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Transcript 17,486 words · 5 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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0:57 Caleb Hammer? To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. You got your boyfriend fired by emailing someone else's [BLEEP] to everyone in the company?
1:05 Speaker 03 She deserved it.
1:05 Caleb Hammer? Why? Would you do this, you crazy?
1:08 Speaker 03 I had taken dog [BLEEP] and smeared it all over the windshield, which is another story entirely.
1:12 Caleb Hammer? And you drained your savings to bail yourself out of jail when you hit your husband and then escaped a cop car?
1:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:18 Caleb Hammer? What the [BLEEP] did I even just say? That's insane.
1:20 Speaker 03 I ended up going to jail for felony [BLEEP].
1:25 Caleb Hammer? Oh, she's a crazy [BLEEP].
1:29 Caleb Hammer? Download my budgeting app today and take control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only, sign up for the annual version of Premium and get my cookbook and notebook signed and mailed directly to you. Link in the description and pinned comment below.
1:43 Speaker 03 Hi, my name is Kaylee. I am 37 years old. I live in Mariposa, California, and welcome to Financial Audit.
1:51 Caleb Hammer? Welcome, welcome. Thanks for coming over to Austin. What do you do for a living in Mariposa?
1:57 Speaker 03 I work at a hotel front desk.
1:59 Caleb Hammer? Cool. That's probably not a ton of money.
2:01 Speaker 03 Twenty dollars an hour.
2:03 Caleb Hammer? Is it on the coast?
2:04 Speaker 03 No, it's in central California, just outside of Yosemite National Park.
2:07 Caleb Hammer? Okay, that helps with price, right? Honestly, not too familiar with central, the central California.
2:14 Speaker 03 I get paid very well for the area.
2:16 Caleb Hammer? Well, you get paid well, but the cost of living, that's what I'm concerned about. What do you make?
2:20 Speaker 03 Twenty dollars an hour.
2:21 Caleb Hammer? Okay. And how many hours a week do you work?
2:24 Speaker 03 I work four days a week, eight hours a day.
2:28 Caleb Hammer? Do you want me to do the math?
2:29 Speaker 03 Yes.
2:30 Caleb Hammer? Is that what's being asked? Okay. A quick little, 32 hours a week?
2:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
2:37 Caleb Hammer? So twenty dollars an hour is pretty nice. But if we're not working 40 hours a week, it doesn't stretch as far.
2:44 Speaker 03 I know, but I don't want to work 40 hours a week. I like having Friday, Saturday, Sunday off.
2:50 Caleb Hammer? Why don't you work more hours of the days, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?
2:55 Speaker 03 I do work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
2:57 Caleb Hammer? More hours to get to 40 hours a week?
2:59 Speaker 03 More than eight? I mean, I do when they let me, but they're pretty stingy.
3:04 Caleb Hammer? What are they stingy about?
3:05 Speaker 03 Overtime. The entire...
3:08 Caleb Hammer? It wouldn't be overtime though, would it?
3:10 Speaker 03 More than eight hours a day is overtime in California.
3:12 Caleb Hammer? Oh, California. Makes it impossible to run a business. If you want to work, just fucking let you work. My goodness, it's so weird.
3:21 Speaker 03 I mean, they want me to work more.
3:23 Caleb Hammer? No, they want you to. The state doesn't.
3:24 Speaker 03 No, no, yeah.
3:26 Caleb Hammer? Okay, okay. So you, it sounds like you should probably work on Friday. I mean, obviously, we're struggling. If we're on this show, we're struggling. I don't think you really have the choice to take a Friday off. Then you should probably actually have a second job outside of the hours that you're working. Because if you're on this show, you're usually financially fucked. It's typically how it goes.
3:45 Speaker 03 Yes.
3:46 Caleb Hammer? So what is going on? What are you doing? Kind of sounds like a...
3:52 Caleb Hammer? Dumb philosophy.
3:53 Speaker 03 Well, I have been considering offering to work every other Friday because my boyfriend just got a job up there where I live, where he will have every other Friday off. So then if we could like both have that one Friday off.
4:05 Caleb Hammer? You're an adult. You're allowed to work five days a week. Come on, this is a privileged position in the history of humanity. Most times you'd be working sunrise to sundown until you're dead in your 30s.
4:17 Speaker 03 I know, but I don't want to do that.
4:19 Caleb Hammer? I know, but I'm saying working nine to five Monday through Friday is not the worst. It's in fact the best. A cushy fucking front desk job, $20 an hour? In the history of humanity, that's considered good.
4:31 Speaker 03 It is actually.
4:32 Caleb Hammer? If you have bills to pay, work.
4:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:38 Speaker 03 Is it better than nine to five? I only work from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m., so I have like the whole day ahead of me when I get off. It's pretty tits.
4:44 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but that's pretty tits. Okay, interesting. But that means you probably go to bed earlier anyway. I mean, your days are just like shifted, right?
4:54 Speaker 03 I don't need a lot of sleep.
4:55 Caleb Hammer? Okay, okay, well, that's not what matters here. What matters is if you're on the show, you're probably not doing financially well.
5:05 Speaker 03 Well, obviously.
5:05 Caleb Hammer? I don't think you get to take a day off of work a week.
5:11 Caleb Hammer? What hits your account on a monthly basis?
5:14 Speaker 03 So like after everything that comes out, like 1100 every two weeks. So 2200 every month.
5:22 Caleb Hammer? How are you possibly surviving?
5:24 Speaker 03 I don't know.
5:25 Caleb Hammer? How are you possibly?
5:26 Speaker 03 I really don't have a lot of bills. Like I don't have a car payment. My rent is like very cheap.
5:30 Caleb Hammer? Why are there so many documents? That's not making any sense.
5:33 Speaker 03 Well.
5:37 Speaker 03 I don't.
5:37 Caleb Hammer? An answer would be helpful.
5:38 Speaker 03 I don't have a whole lot of bills. I just, well, other than credit cards.
5:44 Caleb Hammer? You don't consider those bills?
5:45 Speaker 03 Yes, yes, those are bills, but I don't have like-
5:47 Caleb Hammer? Why are we in credit card debt then if we didn't have a lot of bills? Because if we didn't have a lot of bills, we wouldn't have to go into credit card debt. In order to buy the things we want to buy, when I have credit card debt and all of a sudden those are bills. So why the do we have credit card debt?
5:58 Speaker 03 Um, because with all that time off that I have every week, I go out and do a lot of things.
6:02 Caleb Hammer? Then equal, equal reason to not take the time off on Fridays. If you spend more money because you don't work there, then uh, don't fucking take time off work. And if you're not making enough money, then don't take time off work!
6:15 Speaker 03 I just, I don't, I'm not like a career girly. I would rather be at home, like, doing domestic things.
6:21 Caleb Hammer? Trad wife? You want to trad it up?
6:23 Speaker 03 No, I like to have spending money, but I don't like, I like to keep a clean house. And I like to cook and I like to like, you know, I have to have time to do that stuff.
6:33 Caleb Hammer? So you like everything about being a stay-at-home wife other than being called a stay-at-home wife?
6:38 Speaker 03 You could say that!
6:41 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, I could tell from the tattoos, okay?
6:45 Caleb Hammer? Uh, is that an option? Where are you in this relationship? I, I don't know.
6:51 Speaker 03 I, you mean like when he moves back in with me? He doesn't live there currently. He will be-
6:55 Caleb Hammer? Is he moving back in?
6:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, he starts his new job on the 23rd.
6:58 Caleb Hammer? I didn't know he moved out. Didn't know you guys ever lived together in the first place. Why are you acting like I know anything about you?
7:03 Speaker 03 We did-
7:04 Caleb Hammer? I don't!
7:05 Speaker 03 We did live together, but he had a bit of a problem with alcohol. So I told him he had to move out and be sober for six months before moving back in.
7:14 Caleb Hammer? Fair.
7:14 Speaker 03 Thank you.
7:15 Caleb Hammer? Support.
7:16 Speaker 03 So he hit that six-month date and then like two days later got a job interview up where I live. Which, he's in quality control for aerospace.
7:24 Caleb Hammer? So you want to be a stay-at-home wife to-
7:26 Speaker 03 No, I don't, like, I'm not gonna quit my job when he moves in, but, I mean-
7:30 Caleb Hammer? No, but you want to in general, be a stay-at-home wife?
7:33 Speaker 03 No, I think I would always like to like have a little part-time job where I could have my own like, spending money. I would like that. I'm just, I'm not a career girly. I don't have like hopes and dreams, sorry, hopes and dreams of like-
7:46 Caleb Hammer? What do you aspire to in life?
7:49 Caleb Hammer? Like, how the fuck can we do anything if you don't have nothing to-
7:51 Speaker 03 Well, it's, I mean, I do have hopes and dreams, but they're not like, employment-related.
7:57 Caleb Hammer? What are some of your hopes and dreams? Cause they might be connected to them.
8:00 Speaker 03 Oh, I like to travel. Traveling is good.
8:02 Caleb Hammer? You need money to travel. You need a job to get money to travel. Sounds like it's tied.
8:08 Speaker 03 Yes. The good thing about this job that I have is.
8:12 Caleb Hammer? You have the one where you work less than forty hours a week. Yeah.
8:15 Speaker 03 Yes, that one. Um, I get really, really good hotel discounts. So.
8:20 Caleb Hammer? Great. Spending money you literally do not have still.
8:23 Speaker 03 I spend the money before it's like even.
8:26 Caleb Hammer? If I wanna go get McDonald's and instead of fifteen dollars, it's ten dollars cause they have a value pack going on, but I don't have ten dollars to spend. I still don't spend it cause I don't have ten dollars. What are you talking about?
8:39 Speaker 03 Well, that's where the credit cards come in. All of the.
8:42 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, no.
8:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:44 Caleb Hammer? And obviously you can't afford that. Okay, goals and aspirations, more, give.
8:49 Speaker 03 Just, what do you, I'm simple. I'm a simple girly. I just wanna like live.
8:53 Caleb Hammer? Simple in more ways than you know.
8:54 Speaker 03 Stay home, big bread, maybe take a fucking flight every now and again.
8:59 Caleb Hammer? Girl, you're forty and you're a failure. That's embarrassing. You live in an embarrassing life right now.
9:04 Speaker 03 I don't think it's embarrassing necessarily.
9:07 Caleb Hammer? What do you have going for you in life? A boyfriend that you had to kick out that is now potentially coming back in.
9:12 Speaker 03 Yes.
9:13 Caleb Hammer? You don't care about anything in terms of your ambitions or any purpose in life. You want to travel, have no money to do it, only went into credit card debt to do it.
9:26 Caleb Hammer? What is, what is there to look at you and be like, oh, that's someone I look up to? I'm gonna just call it how I see it.
9:33 Speaker 03 I don't necessarily need you to look up to me.
9:35 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but it just shows how you are.
9:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:38 Caleb Hammer? And it's important to know how you are from a self-reflection standpoint, absolutely. But also someone else can see that isn't you. And I'm just gonna know you. I've only been talking to you, what, nine minutes? But I've learned enough to know that you got nothing going on. And that's not cute.
9:52 Speaker 03 But is that like the worst thing in the world though? Like.
9:55 Caleb Hammer? It means that you're living an insignificant life. You'll never be remembered by a single person.
9:59 Speaker 03 That's all right.
10:01 Caleb Hammer? Okay, I mean, you're, you're, you're, okay, that's fine. If you have no desires to leave even an impact on someone's life in this world.
10:11 Speaker 03 I think I leave like a good enough impact on my son's life.
10:15 Caleb Hammer? You have a kid.
10:16 Speaker 03 I do.
10:17 Caleb Hammer? Okay, that's even worse then. Cause you should.
10:23 Caleb Hammer? How old's the kid?
10:24 Speaker 03 He's 11.
10:25 Caleb Hammer? Oh, I was hoping he was out of the house.
10:28 Speaker 03 No. I'm not that old.
10:33 Caleb Hammer? Wait, you're 37. If you had a kid at 18, they'd be out of the house, right? Isn't that how math works?
10:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, but...
10:39 Caleb Hammer? So, I mean, that's fine. I was out of the house by the time my parents were 37.
10:42 Speaker 03 I knew.
10:44 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so you have a kid. You're prioritizing nothing in life, meaning you can barely pay bills and not put them through programs that they want to get through. And you're certainly not going to pay for the college. And they're definitely going to have to take care of you when you're old because you've done nothing to sacrifice for your future. Why would you say no? Go ahead, give me a logical answer.
11:01 Speaker 03 Well, his dad's side of the family is pretty well off.
11:05 Caleb Hammer? That doesn't mean you get taken care of.
11:08 Speaker 03 No, no, I'll take care of myself.
11:10 Caleb Hammer? Doubt it?
11:11 Speaker 03 Listen, having to take care of my mother, I've learned. I'm never going to put my son through that.
11:17 Caleb Hammer? You've learned yet, you've done nothing to fix it. Lady, if you don't have retirement...
11:20 Speaker 03 I do!
11:21 Caleb Hammer? How much is in your retirement?
11:22 Speaker 03 I don't, it's in there. I think 27, but I might be making that up. I could be making that up.
11:27 Caleb Hammer? That's nothing for your age. That's not, that's going to last a year. Listen.
11:31 Speaker 03 Well, I've got time.
11:32 Caleb Hammer? You're going to be your mother, not by your choice. No, yes, by your choice, but not by you, like, wanting to do it. Your mom, I don't know her full story, but I'm going to say what you're going to be. You're going to be in a situation where you cannot retire, cannot keep a roof over your head, you're going to be struggling. Maybe you become, you know, who knows what social security is going to be like by the time you are retired and if you take early social security, it's going to be less. I don't know, you have bills to pay for it, you struggle for it. Your son's not going to let you suffer, not going to let you suffer. He's going to be morally obligated, as your son, to take care of you. It's not going to be you asking. He is going to help and he's going to put his life on hold to help. So, yes, and that is you being selfish because you want to travel the world now and not work on Fridays and have nothing going for you in life. That's a joke.
