MBMBaM 757: Face 2 Face: Ain’t No Horny Like Goose Horny

We’re dominating LIVE from the Dominion Energy Center in Richmond, VA. The audience is honking to win Travis’s money while we answer needling questions about belting showtunes, same birthdays, and invoking That Frasier Feeling™. Suggested talking points: Vatican 2.3, Business Penguin, New Ways to Make Untertainment, Martin Crane Impersonator Who Brings His own Chair, Crime Trailer National Immigration Project: https://nipnlg.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  And their advice should never be followed. Well Travis insists he's a sexpert.

• 0:15Speaker 00

  But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  What's up you cool baby?

• 1:22Griffin McElroy?

  Hello everybody, welcome my brother, my brother and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:31Griffin McElroy?

  What's up Trav Nation, it's me, your middlest brother Travis, vroom vroom McElroy.

• 1:40Griffin McElroy?

  Hey what's up, it's me, the sweet baby brother, 30 under 30 media luminary, built for tough Griffin McElroy.

• 1:50Griffin McElroy?

  And let's give another round of applause for our dad who's cosplaying as The Flush tonight.

• 2:01Griffin McElroy?

  Our dad, thanks Paul, appreciate it, it's for my sweat. I'm gonna get really raunchy this year.

• 2:06Travis McElroy?

  So Paul called it a two, he was like, one towel show or two towel show, Jayman? I was like, it feels like a two towel show.

• 2:13Griffin McElroy?

  He said, depends on how many white claws I spill all over the gosh dang place.

• 2:17Travis McElroy?

  Interestingly, maybe connectedly, Justin, I enjoy your Speed Racer on vacation cosplay. I, my Speed Racer shirt had a noticeable mustard stain on it. Not so noticeable that I noticed it before I packed this morning, but I, noticeable enough to, to leave it at home. I bet that happens to the real Speed Racer. Don't worry. He's moving too fast to be careful with mustard.

• 2:44Griffin McElroy?

  He can't be a meat eater. No way.

• 2:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah. But so it's more of a casual day, but I'm not, I'm not the person I want to make fun of. Oh, okay.

• 2:52Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 2:54Travis McElroy?

  Uh, did you guys get that text?

• 2:56Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man, we got a pretty good Clint McRoy text, um, today. Can we tell you the tale of it? Cause it, I promise it hits. And it's, and it's seasonal. I am busting right out of my collar of this.

• 3:09Travis McElroy?

  They love it. You're so eager for it.

• 3:13Griffin McElroy?

  I, if you sense a certain nervous energy from me tonight, more than usual, uh, it is because I have a light case of food poisoning, am and wearing a one-piece coverall jumpsuit.

• 3:28Travis McElroy?

  High stakes podcast.

• 3:30Griffin McElroy?

  I live on the fucking edge.

• 3:32Travis McElroy?

  The Saw movies have gotten much lower stakes.

• 3:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:36Travis McElroy?

  But they are funnier.

• 3:39Griffin McElroy?

  Anyway, we're not making fun of me or you or Travis tonight.

• 3:43Travis McElroy?

  Either one of us or Travis. Why would you make fun of me? Yeah, uh, we're making fun of our dad. Uh, so here's the text, here's the text that we got today, today, from our dad. Doctor Who canceled as Amazon deal confirms rebranded Doctor Who reboot. Now, for those of you listening at home in audio, the difference- Is, get this, the first doctor is spelled out.

• 4:05Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 4:05Travis McElroy?

  And the second doctor just says D R.

• 4:08Griffin McElroy?

  So next, next image, please, Paul?

• 4:11Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, so here's the text of dad sending it to all of us. Uh, now where he says, that's, that's like to every, that's us and all of our wives.

• 4:20Griffin McElroy?

  Is, is, which is fucking wild, like a wild, a wild scattershot approach.

• 4:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know if he added, but the end is just the beginning as his own sort of putting his own spice on it, but I do like that.

• 4:34Travis McElroy?

  There was a large gap in between there where no one responded, right?

• 4:38Griffin McElroy?

  And if, and if fucking rules that he lets us know exactly which app he shared this important news bulletin from.

• 4:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:45Griffin McElroy?

  The Google app, you said?

• 4:47Travis McElroy?

  Now, next, next, next. Now, what's so fascinating is this was a story from April 1st, 2024. Which, for those of you keeping home, uh, keeping score at home, is 365 days prior to the text we just showed you. Now, that's one unifying factor. The other one is that it is from a website called Doctor Who TV. The exact same goddamn website. On the exact same fucking day, April 1st. Paul, next image, please? Yes, that was texted to us

• 5:24Travis McElroy?

  on April 2nd, 2024.

• 5:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. This website has our dad's fucking number, man.

• 5:35Travis McElroy?

  And I, I also want to highlight here in this text thread, Justin, what I'm going to say is a very gracious response.

• 5:42Griffin McElroy?

  Holy crap.

• 5:43Travis McElroy?

  From you.

• 5:43Griffin McElroy?

  Justin never shows this kind of grace, y'all, especially not to dad, when he does something objectively pretty funny.

• 5:49Travis McElroy?

  Paul, next image?

• 5:52Travis McElroy?

  So I just wanted dad to know, last time he got, he got grace.

• 5:56Travis McElroy?

  He got a free pass. This is from, this is the, this year thread, which Justin responded, sorry, it took us so long to respond to your text, dad. I wanted to stop driving and make sure I had a good screenshot of it first. Okay, so. That's the story of our April Fool's sex from dad. Look forward to 2026, April 2nd.

• 6:16Griffin McElroy?

  One of these days, Doctor Who's really gonna get canceled, or some big shakeup's gonna happen, and he's not gonna believe it.

• 6:23Travis McElroy?

  I know we've talked about this before, but to be like a PR person on April Fool's Day when something big breaks, and you're like, "Can we wait? This can go out tomorrow, right?"

• 6:38Griffin McElroy?

  What do we do here, Justin? We don't just dunk on our dad.

• 6:40Travis McElroy?

  Well, my friend, thank you so much for asking. We don't just dunk on our dad. We also dunk on our dad while we help you, our beloved friends.

• 6:51Travis McElroy?

  We're gonna take your questions and turn them alchemy-like into wisdom. Like, I don't know any other way to do it. A friend from work has recently got me into watching Richmond Pro Wrestling.

• 7:03Travis McElroy?

  RPW represent. I have come to realize that I would really like to be in the ring

• 7:11Travis McElroy?

  as a ref.

• 7:13Travis McElroy?

  What is something that would help me stand out from all the other referees? And that's from reffing in Richmond.

• 7:19Griffin McElroy?

  Are you here? Alright, alright.

• 7:21Travis McElroy?

  Can I ask? There was a big crowd response to Richmond Pro Wrestling.

• 7:30Travis McElroy?

  Is that like a big deal here?

• 7:32Griffin McElroy?

  It seems like it, Trav. I don't know why you shit-talk it after everyone cheers.

• 7:36Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, I'm asking. It could just be a combination of hearing the name of your city.

• 7:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:41Travis McElroy?

  And pro wrestling together.

• 7:42Griffin McElroy?

  This is what I was gonna say.

• 7:43Travis McElroy?

  Makes you very happy.

• 7:44Griffin McElroy?

  If I was seeing a show in Huntington and someone referenced Huntington Pro Wrestling, I'd probably cheer just to be safe.

• 7:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's something I like, yeah.

• 7:55Travis McElroy?

  I support that in theory, if not with my money.

• 7:59Griffin McElroy?

  Here's what I know about wrestling referees, is that they are not often extreme sticklers for the rules. So that could be a nice energy to bring, is you actually have the book up there, and you're constantly...

• 8:13Travis McElroy?

  A huge book.

• 8:13Griffin McElroy?

  And you're gonna get in there. Like, when you see like a submission hold taking place, I want you to get really, really... Really deeply close, looking at it just to make sure there's no-

• 8:21Travis McElroy?

  Break out a measuring tape, maybe, and you're like, getting, "Oh, no, they're not there yet. It's fine."

• 8:26Griffin McElroy?

  Do a lot of slapping them on the back to separate, which is not traditionally something done a lot.

• 8:32Travis McElroy?

  Make them sit in the corner, like, "No, you did bad. Sit in, timeout."

• 8:37Griffin McElroy?

  You could look really, really concerned all the time.

• 8:43Griffin McElroy?

  "Oh, no. Oh, owie. Ouch."

• 8:45Travis McElroy?

  Here's one that you could try, uh, i-if you were to, as a referee, institute an instant replay, but it's a live instant replay. So like, if you didn't see it, you're like, "Stop."

• 8:56Griffin McElroy?

  Do it again.

• 8:57Travis McElroy?

  Do it again, just like you did it, exactly you promised. Uh, now, it's been a long time since I watched pro wrestling, but I don't remember the referees having storylines. So-

• 9:09Griffin McElroy?

  Well-

• 9:10Travis McElroy?

  Maybe big character arc growth, maybe big wrestling things going on over here. You turn away, you look at a picture of a lost love, maybe? Somebody you haven't seen since you signed up for referee school, but once you get out, you're going back there, you're gonna propose to them?

• 9:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 9:27Travis McElroy?

  Something like that, and then you get murdered in the ring.

• 9:30Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, now, hold on, let's explore that. That seems bad.

• 9:35Travis McElroy?

  But you come back.

• 9:36Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, I like that.

• 9:38Travis McElroy?

  And you're your own twin there to get revenge, but only as a referee.

• 9:42Griffin McElroy?

  Referring, you're not, it's so important, you can't cross that line.

• 9:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, you're not a wrestler.

• 9:47Griffin McElroy?

  It's hugely unprofessional, you're not a wrestler. You are a referee, and you should take pride in that.

• 9:51Travis McElroy?

  You come out third, because I think it's wrestler, wrestler, but this time, now Angry Referee comes out to their own theme music, and they're like, "I'm gonna make sure you lose by cheating and fudging calls."

• 10:03Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, that actually-

• 10:04Travis McElroy?

  "Because you murdered my brother." The referees should be first, otherwise, how can they protect the sanctity of the ring? You know, what if they, what if the ref doesn't go first, and they try to use that opportunity to hide ladders? And, like, you know what I mean, hammers and things, like, the ref has to be there from the beginning, so he can make sure there are no hammers hidden anywhere in it.

• 10:26Griffin McElroy?

  Make it, yeah, before every match. Do a 30 minute sweep of the perimeter. I gotta make sure, guys, they tuck all kinds of crazy shit.

• 10:34Travis McElroy?

  Hey, everybody in the first four rows, you need to pick up these folding chairs and move them back. This is not a safe situation. These chairs could be picked up and used against the wrestlers. Here's what I think is gonna set you apart, not only from other Richmond professional wrestling referees, but any referee ever. You're gonna build a big cloud that you can sit in.

• 10:55Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 10:56Travis McElroy?

  That flies around. You're gonna need to hook this up to a thing, and you're over the whole ring.

• 11:01Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool, man. Are we thinking like Jesus Christ or Goku?

• 11:05Travis McElroy?

  No, I was thinking more like the turtle guy in Mario Kart that follows you around. And every so often, if a wrestler breaks the rules, you just lower down a little fishing hook. You grab that wrestler, you pick him up, you take him back over to the corner.

