MFM Minisode 463

This week’s hometowns are Thanksgiving-themed! Stories feature a celebrity stopping by dinner and Grandma’s kitchen. For our sources, please visit https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/episodes. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Head to social media to share your favorite moments from this episode. Instagram: instagram.com/myfavoritemurder http://instagram.com/myfavoritemurder Facebook: facebook.com/myfavoritemurder http://facebook.com/myfavoritemurder TikTok: tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder http://tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder Watch full episodes of My Favorite Murder on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@my_favorite_murder Send your hometown stories to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. Join the Fan Cult to access ad-free episodes of My Favorite Murder. Members also receive merch store discounts, exclusive audio and video content and more! Visit www.fancult.supercast.com http://www.fancult.supercast.com/ to join. Shop for My Favorite Murder and other Exactly Right merchandise here: www.exactlyrightstore.com https://www.exactlyrightstore.com. Rate, review and follow My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Speaker 01

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• 0:34Speaker 02

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• 1:10Speaker 03

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• 1:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello.

• 1:59Karen Kilgariff?

  And welcome.

• 1:59Georgia Hardstark?

  To My Favorite Murder.

• 2:00Karen Kilgariff?

  The mini-episode for Thanksgiving.

• 2:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Thanksgiving episode. You love Thanksgiving.

• 2:04Karen Kilgariff?

  You love a special Thanksgiving episode. This is like Charlie Brown, kind of.

• 2:10Georgia Hardstark?

  What's the one dish that you have to have at Thanksgiving that like it has to be made? Your favorite?

• 2:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my sister's mashed potatoes, which used to be my mom's mashed potatoes, which are the most calorically dense.

• 2:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Just half butter, half butter?

• 2:22Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, half butter. She does a little bit of mayonnaise, a bunch of butter.

• 2:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Sour cream?

• 2:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Sour cream. They're just insane.

• 2:31Georgia Hardstark?

  You know what my aunt does is she puts paprika on top of them and puts it in the oven for a minute to get a crispy paprika crust on top.

• 2:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 2:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. You want to go first?

• 2:39Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm so hungry. Okay. I love this goddamn story. Surprise Thanksgiving guest, celebrity edition.

• 2:47Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 2:48Karen Kilgariff?

  And I feel like we could do this for any holiday.

• 2:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 2:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Even for no holiday.

• 2:52Georgia Hardstark?

  What celebrity came to your?

• 2:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Came to your house for some weird reason.

• 2:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes, yes.

• 2:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Blanket Patch, one of my favorite stand-up comics who I've known my whole life, basically had an amazing story where he went to Thanksgiving with his wife and at her family's. And Neil Diamond was one of the guests. He does a whole chunk about it, but yeah, it was like he was dating a person that was crazy.

• 3:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit, okay.

• 3:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. And this starts, hello, MFM fam. Thank you for the countless hours of entertainment. And then in parentheses, it says, I discovered you in early 2021 and spent most of the pandemic trying to get through the backlog. Let's call it the back catalog since it's different than.

• 3:29Georgia Hardstark?

  The backlog.

• 3:31Karen Kilgariff?

  You're not Mariska Hargitay. Come on.

• 3:32Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right.

• 3:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Your advocacy and the community you have built. We didn't build it. You guys built it. We didn't do it.

• 3:40Georgia Hardstark?

  We appreciate it, though.

• 3:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. Your voices took me through a cross-country move, Edmonton to Ottawa, and now a major career change, and for that I am grateful. Now let's get after it. When I was in elementary school, my family became good friends with another family who'd moved to Toronto for the dad's work. My younger sister quickly became close friends with the twin girls who were her age, and I had not a moment's peace at any family gathering from then on. And then in parentheses, it says, all I wanted to do was read.

• 4:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 4:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Hi. This is not about that. Every year, my family hosts Thanksgiving dinner. And because we had no family in town, we always dubbed it that this is for the family we choose. The best. So naturally, my parents invited this family, along with a few others in our friend group. The response back from the mom was that they could not make it as her childhood friend from Australia was in town and they were spending the holiday with him and his wife. My parents have always been the throw more potatoes in the pot types and of course insisted that they still come and bring their friends. No more thoughts about it. The day comes, the turkey is roasting in the oven, stuffing is made, the table is set, and my mother has made a soup for the starter. Guests start arriving and eventually, everyone is there except for our Aussie's childhood

• 4:54Karen Kilgariff?

  friend. The doorbell suddenly rings, my mom goes over to answer it, and who is at the door other than motherfucking Guy Pearce?

