491 David Vobora on the Power of Pain to Transform Into Your Best Self

"There's turning points, but there's a lot more checkpoints." - David Vobora If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/491 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 491 with David Vobora.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  We've got a special one on today. His name is David Vobora, and he is a five-year veteran of the NFL. He was Mr. Irrelevant, which means the last pick in the 2008 NFL Draft. And in 2014, he opened the Adaptive Training Foundation to restore hope through movement to those with physical impairment by creating opportunities for adaptive athletes to train and compete. As a professional speaker, David now speaks to audiences across the country about seeing beyond the daily grind and tapping into deeper potential. His passion is to help others find theirs, and in doing so, discover the fuel to become stronger, truer, and braver

• 1:13Lewis Howes?

  versions of themselves. I really enjoyed this episode because we share similar paths. You know, we both played football for a while. He was in the NFL. I was not in the NFL. But we shared a path of losing a dream and then reinventing ourselves afterwards. And here are some things that David talked about. Why there's a void for veterans in physical fitness. How to balance the for-profit and nonprofit movements together. The difference between checkpoints and turning points in our lives, and what to do when we notice them. Why David doesn't trust an unbroken person, which I thought was interesting. And why good grades are not an indication of how great someone working with you will be.

• 1:56Lewis Howes?

  And as always, make sure to share this with your friends. The link with all the show notes and information and full video is at lewishowes.com/491. And make sure to tag me on social media, @lewishowes, Twitter, Facebook, at Instagram as well, as I'd love to see how you're enjoying this specific episode. So without further ado, let me introduce to you the one, the only David Vabora.

• 2:22Lewis Howes?

  All right, welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got David Vabora in the house. Good to see you, man.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Great to be here, man.

• 2:29Lewis Howes?

  Very excited about this. We have some things in common.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  We do.

• 2:32Lewis Howes?

  Number one, we both played football.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 2:35Lewis Howes?

  You played in the NFL for five years, correct?

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Did.

• 2:38Lewis Howes?

  I never made it to the league, but you're Mr. Irrelevant, isn't that right?

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, 2008, last pick drafted in the NFL.

• 2:43Lewis Howes?

  2008. What do you get, a Rolex or something? Don't they give you something?

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it looks kinda like the Heisman Trophy, but the guy's fumbling the football. It's called the Loesman.

• 2:50Lewis Howes?

  No way, really?

• 2:51Speaker 01

  You truly do. I had no idea that irrelevant week existed, but it's basically treating the first pick like, like, or excuse me, the last pick like they're the first.

• 2:59Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  And then they're sparking this whole weekend or weekend parades in Disneyland and stuff in Newport Beach and gifts and...

• 3:06Lewis Howes?

  You got all that.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got all that. So if you're gonna be a late pick, you might as well be the last pick.

• 3:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Because your signing bonus isn't that different from the person in front of you.

• 3:12Lewis Howes?

  That's funny, man.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:13Lewis Howes?

  So you got treated like a king.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, and frankly, like, I accomplished a dream of being drafted in the NFL.

• 3:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's huge.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Call me Mr. Anything You Want, right?

• 3:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  And then, you know, to have something in a platform, especially with the media around that, I learned like, man, this is part of the story. Like, when I went and talked to kids at schools, I could say, "How many of you guys have ever been the last pick on the playground?"

• 3:31Lewis Howes?

  Ah.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Hands shoot up.

• 3:32Lewis Howes?

  I've been that.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  No, amen. Well, we all have.

• 3:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  But like, that's the part that we're embarrassed to tell, right? We just focus on the strength. And so for me, it's like, man, this is, you can celebrate this.

• 3:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  I already had a chip on my shoulder.

• 3:43Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  I mean, I was always one that needed to prove myself, felt like the underdog. So this was just a really good excuse to let it be known.

• 3:50Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, that's cool, man. And, um, okay, so we both played football. Also, uh, we were both on Ellen in the same week.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was in the green room watching you on Ellen, like, wait, what?

• 4:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow, they were showing the day before? Oh, they're showing that day?

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Right, they were showing that day because we were recording, yeah.

• 4:07Lewis Howes?

  That's so funny, man.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Which was outstanding to watch, man. Congrats.

• 4:09Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Twice on Ellen.

• 4:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Lightning strikes twice.

• 4:13Lewis Howes?

  Hopefully more than that.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it will. It will, no question.

• 4:16Lewis Howes?

  Uh, but you've all spent on a lot of other big news outlets, uh, recently. Your story's been coming out there more and more recently because you started a gym for injured veterans, is that right?

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I got out of the league in 2012.

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Traumatic shoulder injury, you know, again, loss of identity.

• 4:32Lewis Howes?

  Played five years, right?

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, and the last was really, uh, on injured reserve because of the shoulder.

• 4:37Lewis Howes?

