116: Resilience and Perseverance: The Inspiring Story of Luke Hopkins

WARNING: This episode's content contains discussions on attempted suicide and suicide prevention. In today's episode, Luke Hopkins opens up about overcoming adversity and finding purpose and his 'why' through family challenges. Luke’s story is one of resilience, personal growth, and showing up when it matters most. A powerful listen for anyone facing tough times. Suicide Prevention. We all have a role to play. Together, we can save lives. https://sprc.org/ CHAPTERS: 01:29 Living in the Moment: Embracing Life's Journey 03:29 The Power of Community and Hosting 10:46 Navigating Positivity and Boundaries 15:08 Luke's Ironman Journey and Family Support 33:58 Defining Greatness: A Personal Perspective 36:38 Pursuing Your Best: A Shift in Mindset 41:29 A Family's Struggle: Overcoming Adversity 47:25 Finding Purpose: A Journey Through Hardship 59:55 The Power of Resilience: Embracing Challenges 01:06:29 Commitment and Perseverance: Keys to Success 01:15:02 Conclusion: Reflections and Final Thoughts MENTIONS: Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey https://www.amazon.com/Greenlights-Matthew-McConaughey/dp/0593139135 The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins https://shorturl.at/JCOSB Grit by Angela Duckworth https://www.amazon.com/Grit-Passion-Perseverance-Angela-Duckworth/dp/1501111108 CONNECT: Become a BPN member FOR FREE - Unlock 20% off FOR LIFE https://www.bareperformancenutrition.com/pages/bpn-membership?srsltid=AfmBOorlpjVeag2kkt3eZ5UpWcFA5Bb2v5V_93lmO47Vn_Y8DRdLwDLL Follow: IG: instagram.com/nickbarefitness/ YT: youtube.com/@nickbarefitness Keep up with Luke: IG: instagram.com/lukehoplife

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Nick Bare?

  All right, back for another episode, Lou Kopkins.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Hello, how are you doing?

• 0:12Nick Bare?

  Good, man, how are you doing?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  I'm stoked, man. Thank you for having me on for a third time now.

• 0:16Nick Bare?

  Well, the, the previous episodes were recorded, the feedback has always been amazing.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  I appreciate that.

• 0:22Nick Bare?

  People love you.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  I don't know why, but I have to say, Nick, after the, the second episode, like a week later, he's like, "We should do another one." And I, I literally told you, I was like, "Nick, I need to live a little bit more life." I only have so much to share at 22, um, but the fact that we're back here right now, I'm, I'm very excited for it.

• 0:38Nick Bare?

  But you're living it right now.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that is true. It comes when it goes.

• 0:42Nick Bare?

  You're, you're doing so much right now, and I tell you this all the time, but like, I look back to, to my younger self, and it took me a few years after where you are right now to really have that focus and intention and know what I was going after. But for you to be at the age you are right now, how old are you right now?

• 1:08Speaker 01

  I'm 22.

• 1:08Nick Bare?

  22. To be 22 and have the, the vision and the, the focus and the intentionality that you do, it is truly a, a skill and it is going to take you a, a long, far way to wherever you want to go, as long as you stay focused on that. So you're doing the right things.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  I appreciate that, yeah. And, um, really kind of like my mantra for the month, because I, I journal every morning, and it just, I've written down every, beginning of every entry, it just says moment by moment, because I just really want to remind myself that this is a period of time in my life that I want to be as present as possible for and fully embrace the conversations, the experiences, the interactions that I have, because I realize how fortunate I am to be here, and I want to continue to make the most out of every single day. And that doesn't mean like doing something crazy every day, it just means like being as appreciative as possible every day.

• 2:00Nick Bare?

  I think sometimes in life, I mean, I've been here myself where...

• 2:05Nick Bare?

  You're always waiting for and looking forward to this next grand moment.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:10Nick Bare?

  Where it's, you know, getting to a certain milestone or accomplishing a goal. Or even if we look at like a marathon prep or a build, you're looking forward to that next big workout. But the reality is we can find so much power in the everyday.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:30Nick Bare?

  Where nothing crazy happens, but it's just, it's just a good day to be alive.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And I think as like athletes, the, the race analogy is the best thing to look at because you spend months preparing, changing your entire lifestyle to prepare for this one singular event that usually the race happens and it, it's over very quickly. And you're like, oh, that's it. You know, I've, I've been preparing all this time. I've, I've changed so much of my daily structure just to accommodate for this. And then that's when you need to kind of take a step back and reflect. It's just like, okay, I learned so much in the process of getting there. It wasn't simply about crossing the finish line, getting a medal. It was about the person that I became along the way in that. And that's what you should like truly be proud of.

• 3:10Nick Bare?

  That's why one of my favorite quotes is "The man who loves walking will go further than the man who, who loves the destination."

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:23Nick Bare?

  And I, I don't think that could be any further from the truth.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 3:29Nick Bare?

  You know what I love seeing right now is all of the BPN athletes coming into Austin and just enjoying the time spent together. Like I watch from afar, uh, just because I'm in another chapter and season of life. But watching you guys get together and go to dinner, train. You know, this past weekend, I saw you guys were, were hitting saunas, cold plunges, IV therapy. What has that experience been like with?

• 4:01Nick Bare?

  With these groups of people who have similar goals and just getting effort together, but also being able to really live in the moment.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I think it starts out with just like loving where you live. I truly think that every individual should be able to be in a place that they're able to wake up every day and very much will be like happy and appreciative of where they are. And fortunately for me, that's Austin. So anytime that someone visits Austin, I'm like the self-proclaimed tour guide. I'm like, let me drive you around. I'll take you for a run around Lady Bird, show you all my favorite spots because I genuinely do think being here makes me the best version of myself. Like, I definitely feel the most comfortable with who I am. So anytime that athletes from out of town are coming from overseas get to like be here, it's like I want them to feel the same comfort and the same, really like confidence that I do

• 4:55Speaker 01

  with living in Austin because it's just such a great place and the people really make the place. So to be with like-minded individuals in a setting that really cultivates this idea of, hey, like if you want something, work for it. And there's people all around you that are willing to support you. It reminds you that a lot of times when you do have those training sessions that you're alone, it's a lot of just like put down and work type of moments that in reality you have support from all over. So when we get these moments that physically you're able to appreciate how present everyone is because they're literally in the same city as you, it just makes it that much more enjoyable.

• 5:34Nick Bare?

  Do you enjoy hosting people?

• 5:35Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. My, my family was a host family. I love being someone that can be a support system for others and to show them around and to take care of people. It's like one of my true passions.

• 5:47Nick Bare?

  That's how I grew up too.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:48Nick Bare?

  Like our house was always a house growing up where my parents were throwing holiday parties. And it was nothing crazy. It was like a barbecue. We had a pool.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:02Nick Bare?

  People would come over early and stay late. There was no agenda. There was no.

• 6:08Nick Bare?

  Calendar, it was just like, hey, come gather and eat and celebrate. And that was our house growing up. I loved that. My mom was such a good host. And our basement growing up, so the way our house was set up when I was younger is our backyard was a farm field. Central Pennsylvania, there's farm fields everywhere. It was actually the farm field of my best friend Joel growing up. And our basement, in Texas, we don't have basements, but Pennsylvania, everyone has a basement.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  I had a basement, yeah.

• 6:41Nick Bare?

