MFM Minisode 485

This week’s hometowns include a ferry captain’s folly and a close encounter with the Golden State Killer. For our sources, please visit https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/episodes. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Head to social media to share your favorite moments from this episode. Instagram: instagram.com/myfavoritemurder http://instagram.com/myfavoritemurder Facebook: facebook.com/myfavoritemurder http://facebook.com/myfavoritemurder TikTok: tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder http://tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder Send your hometown stories to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. Join the Fan Cult to access ad-free episodes of My Favorite Murder. Members also receive merch store discounts, exclusive audio and video content and more! Visit www.fancult.supercast.com http://www.fancult.supercast.com/ to join. Shop for My Favorite Murder and other Exactly Right merchandise here: www.exactlyrightstore.com https://www.exactlyrightstore.com. Rate, review and follow My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Speaker 01

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• 0:35Speaker 02

  In New Orleans, truckers kept getting sideswiped the exact same way. When a man is found murdered under questionable circumstances related to these accidents, the rubber hits the road. And what the feds uncover is a complex scheme of staged wrecks, financial fraud, and a pair of conspiring lovers behind it. This is a story about fake accidents that led to real consequences. Listen to Over My Dead Body: Operation Sideswipe wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• 1:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello and welcome.

• 1:30Georgia Hardstark?

  To My Favorite Murder.

• 1:31Karen Kilgariff?

  The mini.

• 1:33Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. We read you your stories.

• 1:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Your stories. I want you to go down like this is a play and I keep forgetting a line. You know those in cartoons where there's a person in like a little half shell that's like whispering lines to people? That's to me what that hand is where you're just like.

• 1:47Georgia Hardstark?

  It's like not the normal.

• 1:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Not the other. Do this hand.

• 1:50Georgia Hardstark?

  You know, and then this is, yeah.

• 1:52Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it da-da-da-da, the end. I think you go first on this one.

• 1:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Regular old mini sound. Let's do this.

• 2:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. Sail by salute, Washington State Ferry Edition. Hello, Karen, Georgia, and all of my other MFM besties. When I heard episode 524 about the Costa Concordia and how the captain did the sail by salute to impress a woman, and then it says sir with this emoji.

• 2:21Georgia Hardstark?

  I immediately thought of the Pacific Northwest version of this exact nonsense and knew I had to share our much less tragic story with you. I live way out on a tiny island in Washington State's San Juan Islands, about 90 minutes north of Seattle. God, it's so beautiful.

• 2:37Karen Kilgariff?

  The most beautiful, like, what a place. What a gift to live there.

• 2:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. A quiet, ferry-dependent archipelago.

• 2:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, it is.

• 2:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Where nothing crazy ever happens except deer jumping fences to mow down entire gardens or the occasional trespassing tourist. Which is why this story lives on in local legend. Back in 1983, the Washington State ferry Elwa was doing a normal Sunday run through the islands. Think people heading home, cars packed with island essentials, and tourists scanning the horizon of the Solish Sea for our beautiful resident orcas.

• 3:14Karen Kilgariff?

  I love an orca.

• 3:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 3:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Were they, were they trying to kill billionaires? Is that why they were up there?

• 3:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Beautiful resident orcas. Meanwhile, the 57-year-old captain of the Elwa ferry invites a female passenger up for a tour of the vessel's wheelhouse for the hour or so sailing.

• 3:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Has a ferry captain ever invited you up into the wheelhouse?

• 3:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Never been on a fucking ferry, fucking ship. And no.

• 3:38Karen Kilgariff?

  We gotta get you a ship.

• 3:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Get me on a ship.

• 3:40Karen Kilgariff?

  You'd love it.

• 3:41Georgia Hardstark?

  No, I'd get so sick.

• 3:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Get your own.

• 3:42Georgia Hardstark?

  After a while, the captain began joking about taking a little detour in order to sail by the lovely passenger's home as they approached the mouth of the aptly-named Grindstone Harbor on Orca's Island, where she recited. She was like, "Oh, I live over there." And he was like, "Let's drive by and do a salute."

• 3:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Even though we're on a ferry where there's all these passengers and commuters?

• 4:03Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. That's called common sense, Karen. But I wonder what's in his little flask, you know? At the time, the passenger thinks he's joking, as such a detour would put the Elwa way off course. He is, in fact, not joking. And when she realized he was serious, her daughter later said she began to freak out. Because suddenly, this man is steering an entire 382-foot ferry into a harbor that it absolutely should not be entering at full speed. Because nothing is more impressively flirtatious than, "Would you like to see your home from a dangerously questionable distance?" Moments later, the Elwha slammed into a submerged reef in Grindstone Harbor. They hit so hard that people a mile away could hear it.

• 4:48Georgia Hardstark?

  The ferry's hull ripped open, causing around $250,000 in damages. That's over. How much in today's money?

