Ep 269: Adam Ray

Mark and Sam are joined by Adam Ray for a loose, hungover, anything-goes episode that starts in chaos and somehow gets worse. They break down a brutal night out after the Comedy Cellar, Santino sightings, canceled shows, icy NYC misery, and drunken bar decisions that spiral fast. Adam dives into stand-up war stories, crowd psychology, bombing vs. crushing, celebrity impressions, and why timing and confidence are everything. There’s talk of Hollywood rooms, green rooms, ego checks, dating disasters, and the strange math of who looks hot after enough drinks. Classic shop talk, brutal honesty, and a lot of laughs from three comics who’ve seen it all and are still confused by it. Go to https://Lucy.co/DRUNK and use promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/DRUNK Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Adam Ray: https://www.adamraycomedy.com Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Sam Morril?

  Are we fucking rolling? We're rolling. I had that pic too Peters I sent you.

• 0:10Mark Normand?

  Look at that, Big Reiner, double R.

• 0:12Sam Morril?

  Aw, fuck.

• 0:13Mark Normand?

  Tim Dillon.

• 0:13Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 0:14Mark Normand?

  We're cooking.

• 0:16Mark Normand?

  Uh, yeah. Hungover.

• 0:17Sam Morril?

  Billy Anderson, he just made the wall.

• 0:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, what took so long?

• 0:20Sam Morril?

  Who got bumped?

• 0:24Sam Morril?

  Bert?

• 0:24Mark Normand?

  Uh, Bert.

• 0:28Sam Morril?

  A lot of diversity.

• 0:29Mark Normand?

  Wait, what? We lost Bernie?

• 0:32Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah.

• 0:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, he can go higher.

• 0:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's out of shot. What if we move on to?

• 0:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we'll figure it out later.

• 0:39Mark Normand?

  All right, all right, it's a bunch of dead people.

• 0:40Sam Morril?

  I'm fucking hurting dude, I'm like, I. What was last night?

• 0:44Sam Morril?

  Santino in town, we were hanging at the cellar, not the hottest crowd, we were both a little annoyed.

• 0:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 0:49Sam Morril?

  And I was like, you wanna hit a bar? And he was like, yeah. We hit a fucking village haunt.

• 0:54Mark Normand?

  Woo!

• 0:54Sam Morril?

  We get smashed.

• 0:56Mark Normand?

  Nice.

• 0:56Sam Morril?

  Good times.

• 0:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, the, the, last night was a rough night, it was the coldest day of the year, so like, half my shows got cancelled.

• 1:03Sam Morril?

  It was crazy and, and we just, we're, we're just getting lit up and it's like, I tried to get Normaned out, I just missed, oh yeah, that's our last night.

• 1:10Mark Normand?

  You just missed me, I was already over the bridge.

• 1:11Sam Morril?

  Cause you were on the bridge already, I was like, come on, come join us. But we, yeah, we, we were getting hammered, some girl was on a date and she was next to us and she was trying, she was chatting us like while on the date, then she was like making out with some Swedish guy.

• 1:22Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:23Sam Morril?

  And then she wouldn't go home with him, so she just like, was hanging with us and we were just like cra- she was bombed.

• 1:28Mark Normand?

  Wow, how was the sex?

• 1:32Sam Morril?

  I tell you, after a few drinks, she did look pretty good.

• 1:34Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:34Sam Morril?

  So did Santino, we were that drunk.

• 1:36Mark Normand?

  You're like a redhead.

• 1:39Sam Morril?

  Man, uh, she was hilarious, she was just telling us stories, she's like, I was like, why didn't you go home with him? She's like, cause I got my Brazilian tomorrow and, and we're like, yeah, no guy gives a shit.

• 1:49Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:49Sam Morril?

  I mean, you could be on your period, I'll still go down on you, I don't give a shit.

• 1:52Mark Normand?

  Exactly, Bloody Mary.

• 1:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. My wife told me, I wish I had known this, she's like, girls only wanna have sex when they feel hot. Which is so weird.

• 2:02Sam Morril?

  I guess first impressions matter, but I said, if you really liked him, you would've gone home with him.

• 2:06Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 2:07Sam Morril?

  And then you could tell she didn't really like it. She's like, but he's so nice. And we were like,

• 2:10Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 2:11Sam Morril?

  Nice. And then I was like, let me guess, you banged a fucking jerk off like two weeks ago. And she's like, I did.

• 2:16Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 2:17Sam Morril?

  She banged an asshole too. I was like, nice guys finish last.

• 2:20Mark Normand?

  They really do. They really, well, that guy finished first alone.

• 2:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 2:23Mark Normand?

  By himself. But yeah, they really do. It's sad. But the women want a nice guy, but they don't want to bang him. It's a, it's a horrible world.

• 2:29Sam Morril?

  We got smashed and they're giving us these like, you know, like when we were at the bar the other night, Analog, which is gonna serve Analog in the Village, gonna serve Bodega Cat.

• 2:36Mark Normand?

  Woo.

• 2:36Sam Morril?

  Cool little swanky bar. And Mark and I go in there and they're making us like peanut butter whiskey drinks.

• 2:42Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 2:42Sam Morril?

  It's like a PB and J, but it's with our whiskey.

• 2:44Mark Normand?

  Unreal.

• 2:44Sam Morril?

  It's so, but that's the problem. They were making a shit like that at Sippin' Guzzle last night. And it's so good. And you're just like, oh, man. It's like, well, they're like, you know, this is so good. And they're like, yeah, we're not supposed to have seven of them. I'm like, well, then don't make it taste like fucking peanut butter and jelly, dude.

• 2:57Mark Normand?

  I know, of course.

• 2:57Sam Morril?

  This is delicious.

• 2:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, the booze business is down, so they gotta get creative. They're getting real. Kids are gonna start drinking with these tasty flavors.

• 3:05Sam Morril?

  Well, you would, everyone's saying, now, everyone's saying, you gotta go out there and drink.

• 3:08Mark Normand?

  Hmm. Yes.

• 3:09Sam Morril?

  Like, a lot of health experts are like, it's not worth the lack of isolation.

• 3:13Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 3:14Sam Morril?

  To be social, which I don't know if your body knows the difference.

• 3:17Mark Normand?

  Right, right, right. But still.

• 3:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but.

• 3:19Mark Normand?

  You meet people, you get laid, you make mistakes, you have fun, you have an adventure, you're living life.

• 3:24Sam Morril?

  Speaking of drinking, you finally watched my Rex Alex use.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Well, I watched the first half, like six months ago, and then I put you off six months.

• 3:31Sam Morril?

  And then you had to go get a Brazilian wax and finish it.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  And cause I was like, this movie is not, ah, is that your review?

• 3:38Mark Normand?

  I'm listening.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I was like, it just doesn't do it for me. And then you're like, just finish the scene you're on. And I did. And I was like, this movie kicked into like six gear.

• 3:47Mark Normand?

  Yes. It has everything. Cause it's got the, the wife stuff, and then the fun with the friends, but then the trauma. It's, it's got it all.

• 3:54Sam Morril?

  It's a, it is a realistic look at like how fun drinking can be and how sad drinking can be.

• 3:58Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly.

• 3:59Sam Morril?

  And that ending, dude, fuck.

• 4:02Mark Normand?

  Heavy, heavy.

• 4:03Sam Morril?

  Love a crazy ending, dude.

• 4:05Mark Normand?

  That, that's a great movie. What is it, Dutch?

• 4:08Sam Morril?

  I think, is it Danish or Norwegian?

• 4:10Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 4:11Mark Normand?

  It's Danish, but...

• 4:12Speaker 02

  I don't know the difference between the two, to be honest.

• 4:13Mark Normand?

  It's too fun to be Norwegian.

• 4:15Sam Morril?

  Denmark and Norway.

• 4:16Mark Normand?

  Norway, they're boring.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  That's Simonson's from, it's the other one.

• 4:19Sam Morril?

  Denmark.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Alright, that's what it is.

• 4:20Mark Normand?

  There we go.

• 4:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, Mads Mikkelsen is such a good fucking actor too, that guy rules. And also this guy did another movie, Thomas Vinterberg, he had two other great movies. One's called The Celebration.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 4:32Sam Morril?

  You've seen that?

• 4:32Speaker 02

  I didn't know it was the same guy.

• 4:33Sam Morril?

  Dude, so that movie, the same actor, the guy who's the racist brother is the friend in this.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Holy shit.

• 4:38Sam Morril?

  So, uh, The Celebration is basically, this is the premise, it's a rich family, it's the dad's 60th birthday, and it's this big fancy event, and the son gives this toast and he goes, "I'd like to thank everyone for being here, uh, specifically, you know, my dad, who fucked me and my sister when we were six years old."

• 4:55Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 4:56Sam Morril?

  And that's how it starts.

• 4:58Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 4:58Sam Morril?

  And you're like, "How is this, how is this birthday gonna get crazy?" It's a weird ass, dark movie.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  And it's shot like documentary style. It's like the Dogma 95 guys who were just like, no hair, no makeup, no lighting, just story.

• 5:11Sam Morril?

  If you like a, I mean, they're funny in parts too, so dark in some parts, obviously. He did another one called The Hunt, this, this director's sick.

• 5:18Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 5:19Sam Morril?

  And, uh, Mads Mikkelsen's in The Hunt also. It's, that's a good, kinda like cancel culture type movie.

• 5:24Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 5:25Sam Morril?

  About a teacher who gets wrongfully accused of sleeping with a student.

• 5:28Mark Normand?

  Whoa, mama.

• 5:29Sam Morril?

  That one's pretty dark, but it's, they're all fucking good, man.

• 5:32Mark Normand?

  I'm, I'm hooked, The Celebration, I'll watch that this weekend.

• 5:34Sam Morril?

  It's a fucking good flick.

• 5:36Mark Normand?

  Where do you go from there?

• 5:38Sam Morril?

  I mean...

• 5:38Mark Normand?

  It's the full Menendez brothers in the first two minutes.

• 5:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah. No, I mean, that's kinda, I don't wanna give it away.

• 5:43Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay.

• 5:44Sam Morril?

  I want people to watch, it's great.

• 5:45Mark Normand?

  Holy moly.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  But you were telling me about this, we were talking about another round, you were telling me about the director.

• 5:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  He based the, the son character after his daughter.

• 5:55Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  Who was like doing a lot of heavy drinking in college, and, do you know the rest of the story?

• 6:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  She died four weeks before filming.

• 6:02Sam Morril?

  So it's like an emotional movie for sure. It's terrible, but yeah, dude, the movie is incredible.

• 6:08Mark Normand?

  It's funny how emotion helps art, like, I think the Fleetwood Mac rumors is one of the best albums of all time. And they were all fucking each other, breaking up, hating each other, loving each other. I think that's added to the album.

• 6:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we should have fucked Godfrey. It would have been a better episode.

• 6:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he'll talk dirty to you a lot.

• 6:27Sam Morril?

  You know who else is a fan of fucking me?

• 6:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Mark Normand?

  Daryl Hammond said I was the best fucker ever had. But we love Godfrey.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Speaking of the album rumors, I've looked at this album maybe a thousand times. Did anyone notice those balls hanging on him?

• 6:41Mark Normand?

  Oh shit, look at that, it's like truck nuts.

• 6:45Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 6:45Mark Normand?

  It looks like the cherries at a slot machine.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  That's always been there.

• 6:49Mark Normand?

  Huh, what is it?

• 6:50Sam Morril?

  I'm getting to the age where that looks pretty realistic.

• 6:55Sam Morril?

  You sit down, you're like, oof.

• 6:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 6:57Sam Morril?

  The good days are over.

• 6:58Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 7:00Sam Morril?

  The only time your balls feel tight anymore is when it's this cold out.

• 7:03Mark Normand?

  That's true, and I get a cold plunge.

• 7:05Sam Morril?

  Oh, I love, I love the cold plunge. I miss it. I can't do it in the winter, man.

• 7:09Mark Normand?

  No, it's crazy.

• 7:10Sam Morril?

  This is fucking crazy.

• 7:12Mark Normand?

  It's good when you're drinking, though. When you're out drunk and the cold air hits you, it's kinda nice.

• 7:17Sam Morril?

  Dude, I got, you wanna hear a crazy road story that happened to me this weekend?

• 7:20Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:21Sam Morril?

  I'm at the DC Improv. I check into this hotel. Vida arrives before me, so he already checks in. And I'm checking in and they were like, "Yeah, you already checked in?" I was like, "No, no, this is my friend." They're like, "All right, whatever." They just give me the key. Vida and I are gonna get lunch. So he just walks to the room with me. We open the door. It's a husband and wife in the room. And the guy goes, "What the fuck?" And I was like, "Oh shit, I'm sorry, man. I got the key right here." And, uh...

• 7:44Mark Normand?

  Were they, you know, decent?

• 7:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they were decent. They were decent, but it was still, uh... It's still like weird, you know, it's intrusive and you're like, "Oh shit." And then he goes, "You're that comedian." I was like, "Oh shit, I'm sorry, man."

• 7:56Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 7:57Sam Morril?

  So we, I'm like, and he was like, he laughed it off. And then we go to the front desk and we're like, "Oh, this happened." They weren't even like that nice about it. They were like, "All right, whatever." And we were like, "That's kinda weird."

• 8:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah. You fucked me. I could have gotten shot by walking in the wrong room.

• 8:09Sam Morril?

  It's just, and you just look like a dick. And, uh, and they were like, "All right, here's your new key." He's like, "Are we good?" And I was like, we, Vida and I look at each other. I was like, I told Vida, I was like, I felt like we were on like a hidden camera Jew show. Do they haggle? And we were like, we were looking at each other like, there should be a lunch.

• 8:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 8:25Sam Morril?

  They should have offered a free lunch.

• 8:28Sam Morril?

  Although even when they do, Vito always says, it doesn't feel as good as when you pay for it.

• 8:32Mark Normand?

  The hidden camera juice show would be too sad. Here we are on Bondi Beach. No.

• 8:41Sam Morril?

  Then we, we go to the, we go to the room and Vito's like, there should have been a lunch. They should have, they should have offered. So I'm like, so I'm like checking in. I just hear him on the phone haggling. They offer a lunch. And then I, we go downstairs and we're eating lunch and they, like, three people come over to apologize. And I was like, that's weird. They were not that apologetic at first. And three people come over. They couldn't be nicer. And one guy goes, here's your new room. It's the presidential suite.

• 9:08Sam Morril?

  Fucking upgrade.

• 9:10Mark Normand?

  See the squeaky wheel. It gets the grease.

• 9:12Sam Morril?

  Vito's good. Although I will say, while he was on the phone, he was talking a lot of shit and he was pretending to be me. So when he was like, you know, this is Samaro, this is really unacceptable. I'm like, dude, you're making me sound like a fucking asshole now.

• 9:23Mark Normand?

  Was he like, yo?

• 9:27Speaker 02

  And the irony is they're trying to keep it out of the act and here it is in the act already.

• 9:31Sam Morril?

  Well, but they, but they were nice in the end.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 9:34Sam Morril?

  And I was like, this is unnecessary. They're like, no, we insist. And I was like, alright.

• 9:37Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 9:38Sam Morril?

  And then, and then you're in that big room alone. You're like, well, this is kind of sad.

• 9:43Sam Morril?

  It's not, a nice view.

• 9:44Mark Normand?

  Great view, but those suites are, because there's like three rooms and you can't even use them all.

• 9:48Sam Morril?

  I know. You're just like, what am I, but, but you know, it's kind of fun. Vito and I, he's like, we should watch a movie in here. I was like, yeah, man, we'll watch a movie.

• 9:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, go full Home Alone, you know, get the candy out.

• 9:55Sam Morril?

  It was fun. Yeah, man, where were you this weekend? You were in Brea, right?

• 9:59Mark Normand?

  Brea. Did Edelman's pod. Yeah, we had a great time.

• 10:02Sam Morril?

  Julian Edelman, you've got to get him back on here.

• 10:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so fun.

• 10:05Sam Morril?

  The nut house.

• 10:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah, great house, great time. The problem is with Brea, you're like, I'm in LA, but it's an hour and a half away. You know, so you drive in to do Edelman's pod, then you drive out and you're like, oh, now I'm in three hours of traffic.

• 10:17Sam Morril?

  Did you stay in LA?

• 10:19Mark Normand?

  No.

• 10:19Sam Morril?

  You stayed, you stayed in Brea?

• 10:21Mark Normand?

  I stayed in boring ass sleepy Brea.

• 10:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 10:24Mark Normand?

  Which was probably for the best, you know, I had a few drinks at the club and then I'd go to bed.

• 10:28Sam Morril?

  That's tough. Although, you know, I'll tell you the thing, after the show, there's no traffic.

• 10:32Mark Normand?

  That's true. That's true. And the ride to the airport at 5:00 AM on Sunday, because you got to return the rental car, was... Uh, 34 minutes to the airport, whereas it was like three hours during the week.

• 10:44Sam Morril?

  God damn.

• 10:44Mark Normand?

  By the way, here's a rec, Sixt, Sixt Rental, super cool. You ever done Sixt Rental? You don't, you don't really drive.

• 10:51Sam Morril?

  You know I haven't.

• 10:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, there's Budget, there's Avis, there's, uh...

• 10:55Sam Morril?

  Sixt.

• 10:55Mark Normand?

  Dollar, but Sixt is crazy. It's like regu- it's regular prices, but you get Beamers, Porsches.

• 11:02Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 11:03Mark Normand?

  Uh, all these like upgraded Mercedes. You could have run comedians and cars out there. I know, totally, but, uh, my manager set me up with this. I was like, what the hell, Sixt? I've never heard of this bullshit. I gotta fire this guy. And then you, you, they throw you the keys. It was super easy.

• 11:19Sam Morril?

  What were you driving?

• 11:20Mark Normand?

  I was in like this crazy ass Beamer M-series, whatever, like crystal blue, uh, crazy nav system, leather seats. I had the NOS, I had all kinds of shit. And I was whizzing and whazzing all. That was it. I had that one.

• 11:33Sam Morril?

  Ooh, that's nice.

• 11:34Mark Normand?

  It was a sexy Beamer and, uh, boy, it was fun.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Wow, it's only $700 a month?

• 11:40Mark Normand?

  A month?

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:41Mark Normand?

  A month, Jerry?

• 11:42Speaker 02

  That's what it is for a week.

• 11:43Mark Normand?

  I know. It's, it's a great little hack. So, so is Veeder.

• 11:47Sam Morril?

  So are we.

• 11:49Mark Normand?

  But, uh, but yeah, go to Sixt. I'm, I'm a fan now and they're not paying me.

• 11:54Sam Morril?

  Dude, uh, how would the show is Brea? That's a good club.

• 11:58Mark Normand?

  You know what sucks? Thursday, I had the weakest crowd. One show Thursday, two Friday, three Saturday.

• 12:03Sam Morril?

  Oh, you went, that's a weird order.

• 12:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:05Sam Morril?

  I would much prefer, I don't like flying in and doing two a night, but I would much rather two a night. The three shows on one night.

• 12:11Mark Normand?

  It's a nightmare.

• 12:12Sam Morril?

  It's tough.

• 12:12Mark Normand?

  But, uh, yeah.

• 12:13Sam Morril?

  You're on autopilot.

• 12:14Mark Normand?

  I know, but Thursday, the managers come out, the agent comes out, cause you're in Brea, you know? They all live out in LA and I had the worst show of the weekend, so they were all like, okay, good to see you. Take it easy. Maybe we should drop this guy.

• 12:27Sam Morril?

  You're doing a lot of new shit.

• 12:28Mark Normand?

  A lot of new, but then the rest of the weekend, I'm, I'm cooking, so that was a bummer.

• 12:31Sam Morril?

  It's also fun when you get that crowd that like embraces the new, man.

• 12:35Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, they want the new.

• 12:37Sam Morril?

  The best, man.

• 12:38Mark Normand?

  I know. I'm getting a lot of work done. Clubs, I'm having so much fun. I love clubs.

• 12:41Sam Morril?

  We're doing, both doing LA in May.

• 12:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the fest.

• 12:44Sam Morril?

  I, I thought we were booked the same night for a second. I almost called my agent and he was like, no, no, you're the next night. I was like, thank God.

• 12:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 12:49Sam Morril?

  You're doing the sixth? I think I'm doing the seventh.

• 12:52Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 12:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'm doing a thing with Jordan Jensen, Joe List and Rachel. It should be fun.

• 12:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a fun lineup. That's gonna be a blast, but it's gonna be a fight for who, who's going first on that one.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Are we gonna do a pod out there?

• 13:03Sam Morril?

  I think we should.

• 13:04Mark Normand?

  We should, yeah. Let's get some Paul Rudd's or some, uh, Michael Mann or some Jon Hamm's.

• 13:09Sam Morril?

  Let's see if he'll whip it out, dude.

• 13:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, let's see that ham bone. But yeah, so let's do LA. We'll do it up. It'll be nice to have some New York people in LA. Take the LA out of LA a little bit.

• 13:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah. How long you think you're gonna stay out?

• 13:23Mark Normand?

  Eh, three days. Jesus, what a fucking honker.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  That's soft.

• 13:29Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 13:30Sam Morril?

  That's nuts. What has this podcast become?

• 13:34Mark Normand?

  I don't know.

• 13:34Sam Morril?

  We're having this like intellectual film discussion, then you're like, "Check out his dick, dude." That's soft. Why don't you go home and watch heated rivalry, Salikis?

• 13:45Sam Morril?

  This show's, that show's awful.

• 13:47Mark Normand?

  It's awful. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of hearing about it. It's just a gay porn with a little bit of hockey.

• 13:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and they're like, "It's got, it's sports. You like sports." I'm like, "Yeah, you know what? I don't like all the buttfucking the whole time."

• 13:55Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 13:56Sam Morril?

  And I'm not homophobic. It's bad writing.

• 13:58Mark Normand?

  It's bad writing?

• 13:58Sam Morril?

  Maybe I'm a little homophobic, but it's bad writing. No, it's, uh, oh god.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Speaking of heated rivals.

• 14:05Mark Normand?

  There we go.

• 14:05Sam Morril?

  No, I love Brokeback. That was great.

• 14:07Mark Normand?

  Brokeback was great.

• 14:08Sam Morril?

  Wow. Why, why am I the girl here? Look at that. I'm taller than you. Why, what, you're kissing down on me. What the fuck is that?

• 14:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:17Sam Morril?

  I'm kissing you up. I may as well kick my heel out. What the hell's happening?

• 14:20Speaker 02

  I think Mark's saying, "Do you wanna kiss me?" I think he's saying that.

• 14:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy. I, my hair is straight in the back, too, or something. This is not-

• 14:26Sam Morril?

  That's what comes from doing Legion of Skanks.

• 14:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true. This is-

• 14:28Sam Morril?

  That fucking fanbase.

• 14:29Mark Normand?

  We got off easy.

• 14:30Sam Morril?

  We did.

• 14:31Mark Normand?

  Literally.

• 14:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, good times. That was a hot up, that skank. We really got, yeah, we were on, we were rolling, we were drinking. That was a great one.

• 14:42Sam Morril?

  I was watching your glass. I'm like, "You better fucking keep, I showed up drunk."

• 14:45Mark Normand?

  You showed up drunk and I had about a half left and you, you gave me a full pour.

• 14:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I was like, "Get the fuck in there." Cause I'm, I'm pounding these, cause I already had, you know, when you're already drinking, you're like, you start drinking a little quickly. You know, let's keep this fucking buzz going. And I was eyeballing Mark's, like, "You better fucking stay with me, dude."

• 15:00Mark Normand?

  I'm calling right now. This is gonna be a fun year. I can feel it. 2026, we're already in January. We're already having a great time. I mean, the Knicks are struggling, but other than that-

• 15:08Sam Morril?

  I was at that game. That was, that's why I was drunk.

• 15:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:12Sam Morril?

  What are you gonna do?

• 15:13Mark Normand?

  Santino's in town. You're at, uh, Swallows and Gurgles or whatever bar. I mean, we're-

• 15:17Sam Morril?

  Sippin' guzzle.

• 15:18Mark Normand?

  Sippin' guzzle. We're having a great time.

• 15:20Sam Morril?

  Cool little bar.

• 15:20Mark Normand?

  I never heard of it. How did I miss it?

• 15:22Sam Morril?

  Cool cocktail spot.

• 15:24Mark Normand?

  I love a cool cocktail spot.

• 15:26Sam Morril?

  Love a good cock.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Whoa, wait a minute.

• 15:28Sam Morril?

  Tail.

• 15:29Mark Normand?

  Either rivalry.

• 15:30Sam Morril?

  Love a good cock.

• 15:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, God. It just shows that like, no one's ever, okay. Well, no one's ever done a gay hockey show, so they're like, we'll do this, and then everybody loves it. It's just, it's just the new thing.

• 15:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it's also like poorly lit, and it's like,

• 15:45Mark Normand?

  It's horrible.

• 15:45Sam Morril?

  And it's like, the writing's bad, and it's like.

• 15:48Mark Normand?

  And where are the gays? They're supposed to be great with lighting and decorations.

• 15:51Sam Morril?

  I know. It was low budget. There's only so much you could do, probably. I think, I'm sure, but this was season two is probably gonna be like insane.

• 15:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, here's a question. Are the actors all gay? Or they're acting?

• 16:01Sam Morril?

  I think they're gay.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  What do you think the Rotten Tomatoes?

• 16:04Sam Morril?

  That dude's definitely gay.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  What do you think the Rotten Tomatoes score is?

• 16:07Sam Morril?

  I don't know. Pull it up.

• 16:09Mark Normand?

  I don't know. I give it, uh, two boners up.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 16:12Sam Morril?

  What?

• 16:13Speaker 02

  All right, what do you think?

• 16:14Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna say like 50%.

• 16:17Mark Normand?

  Uh, are we talking audience or, or critic?

• 16:20Speaker 02

  I'll give you both, and they're pretty close.

• 16:21Sam Morril?

  Audience, I bet, is like 92 or something.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  Nailed it.

• 16:24Sam Morril?

  On the dot?

• 16:25Mark Normand?

  On the dot.

• 16:27Sam Morril?

  I knew it'd be in the 90s.

• 16:28Mark Normand?

  You're gay.

• 16:29Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 16:30Mark Normand?

  It's a test.

• 16:30Sam Morril?

  Wait, what's the critic's score?

• 16:32Speaker 02

  98.

• 16:33Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 16:34Mark Normand?

  98.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  98, that's a perfect score almost.

• 16:36Mark Normand?

  That's insane.

• 16:37Sam Morril?

  Cause you know what, cause critics love to just be like, you know what, it's, it's self referential.

• 16:42Mark Normand?

  It's inclusive.

• 16:43Sam Morril?

  It's aware of what it is. Is it aware, or is it just a bad show they caught on? It's not good.

• 16:49Mark Normand?

  No. Especially if you're a hockey fan. It's horrible. You're like, this is zero hockey.

• 16:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Mark Normand?

  It's just them on the ice looking at each other like.

• 17:00Mark Normand?

  How long are they in timeout, you know?

• 17:03Sam Morril?

  And it's just not realistic. Like, the first and second pick, gay? Statistically, it's not even possible.

• 17:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah. We gotta make a hetero hockey called Penalty Box.

• 17:13Sam Morril?

  Hey.

• 17:14Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 17:14Sam Morril?

  It's just dudes running a train on chicks together? Like, we're not gay, we just fuck a lot of chicks together.

• 17:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah. I don't know why these women are on the ice, but fuck it.

• 17:22Sam Morril?

  Apparently, we're getting threesome, uh, opportunities, but they're fucking, yeah, threesome counter here. But they're all fucking.

• 17:29Mark Normand?

  A double teamer.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Oh, they're asking for you both?

• 17:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 17:32Sam Morril?

  They, they want the double threesome.

• 17:34Mark Normand?

  Patreon.

• 17:35Sam Morril?

  Patreon.

• 17:37Mark Normand?

  But the girl's name is Sammy, so I was like, this is gonna confuse me, cause I'm gonna be yelling your name.

• 17:41Sam Morril?

  But he's never called me Sammy, so I won't be confused.

• 17:43Mark Normand?

  No, that's true.

• 17:44Sam Morril?

  He calls me Sam.

• 17:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah. That's true.

• 17:47Sam Morril?

  But, uh, dude, that would.

• 17:49Mark Normand?

  She's not bad.

• 17:50Sam Morril?

  Was she good?

• 17:50Mark Normand?

  She's pretty. I mean, the face is very pretty.

• 17:52Sam Morril?

  All right.

• 17:55Sam Morril?

  Actually, I don't know if we should do that.

• 17:56Mark Normand?

  Don't put that up on here, but.

• 17:59Sam Morril?

  She's a knockout, though.

• 18:00Mark Normand?

  Very pretty.

• 18:01Sam Morril?

  This guy's been late in years.

• 18:03Mark Normand?

  I bet if you bring her to Analog and you go, Norman's on the way, you could probably hook up with her and I'll just not show up.

• 18:08Sam Morril?

  That's a, that's a great move. But that's not, but that's not the threesome.

• 18:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but you can blame it on me. He didn't show up. The guy's a fucking flake, piece of shit.

• 18:16Sam Morril?

  What a piece of shit.

• 18:17Mark Normand?

  I'm at home watching Heat of Rivalry alone.

• 18:19Sam Morril?

  He's not here. I mean, men don't show up. Maybe we need a woman.

• 18:22Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 18:23Sam Morril?

  And then we peek around.

• 18:24Mark Normand?

  Ooh, call, uh, what's her face, uh, the other lady who was bartending. Hannah? Heidi?

• 18:31Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  Mandy?

• 18:33Mark Normand?

  Maddie!

• 18:34Sam Morril?

  Not even close.

• 18:34Mark Normand?

  Not even close. Well, she'll never come back.

• 18:36Sam Morril?

  Nicolas Cage movie.

• 18:38Mark Normand?

  Maddie?

• 18:38Sam Morril?

  Mandy.

• 18:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, Mandy.

• 18:40Sam Morril?

  It's a fucking mess.

• 18:41Mark Normand?

  You gay, man, you so.

• 18:42Sam Morril?

  It's weird to think of a revenge movie.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I remember this. Yeah, yeah.

• 18:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, I don't remember Mandy. Nicolas Cage, he was in deep debt and he had to make a lot of shit to, uh, to make that money back.

• 18:54Sam Morril?

  I think he's been married like five times.

• 18:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 18:56Sam Morril?

  You gotta not do, don't you have an accountant who's like, what do you?

• 19:00Mark Normand?

  Just be with them. Why do you have to sign papers?

• 19:02Sam Morril?

  But you know what? I bet really artistic dudes like that are like, no, man, I gotta go all in on everything.

• 19:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 19:08Sam Morril?

  And they just fuck their life up.

• 19:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's living.

• 19:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you could live, you could live with a lawyer.

• 19:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and a not, not a wife.

• 19:16Sam Morril?

  Same with dudes who just raw dog everyone. They're just like, I'll just have a bunch of kids. And you're like, those are usually creative types.

• 19:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 19:22Sam Morril?

  Nothing's holding them down. You know, nothing's like stifling them.

• 19:25Mark Normand?

  Right. That's true. Yeah, they just, they have Nick Cannon. These guys are just, uh.

• 19:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, one of the greats for sure. Great writer, great thinker.

• 19:33Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 19:34Sam Morril?

  Art Denzel, for sure.

• 19:36Mark Normand?

  Great comic. He did it all.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Good coxman. I mean, he's got 11 kids.

• 19:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, the ladies love him.

• 19:41Sam Morril?

  13, I think.

• 19:42Mark Normand?

  13 kids?

• 19:43Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 19:44Sam Morril?

  Is, are you a coxman? I feel like a coxman is strictly a person who like pulls it off without all the baggage.

• 19:49Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 19:50Sam Morril?

  I'm not calling a guy who nuts that much with the consequence.

• 19:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 19:55Sam Morril?

  Especially with that many different mothers. That's work. That's.

• 19:57Mark Normand?

  That's child abuse is what it is.

• 19:59Sam Morril?

  It kind of is.

• 20:00Mark Normand?

  Completely. He's not hanging out with all these kids and getting to know them.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  12 children.

• 20:05Mark Normand?

  I'm sure he's paying for them.

• 20:06Sam Morril?

  12 kids, alright.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Six moms.

• 20:07Mark Normand?

  12 kids. Wow, a dozen. That's crazy.

• 20:11Sam Morril?

  Zion, Zillen.

• 20:13Mark Normand?

  Is that more than Musk?

• 20:14Sam Morril?

  Musk is 13, I think.

• 20:15Mark Normand?

  Wow, these African Americans are out of control. But yeah, Musk is, uh, he's trying to populate the planet, I think.

• 20:23Sam Morril?

  Well, that's where the rich and the poor intersect, is they will nut at anything.

• 20:26Mark Normand?

  Here, here. So true.

• 20:28Sam Morril?

  But I think rich people are like, well, there's no consequence. I'll just keep nutting and stuff. And poor people are like, well, it feels good. I deserve something that feels good.

• 20:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. And rich people are like, I can take care of these people. I got all the money in the world.

• 20:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:39Mark Normand?

  So.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  You came in hot, oh, sorry. You came in hot talking about peeves.

• 20:43Sam Morril?

  I got some peeves.

• 20:45Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 20:46Sam Morril?

  I figured I'd save some for our guests, but uh...

• 20:48Mark Normand?

  When's Zeke showing up?

• 20:49Speaker 02

  He said he's 10 minutes late, so any minute.

• 20:51Mark Normand?

  Okay, got it.

• 20:52Sam Morril?

  Is he here?

• 20:53Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 20:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's, sorry, you don't have to get up, but, uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say. Damn, I'm bummed I missed that bar hang.

• 21:00Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, it was fucking crazy.

• 21:02Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 21:03Sam Morril?

  Lot of rando, a lot of bar creatures too. I like a bar hang that turns into a whole thing where everyone starts chiming in.

• 21:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:09Sam Morril?

  We met some people. We met the chef from that hot new restaurant, The 86. He was there.

• 21:12Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 21:13Sam Morril?

  Have you heard of that restaurant?

• 21:13Mark Normand?

  I've heard of it, yeah.

• 21:14Sam Morril?

  I've heard of it too. It's supposed to be very hard to get into.

• 21:17Mark Normand?

  I believe we got a...

• 21:17Sam Morril?

  He sent Santino and I two shots.

• 21:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 21:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 21:21Mark Normand?

  Wow. Well, Santino is like, we're no slouches, but he's a very recognizable figure.

• 21:26Sam Morril?

  For sure.

• 21:26Mark Normand?

  The fiery red hair. He's on one of the biggest podcasts.

• 21:29Sam Morril?

  Dave?

• 21:30Mark Normand?

  Dave, uh, that other show. He was on Curb.

• 21:34Sam Morril?

  He was good on Curb.

• 21:35Mark Normand?

  Great on Curb, Dave.

• 21:36Sam Morril?

  Great actor too, I mean.

• 21:37Mark Normand?

  Look at that.

• 21:37Sam Morril?

  Really, uh, looks cool, right? Looks like, kinda looks like Musso and Frank's a little bit.

• 21:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:42Sam Morril?

  Remember Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, that scene?

• 21:44Mark Normand?

  Yes, very 30s, very deco.

• 21:47Sam Morril?

  I like a throwback.

• 21:48Mark Normand?

  I love a throwback.

• 21:49Sam Morril?

  I like when you feel a little transported and then you walk outside the bar and the fucking wind hits you in the face.

• 21:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:54Sam Morril?

  And you're like, oh, it's fucking cold.

• 21:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, look at that. And you went to a diner today alone.

• 21:58Sam Morril?

  I did. I love a diner alone. I think that's a rec. Go to a diner, especially hungover, you just pound coffee, eggs.

• 22:05Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 22:05Sam Morril?

  This is how you beat it. And yeah, shout out to Selco, one of the best diners.

• 22:09Mark Normand?

  Great, great.

• 22:10Sam Morril?

  Ukrainian diner.

• 22:11Mark Normand?

  Especially if you can get a booth, alone, coffee, you get some people watching.

• 22:15Sam Morril?

  It was great.

• 22:16Mark Normand?

  Nothing better.

• 22:17Sam Morril?

  Dead. I love a dead diner.

• 22:18Mark Normand?

  Love a dead diner.

• 22:19Sam Morril?

  You feel bad because you're like, this can't be good.

• 22:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:22Sam Morril?

  For the business, but you're like, this is how you, no one wants a packed diner.

• 22:25Mark Normand?

  No.

• 22:26Sam Morril?

  It's not where you go. You go for the, you go for the isolation.

• 22:29Mark Normand?

  Well, we fought, we're big diner queefs and we follow this diner guy and he's like, I'm at this one in Park Slope. I'm at this one in Lower East Side and we try to go to as many as we can, but they're dying. They're like Native Americans. There's like four left.

• 22:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's tough, man.

• 22:41Mark Normand?

  It's tough. They're like Blockbuster. They used to be everywhere. Remember how many diners were in New York?

• 22:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and then what sucks is the ones that survive have to just jack up the prices. And you're like, did I just spend $23 on an omelet?

• 22:53Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 22:54Sam Morril?

  This is ridiculous. It takes the charm away of the diner.

• 22:56Mark Normand?

  Completely. It's supposed to be, you know, blue collar, cheap shit. They got coffee supposed to be like 65 cents. Now it's like $4.

• 23:04Sam Morril?

  65 cents.

• 23:05Mark Normand?

  You know, I've been watching Mad Men.

• 23:09Mark Normand?

  We used to go to a diner, you walk out of there, two meals and it was like $18.

• 23:13Sam Morril?

  You look at a diner, you're like, this grilled cheese is supposed to be $135.

• 23:17Mark Normand?

  Come here, Toots, put some black in here. But yeah, yeah, it's all changed. The diners are out of control.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  I love movies from the 70s where they'll eat a grilled cheese and a black coffee and then just leave change on the counter and walk out.

• 23:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:29Sam Morril?

  Just change.

• 23:29Mark Normand?

  Crazy. It's fun to watch the, the menu in an old movie too. You know, you're like, wow, ham and eggs for like 88 cents.

• 23:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's cool when you see like the menu hasn't really changed and it's like, you know, uh, just like fucking burger, fries. We eat all the same shit.

• 23:45Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. Apparently, they say the food's gotten worse chemically, you know, process wise, but yeah.

• 23:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well now they're making, they were making crazy shit. You know, we were doing Negronis and shit last night, but then he'd be like, this is like a wagyu. Old fashioned, like whatever.

• 24:00Mark Normand?

  Jesus Christ.

• 24:01Sam Morril?

  We're just fucking hammered.

• 24:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:03Sam Morril?

  Just trying whatever.

• 24:04Mark Normand?

  Sometimes I annoy those guys because I'm like, can I just get like a tequila soda? Because I don't want all the sugar. I don't want all the syrup a lot of times and they hate that.

• 24:11Sam Morril?

  Chock full of syrup.

• 24:12Mark Normand?

  That's what, that's the hangover.

• 24:13Sam Morril?

  How's our guest coming? Oh, all right.

• 24:16Mark Normand?

  Something feels off. What are you guys doing? A little secret thing? Is he a backpack over there? Is he doing some kind of prank bullshit?

• 24:23Sam Morril?

  Is there, is there breakaway bottles in there?

• 24:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:25Sam Morril?

  We were doing that for a while. That was kind of fun.

• 24:27Mark Normand?

  That was fun.

• 24:30Mark Normand?

  Wait, wait, wait. Give me a menu price here. Is this in New York?

• 24:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 24:36Sam Morril?

  Pork roll. That's gotta be like Jersey, right? Yeah. That's Jersey.

• 24:41Mark Normand?

  Fresh ham sirloin steak. Hey! There he is!

• 24:45Sam Morril?

  Oh, I like that Sonic sound, dude.

• 24:47Mark Normand?

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• 25:28Mark Normand?

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• 26:08Mark Normand?

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• 26:42Sam Morril?

  Wait, I don't know why you're outside all hard.

• 26:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:45Sam Morril?

  You gotta get inside.

• 26:46Mark Normand?

  If you're gonna be outside, you wanna be hard.

• 26:48Sam Morril?

  It's fucking cold.

• 26:49Mark Normand?

  It's freezing. You want an icicle, baby, not a... cold noodle. To get simple online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit hims.com/Drunk. That's hims.com/Drunk for your free online visit. Hems.com/Drunk. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness. A quality prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan.

• 27:23Sam Morril?

  Most people have no idea how many subscriptions they're paying for every month until they actually look. Old streaming services, dating apps, maybe you're married now, I mean, what are you doing? Forgotten trials, random charges that keep hitting your account. Rocket Money helps you take control of that. It's a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. This is like a great idea.

• 27:47Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 27:47Sam Morril?

  It's amazing, because we're all doing this. Rocket Money tracks your subscriptions in one place and lets you cancel the ones you don't need with a few taps. I was paying for PlayStation 4 until like, a week ago.

• 27:59Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 28:00Sam Morril?

  I'm like, I haven't played video games in years. And it was like, it's like 10 bucks a month.

• 28:03Mark Normand?

  I was still with Maxim Magazine. It hasn't been around for years.

• 28:06Sam Morril?

  I was an FHM man. It also categorizes your transactions across your accounts, helps you build budgets and goals, and sends alerts for large purchases, upcoming bills, or low balances. Everything lives in one clean dashboard so you can actually see where your money's going. It's one of those apps that makes you wonder why you didn't start using it sooner. I mean, this is a no-brainer. You're trying to save money. We're all wasting money. How many things are like, oh, I'm doing a free trial for a day to watch that one game on the road, and then you forgot, and now you're fucking, you're paying for Fubo. Like, what are we doing here? We all do this. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/Drunk. That's rocketmoney.com/Drunk. Rocketmoney.com/Drunk.

• 28:47Mark Normand?

  Yee-haw. Shopify, starting something new.

• 28:51Mark Normand?

  is exciting, but it's also terrifying. Everyone has those what if thoughts before launching a business. What if nobody buys anything? What if I fail? What if I don't know what I'm doing? That's why Shopify is here. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world, from first time sellers to massive household names. It gives you everything you need to build, run and grow a business all in one place. You can design a beautiful store using ready to use templates, speed things up with AI tools that help write product descriptions and headlines and run email and social campaigns to reach customers wherever they are. Shopify also helps with inventory, payments, shipping and analytics, so you're not juggling a dozen tools at once. We don't know what they were doing. Thank God for Shopify. They make it easy.

• 29:35Mark Normand?

  They make it smooth and clean. They're helpful. We saw a lot of good stuff around here, so we love them. We use them and you should too. Start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing cha-ching. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/Drunk. Go to Shopify.com/Drunk. That's Shopify.com/Drunk. Cha-ching.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  What's up, dude?

• 30:03Mark Normand?

  Congrats on that Seahawks win.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  Bro, all right, let me get right into it.

• 30:06Sam Morril?

  Is this coming out? This has to come out this weekend now, then.

• 30:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, all right.

• 30:10Speaker 04

  Fuck, all right. Should we take it again?

• 30:12Sam Morril?

  It's coming out this weekend.

• 30:14Sam Morril?

  Let's just, yeah, just do this then. Yeah, let's talk Seahawks.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  OK, great. Very fired up.

• 30:20Sam Morril?

  Darnold, man.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Darnold, we haven't been to the Super Bowl in 13 years. Let me ask a friend and comedian's perspective on something. So, you know, first theater tour, I'm on it right now.

• 30:30Mark Normand?

  Hey, Basel.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  You guys have both been the Who Is Me Theater Tour, adamraycomedy.com for tickets or Xvideos or jamba juice.com if you just want to get excited for something.

• 30:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:40Speaker 04

  But it, yeah, I was doing the more and Sam texted me was like, favorite venue.

• 30:44Mark Normand?

  What a great.

• 30:45Sam Morril?

  It might be my favorite, yeah.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  It was, bro, very sweet text, first of all, and.

• 30:49Sam Morril?

  I just say a post about it, like, oh, I'm like.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  Because usually he just texts me, you think you're better than me? And what's that?

• 30:54Sam Morril?

  No, you're Seattle kid, so it's like, it's iconic.

• 30:57Speaker 04

  It was, and Pearl Jam, I think, did a, well, some music video there back in the day.

• 31:02Mark Normand?

  Even Flow, he climbs the rafters.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, if you just put your ear up to the walls, you can hear Eddie Vedder being like, you know, this is where a titty fucked, um, a. And so, um, but that's all you hear. It trails off. It trails off, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:17Mark Normand?

  He came.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was the acoustics, you made a big point to say were like, I mean, three levels, but everybody's right up on top of you. That's my favorite. And it, uh, it just, I don't know, you want a theater, I just, you know, we did the Wilbur this past weekend, and then we're like in Maine, Rhode Island, and New Haven, jealous, and, uh, Best pizza in the country is in New Haven. Best pizza in New Haven.

• 31:38Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  But even like, this theater in Rhode Island was like a hundred years old, and, uh, I just like a fucking old historic venue. Like, I don't know, it's cool to feel like, you know, that it's not some, you know, obviously, brand new venues rule, but like, the Beacon, for example, just feels like every show has, from Seinfeld to Bet to fucking Two Girls, One Cup, everything's been through there.

• 31:59Mark Normand?

  And they always get the grip, the grip guy, like, you know, Chaplin played here.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 32:02Mark Normand?

  You're like, whoa.

• 32:02Speaker 04

  Bro, the sound and the light skies are like, I've seen everything from fucking, you know, Vertical Horizon to fucking Will and Nelson, man, and they both, they both love to fucking party, you know?

• 32:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:12Speaker 04

  Pudini levitated off the stage that you did, uh, Queef jokes, that was a good start. Yeah, pretty much the same show. Um, but the, uh, but what was I gonna say? Oh, so I'm doing, you know, Town Hall this weekend, first time, and, uh, Town Hall's epic.

• 32:26Mark Normand?

  Great room.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  That's awesome. And, uh, That's another where they're on top of you, you know? Okay, great. And all these are, are pretty close to being clean, uh,

• 32:33Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  Troy is the, uh, yeah, they've all been, there's maybe been two so far that have been, like, Wilbur Late Show was maybe a thousand out of eleven hundred we got.

• 32:41Mark Normand?

  All right, all right.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  So a hundred, you know, you give or take.

• 32:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  But this Troy, uh, Savings Hall, Troy Banks, Albany's, yeah, the, the,

• 32:48Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, that, um, I was gonna cancel because the NFC Championship game is Sunday now, and I've gotten to know the GM, the really well, John Schneider, is like a, I have a list of people now that I hit up when I go home, where it's like, my two best friends from, from elementary school, uh, my mom, obviously, uh, and, uh, and now John Schneider, the Seahawks GM.

• 33:08Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  He had me roast the Seahawks last year, so I had to know Mike McDonald, the coach, really well.

• 33:12Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  I got him to do this video when I went on McAfee to like, come in, it was, uh, I did a first pitch for the Mariners and, and like, pretended to, pretended to come up shore. With my pitch and then I called to the pen and Mike came out to throw his first pitch. And so everybody was like, please welcome to see how his coach, Mike, he's a cool ass guy. He's like, yeah, you're my tie to the comedy world and. And doing all these goofy bits is like, cause he's kind of a pretty even keeled nerdy place. Catan, is that the game? It's like a strategy game.

• 33:37Mark Normand?

  Chris Catan?

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Chris Catan, yeah.

• 33:39Sam Morril?

  A lot of drugs in that game.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, you get a lot of pills from him. And so, uh, no, shout out. We love you, Chris. And, uh, but, but, uh.

• 33:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, mango.

• 33:45Speaker 04

  But so, so I have all these ties now to the, and then Sammy for since he got drafted. Catan, yeah. So I was like, I gotta go back to the game. Cause you know, I had to sit in their suites and go to the field and like. Party with them after when they win and, but I, uh, I got this like, I think it was a sign from God, man. I get this Facebook message. I try to check all my shit and, and doses and. And I get this message, you know, obviously we all know how like impactful comedy is now and like, sometimes you, you see it more, um. Uh, some days and others as far as like a message or a meet and greet. Somebody's like, you know, my wife just had her fucking eighteenth abortion and this is her first time out in two years. You know, you. And it really, it means a lot. And it's like, man.

• 34:26Mark Normand?

  She's been going out a lot.

• 34:29Speaker 04

  And so, and so, uh, it got this message and it was just this guy like fucking tugging at my heartstrings. And I was like, I can't fucking like, uh. So my whole thing was I was gonna cancel after, uh, we won on Saturday against the Niners. We had the game on the big screen during the meet and greet on stage. And so I'm just fucking taking shots with people and going nuts. And I'm like, I mean, we won forty-one to six. It was awesome.

• 34:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:50Speaker 04

  And everybody was like, oh, congrats.

• 34:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  It's a fucking playoff. Totally. And so now we're playing the Rams, obviously, but, but everybody around me.

• 34:57Sam Morril?

  People I think of are you and Soder. Cause it's Seahawks, 49ers.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:01Sam Morril?

  Oh, fuck. I'm like, one, one of my friends is gonna be really fucking sad.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know, dude. That's sports though. But so I, uh, so I'm like, I'm definitely canceling Albany. Cause I'm like, it's fucking Albany. I'm canceling. How many times you get to go to the game and have this many connects? And then this kid's message, dude, like, I believe it was like, I go, it's a sign from God. I can't fucking.

• 35:19Sam Morril?

  Are you with the egg?

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Uh, it's Troy's savings.

• 35:21Mark Normand?

  Savings bank?

• 35:22Speaker 04

  Savings bank.

• 35:23Mark Normand?

  It's bigger than the egg.

• 35:24Sam Morril?

  Oh, nice. The egg is cool.

• 35:25Mark Normand?

  Egg's awesome.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  Really?

• 35:27Mark Normand?

  But it's like a thousand.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  But also, and so then I'm gonna drive back from Albany the next day to fly out. Yeah. I don't know. But so I guess what I'm asking is like, obviously canceling week of is like shitty. Like, I don't care how you slice it.

• 35:39Sam Morril?

  Well, you also, you're talking about on a podcast, you'd have to just be like, something happened.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  No, no, I was fully, I was fully going to be like, I'm going to the game.

• 35:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 35:47Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  Dad? I was gonna, uh. But I, but I just was like, that's such a, like, this is, we get to do so much cool shit. This is so many shows, which, again, you just don't think about it, and I guess I'm trying to shed a light on it.

• 35:59Sam Morril?

  Dude, I did this during the Knicks playoffs, because it's like, you know, it's such, it's so rare that we're in the mix.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:04Sam Morril?

  And, uh, I'd use an alias, The Cellar, and Esti'd be like, "Why do you always use an alias?" And I'd be like, "'Cause you get mad when I cancel and I use my name."

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 36:10Sam Morril?

  And the fucking Knicks, he's like, "Oh, I, I get it." Wow, that's nice. She was like, she totally got it, yeah.

• 36:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but so cool. Did you ever think you'd be doing a theater tour, and then you go, "Hey, let me cancel that theater, I wanna go to a game."

• 36:20Speaker 04

  Because I could go sit in the owner's suite or whatever, yeah.

• 36:22Mark Normand?

  I mean, what a life you're living.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  Totally, yeah, and so, but then, that's why you just gotta go, but if we go to the Super Bowl then, and this is what, um, my sweet wife was breaking down, she's like, "Fuck, and you can't bail," she's like, "If we, you win," it's like, "We'll go to the, you know, I got some, some options there," and then that's, and then also, it's like, yeah, you fly, I'd have to take a 7 a.m. flight back Sunday.

• 36:40Sam Morril?

  Would you go to the Super Bowl?

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 36:42Sam Morril?

  So, and you obviously, and you don't have a gig on the Super Bowl, no one, no comment.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  I made the mothership to Friday and Saturday, but I purposely canceled Sunday.

• 36:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  To also just watch the game, because I was like, "I don't wanna be on stage during the Super Bowl," like.

• 36:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  Um, but I was just playing and watching it. You also don't know how good your team's gonna be, so this, these gigs were booked, you know, in, in, you know, 10 years ago, so.

• 37:01Mark Normand?

  That's so cool, you got the local sports team from your city.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  It's honestly the cool, I mean, I don't know how you guys are with like, athletes or musicians, I think we're probably.

• 37:08Mark Normand?

  He's all over the athletes.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, bro, I know, I know, Sam's like, I gotta.

• 37:11Sam Morril?

  Great show.

• 37:12Speaker 04

  Wait, who?

• 37:13Sam Morril?

  No.

• 37:14Speaker 04

  Wait, who?

• 37:15Sam Morril?

  He did rivalry.

• 37:15Mark Normand?

  To get a hockey team.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Hilarious, yeah, yeah.

• 37:17Sam Morril?

  Um, no, yeah, I'm.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  I remember the first time we met at the Comedy Store hallway, right in the original room, and we just started geeking out, and you were like, "Yeah, I've got a signed to Maurice Stoudamire headband," you know.

• 37:27Sam Morril?

  Ah, do I really?

• 37:32Speaker 04

  Wait, that sounds like something I would say, that laugh.

• 37:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, no, you did, but we were geeking out NBA-wise, and I was like, dude. That's why I've met a lot of comics who's just talking hoops.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  But, totally, and you were like, you were like, "You're from Seattle, right?" And I was like, "Yeah," and you're like, "Shaun Kim, Gary Payton," and I was like, dude, and then I go, and then I go, and then I go, "Dude, John Starks, Ron Harper," and you go, "This guy knows his bit."

• 37:49Mark Normand?

  Derek Harper.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  Derek Harper, oh, fuck, what'd I say?

• 37:51Mark Normand?

  Ron Harper.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Ron Harper, alright.

• 37:53Mark Normand?

  He's doing it full, Frank Stallone.

• 37:55Sam Morril?

  I still play D like Ron Harper, I hand check, I'm dirty as fuck, dude.

• 37:58Speaker 04

  Ron Harper was, dude, yeah, he just pretty much was trying to, just, just, yeah, get a little feel.

• 38:02Mark Normand?

  You guys let you have good tea, the Pelicans call me, I don't answer. You wanna come in the box?

• 38:06Sam Morril?

  Well, you've adopted the Knicks.

• 38:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, the Knicks are all the way.

• 38:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I don't, I don't get starstruck often, but I was, the first time I met Jalen Brunson, I was a bit of a bitch.

• 38:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:16Sam Morril?

  I was a little bit like, oh, fuck. I was like, thank you so much for coming here. And Liz from the Cellars with me, and she was like, oh, fuck. She had to like jump in and be like, no, he's like a really funny comedian. I was like, oh, okay.

• 38:26Mark Normand?

  And I was not. The pod.

• 38:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I did, I was very bad on their podcast.

• 38:29Speaker 04

  The, um.

• 38:30Sam Morril?

  They were on a three-game losing streak. They were not in the mood to pod. And I'm just telling like bomb stories, and they're not going, they're like, so you're just, so you're just not good? I'm like, no, it's like, it's, it's funny. It went badly. They get, they're like, so you just bomb all the, no, it's self-deprecating.

• 38:44Mark Normand?

  Funny story.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  Well, it is tough. It's, what do you think, uh, guys get more nervous about? Like making a?

• 38:49Sam Morril?

  That's a cool shot, actually. Holy shit.

• 38:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 38:51Sam Morril?

  Like a. Stephano's friend, Tommy the cop, is about to break his fucking hand.

• 38:55Mark Normand?

  He's really getting on that.

• 38:56Sam Morril?

  Don't high five that guy. Bench is like 400 pounds.

• 38:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Like a pickup line to a, a girl, like, oh, or, um, an icebreaker to an athlete for a guy. What's more nerve-wracking, you know?

• 39:05Sam Morril?

  Cause you're like, you're like, I went up to a girl and I told her if she needed help in the bathroom, I'd help her wipe. And I thought that'd be funny, you know?

• 39:11Speaker 04

  But then I went up to fucking, you know, uh, you know, uh, Carl Anthony Towns, and I told him like, you know, how's the weather up there? You know, and he fucking, you know, like, but you're, or like, you know, I have your trading card, like what, like what's your opener to these guys when you meet them?

• 39:24Sam Morril?

  Dude, I mean, yeah, I didn't have one. I sucked. I mean, it was bad.

• 39:28Speaker 04

  And you end up just panicking, and you're like, dude, how basketball fucking rules, right?

• 39:32Mark Normand?

  Well, I blew it with that guy in the lounge. What was that guy? That, that famous legendary basketball player? And I was like, hey, I'm Mark.

• 39:39Sam Morril?

  Kyle Rittenhouse.

• 39:40Mark Normand?

  You remember that? We were at the, we were standing at the bar waiting to get a drink, and some guy walked up, and I made a joke, and you were like, oh, and I was like, hey, what's up?

• 39:47Sam Morril?

  Marbury.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  Whoa, cool.

• 39:49Mark Normand?

  I didn't know who it was.

• 39:49Sam Morril?

  He's always there.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  Well, Mark's like, Mark goes, Mark, and he goes, Stephon. I was just, I just shook my head. I'm like.

• 39:55Sam Morril?

  Urquell?

• 39:56Speaker 04

  We're at the Garden.

• 39:58Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, of course. There's a, uh, if you can find this picture.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  It was pretty funny.

• 40:01Sam Morril?

  I gotta sit courtside at the Knicks game.

• 40:03Mark Normand?

  I thought it was Seal.

• 40:04Speaker 04

  Holy shit dude, we'll be right back. He does. He got kissed by something. Yeah, the courtside thing I got to do once, and I think the picture is online. And I went and I was wearing a Sonics jersey, because they were playing, I think, OKC. So my buddy and I, we sat down there to kind of taunt OKC.

• 40:22Sam Morril?

  This is like the Elaine Syfod episode where she wears the Orioles hat.

• 40:25Speaker 04

  Totally. And I think if it was me, here, actually, no, it was, so I go into the little private area, and there was, you know how they give out bracelets, like, in the bucket sometimes, in that little courtside? So they give me, John McEnroe was there, and I grabbed a bracelet, and he was right there, and I go, I go, "Hey, John," I go, "they told me that you wanted to be bracelet buddies," and he goes, "Who told you that?" I go, "I go, "No, but I just wanted to talk to you," and he goes, "John," I go, "Adam," I go, "You're great on Curb," and he goes, "Oh, thanks," and we just bullshit from it.

• 40:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's good.

• 40:51Speaker 04

  So we go down, Spike Lee's there, Rami Malek was there, and he was about, Bohemian Rhapsody had just come out. So he's like, and, and so there's a picture, if you type in Adam Ray, Spike Lee, Rami Malek, maybe courtside, some guy got a picture of him, my Asian friend Dale Ten, who we call Bruce Lee, and then Rami and Spike Lee, and it looks, there it is to your far left.

• 41:13Mark Normand?

  What a crew.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  So this is...

• 41:16Mark Normand?

  This is a Mad Libs.

• 41:16Speaker 04

  Like, so, it looks like we're all best friends. By the way, we didn't talk the whole game.

• 41:20Sam Morril?

  Are you wearing a KD Sonics jersey?

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude.

• 41:23Sam Morril?

  I love that.

• 41:23Mark Normand?

  Good catch.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  And so, Rami is, I mean, by the way, God bless him, but like, the most like, like, like, I was like, "I'm at, I'm doing a..." He's like, "So what do you do?" And I go, "Oh, I'm a comedian," he goes, "Oh, you do shows and stuff?" This is, by the way, a very heightened version of how he actually was. He was pretty chill. But he was a little, you know, uncomfy, maybe it was courtside, or everyone was looking at him, and, and I go, "I make, actually, Gotham this weekend, if you want to come," and he was like, "Can I bring my girlfriend?" And I was like, "Dude, you can bring your girlfriend's girlfriend. You can hide your kids, hide your wives, bring whoever you want."

• 41:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  And, that's a fun picture.

• 41:53Mark Normand?

  Holy moly, who's the fat bitch?

• 41:56Sam Morril?

  That's Kendall Gill, dude.

• 41:58Mark Normand?

  No, who's the lady?

• 41:59Sam Morril?

  It's him.

• 41:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, my God, I thought that was Hannah Gadsby.

• 42:03Speaker 04

  Welcome back to Hide Your Boner.

• 42:05Sam Morril?

  That handhold is crazy.

• 42:07Mark Normand?

  What is that handhold?

• 42:07Speaker 04

  That is me when I was playing Sharon, Sharon from Poughkeepsie in the Lifetime original movie, Suck My Cunt.

• 42:14Mark Normand?

  I thought that was Rosie O'Donnell.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  Pretty close.

• 42:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, my, what is that handhold, though? I mean, that's so elegant and dainty.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  Bro, I was with my mom, by the way, the boobs, yeah.

• 42:22Sam Morril?

  Did you go to dance with you on Downton Abbey?

• 42:26Speaker 04

  Shout out to my mom, she takes me down there, we're sitting, we're sitting up in the 300s, but she goes, "Let's go down and you can go down and get close to watch them warm up." And I go, "Mr. Gill, Mr. Gill," you know, and I was like, "Mr. Gill."

• 42:36Sam Morril?

  You were a young black child.

• 42:38Speaker 04

  Squeeze them together, and he was like, "Who's the hook?" And he's like, "Who's the hot MILF?"

• 42:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  And I mean, even my haircut, dude, like, and my lips are all shiny and big.

• 42:45Mark Normand?

  It's full Delta Burke.

• 42:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:47Mark Normand?

  This is crazy.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  And so, by the, that pullover, by the way, like, what am I doing? And so, I think I have nine shirts. When you're that fat, you're wearing so many shirts just so your tits don't ooze out.

• 42:56Mark Normand?

  I mean, you're, you're really layered and chunky.

• 42:58Speaker 04

  I don't know if I put my hand out like that, or he went like this, and then I slid my hand in there. Like, was he doing that? And I was like, "You got it," you know?

• 43:07Sam Morril?

  If he reached in, he better be on some lists, because, no, he was a hell of a player, dude.

• 43:11Speaker 04

  I posted this picture, sadly, it's gotten more engagement on my IG than anything I've ever done.

• 43:15Mark Normand?

  It's amazing.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  But I tagged him in it once, and he commented below, "Oh, shit."

• 43:21Mark Normand?

  Did he say, "May I have this dance?"

• 43:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:23Mark Normand?

  When he grabbed your hand?

• 43:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, he took me to the prom that night.

• 43:25Sam Morril?

  Those warmups were fucking tight, dude.

• 43:26Speaker 04

  They were, yeah. But, so that, the course, I think, we hadn't really talked a lot, so I invited him to the show, I got his email. We corresponded.

• 43:33Sam Morril?

  Kendall Gill?

• 43:34Speaker 04

  No, Rami Malek.

• 43:34Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  By the way, how many people are confusing Kendall Gill and Rami Malek right now? But so, and Spike, something had happened, and Dale and I, Dale, my buddy Dale to the right is like, I mean, bro, if he was in here right now, he'd just be laughing hyster- he's like the best friend, non-comic. Yes, man. You know, like, everything, he didn't see material, dude, he just thinks you're the funniest person ever.

• 43:53Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 43:54Speaker 04

  And I've known him forever. And so, uh...

• 43:56Mark Normand?

  He must love your act.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. So, so I did a Dikembe finger wave, and then I said something, I can't remember what I said, but in a Dikembe voice. And like, Spike laughed, and then Rami was just like, "Meh," like, didn't know what to do, but like, the guy got a shot of like, our one exchange. So I posted it being like, "We're all best friends, we're going to Cabo next year," you know, like...

• 44:15Mark Normand?

  That's great, what a great snap.

• 44:16Speaker 04

  What a great shot, right?

• 44:17Mark Normand?

  And I like that you represent with the hat, Sam's got his retard jersey on.

• 44:20Sam Morril?

  You know what this actually is? This is the Roommates Podcast, Jalen and Josh's pod.

• 44:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow, you're both representing the NBA.

• 44:28Sam Morril?

  And I was like, "Oh, shit."

• 44:29Mark Normand?

  That's awesome.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Can we hear your Dikembe in 2026? What does it sound like?

• 44:33Speaker 04

  My Dikembe in 2026?

• 44:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:34Speaker 04

  Well, he's passed.

• 44:35Sam Morril?

  Away, right?

• 44:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:36Mark Normand?

  Did he?

• 44:36Sam Morril?

  Dude, pull up, pull up my Dikembe Mutombo message to Sam Moro. He, I paid for a cameo, I paid a cameo for a cameo. Well, let me do, I'll do what I think he said. I mean, I met him once at the NBA Awards and I was like, Dikembe dude. I go, uh, I go, man, I, I still, I'm a big songs fan. I haven't forgiven you, but like, you're a legend. He's like, uh, yeah.

• 44:54Mark Normand?

  Well, can you do the message in his voice? Cause I've never heard him talk, I don't think.

• 44:59Sam Morril?

  No, it's, it was like, it's a cameo from him? Yeah, just like, look up.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  He's got a little Cookie Monster going on.

• 45:04Sam Morril?

  Cameo? A little Cookie Monster, that's, this is fucking, he's so good at this.

• 45:07Mark Normand?

  He knows impressions.

• 45:08Speaker 04

  He was in Coming to America?

• 45:09Mark Normand?

  Two.

• 45:10Speaker 04

  No, he wasn't.

• 45:11Mark Normand?

  Slow down.

• 45:12Sam Morril?

  No, it's a cameo, dude.

• 45:13Speaker 04

  The second one, yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  Dikembe, and I typed in your name, it didn't come up.

• 45:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, maybe it's not there.

• 45:18Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 45:19Speaker 04

  You guys ever bought cameos for, uh?

• 45:21Mark Normand?

  He got me a Sugar Ray.

• 45:23Sam Morril?

  Cool.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  Mark McGrath?

• 45:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:24Sam Morril?

  Cool. I thought it'd just be fun to be like a random band. I'm like, hey, boy, he's like, uh, Mark, we hear you're our biggest fan.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Thousand percent.

• 45:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Well, he, he killed it. He was really funny.

• 45:32Mark Normand?

  He did great. He sang a song or something.

• 45:35Mark Normand?

  Okay, Dikembe, he can't find it.

• 45:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's probably not even like, good.

• 45:39Mark Normand?

  That'd be great if Google just went like this.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  To the guy that does the work, Cookie Monster.

• 45:45Sam Morril?

  Call.

• 45:48Mark Normand?

  You called it.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  Let's go.

• 45:51Sam Morril?

  I got his autograph when I was a kid, cause I used to wait outside the Garden for them to come out. And he was in Nick for a minute and I had a blue jersey on, well, like a warm up, whatever. And he just, I, I was like, Mr. Mutombo, and he, uh, I was probably like, too old to be asking for an autograph. But he'd just take out a blue Sharpie and rode in it and it just didn't even come out.

• 46:09Mark Normand?

  Uh, that counts.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  I once followed, uh.

• 46:12Sam Morril?

  No, it's not that, dude. It's like, I don't know.

• 46:14Speaker 04

  I love that you did that though, waiting outside the, that's a very like, yeah, you do get to a point as an adult where you're like, I should probably slow it down with the autographs. But as a kid, I think it's all fair game. My mom took me to a Mariners game. They were playing the Boston Red Sox. It's when they had, you know, Mo Vaughn, Wade Boggs, and these guys. And the Red Sox are historically known for boozing in the clubhouse and just like, even though I think.

• 46:34Sam Morril?

  It's like the legend for it.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Oh, totally. Especially in the early nineties. Um, but even when they won the World Series, it sounds like they were all getting fucked up. And then obviously, you know, your Yanks, you know, David Wells and Doc Gooden, obviously. So they're all probably still, you know, doing fentanyl cupcakes, bumps and shit.

• 46:48Sam Morril?

  Wells was hungover for the perfect game.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:50Sam Morril?

  That was a famous story.

• 46:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:51Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  So I follow, I walk, uh, Wade Boggs walks out and I give him my ball and he goes, walk with me. So I'm just like, walk with him. I turn around and my mom's like, I guess he's raising you now. And I'm walking down all the way to the.

• 47:03Sam Morril?

  And he held your hand like this?

• 47:05Speaker 04

  He goes, I saw the Gil pic. And then, uh, and he goes, don't make it weird. And we get, we walk to the Greyhound bus. He just keeps walking, he's in front of me. He walks on the bus, so I just like, you know, I'm nervous, but also I'm just like, fuck, yeah, man, I could maybe get on a team bus. I'm like nine years old. Walk up. He's walking all the way down the aisle way of the bus. And so I just follow him down and I see fucking Roger Clemens and Mo Von and all these guys. And I'm just walking by and they're all just minding their business. Some of them were looking up like, why is there a kid on the bus? But I, either it was normal, maybe they thought I was a make a wish, or they're like, who's the lesbian that Kendall Gill knows? Or like, maybe it's one of, you know, maybe he's, you know, Epstein's gonna come pick him up. And so I get, I get close to the end and then Bog sits down. And he goes, what's your name? And I go, Adam. And he goes, I wrote Alan. And then he handed me the ball.

• 47:50Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 47:51Speaker 04

  So he had signed it before and then still was just like, what's your name? And he's like, I fucked it up.

• 47:55Sam Morril?

  Did he fix it or no?

• 47:56Speaker 04

  No, no, he just gave me the ball.

• 47:57Mark Normand?

  You can add a little, uh, little dick on the D, on the L there. That would make a D.

• 48:01Speaker 04

  I mean, look at this guy, yeah.

• 48:01Sam Morril?

  He was a fucking badass though, dude. I mean, that guy was just instant on base.

• 48:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 48:06Sam Morril?

  He was such a hard out. Baseball's just. Him and Tony Gwynn.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:09Sam Morril?

  Nineties?

• 48:09Mark Normand?

  The nineties were the shit.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  Baseball's the, uh, sport too, where I think you can get away with the most, uh,

• 48:14Mark Normand?

  Boozen.

• 48:14Speaker 04

  Boozen, yeah.

• 48:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but that's gotta be like, the stories, he claims that, I mean, it's fabricated, obviously, but he says like, he drank a hundred beers in a flight, which like, there's no fucking way.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  There's no way. Bert Kreischer hasn't drank a hundred beers, right? And I feel like he maybe has. Yeah, that's a bad example.

• 48:29Mark Normand?

  I've flown with him, but he, he's scared of flying. So he drinks extra on flights.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  We left the Super Bowl in New Orleans, uh, when we did a show there, uh, I guess it was last year. And, uh, it was, he did an arena show and it was, you know, myself and Shane and Nikki and Tony and, um, uh, uh, Guy Fieri and, um,

• 48:47Mark Normand?

  What a lineup.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  And so we're leaving on the, uh, Bert got a plane with Howie Long and Howie bailed. So he's like, you guys wanna come on my plane? And we're like, yeah, so it was, uh, my wife and buddy and I. And we had to get up though at seven and drive three hours to the airport. So I was literally like, in some pri- uh,

• 49:02Mark Normand?

  Outside of New Orleans.

• 49:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, interesting.

• 49:04Speaker 04

  Is Lafayette?

• 49:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's about three hours.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  Great, that's where it was.

• 49:08Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Kids, you can't smoke weed and have a short-term memory.

• 49:11Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Every time I remember somebody's name from the show and some crowd work and they come to the meet and greet and I go, Dave, right? And they're like, dude, how the fuck? I'm like, That gives me another two years of smoking pot.

• 49:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:21Sam Morril?

  Do you smoke a lot of weed?

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Not a lot, but enough to, at night, I can't smoke when I'm on, I can't be high or drunk when I'm on stage because I just, even if I'm not doing anything in the crowd, I just need to have my wits about me, you know?

• 49:31Sam Morril?

  It blows me away, like, I see Big Jay just smoke a joint and then he's so fucking quick.

• 49:35Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  Totally. Some, some people are born different, but I, I can't do it.

• 49:40Mark Normand?

  It's all a personality thing. Like, if you, some people take an Adderall and they feel calm.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:44Mark Normand?

  I take an Adderall and I'm like, you know, shellacking the, the roof.

• 49:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:48Mark Normand?

  I'm buzzed up.

• 49:49Sam Morril?

  I love those fucking pills.

• 49:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, but you're pretty ADD. Do you, do you go up or down when you take it?

• 49:54Sam Morril?

  I could just fucking listen.

• 49:55Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 49:56Sam Morril?

  I mean, I'm not on it right now. I can, I'm on it now, but like, because, uh, which is exactly what a drug fiend would say. Show us your pockets.

• 50:05Sam Morril?

  But no, but I, I love it. I mean, I'm locked in.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Uh, you don't smoke at all?

• 50:09Sam Morril?

  Um, I don't like it, man.

• 50:11Mark Normand?

  I don't like it either.

• 50:11Sam Morril?

  I, edible fuck, I hate edible.

• 50:14Speaker 04

  I used to be the guy that was like, when people would say that, I'd go, oh, you just haven't smoked with the right people. Or like, you fucking, you probably took one, you, you say that it, it doesn't jam with you, but then I've also had the terrible edible experiences. I was once in my, well, I was in with Josh Wolfe, and Josh Wolfe would do like, I mean, he does shows where he does a Friday mushroom show.

• 50:32Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 50:32Speaker 04

  And Josh is so funny and he tells these great stories, but his Friday show-

• 50:35Sam Morril?

  He performs on mushrooms.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  On, uh, all the mushrooms. And it's like, but he's another guy where he can still be locked in and people, it's advertised, so people come to the show knowing he's shroomed out. And so we did probably, you know, I'll do a, a 2.5 milligram edible, we went to the show last night, uh, the All Out Show with all the rotating cast of comics, you know?

• 50:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Last night was Sarah Silverman, Craig Robinson, Heidi Gardner, and Jason Mazzucus, super funny. And, uh, and so a little edible for that, to where I can still like be in control and like, when I see Craig after, I'm not gonna be like, what's up, man? Like, I'm like, great job, you know, because I don't want to, you know, embarrass myself, but, uh, but I definitely took probably close to 80 milligrams with Josh, and he didn't tell me.

• 51:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, boy.

• 51:14Speaker 04

  And it was, it's this big brownie, and so I get home to my apartment in LA, and I start like having a freak out, and there's a game that sometimes when you smoke too much or ingest too much that you play, and pot heads will know this, a little game called, if I do this, my heart won't explode. And it's a real fun game where you just psych yourself out and have a fucking freak out on your patio. And so I was like, my heart was beating really fast, I was about to drive myself to Cedar Sinai, and I go out to the little like shitty patio I had in our apartment, and I like, in my head, I was like, just fucking keep moving, just keep moving. So I'm out there going like- Like just fucking like tap dancing like and it our apartment was set up like there was a pool in the middle. And uh, almost like Melrose Place. So there's apartments all the way around the pool. And uh, and so ours was looking across to another guy's apartment.

• 51:57Speaker 04

  And after about six minutes of fucking step ball changing on my patio, I hear this guy just go, hey man, are you okay?

• 52:03Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  And I go, yeah, I'm just rehearsing. Cause I like got nervous and like didn't wanna be caught being high, even though I should have been reaching out for help. So I go, I'm just rehearsing, man.

• 52:11Mark Normand?

  In LA, that line works. In Kansas, you're getting your ass kicked.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. In LA, everyone's like, oh, he's probably in the, you know, the Nutcracker. And so I retrieved back to my uh, inside and like somewhat calmed down. And then uh, I was like, I'm never doing.

• 52:24Sam Morril?

  It was a.

• 52:25Speaker 04

  About eighty.

• 52:26Sam Morril?

  That's crazy. That's fucking crazy.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  But Josh, there's some people that can just like do that many and just be like.

• 52:32Mark Normand?

  I know, Joey Diaz.

• 52:33Sam Morril?

  We used to, I remember the guy used to come to the cellar and just sell cookies and you just would like not know how much was in it. Was he dressed as a Girl Scout or no? No, it was a guy that was selling drugs. No, he was, that was the thing. And I remember like I see Nikki get it. She's like, oh, you should get this like really good. And I'd be like, oh, okay, cool.

• 52:49Mark Normand?

  No.

• 52:50Sam Morril?

  And then I got it and oh, I had like three roommates at the time, a full on panic attack. And uh, they had people over. I was just like rocking in a bed. And I was like, this is crazy.

• 52:58Mark Normand?

  It's a nightmare.

• 52:59Sam Morril?

  I ate the whole cookie.

• 53:00Mark Normand?

  I had, I got, I sold a show. The first, you know, you pitch a million shows. I finally sold a show. So they fly out to LA. Cause once you sell it, you gotta pitch it.

• 53:07Sam Morril?

  Yep.

• 53:07Mark Normand?

  You know, to Netflix, Hulu, whatever. So they flew me out. This is a big deal. This is years ago. I did a show at the Comedy Store, Sam Tripoli Show. They just hand you a bag of weed. It's like gummies and cookies and joints and all this shit. And I go, I'm not a weed guy. Take the bag back. And he goes, well, at least take the CBD. And I go, oh, CBD. This will help me sleep. So I just guzzled the whole jar of it.

• 53:30Sam Morril?

  It was THC.

• 53:31Mark Normand?

  It was THC.

• 53:32Sam Morril?

  Of course.

• 53:32Mark Normand?

  I don't know how much it was, but it was a full jar. I was like, I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm not a great sleeper. I'm CBDing my ass out. And I get back to my hotel and I was like. Oh my god, and it was, uh, like I fell asleep and I woke up high. It was one of those. So I'm in a dark room like, ah!

• 53:48Speaker 04

  No, there's nothing worse.

• 53:50Mark Normand?

  I'm laying on the bed and it felt like the room was vertical.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  It was.

• 53:54Mark Normand?

  So I was holding on to the, the leg of the bed, like, cause I thought I was gonna slide into, into hell.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  My god.

• 54:00Sam Morril?

  You know you were in Titanic at the end, you're like, fuck, I'm falling.

• 54:03Mark Normand?

  And then I made the worst mistake, I like army crawled to the bathroom, turned the light on and I looked in the mirror. And when you look in the mirror and you're that high, it is just the Satan.

• 54:12Sam Morril?

  No, you're like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Scott.

• 54:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I was like, ah!

• 54:15Sam Morril?

  Dude, I, I, happened to me too, I was on the road.

• 54:18Mark Normand?

  Missed all the pitches.

• 54:19Sam Morril?

  I was with, I was dating.

• 54:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, missed them all, my manager dropped me.

• 54:21Sam Morril?

  No way.

• 54:22Mark Normand?

  Well, he was, he, uh, what was he, uh, threatened to drop me, but he was like, you're crazy, they flew you out first class, da da da, and I missed them all.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  You tell him it was an accident or like?

• 54:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, of course, but he was like, you fucked us.

• 54:31Sam Morril?

  That's such a relatable accident though. Like, that's not like you're just doing blow all night, you fucked up.

• 54:36Mark Normand?

  Tripling.

• 54:37Speaker 04

  My dad did that, he's, uh, 81 and he took, uh, uh, by himself, uh, and, and he took about.

• 54:43Mark Normand?

  81?

• 54:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, it took about, uh, now he's in a home, but two years ago, um, he, uh, took about, yeah, 60 milligrams of THC, cause he thought it was CBD.

• 54:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  And I'm like, and he, and he got, he goes, I got stuck trying to take my hoodie off for four hours, I thought I was gonna die. And, uh, he's like, I watched Naked and Afraid, one of his favorite shows, so he just like played on repeat, he's like, but I got, I got to listen to a bunch of new episodes I hadn't seen, but he was like caught in his phone, he couldn't get, so he couldn't call anybody. So he was like caught in his hoodie freaking out high.

• 55:11Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 55:12Speaker 04

  At 79, 80, I mean, like, that's terrifying.

• 55:14Mark Normand?

  He was naked and afraid.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:15Mark Normand?

  By the end of it.

• 55:17Speaker 04

  Geraldo used to always, uh, I remember he had a great bit about doing all the drugs like later in life or something.

• 55:23Sam Morril?

  Oh, I love that bit.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause it was something about like. You know, when you're looking up with a hand to God, that's when you wanna be doing all the drugs.

• 55:28Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 55:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, now, now, you want, you want, PTA meetings, that's when you wanna be a little fucked up.

• 55:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I could tell the drugs when I was younger, you know, you gotta be, yeah.

• 55:36Sam Morril?

  Dude, uh, yeah, no, I had a full-on panic attack, I didn't understand anxiety, I didn't under. Not, I mean, I have anxiety, but not like to that level where you're like having a panic attack.

• 55:45Mark Normand?

  You're gonna die.

• 55:45Sam Morril?

  Well, I was like, I was like, I'm dying, this fucking, I'm gonna die in a fucking Baltimore hotel room.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  You can control your, I think your buzz with booze a little bit better, right?

• 55:53Mark Normand?

  Totally, totally.

• 55:54Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah, we know what we're consuming.

• 55:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:56Mark Normand?

  And it feels like it ends when you're on edibles. You're like, am I gonna be like this forever?

• 56:00Speaker 04

  Totally. Even when I took that two and a half, uh, before the, the show last night, I was like, that's probably fine. But it was a new brand of gummy. So I was like, I don't know that I'm not gonna go up on stage right now and start talking to Craig. Like, you know, if I get inspired enough.

• 56:12Mark Normand?

  Start heckling.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Like, is that fucking Adam Ray? Yeah.

• 56:16Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 56:16Speaker 04

  Do something from the office!

• 56:18Mark Normand?

  So, uh, crazy question.

• 56:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:22Mark Normand?

  So you're doing the stand-up tour.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:24Mark Normand?

  I assume you got a hot hour cooking?

• 56:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:26Mark Normand?

  And you've always been an improv guy, been a character guy. Now you're full on 100% stand-up, selling out everywhere. Do you get people going, "Do this!"

• 56:36Speaker 04

  So funny, yeah.

• 56:36Mark Normand?

  Do that!

• 56:37Speaker 04

  I mean, I've been doing, that's what's so funny. Even people that come out to shows.

• 56:40Sam Morril?

  Been a road comic forever, though.

• 56:40Speaker 04

  Bro, I've been in stand-up for 20 years. Even during the fill, this is why I probably also stopped doing fills, cuz I wasn't, I didn't want to just, if I was three years in and found Dr. Phil, you probably wouldn't have seen me again, cuz I would've been like, "I found something, bye-bye."

• 56:53Mark Normand?

  And it's a hit.

• 56:53Speaker 04

  I'm gonna die in the wood cap. But, but, um, you know, I'd say, I don't know, three, four years into stand-up, I was just like, yeah, I think I'm gonna, the, the drug and the grind of it, obviously hits you early, but I just was like, oh, I'm never gonna not do this. And then the fill thing, it was like the only, it felt like a reward, honestly, cuz it was like, uh, so different. I just needed something else always, like, just doing stand-up all the time, even though shows, different, different cities, whatever.

• 57:20Sam Morril?

  But it wouldn't, that wouldn't have hit in three years, cuz the reason Phil worked for me is that you had the improv chops from the road.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  Been honing all my skills from podcasting and interviewing and doing a modeling and the crowd work and being comfy to go into a, a 5,000-seat theater and just walk through the crowd and buck and man on the street shit.

• 57:37Sam Morril?

  Totally.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  Or sing stuff with a band or whatever, but, uh, no, I've been doing, so like, we had like, during March, I think it was like, we had like, five Phil shows on a weekend, which was too many. And then, literally the next weekend, uh, five shows like at the Philly Punch Line. And then the next weekend, four more Phil shows. So every time there was a free weekend, it was stand-up. So every month would be like, three or four Phils and then three weekends of stand-up. So there was no, so it was just, it was, you know, but again, no one's making me doing it.

• 58:05Sam Morril?

  It was killing.

• 58:06Speaker 04

  So that's why I never complain. It's like, nobody said you better fucking get.

• 58:09Mark Normand?

  But the move.

• 58:10Speaker 04

  Agents a little bit.

• 58:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you feel, yeah, and you also feel like I don't want to lose my fastball with stand up either.

• 58:15Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 58:15Speaker 04

  That's exactly why. I didn't also want to go back to like any club and have, I wanted to feel like when I walked on stage, they're like, oh, cool. I'm still working on stuff and this is what I, this is first. And that thing is just like a fun thing that's in addition to. But I also didn't want people, you know, for my, you know, people are gonna think what they think. And people finding me doing stand up through Phil or whatever is great because how people come to your shows is awesome. But I didn't want to go to the clubs and have people being, I didn't want to not have anything to be working on. And not to be still looked at as a stand up because that's where I am first, you know? So I didn't want people, but also you can't control, there's some people that just go, oh, yeah, the Dr. Phil thing. So and you're still doing stand up? I was like, obviously.

• 58:58Sam Morril?

  It's another gear.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  But I don't take offense to that.

• 58:59Sam Morril?

  It's another gear.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  It's another gear. To me, it was always just like another.

• 59:02Sam Morril?

  But I think it's smart that you put this because you're like, I don't want to only.

• 59:05Speaker 04

  Yeah. And also we did for two and a half year, like, and I don't know.

• 59:08Sam Morril?

  But it probably brought so many people who were like, I mean.

• 59:11Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent.

• 59:12Sam Morril?

  We talk about this all the time, like with us, we're like, so many people are like, you guys have a podcast together?

• 59:15Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 59:15Sam Morril?

  They just know us from stand up.

• 59:17Mark Normand?

  Or vice versa.

• 59:18Sam Morril?

  Or vice versa. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, you do other things too, but.

• 59:21Speaker 04

  And it really, the coolest thing is that like, you know, you just want like respect from your peers so much. And it's like, being in LA and throwing so many darts and then like, and you're just like, all right, you just gotta at some point go control what you can control. You know, just trying to get up all the time, right? And just keep pushing yourself creatively. And so to find the coolest part of it, obviously all the joy that hopefully we, that people found from it. Um, and the fun, obviously, like you guys both think, thank God, you know, wanted to jam on it, which was just so fucking fun. But people that I've looked up to and am fans of, it was like something that I, you know, kind of did. That, that, that put me on a level where people were like, oh, cool. Like you did something that, that we think is funny and fun.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  And that was like, because it, you know, and, and another reason to hang that wasn't, I mean, like shortly after that, people that wanted me on their pods that, uh, that maybe hadn't asked before. And it's like, it wasn't, it didn't feel like a. Too soon thing. It was like, yeah, I've been doing this 20 years. So like, oh, cool. I can pop into a here or a Rogan or wherever and be comfy to chit chat because it's not like.

• 1:00:24Mark Normand?

  Well, it's fun for us too, because we get to do a different muscle to go on the show.

• 1:00:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, totally. Cause I know the, I know I heard you and, and Joseph List talk about how, uh, you know, I guess terrifying. And I think the first one Joe went on in Milwaukee was like, yeah, and Phil's just up there talking about this and he said this and he's like, and he said fucking, you know, fucking, and then he said the N word and then I said the N word and I'm just like, I don't know what was happening, you know?

• 1:00:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:46Speaker 04

  And, but, and I was like, I feel, but he also, you know, I guess in the moment it does feel nerve wracking because it is a different muscle.

• 1:00:53Mark Normand?

  Well, we rely on our act and then you're just like, so.

• 1:00:55Speaker 04

  But you guys are also such good, funny people are funny people, man.

• 1:00:58Mark Normand?

  I bombed.

• 1:00:59Speaker 04

  And you wouldn't have said yes to it if you.

• 1:01:01Sam Morril?

  No, I get nervous for sure. I was pounding some booze backstage in the show.

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  You and Corolla?

• 1:01:05Sam Morril?

  Oh, he had me in a fucking headlock at the end of the night. Oh, yeah. He was fucking, tell me his life story. I was like, holy shit, we're fucked up.

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  I didn't realize how much Adam drank too.

• 1:01:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  We went to this little bar called Carion in Arizona.

• 1:01:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:17Speaker 04

  And it's, uh.

• 1:01:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's the fly bar, the plane bar.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:01:20Sam Morril?

  We got hijacked by these terrorists.

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  And, uh, we went there, they kind of held it open for us to, after the show and we were there till maybe three and like, they just gave us everything. And so, and Adam, you know, I got there after a while after the meet and greet and everything. So I was like, oh, whoever's there will be there to say what's up to, but, uh, Sammy was still there and Adam and.

• 1:01:39Sam Morril?

  I couldn't leave. He had a hold on me. I walked by, uh, Ari Madi and, uh, and five, who else? Someone else.

• 1:01:44Mark Normand?

  He's a strong guy.

• 1:01:45Sam Morril?

  Walked by, they were like, what was that? I'm like, I mean, I was enjoying talking to him, but I was pretty fucked up.

• 1:01:50Mark Normand?

  Wow. You guys have the same hair.

• 1:01:52Sam Morril?

  Oh, he looks like my illegitimate father.

• 1:01:54Mark Normand?

  He does. He really does.

• 1:01:55Speaker 04

  Do you think when your kids, uh, are older, like Mark for you, like, do you think you'll get into like the, I don't know, 60s, 70s and just be like, all right, I'm going to fucking turn things up a notch on the booze train because

• 1:02:06Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  I've done my job with the kid.

• 1:02:07Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  Right?

• 1:02:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah. And I'm so good at drinking now and I'll only be better by then. So, and maybe there'll be some magic cure all by then.

• 1:02:14Speaker 04

  There will be.

• 1:02:14Mark Normand?

  You know, no hangover pill, whatever it is.

• 1:02:17Sam Morril?

  I want to ask you about the, uh, Dr. Phil shows. He was telling me Sydney Sweeney's at one of the shows.

• 1:02:23Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:02:23Sam Morril?

  Who were some people that showed up that you were just like, what the fuck are you doing here?

• 1:02:27Speaker 04

  Oh, bro. Well, Sydney, yeah, so I met Scooter Braun at a show. Yeah, Brett, wait, I saw you guys talking about that. And I do listen to you guys a part all the time. It's always really funny. And you know what I love too? I just like, like, I don't know, fun, silly, you guys go on tangents. You're goofy. You're like, you can talk about some serious shit, but nothing's too ever heady. But so, yeah, Scooter Braun, I met doing a show with Schultz. And, and he was like, yeah, I showed Sydney, she'd never seen, I guess, any stand up. Schultz she saw, and then he showed her Dr. Phil, and she was like, I want to go see that live. And he's, so he hit me up, he's like, when's the next one? I go, the next one is the last one. And so that was like in July, and they marked it on the calendar. And then a few days out, he was like, we're gonna come through, is that cool? And I was like, for sure. And then I was like, she doesn't want to come up and do a bit.

• 1:03:12Speaker 04

  She has two movies coming out. And he's like, she just wants to watch. I'm like, that's cool.

• 1:03:15Mark Normand?

  She's so normal and little. You're like, oh, my God, that's her, this woman I've stared at.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  Big movie star, yeah.

• 1:03:21Mark Normand?

  And she's just standing right there. And you know when you see an NBA game? And there's like whores in the front, whatever, and they're like, alright, I gotta do a 360 dunk and a backflip with my legs, and they kick it up. I kicked it up a notch because she was there, and I totally got in my head, and I felt like I really struggled on that episode.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  No, oh, my God.

• 1:03:37Mark Normand?

  It was all because of this fucking coos. She got in my head, this blonde bitch.

• 1:03:41Sam Morril?

  Sweeney curse on you.

• 1:03:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but very nice lady.

• 1:03:44Sam Morril?

  She was sweet, yeah.

• 1:03:46Mark Normand?

  But she got in my head, and I couldn't think of anything funny, and I was like, Sweeney's watching you fucking loser.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  Bro, I know. Yeah, trust me. Well, McConaughey was at our Austin show. We did the Bass Concert Hall, which is on the UT campus. So it was 3,000 pack. We had Big Jay and Thomas Lennon flew out from...

• 1:04:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love Thomas Lennon.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  He flew out and...

• 1:04:06Mark Normand?

  He's funny.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  He's so funny, dude. If he's ever around here, you guys should bug me to have him come on here. Because he'd be, he's a great... So he hits me up and goes, do you want Lieutenant Dangle? And I go, I wasn't even thinking of that as an option, but that would be awesome. And he's like, yeah, I'll bring you the outfit, and then you let me know last minute.

• 1:04:21Mark Normand?

  The short shorts?

• 1:04:22Speaker 04

  Bro, it murdered. He, and we, and we had did a whole surprise video when he came out. And people went nuts, and he murdered. We had Pete Holmes and Casey Rocket. And Grace, and so after the show, I'm doing the meet and greet, and somebody goes, uh, him and Kanye was in the show, and I go, shut the fuck up. And they go, yeah, with his family. He left about an hour and a half in. And I'm like, I'm like, fuck. Yeah, the show goes like sometimes two and a half hours.

• 1:04:42Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:04:43Speaker 04

  But they, uh.

• 1:04:44Mark Normand?

  With his family?

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. And I'm like, so maybe his kids were, you know, kid, dude, even fourteen, fifteen year olds are watching all our shit on YouTube, so.

• 1:04:51Mark Normand?

  You can have Lieutenant Dangle around and watch your kids.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  Dude, so, but that was cool. And then I, like an asshole, got real, uh, fucked up that night and sent him a message on Instagram the next day being like, heard you were at the show, blah, blah, blah. Thanks, man. Just left me unseen, baby.

• 1:05:06Mark Normand?

  I got, oh.

• 1:05:07Speaker 04

  At least he saw it.

• 1:05:08Mark Normand?

  Well, he's mysterious.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's a mysterious guy.

• 1:05:09Mark Normand?

  I got wrecked after your, cause I felt bad about the bomb and Sweeney hating me.

• 1:05:13Speaker 04

  Oh, in no way.

• 1:05:14Mark Normand?

  I got wrecked at that after party, which is a badass bar.

• 1:05:17Speaker 04

  He messaged Sydney Sweeney, you bitch.

• 1:05:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you ruined me, you cunt. But, uh, yeah, we got fucked up at that bar. And I had a seven AM flight. That was the worst flight of my life.

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  Was it? I hate that.

• 1:05:26Mark Normand?

  You had a great, oh, man. You had a great night.

• 1:05:28Speaker 04

  I mean, yeah, but yeah, I mean, dude, there, you've, uh, I mean, the Chicago one you did was great.

• 1:05:32Mark Normand?

  That was killer.

• 1:05:33Speaker 04

  With, um.

• 1:05:33Mark Normand?

  Chevy Chase.

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  Chevy's come out, yeah, that was crazy.

• 1:05:35Sam Morril?

  Guy, is he, he's had like so many opportunities to not be a cunt, and he just can't help it.

• 1:05:40Speaker 04

  Oh, really? I haven't watched the doc.

• 1:05:41Sam Morril?

  I mean, I just saw clips, but it's like, you know, there's a woman is like, she's editing it, and he's like, you're an idiot.

• 1:05:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Sam Morril?

  And it's like, you're calling the person who's editing the thing, like, you've been in showbiz, what, eighty years?

• 1:05:52Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:05:53Sam Morril?

  You don't know that maybe to be nice to the, I mean, to anyone, but to the fucking editor?

• 1:05:56Mark Normand?

  It's like being mean to the chef. He's gonna jizz and you're shouting.

• 1:05:59Sam Morril?

  Exactly.

• 1:06:00Speaker 04

  Oh, you were asking Mark too about people screaming shit out and like.

• 1:06:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  You know, look, you know, I remember when I saw Chappelle, second season of Chappelle's Show, and I saw him in Vegas at Mandalay Bay, at the House of Blues, and he paused the show because people were screaming out Rick James bitch so much.

• 1:06:14Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's a nightmare.

• 1:06:15Speaker 04

  And it was just so like fucking up flow, fucking whatever, and I, every, most of the crowd is upset at these people for doing that, cause you're like, dude, this is obvious, like.

• 1:06:23Sam Morril?

  It's a show.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're all here from that, but like, stop.

• 1:06:25Sam Morril?

  It's also not clever.

• 1:06:26Speaker 04

  You're breaking up all his, yeah, totally. And so, uh.

• 1:06:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I know it. I wrote it, bitch.

• 1:06:31Speaker 04

  Exactly. And so I'm getting a little bit of that of like. Oh, we'll be right back or whatever, but like this past weekend in Maine, somebody just stood up. One guy was like, roast me. And I was like, what? He's like, fucking, hmm, fucking roast, roast me, man. Man, she fucking roast me, man. And, uh, and so then I just kinda took some time and talked through some stuff, tried to gather some info. And then, and then ended up roasting him pretty good. And then he stayed standing. So I just tried to ignore him. Usually I tried to include the distraction to squash the distraction. It's kinda how I view it where it's like, you can't just sometimes ignore. You gotta like, welcome in and use him to go into a bit, maybe about drinking or something.

• 1:07:09Speaker 04

  And, uh, and then another guy was just like, dude, Biden face. And after I'd done a few bits about Biden, he was like, dude, Biden face. I go, you want me to do more?

• 1:07:17Sam Morril?

  They bring their shit to your show. It's like, I, I got something. Don't worry. It's gonna work.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  And I just like, you know, I've, I've done both sides of the coin where it's like, I, I try to now kill it with kindness, not lose my cool because like, I've done that and it's just, nobody wins. You, the crowd, even people that are on your side, in my eyes, I'm like, you wanna keep them on your side as long as possible. And so like to, even though it might be justified to just be like, dude, shut, shut the fuck up. There's still a chunk of people that might be like, well, he was just trying to be a fan.

• 1:07:46Sam Morril?

  You kill them with kindness.

• 1:07:47Speaker 04

  Kill them with kindness. And then you keep the crowd on your side for when you have to, um.

• 1:07:50Mark Normand?

  Sometimes I just had my, my last Instagram is a guy going, I did a puzzle today. So I'm doing the whole like, is he autistic? Or is he a dick? And then I had to like, walk that line.

• 1:08:00Sam Morril?

  With me too.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  Yo, favorite.

• 1:08:01Sam Morril?

  And he was autistic and he was kinda, and he was kinda charming once I got to know him.

• 1:08:05Speaker 04

  Favorite clip of 2026 so far, dude.

• 1:08:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, thanks. Yeah.

• 1:08:08Speaker 04

  Man, yeah, you just, cause you were so like, everyone was like, yeah, like waiting for you with bated breath to like comment on what was happening.

• 1:08:15Mark Normand?

  I had to. He was like, hello, hello, I did a puzzle. And I'm like, okay. And he goes, can I get a cake now? And I'm like, oh, this guy's a half a tard, but you don't know if he's fucking with you, but.

• 1:08:24Speaker 04

  The Q tip line, my buddy, uh, speaking of Urkel, Julia White sent me, uh, a video of that.

• 1:08:29Mark Normand?

  Good guy.

• 1:08:30Speaker 04

  Of that video. And he was like, he was masterful.

• 1:08:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. Urkel. Shout out.

• 1:08:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude. But the Q tip line was so funny, dude.

• 1:08:38Sam Morril?

  He sent me a video of Sydney Sweeney and wrote masturbate.

• 1:08:41Mark Normand?

  Here's a new internet show idea. The drunk heckle guy, film that, then find that guy two days later and have an interview with him. And go, what were you thinking? Let me show you what you were like in a blackout ruining a show.

• 1:08:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but you know what? It's they're just they're either gonna be a dick or they're just not gonna be interesting.

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  It's like when Tosh did those web uh web redemptions, right?

• 1:09:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:01Speaker 04

  Where people would do something fucked up. But yeah, those guys, most of the time when people.

• 1:09:05Sam Morril?

  There's not a lot there.

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

  They always and then they usually end up if they sober up.

• 1:09:09Mark Normand?

  They're nice.

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  They're like, man, it's either sorry or they double down and it's like, dude, I was just laughing.

• 1:09:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yes.

• 1:09:15Speaker 04

  Security kicked me out.

• 1:09:15Mark Normand?

  You should be able to handle it. You're a comedian, professional comedian.

• 1:09:18Speaker 04

  Totally, dude.

• 1:09:19Mark Normand?

  You should be able to handle me throwing a beer at you.

• 1:09:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I had a weird one in DC too. It was just like, he was just like, he was just weird. He just kept like heckling and I was like, oh, what's that? And he would just lie about everything. I'm like, alright.

• 1:09:28Mark Normand?

  Geez.

• 1:09:30Speaker 04

  I had a guy throw a wine glass at me once.

• 1:09:31Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:09:32Speaker 04

  I was doing a brewery show, maybe three years in a stand up.

• 1:09:34Sam Morril?

  That's not a drink that should make you belligerent.

• 1:09:36Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 1:09:37Sam Morril?

  Why? You're throwing shit from wine?

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  It was in Paso Robles and it was uh.

• 1:09:42Mark Normand?

  Is that California?

• 1:09:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, like wine country, like maybe about two, three hours like northeast of LA. And uh and a buddy of mine had worked up there. She was like, I'm gonna produce a show up there. Upstairs, this brewery, I'm about three years in, so most of my material is about working at Universal Studios at the time. Doing Wolverine and all that.

• 1:09:57Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  And so I'm talking about that and how like, you know, some of the jokes about how I didn't know shit about Marvel Comics. So kids would be like, you know, you know, Wolverine, what's your favorite food? And I was like, potato salad, fuck off, you know? And uh and and just dumb shit. And then um and then uh there was a woman in the corner by herself and I'm kinda like looking down, thinking of like what I'm gonna do next. And she goes, she's like, gimme, you give me a kiss? And I was like, oh, should I give her a kiss? So I walk over and she just licks the side of my face.

• 1:10:22Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  And I just go like, alright, what are the three most like aggressive STDs I can say she just gave me? So I'm like, oh, she just gave me gingivitis, herpes and AIDS, you know? And everyone was like, yeah, dude, this guy's killing it. We're in a brewery, we don't know comedy, we don't get it, so this guy must be great. And then uh and then a few minutes later, I'm looking down and I see in my peripheral vision, her holding up her wine glass. Cause everyone was laughing at me making fun of her. And I didn't have enough time to like clock, like as I just see this. And as I'm like in my head looking down, I'm like, she's picking up her wine glass? And before I can like totally turn to look, I just see that.

• 1:10:58Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 1:10:58Speaker 04

  And so, I swear to God, dude, I just like, I kinda put my hands up like that to go like, no! And the base of the wine glass, I swear to God, hits my palm and it's just sweaty enough from being hot up there to where like. Like the, it, it almost suction stuck for like, hit my palm in the perfect way. And again, probably ten, fifteen feet away to where it kinda like, inside the, the inside of my fingers, whatever, it stuck just enough for me to wrap my fucking hand around it. So I fucking palmed the wine glass out of midair. And then when I did it, I turn, I look at it and then I just went, "Ha!" And everybody goes, "Ha!" And then I walked over, set it on a table and I go, "I told you bitch, I'm Wolverine, don't fuck with me." And bro, after that, I get, and I get off after that. I probably had ten more minutes, but I was like, "Goodnight, passing roadblades."

• 1:11:43Speaker 04

  I get offstage immediately, dude. "Dude, shots, shots." And now I'm like a fucking local hero.

• 1:11:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:49Speaker 04

  And like, I'm getting shots and I haven't really yet like drank on the road. So this is my first taste of like, you know, having a good set and then, you know, it's usually open mics. So I'm like, "Fuck man," like I did, you know, fifteen minutes and like ended on that. And then I went down, this, this one couple was like, "Dude, you wanna smoke weed?" I was like, "Hell yeah." I go down, I'm in the back of their little like two-door super something and I'm in the back. They get in a big fight. So I'm trying to like squeeze out, but I, there was no extra door for me to, so they were fighting. I'm in the back just high and drunk. And he was like, "You fucking, this is why I fucking hit you." I mean, he was just saying crazy shit.

• 1:12:21Sam Morril?

  He pulls the gun out, you're like, "I'm trying to catch this bullet."

• 1:12:24Speaker 04

  I tried to get out and I ended up getting out. And I go back to the, I think we were at a Hilton Garden Inn. And I was so fucked up and I grabbed like a, a couple of Stouffer's lasagnas from the hotel snack lounge. And I go upstairs and I was rooming with the other comic, Will Clifton was his name. And um, he was in the military and super funny dude. And uh, we're sharing a room and he was still out. And I am so fucked up that I like get into the shower fully clothed. Cause I was just like, it was a bad night where I was like, I need to just like, maybe just get wet. But I didn't have the energy to take my clothes off. So I get in the shower and I'm leaning up against the shower like this, eyes closed. I wake up with my legs getting undercut from the tub, hitting my head on the ground. Fell asleep, standing up in the shower. Will at this point is in the fucking room and he's got this deep Kansas City accent.

• 1:13:08Speaker 04

  He goes, he goes, "Oh shit brother, what's going on there man?" And I go, and again, shame, like I said from earlier of just like the guy catching me dancing on my patio. Instead of being like, "I'm fucked up, come in and help me." I was like, "I'm just shaving, man." And he goes, and he goes, and he goes, brother, there's water coming underneath the fucking door. And I'm like, yeah, I'm just shaving, man. Mind your business. He's like, alright, man. I get back in the shower, leaning, leaning up against the shower like I lost a big game. Fall asleep again, fall out of the shower. I mean, dude, that probably could have been the enemy.

• 1:13:37Sam Morril?

  Dude, that's how William Holden died, the actor from Sunset Boulevard.

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  Hitting his head on the-

• 1:13:42Sam Morril?

  He was a sixty year old fucking drunk and he just slipped on a rug, hit his head and bled out.

• 1:13:47Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:13:48Sam Morril?

  That's how they fuck it. By the way, huge rec, Billy Wilder, Cameron Crowe book. That's where, that's where I found that out, but uh, incredible book.

• 1:13:55Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:13:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude, so then I, I fall out and then I-

• 1:13:58Sam Morril?

  That's dangerous as fuck.

• 1:13:59Speaker 04

  And then I get up and then I, I, uh, I, yeah, opened the door, sopping wet, just fall asleep. No, then I tried to open one of the stovels, microwave wouldn't work, so I just threw it against the window, smacked, cracked the window. So now the window's cracked. And then I go down to the lobby the next morning and I'm checking out, I'm like, hey, thanks a lot, guys. And then I go, uh, I go back, by the way, shower's great, you know, whatever, just trying to make a comment. And then the guy goes, whoa, Mr. Ray, right? He goes, yeah. He goes, I need you to go ahead and pay for the, uh, stovels that you stole last night from the hotel snack line. I was like, oh, really? He's like, yeah, yeah. He's like, I don't know if you want to see the security footage of you walking and fucked up, just grabbing like nine lasagnas and going to your room. And then he goes, oh, and then he goes, yeah, totally. And then he goes, and the window you're gonna have to, uh, put a deposit for. He's like, you threw your fucking casserole, uh, at the window.

• 1:14:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, my lord. Well, hopefully this story gets longer.

• 1:14:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:47Mark Normand?

  But, uh-

• 1:14:48Sam Morril?

  That's fucking crazy.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  Just do long pauses, trying to fill the dead air.

• 1:14:51Sam Morril?

  And you kissed that fucking crazy woman. This night had so many beats.

• 1:14:54Mark Normand?

  I know. You have the best night of your life. That's what's weird about Kyle. You have this amazing night with the catch in the bottle, the drinking, and all you want to do is blackout. Isn't that weird? You should be sitting there remembering it and enjoying it.

• 1:15:04Sam Morril?

  Were you riding the wave, the adrenaline? Like, there's nowhere for that to go. So you're like, I'll just keep fucking rocking.

• 1:15:09Mark Normand?

  You're right.

• 1:15:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:10Speaker 04

  That was my point with the, I know, it was a long story, I'm sorry, but, um, people probably tuned out as soon as I said, hey, guys, happy to be here. Uh, but, um, no, but it just, my point was like, getting, riding that high of like, people, the, the adrenaline of people being like, you're the man. So then you're just like, dude, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it now. You know, you want me to steal lasagna from the Hilton Garden?

• 1:15:29Mark Normand?

  Well, as much as we bitch about- About content, you gotta have clips and filming. Imagine if that was on tape. You'd be, uh, fluffy.

• 1:15:36Sam Morril?

  Oh, catching the.

• 1:15:37Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 1:15:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:15:38Mark Normand?

  You'd be the biggest comic in the world.

• 1:15:40Sam Morril?

  That's some superhero shit.

• 1:15:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, wild dude, yeah.

• 1:15:43Sam Morril?

  That is badass.

• 1:15:44Speaker 04

  You know what's so funny? And then the yin and yang of it all is in like, you know, that was on a Saturday and then Monday I'm back wearing the claws.

• 1:15:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's hilarious.

• 1:15:51Speaker 04

  And he's like, you know, why, why, why you have to wear fake abs, you know?

• 1:15:55Mark Normand?

  It's funny that your superhero identity is the boring one. The real you is fucking catching wine.

• 1:16:00Sam Morril?

  What was her reaction when you caught that?

• 1:16:03Speaker 04

  I mean, she was black out. Yeah, she was just, uh, blackout. There's probably a picture of me.

• 1:16:08Sam Morril?

  That's fucking dangerous, dude.

• 1:16:09Mark Normand?

  I know, she could've.

• 1:16:10Sam Morril?

  Have you ever had a bottle thrown at you on stage?

• 1:16:12Mark Normand?

  I've had a beer mug, like a pint, but never a bottle.

• 1:16:15Sam Morril?

  That comic Ariel, uh, remember?

• 1:16:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, that was cool as fuck.

• 1:16:19Sam Morril?

  Kim will put her on like shortly after that.

• 1:16:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:21Sam Morril?

  They threw a beer at her and she picked it up and drank it. I was like, oh, I love that. That was pretty badass.

• 1:16:26Mark Normand?

  Very cool. That went crazy viral.

• 1:16:27Speaker 04

  Such a crazy thing to even still be in a time where, and I guess with the amount of wild shit that happens on a daily basis, nothing should surprise anyone, but, but like to be in a crowd and to throw.

• 1:16:37Mark Normand?

  Unreal.

• 1:16:38Speaker 04

  Remember when I first started getting into standup and like the idea of like, they'll throw a tomato at you or something, but like to actually throw something from the crowd is crazy.

• 1:16:45Mark Normand?

  To the person who's trying to entertain you at a show you paid for, you know, psycho?

• 1:16:49Sam Morril?

  But it's usually a heckler who's added responses and they're shitfaced and that's all they got left.

• 1:16:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Damn, Will Smith, we're talking about you.

• 1:16:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's got a new show going out called like North Pole Pole or Plug My Butt.

• 1:17:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, Pole to Pole. It's the gayest title of all time.

• 1:17:03Sam Morril?

  Plug My Butt is his wife's show.

• 1:17:08Mark Normand?

  Hey, there it is.

• 1:17:09Sam Morril?

  I can't tell if that was me or him. I got blended together.

• 1:17:12Mark Normand?

  Look, he's got jizz in his mouth, Stan.

• 1:17:16Mark Normand?

  Pole to Pole, he's just jumping one guy to another.

• 1:17:18Sam Morril?

  Fucking old, dude. Look at Will Smith.

• 1:17:19Speaker 04

  I'm not a fan. I don't like seeing that.

• 1:17:21Sam Morril?

  This is crazy.

• 1:17:22Mark Normand?

  It happens.

• 1:17:22Sam Morril?

  Do you know Will Smith?

• 1:17:24Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:17:25Mark Normand?

  Seems like a guy you would know.

• 1:17:26Speaker 04

  I, no, I, uh, I mean, I guess Neil Brennan knows him well. That's probably my closest connect.

• 1:17:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:34Mark Normand?

  Damn, he knows all the black dudes.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  Neil, Neil was at the store after the Oscar thing and Neil was, um, like telling stories about talking to him. I think he.

• 1:17:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Speaker 04

  I can't remember exactly what he said, but he was just, yeah, he was kind of, Will was kind of reaching out to Neil being like, did you see it? And like, what do you think? Type thing. And he was like, very bad. Like you oops should be. Are you not hearing from anyone? Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:56Mark Normand?

  And he loves Chris Rock, too. They're friends.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude. Yeah, totally. And it's also, I mean, it's, it does suck that like, I remember pre Oscar slap too. He was like getting into YouTube a lot.

• 1:18:06Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:18:07Speaker 04

  And he did a really cool thing and he was having Alfonso Roberto like do a lot of things with him to where I was like, just as a fan, you're like, hell, yeah, they should be fucking trying to jam on some content. And he did a thing where he bungee jumped into the Grand Canyon. Did you ever see that?

• 1:18:18Mark Normand?

  No, pull it up.

• 1:18:19Speaker 04

  And it was a whole livestream thing and it was a big, and it was, but it, but Will Smith was just so fucking fun and cool to where I was like, this isn't him doing climbing the skyscraper, what that guy's doing on Netflix, but it's.

• 1:18:32Mark Normand?

  That's amazing. Well, that's fucking Alfonso Rivera is one of the most talented guys ever.

• 1:18:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, so likable.

• 1:18:37Mark Normand?

  So likable, dancing, singing. He's a phenom, that kid.

• 1:18:41Speaker 04

  So he, like, he was, and just the fact that he was, yeah, I mean, this was, he has a whole family here. And then, so now I just see a preview for Pull the Pull and my head immediately goes to the Oscars and I just kind of go like, yeah, you know.

• 1:18:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, poor guy. Well, he fucked up.

• 1:18:54Speaker 04

  Isn't that crazy? You didn't want, like, what are you, I remember watching, and I know you probably talked about this.

• 1:18:59Mark Normand?

  I was watching it live.

• 1:19:00Speaker 04

  You were watching it live?

• 1:19:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, with the wife and we were like, what?

• 1:19:02Speaker 04

  You thought it was a joke, right?

• 1:19:03Mark Normand?

  Remember they like tried to edit it and shit, but Twitter picked it up.

• 1:19:06Speaker 04

  Well, you know what's so funny? I was on speakerphone with my wife and I was getting ready to go meet them and, and I'm watching and she goes, I go, wait, I go, can you just be quiet for one second? Chris Rock's on and this is the only part I really care about the show because it's, here's a comedian probably about to make jokes.

• 1:19:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:19Speaker 04

  And, and so I'm on speakerphone with her and listening and then it happened and then I was like, huh, that's a weird bit. And then I was like, I think Will Smith just hit Chris Rock. And she goes, what? And I go, go online. She's like, I don't see anything. And then when it cut back to him and he was like screaming and like, you're what? My, my fucking, then I was like, oh, this is not a bit. This is probably, and then literally like 10 seconds later, she's like, oh yeah, this is everywhere.

• 1:19:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:46Speaker 04

  The speed of that too, isn't that crazy, dude?

• 1:19:48Mark Normand?

  Crazy. And Schumer was hosting and she went on after, she goes, did I miss something? It was like some, she had some line.

• 1:19:53Speaker 04

  Did that kill?

• 1:19:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:19:54Sam Morril?

  That's funny.

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  Man, form is immaculate.

• 1:19:57Mark Normand?

  It's a perfect slap.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  The slap and the follow through.

• 1:20:00Mark Normand?

  It was like royalty, you know?

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  I wonder if, you know how the way that, you know, we, whether it's on a podcast or a show, you second guess and you're like, oh, I wish I had said this. Like, do you think Chris Rock, Chris Rock definitely did that?

• 1:20:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Well, you know, he got his comeuppance. When, when Dave Chappelle got tackled at the Hollywood Bowl by the trans guy and he goes, was that Will Smith? And the place went nuts.

• 1:20:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:20:21Sam Morril?

  And he had a bunch of great jokes about it in the special, yeah. When he said he wanted to watch that, that slavery movie with Chris, with Will Smith again, just to see his ass get whipped. That was hilarious. That was a great joke.

• 1:20:32Mark Normand?

  That's fun. Poor guy.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  Poor guy, I know.

• 1:20:35Mark Normand?

  Come on.

• 1:20:36Speaker 04

  Gave us so much to be happy about. What a bummer, dude.

• 1:20:39Mark Normand?

  His tickets were, they were, you know, it's like a hundred dollar ticket to see Chris Rock, but after that, there was like $500 to see Chris Rock.

• 1:20:44Speaker 04

  It's also like, think about the things you have to do to, like, to go out of your way to fuck your image up. Like, Robert, Robert Downey Jr. Only harmed himself and so the comeback, I think, was warranted, right? Cause he wasn't like, you know, doing pedophilia shit. He was just, he was just fucking himself up and like, right? And then, so people were like rooting for him to come back. But like, it's like Will Smith, like maybe, maybe he would have had an Alec Baldwin screaming at your daughter voicemail or a Hasselhoff burger on the floor.

• 1:21:10Mark Normand?

  He did shoot a lady in the face. Don't forget about that. He's a nice.

• 1:21:14Speaker 04

  Another crazy story. Wow. That woman, so the apartment complex I was telling you, that, um, uh, uh, with the pool and the thing, uh, there's a girl who lived in my apartment who worked at the Comedy Store for a little bit. And after that happened, she goes, uh, she goes, it's so crazy about that shooting, right? I go, yeah, it's fucking wild. She goes, yeah, she, she, we would see her every day. And I go, what? She goes, we would see her every day. I forget her name, unfortunately, but.

• 1:21:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, the Rust lady. Oh, wow.

• 1:21:40Speaker 04

  So her, and then I go, wait, the woman and blah, blah, blah. And I'm putting, I go with the little kid and the husband, they were in the pool like every day. So then I go, I saw them for fucking five years, every day, tons of like, hope you don't get shot by Alec Baldwin. And you know, like I, no, I wouldn't do that. That's so fucked up. But like, I would see her a lot. And, and I was like, no fucking way. Like, why? They were like the sweetest, like they had a little kid and like, always in the pool and like, oh, man.

• 1:22:06Sam Morril?

  Epstein jogging all around Manhattan. I'd be like, he's a, he's a nice man.

• 1:22:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and he's working out.

• 1:22:11Speaker 04

  That's not true. Do you think someone's got some stories like that? Dude, I once was at a Burger King and they just ran out of Whoppers and Epstein had two and he gave me one. Do you think there's any of those going around?

• 1:22:21Mark Normand?

  I saw Cosby at Sleepy's. He was trying.

• 1:22:23Sam Morril?

  I mean, if it was a 12 year old at Burger King, he might've given her a Whopper.

• 1:22:26Mark Normand?

  You wanna see my crown? Alright.

• 1:22:30Speaker 04

  Burger King came in hot with the crowns for a bit. McDonald's didn't have an answer.

• 1:22:34Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:22:35Mark Normand?

  True.

• 1:22:35Speaker 04

  We can move on from this.

• 1:22:36Mark Normand?

  Alright, alright.

• 1:22:39Speaker 04

  I love the like, man, we got three good improvisers here. What are they gonna talk about? That Burger King crown, we gotta tackle that real quick. What have you guys not hit on the pod?

• 1:22:48Mark Normand?

  We hit it all, baby.

• 1:22:49Speaker 04

  I did love that crown.

• 1:22:50Mark Normand?

  It's like he's wants to direct.

• 1:22:52Speaker 02

  How about some peeves?

• 1:22:52Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:22:53Speaker 04

  I'll do a peeve. I got a few.

• 1:22:55Sam Morril?

  I got some peeves.

• 1:22:55Mark Normand?

  Please.

• 1:22:56Sam Morril?

  Oh, you, you start us off then.

• 1:22:57Speaker 04

  Ooh, um, pet peeve, man. Um, well, this isn't, this is probably, uh, one that's pretty common and shared amongst most travelers, but hey, man, um, getting off the plane, if your row's behind, you wait your turn. You don't crush a head.

• 1:23:12Sam Morril?

  I literally just told a story about Vida with this.

• 1:23:14Mark Normand?

  Wait, wait.

• 1:23:15Sam Morril?

  The Vida story.

• 1:23:15Speaker 04

  The people you're getting, you get out by row. Say you're on row seven, someone's in row nine.

• 1:23:19Mark Normand?

  That's horrible.

• 1:23:20Sam Morril?

  Unless there's a connect flight that they're gonna miss, then I, you give them the, the green light.

• 1:23:24Speaker 04

  I'm getting real sus, and I was on a flight recently, and a guy and a gal said they had to make a connection, and they rushed off, and I see him getting coffee right when I get off the plane.

• 1:23:32Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:23:33Speaker 04

  And I walked by and I go, good luck making a connection.

• 1:23:36Mark Normand?

  Good for you.

• 1:23:37Speaker 04

  Cause I'm a dickhead.

• 1:23:37Mark Normand?

  Good for you.

• 1:23:38Speaker 04

  And the guy, and the guy turns around like this, and I just went, I go.

• 1:23:40Mark Normand?

  Good for you.

• 1:23:41Speaker 04

  It's like, I gotta do something, like, citizen's arrest, what am I gonna go up and go, hey, man, that was fucked up? But like, you know, you pulled a fast one, cause you didn't think anyone was gonna call you out for it.

• 1:23:50Sam Morril?

  It's also like, you did it for airport coffee?

• 1:23:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:53Sam Morril?

  That's your fucking end game?

• 1:23:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck you.

• 1:23:55Mark Normand?

  I have to stick my leg out in the aisle now, cause people are trying to come up quick, and you gotta, you gotta stop them.

• 1:23:59Sam Morril?

  You tripped an old lady.

• 1:24:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, fuck her.

• 1:24:02Speaker 04

  Also, pet peeve, um, people that don't say thank you when you hold the door for them.

• 1:24:06Mark Normand?

  That's a big one.

• 1:24:07Speaker 04

  That's a small one, but to me, it's like, there's two types of people.

• 1:24:10Sam Morril?

  Manners.

• 1:24:10Speaker 04

  People that say thanks and people that don't, cause then, then it's just like, uh, almost, even if you're on the phone, give me a, hey, you know?

• 1:24:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:17Speaker 04

  Give me something, or, eh, you know, give me the fucking Kramer. And, uh, well, not the Kramer, but give me the, give me the thank you, yeah.

• 1:24:23Sam Morril?

  Point at me.

• 1:24:23Speaker 04

  And, uh, but, uh, it says a lot about you if you just like, think you were, I don't know, deserving of the door hold or whatever.

• 1:24:30Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:24:30Speaker 04

  But just like, it's a small, it's also a quick way to just show your gratitude to another human being.

• 1:24:34Mark Normand?

  It's easy, it's free.

• 1:24:36Speaker 04

  This is free dude.

• 1:24:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, here, here.

• 1:24:38Speaker 02

  Where you at with letting ladies out of the elevator first?

• 1:24:40Speaker 04

  They're gonna say vote, um, I think, uh.

• 1:24:43Mark Normand?

  Drive?

• 1:24:43Speaker 04

  Out of the elevator first? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure.

• 1:24:48Speaker 02

  I do that too, and people kinda like, hmm, give me like side eye for it now.

• 1:24:51Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:52Speaker 04

  Ordering first at restaurants, I'm big on that too.

• 1:24:54Sam Morril?

  We just wanna show off what a chivalrous guy he was. I just, I, it's the type of guy I am, I let him off.

• 1:24:58Speaker 04

  Oh my god, so funny.

• 1:25:00Speaker 02

  What's ordering first? I don't know that.

• 1:25:02Speaker 04

  Just letting the gals order first.

• 1:25:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, ladies first.

• 1:25:04Sam Morril?

  I order for woman, that's what a gentleman.

• 1:25:06Speaker 04

  Ooh, there we go.

• 1:25:07Sam Morril?

  I say you'll have nothing.

• 1:25:10Mark Normand?

  He's a foot on weight.

• 1:25:11Sam Morril?

  How about, uh, here's a peeve. Ooh, this one got me. The hotel check-in call. Um, my do not disturbs up, I'm trying to nap, I get the call, "How you doing?"

• 1:25:22Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:25:23Sam Morril?

  What, are we old friends?

• 1:25:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, the W does that, "Hello, hello."

• 1:25:27Sam Morril?

  "How's it go? We just wanna make sure everything's good for you." "No, I'm trying to fucking sleep, why'd you call me?"

• 1:25:31Speaker 04

  I just assume it's fine, and if I call to complain, then we can get on the phone.

• 1:25:35Sam Morril?

  I'm a Jew, you'll hear from me, if something's bad.

• 1:25:37Mark Normand?

  I will say, I stayed in Miami at a hotel recently, and they would say, "If you need anything, just text us." And you know, you get these random texts, like whatever, and then you go, "You know what? I need a towel." "I need a coffee maker," and they would bring it right up. So the text wasn't bad, but it's not disturbing.

• 1:25:50Sam Morril?

  Text is okay, but, dude, the landline, cause like, when's the last time any of us had a fucking landline? That, a hotel's the only time you have a landline.

• 1:25:55Mark Normand?

  That's true, yeah.

• 1:25:57Speaker 04

  What do you guys ask for, uh, like mini fr- is there something crazy that you've asked for, you've called down for?

• 1:26:02Mark Normand?

  No, I just say, "Can you clean the room? It's crazy in here."

• 1:26:04Sam Morril?

  Nah, I don't, I don't wanna be disturbed, I wanna just chill, yeah.

• 1:26:08Mark Normand?

  Well, I just leave, I get coffee, and I go, "Can you clean the room?" And they do it.

• 1:26:11Sam Morril?

  Ooh, here's another peeve, it's a minor one, it's not that big a deal, but the hotels where it takes two elevators to get out.

• 1:26:16Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:26:17Sam Morril?

  I gotta go to three for the fucking front desk, they're gonna take another one to get out, I'm like, what is this, the fucking escape room? So you gotta start staying, you gotta start staying at La Quinta Inn's, man, it's just one floor.

• 1:26:26Speaker 04

  Do like a lot of fucking homeless.

• 1:26:29Mark Normand?

  I'm a stairs guy, I, I do the stairs in a hotel.

• 1:26:31Speaker 04

  Love it, who are you, Swartson? Swartson won't take elevators.

• 1:26:35Mark Normand?

  If you're on the third floor, take stairs.

• 1:26:37Sam Morril?

  This is on the sixteenth floor, Swartson walked, he took the stairs.

• 1:26:39Mark Normand?

  He's scared of elevators.

• 1:26:40Sam Morril?

  He won't take elevators.

• 1:26:41Mark Normand?

  Claustrophobic. Yeah, it's hurt his career. All right, I gotta pee for you. The guy who suggests something in the moment and waits for you to do it. Like, he's like the aggressive suggester. So I'm eating tortilla soup with a couple of people, and one guy goes, "Oh dude, you know what's great with tortilla soup? You gotta put the sour cream, like a dollop on the top." And I'm like, "Oh, okay, well, you know, I'm not a sour cream guy, but uh..." And he's like, "Dude, it's so good." And I'm like, "I like the soup, I'm good with the soup." And he's like, "Yeah, sour, let's get some sour cream in here." And he gets like a cup of sour cream, and he's like, "Okay." And I'm like, "What are we doing here? I don't want the sour cream, I'm trying to be nice." To like, "Oh yeah, one day I'll try that." But he made me try it, so I had to go...

• 1:27:25Sam Morril?

  You made, you caved.

• 1:27:26Mark Normand?

  I caved, I caved, but it was...

• 1:27:27Sam Morril?

  You caved to this fucking pushy guy.

• 1:27:28Mark Normand?

  It was getting awkward, I was like, "Okay."

• 1:27:30Sam Morril?

  But that is annoying.

• 1:27:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and people do that with other stuff.

• 1:27:32Sam Morril?

  How about you let me eat how I wanna eat?

• 1:27:32Mark Normand?

  I know, you gotta try it like this. "Oh yeah, maybe I will." Then he's like, "No, no, you gotta do it." And then he's waiting for me to be like, "Right? Right?" I hated this guy.

• 1:27:41Speaker 04

  How about TSA going through your bag? Do you ever bring food on the plane or no? Are you guys against that?

• 1:27:46Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:27:47Sam Morril?

  Food? What do you bring?

• 1:27:48Speaker 04

  Food?

• 1:27:49Sam Morril?

  What kind of food do you bring?

• 1:27:50Mark Normand?

  Rotisserie chicken? What are we talking about?

• 1:27:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, one of those bags from the grocery store.

• 1:27:53Sam Morril?

  Everyone's saying those are terrible.

• 1:27:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 1:27:56Sam Morril?

  With the plastic bag, like, that's fucking gone.

• 1:27:57Mark Normand?

  Three of those a week.

• 1:27:58Speaker 04

  One time, every now and then, I'll bring a breakfast burrito if it's super early. Not like a tuna sandwich or anything, that's not too crazy, is it?

• 1:28:06Sam Morril?

  Tuna's aggressive on a flight, I think.

• 1:28:07Speaker 04

  Tuna's aggressive, but it was a burrito. And I, and the guy opened my bag and like held it up in the sack, and he's like, "Whoop, somebody's hungry." And I was just like, "All right, dude, I didn't know I was gonna get fat shamed at fucking the security checkpoint."

• 1:28:17Sam Morril?

  Somebody's hungry.

• 1:28:19Mark Normand?

  I think it's okay to bring a breakfast burrito. I mean, if you look like that still, you know, you can't bring shit on a plane.

• 1:28:24Speaker 04

  Look at those lips. Yeah, the TSA is just like, "Let me walk you to your gate, I'm sorry about that."

• 1:28:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:28Mark Normand?

  By the way, here's a question. You're a chosen one?

• 1:28:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:33Mark Normand?

  A Hebe, a Jew, a Jaime, whatever?

• 1:28:36Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:28:37Mark Normand?

  Maybe the most hidden of the comedian Jews.

• 1:28:41Speaker 04

  Well, Ray is not a Jewish sounding name. Was Anne Frank. Wait, who? She was the most hidden. She was funny. She was good.

• 1:28:46Mark Normand?

  No, we go, hey, ding ding ding. We got one here. You know, other people, hey, Seinfeld, whatever, obvious, Dave Attell.

• 1:28:54Speaker 04

  By the way, the worst game show of the Holocaust. Ding ding ding. Fuck. They got me.

• 1:28:58Mark Normand?

  You win a train ride. But you kinda, you're from Seattle, last name Ray, you're a big sports guy, you drink heavily, you hide it well.

• 1:29:07Speaker 04

  By the way, I'm all these things too, except Seattle.

• 1:29:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point.

• 1:29:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know. Well, Ray's not.

• 1:29:13Mark Normand?

  And your hair is straight.

• 1:29:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you're pretty, you're pretty well hidden.

• 1:29:18Speaker 04

  I, um, Ray's not, that's my dad's last name and he's not a Jew.

• 1:29:21Sam Morril?

  You could have Kaiser associated your way out of a concentration camp.

• 1:29:24Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 1:29:24Mark Normand?

  Who, I think Josh Wolfe is up there as a hidden Jew.

• 1:29:28Sam Morril?

  Wow. But Wolfe is a, is a usually a Jewish.

• 1:29:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 1:29:31Sam Morril?

  Not always, but I mean, Michelle Wolfe's not, but.

• 1:29:33Mark Normand?

  Right, right. But he's got a trucker hat on and like a, you know, a country band shirt.

• 1:29:38Speaker 04

  Yeah. I should probably be trying to use it more to my advantage.

• 1:29:41Mark Normand?

  No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying.

• 1:29:42Speaker 04

  You don't have to point like that when you.

• 1:29:45Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:29:46Mark Normand?

  Who else is a hidden Jew?

• 1:29:49Speaker 04

  I love my opinion like, you haven't used it enough.

• 1:29:51Mark Normand?

  Paul Rudd. Great one.

• 1:29:53Speaker 04

  Wow, yeah. Let's go.

• 1:29:54Mark Normand?

  Kalifanakis called him out.

• 1:29:57Sam Morril?

  No, I mean, it's a joke.

• 1:29:58Mark Normand?

  It's a joke. Yeah, yeah. He didn't call the police, the Gestapo.

• 1:30:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, just saying.

• 1:30:04Speaker 04

  Have you guys been to a, um, apartments or ever? Did you go to one growing up?

• 1:30:08Sam Morril?

  Of course, I had one.

• 1:30:09Speaker 04

  You had one, that's right.

• 1:30:10Mark Normand?

  I've never been to one.

• 1:30:10Sam Morril?

  I just went to my nieces a few weeks ago. It was fun.

• 1:30:12Speaker 04

  It was fun, right?

• 1:30:13Sam Morril?

  It was a party, yeah.

• 1:30:14Speaker 04

  They are.

• 1:30:14Sam Morril?

  Not a lot of chicks, though.

• 1:30:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:30:16Sam Morril?

  They're all very young.

• 1:30:17Speaker 04

  Yeah. The, I remember going to the first one, the one, the one I had was fine. Like, I remember my, you know, I just, my mom was like, you can't invite. Yeah, that was the kid.

• 1:30:28Mark Normand?

  I mean, that kid's Asian. He looked Filipino there.

• 1:30:31Speaker 04

  Isn't that crazy? There was a girl named Jamie, I'm gonna say her full name, Jamie Davidson, and she wore, she pressured me into inviting her. My mom was like, you can't invite everyone in the sixth grade class. We had three sixth grade classes. And so I, you know, invited the people, and there were two girls that made fun of me for being fat all the time. And it turned into like this end of the year party. It was like a big thing. It was Adams Bar Mitzvah in the sixth grade, cause there was nothing going on. And it was like right a week before school got out. And everybody kind of wanted to, we didn't have parties. So it was like, oh, fucking party in Bar Mitzvah. It was like, we're going to this fucking Jew.

• 1:31:00Mark Normand?

  Blowing lines off lotkus.

• 1:31:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude, yeah. The rabbi's gonna cut everyone's dick for free. And, uh, and so, uh, so these two girls got in front of me and were like, why aren't we going to your Bar Mitzvah? And I was like, I was like, you guys fucking make fun of me for being fat?

• 1:31:15Mark Normand?

  Good.

• 1:31:15Speaker 04

  And they were just like, we were joking. And I was like, well, I'm not about you coming. And they didn't go. And then Jamie Davidson, though, cornered me and was like, where's my invite? And I go, oh, it must've gotten lost. And she was so sweet, and I think on the spectrum. And, and I said, uh, you know, for sure. She showed up in a, this is a sixth grade, 95. Everyone's wearing, like, the guys are in these fucking cheap men's warehouse suits or fucking Timu or whatever.

• 1:31:37Mark Normand?

  Were you wearing a suit to that?

• 1:31:38Speaker 04

  To a Bar Mitzvah, yeah.

• 1:31:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 1:31:40Speaker 04

  He should. Or so that's a sport coat. And the girls were all like in like, you know, just like hometown buffet dresses from the gift shop.

• 1:31:46Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:31:46Speaker 04

  And, and then Jamie Davidson shows up in a fucking Jessica Rabbit fucking like silky. And my Aunt Shirley, R I P. Shirley was a gangster. She goes, who invited the whore?

• 1:31:57Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:31:58Speaker 04

  And I remember like,

• 1:31:59Mark Normand?

  Sixth grade.

• 1:32:00Speaker 04

  And she was out there dancing by herself a lot, ripping it up and like a little like, she was putting on a show. And like, some of the dads probably were. Yeah, we had a caricature artist, but that was about the extent of the activities. And then I went to a, um, a Bar Mitzvah uh, for a kid I met from a different temple in an area of Seattle where there was a lot more money. And dude, I mean,

• 1:32:18Mark Normand?

  They go all out.

• 1:32:19Speaker 04

  It was wild, dude. I mean, like,

• 1:32:21Mark Normand?

  It's like a Sweet 16.

• 1:32:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was like, remember MTV Sweet 16?

• 1:32:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:32:26Speaker 04

  Rich person kids and like ushers there.

• 1:32:29Mark Normand?

  What? Yeah, yeah, that was a great show.

• 1:32:32Sam Morril?

  Wait, what did you say?

• 1:32:32Mark Normand?

  No, not the.

• 1:32:33Sam Morril?

  He made a joke. Well, dude, plug some fucking dates. Where are you gonna be?

• 1:32:36Speaker 04

  Uh, so the, uh, theater tour's, uh, off in, in Rockin', and this, whenever this comes out, uh, adamraycomedy.com for all the tickets. Youtube.com slash adamraycomedy for all the Dr. Phil's and, um, doing, uh, doing a little, the Netflix pod stuff is happening. I'm gonna do like a 26-episode, I guess, Adam Ray, basically be the Adam Ray Show, but it's gonna be characters and me doing pods. So, um, I guess that'll be out soon and then, uh...

• 1:33:00Mark Normand?

  How did you get them to do the Dr. Phil?

• 1:33:02Speaker 04

  Who? Netflix?

• 1:33:04Mark Normand?

  Cause they're, they're pretty tight-lipped.

• 1:33:05Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, dude. I mean, uh, yeah, I paid them. Um, but no, it was, it was, I mean, it happened very fast. It was like two weeks out, we basically.

• 1:33:13Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:33:14Speaker 04

  Phil's son hit me up on Instagram and was like, "Hey, I'm Phil's son. Uh, Phil's my dad." And I was like, "Yeah, I got that from the first thing he said." And then he was like, "My dad, uh, we should get him on your show." And we went back and forth a bunch, and then I was like, "What about..." I just kept throwing him dates. And I was almost like, "Fuck, we only have about five more on the calendar for the Comedy Store." I was like, "What about September?" And we had Fluffy and Jay Pharoah and Patton Oswalt for that. And, uh, and he was like, "Yeah, I think I can do that." So then we hit up Netflix and it was about two weeks out and we just quickly did the paperwork and got the cameras. Fluffy bailed out because I think it was just, you know, Netflix, I think he, maybe he wanted, cause you know, just give like, oh, whatever the pay is for that and, and, uh, and he didn't wanna do it. And, um, but Phil was super cool about it and, I mean, to improvise the special, I guess, was wild, but like,

• 1:33:59Speaker 04

  you know, I trusted myself enough to be able to hang with him.

• 1:34:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:34:02Speaker 04

  And he was a good sport. God bless him. I mean, he gets, he shows up and he's like, "Yeah, I've watched a lot of this, uh, on YouTube. It's pretty funny." He goes, "Now, it's your show, but I'm gonna fuck with you." And I go, "Well, I know you better than you know yourself, motherfucker."

• 1:34:13Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:34:14Speaker 04

  And, uh, and, you know, he was, uh, he was just silly, dude. I mean, I, and that's all, I've never even seen like a full, I've probably seen five minutes of an actual Phil episode, so. But everyone, I think what everybody, you know, overall probably like connected with it is like, he's enough of a guy where you go, "All right, I've seen him." Like, he gives advice, he's a little abrasive. You know, he's got soundbites where it's like, you know, "You're kind of a, you're, you're..." I didn't come 90% of the way to get 10% of the information, Sam.

• 1:34:39Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:34:40Speaker 04

  He's got enough of those, like, there's two sides to a... Pancake, but then he's also kind of a twat where it's like he'll kind of like chopping out in front of your family and like embarrass you because you need to be humbled. So having that, I think in the, in the, you know, in the, uh, at the forefront, I think people were like, uh, you know, receptive to at least me fucking around, but he was a good sportman.

• 1:34:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:58Speaker 04

  And they were nuts when he came out, which was like, that's the other thing too. It's like, fuck, what if we get him out and everyone was just like, we thought it was gonna be fluffy.

• 1:35:04Sam Morril?

  What if he just phoned it in? You're like, yeah, I'm relying on him bringing the heat.

• 1:35:07Speaker 04

  What if this was his way of being like, I'm gonna shut it down.

• 1:35:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:10Sam Morril?

  He's like, you think you're fucking funny, dude?

• 1:35:12Speaker 04

  Yeah. Hey, Adam, stop. You know, we won't be ready.

• 1:35:16Sam Morril?

  That would have been great too.

• 1:35:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, we like to see celebrities be able to take a joke, you know?

• 1:35:21Speaker 04

  Man, that's the thing too is like, who was I talking to? I might have been Santino early on. He was like, yeah, dude, enjoy it. Like, I can't see this guy having a good sense of humor about it.

• 1:35:28Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:35:29Speaker 04

  And, uh, and then, you know, thank God, because you don't, yeah, you don't fucking know. Like there's, it's also, he's not, this is a new thing. It's not like he's been paired. He's been parodying on, I think, like on SNL, Mad TV, but, but not, you know, in a, in a way like this.

• 1:35:43Mark Normand?

  You're hocking the book. You got the book on the stool and it's a lot of eyeballs.

• 1:35:47Speaker 04

  I would always go to, you know, it was like a running bit if somebody would say something like, you know, I think we did it on your episode too. It was, um, uh, in Chicago when, or no, the, the first time you did the LA one with Pimple Popper and Burt.

• 1:35:57Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:35:57Speaker 04

  Where you, where you thought the Pimple Pop was real and you walked off stage.

• 1:36:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it was so gross.

• 1:36:01Speaker 04

  That was incredible, man.

• 1:36:02Mark Normand?

  That was amazing. That was a great show.

• 1:36:03Speaker 04

  Taking shots with everybody.

• 1:36:04Mark Normand?

  She was super going pretty hot, actually, that lady.

• 1:36:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, save it. You know Pimple Popper?

• 1:36:08Sam Morril?

  I don't.

• 1:36:08Mark Normand?

  Pull her up. She was wearing tight scrubs.

• 1:36:11Speaker 04

  It was, uh, it was Pimple Popper on Phil, but it was, uh, Sandy Danto.

• 1:36:14Speaker 02

  Pause this for one second. I'm gonna fucking piss.

• 1:36:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, go, go, go.

• 1:36:17Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 1:36:18Speaker 04

  Sorry, you guys were trying to wrap up.

• 1:36:19Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 1:36:23Speaker 02

  Oh, you should add that to your impression. The dying stuff.

• 1:36:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:36:28Speaker 04

  Please pause real quick. I gotta fucking piss real quick.

• 1:36:31Mark Normand?

  You make him full New York like Tabby in the 80s.

• 1:36:34Speaker 04

  Well, here's the thing. It's like when someone's regular, his regular voice is just, you know, we went to the Knicks game and, well, Vita, Vita said, you know, I can, there's a way just to talk like down the link, but, but it's more fun to put like a little more character-y like.

• 1:36:47Mark Normand?

  Sure, of course.

• 1:36:47Speaker 04

  We had the Knicks game and we fucking, a little bit of Rodney in there too.

• 1:36:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, there it is.

• 1:36:52Speaker 02

  You mean this or the actual?

• 1:36:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, that was it.

• 1:36:54Mark Normand?

  This is the, the scene, but we're talking about the lady, but yeah.

• 1:36:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:59Mark Normand?

  What's that guy's name again?

• 1:37:00Speaker 04

  Sandy Danto.

• 1:37:01Mark Normand?

  Sandy Danto.

• 1:37:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:37:05Mark Normand?

  We were drinking hard. I mean, this is, I was hungover. It was a crazy weekend.

• 1:37:09Speaker 04

  Bro, that fest, this was like, I think towards the end or the middle of the fest.

• 1:37:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, two years ago.

• 1:37:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, look, you put the mic down. You were like, fuck it, I'm out.

• 1:37:18Mark Normand?

  There's Burt.

• 1:37:19Speaker 04

  Mark walked off.

• 1:37:20Mark Normand?

  I couldn't handle it, cuz the goo is what got me, that pus.

• 1:37:23Speaker 04

  If you didn't see this.

• 1:37:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, come on!

• 1:37:25Speaker 04

  It was macaroni.

• 1:37:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, macaroni. What was the goo? Cheese?

• 1:37:30Speaker 04

  Yeast? I don't know. Yeah, it was something.

• 1:37:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, man. Oh, that's a great, that's, see, that's a, that's a comic right there.

• 1:37:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Celebrate. Yeah, dude.

• 1:37:41Mark Normand?

  Boy, the real Phil can't kick like that.

• 1:37:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude. Yeah, he was slow moving when he came out, too. I think he was seventy, seventy-four.

• 1:37:48Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:37:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:37:50Speaker 02

  Does, uh, that Dr. Pimple Popper, should take that from the Seinfeld reference? Is that?

• 1:37:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, good question.

• 1:37:55Speaker 02

  That's in Seinfeld episode.

• 1:37:57Mark Normand?

  Probably. Good question.

• 1:37:59Speaker 04

  Uh, you guys are gonna come out for the Netflix Fest, right?

• 1:38:01Speaker 02

  I'll be there.

• 1:38:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell, yeah. We're all going. We're gonna do some pods out there, try to get some real ladies.

• 1:38:06Speaker 04

  Wow, yeah, good call. Yeah, there's, cuz there'll be people out there that, I guess, I mean, that's the crap shoot of doing the pod, right? It's like trying to book and scheduling or whatever, but if you're out there for, hopefully you gotta stay for a few weeks.

• 1:38:18Mark Normand?

  Eh, a few weeks.

• 1:38:19Speaker 04

  A few days.

• 1:38:20Mark Normand?

  What, are you crazy?

• 1:38:21Speaker 04

  I don't know, try to get Letterman. Try to get Letterman, Jim Carrey or something like that?

• 1:38:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, Letterman would be amazing. Jim Carrey, good call. Yeah, Paula Deen, who knows?

• 1:38:29Speaker 04

  I, Jim Carrey is like, I mean, when people always say like, who did you wanna film, I mean, Conan and I tried so hard to get. His, uh, assistant, so and I went to college with, so I had a direct line.

• 1:38:41Mark Normand?

  You would love that. That's so shocking.

• 1:38:42Speaker 04

  It's just the timing. It was just every time I hit her with a date, it was like, he's got his own show or, uh, function or something, but like, yeah, the, the ultimate. Or, um, but Jim Carrey, too. Or Sandler, fucking, or Jamie Foxx, or like, you know, just guys that are like.

• 1:38:55Mark Normand?

  Great list.

• 1:38:56Speaker 04

  Bit guys, you know. What about you guys? Dream guest for the pod?

• 1:38:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, we got, we got Charlie Sheen we want, uh, we want.

• 1:39:02Speaker 04

  He hasn't done it.

• 1:39:03Mark Normand?

  No, we'd love to get.

• 1:39:04Speaker 04

  He didn't want to do every pod, didn't he? Yeah, we just, I don't know, we missed that shit. He didn't do Theo's, did he? I don't know.

• 1:39:10Mark Normand?

  Who? No, Sheen, no.

• 1:39:12Speaker 04

  I think we scare, I think we scare a lot of people away with the title, where they're like, I'm sober.

• 1:39:16Mark Normand?

  I don't wanna drink on here. I don't know if you saw that.

• 1:39:17Speaker 05

  Documentary.

• 1:39:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:19Speaker 05

  I'm not really winning really anymore.

• 1:39:21Speaker 04

  That doc was wild though.

• 1:39:22Mark Normand?

  Wild.

• 1:39:23Sam Morril?

  It wa- it was weird.

• 1:39:24Speaker 04

  You didn't like it?

• 1:39:25Sam Morril?

  It was entertaining, but I'm like, part of me was like, I feel like I went like a little soft on him.

• 1:39:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's what, that's the new way now.

• 1:39:33Speaker 04

  You wanted them to go harder on his what? I'm like.

• 1:39:35Mark Normand?

  Like they had the Eddie Murphy doc, they didn't bring up the trans hooker.

• 1:39:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I feel, I feel like the docs, yeah, they're just, they're clearly produced by the people.

• 1:39:42Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:39:43Sam Morril?

  Right, right, right, right. So the questions aren't as hard hitting. Yeah.

• 1:39:46Mark Normand?

  I thought, what's Denise Richards saved it, or stole it.

• 1:39:49Speaker 04

  She's a fucking, she's a, she's a cool lady.

• 1:39:51Mark Normand?

  Class, yeah.

• 1:39:51Sam Morril?

  I like her.

• 1:39:52Mark Normand?

  She's like, oh, these hookers are hungry, I'll make them sandwiches.

• 1:39:55Sam Morril?

  We'll add a show in Stanford late Thursday, and we'll add a show in Providence late Thursday, and then I'm fucking, I'm done, dude.

• 1:40:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a lot of shows.

• 1:40:02Sam Morril?

  I'm taping a special in fucking.

• 1:40:03Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, Mazel.

• 1:40:04Sam Morril?

  Oh, oh yeah, I'm doing Rosemont, and I think that's sold out, maybe not, I don't know, but then, and then I'm doing a special, Tampa Theater, February 27th, sold out, so please buy for February 26th.

• 1:40:13Mark Normand?

  Aw.

• 1:40:13Sam Morril?

  Tampa, baby. It's gonna be fun. Uh, new special.

• 1:40:16Speaker 04

  These are Mark's dates?

• 1:40:17Mark Normand?

  Hey, New Jersey, we're adding a show on Thursday, so come on out to that. San Antonio, baby, lol, almost sold out. Tulsa, never, never played there.

• 1:40:26Speaker 04

  Great club. Tulsa, shout out to the Brick Town, yeah, great club, you're gonna love it, you're gonna rip. It's got a great setup for all the shit, you're not jammed up, cool green room.

• 1:40:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, I can't wait, alright.

• 1:40:35Speaker 04

  Great room.

• 1:40:36Mark Normand?

  Flagstaff, and Swarita, thanks for the shout out, Doug Stanhope, that was nice. Indianapolis, Buffalo, and Lexington, Kentucky, Providence, Rhode Island, all kinds of good stuff. MarkNormanComedy.com, go to Punch Up, get some Bodega Cat, where are you, Ray Ray?

• 1:40:53Speaker 04

  When does this come up again? 25. This episode drops on, on the Sunday? Yep. Great, so Albany, if you haven't come out to the show, if, if, hey, thanks for, uh, alright, Seattle, if, um, yeah, Seattle, I'm doing a show with Cal Raleigh in Seattle on the, uh, yeah, the 28th.

• 1:41:08Sam Morril?

  You're the fucking sports guy out there, dude.

• 1:41:10Speaker 04

  We did, I presented his, um, breakout star of the year, yeah. I went to Vegas to present the Sports Illustrated Award for him, and we just played blackjack and drank all night, and he was like, uh, and I roasted the Mariners last year, so I got to know him and some of the other guys, and he was like, we gotta do a show. You know, these guys, they wanna, like, you become their connection to the biz. And so I hit up the Fifth Ave in Seattle, and we're gonna do that on Wednesday, and it's all going to charity, but it's me and him, and. Like I said, hopefully a few other music guys, Eddie Vedder might pump through.

• 1:41:36Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 1:41:38Speaker 04

  And then, yeah, the mothership, and then Detroit, and then Minnesota, February, and then we got South Carolina, North Carolina, Vegas, first time in a theater in Vegas, The Win.

• 1:41:47Mark Normand?

  Woo, The Win is nice.

• 1:41:49Speaker 04

  Have you guys done it?

• 1:41:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's.

• 1:41:50Mark Normand?

  Very sexy.

• 1:41:51Sam Morril?

  Say what up to Dylan for me, man, good dude.

• 1:41:53Speaker 04

  Let's go. And then, yeah, Chesterfield, what, Denver, Paramount, Carnegie, and Mon Hall, Pennsylvania, all these new spots.

• 1:41:59Mark Normand?

  Man, you are cooking.

• 1:42:01Speaker 04

  A few clubs in between, and then doing some hard rocks in Florida in July, and then probably tape something around then.

• 1:42:06Sam Morril?

  Look at that summer.

• 1:42:07Speaker 04

  Gotta go, yeah.

• 1:42:08Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:42:09Speaker 04

  And then we got Australia, Australia and New Zealand is all June.

• 1:42:12Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:42:13Speaker 04

  And that's three fills, and then a bunch of stand-up, and then.

• 1:42:15Mark Normand?

  You gonna tape this puppy?

• 1:42:17Speaker 04

  We tape what?

• 1:42:17Mark Normand?

  This hour at some point.

• 1:42:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, probably June or July.

• 1:42:20Mark Normand?

  Okay, great. I'd like to see this stand-up.

• 1:42:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's.

• 1:42:24Mark Normand?

  And you post a ton, by the way, your clips are great, the heckle stuff.

• 1:42:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, it's so funny, like, the, you know, topical bits I'll maybe put up, like, I put, like, there was a moment when Caroline Levitt, you know, was saying, and it was, I guess, at the height of the Epstein files too, so I was like, oh, if something pops up to, like, riff on, maybe put it out there, or even just do, it's one thing I learned from Gerardo too, when I hosted for him once at Irvine Improv, favorite comic of all time.

• 1:42:48Sam Morril?

  He's one of the best of all time.

• 1:42:49Speaker 04

  And he was just so, I just was such a, I was always trying to get people on his stand-up train, because everybody was just like, oh, great roast guy, and I was like, he's fucking brilliant.

• 1:42:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:57Sam Morril?

  And he was able to kind of just hit the right angle, he never got, like, pandery or preachy.

• 1:43:02Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:43:03Sam Morril?

  It was joke.

• 1:43:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:04Sam Morril?

  Good joke.

• 1:43:04Speaker 04

  And he, but he told me, he was like, I was like, do you have any, like, writing tips? He's like, talking about how, like, he'd read the paper a lot and try to write topical stuff, because, yeah, it might have a shelf life, but it got him to form an opinion and a point of view quicker, because he was like, oh, I read a news story, and then go, oh, what do I think about this?

• 1:43:18Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:43:19Speaker 04

  Like, he had that, that one joke that was kind of evergreen, where he'd do the, you know, he's like, there's a news story, a guy fell off a cruise ship, or a guy jumped off a cruise ship, he'd been struck by lightning seventeen times, then got married, got in a fight with his wife, and jumped off the cruise ship. He goes, even God himself couldn't kill this man, and he was like, send in the experts, you know, great joke. But it was like a joke that he could do all the time, but it was based on something that he really read. And then he put his, and so I definitely tried to apply that for a little bit.

• 1:43:45Sam Morril?

  That's an evergreen.

• 1:43:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:46Sam Morril?

  I mean, he, I think from Good Day to Cross the River, which is one of my favorite albums.

• 1:43:50Speaker 04

  Oh, unbelievable.

• 1:43:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:51Speaker 04

  But yeah, so, so putting up like Crower clips, so that's the thing that always sucks too, when, uh, I, I guess I gotta find a little bit more of a balance between some bits and Crower, cause I'm just like, I don't wanna burn the bit. And like, I'll just put the Crower clip up and, and come to the show. Some people are like, is this all you do? I'm like, no, come to the show to see the, the hour.

• 1:44:06Sam Morril?

  I know, seriously. It was like, no, not giving it all away for free, dude. Come see the show, but.

• 1:44:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, another great Geraldo, then we'll get out of here. He had that great bit. Another news story, he's like, let's read the news story and they had a guy, uh, he burned his, uh, genitals in the shower. He's like, hell of a way to test the water, huh?

• 1:44:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, or what's it, um, uh, I was on the subway the other day and this guy screams across the tracks, yo Monica, yo Monica, yo, you got AIDS, yo. He goes, wow, that's how they tell you?

• 1:44:33Sam Morril?

  And then the tag, that Michael Moore is right. We really do have the worst healthcare in the fucking world.

• 1:44:37Speaker 04

  Love that you guys know that, dude.

• 1:44:38Sam Morril?

  Oh, I, I was at that, I was in the fucking front row of that taping.

• 1:44:41Speaker 04

  No way.

• 1:44:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we loved Geraldo, dude. I remember Mark and I were in the back of comics watching him headline once and we were just like fucking, we were like high fiving after the jokes, we're like young ass comics, we were like.

• 1:44:50Speaker 04

  What would he be doing right now? Podcasts or?

• 1:44:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, he'd have the best political stuff, the best, uh, topical.

• 1:44:54Speaker 04

  Right? He'd be going on all the shows and just ripping it. He was selling out theaters and like.

• 1:44:58Sam Morril?

  Phenomenal comic.

• 1:44:59Mark Normand?

  He'd be on this pod, we, we wouldn't be able to keep up with him.

• 1:45:01Speaker 04

  I get, and probably cause he did so many pilots that I guess didn't work out, but now because with pods and touring, that could maybe be enough for him, right?

• 1:45:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, definitely.

• 1:45:09Sam Morril?

  He'd be a legend. Yeah, he was a legend, but you know, I think he would've just kept.

• 1:45:13Mark Normand?

  He has that show. Remember that newsy kinda show with Lewis Black or what was that show, Root of All Evil?

• 1:45:18Sam Morril?

  That was Lewis's show. He was just always on.

• 1:45:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, he was always on, okay.

• 1:45:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he was great on that. Well, he was a lawyer and you had to be a lawyer on that show.

• 1:45:25Mark Normand?

  Yes, he had to debate.

• 1:45:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he was a beast.

• 1:45:28Speaker 02

  So I want to leave this on the table here before we go.

• 1:45:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:45:31Speaker 02

  Have you been working on your salmon impression?

• 1:45:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, good question.

• 1:45:34Speaker 04

  So I was just talking with Mark when you were off, uh, eh, I gotta pee real quick. I just gotta fucking pee.

• 1:45:40Speaker 04

  So the laugh I was doing that you guys-

• 1:45:41Sam Morril?

  I have a little moe from The Simpsons, I guess.

• 1:45:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:44Speaker 04

  Well, here's the thing, I was saying like, your regular voice is so deep, so it's like, so initially, I always want to take something and like, you know, getting the voice perfect is fine or whatever, but it's like, if you can like, heighten it a little bit, so that's why my, my, uh, my instinct is always to go a little bit like, Jesus, yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I fucking, I, yeah, yeah, I'm a Jew, you want me, you want to see my cock? You know, at least that's what I, that's what I said, but, but then, uh, but the laugh, you have the, uh-

• 1:46:10Sam Morril?

  He would never move that much in his head.

• 1:46:12Speaker 04

  No, you do do this, you do do, you do do this, you know-

• 1:46:14Mark Normand?

  You do do that, yeah.

• 1:46:15Speaker 04

  You go like this, you go, you go, "Well, I mean, some, you know, Carrot Top has never eaten a carrot," you know, like, like, you do have like the, like, "But he was a pretty good Gary Vee, it is white," you know, or, or, uh, you know, uh, "Gary V does have HPV." Uh, but there's, but then the laugh-

• 1:46:31Mark Normand?

  I wish Santino would break in right now.

• 1:46:32Speaker 04

  But the laugh, the laugh I was doing too, your laugh, I think your actual, you do have like the-

• 1:46:37Mark Normand?

  That's, that's dead on.

• 1:46:39Speaker 04

  But it's more, it is a little higher, I think, too, when it's a genuine, like-

• 1:46:42Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:46:44Speaker 04

  Like, it's a little, yeah, but it's a good laugh, too.

• 1:46:47Mark Normand?

  I'm flattered.

• 1:46:48Speaker 04

  It only, it only stuck out because it's infectious. When I was watching some episode, Jurgunoff, it was, um, it was, uh, you know, that's the thing, too, is like, man, you see pods, and that's another reason, you know, last compliment, but you guys are always like goofing and making each other laugh, and that's, you know, and Mark is going, "Oh, man, oh, man, whoa," you know, you're always fucking chint- chimery chew and then like, back and then-

• 1:47:10Sam Morril?

  Ever since the Rizler, he's been doing it.

• 1:47:12Speaker 04

  That shit, oh, man, that was so fucking funny, and when he sat on your lap, Jesus.

• 1:47:16Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, great comedy instinct there, Sal, he's getting the fucking studio shut down.

• 1:47:20Speaker 04

  Who suggested that?

• 1:47:21Sam Morril?

  Fucking dipshit over here.

• 1:47:22Speaker 04

  Nice, dude, of course you did. Hey, maybe get on his lap for a clip.

• 1:47:26Sam Morril?

  Oh, man, I ran a Steve Fabricant, outside Steve from the cellar, and he goes, "That was a bad idea." Yeah, we know.

• 1:47:32Speaker 04

  Dude, Fitzsimmons looked like Billy Bush on Trump's bus when he said, "Grab my the pussy," he was like, "Okay, I guess you can do that," you know?

• 1:47:39Mark Normand?

  David Tell was unfazed, he's like, "Who the fuck is this?"

• 1:47:42Sam Morril?

  Oh, man, I saw him last night, we were talking about it.

• 1:47:44Speaker 04

  He goes, "I want to bring him a basket of Brett," what'd he say, "I want to bring him a..."

• 1:47:47Mark Normand?

  He goes, "Another, what's the next mountain to climb, Twizzler?"

• 1:47:50Sam Morril?

  And when he was on your lap doing this, he goes, "He's Rizlin." "He's Rizlin."

• 1:47:54Speaker 04

  "Dismount, son, dismount."

• 1:47:57Mark Normand?

  Heck, that was a warm buttocks. I'll say that right now.

• 1:48:00Sam Morril?

  Don't say that right now. Well, buy some bodega, cat. We love you. See Adam on the road. See you next week, guys.

• 1:48:06Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah, comedy.

• 1:48:54Speaker 06

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