  Got it, got it.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  And as I was... You were linebacker? Linebacker, yeah. Trying to be tough, you know, trying to not ask for help. I started to just cope with pain medication. Yeah. And it just downward spiral. You know, eventually it led me to a seven day detox. I lost thirty four pounds, two seizures, you know, didn't know up from down. I, I literally at one point the, the nurses restrained me because of the fear of that I was gonna try to hurt myself. I mean, I, weeks prior, I was playing for the Seattle Seahawks. So think about that contrast. Yeah, it's crazy. Big drop. So as I, as I, as I came out of that process and I rehabilitated my mind and my body, I took a year off. And I realized, man, I, something in me switched. You know, you can't be like one foot in, one foot out in the league. No. You're playing against monsters. You're all in or you're done?

• 5:18Speaker 01

  That's it. You literally will be death because they will kill you in there. Uh, and so I decided to walk away, knowing that I probably had snaps left, uh, physically, which was weird. But I started this gym, kind of found my, myself, because the sanctuary, right? You and I probably just loved the gym because we could take out a lot of that aggression. We could learn from the pain inside there, you know, and, and, and drive it toward our, our purpose or what our calling was, right? Yeah. And so I started a gym, was training elite athletes mostly, college guys, pro guys. And then in walks a quadruple amputee. Guy that was blown up, lost all four limbs. Wow. And it was like the hot chick at the bar. I was just like, walked right up to him. I have to talk to you, you know?

• 5:56Speaker 01

  Challenged him to work out. You know, this is the story that's been told by, by Starbucks and some of the big news channels, just about him taking a chance, uh, advancing into his fear, his fear of falling specifically. And then all of a sudden, he was just using, you know, hundred pound sled pulls and calling out my NFL guys like, oh, your pinky toe's sore, huh, bro? It was amazing. I mean, it was just iron sharpening iron. And I realized, wow, okay, wait a second. There's a void at post rehab. And it's not just veterans, right? Like, you know, veterans, they can come home geographically, but they can still not be home, right? So part of arriving home is redefining the new identity, the new self. Yeah. Knowing that, hey, uh, even though I was. Can't go back in the. Well, you're elite, right? You're like, when, when football was everything for you, you're working to become elite out of your craft and suddenly it's torn from you.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  You're like, well, wait a second. Like, I, I, I know how to run a post, but that doesn't help me in the business world. Like, yeah, you can coach, you can scout, but for me, it was, it was.

• 6:49Lewis Howes?

  It's not the same.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, it wasn't the same. And I saw this beautiful thing happen when everyone lost their excuses. Cause you know, someone that was visually, you know, viscerally charged when you saw someone attack something that they maybe didn't think they could do. Like, that's sort of the raw message that's always been on my heart.

• 7:05Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  So now it's about taking, you know, people that want to support, step into the story so we can keep cost-free training for veterans and civilians with physical disabilities.

• 7:14Lewis Howes?

  Cost-free.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Cost-free.

• 7:16Lewis Howes?

  So the gym you started was an elite training gym. And how long was it, did you have it until he walked in?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  It's just about a year, year and a half. But I was making good money. You know, I was in the best shape of my life because I was training with all my clients and

• 7:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  Things were going great. And then there was this sort of thing that guided, prompted me in my gut. Call it a spiritual speed dial, call it an intuition. But that instinct, I listened and I, I was bold enough to walk up to him and be curious. I think a lot of people, they get too worried about saying the right thing to someone.

• 7:44Lewis Howes?

  Or the wrong thing.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Or the wrong thing, you know? And that's the problem is that they let that paralysis set in because of fear.

• 7:50Lewis Howes?

  Now, did you keep that gym or did you start a new gym?

• 7:52Speaker 01

  So the gym's co-inside.

• 7:53Lewis Howes?

  Oh, it's inside.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  You know, again, I'm, I'm, I'm enjoying this, this title of social entrepreneur.

• 7:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Cause I think there is a beauty. I mean, Starbucks getting behind us and Howard Schultz has become a great business mentor of mine, which is profound.

• 8:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  And no one knows scalability better than Howard Schultz, right? Um, and what he is, has kind of fostered and come alongside with me is just this understanding of how you balance the for-profit and nonprofit cohesion, right? Impact and income. And, um, you know, having them share space is a unique model, uh, that can help to, uh, create fiscal responsibility for sure. Uh, again, the, the pro athletes, my pro athletes, they want to be alongside these warriors, right? Because all of a sudden there, they're getting their best workouts, they're developing these friendships and the, the warriors are amazed because like, Andy Dalton just asked me to use those dumbbells when I was done, you know? And that stokes them up. And so then they're just wanting to push a little harder. So, you know, this nine-week program we run is really unique. Put them through nine weeks of training, restore, recalibrate, redeploy.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  And it's sort of boot camp, but we're mindful of pain. It's not just punishing them, putting them into like physical misery. But it's waking up the things so that they realize that, man, like, the things that they let define them for a little while, they no longer have to let that happen. They can actually defy them by using pain for purpose. And my background is psychology, right? Like communications and psychology is everything to me. All the human performance stuff is just. You know, what helped me to master my craft?

• 9:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  So, specific to me, it was, man, how do I create sweat psychology? Cause you've learned about yourself in the gym. We learn about ourselves by not going to the gym. You know, and so that was the conduit for me.

• 9:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  Now, this is a, you know, adaptive training foundation is a 501(c)(3).