• 4:55Karen Kilgariff?

  In today's money, this happened in the 90s?

• 4:57Georgia Hardstark?

  This happened in 83.

• 4:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Ew, 83. Say the number again, 200 and...

• 5:02Georgia Hardstark?

  250,000, and thank you because Kelly put how much it is in today's money.

• 5:06Karen Kilgariff?

  600,000?

• 5:07Georgia Hardstark?

  700, but close. Yes, that was like in the ballpark. And because we don't have time for that kind of shit here, the ferry continued on, limping its way to Shaw Island and then to Orcas Island, where it was patched up before heading to Seattle for more permanent repairs.

• 5:24Karen Kilgariff?

  So it actually was such a strong ferry, it kind of made it out of there anyway.

• 5:27Georgia Hardstark?

  It was like, all good, let's just keep going, get this over with.

• 5:30Karen Kilgariff?

  What about all the people on the ferry whose teeth hit the window or whatever fucking?

• 5:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Thankfully, no one was hurt.

• 5:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Except for that one lady.

• 5:40Georgia Hardstark?

  In the incident, but here's the fucked up part, ready for the fucked up part. The recently widowed passenger, the woman, and longtime Orcas Island resident who was invited into the wheelhouse that day, was dubbed "The Siren of the San Juans."

• 5:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Always the woman.

• 5:54Georgia Hardstark?

  It says "The Siren," as if this woman was just out there luring this dumbass like, "Little more to the left, Captain," and then there's some like music notes. "Little more to the left, Captain."

• 6:08Karen Kilgariff?

  That's her song?

• 6:10Georgia Hardstark?

  She thought this man was joking and then got sucked into a situation she had zero control over. Somehow she got labeled, her reputation was questioned, and she was turned into a main character of this crazy story. Not quite the classic victim blaming, but definitely its weird maritime cousin.

• 6:27Karen Kilgariff?

  No, I think it is victim. How is that happen every time? It's like the same thing where it's like Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem are being brought up on charges. Fucking... The worst of the worst.

• 6:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Whose names are there and their emails that they sent are there.

• 6:45Karen Kilgariff?

  It's all there and they're on the news, babbling incoherently.

• 6:50Georgia Hardstark?

  And they don't even fucking, they disclose the victims' names when they fucking put the documents out, which is like, literally illegal.

• 6:58Karen Kilgariff?

  Literally, that's not what you're supposed to be doing.

• 7:02Georgia Hardstark?

  It's called when they take the names out and they put in the, they just track from...

• 7:06Karen Kilgariff?

  The Siren of the Seas is the headline under which we have been living. And 2026 is when this whole thing cracks like that fucking ferry, because enough already and everyone has their eyes on it and everyone's paying attention. Not to say, listen, send both Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi.

• 7:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Fuck goodbye.

• 7:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 7:28Georgia Hardstark?

  But let's go from the top instead of the fucking bottom.

• 7:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Boys first.

• 7:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Started at the bottom.

• 7:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Boys first.

• 7:33Georgia Hardstark?

  And then you're not even going up here. Okay, and then it says, "Of course, the captain lost his job after over 30 years with Washington State ferries." And then it says, "Goodbye."

• 7:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Bye.

• 7:44Georgia Hardstark?

  And by all accounts, the female passenger's family seems to be able to laugh about it now, although none of them found it funny at the time.

• 7:52Karen Kilgariff?

  I wonder if when Siren of the San Juan's article came out, her picture was in it.

• 7:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Probably. And her name and address, like, from the 80s.

• 7:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yeah, that's right.

• 8:00Georgia Hardstark?

  From this, here's her phone number. They used to do that, you guys. They used to just give out, like, if someone's getting an award or won something, they fucking put...

• 8:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Chris Fairbanks, as a child, had his name and address printed in their local newspaper of like...

• 8:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Like soccer star Chris Fairbanks, and then they put the child's address in there.

• 8:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, go visit him, pervs.

• 8:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Uh, duh, duh, duh, where are we? Goodbye, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. It's funny. Anyways, stay sexy and don't let a man blame you for crashing a ferry, question mark? XOXO, and thank you eternally for all you do, Kelly. P.S. I celebrated my 27th year as a flight attendant on March 15th. You've been asking for those stories lately, so fasten your seatbelts and expect to hear from me again.

• 8:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Kelly!

• 8:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Kelly's good. That's only the first one.

• 8:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Thank you, Kelly, for sparking and igniting...

• 8:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 8:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Our new show.

• 8:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Siren of San Juan.

• 8:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Uh, the McNair Lehrer News Hour.

• 8:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 8:55Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm not going to read you the subject line. It just says, Dear Karen in Georgia, longtime listener, devoted acolyte. You recently mentioned parts of the Golden State Killer timeline that snapped a 30-year-old memory into focus. A little Googling and some deeply unwelcome pattern recognition later, I'm fairly certain Joseph D'Angelo was in my bedroom closet in the fall of 1983.

