MFM Minisode 482

This week’s hometowns include a Jonas Brothers 911 call and online dating red flags. For our sources, please visit https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/episodes. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Head to social media to share your favorite moments from this episode. Instagram: instagram.com/myfavoritemurder http://instagram.com/myfavoritemurder Facebook: facebook.com/myfavoritemurder http://facebook.com/myfavoritemurder TikTok: tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder http://tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder Send your hometown stories to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. Join the Fan Cult to access ad-free episodes of My Favorite Murder. Members also receive merch store discounts, exclusive audio and video content and more! Visit www.fancult.supercast.com http://www.fancult.supercast.com/ to join. Shop for My Favorite Murder and other Exactly Right merchandise here: www.exactlyrightstore.com https://www.exactlyrightstore.com. Rate, review and follow My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Karen Kilgariff?

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Speaker 01

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• 0:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Everyone loves the idea of spending an afternoon curled up with a good book. Well, grow up, because it's almost impossible. Luckily, you can take your next great story with you on Audible. Audible has a massive selection of titles to choose from, including This American Life, new books by Michael Connelly, along with classics from Magathah Christie, and so much more. Whether you want a mystery, a true crime story, or something completely different, there's always something new to listen to. New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com/mfm. Audible, stories that speak to you. Goodbye.

• 1:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello. And welcome. To my favorite murder. That's Georgia Hardstark. That's Karen Kilgariff. This is the minisode. The minisode. We don't do it this way. But we're doing it anyway. Listen, you don't tell us what we do, or how we do it. Or you just fucking do it. Can you tell that I blue-dry my hair in the car with the windows rolled down today? Because it's so hot in LA. It's curly. It's cute. Ooh, it's so curly. I let it curl on up, because I was like, I can't get it done. I like that. Did you tell I didn't wash my hair for fucking days? Can you tell I'm living on dry shampoo? You go first. Okay. I'm not going to read you the subject line of this email, Georgia. I'm just going to start it. And it starts, "Hello, MFM crew, pets included. I wanted to write in for a while, but I didn't have a story that I could tell, mostly because those who told me their

• 2:09Karen Kilgariff?

  stories wouldn't give me permission." Fair. "My dad now retired from the US government. Don't worry, I'm working on it." Oh, come on. "Due to my dad's job, my family and I moved around a lot while I was growing up. When I was in high school, we were living in Columbia. Like many 15-year-olds, I was a babysitter at that time for a couple kids that lived in my building." One night, I was babysitting three kids and my two younger sisters. One of the kids asked me if we could do something fun. The little girl who asked, nine years old, so classic. Mm-hmm. Can we do something fun? Then asked me, in her cute little kid voice, if we could call the Jonas Brothers. I let her know that I did not personally know the Jonas Brothers and could not call them. But she insisted, what was I to do?

• 2:52Karen Kilgariff?

  So the kids and I started Googling the Jonas Brothers' phone numbers. While I didn't actually expect their numbers to be on the internet, I did think at best we would run into a phone number that fans could call into, which I knew some bands had at one point in time. At the worst, we would prank call somebody, which is also fun. That's when you're getting your babysitter hat on. Yeah. But no, Karen and Georgia, neither of these scenarios was what happened next. After 10 to 15 minutes of Googling and finding a fan page with no phone number, we finally found a thread of fan discussions on what I know now to be good old Reddit. There was a listed number where fans call in and leave messages. So I dialed the 10-digit phone number, ending it in 911.

• 3:33Karen Kilgariff?

  No, it did not ring alarm bells to me, pun intended, that the last three digits were 911. However, when the woman on the other end answered the phone saying, 911, what's your emergency? Oh, no. I knew I made a mistake. So like any kid would, I hung up and told the little girl it was the wrong number and we should go watch a movie instead. Oops. Yep. Don't take care of it. Run away. But then the phone started ringing. I yelled to my sisters in the other room not to answer it, but it went off again. Oh, my God. I looked at the 11-year-old brother, who, unlike the little ones, knew the mistake we had made. Now it's we.

• 4:08Karen Kilgariff?