• 9:28Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  And we have a train the trainer model to create recurring revenue out of a certification to train trainers nationally. When I went to DC, met with Obama, the policy level was the same way that there's a mandated handicap parking spot out of a large corporate gym. We want to create a threshold of about 200 members, 200 to 300 members. Over that, there has to be a mandate for an ADA certified trainer inside the gym.

• 9:51Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Alright, think about progress for this country, for all people, because there's over 10 million Americans with a physical disability.

• 9:57Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Anyway, you get, I'm not passionate about this at all.

• 10:00Lewis Howes?

  10 million with a physical disability from war or battle or just in general?

• 10:04Speaker 01

  In general, in general, right? And there's about 60,000 post 9/11 combat injured veterans.

• 10:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  But again, there's, you know, as we know, veteran suicide, right? 22 a day. That's a staggering statistic. But we know that, that suicide's not just a veteran-based issue, it's a human issue.

• 10:19Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  And I believe it's one we can break through empowerment. And again, the gym is a way to champion each other and, and move just, you know, sometimes it's all about, oh, you inspire me. But it's, it's aspiration too. And as you begin to develop that and they begin to realize that it's inside of them, I'll look at guys all the time and say, it's in you. Walk away. And like, for a while, they're like, wow, that's, that sounds cool. But then it's like, wait, what is it?

• 10:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  You know, and I, I, people did that to me.

• 10:44Lewis Howes?

  Uh-huh.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  They believed in me. And now it's my duty to, to go and do it for someone else.

• 10:47Lewis Howes?

  Tell you what, you know, I, I play with the USA Men's National Handball Team and I was.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Dude, I love handball. We have a handball at the gym. I kid you not. Little gray one, official.

• 10:55Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:56Lewis Howes?

  Nice.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:57Lewis Howes?

  And I was down in, with the, the team in Alabama. And they, they trained down in Auburn, Alabama, at the facilities down there. And there was one day, I was doing training camp with the team and there was one day where I was just like exhausted. You know, I was like, this sucks. I'm in the middle of nowhere, you know, I'm running my business here, but I go down there to train like every six months or something just to stay on the team. And I was just like miserable that day. I was like, this place is, what am I doing here? Like, what am I wasting my time for? And I remember feeling all this pain in my legs, like this whole day. We'd just been a hard camp. And all of a sudden, on the other side of the court, there is this group of basketball players in wheelchairs, all in wheelchairs. And I look over to them, I'm just like, what

• 11:42Lewis Howes?

  am I complaining for?

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:44Lewis Howes?

  Like, it was so inspiring to watch them play and have so much fun and like be active and hitting each other. And I was just like, we are, I, for me, I would love to be in your gym. If I was like a pro athlete, I'd love to be training there because it'd be constantly reminding me of how grateful I am, how blessed I am to like have a body to feel pain.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Sure. Yeah, the perspective is huge.

• 12:04Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:04Lewis Howes?

  It's crazy.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  It's just that's that new pair of glasses. We're so quick to just keep the same ones on because it's habitual, it's comfortable. And it's not to say that it's, it's bad when you have the aha moment like, oh gosh, I should feel bad about why I haven't thought about this. Cause again, like people can become a part of this adaptive demographic in an instant. You don't think about an earthquake or a tree falling or a car crash or someone that it can happen, spinal cord injury, amputee. So, you know, I think we all benefit, right? From sort of broadening the aperture of the vision for what it is that, that I can still be, even if the self that I know today is deterred, right? The expectation of what I'm supposed to, you know? I think that's a part of what I kind of balk at anyway. Is it's

• 12:48Speaker 01

  like, I'm not going to be like everybody else. I want to challenge the status quo, not as a juvenile delinquent, not as just a, you know, a middle school kid, but I, I want to challenge that impossible is truly just an opinion. So a lot of these doctor diagnosis, for example, they'll say, you know, we don't want you to lift anything over 20 pounds for the rest of your life. And sometimes, now, we're mindful of not hurting these guys and making sure that we're good, but we'll put that on the wall like it's the insurgent, you know? And now all of a sudden, there's a really, you know, tactical way to achieve what the path is here. And we tell them like, let us do all the programming, let's, let us do all the work. You just, you know, you come in here with the effort and, and we'll take care of the rest. So it's a cool place for them because they're used to structure and giving and taking orders. And it's awesome to watch them start to exchange numbers.

• 13:31Lewis Howes?

  Awesome.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  And the veteran civilian divide is big too. Again, when I started this, people like, just make it about veterans, you'll get more funding. And that's true. It is easier to get veteran funding. It's a sexy topic, but the civilians, there's far more of them. And, and for the two to get together, the civilian teaches the veteran that they're not far from reintegrating, right? This, this civilian society. And that helps. And then the veteran teaches the civilian about grit and teamwork. And so I think that community done well is agnostic, right, of of race, of gender, of way you were heard, veteran, civilian, sexual preference, doesn't matter. Yeah. And that's the piece that I think the gym is a unique cross section of community in America. CrossFit's done it well, right? Amazing. And in that culture change, that piece of inclusion is huge.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  Diversity inclusion works, not with a glass ceiling, not because you're required to, right, but because it's in them. You know, one of my guys, the most impaired guy at my gym, quadriplegic, incomplete, very little dexterity in his hands. I call him the mood director because this guy is always smiling. He's always calling people out as if, oh, man, your life must be so bad, you know, like in a, in a good way, in a, in a friendly way. Uh, but he's one that, you know, he can feed himself again, right? He can push up his wheelchair ramp after. Like those levels of competition are just as important as, in fact, we just took this veteran with 21 others, took 22 of them to Reno Tahoe, and we skied for adaptive, uh, adaptive ski for five days. And it's not enough for us to just take them skiing recreationally, right?