• 5:02Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 5:04Karen Kilgariff?

  He apparently looked up his old pal while he was in town filming, and then it says in parentheses, likely traitor with Don Cheadle based on my Wikipedia sleuthing.

• 5:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god.

• 5:13Karen Kilgariff?

  By all accounts, my parents played it cool until my dad was well in his cups and made Guy unbutton his shirt to quote, "show them what he was working with."

• 5:22Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 5:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, dad, yes.

• 5:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Show us.

• 5:26Karen Kilgariff?

  And the answer was washboard abs.

• 5:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Sure.

• 5:28Karen Kilgariff?

  And Guy was absolutely lovely, even participating in an after dinner, what they called turkey fondue, which is when you take the leftover turkey and dip it in the gravy left in the pan. So basically, just as people probably are washing the dishes and stuff, they call it turkey fondue.

• 5:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, I love it.

• 5:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Just like dip the turkey in the gravy. And it says, unfortunately, no one had given us a heads up that his wife was vegan, so my mom may have had to stretch the truth on the broth used in the soup.

• 5:54Georgia Hardstark?

  You've gotta give people a heads up.

• 5:57Karen Kilgariff?

  I know. That's a little specific. In parentheses, it says, "Is this vegetable based?"

• 6:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god.

• 6:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Asked Mrs. Pearce. "Yes," said my mom, cringing internally knowing it was chicken broth.

• 6:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit, you can't do that!

• 6:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, she did it. I do not remember this as I was nine and I did not care for any celebrity that wasn't a Jonas brother.

• 6:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Sure.

• 6:17Karen Kilgariff?

  It became a lot more exciting when bedtime stories came out a year later and I could tell my friends that the mean hotel manager had been to my house for dinner. Sadly, our friends moved back to Australia after only five years in Canada, but I'll always look back at our time as kids fondly. And those twins and their sisters have grown up to be badasses in their own right. My sister has also grown into a young woman I'm so proud of and is the coolest person I know. And then in parentheses, it says, "I keep trying to get her into the pot."

• 6:46Georgia Hardstark?

  (laughing)

• 6:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Don't, don't do it.

• 6:49Georgia Hardstark?

  She doesn't wanna.

• 6:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Don't, don't force anybody. It ends by saying, "Remember, family isn't always about blood. It's who you choose. And always throw another potato into the pot. You never know who will come for dinner." SSDGM Emma.

• 7:02Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it.

• 7:03Karen Kilgariff?

  So good.

• 7:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Guy Pearce.

• 7:05Karen Kilgariff?

  They just, how nice, like, that idea that they could just go to a family Thanksgiving. I mean, because they probably don't have Thanksgiving in Australia.

• 7:14Georgia Hardstark?

  So last year, we had these friends, Carla and Melissa, and Melissa's like, super French. And her parents came into town that weekend, just happened from France. And Vince was like, "I'm giving them their first Thanksgiving." And made the whole Thanksgiving thing, made them try it. They were really sweet and pretended to be blown away. I think they were. But it was like, so exciting to be like, "This is what Thanksgiving's like."

• 7:34Karen Kilgariff?

  No, I think that's so sweet. I think it's also that thing makes me think of, when we got to go to Italy, we were in Lake Como, and Janet's husband's family lived there. So they had us come and have like, a traditional Italian lunch with them.

• 7:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 7:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Which, I think dinner. We literally were, at one point, were just all crying because, like, the grandma made us this incredible lasagna that seemed like it had 25 layers to it.

• 7:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Grandma food.

• 8:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Everything was homemade. They had all this food and it was like, they were like, "We're here to treat you."

• 8:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 8:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, that idea is so generous and lovely.

• 8:07Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it. Send us your stories, whatever.

• 8:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 8:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Whatever that is, send us your story.

• 8:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Some sort of a dinner story.

• 8:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Dinner, yeah, the best dinner. The crying. Okay. The Thanksgiving where we almost died and/or got arrested as a family. Warm-hearted.

• 8:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 8:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Warm-hearted instead of lighthearted. Okay. Season's greetings, y'all. So, my family infamously loves to prepare way too much food for any holiday. Everyone needs to have their favorite dishes, so this often leads to several varieties of stuffing, green beans, pies. You get the picture. Unfortunately, since my parents hit retirement age, they inevitably do too much and end up throwing their backs out or exhausting themselves into a stupor trying to recreate these feasts. This usually results in me finishing half-prepared meals and getting frustrated at trying to jump into a crazy, messy kitchen where I'm blankly staring at a salad spinner. It's like, that would be hard. Like, you're up, get in, like, whatever. Knives down, get in there.