12:17 Caleb Hammer? If you're doing it as a
12:21 Caleb Hammer? motherless, you know, lady forever, sure, you can do that. You can do whatever because no one's depending on you. You know, whatever, that's fine. Some will judge, some will not, I don't care. You have a kid.
12:33 Speaker 03 Yes.
12:33 Caleb Hammer? At this point, it's embarrassing and borderline disgusting, the life you're living.
12:41 Speaker 03 I disagree.
12:43 Caleb Hammer? How?
12:44 Speaker 03 I mean, I don't think it's disgusting.
12:46 Caleb Hammer? How?
12:48 Speaker 03 How is it not disgusting? I mean, he has a lovely home, two lovely homes that he splits his time between. He goes on trips with me, too.
12:58 Caleb Hammer? Built on debt. Debt that is gonna set you back in life and then the kid is gonna have to take care of you. Put his life on hold to do that because mama was selfish and wanted to go on vacations and not work. Tell me how that's not disgusting.
13:10 Speaker 03 Because I think-
13:11 Caleb Hammer? We see it in our culture all the time and it's an un- it's a barely talked about thing. It's not talked about enough.
13:18 Speaker 03 I guess-
13:18 Caleb Hammer? No one wants to put the blame on their parents.
13:19 Speaker 03 The main goal then in life would be to make sure he doesn't have to take care of me.
13:24 Caleb Hammer? Great, you're completely failing at that and you're forty and barely have-
13:26 Speaker 03 Well, I just cannot with it right now.
13:28 Caleb Hammer? Well, you- but your catch up is immense. You have to invest double, triple what someone in their twenties has to in order to retire with a decent amount.
13:36 Speaker 03 Which I-
13:37 Caleb Hammer? Cause the time on the side-
13:38 Speaker 03 Could probably do that after I clear through all this-
13:43 Caleb Hammer? How are you even managing your finances now?
13:45 Speaker 03 Chat GPT, obviously. How else would I be doing that?
13:53 Caleb Hammer? The f- what is Jiffy T saying about this?
13:56 Speaker 03 Um, well, we worked out a plan to like pay off all three credit cards that I have, which one of them doesn't really count because it's like-
14:05 Caleb Hammer? What are you asking GPT?
14:07 Speaker 03 For like a schedule on how to pay off my debt-ish. Which it has been working to an extent. For two cards, it has been working. For the third card, I just continue-
14:23 Caleb Hammer? You spent more than you brought in last month. I don't know what you're talking about. Yes.
14:28 Caleb Hammer? How much- how much came in last month?
14:30 Speaker 03 Like twenty-two hundred?
14:32 Caleb Hammer? How much spent?
14:32 Speaker 03 No, maybe more than, because sometimes I do get overtime.
14:35 Caleb Hammer? You had a little bit of overtime, thirty thousand came in. How much went out?
14:39 Speaker 03 More than three thousand?
14:40 Caleb Hammer? Three thousand four hundred.
14:42 Speaker 03 Are you sure?
14:47 Caleb Hammer? Hey GPT, what do I do about someone's financial situation if they have no idea what they're talking about and they're prioritizing their lives over their children's? She says she's 37, looks 57, has tattoos all over her body.
15:03 Speaker 03 What the f**k I do?
15:04 Caleb Hammer? And has clown lipstick on, if that helps.
15:10 Caleb Hammer? Let's see.
15:14 Caleb Hammer? Uh, here's a direct and clear path. Establish clear boundaries. Here's the boundary between me and you. I don't like you.
15:20 Speaker 03 Okay.
15:21 Caleb Hammer? Number two, direct and factual communication. Factual? You're being a selfish mother. Not good. Focus on priorities. Your child, not your travels. Recommended, require counseling. Sure, I'll set you up with a Sondar Mind therapist. I use them. Document and follow-up. Oh, we're gonna do that. You better believe it. Take proactive actions if necessary. DON'T SPEND MONEY YOU DON'T HAVE!
15:46 Caleb Hammer? Regarding her appearance? Be firm, clear, compassionate. I believe I already did. But prioritize the child's well-being.
15:55 Speaker 03 He's very well.
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16:27 Speaker 03 Bing.
16:28 Caleb Hammer? Report it to social services. I don't think we need to go that far, but that is what GPT has said. Your financial advisor of choice.
16:38 Speaker 03 Hmm.
16:39 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
16:39 Speaker 03 Did you name your ChatGPT?
16:41 Caleb Hammer? I just call her her.
16:42 Speaker 03 Oh, she's a her.
16:43 Caleb Hammer? Yeah.
16:44 Speaker 03 It's very progressive of you.
16:46 Caleb Hammer? Well, sexist like you. Okay, so.
16:51 Speaker 03 Yes.
16:52 Caleb Hammer? What have you learned through the?
16:55 Speaker 03 What have I learned about the finances from ChatGPT? My little payoff plan that I do.
17:01 Caleb Hammer? What does, what does, what does she say about the boyfriend coming back in the house? Why'd you kick him out in the first place? How'd you learn?
17:07 Speaker 03 How did I learn?
17:09 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, like, what was like the breaking point?
17:12 Speaker 03 Okay, well, so I knew that he struggled with alcohol, like, when I got together with him, obviously.
17:20 Caleb Hammer? Interesting couple choice, okay.
17:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know. I have also had my struggles with alcohol in the past.
17:26 Caleb Hammer? What?
17:27 Speaker 03 Oh, shocker. Um, so he moved in four months after we met. And prior to living with me, he had never lived anywhere besides with his mother.
17:39 Caleb Hammer? How old is he? Well, I wasn't rushing you.
17:42 Speaker 03 Oh, you were breathing hard.
17:43 Caleb Hammer? I was reacting.
17:45 Speaker 03 He's thirty-four. I know.
17:49 Caleb Hammer? Again, an interesting spousal choice. Okay, continue.
17:53 Speaker 03 I wasn't like on the prowl.
17:54 Caleb Hammer? Continue.
17:55 Speaker 03 Okay, so, um, he moved in after four months and the alcoholism just went like up level one hundred and.
18:04 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, he wasn't with his mother anymore and he probably enabled him.
18:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, so, um, my drinking, the whole thing came to a head. Do you want a good story or do you want to wait for the post-show for that? Because it's juicy.
18:18 Caleb Hammer? Good story, but not that long.
18:19 Speaker 03 Okay, so, um, I had this little feeling after a lot of drinking that he was doing. I just had one of those little women.
18:29 Caleb Hammer? Best thinking after getting completely fucked up.
18:31 Speaker 03 Totally. So, um, I picked up his phone and I found that one of his coworkers had sent him some naughty photos. In his defense, they were unsolicited. However, he did kind of like play into it.
18:42 Caleb Hammer? Delete his messages before?
18:44 Speaker 03 No, no.
18:44 Caleb Hammer? So what if his coworkers sent some titties?
18:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. And so I may have overreacted a bit. And I went online and I got the email address for every single person in the company. And I sent her titties and their text thread to every person in the company. So naturally, um, he got fired.
19:02 Caleb Hammer? And you should have gone to jail?
19:06 Speaker 03 There were no nips. They were just, you know.
19:11 Caleb Hammer? That's still kinda revenge.
19:13 Speaker 03 Oh, she deserved it. So.
19:15 Caleb Hammer? So she got fired?
19:16 Speaker 03 No, no. Her and her husband, her husband works there too. They are like darlings of the company. So they were.
19:23 Caleb Hammer? So wait, who got fired?
19:24 Speaker 03 My boyfriend.
19:25 Caleb Hammer? You got your boyfriend fired by emailing someone else's tits to everyone in the company?
19:29 Speaker 03 And, and their whole conversation, yeah.
19:31 Caleb Hammer? Why? Would you do this? You crazy?
19:34 Speaker 03 I was, yeah, it was a bit reactionary.
19:37 Caleb Hammer? Why would he ever even consider staying with you? You're insane.
19:41 Speaker 03 Well, that's not the only thing. Like, he also drinking, we
19:47 Speaker 03 got into a bit of an argument and he took my car because
19:52 Caleb Hammer? He took your car?
19:54 Speaker 03 He couldn't take his car because I had taken dog and smeared it all over the windshield, which is another story entirely. Um, and so he had gone to this casino that's like sort of nearby. And when he was leaving the casino, instead of turning left or right like a normal person, he just fucking went straight and drove over a bush and totaled my car. So there were a lot of things that his drinking.
20:17 Caleb Hammer? Getting back together.
20:18 Speaker 03 Oh, because he's just my favorite thing that has ever existed.
20:21 Caleb Hammer? Which is why you smeared dog.
20:23 Speaker 03 Well, that was a long time ago.
20:25 Caleb Hammer? Fired by emailing all his coworkers. If someone emailed me all my coworkers, ah, I'm never talking to them again. That's just crazy, i.e. You're kinda crazy.
20:35 Speaker 03 She do be crazy.
20:37 Caleb Hammer? No, that's not cute.
20:38 Speaker 03 No, I know, but that's why I don't drink, you see. I don't.
20:41 Caleb Hammer? That's good. I am happy to hear that.
20:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:44 Caleb Hammer? How long have you been sober?
20:45 Speaker 03 Um.
20:48 Speaker 03 This time? I don't know. About, about as long as him, but like I did, like I've had a beer here or there. He has had nothing. Prior to meeting him, I had just come off of quitting drinking for a year because I woke up with a broken ankle and I didn't know how it happened. So I was like,
21:04 Caleb Hammer? Oh, what are you?
21:04 Speaker 03 Well, I better maybe take a break. So I took a break.
21:10 Speaker 03 But anyway, so to answer your question, what was the question? It was...
21:14 Caleb Hammer? The drinking, I get it, can make you do crazy things, but you're also just kinda crazy.
21:17 Speaker 03 Yeah. Oh, you asked, "Why did I finally kick him out of the house?"
21:20 Caleb Hammer? An alcoholic who smears dog [BLEEP] who emails tits revenge [BLEEP] to all coworkers.
21:27 Speaker 03 There were no nipples!
21:28 Caleb Hammer? Doesn't wanna work 40 hours a week, has no career aspirations.
21:31 Speaker 03 No.
21:31 Caleb Hammer? Only wants to leave her child to travel.
21:34 Speaker 03 He comes with me!
21:35 Caleb Hammer? Ahhh, you're not a good person!
21:39 Speaker 03 I never claimed to be!
21:41 Caleb Hammer? You okay with that?
21:43 Speaker 03 Um, there's, it's a spectrum. Like, I'm good in a lot of areas.
21:47 Caleb Hammer? What?
21:49 Speaker 03 What am I good at? Hmm, baking.
21:52 Caleb Hammer? And makeup. Sorry, keep going. Baking?
21:56 Speaker 03 Uh, yeah, um...
21:58 Caleb Hammer? The [BLEEP] laced special cookies?
22:01 Speaker 03 Yes, yeah, but I don't do that anymore unless somebody asks.
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23:19 Speaker 03 I mean, I'm pretty good at like, anything I do, anything I try to do.
23:22 Caleb Hammer? Well, you were very good at drinking, we know that, but...
23:25 Speaker 03 I've never like, had a job where I'm not the best one there. I do.
23:29 Caleb Hammer? Do you know how well you're doing while you're there?
23:32 Speaker 03 What do you mean, do I know how well I'm doing while I'm there? Yeah, I know how well I'm doing while I'm there!
23:37 Caleb Hammer? Your job is to check people in.
23:39 Speaker 03 Out. I'm the morning girl.
23:41 Caleb Hammer? Okay, and most people just don't.
23:44 Speaker 03 You would fucking think, but they like to stop by and tell me their life story.
23:48 Caleb Hammer? You're bragging about being the best person at checking people out when only half the people do that.
23:54 Caleb Hammer? Sorry, I know I'm being a bit rude, but I also really kinda wanna lay this out in a real world situation where I can't have you thinking that you're in any kind of respectable position because you're not. You need to change your life. Thirty-seven years is a little late to do it, but you can do it.
24:12 Speaker 03 I know. I'm ready to do it now. I'm ready to grow up now.
24:16 Caleb Hammer? Uh huh, says with the dad heart tattoo.
24:20 Speaker 03 He died on Valentine's Day. Tell me that's not the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen. Please. My dad.
24:25 Caleb Hammer? What year?
24:25 Speaker 03 Uh, twenty-three. He was very old. He was eighty.
24:29 Caleb Hammer? I thought maybe I was born when he died and that maybe I'm your new father.
24:32 Speaker 03 Oh, Jesus.
24:34 Caleb Hammer? But no. I'm sorry for his passing.
24:36 Speaker 03 Thank you.
24:37 Caleb Hammer? That sucks. Okay, so that's, so you're kind of a crazy ex, except now back together. So he's coming back in?
24:45 Speaker 03 He's coming back in.
24:46 Caleb Hammer? And you guys enable your bad behavior?
24:49 Speaker 03 No, we are...
24:50 Caleb Hammer? What you do when you live together.
24:52 Speaker 03 Yes, but we have both come a long way.
24:55 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, not living together.
24:58 Speaker 03 But he's there every weekend. He comes up every weekend.
25:01 Caleb Hammer? It's a little different.
25:04 Speaker 03 We both have had many, many conversations and have very clear like...
25:09 Caleb Hammer? You met him just two weeks after leaving the twelve-year relationship you had?
25:13 Speaker 03 Uh huh. I know, I know.
25:16 Caleb Hammer? I don't think this is a healthy thing for you. I don't know.
25:22 Speaker 03 I cannot imagine, like, I can't imagine life without him.
25:25 Caleb Hammer? This is insane. He paid for your tummy and arm tuck.
25:28 Speaker 03 My ex.
25:29 Caleb Hammer? You were fat?
25:30 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
25:30 Caleb Hammer? Before? Good job. Well done.
25:32 Speaker 03 Thank you.