• 11:18Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool. Jesus Christ can actually do that, too.

• 11:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, he's the Fisher of Men. That is true.

• 11:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he's the Fisher of Mail. Scoop you right up, baby.

• 11:26Travis McElroy?

  Since Vatican II, he has been able to. That's a Vatican II edition, yes. Huh. It's a new upgrade. Does he charge you coins when he does it? No, that's in Vatican 2.3. Oh. I am- I love the John Cena skin in Vatican 2.3. When they added lightsabers, though, I thought it broke it.

• 11:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 11:45Travis McElroy?

  I'm currently being harassed by a goose at my place of work. I enter and leave out a side door every day that few other people use, but lately, there has been an aggressive goose blocking the way. I've never had any problems with geese before, but this goose, whom I've named Moose, as I am also afraid of those, hisses and bites at me as soon as I get close to the door. Here's the kicker: He does not harass anyone else who uses the door. He happily waddles away for them. Brothers, animals have always liked me, so why does it sound like this goose wants me dead? And how do I make amends with it? That's from A Goose in Need of Guidance.

• 12:25Griffin McElroy?

  Are you here?

• 12:27Travis McElroy?

  Oh, the goose got him!

• 12:28Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, no!

• 12:29Travis McElroy?

  No! The goose was outside. You're gonna enjoy a comedy show tonight. Ah, isn't that nice? I think that, mm, I might have seen a little window there at the end. The problem is, you're worried about making amends with the goose.

• 12:46Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 12:46Travis McElroy?

  Maybe everyone else has established goose dominance.

• 12:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah. How do they do that?

• 12:51Travis McElroy?

  Head bunk.

• 12:53Griffin McElroy?

  That does seem like maybe the only thing a goose would understand.

• 12:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you're not gonna be able to like show your goose your bank account and they're like, whoa, man. Real high earner.

• 13:02Griffin McElroy?

  Sit him down, show him pictures of your kids, like, I'm happy, I'm totally satisfied with my life. And the goose is like, damn, you got it all figured out, Reggie.

• 13:09Travis McElroy?

  I wish I was you.

• 13:10Griffin McElroy?

  Shit, dude.

• 13:10Travis McElroy?

  Maybe you're the lucky goose. You've already been thoroughly embarrassed. Thank you for that laugh, by the way.

• 13:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it doesn't make any... Lucky goose isn't like a...

• 13:19Travis McElroy?

  It's not even a thing. Uh, I... It is, right? Yeah.

• 13:24Griffin McElroy?

  A lucky goose? Lucky duck is a thing, you fucking lunatics?

• 13:29Travis McElroy?

  I'm a silly goose. And a golden goose.

• 13:32Griffin McElroy?

  You fucking maniacs?

• 13:34Travis McElroy?

  What do you think the opposite?

• 13:35Griffin McElroy?

  Don't encourage him when you know he's wrong. We have two more shows this week.

• 13:40Travis McElroy?

  What do you guys think is the opposite of a silly goose? Cause I think it's a business penguin and I don't know...

• 13:45Griffin McElroy?

  Don't try to pull this thing out of the fire with a great bon mot like business penguin.

• 13:53Travis McElroy?

  You've already lost. The goose knows your number. The goose knows you. You work for the goose now. You work for the goose now. Here's what you gotta do. You gotta go back. The one thing you got about geese is they're dumb. You could go back, big chunky heel, okay? Big pompadour. You've gained six inches now.

• 14:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 14:12Travis McElroy?

  You go back, you have a large, thick, impressive mustache, like, like you were in... In a fog hat or something and you look at the goose and say, "Hey, my name's Jeff. I'm Justin's older brother and I hear that you've been making some trouble." Now the goose is fucking dumb.

• 14:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:28Travis McElroy?

  Goose is like, "Oh shit, di- different guy." You know, like whatever. And then you're like, "If you're causing me more problems," you get it. From that point.

• 14:37Griffin McElroy?

  No, keep going. I don't, I don't quite get it yet. What do you say to the goose?

• 14:40Travis McElroy?

  Well, you're like, "I'll, I'll grab that, I'll grab that gorgeous neck of yours and just start shaking it."

• 14:45Griffin McElroy?

  Is it important to compliment the goose's neck as you?

• 14:49Travis McElroy?

  Are you going for an enemies to lovers thing? Listen, I can't give away all of Jeff's story. It's only season one, but yeah. Good point. We've got some. So you're gonna count on Monte Cristo, the goose? We've got some things planned out. Now I see. Maybe show up wearing that dress that Bjork wore to like the Grammys or whatever. It was the salon and the goose like, "Oh shit."

• 15:08Griffin McElroy?

  Oh shit.

• 15:09Travis McElroy?

  Look at this shit freak. I'm not crossing them.

• 15:12Griffin McElroy?

  It might get goose horny though and no one wants that. Ain't no horny like a goose horny, because a goose horny don't stop.

• 15:21Travis McElroy?

  That is true. Scientifically speaking, once a goose gets horny, it's horny for life. I don't think I said anything wrong. I think that was all accurate. It never stops? I don't want anybody to get upset about this, so, but I do feel very strongly about it and I believe it a lot. I do think you should punch the goose because the one thing that we have as people, now listen. Thank you for agreeing. The one thing that we have as people, and it's not a lot, but we can, one of these, you know?

• 15:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:53Travis McElroy?

  And it doesn't have to be for any kind of reason. It could just be because, "Out of my way goose." And that goose needs to believe that with his whole soul. Not that they have souls, but like you get it. Could you at least hire a stunt goose to punch in front of the goose so at least then it's complicit in it?

• 16:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:09Travis McElroy?

  Are you saying get a goose from the market? No. A highly trained stunt goose.

• 16:15Griffin McElroy?

  What if you get the goose as big as me from the shop window?

• 16:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:19Griffin McElroy?

  Cover it back in feathers.

• 16:20Travis McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 16:21Griffin McElroy?

  When it's looking, you're like, "That motherfucker killed the biggest goose I've ever seen in my fucking life."

• 16:26Travis McElroy?

  On Christmas.

• 16:26Griffin McElroy?

  On Christmas morning, he kills the biggest goose I've ever seen, rips its feathers out in front of us.

• 16:33Travis McElroy?

  Hey, can I?

• 16:33Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know what happened to the head.

• 16:34Travis McElroy?

  P.S. It's gone. Has anyone ever thought about that from the perspective of the shop owner? Who has a goose hanging in the window and it's Christmas day? And he's like, if I haven't sold this fucking thing by today, I'm gonna have to throw away the biggest goose I've ever butchered.

• 16:53Griffin McElroy?

  The goose store owner is the one who organized the whole ghost thing. Just.

• 16:58Travis McElroy?

  I gotta move this goose.

• 17:02Travis McElroy?

  I thought I was so smart. I made it so expensive, but nobody bought it. Now I just got this big old stinky goose. And my wife told me, don't buy the goose as big as that orphan child. And I said, somebody's gonna want this goose, Deborah. She said, Michael, 30 crowds is ridiculous. I said, nobody knows how many crowds is. It's monopoly money, Deborah.

• 17:24Griffin McElroy?

  What are you eating for lunch? Cause that could be a real goose attraction vector.

• 17:30Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I thought you meant start a conversation with the goose. I thought you were saying. Hey, what are you doing for lunch? I thought you were saying eat the goose for lunch.

• 17:37Griffin McElroy?

  I guess there are a lot of ways that, I guess there's a lot of ways that that sentence could be read. And I apologize for, for being.

• 17:43Travis McElroy?

  All of them work. No more apologies, 2025. Hey.

• 17:47Griffin McElroy?

  I don't like that as to the motto.

• 17:49Travis McElroy?

  Just for us personally.

• 17:50Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, cool.

• 17:50Travis McElroy?

  Wait, not even that's not good. Travis? So here we are with our friends in Richmond. Hi, everybody.

• 17:57Griffin McElroy?

  Hi.

• 17:58Travis McElroy?

  And I thought it would be fun to get the crowd involved and the crowd at home involved with a little play along at home, special edition.

• 18:10Griffin McElroy?

  I have a, I have a, I have a tummy ache and you're doing this on stage. By the way, this is the first time I heard audible boos in the audience and I want you to know that you're, you are brave. You are brave.

• 18:23Travis McElroy?

  You guys are gonna love this.

• 18:25Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 18:25Travis McElroy?

  Because here's what's up. I have 10 questions.

• 18:28Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck yeah.

• 18:29Travis McElroy?

  And I have 10 $10 bills. Wait, what?

• 18:34Travis McElroy?

  And if my brothers get their questions right, I will give them $10 for a question.

• 18:39Griffin McElroy?

  He dropped $10 backstage and then was so weird about it. And now I know exactly why.

• 18:46Travis McElroy?

  But if the round passes, right? If they don't get the questions right, I'm gonna ask people in the audience.

• 18:52Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, my God.

• 18:54Travis McElroy?

  And if you get, probably people in the front. Let's be honest.

• 18:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, let's be honest, sorry.

• 18:58Travis McElroy?

  I will give them the money.

• 18:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. That's, that's so, gonna go so bad, man.

• 19:04Travis McElroy?

  I'm so excited. Okay.

• 19:06Griffin McElroy?

  You're setting up a situation.

• 19:07Travis McElroy?

  There's people in our work Slack who are here talking about this in our work Slack right now. I agree, everyone, it is an incredible idea. Okay. Go ahead, Travis. The first round's about Supernatural.

• 19:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, fuck you. No, no, no, no, fuck you. Also, you've created a situation where if we get questions right, the audience will be upset.

• 19:29Travis McElroy?

  Griffin.

• 19:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 19:31Travis McElroy?

  In Season... In Season 6, Dean is given the chance to name a monster he first encountered. What does he name them?

• 19:40Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, he definitely calls him Piss Whistle, uh, the Devils.

• 19:44Travis McElroy?

  Why are you so angry, Griffin? I've put my own money on the line to make this fun for you.

• 19:49Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, Gollum with your fucking impossible riddles? I don't watch this television program, and you know that.

• 19:56Travis McElroy?

  Justin, in Supernatural, Cassiel says to Dean at their first meeting...

• 19:59Griffin McElroy?

  Are you not gonna ask the audience what, for $10?

• 20:02Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 20:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, sorry, I've misunderstood the fucking rules of this game.

• 20:05Travis McElroy?

  Because somebody needs to get both questions right to get $20.

• 20:09Griffin McElroy?

  Jesus Christ, man.

• 20:10Travis McElroy?

  Okay, Justin, in Supernatural, Cassiel says to Dean at their first meeting, "I am the one who gripped you tight and what?" "I am the one who gripped you tight..." "And..." "...made you whole."

• 20:25Travis McElroy?

  Beautiful, but not correct. Does someone here, you know both answers? Okay, what are the answers?

• 20:32Griffin McElroy?

  Jefferson's.

• 20:34Travis McElroy?

  Correct!

• 20:35Griffin McElroy?

  Gripped you tight, wow.

• 20:41Griffin McElroy?

  This is probably illegal.

• 20:44Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 20:44Griffin McElroy?

  We didn't look it up.

• 20:47Travis McElroy?

  Congratulations. Justin. Yeah.

• 20:50Griffin McElroy?

  That's very good Tummy Buddy cosplay. I feel it in my, in my genuine soul right now. Oh, with the cap and everything, it's, it's, it's simply wonderful.

• 20:59Travis McElroy?

  Justin, for college, I attended the University of Oklahoma. Say again. For college, I attended the University of Oklahoma. No kidding? Yeah. What is the OU? Oh, that wasn't the. What is the OU call and response cheer? Boomer Sooner. Correct! Thank you so much.

• 21:15Griffin McElroy?

  Did you hear the fucking response? Cause they were like, "That's $10 I'm not going to get."

• 21:20Travis McElroy?

  Griffin.

• 21:21Griffin McElroy?

  This bit, Travis, you are finding new ways to make entertainment.

• 21:26Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, where does the school mascot of the University of Oklahoma get its name?

• 21:32Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, fucking the wagons that they took out on the Oregon Trail to the great west.

• 21:37Travis McElroy?

  Incorrect. Does anyone know? Yes, you know? What is it?

• 21:43Travis McElroy?

  Perfect. Excellent. $10 for you.

• 21:46Griffin McElroy?

  But the wagons.

• 21:47Travis McElroy?

  Enjoy the $10. That's so cool. I got $10 too.

• 21:51Griffin McElroy?

  Paul? But the wagons, aren't the wagons also called?

• 21:53Travis McElroy?

  They're called schooners. That's what you were thinking of. Just. Yeah, man. Griffin, in How to Train Your Dragon. Oh, great. Hiccup's twin schoolmates. Who's? Hiccup's. Are named Roughnut and what? Pisswhistle.

• 22:11Travis McElroy?

  Incorrect. Justin. Yeah. Hiccup's dad is known as blank the blank. Skimble Shanks the Railway Cat. So close. You know? Okay, what is it?

• 22:25Travis McElroy?

  Correct! Wow, congratulations.

• 22:27Griffin McElroy?

  What was fucking Roughnut's twin?

• 22:30Travis McElroy?

  Toughnut.

• 22:31Griffin McElroy?

  I gotta see these fucking movies, man!

• 22:35Travis McElroy?

  Okay, Griffin. Is this it? No. Fuck! These questions are about Wonder Man. Spoken like somebody that doesn't have $10.

• 22:45Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, Wonder Man.

• 22:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:47Travis McElroy?

  Has two brothers.

• 22:48Griffin McElroy?

  Man.

• 22:49Travis McElroy?

  Vision is his younger brother.

• 22:51Griffin McElroy?

  From?

• 22:51Travis McElroy?

  Who is his older brother?

• 22:53Griffin McElroy?

  Ultron.

• 22:54Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 22:55Griffin McElroy?

  But Vision is Ultron's younger brother.

• 22:57Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 23:00Griffin McElroy?

  I really, here's, can I say something, Travis? Since I realize that Justin has $10 and I do not.

• 23:06Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:07Griffin McElroy?

  I wanna get one of these right pretty bad.

• 23:10Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Griffin, can I just say? I have not appreciated $10 that I've earned. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've loved $10 this much. I've already got some snacks in the lobby of our hotel. I'm already thinking about, they had some sour gummy life.

• 23:25Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man, fuck.

• 23:26Travis McElroy?

  And it said cash only. Justin, what alias did Wonder Man use in an alternate future when aiding the Guardians of the Galaxy? Booster Gold. Incorrect. Skimble Shanks the Railway Cat. Incorrect. Fuck. Does anyone know? Yes, what are they?

• 23:41Griffin McElroy?

  Grim Reaper.

• 23:42Travis McElroy?

  Grim Reaper was his brother. Do you know? I'll give you $10.

• 23:47Griffin McElroy?

  Just give him $10. Paul, I think that's in the fucking balcony, my man. I'm so sorry. The game is fucked up, right?

• 23:54Travis McElroy?

  Okay, one more round. Dad just texted me that Dad knew the answer, so I'm gonna give him $10. No, wait. It was Hollywood. Dad, it was Hollywood, that is correct. I'm gonna give Dad $10. So now Dad has $10 and Justin has $10.

• 24:09Griffin McElroy?

  This game sucks ass.

• 24:12Travis McElroy?

  This is such a hyper-targeted game that out of the over 1,000 people in the room, two of the people with $10 are on this stage in his family. Like, so far, that's the odds. This is for Dad. Okay, sad, Dad, $10. One in the last round, this is about Pirates of the Caribbean. No, Dad, stop, Dad. I'll bring it to you. No, Dad is just dying to, no, Dad, sorry. This is $10, guys, it's driving him crazy. Dad, I promise I'll bring it to you. Justin. Yeah. In Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl, what is the name of the naval officer who is Will's rival for the love of Elizabeth?

• 24:52Travis McElroy?

  Bill. I'm looking for the last. Sykes. Bill Sykes. Bill Sykes is incorrect. Griffin.

• 25:00Griffin McElroy?

  Wanda Sykes.

• 25:03Travis McElroy?

  What is the name of the monkey in Pirates of the Caribbean?

• 25:07Griffin McElroy?

  I'll get this, I'll get this. It's not Piss Whistle, as bad as I want it to say that.

• 25:14Travis McElroy?

  Chippy? No. Bananas, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong. Wait, hold on, I didn't call anyone from over here, yes.

• 25:22Travis McElroy?

  Correct. Hey, great job. We called the monkey Jack. It's Norrington and Jack. Thank you, everybody, for playing Win. Travis McElroy's money.

• 25:37Travis McElroy?

  And you guys are cool reimbursing me out of the

• 25:39Griffin McElroy?

  This is what I do like, is that I didn't win $10, but I also didn't lose $100.

• 25:46Travis McElroy?

  I don't see it as losing, I provided enjoyment.

• 25:48Griffin McElroy?

  On this stage, I came in second place.

• 25:53Travis McElroy?

  I mean, I guess if Dad and Justin tied.

• 25:55Griffin McElroy?

  Third place.

• 25:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. My sister's birthday is in about a month, and she loves Frasier. What are some fun Frasier-themed things that I can do for her? That's from, "I'm listening to your suggestions."

• 26:12Travis McElroy?

  And that, and, and...

• 26:13Griffin McElroy?

  Are you here? Alright.

• 26:15Travis McElroy?

  It's Frasier the Original, right? Now Frasier the Reboot?

• 26:19Griffin McElroy?

  There's so much lore in Frasier the Reboot.

• 26:23Travis McElroy?

  Well, it's after the zombies attack.

• 26:25Griffin McElroy?

  Right. It was after he tore down the pillars of sin. Do you guys remember at the end of the first run of Frasier where he tears down the pillars of sin?

• 26:34Travis McElroy?

  I remember that.

• 26:36Griffin McElroy?

  He causes the fourth impact, and it happens right in Seattle.

• 26:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And the dog talks.

• 26:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, the dog talks. Niles turns into Juice, the dog talks. It's a kick-ass episode of television.

• 26:49Travis McElroy?

  At first blush, Richmond, Virginia does not seem to be that close to Seattle where Frasier is set. You mean like physically? You look at a map, right? We're talking about climate-wise, it's going to be tough to evoke that Frasier feeling.

• 27:07Griffin McElroy?

  Of the Pacific Northwest, the moody sort of...

• 27:10Travis McElroy?

  If you were to draw a line, it's pretty far away, is what I'm saying. This is not close to Seattle at all. So we've got to recreate the experience here. I looked it up. You all do have a needle, like in Seattle. It's called the, it says the Richmond Needle.

• 27:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's on, it's on the RVA Reddit. I don't know, it just says Richmond Needle. I don't know. So you guys can look into that if you want, but that's the closest you have to a needle. And next up would be like, uh, who's like your guys' big radio psychiatrist?

• 27:45Travis McElroy?

  Cause I Googled it and I was like biggest radio psychiatrist in Richmond. And I don't have a lot of hits on that one. So I don't know if you guys have like-

• 27:53Griffin McElroy?

  I think it's just syndicated Frasier.

• 27:57Travis McElroy?

  Now, right there, the, like, it was so low hanging, it was almost touching the ground, was the fruit served toss salad and scrambled eggs. And you went with, I'm gonna Google-

• 28:07Griffin McElroy?

  Recreate Frasier on the opposite end of the nation.

• 28:11Travis McElroy?

  I know you can get toss salad and scrambled eggs in Richmond, Virginia, right? I'm trying to evoke that Frasier feeling, guys. You could also probably find an old man in the chair pretty easily. Yeah, Travis, that would be really helpful. Thank you for finally being productive. Instead of just yelling at me. It would be easier to Google Martin Crane impersonator- Slow down, I can't type that fast. Martin Crane impersonator brings own chair, Richmond area?

• 28:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:41Travis McElroy?

  Cause we wanna expand it out.

• 28:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:43Travis McElroy?

  M for M.

• 28:47Travis McElroy?

  And that stands for my Forster's birthday. Martin for my sister. Martin for my sister.

• 29:00Travis McElroy?

  Now, this is important. Does he need to bring his own dog or not? Because that's gonna cost you extra. Yeah, that's, that's a little extra. Uh, uh, oh, the coffee. Also, uh, according to the RVA Reddit-

• 29:12Griffin McElroy?

  Jesus Christ.

• 29:14Travis McElroy?

  Roastology and the iron clad, those are the places you wanna go for the best coffee. So, you take it to those places and then in every one, you're like, you smell it, right? You smell the Frasier essence. You smell the Frasier, like, that, that distinct- I mean, that Frasier feeling. I can't, I try to say it another way, but it is that Frasier feeling. So you do a whole day. You go to this needle that you guys are obviously crazy about. What, what looks like a broadcast tower. It is a broadcast tower. I don't think it's a landmark. I think it's a broadcast tower, so we put a picture of on the arc. And now is the old man in the chair with the dog at the tower or the coffee shop? This post is from 10 days ago. I know the needle is still there, okay? Just go look at it yourself.

• 29:59Travis McElroy?

  And then you take him to a coffee- Paul, Google Seattle!

• 30:03Travis McElroy?

  No, Richmond, yeah. Google Richmond Space Needle and then go to the RVA Reddit, right? And then there's a picture there and people are gonna see it, be like, "Oh shit, the Needle." "I don't know why we're given such a hard time." And so then you take your sister to a coffee shop and you say- Not just any coffee shop, the Ironclad or Roastology to get that Frasier feeling. And while you're in the coffee shop, you say, "We're getting coffee just like they did on Frasier." "Happy birthday, you're paying." "Because I spent every cent I had hiring this Martin Crane impersonator who brings his own chair." But he got the date wrong and he didn't make it- Ah, yeah. "He'll be here next week." "Oh, but it's the same day you have that surgery." "Oh, no." Oh, no.

• 30:48Griffin McElroy?

  Can I ask, do you guys know about Frasier? Or are you-

• 30:53Travis McElroy?

  That's about a third.

• 30:54Griffin McElroy?

  That was about a third. I will say that that just about tracks.

• 30:58Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 30:59Griffin McElroy?

  That does make sense. I think you could probably just get your sister Frasier on DVD and she'd be happy with that. Cause probably doesn't have a lot of people to talk to about Frasier.

• 31:08Travis McElroy?

  Maybe that's it. Maybe for your sister's birthday, you say, "You have one hour to tell me everything you can remember about Frasier, "everything you want to tell me about fan theories about Frasier, "everything, every deleted scene and blooper you've ever seen and I will not make a face." Nope. "I will not be judgmental." Nope. "And I'll just be here for it." And let them, and I guarantee they're gonna get 15 minutes in and run out of steam. Yeah. And then you're set and then you take him to coffee with an old man in a chair.

• 31:35Griffin McElroy?

  I think a kick-ass party is you sit your sister down and you just put on that video of Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage on like an hour-long loop. That's gonna treat you just right.

• 31:46Travis McElroy?

  And maybe in reverse, so this time because your sister loves Frasier so much.

• 31:49Griffin McElroy?

  It looks like Kelsey Grammer-

• 31:50Travis McElroy?

  It looks like Frasier's rising-

• 31:52Griffin McElroy?

  He's not terribly injured. And Paul, I'm gonna need you to pull that up now. A reverse Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage-

• 31:58Travis McElroy?

  How about another question? If you could pull up a reverse Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage in front of the Richmond Needle.

• 32:04Griffin McElroy?

  That would be so dope.

• 32:05Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, just photoshop that for me, Paul.

• 32:07Griffin McElroy?

  Sometimes we give Paul little activities to do. We don't have a lot of sort of technical requirements. For our show, and so we don't want him to get bored.

• 32:15Travis McElroy?

  And he finishes the word search so quickly.

• 32:18Griffin McElroy?

  These days.

• 32:18Travis McElroy?

  Um, I'm a special agent for the state and I'm also an avid. Okay, Jason Bourne. I'm an avid musical theater fan. It is not uncommon for me to be belting out some of my favorite numbers in the car as I do a lot of driving. One of my coworkers witnessed one of my showstoppers while I was following them and they described seeing someone in uniform screaming in their car. This is quote, quote screaming in their car as they go down the road as unsettling. I've tried to adjust by singing everything in deadpan, but it just feels like I'm yawning. Brothers, how can I continue to support the arts in my heart while not also freaking out the public? That's from Really Regret Writing in RVA. Are you here?

• 32:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yep.

• 33:00Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 33:01Griffin McElroy?

  Are you the guy from Storage Wars?

• 33:03Travis McElroy?

  I just want to say that if you take a thing that looks like screaming and don't alter that part, but rather make your face deadpan. It sounds like you know the part that you gotta fix first. Cause I don't think that looks like yawning. Yeah. If you're trying, yeah.

• 33:21Travis McElroy?

  If you're trying to scream without it look like you're screaming, that's kind of my thing. I'm doing it all the time. So it's, uh, the, the number is very important, right? Because the threatening like of a Les Mis where you have a javert and a valje, like squaring off, right?

• 33:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 33:36Travis McElroy?

  I don't think you want it to be a duet because then there's extended periods where you are very animated and then you still have to buy it in the moment. And that's probably worse to see is someone listening with intent in their car. Just kind of like, well, and reacting, oh, Valjean, how dare, you know, like, yeah. Ad libbing maybe, throw in an ad lib.

• 33:55Griffin McElroy?

  It doesn't, I don't know exactly what your job entails, but I don't know.

• 33:59Travis McElroy?

  A special agent for the state. It's all there.

• 34:04Griffin McElroy?

  But I don't want you doing a two-hander in the front seat of your, uh, of your vehicle. I don't believe.

• 34:09Travis McElroy?

  I think you went the wrong direction because you took it and you said it made it more deadpan. I think you gotta zhuzh it up. I think you need some like, uh, sparkly curtains in there. You need some jazz hands.

• 34:21Griffin McElroy?

  In the automobile.

• 34:22Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 34:23Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, good.

• 34:23Travis McElroy?

  And you're gonna need some maybe lighting effects, maybe stage drink up.

• 34:27Griffin McElroy?

  Great, yeah.

• 34:28Travis McElroy?

  Oh, oh, like, I think you should leave, you should have a phantom mask decal on the window. Fuck, that'd be so cool. So that as you sing, you turn. Lean into it. Oh, that's good.

• 34:39Griffin McElroy?

  Shit, man, what if just all over your windows and windshields, you had different masks? So depending on where you moved your face, you could be any kind of drama.

• 34:49Travis McElroy?

  But it is a government vehicle, so that might create some complications. And you are driving.

• 34:53Griffin McElroy?

  Park next to the other special agent cars and be like, which one's yours? The one with all the drama masks on it.

• 35:01Travis McElroy?

  I think your coworker just fell for one of the oldest special agent tests in the world, and that's keep your eye on the road. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of the danger, I gotta say, it's the danger to like, I Googled it, dignitaries and passports, as near as I could tell.

• 35:19Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, what's that job again?

• 35:21Travis McElroy?

  Special agents, as near as I could tell from Googling, mainly cover visiting dignitaries and passport crime. That's my best guess from a cursory Google.

• 35:30Griffin McElroy?

  Do you go hand in hand often?

• 35:32Travis McElroy?

  I didn't read the website closely, but the two things, I didn't admit it being a cursory Google, I think I made that pretty clear, yeah. Passport crime and protecting visiting dignitaries, I think is. Was there a visiting dignitary in your car while you were belting show tunes? Yeah. Because that's incredible.

• 35:50Griffin McElroy?

  What a wonderful immersive experience you must be giving them. Or was there a passport burglar in the car?

• 35:58Travis McElroy?

  You never know what kind of crime. That's great, because, yeah, listen, this passport isn't going to grant you entry to this country, but it is going to grant you one ticket to the greatest show on the road. Get in here, I'm doing all the words from a brand new brain, or whatever it's called.

• 36:14Griffin McElroy?

  Brand new brain is what it's called.

• 36:15Travis McElroy?

  What's it called?

• 36:16Griffin McElroy?

  Brand new brain, Travis, you got it in one. And we'll be right back.

• 36:19Travis McElroy?

  Bye.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Hi, we're the McRae Brothers. You've just caught us on tour. That's right, we're recording these on the road. And when we travel, we mail ourselves in giant envelopes like Flat Stanley does.

• 36:40Travis McElroy?

  That's right.

• 36:41Griffin McElroy?

  True, Travis, we let ourselves get squished with a big bulletin board, and we mail ourselves like Flat Stanley does it.

• 36:46Travis McElroy?

  This used to be 88% more of a fucking pain in the ass. Because it used to be a lot more expensive before we found out about stamps.com. And then they started hooking us up with some rates we couldn't find anywhere else that were up to 88% off the USPS and UPS. Now, getting a bicycle pump and having our daddy pump us back up into normal people, that's still on us.

• 37:07Griffin McElroy?

  Stamps can't help us with that. I don't want, that's an intimate process. I don't want stamps.com.

• 37:12Travis McElroy?

  Stamps will not reinflate you. There's noises that happen during that that no other human being should be forced to hear. Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. Sign up at stamps.com and use code MYBROTHER for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com, code MYBROTHER. You know, we talk about stamps.com a lot. Trust us. If you haven't done it, stop listening to it. Just do it. It'll make your life a lot more convenient. It's gonna change everything.

• 37:40Griffin McElroy?

  It's gonna change everything. Just like when the big bulletin board fell on me and it did squish me flat, which is very fun and funny, but what they don't tell you in Flat Stanley is I also did extreme severe damage to all of my internal organs.

• 37:54Travis McElroy?

  And you know, Griffin, when you're living in a new area, it can be hard to find a reinflation doctor that you can trust.

• 38:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:01Travis McElroy?

  One that can tuck all those internal organs back in your body after you've been squished flat.

• 38:05Griffin McElroy?

  When you get squished flat, there's nowhere for the organs and bones to go.

• 38:09Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 38:09Griffin McElroy?

  And so I did need a special doctor for that and I did find them on Zocdoc.

• 38:14Travis McElroy?

  Wow.

• 38:15Griffin McElroy?

  Wow. Yeah, you would think Washington DC, you can't throw a stick without hitting an inflation doctor.

• 38:19Travis McElroy?

  Inflation doctor, you must be talking about Joseph Biden. I don't, is he a doctor?

• 38:24Griffin McElroy?

  Good Christ almighty and Jesus in heaven.

• 38:27Travis McElroy?

  Political stuff, you guys like political stuff.

• 38:28Griffin McElroy?

  It says actually right here in the ad copy for Zocdoc, it says get extra political on this one. It says get nasty on Joe Biden on this one. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality.

• 38:40Travis McElroy?

  Griff, I don't see that.

• 38:40Griffin McElroy?

  It's at the bottom.

• 38:41Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 38:42Griffin McElroy?

  Where you can compare high-quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health, dental health, eye care to skincare and much more. Plus, Zocdoc appointments happen fast, usually within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments. I really have you. Zocdoc more more times than I can count to find

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Very sick.

• 39:07Griffin McElroy?

  Specialists and doctors in Washington, D.C.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  The best doctors. I swore to. We found the best doctors. And it wasn't Zocdoc that we found Griffin the best doctors.

• 39:16Travis McElroy?

  Found the best.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Getting the help he needs.

• 39:18Travis McElroy?

  You know, when I need real medical advice on whether or not people understand a flat Stanley reference in 2025, I look for that doctor on Zocdoc. And then Zocdoc tells me, we don't have doctors for that. And I say, what about, I don't know, eye exams? And they're like, yeah, we can do that.

• 39:34Griffin McElroy?

  Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com/ mybrother to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O C D O C dot com slash mybrother. Zocdoc dot com slash mybrother.

• 39:47Travis McElroy?

  Now, we also have some announcements we want to tell you about. First of all, thank you to everybody who came out for the Raleigh and Charlotte and Richmond shows. It was a wonderful time. Thank you all for being there. We got more coming up. We're coming to the Origins Game Fair in Columbus, Ohio, June 19th through the 22nd. Tickets are on sale now for that and for shows in Michigan, Minnesota, and Ohio. All TAS shows this this go around are going to be TAS versus. You can get all the info and ticket links at bit.ly/macroitours. We got that new merch over at the merch store, including the Etherseed dice designed by Evelyn.

• 40:22Griffin McElroy?

  Gorgeous.

• 40:22Travis McElroy?

  Make sure you check those out. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the National Immigration Project.

• 40:28Griffin McElroy?

  So go check that out. Come see us on tour and keep it so chill, like casual. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  It's not a big thing, you know?

• 40:38Griffin McElroy?

  And we'll see you next. We'll catch you on the flip.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  Who's ready for some science? With sources and nuance.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  And some funny jokes from me. And some funny jokes from me.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins. From quantum physics to the history of swearing. As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hopper. And Tom Lum. So join us next time where we will learn about everything. Hey, are you playing a video game right now? Maybe you put on a podcast.

• 41:24Speaker 05

  While grinding in an RPG.

• 41:26Speaker 04

  Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time. Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.

• 41:32Speaker 05

  I'm Jason Schreier.

• 41:33Speaker 04

  And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast. A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 41:40Speaker 05

  Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.

• 41:48Speaker 05

  And breaking news out of the video game industry.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  And we also talk about other stuff besides games.

• 41:53Speaker 05

  So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.

• 41:57Speaker 04

  Listen on maximumfun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 42:13Travis McElroy?

  What the fuck is happening?

• 42:16Travis McElroy?

  We clearly didn't sound check this.

• 42:38Travis McElroy?

  Richard is gonna wear himself out.

• 42:42Travis McElroy?

  Hi, you're welcome. It's me, Richard Stink. I'm back on the show. Hi, Richard. It's my new music. I rolled it. Richard, you need to let us know when you're gonna be on the show so we can sound check your intro music. Sounded really, really super good to me. Sorry you don't party. You also need to, you need to let us know also so we can move the helmet out of the way so you don't have a strip over it. I thought you paid a guy to do that.

• 43:07Travis McElroy?

  Richard, your sound, your sound cue blasted a kidney stone from me and then put a new one in it. Yeah, right. It's actually, uh, it's ambroxin. It's a rock of pure fragrance hidden inside your belly. What? When you pass it, it will be so fresh in your bathroom. You will thank me later. When I pass a kidney stone, it makes my bathroom smell so good, I'll thank you? When I give you the kidney stone, yeah. Awesome. Will it make a blink noise? Cause that's happened to me before. No, it's a.

• 43:41Travis McElroy?

  I didn't say plink when I passed the kidney stone, Richard. Yeah, that's the sound the kidney stone makes when it hits the wall. It will say ah? Ah. It's effervescent. Time for a quiz, guys. I want to learn a little bit more about you. All right. I always ask you your five signature sins for spring, or summer, or any season. Yeah. And you say, I don't even have a sin, let alone many sins. I do say that. And then you ask us a lot about our walk with Christ. Well, guess what? That's later. Right now, I'm going to give you a quiz. I found it on WikiHow, your favorite site. So just to clarify, Richard, right now, you're combining giving us a test on stage and WikiHow. Yeah. The two segments we've already done.

• 44:26Travis McElroy?

  Just to warm me, the energy would be weird with you. All right, here we go, guys. Wait, you talk to Justin onstage? I talk with Justin every day. It's Justin, then Christ, then Justin again. The old Justin-Christ sandwich. I'd like to catch him up. Hey, listen, it's time for a quiz. You put catch him up on your Christ-Justin sandwich? I'm going to do a quiz for both of you, so I get a sin that encapsulates both your spirit and soul. A sense of our sins. Okay. Big guy, you're first. How would you? Which one of us is the big guy? How would you describe, if you have to ask, it's not you, how would you describe?

• 45:03Travis McElroy?

  Sorry. I mean, it's true. I'm a burly princess. I mean, if you have to ask. That's true. All right, how would you describe the sin you love best, big man? You've done a lot of tongue work since you've been onstage, Richard. Sweet and flirty, warm and spicy, sultry and seductive, or fun and happy, man. Wait, what was the third one? And the fourth one? Just sultry and seductive, down here. Sultry and seductive. Or fun and happy. There's 12. Answer quick. Sorry, so, sorry, what was? Fun and happy, sultry and sedu... I don't need to keep saying that one. It's not that. It's warm and spicy, sweet and flirty, fun and happy. It's not sultry. It's definitely not the third one. If you say it, I won't mark it. So, sweet and flirty, warm and spicy, fun and happy.

• 45:47Travis McElroy?

  I'm warm and spicy. Thank you. Easy. Griffin? Yeah? Pick a location. Why? Okay. The beach at midnight. There's no sound, but there is a crashing wave.

• 46:00Travis McElroy?

  Cozy kitchen with cookies. There's no sound, but...

• 46:03Griffin McElroy?

  But there's a crashing wave.

• 46:05Travis McElroy?

  No sound.

• 46:06Griffin McElroy?

  A silent crashing.

• 46:08Travis McElroy?

  I did the accent wrong again, man. This English, unbelievable. A co- it's my first language. It's just hard. A cozy kitchen with cookies, baking the oven and the snow falling outside. Or a misty English countryside garden, early morning, pip, hip. A bright bustling city on a summer day.

• 46:28Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, cookies.

• 46:29Travis McElroy?

  In the Vespa, cruising through the city streets.

• 46:32Griffin McElroy?

  It sounds like you're jazzing on some of these, Rich.

• 46:35Travis McElroy?

  I thought you liked jazz. Come on, answer.

• 46:37Griffin McElroy?

  Cookies in the kitchen, Richard.

• 46:39Travis McElroy?

  Gourmand. Look in the mirror. What do you see, big guy? Myself? Someone trying to hide. Oh. Royalty? Well, royalty, someone who could get anyone they want, easy. Or I just see me, no more, no less. Oh, royalty. Oh, no, first thought, best thought. All right. Uh, Griffin, what do you, what's?

• 46:59Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, you know my name. Now that's cool.

• 47:01Travis McElroy?

  You've been Griffin both times. What smell do you gravitate towards, man? Bouquet of fresh flowers or a Snickerdoodle?

• 47:09Griffin McElroy?

  How come I keep doing cookie stuff?

• 47:11Travis McElroy?

  I like how you phrased it like it was two owners competing over which one the dog really loved. They won. And you had fresh flowers over here and Snickerdoodle over here. And which one is Griffin go towards? We got two. Weak old puppy. Not the W E A K. Yeah. Look at that weak old puppy. The weak old puppy got jacked disease. It's hysterical.

• 47:31Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, even, even in the other context, weak old puppy sounds like leftovers of the worst variety.

• 47:41Travis McElroy?

  Also, a weak old puppy isn't going anywhere.

• 47:44Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 47:45Travis McElroy?

  And it doesn't, so do you like a smell of it or is it bad? Can I have? Just say, oh, I thought you were talking about my dog thing, but literally one of the options is a weak old puppy.

• 47:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:56Travis McElroy?

  Or the woods after a heavy rain.

• 47:58Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, I like woods after a heavy rain.

• 48:00Travis McElroy?

  Easy. God. Travis, if you were an item at a thrift store, what would you be? On sale. A vintage wedding dress, a string of pearls, a wicker cabinet, or a half-empty bottle of perfume?

• 48:15Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, those are my only options? This is the only one that has a puzzle. I would be an old ass wedding dress. Okay, perfect. No, sorry, that was a question. The die is cast.

• 48:25Griffin McElroy?

  He already clicked.

• 48:26Travis McElroy?

  Don't play games with me, baby. Do you believe in? Griffin, do you believe in fate? It's important to your shit journey.

• 48:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, no, it's on there.

• 48:36Travis McElroy?

  Do you want the choices?

• 48:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 48:38Travis McElroy?

  Totally. I think so. That's what you said. It's in there. I'm not even going further. Travis, what scent do you normally wear? Masculine, feminine, gender neutral, or I wear whatever? How is there a difference between gender neutral and I wear whatever? Yeah, I don't have a really good answer, but like, and not the funny one at least. You want to push a button or you want me to? Gender neutral. Thank you. Griffin, where do you wear perfume? Smell him and tell me if it's here, Travis.

• 49:09Griffin McElroy?

  I wouldn't recommend it, man. I actually, can I say, I had a bottle of hair oil come open in my luggage last time I traveled with this outfit, and so it smells a little bit like hair oil, and that ain't half bad, folks.

• 49:26Travis McElroy?

  The other half is bad, but half of it is pretty good. Hey, listen, Griffin, where do you wear perfume? To sleep, just to work our school, on hot dates, or fun nights out? Or I don't usually wear perfume. Do people wear perfume to sleep?

• 49:41Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, is there a fifth option on here that says I don't normally wear perfume?

• 49:46Travis McElroy?

  If you do the answer, you're saying why you did this whole quiz about it.

• 49:50Griffin McElroy?

  I will put on a scent for a date with my wife sometimes.

• 49:54Travis McElroy?

  Beautiful. All right. So cool. Wow, we really love it. Griffin's very funny. Travis, what's your vibe? What's your vibe? Fresh and clean, glamorous and classic, whimsical and witchy, or happy-go-lucky and friendly, or fresh and clean? Can I be glamorous and witchy? Absolutely not. I'll pick one for you. Okay. Griffin, what do you value the most? Comfort, passion, adventure, love, or your brothers?

• 50:21Griffin McElroy?

  Brothers is not on there.

• 50:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it says it right there.

• 50:25Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I gotta say then, brothers.

• 50:27Travis McElroy?

  Pick a different one, though, just in case.

• 50:29Griffin McElroy?

  Just in case what?

• 50:31Travis McElroy?

  It's not on there, man. I don't know.

• 50:32Griffin McElroy?

  Passion, adventure.

• 50:33Travis McElroy?

  You already should have listened to your heart. I pushed passion. You said it first, Travis.

• 50:37Griffin McElroy?

  Shit.

• 50:37Travis McElroy?

  What would you describe? Yourself as a leader or more of a follower?

• 50:41Speaker 00

  There's only two choices?

• 50:42Travis McElroy?

  Definitely a leader, probably more of a follower, neither. I go off on my own and I guess if people follow you, you hide from them. Uh, I'd rather be a follower, but people look to me to lead. How is that not reversed? I'd rather be a leader, but I'm a leader, damn it. Just pick one, man. Right? Do you guys think I'm a leader? Rich. Definitely a leader. A true leader has to ask other people if he's a leader.

• 51:03Speaker 00

  That had such huge Jeb Bush, please clap, energy that it sent a juice chill up my spine.

• 51:09Travis McElroy?

  I was trying to go for a joke about being a leader who needed to be told he was a leader and it seemed desperate, so maybe that tells me a lot about myself, actually.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  Does that answer the question?

• 51:17Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, last question. If you were a scent. A scent?

• 51:21Speaker 00

  These fucking images, Paul, are absolutely out of sight.

• 51:25Travis McElroy?

  If you want a scent, how would you? This is just my desktop screensavers, man. They'll give him a hard time. If you were a scent. Is that the evil planet from Fifth Element? This is just from Dune. It's a poster from Dune. Listen, if you were a scent, Griffin, how would you want people to feel when they smelled you? Turned on?

• 51:45Speaker 00

  Read more options, please, Richard, fuck.

• 51:48Travis McElroy?

  Why do you need more options than turned on? Warm and fuzzy, at business, getting fired, at a funeral? What do you mean, turned on, right? Perfect.

• 52:01Travis McElroy?

  You gotta wait for the test to complete the calculation.

• 52:04Speaker 00

  Hold on, how, how intense is the processing power of the Wi?

• 52:08Travis McElroy?

  It's gotta go, I guess it's, it's doing an ad, actually. I think you have to push the arrow. I can't push the arrow, it'll open the ad, I'm sore of it, man. Nope. Wait, yeah, I'll push the arrow. Nope. Griffin, you're the one that knows about this. Come on, fix it. This is actively stealing all your data. No, man, no, don't go backwards, we've already come so far. No, it's the ad again, Griffin, come on. There it is, you're amber. Amber is the color of the energy.

• 52:40Travis McElroy?

  You're amber, that's sandalwood. I'm Richard Stink. Thank you so much for your time, I appreciate it.

• 52:50Griffin McElroy?

  Richard, if you don't mind sticking around, I'd love to do some live audience questions, and we actually do have one for Richard. If we could get Tim H. Hey, you had a question for Richard Stink, as fate would have it, he's here.

• 53:01Travis McElroy?

  Excellent.

• 53:04Travis McElroy?

  Yes, I followed Richard's advice earlier, and my wife's biggest fandom is for Antonio Banderas. And so I learned that there was Antonio Banderas fragrance, and I bought it for her for Christmas, even though it was for me, so that I would be the gift. But I'm not sure that it is-

• 53:27Griffin McElroy?

  You felt great saying that sentence out loud, didn't you? I could tell.

• 53:30Travis McElroy?

  Go ahead.

• 53:31Griffin McElroy?

  So that I may become the vessel of Antonio Banderas and be the gift.

• 53:37Travis McElroy?

  But I'm not sure it's strong enough or potent enough. I was wondering if you knew of any other celebrity-oriented fragrances that might be even more effective. What is, what is, what is your name? Tim. Tim? Is Tim?

• 53:54Griffin McElroy?

  Tim, I'm so sorry. Tim, we've never done this before. No one's asked Richard a question at a live podcast before.

• 54:00Travis McElroy?

  Is Tim?

• 54:01Griffin McElroy?

  He'll say some stuff that's probably a little rude.

• 54:03Travis McElroy?

  Okay, listen, Tim, I listened. I've smelled Antonio Banderas' entire line. Every single one of them is strong enough for a Tim, okay? Trust me, man. Trust me, it's not, trust me. You, this is spray number, you gotta use the patented Richard Stink 13 spray technique.

• 54:23Griffin McElroy?

  Wow.

• 54:24Travis McElroy?

  Three on the wrist, three on the wrist, six on the legs, if you insist.

• 54:30Travis McElroy?

  That's only 12, Richard. Where does the 13th go? This is the puzzle you must solve with my answering my riddles in the new Dan Brown novel. So, Tim, just spray-

• 54:45Griffin McElroy?

  Does that help a question?

• 54:46Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Tim, since your wife is in the Anton and Fanderas fandom, is there an internal struggle between whether it's the Fantonios or the Fanderases?

• 54:56Griffin McElroy?

  Is there a ruling on that? Though I must be here for this. You don't, Richard. Thank you. You can actually go, "Thank you so much, Richard." "Thank you so much, Richard Stink." "Thank you so much, Tim." Man, you guys aren't gonna believe this, but I see Richard Stink just offstage getting fully nude.

• 55:13Travis McElroy?

  And it's a lot of, like I say, a moon-type transition, which is amazing.

• 55:18Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, that's so weird. Hey, Juice, you're back. Hey, welcome.

• 55:24Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, we're just doing the show, man.

• 55:25Travis McElroy?

  What were you doing?

• 55:27Speaker 00

  Griffin gave me his food poisoning.

• 55:29Griffin McElroy?

  It's true.

• 55:30Travis McElroy?

  Ah, communicable food poisoning is the worst.

• 55:33Griffin McElroy?

  Hello.

• 55:33Speaker 04

  Hey, you guys helped me get rid of 10,000 orbies last year for my school dance.

• 55:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 55:39Travis McElroy?

  Can you get right up on the microphone there for me?

• 55:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, and you're gonna have to be more specific. We make a lot of orbies disappear on this show.

• 55:47Travis McElroy?

  We're, uh, three men with a very particular set of skills.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  That's great. Uh, they had me help with decorating the school dance last year, but the orbies just wouldn't go away.

• 55:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 55:58Speaker 04

  Uh, so we ended up giving them to Pennywise, per your suggestion.

• 56:01Griffin McElroy?

  Good. Yeah, that'll do it every time. And Pennywise liked that.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  He loved it, because then it took away all the water and he could have more guests.

• 56:07Griffin McElroy?

  So it took, sorry, in this fiction, and this may have been jokes we made a year, I forget jokes I make about two weeks after I make them.

• 56:15Travis McElroy?

  I don't remember act one of this show.

• 56:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so I don't remember saying, "Give Pennywise all the orbies so it sucks up the water so he has more room for kids."

• 56:23Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:25Griffin McElroy?

  But that does.

• 56:25Travis McElroy?

  Wait, is that a thing we talked about? Because that'd be wild if Pennywise was like, "I'd love to have more kids down here." "Dang, if I could find their room."

• 56:32Griffin McElroy?

  It's so wet in the sewers. Um, so Bonnie, uh, is it just checking in to let us know that we kicked ass?

• 56:40Speaker 04

  Um, partially, but also they've asked me to decorate for the dance again this year.

• 56:44Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 56:44Speaker 04

  Um, so avoid orbies, but the theme is capes and crowns, and I just wanna know where you guys would go with that.

• 56:49Griffin McElroy?

  Capes, capes, capes and crowns. I was gonna say, if it's cakes and crowns, I know what to do with 10,000 cakes, and that's give 'em to me.

• 56:58Travis McElroy?

  Tell them that you're going to need 500 real diamonds. And then, you're gonna stage a heist.

• 57:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 57:04Travis McElroy?

  The greatest heist that school has ever seen.

• 57:07Griffin McElroy?

  You work at Richie Rich's elementary school, right? Because they can afford 500 diamonds in this accoun- no, shoot.

• 57:14Travis McElroy?

  You should make it capes or crowns. Where you get a bunch of crowns and a bunch of superhero capes, and they do not connect at all.

• 57:23Griffin McElroy?

  What is the theme? Is it capes, like...

• 57:25Speaker 04

  Like superhero capes, but then like princess crowns.

• 57:28Travis McElroy?

  I was right? Get the fuck out. My thing was a dumb joke, Bonnie.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  Basically because they said that a lot of the superheroes and princesses have the same like color palette of like, blue, red, and yellow.

• 57:42Griffin McElroy?

  Oh Bonnie, that's nothing.

• 57:44Travis McElroy?

  Were they trying to come up with a theme the same way we come up with a year theme?

• 57:49Griffin McElroy?

  It's hard. It's really hard. We respect that, for sure.

• 57:52Speaker 04

  I'm like, I don't really know what they want me to do.

• 57:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, with capes and crowns, okay.

• 57:57Travis McElroy?

  Can the capes come off of the crowns? So it's one piece.

• 58:01Speaker 04

  What if they're attached to the crowns like medieval style?

• 58:04Griffin McElroy?

  If they're attached to the crowns medieval style, that's going to be a tripping hazard for these clumsy elementary school students. Why is your elementary school having a dance? I guess is my first question. They don't know what they're doing.

• 58:17Speaker 04

  It's an attendance incentive. So if they've had a certain amount of attendance, they get a ticket to go to the dance.

• 58:21Griffin McElroy?

  They get to come to school at night?

• 58:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:24Griffin McElroy?

  Kick-ass incentive.

• 58:25Travis McElroy?

  That's so funny because it feels like if it was middle school, they wouldn't have to come as a reward. You attended so much, you don't have to be here, Travis.

• 58:34Griffin McElroy?

  Capes and crowns. Capes and crowns. Is there a superhero that wears a crown, other than Jesus Christ?

• 58:42Travis McElroy?

  Was that you explaining about how funny this is? Or was that you thinking of your favorite superheroes from the Bible? Because I also don't remember Jesus wearing a cape.

• 58:53Griffin McElroy?

  I think that's...

• 58:54Travis McElroy?

  I'll raise that man from the dead! Let me use my zapping raise! Does that help? No, wait, I'm not done! Okay. Oh wow! Okay, good news!

• 59:06Griffin McElroy?

  What do you got so far? Can you give us what you've got so far to kind of like launch?

• 59:10Travis McElroy?

  Sounds like you're done.

• 59:11Speaker 04

  Last week, they told me what the theme was and told me what the colors were.

• 59:15Travis McElroy?

  What are the colors? Wait, Bonnie, what are the colors?

• 59:17Griffin McElroy?

  Red and blue, right?

• 59:18Speaker 04

  Did I tell you the dance is like May 5th?

• 59:21Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, so it's quite soon.

• 59:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:22Travis McElroy?

  Well, we got a month. What are the colors?

• 59:25Speaker 04

  The red, blue, and yellow.

• 59:27Griffin McElroy?

  Red, blue.

• 59:27Travis McElroy?

  All right, so Superman.

• 59:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, thank you, Travis. I think that was probably the initiating kind of...

• 59:33Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Griffin, I'm doing my goddamn best.

• 59:36Griffin McElroy?

  What is, what does that, those three colors have to do with crowns, though? I guess is my question.

• 59:41Speaker 04

  I guess just like Snow White and like Belle have some blue and red and yellow.

• 59:46Griffin McElroy?

  I hate to do this, but it kind of seems like, can you make a competitive dance theme? Where it's capes versus crowns?

• 59:53Travis McElroy?

  Yes. Or a Squid Games theme. Everyone gets a cape, but there's one crown.

• 1:00:01Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool. Elementary schoolers, for some reason, can't get enough of Squid Games.

• 1:00:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:07Travis McElroy?

  It's Mr. Beast, isn't it?

• 1:00:09Griffin McElroy?

  It's Mr. Fucking Beast.

• 1:00:11Travis McElroy?

  They love that guy because they love Mr.'s and authority figures who can't design games. Can you do a Mr. Beast themed thing?

• 1:00:20Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah, is it too late to switch to Mr. Beast? Capes and crowns and Mr. Beast.

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  I would. I would. I don't know if the PTO committee would go for...

• 1:00:29Travis McElroy?

  They don't have to know.

• 1:00:30Griffin McElroy?

  Give them my number.

• 1:00:31Speaker 04

  They're the money.

• 1:00:33Griffin McElroy?

  I'll, I'll straighten them out. No problem. That's one of the many services we offer this podcast. We explain to out-of-touch school superintendents who Mr. Beast is.

• 1:00:43Travis McElroy?

  And why it's funny to do it now in 2025 and not any time a decade ago.

• 1:00:49Griffin McElroy?

  Does that help, Bonnie?

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  It does help.

• 1:00:50Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  Thank you very much.

• 1:00:51Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks for checking in. Hello. Approach, please. Hello.

• 1:00:56Speaker 05

  Hi, um, this is Marissa with the dentist.

• 1:00:58Griffin McElroy?

  Hi, Marissa with the dentist. Very excited for your question.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  Yes, so I-

• 1:01:03Griffin McElroy?

  Can you angle the microphone up just a little bit so we can hear you very- thank you so much.

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 1:01:06Travis McElroy?

  Hello?

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, so I chat with my dentist a lot and our conversation had kinda come to a lull. And we're comfortable, so I said, "Have you ever been bit before by like a client?" And he said, "No."

• 1:01:18Travis McElroy?

  Wait, did you say in the question, "By a client," or just in general?

• 1:01:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm glad, I'm glad, if you said like-

• 1:01:23Travis McElroy?

  This is actually, don't answer with a joke. I need you to tell us the 100% truth to the nearest of your recollection.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  I said, "Have you been bit by an adult before?"

• 1:01:32Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, Marissa!

• 1:01:33Travis McElroy?

  Hey, that's actually the worst.

• 1:01:38Travis McElroy?

  The worst, okay? Is your question, "How do I find a new dentist?" Cause my last dentist was like, "You have to go." How do I find a new town to live in? That's actually on a list I have printed up of things you have to go if you say to the dentist.

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  But I like him. He cleans my teeth good.

• 1:01:54Travis McElroy?

  Have you ever been bitten by an adult?

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  Yes, and then he's, um, he says, "No, I haven't," and gets back to, puts his hands in my mouth. And, um, he says, "Put pressure," so I kinda bite down a little. I thought maybe he was putting in the x-ray thing. And then he says again, "No, put pressure," so I thought, "Oh, okay," and I like, "Huh." And, um, he goes, "Ow!" And I realized that that was his thumb and not plastic.

• 1:02:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  And he was telling me that he was going to be putting pressure on my tooth.

• 1:02:24Travis McElroy?

  Oh, well, you said it in a pretty crazy way. I think we can all agree. Marissa, I was ready to judge the shit out of you, let's be honest. But after you asked, "Have you ever been bit by an adult before?" And then your dentist stuck their thumb in your mouth?

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  There was no delay. I asked him that, he said, "No, I bit him."

• 1:02:43Travis McElroy?

  Every mistake, every mistake after the first mistake you made of asking the question is on your dentist. But the scale of the initial mistake cannot be overstated.

• 1:02:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yes. Because it adds a sort of premeditated element to the-

• 1:02:57Travis McElroy?

  It does, because there's an implied, because you're gonna- Not a premeditated so much as a trailer for the crime?

• 1:03:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:06Travis McElroy?

  It was like, you know how when they have the trailer before the trailer and you're like, "Fuck, we're doomed, huh?" Anyway, um, it's like a short trailer before the trailer if you don't have the attention span to watch a two-minute fucking trailer?

• 1:03:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, go off, King.

• 1:03:20Travis McElroy?

  Don't worry, Batman's in it. I know Batman's on the first five seconds, he's in it later. So Marissa, what's your question? Yeah, what's the question? Not a new dentist, though.

• 1:03:29Speaker 04

  I, no, because I like him, we get along, but he, there was no goodbye after that. It was like, I gotta go see another patient. He laughed, he said he believed me when I said, please, please, I promise I didn't ask you if anyone has bit you to then bite you.

• 1:03:41Travis McElroy?

  Were you in biting range when he was like, I believe you? Were you chomping like the big ball on a chain in Mario?

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  I was, uh, no. But I, I guess I want to know how to start our next appointment to get him to further believe me.

• 1:03:57Travis McElroy?

  Have you ever been bitten twice by an adult?

• 1:04:01Travis McElroy?

  Have you ever been bitten by an adult? Don't answer. I know. I was gonna say, he won't remember, but he'll definitely remember. Definitely, definitely remember, probably thinking about it now. Does he like podcasts?

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  Um, he likes movies. Oh, so I'd say, listen to this. No, that I'm sorry.

• 1:04:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Sorry, we only did the one movie and I don't know that it's germane to the, to the bit. But hey, dentists, if you're listening, get out. Get out of there. You're not safe. She knew the whole time, I could see it on her face.

• 1:04:38Travis McElroy?

  Uh, there's lots of great dentists in the area, I assume. Uh, if everybody could just shout out your dentist's name real quick. Thank you so much, very helpful. I heard Jesus in there. Unpossible, does that help?

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Very much so, thank you guys so much.

• 1:04:51Travis McElroy?

  Thank you so much, Marissa, for your courage.

• 1:04:57Travis McElroy?

  Hello.

• 1:04:58Speaker 04

  Hi. Hey, how's it going? Good, how are you?

• 1:05:00Travis McElroy?

  Good.

• 1:05:01Speaker 04

  Good, you having a good day? I'm having a splendid day.

• 1:05:04Travis McElroy?

  Wonderful. Who are you?

• 1:05:07Speaker 04

  My name's Jessie.

• 1:05:08Travis McElroy?

  Hi Jessie.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  So I am ethically non-monogamous.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  And so, I happen to have two boyfriends.

• 1:05:19Travis McElroy?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  Who live both within an hour of me, but in different directions.

• 1:05:24Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:05:24Speaker 04

  And they have the same.

• 1:05:26Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Okay, wait, so is it two hours from each other? Or are we in?

• 1:05:31Speaker 04

  I mean, estimated.

• 1:05:32Travis McElroy?

  If math class had been about figuring out problems like that, I probably would have paid attention a little bit better. Like, gotta drive to your first boyfriend's house in this direction, X amount of miles. Okay, so, so ahead, your question, though, what is the question?

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, so they both have the same birthday.

• 1:05:44Travis McElroy?

  Is that how you pick them?

• 1:05:48Speaker 04

  Unfortunately, no. That would make my life a lot harder. So my question is, how do I celebrate both of my boyfriends who both have birthdays on the same day?

• 1:06:01Travis McElroy?

  Well, I'll tell you, this is great because two of us have the same birthday. So let's ask the odd one out, Griffin. How do you make Justin and I feel individually special on our shared birthday? This is a very, very, very, very, very similar question. Because we're kind of like- Your context will be invaluable because the situation is basically indistinguishable.

• 1:06:30Griffin McElroy?

  I'm ethically brothers with you guys.

• 1:06:33Travis McElroy?

  Ethically bronogamous.

• 1:06:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, I call you guys separately. I don't get you on one Zoom, which I think is pretty chill. Which is pretty chill of me.

• 1:06:48Travis McElroy?

  We should start comparing notes to see if he's got like a new bit that he's using. And how long did he talk to you? I got him for 33 seconds. I only got just him. You brought his whole family, huh? Wow. Huh, wow.

• 1:07:01Griffin McElroy?

  Forgive my ignorance-

• 1:07:02Travis McElroy?

  He did it right at bedtime, so you could tell he couldn't remember until the end.

• 1:07:06Griffin McElroy?

  Forgive my ignorance on the topic. Do your boyfriends know each other? Is it a, I don't know, a triangular situation? I know we're stuck on geometry up here, but is it a, you couldn't throw, could you throw a group bash at BW3s? Or is it not that kind of situation?

• 1:07:26Travis McElroy?

  I think what Griffin is saying is, do your boyfriends get along better with each other than they do with you?

• 1:07:30Griffin McElroy?

  That's not what I'm saying even a little bit at all. That's not what I'm saying, even a little bit at all.

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  That would make, again, that would make my life easier if they did, but they, they know of each other? They don't, they haven't, they haven't met? Nor do they know that the other one has the same birthday?

• 1:07:47Griffin McElroy?

  Because I was gonna say, you know, go to Chuck E. Cheese and, you know, fucking give them both 20 Tokens and just like kick it.

• 1:07:55Travis McElroy?

  That's a good one. Do you have any friends that have twin kids that you could be like, what do you do?

• 1:08:04Travis McElroy?

  Unfortunately not.

• 1:08:06Griffin McElroy?

  My wife and youngest son's birthdays is one day apart, which is even less relevant than Justin and Travis's thing.

• 1:08:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I was trying to set it up.

• 1:08:15Griffin McElroy?

  Right now. That's easy, though, because of the pretty sizable age discrepancy between the two of them. They're not really interested in the same birthday stuff.

• 1:08:26Travis McElroy?

  You don't know. If you ask Rachel if she likes like putt putt and like arcades and shit.

• 1:08:30Griffin McElroy?

  What was the second thing you said?

• 1:08:32Travis McElroy?

  Putt putt and arcades and shit.

• 1:08:34Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, you're describing a Griffin birthday pretty good and not a Rachel birthday.

• 1:08:41Travis McElroy?

  Do you have maybe one of your boyfriends likes the daytime more and one likes the nighttime? Where you could be like, oh, it's noon. I'm gonna spend 6 a.m. to noon and noon to 6 p.m. I could probably do that. They fall on Friday the 13th, so I feel like I could do. Not every year. Hey, Jesse, I don't want to tell you. Calendars work. Not every year. This year.

• 1:09:04Griffin McElroy?

  This year, though. Oh, that's gonna be a really.

• 1:09:08Travis McElroy?

  So that's the witching hour, right? Because it's 11 to midnight, midnight to 1. You do good 11 to midnight, bad midnight to 1. So which of your boyfriends is evil?

• 1:09:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, which is the most evil one? Griffin uses that for me and Travis, too. He has to figure that out every year.

• 1:09:23Travis McElroy?

  You guys know.

• 1:09:24Griffin McElroy?

  You all know the breakdown.

• 1:09:26Travis McElroy?

  Does that help, Jesse? It does.

• 1:09:29Griffin McElroy?

  When is the, is the birthday soon?

• 1:09:31Travis McElroy?

  It's in June. Oh. So I have time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which of your boyfriends do you like better?

• 1:09:37Travis McElroy?

  No, uh-uh.

• 1:09:38Griffin McElroy?

  That's probably not.

• 1:09:39Travis McElroy?

  They're never gonna listen, Jesse.

• 1:09:42Griffin McElroy?

  Could you take a break just to cut?

• 1:09:43Travis McElroy?

  Is one of them here?

• 1:09:44Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Oh, no, no, no. Never mind. Never mind. Forget it.

• 1:09:47Travis McElroy?

  Just one. Just one's here. Just one.

• 1:09:49Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I know which one's gonna have a better birthday.

• 1:09:51Travis McElroy?

  One, absolutely.

• 1:09:53Griffin McElroy?

  I know which one's better. This is easy.

• 1:09:55Travis McElroy?

  Not gonna hear it, Jesse. It's easy. To be fair. I'm assuming they're a listener who just couldn't make it, Griffin. Is Jesse's other boyfriend like down here somewhere like? Aw, man. I didn't know you liked this podcast. And also, I have other questions. That is the fifth drink you've spilled tonight, Justin. What do you want? What do you want? Paul's just coming out. This is a full bath towel. Let's hear for Jesse. Jesse, thank you so much. Thank you.

• 1:10:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, hello.

• 1:10:26Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 1:10:26Griffin McElroy?

  Hi.

• 1:10:27Speaker 04

  Hi, I'm Eva, and I sent in the question about my band.

• 1:10:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, please.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I have a band here locally, and we have a show. Hi.

• 1:10:37Griffin McElroy?

  Do you want to say the name of the local people?

• 1:10:38Speaker 04

  Sure, yeah. It's called The Kyles. We've only been around for like a year, so you might not have heard of us.

• 1:10:43Travis McElroy?

  What's it called?

• 1:10:44Griffin McElroy?

  The Kyles?

• 1:10:44Speaker 04

  The Kyles.

• 1:10:45Griffin McElroy?

  The Kyles, a very good name.

• 1:10:46Speaker 04

  We do have a band member named Kyle.

• 1:10:48Griffin McElroy?

  Perfect.

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  He did not like that name, but it's fine.

• 1:10:51Travis McElroy?

  Can you change it to Kyle and the Kyles? That's not what the question was, but now I'm in it. You have one band member named Kyle.

• 1:10:57Speaker 04

  I do, yes.

• 1:10:58Travis McElroy?

  And he did not like the name The Kyles.

• 1:11:01Speaker 04

  He didn't.

• 1:11:02Griffin McElroy?

  That's a shame, because it's a fucking good name for a band.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  I know, that's why we kind of overruled that situation.

• 1:11:07Travis McElroy?

  No, independent of that.

• 1:11:09Speaker 04

  So basically, we had our first show at my house. We did a house show, and I was like...

• 1:11:14Travis McElroy?

  Was the booking hard?

• 1:11:15Speaker 04

  It was really, it was so difficult. No, so we, I created a little box. We were having a really hard time coming up with a name.

• 1:11:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  So I made a little box out of paper and just had everybody that came to the house show like put suggestions in there.

• 1:11:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  And some of Kyle's friends decided to write Kyle, Kyle and the Kyles, the Kyle, like on a bunch of sheets of paper and just shove it all in the box.

• 1:11:36Griffin McElroy?

  Kylo Kylie.

• 1:11:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. And there, it was just, you know, we struggled for a while, and after a while, we were like, actually, that's a really good band name. So you know what? We're just gonna take their suggestions. So that's how the band came around.

• 1:11:48Travis McElroy?

  So how can we help?

• 1:11:49Speaker 04

  But we have a show on 4/20.

• 1:11:51Griffin McElroy?

  Nice.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  Which is also Easter this year.

• 1:11:54Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 1:11:55Speaker 04

  Yes, it is.

• 1:11:55Griffin McElroy?

  Easter, or as you put it in your email, Jesus's Big Day.

• 1:11:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yes.

• 1:12:01Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, thanks for reminding us the Easter thing.

• 1:12:03Speaker 04

  I did, yeah.

• 1:12:04Griffin McElroy?

  I love, Eva, that in your mind, Easter is Jesus's Big Day.

• 1:12:10Travis McElroy?

  That dude was so fucking psyched.

• 1:12:13Speaker 04

  I'm sorry.

• 1:12:14Travis McElroy?

  Not what... This is it, he said, "Woo!"

• 1:12:16Griffin McElroy?

  Is it Easter already?

• 1:12:17Travis McElroy?

  Hey, listen, listen, listen, listen. If I had done something even half that cool, I'd be celebrating every year. You better believe it. Yeah, I remember. Hey, guys, remember, this reminds me of another similar Easter where I died for you. But every year, the people in Punxsutawney get together around Jesus's grave to wait for him to come back and tell them if there's six more years of salvation.

• 1:12:40Griffin McElroy?

  Do you have a show on Jesus's Big Day, which is 4/20?

• 1:12:43Speaker 04

  I do, yes. And I, the, the place where we're doing the show, The Camel, has asked us,

• 1:12:51Speaker 04

  has asked us to send them a promotional video, or a music video, or something, so that they can, like, promote the show.

• 1:12:58Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:12:58Speaker 04

  And we're very new, so we don't have a lot of promotional content. So we were in our group chat trying to figure out what to do, and I was wondering if you guys had any advice on what we should do as a promotional video for the show.

• 1:13:08Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so right off the bat, did they say it needs to be you playing music? Because that's important to all my ideas.

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  They suggested that, but they didn't say that it was required.

• 1:13:17Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so let me give you this starter phrase that I use in a lot of videos that I do. "Oh, hello, didn't see you come in there." And then you can, and have it be Kyle, going like, "These are the Kyles."

• 1:13:31Griffin McElroy?

  How is Kyle as a sort of, like, face?

• 1:13:35Speaker 04

  It's good, good, yeah. I think we're all pretty...

• 1:13:37Travis McElroy?

  "We're the Kyles, and I'm Kyle, no relation," is a powerful start.

• 1:13:41Griffin McElroy?

  "I'm Kyle, and I don't like that the band is called The Kyles."

• 1:13:46Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  Just coming aggressive, okay.

• 1:13:47Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, this is pretty good. Do you have your phone on you?

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:13:50Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:13:51Speaker 05

  Sit on my seat, I'm sorry.

• 1:13:51Travis McElroy?

  Well, fuck. Oh dang. Fuck, shit. Do you have anyone here who can film?

• 1:13:55Speaker 05

  My sister.

• 1:13:56Travis McElroy?

  Okay, sister, can you, would you mind starting a video, okay? This is gonna be really good, trust me.

• 1:14:00Speaker 05

  She's been filming this whole time.

• 1:14:01Travis McElroy?

  Alright.

• 1:14:01Speaker 05

  I can tell.

• 1:14:01Travis McElroy?

  You've been filming the whole time, this is perfect, okay? So the video will start here. So what I need you to do is be like, hey brothers, I'm trying to find a new local band to get into. And then we're gonna be like, I don't know, we're not from the area. What do you all think? And then everybody says, "The Kyles." Include all of this, by the way. Yeah, no, no, no, you gotta cut this. Oh shit, okay, sorry, I misread it, I misread it. Okay? And they won't know who we are, obviously.

• 1:14:23Griffin McElroy?

  But then, and then when the people at the venue are like...

• 1:14:25Travis McElroy?

  So maybe we should start with, "I'm looking for a podcast to get into," and then everybody else, "My brother, my brother and me."

• 1:14:30Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so, so we're gonna explain who we are first and why it matters.

• 1:14:33Travis McElroy?

  What names do you wanna use for the video? Cause you can't tell you're in the band. Try Steva.

• 1:14:38Speaker 05

  Oh, the band name?

• 1:14:39Griffin McElroy?

  You can't say Eva.

• 1:14:40Travis McElroy?

  Cause you have a new name. So say Steva.

• 1:14:42Speaker 05

  Oh, I can't say Eva, so I'll say Steva?

• 1:14:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it doesn't have to be...

• 1:14:46Griffin McElroy?

  Steva's nothing.

• 1:14:47Speaker 05

  Steve, I could say Steve instead.

• 1:14:49Griffin McElroy?

  That's great, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay. So everyone, shut the...

• 1:14:51Travis McElroy?

  Oh, say Stevo, cause that has star power too.

• 1:14:54Griffin McElroy?

  Don't say Stevo, just...

• 1:14:55Travis McElroy?

  So the video will start here. Welcome back to My Brother, My Brother and Me, America's favorite podcast.

• 1:15:01Speaker 00

  We're famous and you should care about what we say.

• 1:15:04Travis McElroy?

  We're bigger and more influential than Joe Rogan.

• 1:15:06Speaker 00

  We got a big...

• 1:15:07Travis McElroy?

  Stop! Sorry. Stop the video. That can't be in it. That can't be in it. Sorry, I misread, I misread the vibe. That's not in it, that's not in the video. I panicked, I panicked.

• 1:15:16Griffin McElroy?

  Eva's sister, Eva's sister, start it over.

• 1:15:19Travis McElroy?

  I panicked, I panicked, sorry. Start it, start it again. Start it again. Welcome back to the Joe Rogan podcast. Stop, Eva, stop. Sorry. I was just trying to get to Travis's good idea faster.

• 1:15:29Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:15:31Travis McElroy?

  Welcome back to My Brother, My Brother and Me. This week we're joined by, what was your name again?

• 1:15:35Speaker 05

  Hey, my name is Steve.

• 1:15:36Travis McElroy?

  Hey Steve, how can we help?

• 1:15:38Speaker 05

  Guys, brothers, I have been looking for a new local band to get into. Do you have any suggestions?

• 1:15:42Travis McElroy?

  Hey everybody, what's your favorite local band?

• 1:15:45Speaker 00

  The Kyles!

• 1:15:48Travis McElroy?

  Excellent.

• 1:15:49Speaker 05

  Thank you!

• 1:15:50Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, yeah, right there, perfect. And what's your second favorite local band?

• 1:15:55Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, no, don't, that doesn't...

• 1:15:56Speaker 05

  How did you find that?

• 1:15:57Travis McElroy?

  Don't mess up the whole video, does that...

• 1:15:58Griffin McElroy?

  It's fucking Paul, Paul can find anything, does that help? Does that help? Alright, yeah!

• 1:16:01Speaker 05

  Thank you!

• 1:16:04Travis McElroy?

  I can't believe we actually helped.

• 1:16:06Griffin McElroy?

  That felt...

• 1:16:07Travis McElroy?

  Is this what it feels like?

• 1:16:08Griffin McElroy?

  I think so.

• 1:16:09Travis McElroy?

  I have two children and that's the greatest thing I've ever done. Wow.

• 1:16:12Griffin McElroy?

  I think that's it. If we can, uh...

• 1:16:13Travis McElroy?

  Can we all turn the lights off? Would that be a possibility? Take them away, Paul. Make them go away? Thank you so much, Richmond. You are always such a hit.

• 1:16:19Griffin McElroy?

  Y'all, Richmond, you all have been absolutely amazing.

• 1:16:21Travis McElroy?

  What a treat this has been. I wanna hear it. What a pleasure. Let's get a big shout out for this beautiful old theater Carpenter is...

• 1:16:29Griffin McElroy?

  It's gorgeous.

• 1:16:30Travis McElroy?

  Look at the clouds!

• 1:16:31Griffin McElroy?

  The clouds are amazing.

• 1:16:32Travis McElroy?

  They're in your clouds, you guys!

• 1:16:33Griffin McElroy?

  It feels like we're performing outside.

• 1:16:34Travis McElroy?

  And not only is it a beautiful old theater, we can also call it the Dominion Energy Center.

• 1:16:40Griffin McElroy?

  Which feels kick-ass.

• 1:16:41Travis McElroy?

  Which feels like a thing you build in Warcraft 2099 or something.

• 1:16:46Speaker 00

  He's ruled over the Energy Dominion for many years now.

• 1:16:49Griffin McElroy?

  I wanna say thank you to Anna Road, who designed our kick-ass poster. Uh, there may still be some out there.

• 1:16:55Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, this is peak you. I adore it so much.

• 1:16:59Griffin McElroy?

  I know, I love it. I signed some of them and it's great 'cause it looks like I'm magically casting my signature out into the galaxy.

• 1:17:06Travis McElroy?

  It also looks like you've just realized you're in the vacuum of space and about to explode.

• 1:17:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yes. Uh, we also have some honorary Paul Subor Memorial Can Food Drive Challenge Coins. Uh, all proceeds from that go to Feed More. Uh, thank you all so much. Thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, "My Life Is Better With You." Uh, a kick-ass track. Thanks to our dad. Thanks to Paul. Thank you to Amanda. Thank you to our editor Rachel. Uh, thank you to McKay, uh, our merch...

• 1:17:39Travis McElroy?

  Who did this design right there?

• 1:17:41Griffin McElroy?

  Did this kick-ass 20 Thunder Drive design.

• 1:17:43Travis McElroy?

  Thanks McKay.

• 1:17:45Griffin McElroy?

  And thank you all, Richmond. It's genuinely, you all are amazing and we're so happy to be back here and we'll be back again.

• 1:17:51Travis McElroy?

  And hey,

• 1:17:53Travis McElroy?

  Griffin did not have to run offstage to use the bathroom once during the show. Big round of applause.

• 1:18:01Travis McElroy?

  That's a champion right there. Hey, I... As long as we're cheering, I didn't either.

• 1:18:08Travis McElroy?

  I didn't run offstage to go to the bathroom. Hey Griffin, as a special treat, do you want to read the last-

• 1:18:14Griffin McElroy?

  I'll read the fear that someone in the audience is going to be faster than this year. This year, "I will be faster than my fear of getting lost and freezing on Mount Everest because it's really far away from me and I don't even want to go there anyway."

• 1:18:29Travis McElroy?

  My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. My brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad square on the lips.