• 9:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Get in there, do something.

• 9:03Georgia Hardstark?

  So, in November 2019, I insisted on taking care of the entire meal myself from start to finish. It was to take place at my great-aunt Polly's house in Port Naches, Texas. Thank you for the phonetic spelling. I arrived several days early to begin browning the turkey, starting the process of making homemade dinner rolls, and prepping as many sides as possible. I was really pleased at how well everything was going. I was exhausted but proud that no one would be in physical pain and satisfied with their meals this year. I stayed up late shaping dinner rolls to rise in the pan and didn't get to bed. I know, like, just buy those guys.

• 9:37Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, and also, everyone loves, like, a crescent roll or something.

• 9:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my gosh, Hawaiian sweet roll?

• 9:42Karen Kilgariff?

  But people who are, like, homemakers, you know, you can't tell those people anything.

• 9:46Georgia Hardstark?

  No. I didn't get to bed until around midnight on Wednesday, November 27th, the day before Thanksgiving. About an hour after falling asleep, I awoke to my bed shaking violently and what sounded like someone slamming a door really hard. I got up to investigate, and as I walked through the house, I could smell cigarette smoke. After not being able to find anything amiss, I went back to bed. I had to get up early to finish cooking dinner. The next day, I was anticipating a crowd of people to arrive, among them, my partner that I hadn't seen all week. I was shocked to find out that a butane refinery less than two miles away exploded at 1:00 a.m.

• 10:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, shit.

• 10:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Hence the cigarette smell.

• 10:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 10:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Exploded, two miles away. I considered this for a moment, but ultimately decided the show must go on and started my carefully orchestrated symphony of casseroles that would need oven time. At some point, someone came to tell me that the police were sweeping the neighborhoods and ordering a mandatory evacuation. Mandatory. Our area is no stranger to evacuations, having been hit by our fair share of hurricanes, but my father crossed his arms and said, no.

• 10:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, no.

• 10:49Georgia Hardstark?

  We closed all the curtains, moved the cars into the garage and began our first stealth Thanksgiving.

• 10:56Georgia Hardstark?

  I have to interject that my mom was not pleased with our decision and how they were shaping up. She insisted that if my partner really loved me, they would find a way to join us and that I should probably leave since I was the, quote, "future of the family." So she doesn't die.

• 11:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Jesus Christ.

• 11:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Needless to say, we made it out just fine, but did experience a second explosion halfway through our meal that had our heavily laden dinner table shaking.

• 11:19Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean.

• 11:20Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why you were supposed to evacuate.

• 11:21Karen Kilgariff?

  That was the evacuation, yeah.

• 11:23Georgia Hardstark?

  I swore I'd never do this again. Man plans and God laughs. BTW, thankfully, only five people were hurt during the explosion, but the fire and billowing smoke lasted for over 24 hours. The factory had been outside of EPA safety requirements and fined consecutively for over five years prior to the explosion. The fine summing up to less than $200,000. It's hard to speak out against these companies since they provide the majority of jobs to the area, but this type of pollution to our air and oceans is upsetting. I know this email is long, but thank you, ladies, for being a platform for marginalized slash disadvantaged people. Your voices used to fill my female-led bakery. Oh, the rolls.

• 12:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, that's why.

• 12:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Where I worked prior to the pandemic and we all enjoyed cackling to your voices in the wee hours of the morning while we shaped bread.

• 12:09Karen Kilgariff?

  We got to be there.

• 12:10Georgia Hardstark?

  I know.

• 12:11Karen Kilgariff?

  At like a middle-of-the-night bakery session for all women in a bakery.

• 12:16Georgia Hardstark?

  When people tell us like where they took us, there's like, there was like an Antarctic one recently.

• 12:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, yes.

• 12:21Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm like, we were fucking there. That's where we've been. I love that. Tell us the coolest places you've listened to us, please.

• 12:26Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, I want, I feel like I want to join an all-female bakery and get up at 4:00 in the morning.

• 12:31Georgia Hardstark?

  No, you don't.

• 12:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Help make.

• 12:32Georgia Hardstark?

  You get up at 4:00 in the morning anyways.

• 12:33Karen Kilgariff?

  I know.

• 12:34Georgia Hardstark?

  You might as well.