25:32 Caleb Hammer? It was over fifteen thousand dollars and then you broke up with him a month after the surgery?
25:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, the timing on that was pretty... From the outside, from the, I will give you that, from the outside looking in, the timing on that is pretty awful. But, listen, in my defense, the surgery had been scheduled like six, five, six months prior to that, but my dad was dying. I know, but my dad was dying, so I pushed it forward.
25:58 Caleb Hammer? But give him a few months after completion of a surgery he pays for. At least lead him on for a bit.
26:03 Speaker 03 I couldn't do it anymore. Listen, I was sitting in therapy and like, the light bulb went off and I was like, it's been seven fucking years since the last time I broke up with him and nothing has changed. Everything is still exactly the same. And I'm not getting any younger, obviously. So I had to, I had to scoot boots.
26:17 Caleb Hammer? Scoot boobs?
26:18 Speaker 03 Scoot boots. Get out, you know?
26:20 Caleb Hammer? Oh. Is there anything even remotely healthy about this relationship, if we're being honest?
26:26 Speaker 03 The only fight that we've ever been in that like, doesn't involve alcohol, like since, since we've been drinking.
26:33 Caleb Hammer? Smearing or getting him fired, okay, yeah.
26:34 Speaker 03 But, listen, the smearing is because he brought home a dog that I didn't want and it pooped in the house.
26:41 Caleb Hammer? What a very mature response you had. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, what was this?
26:44 Speaker 03 Anyway, so the, the one like big that we got in, like, since the quitting of the drinking, is I really needed a car, because like I said, he had crashed my car the year before. And I took out a loan from my baby daddy without asking, asking my boyfriend first, which like offended him and hurt his feelings. But in my defense, there's no fucking way he would have been able to qualify for a loan.
27:11 Caleb Hammer? Weird baby daddy loan?
27:14 Speaker 03 I paid him back quick though. I was just waiting for my taxes to hit.
27:19 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you're fucking...
27:21 Speaker 03 It was the first time I had a tax return in like a lot of years.
27:25 Caleb Hammer? Of course. You have your single mom tax credit.
27:30 Speaker 03 It's like a, a big Christmas.
27:33 Caleb Hammer? Really supporting the best futures here, ladies and gentlemen.
27:41 Caleb Hammer? This show is changing my perception of the world, let me tell you.
27:46 Caleb Hammer? Fucking crazy, the things that we have witnessed. Okay.
27:52 Speaker 03 Yes.
27:54 Caleb Hammer? What the? You broke up with your baby daddy because he had no sex drive, but then you guys broke up when you got pregnant?
28:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:02 Caleb Hammer? These notes that I'm being fed are insane.
28:05 Speaker 03 I have often-
28:05 Caleb Hammer? You are a creature!
28:07 Speaker 03 No, yeah.
28:08 Caleb Hammer? So because he wouldn't fuck you, but clearly did because you got pregnant, and then you wait till getting pregnant?
28:14 Speaker 03 Hold on. Hold on. I often refer to my son as the second coming of Christ because I don't know how, in the very few times that we did be intimate, that I got pregnant. And also, I didn't know that I was pregnant until-
28:28 Caleb Hammer? How often did you guys?
28:29 Speaker 03 Not a lot. Not very mu- and he was working out of town at that time.
28:33 Caleb Hammer? Once a week, once a month, once a year.
28:34 Speaker 03 Once a week is... probably three times a month, tops. Tops!
28:40 Caleb Hammer? You broke up with him because of that after you got pregnant?
28:43 Speaker 03 Hold the fuck on. Okay, so I broke up with him not knowing that I was pregnant, and then I found out I was pregnant, and I was already 14 fucking weeks along pregnant, which is like halfway through. So we kept the baby, obviously, and he's just the best little thing. Um, so yeah, we got back together because I was pregnant. And then we broke up again when my son was like, I don't know, two or three, and then found our way back together for whatever fucking reason. Because you try, you try to make it work. You try, but then it doesn't.
29:17 Caleb Hammer? Then you broke up-
29:17 Speaker 03 Listen, when the man doesn't have a-
29:18 Caleb Hammer? And then you broke up a final time and then found an alcoholic-
29:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:21 Caleb Hammer? In two weeks and-
29:22 Speaker 03 I know, I know. From the outside, it looks fucking nuts, I know.
29:26 Caleb Hammer? Has anything in your life not looked bat insane, crazy?
29:29 Speaker 03 Probably not.
29:30 Caleb Hammer? No, I don't think so. Listen, I gotta get into these finances, but- You're wild. And then your chat GPT, it's clearly not working.
29:39 Speaker 03 I use that for everything.
29:41 Caleb Hammer? Well, I'm not anti that. It's a good search engine for sure, but um, okay. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst, 10 being the best. Point five, okay. If you guys want to see where you stand in the world of finances, take our assessment. It's free. Go to Calebhammer.com or click that link in the description below. You can also go to Calebhammer.com/apply to be on this show. I'm gonna jump into venture one. What's going on?
30:06 Speaker 03 That's the one that I still actively spend on, which is mostly like.
30:12 Caleb Hammer? Why the would you do that?
30:14 Speaker 03 Well, that's mostly like um, for travel. Like if I'm traveling.
30:18 Caleb Hammer? So follow up question. Why the would you do that?
30:22 Speaker 03 Oh, because I don't know. Because you need to have one like active for like emergencies and stuff.
30:29 Caleb Hammer? An emergency is $2,687 and travel are not emergencies. This isn't an emergency thing. You went and spent $410 on a credit card that already had a high balance. You spent double what you put towards it as a minimum monthly payment. Well, $46,080 interest is accruing. What are you talking about emergencies? Fuck you, emergencies. This is not an emergency. This is dumb as tits.
30:48 Speaker 03 What was the 410?
30:49 Caleb Hammer? I think we'll find out. How about you should probably know.
30:52 Speaker 03 I know, I know.
30:53 Caleb Hammer? $73 minimum monthly payment. How long does this take to pay off if you do not? If you do not purchase on it and you only do minimum payments, which you're incapable of not purchasing.
31:02 Speaker 03 Here's the thing.
31:03 Caleb Hammer? You're incapable of not purchasing what?
31:04 Speaker 03 Okay, I don't ever, ever just make the minimum payment, ever.
31:08 Caleb Hammer? Doesn't matter because you still spent double what you put towards it. So it doesn't fucking matter. All well, interest is accruing. How long does it take to pay off? Minimum payments only, no purchases.
31:17 Speaker 03 How much is it?
31:18 Caleb Hammer? $2,687 with a minimum payment of $73.
31:23 Speaker 03 Nine years. 15, nine.
31:27 Caleb Hammer? 14.
31:30 Caleb Hammer? Yeah. What are we at that point? Sixty? Sorry. Fifty-one?
31:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:37 Caleb Hammer? Sorry, I was going off your looks.
31:40 Caleb Hammer? We make jokes here. We make jokes here. Every joke is based in reality. Okay.
31:47 Caleb Hammer? We make jokes here.
31:48 Speaker 03 Uh huh.
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32:29 Speaker 03 That's the same one.
32:30 Caleb Hammer? Vons, some grocery, Playstation Network.
32:34 Speaker 03 Okay, wait a minute. Well, hold it. The Playstation Network, in my fucking defense. We gave that Playstation away and I can't, like, I can't get rid of the fucking monthly thing. I don't know what email address or anything.
32:45 Caleb Hammer? Report it. Report the payment.
32:47 Speaker 03 I did, through Capital One.
32:48 Caleb Hammer? Who'd you sell it to? Talk to them.
32:49 Speaker 03 I don't know.
32:51 Caleb Hammer? What?
32:52 Speaker 03 I know.
32:52 Caleb Hammer? How do you not know? You don't know who you gave it to?
32:57 Speaker 03 Facebook Marketplace. I could probably go back.
32:59 Caleb Hammer? So go back. Yeah, you could probably go back instead of paying $10 a month forever.
33:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:03 Caleb Hammer? Yeah!
33:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:06 Speaker 03 I made a minimal effort through Capital One and I was like, don't pay this.
33:09 Caleb Hammer? Minimal, which is the definition of your life. Minimal effort in anything and everything you've done, including your entire career.
33:15 Speaker 03 Well, career, yeah. Yes.
33:17 Caleb Hammer? That's an important part of a life. Communist capitalist, doesn't matter. Careers are important.
33:23 Speaker 03 For some people.
33:24 Caleb Hammer? No, that's an important part of life, not just for you. That's an important part of paying bills, finding purpose. If you're gonna spend the majority of your time at work, do what you like and you have to find your way into it.
33:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:38 Caleb Hammer? And fight for it. Yes, it's an important part.
33:42 Speaker 03 For some people.
33:45 Caleb Hammer? How can I deal with you if you have such immature takes on that?
33:48 Speaker 03 I think that's a common question for everyone. I don't know. I don't know how to deal with me. I'm shocked my baby daddy dealt with me for as long as he did.
33:58 Caleb Hammer? Clearly he didn't because he left three times.
34:00 Speaker 03 I left. I was the lever. I was the lever.
34:04 Caleb Hammer? I'm sure he encouraged.
34:05 Speaker 03 No.
34:06 Caleb Hammer? Listen, total interest $183.42. You're spending money you do not have on a credit card you cannot pay off that is a Korean interest.
34:17 Speaker 03 But, okay.
34:17 Caleb Hammer? Do you at least do side hustles here and there in this extra time?
34:20 Speaker 03 I mean, I could. I could. I could go back to making edibles. I could make a lot of money on the side doing that, honestly, if I wanted.
34:29 Caleb Hammer? Why is that the thing we're doing? I mean, it's legal in California, but you have to be licensed. I'm sure what you're doing was not legal.
34:34 Speaker 03 No, no, it was not legal.
34:36 Caleb Hammer? Oh, were we doing that? What were you making?
34:38 Speaker 03 From 2020.
34:39 Caleb Hammer? I'm sure you didn't pay taxes, right?
34:41 Speaker 03 No. Pay taxes on my drugs? Come on. Um, I did that from
34:46 Caleb Hammer? That's how they get you, though.
34:47 Speaker 03 2020 to 20, like, mid 2023.
34:51 Caleb Hammer? What made you stop?
34:52 Speaker 03 I got burned out. I monetized a I got burned out. I monetized a hobby and I didn't like it anymore.
34:58 Caleb Hammer? Well, I would not recommend doing anything illegal, but what the can we get a side hustle that's perhaps not illegal?
35:04 Speaker 03 Probably.
35:06 Caleb Hammer? What do you enjoy doing in life?
35:09 Speaker 03 Um, like, when I get off work, what do I do? I'll, like, smoke a [BLEEP] and water my plants and stuff. I like plants.
35:17 Caleb Hammer? Oh my goodness, you are such a failure. Oh my gosh, you are such a failure.
35:20 Speaker 03 A lot of people smoke [BLEEP], Caleb.
35:22 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you're doing this every day after work. A lot of people smoke [BLEEP] recule- recule- wow. I can't, it's like, your, your fumes are making me high. Okay, so, recu- rec- rec- rec- rec. Today, Junior?
35:42 Speaker 03 Recreationally.
35:44 Caleb Hammer? Well, uh, that, yeah, but that's not daily. If you're daily, you're on an occurrence and then...
35:50 Speaker 03 What do I like to do in terms that I could monetize and make a side hustle out of?
35:54 Caleb Hammer? What do you like to do? Maybe I can find something.
35:57 Speaker 03 I could work more at the job that I have. I just don't want to.
36:03 Caleb Hammer? So let's find a job, let's find a job that you would be happier to pick up time.
36:07 Speaker 03 Let me tell you, the employment, it's like an opportunities around there are not plentiful.
36:12 Caleb Hammer? Then move.
36:13 Speaker 03 No.
36:14 Caleb Hammer? Why?
36:15 Speaker 03 I, I'm, or my boyfriend and I do want to move, like probably after, I'm sorry, probably after my son finishes high school.
36:24 Caleb Hammer? Why are we waiting until then?
36:25 Speaker 03 Scoot boot, I don't want to leave him now.
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36:58 Caleb Hammer? No, leave, take, oh, in the split custody.
37:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:04 Speaker 03 And what we have now is like good, like we all get along really well together. My baby daddy and my boyfriend and I and my son.
37:12 Caleb Hammer? Do you at least have any savings to show for all this time?
37:16 Speaker 03 So why I don't have savings currently, why I haven't built that back up comes...
37:21 Caleb Hammer? Built back?
37:22 Speaker 03 Back, because I did have some, I had...
37:24 Caleb Hammer? What did you have?
37:25 Speaker 03 I had like three grand.
37:26 Caleb Hammer? Where?
37:26 Speaker 03 Not like woo, but I had...
37:28 Caleb Hammer? Oh, it's money.
37:29 Speaker 03 Okay, yes, well, I had that, but when, back to why I kicked my boyfriend out of the house is because this had all come to a head where I ended up going to jail for felony domestic violence.
37:45 Caleb Hammer? Oh, she's a crazy...
37:48 Speaker 03 But it was a holiday weekend, so I didn't want to be there from Friday morning to Tuesday morning. So I had to use that $3,000 for bail to get out because I didn't...
37:58 Caleb Hammer? I thought you were gonna say domestic abuse isn't applicable during holidays.
38:04 Caleb Hammer? What the fuck did you do? You're insane. Why aren't you here? You scare me.
38:08 Speaker 03 I don't, I browned back in, like, because I don't really remember a lot of, like, the cops getting there and all that, but I do remember being in the cop car in the driveway, and they had put me in the front seat.
38:20 Caleb Hammer? What did they tell you you did?
38:22 Speaker 03 I hit, no, well, what I'm told is that I, I, listen, what I'm told is that I ran out of patience, and I stood up off of the couch, and I said, "Fine, I hit him, just take me." And so then again, in the cop car, I was running out of patience, and they had me in the front, because there was a dog in the back, and I like squiggled around, and was able to open the door and get out of the cop car. And I came up to my porch, I'm like, "What is taking so long? Like, let's go." And then we went. But then I didn't want to be there all weekend, so...