• 15:00Speaker 01

  We want to train them for nine weeks so that they can squeeze everything out of it. So the adrenaline of, of flying down the mountain somehow compares to a little bit of what it was to be in a firefight. Wow. You know, I mean, I can't replicate running down on kickoff. That's why I love surfing. Cause you can't paddle out and say, hey, timeout waves, right? Yeah. It's, it's the high anxiety of being caught in between and then the little 12 year old kid passes by like it's, like it's so easy. Yeah. Those are the lessons that I like and those are the situations I like to put myself in now because of that lack of control. Yeah. What do you miss the most about playing? The Sundays were glorious. You can't replicate a Sunday in front of 80,000 people. There's just no way. I've never got to experience that. But you, but you have though. I mean, Yeah, of course. Friday Night Lights is its purest, I'll be honest. I mean, it's the same thing. It's just bottled in a different package with a little bit fancier stuff.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  And And a nice paycheck. And a little bit better paycheck. Yeah, I'll say that too. Um, even for Mr. Irrelevant. Yeah, right. But it's, it's, I, I, I don't miss how I felt on Monday mornings. Like I like waking up Monday morning today and feeling a little better than I normally would. But I think there's, there's something about the The game of football and how, you know, they call it the makers of men, right? And you grew up in Ohio, birthplace.

• 16:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  And so it's just imprinted onto you, right? Like, like just leather, leather little prints on you from the day you're born. Probably had football in your, in your hospital, right? When you were born?

• 16:19Lewis Howes?

  Probably.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  So, you know, for me, the game of football gave me so much. But even with the traumatic brain injuries and the shoulder injuries and the, even the coming out with the pain pill addiction. Like, I don't blame football. I think that those things could have surfaced in other, in other ways. But in fact, I have a platform now to leverage that piece of my story. Cause you preach from your pain, right? And frankly, your pain is, is your power. So what is it then to, you know, I can't tell you how many people have been touched more by my story of overcoming addiction than even what I'm doing with the veterans in the gym. And that opens up those hard conversations and then they say, well, he's been through it. You know, we can trust.

• 16:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. So, so you started getting on pain meds, is that what happened?

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was starting with prescriptions.

• 17:00Lewis Howes?

  In the league and then continued after you got it.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was basically as I got hurt mid-season and started while we were in season.

• 17:07Lewis Howes?

  Your last season?

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Yes, my last season. And then as it, as it really took the next jump was, it wasn't just pain pills. It was basically anything I could get my hands on.

• 17:15Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it was, you know, I was masking with this and this is, it was essentially to not feel. Um, and, and I, for a long time, it scared me to acknowledge what emotion could do because you felt like for so long, it was this compartmentalized, when I cross this line, I'm going to be the most hostile, violent person on this gridiron. And so you got good at turning the switch on and off. But all of a sudden it was off-season and your habits are creating chaos in your life. And they're not just you going and having some fun anymore. It was you trying to run from the real self, the person looking back at you.

• 17:48Lewis Howes?

  What were you running from?

• 17:49Speaker 01

  I think I was looking at myself in the mirror and I was, it was habitual for me to run toward applause. For me to run toward.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  What I could define is if I did X and Y it equals Z. But the fear of the unknown, the fear of inadequacy, the fear of uncertainty, you know, that imposter syndrome, with the whisper inside was what I was letting define my need for external validation. And I think, you know, you've talked with Tony Robbins, Tony and I have the same book agent down in Dallas. And I asked Tony a question when I met him at Jan Miller's house and he said, I asked him, I said, what is it that whispers to you, you know? And he said, it's the same thing, brother. Like, we all have that, that inner voice, that fear of inadequacy. And you have to decide the ways that you either let it hang out or the ways that you dismiss it. Because like surrender is an interesting word.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  It feels kind of weak as a man, does it not? So I've always wrestled with the like, you raise the white flag to win thing. But I think acknowledgement and then dismissal is different. And I think that's the piece that inside of me, I was, I wasn't ready to look back at David without anyone that looked at David as the football player.

• 19:05Lewis Howes?

  It's tough, man. How long did it take until you're able to transition and be like, okay, that's in the past? I'm not going to hold on to that as like who I am anymore. Obviously, it's still part of your story, but and it helps you with your career and everything you're doing now, but.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I rarely introduce myself as David the football player. And that's like number five down the list. And rightfully so, because the most meaningful, purposeful stuff that I'm doing right now is always going to far surpass what I did on the football field. I feel like for me, this is a daily thing. Like, I wish I could tell the listeners right now that there's some destination. Like, I think there's turning points, but there's a lot more checkpoints. There's a lot more checkpoints that daily you have to assess whether you're getting on that merry-go-round or not. Meditation's a great way, right? Other habits, constructive habits, like working out every single day, doing certain things with what

• 20:00Speaker 01

  you're putting in your body. Yes, those are great to help with, you know, some rebound effect when you have the hard days, but I'm not agnostic to those. You know, those hard days, they're different than bad days. I can have hard days, but not bad days. Cause I think that the hardest days, like, yeah, I would love to just always do something that's effortless, satisfactory to me, but that doesn't mean it's not going to be hard. Just because it's effortless, doesn't mean that you don't have to really try. Yeah. And so for me, it's about how am I dealing with the patterns in my life that I, I try to treat the game of life like the game of football. Cause if, as a linebacker, if I got too in, in, in close to the line, right? I couldn't get around them to make the tackle.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  And so that's the lesson for me in life is, is where am I always trying to attack? When I need to realize that the greatness in me, you know, is, is, is allowing this to develop, right? So that then you see with clarity, a hundred percent.

• 20:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, feeling it.

• 20:59Lewis Howes?

  Now, when I was playing college ball, I remember I tore my AC joint and my, like my, I sprained my ankle in the same play. I remember this on a kickoff. I don't know how it happened, but the same play, like twisted my ankle and torn AC joint. And then I was so stubborn because I was a freshman. I was the only freshman playing who didn't redshirt. And I was like, okay, I'm just going to keep playing and tape it up, you whatever. And so I just started hitting with the other shoulder. And then I tore that AC joint, right? And then I was like, okay, but I don't want to sit out my freshman year and this and that. And so I kept playing. I just started leading with my head.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 21:35Lewis Howes?

  Just like every kickoff, every tackle was with the head. And I just remember like ringing so bad. I mean, I probably have minor concussions constantly from just leading with the head all the time. Did you do that as well? It sounds like you had some brain trauma, right? Or you had some concussions?

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:50Lewis Howes?

  And did you always hit with the head and lead with the head or what?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Well, it's funny, there's this, the body will find the path of least resistance, right? Like you systematically were going to the next area that you could to, and it doesn't make sense. A lot of people that either aren't, have never competed at as an elite athlete, they're just like, why wouldn't you just stop? You know, like, hey, pain is a red flag here. But, and that's where I, you know, I love working with a lot of the Navy SEALs that we work with, because they're 40% rule, right? When you think you are at your breaking point, you're only 40% there. And as there's a, a, a amazing.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Just sort of instruction in that, but at the same time, you cannot be totally tuning pain out always because it's telling you something. So you went from this to this to compensate to go to that to that and it created a chain reaction. If your car was at, you know, out of alignment and you drove it at 100 miles an hour for as long as you could, eventually something bad would happen. Of course. And so those are the signs and I think that in football, we figure out a way to do what works best for us regardless of whether it has a detrimental effect on the body. Right. And people do this in life. Like, look how many people are right here in Beverly Hills, right now, doing this. Whatever makes them money, right, they're hitting with just their head because that's all their head is convinced that matters, even though they have so many other assets that they're not accessing. Right. You know, and in fact, if they access them, it may be even more wealth.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Maybe not in the terms of money, but it may be something that is even greater. And that's the piece that, that's the vision change. Yeah. So for football, for me, I had seven, eight that I had lost significant time, either lost consciousness. Really? Vomited, missed games, missed practice. Seven or eight times? Seven or eight concussions to that effect, traumatic brain injuries. Wow. And then I had another, you know, 30, 40 where everything went green, everything would be upside down, so you'd close your eyes and shake real hard again. Shut up, really? You know, linebacker, you're- In the game or practice or what? Uh, both. It's accumulative, right? So you're hitting the big guys in front of you consistently, like a thud and a bat against your forehead. And then you have special teams. So now, you know, back when we had the wedge. Full speed. Now they don't, they don't let the wedge be in the NFL anymore. But you'd run down full speed 60 yards and dive into guys that are 100 pounds heavier. Torpedo. Yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  So for me, I would say this, the cognitive side of what I see happening in my life is I get very obsessive. I get very obsessive and I, it's hard to draw the line between where David the competitor is in that and where it's maybe because of certain frontal cortex impairment. And I'm, you know, I'm going to a brain center right now here in California, just learning about this stuff. Yeah. Cause I don't want to be 51, right? I'm 31 now and I don't want to be 51 and then it all of a sudden surprises me. You know, for me, it's about, I want to be freed from the having to do, to do list everything. You know, I want to access my mind as a tool, right? Not get frustrated at, uh, it's not operating the way that it should be. And I think that's the way that we think about the body anyway, you know, as a, as an athlete.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Like, I'll go and smoke myself working out still, cause I feed off of that point, like the Muhammad Ali. Once it gets hard, that's when I count my reps.

• 24:44Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  But then I'm cashed for three or four days because that's not normally what I do anymore.

• 24:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  And so it's.

• 24:50Lewis Howes?

  You're not trained like that anymore.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  It's not it. And you can't always train yourself. You gotta widen that vision and.

• 24:56Lewis Howes?

  It's tough, man. It's tough to like, hold back sometimes. You know, I'm almost 10 years out of playing. And it's still hard to like, I still feel like I can play.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:05Lewis Howes?

  You know what I mean?

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:06Lewis Howes?

  And I still feel like I can train the same way. But sometimes I'll do CrossFit or some hard workout and then I'm like, I just tweaked my back for like a week and I'm like, oh. You know, it's so frustrating, right? You're like, oh, so you gotta humble yourself. I'm humbled all the time.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:17Lewis Howes?

  When I work out now.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Well, I'm.

• 25:19Lewis Howes?

  You just gotta hold back a little bit.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  I'm significantly humbled because a lot of these guys at our gym, right? Like.

• 25:23Lewis Howes?

  Are playing.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  They're playing, they're balling, or there's guys with no arms or legs that are doing things that I can't. I'm like, alright, man, this is, you know, man. But as a trainer, you're good because you just sort of do the.

• 25:32Lewis Howes?

  Just teach.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  The example rep.

• 25:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  And you can do anything for one rep, you know, and look good. And then by the end of the day, you get 60 or 70 because you've shown everyone throughout the work.

• 25:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. That's crazy, man. Now, I'm always fascinated by people who've achieved great things in their career. Because usually it comes from some dark place. Usually there's somewhere in some part of their mind or spirit or soul where they've experienced some hardship and that's what's driven them to be so great or to get to that level. What were some of the things that you went through? Do you find that to be true about yourself? That you had this drive for some certain reason? Or were you just, everything was always great and you just had these incredible gifts and you just made it to the league and everything was awesome?

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:15Lewis Howes?

  Or was there something that really made you want to become great?

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely. It's the latter. I mean, there's some things that happened and occurred in my, in my journey. You know, I had two great parents, half two great parents, still married. I grew up in Eugene, Oregon. And, you know, I, football was it for me. You know, the University of Oregon Ducks, like everything was right there. My dad played for the Ducks. Like, it was it. I was carving watermelons on game day and going to the games.

• 26:41Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  You know, it was great for me to be in that environment. And all of my heroes were, you know, the Captain Americas, the big, you know, the Hulk Hogans and the the Arnoldts. And it gave, though, this facade of what a man really is.

• 26:54Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  And I think that I never had a scar from my father as far as, I think my father showed me through his actions what a man should be and what a man is.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  But because of what I think movies do to us, we. Put it this way, how many middle aged white boys were at home when Eight Mile came out? And like Eminem was it, suddenly someone understood them, right? Where it's like, dude, you're not, you don't grow up in Detroit, you know? But like what it was in movies like The Program, what it was, right? Like that was almost how we, this bigger, faster, stronger mentality. And so even though my dad wasn't jamming football down my throat, I felt like I was always looking for his approval. And I think in my mom, I think my mom and I are very personality driven, very similar, very good at communicating and very empathetic. And my dad was hard, it was tough for him to kind of export those feelings, those emotions. And so I think I, my mom affirmed me, but I think at some level it kind of emasculated me.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Um, and then it, and then through my dad, I think that he's, I've always sort of been different from him. I'm always a risk taker. He's always very safe. And so like I can tell him, dad, I'll try to be smart, but I can't be safe. Like it's just not in me. And I think he's envious of that a little bit, and I'm envious of a little bit of his even keel. But you know, something that, that happened to me as I, when I was a kid was a sexual abuse. I was, I was sexually abused when I was 10 years old.

• 28:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  Um, from a, from a neighbor. And it was an older, it was an older boy. And it was something that, uh, until I got out of really detox and rehab in 2012, after the pain pill stuff, that was the first time I had voiced it to him.

• 28:32Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 28:33Speaker 01

  And so now in working and working through it and understanding and learning about some of the ways that that skewed, you know, my view of, of sex, my view of, of, of just, uh, what it is as a young boy to be kind of robbed of that, that joy or that innocence, you know? And being, you know, the, the personality that is inviting always.

• 28:53Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  And so I think that there was the first time I felt like I learned behaviorally that I could put on a mask, that I could have some type of like, I could just stuff that down far enough. And no one will ever have to know.

• 29:06Lewis Howes?

  Train like a machine.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 29:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  And X and Y means, and so I was, you know, Homecoming King, Prom King, and Mr. Lancer, the, you know, Mr. Whatever the school is, whatever that is, like I got all of those things, but at the same time, that golden boy image was here and I was trying to push back against it on the, on the other side. And I was trying to like push it with not so much drugs at that early age, but party indefinitely.

• 29:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  And definitely just tried to learn how I could best game life. And that's exhausting. Like that is the quickest way to be torn in two directions and split in half and, and literally not know who you are. And so in retrospect now, a lot of the building blocks out of that pain are because of the beauty in what the story is and how many others have faced something similar.

• 29:50Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Wow. You know, it took me 25 years to open up about being sexually abused and I just felt so shameful and guilty about it the whole time.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:59Lewis Howes?

  And I never felt like I could talk to anyone about it or that they would understand or that they would accept me moving forward. Did you tell anyone at all or friends or family until a few years ago or?

• 30:09Speaker 01

  So in 2012, I told my parents and, uh, you know, again,

• 30:18Speaker 01

  there's not, they, they can't say the right thing.

• 30:20Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  If that makes sense. I-

• 30:21Lewis Howes?

  It's not a fun conversation.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  No, huh. And, and they blame themselves, right?

• 30:25Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  At some level. And at the same time, then you find like, should you be mad at them as if they're responsible, but, but they're not.

• 30:32Lewis Howes?

  They're not.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  And it, and so there's this, it's the, it's the living in the gray, truly.

• 30:37Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  A great friend of mine said, you know, if you look at black under a microscope and white under a microscope, they both look gray. Like where is that place? And it's so it's, it's forgiveness, right? To, to, to, uh, to an extent that doesn't make sense. Um, and then being able to communicate it now with others, it's, it's been amazing piece in, used in small amounts. I don't know. I'm not projecting necessarily, but when I am willing to tell it with authenticity, it reaches someone at the perfect timing. So how selfish of me to not be willing to show their scars. Like people ask all the time in the last three, four years, everything that I've accomplished, what has been the most significant thing I've learned? Cause you can accomplish a lot and not necessarily be learning.

• 31:19Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  And I said that I don't trust an unbroken person. I believe those that are willing to show the scar, that they're proof that they're willing to move beyond it. Like, if you tell me you have it all put together, I'm gonna walk as far away from you as possible. You know, the scar, but when we see your wrist, right? That has a story, right? Specific story that leads into your sister's couch. And again, I can show you a bunch of different scars. Like in fourth grade, when I was trying to impress this girl on a high back, threw my hands back like a little girl and it cut it and the whole pool had to be cleared out, right? Oh, man. So, but the body scars these things down. That's a natural physiological process to protect it. But if you just walk away from it forever and you never use it again, it'll actually scar into a position that it wasn't supposed to. Just like rolling an ankle,

• 32:04Speaker 01

  not getting it treated, then your knee hurts, then your hip hurts. It's the same chain reaction you mentioned earlier with your decision making. So the scar itself is absolutely the pain. It's fueled me. My problem now, post-football, is not becoming an addict to my pain. Because like, pain can fuel you, and it can feel really good. It can drive you to a place that no other thing in your life can give you energy like it, right? But you become a slave to it. Yes. And you're the shark in the water that if you stop swimming, you're gonna get eaten. And that internal unrest, that angst, that's something I live with every day. I'm still learning how to, to deal with this person that wants to punch everything in the throat, but no longer can on the football field. Right. You know? It's challenging, man.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. And then there's this impulsivity around what it is in putting really kind of, I guess, temporal feelings, or excuse me, permanent feelings to a temporal situation. And that's part of the understanding of being able to pause. For example? Well, for example, it's, it's, um, it's as simple for some of our guys with post-traumatic stress as someone cut them off on the freeway. Like, they will get into the gym after driving and traffic and doing all this, be so pissed off and triggered, that they're like, I'm out of here. And I'm like, but you drove to the gym to work out, right? So, we can put those permanent feelings on this temporary situation, you know, or we can find the solution to why you actually came here. And I find myself, call it molehills in the mountains, whatever it is, I find myself becoming...

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Like intoxicated by what fuels me in some of that angst. And so I have to be really mindful that I don't pick it up. Uh, and then accountable uh to people that know my story so that they, when they see that Dave, that kind of starts to do this and spin a little bit that they are able to help.

• 33:49Lewis Howes?

  What's your biggest trigger? What upsets you or makes you angry?

• 33:53Speaker 01

  It's, it's more around the need, the, the standard of excellence. Uh, one of the amazing uh neuropsych that I'm working with down at this brain center yesterday, yesterday before I drove up here to LA. Uh, we sit down for our meeting and the very first thing he does, he just crumples a piece of paper and starts talking to me. Now I've been in plenty of interviews and you know, I knew, I, I know what he's doing. Typically, I, I think he's testing my, my perfectionism, right? Like my OCD, my need to be like, why did you, you know, this goes over here with the other crumpled papers.

• 34:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  So those are things are the, the things that I think do make me great. Like they're the things that drove Mr. Relevant to become a starter in the NFL. You know, they're the things that I think have allowed for the immense amount of growth in such a short amount of time, both foundationally and with my own personal brand. But if I'm not careful, the same sun that melts the ice hardens the clay. And that's where I find myself like going, you know, to the extremes. And so where is it that I live in the, in the moderation, right? So him crumpling that paper, uh, he wanted to see how long it would take until I brought it up. And then finally I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. And I'm like, hey man, like what are we doing about this paper?

• 35:01Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 35:01Speaker 01

  Well, I kind of wanted to push the envelope either. Cause I knew it was coming. And uh, so what we started to unpack though, was just the same thing. Like, hey, bro, I, he's a big professor. He says, I only uh hire interns that have had more than one B. I'm like, okay, he's like, yeah, they're all, you know, high, high levels, but the Bs are the ones that have had to learn that life isn't just As. And I think that's the, you know, living in that grave, man. When it's standard is excellent and elite and it's not met, where's the lesson in that? Not just looking at it as it wasn't enough to get me to the next, to the next goal.