• 12:34Karen Kilgariff?

  And be over there helping out.

• 12:36Georgia Hardstark?

  My first job was a bakery and it's just so much fun.

• 12:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, is it?

• 12:39Georgia Hardstark?

  So fun.

• 12:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Did you have to go that early?

• 12:41Georgia Hardstark?

  No, because I was like behind the counter, but.

• 12:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 12:43Georgia Hardstark?

  It's just like, you're surrounded by like presents, essentially.

• 12:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. And people happy because they're getting their hot cross buns or whatever.

• 12:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Stay sexy and don't get exploded by evil energy companies this Thanksgiving. Cooper, she/her.

• 12:58Karen Kilgariff?

  The dad's just like, you know what? They, the butane can blow up. I'm not, they're not.

• 13:02Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean, it's not just blowing up, but you're inhaling that shit.

• 13:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. I mean, there's a chemical issue outside.

• 13:11Speaker 01

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• 13:42Karen Kilgariff?

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• 14:27Karen Kilgariff?

  of a website or domain. Goodbye.

• 14:30Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

• 14:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great, until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his, with one exception: his mom.

• 14:42Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives, but for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 14:48Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 14:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head, or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 14:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nevola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 15:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series, Phony.

• 15:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Goodbye.

• 15:16Karen Kilgariff?

  I won't read you the subject line, and it says, "Not to be bossy, but don't read the subject line." Okay, let's jump right in. This is that story. You know, the infamous one that gets repeated in the family over and over. The year was 2002. I was nine years old. It was Thanksgiving, and my family and I were in New Jersey, visiting my aunt and uncle and cousins. I was helping set the table for Thanksgiving dinner when I slipped. It was a wood floor, and I was wearing socks and holding a bundle of silverware. I need to say this. Some of my worst accidents, because my parents have wood floors too, is when you're wearing socks without any grip. And you think every, you're like, on the stairs.

• 15:54Georgia Hardstark?

  On the stairs. I've fucking done that.

• 15:56Karen Kilgariff?

  God, be so careful.

• 15:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Put slippers on.

• 15:58Karen Kilgariff?

  Get little grippers.

• 15:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. I'm picturing it, because I fucking, I've done it.

• 16:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 16:03Georgia Hardstark?

  It sucks.

• 16:04Karen Kilgariff?

  I did it on Adrian's stairs one time, and slipped, and then slammed down on my butt on the stairs, and then just had like a sore, oh, it was the worst. When I slipped and fell, I happened to drop the bundle of silverware at the exact moment when I, where I landed on the floor. I also landed on top of a knife. The odds here, though I'm not a mathematician, and in fact, didn't pass freshman year algebra the first time, just seem astronomical.

• 16:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Karen Kilgariff?

  But anyway, I slipped and fell, and in the, I don't know, one second that the knife I was holding was exactly balanced, I landed on top of it, and the knife slid into my armpit. As I recall it, and as my mom tells me, though, she's still 24 years later, hates talking about it, because she's a sweet baby angel, I screamed. My sister, who was maybe 17 at the time, ran over, pulled my shirt up, saw the blood, and yelled, "Hospital now." So someone grabs my uncle to drive us to the hospital. My uncle, who, for the record, is incredibly Sicilian, like, wears gold chains and white tank tops and looks like a Sopranos extra.

• 17:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Amazing.

• 17:06Karen Kilgariff?

  So good. And remember, this was in 2002, which was obviously before iPhones, et cetera, and my family had just moved to New Jersey, so they weren't totally familiar with their neighborhood yet. But anyway, my mom sits in the backseat with me, and I lay down, and I'm bleeding, and my mom's crying, and my sister's helping my uncle navigate in the front seat of his blacked-out Chevy Suburban, like I told you, incredibly Sicilian.

• 17:28Georgia Hardstark?

  So good.

• 17:30Karen Kilgariff?

  And he's literally driving like, driving Miss Daisy, like, couldn't be going slower.

• 17:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Bro.

• 17:35Karen Kilgariff?

  And my mom is freaking out because I'm sitting back there bleeding. Eventually, we make it to the hospital, but it has this weird kind of drive-through thing. Remember the old banks where you'd stop in the drive-through and be helped that way? It was kind of like that. And my uncle pulls up to it and he's telling the person helping us that I've been stabbed, in an parentheses, it says LOL, by myself. And needs help. And this person is like seeming really confused. And it goes on for a minute or so until the person helping us says, sir, this is a nursing home.