38:50 Caleb Hammer? What the f are you? What the f are you?
38:56 Speaker 03 I know, there's a lot going on, like, all the time.
38:58 Caleb Hammer? Hey, you think this is cute? Look at you giggling.
39:00 Speaker 03 You gotta be that way. I have to be that way.
39:02 Caleb Hammer? You gotta be that way? Let's giggle about us being a horrible parent?
39:05 Speaker 03 He wasn't there, are you kidding?
39:08 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but you're still his mother.
39:10 Speaker 03 I am, I know.
39:11 Caleb Hammer? And you drained your savings to bail yourself out of jail, and you hit your husband, and then escaped the cop car.
39:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:16 Caleb Hammer? What the f did I even just say? That's insane.
39:19 Speaker 03 I mean, all things considered.
39:21 Caleb Hammer? So the felony, where did that go?
39:23 Speaker 03 Away.
39:24 Caleb Hammer? Why?
39:25 Speaker 03 I just had to show up to court, I think, twice, and they dropped it. They never even fully filed it.
39:30 Caleb Hammer? Who was pursuing? Him or the?
39:32 Speaker 03 The DA decided to not pursue charges. Do I look violent to you? I'm not violent. I'm not violent.
39:41 Caleb Hammer? And you're singing George Strait, Garth Brooks?
39:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:45 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
39:45 Speaker 03 Yeah. Me and the cop, not just me. It was not a solo performance.
39:52 Caleb Hammer? She's a Garth fix? Garth Brooks girly?
39:54 Speaker 03 She is. I was, I was telling Lindsay, actually, on our call, that I was kicked out of a Garth Brooks concert once. My third one. Do you want that story?
40:07 Caleb Hammer? No!
40:07 Speaker 03 Alright, back to the finances.
40:10 Caleb Hammer? I, I'm fucking trying!
40:12 Speaker 03 Okay.
40:13 Caleb Hammer? My gosh, I have just insane notes about your spending. How you're just blowing money buying weight loss supplements from China.
40:21 Speaker 03 Oh yeah.
40:22 Caleb Hammer? On the gray market. It was like Ozempic and then you started buying things to lose weight and injecting them from China. Then you started getting into pharmaceuticals from India. You gained a bunch of weight when your boyfriend started dating.
40:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, I did, yeah.
40:36 Caleb Hammer? And now you're still spending $21 for 10 doses of bootleg Ozempic.
40:40 Speaker 03 Trezepatide, there's a difference.
40:43 Caleb Hammer? What the fuck are you doing? And you're reselling it to your friend? What are you, what is your life?
40:51 Speaker 03 Not that bad from like the day to day. It's just when you look at it from the outside, it does look pretty.
40:57 Caleb Hammer? When we put your life together and actually look at it, it's crazy and fucking insane, yeah.
41:05 Speaker 03 Purple!
41:05 Caleb Hammer? 2.74% interest rate on this credit card.
41:09 Speaker 03 The first one? How many? Sorry, say again?
41:12 Caleb Hammer? No.
41:13 Speaker 03 Okay.
41:15 Caleb Hammer? Okay, Quicksilver 1, what's going on with this?
41:17 Speaker 03 Okay, that one, um, I don't spend, I don't spend on that one anymore. I could not tell you the last time I spent on that one and I, um...
41:24 Caleb Hammer? Great, it's only at $3,788.54.
41:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:29 Caleb Hammer? Yay, she's doing so well. Minimum payment, $129. 20 years to pay this one off.
41:35 Speaker 03 But I always pay like $400 on that one a month-ish.
41:39 Caleb Hammer? Nope.
41:40 Speaker 03 What do you mean no?
41:41 Caleb Hammer? That's not how much you put towards it at all, so I don't know what you're talking about. What's the fuck going on? How'd you get into this debt? Do you remember getting into this debt? Did you fucking, is this the story that leads to smoking? I think getting into this debt with you, I don't know at this point.
41:54 Speaker 03 No.
41:54 Caleb Hammer? Did you buy a bunker, a bunch of cockroaches and put them in a bathtub and swim in them? I don't fucking know with you, okay?
42:01 Speaker 03 That particular card has just been a thorn in my side for a long time. I haven't spent on that one in a long time because it has the higher interest rate. So I willy-nilly the other one.
42:10 Caleb Hammer? Twenty-two percent versus like twenty-eight percent, yeah, it's gonna, great.
42:15 Speaker 03 I think, but that is not what's got me like to this. I think if we could circle back to like the traveling. It's like, so last year, just last year, I went to Hawaii twice.
42:30 Caleb Hammer? You do make enough for Hawaii. Mexico maybe, but you have to really budget that in.
42:34 Speaker 03 Now, wait a minute, though. See, Hawaii is not that bad because we wait until the flights are like two ninety-seven.
42:40 Caleb Hammer? You can't afford two ninety-seven.
42:41 Speaker 03 Okay, but then my best friend, her aunt, has a house there. So we don't pay for the house.
42:46 Caleb Hammer? But you pay for food.
42:47 Speaker 03 We don't pay for the rental.
42:48 Caleb Hammer? You pay for food.
42:49 Speaker 03 We pay for food.
42:49 Caleb Hammer? You pay for excursions.
42:51 Speaker 03 Food and the flight. We don't do guided, we do our own thing.
42:54 Caleb Hammer? It still costs money, like rent, like a boat or a paddleboard or to go on them parks and stuff. And food and wine is very expensive.
43:02 Speaker 03 It is a bit. Not, honestly, I thought it was gonna be a lot worse, but with California it's.
43:07 Caleb Hammer? You can't afford anything. I don't know what you're talking about.
43:12 Speaker 03 The hobbies, like the crystals and the plants and the, I could, I guess, see how the plants could be a bit. I do, so I like to go to.
43:21 Caleb Hammer? How much are you spending on these fucking hobbies?
43:22 Speaker 03 Well, I like to go to grocery outlet bargain market because they always have really good plants. And I rationalize, like if the plant is part of the grocery bill, it kind of like doesn't.
43:32 Caleb Hammer? Fuck's sake.
43:32 Speaker 03 It doesn't count in a way.
43:34 Caleb Hammer? You're such a mess.
43:35 Speaker 03 No, I know. The hardware store has really great plants, too. So if ever we have to go to the hardware store, there's always, there's a plant sneaking in there. Cause it's like, it's not like I'm specifically. At my highest. So I got the gastric bypass when I was twenty-one and I was like two hundred and twenty pounds. And I'm five-two.
43:55 Caleb Hammer? How much do you weigh now?
43:57 Speaker 03 One thirty.
43:58 Caleb Hammer? That's incredible. That shows that you have actually one thing in life, thank you. One thing in life that shows that if you want to, you can do it, which that gives me at least a little bit of hope with finances. But man, with everything else, I don't know, you seem fucking crazy, so.
44:16 Speaker 03 I don't see.
44:16 Caleb Hammer? I mean, that's a lot, I mean, ninety pounds, right? So.
44:20 Speaker 03 It's like a whole human.
44:21 Caleb Hammer? Yeah.
44:21 Speaker 03 A little one.
44:22 Caleb Hammer? That's a lot. That's a lot. If I lost weight, if I got down to 160 or 180, would I need fucking sleeve? Not sleeve, uh, what was it?
44:30 Speaker 03 Oh, brachialplasty?
44:32 Caleb Hammer? Wow.
44:32 Speaker 03 Um.
44:33 Caleb Hammer? I don't know. Would I need it?
44:34 Speaker 03 My arms. That, this is abdominoplasty.
44:37 Caleb Hammer? Would I need it?
44:38 Speaker 03 I don't know. I'd have to see without the shirt.
44:43 Caleb Hammer? Hey guys, always ask me, Caleb, what do you invest in? Honestly, I keep it pretty boring. Take a look at this. Take a look at this. This is my investments right here. And this is why you gotta follow me on Blossom if you wanna see just that. A couple of weeks back, I stumbled upon this social investing app called Blossom and thought, alright, let's give it a try. And it turns out, it's actually really cool. And to be clear, they're not a brokerage. Blossom is a completely free social media platform. They're not your typical investing app. It's social, meaning you can follow exactly what I'm investing in, and you can check out my portfolio in real time and even discuss strategies with me and other investors. There's no guessing games, just clear transparency.
45:25 Caleb Hammer? So if you're curious about how I'm investing, or just wanna get smarter with your money, download Blossom right now, and you can follow me at Caleb Hammer. I'll be sharing my exact portfolio breakdown, investing tips, and even responding to your questions. It's totally free, super simple, and way more fun than just guessing stocks alone. So hit that link below, join me on Blossom, and let's grow our money together. Seriously, right now, you can actually see what my portfolio looks like today.
45:52 Speaker 03 The arms though, like, the arms were a way bigger thing than this. I really wanted the arms to go.
46:00 Caleb Hammer? I'm just wondering. The minimum payment is $129 again. It takes 20 years to pay this one off.
46:08 Caleb Hammer? Interest.
46:09 Speaker 03 Too many, too many years.
46:11 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you'll be almost 60 at that one.
46:15 Caleb Hammer? Interest this year so far, almost $500 at 24% interest. It's insane.
46:21 Speaker 03 That's yucky. In my downtime at work, because like I said, I get those like-
46:26 Caleb Hammer? Cause you do nothing, but you're the best at the job.
46:28 Speaker 03 Listen, mother- I am the best at the job. When I'm not there, the-
46:33 Caleb Hammer? The best at clicking a couple buttons.
46:35 Speaker 03 But there's more to it than that. There's, I swear, there's more to it than that.
46:38 Caleb Hammer? Okay, sorry. What were you saying?
46:40 Speaker 03 Falls apart. I'm already worried about the shit that I'm gonna have to walk into tomorrow. Um, what I was saying was in my downtime-
46:46 Caleb Hammer? Somebody didn't get checked out on time.
46:47 Speaker 03 When I was in, or when I'm in my downtime, I sit there and I plan little vacations.
46:53 Caleb Hammer? No.
46:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, because I can get hotel rooms that are cheap as like $45.
46:58 Caleb Hammer? But more goes into a vacation than a hotel.
46:59 Speaker 03 But when the hotel is only $45.
47:02 Caleb Hammer? It helps on the cost, but still, if you cannot afford $45, which you can't, then you can't. Even if something's at a discount, if you can't afford the discount, you can't do it just because it's at a discount. Well, how many trips are we doing?
47:15 Speaker 03 A lot.
47:16 Caleb Hammer? What? How much? 30 hours a week? No future, no retirement? How much?
47:21 Speaker 03 Um, like, well, this trip, I, for to come here, I turned, I turned into a whole-
47:26 Caleb Hammer? But we reimbursed something. Well, what have you done?
47:28 Speaker 03 You reimbursed my flight, yeah. But so I flew into San-
47:32 Caleb Hammer? We're not gonna reimburse your entire vacation if you're making a vacation.
47:35 Speaker 03 I know, I know.
47:35 Caleb Hammer? What are you doing?
47:36 Speaker 03 I flew into San Antonio and we spent two nights there and some like-
47:41 Caleb Hammer? What can you do for two days in San Antonio?
47:43 Speaker 03 You can watch the little friggin' lit up Cinderella carriages go by every minute.
47:47 Caleb Hammer? Okay, go on.
47:48 Speaker 03 What do you mean for one day?
47:49 Caleb Hammer? How much do you travel?
47:51 Speaker 03 A lot. Um, okay, so like I said, so last year I did Hawaii twice. I did Mexico last year-
47:57 Caleb Hammer? This year so far?
47:58 Speaker 03 And this year. Well, in 2025, this year so far, we've done, um, we went up to Monterey, we did Tehachapi, we did this trip. We did, um, oh, we went to Jaobone. We went to Jaobone, um-
48:12 Caleb Hammer? Oh my gosh.
48:13 Speaker 03 With my baby daddy and my son. We did like a little cutesy, um, desert off-road adventure.
48:19 Caleb Hammer? This is fucking insane, dude. You do not make enough money for this.
48:23 Speaker 03 I know.
48:24 Caleb Hammer? You make literally $2,200 a month.
48:27 Speaker 03 I know, I know.
48:28 Caleb Hammer? In California, you make $26,400 a year. Yeah, this is what our child tax credit's funding.
48:33 Speaker 03 Another, the child tax credit funded my car, but another thing-
48:37 Caleb Hammer? Yes, but you couldn't afford a car because you went on vacation. So in reality, it funded your vacations.
48:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, the car was more of a need than the vacations.
48:46 Caleb Hammer? You would have been able to buy the car without a tax credit if you weren't going on vacation. But because you spent all your money on vacations, you used the tax credit to get a car. Do you tell you how that works?
48:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:54 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
48:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:55 Caleb Hammer? I don't know why that was so complicated.
49:01 Caleb Hammer? They're telling me you could have used your mom's car.
49:03 Speaker 03 I did.
49:04 Caleb Hammer? For the vacation.
49:04 Speaker 03 Well, I don't, I don't like to use her car. I had already been using her car. This is what the rush was for to get a car this earlier this year is I was tired of using my mom's car. And I had um the Monterey trip planned for my boy.
49:19 Caleb Hammer? You live in the same house as your mom?
49:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, together, but separately.
49:22 Caleb Hammer? And you have this much debt?
49:23 Speaker 03 Yeah. What are you doing? It's not like we're roommates. It's two houses in one.
49:29 Caleb Hammer? But it's so cheaper. It's a duplex. I get it.
49:31 Speaker 03 No, it's not.
49:31 Caleb Hammer? But it's so cheap.
49:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, all right. It's cheap for me. Yeah, I paid three fifty.
49:37 Caleb Hammer? What the is your life? Oh, and then, oh my, why are we even, why are we enabling you?
49:44 Speaker 03 No, no, no, we're not enabling.
