Bonus #164 - Cheeks Brothers Vol. 2: In the Valley of the Kush

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Enter the Cheeks realm known as the Valley of the Kush. The braintrust behind Stavvy Baby Enterprises take another psychedelic retreat, transporting to the otherworldly domain with Benny “Mr. Cheeks” O’Brien at the helm, and smoking kush (the only thing that distinguishes this rich series from Cheeks Brothers). Cheeks Man, Eldy and Stav ruminate on deep topics like what character tropes each of them would be on their fantastical journey, whether Eldis’s drawing of his dog is any good, and what they’re going to order for dinner. Our big-brained travelers help callers including a woman who’s pissed her husband killed the mood when they were getting hot and heavy by eating two string cheeses, a beer truck driver who wants tips on drinking more responsibly, and a man who thinks he saw a ghost. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:20Speaker 01

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• 0:49Speaker 02

  Hi, Sabros, hi, Aldis, hi, gorgeous guests. I have a marital dispute I would love for everyone to weigh in on.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  I've been with my husband for 10 years, we've been married for five, we're in our mid 30s. And a few nights ago, we're on the couch, little stony baloney. And you know, I was starting to feel a little horned up. I was trying to make some triludes to the bedroom and finally like get the ball rolling to get my stony baloney husband upstairs. And I'm posted up, I'm in the bedroom, I'm ready to go. And when he gets into bed, he has a string cheese.

• 1:34Stavros Halkias?

  A string cheese, respect.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  I was so offended in the moment that there was a delay of game for a string cheese. And he finishes the string cheese and then he pulls out a second string cheese and he insists he has to eat both.

• 1:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, two is awesome. Respect. That's a, I had some incredible respect to this guy.

• 2:03Stavros Halkias?

  The ones, I was about to be like, listen, you're allowed to have a snack. If, I would have been mad if he didn't bring you or offer you any, but I'm like, you get, but opening up a fresh string cheese, that can't, that's crazy.

• 2:20Stavros Halkias?

  This thing is awesome. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Well, fuck it, since I have this second string cheese.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  And

• 2:29Speaker 02

  I love him so much, but to me, this is like

• 2:32Stavros Halkias?

  Although, I don't know, I could see this.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Rude.

• 2:35Stavros Halkias?

  Actually, I could totally, I could see myself doing this.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  An impatient bride, but sometimes it kills the mood a little bit to have to watch your man eat two string cheeses.

• 2:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Before you smooch up. So would love to know, um, what y'all think? He insists that the string cheeses gave him stamina.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  And I'm really, my, my current solution has been just to push us to more, uh, non-stoned sex.

• 3:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  I would love to know if you think that that was a delay of game, red flag fall? Can I lord this over him and beat this horse to death as a joke every time we go to smooch? Where's your string cheese at? Should I let it go?

• 3:28Speaker 02

  And do you prefer to snack before sex? Thank God.

• 3:31Stavros Halkias?

  No, I absolutely like to have a nice snack after.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I have the string cheeses in my, like tucked in my underwear for right after.

• 3:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right after, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a cooler, I like, I have a cooler by the bed to keep them warm.

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'd like, I like to eat afterwards in a very much like, it's a reward for getting pussy to myself. It's like rewards stacked on rewards.

• 3:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:58Stavros Halkias?

  Nice fucking, some ice cream, some, you know what I mean? A little leftover.

• 4:02Speaker 04

  You're cheersing yourself.

• 4:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, a salut.

• 4:07Stavros Halkias?

  But, and that's why I'm like, I'm trying to put my head in his, put myself in shoes.

• 4:12Speaker 04

  This would annoy me if I was her, this would annoy me.

• 4:15Stavros Halkias?

  It's an

• 4:15Speaker 04

  But it's a really easy thing to just be like upset about in a funny way.

• 4:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  And to make it a joke.

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but I also see, okay, I think technically you're allowed to snack before sex, right? Quick snack.

• 4:30Stavros Halkias?

  And I think it's reasonable to say my snack is two string cheeses.

• 4:37Stavros Halkias?

  So I think.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  Interesting. You came down on that side.

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  I don't.

• 4:44Speaker 04

  I think with handicap, that's one string cheese.

• 4:46Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not saying I come down on the side. I'm trying to reparse the argument here. I'm trying to even, I'm trying to play devil's advocate and see if how, what, what, if I were this position, what my argument would be. And it would be that for me, the two string cheeses is just one, constitutes one snack. I'm a big guy. I just wanna, I just want a lot of string cheese. Once I'm finished that, we can, you know, we can suck and fuck or whatever.

• 5:15Speaker 05

  I respect the fat logic there.