• 18:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 18:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, you heard that right. He took me to a nursing home instead of an emergency room. I swear to God, my mom almost had a heart attack. The sweet nursing home staff pointed us toward the hospital. And after another few minutes of painstakingly slow driving, I would assume the exact opposite. Like.

• 18:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Like there's something in the trunk, maybe like a body.

• 18:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Cannot get pulled over. We made it to the ER where I got 10 stitches. Not only did I survive to tell the tale, but when we got home, my brothers and boy cousins were the nicest they'd ever been to me. And my Albanian grandmother gave me $100 cash. Not a bad deal.

• 18:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Fuck, yeah. Suddenly, the best day.

• 18:43Karen Kilgariff?

  It's just so like.

• 18:44Georgia Hardstark?

  I love the Albanian grandma just kind of sliding.

• 18:46Karen Kilgariff?

  She's just like, I can't say I love you. That part's too hard. We're an immigrant family. Cash is what love is. Stay sexy and don't go to a nursing home unless you really mean to. For Tessa, she/her.

• 18:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God, that's hilarious. Stabbing yourself.

• 19:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Stabbing yourself. I actually one time was helping set the table and I was holding steak knives and forks. And I was kind of running into the living room. And my mom's friend Carolyn Bernardi was coming into the kitchen and I almost stabbed her in the abdomen. Like she stopped and pulled herself back like within a half an inch. That's how I learned that you hold them upright and close to yourself.

• 19:26Georgia Hardstark?

  When I was like four or something, I got up on the table like this and hit the edge of the plate and it fucking, I have a scar there. It flew into my eye.

• 19:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Holy shit.

• 19:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Blood, stitches, the whole fucking thing.

• 19:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my God. Was it on Thanksgiving?

• 19:39Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 19:39Karen Kilgariff?

  OK, cut that story.

• 19:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Shit. Save it for another time. OK, here's my second one. My favorite party story, long but funny ending. I think long but funny ending is for Molly, actually.

• 19:52Karen Kilgariff?

  That 100%. It's for me.

• 19:54Georgia Hardstark?

  She's like, I would not have fucking put this in. If you're upset that your story hasn't been picked, maybe it's too long, edit it and resubmit it.

• 20:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Get in there and get to the facts.

• 20:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, like take out, it's like two pages, tops.

• 20:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Two pages.

• 20:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, Karen and Georgia and MFM team, including pets. I am a diehard OG murderino who adores you all. A few mini episodes back, you asked for party stories, so here is mine. When I was in my early twenties, fresh out of college and living in Baltimore, I adopted a stray orange kitten. Oh yeah, this is funny. Jaffe, rhymes with Taffy, was a scrappy little street cat who hung out with me for the next 18 years. Through all the different apartments and relationships and jobs I had across the country. She was still my little sidekick when I moved back to Baltimore in the early 2000s. Needless to say, I loved that cat. Sadly, shortly after I moved back, Jaffe started to slow down and was clearly sick. No definite diagnosis, but probably some form of cancer.

• 20:46Georgia Hardstark?

  My poor cat got skinnier and skinnier until a sad Thanksgiving morning when her back legs gave out and I knew her number was up. Since it was a holiday, I called an emergency vet who said they could take her in to be put to sleep, but that if she went quickly at home, it wouldn't make much sense to pay the astronomical holiday fee they had to charge me.

• 21:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Of course, I didn't want her to suffer and would have taken her in, but she faded fast and passed within an hour. I was truly heartbroken and cried into all the Thanksgiving pies I baked that afternoon. I was a little unsure what to do with Jaffe's little corpse until I could take her in the following day to be cremated. But after consulting with friends and family, I wrapped her in her favorite blanket, along with all of her cat toys, of course, and carefully stowed her outside on my city row house's roof deck where it was pleasantly chilly.

• 21:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, no.

• 21:35Georgia Hardstark?

  It's, it's not what you think.

• 21:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, okay.

• 21:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Maybe a little worse.

• 21:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 21:38Georgia Hardstark?

  And I have, my heart is pounding because I think Mimi's gonna be gone soon. It's the same, now I'm Thanksgiving too.

• 21:44Karen Kilgariff?

  That's so sad.

• 21:46Georgia Hardstark?

  I know. I showed up later that day at my family's Thanksgiving dinner in mourning and made several, i.e. too many, teary toast in Jaffe's honor throughout the meal.

• 21:55Karen Kilgariff?

  I love it.