  Our basement emptied into the pool, which then emptied into this farm field. So in the summer, when we were off of school, everyone would come sleep over at our house. Every single night, there'd be times where I'd walk down in the basement in the morning and people would be sleeping in my basement. That I didn't know were sleeping in there throughout the night. That was just our house. I loved that growing up. And I believe if you are raised that way, you then kind of inherit those hosting skills. And that's one of my favorite things to do. Like, I love having people who are for dinner. I love taking people into the city. I'm curious, like, if someone knew us coming into Austin, what are your go-tos?

• 7:24Nick Bare?

  Like, how do you show them a good time? How do you host in the city?

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Um, I mean, I'm thinking back to like the few visits that I have. It usually starts out with like a run around like town like Lady Bird. And for the sole reason that you see so many people out, running, walking, just being social. And it's like your first impression of the city is like, oh, this is a place that people like to be out. People like to get out of their own house, get out of their work and enjoy what's going on around them. After that, probably Barton Springs, because it's just a very much so humanizing experience of you look around and it's all these people that are just very much so okay with being present with right where they are. Nobody's in a rush there. Everyone seems very laid back.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Maybe some just good old Terry Blacks, some good old barbecue. Like I, I, I think I just named like the three biggest tourist spots. But then again, I've only been living here for 10 months, so I still gotta learn. But it's just like, those are very much so core experiences that I was able to have. And like you were saying with like inheriting that hosting ability. I think it comes in the idea that you are at a place in your life that you are so grateful for what's going on around you. And you just want to share that with people. You want people that maybe going through tough times, maybe, you know, don't always feel comfortable with what they are doing. You want to just be like, hey, like, this is a place that you can feel welcome. This is a place that you can feel like yourself and just truly can enjoy it.

• 8:45Nick Bare?

  I mean, that's one of the best parts about Austin.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:48Nick Bare?

  And have you read Matthew McConaughey's book, Greenlights?

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 8:52Nick Bare?

  So he talks about it in, um, in his book where, I mean, Austin obviously was a lot different.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:59Nick Bare?

  Few decades ago. But Austin was, and I believe to some extent is still the, the, the same place where you can come to the city and be who you are, pursuing what you want. You are not judged. It doesn't matter how much money you have, what clothes you wear. You just come to the city and you be you and you get after it. I think that's very well recognized and respected here. And I can't say the same for many other places.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. The best way that I explain it is that a lot of other major cities are just places uh, in the world, people operate on a linear path where it's, they look at their day and it's just like, this is what I have to do. So it's just, I have to be on my street line going right there. Whereas I feel like in Austin, it's very much so, okay, yes, I have my things that I want to do, but you recognize that in the human experience, it's, it's shared. It's not solely about just what you're doing. It's what others around you are doing. And the amount of just great conversations that I've had, like in the sauna at Lifetime or at Barton Springs, just in these places that you could very much so be so individualized in your experience, but instead you're choosing to turn outward and be more social.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  And I'm such a firm believer in like, if you put out good energy. And reach out to people, simply just, hey, how's your day going? Or by the pool deck, and oh, how was the swim? People then become more inclined to like, reaching out to you. Like, it's this feeling that this is an individual that I can feel comfortable, I can feel safe talking to, and that's something that I genuinely enjoy. It's just like, hearing about other individuals' experiences, what they're going through, what they're feeling.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  And just being able to support them, and just being able to really sit down and share that experience.

• 10:46Nick Bare?

  I'm curious your perspective on this. Obviously, you're a really strong positive force, and you have that impact and influence on everyone in your, not just immediate circle, but who follows your content and online. How do you navigate creating boundaries in your life with people who aren't necessarily that positive force? Like, people who, you know, there's people who look at a cup half-full versus half-empty. There's the optimistic, then there's the pessimistic. How have you navigated life up until this point? With people who may have been a part of your life for a long time,

• 11:31Nick Bare?

  who are more of the pessimistic, who don't fill your cup, who drain your energy, who take away. How do you kind of navigate that as you are trying to be such a positive force in your own life, than the life of other people as well?

• 11:46Speaker 01

  Absolutely, and this is like, I always like to clarify that, like, this is, I don't have any direct, this is the only way to deal with it, but like, from my own personal experience, I like to take a very like, psychological perspective, and the idea that we are all entitled to our own beliefs and opinions based on the previous experiences that we've been exposed to in life. So, a lot of times, someone's ideology is directly shaped by their past experiences. So, I'm not going to hold anything against you because you don't see the world in the same light that I do. If you have a different opinion about something, then I simply respect it, and choose not to have that affect my direct perception of you. So, if I meet someone that's a little bit more inclined to viewing things in that pessimistic light,

• 12:27Speaker 01

  it's just like, there's most likely something that's happened in their life to shape them in that manner. So, in the back of my head, I think like, okay, this is someone that... Maybe they have something going on a little deeper than like meets the eye. So I'm not gonna press them or I'm not gonna put them in a situation that they feel uncomfortable with sharing their opinion, but like I just know that down the line, like if there ever comes a time where they choose to open up to me or they choose to admit that they are going through a rough time, that it's like, okay, like this makes sense, you know? Your perception of the world is because of what you have previously been exposed to. So, and recognizing that and choosing, it's also like as human beings, we are one of, if not the only creatures on this earth that have cognition and like the ability to reason.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  So if you get mad at someone for their way of reasoning, you are wasting energy on that entirely.

• 13:20Nick Bare?

  I think a lot of people, a lot of people waste energy on that. Uh, Mel Robbins just released this book recently and I've only listened to part of it so far. It's uh, it's called the Let Them Theory. And essentially the concept behind it is putting in a situation just like that, if someone is arguing against what you believe in, and if you are very firm in your beliefs, it might be a waste of time to try to prove your, your message. Just let them believe that. Let them believe what they believe and you believe what you believe.

• 14:01Nick Bare?

  And there isn't always this reason, or it's not always worth it to try to convince someone to jump ship from, from their beliefs to your beliefs.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:12Nick Bare?

  Just let them.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  It reminds me of uh, Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

• 14:16Nick Bare?

  I love that book.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Lessons, Respond, Don't React. A lot of times people will be saying something like, I mean, you look at social media, for example, a lot of these people that will just like put something out there are simply looking for a reaction and you could easily give it to them and like the emotional side of things overstep, but I think it's, a quote of my dad to me is like, one becomes truly powerful when their mind is stronger than their emotions, because you're able to take a step back and reason with yourself and ask, okay, am I genuinely responding to this person, looking internally at my core values and does that align with how I'm choosing to act? Or am I letting my emotions get the best of me and I'm just throwing a reaction out there for the sake of, you know, having a reaction?

• 14:57Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 14:59Nick Bare?

  Well, I think this is a good segue to move into the next part of this conversation. And we already kind of talked about what we wanted to discuss today.

• 15:10Nick Bare?

  But I guess it was two weeks ago, maybe, that I watched episode one of the Ironman World Championship series that the BPN team is doing on your journey to Nice, France in the middle of September, which I'm super excited about because me and Steph are going.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  You're welcome. I got you.

• 15:31Nick Bare?

  I am so excited.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Totally joking.

• 15:32Nick Bare?

  Thank you for that, my brother.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  I'm your scapegoat. I got you.

• 15:36Nick Bare?