  I had no other choice but to run around the house and unplug each landline Skype phone. You're just compounding it. I had no other choice. I had no other choice. I had no other choice is the beginning of everybody's autobiography of fucked up shit they did. Or just like, you had literally a million other choices. Karen. After that, we watched a movie and pretended the events of the evening never happened. My parents and the kids' parents came home shortly after and everything was fine. No one said anything about our night's activities and I plugged the phones back in before going to bed. I want to note that while living overseas, we did in fact have a phone with a US number. It was a Skype phone with a US number attached to it. Now, in order to have a US-based number, it has to be connected to a US address.

• 4:50Karen Kilgariff?

  So the next morning, my mother sat down at the dining room table after getting off the phone and turned to my dad and sisters and I, saying, "The most wild thing happened. When Grandma got home from ballet last night, the police were surrounding her house."

• 5:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh no, back in the US? Oh no.

• 5:07Karen Kilgariff?

  I had forgotten that the address attached to our phone was my grandmother's. The police asked if she was all right, saying a 911 call had been tracked back to her address. Luckily, my grandma had been out all evening, so they just chalked it up to a misunderstanding.

• 5:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Hold on, Grandma was at ballet?

• 5:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Grandma was at ballet, if not teaching ballet class.

• 5:25Georgia Hardstark?

  She's probably a young grandma, a young hip grandma. A young hip-hop, I bet she has hip-hop on Tuesdays, ballet on Wednesdays.

• 5:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Modern jazz on Thursdays.

• 5:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Zumba Fridays.

• 5:38Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it's church all weekend. I bet you're wondering if, in that moment, I confessed to the call. No, of course I didn't. It was only many years later, as an adult drinking wine with my parents, that I told them the real story of what happened. They took it well, but that could have been the wine. Thank you for all that you and the Exactly Right team do. And shout out to my friend Leah, who I got hooked on to the podcast.

• 6:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Yay.

• 6:01Karen Kilgariff?

  It's not a thank you to Leah for getting them hooked on the podcast, it's a you're welcome.

• 6:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Thank you, you're welcome, Leah.

• 6:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and don't Google celebrity phone numbers, they're almost always wrong, Kendall.

• 6:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Some fucker put that number in Reddit and was like, "Call this number."

• 6:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Try here, 911.

• 6:15Georgia Hardstark?

  I definitely called New Kids on the Block, you know, 900 line when I was a kid and definitely got in trouble for that.

• 6:22Karen Kilgariff?

  What did you think you wanted to talk about or say?

• 6:25Georgia Hardstark?

  I thought they'd fall in love with me if they knew, they didn't know about me yet, so they hadn't fallen in love with me, but if they finally knew about me, then they'd be in love with me.

• 6:32Karen Kilgariff?

  They would finally know the personality that they were waiting for.

• 6:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Right, and it's like, this whole time you've been writing songs about me and you didn't even know it. You know, I don't let them know.

• 6:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Let me solve your yearning issue. The songs won't even be necessary anymore.

• 6:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Surprise, it's me, I'm wearing fucking bicycle shorts and a fucking...

• 6:50Karen Kilgariff?

  And a choker.

• 6:51Georgia Hardstark?

  No, no, this is Little Georgia.

• 6:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Oversized water park shirt?

• 6:55Georgia Hardstark?

  What was that one shirt called? Hypercolor shirt?

• 6:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yes.

• 6:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. For the first time ever in my life, actually, I have reading glasses.

• 7:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Da, da, da, da.

• 7:05Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm the last of my family, the last Jewish person to get.

• 7:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Let's build it up a little bit. Ladies and gentlemen, Georgia Hardstark is going from 2020 vision to now, what is it, 2035? Does it go higher or lower?

• 7:19Georgia Hardstark?

  I think it goes higher. It's still really good, but it's just not good enough.

• 7:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Maybe 2040?

• 7:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, so here we go.

• 7:27Karen Kilgariff?

  If you just work on it, maybe you can get back.

• 7:29Georgia Hardstark?

  How do you clean these?

• 7:31Karen Kilgariff?

  You wipe them on your T-shirt is what I would say, but that any optometrist would be furious that I would be saying.

• 7:36Georgia Hardstark?

  If I look stupid, I won't wear them. Because that's what I care about. Whoa, I can see!

• 7:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Right?

• 7:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit.

• 7:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Glasses work.

• 7:46Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm not going to read you the subject line, but it's fucked up.

• 7:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, don't look.

• 7:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Podcast besties, I've never really considered writing in, but when this happened, I needed to tell you. My dad Leroy died a few weeks ago. He was 87. We weren't close.

• 8:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, okay.

• 8:07Georgia Hardstark?

  This person doesn't care. My parents divorced when I was eight, and he'd been remarried to my stepmom for over 20 years. And while I would see them once or twice a year, we didn't impact each other's daily lives.

• 8:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, best case scenario for a grief situation.

• 8:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Right. Anyone can be a parent. Cut to my dad's funeral. I had barely walked in and signed the guestbook when an older gentleman just behind me, reading my name, boomed, "You're Adam?" And shook my hand to introduce himself and his wife. "I'm Fred. I was a coworker and friend of your dad's. I could hardly get a word in. He enthusiastically told me work stories and how the two couples had traveled to the British Virgin Islands and sailed a catamaran together."

• 8:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow.

• 8:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Fred was excited to send me his photos once he got home, so he typed his email address into my phone, and I pushed send. I excused myself to visit with a parade of long- unseen relatives making my way into the chapel, my dad's open casket at the head of the room. As the service began, I settled into the front row seat next to my siblings. The chaplain called for anyone who'd like to speak, and Fred stepped forward. This is a celebration, he proclaimed, followed by his work and catamaran stories. Fred mentioned how he and my dad would often meet up for lunch to one-up each other's travel stories. His speech closed with, "Godspeed, Leroy, and hold the door open for the rest of us." Fred walked back to his seat a few rows behind me.

• 9:26Georgia Hardstark?

  My stepmom followed and had only taken the podium for a few minutes when a series of loud and terrible noises echoed. Then it says, "Yak, yak, yak." The service halted, and everyone's head turned towards the sound. "Is Fred okay?" my stepmom asked to the bewildered room. Fred had slumped forward in his pew, and the noises had stopped. Subdued panic ensued. Two men lifted and carried Fred to the central aisle between the pews, laid him on the floor, and started CPR as we waited for paramedics to arrive.

• 10:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, no.

• 10:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Fred was unresponsive. This is called death at a funeral.

• 10:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my. Okay. I'm so sorry. I was confused because when you said yak, yak, yak, I thought Fred was like heckling the stepmother where I'm like, "Whoa, that's Fred."

• 10:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Yak, yak, yak.

• 10:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. Oh, my God.

• 10:17Georgia Hardstark?

  A trio of paramedics assembled a stretcher under Fred and placed a compression machine over his chest and started an IV. As the medics wheeled Fred down the aisle, his wife yelled, "Don't stop that machine." And they were all gone, leaving us mourners paralyzed in shock.

• 10:31Karen Kilgariff?

  What would you even do?

• 10:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Right. I looked at the funeral home employees for guidance, wondering, "Do we keep going? Do we reschedule the funeral? How long do we have this place for? Is there a funeral after us?" A cousin took the podium and took charge, and the funeral was back on track. Following more speeches, prayers, and songs, my dad's casket was wheeled into the back of a hearse. As the chaplain was giving the final prayer for my father at the gravesite, he announced that we would also have a separate prayer for Fred, who didn't make it.

• 11:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my God.

• 11:02Georgia Hardstark?

  He followed. He's like, "I'm gonna leave the door open for us." And Leroy was like, "Got you."

• 11:07Karen Kilgariff?

  And if it was a movie?

• 11:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Karen Kilgariff?

  He would be walking back to his seat and like, sit down and then be like, "Hey, buddy." And he'd be like, "What?"

• 11:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 11:15Karen Kilgariff?

  I did what you asked.

• 11:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Be careful what you wish for. I guess Fred had pulled the ultimate one-up on my dad by all caps, dying at his funeral.

• 11:23Karen Kilgariff?

  God damn.

• 11:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Because remember he was saying how they do one up stories about their trips?

• 11:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 11:28Georgia Hardstark?

  This is the ultimate trip. I hope my dad, quote, "held the door open for him." "The last email in my phone was to Fred, who had promised to send me photos. A somber reminder that time is never guaranteed. Stay sexy and hold the door open. Adam, he/him."

• 11:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Adam, like, oh, my god.

• 11:47Georgia Hardstark?

  I love that this happened and the first thing he thought was, I have to tell Karen and Georgia about it. That's a favorite.

• 11:53Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, I would say absolutely that funeral goes on.

• 11:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 11:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Because that isn't the thing that's finalizing and making anything. It's just an observation and you're still, you're observing it maybe even more.

• 12:06Georgia Hardstark?

  And he wasn't dead yet. Like, he wasn't fully pronounced dead.

• 12:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 12:10Georgia Hardstark?

  So you gotta keep going.

• 12:11Karen Kilgariff?

  You just gotta keep going in the, in the gray.

• 12:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Adam's dad gave him a gift when he left, which is a story for the mini set.

• 12:17Karen Kilgariff?

  A story, but then also it is a nice idea because I've heard many, and like even in our family, stories about people coming to get other people. So you know Fred got picked up.

• 12:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. I love it.

• 12:30Karen Kilgariff?

  What if he's like, you know, I can't go. It's my funeral. I'm sitting over here trying to listen to my compliments.

• 12:37Speaker 03

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• 13:05Karen Kilgariff?

  There are plenty of things that keep you up at night. Your sleep tracker shouldn't be one of them.

• 13:09Georgia Hardstark?

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• 13:11Karen Kilgariff?

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• 13:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Instead, you'll get personalized insights to understand your sleep and recommendations to build a routine you'll love night after night.

• 13:22Karen Kilgariff?

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• 13:23Georgia Hardstark?

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• 13:27Karen Kilgariff?

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• 14:12Karen Kilgariff?

  use offer code MURDER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Goodbye.

• 14:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. The subject line of this email is "Red Flags and Online Dating." Greetings to Frank and only Frank. Ah. About six years ago, I was engaged in the world of online dating. And then a parentheses that says, "Yikes. 99% of the time, I did all the smart things. Only meet in public places. Don't tell people my number or address until I get to know them in person, have an escape plan, etc." Then I started talking to this one guy, and we headed off instantly. After only about two days of messaging, I threw all caution to the wind. That's what people do. Yeah, love. Ugh. For some reason...

• 14:56Karen Kilgariff?

  For some reason, I decided that our first date should be at my house. I told him my address. What? I know. I mean, that's the thing, though. It's like, you're positive. Yeah. I told him my address. We exchanged numbers, and I offered to make a fancy dinner. I mean, in all the playbooks, you're doing this as wrong as you can. Third date, at least. And you don't cook. No. Relevant information. I live in farm country. Between my house and the paved road are sprawling acres of corn and soybeans on one side of the gravel driveway and dense woods, perfect for burying evidence, on the other. The cell service is if you had best. This is a fucking horror movie. My date arrived just before dusk, called nervously from my driveway, and I literally said, "Ha ha, this is creepy. Please don't be a murderer."

• 15:41Karen Kilgariff?

  He pulled up and I cheerfully invited him inside. At that exact moment, as though we were in the opening act of a horror movie, the power on the entire property went out. A sane person would have gotten right the fuck out of there, but instead, we stood outside awkwardly and visited my goats until it got too dark to see. He was clearly about to leave when the power came back on. I casually said, "Great, come on in and we'll have dinner."

• 16:05Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 16:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Just, just rolling with whatever the electricity wants you to do. He agreed, but as I recall, it was a very quiet meal. To this day, I still don't know what was wrong with either of us. And of course, I would never do this in a post-MFM world. Yeah, I mean, hey, that feels good. Anyway, we got married this past January and it's so perfectly done.

• 16:25Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it!

• 16:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Just well done.

• 16:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 16:27Karen Kilgariff?

  And despite our many bizarre hobbies, neither of us has turned out to be a catfishing murderer yet. Thanks for everything you do. I finally started going to therapy a year ago, thanks in part to your show. Stay sexy and if you're going to lure a stranger into a dark cornfield, make sure it's your soulmate, Casey Norton. Thank you for a beautiful email, Casey Norton.