• 21:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Although we never had before, my sister suggested we go Black Friday shopping that night and we ended up at Michael's, the craft store. Walking through the aisles, my sister pointed at a little wooden box and jokingly said, "Oh, that looks like a little coffin for Jaffe." Of course, I tearfully snatched it up and brought it back home that night, where I gently and kind of stiffly by that point, settled Jaffe in it on the roof deck before I went to bed. The next morning, I scheduled Jaffe's cremation, but I felt like a little more ceremony was needed. After all, this cat had been with me for basically all of my adult life so far. So I decided to make a quick stop at my favorite bench by Baltimore's Harbor so that Jaffe and I could say a final goodbye to her city together. That day after Thanksgiving was definitely warmer than it had been the night before,

• 22:40Georgia Hardstark?

  and as I put my little cat coffin on my car's front seat for the short ride to the harbor and then carefully carry it to my favorite bench, I could detect the beginning of a faint smell. But I didn't care. I sat in the sun with the box, which I had stayed up late decorating with a Sharpie the night before, on my lap for a couple minutes and waited for the few tourists milling around to leave before I could say my last goodbye. I don't know if it was my grief-stricken sleep deprivation or what, but as I got up to leave, I suddenly thought, you know what would be so fitting for this Baltimore cat? A burial right here in the harbor.

• 23:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 23:12Georgia Hardstark?

  It seemed to make perfect sense as a more meaningful alternative to her anonymous cremation. And before I really knew what I was doing, I walked to the edge of the pier, whispered goodbye, and dropped Jaffe's wooden coffin into the harbor.

• 23:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, no.

• 23:25Georgia Hardstark?

  As I watched the lovingly inscribed box bob out into the open water, I had another realization, which was that the box wasn't sinking because it wasn't weighed down with anything but a very, very skinny cat body and some cat toys. Are you crying?

• 23:37Karen Kilgariff?

  No, I just, it's so like, it's so when you're figuring stuff out by yourself.

• 23:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally, yeah.

• 23:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, you just want to give the cat your final, that's so sad.

• 23:47Georgia Hardstark?

  I stood watching it float and then continued watching as, around the corner of the pier, a Baltimore City Harbor police boat slowly drifted into view. That box wasn't sinking, but my heart sure did as I watched the police boat suddenly change course and head straight for my poor cat's midnight madness coffin. I stood a few seconds more riveted by the sight of a large net being lowered into the harbor to retrieve the box. And then, I'm ashamed to say, I turned around and took off running from that pier.

• 24:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you did.

• 24:18Georgia Hardstark?

  There are a lot of stories about bodies being dumped in Baltimore's harbor, but I was pretty sure that even having to explain a cat body would mean some trouble and probably a fine. I'm still sad about my cat's posthumous fate in the hands of the police and to this day, I always whisper a little, "Hello, Jaffe," every time I pass that pier. Not in there. Not fucking in there.

• 24:39Karen Kilgariff?

  You should do as you pass the police department because...

• 24:42Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. But I will say that it is possibly my greatest party story to tell here in Baltimore, except for the time John Waters picked up a friend of mine at last call, which turned into a truly surreal late night slash early morning at his house during a massive snowstorm. Ah, you...

• 24:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Getting stuck in a snowstorm at John Waters' house?

• 25:00Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean...

• 25:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my god.

• 25:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Greatest memory of your life.

• 25:03Karen Kilgariff?

  You lucky bastard.

• 25:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Love you all and all that you do. Stay sexy and don't ever ask me to dump a body in Baltimore's harbor for you because I'm obviously not good at it. Rachel, she/her. P.S. Karen, as an 80s teen, my first big crush was on C. Thomas Howell. I always thought I was the only one.

• 25:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, girl. It was all of us. All of us Outsiders fans. Wow, that is so hilarious and sad. I was actually thinking of this. We had this cat Rory, and she was old when we adopted her, and she didn't like us or anything, and she was like one of those miserable old cats. We kind of brought her around near the end, then she died, and I'm pretty sure we buried her on the side of the house. And it's like, that's just there for the next people, like if they go, "Oh, we want to redo this and put in a hedge or something."

• 25:50Georgia Hardstark?

  I know that, like, I move so often, I know that my house right now isn't my final house. I'm not burying Elvis there, because I know like in three years, I'm going to change my mind about it and fucking move away.

• 25:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, exactly.

• 26:00Georgia Hardstark?

  And leave Elvis there?

• 26:01Karen Kilgariff?

  You have to keep Elvis in whatever urn he's in.