  Yes. So yeah, Steph and I will be going to France to support Luke at the Ironman World Championships in Nice in September, which I'm so excited for. But in that first episode that you and the BPN team put together, it really described in detail your story, your past. Your mom was part of that interview, which she did an amazing job.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  She is one of, if not the most influential people in my entire life.

• 16:08Nick Bare?

  I can tell.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  She's the strongest human being. I love her more than words.

• 16:12Nick Bare?

  Yeah, she did such an amazing job. And I knew parts of your story before that, but that really put a lot into context and perspective to kind of lay the foundation and paint a picture of where you're at right now and who you are in this moment and how you got here. And that's the reason I'd love for you to talk about some of this in this episode because I believe, one, it'll help a lot of people who are going through traumatic experiences in life. Because when you're in it, you can't see the light on the other side. You can't see the forest through the trees. I mean, it's dark. It's really dark.

• 16:56Nick Bare?

  You never think you're going to get out of it. But this too shall pass.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Always.

• 17:01Nick Bare?

  And there will come a time where the light starts peeking through, and you can run towards that light or you can stay in the darkness. And that's a choice we all get to choose and decide.

• 17:14Nick Bare?

  And to hear your story, seeing where you're coming from and where you are today.

• 17:19Nick Bare?

  From my perspective, you've taken those, those experiences and you found positive and you've grown from that. And it made you grow up a lot, I'm assuming, I'm guessing. And it shifted your perspective on life itself.

• 17:36Nick Bare?

  So before we jump into this, one, I want to say I appreciate you and your mom sharing those stories in the, in the video and the film.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 17:43Nick Bare?

  And then what we're gonna dive into today. But I'd love to start off with your dad's accident in 2015 and explaining what happened there.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, so actually, I think it's one month from today. It'll be 10 years ago since the accident. And essentially, just actually, before I get into that real quick, I wanted to thank Ian, Landry, Trevor, every single individual part of the BPN Media team that was a part of making that video and allowing my story to get documented. That is something that I genuinely appreciate so very much. And I've gone through and I've read every single comment on that video. It's like the last thing I do before I go to bed at night. Because the amount of support that people have, complete strangers, like just commenting and saying like, this inspired me, this helped me out. That really is something that I truly do appreciate. So I just wanted to acknowledge that first and foremost because

• 18:40Speaker 01

  you and everyone a part of this team that's given me this opportunity to tell my story and to pursue this dream that I'm chasing. It means a lot to me.

• 18:48Nick Bare?

  Appreciate that.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course. But nearly 10 years ago, my dad was involved with a train accident. He was the former superintendent of Metro North, which is the train line that ran from New Haven, Connecticut to Grand Central. And essentially, he was just working on a defective train and unfortunately had been electrocuted. And the, the voltage from the train had stemmed from his right arm down through his entire body throughout his left leg, which is what caused it to disintegrate.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  And the majority of his body was covered in third degree burns directly. So he was immediately taken to Yale Hospital and then airlifted to Bridgeport Hospital because of their burn clinic. And I believe.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  It was a while until I was able to see him. And 12-year-old me, I always wondered why I felt like I internalized it so much. And it took up until being in college and studying neuroscience that I really understood that adolescence, that period of 12 to 18, 19, 20 years old, is when the human brain is developing the most, the prefrontal cortex, which is the area of the brain responsible for like higher cognition and thought processing. So being 12 years old when that happened, like the immediate start of that period of my life, everything about how I thought I was supposed to be thinking was so beyond altered.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  And I immediately assumed this persona of being this individual that had to take care of my younger sister, take care of my older brother, be so unproblematic because I felt like if I truly expressed like what I was feeling at the time, I would be adding to this very unfortunate time in my family's life. So I picked up this persona truly of just being a very happy kid, always smiling, always just trying like really hard to make sure that everything from the outside seemed perfect because internally I was struggling so much with like who I was as a human being. And especially at a young age, you have no idea.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  And a lot of times you turn to your father or to a parent during that time. And for the most part, I wasn't seeing my dad. And my mom had so much going on in her life that I just didn't want to further burden her. So I really just, from 12 years old up until really like 18, I just kept a lot of things to myself. And I would go on throughout that, you know, 7th grade, 8th grade, start of high school, I was just this kid that worked really, really hard and just put their head down, just tried to be everything I thought I was supposed to be. But in doing so, I think I really neglected a lot of how I was feeling internally. I wish I had vocalized more so what I was feeling.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  I wish I had talked to my parents a little bit more about some of the struggles I was experiencing with my own self-identity because as a result, I think I...

• 21:54Speaker 01

  I think I just neglected what I was actually going through. And it ended up compounding a lot over time. And this isn't me saying that I went through every single day absolutely miserable. No, like I said, like I tried to be just extremely happy. I tried to really like suppress a lot of the emotions I was feeling because that's what in my head I thought would be the least problematic. So as my dad continued to get better, um, I just took that as a sign from God that he was meant to be in my life and meant to stay in my life. And that is something that I pray over and continuously appreciate to this day.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it took a very long time for me to reflect inward and actually acknowledge just how much that incident affected me and going through. You know, I learned how to shave my face from watching a YouTube video. And I know it sounds like a funny story, but there is a lot of experiences that I kind of wish my dad was there for.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  And just do like the, the nature of having a surgery every other week and being in and out of the hospital for continuous periods of time. Just wasn't there.

• 23:05Nick Bare?

  But that's tough at, at that age. You know, really wanting and needing someone in your life. How, from, from the moment your dad's accident happened until he was out of the hospital for good, was this like months, was it years?

• 23:24Speaker 01

  So I would say he spent five months continuously in the hospital. So from April up until late August of 2015. And then after that, it was about a five or six year stint where once a week, or not once a month, um, he would spend a weekend in the hospital. He's had, I want to say over 40 surgeries over the past 10 years. Um, just skin grafts and, you know, reconstruction of his left leg and blood transfusions and whatnot. Um, pretty much in like entirely relearning how to function as a human being.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  And it's definitely been hard because you know, that's the man that I look up to. That's the man that I um, I model how I want to be a parent after. And for me to constantly be, you know, there to support him throughout like these small physical deeds and like, I, I love him so very much. He is beyond inspirational to me. And yeah, I mean, to, to watch someone like that struggle so much, it, it really does take a toll on you.

• 24:39Nick Bare?

  Yeah. I'm sorry you had to go through that and I appreciate you sharing. I really do because I understand and recognize it's tough to even relive.

• 24:51Nick Bare?

  So nearly 10 years ago, you're 12 years old. What's the age of your, your siblings at that point?

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Uh, my younger sister was six years old. My older brother Joey, um, who him and I are very similar. We both studied neuroscience together. Uh, we both kind of took on this caretaker role in our family. He was 14 and then my oldest brother Jake, who is um, struggled with his own mental health, uh, throughout just the extent of his life. He was 16 at the time. So we're all relatively close in age, which I'm very grateful for. Like my siblings, I have their birthdays tattooed on my wrist. It was the first tattoo I got. Because they're three individuals that I will always hold so close to my heart, no matter the physical distance. Like I look out for them. I text them.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  I try and care for them as much as possible because I think this experience that we all went through at a fairly young age, um, really did make us realize just how special family is and how important it is to remind each other that, hey, like sometimes I might get frustrated with you, but I love you so very much.

• 26:01Nick Bare?

  Yeah. I've seen traumatic experiences happen to families and there's typically like two outcomes that happen. One, the family becomes stronger.

• 26:14Nick Bare?

  That bond becomes more united, the love like runs deeper. And then sometimes the family actually falls apart. What was your family dynamic like prior to your dad's accident? And how did that change after the accident? Was it always that strong? Was it always that united?

• 26:34Speaker 01

  Definitely not. I think going through something like that really does bring people together. Don't get me wrong, we were, you know, a normal family, enjoyed each other's company. Would have dinner together, go to church together. But I think going through that as well as the the community response. I'm so fortunate to have lived in such a a great neighborhood where just so many people cared so much about my family. And that's something that I think further shaped that that host mentality that we talked about at the beginning of this. Where it's just like, I was so beyond supported. And I wish I could have appreciated that a little bit more. I think in my head, I neglected a lot of that. I probably had so many people that I could have turned to and talked to, but chose not to.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  But to have that support really reminded me of this isn't going to be something that tears my family apart. This isn't going to be something that I use as an excuse in my life to, you know, go down a bad path or to fall away from what I want to do. Like, I would rather have this be something that truly I can look back on and be like, as unfortunate as this was, as really life-changing as this was, it led me to be a version of myself that I'm proud of. And it led me to be a version of myself that takes care of other people. And that is constantly saying, I got you and means it by the actions that I continue to partake in. Because at the end of the day, with every single interaction that I have with a human being, no matter if it's a 10-second conversation at the grocery store,

• 28:03Speaker 01

  a three-hour-long talk with one of my closest friends who's going through a really rough patch, I want them to know that they are never alone, that they are always supported and that they are always loved. Those are three simple statements that I will repeat every single day for the rest of my life.

• 28:19Nick Bare?

  But I mean, you say it and you live it.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  I try to.

• 28:23Nick Bare?

  Like, just when I watch you interact with.

• 28:27Nick Bare?

  People here at BPN Gym, you know, we have friends and family visiting and they watch you from afar online and they come and meet you in person. You drop everything you're doing to come have a conversation with them and you're looking right into their eyes. You're not thinking about getting back into your next set or the workout. You're having a conversation. You're engaged. You're there. I think back right now as you're saying this to High Rocks Dallas. In every other race that you've been at, I've witnessed the same thing happen, but I remember competing at High Rocks Dallas and there's all these people

• 29:06Nick Bare?

  yelling and cheering and chanting. I'm hearing Go On More. I'm hearing Nick. I'm hearing all these things and it all is kind of like drowning out, like it's a sea of sameness of noise, but I could distinctly pick up on your voice because it was so loud.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  I'm a pretty loud human being, so yeah.

• 29:27Nick Bare?

  But like the cheering wasn't like a, I'm going to overpower everyone. It's like, I'm truly rooting for you. And it felt like it was just me and you in that arena and you're like, just like Jeff Cunningham, like the way Jeff, Jeff coaches, it's almost like when Jeff is coaching an athlete, it's just everything else kind of dissipates and he's just so focused on the performance of that athlete that he truly wants to see them succeed. And if they don't succeed, like that hurts him just as much as it hurts the athlete. I watch you cheer for our athletes, cheer for me, cheer for this team, cheer for this

• 30:09Nick Bare?

  community and your, their success is also your success. Their failure is your failure. You feel that. And not many people.

• 30:24Nick Bare?

  Have that type of buy-in to other people's accomplishments and progress. So I recognize that. And when you say that's one of your focuses, like I, I watch you, I see you live it. You should be really proud of that.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Thank you. And truly what it is, is that, you know, as I refer to it, it's that moment by moment mindset, where if I'm meeting an individual and they're sharing about their own personal experience. And when someone says, I signed up for a race because of you. Or when someone says like, I made this change in my lifestyle because I watched your videos. It allows me to take a step back and realize that my mere existence, something that for a long time, I really didn't appreciate, can potentially have a very positive impact on someone's life. And I'm not saying that in a narcissistic way. I'm saying that in like a, I want everyone in this life to appreciate their life. I want everyone I meet to like have this mindset like, hey, like I'm happy to be alive.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  I'm really, really grateful to be on this path that it's not always going to be easy. There's going to be times where I'm frustrated. There's going to be times where I don't understand where I'm going. But I am so grateful that in the end, I know that everything was going to turn out exactly as it's supposed to. So for me to stop a workout and to talk to whoever's coming up to me, it's never, oh my God, my workout's all thrown off. And it's no, this is a chance for me to have an interaction with an individual that could potentially affect my life just as much as it's affecting their life, that we could both learn from each other, that we can both, you know, continue to enjoy the human experience together, even if it's fleeting, even if it's something that, you know, I meet this person, I never run into them again.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  I want them to have a small part of their day that they can reflect on and be like, that's what made today good.

• 32:11Nick Bare?

  Yeah. You know, a mindset shift that I've had to make over the years, that I wasn't really good at or proud of when I was younger, that I think you actually do a really good job at, is wanting to see other people win. Like truly wanting to see other people win and succeed. And when I was younger and

• 32:36Nick Bare?

  I just didn't have this perspective. I used to think that if other people won and it had nothing to do with what I was trying to pursue, that that took away from my ability to win. It could be a completely different business. It could be a completely different race. It could be a completely different family. Whatever it was, like if someone else is winning, part of me felt like that was taking away from my ability to win. And I didn't want to see others win. And that was such a limiting belief and perspective. And when I eventually realized that there's room in this world for everyone to win and someone else's win doesn't take away from your win. That was a massive unlock for me.

• 33:19Nick Bare?

  It shifted the way that I interacted with people, the way that I viewed other people. Even my competitiveness. I think a lot of people would think that, maybe you as well, I'd love to hear your perspective, competitive with other people. But I'm really not, like I'm not a competitive person. I am very competitive with myself. But I don't go to a race to try to beat someone else. I'm not building this business to beat another business or go after another founder. I'm trying to constantly make improvements within my own journey. I'm competitive with me, no one else.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Absolutely. I like to operate off of like the ideology that it's not about being the best. It's about being great because greatness is a term that thus becomes subjective and you can define what greatness means to you in your life. So it doesn't mean that being great means being number one. Being great could be, hey, I, you know, PR'd in this race by 15 minutes. That's great for me because I worked really hard to get there. And it's all about your subjective perception of it, how it means or what it means to you. And like you were saying, that idea of being competitive with other people and watching other people win. I think. I feel like every single athlete has that experience that sometimes it's like, I want to be the best. I want to win. I don't want other people to win.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  Until you take a step back and realize that perhaps someone is going through that win because they need it more than you in that period of time. Perhaps that like the race that you had didn't go, you know, didn't lead you to being number one because maybe someone else needed that experience a little bit more. Maybe you don't know the full story of how hard they worked to get there. You don't know what they're going through at home. So maybe that singular experience means more to them than it would to you in that moment. And that's why they're experiencing it and you're not. And that was kind of like my idea of the common good. Where it's just like, you could have your experience and that'd be a great day for you. I could have my experience. That'd be a great day for me. And we're just having these two separate good experiences. It doesn't have to be this competitive where, oh, my experience is better than yours.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  Or, oh, I'm doing more than you are. It's just like, no, like this is our life. We have our own different timelines to get to the point that we are currently at. So we can have our own perceptions of what the specific experience means to us. And it doesn't have to be a combating force. It can be a collective good.

• 35:42Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I agree with that. Someone sent me this message the other day and they said, hey, this person is trying to go after your marathon PR. And achieve it before you do. And I responded with, I hope they do. And I truly believe that. I want them. I want everyone to crush their PRs and their goals. That doesn't take away from, from my accomplishments and goals when I eventually get it. Doesn't matter who did it first. Doesn't matter their time compared to my time. And like, that is, that is my goal for me.

• 36:24Nick Bare?

  You know, you met Chris Hickey and his daughter Megan. I guess it was last week here at BPN.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Phenomenal family. Two great human beings.

• 36:32Nick Bare?

  I love the Hickeys. Like absolutely amazing people. And one of the things that he's kind of challenged me in the business with recently is, you know, a lot of people talk about being the best.

• 36:48Nick Bare?

  And Chris was like, hey, like, instead of talking about being the best, why don't we reposition it as you should pursue your best? Like, the best is, it's pretty lofty.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:01Nick Bare?

  There, there's not a very clear, objective measure to the best. You know, if you go to a, a, a race downtown against a, a bunch of people who've never run before and you win, you feel like really proud about that, beating your chest just to show up a bunch of people who were just trying to have fun and get after it. Like, if you're proud of that, that's, that, there's some ego involved there. But if you're constantly trying to pursue your best as opposed to the best, just that, that one word change puts a completely different meaning to the, the accomplishment, to the pursuit of the progress. It shifts the journey completely.

• 37:46Nick Bare?

  Now, I love that, just your best as opposed to the best.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, it reminds me of a, a quote from Matt Fitzgerald's How Bad Do You Want It? Where it's not necessarily a matter of having more to give, rather, it's about giving more of what you have. So instead of constantly thinking of, how do we do more, more, more? It's just like, hey, how do we continue to stay in our own lane and continue to progress on our own specific timeline? How do we, you know, progress with what we currently have? How do we appreciate that more? As opposed to thinking about like, oh, we have to be the best, cover the most ground. It's just, how do we do our best to be our best?

• 38:25Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I love that. I want to take a quick break in this episode to talk to you guys about how I use our products around my endurance training and how you can as well. Now, here at BPN, we've created products to fuel your performance and optimize your recovery. But I want to talk specifically around how I use these products in my morning run. Before my morning run, every morning, I'm not training fasted. I want carbohydrates and I want electrolytes. So I consume two scoops of G1M Sport, which is our carbohydrate and electrolyte powder, and one Go Bar, which is our lightweight oat-based bar.

• 39:09Nick Bare?

  With this combination, I'm getting about 800 mg of sodium and 76 grams of carbohydrates total. Carbohydrates for the fuel, electrolytes for the hydration. This is going to set me up to have the best run possible. Fuel and hydration. Now, based off of the distance, duration, and intensity of that run, I will add in GO gels during the workout. And the GO gel is our simple ingredient, endurance gel, 24 grams of carbohydrates in each gel, and 110 mg of sodium. We have a non-caffeinated version and a caffeinated version.

• 39:53Nick Bare?

  The caffeinated version has 75 mg of caffeine per gel. And I will have one GO gel every 30 to 45 minutes, or every four to five miles. And we really created the GO gel for these bigger effort runs, or endurance training sessions, and races. They are extremely useful during races because you get a quick hit of energy from the fuel, the carbohydrates, some hydration from the electrolytes, the sodium, but they also digest very easily. So you're not going to have stomach discomfort and GI distress. And then after my run, I want to rehydrate, so I'm always adding in our electrolyte powder,

• 40:38Nick Bare?

  one to two scoops. Each scoop has 500 mg of sodium, full electrolyte profile. So I'm using our products to fuel training, enhance hydration, maintain effort intensity during training sessions with the GO gel, and then rehydrating immediately after. So that's how I use our products around my early morning runs and all my endurance training, and how you can as well. So, good to be PNSubs.com. Check out all of our endurance products to fuel your performance. And now, back to the episode. So I love to fast forward a little bit to 2019. This is another moment in your life that...

• 41:26Nick Bare?

  Has I guess shaped who you are today. Your oldest brother Jake attempted suicide. Can you talk about that impact on your life and your family as a whole? Just four years after your dad's accident.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Absolutely. So Jake.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  I love him so very much. I'm so proud of the man he is today because he has overcome so, so much. But there was a period of time where he just didn't see himself the way that I saw him and the way that my family saw him. And it was just pretty tough mentally for him. And I was nearing the end of my junior year of high school and it was the first time in a very long time I felt like I was kind of like genuinely happy, like really hit my stride. I was two sport captain. I was great grades, started dating a girl at the time, got my driver's license, like pinnacle of a 16 year old kid.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  And I kind of knew that Jake was going through a lot. There was just a lot of stress going through him. He was transferring colleges. He didn't know what he wanted to do and I really

• 42:46Speaker 01

  I guess overlooked that and just kind of had this idea that, oh, you know, I have my own life. I got a lot going on at 16 that. You know, my, my older brother, like he'll be able to figure it out. He's a tough kid. But then unfortunately on June 10th of 2019, he decided.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Now he just didn't want to be around for any longer and he attempted to make a permanent decision. And by the grace of God that he was able to be okay throughout it. But I remember we, it was my, my brother Joey, my, my brother Joey and I, and we, we were making the same drive that we had made every weekend over the past four years up to Bridgeport Hospital to visit my dad. And I distinctly remember looking out the window and seeing the exact same scenery and it was kind of like,

• 43:42Speaker 01

  although we didn't know at the time why we were driving up there to pick up my mom. It was almost like you had this feeling that something had happened.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  And I remember she got in the car and we made our way home. And she just basically explained what had happened. And after that, I remember I asked if I could just like drive for a second, just the sole reason of being by myself. And I was just crying like hysterically because I just felt so like I had failed as a brother, like I had failed as a caretaker. I knew everything that Jake was going through. I knew how much he had experienced in the past and yet I tried to reason that my own life was more important than checking in on his. And that was

• 44:33Speaker 01

  really hard for me at the time because it felt like I had suppressed my own emotions for so long and that this was a period of time that I was finding like, you know what, like I'm happy with who I am, like I'm feeling good. And then it was just this and I was just like right back to it and I I shut down and I I tried to just continue to look out for him because he was struggling to look out for himself and I'm very grateful for my brother Joey, uh, who just constantly reminded me that I needed to be strong for our oldest brother, that it it was just this is an individual that I love so very much, who's going through such a hard time in their life and that I needed to to look out for him and

• 45:18Speaker 01

  yeah, I mean, that was something that once again, really tested how strong my family's connection was with one another. And once again presented with an opportunity to or I mean, really presented with an excuse to fall apart or to kind of go through a very troubling time. Uh, once again, we we bound together to try and just like help out Jake and to make sure that he was okay. And once again, the community around us and our extended family, they were so beyond supportive and they were always asking how we're doing, checking in.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  It was kind of like a relapse for me. Like I I kind of went back to being really quiet about how I was actually feeling and I I went on to this person of just like, yep, everything's okay. I'm gonna keep training really hard for my sports. I'm gonna keep getting good grades. I'm gonna just just stay this one path and not try and reflect internally.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  And I actually have a note on my phone and I've never really talked about it publicly, but it's this one note and it's called How You're Living and I started it after everything that happened with my dad and it is essentially just, it's really just a journal of my thoughts, but it goes through just so much of just like self motivation of trying to tell myself that I was gonna be okay to like get myself out of bed because there is, you know, that four year stint of 2015 to 2019, I really struggled so much with just like appreciating who I was as a human being because I just felt like I needed to constantly be this

• 46:56Speaker 01

  human being that was there for everyone else except himself. So that journal, that note, was just that, that period that I could just lay out all my thoughts and I remember opening it up that day that I found out about Jake and like just looking at everything that I'd written over the years and it was just kinda like, ah, like back to it. Um, but yeah, that, I mean, that, that was definitely a hard one, but it really is what led me to, to wanna study neuroscience and wanna pursue clinical psychology because I always have this passion to help others who struggle to help themselves. And I look at my oldest

• 47:40Speaker 01

  brother and I'm like, I wanna make sure that every single person feels really like loved and that nobody has to feel that way.

• 47:49Nick Bare?

  So has that led you to like your mission and purpose in life right now?

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Hundred percent. Like when I, when I hear people talk about the dark times that they've been through, like the really tough experiences that they've had, like I, I feel that. Like I, I really am a very empathetic person and like I feel that in my core because I just want like people to like really like be able to enjoy their life.

• 48:15Nick Bare?

  Did you say it was June 10th, 2019?

• 48:19Nick Bare?

  Very interesting. That's the same day that my mom passed away from cancer.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  I'm so sorry to hear that.

• 48:25Nick Bare?

  It's a crazy coincidence.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, that is.

• 48:29Nick Bare?

  They're like having this conversation right now.

• 48:31Speaker 01

  And I feel like you and I are pretty similar. Like, you explaining your backyard and always having people in the basement, like to a T, that was exactly, I would go down and there'd be Joey's friends, my friends, just random people in our basement. Like, I think a lot of who you and I are as people is very much so outwardly demonstrated in our character. And I feel like that's why we're both very fortunate to have so many people that can say like, hey, like, I'm changing my life because of what you guys are doing. And that's something that I like really try and appreciate and really try and acknowledge every single time it happens.

• 49:06Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I mean, the core values and the purpose are so aligned that when I see you talking about this right now, I can, I can feel the trauma that those experiences have created, but also how it's shaped you to where you are today. Anyone who has met you in person, I tell everyone I've ever met about you, like for being 22 years old, I'm like, Luke Hopkins has like so much wisdom and has his priorities so straight and your future looks so successful because of where you're at right now.

• 49:52Nick Bare?

  But you didn't get to where you're at right now because you were born in a certain household with a certain amount of money or any of these things. Like, you had to go through some really hard times and a lot of struggle and a lot of pain. But I think it was all part of, I believe it was all part of the plan for you and your family and the impact you're gonna make on this world and you're making right now. Because someone has to go through all that stuff

• 50:26Nick Bare?

  to, to be stronger, to be a warrior, to be a leader. You're just not given those abilities. You're not just given those characteristics and traits. You have to really earn them, like blood, sweat and tears, and you have earned them in.

• 50:45Nick Bare?

  A few short condensed years, like true, two very traumatic experiences. Like what you're doing right now and the way you're approaching it and your mission. Man, I look, I look at like people who are even my age, like mid 30s. Who don't have that clear vision and purpose and core values and intention. And when I say like success, like your future is bright, successful, not even talking financially. I'm talking like significance and impact and life changing.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 51:20Nick Bare?

  And man, I'm, I'm really like proud of you. I'm really proud of, of what you're doing.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Thank you. I also just want to say that like, and this is like something that I try to do very often is that.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  We're all just human beings living for the first time. So. As 22, while I do have this idea of who I want to be and these goals that I want to pursue and you know, these dreams that I want to chase. There are days where I don't feel motivated. There are days where I do have second thoughts. There are days where things don't go according to plan and I get really frustrated. Because that's a part of being human. And I just want everyone out there listening to realize that. It's not always going to be easy, but it's always going to be worth it. So it just comes down to really sticking true and turning inwards and being like, when things aren't going right, who do I choose to be? Not just when things are going my way, I get to celebrate that. It's when things aren't going my way. How do I adapt? How do I change to make sure that I stay true?

• 52:21Speaker 01

  To progressing towards that version of myself that I, I want to become.

• 52:26Nick Bare?

  So in 2019. As you're preparing to go to college then, and in the film. The way your mom describes is you volunteered to stay back and not go to college. Uh, cause you were going to USC and your mom encouraged you and pushed you, you gotta, you gotta go, you gotta do this for yourself.

• 52:49Nick Bare?

  When and what changed for you? Were you transitioned from keeping everything built up inside?

• 53:00Nick Bare?

  Having a lot of dark days, negative self-talk?

• 53:07Nick Bare?

  Not like truly expressing yourself? When did that all change and why?

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it was fall of 2020, it was my first semester of college. And I was home because just due to COVID, USC had canceled housing due to the COVID cases in California. And I watched as all of my friends went off to college. Um, the girl who I'd been dating throughout all of high school, she'd gone off to college and we had separated. And it was this period in my life where I felt very stuck. Where a lot of people always looked at me as this kid who had it all figured out, you know, on paper. Four O GPA, two sport captain, full academic scholarship to USC, like I, I, uh, from the outside I like,

• 53:56Speaker 01

  I had it all figured out, but internally I was so all over the place. I had no idea what to do, how to feel. And there was just this span of two, three months where I was going through the motions of waking up every day. And I, I would just sit online and take classes and I would go and work out. And it would just be day after day, the same exact thing. And I would always think to myself, like, if something were to happen at this point in time, like, I wouldn't care because I was just, that, that was, it was just this buildup where I had this anticipation of, okay, I'm going to go to college, I'm going to start this new chapter in my life. I'm going to be able to like reinvent my character to be this person that like I truly am happy with because I'm going to have all these new

• 54:41Speaker 01

  interactions with these new people. I was so much looking forward to it and for that to be deprived of me for, and say like, hey, like not right now. While like everyone else gets to go and do that. I, it was just like, this is, this is too much for me. And I remember having that conversation with my mom where she was like, out of everyone I could worry about, I worry about you the most. And that just. Took me, it took me down really because you know, you spend

• 55:12Speaker 01

  six years, seven years trying your absolute hardest to be the least problematic human being. And for your mom to say like, hey, like I saw through all of that and I, I really am concerned with you. It was just like, what did I just spend the last six years of my life doing? Like I tried to be so perfect in every single way possible, only for the one person I was trying to be perfect for to say like, hey, I'm really concerned with like what you're going through. And that's what really struck me because it was just a continuous period in my family's life where it was just adversity after adversity. And it just seemed like nothing was going my way. And I just kept telling myself, be strong for mom, be strong for my mom. And for that conversation to happen, that was the breaking point.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  That's when I kind of really just like let it out and just had explained like everything I had been feeling and just talking about all the thoughts that I had. And it was really,

• 56:10Speaker 01

  really tough, you know? And when the time did come around in January to, to go off to college finally, and I was just like, yeah, you say the word and like, I'll stay here. Like I, I know. Um, I know how much my mom needed a support system because at the time, um, my dad was undergoing another surgery, his liver had failed due to malpractice by a doctor, uh, through blood transfusions. And

• 56:42Speaker 01

  another just health scare. And I knew it was going to be like just another period that my mom was going to be alone. And I was so worried about her and I was like, mom, like I do not have to go to college. Like I, I will stay here. I will take care of you. I can take classes online. And she said, absolutely not. Like you have to live your life. Like you have to go because you are meant to. And as hard as it was, like I remember like flying across the country during COVID from Connecticut to California. And I remember writing down in my journal, just being like, this is really scary because I could be flying back in two weeks because things could have gone wrong with my dad.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  But I

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Have just so much appreciation for my mom for just like motivating me to live my life for me. And to like telling me like, hey, like you have to go and start this journey now.

