Pod Insights The School of Greatness 1012 Paris Hilton: Dangers of Fame, Building an Empire & Healing Trauma About this episode “It’s exhausting having to pretend to be this Barbie Doll who has no brain all day long, when in the back of my mind I know exactly what’s happening.”We all might think we know Paris Hilton, but for the first time ever, she's peeling back the layers from her carefully crafted persona. In the new documentary, "This Is Paris," she reveals that she was physically, verbally, and emotionally abused at a boarding school in her teens. And in this conversation with Lewis, she delves into the dark secrets from her past, explaining how the trauma affected her, why she kept it hidden for so long, and what she's done to start to heal. They also discuss how Paris became the "OG influencer" and her thoughts on fame today, as well as the growth of her business empire. Kobe Bryant on Mamba Mentality, NBA Titles, and Oscars: https://link.chtbl.com/691-podKevin Hart Breaks Down His Secrets to Success: https://link.chtbl.com/956-podKatherine Schwarzenegger Pratt on the Power of Forgiveness: https://link.chtbl.com/925-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Lewis Howes? This is episode number 1,012 with the one and only Paris Hilton.
0:07 Lewis Howes? Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.
0:31 Lewis Howes? Clinical psychologist Peter A. Levine once said, "Trauma is hell on earth. Trauma resolved is a gift from the gods." And Demi Lovato said, "You don't have to struggle in silence. You can be unsilent." Paris Hilton isn't historically associated with mental health and vulnerability, but for the first time, she is speaking out on her battle to overcome dark secrets from her past. And in a new documentary called This is Paris, the iconic personality and businesswoman reveals that she was physically, verbally, and emotionally abused at a boarding school when she was growing up. And according to Paris, this traumatic teenage experience has shaped so much of her adult life, from trust issues
1:16 Lewis Howes? with romantic partners, to the creation of a fake persona for the media, and a desire to build a billion-dollar brand. And my interview with Paris was fascinating, as we started to peel back the layers on one of the most famous people of the internet age. She's still getting comfortable with being publicly vulnerable, and her healing process is ongoing. But our conversation helped me understand not only Paris herself, but also the modern world. And in this powerful episode, we discuss Paris's childhood, who the true Paris Hilton is, and why she's hidden that person from the world. What Paris has done to start overcoming the nightly nightmares she used to face. How Paris became the first influencer, and
2:00 Lewis Howes? why she feels responsible for aspects of social media culture today. Paris's goals and dreams, and how she wants to be remembered, and so much more. Make sure to share this with someone who needs to hear it. And a quick reminder to subscribe to the School of Greatness over on Apple Podcasts, or Spotify, or anywhere that you're listening. And please leave us a review and rating over on Apple Podcasts as well. Okay, right after this quick message, the one and only Paris Hilton.
2:30 Lewis Howes? Welcome everyone back to the School of Greatness podcast. I'm so excited. We've got the iconic Paris Hilton in the house. I'm so glad you're here.
2:36 Speaker 01 Thank you. Excited to be here.
2:38 Lewis Howes? I've watched your documentary and I'm fascinated by your story, by your life. We were talking just before about how in your documentary, people need to watch this. It's unbelievable. It shows your whole journey from when you were a kid to where you are now, how you've built your empire and the adversity and the challenges you've faced that you've been holding on to for a long time. And we were talking about how we both went away to essentially schools when we were teenagers. I went away to a private boarding school, but I begged my family to send me away because the environment wasn't good for me where I was at. You got kidnapped and got sent away to a school in Utah. What was that like being kidnapped and sent away to school when you didn't want to leave?
3:22 Speaker 01 Traumatizing. I had no idea who these people were, just these two big men coming into my room in the middle of the night and literally grabbing me and carrying me from my bed. And I thought that I was being kidnapped. It was like something from the movie Taken. It's terrifying.
3:36 Lewis Howes? It's crazy. And you, you talked about how you were really kind of holding on to this. It's really this, this moment shaped you because you had these nightmares all the time, right?
3:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:45 Lewis Howes? Do you feel like you've, through this process of healing and sharing your story, do you feel like you've started to heal or are those nightmares still pretty active for you now?
3:55 Speaker 01 It's really incredible just going through this experience and finally opening up for the first time with all these emotions that I've blocked out, which were obviously still in me. But I think from me talking about it and finally releasing all of that, and now just being in such an amazing relationship where I finally feel so safe, I haven't had one nightmare since.
4:16 Lewis Howes? Really?
4:17 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
4:18 Lewis Howes? Well, I love in the documentary how you say you've always attracted kind of the wrong partners who weren't your equals. And your sister was trying to say like, you really need an equal, but you were kind of terrified because you couldn't control an equal. Is that right?
4:32 Speaker 01 Yes.
4:32 Lewis Howes? But it seems like you've found a great match now. He's more of an equal. And you think because of that, you haven't had these nightmares anymore?
4:40 Speaker 01 I think that's why, just feeling safe and just feeling so in love that all I dream about is our future. And like you said, this is the first time where I've had an equal. And the first time I've opened up my heart because I built up such walls where I didn't let anyone in. And it wasn't until now that I finally have opened up my heart and I never knew it was possible to feel so in love and so happy.
5:06 Lewis Howes? Really?
5:06 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
5:07 Lewis Howes? What is, what does love mean to you?
5:10 Speaker 01 Love means...
5:11 Lewis Howes? What does love mean now and what did it mean before the last year?
5:15 Speaker 01 Love to me now means just your best friend, happiness, feeling safe, like you found home. And before love, I didn't really know what love was. I think just from what I went through that I had this blurred sense on what love really was and I almost would just pretend to be in love, just to portray that I was happy and living this perfect life. But deep down, I never really felt it.
5:44 Lewis Howes? Wow. I, I wrote a book a couple of years ago called The Masks of Masculinity, which are the, the kind of the walls that men put up to defend themselves in relationship and in the world. And you talk about in your documentary about these masks, this character that you've been playing for a long time and kind of the walls you put up to defend yourself. I'm curious, when did you decide that you needed to put up a character for your life, for relationships, for your businesses, things like that? You talk about this. When did you make that decision that this was the life you needed to live?
6:19 Speaker 01 I started developing the character when I was sent away to the school. Just because every day was a nightmare, it was torture. So the only thing that kept me going and not losing my sanity was just thinking about who I was going to become when I got out of there. And I think I just built kind of this Barbie doll, Disney princess, perfect life, just so I wouldn't have to think about all the just horrible things that I went through.
6:45 Lewis Howes? The pain, the trauma, yeah.
6:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was like a distraction.
6:48 Lewis Howes? I love where you talk about visualizing who you wanted to become. I think that was really cool. How important has visualization been since that day or since those days at school? Have you always been dreaming and thinking about who you wanted to become since then?
7:01 Speaker 01 Yes, I really believe that whatever you think about and really set your mind to, anything is possible. And I hope that when people watch this film that they can see that even if you've been through things in life, you can make it through and you can become successful if you really just put your everything into it and really visualize it. And that's something I do every day and I feel like I've always been that way where I've been ahead of my time and always thinking one step ahead, always.
7:28 Lewis Howes? What does that visualization process look like for you? Is that something at night that you, you know, you close your eyes and you think about? Is it every hour of the day, it just kind of comes to you what you want? How does that, how does that look?
7:40 Speaker 01 It's nonstop.
7:40 Lewis Howes? Really?
7:41 Speaker 01 All day long, just, I'm always thinking of new ideas. I'll wake up in the middle of the night, I'll think of something, I write it down. I don't know, my mind just never stops. It's literally 24/7. I'm just always thinking of just new ways, new businesses, just ideas. And I don't know, I just, I love being creative.
7:59 Lewis Howes? Yeah. If you had to give yourself a definition of who Paris is, what would you say? Who is the real Paris?
8:08 Speaker 01 Kind, fun, brilliant, sweet, with a big heart.
8:13 Lewis Howes? Did you always think that way?
8:15 Speaker 01 I always knew I was kind and sweet, but I also was just so lost and just had so many emotions and, you know, just being at these places where every single day you're being verbally, physically, emotionally abused, where they want to break you down and make you feel so terrible about yourself. So for a long time, I just had no confidence and just didn't even know who I was.
8:40 Lewis Howes? When did you learn to have more positive thoughts about yourself? Like self-belief and who you were? Or do you still doubt yourself today in some ways?
8:48 Speaker 01 I'm human, so I think everyone doubts themselves sometimes. But I feel like within the past year, I've just learned so much about myself and I'm so proud of the woman I am and what I've been through and... Yeah, just to have made it through all that. It's just so crazy watching this film and reliving my whole life and just seeing it for myself. It's a lot to take in.
9:13 Lewis Howes? You were kind of like the the original influencer. Like before social media, you were really well known and famous, obviously. And then social media allowed you to kind of amplify it even more and kind of tell your own story. There are so many people today who grew up in social media. Now, everyone seems like they can be an influencer, right?
9:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:33 Lewis Howes? It was a lot harder when you were doing it back in the day. What did you learn about the first kind of 10 years pre-social media? About what that life is like? That you could give advice to people who are trying to build their personal brand and trying to build a name for themselves through social media today? What advice could you give from what you learned then?
9:54 Speaker 01 Well, I did all of this before social media. I had I had no publicist, I had no stylist, I didn't have any of the tools that people have today. And it's amazing when I meet just certain influencers or YouTubers or just people who are trying to be, you know, make their own brand. And all of them are always saying to me, like, I've looked up to you since I was a little kid and you're the reason I'm doing what I do and you've just inspired me so much. So that makes me just feel just so proud to have really created just a whole new, basically, genre of celebrity.
10:27 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
10:28 Speaker 01 And back when I started doing this, you know, being famous for famous wasn't, there was no one who had done it before. And now it's like a thing.
10:36 Lewis Howes? Everyone is doing it, yeah.
10:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:38 Lewis Howes? But you were able to really build a brand and a business. I think a lot of people don't know how smart you are in terms of like building a business and a brand. This has all been very strategic. It's not just, oh, let me do this for fun. You've had goals and dreams to back up kind of this influence. What do you think you're most proud of in terms of your branding and business sense?
10:59 Speaker 01 Well, I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur ever since I was a little girl. Just growing up in my family, it was a lot to live up to.
11:06 Lewis Howes? A lot of pressure.
11:06 Speaker 01 A lot of pressure, but amazing business mentors, my grandfather, my father. And also, I was just so sick of people saying, "The Hilton Hotel granddaughter." I wanted to be known as Paris. And after going through what I went through, I made a promise to myself that I'm gonna work so hard and become so successful that no one could ever control me or tell me what to do ever again. And what I'm most proud of, well, I have nineteen product lines. I just released my twenty-seventh fragrance.
11:35 Lewis Howes? Wow, twenty-seven?
11:36 Speaker 01 Yeah. So I'm really, just, I'm so proud of just the empire I built, especially my fragrances. And the numbers on that are just insane.
11:45 Lewis Howes? Does your business do better in the USA or is it more international now?
11:48 Speaker 01 Worldwide.
11:49 Lewis Howes? Worldwide. Does it do, or are you more well-known, becoming more well-known internationally in general? Or do you feel like you've kind of maxed out the US?
11:57 Speaker 01 I always have.
11:58 Lewis Howes? Really? You always have been bigger around the world than in USA?
12:00 Speaker 01 No, I started my career in Tokyo when I was a teenager. That was where I first built my brand. And it's amazing, just no matter where I go in the world, people just, they love it.
12:13 Lewis Howes? Does it ever get exhausting?
12:15 Speaker 01 Yes, very. But I'm so used to it. I've been doing it for so long that it just comes naturally. But it is overwhelming, especially, you know, just having to be on all the time.
12:28 Lewis Howes? How do you shut off?
12:29 Speaker 01 I don't. I do now, though. Before, I didn't. And I think it was just a distraction from having to think about things that have happened in my life. But now that I've worked through all that fully, I feel like I can finally turn it off and just be who I am, which is such a relief, because it's exhausting having to pretend to like be this like Barbie doll who has no brain all day long, when in the back of my mind, I know exactly what's happening. But also, it's good because I feel like so many people underestimated me. So I would really learn more about people because they would think I had no idea what was going on.
13:07 Lewis Howes? And you could show them, hey, I'm the boss, yeah.
13:10 Speaker 01 Yes.
13:10 Lewis Howes? What has been the biggest thing you've learned about yourself since you started this healing and opening up process in the last couple of years?
13:17 Speaker 01 I've just learned just how strong I am, how resilient I am. And I could literally make it through anything because I have been through hell and back. And I've lived so many lifetimes that I'm just, I'm proud of who I am today. Because I think anyone who has been through what I've been through, I don't know if they could have been okay.
13:39 Lewis Howes? Right. Well, I know you had the kind of a love hate relationship, maybe not love hate, but you had some challenges with your parents, obviously, because they sent you away. And you see some of that with your mom in the documentary. What's the biggest lesson you learned from your parents that actually helped you in your life today?
13:58 Speaker 01 Well, with my parents, I was obviously upset and it was very hard, but they had no idea what was happening because they were manipulated. But the best piece of advice that they ever gave me, my mom, the night before The Simple Life aired, said, "When this airs on Fox tomorrow, your life is going to change forever. And I want you to always remain the same sweet, down-to-earth girl you are and never let this fame get to your head and never change." And that's something I've always really kept close to my heart. And I've always remained the same person. I've never let it make me change or feel like, I don't know, I just always stay grounded. And I think that's important.
14:36 Lewis Howes? Have you ever got close to losing yourself in the fame? Or like, you know, over believing in the hype of what people think? Or have you always been able to find a sense of groundedness?
14:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, I've never let it get to my head. I've always been just, I've always remained the same. And I think that's important because I've seen a lot of people in this industry. And all of a sudden, they just think there's someone else. They forget where they came from and they start thinking they're better than people. And I just think that's just a really nasty part of just this whole celebrity world, like what it does to people.
15:09 Lewis Howes? What's your biggest fear around fame? Because I remember as a kid in the documentary, you're like, you know, I want to be, I want to have my own business. I want to be well-known. I want to be, you know, famous. I want people to know who I am. Now that you've become famous, what's the fear of having fame?
15:24 Speaker 01 My only fear I don't like is when people invent stories about me and lie. Because there's a lot of people who want to make money, so they'll literally sell stories that are just invented.
15:33 Lewis Howes? Lies. That's like every day for you, right? Like every day, there's some lie on some magazine about you or lots of famous people. So if that happens all the time, how do you deal with that?
15:43 Speaker 01 I have built a very tough skin. And now with this film, I am an open book. There is nothing to hide. I've said it all. So if somebody, you know, wants to say something, I've already told the truth. I have nothing to hide anymore. And yeah, I'm proud.
16:01 Lewis Howes? Looking back, would you change anything about what happened after being sent away? Or when you started to really build your fame, being on TV? Would you change anything about it? Or do you look back and say like it was all for a purpose for where you're at now?
16:16 Speaker 01 I think everything in life happens for a reason. And I wouldn't be the strong woman I am today if I had not went through these things. But yeah, I definitely have a lot of regrets in my life. And there's people in my life that I wish that I never let in.
16:29 Lewis Howes? Really?
16:30 Speaker 01 And yeah, I think just me being too open and naive and letting the wrong people into my life are my biggest regrets.
16:39 Lewis Howes? Yeah, your mom told you to stay like grounded, stay humble, stay sweet. And it's like you wore that to everyone, probably, letting a lot of people in. Too sweet, sometimes. So how do you learn to be yourself and loving and vulnerable, but also letting the right people in? How did you learn how to do that? Because you have, you have tons of computers from all your ex-boyfriends, I guess. Or like every time you got rid of a boyfriend, you got rid of your computer? There was like a hundred computers. So I was like, man, you're letting a lot of people in. How did you learn how to be more discerning?
17:11 Speaker 01 Okay, well, all the computers are not all boyfriends. Some of them were, but yeah, I had, I had to do that because it would just, it would get scary sometimes.
17:19 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
17:21 Speaker 01 But yeah, it's, it's been hard just to let anyone in ever. And my trust issues have been crazy. So it's good to finally be able to trust someone because I literally have not trusted anyone in my life before this.
17:35 Lewis Howes? What's your thoughts on? Mental health with like celebrities and influencers who are rising to fame quickly. Cause there's kids now who it seems like overnight, they'll put a TikTok video out, a hundred million views a week later, or they have 10,000 followers, three months later, 10 million followers. And it's almost like overnight. I don't know if that's how you felt when you got started. I feel like it was more gradual. And then it was like an explosion of just everyone knew who you were. But it's like, how do kids deal with this today of overnight fame in terms of mental health? And what's your thoughts on that?
18:11 Speaker 01 I cannot imagine being a teenage girl and having to deal with social media, the pressures of being perfect, worrying about, you know, how many likes you have, followers, and you have trolls writing mean comments. Like the pressure on teens right now, I can't even imagine.
18:31 Speaker 01 Like my heart goes out to them because I've been in this industry so long. I've built this tough skin and then these kids who are, this is all brand new to them. Like, I can't imagine what they're thinking. But I think my advice would be that there's much more important things in life and they shouldn't base their happiness or their self-worth based upon other people's opinions of them, especially strangers. So just to not put so much value on that because there's so much more to life than this.
19:02 Lewis Howes? Yeah. I feel like you learned that, you know, the hard way. It seems like over the last 15, 20 years, you really learned first kind of doing it for the approval, but then realizing it's not for that. It's for more of the business. It's for the brand. It's for like the desired result you want. How did you learn how to overcome the opinions of others? And do you still see some nasty comments and do they affect you at all? Or do they not affect you?
19:26 Speaker 01 I've learned just from dealing with it for so long and just some of the things that have been said about me are just so cruel and hurtful. And I used to cry all the time and be so upset. But then I just realized that. These people who are wasting their time obviously have no life and they're not happy with themselves. And that's why they choose to spend their time trying to tear down others. So I just feel bad for them.
19:52 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
19:52 Speaker 01 But obviously, I'm a human being. I have feelings, so it's always gonna hurt, no matter how strong you are.
19:58 Lewis Howes? Right.
19:59 Speaker 01 It hurts.
19:59 Lewis Howes? So for people that wanna build their personal brand and become more influencers or whatever, put out content that helps them be well-known, I guess, what are the dangers of that? The dangers are you're gonna get criticized no matter how nice you are and how good your content is. You're always gonna be criticized, right?
20:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's always going to be haters out there, but you just don't pay attention to them. Because I feel that if I would've listened to the haters, I wouldn't have been the successful woman I am today. So I think it's all about believing in yourself and only paying attention to the positive and just not letting that drag you down.
20:35 Lewis Howes? It's amazing because you've had such a long career at being successful. And there are some people that become famous or celebrities that become well-known for one thing, and then they don't get the next acting job, or they were a one-hit wonder and then they kind of fall off. But you've been able to maintain this level of growth and credibility in this industry. What has allowed you to continue to like rise the occasion every time it seems like someone's trying to take you down? Like, how do you keep saying, you know what, I'm not gonna let this take me down. I'm just gonna keep rising?
21:08 Speaker 01 I'm a warrior. I'm resilient. I'm strong and I just don't stop. And I think always just being an innovator and a pioneer and just always thinking one step ahead and just being innovative and creative and just always coming up with something new. And just having such an amazing relationship with my fans. My little Hiltons are literally like my little brothers and sisters. Like, they're like my family. So that relationship is so important and it's so important to really have that. And I feel so lucky because my fans are so loyal and I love them.
21:49 Lewis Howes? What's the greatest fear in this chapter of your life right now?
21:52 Speaker 01 The only thing I'm scared of is death because I don't know what happens after. So that just scares me because if there's nothing, that's gonna be so boring.
22:03 Lewis Howes? You want to have something, yeah. What would you say is your biggest insecurity at this stage of your life? Or the place you doubt yourself the most, even though you're pretty resilient now, but is there a place where you still feel a little self doubt?
22:17 Speaker 01 I think just going what I went through, they put so much doubt into my mind that even though I'm grown up now and I haven't been healing and working through it, that's always like in the back of my mind. I always just kind of have just, I don't know, just kind of flashbacks to that. So I just hate thinking about it.
22:38 Lewis Howes? How do you think about your thoughts? This is a little different question. I'm always thinking about what am I thinking in this moment? Am I thinking a negative thought? Or am I thinking something positive about myself? And I think it's really easy for us to get trapped in a negative mindset of saying, I'm not enough, or this didn't work, or I put out this piece of content and no one liked it. Do you think about your thoughts at all? In terms of are they negative or positive? Or how do you think about the way you think? If you understand what I mean?
23:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course. Yeah, I think anytime I do start doubting myself and thinking a negative thought, I tell myself, Paris, focus on the positive. Like, look what you've done, look what you've built. You should be so proud. Because I feel that so many times, like, we only focus on the negative and we don't look at all the amazing things that are happening in life. And that's why I always have to remind myself just to focus on all the beautiful things in my life.
23:35 Lewis Howes? What are you most proud of today?
23:38 Speaker 01 I'm so proud of the empire that I've built and how hard I've worked. And this film, like, this I feel is my legacy and the way I'm going to be remembered forever. And I'm just so proud that I was so brave and courageous to finally just tell everything.
23:59 Lewis Howes? I love that you mentioned being proud of yourself because I think a lot of people today, they go after their big goals and dreams and then it's never enough. Oh, I achieved it, but it's not what I wanted it to be. I need to go bigger. So I love that you're proud of the moments that you have. I think that's really important for people to understand. How does Paris Hilton take care of self-love? Like take care of self-care in general? You have so many things going on. You never wear the same outfit twice. You're running around with press. You were up late. You had insomnia for years. How do you take care of your self-love, your self-care?
24:35 Speaker 01 I just love being around my animals, my pets.
24:40 Lewis Howes? Aren't they so healing, animals?
24:41 Speaker 01 They're so healing. Like, I love animals more than people sometimes.
24:45 Lewis Howes? Yes.
24:48 Speaker 01 That just brings me so much love and I just feel so happy around my pets. And my boyfriend, of course. And making art and music and cooking.
24:59 Lewis Howes? Are you an artist too? Like paints or drawing or?
25:02 Speaker 01 I've been doing so much painting during quarantine. I never had time for it, but art has always been a huge part of my life. And now that I've had the time, I'm making these incredible paintings.
25:12 Lewis Howes? No way.
25:12 Speaker 01 Which we've auctioned off for charity.
25:13 Lewis Howes? No way, really? I want to see some after this. If you have photos, I want to see them.
25:17 Speaker 01 Yes.
25:18 Lewis Howes? You should have put them in the documentary.
25:19 Speaker 01 Well, it all happened. I started painting during quarantine.
25:22 Lewis Howes? Wow, that's exciting. I'll have to check that out. I'm curious about what you think is harder today? Building a brand and being well-known and building an audience or essentially getting famous? Or is it harder to stay famous? Because you've done both. You became famous and then you sustained it over a long time. And you still grow. What do you think is harder, getting there or staying there?
25:47 Speaker 01 Well, being the OG.
25:49 Lewis Howes? OG influencer.
25:51 Speaker 01 I've seen so many people come and go, like being in this town, like so many people.
25:58 Lewis Howes? Who have like a two years of fame and then have gone.
26:01 Speaker 01 Yes. So I would say for people who are coming out, it's very easy, not easy, but it's easier than it was before with all the social media platforms, to really build a business and a brand. But maintaining it, I think, is the hard part for people.
26:20 Lewis Howes? How have you maintained it over such a long time?
26:23 Speaker 01 Just by always being innovative, always coming out with new ideas and... Just always being entertaining and traveling the world and just being nonstop and just working nonstop. I am a workaholic. I do not stop ever.
26:37 Lewis Howes? You're a machine.
26:38 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
26:39 Lewis Howes? You love to travel so much, but this time you haven't been able to travel as much, is that right? Or you've still been traveling a little bit, but just not as much?
26:45 Speaker 01 Well, it used to be 250 days a year for two decades.
26:48 Lewis Howes? You're a machine.
26:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:49 Lewis Howes? But now you've had to take a break.
26:51 Speaker 01 This is the first time I've been forced to pause and be in one place.
26:54 Lewis Howes? What is that like? What's it been like?
26:56 Speaker 01 It's been like a really great time for reflection. Like, obviously, in the world, it's scary what's happening. Like, I'm praying this is over soon, but I try to see the silver lining. And that is I've finally been forced to stop and just really evaluate my entire life and really think about things and what's important to me. And I don't want to go back on that schedule ever again.
27:21 Lewis Howes? Really?
27:22 Speaker 01 It was just too much. I honestly was just distracting myself from having to think about what I went through. And now that I've finally talked about it and went through it, I feel like I can finally live my life and move on to the next phase of my life and grow up and start a family and just, I don't know, focus on the things that matter.
27:41 Lewis Howes? So you felt like you were running away from your trauma, the pain of the past, by working so hard and traveling because you didn't have to address it or face it?
27:48 Speaker 01 Yes.
27:48 Lewis Howes? But now you've faced it. What was the biggest fear that you had around opening up? Around people knowing this happened to you or showing your feelings?
27:57 Speaker 01 I just, I made a promise myself when I walked out of there. I was so grateful to be free and just to leave that. I wanted to leave it in my past and just pretend like it never happened. And I promised myself, Paris, do not ever tell anyone this story. Don't talk about it. It didn't happen, and that's just how I dealt with it.
28:17 Lewis Howes? Why do you think you made that promise to yourself? Was it to try to help you, protect you moving forward?
28:23 Speaker 01 That, and also they made you feel ashamed and... They manipulated me in there to not want to talk about it as well. Because they're terrified that they're going to be exposed.
28:36 Lewis Howes? Wow.
28:37 Speaker 01 And also, I just didn't want that as part of my story and my brand. I thought the whole brand was portraying this fantasy life. And that was just not part of the story.
28:48 Lewis Howes? Yeah, being kidnapped and tortured is not part of a.
28:52 Speaker 01 People wouldn't understand. And I didn't fully understand it until now when I'm an adult and actually looking back and realizing if I don't say something, I won't be able to sleep at night knowing this is still happening to children. And it's happening, there's thousands and thousands of children who are dealing with this right now.
29:10 Lewis Howes? Yeah. What do you feel like will unlock for you in your life now that you've started to open up and kind of process the healing journey? What do you think is available in the next step for you?
29:21 Speaker 01 I'm just really looking forward to the next phase of my life and using my voice to really make a difference and make a change. And I'm now in contact with Senator Sarah Gessler of Oregon. And she is passing legislation on the troubled teen industry. So I want to be there to support her and really shine light on this cause and really just focus my energy and my time into things that really matter. Because there's just, I just feel like I was given this gift and I want to use it in a positive way to change the world.
29:57 Lewis Howes? I wanted to imagine for a moment a scenario where your 16-year-old self is standing in front of you. It's the first day you're in that place, the school. What advice would you tell to your 16-year-old self now to help her grow up and live a better life? What advice would you give to her?
30:18 Speaker 01 I would say, Paris. This is going to be so hard and you're going to be terrified, but don't let this affect you. One day, you're going to be so successful and you're going to be so proud of yourself. And even though this is going to be really hard, it's going to make you so strong and just to stay strong. And also tell my younger self.
30:45 Speaker 01 Do not let certain people into your life. Don't be so nice, don't be so naive. Because people are gonna take advantage and there's a lot of people that don't have good intentions and don't let them into your life.
30:59 Lewis Howes? It's good wisdom.
31:00 Speaker 01 I wish I knew everything I know now. I could tell myself back then as a teenager.
31:05 Lewis Howes? Yeah. We all had to learn, you know?
31:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, we all live and learn.
31:09 Lewis Howes? We all live and learn and it seems like you've I feel like these stories could actually inspire your fans and audience more and gonna make your brand even more interesting. Do you feel like that's happening? The more you're opening up, people are actually connecting to you on a deeper level or?
31:23 Speaker 01 Yes, I've just been like the outpour of people writing me letters and getting sent just all these different messages. People just loving and supporting and I was so just nervous to tell this story and I see that it's affecting so many people and so many survivors are thanking me and I it's just been amazing, just the love and support. And even from people who before just are now apologizing to me and saying, "I'm so sorry for the way I ever spoke about you or the way I thought about you because you are so sweet and so strong and I was so wrong about you and I want to apologize." So it makes me happy just
32:07 Speaker 01 to have really changed people's minds about who I am.
32:09 Lewis Howes? That's cool. And your sister has been a big part of your life as well, obviously. And she's in the documentary, which I felt like she was giving you some tough love at different times, which I think was cool. What's the biggest lesson you've learned about life from your sister?
32:25 Speaker 01 I love my sister so much. She's my little sister, but I always looked up to her like my big sister.
32:29 Lewis Howes? Really?
32:30 Speaker 01 Yes, she's always been just the voice of reason, more mature, very strict. Like we've always been exact opposites. She's the only one who really tells me like it is and says the truth and is so protective of me and I don't know what I would do without my sister. I feel so blessed to have her. She is an incredible woman and so strong and just Just so smart and I don't know, without her, I don't know where I'd be.
32:57 Lewis Howes? That's cool. I want to bring it back to you saying you've met a lot of people in this industry over the last, you know, ten, fifteen years, where they've risen to fame, they've fallen out of fame. Do you ever compare yourself to other people who are building their followings with their brands? Or do you just focus in your lane and your business and what you're up to?
33:16 Speaker 01 I just focus on my business, but I love seeing people around me be successful. And I think that's so important in this industry because a lot of people, they don't root for everyone. And I think when you are rooting for everyone, you want the best from everyone, that comes back to you. Because karma is so, so real. And I feel whatever you put out into the world is going to come back to you. And that's why I always am just applauding everyone around me and wanting everyone to be successful and yeah.
33:45 Lewis Howes? When did you learn that kind of mindset of wanting to see other people succeed? Have you always been that way or is that something you learned the hard way or?
33:53 Speaker 01 I was just born with it.
33:54 Lewis Howes? Really?
33:54 Speaker 01 I just think it's something that either you learn or it just instilled in you.
33:59 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
33:59 Speaker 01 And I feel that's just the type of person I am. I think maybe because I'm an Aquarius and that's just like part of our horoscope is being that way.
34:06 Lewis Howes? That's cool.
34:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:08 Lewis Howes? Have you seen other people that compare themselves or try to put others down? And what does that do to them when you kind of see them talking bad about people when they succeed? Have you seen that at all?
34:18 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. I live in Hollywood. Come on. I see that all the time. Um, yeah, I see that a lot and um, I like I'll sit there, but I don't, I never reply because I can feel they're trying to bait me to see if I'll talk bad. But I'll be immediately turned off by the person. And I know as soon as I walk out of the room, they're probably going to be.
34:36 Lewis Howes? Talking about you, right?
34:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, because you can tell like when someone is doing that about someone, they're insecure, they're jealous. And that's the type of person they are. And if they're going to talk like that about someone else. They might do the same thing about you. That's just what I see.
34:51 Lewis Howes? What advice would you give to the younger generation who lives in this comparison, social media mode? How do they get to a place where you're at? Where they're not comparing with their friend? How many likes they get or the followers? How do they?
35:04 Speaker 01 I think people need to know that just focus on yourself. And there's room for everyone. This is a huge world and there's going to be people that are doing the same thing as you or in the same industry. And it's better just to spread love and collaborate together and do things together then.
35:22 Lewis Howes? I'm all about collaboration over competition. I feel like we can do more together than trying to do it all alone and on our own. That's why I interview people and try to put the light on everyone else. Where did that? It's such an abundance mindset you have. Where did that mindset? Did you see this from your family or friends? Like where did you see this growing up?
35:43 Speaker 01 It's just been a part of my life and I think my family and that's just the way we are. So I was raised to be that way.
35:50 Lewis Howes? Yeah. What do you think people misunderstand about you the most?
35:56 Speaker 01 There's so many just misconceptions, so many people just kind of underestimating me. And it's my fault. It's because what I put out into the world and you know, when you're playing this kind of airhead bubbly character, people are going to obviously assume that you have no idea what's going on. So I think that is like one of the biggest misconceptions. And another one also is because I come from a privileged family, people assume, oh, silver spoon, never had to work a day in her life, spoiled. But that's not true at all. I've been working since I was a teenager. I've done everything on my own.
36:39 Speaker 01 Nothing is handed to me and this is all me.
36:43 Lewis Howes? Do you feel like because you kind of came from a family that had more privilege than maybe others, you felt like you needed to work harder than everyone else to kind of prove that?
36:52 Speaker 01 I just saw, just in my life, so many of my friends that come from these families, they're handed everything, they never worked a day in their life, they live in their parents' guest house, they're getting allowance still and they're like full-on adults and they're just, they have no purpose, they're not happy and I just didn't want to be like that. I just, I love being independent and successful and that just brings me so much happiness. And when you have to work for something, it feels so much better than someone just giving it to you.
37:26 Lewis Howes? Right. And as you go into this next chapter of your life, do you feel like you'll continue to build this brand like it used to be? Or do you feel like it'll start to evolve into something else and showing more of yourself?
37:39 Speaker 01 Evolving.
37:40 Lewis Howes? It's evolving?
37:41 Speaker 01 In so many ways, yes. I'm gonna continue expanding and growing my empire all around the world, but I'm also gonna be focusing on a lot of different investment opportunities. I'm really investing into companies and entrepreneurs that really believe in sustainability and longevity and wellness and I'm gonna be doing just a lot of different projects in audio and real estate and tech and like, it's amazing having a boyfriend, Carter.
38:11 Lewis Howes? He's in this, yeah, he's in this world.
38:12 Speaker 01 So I learned so much from him and just every day, he just really inspires me to be the best businesswoman I can be and just coming up with just incredible ideas and they invest into just so many brilliant, they're just geniuses.
38:26 Lewis Howes? Very smart, yeah.
38:27 Speaker 01 So it's, it's amazing.
38:28 Lewis Howes? They're very smart guys.
38:29 Speaker 01 Oh my God, they're brilliant.
38:31 Lewis Howes? What about your personal brand? I know you're gonna be building your empire, but do you see yourself continuing on with the kind of character brand that you had in the past or does that go to a fall as well, your personal brand of yourself?
38:44 Speaker 01 It's...
38:45 Lewis Howes? People are so used to that brand.
38:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I think with this film, when people see, I want to continue being who I am for real and it's so freeing that I don't have to be that character anymore because now everyone knows the truth and I have nothing to hide anymore. So I'm just excited to really just... Do something with meaning. Cause I feel that my brand before was just so based on like superficiality and materialistic. And I don't know, just wasn't deep at all. And I am very deep.
39:18 Lewis Howes? Now you want it to be deep.
39:19 Speaker 01 Yeah. And I just, I want to really focus on things that matter. And I feel that I've really can make a difference and just use my voice to just make the planet a better place.
39:30 Lewis Howes? That's good. What would you say are three things that you need to do every single day that are non-negotiables? That are like, I need to do this in order for it to be a really good day for you.
39:40 Speaker 01 Well, I always start my day off with a kiss with Carter. Can't do a day without that.
39:46 Lewis Howes? That's good. Okay. So you start with love.
39:49 Speaker 01 Start with love. And then with my pets, my puppies, just hugging all of them. And they just, just bring me so much happiness.
39:57 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
39:58 Speaker 01 And then the third is just looking at all my business. Just I've, I wake up to like hundreds of emails a day. It's, it's so crazy. But I'm, you know, I think I always first think of love and then I think of work.
40:12 Lewis Howes? That's good. That's cool. I want to ask you a question I ask about your physical routine. How do you take care of your, your physical health? Cause you take care of your business, financial health, you take care of love health. But what about like physical? Do you have a routine that you do?
40:29 Speaker 01 I've never worked out in my life. No. So I'm not really into that, but I love just being outdoors. I love doing sports.
40:39 Lewis Howes? That's cool.
40:39 Speaker 01 I love going like jet skiing, water skiing.
40:44 Lewis Howes? Hiking.
40:44 Speaker 01 Like, yeah, I love all that, just being outdoors. I used to be on my high school ice hockey team. So a lot of people don't know, like I'm a huge tomboy.
40:53 Lewis Howes? High school ice hockey team?
40:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:55 Lewis Howes? For girls or guys?
40:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:57 Lewis Howes? Girls ice hockey team.
40:58 Speaker 01 Yes.
40:58 Lewis Howes? That's cool.
40:59 Speaker 01 I went to boarding school in Canterbury, which was in Connecticut. So I was playing.
41:05 Lewis Howes? Ice hockey. Were you offense, defense? What were you?
41:08 Speaker 01 Offense.
41:08 Lewis Howes? Offense. Did you score a lot?
41:09 Speaker 01 Yes.
41:10 Lewis Howes? Okay. Wow. So you're pretty athletic.
41:12 Speaker 01 Very.
41:13 Lewis Howes? So if we went to go play basketball, you'd be pretty good?
41:15 Speaker 01 Yes.
41:15 Lewis Howes? Really?
41:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:17 Lewis Howes? I think in the documentary, I love just seeing how as a kid, you were just wearing sweatpants all the time and like wanting to run around and be kind of goofy and playful.
41:24 Speaker 01 I've always been a tomboy at heart.
41:26 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
41:26 Speaker 01 The world doesn't know me that way.
41:28 Lewis Howes? Really? That's so funny. This is a question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths. Okay. So I want you to imagine for a moment, this is your last day on earth, many, many years from now. You're as old as you want to be. And you've built the business empire, you've got the love, the family, you've got a thousand dogs, whatever you want. You've got it all. But for whatever reason, every piece of content you've created, this interview and your social media, everything has to go with you to the next place. It's a hypothetical question. But you get to share three lessons you know about all of your experiences in life. And you would share this with the world. This is the only three things you could share about your life and the lessons you've learned. What would you say are three lessons that you'd want to share with the world?
42:13 Speaker 01 Three lessons?
42:14 Lewis Howes? Number one, what would it be?
42:16 Speaker 01 You can do anything you put your mind to.
42:18 Lewis Howes? Okay.
42:20 Speaker 01 Number two, family is everything.
42:24 Speaker 01 And number three, don't be boring.
42:27 Lewis Howes? Don't be boring. I like that.
42:29 Speaker 01 Yes.
42:30 Lewis Howes? What happens when we live a boring life?
42:32 Speaker 01 It's not fun.
42:34 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
42:34 Speaker 01 I think it's just fun just to not take life so seriously and enjoy it because life is so short. And just to be happy and focus on the good.
42:44 Lewis Howes? Yeah. What do you want to look back at and think of what you're the most proud of? It's the end of your life, many, many years, what do you want to be most proud of, most known for and be proud of?
42:55 Speaker 01 Just for the inspiration I am, the businesswoman. And also the mother.
43:00 Lewis Howes? Ooh, you want to be a mother?
43:02 Speaker 01 Yes.
43:02 Lewis Howes? I saw you like, you froze your eggs in the documentary, right?
43:06 Speaker 01 Yes.
43:07 Lewis Howes? Okay, so you really want to be a mother?
43:08 Speaker 01 Yes, by next year.
43:10 Lewis Howes? Really? Wow, that's inspiring.
43:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, I can't wait. I want to be the best mom.
43:15 Lewis Howes? What's the lesson you want to teach Minnie Paris?
43:20 Speaker 01 I'm going to name her London.
43:21 Lewis Howes? Okay, Minnie London. What's the, what's the thing you want her to know about life growing up? I'm assuming it's going to be her, I don't know, but.
43:29 Speaker 01 Yes, I just want just to be there for her, be so supportive. Just be honest with her, let her know everything and make her feel comfortable that she could tell me anything. And I hope that she doesn't want to be an influencer. Hoping she's like a nerd who like wants to be a doctor or a lawyer or something that's not in this industry.
43:52 Lewis Howes? Why do you hope that?
43:53 Speaker 01 Because I've lived it.
43:55 Lewis Howes? Your mom hoped you didn't want to do this either.
43:56 Speaker 01 Now I get what my mom said. I totally understand what she meant now.
44:00 Lewis Howes? Really?
44:01 Speaker 01 It's just not like a place for people to be. Just this industry is so hard. And there's just so many bad people that when I have my little girl, like I'm not gonna want her to be a part of it. But if she wants to be, then I'm not gonna like hold her back, but.
44:18 Lewis Howes? Is there anything about your, your, your mom that you appreciate now, looking back through all this? Even though you went through a lot of traumatic stuff, obviously, is there anything you appreciate? Knowing that's, that's what you'd want for your child?
44:30 Speaker 01 My mom is amazing and I feel that I now completely understand what she meant when she said I couldn't be a model or an actress and she didn't want me in this industry at all and I didn't understand why and I was so upset with her and totally rebelled and just did what I wanted to do. But now I can completely understand like what she means because I would be terrified too. Like I do not want my daughter doing this.
44:55 Lewis Howes? What if your daughter's, you know, 13 or 12 and she's on social media and then she wants to go live the life you lived? She wants to be like you. What are you gonna tell her?
45:04 Speaker 01 I will just tell her to focus like on the business part of my brand. And God knows what social media is gonna be like.
45:11 Lewis Howes? It's crazy, right?
45:12 Speaker 01 14 years from now, my God. It's gonna be like VR, like it would be like this thing.
45:17 Lewis Howes? Sanity.
45:18 Speaker 01 I can't even imagine like with the advances in technology. Especially like during COVID, I feel that like the innovation like in the next three years is going to be more than we would have ever had if possible. It's like.
45:30 Lewis Howes? Do you feel like if you're? Telling her not to do something that she'll fall in your footsteps and do the opposite of what you tell her to do because that's kind of what you did with your parents.
45:40 Speaker 01 Probably. I think that's why I'm gonna show her this documentary. And then I feel that she'll understand me so much and I feel that it's a really great life lesson for any teenager just to watch this film and just really learn. I don't know, I feel like I lived so much. Maybe so that other people could learn from it.
45:59 Lewis Howes? Yeah, I think everyone, especially who has a business or a brand or a following or wants to build a following should watch this documentary. It's called This is Paris. It's on your YouTube channel. It's on YouTube for free right now.
46:13 Speaker 01 Yes.
46:14 Lewis Howes? And it's on your specific channel, right? So youtube.com/ParisHilton. If you guys go there, it's right on the homepage right now. It's fascinating. It shows the entire life that you've had. It shows the ups and downs. It shows, again, if you want to get in this industry, you may want to think again or you may want to make sure you're just aware of what's gonna happen or what could happen in this industry. So make sure you guys check that out. You are everywhere on social media. Obviously, are you mostly on Instagram right now as the main drug of choice?
46:46 Speaker 01 All of them.
46:47 Lewis Howes? Everything.
46:47 Speaker 01 Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook.
46:51 Lewis Howes? You're on the TikTok. I gotta get on TikTok with you there.
46:53 Speaker 01 I love TikTok.
46:55 Lewis Howes? So TikTok, is that number one right now for you or all of them equally?
46:58 Speaker 01 All of them. But I love TikTok. It's fun.
47:01 Lewis Howes? I'm getting more on there. Paris Hilton everywhere. You've got a million businesses. Where can we learn about your businesses?
47:08 Speaker 01 Go to ParisHilton.com.
47:10 Lewis Howes? It's got all your brands up there.
47:11 Speaker 01 All the brands, all the businesses. Yes.
47:14 Lewis Howes? And what's one question you wish more people would ask you? Close friends, fans, interviewers like me. What's something you wish more people would ask you?
47:25 Speaker 01 I've been asked everything. I've done a million interviews. I think a question that I think is cute that I like, that's interesting that I've been asked before, just not in an interview, just like my friends have asked me and I was like, that's like a cute question.
47:37 Lewis Howes? What's that?
47:38 Speaker 01 It's like, what is your spirit animal? I just love that question.
47:41 Lewis Howes? What is your spirit animal?
47:42 Speaker 01 Unicorn.
47:43 Lewis Howes? Oh, yeah, it is. I'm surprised you don't have like a little unicorn coming out of your...
47:49 Speaker 01 It's invisible.
47:49 Lewis Howes? It's invisible. What color is it? Is it gold? Is it a rainbow?
47:53 Speaker 01 Rainbow.
47:53 Lewis Howes? Rainbow?
47:54 Speaker 01 Hmm.
47:54 Lewis Howes? Okay, that's exciting. Are you unicorn for Halloween a lot?
47:58 Speaker 01 I've been once, yeah.
47:59 Lewis Howes? You've been once? That's amazing. Okay, Paris, you are, you're an inspiration to so many people. I'm very grateful that you've decided to open up on this documentary and during this time together. I'm so grateful for your authenticity, for your, your big heart. I know you've got a massive heart. And I've heard stories from Courtney and other people that we've mutual friends with just about how you're just a real person, always open with your friends and family. So I appreciate and acknowledge you for opening up at this stage of your life because it can be very scary to reveal something we're shameful about. I did this, talking about sexual abuse about seven years ago, opening up, and it was extremely hard to do. Because I felt like if people notice about me, they're not, my business is going to suffer.
48:43 Lewis Howes? I'm not going to have any friends. My family's not going to be there for me. So I understand how challenging it can be to open up. And I really acknowledge you for, for doing the work and for, it's going to be a healing process for many years, but I acknowledge you for starting the process for yourself. It's really inspiring. This is my final question. So what is your definition of greatness?
49:05 Speaker 01 My definition of greatness is achieving what you set your mind to, having people respect you, and inspiring others.
49:15 Lewis Howes? Paris Hilton, thank you so much for coming on. Appreciate it.
49:17 Speaker 01 Thank you. You're so awesome. I really enjoyed this and so much respect for you.
49:21 Lewis Howes? Thank you.
49:22 Speaker 01 And you're amazing.
49:23 Lewis Howes? I appreciate it.
49:24 Speaker 01 Thank you. This was so much fun.
49:26 Lewis Howes? Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope you enjoyed hearing Paris truly start to open up and share some of her vulnerabilities. If this inspired you in any way, make sure to share this with a friend. You can copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this episode, or go to lewishouse.com/1012 and share that with a few friends. Text some friends, post it on social media, and make sure to tag Paris Hilton as well, so she knows that you're listening. And as always, if this is your first time here, please click that subscribe button over on Apple Podcasts and leave us a rating and review. We'd love to hear your thoughts about this episode or any of our episodes, and how we can continue to inspire greatness
50:06 Lewis Howes? together. And if you want inspirational messages sent to you via text from me every single week, then make sure to text me the word PODCAST right now to the number 614-350-3960. And I want to leave you with a quote from Selena Gomez, who says, "If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken." And I want to remind anyone listening today who has gone through some dark things from the past, I'm telling you, you are not alone. We've all gone through different challenges, and it's okay. But I'm telling you, you have the power to start opening up about it. And I highly recommend finding someone you trust, finding a therapist, or finding a consultant
50:46 Lewis Howes? who can truly help you share this in a safe environment. And as always, I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. I'm so grateful for you, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.
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