49:46 Caleb Hammer? As a nation and as in a culture.
49:47 Speaker 03 No.
49:48 Caleb Hammer? We need to let you fucking get to the bottom of the barrel so you can wake up and actually fucking grind some shit out.
49:55 Speaker 03 That's what I'm, I'm coming up. I'm growing up.
49:57 Caleb Hammer? You're forty and you're acting like a child. This is a joke.
50:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
50:00 Caleb Hammer? This is a joke.
50:01 Speaker 03 My baby daddy called me Peter Pan for like a really long time.
50:04 Caleb Hammer? Cause he's a pedophile or what?
50:06 Speaker 03 No, cause I'm like a child that won't grow up. A pedophile.
50:10 Caleb Hammer? I don't know.
50:12 Speaker 03 No, cause I'm like stuck in childhood in the land of no responsibility.
50:16 Caleb Hammer? And this is not cute and you have a lot of responsibilities. So what are you talking about?
50:20 Speaker 03 I know, but I'm.
50:20 Caleb Hammer? You have a child. You're a mother.
50:22 Speaker 03 This is step one in the growing up, you know, getting out of the bear.
50:26 Caleb Hammer? You're forty!
50:28 Speaker 03 Almost. I'll be thirty eight on Christmas Eve.
50:34 Caleb Hammer? Are you ever gonna not live with your mom as a forty year old?
50:38 Speaker 03 No, I think when she dies, we're gonna Airbnb that part of the house.
50:42 Caleb Hammer? She owns it?
50:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, she bought it straight out. So the rent that my boyfriend and I paid is just for like the property. No, even when he was not living there, he was, he still was paying two hundred dollars.
50:53 Caleb Hammer? Oh, you were being so enabled and coddled and oh my god, evil existence.
50:57 Speaker 03 I know, I have basically.
50:59 Caleb Hammer? I just hate everything around your life. I don't hate you as a person. I hate everything around your life because it's just supported your horrible behavior.
51:03 Speaker 03 I have spent my life just kind of like floating through.
51:06 Caleb Hammer? Domestic abuse, what did he say happened?
51:09 Speaker 03 He doesn't remember of any.
51:11 Caleb Hammer? Someone had to call the cops.
51:12 Speaker 03 That was either my mom or my best friend.
51:15 Caleb Hammer? Or is she an alcoholic as well?
51:17 Speaker 03 No, she's not. She was just nervous. She was scared about like the fighting and the yelling that was going on, which is, you know.
51:23 Caleb Hammer? Yeah. A mother.
51:25 Speaker 03 Yes.
51:26 Caleb Hammer? You.
51:27 Speaker 03 Oh, I am one of those.
51:30 Caleb Hammer? Kind of. Okay, a thousand nine hundred on this US bank account.
51:34 Speaker 03 Okay, so that one.
51:36 Caleb Hammer? Forty dollar minimum payment, what?
51:37 Speaker 03 That one is.
51:38 Caleb Hammer? Interest free, right?
51:39 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's a, I opened it so that I could move from capital one.
51:43 Caleb Hammer? Put an extra on an interest free card instead of a fucking.
51:45 Speaker 03 What do you mean?
51:46 Caleb Hammer? Card that is accruing, you put extra on this card.
51:48 Speaker 03 What do you mean by put extra?
51:50 Caleb Hammer? You put more than the minimum payment on this card when there's other cards that are accruing interest.
51:54 Speaker 03 Because this.
51:54 Caleb Hammer? Deferred interest?
51:55 Speaker 03 This ends January twenty twenty six, so I'm paying that one off before January twenty.
52:01 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but it doesn't defer interest. Interest just starts accruing on the balance that happened that.
52:05 Speaker 03 What?
52:06 Caleb Hammer? Why'd you even open this then?
52:08 Speaker 03 Because I wanted to move the, well, ChatGPT had the idea. So if I open the zero interest one and move part of my balance over there and then I pay that one off. Which I'm, I'm on track to pay that one off by January twenty twenty six. You see? That one's good. That's a good one.
52:33 Speaker 03 You're gonna make it, I promise.
52:36 Caleb Hammer? I don't know. I don't know if you're gonna make it into your 50s, but I'll at least make it through this episode.
52:44 Caleb Hammer? For you to pay this off. Listen, uh, the thing is, yeah, pay up the cards that are accruing interest. This isn't deferred interest, so whatever balance it is by the time interest starts, it'll accrue at that balance, not at the balance it is today, and you're not getting backwards punished. There's other cards that nearly 30% interest attack those. Or if you want to do snowball in order to whack out minimum monthly payments, yeah, you can attack this first, but it looked like you were trying to do avalanche method, which is highest interest rate.
53:09 Speaker 03 I don't know what that means.
53:11 Caleb Hammer? Snowball method?
53:12 Speaker 03 I'm not a David Ramsey girly. I'm just [__] with you.
53:19 Speaker 03 Go on.
53:23 Caleb Hammer? Snowball me- so you do know it, though?
53:25 Speaker 03 I don't know avalanche. I'm vaguely familiar with snowball.
53:29 Caleb Hammer? What is snowball? Tell me.
53:29 Speaker 03 Littlest to biggest.
53:31 Caleb Hammer? Avalanche's highest interest rate to lowest interest rate?
53:33 Speaker 03 Okay.
53:33 Caleb Hammer? Which is kind of what you're doing, so I assume we were doing that.
53:35 Speaker 03 Oh, no, no. I mean, ChatGPT didn't mention any of those.
53:39 Caleb Hammer? What did ChatGPT tell you to do?
53:41 Speaker 03 To pay that one off first.
53:43 Caleb Hammer? So, snowball.
53:44 Speaker 03 Is that the lowest? Yeah, so then, yeah, pay that one off first.
53:46 Caleb Hammer? Why are you putting extra money to the other cards, then?
53:48 Speaker 03 Because I always put extra money on everything.
53:50 Caleb Hammer? Did ChatGPT tell you to?
53:51 Speaker 03 No, I've been doing that.
53:52 Caleb Hammer? Because that is not a strategy that exists out in the financial world.
53:55 Speaker 03 Is that a problem?
53:56 Caleb Hammer? Yes. Yes.
53:58 Speaker 03 I thought it would be stupid to just make the minimum because half the time that doesn't even cover the interest. I thought it was like better to-
54:04 Caleb Hammer? The snowball method is to unlock the minimum monthly payments that you are putting towards the USA Bank. You take the USBA Bank first, you kill it quick without putting any money extra towards other banks. By the way, no method suggests spending on credit cards, which you did on the first one, so [__] off. But either way, then you take this $40 minimum monthly payment, you roll that into the next debt, then you take that minimum monthly payment and roll into the next debt. That's how you do it. You don't put- no financial person recommends putting more on other cards. Either attack the highest interest rate one, or you attack the lowest balance one. Those are the two strategies. Technically, avalanche will pay it off quicker, but a lot of people find a higher success rate doing snowball because you get quicker psychological wins. And I'd rather get there, have a higher chance of getting there, than getting there quicker at a lower chance.
54:49 Caleb Hammer? Okay?
54:50 Speaker 03 Makes sense.
54:53 Caleb Hammer? You've paid, this must be balance transfer fees, I hope.
54:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
54:57 Caleb Hammer? Sixty-six dollars, or hopefully we haven't had a late.
55:00 Speaker 03 I've never had a late payment, no.
55:02 Caleb Hammer? Okay, why, I don't know why they're asking me this, but they want me to ask you, and this is gonna fucking murder me. What does ChatGPT think about you buying time shares?
55:12 Speaker 03 Okay, that was a long time ago. That was before ChatGPT and I became homies.
55:18 Caleb Hammer? Do you have it now, still?
55:19 Speaker 03 No, no.
55:20 Caleb Hammer? Oh, then I don't get it.
55:21 Speaker 03 No, no, no.
55:22 Caleb Hammer? You're obviously not a credit card person, dude. I mean, this is just absolutely ridiculous. And yeah, there's no defer, and it ends in January twenty twenty-six, but use the Fizz Card. It's a debit card that builds credit. I already told you I'll connect you with therapy, but I'll also get you a course career certification if you ever decide you want to actually have a career at some point. So, but, doubt it. Okay, so what's this? What am I looking at?
55:46 Speaker 03 I needed a new laptop.
55:47 Caleb Hammer? What am I looking at? What is the service?
55:50 Speaker 03 What do you mean? It's either eBay. Oh, it's either a firm or Afterpay. One of the two.
55:54 Caleb Hammer? Okay, thank you, because I saw Afterpay next.
55:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
55:58 Caleb Hammer? My gosh. I don't know why that was difficult. So you affirmed a...
56:01 Speaker 03 A one hundred dollar refurbished laptop. I didn't go crazy.
56:05 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but is that gonna last?
56:07 Speaker 03 I don't use it for mutt. I use it for planning, planning vacations, because that's like big screen activity, you know?
56:16 Caleb Hammer? You have nothing going for you in life. This is a sad existence. This is a sad existence.
56:20 Speaker 03 I'm not sad. Like, I'm not sad.
56:23 Caleb Hammer? You will be.
56:25 Speaker 03 It's a problem for later.
56:26 Caleb Hammer? It's also a problem for your kid.
56:28 Speaker 03 I don't think it's a problem for him at all.
56:31 Caleb Hammer? What do you mean? He's gonna have to defer everything to take care of you.
56:35 Speaker 03 He's really not, though. I would never put that on him.
56:38 Caleb Hammer? No, it's not you doing it intentionally. It's that you did it via your choices still, though.
56:44 Speaker 03 Well, I have, now I have a real job, so I'm like contributing to retirement again. Anytime that I've had a job on paper, I've contributed to retirement. It was just like that.
56:53 Caleb Hammer? Retirement is nothing. It wouldn't even let you survive for a year.
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57:27 Speaker 03 Well, I'm not retiring tomorrow.
57:28 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but you're not that far off either. You're literally 12 years away from being able to take away money from a tax advantage account without early retirement penalties.
57:36 Speaker 03 I'm not doing all that. I'm not doing all that. I'm not.
57:38 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, why would you do things that are good for you? Again, the kid will have to take care of you because you're either ignorant or you're just, you don't give a You don't think you would, but your kid is not going to set aside and they're not just going to let their mom die. Out in the wilderness.
57:52 Speaker 03 I'm not going to be alone in the wilderness. I'm going to have my boyfriend who will be my husband by then.
57:57 Caleb Hammer? Since you guys leave each other constantly, all relationships you've been in.
58:01 Speaker 03 No, not all of them.
58:03 Caleb Hammer? Consistent person. Okay?
58:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, I don't think I'd describe myself as consistent either.
58:12 Caleb Hammer? Exactly. And I need to actually tell you this because people have probably babied your entire life. You are a failure.
58:17 Speaker 03 No.
58:18 Caleb Hammer? Yes.
58:18 Speaker 03 No. Failure adjacent.
58:20 Caleb Hammer? The only reason you're surviving is because your mother has purchased the house and is giving you subsidized rent.
58:25 Speaker 03 No, I would have found another.
58:26 Caleb Hammer? Yes, no, doubt it. You're not willing to work.
58:29 Speaker 03 If I was forced, then I'm sure I would have made it. I would have made it work.
58:34 Caleb Hammer? Let's see what Jack GPT says about this.
58:36 Speaker 03 I'm not suited for like the homeless life.
58:39 Caleb Hammer? Hush now. Dude, you look homeless. Hush now.
58:43 Speaker 03 I do.
58:46 Caleb Hammer? Chat GPT, what would you say about
58:51 Caleb Hammer? a girl having her ex-boyfriend move into her house now that they're technically back together? And they were alcoholics together, enabling their bad behavior when they lived together? And there was a domestic abuse situation where she got arrested and drained her entire savings to get her out of jail because she hit her husband? And the only reason they're able to survive in their house is because their mother subsidized her? Because her mom has actually done a little bit of work in her life to actually set herself up for success, unlike this girl?
59:18 Speaker 03 Is she gonna be nice to me?
59:20 Caleb Hammer? Doubt it. Look at your entire life. Uh, this situation clearly reflects deep rooted financial irresponsibility, ongoing unhealthy behaviors, and enabling dynamic that is likely to repeat or worsen. So, you're enabling each other unhealthily, financial mismanagement unlimited, dependency on external support, uh, yeah, cuz you're incapable of being an adult, yes, we know that. You need to set free, uh, firm boundaries, professional intervention if necessary, and take financial accountability. Nope, nope, nope. Okay, great. So, good luck.
59:52 Speaker 03 I do have pretty good luck. Like, things do tend to just like-
59:56 Caleb Hammer? No, you don't. Your life is not good.
59:58 Speaker 03 It's not bad!
59:59 Caleb Hammer? It's bad.
1:00:00 Speaker 03 Like, that is bad.
1:00:01 Caleb Hammer? Your life is only, you're not, you're only not on the streets because of your mom.
1:00:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:06 Caleb Hammer? That's bad.
1:00:08 Speaker 03 Oh my god.
1:00:12 Speaker 03 But, I mean, if it wasn't her, it would be some, I would be fine without her. I would have found an alternate-
1:00:19 Caleb Hammer? There is nothing to suggest that. You're nothing but a disaster.
1:00:23 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:24 Caleb Hammer? There's nothing to suggest that.
1:00:26 Speaker 03 I would have been fine.
1:00:28 Caleb Hammer? Your existence is horrendous. Everything you've done has been a joke. You wouldn't have survived. I don't see how.
1:00:36 Speaker 03 This is just like one part of life, though. The rest of my life is pretty good.
1:00:40 Caleb Hammer? Shut the f- up.
1:00:43 Speaker 03 Vibe, long, you know?
1:00:45 Caleb Hammer? Okay, well, you owe eighty-one dollars and seventy-seven cents left on this. You make minimum payments of twenty-seven dollars and twenty-six cents. Okay. I don't know. I just, I, it's gonna be really sad when you come on the follow-up show and someone relapsed.
