Ask, Tell, Confess: WTF?! Some Things Should Stay Secrets

This Ask, Tell, Confess compilation is packed with some of the wildest, most unhinged listener confessions we've ever aired. From pegging disasters and office bathroom confessions to explosive "ooey gooey" mishaps and one unforgettable night with a very grateful granny, these stories prove that nothing is off-limits in the Coven. You'll hear tales of porn addictions, stall peeping, ping-pong-ball tricks, accidental self-inflicted disasters, embarrassing bathroom moments, questionable kinks, and plenty of confessions that should've probably stayed secret. If you're new to ATC, welcome to the chaos. If you've been here from the beginning, get ready to relive some of the funniest, nastiest, most outrageous confessions the Coven has ever sent our way. You've been warned, babes. Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Dumbblondepod

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Bunnie XO?

  Hello friends, welcome back to another

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 0:31Bunnie XO?

  You guys don't put out, I'm tired of it. You've at least seen my butthole.

• 0:38Speaker 02

  We're not going down this route again. It's fucking deja vu every time with you guys.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Said shut the fuck up.

• 0:46Bunnie XO?

  Hi man, when are you gonna show us your butthole?

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Did you ever go look at it the other day?

• 0:51Speaker 03

  No, I'm just not that flexible anymore. I gotta do some stretching.

• 0:54Bunnie XO?

  You gotta squat over a mirror. Put the video, put the camera on the floor and stand over it and

• 1:04Bunnie XO?

  just spread it dude.

• 1:08Bunnie XO?

  Isn't hairy? Do you have a little Peter Cotton tail? A little black Peter Cotton tail? Just a little, a little.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Dude, he's so hairless.

• 1:14Bunnie XO?

  It looks like a little cotton balls.

• 1:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, I, I have hair, just not as much as that I've seen on other people where I'm like, oh, I don't know how, I don't have that.

• 1:23Bunnie XO?

  Back hair.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  No back hair.

• 1:25Bunnie XO?

  Good, thank God.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  He looks like a seal.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  I'm, yeah, I'm hairless.

• 1:28Bunnie XO?

  No, he's like me, we're both hairless.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  You guys are very similar in skin texture, it's wild.

• 1:33Bunnie XO?

  There's so many pornos that cater to like stepmother, stepson, stepdaughter, like

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Mother-in-law, yeah.

• 1:41Bunnie XO?

  Like it's all fucking weird.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Why we stop fucking family?

• 1:43Bunnie XO?

  It's a weird niche. I could never get into that. I like, I like people that are oiled up. That's my thing.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  That's

• 1:49Bunnie XO?

  I'm not into family members.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  She looks very oily people.

• 1:52Bunnie XO?

  Yes, oh, there's nothing better than watching two oiled up bodies slap skins. It is so exhilarating. Yeah. Love it.

• 2:08Bunnie XO?

  Ah. I make it shiny. All right, well, we're in LA and we are doing Ask Talk Fest. When I was 16, I met a neighbor guy. He was two years older than me and we started hooking up. It was a short summer fling, never seen him again myself, only heard rumors around town about him because he was a man whore. Fast forward 15 years later, my mother, she's 20 years older than me, said, I've been seeing a guy who's younger. His name is Dustin. Of course, my brain goes to this guy back in the day. I asked her to show me his Facebook picture and it was him.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:49Bunnie XO?

  I told my mom, like, dude, I fucked with him back in the day and I was so grossed out. Two months went by and my mom ended up getting herpes from him. So gross and no worries, I'm clean.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Mom got the herp?

• 3:07Bunnie XO?

  The gift that keeps on giving.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  I had this guy who I used to peg. He lived in his mom's apartment, but he had all the hardware. So I'm going to town on him because I used to get into it. Anything for some cash. I guess I'm a freak. So I'm going to town and he literally shit all over the place. I'm not kidding. It was the most disgusting thing in my life. His whole room smelled. It was all over the place, even on me. I took the hottest, longest shower ever, then I never, ever answered his calls again. Staying anonymous.

• 3:41Bunnie XO?

  My question is, was it explosive diarrhea? Like, how did it go everywhere like that? If it was a log, I could understand or like little.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  I'd rather have a log.

• 3:49Bunnie XO?

  I'd rather have little, little tiny shit balls.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Soda and you open it, that's similar to.

• 3:55Bunnie XO?

  Did she shake him?

• 3:56Speaker 01

  I mean, if you're fucking him.

• 3:58Bunnie XO?

  Okay, but before you get anal, you're supposed to clean your asshole out.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  I doubt someone who's paying for it thought that far ahead.

