Lessons From 2022 That Will Shift Your Identity w/ Ed Mylett

CHANGE is INEVITABLE and in order to live your best life, you’ve got to have EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES in place to get the most out of those changes. Some changes YOU CHOOSE and some changes you don't, but you get to CHOOSE HOW TO HANDLE THEM. At the beginning of 2022, I decided to make the core message of what I wanted to share with you about EMBRACING CHANGE. My book, THE POWER OF ONE MORE, my television show, CHANGE WITH ED MYLETT and my podcast, The Ed Mylett Show are ALL dedicated to making POSITIVE CHANGES to give you the powerful tactics I have used throughout my life so that YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE. This week, I wanted to share some highlights from past episodes focusing on CHANGE to help you lead a better life in 2023 and beyond. You’re going to hear great advice from my conversations with…➡️ DR. JOE DISPENZA with practical steps on how to change negative thinking➡️ TONY ROBBINS shares the traits of FULFILLED PEOPLE and the seasons of our lives➡️ JAIME KERN LIMA on handling other people’s limiting beliefs➡️ Why you should look in the mirror to EMPOWER YOURSELF with ERIC THOMAS➡️ Overcoming physical and mental pain with PHIL HEATH➡️ JENNA KUTCHER on balance and the importance of resting well so you can hustle well➡️ Dealing with thoughts of not feeling worthy of your success with DEAN GRAZIOSIHere’s to a BLESSED and PRODUCTIVE 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time, too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Ed Mylett?

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  This is the Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:40Ed Mylett?

  Hey, guys. This year has been absolutely incredible. We're now the fastest-growing show in the world, and that's thanks to so many of you that every single week share the episodes with people that you know will make an impact on or that you care about and love. We've had 52 episodes, and every week's been filled with guests who have shared life-changing advice, wisdom, experience, the tactics and strategies that I know have changed your lives. And some of the shows have saved lives with the emotional content we've had that affect human beings in the heart as well. To close out this year, we've created a highlight reel with some of the most impactful clips. Thank you so much for tuning in every week, and I'm excited for 2023. You're going to love these highlight clips. It'll take you back. And if you've missed some episodes, you're going to hear stuff you've never heard before.

• 2:26Ed Mylett?

  Until then, remember to max out. God bless you.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  ¿Cómo manejas a tu familia que no necesariamente quiere que te logres éxito? Porque están más cómodos si te quedas atrapado y pobre como ellos. ¿Cómo caminas en tu éxito y disfrutas? Y creo que eso es interesante porque estás diciendo que tus hijos averiguarán quién eres y realmente, realmente irán por ello. Y muchas personas están luchando porque quizás sus padres, sus amigos, sus amigos y familia realmente prefieren que se queden atrapados.

• 2:55Ed Mylett?

  Sí, yo lo hice. Y, ya sabes, podría decirte que por el otro lado de todo eso, me amaron. Mientras que la mayoría de la vez, realmente te aman, están muy preocupados por ti. Y siemos honestos, si eres un empresario, hay mucho desafío. Y la mayoría de los padres no quieren ver a sus hijos heridos. No quieren ver que pasen momentos difíciles. Luego hay la otra parte donde dicen, "Oh, eres todo a la moda de la dinero", o, "lo que es importante es la familia". Y lo que ellos fallan en entender debido a sus propias creencias limitantes. Aquí es lo que va a pasar en tu vida. Las personas con creencias limitantes van a proyectar sobre ti sus sistemas de creencia una y otra vez. Y mientras estés consciente de que eso es lo que está sucediendo, que no es probable... Mira, probablemente haya algunos gente en tu familia que esté en contra de ti, pero la mayoría de ellos te aman. Te aman.

• 3:39Ed Mylett?

  Proyectan sobre ti sus sistemas de creencias limitantes. Aquí es lo que puedo decirte, que sé por cierto. Cuando ganas, y sabes que hablo mucho de esto en el libro, los dos capítulos sobre la matriz, y hablo sobre Neo, y Neo en la matriz es el uno. Y sabes que soy bien conocido por decir que puedes convertirte en el uno en tu familia que cambie la felicidad y la exitosidad. Porque en cada familia que veas que es rica o solo feliz, en algún momento de su línea antiguamente, no eran. Y luego aparece el uno, el Neo, el Jamie en esa familia. Y aquí es lo que puedo decirte, habiendo sido una persona que ha sido el uno, es que en última instancia cambias la forma en que ellos piensan.

• 4:22Ed Mylett?

  Y mi familia ahora abraza el pensamiento más grande. Mi familia ahora abraza el perseguir sueños y maximizar tu potencial. Took un tiempo, llevó un par de décadas. But that type of talk will not happen in my family again. And so the fact that that's happening to you and your family makes it even more requisite upon you to go do something great so that that legacy of limiting thinking and small thinking and playing life small and settling for, listen, it's not just good enough to be a good person in life. You're supposed to contribute. You're supposed to make a difference. You were born to make a difference in your life. And so, yeah, a ticket into the game is being a good human.

• 5:04Ed Mylett?

  A ticket into the game is being kind and caring, which is pretty rare nowadays. So that's a ticket into the stadium. But then you gotta get on the field and play. And to play the game is what life's all about. We were put here to play the game. And I can tell you that on the other side of it, here's the great news. Your family won't think that anymore, that way anymore when you're done. My family doesn't think like that anymore. My nephews, my nieces, my sisters, my mom, my family, they don't think like that anymore. They get it. And so I not only changed the financial dynamic of my family, I changed our emotions. I changed the way we think. And by the way, I would say that had my dad not made the decisions he made,

• 5:44Ed Mylett?

  I would have never been in a position, the sacrifices he made allowed me to be the one. And so the other thing lastly I'd say is a lot of you have beautiful souls in your family who've sacrificed so much for you. It's incumbent upon you not to rise up and to become that one that finishes the game, finishes the job. Some of you come from families with legacies of real tragedy in your family. Or maybe you're born into a dynamic where your entire race has been victimized, most of the generations of your existence, and you have ancestors that have sacrificed for you. I don't have that history, but many of you do. Man, you gotta do something great and honor them and take it to the next level and honor those sacrifices they made. And so it'll change the way they think eventually.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  What you just shared is gonna change someone's life today.

• 6:28Ed Mylett?

  I'm wondering the commonality of the fulfilled people. Is there something that they have in common? If you took the group of the fulfilled ones, patterns, behaviors, something about them that if I wanted fulfillment in my life that you see they all have in common?

• 6:46Tony Robbins?

  Yes, they, you gotta separate two skills out. I think most people in life think success is getting what you want. And fulfillment is living what you're made for, you know? And so getting what you want is not that complex, right? The human brain, you can train your brain to become this servo mechanism that'll go figure out how to solve something. A lot of people have had a goal or desire where they got so obsessed, they couldn't stop thinking about it. They didn't even have a plan and they met somebody and then something else happened and it came together. Right now, if they also had consciousness and effort and discipline, and it's like a lot easier to achieve those things. But frankly, with enough focus and enough massive action and enough consistency and modeling what already works, you can pretty much achieve anything.

• 7:29Tony Robbins?

  You know, because when it comes to science, we're talking about the science of achievement. Your body's a science. You might be biochemically slightly different, but there's certain rules. And if you violate them, you're gonna have problems and pain. If you align with them, you have high energy. Money's the same way. It's a film, it's different. Because what fulfills people is completely different. It's like, if you want to know what the universe or God loves, go to a forest. What do you see? Everything's different. Every leaf, every little snowflake, there's similarities. But there's all these differences. And so people have got to find what makes them really fulfilled. But I can give you, there's not laws like there are for success, but there are principles. And the two principles I can tell you to answer your question, who's most fulfilled? It's people that are growing and people that are giving.

• 8:11Tony Robbins?

  We are made to grow. If we don't grow, it doesn't matter how much money you made, doesn't how many people gave you Academy Awards, stars on your chart. I mean, I get the phone calls from all these people who you would think have the greatest life in the world. And then they're calling me because it's not so great. Because they haven't mastered the inner world. They're good at the outer world. But this one, this one hasn't been given enough time or energy. They've been so focused out here and they've done so well out here. Not so well in here. This is the one you want to do well on. You do well here, you can master the outside world too. You can handle anything. So for me, it really comes down to looking at it and saying, okay, if you and I are gonna have an extraordinary level of fulfillment. What's going to make me grow because that's what's going to make me proud and to grow, you got to face challenges. And I think the biggest problem most people have is the biggest

• 8:55Tony Robbins?

  problem they have is they think they shouldn't have problems. You know, it's like, problems are a sign of life. Problems are what make you grow. Now, you know, I'd rather call it a challenge. I'd rather look at it as a challenge and take it on as a challenge. But you and I both know, I mean, I have grown so much in the last 24 months, taking 105 companies, some of which were literally shut down for, you know, 12 months, keeping them alive, not letting go of my employees, figure a way to turn around, figure out how to adapt. I mean, I've developed more skill and ability to help other people because I had to manage my own state, unbelievably so. I had to help other people manage their state. So without the challenge, would I grow so much? Probably not. And then out of growing, you have something to give. And you know, you think about it, Ed, and I know you're this way, but I think we're all

• 9:38Tony Robbins?

  this way. If you have an experience of something that's really amazing, something you love, what's the first thing you want to do? Yeah. Share it. Share. Of course, share with somebody you care about, right? Why? Because if you just have it in yourself, you only feel so much, but sharing it magnifies it. So the people I see that they're, they're just growing and giving, but they also are really good at this pattern recognition. So let me give you one more note about pattern recognition because I want to complete the thought for your listeners and viewers. Think of it this way. There's power when you recognize a pattern and you can use it. There's even greater power sometimes when you can create a pattern. So think of it from the standpoint of humanity. For thousands of years, we were wandering through the environment, trying to survive, moving from place to place,

• 10:21Tony Robbins?

  being, you know, gatherers and hunters of that nature. And then when did humanity change? We made one pattern recognition, seasons. See, when we understood seasons for the first time, we understood if you plant in the winter, it doesn't matter how hard you try, you're going to get nothing. Yeah. You have to plant in the spring. You got to push through the hot summer and then you get to have the fall where you reap. And then guess what? The winter's coming in. And some winters are long, some are short, you know, some happen sooner, some later, but you can't break the sequence. And so there's a pattern. That pattern changed humanity. So I'll tell you the pattern, it'll change anybody else, realizing there's a pattern to your own life. There's a pattern. Zero to 20 is for most people, springtime.

• 11:06Tony Robbins?

  It's where it's the easiest to grow. You're being taken care of if you're lucky. Some of us maybe not. And some of us have to take care of others at a young age. But regardless, overall, zero, 19, 20, 21, you get to gather and learn information and be taken into some extent depending upon your life. Then what happens 21 to 41? You go test that shit and decide what you believe. Like, they told me how to be this way. Screw that. I'm gonna try this. You know, you go to college, you go try something, you start a business, you get in a relationship, and you have all this testing procedure. And so now you go through the hot summer of figuring it all out. Yeah. And then if you've really done a good job planting in the spring and building through that summer, you'll hit the autumn where you get to reap. Where if you've done really well, 41 to 61 is a reaping time.

• 11:49Tony Robbins?

  Right? If now, if you didn't plant in the spring, you know, Jerome used to talk about you'll be weeping in the fall if you don't do it, right? Right. So if you don't do your job, you're gonna have problems. But that pattern is in people's lives. And then 61 to 81, and if you're lucky, 81 to 102, that's the extended next season of winter. But winter can be the best season of your life. You have a great time with your family, your clothes, you're mentoring people, you have a different experience, you have plenty of business, you can do whatever you want to do or not want to do. So those are seasons. But then there's one more pattern. And this is the one I hope I'll reach your listeners or viewers with. You know, it's often it said, history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. Okay. You know, any lesson we don't learn from history tends to repeat itself because as the older people die,

• 12:32Tony Robbins?

  who know how that history, like, let's say, the World War II generation, then the lessons are lost. So think about this just for a second. Imagine for a second, you want to understand how generations are built. Here's my simple math for it. Imagine this for your viewership right now. Awesome. Think of yourself. Imagine you're born in 1910. So you're gonna come of age, 19, 20, 21, and 19, 29.

• 12:59Tony Robbins?

  Now, you're gonna have a very different experience because what happened? World War ended, it looked really good, and then the roaring twenties happened while you're 10, 12, 14 years old. People are getting cars and radios and people are dead. This is the greatest time of my life. And right when you come to that stage, you thought you're gonna get a car? Red line. Jumping out of buildings, the economy's going through the floor, we got the Dust Bowl. I mean, that generation, wow, from 21 to 41, what happened when they turned 29? Well, think of they were born in 1910, that means 1939. So they made it through the depression, that generation, to go to a war that most people don't even know what is it about? It was a war that if you were alive at that time, it looked like Hitler was gonna win. Like he was taking over the entire world, right?

• 13:44Tony Robbins?

  The Nazis, it looked like we were gonna lose. It did not look good. So all of a sudden, this generation goes to fight this war for survival. And guess what? They come back in 1945 and they win. And now think about it, they were born in 1910, right? So here they are, 35 years old, and they come back to being a hero. Veterans Administration, suburbia, they can have a home, they can finance it. And these heroes came back and they took care of our, they were the next springtime. Think about what it was like, 30s and 40s versus the 50s and 60s. Say the 50s to early 63 before Kennedy was killed. It was a high time for a lot of people. Not if you're African American, not if you're a woman in some cases.

• 14:28Tony Robbins?

  I was just thinking that. But just give you a historic component. But think about what happened after Kennedy was killed, and then Robert Kennedy, and then Martin Luther King. The 60s, a completely different generational race. If you were born at that time, you have a different perspective on life. If you came of age in the 60s, you have a different perspective than someone who came of age in 1929. You're gonna look at life differently, gonna respond differently. And then what happens in the 80s to the 2000s, where would this fall? Where you could give anybody anything and they give you a house, right? Where the stock market goes up no matter what. But then you get past early 2000s, 2008, and now where have we been since 2008? We're in winter, right? And the good news about winter is, in the beginning, it separates people.

• 15:14Tony Robbins?

  In the end, when there's a real pressure, like I remember talking to the President Clinton one time and I'm, I was 32 years old and I'm walking with him at Camp David and it's snowing and this little, this little deer went by and it was like a surreal moment. He's telling me all these things and all these challenges and I'm thinking this guy is the President of the United States and he's stressed out, it just concerns me, you know? Coach this guy, right? But I remember looking at the time thinking, these are such easy problems compared to an earlier generation. So here's why I tell you that. The generation that we call the great generation that fought World War II, that made it through the depression, that came back and turned things around, that generation was not respected in the beginning. They were seen as flappers early on, they're seen as weak. They responded because the environment got tough.

• 15:58Tony Robbins?

  That's why my response to, but the environment doesn't matter. The environment, the most challenging environment is the best environment if you don't give up. Because it'll bring out things inside of you that nothing else will.

• 16:08Ed Mylett?

  Actually getting serious about your life requires some work other than just being moved emotionally. What is some of that work?

• 16:16Eric Thomas?

  Listen to me. I think the first thing, and maybe Stephen Covey, I don't know, I think that who said it, come out the window and get in the mirror. And I think too many of us are in the window, meaning you're looking at everybody else and what everybody else is doing and you don't know what you want because you know so well what they want. You, you feel me? Like I, there's certain things I don't want. I want a relationship with Ed. I want that. I don't necessarily want some of the, like, I don't wear watches. I'm not against watches. I don't think there's anything wrong with a watch. I don't think it's, it's just not my thing. I don't, as a matter of fact, if you ever watch me, I don't even like to wear a belt.

• 16:58Eric Thomas?

  Like I got this phobia, anything that's on my body, I wish I could like have a, the emperor, the naked emperor. Like I wish I had his suit. You know what I'm saying? Like I hate putting on clothes. You feel me? I hate it. But. I know that there are people who are constantly watching what other people are doing. And now you're wanting what they want when you don't even want that. And the way I started this whole you owe you video in New Zealand was, I don't, I was with a group of people. And I promise you, they ticked me off, you know, they were like trying to, you need to do this and you need to do that. And I started the whole speech after having a conversation with them saying, I don't want what you want. And you're not gonna make me want what I don't want. I don't want that.

• 17:43Eric Thomas?

  I want, I love relationships. I can go to Ed crib and chill. We can just drink water, doggone it. I don't care. We could just walk on the beach as long as there's a relationship and, and, and it's making me better. And it's nurturing me and it's that is feeding that human need for a sense of belonging and safety and self actualization. I'm not really on nothing else. And so, you know, for my birthday, what you want to do, E? I just want to be in the room by myself because I'm always with people or helping people. I just want to chill. And so I know what I want. And because I know what I want, I'm not going to do what you want me to do and fail. But gotta hear what I'm saying, please. When you don't look in the mirror, you are not empowered.

• 18:27Eric Thomas?

  When you look in the mirror, you see you and what you want and what you need to do and what you need to be. When you look in the mirror, you reflect. When you reflect, you transform. When you transform, you change. When you change, you do things differently. When you do things differently, you get different outcomes. When you looking in the window and you staring at other people, there is no reflection. It's only comparing. And as long as you compare yourself to another model, I drive an Escalade. I'm from Detroit. I drive an Escalade, a Cadillac, right? When I see a dude in a Bentley, I'm looking at that Bentley like fire. But at no point am I going, I want to trade my Cadillac in for the Bentley. I've seen some fire Lamborghini. I moved to Cali. Everybody got a Range Rover.

• 19:09Eric Thomas?

  I've, I've seen some fire Range Rover. I've seen some Lamborghini. I looked at these vehicles and go, my, what craftsmanship? I've never gone, I feel this Escalade, I feel. So bad, I'm in an Escalade. This is the car that was my dream car. The black on black. This is what I dreamed of. This is it. This is my dream vehicle. And so I don't look at what others have and compare. I actually look at what others have. I actually look at Ed and go, man, there's a God. Wow. Look how he operates in his gift and his anointing. Look at his energy and his passion. Look at his delivery. And then I go, hey, God, where's mine?

• 19:49Eric Thomas?

  Why did you give me? And, and I not give me ads. I don't want ads. Why? I can't do ads like Ed can do ads, but I can do Eric's like Eric can do Eric. So I'm saying get out of the window, get in the mirror, look at you, study you, figure out you. My boy Mustafa said something the other day that was deep. Moose said, when you don't know what to work on, work on yourself. Wow. When you don't know what to work on, work on yourself. And I want to add to that. When you do know what you want, work on yourself. Because it is the working of yourself and the improving and getting better. Ed been on this earth. He been on this earth. I've been on this earth. I wasn't ready to meet Ed when I was the dude eating out of trash cans of victim.

• 20:35Eric Thomas?

  I would not have taken advantage of that relationship. I, it wasn't until I got older that the Creator said, oh, you ready? You ready for these type of, you ready for these type of relationships now? You ready? Why? Because you are who you need to be. I heard the coach, McVeigh, I think is his name. He gonna kill me if that's not his name. The coach for the Rams. He'll kill me if that ain't his name, right? He said, yeah, and forgive me, forgive me. But he said, yo, we brought Eric here because he shares our values. You'd like, he shares our values and the stuff that we talk about and what we're about. He talks about that stuff. And so I didn't get to go because I'm a great speaker. It's a lot of great speakers. Matter of fact, he said, yo, we don't bring a lot of people in here.

• 21:20Eric Thomas?

  But we felt Eric could move the needle. And we want to win another Super Bowl. And so for me, it's like, yo, I wasn't ready for you 20, 30 years ago. And I'm so glad God didn't give me the opportunity. But when he gave it to me, because I worked on myself, I worked on becoming a better man for me. Not for Dee Dee, not for Jalen, not for Jay, not for my mother. For me, I became a better man because when I looked in the world, I realized I wasn't living up to my potential. And then by doing the work, I connect with another man who's doing the work. Neither one of us, now, Aye might be a little bit poorer than I am, but uh, uh, let me tell you something.

• 21:57Eric Thomas?

  Not perfect, but progressing, trying, fixing, revamping, restructuring, repurposing. And when you do those things, y'all, I guarantee you, the way the brain works and the spirit works, when you start focusing on stuff and you're willing to make the adjustments, it's gonna, it's gonna come to you eventually. I promise you that.

• 22:20Ed Mylett?

  So how do you view pain? Have you thought about that? Like, everything you did every single day required extreme pain most of the time. So how do you think you have a relationship with it? Like, you run towards it every day. You habitually embraced pain, if you think about it, in the gym daily.

• 22:38Phil Heath?

  Yeah.

• 22:39Ed Mylett?

  Isn't that interesting?

• 22:40Phil Heath?

  Very. I appreciate the opportunity to answer this. I loved it.

• 22:46Ed Mylett?

  You loved pain. Look at your face. It's dawning on you right now.

• 22:50Phil Heath?

  Yeah, like, the sweat, you know, because it just reminds me of like, how many people, they, eh, they BS. Oh, the blood, sweat and tears is like, what blood, what sweat, man? What are we really talking about?

• 23:07Phil Heath?

  We're talking about like, doing the work when you are at your most vulnerable in your personal life or in your business. When you don't feel like it. When your friends have turned against you.

• 23:24Phil Heath?

  When that business partner lied to you. When you're going through divorce.

• 23:30Phil Heath?

  And people are judging you and shaming you.

• 23:34Phil Heath?

  And all I have is the gym.

• 23:38Phil Heath?

  And being in gratitude, thanking God that I have the gym to unleash all of that. And be my most authentic self in that process of pain.

• 23:49Phil Heath?

  I'm not out drinking and partying and hurting someone else. I'm actually using a pair of dumbbells and barbells and machines and loud Metallica and hip hop to build something and hoping that

• 24:08Phil Heath?

  what I'm doing is going to create a physique

• 24:13Phil Heath?

  that people will enjoy.

• 24:17Phil Heath?

  And do it with a smile on my face. And I think with the pain,

• 24:25Phil Heath?

  it's just necessary to feel it. Brought me pleasure.

• 24:33Phil Heath?

  Because I know that it's required. It's gonna suck. No different like playing basketball, being in practice and he says, on the line and you're like, I really gotta run. Yeah. And then eventually you, it's almost like you have to trick your mind into becoming a psycho and saying, more, more, more, more. And then you mean it. I want more.

• 25:00Phil Heath?

  If it requires pain inside to become better outside. What better message to my creator and to help other people to deal with theirs? Because people are all dealing with freaking pain. And they're scared to, to stand in front of it. And it ain't like I don't have demons either that I gotta address, right? And I've learned that when you hide

• 25:28Phil Heath?

  or you try to, you know, put them under the rug. That's burning me up inside. So if I gotta feel some pain now, what's on the other side of it? Triumph. I want the triumphant moment. I have to have it because I'm tired of living in this pain. And um, yeah, that's how I, I mean, I'm not getting ready for a show right now, but I would, if I was in the gym, I'd.

• 25:59Ed Mylett?

  People would be like, damn, this guy's a machine, but yet I'm like, that's just what I do.

• 26:05Phil Heath?

  What you do.

• 26:06Ed Mylett?

  You know, if there's someone listening to like, look, I'm in the hustle stage.

• 26:09Jenna Kutcher?

  Yeah.

• 26:09Ed Mylett?

  But there is this calling on my heart that I feel like I do need some recuperation. I need some rest. What would you say to them? I know you say a lot of it in the book, but what would you say to them today?

• 26:20Jenna Kutcher?

  Oh, my gosh, rest. I used to suck at resting, which is wild because I am a masterful rester now. I have a chapter called the soul shavasana where like at the end of yoga where you are supposed to lay on the mat.

• 26:34Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 26:35Jenna Kutcher?

  I freaking couldn't do it. I hated it. I felt like I had to earn it. So I felt like if I'm not sweating enough, I don't deserve to lie on that mat. And I feel like a lot of the world is trying to earn the right to rest when it's like our birthright, right? Like, we shouldn't be embracing rest. And here's what I want to tell people because I know your audience. They are achievers. And achievers take this idea of rest, thinking they need to earn it. And they're not willing to work for it. Rest for me requires just as much work as going full steam ahead.

• 27:10Ed Mylett?

  Boy, isn't that true?

• 27:11Jenna Kutcher?

  I, it's like, okay, it's like when you go on a vacation and right when you're about to fly home, you're finally unwinding and you're right about to jump back into the crazy.

• 27:20Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh, yes, yeah.

• 27:22Jenna Kutcher?

  I was with our friend, our mutual friend, Jamie Kern Lima. And it was after her book launch and she had worked so hard.

• 27:29Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 27:30Jenna Kutcher?

  So hard. And we were sitting on this rooftop together and I said, Jamie, it's like you need to do a couch to 5K, but in reverse. You need to teach yourself how to rest. It's like every day you just need five more minutes, five more minutes of rest and starting to build up your tolerance for being still. And I know for me, like I yearn for rest, but I also have to work for it. Like I have to be mindful.

• 27:58Ed Mylett?

  So good.

• 27:58Jenna Kutcher?

  At like, I don't need to be productive right now. My worth is not in my output. How do I slow everything down? Even on the Uber ride over here, I literally was looking out the window because I could have been looking at my phone. And I was like, what do I see? What do I smell? What do I feel? Like, what is in front of me? And it was like, just this practice of like, be here right now.

• 28:22Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 28:22Jenna Kutcher?

  And so, rest is not innate for a lot of us.

• 28:26Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 28:26Jenna Kutcher?

  Especially the people that are just running, running, running.

• 28:28Ed Mylett?

  You've had momentum and have had some success.

• 28:30Jenna Kutcher?

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:31Ed Mylett?

  What about the person who's a young man or woman listening to this? They're like, "Look, I'm in this stage where like, if I cooled it completely..."

• 28:37Jenna Kutcher?

  Yeah.

• 28:38Ed Mylett?

  You know, there's, uh, no food in the fridge.

• 28:40Jenna Kutcher?

  Yeah.

• 28:41Ed Mylett?

  So, that's a different situation, but I'm assuming you believe many of these principles still apply.

• 28:47Jenna Kutcher?

  Absolutely.

• 28:47Ed Mylett?

  To them as well. So what would you say to someone who goes, "That sounds good." "When you got a couple houses like you got, Jenna."

• 28:52Jenna Kutcher?

  Yeah.

• 28:53Ed Mylett?

  "And you got a couple bucks in the bank." "And you got a top podcast." "And your book's gonna go New York Times Bestseller." "But I'm not there yet." "I'm at a different season." What would you say to them?

• 29:03Jenna Kutcher?

  So, I believe there's a tipping point that people will hit. And I believe it in the core of my being. And I've seen it so many times. So, there are gonna be seasons in your life where money is what you value the most. And that's not coming from a place of greed. It's coming from a place of necessity, right?

• 29:20Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 29:20Jenna Kutcher?

  There are so many seasons where you and I, both of us, have traded our time for money in any way.

• 29:27Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 29:27Jenna Kutcher?

  Whether it's staying up late, burning the candle, you know, doing a service, whatever that is.

• 29:31Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 29:32Jenna Kutcher?

  There comes a tipping point when you feel secure and safe enough that you say, "No, no, no. I'm willing now to trade my money to get back time." Whether it is Instacart, or hiring a cleaner, or whatever that looks like for you. When that tipping point happens, you have to realize that the value of earning back your time is not so that you can just spend it earning more money so that you can keep buying back your time. There's this quote, uh, story in the book. And it's talking about how this Buddhist monk goes to New York City.

• 30:04Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, so good.

• 30:05Jenna Kutcher?

  And they, uh, go and they, he, the, somebody is showing him around the city. They take him down on the subway and he's like, "We're gonna save 10 minutes." And so they come on up out of the subway and the Buddhist monk sits his butt in a park bench. And the guy's like, "What are you doing?" And he said, "I'm gonna enjoy the 10 minutes we just saved."

• 30:22Jenna Kutcher?

  And I was like, man, like, I love efficiency. Like, your girl, I love it.

• 30:27Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 30:27Jenna Kutcher?

  But I'm like, we're trying to save time to spend more time saving time.

• 30:30Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 30:31Jenna Kutcher?

  It's a problem.

• 30:32Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 30:32Jenna Kutcher?

  So hustling in seasons, necessary.

• 30:36Ed Mylett?

  I'm glad you said that.

• 30:37Jenna Kutcher?

  When it is the autopilot and your only way of living and existing, not sustainable.

• 30:43Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 30:44Jenna Kutcher?

  That is when people hit burnout. And I think our world is collectively in a situation of burnout, and we are desperately waiting for a breakthrough.

• 30:52Ed Mylett?

  I agree with you.

• 30:53Jenna Kutcher?

  And so it's like your check engine light, where it's like, you can run for a while like that. But if you are not checking in with yourself, your body, your health, your family, your relationships, anything.

• 31:04Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 31:05Jenna Kutcher?

  Pretty soon, there's going to be something that has irreparable damage.

• 31:09Ed Mylett?

  What is it about most of us that makes us think we're not worthy of being successful? I'm critical of myself, I'm hard on myself, but I've never had this belief, like, I don't deserve to win. I may not thought I could.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Right.

• 31:20Ed Mylett?

  I don't know how I'm going to, but I've not had it so all the way back there. I'm like, I just don't deserve to win. I, I, or someone like me can't win. I've not ever had that. I've had all the other stuff. But what is it?

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Wow, that's, that's such a good, as you say that, I've never felt that either. I always felt the cards might be stacked against me. This one's going to be rough, not sure I can get through it.

• 31:39Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  I've, I've had sleepless nights, a lot of them. I've gone, I've gone six months with sleep in two, three hours a night. So stressed and, you know, my wake up and my brain's thinking, thinking, thinking. I like to share that with people because I think when they see success, they think, man, that was just probably a harmonious ride for you, right? I went through a divorce in the middle of it. Like, I've been through a lot of the things on the opposite side, right?

• 31:59Ed Mylett?

  But you've also worked with millions of people, and you know that a lot of them suffer from this.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, they do, but you just said that. I've never felt I didn't deserve it.

• 32:06Ed Mylett?

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  And, and I would say it's, I think it's society, and especially, we live in a society right now where, when you're successful, there's a lot of people that look at it as a negative, right? So we almost have this negative association to sales. We have a negative association to success. But I always, here's the last thing I'll say about it. I always, I said this one time on stage randomly, and the audience went nuts, but I just said, When it comes to money and success, it's like you're at a therapist, money's on one chair, you're on the other, therapist is in the middle and you go, "I hate that money, if I get that money, I might change, I might be a horrible person." And then in the other part, you're like, "But I need that money so I can have freedom and take care of my family and I need control and I don't want to work in this horrible job anymore." Could you imagine a therapist saying, "Well, we gotta get this straight,

• 32:50Speaker 02

  do you hate money in that chair? Or do you love money?" I'm really unsure and I think that's the conflict. I think the conflict is we think, I think money and alcohol just expose and compound who you are. You're a jerk sober, you're a real jerk drunk, right? You're violent sober, you're very violent, right? Same with money. And I think, I think if you're listening to Ed Mylett, you have to realize that money is a byproduct of service and what money can do is, listen, when people say to me, "Money doesn't buy happiness", I say, "You haven't given enough away." Right? When I was on your stage, I was compelled. I was compelled by you. I watched your emotions behind camera when you were talking about the families in Texas. I was compelled. Do you know how great? You're thanking me, like,

• 33:34Speaker 02

  you're thanking me for something that filled my heart. You know how great? You know what $50,000 was to me at 18? I thought if I could make that a year, I'd be the richest man alive. And to be able to sit on stage and say, "Hey, Ed, let me give you another 50 grand." But at the same time, I built two schools in Africa, I fed 7 million people, right? I donated $600,000 last year to Operation Underground Railroad. How blessed are we that we get to do those things, right? So, I don't know, you know, earlier I said, Tony, I like when he says, "Get leverage", I said, "Get in the right mindset." If you feel that being successful, that you don't deserve it or that money is bad, I'm gonna tell you to dig into that. Find out where that is. Ask yourself,

• 34:17Speaker 02

  one of the simplest ways I always do is ask yourself why seven times. "Why do I think I don't deserve it? I'm not that smart." "Or why do I think not being smart has anything to do with being successful?" And just keep asking why over and over again and you'll get to a point where you'll start getting emotional and be like, "Everything I just shared is bullshit."

• 34:36Ed Mylett?

  This thing you keep telling you about you that holds you back from jumping into a challenge, holds you back from starting a business, holds you back from getting into that relationship, or getting fit like you know you should, or asking yourself the right questions, you're getting something from it, even if massive, most of it's negative for you. How does one, just in general, start to change the story they tell themselves about their life? Because you're the master of this.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, you know, and I know if you're, if you're listening to Ed Mylett, you've heard this before, you've had other people talk about it, but I think it's, maybe this is the first time you get to really feel it, or maybe the silly version that I'm gonna give you sticks with you, and if this is why you're here today, this is why you're here. Here's the way I look at it. We need pain sometimes to disconnect from a story. You know, somebody asked me about success once, and I would love to say I was always aspirational. I wanted more. I didn't want to be like my dad, and struggle, and be like my mom who worked three jobs to make ninety bucks, and I had this vision of something bigger and better, and being in control of my life, and all those things sound good at this phase. Sometimes you gotta go to the dark side.

• 35:39Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  I just didn't want to be them. My father was miserable and fought with everyone, and he'd be in love for six months, and be divorced within three, and always mad, and sometimes, you gotta give your permission, give yourself permission. When I went in my toughest thing, when I needed the extra boost, the turbo boost to get off the ground, I'm like, you're gonna end up like your dad, you're gonna end up broke, you're gonna end up alone, you're gonna end up not in control of your life, someone else is gonna tell you how to raise your kids, and how to dress, and when to go to work. I would, I would push myself, so sometimes, you gotta go to the dark side to get the momentum, and I'm, I'm telling you to use that to shift your story.

• 36:17Ed Mylett?

  Very good.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Right? So, so, I'm, you know, Tony always says, to get the rocket off the ground, all the energies in the first couple of feet, and then once it gets in space, you hit the button, you're a thousand miles an hour, right? Do whatever it takes to get the rocket off the ground, to start the new business, to say I'm worthy, to shift the story. If it's pain that'll drive you, then use the pain, because half of us run away from pain, half of us run towards pleasure. We know that. Yep. Use the one that you're accustomed to and amplify it, right? My gosh, that's profound. So amplify the pain. Yep. Most people, Joe Dispenza would probably tell you not to do that, and I love that guy, and I'm glad you had him three times. But I needed that. Mm-hmm. Secondly, you know the story if you think back. I could have made it but, or I would do it or.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  That's how you find this, the number one thing. I'm, you know, I don't have the money, I don't have the time, my family thinks I'm nuts, I could never do something like this, I'm an introvert, I don't have a following. I don't know what that is, but here's the way I look at it. If you spend enough time today, and this is my quick hack on stories, if you spend enough time today, you can find the one thing, there's lots of them, but you can find the one that's probably held you back the most. So the two things I would say is, Good. Go look at what it's already cost you. Again, this is personal development 101, I don't want to act like I made this up, but I want to remind you today, we all need reminder services. This story, this thing, this too young, too old, not money, it's already cost you pain.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  You already missed opportunities, you already let the ship go down the track, the train go down the tracks, you didn't start the business, you didn't go for the relationship, you didn't fix that thing, and it's already cost you a lot. So what I say, here's a cool way to look at it. It'd be like two armies. Mm-hmm. You already know the story that will come up when you decide to go all in. When you say, you know, I don't care about, I'm going, I'm starting the business, I'm scaling the business, I'm not gonna... You already know the army that's coming. You already know the story that's gonna go, ah, ah, ah, Ed, little Eddie, you know, come on, Ed, you know, you know where you came, you know what your house looked like when you were little, you know you weren't that good in school, you know you cheated in ninth grade, you know you cheated your way through... I'm making this up, Ed, I'm just saying. Pretty close. But it's... Biology. Yeah. Accounting.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  So, so if you use the dark or the light, whatever you need to get the engine going, if you identify the story that's already cost you, and you really think about it, it becomes painful. But here's the thing, as you think about this next thing you want to do, you want to thrive in a shifting economy, if that story's coming, it's like you're going to war, but... The scout went out and you know that the other army is two days away.

• 38:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  You know what kind of guns they have, you know how kind of horses you have. You already, here's the thing, you already know your enemy. So if you're not preparing and fortifying and creating the things that block the enemy, then you're kind of inviting the story back. So you could be, you know, how many Uber drivers have you had? I haven't been in Uber in a while, but before COVID when you're in Uber, how many Uber drivers did you say, oh, man, I was, I was on my way, Dean. I see, I love your books and oh, seven, when the market shifted, I lost my business. I'm just said to hell with, you know, many of those stories I've heard?

• 39:21Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  What they've done is they let that army come in, that story come in because at least they have something.

• 39:29Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  And what I want to tell you is if you really want more, you know, your enemy, the number one enemy is that story that's held you back. You can fortify the gates, you can decide to turn that story around and you cannot let it in.

• 39:42Ed Mylett?

  You have this unbelievable saying that you say, your personal reality is dictated by your personality, right?

• 39:48Joe Dispenza?

  Exactly.

• 39:49Ed Mylett?

  And so just step back into that just for a second.

• 39:51Joe Dispenza?

  Okay.

• 39:51Ed Mylett?

  The application of it in creativity for people. And then is it a temporary change?

• 39:56Joe Dispenza?

  Okay. The process of change is, is the, the difficulty is, is that 90% of the thoughts you think are the same thoughts you think, you thought the day before. Nerve cells that fire together, wire together, keep firing the same thoughts, keep making the same choices, keep doing the same things, keep recreating the same experiences that stamp the same networks of neurons into the same patterns, all for the familiar feeling called you. And do that enough times and your biology, your neuro circuitry, your neurochemistry, your hormones, your gene expression stays the same because you're the same. Okay, so then instead of sitting down, trying to meditate for 10 minutes and say, I then believe in the thought, I can't meditate, or I don't have enough time, or I'm a really

• 40:39Joe Dispenza?

  important person, or I got too many, too many emails to answer, or it's garbage day, or it's my mother's fault, it's my ex's fault, I want to complain, I want to blame, I want to make excuses, I want to lay down, my bladder's full, I like this, what am I doing wrong? And they're agitated, impatient. That's, that's the personality that has been hardwired.

• 41:01Joe Dispenza?

  And conditioned emotionally into the past that's resisting the unknown. It would rather cling to suffering than take a chance in possibility. So our events, we say, okay, here's the knowledge. And I can say now with a great degree of certainty, more than ever, that if you actually do this and you stretch yourself a little bit further than where you would normally go at home, your brain will change. And if you teach people how to do this over and over again, and no different than training an animal. The body is the animal. Are you training the body that you're in charge? Is that what you're doing? You're telling the body it's no longer the mind, that you're the mind. Yes.

• 41:42Joe Dispenza?

  And when you do that, those victories add up and then all of a sudden, there's a liberation of energy. There goes the guilt, there goes the pain, there goes the whatever. It doesn't matter if it's health. It doesn't matter if it's wealth or success. It doesn't matter if it's a loving relationship, a change in a career, a mystical experience. Whatever it is, the person all of a sudden starts to relax into the present moment. Now, let's demystify the present moment. People wake up in the morning and they, they think about their problems. And those problems are memories that are etched in their brain. They're connected to certain people and objects at certain times and places. The moment they wake up in the morning and they start thinking of their problems, they're thinking in the past.

• 42:25Joe Dispenza?

  Okay, now every one of those problems has an emotion associated with it. So when they feel unhappy, when they feel bitter, when they feel fearful, now their body's in the past. Thoughts are the language of the brain, feelings are the language of the body. Thought and a feeling, image and emotion, stimulus and response. You're conditioning the body to be the mind of that emotion subconsciously. Now, the body is believing it's living in the same past experience 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Why? Because the body's so objective. It doesn't know the difference between the real life experience that's creating that emotion and the emotion that person is creating by thought alone. It's so important, the body doesn't know the difference. And so what it would, the environment signals the gene, that's epigenetics. The end product from an experience in the environment is an emotion.

• 43:08Joe Dispenza?

  The person's signaling the same genes in the same way. And genes make proteins and proteins are responsible for the structure and function of your body and the expression of proteins is the expression of life. And now the person is actually headed for a genetic destiny. And when people labor for the present moment.

• 43:24Joe Dispenza?

  And they take their attention off of their body, off of all the people in their life, all of the objects they own, their cellphone, their computer, their car, their house. They're no longer identifying with where they're sitting, where they need to be, where they live, where they've lived in the past, where they need to go. And they're not thinking about the predictable future of the familiar past. They're dissociating from everything physical and material, everything known. That is the exact moment we call getting beyond yourself.

• 43:53Ed Mylett?

  Got it.

• 43:54Joe Dispenza?

  Okay, now, when we're in that place then, at the beginning, it's uncomfortable because we're... Survival is the unknown. You have better chances of survival and running from the unknown. But that unknown is the perfect place to create from. So, in the process, no different than any rehab. In our first two days of our event, really, people are... They're basically rehabbing from their emotional states and their habits. And they're sitting in the presence of that discomfort, right? And the discomfort is because the body is leaving the known. But, but, but, the body has been conditioned to be the mind. The moment you take it outside of its familiar territory, it's gonna start telling you, "Ed, why don't you quit?

• 44:38Joe Dispenza?

  You know, you're not really good at this. You know, you're more of a physical person. You don't really wanna do this. You're not very this or very that." And most people just get up and they do the meditation. They believe that thought as if it's true. Now, the question is, what's on the other side of that thought? Can you sit there long enough till that's no longer the thought you accept, believe, and surrender to? Well, then...

• 44:57Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 44:58Joe Dispenza?

  The next question...

• 44:59Ed Mylett?

  What's on the other side of that thought?

• 44:59Joe Dispenza?

  What is the other... What's on the other side of that familiar emotion? Can I sit and work with my body and settle it down? Stay. You stay. I'm gonna feed you. You're not gonna die from this. Your bladder's not gonna explode. You're not gonna go crazy. And you work with catching those thoughts. It's called metacognition. If you're in that 95% of programming where you're unconscious, then the first step to change is becoming conscious of your unconscious thoughts. So conscious that you would never go unconscious or let that thought slip by you unnoticed.

• 45:32Ed Mylett?

  I wanna understand. So, you're saying the awareness of the thought, being conscious of the thought, has it somehow lose its power over you?

• 45:38Joe Dispenza?

  Exactly, exactly. Because just because you have a thought doesn't mean it's true. And if you're left alone to yourself, you'll start believing every thought you think. And that's the problem.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  The