1:00:59 Speaker 03 No, that's not gonna happen.
1:01:00 Caleb Hammer? I hope not, but it's been six months and you already said how you have before. And we know you guys.
1:01:04 Speaker 03 Me, I'm not worried about me. I mean, I'm not worried about him either.
1:01:07 Caleb Hammer? I am.
1:01:07 Speaker 03 No, the two of us together especially do not, we do not know. There will be no drinking. There's no, it's a big no.
1:01:14 Caleb Hammer? It's been six months.
1:01:16 Speaker 03 I know how many months it's been.
1:01:19 Caleb Hammer? I'm not rooting for it, obviously. I'm just like, look at, look how you've lived your life.
1:01:24 Caleb Hammer? You've already had beers. You says you've had one-off beers.
1:01:28 Speaker 03 I have.
1:01:28 Caleb Hammer? You're just one fucking little slip away. You were so close, you were teetering on the edge, and then you're bringing in an enabler into your house to live with you full-time? Dude, I don't know, man. Afterpay, we're purchasing on what? Forty-two dollars, seventy cents of purchases, what?
1:01:44 Speaker 03 The Afterpay, I looked and it is like exclusively.
1:01:48 Caleb Hammer? Sheen, Alter Beauty, Sheen, Sheen! It's not really going to work, is it?
1:01:52 Speaker 03 There's just those two only, because I need those things.
1:01:59 Caleb Hammer? Listen, that's clearly like two-dollar, like lipstick from the party store.
1:02:03 Speaker 03 No, no, I made this.
1:02:03 Caleb Hammer? So I don't know what we're doing.
1:02:04 Speaker 03 I made it.
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1:03:07 Speaker 03 No.
1:03:07 Caleb Hammer? This is a little trip.
1:03:08 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no.
1:03:08 Caleb Hammer? Good.
1:03:09 Speaker 03 No. We talk about that like all the time when we're on vacation and like we see bars and stuff or we always ask like how many beers deep do you think we'd be by now and you know.
1:03:18 Caleb Hammer? Sounds like a very healthy relationship.
1:03:21 Speaker 03 It is.
1:03:23 Caleb Hammer? Okay, I have a note from you. If you were to ask him, my baby daddy would probably tell you I owe him $15,000 for the surgeries because I did do the super shitty cliche thing of breaking up with him. Like a month after surgery, we had been together for almost 12 years. Trust me fam, I earned that 15K in those 12 years with him. Ha ha ha.
1:03:45 Speaker 03 I did, yeah.
1:03:46 Caleb Hammer? What, for dating him? What do you mean?
1:03:49 Speaker 03 For just putting up, listen, he's a great.
1:03:52 Caleb Hammer? Putting up with him, not sticking it in?
1:03:55 Speaker 03 That's it. That wears on a girl, okay? It does. It makes, it fucks with you psychologically, it really does. It sucks to be like turned down all the time. And like you know that other people want to have sex with you, but the one person that you want to have sex with you doesn't want to have sex with you and it sucks. That was just the main one.
1:04:11 Caleb Hammer? So he owes you 15,000 for that?
1:04:13 Speaker 03 No, he don't owe me anything. It's already done.
1:04:16 Caleb Hammer? You said you made it.
1:04:18 Speaker 03 You made what?
1:04:18 Caleb Hammer? The 15,000 from him not fucking you.
1:04:21 Speaker 03 That was the cost of the brachial pasty and abdominoplasty.
1:04:24 Caleb Hammer? You said you don't owe him back because you made.
1:04:26 Speaker 03 I don't owe him that. I don't fucking owe him that.
1:04:27 Caleb Hammer? I earned 15,000 dollars in those 12 years with him.
1:04:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:04:30 Caleb Hammer? Because he didn't diddle?
1:04:32 Speaker 03 Among other things. He's also one of those that's like, I don't know how to do dishes. Like he's one of, he, I did a lot.
1:04:39 Caleb Hammer? Paper plates.
1:04:42 Speaker 03 What about the environment? I'm just with you. I like paper plates a lot.
1:04:48 Speaker 03 No, he's, listen, we just are very, we're not well suited for each other romantically. He's a wonderful father. We're just like, I'm too much for him. He's real like, he does.
1:04:59 Caleb Hammer? Does he fuck her?
1:05:00 Speaker 03 I've asked. He said everything seems to be going fine in that regard, but that's him saying that.
1:05:06 Caleb Hammer? Maybe it's because you're a crazy drunk who smears.
1:05:08 Speaker 03 No, no, no.
1:05:09 Caleb Hammer? And gets them fired from their jobs by sending titties to everyone.
1:05:13 Speaker 03 Well.
1:05:13 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, I think it might be a little bit on you. Come on, you're crazy. We know this.
1:05:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:05:20 Caleb Hammer? Got kicked out of a fucking concert.
1:05:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, but that one too, like, you know how Garth Brooks, he's very like sentimental and he likes to like do the mushy stuff with the fans and stuff?
1:05:31 Caleb Hammer? Did you guys ever get arrested together, you and Baby Daddy?
1:05:34 Speaker 03 No, he, no, no, no, not together.
1:05:36 Caleb Hammer? You're the crazy one.
1:05:37 Speaker 03 No, but he's been, he, he, he's been arrested.
1:05:40 Caleb Hammer? Oh my gosh, what is happening in that town?
1:05:42 Speaker 03 I know. Well, these little mountain towns, there's like not a lot to do besides drink.
1:05:49 Caleb Hammer? Move.
1:05:49 Speaker 03 I know. I don't want to move yet. I'm gonna stay at least until my son's done with high school and then I can
1:05:58 Speaker 03 spread my wings.
1:06:02 Caleb Hammer? Oh, another note.
1:06:03 Speaker 03 What's that?
1:06:04 Caleb Hammer? Oh, I think I do also owe my DUI program like a hundred dollars, but I keep forgetting to call up.
1:06:09 Speaker 03 I think because I missed a couple.
1:06:10 Caleb Hammer? So you're a part of a DUI program?
1:06:12 Speaker 03 Now, I, my, I, okay, I did get a DUI in 2018, but I didn't start taking care. I know, I didn't start taking care of it until.
1:06:21 Caleb Hammer? Joke you are.
1:06:23 Speaker 03 Until 2023.
1:06:24 Caleb Hammer? What a mother.
1:06:25 Speaker 03 I, well, that was a long time ago. It was a long time ago.
1:06:28 Caleb Hammer? We all make mistakes, but my gosh, there's a amount of stacking.
1:06:32 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:06:32 Caleb Hammer? It's fucking crazy.
1:06:33 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:06:35 Caleb Hammer? And still with what you're doing now and your mindset on things, I'm not feeling great.
1:06:40 Speaker 03 I feel great. I feel good.
1:06:47 Speaker 03 I don't feel bad.
1:06:52 Caleb Hammer? So.
1:06:54 Speaker 03 You could just add that to the little.
1:06:55 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, I'm gonna add it.
1:06:56 Speaker 03 I don't.
1:06:57 Caleb Hammer? How many DUIs have you had?
1:06:58 Speaker 03 Two.
1:06:59 Caleb Hammer? Oh my, why?
1:07:00 Speaker 03 One was in 2012 on me and my baby daddy's first date.
1:07:04 Caleb Hammer? What the?
1:07:04 Speaker 03 He should have probably fucking ran then.
1:07:06 Caleb Hammer? What is wrong with you?
1:07:06 Speaker 03 I know, his sister came and picked me up. That was the first time she met me. We're like besties, it's fine now. Um, and then the second one was 2018.
1:07:17 Speaker 03 But I didn't start, I didn't like, I just did nothing until 2023. And now I'm almost done, because it's like an 18-month program.
1:07:27 Caleb Hammer? Oh my gosh, I don't know. ChatGPT hasn't fucking just like told you to shut the fuck up and like go into a forest?
1:07:35 Speaker 03 No, he's really nice to me, like too nice, I think.
1:07:38 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you got enabled from your ex-now-current boyfriend. And now you're being enabled by GPT.
1:07:45 Speaker 03 I've been enabled like my whole life, pretty much.
1:07:48 Caleb Hammer? Okay, student loans, oh my gosh, how much?
1:07:50 Speaker 03 Oh, boy.
1:07:51 Caleb Hammer? Wait, how much in student loans?
1:07:52 Speaker 03 Oh, that's the, that's the big one.
1:07:55 Caleb Hammer? Sixty-eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty-eight thousand student loans at forty? How?
1:08:00 Speaker 03 Because I've never made a single payment in my life.
1:08:04 Caleb Hammer? They can garnish your wages, and this administration is not friendly to people who don't pay student loans.
1:08:08 Speaker 03 Okay, well, hear me out. So I asked-
1:08:11 Caleb Hammer? I guess, I'll try, I'll attempt to hear you out.
1:08:14 Speaker 03 I asked my buddy ChatGPT what to fucking do, and he guided me through, okay?
1:08:21 Caleb Hammer? And what did he guide you to?
1:08:22 Speaker 03 And I signed up for the income-driven repayment thing, and so I-
1:08:27 Caleb Hammer? When?
1:08:29 Speaker 03 I don't know, like two months ago?
1:08:30 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
1:08:31 Speaker 03 Okay. And so I, oh, I pay zero. I have to, I pay zero-
1:08:35 Caleb Hammer? You guys like this? You guys like this?
1:08:37 Speaker 03 I know, no, I know.
1:08:38 Caleb Hammer? Here's the fact, here's the fact. I'm not against social programs at all, because we all pay into it. So you get unemployment if you get unemployed, whatever, that's fine. Some people need help as well. Okay, that's fine. Maybe some people can't pay the student loans for different reasons. She is actively choosing to not make money, because she does not want to work. She is actively choosing to not make money, and then she's able to not pay her student loans by saying, "I'm not making enough money," when she is choosing that? What a fucking joke this is. Why are we enabling her? Why are we enabling her? She gets her fucking child tax credit and chooses not to work, and now she doesn't have to pay on her student loans because she's choosing not to work. What a joke. I swear, you are gonna fucking turn me into someone that just wants to,
1:09:21 Caleb Hammer? you're gonna fucking turn me into, uh, what was his name? I don't even know. Well, I don't, I don't know, but I just want to fucking just end everything, because you guys are crazy. There are people who actually need help, and then you ruin it.
1:09:35 Speaker 03 I did what ChatGPT told me to do.
1:09:36 Caleb Hammer? Yes, but the fact that you're able to is a joke.
1:09:39 Speaker 03 Hey, that's not my problem. I didn't make the rules.
1:09:41 Caleb Hammer? No, it's all of our problem. That's the bad thing.
1:09:45 Speaker 03 I mean like
1:09:46 Caleb Hammer? I'm not against social things either.
1:09:47 Speaker 03 Like you said.
1:09:48 Caleb Hammer? What a joke this is.
1:09:49 Speaker 03 The current administration is like cracking down or whatever, so.
1:09:52 Caleb Hammer? Yes, but your honor, we'll see. I don't know, the fucking head of the Department of Education might be like, you know what, we're not doing this anymore after they see the show. If you see the show, please kick her off of it because she does not deserve it. She should be forced and garnished. She should actually learn consequences of her actions. I can't believe I'm even saying that, but whatever. It's just, it's so stupid that you're even allowed to do this. You specifically.
1:10:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, my baby daddy feels the same.
1:10:17 Caleb Hammer? Drink it all away and then, and here we go. Okay, so how long were you in school?
1:10:22 Speaker 03 Oh my god, forever. I changed my major like a bunch.
1:10:25 Caleb Hammer? So we enable that as well. Good job, society.
1:10:27 Speaker 03 I finally graduated in 2018. I was gonna be a teacher, but then I realized I fucking hate kids.
1:10:34 Caleb Hammer? Well, when did you go to school?
1:10:35 Speaker 03 Forever. I started like, I don't know, I was probably.
1:10:42 Caleb Hammer? How long were you in school?
1:10:43 Speaker 03 I'm thinking, like off and on, probably from the time I was like 20 to however old I was in 2018.
1:10:52 Speaker 03 So if we're in 20, so like 30. Yeah, probably like 10 years.
1:10:56 Caleb Hammer? You were in school for 10 fucking years and now you don't even have to pay back because you refused to work?
1:11:00 Speaker 03 Yeah. And the thing with that is like, I was bad. I would just take out the maximum amount every time, even if like I didn't need it and just, you know, do whatever I wanted with it. But that was a long time ago. And it is a lot of money for a degree that I don't do anything with, you know.
1:11:17 Caleb Hammer? What was your degree?
1:11:19 Speaker 03 Liberal arts. Because I was gonna be a teacher. Because I was gonna be a teacher. And I, I.
1:11:25 Caleb Hammer? You were gonna be in a classroom.
1:11:27 Speaker 03 No, I know. Isn't that crazy?
1:11:28 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, insane.
1:11:29 Speaker 03 I know, right? So I quit my job at the casino with the intention of subbing for a year before going to get my certification, but then the world shut down and I didn't have that opportunity. Thank god. So, yeah.
1:11:44 Caleb Hammer? I wouldn't want you anywhere near a classroom.
1:11:46 Speaker 03 I mean, I could still sub if I wanted.
1:11:48 Caleb Hammer? No. Not after they see this.
1:11:56 Speaker 03 No.
1:11:58 Caleb Hammer? I don't know how your kid has made it.
1:12:00 Speaker 03 He's the best. He wins the spelling bee. He has won the spelling bee every year.
1:12:03 Caleb Hammer? He's won staying alive in spite.
1:12:05 Speaker 03 Yeah. He's a good egg, that one.
1:12:11 Caleb Hammer? He is gonna be resilient, let me tell you.
1:12:14 Speaker 03 He's well traveled. That too. So that was like one of the-
1:12:19 Caleb Hammer? That works fun, but just doing fun things and destroying our life financially isn't what will result in a healthy-
1:12:27 Speaker 00 Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes you make questionable ones, like buying a new TV that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job. Then sometimes you make great ones, like protecting your home and auto with Progressive. You get customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.