• 26:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Exactly.

• 26:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 26:05Speaker 06

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• 26:35Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+

• 26:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great, until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his, with one exception: his mom.

• 26:47Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives, but for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 26:52Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 27:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head, or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 27:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 27:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series Phony.

• 27:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Goodbye.

• 27:19Georgia Hardstark?

  As an adult, making dinner isn't the hard part.

• 27:21Karen Kilgariff?

  The hard part is deciding what to make every single night for the rest of your life.

• 27:25Georgia Hardstark?

  But with Hungry Root, you can make that decision a whole lot easier.

• 27:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Hungry Root is like having your own personal shopper and nutritionist all wrapped up into one. They'll take care of weekly grocery shopping and recommend groceries and meals tailored to you.

• 27:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Once you tell them about your goals and preferences, they fill your cart with personalized recommendations. And those recommendations get smarter as Hungry Root learns more about what you did or didn't like.

• 27:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Most of Hungry Root's recipes can be made in just 15 minutes or less. I mean, of course, it's always great to have delicious and very healthy groceries delivered to your house, which they can do, but I love the fact that Hungry Root will also just make you dinner so you can have it sitting there waiting. They make a classic chicken, corn, and Mexican rice bowl, and they have all kinds of variations on those themes. So that's one that I love to reach for. And all these options so you're getting really healthy meals.

• 28:14Georgia Hardstark?

  For a limited time, get 40% off your first order, plus get a free item in every box for life.

• 28:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Go to hungryroot.com/mfm and use code MFM.

• 28:23Georgia Hardstark?

  That's hungryroot.com/mfm, code MFM, to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Goodbye.

• 28:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, here's my last one. And the subject line says, "I'm a Kelsey too." And then it says, "Hi friends, longtime listener, multi-time writer. Thanksgiving is always my favorite holiday. Growing up, my mom always cooked for a big chunk of my family, and there are a lot of us. I'm one of eight, my mom was one of eight, and I lost count of how many cousins I have. And when I asked my mom, why the hell she would have so many kids, she always replied, "Ugh, I don't know, I'm a recovering Catholic." I mean, my dad is one of nine. And that's a gigantic family. Imagine, it's like eight and eight.

• 29:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Eight and eight, that's crazy.

• 29:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, so, "One Thanksgiving, while the turkey and the other deliciousness was cooking, my mom was running around like crazy as always. I'm sure my constant offers to help were more annoying than anything as I was just a little kid. She was the type of person that always had 17,000 pairs of reader glasses, you know, those little half glasses? Yet she always managed to constantly lose them. That was like in the 90s, that's all my parents did."

• 29:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Really?

• 29:33Karen Kilgariff?

  It was like, "Did you take my readers?" Or it's like, "Why would we, we don't use them, of course not."

• 29:37Georgia Hardstark?

  And they got them at like the grocery store and shit?

• 29:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, so they're in pockets, and they're in the couch, and they're on the floor.

• 29:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, actually, you're wearing a pair right now, Dad? What the fuck?

• 29:45Karen Kilgariff?

  You're wearing it as a headband? So it says, "During this one fateful holiday, she to no one's surprise, lost the pair she'd been using. We looked everywhere. It wasn't until the pungent smell of burnt plastic and smoke filled the air that we all realized what had happened. My mom had her glasses on top of her head when she last checked the turkey, and they fell off her damn head into the bottom of the oven where they remained."

• 30:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my God, okay.

• 30:11Karen Kilgariff?

  "So many questions. Why didn't she see that happen? Hear it? Fucking feel it?"

• 30:16Georgia Hardstark?

  See it? I'll tell you why she didn't see it, she didn't have her fucking readers on.

• 30:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yeah, that's very true. But I'm like, because she started drinking, she had some gin fizzes around 11 a.m. That's what Thanksgiving is for. "To her horror, it did manage to ruin a good chunk of the food. But she was the most worried about getting her beloved parakeet out of the smoke. Us kids were on our own."

• 30:38Karen Kilgariff?

  It's now one of the funniest stories we talk about around the holiday in her memory. My mom raised us on her own and I lost her to suicide when I was a teenager.

• 30:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, honey.

• 30:48Karen Kilgariff?

  As the years go on, I struggle to remember her laugh. So telling these stories are what keep her memory alive for me.

• 30:54Georgia Hardstark?

  My god.