• 4:07Bunnie XO?

  What do you mean? That's they're used to it. They know what happens.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. I feel like he was like, you know what? I'm just gonna let it ride.

• 4:15Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 4:18Bunnie XO?

  Let it ride.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've talked about pegging way too much today. This is weird.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Would you peg Jason?

• 4:23Speaker 01

  He won't let me.

• 4:25Bunnie XO?

  Would you if he let you?

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  He would never, he won't even let me see his butthole.

• 4:45Bunnie XO?

  Have you guys ever seen Beauty and the Beast? And that one part where she says something and he goes, "Hmm." That is exactly what Haley just did, dude. It was so funny, dude. And it only gets weirder from here. I entered a new job a few weeks ago. One I had been avoiding desperately for a long time, but due to financial problems with my family, I was forced to take it. Simultaneously, I also had a relapse with porn, with a porn addiction I thought I'd gotten rid of. Often, I use my lunch breaks to watch porn in the restrooms and masturbate. Maybe it's the stress, anxiety, or maybe it's just for the thrills. I don't know.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  He's just whacking off in the bathroom?

• 5:26Bunnie XO?

  Just whacking off at work in the bathroom. What kind of dog is this? It gets better, it gets better. I don't know whose idea it was to make the walls dividing the stalls out of glass plastered with cheap plastic. Last week, I noticed there are several scratches on the plastic, making little holes that allow you to peep into the next stall. Since then, I have been fighting the urge to peep in. There was never someone there, but I still felt anxious about it. Today, there actually was someone there for the first time. Even before leaving my desk, I told myself I wouldn't even consider the idea that I would just do the usual.

• 6:10Bunnie XO?

  But as soon as I saw that girl enter, I gave in. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking, but I still touched myself when I saw her ass. After coming, I felt like shit immediately. I can't believe I went through with it, and even hours after the fact, I'm still in shock and disappointed at myself.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Is this a girl talking or a guy?

• 6:36Bunnie XO?

  It could be a community bathroom. I'm not sure. I don't know. They didn't give me those details.

• 6:44Bunnie XO?

  Let me check again. Let me, let me make sure. Hold on, because I deleted it after I read it.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 6:50Bunnie XO?

  That one's rough, right?

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 6:56Bunnie XO?

  Mimi, Mimi said alright.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  I'm so confused. You literally have a desk job and you're whacking it?

• 7:05Bunnie XO?

  It's a female, so it's another female. Does that make it better?

• 7:10Speaker 01

  A little.

• 7:10Bunnie XO?

  No, no it doesn't.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  A little?

• 7:13Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Just because I feel, I don't know, with a man and.

• 7:16Bunnie XO?

  Haley, you're going to the bathroom to take a dump and somebody's flicking the bean right next to you. How you feeling?

• 7:22Speaker 02

  I'd rather have a girl flicking the bean than a guy jacking off.

• 7:25Bunnie XO?

  It's still fucking creepy as shit.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  I'm not saying it's not fucking weird.

• 7:28Bunnie XO?

  Let me see somebody fucking sticking their eyeball through, okay? I'm gonna fucking poke, I'll get an ice pick and fucking shove it through. Like, that's crazy.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  You're gonna watch me poo and just fucking flick the bean?

• 7:41Bunnie XO?

  Just fucking, just, and, I mean, are we not using a vibrator?

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Are we going to?

• 7:46Bunnie XO?

  That's crazy.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Acoustic bus?

• 7:48Bunnie XO?

  No, I can't do that.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Bro, acoustic?

• 7:51Bunnie XO?

  Strumming the fucking old.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Is that how you would do it?

• 7:54Bunnie XO?

  It's too slow.

• 8:00Bunnie XO?

  No, girls.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  That's so wide.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  It's not that big.

• 8:04Bunnie XO?

  Who's pussy is doing this, Jaime? Is there a camera on Jaime? Because the, the action that he's making right now is insane. Hey, Jaime, you have a girlfriend. How do you fucking play with her knob?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Is that what you do to her?

• 8:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, do it.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Break it down?

• 8:20Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yes. Talk loud.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  Got a shower first, myself. Not her, I don't really care. I kinda like a little musk. You know, I don't, I don't mind.

• 8:31Bunnie XO?

  Us.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  I love it. Yeah. And, uh.

• 8:35Bunnie XO?

  Why do guys like that?

• 8:37Speaker 03

  I don't, you know.

• 8:38Bunnie XO?

  Maybe it's the pheromones.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  I think so. There's a certain scent that comes off of.