1:12:56 Caleb Hammer? Healthy life.
1:12:57 Speaker 03 No. I suppose not.
1:13:00 Caleb Hammer? Suppose not.
1:13:01 Speaker 03 But see with the travel, okay, but with the travel too, like his dad-
1:13:05 Caleb Hammer? So you're paying us zero dollars?
1:13:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, for the next 12 months.
1:13:08 Caleb Hammer? Such a fucking joke.
1:13:09 Speaker 03 And the only reason I knew anything was going to rise because my credit score went from like 720 to like 513 or something asinine. And I realized it was because the student loans started reporting. So then that's when I asked ChatGPT for help.
1:13:22 Caleb Hammer? Gosh, the people, the people that come on the show like you, it just makes me look like the most like conservative person. I promise. I mean, I don't, we don't do politics, but I promise I am pretty neutral down the middle. I'm right on issues, I'm left on issues. I just try to go where the facts are and I will change my opinion every day, any day, whenever new information comes out. But my goodness, people like you. What a joke.
1:13:47 Caleb Hammer? You make me understand the old white people that are like, meh.
1:13:51 Speaker 03 This is what I mean by I've kind of just been able to like float through on like luck and vibes.
1:13:55 Caleb Hammer? It's not luck, it's by the support of all of us. Because you would have been having to pay on these student loans. They would have been garnishing your wages.
1:14:03 Speaker 03 And then from what I can gather like-
1:14:05 Caleb Hammer? We wouldn't be giving you money just because you have a kid.
1:14:06 Speaker 03 If I make the payments on time for 15 years or something, then it all goes away.
1:14:11 Caleb Hammer? If they continue to allow that, we'll see.
1:14:15 Caleb Hammer? Not knocking on wood for you, girl.
1:14:16 Speaker 03 I didn't ask you to.
1:14:17 Caleb Hammer? You should, you should have to actually have at least one piece of responsibility in your life. One.
1:14:23 Speaker 03 I do.
1:14:23 Caleb Hammer? Your mom funds your living situation. You don't have to pay into student loans and you get my taxes because you birthed a child.
1:14:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:14:31 Caleb Hammer? But again, I'm not even against the child tax credit, but look how you're using it. You're using it to travel. That's to take care of the fucking kid.
1:14:38 Speaker 03 I need the car. How am I gonna get his ass to school?
1:14:40 Caleb Hammer? You could have afforded the car if you weren't traveling. It is the mathematical way it works. Exactly. So I don't know why the fuck you're bringing it up. Five hundred, two hundred and fifty dollars in the checking account, two hundred and fifty five dollars in the savings account.
1:14:54 Caleb Hammer? Went, our checking account went down.
1:14:56 Speaker 03 Well, yeah.
1:14:58 Caleb Hammer? Well, yeah.
1:14:58 Speaker 03 It's like a paycheck to paycheck.
1:15:01 Caleb Hammer? By choice, because look at this. Look at this, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and fucking gentlemen, look at that mess!
1:15:12 Caleb Hammer? Two pages of that!
1:15:14 Speaker 03 But at least it's all in.
1:15:15 Caleb Hammer? Shut the fuck up. Jack in the Box, Fortnite, Apple Bill, sporting goods, Afterpay, Stone Throw, Maz.
1:15:24 Speaker 03 Oh, massage.
1:15:25 Caleb Hammer? Jumbo Juice, Door Dashing Denny's, fucking Door Dashing Denny's.
1:15:30 Speaker 03 Oh, that was for my mom.
1:15:31 Caleb Hammer? Afterpay, Amazon, Afterpay, DoorDash, Amazon, Amazon, Taco Bell, McDonald's, McDonald's, Afterpay, Door Dashing, the burger. You! Not even giving him nutritious meals. Going.com.
1:15:44 Speaker 03 Cause it's late on the baseball night.
1:15:46 Caleb Hammer? Shut the f- Xander's something, Amazon, Microsoft, Fortnite again!
1:15:53 Speaker 03 That's for my son!
1:15:54 Caleb Hammer? I don't give a f- get his money you don't have, lady.
1:15:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:15:57 Caleb Hammer? I'm not paying taxes so he can get Fortnite.
1:16:00 Speaker 03 Is that two Fortnights in one month?
1:16:02 Caleb Hammer? Yes. I am paying for his skins.
1:16:07 Caleb Hammer? Instead of being able to hire more employees, I am funding your son's Fortnite skins.
1:16:11 Speaker 03 He appreciates it.
1:16:14 Caleb Hammer? Apple Bill, Venwing out money, Etsy, Zelling out money, Apple Bill, Zelling out money, Verizon, Zelling out money, Apple Bill, Apple Bill. Savings a hundred and sixty one dollars. What a fucking joke. Monthly maintenance fee because you don't have enough in there. What a disgusting joke. Pull up your fucking phone. Pull up your damn stupid phone.
1:16:34 Speaker 03 For what? Which do you want?
1:16:35 Caleb Hammer? For whatever I want.
1:16:36 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:16:40 Caleb Hammer? You look a lot younger in your profile picture.
1:16:42 Speaker 03 What profile pic? Oh, my Apple one? I was younger. That was at a time.
1:16:45 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, ChatGPT, period tracker, iCloud plus, moon X, moon over the something.
1:16:51 Speaker 03 I got rid of that one.
1:16:52 Caleb Hammer? Peak, peak pro.
1:16:54 Speaker 03 Fuck.
1:16:54 Caleb Hammer? Text art and YouTube premium.
1:16:56 Speaker 03 Those are old as fuck.
1:16:57 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, well, some of them are expiring, but you just paid for them recently. So narwhal for Reddit.
1:17:03 Speaker 03 What the fuck is that?
1:17:04 Caleb Hammer? They used to be a big thing, wasn't it? Well, they expired just basically last year.
1:17:07 Speaker 03 Oh.
1:17:08 Caleb Hammer? So let me look at your Amazon.
1:17:10 Speaker 03 Okay, the Amazon my mom and I share. So some of them are hers and some of them.
1:17:16 Caleb Hammer? Meow Mix.
1:17:17 Speaker 03 That's her.
1:17:17 Caleb Hammer? Shampoo bar.
1:17:18 Speaker 03 That's her.
1:17:19 Caleb Hammer? A lock.
1:17:21 Speaker 03 Oh, that was me. I ended up not even needing it.
1:17:22 Caleb Hammer? Sport tampons.
1:17:24 Speaker 03 That's me.
1:17:29 Caleb Hammer? Men's underwear.
1:17:30 Speaker 03 Oh, I got those from my boyfriend, sorry.
1:17:32 Caleb Hammer? Great, because I sent him from.
1:17:34 Speaker 03 No, I was tired of looking at his old nasty underwear. He needed new underwear. So I got him underwear and socks.
1:17:39 Caleb Hammer? I've been getting nagged at. I've been getting nagged at too to get new underwear. I get it. I get it. I guess I understand. Derma rollers.
1:17:46 Speaker 03 Oh, that's me.
1:17:47 Caleb Hammer? What, are you trans?
1:17:49 Speaker 03 No, I'm gonna start rolling my scalp with my Indian pharmaceuticals so that I can grow my hair. More.
1:17:59 Caleb Hammer? Uh, Keurig.
1:18:01 Speaker 03 That's her.
1:18:02 Caleb Hammer? Lots of sprays and just lots of cat things.
1:18:05 Speaker 03 She's got cats. I mean, I got cats too, but.
1:18:07 Caleb Hammer? Apparently a thousand of them. My goodness. Boots.
1:18:10 Speaker 03 Boots?
1:18:11 Caleb Hammer? Boots.
1:18:12 Speaker 03 That's gotta be her.
1:18:13 Caleb Hammer? Boots. Head pods. Okay, this isn't the worst, but there's definitely some in there and we have an expensive cat litter self-cleaning thing in the cart, $229.
1:18:25 Speaker 03 That's gonna be for her. She can't be trusted to clean up after herself.
1:18:29 Caleb Hammer? Great, so she should have cats.
1:18:30 Speaker 03 I, trust me, I know.
1:18:32 Caleb Hammer? Responsible pair we have here. And then you said there was retirement? Where's this retirement?
1:18:38 Speaker 03 Do you want it on here?
1:18:39 Caleb Hammer? I don't know. Well, I don't know. What's your retirement? Just tell me.
1:18:41 Speaker 03 Um, it's from when I used to work at a casino, two casinos.
1:18:48 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you can pull it up if you want.
1:18:50 Speaker 03 I'll try.
1:18:53 Speaker 03 Um, oh, there's more than I thought. Here you go.
1:18:58 Caleb Hammer? Okay, we are in RBC Wealth Management. Not sure. Twenty-nine thousand dollars. Okay. Where should you be right now? In three years, you should be at approximately eighty thousand dollars. So you're dramatically behind. And that's just for having a chance of retirement. Honestly, it's not gonna be good enough, obviously, but that's because your income is low. Why we have it low at eighty thousand dollars? You need to be making money. You need to be making money.
1:19:31 Speaker 03 I put ten percent away of my check right now. They just barely let me start contributing.
1:19:36 Caleb Hammer? Honestly, I would just take the match until you pay off this debt because still even with the best returns.
1:19:39 Speaker 03 I don't have a match.
1:19:41 Caleb Hammer? Then you shouldn't be investing anything. You should be paying off thirty percent debt. Because you're not gonna beat that in the market. Let me see what you're invested in.
1:19:51 Speaker 03 I don't, that's just whatever the man, the financial man, I let him do his thing. I use the same guy that my parents.
1:19:58 Caleb Hammer? You're using a guy for thirty thousand dollars?
1:20:00 Speaker 03 I'm grandfathered into my, under my parents.
1:20:03 Caleb Hammer? You're in some mutual funds, which who knows what the fucking fees are on this shit.
1:20:07 Speaker 03 I have no idea about any of that.
1:20:09 Caleb Hammer? Why?
1:20:10 Speaker 03 I took my 401Ks from my old jobs and I put them there with that guy because I figured he did alright for my parents.
1:20:16 Caleb Hammer? What guy?
1:20:17 Speaker 03 I don't know, his name's Frank.
1:20:18 Caleb Hammer? For fuck's sake, Frank.
1:20:19 Speaker 03 He's a very nice elderly gentleman.
1:20:21 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, he's making money for me. You do not need someone to personally manage thirty thousand dollars. If we're talking a couple of million, then we can have a conversation because you can get some tax savings.
1:20:28 Speaker 03 Are you saying I should take that out and put it elsewhere? Or what?
1:20:31 Caleb Hammer? Well, the thing is, I don't know if, well, you're gonna want to trade in the account so you're not, you're still gonna have to pay capital gains. Well, I'm just, I don't want you to face withdrawal penalties, but I would definitely get out of an actively managed account, that's for sure.
1:20:45 Speaker 03 And then I also have, I got sucked into like the whole GameStop thing. So I do have fifteen hundred dollars in GameStop.
1:20:53 Caleb Hammer? Take it out. Well, what's it invested in? Is it just a random brokerage?
1:20:57 Speaker 03 Fidelity.
1:20:58 Caleb Hammer? Okay, like, but what kind of accounts in there? Just individual accounts, does it know? Is it a Roth IRA?
1:21:03 Speaker 03 You're gonna have to look.
1:21:05 Speaker 03 I think it's just like a day trading like a
1:21:08 Caleb Hammer? Okay, it's an individual account. Sell it, get out. Use that money, put it towards debt.
1:21:12 Speaker 03 You don't think it's gonna go to the
1:21:13 Caleb Hammer? Shut the f**k up. You have 30% debt. I don't give a f**k. I don't give a f**k.
1:21:18 Speaker 03 But my hands are made of diamonds!
1:21:21 Caleb Hammer? Shut the f**k up. I'm sure this guy's taking a percentage of your earnings. He has probably a fee. Let's see what these f**k mutual fund fees have. Or is this his mutual fund? Does he have a mutual fund of his own? I don't know.
1:21:32 Speaker 03 I don't even know what you're asking me.
1:21:35 Caleb Hammer? You have available cash 15,000. Listen, of the 29,000 that's in there, half of it's not even invested.
1:21:40 Speaker 03 You're kidding.
1:21:42 Caleb Hammer? Nope, no jokes were made.
1:21:44 Speaker 03 Oh, that's not good.
1:21:45 Caleb Hammer? Not great.
1:21:46 Speaker 03 So can I move that money without penalty?
1:21:48 Caleb Hammer? You need to talk to him.
1:21:49 Speaker 03 Move it around and about?
1:21:49 Caleb Hammer? You need to talk to him.
1:21:51 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:21:55 Speaker 03 Why would it not be? Why would it just be sitting there not invested?
1:22:01 Caleb Hammer? I don't know. His net expense ratio is 1.12% a year.
1:22:06 Speaker 03 What does that mean?
1:22:07 Caleb Hammer? You're losing 1.12% a year.
1:22:09 Speaker 03 Oh, f**k. Well, that's silly goose behavior.
1:22:14 Caleb Hammer? So you get a return of even 10%, which is the S and P 500. Then all of a sudden, you're losing 1% of that. It's so stupid. This is so f**king stupid. Why are you trusting this guy? Why are you using a f**k financial
1:22:26 Speaker 03 I don't know.
1:22:26 Caleb Hammer? $30,000 with half of it invested?
1:22:27 Speaker 03 I just went along with whatever my parents were doing.
1:22:29 Caleb Hammer? Frank, are you hearing this, Frank?
1:22:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, Frank.
1:22:31 Caleb Hammer? F**k off!
1:22:33 Speaker 03 He's very nice.
1:22:35 Caleb Hammer? He's nice because he's making money off of you.
1:22:36 Speaker 03 That tracks.
1:22:37 Caleb Hammer? He's a salesman.
1:22:38 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah. But if I do it myself, I'm gonna end up putting in a GameStop.