• 16:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Casey, you still don't know if it's a long con.

• 16:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Ugh.

• 16:49Georgia Hardstark?

  You know?

• 16:50Karen Kilgariff?

  You sap. You fell for it. You're in the five-year scheme.

• 16:54Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right, the five-year serial killer. Okay, I'm not gonna read you this line, I'm like, "Light of this one." This feels good. I feel smart.

• 17:02Karen Kilgariff?

  You're gonna start finessing how you take them off and put them back on.

• 17:05Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm gonna rip 'em off.

• 17:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Yep.

• 17:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Uh, if there's any glasses companies who wanna sponsor us. Hi, I'm a long-time listener, full-time lover of the pod. Six years ago, I moved from rural Massachusetts to New Orleans to escape my abusive ex and start over. One night after a lovely evening with friends, it was time to head home. I got in my car but hadn't locked the doors. I turned up my music pretty loud and was in my own world, unaware someone had been watching me. A moment later, a man in a face mask opened my passenger door, jumped in, held a gun to my side and demanded everything I had. I guess I was pretty fed up with brazen men that year, so I began screaming profanities at him with an intensity and volume neither of us expected.

• 17:52Georgia Hardstark?

  This is called "What Not to Do During a Carjacking",

• 17:54Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right.

• 17:55Georgia Hardstark?

  is the subject line of this one. "He began screaming back, demanding my cellphone. It was a crappy old Android, but I was so broke and had just paid it off, so I yelled, 'Fuck you, no, I need this phone.' After more yelling, he gave up on the phone and demanded my wallet. I yelled that I had no cash and I was just going to cancel my credit cards anyway. We both continued screaming at each other."

• 18:17Karen Kilgariff?

  We were married this past January.

• 18:21Georgia Hardstark?

  And now, I was nearly blacked out on adrenaline and Taylor Swift's "I Think He Knows" was still blasting full volume.

• 18:30Karen Kilgariff?

  That's very creepy.

• 18:31Georgia Hardstark?

  It was all pretty overstimulating, to say the least. When I got, not carjacked, but harassed by this driver, it was a road rage thing where he came at me, I hadn't turned down what I was listening to, so Tina Fey's memoir is blasting on the video. I'm taking video of him because I'm terrified and all you hear is Tina Fey's bossy pants just blasting.

• 18:55Karen Kilgariff?

  She's like, "No crying in the workplace."

• 18:59Georgia Hardstark?

  My brain finally engaged and I thought, "Girl, what are you doing arguing with this man? Just get out of the car." So I pushed open my door and ran about 30 feet before I realized he wasn't following me, he just wanted my car. I stopped and watched him slide into the driver's seat, ready to see my beloved old Honda peel away, but nothing happened. I heard the grinding of gears and realized, "He can't drive a stick shift." You'd think you'd check that first. A carjacker would...

• 19:25Karen Kilgariff?

  I think it's this assumed thing, like they're so rare anymore, maybe.

• 19:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Carjackers, write in and let us know what your tips and tricks are.

• 19:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Let us know how you make these decisions.

• 19:33Georgia Hardstark?

  He jumped out of the car, screamed, "You can have it", and sprinted away into the night. This is so funny, but this is so terrifying and awful. Lock your door the minute you get in, drive away, don't start music.

• 19:42Karen Kilgariff?

  If someone wants your car, give them your phone.

• 19:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Give them your car, your phone, your wallet.

• 19:46Karen Kilgariff?

  It's not cute to scream. It's not, but that's a, I like that this person is like, I did it wrong. And there's other things going on, like an adrenaline rush. Like this is a situation where you can't always control and make those decisions.

• 19:58Georgia Hardstark?

  The subject line is literally what not to do during carjacking. So they know, I called 911 because it seemed like the right thing to do, but it's New Orleans. So it rang for quite a while until a nice lady picked up. After I explained what happened, the dispatcher laughed and said, so he didn't take anything and you're not hurt and he's gone. Okay, my baby, well, you have a good night. And that was that. That's so New Orleans, baby. A couple of days later, I saw an advisory story on the news about how to survive a carjacking. For future reference, you should stay calm and not resist, especially if they have a weapon, a gun. So I can't recommend my method. I know I was lucky to get out unharmed, except for some light trauma to add to my collection. Stay sexy, lock your doors, and if you're going to do crime, at least learn how to drive a stick. A in New Orleans.

• 20:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Hey, you're so right. And you know what sucks about that too, is like we're correcting it on that side, but we're also not, A's experience is horrifying and not their fault. And you know what I mean? Being in that situation, you can't, you're not going like, I'm going to either choose A or B. It's like you just kind of have a reaction.

• 20:59Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean, it's all, it's all on Taylor Swift, really.

• 21:02Karen Kilgariff?

  It really comes back. And when the lawsuit is served.

• 21:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Right, to us for saying that, for defamation.

• 21:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Directly to us.

• 21:40Georgia Hardstark?

  There are plenty of things that keep you up at night. Your sleep tracker shouldn't be one of them.

• 21:44Karen Kilgariff?

  You know that feeling, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, counting all the times you said something weird.

• 21:49Georgia Hardstark?

  And then you wake up and check your sleep score. Now you have to start your day knowing that you failed at sleeping.

• 21:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Hatch Sleep Clock does it differently.

• 21:57Georgia Hardstark?

  It tracks your sleep from your nightstand. No ring, wristband, or judgmental score waiting for you in the morning.

• 22:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Instead, you'll get personalized insights to understand your sleep and recommendations to build a routine you'll love night after night.

• 22:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Fall asleep to the next chapter of an audiobook, like The Odyssey, a nervous system reset meditation, or a calming sound bath.

• 22:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Then you can find out which gives you 20 more minutes of deep sleep each night.

• 22:19Georgia Hardstark?

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• 22:21Karen Kilgariff?

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• 22:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye. Buying furniture is a lot of pressure. It has to look good, feel good, and hold up to everyday life.

• 22:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Take it from me, a bad couch can ruin your life.

• 22:34Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why Article focuses on stylish, high-quality pieces designed to last.

• 22:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an unbeatable price.

• 22:43Georgia Hardstark?

  They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time. There's no filler. Every item is chosen for its craftsmanship, design, and lasting value.

• 22:53Karen Kilgariff?

  And with Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. Man, there was nothing I loved more than when I was broke and I could still buy furniture that I needed at Article. It wasn't cheap-looking. It's like I was investing in these pieces that were comparatively inexpensive, and I was finishing rooms. I was getting the kitchen table that was bringing the whole thing together. And it was such an incredible thing because I never got to do that before. I love that about Article.

• 23:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 23:30Karen Kilgariff?

  To claim, visit article.com/murder, and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

• 23:35Georgia Hardstark?

  That's article.com/murder for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 23:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 23:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, my last one is a delight. I'm not going to read you the subject line. It says, "Hello, chickadees. I love you, but I hope you already know that." Okay, on to the story. Perfect. Perfect. "When I was nine years old, my brother entered a contest on something called Speaker's Corner in Vancouver, British Columbia." Now, I heard about these from my Canadian friends when they moved to LA in the 90s. Really? Was it an old-school thing? It's an old-school thing from the news, but then they also did it on Much Music, which is Canada's MTV. Yeah. Okay, so listen to this. Speaker's Corner. "We had Speaker's Corner booths all over Vancouver and the surrounding suburbs. They kind of looked like ATMs, and you'd put in a toony, a $2 Canadian coin, and record a message into the booth for 60 seconds." Okay.

• 24:27Karen Kilgariff?

  So you just basically got to go in there and be like, "Here's how I feel." "Highlights from the Speaker's Corner booths aired on a TV show on our local news station every Friday night. You'd get a nice mixture of drunk women in BCBG skirts, mediocre guitar-playing, and people passing on messages to their grandmas." That's cute. And then it says, "It was a big deal. I would watch that show all day and night." Yeah. "The news station announced a contest to celebrate the opening of the Tower of Terror ride at Disneyland. To enter the contest, you had to record a video at Speaker's Corner pretending that you just got off the ride, talking about what the trip was like. The winner would get an all-expense-paid trip to Disneyland for their family on opening weekend of the ride." Wow. "Then come on the local morning show following the trip and report back."

• 25:12Karen Kilgariff?

  That's huge. "My brother decided to enter, so he went to the mall, got ice cream from the food court, and then got down to business. My 12-year-old brother approached the booth with chocolate ice cream smeared across his face. He put in his toony, waited for the recording countdown, then proceeded to say, 'Wow, I just got off the Tower of Terror at Disneyland, and man, if your favorite saying is, 'The family that barfs together stays together,' you will love this ride. Okay, bye.'"

• 25:38Karen Kilgariff?

  That was his message. Okay. Fast forward a month or so, and the news station called my mom to share that my brother had made it to the top 10. And the winner would be announced the next morning. We woke up early, sat right in front of our TV and waited for them to air the 10 best submissions. To our surprise, there was no top 10. They just said, "And the winner is..." and his video flashed across the screen. Oh, my god. My brother won. We couldn't believe it. He was a local celebrity. And then it just says, "Barf Kid." We were flown from Vancouver to Anaheim, put up at the Disneyland Hotel, which is the best. Yeah. And we got to experience the park for the first time. We were camping kids and hadn't stayed at a hotel that wasn't a Best Western before that trip, so this was a big deal.

• 26:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Before the park opened, a little old man walked us up to the front gates, took out a key, and let us in. What? What kind of Willy Wonka fucking bullshit is that? Seriously. Have you ever gotten to do that? No. You're a citizen of Anaheim. I've gotten kicked out of Disneyland. They escorted me out, not in. Ma'am, the park was completely empty except for us and the camera crew. My brother started to get super nervous. He wasn't sure if he wanted to ride it, especially with a camera in his face and the looming possibility of actual barf. He finally got up the courage to get on the ride, and he did not barf, but he didn't ride it again. It is a really good ride. Yeah, it is. When we returned from the trip, he was a guest on the morning news show.

• 27:05Karen Kilgariff?

  The anchor asked him what he thought of Tower of Terror, clearly hoping that he'd give it a rave review. He took a breath, looked at the camera, and said, "Eh, it wasn't for me." I did a little reenactment. Yeah, that was great. It wasn't for me. A 12-year-old boy. A 12-year-old boy. We went back to Disneyland years later without the cameras and back at old, faithful Best Western. And we all rode Tower of Terror about six times in a row. We loved it. Maybe it is true that the family that almost barfs together stays together. Stay sexy and don't be afraid to make your TV debut with ice cream on your face. Fiona. Wow, that's such a great gimmick. I love that. So smart. So smart and so cute. And it's so like...

• 27:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you got, kids need to remember, for stuff like that, if they're giving away a trip, get in there, they want to give it to a kid.

• 27:56Georgia Hardstark?

  They do, totally. They don't want to give it to some fucking 23-year-old drunk guys.

• 28:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, or some mom who's like, "I'm gonna choreograph a dance and we'll all do it as a family."

• 28:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, not gonna read you this. "Dear Karen in Georgia, this is a story about my stepdad, Joe." Joe is a, and then it's in title font, "snack enthusiast."

• 28:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Hmm, me too.

• 28:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Me too. "Always having a chocolate bar or a bag of crisps shoved down the side of the sofa." And it says, "One time as a teenager, I got off the couch and had a whole twixt stuck to my thigh." Sorry, stuck to my tights. Gross. I disagree. It's exciting. It could be a lot worse than that.

• 28:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Candy, yeah, for real.

• 28:34Georgia Hardstark?

  He also has a million stories about almost being jumped in Glasgow in the 80s, and this one is my favorite. Glasgow in the 80s was a dangerous fucking place to be.

• 28:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Listen, there's some of the best people in the world in Glasgow, but they were having a serious heroin problem around that time.

• 28:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Heroin and British people problem.

• 28:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 28:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, and they were not happy about either of them. "One night, when he was in his early 20s, he was walking home through a bad area and bought a Mars bar for the journey." And then it says, "I believe UK Mars bar equals US Milky Way."

• 29:05Karen Kilgariff?

  That's correct. I can confirm.

• 29:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. "Unwrapping the Mars bar, he noticed a group of people up ahead, but only realized too late that they were the type to land you in the hospital for literally any reason if you encountered them."

• 29:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Can I?

• 29:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Hooligans, what?

• 29:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Hooligans, and also, just to give a little perspective, and I've probably said this already, but I did get to live in Glasgow for three months. And there is a thing there with the young people, when they would go out to clubs, you didn't wear a jacket, no matter how cold it was outside. You had to look like hard, like you could just withstand the weather. So, girls would be standing outside in like 40-degree weather, and, you know, just like standing there in their dress, like acting like they weren't cold.

• 29:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Did you see a lot of fights?

• 29:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yeah. I mean, the post-club scene at like the local Chinese place was incredible.

• 29:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 29:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Incredible viewing.

• 29:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god, amazing. "So, they became aware of him and started circling and hurling abuse at him. Joe, knowing that he was minutes from having his head kicked in, felt his legs turn to stone and he could not move. They accused Joe of getting with one of their girlfriends so that they had an excuse to jump him. Unable to speak, Joe just kept on eating his Mars bar." Now, Joe has a very specific way of eating a Mars bar that begins with him nibbling the chocolate off all the sides like a beaver, then peeling the caramel off with his teeth before eating the remaining nougat. Mmm. That's how I eat Twix. Do you? Yeah. Layer by layer. Only alone. I won't do it in fucking in front of anyone. Ga, ga, ga, ga, ga. Ugh.

• 30:35Georgia Hardstark?

  So, this is what he did while this pack of hounds harassed him. Suddenly, miraculously, the guys backed down and slouched off, probably to go beat up some other sucker, and after finally getting feeling back in his legs, Joe ran straight home. So he's just standing there eating this Mars bar. The next morning, he was walking through the Baras, a big market in the east end of Glasgow. The Baras. Baras. Spas. Where he kept passing people who shot him a big thumbs up and nods of respect. He had no idea what they were doing and just shrugged it off until he met a friend that exclaimed, "You're a mad bastard," when he saw Joe. Confused, Joe asked him what the fuck he was talking about. His friend replied, quote, "Eating a Mars bar like that when you're about to get jumped?" exclamation mark.

• 31:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Apparently, when Joe didn't respond to their taunts and kept on eating his chocolate bar like a beaver, the group had decided he was a stone-cold psychopath. [laughing] Who wasn't worth crossing and bounced before he did them any damage, before going on to tell everyone in town that he was not to be messed with. Yes. Ideal situation. I know. Joe felt like a local celebrity all morning, and he got to keep his kneecaps all around a great day, I imagine. Good job on the pod. Heart, SSDGM. Good job on the pod. Martha. God, Martha, thank you. Tell Joe we say, "Good job." I mean, just, "Hi." Hi. What's up? Also, if you were from Glasgow and you want to tell us what it was really like in the

• 32:02Georgia Hardstark?

  80s, because we don't really know what we're talking about, we, that's always a given. Sure. And we would love to hear, I mean, any stories of any kind. At myfavoritemail@gmail, send them in to us. We need them, please. This is what happens. This is what it is, and we can't do it without you. Yeah, good job on the pod. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 32:31Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 32:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

• 32:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Lassaveto.

• 32:39Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci.

• 32:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 32:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 32:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 32:51Georgia Hardstark?

  And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

• 32:53Karen Kilgariff?

  And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show.

• 32:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 33:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Calling all amateur detectives and podcast obsessives.

• 33:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Virgin Voyages' second True Crime Voyage sets sail March 20, 2027, for a five-night escape to Grand Turk and the Beach Club at Bimini.

• 33:19Karen Kilgariff?

  As part of the On Air at Sea collection, this immersive sailing brings together fan favorite podcasts, including Disgrace Land, Buried Bones, and Wisecrack, for live recordings, behind-the-scenes access, exclusive meet-and-greets, and crime-themed programming that you won't find anywhere else.

• 33:35Georgia Hardstark?

  All aboard our award-winning, kid-free ships.

• 33:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to virginvoyages.com/truecrime to secure your spot.

• 33:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 33:43Speaker 03

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