• 8:43Bunnie XO?

  It's like animalistic.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Yes, where I'm just like, I'm in there.

• 8:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Um.

• 8:48Bunnie XO?

  Cat?

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I don't really remember how I do my hands and stuff, but um, I do make sure that's rule number one, make sure they're clean. Hands are clean.

• 8:56Bunnie XO?

  Good job.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Always. And then, um, you've got to definitely work on the outside, then inside.

• 9:03Bunnie XO?

  Okay, but how are you doing it? Because the way you were fucking strumming the banjo was crazy.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  I was thinking if I were to strum it like a guitar, so I was holding it like this, I was like.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Why is it so wide?

• 9:13Bunnie XO?

  Have you ever seen a girl play with herself?

• 9:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:17Bunnie XO?

  Okay. She's not strumming the fucking.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're not going like this. Yeah.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  No, no, no, it's more like a.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, keep your hands.

• 9:25Bunnie XO?

  It's more like a.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  There you go. There you go. There you go. There you go. Attaboy.

• 9:33Bunnie XO?

  I was feeling really horny and had been watching MILF and big nipple porn and had been going from a semi to raging boner for close to two hours.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Two hours?

• 9:43Bunnie XO?

  I was in the living room. Isn't that called gooning? Like when you start, when you're whacking off for that long, like having marathons, right?

• 9:50Speaker 02

  I think that's goo- gooning in general is just playing, playing with yourself. Yeah.

• 9:56Bunnie XO?

  I ambied off to bed and was watching C I M videos. I don't know what that means. Slowly stroking my cock. The thought of sucking my own cock really turned me on, but alas, I lack the flexibility. I have a reasonable length, six and a half inches and good girth, so I've been told. So I lubed up my cock, folded a pillow in two and placed it under my butt and slowly stroked myself whilst looking at my gorgeous cock. Well, it is to me and watching porn. Compilations. Edging myself over and over. Alternating between slow hard strokes and gently massaging around the tip. Getting turned on by the amazing techniques of the women imagining it was my cock and they

• 10:39Bunnie XO?

  were working their talents on and then it happened. I was just edging myself again with a tight grip, slow stroking, pulling down to the base, squeezing harder. When Angela White, shout out Angela White, we love you, baby. When Angela White was the next in my clip, in the clip. My cock got harder watching her beautiful mouth devouring the cock. My hips started to buck involuntarily. I gripped the base of my cock. I'm sorry, I'm trying.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  You guys, someone's getting off to this tonight.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  The censored YouTube videos just gonna be beep, beep, beep.

• 11:17Bunnie XO?

  Uh, it's gonna be titled, I'm gonna title it, "The Most Explicit Confession We've Had."

• 11:23Speaker 01

  God.

• 11:23Bunnie XO?

  My cock got harder watching her beautiful, blah, blah, blah. Um, I gripped the base of my cock in a death grip, trying to hold back the mounting pressure, my cock pulsing. I couldn't stop it. My cock was pointing directly at my face and multiple jets of cum shot out, landing on my face and in my mouth and over my chest. I'm used to it on my chest and face, it's happened before. I was surprised how much got in my mouth. Wouldn't have happened if I'd have kept my mouth shut. But there I was, mouth open, tongue out. I swallowed everything that landed in my mouth and licked my lips to remove what landed on them. My cock remained hard.

• 12:04Bunnie XO?

  I wiped myself down, lubed up again, this time, this fucking guy has stamina, alright? I wiped myself down, lubed up again, and this time stroking my, much faster, really going to town on myself, watching the pace of the video. This time, when I felt I was going to come, I just focused on my cock, listening to the starlet slurping and moaning on the cock. My mouth open, tongue out. I raised my hips and moved my head as close as I could and came again, hard. It felt good. My aim wasn't great, but managed to get some in my mouth again. I moved what landed on my chin into my mouth and rubbed what landed on my chest into my skin.

• 12:47Bunnie XO?

  I'm laying, covering sweat and my own cum. I think I've unlocked a new kink.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  I feel like I should have paid to have heard that.

• 12:59Bunnie XO?

  Imagine taking a shot every time she said cock.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  I'd be so drunk right now.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Like you take a shot every time she says cock and I take a shot every time she says cup.

• 13:13Bunnie XO?

  We'd be so fucked up.

• 13:17Bunnie XO?

  Listen, thank you guys. Thank you. We asked for details and you guys, you guys delivered. Fucking details. Alright, I'm good. Between that and Christina's, let's put it in the middle. Yeah, Haley said not so much. Yeah, tone it, tone it down. That was so funny, maybe. The fuck?

• 13:38Speaker 01

  He scooped it in at the end.

• 13:40Bunnie XO?

  Dude, I mean, you, have you guys ever tasted your own vagina? No. Oh, I have.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know, like, I guess technically, like, Jason would kiss me after.

• 13:51Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah, that's fucking hot. Not you guys, but just that, yeah.

• 14:03Bunnie XO?

  I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant? I didn't fucking mean it like that. But there might be a book too. If this one does good enough, maybe I'll write a part do. Alright, who's gonna kick this off? Please don't ever do that with your eyebrows again. Don't ever do that with your. What? I know it wasn't me because I had botox.

• 14:23Bunnie XO?

  I mean, you don't ever do that again. What'd you do? What'd she do? Bro.

• 14:35Bunnie XO?

  The hell?

• 14:38Bunnie XO?

  I had to look away for a moment. It was bad, dude. What is it? You have to wait till her face completely relaxes for her to do it again.

• 14:49Bunnie XO?

  She looked like Burt from Burt and Ernie, dude. It was like, she made, she, she made her eyebrows twerk. Like, it was crazy.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  Like Nacho Libre?

• 15:00Bunnie XO?

  Bro, I don't know what she did. I don't know what she did, but holy shit.

• 15:09Bunnie XO?

  I need to see it.

• 15:12Bunnie XO?

  Dude.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  We're all delirious.

• 15:14Bunnie XO?

  Alright, we're gonna go back to Haley. Would you like to kick this off?

• 15:18Speaker 02

  Sure, I'll go.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Is this what you feel like with me and?

• 15:24Bunnie XO?

  Got it. Got it. Okay.

• 15:31Bunnie XO?

  Yay, sorry.

• 15:36Bunnie XO?

  I get, I get how Mimi feels. My face hurts.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, how Mimi feels.

• 15:42Bunnie XO?

  She like made eye contact with me.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  That's what, you can't make eye contact with her, with her.

• 15:48Bunnie XO?

  No, she did her, the eyebrow thing and made eye contact with me. Like, hold on, I'm gonna try to do it, but I have so much botox on my face. She was like.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Why did it feel like it was moving so much?

• 16:05Bunnie XO?

  Fred, this is me moving mine.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Hers went like up here, though.

• 16:08Bunnie XO?

  I can't. This is why I will never have botox.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Bro. You need to see this.

• 16:13Bunnie XO?

  You don't need it yet. I can't. No, it's one of those things she has to be completely relaxed to do, because it was. I'm gonna pass out.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  When I was nineteen, we lived next door to an older lady. Um, she was in her late seventies. I used to go over and help her mow and do her trash and pick up around the house because she was disabled and had to move around via wheelchair. She was, uh, wasn't able to walk for very long, but one evening when I was helping her clean, she made a comment about how she missed having a man around the house and how thankful she was to have my help. That night, during conversation about my love life, she stated that she hadn't had any physical touches in over twenty years and that all she had was a vibrator. We both laughed and I noticed her staring down at my bulge multiple times. I was wearing gym shorts. And I knew instantly that she would probably never experience dick again in her lifetime.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  So I outright offered her some. I said, well, I'm only next door. I can provide whatever you need whenever. That was enough for her. At first she was shy, but eventually said to come back later that she would be ready. She called me over.

• 17:20Bunnie XO?

  She had to shave that old hairy bush.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, everything shower for sure. She called me over around 11pm. I had a key to her door, so I walked right into her in the bedroom. She was already laying there fully naked. I was very young and fully bricked when I saw her. I got into her bed, wrapped her legs around my waist and slowly slid it in.

• 17:38Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  She was so tight, but opened up to me real quick. She was incredibly wet and shaking like a leaf.

• 17:49Bunnie XO?

  At first it started off like the Garth Brooks song where he talks about banging the old lady and then it turned into a straight up porn.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Yep, they fucked for 45 minutes. That was one of the best sexual experiences of my life. Sadly, she passed away a year later. We only ever fucked that one night. She called the next day to said she slept, to tell me she slept like a baby with my load in her. I'm 29 and I still love fucking old women.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  The last part was what got me.

• 18:22Bunnie XO?

  Progressively got really worse. Shout out to Granny for getting her fucking rocks off before she passed away. We love that for her. Uh, you know, listen, we don't ever yuck anybody's yum.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 18:33Bunnie XO?

  So we appreciate the dickin'. Okay, we appreciate the Charles dickin'. Okay? It's a Christmas story. That's a Christmas story.

• 18:46Bunnie XO?

  What? No, I've heard the complete opposite that your pussy lips fucking go inside.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, it's not this, like.

• 18:54Bunnie XO?

  I don't want to. My pussy lips disappeared after IVF.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Prove it.

• 19:00Bunnie XO?

  Open it right now. You guys see my pussy all the time. Every time I'm fucking undressed.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Haven't seen it in a minute.

• 19:04Bunnie XO?

  So I got a story for you guys real quick before we wrap this up.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I heard about that. You had something exciting.

• 19:09Bunnie XO?

  I don't know if it was exciting.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 19:11Bunnie XO?

  Probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 19:14Bunnie XO?

  So every week we have people come to help us clean the house. I don't know what the correct, the correct terminology is. House cleaners?

• 19:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:24Bunnie XO?

  Okay, we have house cleaners come once a week to clean. They have been cleaning our house for six years. I love these ladies. These are my little nuggets. Like, I love them so much. We're like, every time they come in, hey, how are you? Like, we talk to them, we love them. And I told you guys in the beginning of this podcast, I've been taking those new greens. So I literally shit every time. If I drink something, it runs right through me and I shit, you know? So I'm in the middle of cooking lunch and all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, my God, I have to get to a bathroom. So I had to run to the bathroom in the front of the house, which I never go to. I always go in my bathroom. But this time, nobody was around. Everybody was upstairs. So I was like, okay, I'm just

• 20:09Bunnie XO?

  gonna go in this bathroom and drop a load and, you know, wash my hands and finish cooking. So anyways, fucking, I go in there, minding my business, just scrolling, you know? Next thing I know, the door flies open. Chachi comes barreling in. But it wasn't just Chachi that came barreling in. It was one of the girls that had never been to our house before comes barreling in while Chachi looks like he's chasing her, but he's not. He's trying to get into the bathroom with me. This woman was so scared that mid loaf, she sat on my lap.

• 20:50Bunnie XO?

  While I have a turd hanging out.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  What?

• 20:57Bunnie XO?

  We were eye to eye.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  What do you mean she said on your lap?

• 21:02Bunnie XO?

  We're right here.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 21:04Bunnie XO?

  She opened the door, came up against the wall and is in my lap, right here. Cause there's not room in that bathroom.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 21:09Bunnie XO?

  So we're this close to each other while I'm sitting on the toilet. And I just, I'm looking at her.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh.

• 21:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, and it smelled. Okay, and I'm looking at her eyes and I'm looking at her eyes and all I could muster up the courage to say was, you're fine. Get out. Hold on. You're fine. Get out.

• 21:39Bunnie XO?

  I said it four times in the most calmest tone that you could think of.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  She wasn't getting it?

• 21:46Bunnie XO?

  She was staring, we were deadlocked. It took her a minute to register what was going on.

• 21:54Bunnie XO?

  And I had to say it four times.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  What?

• 21:56Bunnie XO?

  Before she just stood there? And stared at me, breathing in, basking in the ambiance.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  I got a story. This person wants to be kept anonymous.

• 22:07Bunnie XO?

  Oh, that means it's good. Wait, juicy.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  She is an RN.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  So I was working urgent care and had a.

• 22:19Bunnie XO?

  We're listening. We're listening.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  What is happening?

• 22:23Speaker 01

  We started making faces. I'm sorry.

• 22:25Bunnie XO?

  We got caught in the moment.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  We can't sit in class.

• 22:27Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  No, you guys are never allowed to be in class.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  We're too close right now.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  You'd be passing notes, the whole class. I'm literally like the mom of the group.

• 22:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  We would let them cross the street earlier and these two take off. Green light, car's coming.

• 22:43Bunnie XO?

  We looked back, I said, should we wait? She said, no, they left us. I said, we left them. She's like, I know, I just like to gaslight them.

• 22:54Bunnie XO?

  It keeps on walking.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  No, but they did wait. They're good.

• 23:00Bunnie XO?

  Don't make me laugh, because every time I laugh, my chair. Every time. This chair sucks. Alright, here we go. Am I, am I good, Jaime? I'm sorry, dude. I'm not doing it on purpose.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  Can you imagine you and the guest tomorrow?

• 23:13Bunnie XO?

  No, I can't sit like, I will not sit like this.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  I would never, I would never. Which is really funny.

• 23:17Bunnie XO?

  Fuck no.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  I can't, I'm not gonna look at you.

• 23:20Bunnie XO?

  Okay, don't. Alright, go ahead. Sorry. I'm proud of us for going to the gym and I, we've had long days since Europe. We have had long days.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  You're up.

• 23:31Bunnie XO?

  Okay, we have had a long fucking day. I think we're delirious at this point.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  I can't handle this.

• 23:36Bunnie XO?

  Alright.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be so thankful this is all set up tomorrow morning, though, because that means I get to sleep in a little longer. You're welcome. Okay, so this one wants to be kept anonymous. She is an RN, so I was working urgent care and had a young girl come in. Hate you both.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  I'm just gonna continue. Under eighteen, but at least fifteen years old. Saying she had bad stomach cramps.

• 24:04Bunnie XO?

  I'm s-

• 24:08Bunnie XO?

  You don't understand what she just did.

• 24:14Bunnie XO?

  I'm gonna cry.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  I am crying.

• 24:16Bunnie XO?

  You don't understand what she just did. I'm crying.

• 24:26Bunnie XO?

  We both went like this. We both went like this. I swear to God, we were both like trying not to look, and then we both go. Then our eyes met. It was so funny, dude.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  We just clicked that.

• 24:40Bunnie XO?

  Alright, alright.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  I'm just gonna look over here.

• 24:42Bunnie XO?

  Go ahead.

• 24:49Bunnie XO?

  She's so mad at us. Mom is so mad at us.

• 24:54Bunnie XO?

  Alright.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  You're fifteen.

• 24:59Bunnie XO?

  I'm so sorry to whoever's story this is, dude. We shouldn't have even filmed right now. We're both, we're all so fucking.

• 25:06Bunnie XO?

  We're all so delirious.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Mimi.

• 25:16Bunnie XO?

  poop makes people laugh.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  It does.

• 25:19Bunnie XO?

  I love a good poop story.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  How you do.

• 25:21Bunnie XO?

  I do.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  I love the story.

• 25:23Bunnie XO?

  Like poop pranks are fucking funny, dude.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  Can I read an Ask Tell Confess that someone gave to me specifically because it had to do with poop?

• 25:30Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  All right, here it goes.

• 25:33Bunnie XO?

  She's like, I got it locked and loaded.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  I do. It literally says, hey ladies, this is a tell just for Haley. It involves poop and buttholes. So my boyfriend likes for me to wear a strap on and ping his butthole from time to time. Okay, no biggie. It is a little awkward, but whatever. He likes it. Well, where the situation comes in is that when his prostate is stimulated and he comes from the stimulation, he shits all over the place. Full blown, hot, ooey gooey, ripe ass shit, blowing out his asshole.

• 26:04Bunnie XO?

  Ooey gooey? Who describes poop as ooey gooey? I describe brownies as ooey gooey, not shit.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Ooh, ugh. I don't like ooey gooey. The last time we did this, there was shit all over the bed, his ass, me, the strap on.

• 26:19Bunnie XO?

  Why are they doing it so much? Why is it a repeated?

• 26:23Speaker 01

  That was the last time.

• 26:24Bunnie XO?

  Why is it a repeated adventure? Do they think it's gonna get better every time? Maybe it hits like a reflex in his butthole and if he can finally release everything. He needs to do an enema before.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  No, literally, I'm reading down more and it says, uh, uh, I've told him going forward, if he ever wants his butthole poked again, he will need to clean it out first. Enemas are your friend. Amy.

• 26:49Bunnie XO?

  Thanks, Amy.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Amy.

• 26:50Bunnie XO?

  I didn't need the ooey gooey.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  You left that out.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Ooey gooey.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  The adjectives you use for wild.

• 26:56Bunnie XO?

  Listen, after the first time somebody just shits ooey gooey turds everywhere, I'm gonna not wanna fuck him with a strap on.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Let's not do it again.

• 27:03Bunnie XO?

  I would get the ick so bad.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, there's no way, dude.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  When I was 18 years old, I had my first serious boyfriend. I'm pretty much one of those people that's down to explore anything at the time. Well, I decided to let him insert ping pong balls into my butt.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Why? I don't know, but here we are. Ping pong balls from Beer Pong. The night before, yes, we watched them, washed them, you weirdos, clearly. Uh, anywho, they're in there, three of them, in fact. Always fun and games, and then it came time to take them out. Yep, here comes one, here comes two, but however, three would not come out. It was fully stuck and I immediately started to panic as one does. We start to try to lube me up and insert fingers squatting as low as I could possibly go. And it would not come out and I don't know what happened next. The next few minutes, sheer panic.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  And the sheer will of hearing wild ER stories. I was not about to be one of those. The ball finally came out and to this day, do not insert any foreign objects near my ass ever.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Like a human gumball machine?

• 28:23Bunnie XO?

  Um, I have had the, uh, privilege of watching ping pong balls get shot out of a vagina.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Lucky.

• 28:32Bunnie XO?

  But never an asshole.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  How far do they go?

• 28:36Bunnie XO?

  They paint, they come out, oh.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  Do they make a sound?

• 28:39Bunnie XO?

  A ping pong ball in a vagina? Like, I'm talking like.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  You remember those toys as a kid, you'd stick them in a ball and then squeeze them?

• 28:46Bunnie XO?

  They come out full force. Like, I'm telling you, these girls would shoot them out of their vagina on stage.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Google that later, I would like to see.

• 28:52Bunnie XO?

  Palomino Club, shout out to Palomino Club in Las Vegas. They get crazy. That's the same place I saw the dude fuck the watermelon.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 28:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, shit gets crazy upstairs and downstairs.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  Why have we never gone there?

• 29:04Bunnie XO?

  I told you guys about the dude humping the watermelon. I've told this story before on the podcast.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  You don't remember the watermelon fucker?

• 29:12Bunnie XO?

  I don't know, maybe, but we went to go see male dancers one night, me and Tosh. And we went downstairs, upstairs, they were shooting ping pong balls out of their vaginas. And then downstairs, this guy is doing this dance. He comes out, he's hot, getting it going. Literally goes down to like dive on the stage and do that thing that like strippers do.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:33Bunnie XO?

  Sticks his weener in a frickin' watermelon and just starts going to town on the watermelon on stage.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  Did he finish?

• 29:41Bunnie XO?

  I don't know.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Was it watermelon season?

• 29:44Bunnie XO?

  I'm sure. I wonder if it was seedless or not. Cause what if you got a seed stuck in the. Okay, but how do you even think of like, I'm, you know what I think, do you ever look at things that are not vaginas and think I could stick my dick in that?

• 29:58Speaker 03

  I've definitely a passing thought, but I don't, I don't dwell on it.

• 30:01Bunnie XO?

  I do.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  It does pass my.

• 30:04Bunnie XO?

  I feel like most guys do.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  I do and I don't have a penis.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 30:08Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  You just wonder.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  You ever saw a hole and been like, if I had a dick, I'd stick it in there?

• 30:12Bunnie XO?

  No, it depends on what the hole is. No, I don't look at every hole like that.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  No, not every hole.

• 30:17Bunnie XO?

  You can't be sticking your dick in every hole.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 30:20Bunnie XO?

  All right.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  There are some holes though, that look tempting. I was dating this guy for about six months, nice guy. Um, unbeknownst to me, he had been cheating on me the whole time via anal fisting on a site called FetLife. I was unfamiliar with this site at the time when all of this went down. This was like a year ago. My friend found his profile on Facebook dating and his bio, which I also didn't know he had sadly, referenced his BDSM stuff and what he was looking for, which was referenced into the FetLife thing. So we looked onto that site. Um, she said, Hey girl, isn't this your boyfriend? Sure was for the next five minutes. Me and the girlfriends went down the rabbit hole,

• 31:02Speaker 01

  easily found him on the site and he had been looking for anal fisting people from this site.

• 31:08Bunnie XO?

  He wanted to get fisted or he wanted to put his fist in a noose?

• 31:16Speaker 01

  I don't know. We found him in a local meetup group looking for, oh, here we go. We found out him in a local meetup group looking to host, to do thing, do this. After he got off of work, we didn't live together and he got off work at 1:00 AM. So I would have no way of knowing. When I confronted him, he admitted it and we ended things immediately. What I also find interesting is that our relationship was very vanilla. None of this BDSM inserts ever came up and he seemed really normal. He was a good boyfriend, so I would have never thought. Yeah.

• 31:57Bunnie XO?

  Somebody probably shamed him at an early age for a kink that he had. And so he had to mask being a normal person in a relationship and then have his kinky, separate fantasy life.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  In the closet type thing.

• 32:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. Damn dude, getting fisted is rough, man.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  She said it was.

• 32:12Bunnie XO?

  I can't even poop. I couldn't imagine getting fisted in my butthole, especially right now with my fucking hemorrhoid. God, Clifford, Clifford. I named him Clifford. Okay.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  Not mine, but my sister's story. And she's no longer with us, so I'm gonna tell it. This is only for you, cuz you like shit and buttholes.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  She said, my sister had a thing with this guy, hideous in my opinion. I was 21 at the time. We were all drinking and my sister's friend ends up walking me home. My sister had a migraine. She gets in her purse and takes what she thought is Tylenol.

• 32:47Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  They were laxatives. Her and dude end up doing the deed. I was not there for this, but as my sister told it, he was coming and said, wow, you're so wet. Then said, do you smell shit? My sister shit his whole bed and it was graphic. She ran to the bathroom and threw herself in the shower to wash the shit off. She came out to him, nowhere to be seen with a Walmart bag on top, her shoes with her shit filled pants and a sticky note that said, please don't contact me again.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  The sticky note? You could have just left. I think she would have known.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Sticky note's wild. How did you know where a sticky note was?

• 33:32Bunnie XO?

  She was in his house.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Get bored, he'd go.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Oh, that was, oh, yeah, it was his house.

• 33:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  He left his.

• 33:41Speaker 02

  That's even crazier. Went on a drive.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  I gotta go. He said, I need a cig. Yeah.

• 33:47Bunnie XO?

  My thing is, is I don't care how fucking much diarrhea I have. I know when it's coming out.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, you didn't know that that was.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  She was drinking. She was drinking and.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Laxative.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  That's.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  She probably felt like she was just like finishing and it was from a different hole.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Oh, gosh. You know how, okay, not cuz that he fucked the shit into her.

• 34:20Bunnie XO?

  Because it went on her pussy. Were they doing anal? Were they doing anal?

• 34:26Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 34:26Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I have so many questions.

• 34:30Bunnie XO?

  I have so many. Buddy going.

• 34:35Bunnie XO?

  I mean, I, I'm really into this story. I gotta know.

• 34:41Bunnie XO?

  I started a fuck buddy situationship after getting out of a bad relationship. My friends with benefit was a dreamy six, two bartender I worked with at the time. He was hot. He had confidence and a swagger I couldn't deny. He bragged at how he loved going down on women and promised when I got to experience that, it would change my world. That with the fact that he had a big dick. I was genuinely giddy when the time came to experience this alleged mind blowing experience. We're in my bed and he starts making his way down south. He's butt ass naked, fully bricked up, and he starts his magic. I'm laying there trying to get into it because I, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. And then it happened.

• 35:27Bunnie XO?

  He farted. One long poof. And it just kept going like nothing happened. And he just kept going like nothing happened. It smelled very bad and I didn't know what to do. I pushed myself up and said, I didn't think I could get into this, into the right mood. And he said, we should chill out for a bit. He was offended and then told me that maybe, just maybe I had a weird vagina. No, bro. Maybe you should make an effort to hold it in when you've talked such a big game.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Was he in like sniper position or?

• 36:02Bunnie XO?

  I think he was crouching tiger.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Crouching tiger. Oh, yeah. That'll do it.

• 36:19Bunnie XO?

  Stop.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 36:20Bunnie XO?

  Okay, first of all, ladies, if a man tells you he can eat pussy, he cannot.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 36:26Bunnie XO?

  Any dude that brags about eating the cat and being a fucking a pro at it does not, can't even find the knob. All right. They're liars. I've, trust me. They don't know what they're fucking talking about. Secondly, normally men who have big dicks and swagger and are super hot are just gonna be a fucking letdown.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:51Bunnie XO?

  Not one of them is gonna be a great story to write home about unless you just fuck him and leave and never talk to him again. Other than that, the majority of the time, they are a disappointment. Speaking from experience. So.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:06Bunnie XO?

  I had one time.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm sad.

• 37:10Bunnie XO?

  Say it.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Ready?

• 37:12Bunnie XO?

  I'm thirsty. One time, there was this guy, we used to call him Carlos Asada, cuz he was.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone.

• 37:23Bunnie XO?

  Happy Cinco de Mayo. So fitting. Alright, so we called him Carlos Asada because he was so hot. I'm talking like, oh my God, this dude was just unbelievably hot and just perfect body, in shape, beautiful face. And one night, I finally got to take him for a spin and we went to his house and I had been drinking tequila and all that stuff. Anyways, I go down on him and he smells so bad, so fucking bad, to the point where I didn't even want to have sex with him. I just ended up sucking him off. I get in my car to go home and all I can smell is that smell of him and I'm literally on the 215 with a fucking bag from

• 38:06Bunnie XO?

  Smith's, a grocery bag, projectile vomiting as I'm driving down the freeway because he smelled so bad.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Nada on the Asada.

• 38:20Bunnie XO?

  Yes. Nada on the Asada, baby. I'm telling you. Oh, no.