• 9:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Fuck. I fucking love these stories. Oh my, I mean, I hate them. But when you have that realization that, oh, that thing happened. I found the rope that one time under my couch, and there shouldn't have been a rope there, but I couldn't figure out why. Okay, please, sorry, go.

• 9:30Karen Kilgariff?

  No, no, that is, I think of the Golden State Killer's whole story. Him hiding shit in the furniture to come back later is so upsetting.

• 9:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Diabolical and upsetting.

• 9:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Demonic.

• 9:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Demonic.

• 9:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, okay.

• 9:44Georgia Hardstark?

  And then stealing one earring, and you're like, where'd that one earring go? That doesn't make any sense.

• 9:50Karen Kilgariff?

  It's mindfuckery like days before the, you're gonna do the worst thing you could do to people.

• 9:54Georgia Hardstark?

  You're not gonna call the cops and be like, I think someone was in here.

• 9:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, no.

• 9:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Cause what'd they do? They, you'd lost an ear? Oh, my God.

• 10:00Karen Kilgariff?

  No, he just is starting to rip the seam of, am I okay? Okay, well, okay, and perfect point, because listen to this. We had just moved to Woodland Hills, foothills, middle-class suburbia, easy access to the 101, and backyards attached to long corridors of green space. I was 15, and yes, Karen, yes, I was a latchkey kid. One, Georgia was too?

• 10:24Georgia Hardstark?

  I was too.

• 10:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Uh, one afternoon, I came home to find that we'd been burglarized, but it was a weird one. The expensive stereo, still there. Valuables, untouched. What was missing? My dad's wedding band, my mom's diamondless engagement ring, which had lost its diamond long ago during a diaper change.

• 10:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, God, okay.

• 10:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Resale value, zero. Symbolism, 100. And a single $20 bill from my bedroom. Cue teenage fury. Also missing, my dad's enormous, very sharp chef's knife.

• 10:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 10:59Karen Kilgariff?

  But it wasn't stolen. It was placed, pointy and out, on a shelf in my closet.

• 11:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Never going in there again.

• 11:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 11:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, just cemented over.

• 11:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 11:11Karen Kilgariff?

  At the time, my parents assumed the rings were taken for gold value. No one was publicly talking yet about a man who targeted wedding symbols and piggy banks and moved through suburban neighborhoods via freeway corridors. True to his MO, we also received a series of hangup calls. Heavy breathing, then a click. I carelessly assumed it was some random creep who kept redialing because I kept answering, not someone from my closet. Today, following standard MFM advice, I called my dad. I laid out my case. There was a long pause. It was like six O's. Then he said, "Well, it is true. There was a rash of similar break-ins all over the neighborhood at the time."

• 11:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Jesus.

• 11:53Karen Kilgariff?

  The Golden State Killer was documented in Ventura County in 1981 and Orange County in 1986.

• 11:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Woodland Hills is right in the middle of it, right?

• 12:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Woodland Hills sits neatly between them with the 101 running straight through.

• 12:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Shit. If you call Paul Holes and say, "I bet they have those two rings still in evidence."

• 12:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Right?

• 12:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Right. Also, it's so creepy to just go into people's houses and touch the things that are like, "This means love. This means..."

• 12:21Georgia Hardstark?

  And I'm gonna... Just like, I know the confusion and fear I'm gonna put in your mind.

• 12:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, okay. Back in 83, my dad's response to the incident was to buy a Labrador.

• 12:33Georgia Hardstark?

  That's great.

• 12:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Knowing now that D'Angelo famously avoided homes with dogs, I give full credit to Oreo for saving our lives.

• 12:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Oreo cookie.

• 12:43Karen Kilgariff?

  So, thank you for giving me the framework to retroactively terrify myself and then call every member of my family to inform them they survived the Golden State Killer.

• 12:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit.

• 12:54Karen Kilgariff?

  You're welcome, family. SSDGM and maybe check for knives in your closet. Emma, Long Beach, California.

• 13:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 13:02Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it says, "P.S. Turns out the SoCal killings started around the time D'Angelo and his wife bought a second home in Long Beach."

• 13:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Shut up.

• 13:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Emma, you are the Forrest Gump of the Golden State Killer's...

• 13:16Georgia Hardstark?

  You're the missing link.

• 13:18Karen Kilgariff?

  ...timeline.

• 13:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit.

• 13:19Karen Kilgariff?

  That is so too close for comfort. That is just... Unbelievable.

• 13:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, because he would do it and then he'd have like a couple of places that were available. So that night, if he couldn't get into that one, he'd go to this one instead, just to make sure he always had one available. Like, so he went back and they had a dog and he was like, well, it's not that one tonight.

• 13:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Right. Or somebody flicks their light on in the backyard and he has to like go to the, I mean.