1:22:44 Caleb Hammer? Oh, f**k.
1:22:48 Caleb Hammer? Then maybe it's better with Frank.
1:22:50 Speaker 03 Aye.
1:22:52 Caleb Hammer? I don't know. Pay the fee for you being a moron. I guess that makes sense.
1:22:57 Speaker 03 The silly goose tax?
1:23:00 Caleb Hammer? Not a silly goose, you're a joke. I know that's insulting, but I'm not gonna let you go away and think that you're actually just being cute. You're not. This is embarrassing. Your existence is embarrassing right now. How you are living your life is embarrassing.
1:23:14 Speaker 03 I'm having an okay time.
1:23:15 Caleb Hammer? By the way, the expense ratio, for example, SPY is, instead of 1. whatever the other one was, 0.09.
1:23:23 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:23:23 Caleb Hammer? So dramatically less. Dramatically less. Or, for example, VOO, Vanguard's, 0.03.
1:23:35 Caleb Hammer? Why pay these expenses? No, it's so stupid. And I guarantee you mutual funds rarely beat the S and P 500. It's like something like 20% do.
1:23:45 Speaker 03 Then why did you pick that? Why did he pick mutual funds?
1:23:48 Caleb Hammer? I think that's his own actively managed fund. I don't, I don't know for sure. I don't know Frank. I don't know what he's doing.
1:23:58 Speaker 00 Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes you make questionable ones. Like buying a new TV that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job. Then sometimes you make great ones. Like protecting your home and auto with Progressive. You get customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers not available in all states.
1:24:28 Speaker 03 So you think, okay, get rid of the GameStop and do what with it?
1:24:31 Caleb Hammer? Put it towards that.
1:24:32 Speaker 03 Put it on a credit card? Or put it, put it towards the credit card?
1:24:35 Caleb Hammer? Yeah. Your minimum monthly payment debt totals are $269.26 a year. What is your rent?
1:24:44 Speaker 03 Um, 350.
1:24:44 Caleb Hammer? What about utilities?
1:24:46 Speaker 03 Uh, so the gas is, it varies.
1:24:49 Caleb Hammer? Come on, average utilities.
1:24:50 Speaker 03 Let's say $70 a month.
1:24:54 Caleb Hammer? Including the internet?
1:24:55 Speaker 03 No, no, that's the gas. Okay, so I pay for the gas. Hold on, I pay for the gas and the trash. She pays for the internet and the electric.
1:25:02 Caleb Hammer? How much is gas and trash?
1:25:03 Speaker 03 The trash is 160 every three months.
1:25:06 Caleb Hammer? Okay, 160 divided by three plus 70. Your utilities are $134 a month. Okay, great. Got it. Phone bill?
1:25:16 Speaker 03 Oh, 160.
1:25:19 Speaker 03 I know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get a different, I know. I know, I just paid my phone off. It's paid off, so now I can switch to one of the...
1:25:25 Caleb Hammer? You can use any of them. We like helium because he uses T-Mobile towers. And I use T-Mobile, so. And if I was on a budget, I'd switch to helium. But do you owe your phone?
1:25:32 Speaker 03 No, I just paid it off. Like just paid off.
1:25:34 Caleb Hammer? So you'll switch to that?
1:25:35 Speaker 03 I'm gonna switch.
1:25:35 Caleb Hammer? Okay, I'll put in 30 bucks a month. One line, just one. You don't need your kid to have a line, right?
1:25:39 Speaker 03 No, no, he's on his dad's.
1:25:40 Caleb Hammer? Okay, good. Yeah, it sounds like that's why your kid's surviving. Okay. Gas, room from drive, drive, how much?
1:25:46 Speaker 03 Uh, like, probably like 200.
1:25:49 Caleb Hammer? You don't have a car payment, do you?
1:25:50 Speaker 03 No.
1:25:51 Caleb Hammer? Okay, what's your car insurance?
1:25:52 Speaker 03 133.
1:25:53 Caleb Hammer? How do you have a paid off car?
1:25:55 Speaker 03 Because I bought it off Facebook Marketplace.
1:25:57 Caleb Hammer? That's right, because you got a loan from your ex baby daddy because you've never been able to do anything on your own. That's correct.
1:26:02 Speaker 03 That is correct.
1:26:03 Caleb Hammer? So you only have the kid half the time?
1:26:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:26:06 Caleb Hammer? How do groceries work in the house with mama involved?
1:26:08 Speaker 03 She listened to me.
1:26:09 Caleb Hammer? Are you guys fully?
1:26:10 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:26:11 Caleb Hammer? I'm just, oh, I'm checking because I need to buy you.
1:26:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:26:13 Caleb Hammer? Hush now.
1:26:14 Speaker 03 Hot groceries?
1:26:14 Caleb Hammer? $450 should be able to do you and the kid meal prep. I don't care. Use our budget friendly cookbook. You guys get the signed version if you take the annual version of our budget nap TP fund. I'll give 150 bucks. Anything you and the kid need, extra, like the sports tampons. Shove them in his butt, whatever you gotta do.
1:26:31 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:26:31 Caleb Hammer? Medical healthcare, anything else, uh, anything copays?
1:26:35 Speaker 03 Uh-uh.
1:26:36 Caleb Hammer? What's your health insurance situation?
1:26:38 Speaker 03 I'm on poor people insurance.
1:26:40 Caleb Hammer? By choice?
1:26:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, by choice. What do you mean by choice?
1:26:44 Caleb Hammer? You're choosing to be poor because you're not working?
1:26:46 Speaker 03 Yes, by choice.
1:26:47 Caleb Hammer? So fuck off, why are we enabling that? I don't know.
1:26:51 Speaker 03 I think the threshold is like pretty high in California to be on that insurance, you know? Because I have my, me and my son on that insurance. And that's going to fuck everything up. Like if I do start working more, I probably would have.
1:27:02 Caleb Hammer? Be responsible for your own bills.
1:27:03 Speaker 03 Well, he would have to go on his dad's.
1:27:05 Caleb Hammer? Don't rely on the taxpayer. What a joke, just so you don't have to work, fuck off.
1:27:08 Speaker 03 Oh, my God, that's not why I don't want to work.
1:27:10 Caleb Hammer? Nasty joke. So nothing, no copays, no nothing?
1:27:14 Speaker 03 No, no, no.
1:27:15 Caleb Hammer? Okay, Jim?
1:27:16 Speaker 03 Um, no.
1:27:18 Caleb Hammer? Uh, no, I'll give you $40 a subscription. You choose where it goes. How many pets you got?
1:27:25 Speaker 03 I have two cats and then when.
1:27:26 Caleb Hammer? Health and age?
1:27:27 Speaker 03 Uh, one is a baby. One was born February 10th and the other one is like five.
1:27:32 Caleb Hammer? Okay, get them both pet insurance. I'm gonna.
1:27:34 Speaker 03 But there's going to be a dog when my boyfriend moves back in too.
1:27:37 Caleb Hammer? Age, health?
1:27:38 Speaker 03 She was born January, he's a year and some months.
1:27:41 Caleb Hammer? Health?
1:27:42 Speaker 03 Unfortunately, very good.
1:27:43 Caleb Hammer? Good, okay, 100, you don't like it?
1:27:45 Speaker 03 I don't, I never didn't want a dog. I didn't want a dog.
1:27:48 Caleb Hammer? Why, they actually do things and have personalities. Okay, $150 for pet insurance.
1:27:53 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:27:53 Caleb Hammer? How much for pet food on a monthly basis?
1:27:56 Speaker 03 Uh, probably like 60? If you put both of them together, 60, cat and dog, 60.
1:28:03 Caleb Hammer? Anything else that needs to be in your budget that I have not taken into account?
1:28:07 Speaker 03 Let me think. I mean, it's not like monthly. It's probably more like every three months. I do like to make big purchases on the Chinese gray market.
1:28:17 Caleb Hammer? No, you don't. That's gone. That's canceled.
1:28:19 Speaker 03 That's like a, but it's like-
1:28:20 Caleb Hammer? Don't give a [__] You're prioritizing life. Listen, you don't have much wiggle room.
1:28:24 Speaker 03 I just prioritize-
1:28:25 Caleb Hammer? No, you don't. Shut the [__] up. Shut the [__] up. $1,966.26 is how much you need to survive. You are lucky you have wiggle room. It's all because other people enable you. 300 or...
1:28:38 Caleb Hammer? You have $233.74 left. Student loans, I'm gonna take that out of account for not what?
1:28:45 Speaker 03 But that's only making the minimum monthly payments, right?
1:28:48 Caleb Hammer? Yes.
1:28:48 Speaker 03 I don't do that. I make more.
1:28:50 Caleb Hammer? Shut the [__] up. We're budgeting.
1:28:51 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:28:52 Caleb Hammer? Your minimum required, and then we're deciding where the rest of your money go. What the [__] are you?
1:28:56 Speaker 03 A mess.
1:28:57 Caleb Hammer? $92,386. By choice. And it's not cute. Let's get rid of the student loans for now. We'll figure that out once you have to start making payments, and then I'll just do a traditional payment plan or income-driven, if that still exists by that point. $23,600... $23-
1:29:16 Speaker 03 What?
1:29:17 Caleb Hammer? No, we're minimizing, we're minusing the baby daddy debt, I guess, right?
1:29:21 Speaker 03 No, no, that's not real. Yeah.
1:29:23 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so $8,618.54 is bad debt, divided by your extra-
1:29:28 Speaker 03 That's it.
1:29:28 Caleb Hammer? $233. That's it. You have no respect for the dollar, because you've just been enabled your entire life, and then we've paid for you. What a joke you are. Oh, I'm disgusted. Takes three years to pay off your debt. Good [__] luck. I'm disgusted. I'm ending it.
1:29:40 Speaker 03 That's not bad.
1:29:40 Caleb Hammer? I'm disgusted. I'm ending it. It's not bad.
1:29:44 Speaker 03 It's not bad.
1:29:45 Caleb Hammer? How is it not bad?
1:29:46 Speaker 03 No, three years is not bad. Like, that's really doable.
1:29:49 Caleb Hammer? Three years if you budget off of nothing, which is what I gave you.
1:29:53 Speaker 03 But I'm gonna have another human in the house with me. I'm gonna have my boyfriend with me, and that's gonna be helpful.
1:29:57 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, until not again. So-
1:29:59 Speaker 03 That's not getting it.
1:30:00 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, it's only happened historically throughout your entire life. What the [__] are you talking about? You're not cute, you're not funny, you're disgusting, and you have a child that you need to take care of. You're a mother.
1:30:14 Speaker 03 I take great care of him.
1:30:16 Caleb Hammer? No you don't.
1:30:16 Speaker 03 I do.
1:30:17 Caleb Hammer? No. He exists because of your [bleep] baby daddy, and he, his parents have means. You're a joke. You go to jail, you get DUIs, you smear poop, you get people fired, you do revenge [bleep], you just go on vacations, you don't work, you suck the ten of the taxpayer on multiple fronts. You are a joke. You are a joke, and I'm not gonna let you think you're a good person. I'm not gonna let you think that you are cute or funny. I'm gonna tell you how it is, even if it is mean, even if it is brutal, cuz I cannot have you walking around thinking you are something more than you are. You need to change this, you need to change your behavior, you need to change your life, because it's embarrassing and it sucks for the rest of the people around you. Join Hammer Elite, description below, best YouTube membership on the platform, and it's the second largest by subscribers and stuff.
1:31:01 Caleb Hammer? So, thank you for that, we appreciate it, and that's for a reason, because we have lots of extra dedicated shows and a lot of things, and it really helps support the channel. Thank you so much, make sure you join that, but I'm gonna do the Hammer Financial Score, spending a budget, you overspent, so zero out of ten. Debt, it's bad, bad, I'm surprised you don't have collections.
1:31:19 Caleb Hammer? The student loans is rough, I'm gonna give you a two out of ten.
1:31:21 Speaker 03 I don't know how the timeshare didn't go in collections, that just kinda went, nah. I think it's some weird, like, real estate, like, loophole thing.
1:31:29 Caleb Hammer? What?
1:31:30 Speaker 03 The timeshare.
1:31:31 Caleb Hammer? You just stopped paying?
1:31:32 Speaker 03 Cuz I stopped paying on my half altogether, he paid his half off. They did send a few, like, like, um...
1:31:39 Caleb Hammer? I hope it's in collections. I hate timeshares, but you deserve it.
1:31:42 Speaker 03 I look all the time.
1:31:43 Caleb Hammer? Emergency fund, nothing, zero out of ten. Retirement, you're behind by...
1:31:49 Speaker 03 A few years.
1:31:50 Caleb Hammer? What, what was in it? It was like thirty?
1:31:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:31:52 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, thirty.
1:31:55 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, about a three out of ten there. Real estate, zero out of ten. Timeshare, don't count.
1:32:02 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no.
1:32:04 Caleb Hammer? No, no. No, we don't. Hammer Financial Score, one out of ten. Join us in the post.
1:32:12 Caleb Hammer? Shut the fuck up. Join us in the post-show. I'm gonna somehow survive that extra 20 minutes of the show. Oh sh**. Oh sh**. Oh sh**. What? I have all the screenshots. Yes, you do. Am I allowed to? Yeah. Oh, this is good drama. He says, "Oh, f***, blowing my things. One of the hottest things I've ever seen. I can't keep texting you, f***." He was ready, f***er. You can call him and confront him. You were totally gonna f*** Lee for her name, weren't you?
1:32:37 Speaker 04 No, hell no. What are you talking about?
1:32:39 Caleb Hammer? Buddy, you proposed to meet up with her. Oh, her face is in this one. It's this image, ladies and gentlemen.
1:32:47 Caleb Hammer? exclusive members content. Click the link in the description or pinned comment below and watch thousands of hours of extra and uncensored content.
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Previous His Wife Chooses Pleasure Over Children | Financial Audit Next His Wife Stormed Off Financial Audit Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated