Fraud Friday: The Con with the “Cure” for Cancer w/ Caleb Hearon

Comedian Caleb Hearon (Jurassic World Dominion) returns to discuss Norman Baker, a vaudevillian, business-owner, and radio-show host in the 1800’s who claimed to have a cure for cancer. Plus, a Hong Kong student has been arrested after participating in an elaborate kidnapping to scam her parents out of ransom money. Stay schemin’! (Originally Released 10/24/2022) Signed copies of Laci's book are back in stock on Podswag: https://www.podswag.com/collections/scam-goddess/products/signed-scam-goddess-lessons-from-a-life-of-cons-grifts-and-schemes Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Caleb Hearon: @calebsaysthings Research by Kaelyn Brandt. SOURCES: https://www.scmp.com/yp/discover/news/hong-kong/article/3194630/student-arrested-hong-kong-role-fake-kidnapping-scam https://fsuspecialcollections.wordpress.com/2022/06/01/norman-baker-and-the-naked-truth/ https://historycollection.com/norman-baker-man-claimed-cure-cancer/ https://encyclopediaofarkansas.net/entries/norman-baker-4885/ https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/charlatan-ozarks-still-looms-over-haunted-crescent-hotel-180973743/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

  That sound? That's pro squash. Some of the fastest rallies in sport played inches from the crowd. The National Squash League is back in full swing for season four. The sport is heading to the 2028 Olympics for the first time, and you can see it up close right now in a city near you. Watch every match for free on YouTube. Search National Squash League and hit subscribe or follow live updates on Instagram at NSL.Sport.

• 0:58Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays, where we release older episodes from the Scam Goddess vault. That's right, Fraud Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes from behind the paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind the paywall, and as always, stay schemin'.

• 1:40Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with another installment of your favorite podcast about robbery, fraud, and all those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. Let's get on the ride. As always, I'm very, yes, excited, extremely elated for today's guest. We have a hilarious comedian, writer, actor, Twitter celebrity at CalebSaysThings. If you're not following him on Twitter, then like, how are you getting your yucks for the day? Because my guy is putting out the yuck yucks. You can check out his writing on Netflix's upcoming animated series, Human Resources, a spinoff of Big Mouth, which I love, love, love, love that show so much. He was in Variety's Top 10 Comics to Watch in 2020, and he is a returning homie of the show.

• 2:25Laci Mosley?

  Congregation, please welcome Caleb Hearon.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  Ah, I'm back.

• 2:29Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I love that energy that.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  I broke in, I broke into the building. They said, you can't come in. I said, I'm doing the pod, let me in.

• 2:36Laci Mosley?

  He kicked down the doors.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  I kicked down the doors.

• 2:38Laci Mosley?

  Yes, security is currently banging outside, but we're going to do the episode. And then they're going to escort him away.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  I wa- I walk past all the windows where you can see the white people in flannels doing podcasts, radio shows, whatever's going on over there.

• 2:49Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Let's go.

• 2:50Laci Mosley?

  A white requirement. Well, not for us. We don't have to wear flannels, but for them, you know, they gotta let you know that they're really a podcaster in whatever way. Than a flannel. Well, Kayla, we always ask on this show, what is your relationship with scams? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Any new scams in your life? Any old ones you can talk about and the government won't come knocking?

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Well, last time I was on here, I, I think I caused mayhem by saying I'm unscamable. I said, I'm not.

• 3:15Laci Mosley?

  Do they try after that?

• 3:16Speaker 03

  I'm not able to be scam- well, here's the thing. I, I almost got scammed recently.

• 3:19Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Yes, this, there is a scam that gay men run on dating apps, okay? Well, they might not even be gay men. They're just running it on gay male dating apps. Where they'll be like, hey, I really wanna hook up with you. They'll have all these pictures. It'll, it'll be like catfish proof. You think like, this person is not catfishing me.

• 3:33Laci Mosley?

  I really wanna have sex with you. Look at all these real photos of me.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  All these real photos of me. They're on my profile. I got a name and everything.

• 3:39Laci Mosley?

  Holding today's newspaper.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Look, and holding up, you tell me to hold up, I'll hold it up. There, it's real. And then, and then they'll be like, I really wanna come over, but I, I need, I need you to Venmo me some gas money.

• 3:50Laci Mosley?

  I've heard about this one.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  And I was like, I, I had a long conversation with this guy. He was like, asked me where I'm from. I'm like, asking what he, we're like, really? I kinda got to know him. And then he was like, I need gas money. And I was like, oh, they got me.

• 4:02Laci Mosley?

  Look, gas is high. Gas is high. And also, my mother always said, pussy don't deliver. Bussy don't deliver either, okay? Not for free, not for free. This ain't Postmates. You gotta pay for this.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  I will always Uber someone to me, but I'm never sending money. I'll send you a, I'll send you a car.

• 4:18Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  But I'm not sending money, please.

• 4:19Laci Mosley?

  That's classy.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  I see, I'm a gentleman.

• 4:22Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Also, like, how dare you try to get on the sex app, uh, or, you know, people hook up app, and people date on there. A lot of people, like, find their partners on Grindr and Tinder, which always surprises me.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:32Laci Mosley?

  But, like, how you gonna get on that app and then be like, I don't got money to go nowhere?

• 4:36Speaker 03

  You go down here.

• 4:37Laci Mosley?

  Like, this the app for going places, like.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  That's how you know it's a scam. That's how you know.

• 4:41Laci Mosley?

  How much did they want for gas money?

• 4:42Speaker 03

  They didn't even get that far. They said, I need, they said, I really wanna go over, I need some gas. As soon as I read gas, block. I was like, absolutely. I was like, absolutely not I, not me.

• 4:51Laci Mosley?

  Damn, you was gonna give them a little Chevron with Tech Run?

• 4:53Speaker 03

  No!

• 4:54Laci Mosley?

  You could've Googled the prices and you know how far away they are, right? Did it say like five miles? You could've give them exactly five miles worth of gas.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  No, I'm not, uh-uh, ever, never. Scam, that's a scam. I see it, but I'm unscamable. Once I see, I smell it, yeah, I'm out.

• 5:07Laci Mosley?

  Yes, and look, I love that for you. I like to take a little bit of a ride sometimes. Like, I know it's a scam, but I'm like, what y'all doing over here? Like, I'm just curious. I'm a voyeur. Let's do a little bit to me, not too much. But I, I like that. I like that a lot for you. That you're still, you're still unscamable then?

• 5:21Speaker 03

  I'm unscamable. I'll never be scammed.

• 5:23Laci Mosley?

  I love that for, that's the confidence.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Every time I see an old person getting their pension drained, I'm like, you fool. I would never be me.

• 5:29Laci Mosley?

  Um, please, guys, call your grandparents.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Call your grandparents. They're not, they're, they're in danger.

• 5:34Laci Mosley?

  Just for selfish reasons. If you want some of them coins, like, that could be a birthday check for you. Like, why you letting me, Ma, and them get robbed?

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. You need to keep it for yourself.

• 5:42Laci Mosley?

  Right. Think about that.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Think about you, for once.

• 5:45Laci Mosley?

  If you don't love your grandparents enough to just call them to chat, you know, at least think about your investment dwindling away.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 5:51Laci Mosley?

  Okay? And they the last one with money when they die, cuz the rest of us is gonna be like, it's gonna be a bill.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:00Laci Mosley?

  They gonna be like, oh, you her cousin? Okay, well, she owed. Oh, I have actually never met her in my life.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  I know this bitch at all.

• 6:05Laci Mosley?

  No, why, why, why did I show up in all black here? Where am I? Who am I? Just like, we've...

• 6:10Speaker 03

  I thought this was somebody else's birthday party. I gotta get out of here. Nevermind.

• 6:12Laci Mosley?

  It says here you're doing the Yul G. Miss Mosley. No, no, no, no, I don't know. Lacy? No, that's not me.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  No, I'm Lucy, my bad.

• 6:18Laci Mosley?

  Right. I just be wearing morning clothes like everywhere. I love black.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  I'm from New York.

• 6:22Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's all. It's a funeral home, a funeral license? Oh, yeah, no, I'm in the wrong spot. I'm in, I thought this was a Wendy's.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  I thought I was doing a Wendy's.

• 6:30Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Oh, did you see, hey, by the way, Wendy's has a strawberry, uh, Frosty now.

• 6:36Laci Mosley?

  Ooh, wait, is it of milk or is it like a...

• 6:39Speaker 03

  It's whatever they're doing with the chocolate and vanilla. They're doing now with strawberry. New.

• 6:44Laci Mosley?

  Something new to dip our fries into.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  It's new. You gotta check it out.

• 6:46Laci Mosley?

  Okay, listen, Wendy's be having... Don't sleep on Wendy's, okay? And, um...

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Please don't.

• 6:51Laci Mosley?

  They don't sponsor the show, but if they did, mm-mm, bitch.

• 6:58Laci Mosley?

  If it ain't cooked by a lil redhead, I don't want it.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  This is what you could have if you pay Lacey.

• 7:03Laci Mosley?

  Right. Y'all get on that sponsorship, okay? I really sell it for y'all. Four for four, okay? But let's take a quick break for some non-scam advertisements. We'll be right back with what's hot and fraud. Scams!

• 7:18Speaker 04

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• 7:51Speaker 01

  That sound? That's the National Squash League. Pro teams, the world's best players, in rallies so fast you'll forget to breathe. Season four is in full swing, and every match streams free on YouTube. Big hits, bigger rivalries, and a front row seat from wherever you are. Watch every match for free on YouTube. Search National Squash League and hit subscribe or follow live updates on Instagram at NSL.Sport.

• 8:19Laci Mosley?

  Cunts! And we are back with the unflappable, unscamable Caleb Perry. And we are in what's hot and fraud. This is where we read your letters and get some warnings about popping scams in the zeitgeist and on the streets. Or scams that you've run yourself. As always, snitch on your friends and family and your enemies at [email protected]. Just make sure your scam is retired, because we don't want to what? Yes, fuck up your bag. All right, Caleb, I need a fake name for this person. We don't care about gender.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Uh, Jolene.

• 8:47Laci Mosley?

  Jolene?

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Jolene.

• 8:48Laci Mosley?

  Jolene. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene! The baddest bitch.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  We should start a band. That was kinda hot. That was not nothing.

• 8:57Laci Mosley?

  That was not, that was something. It was a little bit of something, okay? It was giving something. Listen, the baddest bitch out there, Jolene. I'm surprised there's not more women named Jolene after Dolly Parton made that song up, because you know you a bad bitch with Dolly Parton calling you like, "Please don't take my money."

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Leave my man alone.

• 9:13Laci Mosley?

  Because you can. We all know you can, bitch.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  I'd leave him for you. I know he'd leave me for you.

• 9:20Laci Mosley?

  Are you interested in women, Jolene? We can all be together. I'm just saying, share him with me a little bit. Like, let me get Tuesdays and Sundays with my man, and you can have him for the rest, because you deserve. Jolene was a bad bitch. That's how you know you're a bad bitch. She wasn't even coming. She said, I gotta come to her as a woman, like, Jolene.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Woman to woman, on the track.

• 9:39Laci Mosley?

  There's so many sexy men out here, Jolene. You can have them all. Just let me have mine.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  You couldn't pay me a billion dollars to write a song about how someone's able to take my man. There's no way. I would never write a song being like, I know you can do it.

• 9:52Laci Mosley?

  We're not getting this out of you in court.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  No. You couldn't torture the CIA at Guantanamo Bay, couldn't get that information out of me.

• 9:58Laci Mosley?

  It's just waterboard, you like, who is the bad bitch?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  It's just me.

• 10:02Laci Mosley?

  Right, it's just me.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  There's no one.

• 10:03Laci Mosley?

  I'm the baddest bitch.

• 10:06Laci Mosley?

  We're gonna be here all night. Oh, Lord. Now, I feel like, listen, sometimes you gotta make some bargains and some compromises. You gotta know where you at in life, okay? Jolene definitely got a BBL. You know what I mean?

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Get out of here.

• 10:18Laci Mosley?

  Jolene's eyelashes always done, okay?

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Everyone's getting rid of their BBLs.

• 10:21Laci Mosley?

  They are.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  No more BBLs, no more, no more fake tits.

• 10:24Laci Mosley?

  The scammers that were going back into heroin chic.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  We're getting back to thin. Horrible for me.

• 10:28Laci Mosley?

  Horrible for me, too. If y'all think I'm about to put the top of my pussy out of some jeans, y'all are surely mistaken. I would never buy a low rise ever again. I suffered. I struggled.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  We've been through it.

• 10:38Laci Mosley?

  Okay, Britney Spears was popping when I was a kid. All we, we, we was all out here with the top of our little coochie out. I ain't doing it. I'm not going back.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  No more. And you were a cheerleader.

• 10:46Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  I know you were into Britney.

• 10:47Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Oh, I love, I stan, I stan Brit.

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:50Laci Mosley?

  Uh, she's an icon, but no, never again.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Never again. We can't go back.

• 10:55Laci Mosley?

  But they trying to make us go back. The TikTok girlies, even Kim K, she's, she's looking, she's looking quite thin.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  She looking slender. They're going back to it. And it's bad, it's always been, fat's never been in, but at least there was, we were closer when people were like, I like fat parts.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  That was, that was close.

• 11:10Laci Mosley?

  We were moving the needle towards.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  There was a direction, yeah.

• 11:13Laci Mosley?

  Right, we did ass, we did titties, thighs were in, it's like, okay, now give us stomachs and arms. We were so close to stomachs and arms.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  If big stomachs and arms come in, everyone's done for, except for me.

• 11:24Laci Mosley?

  Woo, listen, I, I feel bad for the scam of people thinking that body types are trendy because to me, like, and I'm happy that I'm insulated in blackness in this way of like, I never felt weird or bad about being thick. I never really wanted to be like, super thin. And then when thick was like, in because white women were doing it, it was like, oh, okay, cute, y'all, welcome to the party, but we've been chilling over here. We've been good over here. So Mixalot has held us down in the community, okay? I like big butts, I cannot lie, we was fine.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:53Laci Mosley?

  But now, like, I just feel bad for young people or anybody who thinks that your body should be a trend, cuz that's weird.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Well, it's also inherently limited. So whatever you got going on, whatever's natural to you, if it's in for now, it won't be in later. So it's like, that is a scam.

• 12:06Laci Mosley?

  Right. Like, if you're wearing a choker, or like, oh, we're wearing flannels, or, oh, you know, high-rise denim, or whatever's in, you can take that on and off your body, but if you gotta go to a surgeon and be like, hey, this is the new, can I show you this vogue?

• 12:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 12:18Laci Mosley?

  Page four, they said this is the body for fall.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Also, y'all do not have money like that.

• 12:22Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Normal people do not have money like this to be doing surgeries on and off, doing this, that, and the other thing. It's like, you just gotta go with what you got.

• 12:28Laci Mosley?

  Yo, we gotta pray for Dr. Miami. What's his sales go- did you see his tweet where when the hurricanes were happening, he was like, y'all come get y'all BBLs for the hurricane hit?

• 12:39Speaker 03

  Well, I will tell you, uh, we are recording this the day after the Chiefs just beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers badly. And I'm feeling bad for them cuz they got the hurricane going on and they're getting stomped in the ga- I'm like, it's really tough in Florida right now.

• 12:50Laci Mosley?

  Everything, the elements.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  The BBL surgeon is on the run.

• 12:54Laci Mosley?

  Right, football, everything.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  It's bad out there.

• 12:56Laci Mosley?

  It is. Not to say that Florida does not deserve whatever is going on, because Florida is a mess.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  Ron DeSantis, you deserve some trouble.

• 13:06Laci Mosley?

  Him and Greg Abbott, I'm from Texas, and I'm like, if we don't get rid of Greg Abbott, bitch ass, I don't know what to do, like.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  I will beat the hell out of Greg Abbott.

• 13:14Laci Mosley?

  It's time to fight him.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  If I ever see Greg Abbott, it's on, I don't care.

• 13:17Laci Mosley?

  It's time to fight him.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  Every time I go to Texas, I try to run into him. Cause I'll fight him. I mean it.

• 13:24Laci Mosley?

  As you should. He deserves to ass whoop it.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  I'm not worried about his situation. I will fight Greg Abbott.

• 13:28Laci Mosley?

  These hands are E for everyone, okay? Equal opportunity beat down, cause that bitch deserved. I can't believe him. The unmitigated god of that man. Bitch.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  To be that ugly. To be that ugly and that evil.

• 13:39Laci Mosley?

  Inside and out.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  You gotta pick.

• 13:41Laci Mosley?

  Or at least just tell us you evil and like really like step it up. Like I want a naked cat that you stroking all the time. I wish you would put your PK up to your face talking about one million dollars. Like be, like stop trying to.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  I'm gonna control the world.

• 13:53Laci Mosley?

  Right. Women, you don't have rights. Yeah, he's, he's.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Well, he is doing that part.

• 13:58Laci Mosley?

  He is doing that part. And very well. He's, and when it comes to evil demons, look, he's up there. Bizzle Bob is like, Greg Abbott, Greg Abbott, Greg Abbott, please don't take my job.

• 14:14Laci Mosley?

  Cause the devil's like, I work hard, but woo, get a break.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Woo!

• 14:18Laci Mosley?

  Shit. He's shooting in the gym.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  He's, it's the offseason work. It's the offseason work.

• 14:23Laci Mosley?

  Say it's like chill Greg, you got, you coming to hell. You got a ticket. You don't even have to work this hard. We have a spot for you. We got parking and everything Greg. You in hell. It's cool. You don't even gotta do nothing else. But alright, so Jolene. Jolene says, hi to my favorite ear friend. What's up Jolene? Love our, love our symbiote or parasocial relationship. So, this is a scam that I fell into and just couldn't stop. I make it a habit to go to the 24 hour grocery store late as I hate waiting in lines and the general mayhem of the grocery store at rush hour. So Jolene, I'm gonna stop you up top first because the first sentence is giving me scammer. Not you, you fell into, listen, I fell into a crime. I tripped.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  I tripped and accidentally backed into a little bit of a criminal enterprise.

• 15:09Laci Mosley?

  Oops, wire fraud. Oh, I can't get up.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  I hate that I did this for years.

• 15:13Laci Mosley?

  It was a, but it was an accident, you know.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:16Laci Mosley?

  You know how accidents happen.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  I accidentally bought my third home from it. I accidentally got a boat.

• 15:20Laci Mosley?

  Truly a mistake. Oh my gosh. I came, I went into the boat store and I was like, here's money. And they was like, here's a boat. It was wild.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  How did this happen? I woke up with a boat.

• 15:29Laci Mosley?

  I woke up with a boat. Y'all know how y'all be waking up. With a boat. So Jolene says, I have nothing more than fresh flowers on my dining room table. Classy. Okay, keeping them fresh. One night, I was a little out of it. You was a little out of it, Jolene.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  Jolene.

• 15:44Laci Mosley?

  Get to the scam. You a trip to fail. You a little out of it, out of it.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  I awoke, I awoke in a haze.

• 15:50Laci Mosley?

  With just money around me.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  And I was five years into a bank robbery scheme.

• 15:54Laci Mosley?

  Safes just open everywhere. Y'all know how y'all be, y'all have amnesia, robbery amnesia. So one night I was a little out of it and did not put my flowers down on the conveyor belt. Okay, but rather held them in my arms as I paid. I got to the car and realized that I had not paid for the flowers. Hmm, score.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Now, thi- this better get way more interesting very soon. Cause if it turns out that she's stealing a bundle of flowers every week, I'm like, unimpressed.

• 16:24Laci Mosley?

  Okay, see, Kayla, I'm not judging you, Jolene. I, I like this so far. So since I noticed that, I love the flowers even a little more when they were free. That's.

• 16:33Speaker 03

  Oh, bitch.

• 16:34Laci Mosley?

  Things do be hitting different when they're free, okay?

• 16:36Speaker 03

  In her defense, it's different. It is different.

• 16:38Laci Mosley?

  Different. You ever have some free food? Blessing.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:41Laci Mosley?

  Just tastes different than food you paid for.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  One topping pizza from a pizza from an office pizza party hits so different.

• 16:46Laci Mosley?

  You ain't wrong. Cheese pizza, and I'm not even cheese bitch. I'm a pepperoni pineapple jalapeno. I don't care. Y'all can fight me out there in the streets.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Altogether, you doing those?

• 16:54Laci Mosley?

  It's a culinary delight, okay? The citrus from the pineapple, the savoriness from the pepperoni, the spice from the jalapeno.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  I'm actually surprised, I would eat that slice. I would try that.

• 17:04Laci Mosley?

  Thin crust, yes, I love it. But, so I, I understand when it's free is for me and it hits, it hits a little harder and a little better. She said, they smell sweeter, bloom more beautifully. I began to do a sociology experiment, the branding on this theft.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  This, yeah, I was gonna say, bitch, I hope you work in marketing, cause you have a gift.

• 17:24Laci Mosley?

  Right. I've never seen a scam rebranded so many times.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  She said, I fell into this love for the flowers.

• 17:30Laci Mosley?

  I tripped and fell into theft and then, um, it was a sociology experiment as well.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  Right, because I'm a scientist. I'm a social scientist. So I had to check it out and see, just for like, human nature and like, humans good.

• 17:42Laci Mosley?

  Some scientists research COVID vaccines. I research how theft of flowers.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  I researched what would happen if I saved $10 every time I went to the store.

• 17:52Laci Mosley?

  It's going great, okay? So, Jolene did said, "Which sounds better than stealing?" in parentheses, which yes, it's cute. He was doing an experiment. Okay, scientist Jolene. So, scientist Jolene says, "Here are my findings." Okay, we got findings. "The later you go to the store, the less the employees care and pay attention." Amen. I love a quiet quit. "Also, women would always spot the flowers and charge me, whereas men would not." "The powers of middle age and visibility in my favor." Oh, Jolene, don't say that you was stealing the flowers because you wasn't a baddie. I don't think it's that. I think that men cashiers, in my experience, I'm not saying this to all of y'all. You out there ringing up shit and doing great, but like, I won't lie, I do discriminate a little bit when I go to the grocery store.

• 18:35Laci Mosley?

  Like, if I see a woman, I'm going to, even if the woman's line is longer, I'm going to her line before I go to the man's checkout line. And almost always, I get out faster.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:46Laci Mosley?

  Because like, women in grocery store be like, "Boop, boop, boop, boop."

• 18:49Speaker 03

  Scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop. It's like, they're throwing the shit down the thing.

• 18:53Laci Mosley?

  Right, give me your ID. Boop, boop, paper, plastic, hurry up, bitch. Like, they're about that action where the man be like, "Hey, what's up? It's Tuesday. How much them apples cost? Did they tell you over there? Let me mosey on back and check." Like, it's just like a very lackadaisical energy.

• 19:05Speaker 03

  Also, she really is a, she's a genius writer because she's framed this whole thing so beautifully. And then just when I think I'm not on her side anymore, she says, "And by the way, I'm completely undesirable."

• 19:18Laci Mosley?

  That's what got you back.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  I'm like, okay, well, that's sad as hell. I would steal too if nobody's looking at me at the grocery store.

• 19:24Laci Mosley?

  I feel like she's probably not undesir- you know how people just be talking about themselves, you know? Like, an older woman did say this to me once, when I think I got catcalled and we were out together. They were like, "Well, one day, you know, they gonna stop yelling."

• 19:41Speaker 03

  You'll miss, you're gonna miss this.

• 19:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's creepy and uncomfortable right now, but when they stop completely.

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:49Laci Mosley?

  You'll be like, wait a minute, why did nobody call me a sexy bitch and ask me to lift up my skirt?

• 19:55Speaker 03

  That honestly, I don't get, I don't ever get scared by like being in a city. I always get scared when I'm out in the middle of the country at night. It's the quiet that scares me. That's what they're talking about. They're like, when it gets quiet, that's when you know it's over.

• 20:05Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, no, yeah, you're right about that. I do like the noise. So, uh, Jolie noticed that the men were not checking for the flowers. If I could, I would always pick the line with the male employee. I got bold, holding sometimes two dozens of bright orange or yellow roses. Nothing.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  Orange, orange roses.

• 20:23Laci Mosley?

  I know.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Oof, still better.

• 20:25Laci Mosley?

  Is that in nature?

• 20:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 20:27Laci Mosley?

  And they cook them up. It's given, uh, Nickelodeon.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  They cooked it. They cooked those in the lab. That's not.

• 20:33Laci Mosley?

  We got a new flavor of flower. It's called Orange Burst. It's a rose.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  These are Fanta oranges. What the hell?

• 20:39Laci Mosley?

  There are some orange roses that be busting, cause I, my friend actually has some orange roses right now on her dining room table and they're like light orange and then the tops of them are like this kind of burgundy red.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  And they're beautiful.

• 20:50Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's like the, it's like the flower got highlights, like the flower got a BBL. And Dr. Miami was like, we do flowers too.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  We do flowers now.

• 20:57Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we've gotten into buying it. You want some, some flowers with some fat asses? We got them for you, okay? Just get here before the hurricane. Or during, just as long as we can open the door, we'll, we'll get you in.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Okay, so she's stealing.

• 21:09Laci Mosley?

  So she's stealing dozens. Dozens and dozens, okay? Flowers is busting. It got so ridiculous that I had fresh flowers every week, like you said, Caleb. I eventually, after a few years, let's be real, told the trusted friend about my scam and they gently pointed out that I was stealing. Moratti bus kill. I know, that's why, get rid of your friend, get rid of her, okay? That's if y'all was on the way to brunch, you had to stop the car on I-95 and be like, get out.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  Definitely get rid of the friend, but also what do you mean pointed out? You weren't aware? You were, you were like, oh, I have this great deal at the, at the store where I pick the weak looking cashiers and walk out without paying. It's like, yeah babe.

• 21:43Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Stealing.

• 21:45Laci Mosley?

  But I love that for you. The flowers is gonna die anyway. Like, somebody might as well give them a good home. You were just rehoming the flowers, adopting them.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  You know what makes a big difference in this story as well? And I don't know if we know or not. Is it a corporate grocery store or a small-time grocery store?

• 21:58Laci Mosley?

  It's gotta be corporate because it's 24 hours. Ain't no mom and pop grocery store.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  Fuck 'em.

• 22:02Laci Mosley?

  They open 24 hours, that means they working, they employees whore.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Rob 'em blind. Rob 'em blind.

• 22:07Laci Mosley?

  Steal everything.

• 22:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 22:08Laci Mosley?

  Okay? You're making stocking less eas- or easier for them, like, yeah, just theft.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Get it out of there.

• 22:13Laci Mosley?

  I'm on board. I'm fully on board. I have since changed my ways and now have artificial roses on my table to curb my bad habit. I can't promise that I will never test my theory again, but God bless unobservant men. If they won't buy me flowers, please allow me to gift myself, Jolene.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  She's a queen.

• 22:33Laci Mosley?

  She's a queen.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  She's a queen, there's no way around it.

• 22:35Laci Mosley?

  An icon, the moment. And, and I love that you had to, like, take yourself to flower theft rehab and get some fake flowers so that you could stop your itch.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm actually gonna say, artificial flowers cannot be the answer here. Let's just buy some normal flowers. Leave the ugly artificial ones off the table. Just buy the flowers, I think you're okay.

• 22:53Laci Mosley?

  Or just keep stealing from the grocery store. It's not like you weren't purchasing things. You was ringing something up in the cashier line. You weren't just walking out with the flowers. I feel like this is a net positive. Grocery stores are marking shit up anyway.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  They also count for, they account for it. That every, every big retail chain accounts for a certain amount of stuff being stolen every year. We need to steal from them.

• 23:08Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's called shrink, okay? And that's, at least that's the retail official term. It's called shrink. So they account for people thieving, and, you know, we don't wanna fuck up the budget, y'all. We want them to hit their quarterly, so y'all gotta like...

• 23:20Speaker 03

  We gotta, we have to steal from these places, it's actually moral.

• 23:22Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we, it's not even because we want to, it's like, people could lose their jobs.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:26Laci Mosley?

  What if, what if the store doesn't need a security guard anymore because there's no thefts? That's a layoff.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:32Laci Mosley?

  I'm just trying to keep people employed.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  We're job creators.

• 23:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  When we steal.

• 23:35Laci Mosley?

  Scientists, job creators.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:37Laci Mosley?

  You know?

• 23:38Speaker 03

  Feminists, there was a, a thread of feminism in there.

• 23:40Laci Mosley?

  There was a thread of feminism in there as well.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  A big one, yeah.

• 23:42Laci Mosley?

  This is iconic. Write the book, Jolene, write the book, okay?

• 23:46Speaker 03

  Why not?

• 23:46Laci Mosley?

  You're talking about, you know, men and, and how they ignore women and, and their needs. You know, it's powerful stuff in here.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  She said, "If men won't buy me flowers, I have the right to steal them." That's a book.

• 23:55Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  That's a book.

• 23:56Laci Mosley?

  I will buy that book. That sounds empowering.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:59Laci Mosley?

  You know, for, for women in, in whatever stage in their life, men as well, anybody, non-binary icons. We could all get into this book.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Non-binary people are stealing.

• 24:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they are.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  I know, I know most of them, and I'll tell you, they're stealing.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  They're stealing.

• 24:14Laci Mosley?

  It's usually hair color.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're stealing hair color and then they're doing the cut themselves and it shows. I'm telling you, these people are stealing and I love it. Those are my friends.

• 24:22Laci Mosley?

  You had a tweet about a non-binary party not too long ago.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  I said, I said, "This event is non-binary people only and don't try to sneak in. We will be checking haircuts."

• 24:30Laci Mosley?

  At the doe.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  At the door.

• 24:32Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  I know, I know a non-binary people. When I see a they/them, I'm like, "That haircut is they/them." I see it.

• 24:36Laci Mosley?

  Right, and we will know it.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, I know.

• 24:40Laci Mosley?

  I love that for us. So guys, we're gonna take a quick break for some non-scam advertisements. We'll be right back with historic hoodwinks. Robbery!

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• 25:21Speaker 01

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• 25:49Laci Mosley?

  And fraud! And we are back and it's time for historic hoodwinks. This is where I will regale Caleb with the famous con-caper group of criminals. We'll see if we like him, we'll see if we hate him, get his opinions all throughout. Today, we're talking about Norman Baker. Norman Baker was a vaudevillean business owner and radio show host who claimed to have a cure for cancer. The charlatan of the Ozarks, that's in quotes, that's what they were calling him. Ozarks, watch out, Jason Bateman, you could never, that was already the charlatan of the Ozarks.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Wait, did y'all pick this for me special? I'm from, I went to college in the Ozarks. Did you know that?

• 26:24Laci Mosley?

  I did, I did know that. No, I didn't know that, but look at that.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Hey, look at this!

• 26:28Laci Mosley?

  We're gonna say I did.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Look at this!

• 26:29Laci Mosley?

  Look at me, a journalist.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 26:33Laci Mosley?

  So, this is perfect. So, the charlatan of the Ozarks created a career with a personality that capitalized off people's fear and shock. Sounds like the Republican Party.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  Right, literally. Would be president right now.

• 26:43Laci Mosley?

  Right, could be. So Norman's early life. Norman Baker was born on November 27th in 1882. So, probably not the Ozarks that you knew in college.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  Oh, it's the same one. It's the same one. Things don't change down there.

• 26:57Laci Mosley?

  What you mean? No, it's the exact same Ozarks.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  It was the exact same two.

• 27:00Laci Mosley?

  Uh, he was born in Muscatine, Iowa. Okay. He was the youngest of ten children. Ten? Oh, your parents was fucking. Oh my god, ten children.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  They used to do it like that back then.

• 27:11Laci Mosley?

  Couldn't, mm-mm, not ten.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  Not ten. I'm thinking three.

• 27:14Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, and then after that, they'll be like, so where, so where you going after this?

• 27:21Laci Mosley?

  I'm gonna have a baby and be like, okay, the nearest fire station.

• 27:28Laci Mosley?

  Okay, cuz ten, ten is too many. That's too many kids. But now I guess you have a small army of employees though, cuz you know, in the 1800s, they was definitely putting them babies in the coal mine or wherever.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were definitely down there, uh, coughing up soot, getting stuff done, milking the cows.

• 27:41Laci Mosley?

  I saw a viral tweet. I wish I knew who it was by, but it was like, you know, all the kids were banned from doing the coal mines in like 1920, and now they're all playing Roblox, and it was like the children yearn for the mines.

• 27:52Laci Mosley?

  They wanna go back to the mines. Okay, so Norman left school at the age of 16 and began working as a machinist. I don't know what that is. He traveled from town to town working as a die and tool maker. Okay, this is him. He looked like he had coin, cuz...

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, he looks nice and, he looks nice and rich.

• 28:11Laci Mosley?

  Look at this photo. This is giving like, he probably had to pose for that, and then the homie was like underneath the sheet.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, they're behind the blanket with the big ass, like.

• 28:20Laci Mosley?

  But he posing though, he was like, I hate I had to do it to him.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  It's not personal, it's just business, y'all. I'm sorry, I look so good.

• 28:28Laci Mosley?

  It's me, Norman. He got spectacles on his eyes. They had, they had eyeglasses.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  He looks like a combination of Walt Disney and Colonel Sanders.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  That's what he looks like.

• 28:38Laci Mosley?

  And I love this for him. What a look, okay. One day, Norman's life changed forever when he witnessed a mental suggestion performance by Professor Flint. Note, this was similar to the mentalist show where people pretend to be mind readers and communicate with spirits and hypnotize people, etc.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 28:55Laci Mosley?

  So he ran into Criss Angel of the 1800s and was like, wait a minute.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  I'm still not.

• 29:00Laci Mosley?

  Right, so inspired, Norman produced his own traveling show starring a medium named Madame Pearl Tangly. Okay, when the original Madame Pearl actress quit, so he had employed a woman to be the bad bitch. So we're looking at a flyer right now, it's giving old. It says Madame Pearl, I guess Madame was MME, they had a short for it.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:24Laci Mosley?

  And it says, "Complete instructions in mentalism with a revised list of dreams." And then it's got another photo of her just being a bad bitch. The price is 25 cents for you to learn mentalism.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  I would not be going to this.

• 29:39Laci Mosley?

  I would, it's the 1800s bitch, what else are we doing?

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Well, probably dying at 32 of like cholera.

• 29:45Laci Mosley?

  Right, we doing Tiffoi?

• 29:47Speaker 03

  I don't know, I don't know what happened back then.

• 29:48Laci Mosley?

  Shit, in between the Tiffoi, I'm gonna get in here and see what the mentalist talking about, this is entertainment. Have you ever done a, like, have you ever had a hypnotist, like, tried to do hypnotizing on you?

• 29:58Speaker 03

  No, but you know what I did two nights ago in LA, I went to a, I went to a charity event, I'm very charitable.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Fellas, hit me up.

• 30:07Laci Mosley?

  I'm very charitable.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  Philanthropic, fellas. Um, and they had a magician there and he, he memorized every zip code in the United States.

• 30:17Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  He started asking people, "Tell me your zip code," and then someone would say like, "Oh, 90028," or whatever. And he'd be like, "Washington Heights, Maryland," and he knew every single one.

• 30:25Laci Mosley?

  Is that magic?

• 30:26Speaker 03

  I was like, "That's not magic, this is autism." That's like, the ability to memorize like that is absolutely not magic.

• 30:34Laci Mosley?

  It's a beautiful mind, for sure.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Beautiful mind that I'm jealous of, but like, it's not magical.

• 30:39Laci Mosley?

  And like, how you, how do you, what's the, you know, punchlines for magic are like, "The flowers," or "Is this your card?" Or they pulled a coin out your ear, when you guess where they from, you like throw some glitter in the air or something, like, "You're from Provost, Utah." Like, what's the magic part of it?

• 30:55Speaker 03

  It wasn't magic at all, and people were freaking out for it, and I was like, he's just, he memorized the list.

• 31:00Laci Mosley?

  He was like, "What's your area code, 214?" DFW Metroplex.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  There was music and it was, I will say it was a good time.

• 31:10Laci Mosley?

  Listen.

• 31:10Speaker 03

  Despite myself.

• 31:11Laci Mosley?

  He did his job. I once went to, um, in colleges, they like to have, um, you know, events for like the freshmen and for, you know, just like student morale events. Cause you were part of a scam going to college. You paying thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars for a degree that probably you're not gonna get your money back on. Um, so they gotta keep it spicy. They're like, yeah, you paying thousands, but look, we got a magician at popcorn tonight. So, okay.

• 31:33Speaker 03

  Come on over.

• 31:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you gonna be a crippling debt for the rest of your life, but get into this popcorn bitch. We got butter too.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:39Laci Mosley?

  And, um, I remember we had a magician and I went on stage and if you didn't pretend that you were getting hypnotized, he would kick you offstage. That's how they kept people on and with the scam. So I was up there like, ooh.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  I know you're not gonna lose stage time. Exactly. I know, I know Lacy'll do whatever it takes to stay on that stage.

• 31:55Laci Mosley?

  Whatever it takes. They're like, you're a cat. I was like, meow. I was like, friskies, friskies.

• 32:04Laci Mosley?

  Started looking at my hand, bitch. I want this stage time. Literally no payment, nothing else. Just.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  I'll do whatever it takes to be up here.

• 32:10Laci Mosley?

  To be seen.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  I got so mad when I was in college. They had a, what you're talking about where they were like, it's a scam. I'm paying you thousands and thousands of dollars. They had a Coke machine in the student union where if you gave it a hug, it gave you a free Coke. I was like, that's it. I've had enough. Give me my money back.

• 32:23Laci Mosley?

  What? And I still gotta work for the Coke? I gotta, I gotta give my, my hug?

• 32:27Speaker 03

  I had to hug the machine? It was crazy. It was truly crazy. And if you didn't hug it tight enough, it wouldn't give you the Coke. I was like, this is fucking crazy. Give me my money.

• 32:35Laci Mosley?

  You also had to do it right.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. You had to like give it love. It was like really new.

• 32:38Laci Mosley?

  That feels, I don't wanna have to like do foreplay with a machine to get a Coca-Cola.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  It was really scary.

• 32:44Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. This is, the capitalism's gone too far.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  I had sex that's worse than Coca-Cola though, I will say.

• 32:49Laci Mosley?

  Haven't we all? And I added in a Mexican Coke, definitely has sex worse than a Coca-Cola.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  What is it about those bottles of Coke that is just so, it's heroin.

• 32:59Laci Mosley?

  And they like, it stays like harder longer. Um.

• 33:07Laci Mosley?

  That Mexican Coke be on that extends. Cause you put that motherfucker in the fridge, the next day you still be like.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  When I pop the cap on one of those things, I'm like, I'm dancing in my chair like fucking Pooh Bear.

• 33:18Laci Mosley?

  Oh, right. You see the little...

• 33:18Speaker 03

  I'm excited.

• 33:19Laci Mosley?

  It's jizzing up the little air bubbles out the little... Tickling your nose. That's an experience, okay?

• 33:26Speaker 03

  We gotta cut Lacey's mic. Y'all, somebody do something. She said that the coke is jizzing.

• 33:30Laci Mosley?

  I'm like, woo. Yeah. That's the only thing I want on my face. Anyway.

• 33:38Laci Mosley?

  So, the original, um, madam who was helping, um, Norman out with the scam, she quit. She said, "I have enough of this. I'm out." She was replaced by a woman named Teresa Pender, who a year later became Norman's wife.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  Uh-oh.

• 33:50Laci Mosley?

  Uh, I love her. He was like, "I got a job for you, bad bitch." Also, "Would you like to be my wife in a time where women have nothing and can own zero things?"

• 33:59Speaker 03

  And you need to work for me? This sounds like a horrible deal for her.

• 34:02Laci Mosley?

  You're trying to be my maid with sex.

• 34:05Laci Mosley?

  So Norman continued to run his show successfully for several years before he invented the tangly air calypso. And we have a video. A portable organ run by air pressure that could be heard for a quarter of a mile. So this is like the original, like, uh, bass speakers. He was like...

• 34:22Speaker 03

  He had these in the front yard for the cookout.

• 34:24Laci Mosley?

  Right. You know, the girls were coming. They were like, "Where that sound coming from? They having a... They having a function. Look at this thing."

• 34:35Laci Mosley?

  That sounds terrifying.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. Not quality at all.

• 34:39Laci Mosley?

  Oh, goodness. Oh, turn it off.

• 34:41Speaker 03

  Sorry to him.

• 34:42Laci Mosley?

  It's giving Pennywise.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 34:44Laci Mosley?

  It's like, that's definitely what happens right before the mer- the clown at the circus murders you. Like, that sound is...

• 34:49Speaker 03

  That's what you hear when you see your sailboat has gone down the drain and you're about to go look for it.

• 34:53Laci Mosley?

  Right. But the- but in the 1800s, I guess they was throwing ass to this. Like, this was a bop.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  They were in the club.

• 35:00Laci Mosley?

  They were in the club, okay?

• 35:01Speaker 03

  They were backing it up.

• 35:05Laci Mosley?

  You can get some trucks off on that. You could definitely, it could be a moment. So in 1915, he quit touring and returned to muscatine to manufacture his invention full time. That same year, he divorced Teresa. Damn.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  Damn, it's like that. It's like that, though.

• 35:20Laci Mosley?

  Teresa was your bottom, but she was holding you down, being a fake medium, and then you just gonna get rid of her as soon as your, uh, your fucking twerk piano pops?

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Once the piano pops, it's over.

• 35:31Laci Mosley?

  Damn.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  People are expendable. You gotta remember this.

• 35:33Laci Mosley?

  Damn. In addition to his incredibly successful manufacturing business, Norman ran a corresponding art school and created pamphlets for aspiring illusionists and mediums. So he was like, I got the school of scams.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  This man was empty inside. He has too many businesses to be well. I know this man was not, this man was not healthy.

• 35:52Laci Mosley?

  Right. He leaving his wife all willy-nilly. Yeah, things were, things were wild. So in 1925, Norman had another change of career when he convinced the muscatine chamber of commerce to build a radio station for his radio show, K T N T, Know the Naked Truths. So now he was like, let me get into propaganda radio.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, this man has a, a, an insatiable hunger for, for, uh, business.

• 36:17Laci Mosley?

  Right. It's giving chaotic evil.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  It's absolutely chaos. And like I said, he looks like, and y'all gotta look his picture up, he looks like Colonel Sanders mixed with Walt Disney. That's an evil look. That's an evil look.

• 36:27Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that look says, I love money. It's giving Mr. Krabs.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  He looks, he looks like.

• 36:34Laci Mosley?

  Money, money, money, money, money.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  You remember in Get Out when they showed the video of the grandpa who invented the procedure?

• 36:38Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  That's what this man is giving me.

• 36:40Laci Mosley?

  Oh, he does look like he would have invented a procedure like that.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  He's giving very, a very malevolent white guy energy. Get him out of here.

• 36:47Laci Mosley?

  So, right. Norman promised to use his show to popularize muscatine across the world, positioning himself as a hero for muscatine small business owners as well as its rural community of farmers and laborers. So he was like, I'm gonna put muscatine on the map, okay? We about to be the new New York City, okay, bitch? Like, muscatine, okay? The bitches will live. So they gonna make a song, and muscatine.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Muscatine.

• 37:13Laci Mosley?

  What? They ain't got no concrete jungle. What is, what is it? Dirt paved roads?

• 37:17Speaker 03

  My dreams are made of.

• 37:22Laci Mosley?

  Truly nothing you can't do. Also, there's nothing to do.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  There's nothing to do, except for start a bunch of businesses.

• 37:27Laci Mosley?

  Right. So though it was only licensed at 500 watts, which affects how far the radio signal could be sent, the station was often at 10,000 watts, making it a national radio station. So you might turn on the AM/FM and get Norman in your ear, that new flavor. So Norman's show offered a platform for his homespun, uneducated, and spontaneous commentary about many subjects, including TB testing, President Hoover, health matters, and the farmer's plight.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  I know he was anti-vax.

• 37:58Laci Mosley?

  Oh, for sure.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  I know he was anti-vax.

• 37:59Laci Mosley?

  Right. It's giving like, if you get the vaccine, your balls swell up and then your wife or your fiance leaves you at the altar.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  This also, the parallels to Donald Trump are truly insane, right? Like, he's like this like shifty, rich businessman who has like multiple wives, and he's making a new venture off of telling farmers their plight. It's like, this is...

• 38:23Laci Mosley?

  And he ain't never worked on nobody's farm.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  No, this is one to one.

• 38:25Laci Mosley?

  No, he has no O's, okay?

• 38:27Speaker 03

  This is crazy.

• 38:28Laci Mosley?

  He also used to sell his products, and Norman became very wealthy. Duh. We saw his photo, we knew he became wealthy. It was giving wealth. Though initially, the show attracted many listeners, Norman began to alienate people after increasing often anti-Semitic and anti-Catholic character assassinations against individuals and organizations that he disagreed with. So people were like, "Oh, this is kind of a bop. He's right." Like, farming is hard, you know?

• 38:52Speaker 03

  I wonder what he thinks about Jewish people. And then they found out and they were like, "You know what? Ooh, it's not looking good. It's not looking good."

• 39:00Laci Mosley?

  It's not looking good. We're gonna have to turn that off.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  That's how it always goes.

• 39:04Laci Mosley?

  Right. You enjoy something and then, that's how I feel like it always goes for like viral white people at times. Like, I remember the Texas bee lady. I was like, "Oh, I'm into these bees." And then, and then there's always a little part of my brain that's like, "They probably racist."

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 39:18Laci Mosley?

  I see a cute little white boy, he's like giving out lollipops for people in need, and I'm like, "They probably racist."

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Every time. And it's also like, somebody who has like kind of a funny perspective... They get famous on the internet or something now and then within three weeks they're like here's why there's only two genders. And you're like alright, well that's that, we had fun while we lasted.

• 39:37Laci Mosley?

  Man, that's how I feel about J K Rowling because bro. When I found out she became like a not a billionaire anymore because she was you know giving away money and being philanthropic. And she talked about how she was on the British like welfare system or like social programs and how helpful they were to her and how she loves paying taxes. I was like an icon, a bad bitch. She did all this shit. And then for some reason she just came out one day and was like, trans people aren't people. And I was like, where's this coming from, J K?

• 40:01Speaker 03

  Also for a bitch who was like homeless and wrote Harry Potter on the back of like a McDonald's sack. For her to be like, the biggest problem is trans people. I'm like, you have lost it.

• 40:09Laci Mosley?

  Right. Also bitch, didn't you come out and tell us Dumbledore was gay? Like which is it sis?

• 40:13Speaker 03

  Well, she did have also the Jewish banker character in Harry Potter. You remember those? Those were really, that was some Walt Disney like fucked up.

• 40:19Laci Mosley?

  Had known then, we probably should have had known. But also it's so weird to me to be a make believe ass bitch. And then come out and say that very real people don't have identities. It's like, but you made a whole world where it was muggles. And and people riding on brooms and and and doing all this wild shit and and niggas gotta talk a hat, but you don't believe that trans people exist?

• 40:38Speaker 03

  You got the kind of fucked up mind that can dream up Dobby, the house elf, but you can't imagine somebody was born as a woman in a man's butt. It's like, what's going on?

• 40:45Laci Mosley?

  What's going on sis? Your imagination is confusing us. In some ways it's unlimited and in other ways extremely limited to tangible, very real things.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  Also, here's what else I'm gonna say. Even if that's how you feel.

• 41:02Laci Mosley?

  To tell nobody about this.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  That's for, you invite people over for dinner, you have them sign an N D A, you tell them at dinner at your house.

• 41:08Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, at your salon. Then you have your your conversations about, you know, invalidating people's human rights. But you don't have to get on the internet and talk about that. Since nobody asked you, nobody was like, trans rights, what does J K Rowling think?

• 41:18Speaker 03

  Don't do it.

• 41:19Laci Mosley?

  Let's get her on the mic. Nobody asked you for this.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  If I make, if I make a billion dollars, you will never hear from me again. Never ever, ever, ever will I sound off on the issues.

• 41:28Laci Mosley?

  No, no photos. You ain't gonna see me taking the private jet two minutes away.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  I'm not dressing up as.

• 41:33Laci Mosley?

  For ice cream.

• 41:33Speaker 03

  I'm not dressing up as anything for Halloween.

• 41:35Laci Mosley?

  Nope.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  I'm not doing any, I'm not even gonna tell y'all a song that I like.

• 41:39Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  I'm off the grid. I'm at my place.

• 41:42Laci Mosley?

  You ain't getting no opinions from me, honey.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  No, I'm hanging out.

• 41:45Laci Mosley?

  Whatsoever.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  I would be taking that private jet for ice cream, though.

• 41:48Laci Mosley?

  Right, and then we'll be on it together. We ain't gotta tell nobody.

• 41:50Speaker 03

  I'm not telling anybody.

• 41:51Laci Mosley?

  Okay?

• 41:51Speaker 03

  I will say, when they started dragging Taylor for using the private jet, I was like, y'all don't even wanna see what I would do with a private jet.

• 41:56Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 41:57Speaker 03

  I take my car to 7-Eleven and it's a block away, okay?

• 42:02Laci Mosley?

  Caleb pulled up to the comedy show in a private jet. We were like, where do we park this?

• 42:06Speaker 03

  I'm pulling up to the Yard Theater in a PJ. You better believe it. I'm parking it on the roof.

• 42:10Laci Mosley?

  He parked it on the roof. No, he's parked, no, he's on Santa Monica. No, it's a whole jet.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  I'm at Largo in a helicopter. Believe it.

• 42:17Laci Mosley?

  He said, he said, they said after 7:00 you can park on the street, so that's where he put the jet.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  That's where he put it.

• 42:21Laci Mosley?

  What you mean? So, among those was the Ameri- okay, so, he's doing all this fuckery and stuff, Norman, and among the, one of the places that he disagreed with was the American Medical Association. So, whatever the Medical, uh, Medical Association was doing, Norman was not fucking with it.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Vaccines.

• 42:38Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  I know it.

• 42:39Laci Mosley?

  So Norman has a cure for cancer. In 1930, Norman claimed that he had obtained a cure for cancer from Dr. Ozias, or Ozias. Uh, he paid for five volunteers with cancer to subject themselves to the treatment at the, at his expense, and published the findings of the study in his tabloid companion to the KTNT radio station. Unfortunately, um, and look at this, so this is the TNT flyer. He has some good flyers for the time.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  His graphic designer is doing what needs to be done. I will say that.

• 43:09Laci Mosley?

  It's giving like Photoshop, it's giving InDesign, like what kinda, who, what kinda printing press are you fucking with? Cause this is the future.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  I would almost get this tattooed on me. This is cute.

• 43:19Laci Mosley?

  Right, so it says TNT, the flyer, we'll post it on Instagram, it says The Naked Truth. Um, this is an InBaker publication, in all caps, or in larger font, it says, "Cancer is Curable. Cures Positively Being Made While Medical Trust Refuses Recognition Because It Affords Them No Financial Gain." reprint from December, January, February, March, April issues of TNT Magazine. Uh, if you want to read TNT Magazine, it's just $2 yearly. It's the voice of the public, AKA Norman, who's calling himself the public.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  Also.

• 43:49Laci Mosley?

  How you gonna be one voice talking about you the voice of the public? I feel like you gotta be more than one voice.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Can at least be a cohort, a collective.

• 43:55Laci Mosley?

  Right, you might have some writers, an editor, you can't be the public and it's just you.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  Also, don't you miss when crazy people talked like the Constitution?

• 44:01Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Now crazy people sound so stupid, but back then crazy people talked like that. He said it affords them no gain.

• 44:06Laci Mosley?

  And he got some bars here because he's not wrong about like medical, the medical industry making a lot of money off not curing things and giving you a pill that gives you side effects that you have to take another pill for. And even when they kill people with these pills, like the cost of paying off some families who have died because of this medication is way cheaper than taking the medication off the market. So, and that's just a fact of today.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  Norman called Big Pharma big time.

• 44:29Laci Mosley?

  He did.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  And he's right.

• 44:30Laci Mosley?

  But, but here's how he was wrong, his five volunteers, uh, they all died.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  Well, so he was small pharma.

• 44:36Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  As it turns out, and that's not.

• 44:37Laci Mosley?

  And this is unfortunate because like, I'm sure, especially during these times where like, we have a lot more research, we have a lot more, you know, um, technology now, but obviously there's still incurable types of cancer. Cancer is still a very fatal, you know, disease, but so these people are putting their life in this man's hands, you know, thinking that he might have a cure to something that at the time and still is not really curable. I feel bad for these people because who knows if they might've lived longer if they hadn't have done his experimental treatments.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  I would've gotten scammed all the time in the 1900s. I would've definitely let a man with a fancy flyer kill me. Like I, I wouldn't have known any better. I needed to, I needed to see a bunch of people get scammed on the internet for me to learn.

• 45:14Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Without that, I would've been killed.

• 45:15Laci Mosley?

  And this is from the unflappable, you say you're not getting scared, but you think in the 1930s?

• 45:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh yeah, back in the day, a guy on the street could've been like, take this medicine and I would've done it and died.

• 45:24Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 45:27Laci Mosley?

  Immediately on the street, right after the sip.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  I know for sure. I take, I take, I take one sip out of a little vial. I kill over and die, for sure.

• 45:35Laci Mosley?

  And we're like, it was worth it. Like on the way out. Tell my story. So the cure's formula turned out to be a concoction of alcohol, glycerin, carbolic acid, mixed with a tea brewed from watermelon seeds, brown corn silk and clover leaves. So just anything.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, he just said whatever's in the pantry.

• 45:54Laci Mosley?

  Right. This is gonna do it. Still, Norman marched onward and despite lacking any training or authority whatsoever, that same year he opened the Baker Institute at Muscatine for the treatment of cancer sufferers.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  He killed five, now see, I would not have been the sixth person. I'll tell you that. I would not have been the sixth patient to die under Norman's care.

• 46:13Laci Mosley?

  And also talk about failing up. Like he did an experiment, everybody died and he was like, let's open a institution. And everybody was like, yes, why not? What?

• 46:22Speaker 03

  And even, or even, we, even in the little write-up, it says he marched on. He didn't let this hold him back. He's marching on.

• 46:28Laci Mosley?

  I feel like this should have held him back.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, take it to heart.

• 46:31Laci Mosley?

  Yes. So though locals quickly caught on, Norman's national radio show continued to bring cancer patients from all over the country to his hospital. Mind you, he has no medical training, just vibes.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, just vibes and a radio station.

• 46:44Laci Mosley?

  He would later employ Harry Hoxsey, one of the nation's leading proponents of unapproved cancer treatments. So he was like, who else is crazy as hell? Uh, let's get them into the business. So this is Harry. Harry is giving unwell. He's also giving rich.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Harry looks like a, a cartoon dog who plays a sheriff on a, on a cartoon show.

• 47:03Laci Mosley?

  He really does. And look at all that pomade in his hair. He was like, y'all go listen to me about health, cause I got pomade.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. Also, to be the leading expert in unapproved cancer treatments is like, I'm not trying to hang out with that guy.

• 47:15Laci Mosley?

  Though, right? If it's unapproved, I could be the leading expert in some shit that nobody is telling me I'm the leader in.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  And we might be.

• 47:21Laci Mosley?

  Right. I think we are. If it's unapproved.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  Me and Lacey have the cure for cancer.

• 47:25Laci Mosley?

  It's unapproved.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  It's unapproved.

• 47:27Laci Mosley?

  And we are leaders in the field.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  And it's a lot of vibes.

• 47:29Laci Mosley?

  Right. Like, what? So the Baker Institute became financially very successful and earned over four hundred forty-four thousand dollars, around eight million dollars. In today's money in nineteen thirty alone, so he's just grifting people who have a disease. And obviously not a lot of access to, you know, medical care. They heard him on the radio and were like, let's go to the radio guy.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:50Laci Mosley?

  Which I don't blame them for at all. This is just fucked that you're like continuing, like what are your success rates? Cause it does not give a success. So you're just taking people's money. However, after continuing to attack the AMA, the association pressured the federal radio commission to shut him down. In response, Norman claimed that the AMA offered him money to remove his treatments so that they could continue promoting surgical in- inventions. And sued them for libel and defamation. So how are you suing them for libel and defamation? When you are the one who's doing unapproved treatments that have no success rate?

• 48:21Speaker 03

  That's the move though. When you got nothing else, you gotta go for libel and defamation.

• 48:24Laci Mosley?

  And deflect.

• 48:24Speaker 03

  That's how you do it. Put him on the defensive.

• 48:26Laci Mosley?

  This man is ahead of his time for evil business geniuses.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, he is.

• 48:30Laci Mosley?

  He also claimed that AMA had sent three assassins to his KN- or KTNT radio station to silence him forever with murder.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  With death.

• 48:42Laci Mosley?

  In the gunfight, his friend Harry allegedly shot one of the men before all three ran away. So he said they had a gunfight.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  It might have been the families of one of those five people you killed, bitch.

• 48:51Laci Mosley?

  Right. Like it's giving like you probably have enemies, bro.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Right. You've made some enemies for sure.

• 48:56Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. You just assume it's the AMA. I don't know. I feel like you made-

• 48:59Speaker 03

  It's way more likely that it's someone who lives around you and has heard about your experiments.

• 49:02Laci Mosley?

  Right. And is trying to stop you from ruining the world. The ensuing police investigation was dropped due to lack of evidence. Yeah, it sounds like you made up a lie. So in the last bit, to save his dying business in the middle of fighting off claims that he was a fraud, Norman held an outdoor demonstration of his cancer cure to silence any doubts. So how do you have an outdoor, cancer is not like something that you can see being cured immediately. Like what is, what is this outdoor event?

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:27Laci Mosley?

  You just got a podium?

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Now that I would go to though.

• 49:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we gotta see what you're doing.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  If they were like, we're coming down to the function, we're curing cancer on the spot. I'd be like, well, I gotta go see what's up.

• 49:36Laci Mosley?

  Right. I gotta check it out.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  I gotta go.

• 49:38Laci Mosley?

  I may not volunteer, but I'm at least be standing, you know, four feet away.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Day off work. I'm gonna go check it out.

• 49:43Laci Mosley?

  We gotta know. This is research. So, oh lord, he lined up a number of his patients to testify on how Norman's treatment had cured them and drank a large quali- quantity of the formula to prove that it was safe. He then performed a live surgery on a man named Mandis Johnson who had a brain tumor. Live surgery?

• 50:03Speaker 03

  And the man is not a doctor.

• 50:04Laci Mosley?

  Not a doctor.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  We can't lose that part. He performed live surgery as a non-doctor.

• 50:08Laci Mosley?

  That and also on the brain, which is notoriously one of the harder things to do surgery on as it's it's a brain.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  And he just did this in the park?

• 50:17Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 50:19Laci Mosley?

  It's on a Tuesday afternoon.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  It cannot be sterile out there.

• 50:22Laci Mosley?

  No, it's flies and shit. They're like, we got a fly on the brain. Y'all, hold on. Everybody got a fly swatter. We got three flies on the brain. We got to get these off. No, actually, the flies help with the function, with the brain function. It's cool.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  It's part of the treatment.

• 50:34Laci Mosley?

  It's a part of the treatment. Don't worry. Y'all ain't ever had no flies on your brain. See, that's why you're down bad, okay? That's your fault. Y'all ain't never thought about that. No, this is absolutely unhinged. Um, so he performed a live surgery and I was thinking like live surgery, that sounds so wild, but now like Dr. Miami, like they be doing surgeries on Instagram live. It's like you want half off of your surgery, let us get on live while we are operating on you.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:58Laci Mosley?

  Which is very weird and scary, but doctors are getting on live. I don't want a doctor on live when I'm in the OR. Please don't, please don't put your.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  I don't want an internet famous doctor.

• 51:06Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  I don't want a goofy TikTok about how you had someone die when they were under.

• 51:09Laci Mosley?

  I'm laying over here like boop, boop, and you like. You're like looking to see who's joining the live.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  You're shouting out, you're shouting out the homies.

• 51:19Laci Mosley?

  What's up, Surgery Gal 84? You never miss one of these. Yeah.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Thank you for the, thank you for the tip.

• 51:23Laci Mosley?

  Yes, thank you for the tip. Yeah, y'all, and like and subscribe. Like and subscribe, okay? Oh shit, hold on, one second, y'all, one second. No, we got him back, we got him back.

• 51:34Laci Mosley?

  Y'all know sometimes it gets a little crazy in the, in the surgery room. The surgeons start doing versuses.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Right.

• 51:40Laci Mosley?

  They get on live with other surgeons. Oh no, this is a bad time we live in and the worst times we're, the times we're talking about now. So while still conscious, Norman had his skull open, dumped the solution onto his brain and proclaimed that his cancer was cured. So he didn't, okay.

• 51:59Laci Mosley?

  The man couldn't have just drank the solution? You needed to splash it on his brain like in some goddamn cologne?

• 52:05Speaker 03

  In front of the audience? I'm like, who, I, how did this, did the man live?

• 52:09Laci Mosley?

  Don't hit my brain with no body splash you made at home?

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 52:12Laci Mosley?

  No. This man is wild. I cannot believe this shit. Where were the police?

• 52:19Speaker 03

  How did he open up, yeah, where were the police? He's in the park opening up somebody's brain, throwing shit on it.

• 52:23Laci Mosley?

  And nobody thought, that this, nobody intervened?

• 52:25Speaker 03

  Everybody's like, that's just Norman.

• 52:26Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's just Norman. You know he gonna open up a brain on a Tuesday. Okay, at the park. What y'all talking about? So the Federal Radio Commission finally took away his radio license in 1931. It took y'all long enough. In 1932, Norman lost his case against the AMA and an arrest warrant was issued against him for practicing medicine without a license. I just feel like y'all should have arrested him in the park. Like, I don't understand why he got to leave this surgery event and nobody...

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:52Laci Mosley?

  The man put out flyers. Y'all knew he was about to, he was like, hey, y'all, come out Tuesday afternoon, we doing illegal stuff.

• 52:57Speaker 03

  I can't believe he cracks skulls in the park and he lost the radio license before he lost the medical.

• 53:02Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it feels like the radio should have been, definitely needs to be taken away, but I feel like the medical thing, like the arrest should have been first.

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Order of operations.

• 53:09Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, y'all did this a little backwards. They were like, well, he is getting great ad times and, you know, the radio station is doing well. No. So beyond musketeen. Norman fled musketeen from Mexico where he ran into Dr. John Brinkley. Dr. Brinkley made his name transplanting goat testicles into male patients to restore virality. So before they had the sex honey, uh, that people are now putting on wings. Please stop this. Have you seen the sex honey?

• 53:38Speaker 03

  No, what is this?

• 53:39Laci Mosley?

  Now, when I go to gas stations, I've been seeing the sex honey. It's a honey that I guess they put in horniness into and you squeeze the honey in your mouth and then make it horny all night.

• 53:51Laci Mosley?

  And then I saw TikTok where somebody was putting the sex honey on wings.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  I'm so tired. I'm so tired. If y'all can't fuck, just don't fuck. Just don't fuck. This is crazy. This is getting out of control.

• 54:05Laci Mosley?

  Out of hand, bro. Like now I can't even trust if I'm going to Wingstop and my coochie gonna be hard all night?

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Don't let him have a Mexican Coke.

• 54:14Laci Mosley?

  Oh god, it's over for me.

• 54:18Laci Mosley?

  Oh my goodness, no!

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Horny honey, I'm sick.

• 54:21Laci Mosley?

  So, you know, they, I don't even know how I got on horny honey. Oh, because of the goat testicles. So he was like, so men were not getting horny like they wanted to and he was like, alright, let's give you some goat balls and then that's gonna really get the bitches.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  And what the fuck do goats have going on that we need, they got, are they notoriously horny or something?