• 57:35Nick Bare?

  Did you view getting to college, landing at USC as this new chapter where you could like write? You have this book in front of you and it's a blank page and you can go into it with a new mindset, a new approach. And like, never forget the past and these experiences you've gone through, but it's like, here's an opportunity for a somewhat fresh start to now live, not just for myself, but other people and serve this new mission.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  That's what I wanted it to be. And in my mind, it's not necessarily like moving on from the past, but it's moving with it. Because like the amount that you've changed as a human being, like I said earlier, like an individual's perception of the world is entirely shaped by their past experiences. So like, I'm fully aware of there's never going to be a period of my life where I can just kind of like snap my fingers and forget about, you know, years past. And I wanted it to be that, but I think I just still was very much still learning to love myself and appreciate who I was as a human being. And the things that I worked really hard to do. I don't think I fully had that acknowledged yet. So while I had this intention of, you know, starting college and becoming this version of myself that I was like truly proud of,

• 58:53Speaker 01

  I don't think mentally I was fully there at the time, just due to the fact that I was still learning how to be fully honest with myself about how I was actually feeling during certain situations. And really it would take me up until like my senior year to actually be able to turn inward and say, I'm, I'm proud of myself and to, to really appreciate who I am as a human being. And I remember driving after I'd graduated, I had packed my whole car and when I was driving down to Austin, I had that kind of similar feeling of that first time I was going to California where I'm like, this is actually the new chapter. This is actually the period of my life that I get to like truly start living for myself, that I get to like

• 59:35Speaker 01

  truly appreciate who I am as a human being. And the past 10 months have been nothing short of absolutely exceptional. And every single interaction that I've had, every single bit of experience that I've had here is something that like I'm so beyond grateful for.

• 59:50Nick Bare?

  I love to hear that. I love to see it too.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 59:55Nick Bare?

  I think one of the

• 59:58Nick Bare?

  the best characteristics and traits that we can learn and adopt is to be resilient.

• 1:00:09Nick Bare?

  And you become resilient through

• 1:00:14Nick Bare?

  a few different things, but like there's two paths that I want to kind of talk about here. Cause there's a difference between choosing hard things and then being forced to adapt to hard things. So like life experiences happen, trauma happens. What happened to your dad and your brother? You didn't choose those things to happen. They happened to you, but you were able to choose how you managed that and dealt with that and grew from that.

• 1:00:46Nick Bare?

  So throughout our lifetime, there are going to be things that happen to us. Good, bad, beautiful, ugly, all of these things and it will shape the person we become based off of the way we respond and not react to them. But then there's things that we can choose to do that can facilitate this, this trait and characteristic of becoming more resilient. These hard, physical challenges that we can do. Signing up for a marathon, an ultra, an Ironman, all of these things.

• 1:01:25Nick Bare?

  They both build resiliency, but in two completely different ways. I don't even think we can measure them in the same context.

• 1:01:38Nick Bare?

  So I'm curious

• 1:01:43Nick Bare?

  your experience and perspective on now that you're choosing to do hard things.

• 1:01:49Nick Bare?

  How they they shape your perspective and your mindset from someone who has come from a previous lifetime of having to go through traumatic experiences and become resilient through that. Like, what impact does choosing to do hard things now do for you personally? Because you've gone through so much in the past.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. I I think the way that I'm looking at this is like, a lot of people have this idea of unwavering confidence. And this is how I lived for a period of time where it wasn't necessarily confidence, but it was just like unwavering attempt at being like just positive, just like no matter what I'm going through, like, I'm not gonna change who I am or what like I look like on the exterior, like, that's totally fine. Whereas it's more so about like unwavering self belief, where you you can like turn inward and reflect on what you're going through, you know, these hard experiences that you don't have a choice with. And like, you don't always have to be this very happy, everything's okay, human being. You could be like, hey, this sucks. Like, hey, I'm struggling with

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  this right now. But I know it's not permanent. I know that this isn't gonna be something that is I continue to face on every single day basis for the rest of my life. No, this is something that although it's gonna shape me in this time being, I can use it as a positive to grow from in the future. And I think those experiences in your life where you're forced into the hard situations is what shapes individuals to choose to do hard things that continue to challenge their ability to grow in the future, because they develop this mindset. That's like, if I'm able to overcome what I have no control over, then the things that I do choose to control, I can really push myself. And I could really grow in this setting.

• 1:03:33Nick Bare?

  You made you made a really good point there, where I really respect and enjoy talking to someone where I know they're going through something tough, they're in the suck right now. And what I don't want to hear from that person is like, hey, how you doing, man? Like, I know, I know you're in it right now. It's all good. Don't worry, it's all good. No, it's not all good, man. Just be be real with me. Like, you can say it, this is hard and this sucks. But then also say, but I'm working through it. And we're going to get past this moment. This is what we're doing. Or I could really like, you know, use some time talking to you right now.

• 1:04:14Nick Bare?

  Because I've done it in the past where I'm going through something tough and I just brush it off like, "No, I'm too strong. This doesn't bother me. It's okay." Where I should have said, "Yeah, this like, "This hurts. This is brutal right now and I could, I could use some help." "Or this is what I'm going through and I don't know what help I need, but I just wanna

• 1:04:36Nick Bare?

  "let you know what's, what's on my mind right now." That just openness

• 1:04:43Nick Bare?

  eliminates or minimizes just the heaviness that we carry on our shoulders from trying to put on this just really hard front all the time of, "Nothing bothers me. "I'm getting through this. I don't need help. It's okay. It is what it is."

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, because you look at it from like two ends of the spectrum where you have the individual that's always saying that they're fine and the individual that's always saying that like, "I'm stuck. I can't do anything." Like it's just like, both of them are in this place of, I guess you could call complacency where you're not willing to actually enact any change because you're so afraid of truly acknowledging what's going on around you. You have to have that kind of middle ground in between where it's just like, like you're saying like, "Hey, I am struggling. I am admitting outwardly that I could use assistance." But then you have that kind of optimist perspective where you know that it's gonna get better in the end. And you have those two complement each other and that's who you build throughout the tough situations that you are forced into.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  And that's how you can progress on to those hard situations that you're choosing to do because you know that that's actually what you want to be doing. When you think about that version of yourself that you want to progress towards in the future and you see them doing these races, starting these businesses, you know, prioritizing their relationships, it's never going to be easy. There are going to be times, like I said, where you question every single part of your existence, but that's when you turn inward and you really acknowledge that in the end, these are things that you genuinely want to be doing at your core and nothing good ever comes easy. Nothing good ever comes without an exceptional amount of grit and work ethic and really pushing yourself.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Because it's that process, that's where you learn the most about who you are and the version of yourself that you want to become.

• 1:06:29Nick Bare?

  I want to talk about commitment for a little bit.

• 1:06:32Nick Bare?

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but it it seems like you've never had a problem with physical commitment. High school athlete, you were able to commit to the training, to the sport, to to the accomplishments. Getting into USC in college, able to commit, I mean, not not in a physical state there, but like to the the work that was required to achieve the grades, to get the scholarship, to graduate. And you look at your training now, you never have a commitment issue. I I see you training multiple times a day, every day, never running

• 1:07:17Nick Bare?

  away from that commitment. But I'd love to talk about commitment in another way, because obviously, getting to Texas, moving here 10 months ago, you had this mindset shift. And and sometimes, commitment isn't just doing the things that are right in front of us that are the obvious. Sometimes you have to commit to something that isn't as obvious, but creates these larger results, like committing to a new mindset, or perspective, or belief. What kind of changes in commitment have you made these last couple of years,

• 1:07:56Nick Bare?

  or even these last couple of months, that have put you in a better place, personally, outside of of sport? Because that is, from now on, looking at, it's not an issue for you. But maybe there are other commitment issues in the past that have been resolved more recently.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think this ties really well into a lesson from Angela Duckworth's book, Grit, where like, the biggest factor that it comes down to is like, an individual's ability to persevere. Because a lot of times, it's so easy to, you know, say you have a goal, to toss something out there, just like to like verbally explain it. But you don't really understand just how much effort, or just how long it's going to take to accomplish that goal.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  And I think the way that I look at it is like when I say like, I want to be proud of who I am as a human being. That's very broad and it takes a level of perseverance to understanding, okay, like what does that mean? Like, does that come down from a pure athletic standpoint? Does that come down to, you know, how I am as a friend, as a son, as a brother?

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  How I run a business, you know, there's so many different avenues that it forces me to reflect internally on and to realize that, okay, like, if I want to be proud of myself, it's not something I'm gonna snap my fingers overnight and be like, yep, that's it. You know, there's gonna be continuous change that's going to be neat, that's going to need to take place over, you know, a series of months and years. But I think one thing that I've really prioritized in the past couple of months is genuinely being present and acknowledging what's going on around me and taking a second to just like put my feet down and just say, hey, like, I've worked really hard to get here and like I am proud of that.

• 1:09:48Speaker 01

  Like I am proud that I'm sitting across the table talking to you right now. Like that is something that I've worked my ass off to get to this point. And that's not coming from a cocky perspective, that's coming from, you know, I believed in myself that I was, that I wanted to do something exceptional, that I wanted to help as many people as possible. And I looked at this as an avenue, I looked at this, you know, athletic pursuit and, you know, mental openness through like what I choose to post in social media, I looked at that as a way to do so. And I really, you know, invested a lot of time into it and I really spent a lot of time working on it. And not everyone is going to understand your goals, not everyone is going to believe in the same mission that you have. And that's okay, because that's not how life is meant to be lived, you know? Everyone is supposed to have their own separate mission.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  And it comes down to, hey, like, I want to support you, how can I do so? The right people are going to stay in your life. I love the quote, "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Because you quickly realize that the people that are going to stick by your side, those are the people that are supposed to be by your side. And those are the people that you should then turn outward and care about. So by really putting a emphasis on being present, it's allowed me to take a look around at the people who are actually in my corner and be like, hey, like, you guys have supported me to get to this point. How can I support you to get to wherever you want to get to?

• 1:11:07Nick Bare?

  It's a really...

• 1:11:10Nick Bare?

  Really important thing that you mentioned there.

• 1:11:15Nick Bare?

  Because where I've, I've made a lot of mistakes in my past. And that's one of the reasons I love the podcast and creating content is a lot of these lessons that I personally share are lessons I've learned through failures.

• 1:11:31Nick Bare?

  And when it comes to commitment, I think sometimes we look at commitment through this lens where it's from point A to point B. You just do whatever you gotta do to get from point A to point B. But commitment comes with a lot of responsibility because when you're just focused from point A to point B, there is collateral damage that you may be creating along the way. So it's having the awareness of what are the consequences? And the second and third order effects that happen in my pursuit of this commitment. And like you said, recognizing the people who are supporting you as you go from point A to point B.

• 1:12:12Nick Bare?

  And recognizing them and celebrating them and praising them and supporting them in their journey as well. It might slow you down in that process to get to where you want to be.

• 1:12:26Nick Bare?

  But the consequences that you're creating, the collateral damage that is a byproduct of is lesser because of the awareness you have going into that journey.

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you say it might slow you down, but I think it might put you at the exact pace that you're supposed to go on. I feel like a lot of us are in a rush to get somewhere, to accomplish something. But a lot of times you forget to just like look around and be like, why am I trying to get away from this? You know, and that's not coming from a point of complacency. That's coming from a point of like contentment that like you can just appreciate what's going on around you. That doesn't always have to be this. Giant emphasis on how can I be the most effective human being? How can I get the most out of every single day? That sometimes it can come down to just like being fully aware of where you are and appreciating it.

• 1:13:14Nick Bare?

  And you could only be aware if you're going slow enough to have the awareness.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:13:20Nick Bare?

  So one of my favorite quotes is, "Slow is smooth, smooth is fast."

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:26Nick Bare?

  "You can only be fast and effective if you are smooth at the speed at which you are operating."

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it takes time. Like, everything good in life takes time. So if you start out with a goal of, you know, wanting to create a business and get it to a $50 million valuation, like, that's not gonna happen overnight, and it's not gonna happen linearly. You are going to have to change, you are going to have to grow, you are going to have to outsource and learn a lot about business, about yourself, about who you choose to employ, about who you choose to, you know, interact with. That's everything in life. It's not this very quick, "Here's the guide for A, B, and C. You follow this directly and here's the exact result you're gonna get." Like, very rarely does a process lead to a direct outcome.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  And that's what people become so hyper-focused on, is that they set these goals that are outcome goals, where it's just like, "This is all that I want. I'll be happy once I get to this point. I'll be happy once I have this." Whereas you look at process goals, and it's more so like, "Okay, what do I learn in the process of, you know, being a business owner, of being a father, of being, you know, the best athlete I can be?" That's, that's the bigger focus. That's where perseverance is truly tested. Because you might just have this outcome goal, and you're like, "Yep, like, all I wanna do is get this done." And then it doesn't happen, and you're like, "What the hell? This is all I wanted." Whereas you look at the process, and it's just like, "Okay, like, I know that this is gonna be hard. I know that there's gonna be a lot of changes that I need to make, but I'm gonna continue to persevere through them." That's where you learn the most.

• 1:15:00Nick Bare?

  Very well said.

• 1:15:02Nick Bare?

  Luke Hopkins, as always, great conversation.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Thank you, man. Also, I gotta say, we were talking about how similar we are. Can we talk about the fact that unplanned, we're wearing the same shirt right now?

• 1:15:12Nick Bare?

  I noticed that.

• 1:15:13Speaker 01

  That was, I noticed as soon as we sat down. Mine's cropped, little cooler, just saying, but...

• 1:15:17Nick Bare?

  Yeah, cooler pants and a cropped shirt.

• 1:15:19Speaker 01

  Hey, I appreciate you, man.

• 1:15:20Nick Bare?

  And your hair looks better.

• 1:15:22Speaker 01

  I'm three for three. Thank you, Nick, appreciate you.

• 1:15:24Nick Bare?

  Well, I appreciate you, you sharing a lot of your personal life in this conversation. I know it's gonna help a lot of people and...

• 1:15:32Nick Bare?

  Just provides a lot of context into the way that you think, why you think that and where you are now. So I appreciate you, man. Thank you so much.