• 30:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Thank you for continuing to be a voice for mental health and all that it involves. We still have a lot of work to do and I am proud of everything you do. Oh, stay sexy and don't let mom lose her glasses, Kelsey. And P.S., my hooray is that being from San Luis Obispo, Paul Flores was finally held accountable for the death of Kristen Smart.

• 31:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Yep.

• 31:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Yep.

• 31:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god. Oh.

• 31:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Such a mom memory. I just love that mom Thanksgiving memory where it's like you're cooking for a million people, you're trying to get all this stuff done.

• 31:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, everything has different timing. It's such a pain in the ass. And then, yeah, someone asking you what they can do to help is almost more annoying sometimes.

• 31:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, exactly.

• 31:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Because you're like, well, you're gonna do it wrong.

• 31:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 31:36Georgia Hardstark?

  So, okay. That's beautiful. Okay, this is called Grandma's Kitchen. It's short. My grandparents, Julia Ann and Willard Oliver,

• 31:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 31:44Georgia Hardstark?

  had eight children.

• 31:45Karen Kilgariff?

  What?

• 31:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Each child married and had kids of their own. Me being the youngest of six from my parents, all of this meaning Thanksgiving would be jam-packed with people in their country farmhouse. Grandma always stayed in the kitchen, working away to feed everyone. When food was done, she sat and didn't eat anything. She said she ate by tasting everything while making it. Jesus. After her death, my aunt told us that Grandma hated everyone visiting.

• 32:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Grandpa insisted and she gave in. So my aunt would go buy a fifth of Jack and it was hidden in the flower bin. Grandma would start with a bit of it in her coffee and when the fifth was empty, the food was done.

• 32:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 32:26Georgia Hardstark?

  But is the fifth the like, the little flask-looking one?

• 32:29Karen Kilgariff?

  I hope so, because if Grandma was drinking a big boy like that, I think different things would be happening.

• 32:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Sure. She would sit in her chair in the kitchen and everyone would coo over her hard work. I now know she was hammered. I'm happy to know I got my introvert nature from her. I don't cook, but I can make a stiff drink.

• 32:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Stay sexy and don't host if you don't want to. Jeremy. P.S. One rule when she passed was that we couldn't announce it for a year. If they don't care to check on you alive, they don't deserve to know that you died.

• 32:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Hell, yeah, Grandma.

• 33:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Grandma's mission.

• 33:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Grandma's like, fuck all these kids.

• 33:04Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it.

• 33:05Karen Kilgariff?

  That's hilarious.

• 33:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god. Grandma.

• 33:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Julia Ann, R.I.P. We'll think of you this Thanksgiving.

• 33:11Georgia Hardstark?

  We will.

• 33:11Karen Kilgariff?

  You badass. Everybody have a fifth of something if you want to.

• 33:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Truly.

• 33:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Get through any kind of family holiday any way you need to.

• 33:19Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right.

• 33:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Especially if you need to just go stand outside.

• 33:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 33:22Karen Kilgariff?

  And stay sexy.

• 33:23Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 33:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Happy Thanksgiving.

• 33:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Happy Thanksgiving.

• 33:27Speaker 06

  Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 33:36Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 33:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

• 33:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Lasevedo.

• 33:44Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Leona Scolacci.

• 33:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 33:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 33:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 33:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Or watch us on YouTube. Search for My Favorite Murder and then like and subscribe.

• 33:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 34:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Calling all amateur detectives and podcast obsessives.

• 34:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Virgin Voyages' second True Crime Voyage sets sail March 20th, 2027, for a five-night escape to Grand Turk and the Beach Club at Bimini.

• 34:19Karen Kilgariff?

  As part of the On Air at Sea collection, this immersive sailing brings together fan favorite podcasts, including Disgrace Land, Buried Bones, and Wise Crack, for live recordings, behind-the-scenes access, exclusive meet and greets, and crime-themed programming that you won't find anywhere else.

• 34:35Georgia Hardstark?

  All aboard our award-winning, kid-free ships.

• 34:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to virginvoyages.com/truecrime to secure your spot.

• 34:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 34:44Speaker 06

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• 35:15Speaker 07

  She's been thinking about this sleepover all week, but I think about her food allergies all the time. Fortunately, her doctor prescribed Zolair, omalizumab. It's proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Zolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people one year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Zolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Zolair. Zolair may cause a severe, life-threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Zolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Zolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis, while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection, or hardened circulation problems have been reported. Please see zolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Zolair. This is an advertisement for Zolair,

• 36:12Speaker 03

  paid for by Genentech and Novartis.