• 5:17Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 5:19Speaker 05

  However,

• 5:21Speaker 05

  I will say, the facts, as she's laid them out, this guy has no defense.

• 5:28Stavros Halkias?

  The sec, is the second one? The first one even, there's no defense?

• 5:32Speaker 05

  The first one you can get a pass, but like, the second one is just.

• 5:36Stavros Halkias?

  Second is crazy.

• 5:38Speaker 05

  It's crazy. Cause she said they were already like smooching.

• 5:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  They were getting in the zone.

• 5:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  And what did she say? He gets into bed. When he gets into bed, he's on string cheese number one.

• 5:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he gets into bed?

• 5:52Speaker 05

  She says.

• 5:53Stavros Halkias?

  I thought he was just like, he didn't come to bed because he was eating them or whatever.

• 5:56Speaker 05

  She says, I'm posted up in the bedroom. I'm ready to go. And when he gets into the bed, he has a string cheese.

• 6:01Stavros Halkias?

  Into the bed?

• 6:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:04Stavros Halkias?

  He didn't like eat it outside?

• 6:05Speaker 05

  He's bringing the snack. Once you start like making out and you move to the bedroom, sex has begun.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. That's true.

• 6:11Speaker 05

  So it's very bad form.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:15Speaker 05

  To break, to, to bring the snack. Who knows where he, maybe he had the string cheese on the coffee table next to the bowl. Uh, you know, and he like just picked it up, but even still, you can't bring it to the bedroom and like.

• 6:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It's a weird, it's a very strange move.

• 6:32Speaker 05

  And pulling out two.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  It would annoy me. It would annoy me a lot.

• 6:35Speaker 05

  And pulling out two is like egregious.

• 6:37Stavros Halkias?

  The move to the bedroom is like, yeah, you're right. It's not, you're gonna fuck.

• 6:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's weird to pause that moment.

• 6:44Speaker 04

  It's like you could just eat the string cheeses afterwards.

• 6:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 05

  And you know, he's high.

• 6:49Stavros Halkias?

  In a perfect world, that's almost like. You would like to fast forward from the couch to the bedroom so there's no time elapses.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:57Stavros Halkias?

  You kind of take an annoying, you know, eight seconds off or whatever.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Eight seconds, I feel like eating two string cheeses.

• 7:02Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean like walking to the bedroom. Usually it's like annoying, but two string cheeses like that turns it into like, you have to go get them.

• 7:09Speaker 05

  That's a moot killer.

• 7:11Speaker 04

  I mean, it's very, very understandable that that might not make you feel like awesome.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's also just, I also wouldn't burn it into the ground, but if he ever did it again.

• 7:22Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 7:22Stavros Halkias?

  You get to uncork in a wild way.

• 7:25Speaker 05

  That's, that's what I was gonna say.

• 7:26Stavros Halkias?

  Just make it clear like, look, that was fucking weird. It was like, and it's not even just the string cheese. Like imagine if right in the middle of fucking, you just checked your phone for five minutes.

• 7:36Speaker 04

  No, it's, it, uh, yeah.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  And just say, please don't, you know, just don't do that shit again. If he does again, then you can be like, all right, you're fucking, then you can never let him hear the end of it.

• 7:45Speaker 05

  That's what I was gonna say.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  It's so funny. It's such a funny thing.

• 7:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's also a super long-term relationship. Like, but still you gotta keep a little mystique here, man.

• 7:54Speaker 04

  Totally. Yeah, that's the point.

• 7:56Stavros Halkias?

  You can't be getting ahead and be like fucking peeling a banana.

• 7:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 05

  Don't, don't beat him over the head with it. He gets a couple of fun, oh, you know, don't get a string cheese. My pussy's wet or something. You have a couple of those, but you know.

• 8:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 8:11Speaker 05

  It's, it's hard to judge a man by what he does in the heat of the moment.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 8:14Speaker 05

  You know?

• 8:15Stavros Halkias?

  And I did, I want it on record, I tried to support, I tried to argue from a fat perspective. I did try it.

• 8:23Speaker 04

  You're the fat lawyer.

• 8:24Stavros Halkias?

  I'm the fat lawyer.

• 8:26Speaker 05

  And clearly, and clearly, you know, they were stoned. She said they had a good laugh about it.

• 8:31Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 8:31Speaker 05

  This is all in good fun.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  They were stoned. That, that's actually, that makes it a lot, a lot better.

• 8:37Speaker 05

  But yeah, he can't do this again.

• 8:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:39Speaker 05

  If this becomes a pattern.

• 8:41Stavros Halkias?

  Now he can only come right after each string cheese. He has to or he won't nut. Interesting.

• 8:58Stavros Halkias?

  Hey listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.