Andy Samberg

Actor, comedian and writer Andy Samberg feels aces about being on Conan O’Brien’s friend. Andy sits down with Conan to discuss leading the cutting edge of YouTube comedy with The Lonely Island, the feel-good production of Brooklyn 99, following in the footsteps of Steve Martin and Adam Sandler, and employing a particularly favorite celebrity impression on the animated series Digman! For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  The holidays are supposed to be about making memories, not managing the mess that comes with them. Between winter weather, road trips, shopping and family gatherings, your vehicle can take a beating. Mine sure does. Same. Especially when I'm back in the Northeast, driving around. I mean, I grew up with that. Yeah. Cars were red, the salt on the road, people throwing rocks at me. Whaaat? That's not a weather thing. That's more of a me being, making people angry. Yeah. WeatherTech helps protect your vehicle from snow, slush, salt and seasonal messes. They also make the best gifts for automobile protection, from floor liners and cargo liner to side window deflectors, even gift cards. Great for today and to prevent future messes. Everything is built to last, easy to clean and designed for harsh winter conditions, okay?

• 0:47Conan O'Brien?

  I grew up with this. Yeah. And the salt would eat away the car. We actually did have a Chevy, my dad had a Chevy Impala, and the floor rusted out and you could see the road going by. Ohhh. Boy, we were praying for WeatherTech and we didn't even know it. That was before it existed. That's cool. So get a gift today at weathertech.com.

• 1:09Conan O'Brien?

  Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype? Yeah, like all the time. Yeah. I did that with an all potato restaurant. Oh no.

• 1:21Conan O'Brien?

  Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Sean? Oh yeah, all the time. Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that: bull spend. Bull spend. Yeah. Instead, you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Mm-hmm. Cut the bull spend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com/Conan. Terms apply.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Hi, my name is Andy Samberg and I feel

• 2:00Speaker 01

  aces about being on Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 2:05Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  I messed it up.

• 2:07Conan O'Brien?

  You total slacker. It's your whole generation.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:10Conan O'Brien?

  Look at you with your skateboarding when you were a kid. Berkeley, California. Yeah, lay into me. Right? Ah, dig me out.

• 2:41Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I am joined by Sona Movsesian, Matt Gourley. Hi. My whack pack, as it were. Oh, man. We should do the traffic in the morning and do a lot of sound effects. We've done that a couple of times. Sorry. Oh, no. We can do it again. No. I just hate when I'm reminded that it's too much. Yeah. We've had too much life. That, I think there's- That's a terrible thing to say. That's wrong. I take that back. I want much more. Nope, you said it. You said it. Damn it. I noted it down. Uh, let's call it. I'm picturing Zeus on a cloud saying, "You said it!" I throw a thunderbolt at you now. I think the whack pack is revisitable, though. Yeah. If you want to do it again. That's quite a word, revisitable.

• 3:22Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, we just hit a landmark, which is, uh, yesterday, Sona had a birthday party- Yeah. For her two children. Yeah. They're twins, and Mikey and Charlie, and this is always a moment for me because they were born immediately after our last- Yeah. Late night show ever on TBS. We did it at the old, uh, the theater, the- The Largo. The Largo Theater. And, uh, I remember saying farewell on the last late night show, leaving, uh, there was a little rap party, but it was this 28-year run, and then leaving, and I flew back east, and when I'm, I think I landed, and I think the next day or something, you called me- Yeah.

• 4:07Conan O'Brien?

  And said that, uh, I used to call them rub and tug when they were in utero, and you said, "Rub and tug have arrived."

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:14Conan O'Brien?

  And um, that is now four years.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  It's been four years.

• 4:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's unbelievable.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, and we, you know, we have a lot of family. We have a lot of people in our lives and we have a birthday party for them every year and they, the first thing Tac did is he found-

• 4:30Conan O'Brien?

  Tac, I just wanna-

• 4:31Speaker 02

  My husband.

• 4:32Conan O'Brien?

  Your husband, Tac, yes.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  He found a clown and he has hired that clown every single year we've had a birthday. His name is Gilly the Clown and he's awesome.

• 4:40Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, what makes a good party clown, seriously?

• 4:44Speaker 02

  First of all, to get the attention of all these kids and then to hold the attention is hard.

• 4:50Conan O'Brien?

  How many kids would you say?

• 4:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yesterday we invited their class too. I would say there were like thirty, thirty-five kids.

• 4:57Conan O'Brien?

  And what is it that Gilly does that's so great? And by the way, a shout out to Gilly the Clown.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:02Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, where does he, what area does he cover?

• 5:04Speaker 02

  He's a Los Angeles clown. I think his company is called the Los Angeles Clown Company and I think-

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Don't.

• 5:12Conan O'Brien?

  Formerly William Morris Endeavor.

• 5:16Conan O'Brien?

  Sorry guys, I had to do it.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Oh my god. I think-

• 5:22Conan O'Brien?

  Sorry. Oh, that made me happy.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  I think Tac is like kinda living vicariously through the boys, cuz I don't think they had clowns in the Soviet Union. So he's like, I'm gonna-

• 5:32Conan O'Brien?

  They were just all in the Politburo. Listen, that's a very funny joke.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 5:37Conan O'Brien?

  If it were nineteen eighty-six, um, that would kill, you know, around a bottle of vodka.

• 5:45Conan O'Brien?

  In Minsk.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:47Conan O'Brien?

  So, tell me, tell me about what Gilly does that's so great.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  So he comes, he does a whole thing that's actually funny for parents and funny for the kids. He does a whole magic thing and then at the end, he made swords for all the kids with balloons and then they went into the bounce house and just started fighting each other with these balloon swords.

• 6:07Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  And it's, he comes and every year, it's always something a little different and I think we're gonna just have Gilly until like the boys are eighteen.

• 6:15Conan O'Brien?

  I'm thinking about Tac when he was a kid in the Soviet Union, having to wait in a really long line and his birthday, just to get one second with a clown. And it was a cut-rate clown. The clown was just, had a cardboard belt, some Soviet-issued cardboard shoes.

• 6:30Conan O'Brien?

  And the clown would just bend a balloon that he had to keep remending.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:36Conan O'Brien?

  And then re-inflating and it would pop.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  Former WWII sniper.

• 6:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Oh, man!

• 6:41Conan O'Brien?

  He's like, "I defended Stalingrad, and I'm here with these fucking kids."

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Frost-bitten toes, they're black.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Oh, man!

• 6:49Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Ivan, just, uh, you're here for the kids. Next kid! You didn't even do anything, we waited for six hours and- Next kid!

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 7:01Conan O'Brien?

  Is that what it was like?

• 7:03Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 7:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  I, he takes a picture with Gilly every year. He loves Gilly. He-

• 7:08Conan O'Brien?

  I wanna see a picture of Gilly.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  It's the first, uh, I'll show you.

• 7:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and then we're gonna post this.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  He's the first-

• 7:13Conan O'Brien?

  Gilly the Clown, he's from, what is it, the Los Angeles Clown Emporium?

• 7:17Speaker 03

  Oh, wow, look at that.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that's Gilly!

• 7:20Speaker 03

  That's legit, I was expecting something a little more DIY or something.

• 7:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  No, he's a clown!

• 7:27Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, we can see that.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 7:29Conan O'Brien?

  This guy Denver has to say, "Hey, by the way, I'm a clown."

• 7:32Speaker 02

  He doesn't fuck around about clownery, he's serious.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  Or, uh, at Team Coco Podcasts on Instagram to see this.

• 7:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and check out Gilly the Clown, and it looks like he's throwing a club at the viewer. Doesn't it?

• 7:44Speaker 03

  He is!

• 7:45Speaker 02

  He can do it all, he can juggle, he does magic, he does, like, he, it's very funny, he does balloon animals.

• 7:51Conan O'Brien?

  Does he do political stuff?

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Like, what?

• 7:54Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, it'd be really funny if he was like-

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Does he have other clowns under him?

• 7:58Speaker 02

  I think he does.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  Like a, a second-rate Gilly or something?

• 8:01Speaker 02

  I don't know, we've only got-

• 8:03Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what? If I hired Gilly and I didn't get Gilly, I'd be pissed.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  You gotta ask for Gilly.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  I agree, I agree. No, he's the best, and we're probably-

• 8:12Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, custom, he does custom characters.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:14Conan O'Brien?

  Gilly will create a special character just for your party. Hey, let's hire Gilly and see if he'll do some political stuff.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, Nixon, yeah.

• 8:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yes, political stuff from the 70s. "Oh, you'll never get those tapes." Kids, cut to kids crying. "We want the Soviet clown who defended Stalingrad." Even he's better than this piece of shit.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Not Ivan! Nobody wants Ivan!

• 8:36Conan O'Brien?

  We'll have them both! It's daytime. Do something about Spiro Agnew resigning.

• 8:44Conan O'Brien?

  Why did you visit China?

• 8:49Conan O'Brien?

  Make it stop.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Oh, man. No, but we love Gilly and we're probably gonna just, seriously, we're gonna have him for as long as we have.

• 8:57Conan O'Brien?

  I think we're getting Gilly the Clown in here someday.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  I'm in. I think he'd be great.

• 9:01Conan O'Brien?

  I would love to get, now, first of all, see, your kids had a good time.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  They, yeah, they had a really great time. They had a lot of fun. It was good.

• 9:08Conan O'Brien?

  Did they get any good presents?

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Uh, we haven't opened them yet. We're using them as.

• 9:13Conan O'Brien?

  What's your problem?

• 9:13Speaker 02

  We're using them as, like, you gotta be good or else we're not gonna open your presents.

• 9:18Conan O'Brien?

  I'm sorry, I have never heard of that shit before. It's also six days past their birthday.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  Well, they got their birthday presents yesterday. And then they came home and they were all jacked up on, like, sugar and stuff.

• 9:27Conan O'Brien?

  On rum and coke.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  We were like, you gotta calm down. We're gonna open your presents tomorrow.

• 9:32Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so wait a minute. Wait a minute. On your birthday, the thing that makes it special is you get all these presents and you open them up. You don't have to learn lessons? You don't say, okay, these are your presents now. They're going into storage. They're going into a storage facility and, uh. You're off to boarding school.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, we use anything we can to use as like a, like a carrot for the boys. Like, be good, don't fight, don't wrestle.

• 9:59Conan O'Brien?

  If you want, if you want nutrition and food, you better be good.

• 10:05Conan O'Brien?

  If you wanna get a full night's sleep, you better be good.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  It's hard. We're just saying, like, last night we came home and we're like, you guys have to sleep and behave or else you don't get to open presents tomorrow. And we, we mean it.

• 10:17Conan O'Brien?

  And it works?

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. No.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  It doesn't work. It doesn't even work a little bit.

• 10:23Conan O'Brien?

  Whoa.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it doesn't work at all. It doesn't work at all.

• 10:26Conan O'Brien?

  You don't get that antibiotic until you're good.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  A fever at a hundred and six.

• 10:34Conan O'Brien?

  Better be good. Or no acylomycin for you.

• 10:40Conan O'Brien?

  Jesus, I don't, I don't like this. Again, this is tax Soviet upbringing. All joy must be withheld.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:48Conan O'Brien?

  In order for you to be good, fall into line. Big Brother is watching.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  Right?

• 10:52Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. I don't know.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:54Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  It, sometimes it works, but it didn't work yesterday.

• 10:57Conan O'Brien?

  Of course it doesn't work.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  No.

• 10:59Conan O'Brien?

  It doesn't work. Happy birthday to the boys. Hey, happy birthday to the boys, that's the important thing. And Gilly the Clown, wherever you are, uh, you're apparently very good at what you do.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, he is.

• 11:08Conan O'Brien?

  And I, I hope to meet him because he and I have something in common. We're both entertainers and I was a clown at a birthday party once. With my good friend who has since passed away. A guy that I did a lot of improv with back, uh, back in the olden times. Mike Castignola. Someone saw us perform together at a grounding show and said, we want to hire you. And they hired us to play a birthday party. Maybe you could team up with Gilly and... Oh, let me tell you what happened.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  What?

• 11:34Conan O'Brien?

  We didn't know what it was. They, they said, we want to hire you. And we said, we're in. And then it turned out it was in the park. Like in Santa Monica and it was a kid's birthday and these were little kids. And we showed up and we bombed. We, we brought our guitars, we were... What were you dressed like? We, we, I don't remember us even, we weren't dressed as clowns.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Oof. Big mistake.

• 11:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I know. That's the first mistake.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:58Conan O'Brien?

  But we, I don't think we appreciated, oh, these are little kids. I think we, we thought, oh, we can improvise our way out of anything. No, these were little kids. We didn't know what we were doing. Mike Castignola and I bombed. And if he were still with us on this earth, Mike would, would share the story of how we got nothing. And we walked away gutted.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 12:17Conan O'Brien?

  We walked away gutted and I... This is your origin story. This is my origin story.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Years later, you did a late night show with an all child, children audience. Do you think that was to make up for this clown party?

• 12:29Conan O'Brien?

  Possibly. It was another masochistic need to return to my old feral pain. Yeah. But no, so I know, I know how hard Gilly's job is.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:39Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, so I'd like to meet the man.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's awesome. He did not bomb, crushed it.

• 12:44Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well now you're just rubbing it in.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, he crushed it. Little kids, bigger kids.

• 12:49Conan O'Brien?

  Good for Gilly.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Crushed it.

• 12:50Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. I bet he'd be even better at podcasting.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:55Conan O'Brien?

  What if Gilly then gets a podcast and destroys, eats our lunch? And then he's on Sirius and his channel is the next channel over and destroys us.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Just has a podcast called Gilly Doesn't Need a Friend, Cause I Have a Ton of Friends.

• 13:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. She, Gilly is over to my Donahue. Just totally, no one's heard of me again afterwards. Just disappear. All right. My guest today was a cast member on Saturday Night Live and starred in the hit series Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Now you can see him in the new movie, The Roses, and in the Comedy Central animated series, Dig Man. Very excited he's here today.

• 13:35Conan O'Brien?

  Andy Samberg, welcome.

• 13:40Conan O'Brien?

  You're a laid back dude. That's what I love about you.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  By the way, sorry I didn't shave, fellas. I'm preparing for a role.

• 13:48Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah?

• 13:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Lazy guy.

• 13:50Conan O'Brien?

  As lazy guy.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Or is it, and then after that I'm doing beard dude?

• 13:57Conan O'Brien?

  So I walk in to the dressing room. We'll call it the dressing room. It's not really dressing room. It's just an office. But anyway, I walk in and you greet me and you're wearing like a nice shirt, a button up shirt.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:10Conan O'Brien?

  But down below, you've got the sloppiest sweatpants I've seen in a long time.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 14:17Conan O'Brien?

  And you were like, I'm sorry. This is the harshest I've ever been to anybody, but, and I said, hey, man, come on. You gotta dress up. For, I think you called him the Cone Meister?

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:27Conan O'Brien?

  And I said, you gotta, you know, put a little effort in. He said, hey, they don't shoot from the waist down.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  I did say it in that exact voice.

• 14:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. You went, hey, hey, man.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Hey, man.

• 14:38Conan O'Brien?

  And then you said, when's 4/20?

• 14:40Speaker 01

  I said, yeah.

• 14:42Conan O'Brien?

  But you're obsessive compulsive about it. You like, let me know when it's 4/19.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause I gotta have my toked ready.

• 14:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  And then when I toke, I gotta have Easy Rider playing.

• 14:54Conan O'Brien?

  I love an obsessive compulsive 4/20 guy, but.

• 14:59Conan O'Brien?

  I gotta have everything, all my stuff has to be lined up. All my shit has to be lined up and the right song has to be playing. Set the alarm for 4:18.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  Oh my god, I used to do a bit about a rasta who, um, who's like, you know, "Smoke deeper at the marijuana, smoke deeper." None for me though, my wife's pregnant.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  She could go into labor at any moment.

• 15:19Conan O'Brien?

  But everyone else, don't digga!

• 15:22Speaker 01

  But obviously I must refrain tonight. She could go into labor at any moment.

• 15:26Conan O'Brien?

  I've gotta be responsible.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  I gotta be totally focused if that happens, I gotta be with her, we're on this journey together.

• 15:31Conan O'Brien?

  I was thinking about this today, and this is totally random, which means I'm, I'm as comfortable as with, with this chap as I am with anyone, this incredible Andy Samberg. I was thinking about this this morning on a run. Yeah, you gotta get this, uh, gotta work out to get this bod.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  I exercised this morning also, so.

• 15:46Conan O'Brien?

  Hell, not like me. Anywho, um, I hired nine guys to attack me with hammers. That's what I did. Yeah, throughout the day. And, and my doctor has said this is not contributing at all to your physical health. That's funny, I hired nine guys to attack you with hammers. That's funny, today 18 guys attacked you with hammers. Mine were for a different reason. Oh, okay.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  But guys, this is hard math.

• 16:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:08Conan O'Brien?

  I was running and it started to occur to me that the Roxy Music song, "Let's Stick Together", is the craziest rock song ever because it's one of the coolest, sexiest Brian Ferry vocalists of all time. Wow, that was quick. What the hell was that? What the fuck did you just do? What did you just do? Let's call out Eduardo. Eduardo, what's going on? Maybe someone else's 420 started.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  So I was getting ready to queue up the song just in case somebody here hasn't heard it before. And I accidentally pressed play on the last song that I had going.

• 16:39Conan O'Brien?

  And it was Harry Belafonte.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  No, it was Ike Quebec, it was some jazz.

• 16:43Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay, oh nice. I like it when I come in here and you've got a little jazz club going. Always puts me in a bad mood right away.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  Apologies, didn't mean to interrupt your story.

• 16:49Conan O'Brien?

  But I'm running and I'm thinking about, I liked it. It's rock and, it's rock and roll and it reminded me of a bit I used to do for Odenkirk, uh, which is, it's a rock and roll song that, uh, is all about being responsible.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 17:04Conan O'Brien?

  And I, it cracks me up because it's, the song is all by, you know... We've been, we should stick together. It would be good for the children. You know, for tax reasons, it makes sense. To expect too much excitement, this part of our life is overreaching. Let's stick together. And it's, it's crazy to me, and it reminded me of this thing I used to do for Odenkirk, which was a sort of a, um, Robert Plant singer. And he's singing about, "Get eight hours of sleep."

• 17:36Conan O'Brien?

  "Don't, don't cheat yourself at six. Get your protein in many forms." And, uh, all the songs have like sick, uh, you know, leads and stuff like that. And it sounds very crunchy, but it's incredibly responsible. And I realized, oh, it's, Brian Ferry did that with "Let's Stick Together." Hit it. You prick!

• 18:03Conan O'Brien?

  So you got this great thing going.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:04Conan O'Brien?

  And then he's like, "In the long run, it makes sense." I've talked to my accountant. You know what I mean?

• 18:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:12Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, anyway.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  Tax breaks and whatnot.

• 18:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Uh, let's talk about you and then more about stuff I thought about on my run today.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Okay. You run through the neighborhood? Do you go to a place?

• 18:23Conan O'Brien?

  No, I run through my neighborhood, often screaming.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, I imagine, immediately imagine it like the beginning of the movie about your life where everyone's like, "How you doing, Conan?"

• 18:35Conan O'Brien?

  "Hey, Conan! Hiya, pal!" I do this when I see people, when I'm driving around L.A. and I see people jogging, I always pretend they're fleeing. It makes it much really fun. I do, I always imagine.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  What are they running from?

• 18:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I just imagine them running really hard and they've been running really hard for hours from like a monster.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:55Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I want to talk about you because Andy Samberg.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:00Conan O'Brien?

  I've been thinking about you today.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Is that on your run?

• 19:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, I think about important stuff on the run.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry.

• 19:05Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I was thinking about you because I think you are this comedic linchpin between one era and another in comedy that's crucial. I think you were doing YouTube internet comedy before such a thing really existed.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 19:25Conan O'Brien?

  And I think you and your, uh, Lonely Island chums had, and I'm gonna call you're chums.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  We're unequivocally chums.

• 19:36Conan O'Brien?

  No one's ever said chums with unequivocally. But you guys were working on this thing and perfecting it. And before there was the delivery system.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:48Conan O'Brien?

  And then the delivery system so comes along. You said you, I think you formed Lonely Island 2001?

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, 2000, 2001. We moved to LA from Berkeley where we grew up together.

• 19:58Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:59Conan O'Brien?

  All growing up in Berkeley, laid back dude.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:02Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, you were a skateboarder.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was terrible though. They were both pretty good skaters though.

• 20:07Conan O'Brien?

  You were a 90s kid who was obsessed with 70s music.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:11Conan O'Brien?

  Which is really interesting to me because I was a, you know, 80s guy who was obsessed with 60s music.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:19Conan O'Brien?

  I went back 20 years. So I was not listening to whenever people say, oh, my God. You, so you graduate high school, the early 80s and you head off to college. You must be listening to, and they come up with all these amazing early R E M and all that. I'm like, no, I wasn't listening to that. I was listening to all British Invasion stuff.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:36Conan O'Brien?

  And then I drifted before that and I went into Sun Session Elvis and all that. And, but you were out of time a little bit.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  I mean, I think for kids that are into music, you go back, right? I mean, you, you know what's going on at present, but like now kids are listening to the 90s. It's all 90s.

• 20:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 20:54Speaker 01

  I've had a couple of depressing moments with this recently. Like I have Apple Music and there's a section in it called Dad Rock.

• 21:01Conan O'Brien?

  Uh oh, yeah.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  And it's like bands where I'm like, they just came out.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  I know those guys. And then I'm like, oh, right. I'm in my 40s and a dad.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  But it hurts. I'm no, they're the fucking coolest.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  You gotta check them out.

• 21:19Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, man, what? Dad Rock, nah, this dad.

• 21:31Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 21:34Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:37Conan O'Brien?

  Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:41Conan O'Brien?

  You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 21:48Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 22:01Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:06Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Hello!

• 22:21Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  It should!

• 22:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I had this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty, it's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 22:56Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  What?

• 22:58Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Ooh!

• 23:02Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:04Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  Oh, that's good.

• 23:11Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You wanna hear what they are?

• 23:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:16Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:18Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Oh, that's weird.

• 23:25Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 23:28Conan O'Brien?

  And that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 23:35Speaker 02

  You travel a lot.

• 23:35Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 23:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:37Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 23:48Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:50Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 23:55Speaker 02

  My god.

• 23:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. No, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 24:00Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best. Based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 24:29Conan O'Brien?

  We all have those pieces in our closet we can count on. Sona, I imagine for you it's that leather jacket I got you.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Are you gonna do a bit?

• 24:35Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it's a really nice leather jacket I got you once.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  I had that and then I replaced it and yes, I use it all the time.

• 24:41Conan O'Brien?

  We all have that versatile jacket, the perfect t-shirt, and those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And you know what I was thinking about this morning?

• 24:50Speaker 02

  What?

• 24:51Conan O'Brien?

  Quince. They do it best. They really do. I was really thinking about this.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  What a coincidence that we're doing an ad for them.

• 24:56Conan O'Brien?

  No, a co-coincidence.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 25:00Conan O'Brien?

  That's why I get the big money.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  I gotta go.

• 25:02Conan O'Brien?

  Cut to very small amount of money. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials and designs that are timeless, thoughtful, crafted, and made to be worn again and again. And when the temperature starts to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples with versatile layers. Layer up. That's the key. Now, Blay, you're using some Quince. That's right. I'm spending a lot of time back east in Michigan. It's getting a little colder, so I got a featherless quilted jacket in Atlas Navy, and I just feel like a different guy. I feel classy. You look like a different guy because you're well-dressed. That's right. No, I'm serious. He looks like a hobo half the time. That's true. He's right. That's true. No, they really do great stuff. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com.

• 25:46Conan O'Brien?

  Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK as well.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  All right.

• 25:52Conan O'Brien?

  And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Please do that. Say, "By the way, I heard about this on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend." "Oh, I didn't really ask." "I just want you to know."

• 26:06Conan O'Brien?

  It's the best way to support the show.

• 26:15Conan O'Brien?

  You, Yorma, Akiva, you guys know each other from Berkeley.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:19Conan O'Brien?

  And you put together this thing, I'm gonna say 2001, you say 2000, 2001, no, fuck you, 2001. You guys put this, start working on this comedy, and it's fascinating to me because I don't know when YouTube came along officially. But it's a huge event, because I remembered immediately, the day someone came into my office, I think it was Frank Smiley, who's a producer. He came into my office, and I'm sure he produced all your segments on, when you came on the show over the years.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:52Conan O'Brien?

  But he came in and he said, "It's insane, whatever you want, just type it into this site."

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:57Conan O'Brien?

  And so you would, you'd say, "I don't know, I remembered seeing a thing on Green Acres once, where suddenly he's in Paris, it's like this, he's upside down and he's in Paris for no reason, and there it is." And it broke my brain.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:10Conan O'Brien?

  But you were crafting this comedy that I believe kinda changed many things, and I'm, I'm, I'm not a scholar, so I can't say you alone did this, but you, you guys had a huge impact because Lazy Sunday, Dick in a Box, I'm on a Boat, the stuff that you guys were churning out, I think was the essential DNA of what everybody's been chasing. Does that feel to you fair?

• 27:40Speaker 01

  I mean, it feels great to hear.

• 27:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  I've always thought of it this way, which is, like, I heard of YouTube the morning after Lazy Sunday aired. I didn't know that it even existed yet. And then there was this big wave of like, press. Also, it was the Christmas show, so it like, took it into the holidays.

• 28:00Conan O'Brien?

  Which is great, because it marinates.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Yes. And everyone's like, "We're all at home watching your video over the holidays, over and over again." And there's no like, new SNL episode to wipe it clean or whatever.

• 28:11Conan O'Brien?

  Right, right, right.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  But it became this wave of press, not about us, but about the existence of YouTube and about streaming video and how it was here. It's been this thing everyone had been talking about, like, before. When we lived in LA, we were making videos, we were just like trying to get people that had bandwidth and websites to upload our stuff.

• 28:29Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  Be like, oh man, we might get like posted on heavy.com or you know, like stuff like that. And you like have to submit it. You send like a VHS tape in and they're like, maybe we'll upload it. Uh, and then all of a sudden it was like, here's YouTube, anyone can do it immediately. It's easy, it's free. And here's the video that's like the, the crest of the wave.

• 28:50Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I think the first time I heard it's gone viral.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:53Conan O'Brien?

  Was lazy Sunday.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:55Conan O'Brien?

  Me. I mean, I'm sure other people had heard the term, but uh, people were telling me this thing's a monster and I watched it. Uh, and I was like, what? I don't get it.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  No, I, I.

• 29:08Conan O'Brien?

  And I was like, I'm gonna have him on what's called a podcast someday. And I'm gonna tell him I don't get it.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Fair enough.

• 29:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I could always see the future very well. Couldn't see the present.

• 29:20Conan O'Brien?

  Couldn't see that that was really funny.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  I say that to myself all the time when I watch new things. I'm like, I don't like this, but eventually I will.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  In time, I'll love it.

• 29:30Conan O'Brien?

  Those, those videos were events and made so many of them and that felt to me as a person at that time, I had. Was doing my own show, but had written for SNL. And I remember what, when I was at SNL, always thinking, short films are the way to go. And SNL had always done them a little bit, but I was always a little frustrated by live in some ways. And I thought, why don't we just get it? I mean, because all my heroes were, it's Monty Python, it's all this amazing sketch comedy that has been, it's SCTV.

• 30:08Conan O'Brien?

  Where they've got it just right. And there was part of me that really wanted to do that. And yes, there had been short films on SNL, but. When you guys started putting those out, it felt like you were doing the thing that I had been kind of daydreaming about in some weird way.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:24Conan O'Brien?

  Why doesn't someone do that?

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:26Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, well, I'll go back to bed.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  I mean, it was also.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  It was also because digital video at that moment, I just think about how lucky we were on so many fronts. Like, it was right when YouTube was becoming a thing that people were talking about. It was right when digital video could be made

• 30:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  affordably and look good.

• 30:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  It also like, looked different from the live show, so it was a nice way to step out and be like, "Hey, this is our thing that looks different and feels different." The same way like, the very first episode had an Albert Brooks film or something. We were like, "Whoa, what was that? That was on film." Like, in the beginning, we just, Shoemaker and Higgins, who, you know Higgins is still a producer there, and now Shoemaker runs Seth's show.

• 31:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  They knew we had made videos, Keven Yorman made a video while we were working there, just for fun. And they were like, "If you guys could do more of these for basically nothing," which is what we had been doing, "and use the cast," like, "we're always looking for things to change over sets," basically.

• 31:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  So it kinda happened very fortuitously and kinda under the radar. And we did a, we did one with Forte called Lettuce, where we're eating heads of lettuce. And then, we tried another one that didn't air till later. And then the third one we shot for SNL was Lazy Sunday. And then it was like, "Oh, that went better than we were expecting."

• 31:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:38Conan O'Brien?

  It's the Oppenheimer White Flash.

• 31:42Conan O'Brien?

  But I mean, I think that specific kind of comedy, to me anyway, starts with you guys.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  Uh, well, certainly on SNL, I think the pace that we kept in our editing and stuff, you can see that now influencing the stuff being done, which makes me so happy because I'm very antsy about my comedy. I want it to just be like So, but we're all children of Monty Python.

• 32:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  That's what you're saying, like, and Mel Brooks. Like, when I was a kid, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, like, those things turned into SpongeBob, and they turned into us, and they turned into, you know, Mr. Show and Stella, and all the things that influenced us of like, "What if it was real life, but really it's just a cartoon?" And anything can happen, and the world is spongy, and that's what, when I was a kid, made my brain go crazy. Like Billy Madison, Tommy Boy, things like that, where you're just like, "I can't feel happier about watching something because it just allows me to disappear into it."

• 32:40Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  And there's a

• 32:42Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, music also an important part?

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:45Conan O'Brien?

  Cause you're a huge music guy and so

• 32:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:48Conan O'Brien?

  Obviously dick in the box.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 32:50Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, there's a, there's a strong musical component to this stuff.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  Yes, and we also again got really lucky where it was like Timberlake, like hottest thing in the game being like, "I wanna do one with you guys," and us being like, "Use all of your powers, Justin."

• 33:06Speaker 01

  And him literally being like, "All right, here's how we're gonna do it. I'm gonna stack all my vocals. These are all harmonies. These are split to the left. These are split to the right." And we were just like, "Ugh."

• 33:13Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Like, "Oh my god, this is like how he's making the biggest songs in the world right now." And he's applying it to our song we're writing about sticking your dick in a box at Christmas. You know what I mean?

• 33:24Conan O'Brien?

  It's like you're in a room with Mozart.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:27Conan O'Brien?

  And he's like, "What do you gentlemen have?"

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. "All right, you ever see the movie Diner?"

• 33:32Conan O'Brien?

  He's like, "I love it."

• 33:35Conan O'Brien?

  "Oh, so we'll do this." "A dick in the box."

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Yes, yes. And I'm also here.

• 33:44Conan O'Brien?

  When you were in college, you did stand-up, I think, for seven years?

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:49Conan O'Brien?

  Which I didn't know.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:50Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm trying to imagine you doing stand-up because I was in, I never thought about doing stand-up. I always thought, "No, that's not me."

• 34:00Speaker 01

  I always wondered if you did, cause I think you would destroy.

• 34:03Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I later on went and did it in different ways and of course you, you built that muscle doing a late night show every night where you're standing in front of an audience and yeah, the thing that got me into it was I wanted to do very silly things.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 34:17Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, in a late night show and I wanted to create a, an insane world.

• 34:25Conan O'Brien?

  That was sort of in the spirit of what Dave had done, but very different, which was cartoons. Very cartoony, like you were saying, and I've always thought of myself as, "I'm a cartoon character." The hair, the name, I like to be thrown around like a cartoon character.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:40Conan O'Brien?

  I like to throw people around like they're cartoon characters. So, um, you can attest to that.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, it's very true.

• 34:47Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, that's enough out of you.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Okay. Happy to be here.

• 34:50Conan O'Brien?

  You signed it, you signed a waiver.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  So many NDAs?

• 34:52Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Like terms and conditions.

• 34:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, whatever.

• 34:56Conan O'Brien?

  You own a timeshare.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh yay.

• 34:58Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 35:01Conan O'Brien?

  It's not a good one. You're way behind in fame. Yeah, it's a lot of bad news here.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  It's like a timeshare in Baltimore?

• 35:08Conan O'Brien?

  It's in Baltimore. Yeah, but it's built in kind of a-

• 35:10Speaker 01

  Hey, no shade, no shade! We love Baltimore! Shout out to Baltimore! Hey, Baltimore!

• 35:17Conan O'Brien?

  And you have to stay there 50 weeks out of the year. I'm so behind. But it's also built as a Mediterranean bungalow. Wow. So it's very cold in the winter. I have to go.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  But it's in the middle of the road.

• 35:28Conan O'Brien?

  It was nice knowing you. Trunks come through all the time. Open the door again, why?

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Stop your suck!

• 35:37Conan O'Brien?

  It is a scam.

• 35:40Conan O'Brien?

  So, you find your people first, which you did. I think I did. I found my people and then, like a Robin Hood. I was like, okay, I got my gang together. Now we're gonna head off on this, on this adventure. Then you find your, you know, I'm gonna go on my trip now with my gang and we're gonna try and accomplish this goal.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:02Conan O'Brien?

  Go through Sherwood Forest and do something. And, but you gotta get the people first and that was crucial. And I think that kinda has to happen in your early twenties. A lot of times, if you're lucky, but-

• 36:13Speaker 01

  If you're lucky, yeah. I mean, and before you have kids, because it gets way more complicated, obviously.

• 36:18Conan O'Brien?

  Or kids that you're willing to acknowledge legally.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:21Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I had all kinds of kids in the eighties.

• 36:24Speaker 01

  And like, what are they up to now? David is one of them.

• 36:27Conan O'Brien?

  I'm right here.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Oh, shit!

• 36:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, he's-

• 36:29Speaker 01

  That's hell, well awkward.

• 36:31Conan O'Brien?

  She contacted me and said, "You do something with him."

• 36:38Conan O'Brien?

  So he's been here and we fired Sona and put him on mic.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then after this, after I leave, you're gonna like hug him like too tight and be like, "I fucking love you so fucking much."

• 36:48Conan O'Brien?

  It reminded me-

• 36:49Speaker 01

  He been creaking? No!

• 36:53Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe I've mentioned this, but it's one of my favorite things for the wrong reasons. But the Green Lantern movie that Ryan Reynolds made.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:01Conan O'Brien?

  There's a moment where the scientist who ends up being the bad guy in that Green Lantern movie.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  Spoiler.

• 37:08Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you.

• 37:10Conan O'Brien?

  He, uh, he has the ability to read minds. And his father's a tough general. And the father comes over to him at one point and he praises Ryan Reynolds. You're a great guy. And then you can hear his voice thinking like, yeah, he's really great. And then whatever. And he says goodbye to, and then he turns to his son and he's, the son says, um, father, well, I've been working on these experiments. And he gives him a hug or shakes his hand and goes, good job, son. And then you hear him, he hears him think, what a disappointment.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  It's literally the, like, the Joe Montana sketch.

• 37:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but it was for real.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  They won't bother me, I'll be masturbating.

• 37:49Conan O'Brien?

  It's not supposed to be a laugh line. I laughed, I laughed, I saw it in the theater. Someone was coming on for the late night show and I saw it in the theater and the, and the general hugs.

• 38:03Conan O'Brien?

  Um, son played by a famous actor. Anyway.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Brett Pitt.

• 38:08Conan O'Brien?

  No. Ryan Reynolds.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Clark Cable.

• 38:13Conan O'Brien?

  The little tramp himself, Charlie Chaplin. Well, I was gonna say no, but because you said the little tramp himself, Charlie Chaplin, it was Charlie Chaplin. Anyway, the idea that, that I would hug my son and go, good to see you, son. What a disappointment. So I told my son this and I do it with him all the time. I hug him and I go, I love you. What a disappointment.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Like, in his ear.

• 38:40Conan O'Brien?

  Anywho, Eduardo, why don't you just miscue another track?

• 38:46Conan O'Brien?

  She says, I'm fucking sorry, shots fired, yeah, left and right.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  What a disappointment.

• 38:51Conan O'Brien?

  Peter Skarsgard? No.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  Damn it. That's why I didn't say it.

• 38:56Conan O'Brien?

  Anywho, doesn't matter, doesn't matter. We'll edit this out, we'll be chopped together, you'll do a nice little.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  You know who it could have been? Blake Lively, she was in that.

• 39:05Conan O'Brien?

  That's right, that's where they got together or met, something like that.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  I don't speak on things like that.

• 39:10Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, you're principled.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, that's their private life.

• 39:14Conan O'Brien?

  Whoa, and I think you're a little gassy, too.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  You know when you zip your lip, but then immediately you gotta fart? Yeah. Yeah, cause it's trapped. You know where to go, but out. Yeah, that's, that's a good character, the mime who keeps zipping his lip and then

• 39:36Speaker 01

  like, oh.

• 39:38Conan O'Brien?

  All right.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  Normally, I love mimes.

• 39:40Conan O'Brien?

  You're on SNL and you worked very hard for seven years, I think.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:47Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, and it took a toll. Because the kind of work you were doing is very labor intensive.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  The shorts.

• 39:55Conan O'Brien?

  The shorts, yeah, really labor intensive. And then I imagine there's all kinds of pressure. Give us another one of those, it becomes viral the next day.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:04Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, there'd be, just be that hit.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  I mean, yes, for the first five years, we couldn't believe our luck. You know, they're like, they're just asking for them now. We have like a spot on the show every week. But not coincidentally, after five seasons, Kievan Yorn both kinda left and, and were half, half working there, half not. Kie went and made a movie, Yorn went and made a movie. And it started getting a lot more difficult physically and creatively.

• 40:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  And so by the end of the seventh season, I was like, I don't think I can do it anymore. Basically.

• 40:35Conan O'Brien?

  So I went back for the 50th.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:37Conan O'Brien?

  And I was in the audience and really enjoying the show. And then, uh, I think the three of you did a short.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 40:45Conan O'Brien?

  About anxiety.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yes, yes, yes. And I did it with Mike Diva too, who's a director there now.

• 40:50Conan O'Brien?

  And it, it is, it is about how many people talk about the anxiety of working on SNL.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 40:56Conan O'Brien?

  And it's funny because you're kind of taking a piss out of that old saw that, you know, it's like going into battle doing SNL and the anxiety involved. But also at the same time, you're honoring that that's, it is true. And it was really funny. I loved it.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  Thank you. Yeah, there's a whole section of it where I start singing, if these pipes could talk. Because you're talking about how everyone who ever worked there gets IBS, basically, from stress.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  And you know, it, that video that night.

• 41:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  Everyone that worked there at some point was, went out of their way to be like, that was, that was really like. That nailed how it feels, basically, in a fun, hopefully, way.

• 41:39Conan O'Brien?

  Also, at a great moment, because the 50th, it came out beautifully, I thought. But of course, part of the process was a mad scramble, because things have to be. I think there might be some part of Lauren that likes that.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Of course. Also, it's stressful to be at the 50th, make no mistake. Like, you love it, you wouldn't miss it, but you're like, it's fucking everyone who's ever worked here is all here. And like, who's gonna say hi to me? Who's not gonna say hi to me? Who do I say hi to? Is this, am I gonna be in the show? If I'm in the show too much, do I like what I'm doing? Am I pissed about that? If I'm not in the show, are they ignoring me? Like, there's no winning when you go back into that, because it's

• 42:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  such a vortex of everything that's ever happened there. So I was kinda hoping it would sort of be in the spirit of that also.

• 42:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I think you touched on something that anyone who's worked there has felt. And it's, it's so strange, because people that, so many people enjoy SNL, as they should. They should enjoy it without knowing what goes into the sausage.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 42:39Conan O'Brien?

  So they're not supposed to know. No one's supposed to know.

• 42:43Conan O'Brien?

  That, that, uh, the, the level of anxiety that some people, some people manage to do it and not feel that.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:52Conan O'Brien?

  That's not how I'm built. I always felt, and I was a writer, I was not a performer, but just as a writer, I, I felt like there was a gun against my head all the time.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  It's designed that way.

• 43:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  It's, it's a pressure cooker, but also like, I personally went through that process and I still love it the same as when I, before I worked there.

• 43:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Because it gave me everything I had hoped it would ever give me, and I loved doing it.

• 43:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  And so. You have to recognize when it's time for you to leave because you can't physically do it anymore. And if you can do that, I think it's fine. I mean, every job is hard. Like, you go to your doctor and they're all cheery, hopefully, but like, they went to med school for like seventy years or something, so. Like, it's, it's a job and it's work and you do that work and your job is to make it seem like it's fun and just let the fun part filter through onto the show.

• 43:47Conan O'Brien?

  Right? Yes, I, I disagree. No, I disagree, but. You disagree, and then, but say more about that. I just think you're wrong. Then you think I'm stupid and ugly? Stupid and ugly, yes. But I, I hope that was implied.

• 44:03Conan O'Brien?

  It's interesting, because when you went on to do the very funny, uh, long-running Brooklyn Nine-Nine, you're working in this format that I think you and I are similar. You mentioned it earlier. You kind of want to make something and have it be out there pretty soon. And if you're making a, a short film, or if you're in a sketch, or. I, I've always loved the world of think of it and then it happens pretty soon after you think of it.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:28Conan O'Brien?

  And I struggle in the format of, I mean, I don't even know how people make movies. I, what little I've seen of it, the idea that you would spend years of your life and not know. You would drop a nickel and not into a well and not hear it splash for seven years and then get a critique. And it splashes when you're busy doing six other things.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:49Conan O'Brien?

  That feels very strange to me. And even the rhythm of doing a Brooklyn Nine-Nine would be very different.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:57Conan O'Brien?

  Than. What you got? What you got, kid? What you got? What you got?

• 45:00Speaker 01

  Yes. We got to a point, I mean, in our first five or six seasons or something, we had like over twenty episodes a season. It's like that old school. Series order. So we would reach a point where we were, they were being written and we were shooting them after the season had started airing. And when you get into that rhythm, it's a little more stressful, but you can be like, hey, if I, if, if I think of this joke today, it'll be on the air in like, a month, two months?

• 45:29Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  Which for a TV show is pretty good.

• 45:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  The thing about making Brooklyn that I loved, I mean, there were a million things I loved about it. But to your point earlier about doing the digital shorts at SNL is controlling the edit.

• 45:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  And just being like, if a joke is a dud, it's gone. Like, the freedom of that feeling of knowing we're not going to expose anyone in our cast. We're not going to embarrass ourselves and we're going to make it as tight as it needs to be or as slow as it needs to be for that thing. But something I was really proud of about Brooklyn Nine-Nine is that it flies. It really just goes and goes and goes. And that's something I really love personally.

• 46:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, pacing. And I think of all the great clips that I watch over and over and over again from some of my favorite comedy movies, whether it's the Marx Brothers or W.C. Fields, or whether it's Peter Sellers' Clouseau.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  Dude, who's on first? I showed my daughter who's on first because I was like, you should know what this is. They are flying.

• 46:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Abbott and Costello's famous who's on first routine. And the other thing you realize about that, to be a total comedy nerd for a second, is what a great straight man means. You always think of Abbott and Costello. It's Costello who's the big, you know, clown. And you sometimes think, what's this straight man really doing? He's just saying, now, wait a minute.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  Oh, it's the whole thing.

• 46:49Conan O'Brien?

  But he's fantastic. His job is to keep the line tight.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 46:55Conan O'Brien?

  You know, so that the other person hanging on doesn't sag. And he, what are you doing? What are you, what are you talking about? You know, it's just that, it's so fast.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  The ball is just in the air.

• 47:04Conan O'Brien?

  The whole time.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  It's incredible. And, you know, you can tell they've done it a million times. And that's, back then, it was much more like, you work your act across the country and then you put it on tape, you know? Which, maybe we should be doing more of? It's pretty incredible when you see those performances. It's just a whole different skill set.

• 47:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it was a different era when people would have an act for a lifetime.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Right, yeah.

• 47:26Conan O'Brien?

  So you would have your act and you think about what's happened because of technology is you can work on an act for 25 years and then they say, congratulations, you've got an, you've got a HBO Max stand-up special. And you do it and they go, great. You know, you were nominated for an Emmy, but you didn't get it. But anyway.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  Who am I talking about?

• 47:50Conan O'Brien?

  No, not me, not me.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  No, I know.

• 47:52Conan O'Brien?

  But, um, but no, what I'm saying is that it's a quick hit. The rush is over. It's a very noisy world out there and you just did something you've been thinking about for whatever 15 years. That you've tested and tested and tested and now what else you got?

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's tonnage now. It really is. I mean, comedy has always been that a little bit. You're only as funny as the last thing you did.

• 48:12Conan O'Brien?

  What if we did have that principle on this podcast, but it was about the last thing you just said?

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Right. Well, the last thing I said was pretty serious.

• 48:19Conan O'Brien?

  I know. That's what I'm saying. You're not funny right now.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  Ironically not funny.

• 48:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. So in this second, you're not funny.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  And so you're saying-

• 48:26Conan O'Brien?

  Until you say the last thing.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 48:28Conan O'Brien?

  Tomatoes. Now I'm funny.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  Now you're really funny.

• 48:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  I'm almost like scared by how funny you just got.

• 48:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you're now still not funny because you're still speaking seriously.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  If I'm being serious and it's not funny, trigger warning, I have to kill myself?

• 48:43Speaker 01

  That's the rule of your podcast?

• 48:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's a little room we have in the back where-

• 48:47Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 48:48Conan O'Brien?

  The glass room? Glass room. So that we can watch you do it.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  Right. And there's like a samurai sword in there?

• 48:55Conan O'Brien?

  No, it's auto erotic.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Oh damn!

• 48:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  See, now this I could get into.

• 49:09Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 49:13Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 49:27Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 49:40Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Hello!

• 50:00Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space with available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View U.S. News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details. Did you know that 1 in 4 Americans targeted by scams end up falling for them?

• 50:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:40Conan O'Brien?

  You fell for one.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  I fell for a scam.

• 50:42Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you didn't lose too much money, but you did lose.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  I did lose, and it was very inconvenient, and now they put protections on my account like I'm, uh, dumb.

• 50:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I don't know where they got that impression. Criminals are now using AI to make scams look more realistic than ever. In 2025, AI fraud spiked 1,210% and cost Americans $893 million. That's incredible. Well, with AI, it can get so smart now.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:10Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Maybe I should start scamming.

• 51:12Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's not the point.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Oh, no, that's not the point of this.

• 51:14Conan O'Brien?

  That's not the point.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  It's so much money.

• 51:16Conan O'Brien?

  One accidental click, Son, can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Luckily, this is the point. Not that you should start scamming, but that everyone should get LifeLock.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, right.

• 51:26Conan O'Brien?

  LifeLock has live, U.S.-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft, from first alert to full restoration. This is fantastic. How do you not have this?

• 51:37Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:38Conan O'Brien?

  If you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 51:56Conan O'Brien?

  So what are some of the things in life that really get you down?

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Uh, driving?

• 52:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  That's the first thing that popped in my head.

• 52:02Conan O'Brien?

  No, but I've seen you drive and it's true. I'm always picking mailboxes out of your grill.

• 52:08Conan O'Brien?

  You're a creative driver. Uh, look, let's face it. Just living on earth can be a lot, right?

• 52:13Speaker 02

  It can.

• 52:14Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, oy vey, it's a lot.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:16Conan O'Brien?

  There's gravity, there's mosquitoes, there's this... You know that they say the sun is going to, at some point, go supernova? And incinerate the earth, probably in five billion years?

• 52:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 52:25Conan O'Brien?

  But watch your diet, we might be sticking around for that.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 52:28Conan O'Brien?

  So cosmically speaking, you've earned a break.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:30Conan O'Brien?

  And you know where this is going? I think you do.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  No.

• 52:32Conan O'Brien?

  Pluto TV.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Oh, right, of course.

• 52:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, to escape all of these hassles in life, you gotta get Pluto TV. Turn off all your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. You've seen them, but you want to see them again. They're old friends.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:45Conan O'Brien?

  Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Dirty Dancing, Alias, X-Files. Pluto TV is completely free.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 52:52Conan O'Brien?

  These streamers, all these things cost so much money these days. And I won't mention that when I do an ad for them, but... No subscription, no fees, zero dollars. And as any mathematician will tell you, zero is one of the most profound numbers ever conceived. I was thinking about that this morning.

• 53:07Speaker 02

  Wow, that's profound.

• 53:08Conan O'Brien?

  I really wasn't. The best thing on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

• 53:20Conan O'Brien?

  Are you a happy chap now? You seem like a very happy fellow.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  I'm pretty happy.

• 53:23Conan O'Brien?

  Were you always pretty happy?

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Always pretty happy.

• 53:26Conan O'Brien?

  Damn it.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  I know. It's annoying. It's a struggle to work in comedy as a happy chap. Which I will now only refer to myself as that.

• 53:36Conan O'Brien?

  You're a real happy chappy.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  I feel like your SNL generation was the last one that was kinda like, it was still kinda intense and gritty. Am I wrong?

• 53:46Conan O'Brien?

  It's possible, I don't know.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  The stories I hear, both firsthand from people and like on things like podcasts and stuff, documentaries, which I have watched all.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  It seems like it was a little more like competitive and kinda grimy.

• 54:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, it was definitely that when I was there. And then I have to, I have to credit Sandler for... I'll never forget, we were, you know, I gotta think of something. Is this guy's this good enough? I had something last week, but I don't know if I have anything this week. It's, it's late. I don't think I can write comedy. I don't think I have, I used to, I used to call my girlfriend at the time and say, I think I can't do this. And she'd be like, well, you know, quit then. Um, that was fun. Anyway, I was dating the Tasmanian Devil.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  Hey, I was like, where'd you go, Cody?

• 54:34Conan O'Brien?

  Sorry. Passed out for a second. You're a terrible lover. What? Does it ever get erect? What? Please. Those are just made up quips. Um, but I was in that state of mind and I think, you know, Smigel and Odenkirk and Greg Daniels were like, it's life or death. And it feels like that's kind of how everyone feels. And then this guy named Adam Sandler showed up one day and he's like, and he kept talking about, let's go get a milkshake. Oh, milkshakes are good. And he went, oh, I had strawberry. It was very good. And I just thought, what? And he was like, this is so much fun to be at SNL. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love

• 55:16Conan O'Brien?

  it. Yippee. And he had that, I'm gonna do Opera Man. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. This is great, guys. And, um, and then I remember he came out with a movie and when it was, the movie was premiering, he got in, he rented a big bus with all of his friends that made the movie and they drove around and they got milkshakes. And then they went to the premiere and people recognized Adam and he was very happy. And you're just, this is how it's, this is a possibility. You can like this?

• 55:45Speaker 01

  I mean, it's.

• 55:46Conan O'Brien?

  Why not?

• 55:47Speaker 01

  It's just your childhood, right?

• 55:49Conan O'Brien?

  I guess so, yeah.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  I think he's just came out that way. And by the way, obviously he's a huge inspiration to me. And when I saw him on SNL, it was him on SNL and Jim Carrey on In Living Color were the first times when I was younger where I was like, oh, maybe I could do comedy.

• 56:04Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  Not to take away from how incredible they both are. Like, I'm not talented specifically to how they are at all, but it felt so like, for me, your show as well, frankly, where I was like, Oh, it's coming now that what I really specifically like is successful.

• 56:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  And perhaps now there's a path for me. Like, I think it is that one to one.

• 56:28Conan O'Brien?

  I think sometimes real silliness used to be discounted somewhat.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:33Conan O'Brien?

  But then I've always had that theory that, no, no, I just love things that are incredibly silly.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:40Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, I'll use the word stupid, but then if it's really good, it's because there's some little piece of intelligence in there somewhere that I can't explain.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 56:50Conan O'Brien?

  Or maybe not, I don't know.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Imagine me explaining to my parents why like, I'm under the table guy is like genius, right? Because it is, because he's fucking off the whole enterprise.

• 56:59Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Like it's, he's, he's continuing like Steve Martin and my, like, and Monty Python we keep talking about. But like, the whole feeling of like, I think certain people who love comedy are born into this world. And we were like, I have a question, none of it makes sense though, right? Like, it's all a weird cosmic joke cartoon, right? And I'm not like alone in that, right? And then when you find other people that share that feeling and funnel it into laughing and enjoying themselves.

• 57:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  It feels like a gift from God. You're like, you made it to Hogwarts, you know?

• 57:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, it's exactly how it feels. Um, by the way, the most irresponsible school to send your children to is Hogwarts.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  Say more.

• 57:37Conan O'Brien?

  Well, thank you.

• 57:41Conan O'Brien?

  If only I had a mic and a podcast.

• 57:45Conan O'Brien?

  Can you imagine sending your kids to Hogwarts and they're killed in a massive battle?

• 57:52Conan O'Brien?

  Also like. That happens all the time, like.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  I'd be like, I don't know, we should send them back next year.

• 57:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Did you know that 11 kids died playing Quidditch this year? People are constantly imperiled and dying and, and, and I think, and the school has to publish these facts. They do have to put it out there. I'm just saying, I watch that all the time.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  This is stand-up. You imagine getting the email from Hogwarts in the summertime? We promise Baltimore's not gonna be there next year.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  I know some of the parents were concerned. Baltimore showed up, killed hella kids. We have taken care of it. We assure you, our school counselor has talked to them. You're just like, oh, man.

• 58:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. Okay, he did come back.

• 58:39Speaker 01

  This time he's like a squishy little like widget underneath a mansion.

• 58:42Conan O'Brien?

  400 kids died in a great battle that destroyed most of the school. And puts any mass shooting to shame. By its sheer scale, but anyway, we could use money this year. For our library.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  We heard there was a dementor in your child's dorm room. That's a, we're gonna give you a 20% discount on that.

• 59:09Conan O'Brien?

  Right? That's a bit.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  Should we do a stand-up special?

• 59:12Conan O'Brien?

  I think you and I should do a stand-up special. We'll talk about the money.

• 59:17Speaker 01

  Okay, I assume 90-10 split. You take the 90?

• 59:19Conan O'Brien?

  I get the 90.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz seniority.

• 59:21Conan O'Brien?

  Well, not just seniority.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  Height.

• 59:24Conan O'Brien?

  Height, but also.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  Quality.

• 59:27Conan O'Brien?

  Quality. I'm Catholic.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  More famous.

• 59:33Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't think that.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  I do.

• 59:35Conan O'Brien?

  But anyway, what I'm happy for you about is that I did all these things that I'm very happy about. And then I find these things that I don't even know what they mean to people anymore, but I enjoy doing them.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 59:44Conan O'Brien?

  It's fun and I love that. And as long as the rent's paid, I'll do the fun stuff now.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 59:53Conan O'Brien?

  And I really do look at these younger generation of comedians and I'm just delighted. This stuff, when I see good stuff, it makes me very happy. I don't feel, "Good, damn it!"

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Agreed.

• 1:00:03Conan O'Brien?

  They were sucking the lifeblood from me. But you get to do these things now, like this animated series, Digman.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:00:10Conan O'Brien?

  Which is a really funny idea because you grew up on.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  Indiana Jones.

• 1:00:15Conan O'Brien?

  Indiana Jones.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. And The Mummy and, you know, this notion that archaeologists are like the.

• 1:00:21Conan O'Brien?

  National treasure.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, like the coolest people in the world. And it's just a universe where you're just, you are told to accept that.

• 1:00:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  Where you're like, "Archaeologists, whoa."

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  So yeah, me and my friend Neil Campbell wrote a whole show where that's basically the world. Where like archaeologists are the biggest celebrities.

• 1:00:38Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what I love is that we all accepted it. I mean, when.

• 1:00:45Conan O'Brien?

  You know, I'm quite a bit older than you. I got two decades on you. And I remember when Indiana Jones came out and it never for a second thought, not for a split second did I think, wait a minute, archaeologist. They would show him teaching at school and then going out around the world. And it was the most exciting thing in the world. And when I knew that you were coming on, I thought, and we're going to talk about Diggman. I thought, it's just so funny to me, the idea of you could take footage of real archaeologists doing what they really do, but put the Indiana Jones theme to it.

• 1:01:17Conan O'Brien?

  And it's people just looking at geological maps.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:22Conan O'Brien?

  For years.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:23Conan O'Brien?

  To try and look where maybe the fault came together and there used to be a river. Cause that, and then slowly digging, but being very careful.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Little brushes.

• 1:01:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, little brushes, but then.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  Dusty causes.

• 1:01:33Conan O'Brien?

  The local government has asked you to do a stay because they want to examine what you're doing more carefully. So they shut down the site.

• 1:01:45Conan O'Brien?

  You respond with legal letters.

• 1:01:48Conan O'Brien?

  Now the site's been reopened, just more slow, dusty.

• 1:01:53Conan O'Brien?

  And then lifetime over, never really found anything.

• 1:01:59Conan O'Brien?

  Roll credits. Credits, really long credits, like there were tons of stunts. Just lots of stuntmen that you never saw proof of in any way.

• 1:02:14Conan O'Brien?

  And he died.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  It's real, it's real. I mean, some of them I'm sure are swashbuckling and adventury. Your character. Yes.

• 1:02:21Conan O'Brien?

  The voice.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  Rip Diggman, the voice.

• 1:02:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it might sound familiar to some.

• 1:02:25Conan O'Brien?

  I'd like to hear a little.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Well, it sounds a little like this.

• 1:02:35Conan O'Brien?

  My favorite impressions of all time.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Oh, you're the best.

• 1:02:38Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, seriously, you're, first of all, I love him, I adore him.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  Oh, he's the coolest.

• 1:02:43Conan O'Brien?

  I, and I say this, if this gets back to, uh, Nicolas Cage, I adore him, I, my eyes are never off him when he does anything, which I think is proof that he's doing something right.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:53Conan O'Brien?

  But that voice, your impression is fantastic.

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  Thank you. He came on SNL and did it with me, which I know is like an SNL move, but if I really had to think about one moment that I had live during that show, it, that was my favorite moment of the whole time, it was probably when he came and did that with me.

• 1:03:09Conan O'Brien?

  And were you at all self-conscious about doing it with him, or did it immediately just turn into, um, we're playing together, it's fun?

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  Kind of the latter. I mean, I obviously didn't want him to hate me, because I respect his work so much, and like, the reason I have an impression is because I've watched a thousand hours of Nick Cage. You know, it's like embedded in me somewhere, but I didn't even think to do it, it was like, uh, I think like Emily Spivey or someone wrote me into a sketch as Nick Cage, and she's like, you know, Sam Bear, can you do Nick Cage? And I was like, I don't think so, but then I tried it, and I was like, I guess I can kinda do it. And then I kept doing it on Upd, and it was just so fun. And he was the nicest when he came, and he went so fucking ham live.

• 1:03:47Conan O'Brien?

  Of course.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  We did it in a dress, and he was like, good, and we were like, this is gonna work, and then on air, he just like, went all in, and like, did the nice thing of like, I'm gonna do how you do the impression.

• 1:03:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  You know, so it like feels crackly and fun like that. He was just a joy.

• 1:04:03Conan O'Brien?

  We used to do a horse on our late night show called Cloppy, and Cloppy was a horse. This conceit was, I'd go like, hey, it's time to visit our friend Cloppy, and then it was like a children's theme, and this horse would, with a big fake head, would look through the window and go, hi, I'm Cloppy. And I would talk to Cloppy, and, um, Cloppy would always say very depressing things, and then wander off, and you'd hear a gunshot.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:26Conan O'Brien?

  And it's, and a fall, and I go, oh no, Cloppy killed himself, and Cloppy would come back and, no, I didn't. And then there was always a very tortured explanation for what the gunshot and the fall was all about.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 1:04:37Conan O'Brien?

  And he kept doing that, and, um, that was Cloppy, and we, and when we'd go out with the song too. And then I had Nick Cage on once, completely unrelated, we had him on as a guest, and he's talking, and he just said at one point, I like Cloppy. And with his Nick, I mean, you can do it better than I can, but he said, I like you, I like Cloppy, you can do it for me.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  I really like Cloppy.

• 1:05:03Conan O'Brien?

  And he did it with a big smile and I became obsessed when the interview was over. I said, the next time we do Cloppy, I want the, when we play the song, it's Cloppy, I want a little circle wipe to come up of Nick Cage's head going, how like Cloppy? For no reason and then go away. And that was the magic of doing that kind of comedy was they went, okay. And then the next time we did Cloppy, they had a Nicolas Cage endorsement.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  So rad.

• 1:05:29Conan O'Brien?

  Just as a little head.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  But of course he got it immediately because he liked Cloppy because he's the best.

• 1:05:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  He's the best.

• 1:05:36Conan O'Brien?

  He's the best.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  I like the horse that comes in with the happy song and then you think maybe he killed himself.

• 1:05:43Speaker 01

  Cause that's fucking funny. You know, he was like, yeah, man, it is.

• 1:05:46Conan O'Brien?

  That's good stuff. I also want to give a shout out to The Roses, which is, I mean, talk about this cast. You're in this movie with Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:56Conan O'Brien?

  This is one of those things that you have to have a moment of, I'm sorry, I was doing really weird shit on the internet.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Conan O'Brien?

  25 years ago.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:06:04Conan O'Brien?

  And now I'm with two of the best actors in the world.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Truly.

• 1:06:08Conan O'Brien?

  In a film?

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, in a movie. Jay Roach directed it. Me and Kate McKinnon play a married couple who are friends with them. It's a remake of War of the Roses, but really more of a reimagining.

• 1:06:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Um, and it's written by Tony McNamara, who wrote like The Great and The Favorite and Poor Things and stuff.

• 1:06:26Conan O'Brien?

  Any, uh, is there an intimidation factor there? And it's okay if there isn't, you don't have to say there is.

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  Um, I'll say this, SNL breaks, you have it a little because you deal with everyone. And you realize like, all right, everyone's just people. It's just, are you that crazy of a fan that you get a little nervous, which I did. Um, I did a movie a couple of years ago with Kate Winslet and it was a straight drama. And after going through that, I was like, well, at least this, The Roses is comedic and I'm supposed to be funny in it. So I was relaxing in that way. I was also paired with Kate and that was very comfortable for me. But I'm not unaware that I'm like in, I'm in a scene at one point with Cumberbatch, Olivia and Allison Janney. And it's just the four of us and it's like a big scene.