• 54:38Laci Mosley?

  I don't know. And, and, and are you putting an extra ball in the sack you already got? Or are you taking your ball out and then putting the goat ball in and then, and then what happens when you, so are you coming goat sperms?

• 54:51Speaker 03

  I don't like any of it.

• 54:52Laci Mosley?

  I don't like any of that. You got to disclose if you got goat balls.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Tell me, yeah, tell me.

• 54:57Laci Mosley?

  Tell me upfront if you got goat balls.

• 54:59Speaker 03

  If you're part man, part goat, you need to tell me before we get in bed. I need to know.

• 55:03Laci Mosley?

  So, he, so he was doing this to male patients and had already opened a radio station, XER, at Villa Aquana, opposite of Del Rio, Texas. So he's already opened up another radio station. And he met the, the goat ball man. So, Dr. Brinkley, the goat ball doctor, was a fraudster in his own right and would later be sued by the US government for male fraud and malpractice as he had brought his medical degree from a diploma mill. So at least he went and purchased a little paper.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's doing the, he's, he's at least attempting like a fake information campaign about, I'm a doctor.

• 55:37Laci Mosley?

  He was like, look at that sign up there. I am a doctor from, uh, Medical School of Medicine. Now get them balls out.

• 55:42Speaker 03

  Dot med.

• 55:44Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we keep the goats fresh.

• 55:47Laci Mosley?

  We want to keep their balls as virile as possible.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  He's got a goat pen in his office.

• 55:51Laci Mosley?

  Literally. He's like, which one you want? We let you pick it like a lobster tank.

• 55:55Laci Mosley?

  Which goat looks more in this? Which one do you want to share a ball with? No, this is terrible. So Norman continued to market his cancer cures before returning to Muscatine in 1936, where he served one day in jail for the charges against him. Mind you, five people died after being under his care, and he also cut open a man's skull in the park.

• 56:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:15Laci Mosley?

  And they said, "One day of jail. You learned your lesson, you rapscallion."

• 56:19Speaker 03

  How the hell did he pull that off?

• 56:21Laci Mosley?

  How was he supposed to know you're not supposed to be cutting open people's heads when you ain't got no medical degree in the park?

• 56:24Speaker 03

  You're right. Who told him?

• 56:26Laci Mosley?

  Nobody ever actually said that.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Where is it in the law? Where is it in the law? Show me that.

• 56:30Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. See, that's why we had blue laws, because we needed very specific laws about not getting fish drunk and also not cutting open somebody's head in the park, because otherwise, how people gonna know?

• 56:38Speaker 03

  Probably know.

• 56:38Laci Mosley?

  We gotta try it to know. So he also ran for governor of Iowa. Of course, he did. Bitch. Norman, are you not tired?

• 56:46Speaker 03

  If he won, I'm pissed.

• 56:47Laci Mosley?

  And he also ran for state senator, but lost miserably. Thank you. Okay. At least he, at least he lost. So Norman then followed Dr. Brinkley to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, moving around a lot, very scamery, where he purchased a Victorian hotel to convert it into another hospital.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  No.

• 57:04Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  He has a passion.

• 57:06Laci Mosley?

  And you know hotels are the best things for hospitals because they don't have no overhead lighting. And you don't need that.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  No.

• 57:11Laci Mosley?

  You don't need that in the hospital at all.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  No. Just vibes.

• 57:14Laci Mosley?

  Look at this hotel. This also looks like a haunted mansion. Like, this looks like the spirits of everybody who ever stayed there is definitely just chilling in the parlor.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  I would like to die there. Every time I go into a fancy hotel, I'm like, "This would be a great place to die."

• 57:26Laci Mosley?

  Right. Like, if I'm a haunt, like, let me haunt someplace cute.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. It's giving, like, spooky. It's got, like, the very pointy architecture. I'm definitely not going there as a hospital. It's not giving care.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 57:38Laci Mosley?

  It's not giving medical care.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  It's giving maybe end-of-life care.

• 57:40Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 57:41Speaker 03

  Hospice.

• 57:41Laci Mosley?

  How many outlets y'all got in there? It's not even giving, like, electricity is running through the whole joint.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  Please.

• 57:46Laci Mosley?

  No, thank you. And who's doing the landscaping? It seems like the trees and everything are just, the foliage is out of control.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  You ever been to Eureka Springs?

• 57:54Laci Mosley?

  No, I haven't.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  It's beautiful down there.

• 57:56Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  It is. I bet this was a beautiful place.

• 57:58Laci Mosley?

  You think so?

• 57:59Speaker 03

  I bet it was.

• 58:00Laci Mosley?

  And it does look big and fancy. And this is an old-in-time photo, so I'm sure, like, if it was, like, real color and you were walking up, this might look like a college or like a prestigious, you know, like the Hogwarts of medicine.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  I bet it was pretty.

• 58:12Laci Mosley?

  It's giving, you know what, what a beautiful place to die, because this was gonna happen if you went over there. Norman was gonna kill your ass.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Norman's definitely gonna take your life.

• 58:18Laci Mosley?

  Okay, y'all want a final resting place that's sexy, come on down here and get this medical treatment at this hotel. Love that. So Norman painted the Crescent Hotel almost entirely lavender, his favorite color, and stuck one of his tangly calophones on the roof. So also, is Norman a queer icon?

• 58:34Speaker 03

  I was about to say, if his favorite color's purple, this, we're dealing with a, can I say faggot? I'm sorry.

• 58:40Laci Mosley?

  You can.

• 58:43Laci Mosley?

  But before that, what rang a bell to me is obviously like he was dating like divas who were pretending to be madmas. That's a larger-than-life woman personality, and as a woman who has dated a lot of queer men, you know, they're very attracted to like a diva. And then he left his diva wife one year after, you know, his new one, and now he's just traveling with Dr. Brinkley.

• 59:01Speaker 03

  Now he's shacked up with Dr. Brinkley, yeah.

• 59:03Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, who does ball surgery for men.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:05Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, with no license, which means he was just very, uh, he had a passion.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Lighten the loafers.

• 59:10Laci Mosley?

  For balls.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Lighten the loafers for sure, this guy.

• 59:12Laci Mosley?

  Yes, love that for him. So, um, he, you know, stuck a caliphone on the roof. He wore violet suits to match and drove a custom-coached, built-cord automobile as the newest big wig of Eureka Springs. So he rode around in purple suits like he was fucking Willy Wonka.

• 59:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:30Laci Mosley?

  And he was driving the baddest bitch vehicle. Honestly, iconic, iconic. Though he exuded confidence with B-list movie star looks, oh, y'all shady, Kayla, not B-list movie star.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 59:40Laci Mosley?

  Not A-list, but B, like, he was not Hella Berry Fonte or Heribella Fonte.

• 59:47Laci Mosley?

  But you know, he was like Bella Fonte, hey, like, hey, yeah, he was kinda cute. So Norman continued to be extremely paranoid and had his office sealed off in bulletproof glass, as well as kept two submachine guns nearby. You shouldn't be paranoid, you killing people's family at your fancy hotel. You have enemies.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  Yes, you have big enemies.

• 1:00:06Laci Mosley?

  You got haters.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Get some more machine guns, I guarantee you need it.

• 1:00:09Laci Mosley?

  So the Baker Hospital operated successfully for two years before Norman was caught trying to defraud people through flyers advertising the hospital. Yeah, I'm not going to a hospital with a flyer. Like, if Cedars signed that, if somebody was out on the street, like, y'all come to Cedars, y'all come to Cedars, we got them surgeries, we got them free before 11 in the ER, uh, ladies, ladies.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  Come on, two drink minimum, come on, get out here.

• 1:00:29Laci Mosley?

  Ladies, get IV first. Ladies, get IV first. Y'all, y'all pull up. Yeah, if your hospital got flyers, I don't want to come. And this feels like y'all doing a little too much. So in 1940, Norman was found guilty of mail fraud. They love getting the girls on mail fraud. Don't put a flyer in the mail, girl, because the US Postal Service is snitching, okay?

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  They're tallying on you guys for real.

• 1:00:46Laci Mosley?

  If I get arrested for mail fraud, though, the mail truck better take me to the jail. Like, I want the doors to be open.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:53Laci Mosley?

  I want the mailman to take me to jail, okay? So, he served three years at the federal penitentiary at Leavenworth, Kansas. In 19, this is his mugshot. His mugshot is still giving.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he's serving.

• 1:01:06Laci Mosley?

  He's serving and serving time. Yes.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  Hit both.

• 1:01:10Laci Mosley?

  Serving looks and time.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Oh, he's serving, alright.

• 1:01:12Laci Mosley?

  So, in 1946, he tried unsuccessfully to reopen his facility in Muscatine. The entire time, he claimed he was the victim of a conspiracy against him. With hospitals and radio stations closed, Norman retired to Miami, Florida, where he lived on a three-story yacht once owned by a railroad magnate, J. Gold. He died there of cirrhosis of the liver on September 8th, 1958, at the age of 76. So he lived for a long time. He lived till 76. Cirrhosis makes sense to me because this man was clearly drinking alcohol. Like, this is all starting to add up to me now. Because I'm like, you can't be sober and be like, we cutting off somebody's head in the park.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  No, this is an alcoholic gay man who died alone in Florida.

• 1:01:51Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  That's sad.

• 1:01:52Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  But also, I mean, should have happened sooner.

• 1:01:55Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you was a menace, my guy. Like, you worked so hard.

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  And you know, he probably killed so much more than five people.

• 1:02:01Laci Mosley?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 1:02:01Speaker 03

  When you count it all up?

• 1:02:03Laci Mosley?

  Because hospitals, you don't really count, like, nobody's like, oh, the hospital killed these people. It's like, when you go to the hospital, that's when there's a chance.

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're there for a reason. Because you might die soon.

• 1:02:12Laci Mosley?

  Right, or maybe they save you. So, this is a nasty man.

• 1:02:17Laci Mosley?

  I really wish, Norman, that you had just followed your passion for entertainment and become an actor or...

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Or, let's be honest, the drag queen.

• 1:02:24Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  That's what was really going on.

• 1:02:26Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, she could have been getting $1 tips at the local pub and living your best life. But instead, you was out here operating on people with no licenses. I don't like you, Norman. I don't like you.

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  I don't like him at all.

• 1:02:38Laci Mosley?

  The suits are given though in the lavender hotel, nice touches, but uh, you're a bad guy. But you live for a long time. When you evil, you be living long.

• 1:02:44Speaker 03

  Evil people do live for a long time, and he was supposed to die at like thirty.

• 1:02:47Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Back then, that's what people did.

• 1:02:49Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, and he persevered.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, he really lived.

• 1:02:51Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  He had like multiple jail sentences, multiple houses.

• 1:02:55Laci Mosley?

  Right, and like he was alive in the fifties, like people was over here doing the, the corn husker or whatever whack dances they was doing in the fifties. And he's still alive, from the eighteen hundreds.

• 1:03:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's old as fuck.

• 1:03:05Laci Mosley?

  Yes, alright guys, that brings us to the saddest part of the show, the end, where I have to let Caleb go. But before we do that, I love you're picking up a peace line like somebody can see this.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  It's just for you.

• 1:03:14Laci Mosley?

  I love it. I need it for me. Um, before we let you go, scammer of the week. Uh, this will re-highlight a charlatan who's worthy of our praise, maybe not, like Norman's old bitch ass, but let's see. So today we're talking about a student in Hong Kong who has been arrested after participating in an elaborate kidnapping to scam her parents out of ransom money. Hmm, you kidnapped yourself?

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:35Laci Mosley?

  To scam your parents?

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Laci Mosley?

  Okay, I don't know where I stand yet.

• 1:03:40Speaker 03

  I'm absolutely, I'm in it. I'm, I'm supportive.

• 1:03:43Laci Mosley?

  You're supportive?

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  I would never do it to my mom, so I'm like, your parents must be bad.

• 1:03:47Laci Mosley?

  Right, I would assume. It's giving like rich evil, mommy and daddy never loved me.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, they must deserve it.

• 1:03:53Laci Mosley?

  So the rule started when she had a video sent to her parents of herself with blood covering her body with a note demanding five million in Hong Kong dollars or six hundred forty thousand USD.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  Damn, that's not even that much.

• 1:04:04Laci Mosley?

  I mean, I guess in Hong Kong, the five million was milling.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  Six hundred forty K, my note would be for much more than that, I will say that.

• 1:04:11Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, cuz it feels like you can only do a kidnapping once. Like you can't be like, oh, they kidnapped me again, y'all.

• 1:04:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz the second time I might keep her.

• 1:04:19Laci Mosley?

  Right, it was like, we did our best.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  Maybe her family doesn't have that much money though, six forty is not a lot.

• 1:04:23Laci Mosley?

  I feel like if you ever think that kidnapping, like pretending to do a kidnapping to get money out of your parents, like they must have some kind of money. Cuz this ain't a, like my form of doing this would be like, oh, my mom sent me to the store with a twenty and I'm not giving her her change.

• 1:04:36Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:04:37Laci Mosley?

  Like that's my small ransom.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:39Laci Mosley?

  So you gotta know your, your parents got a little coin. So they reported it to the police who launched an investigation. As it turns out, in August, the eighteen year old ran into a person online posing as a Shanghai police officer. He accused her of being involved in a criminal case during the investigation, and he was able to dupe her out of two hundred thousand in Hong Kong dollars, roughly twenty five thousand dollars USD. So this is the student. So she got coined, cuz if you're 18 and someone can get 25K out of you, you got way more money than the average 18 year old.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:08Laci Mosley?

  Like, so, but over time, the scammer endeared himself to the student and she began to develop feelings for him.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  Oh bitch.

• 1:05:17Laci Mosley?

  Girl, how are you developing feelings for somebody who's taking your money?

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  A tale as old as time.

• 1:05:21Laci Mosley?

  I, there is nothing that dries my, my coochie out more than somebody asking me for money.

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  Especially 25K.

• 1:05:27Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, no, I'm not, ain't enough honey and goat balls in the world to get me horny again after that.

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  Honey, we're gonna need it.

• 1:05:34Laci Mosley?

  We need a vat.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:37Laci Mosley?

  We need the horny bees, I need to get stung by them, like the honey ain't gonna be enough. Okay, I'm turned off. So no longer, or not long after, he tried to scam her again out of almost 13,000 USD, but the bank flagged the wire transfer before it was completed. Officers warned her about the scammer, but she continued the relationship, damn.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  It really is like that sometimes.

• 1:05:57Laci Mosley?

  Is it?

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  It really, sometimes, sometimes when you're really desperate, you'll do anything for love.

• 1:06:01Laci Mosley?

  Scammer must have been fine, or doing some, doing some things, has, has some talents that we don't know about, because this is, baby. As a result, her parents ordered her home, and not long after they received the video. Officers were able to track her down through security footage at a hotel and arrest her. The student told officers she was helping her mainland police friend on a mission because she looked like a person wanted by the mainland authorities, and that the fake blood in the video turned out to be ketchup.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  Bitch.

• 1:06:32Laci Mosley?

  Now.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  You're not even gonna buy some Halloween store blood?

• 1:06:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, come on, now they got a Halloween store on every block.

• 1:06:37Speaker 03

  Dedicate, be dedicated to your craft.

• 1:06:39Laci Mosley?

  Okay, you in Hong Kong, I know they got stuff over there for cosplay and for like, you could have got on, you could have gone on Amazon, sis, and got some fake blood.

• 1:06:47Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, ketchup.

• 1:06:48Laci Mosley?

  Ketchup?

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 1:06:49Laci Mosley?

  At least tell me you dyed it a little bit or tried to get the consistency right, cuz ketchup doesn't look like blood.

• 1:06:54Speaker 03

  No, well, maybe, maybe that's her parents knew. I still support her, I think she's a queen. I think she's a queen, I love it.

• 1:06:59Laci Mosley?

  I do appreciate that this was a low budget girl, if she was just like, get some Heinz, get the video camera out.

• 1:07:05Speaker 03

  Get a hotel room.

• 1:07:06Laci Mosley?

  Right, and that's all we need. So, this, this took an interesting turn because I thought that she was scamming her parents out of the money, but in reality, she got some sexy person over here who's helping her do these crimes.

• 1:07:16Speaker 03

  And hey, if, we, we haven't seen him, if he's good at sex and he's cute, who knows?

• 1:07:21Laci Mosley?

  Right, he might have earned it.

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  He might have earned it.

• 1:07:23Laci Mosley?

  He might have earned this. Also, if you got 25K laying around in your own bank account without the assistance of your parents, you didn't need...

• 1:07:31Speaker 03

  Look.

• 1:07:31Laci Mosley?

  Girl, now you got a record.

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  Well, but hey, love is worth it. Love is worth, uh, love is worth a record. I've always said this.

• 1:07:40Laci Mosley?

  They're getting married.

• 1:07:43Laci Mosley?

  We doing a little jail, um, soiree, nothing, nothing too big.

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  Come on down.

• 1:07:47Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. Visiting hours start at noon. Don't wear any jewelry.

• 1:07:54Speaker 03

  Don't bring any weapons, please.

• 1:07:55Laci Mosley?

  Don't bring any weapons, please, and we gonna have a ceremony. No, no. All right, I feel bad for Miss Girl, but also I don't, because sis, you, you had plenty of opportunities to hop off this.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, she could have gotten out at any time.

• 1:08:07Laci Mosley?

  Hmm.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  God bless her.

• 1:08:08Laci Mosley?

  God bless her. God bless her scamming fine ass man.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  I bet he is too.

• 1:08:13Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah, you know, he's tasty.

• 1:08:14Speaker 03

  I bet he is.

• 1:08:15Laci Mosley?

  If he's not, then I'm really gonna be mad at you. He better, he better be looking like...

• 1:08:19Speaker 03

  See, I don't need honey. I'm, I'm getting horny thinking about a guy I've never seen who is objectively a thief. Like, I'm literally, like, worked up right now.

• 1:08:28Laci Mosley?

  He don't even know the go balls.

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  The idea, the idea of a guy being hot, I'm just like, whoo, we gotta end the episode.

• 1:08:34Laci Mosley?

  We have no, we have no features. We have no, we're just like, whoo, oh my god, ooh, that imaginary theft man, yes.

• 1:08:41Speaker 03

  I'm thinking about hot people I've seen before. That's all I need.

• 1:08:43Laci Mosley?

  Let's, it's getting steamy on here, guys. Um, we always ask people on this show, where would you like to be found? Anything you want people to watch, anywhere they can follow you?

• 1:08:53Speaker 03

  Oh, boy, yeah, you guys can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Caleb Says Things, and I'll, I'll tell you what's up over there.

• 1:08:59Laci Mosley?

  Yes, and Caleb is hilarious. Get your follow. Look, Twitter's a hellscam, and I really thank God for you. Like, I'm being so sincere that I see you just tweeting the goofiest, most hilarious things every day, and it makes me laugh so often. And I really appreciate it, because, you know, you get on Twitter and they're like, everything is bad. Women, y'all don't got no rights no more, as of today at 4:00 PM.

• 1:09:20Laci Mosley?

  Oh, the police is doing more murders. Like, you know, it's just like such a dark place. So then to see, like, you know, a random, like, tweet from you.

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  I'm talking about nonsense.

• 1:09:29Laci Mosley?

  I love that you're talking about nonsense. I too am talking about nonsense, okay? I'm trying to contribute in a healthy way online, which is me.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  And we're doing it.

• 1:09:35Laci Mosley?

  Talking about nonsense.

• 1:09:36Speaker 03

  And we're doing it.

• 1:09:37Laci Mosley?

  We are. Congregation, as always, scam, snitch on your friends and your family and your enemies at [email protected]. If you want to see the photos and these fire ass posters from, uh, queer icon Norman Baker. Scam Goddess Pod on the Instagram and then on Twitter. That's where I'll be talking to y'all and y'all be doing shenanigans. Stop photoshopping me into photos with the general. Okay, I will never tell you what cut rate car insurance I have. This is, I'm tired of y'all.

• 1:10:02Speaker 03

  I saw one, I'm not gonna lie, it made me laugh.

• 1:10:05Laci Mosley?

  And it didn't even make me the same height as Shaq as I should be.

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:10:09Laci Mosley?

  Cause we are the same height, I'm very tall.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  I've met you and Shaq and y'all are very much the same height.

• 1:10:13Laci Mosley?

  Thank you, thank you. I've met Shaq as well and it was like, man, the air up here, my guy.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Right, us on the same level.

• 1:10:18Laci Mosley?

  That's how we was talking, that's what we was talking about the whole time, because we have that in common. You hear me? Um, and you can follow me at D I V A L A C I D, Velaci on all platforms. Congregation. Stay radioing?

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Stay radioing.

• 1:10:37Laci Mosley?

  Stay radio, that's the best one yet. All right, we're out.

• 1:10:45Laci Mosley?

  This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. It's produced by Judith Garkbo, engineered by Ryan Connor and Abby Aguilar. Our researcher is Kalen Brandt. Stay scheming.

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• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  That sound? That's pro squash. Some of the fastest rallies in sport played inches from the crowd. The National Squash League is back in full swing for season four. The sport is heading to the 2028 Olympics for the first time, and you can see it up close right now in a city near you. Watch every match for free on YouTube. Search National Squash League and hit subscribe, or follow live updates on Instagram at NSL.Sport.