• 13:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Right. Dude, dude and a half.

• 13:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

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• 15:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Uh, this is about a child witch.

• 15:36Georgia Hardstark?

  It's funny. Hello, MFM fam, Karen, Georgia, Vince, and pets. When my mom and her siblings were growing up in the Milwaukee suburbs in the 1960s, the summer parenting method was very much, "Go outside until I call you for meals." Which was great for neighborhood kick the can, bike races, etc. But it also led to power struggles, boredom, and of course, witchcraft.

• 16:00Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right, because you would just be left to your own devices all day.

• 16:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. I think we did all of those things. One summer morning, my mom and her younger brother Greg, little Greg.

• 16:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Little Greg.

• 16:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Were bored with the usual games and decided to set up the garage for a séance, as you do. They hung up tarps, lit candles, set up a table, and made a crystal ball from an old, round cherry jar, glitter, and food coloring. Next, they needed a witch. As they hadn't been out in the neighborhood yet, they decided it should be Greg. I guess my mom, being a girl, seemed too obvious a choice to fool the other kids. My mom found an old Halloween costume, painted Greg's face, and put on a mop wig.

• 16:40Karen Kilgariff?

  The smell.

• 16:42Georgia Hardstark?

  She then went into the neighborhood to gather the neighborhood kids, explaining that Greg had the flu, but that their aunt was in town from far away, and that she was a witch, and did they want to meet her? Greg's not here right now.

• 16:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Greg's very, very busy with his work.

• 16:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Right. I know. You've never seen Greg and this witch together, but trust me.

• 16:58Karen Kilgariff?

  But listen, as similar as they look, Greg takes after his aunt.

• 17:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Does Greg have a fucking mop of hair? No, he does not.

• 17:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Does he have gifts from the beyond? I don't think so.

• 17:09Georgia Hardstark?

  But they wanted to meet her, which of course they did, especially after my mom said that she could see the future and call dead people that the witch could.

• 17:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, the mom got into it?

• 17:17Georgia Hardstark?

  So the mom is the big sister. This is her mom's story.

• 17:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Got you. I thought like there was a true adult coming in from the out with an apron on, being like, "No, no, it is a witch."

• 17:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Right, much for the uncle. One by one, the kids came into the garage wanting to know their future. No one cared about the dead, I guess. One by one, my uncle, the witch, explained that it was very grim and that the children and their families would die, all caps, if they did not shower at midnight. The kids left terrified, and my mom and uncle were delighted by their prank. At 12:15 in the morning, my mom, Uncle Greg, and their parents awoke to 11 phone calls by neighbors with freshly showered and scared little kids.

• 18:03Georgia Hardstark?

  My mom and uncle were promptly grounded and probably whacked with a wooden spoon. Yeah, had that too.

• 18:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Just really quick. So sorry to interrupt. But like, the first phone call goes down, I'm so sorry, yes, we'll take care of it.

• 18:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 18:17Karen Kilgariff?

  The second the phone hits, the rest of it.

• 18:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Eleven phone calls.

• 18:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Just rolling calls.

• 18:24Georgia Hardstark?

  They were grounded, whatever, probably whacked with a wooden spoon, but also extremely proud that their prank worked.

• 18:30Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right.

• 18:31Georgia Hardstark?

  My mom grew up to be an OG murderino who still checks her closets for perps and pervs on a nightly basis. What the fuck?

• 18:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 18:39Georgia Hardstark?

  And my uncle joined a biker gang.

• 18:43Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right.

• 18:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Everything turned out great for those kids. I love them. Thank you for all you do in encouraging people to speak up, fuck politeness, discuss mental illness, and in general, be wonderful. P.S. Karen, my mom's birthday is May 12th and mine is May 10th. We should meet up for cake.

• 18:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Hey, a week of cake.

• 19:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Stay sexy and don't tell children to shower at midnight. Best, Marissa.

• 19:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Those fucking weirded out parents that are just like, uh.

• 19:09Georgia Hardstark?

  I love that he like, the kids, like Greg, like, thought of a way to like, control them, but not in a way that was like, evil. Just in a like, fuck with you kind of way.

• 19:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Do what I say.

• 19:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, like, it was like, jump from the roof.

• 19:22Karen Kilgariff?

  No, exactly. It was, you're gonna be cold and irritated.

• 19:25Georgia Hardstark?

  And terrified.

• 19:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, but no one can really get me in trouble, really.

• 19:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 19:30Karen Kilgariff?

  But I mean, they did, I guess.

• 19:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. You know those parents were a little proud.

• 19:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, I mean, because it worked.

• 19:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 19:37Karen Kilgariff?

  How many times did you try to like, convince neighborhood kids of something? They're all like, what? Shut up.

• 19:41Georgia Hardstark?

  That's not true, yeah.

• 19:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Just never listen to anything.

• 19:43Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 19:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. Greetings, murder mavens and all the furry critters, including Steven's mustache. I've got a secret life hometown that culminates with a deathbed treasure hunt.

• 19:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 19:55Karen Kilgariff?

  When I met my now-wife, her father was a trim carpenter living a modest life, but occasional comments hinted at a more storied past. Most puzzling might be the warning that if we were ever in the Bahamas and were asked, we should say we didn't know him.

• 20:11Georgia Hardstark?

  A lot of that.

• 20:12Karen Kilgariff?

  And definitely were not related to him. My curiosity got the better of me and I did some web sleuthing and discovered a newspaper article from the 80s linking him to a retired major league baseball player who had been arrested for running marijuana.

• 20:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh shit.

• 20:26Karen Kilgariff?

  My father-in-law was listed as the co-pilot of the private plane they were using.

• 20:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Dude, he took Cocaine Bear.

• 20:35Karen Kilgariff?

  He had never mentioned having a license or knowing how to fly a plane. Oh my god, to secretly discover Marty could fucking fly a Cessna if he wanted to.

• 20:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, actually, my stepdad, John, has some like, cool secrets that you would not know.

• 20:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Really?

• 20:49Georgia Hardstark?

  That I'm not supposed to know, that I shouldn't be talking about.

• 20:52Karen Kilgariff?

  On this national podcast.

• 20:54Georgia Hardstark?

  I didn't say what they are.

• 20:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Here's what I'm gonna guess.

• 20:57Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 20:57Karen Kilgariff?

  He was a sniper in Vietnam.

• 21:00Georgia Hardstark?

  He was, he was in Vietnam.

• 21:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Whoops, we're going back to the email. John, my apologies, it's none of anybody's business. But thank you for your service.

• 21:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 21:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. This man's cool points tripled in that moment and I couldn't wait to hear the story firsthand. Unfortunately, my father-in-law did not see this as his proudest moment and shut down the conversation immediately. Those, the old school guys are, they don't wanna be, you can't be a criminal, you can't be a bad guy.

• 21:30Georgia Hardstark?

  No, you can't have done something in your youth that you're, and talk about it on a podcast like I do.

• 21:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Right? That's, thank god that we fucked up as much as we did.

• 21:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 21:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Because we have so much to talk about.

• 21:40Georgia Hardstark?

  And zero shame.

• 21:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Right? And kind of like a need to get a little attention.

• 21:43Georgia Hardstark?

  That's true.

• 21:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Here and there. Sadly, he passed away about a year later and thus begins the deathbed treasure hunt part of the story. He always told my wife, if anything ever happens to me, check my chair. I fucking love this guy. We always suspected he stashed cash around and now knowing his past, it made sense why he liked to keep income undocumented.

• 22:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh shit.

• 22:07Karen Kilgariff?

  He also had a fear that every time he was ill, it was going to be the end and would write a letter to my wife telling her where to find his stashes. So we had three conflicting treasure maps to work with.

• 22:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, what a joyous gift to give your child.

• 22:22Karen Kilgariff?

  Please give this to me.

• 22:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 22:24Karen Kilgariff?

  When you die.

• 22:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 22:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Start planning it now.

• 22:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, I'm thinking, like, where do I send her?

• 22:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Where could I? "We found envelopes of cash taped to the bottom of his dresser, tucked on top of the kitchen cabinets, in the lining of his chair, etc. The grand total was 10K."

• 22:43Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 22:44Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean. But it wasn't the most valuable find. In the garage was a locked file cabinet with no key. It's like my mouth is watering. Just around the house.

• 22:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 22:55Karen Kilgariff?

  "We considered taking it to the dumpster, as is."

• 22:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Nope.

• 22:59Karen Kilgariff?

  "But something told me if it was worth locking, then there had to be something in there worth finding." Please use that kind of deduction in your life. Why would this be happening? Maybe I don't, maybe I don't just...

• 23:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 23:14Karen Kilgariff?

  I don't know what I'm so mad at.

• 23:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Have you seen the Instagrammer of the guy who's just spending every day trying to find a diamond?

• 23:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 23:23Georgia Hardstark?

  I love him.

• 23:24Karen Kilgariff?

  And the shit he's finding?

• 23:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Day 32 of trying to find a diamond. A kitty cat. And a bead.

• 23:31Karen Kilgariff?

  It's so satisfying.

• 23:32Georgia Hardstark?

  It's so satisfying.

• 23:33Karen Kilgariff?

  And then you're like, the bead is the diamond.

• 23:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, no diamond today. You're like, yay, because I want you to keep doing it.

• 23:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 23:39Georgia Hardstark?

  It's so cute.

• 23:39Karen Kilgariff?

  It makes me feel like that guy was a mudlarker.

• 23:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 23:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Or watches mudlarking videos. It's like, I'll never get to do that.

• 23:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 23:47Karen Kilgariff?

  But I'll do it here in this gutter.

• 23:49Georgia Hardstark?

  I love him.

• 23:50Karen Kilgariff?

  It's so good.

• 23:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 23:51Karen Kilgariff?

  There's like a little, whatever he uses, like a screwdriver, digging out the cracks in the sidewalk.

• 23:56Georgia Hardstark?

  And he finds the most random shit, but he's like so calm and ASMR about it.

• 24:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 24:00Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it.

• 24:01Karen Kilgariff?

  We love that guy.

• 24:01Georgia Hardstark?

  No diamond today. A kitty.

• 24:03Karen Kilgariff?

  No diamond today. Day 32 of searching for a diamond. Okay. We're back in this email.

• 24:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Sorry.

• 24:11Karen Kilgariff?

  And we're really going to focus this time.

• 24:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Do it. Locked thing.

• 24:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Locked file cabinet.

• 24:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 24:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Here we go. God damn it. Okay, here it is. "So I went to work with a variety of prying and hammering tools. Success. Among the receipts for every prescription he and his wife purchased from 1977 to 1987." I mean, that's what a lot of my junk drawers look like, is things I'm afraid to throw away.

• 24:37Georgia Hardstark?

  What if I need it?

• 24:38Karen Kilgariff?

  A receipt for a prescription, like, stuff like that. When they give you the thing that's all stapled and there's all the information, I'm like, better keep it. Okay. So among those items was a folder that told the whole story of his misdeeds.

• 24:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 24:54Karen Kilgariff?

  During this time, he ran a moderately successful typewriter ribbon reinking company. We might, they might as well put his name in. Who else has that company? It's the most specific job of all time. Which provided a great cover, oh my God, for all of his travel up and down the East Coast. So a typewriter ribbon reinking company is a cover for drug running.

• 25:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Sure. I don't know. No one knows how that works. So why wouldn't it?

• 25:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. It's so specific. It's like those independent vacuum cleaner stores on Burbank Boulevard.

• 25:26Georgia Hardstark?

  You're like, what are you talking about? You fix fucking vacuums.

• 25:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Post-COVID? You still got a brick and mortar?

• 25:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Post-1989, if you fucking do this.

• 25:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Are the good people at Mealy sending you thousands, hundreds of thousands of dollars? Okay, so typewriter ribbon reinking company, providing a great cover for all his travel up and down the East Coast. In reality, he was a legit drug mule, running cocaine from Florida to Massachusetts. He kept a newspaper clipping from a trial where he turned state's evidence and testified to taping bags of cocaine to his body. And then in parentheses, it says, you know, like you see in the movies. He handwrote his fine on the clipping. They got it wrong in the article. So he was arrested and fined.

• 26:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my God. And he handwrote? He was like, they're wrong.

• 26:14Karen Kilgariff?

  It's just like, actually, it was $60,000. He ended up doing a year in prison. He sent my wife a handmade Christmas card that year that was also in the folder. And then we found the official letter from the Republic of the Bahamas informing him he was no longer welcome in their country ever. We were just there.

• 26:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Too bad. Yeah. Good thing he's not a podcaster.

• 26:35Karen Kilgariff?

  I know. Cause it's gorgeous. And there's podcasting. I really hate that he was embarrassed by this part of his life. As I'm sure he had some wild stories to tell. Yeah, I agree.

• 26:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 26:46Karen Kilgariff?

  He should have felt free and easy. He got through it.

• 26:48Georgia Hardstark?

  But if you're a boomer and you're listening and you have some crazy fucking story that you're ashamed of, we are not ashamed of you. Please send it to us.

• 26:54Karen Kilgariff?

  No, this is a time that is very different than pre-internet times where shame and Keeping Up With The Joneses really controlled most people's lives. Not like that anymore.

• 27:04Georgia Hardstark?

  No, we're fine with it.

• 27:06Karen Kilgariff?

  And also, everybody loves an anti-hero.

• 27:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 27:09Karen Kilgariff?

  But don't do drugs. I really hit it. As for my mother-in-law, it does explain why they got divorced. We haven't told her that we discovered the big family secret. I picture her as a Skylar White type, enjoying the spoils, but not wanting to know how they could afford a Corvette. Stay sexy and don't let a locked filing cabinet deter your treasure hunt. Tea.

• 27:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 27:31Karen Kilgariff?

  God, that's so good.

• 27:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 27:34Karen Kilgariff?

  A secret life as a cocaine runner is pretty incredible.

• 27:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 27:39Karen Kilgariff?

  If your dad has a boring job or mom has a boring job.

• 27:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Ask them what they did.

• 27:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Ask them to please finally be honest with you.

• 27:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Ask them why they never want to go to the Bahamas. Anyway, what do you mean?

• 27:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Why was that person at TSA giving you that dirty look?

• 27:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Right. What do you mean, you can't go to Canada?

• 27:57Karen Kilgariff?

  It's for everybody up there.

• 28:00Speaker 01

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• 28:30Karen Kilgariff?

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• 28:34Georgia Hardstark?

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• 28:42Georgia Hardstark?

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• 28:48Karen Kilgariff?

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• 28:49Georgia Hardstark?

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• 28:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 28:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Buying furniture is a lot of pressure. It has to look good, feel good, and hold up to everyday life.

• 29:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Take it from me, a bad couch can ruin your life.

• 29:03Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why Article focuses on stylish, high-quality pieces designed to last.

• 29:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an unbeatable price.

• 29:12Georgia Hardstark?

  They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time. There's no filler. Every item is chosen for its craft. Design and lasting value.

• 29:21Karen Kilgariff?

  And with Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. Man, there was nothing I loved more than when I was broke and I could still buy furniture that I needed at Article. It wasn't cheap looking. It's like I was investing in these pieces that were comparatively inexpensive and I was like finishing rooms. I was like getting the kitchen table that was like bringing the whole thing together. And it was such an incredible thing because I never got to do that before. I love that about Article.

• 29:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 29:59Karen Kilgariff?

  To claim, visit article.com/murder and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

• 30:03Georgia Hardstark?

  That's article.com/murder for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 30:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 30:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, this is called, oof, finders keepers.

• 30:18Georgia Hardstark?

  This one's gross. Hello, murder matriarchs and co. Thanks, blah, blah, you know the rest. I have a brother who is three years younger than me, but by the time we were two and five, he easily weighed as much as me and could hold his own in any fight. When he was seven or so, we thought he was partially deaf. My dad thought it was selective hearing, but eventually my mom took him to the doctor to get it checked out. The doctor comes into the room and starts testing things and uses that weird flashlight to look inside my little brother's ears.

• 30:48Karen Kilgariff?

  I wanted one of those really bad.

• 30:49Georgia Hardstark?

  The lights, the little...

• 30:50Karen Kilgariff?

  The thing that where they're like, hey, how are you today?

• 30:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Hell, yeah. Da, da, da.

• 30:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Vince would fucking hide it from me if I had it. I'd be like chasing around that. What's in there?

• 30:58Georgia Hardstark?

  I love that shit. Okay. When he looks in my brother's right ear, he pauses, keeps the flashlight in the ear, and grabs a pair of long, thin tweezers. This is what hometowns have become, and I'm so happy for it. It's that and it's this, and that's okay.

• 31:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Secret parent drug runners and shoving shit up your nose. Or ear, sorry.

• 31:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Or wherever. Then he proceeds to slowly extract a wax-covered bead from my brother's ear.

• 31:26Karen Kilgariff?

  A bead, no diamond today.

• 31:30Karen Kilgariff?

  He pulled it out and said, "No diamonds today."

• 31:31Georgia Hardstark?

  No diamonds today. Oh, but the diamond was in the ring, but it wasn't in... My mom's jaw drops to the floor, and when my brother sees it, he says, "Oh, I put that in there to hide from Georgia," and it says, "Me," because I didn't want her to use it.

• 31:46Karen Kilgariff?

  This person's name is Georgia?

• 31:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 31:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, that's crazy.

• 31:49Georgia Hardstark?

  I know. It had been in there for four fucking years.

• 31:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Ah.

• 31:54Karen Kilgariff?

  And how old was this little brother?

• 31:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Uh, seven. Nope, not deaf, just hiding shit from his siblings using three-year-old logic. And also, who wants a three-year-old play with beads? Another bygone time. I would. They're not allowed to?

• 32:08Karen Kilgariff?

  They truly liked the man looking for the diamond. That little kid found that thing on the floor, thought it was beautiful, and was like, "Mine."

• 32:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Doink. Stay sexy and check your children's orifices with some regularity, Georgia.

• 32:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Such a trip to hear an email from Georgia. Thank you for finally writing in. That's so hilarious, isn't it? The reason I said shove it up your nose is because there's an infamous family story where my mom looked at me one day and I had green shit running out of one nostril. I've told you this one?

• 32:37Georgia Hardstark?

  I think so. Well, I don't remember.

• 32:38Karen Kilgariff?

  And I had to go to the emergency room, and they just, they pulled out a big piece of foam.

• 32:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Why'd you put foam in there?

• 32:45Karen Kilgariff?

  It's bored. They used to leave me alone all the time. What am I supposed to do? Not shove shit up my nose? But it was like, she was like, "I think she's really sick. It's like green snot coming," whatever.

• 32:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Infection.

• 32:56Karen Kilgariff?

  She goes, "He puts tweezers up there," and then it's just like, "Is this your child's..."

• 33:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Send your email to myfavoritemurder@gmail about orifice origin stories.

• 33:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Uh, above-the-belt orifice origin stories.

• 33:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Thank you.

• 33:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Please, family-friendly.

• 33:15Georgia Hardstark?

  You know that one guy who they like, he was dying, and they opened up his body, and they found a little tree growing in his lung because he had inhaled a seed?

• 33:22Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 33:22Georgia Hardstark?

  That's just one of those stories I think about when I can't sleep at night.

• 33:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, because you're like, "What do I got in there?"

• 33:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 33:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. Bougainvillea?

• 33:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Forgot about that.

• 33:33Karen Kilgariff?

  It was like a sprout in his lung.

• 33:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, so crazy. And he was like, couldn't breathe and was like dying.

• 33:37Karen Kilgariff?

  And then like drinking Theraflu and like, God.

• 33:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, and I'm like, no, actually, it's a Christmas tree in your.

• 33:42Karen Kilgariff?

  You're a tree. You've become a tree.

• 33:45Georgia Hardstark?

  A tree, okay.

• 33:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Subject line of this email, quick one. I ran over myself with my own car, less than two minute read. The beautiful besties that I've never met. When I was 16, I eagerly got my license like any other teenage girl. The car I was handed down was a 1986 Subaru GL. The car was only a year younger than me, so you can guess the safety features were non-existent. I've only had my license for about two weeks when I pulled into my driveway after a party one night. My parents' house is up a semi-steep hill and off the road a little bit. I got out of the car and was standing between my car door and the driver's side when the car starts rolling backwards. For some reason, I thought that I could stop the car by simply pushing against the door frame.

• 34:27Karen Kilgariff?

  But before I knew it, the door knocked me down and one of the tires ran over my right leg.

• 34:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Jesus.

• 34:35Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean.

• 34:36Georgia Hardstark?

  You could have died.

• 34:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Don't drink and drive, is what I was trying to tell you. The car rolled into the yard and into a tree. My border collie Mick Cindy just simply looking at me until the car crashed, then decided to bark and alert my parents.

• 34:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 34:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Cindy's a narc. What the hell happened, you ask? I forgot to put the car into park.

• 34:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 34:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Which I still do to this day, but thank goodness for modern safety features. When I showed up to school limping with a gigantic bruise on my leg, I lied and told my friends that something had been wrong with the car and that park had been stripped out of the gear shift. So, if any of my high school friends are murderinos and remember this happening, I lied to you out of embarrassment. Sorry, I guess.

• 35:18Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 35:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and don't forget to put your car in park. Megan.

• 35:21Georgia Hardstark?

  I want to hear the best stories of people who did a really dumb thing and then blamed it on something totally, like that had nothing to do with it.

• 35:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Just covered in lies.

• 35:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 35:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Because it was so embarrassing.

• 35:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, and then maybe got caught.

• 35:33Karen Kilgariff?

  We have family friends who the daughter went to take her driving test and passed, and everyone thought she wasn't going to because she was crazy smart, like became a surgeon, I think, but was very like, not there in the other ways. So she passed, pulled up in front of her house and was so excited, she jumped out of the car to run in to tell her dad and the car kept going. Because it was not only not in park, it was just, she just got out.

• 36:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Thank you. Is that it? That's it?

• 36:06Karen Kilgariff?

  I think that's it.

• 36:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Thanks for listening, everyone. If you want to hear more, we have one more bonus story on our fan cult, if you feel like it.

• 36:13Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right. You can join our fan cults.

• 36:16Georgia Hardstark?

  At myfavoritemurder.com.

• 36:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Dot com. And then you can have all the secret content that we won't just give any old person that swings by.

• 36:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Who do you think you are?

• 36:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Goddamn. Stay sexy.

• 36:28Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 36:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 36:30Speaker 05

  Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 36:39Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 36:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

• 36:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Lasaveta.

• 36:47Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci.

• 36:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 36:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 36:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 36:59Georgia Hardstark?

  And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

• 37:01Karen Kilgariff?

  And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show. Goodbye.

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• 38:15Georgia Hardstark?

  You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.

• 38:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.

• 38:20Georgia Hardstark?

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• 38:25Karen Kilgariff?

  If you need a reset after your day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine.

• 38:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Generously spritz each foot before bed and you'll be all set. I've actually started doing this and I'm obsessed with magnesium. It does everything.

• 38:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Something like this is just like, it's simple, it's easy, and it actually works.

• 38:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. For wellness, you can feel fine Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.

• 38:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 38:47Georgia Hardstark?

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• 38:53Karen Kilgariff?

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• 38:58Georgia Hardstark?

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• 39:03Karen Kilgariff?

  And we got to get some of these clogs. I couldn't believe how cute and comfortable these Reef clogs were. They have the arch support, they have the height, they give you a little bit of height, but they're kind of simple. Check out the clogs on reef.com and redeem 15% off your first purchase.

• 39:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.