• 1:07:11Conan O'Brien?

  And the ghost of Laurence Olivier.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you're like, seriously.

• 1:07:14Conan O'Brien?

  Boo, boo.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, like, yes, honestly, like, uh, Daniel Day Lewis is like, mind if I pop in?

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  I'm just trying to remember the rest of my lines, get the fuck out of here.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  But it's, you start and you're nervous and you're like, oh, here comes that day. I know that day. And then you do it. And as soon as you do a couple of takes and it's working and it's really funny too, which I just know is what I do.

• 1:07:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  I'm like, all I can think is like, this is so fun and this is so cool. And they're all so nice. Like Olivia came from comedy. Benedict's hilarious. Jani is a legend and so funny. So everybody's nice. They're all like lying and saying they're nervous too, to make me feel better. It was very warm and very fun.

• 1:07:58Conan O'Brien?

  I remembered rewatching Hot Fuzz recently. Olivia Colman's in it.

• 1:08:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Conan O'Brien?

  And her name is like 15th in the credits.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Conan O'Brien?

  She's hilarious and she kills it, but I think total she maybe has nine lines or something.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I mean, she's banging around.

• 1:08:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  Doing stuff and being really funny. And then everyone was like, what if we let her do drama too? And it was like, oh, I see. You're like one of the best.

• 1:08:22Conan O'Brien?

  You're one of the best ever.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. And Cumberbatch was funny because I played a detective on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, obviously. Co-created by Dan Gour. And uh.

• 1:08:30Conan O'Brien?

  Dan Gour, a former writer of mine.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  That's why I bring it up.

• 1:08:33Conan O'Brien?

  He betrayed me and fled.

• 1:08:36Conan O'Brien?

  In the foolish thought that he could have his own hit.

• 1:08:42Conan O'Brien?

  Well, it never happened for you, did it, Dan? Conan, uh, Brooklyn Nine-Nine was a huge hit. People love that show. Shut up. Sorry.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  I'll do all the voices if I have to. That's fine. It's like a radio play. It's good. But anyway, when I would have like a big case solve monologue on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I would often say, everybody stand back. I'm about to start Cumberbatching.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Because of Sherlock.

• 1:09:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  And no one, speaking of speed, which is my fave thing, I keep telling. Doing like fast dialogue, perfect diction, tons of thought going into every line. Taking you through this journey of like Sherlock Holmes is solving this crazy intricate thing. He was like, when it came to the detective stuff, that was my north star.

• 1:09:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  Where I was like, the look and feel should be McNulty from The Wire. And the speed of the solves should be Sherlock.

• 1:09:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  So it was cool to get to work with him and see him like do that in person.

• 1:09:42Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you're living the dream. I am.

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  I feel a little bit...

• 1:09:46Conan O'Brien?

  Cause you're here with me. Bam! I made it about me again!

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  Bam and bingo.

• 1:09:52Conan O'Brien?

  Podcast! Podcast.

• 1:09:55Speaker 01

  The best thing anyone could ever do.

• 1:09:58Conan O'Brien?

  When they're bad, it's okay. When they're good, it's okay. Everything is okay. It's a podcast. Podcast. I've noticed that. I'm like, anytime we do anything and people are like, I'm like, I don't know about that one. It was great! Blaze is always like, "It was great!"

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  It was great. It is always great.

• 1:10:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, it's not always good! When you get a guy like Andy Samberg in here, oh man, is it good.

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  Oh shit.

• 1:10:22Conan O'Brien?

  But then some piece of crud like Harrison Ford...

• 1:10:24Speaker 01

  Thank you! Thank you.

• 1:10:27Conan O'Brien?

  And if you're listening, Harrison, I'm coming for you. That'll, that'll scare him. I want to thank you for being here. I also want to thank you for always being one of the nicest, just most relaxed, hilariously funny people I've ever known. Seriously, you, you're a ray of sunshine. Seriously. And you make me, and when you show up in your goddamn baggy pants...

• 1:10:56Conan O'Brien?

  What did you say? You said, quick, the quick Lorne story at Wimbledon.

• 1:10:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, so...

• 1:11:01Conan O'Brien?

  Cause I brought that up and you brought up something and I said, "Let's do it on the pod."

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  Yes, you said, you said you're wearing sweatpants. What the fuck, basically.

• 1:11:07Conan O'Brien?

  In a, in a bit voice. Bit voice, bit voice.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wasn't hostile. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no clickbait.

• 1:11:17Conan O'Brien?

  Conan O'Brien thrashes Andy Samberg for wearing fucking sweatpants, piece of shit, fucking slacker.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  Long headline.

• 1:11:33Conan O'Brien?

  Do you, internet?

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  So yes, and I said, do you want me to change pants? And then I said, oh, that actually really happened to me. I went to Wimbledon with Lauren last summer. And he, I got it, we were gonna sit in the royal box, which is sheesh as fuck, obviously. And I got an email being like, dress code, this and that. I was there shooting the roses and I didn't have any like, nice pants with me. So I was like, I got black jeans, that's gotta fly. Black jeans are not like normal jeans.

• 1:12:01Conan O'Brien?

  I would wear black jeans to a funeral and I have.

• 1:12:03Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. I would wear them to my own funeral.

• 1:12:06Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, that's just stupid.

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:12:08Conan O'Brien?

  You went too far.

• 1:12:09Speaker 01

  Hang on, I gotta.

• 1:12:10Conan O'Brien?

  Let's get a rewrite on that.

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  I wish I had done it on purpose. It was just like, I couldn't hold it anymore.

• 1:12:21Conan O'Brien?

  You do what you had to do.

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  I was like, black jeans, the Queen's box, they're not gonna care. Like, also like.

• 1:12:28Conan O'Brien?

  A little Ace Sandberg here, hello.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  I'm not like, unknown in the UK, so.

• 1:12:36Conan O'Brien?

  You're a huge star in the UK.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  Full Jack Black. I'm not, uh, an, a, no, nah. So we show up, walk in, immediately, you can't wear those pants. I was just like, oh no, fuck, I fucked, I fucked Lauren, I ruined his vacation. And they were like, no, no, it's fine. You just have to put on some of our Wimbledon brand khakis.

• 1:12:58Conan O'Brien?

  Of course.

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  So they take me into a building, into a giant conference room, empty, with like, five pairs of Wimbledon brand khakis on the table. And they're like, yeah, I wish everyone's fit, and then left. And I was like, I guess I'll get into my underwear. So I change out of my jeans into the Wimbledon khakis. They're not a nice fit.

• 1:13:21Conan O'Brien?

  No, not flattering fit.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Not flattering, I'm not a khaki guy at this point. And, you know, hugging in all the wrong places, but I'm like, you know, it's for Lauren. So come back out, they're like, oh, thank you so much, sorry about that, sorry. I'm like, yeah, it's fine. Walk out to the Queen's box, sit down, and as we sit, there's like, ladies and gentlemen, uh, the person's hurt and then retired, the match is canceled. Enjoy mixed doubles. And everyone in the royal box stands up and leaves. And we're just like, should we get some tea?

• 1:13:55Conan O'Brien?

  So your autobiography will be entitled, Khakis for No Reason.

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  Khakis for No Reason, or like.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  Piece of shit.

• 1:14:04Conan O'Brien?

  What? I don't like that punitive inner voice you have.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Hughes is a fucking piece of shit.

• 1:14:09Conan O'Brien?

  No. But like little font? So ellipses. No. Little tiny font.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  Hughes is a piece of shit.

• 1:14:17Conan O'Brien?

  No, Andy, the point is you were a piece of shit. In the past, but now? In the past, but that was six months ago.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  I was gonna ask you the timeline.

• 1:14:26Conan O'Brien?

  Super late.

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  I was like, give me the timeline.

• 1:14:29Conan O'Brien?

  You pulled it out. Andy Samberg, I'm gonna let you go. Congratulations on everything. And this has been, I don't know, someone, I need to pay someone because this was so much fun. So just name your amount and we'll... Yeah, a check box.

• 1:14:48Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, I got off easy, okay. All right, I do have funds, you know. Andy Samberg, God bless you. Thank you, Conan.

• 1:14:57Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Obsession, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:16:07Speaker 05

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• 1:16:26Speaker 01

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• 1:16:38Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka Seltzer, you'll probably think heartburn, right?

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:16:41Conan O'Brien?

  Well, did you know Alka Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka Seltzer Cold?

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:16:47Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that, David?

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  No, but I feel like we need it.

• 1:16:49Conan O'Brien?

  Why didn't you know that, David?

• 1:16:51Speaker 01

  I know you expect me to know everything.

• 1:16:53Conan O'Brien?

  I knew this.

• 1:16:53Speaker 01

  Did you?

• 1:16:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka Seltzer Cold into the water.

• 1:17:00Speaker 01

  You do, yeah.

• 1:17:01Conan O'Brien?

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