• 35:34Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  So yeah, that's just, it's a, I don't know. Do you find yourself?

• 35:40Speaker 01

  Finding little idiosyncrasies that become these patterns? Or are you pretty quick at blotting them out?

• 35:44Lewis Howes?

  No, my triggers are in sports. When I, well, not in sports, sports or business. When I feel taken advantage of.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 35:52Lewis Howes?

  When I feel like, you know, I'm horrible in the basketball court sometimes. When I, when I'm not focused and aware, I allow people that, you know,

• 36:05Lewis Howes?

  I just, not even good players to like get under my skin. And by the things they say to me or how they're like fouling me. If I think it's like not fair, or if I think it's like, you know, attacking me in a certain way, then I, sometimes I really allow it to affect me. And I hate that I allow it to affect me.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  You think it's transference a little bit?

• 36:25Lewis Howes?

  Transference?

• 36:26Speaker 01

  I, and I don't mean, because again, there's always this, what you see in people that bothers you is what you don't like about yourself.

• 36:32Lewis Howes?

  Oh, sure, yeah, I'm sure.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  Because I'm the same way, like, if I feel, because of the basketball court, right? I was the guy who left football as a superstar and it was like the honorable mention in basketball. The like football rebounder, good defense guy.

• 36:43Lewis Howes?

  Hustle guy.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Hustle guy, always took charges, team guy, coach guy. But that was something that in basketball, I would get frustrated because I wasn't the David on the football field. Right?

• 36:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  And even though I like physically, because we don't play basketball a lot, we feel like we can. They're like, man, this guy's a scrub and he's showing me up. And that pride comes out more as ego than pride as far as like healthy pride.

• 37:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I mean, it's probably some of that, but I think it's just more like if I feel like someone's abusing me. Because I felt abused a lot growing up, that it can be like triggered again. Or I felt like I was being abused. I took that as my story. Right? So I'm aware of it like after it happens, but sometimes I just allow my, my mind just goes into like crazy mode.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 37:21Lewis Howes?

  And it's like, I can't control it unless I like ground myself before I go on the court. I'm like, okay, Lewis, you're not going to push anyone. You're not going to like fight back.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:28Lewis Howes?

  You're just going to like drop your ego.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:31Lewis Howes?

  And if someone steps to you, you're just going to say, I hope you have a good day. But it's like, it's like competitor in me just like wants to dominate sometimes.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  Dude, yeah, it, it's hard to turn it off. I think that the, the exercise that in which you can find what it means to be competitive, even if it's not exported every single day. Like, that's been something for me that it's been, how do I do certain, you know, mind exercise, mindfulness? And it's almost like that's the prison that I'm confined in. And then through that, I walk out and all of a sudden, the world is, I am a different human being because I did that internal strengthening. I don't know how else to, you know, to put it except for to know that like, I do, I had to for an hour last week, just sit in silence in this room with a mirror, and decide whether or not you wanted to stare back at yourself for an hour. This is one of my

• 38:23Speaker 01

  exercises of this. I'm like, have I sat in silence for an hour in the last, I mean, I have kids too, so good luck, right? Good luck. But it was incredible because once I accepted the fact that I was not going to leave this room, no one was going to join, and it was just me in this mirror, then all of a sudden, I started to think about why I hated it so much. And then instead, try, instead of trying to let that be the part that like, festered in me, I tried to just grab that and squeeze it as tight as possible. Like, almost, almost make it another person in the room, that, that, that the angst that I was actually going to overcome was what I wanted as near as possible. So I eventually stood, and then I sat, and then I ended up sitting there and I just closed my eyes. Even though the mirror was in front of me, and I could almost see the person looking back

• 39:08Speaker 01

  at me. And after an hour, it felt like, it felt like maybe 15 minutes, 10, 15 minutes. And I came out, and I had this even cool calm, and I don't even know what tactically happened in there, except for my parasympathetic nervous system turned on, right? And, and some things kind of went by the wayside. And I walked out with a stronger mind, even though physically, I wanted to, you know, I wanted to, when I went in there, I wanted to punch something. When I left there, totally different. So, we are capable, even if we want to say, hey, I'm not good at math, or hey, I'm not good, you can be disciplined and apply yourself, right? I mean, that's, that's it, right? You can be great by digging into people that are right around you doing great things.

• 39:49Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  You gotta be curious, though.

• 39:50Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. I'm curious if you were to go give a speech to all the rookies of the NFL, and you had one minute?

• 39:58Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 40:00Lewis Howes?

  What would you say to them, knowing everything you know from playing and everything after

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:03Lewis Howes?

  the league?

• 40:04Speaker 01

  I had a cool opportunity about a month ago to speak at Ross Business School in Michigan to the NFL player engagement kind of side. So some current players, some retired. But I am going to be going out to a couple of teams and speaking this year. And the, I'd say the three things that I will say is the first, don't be a sponge. I mean, you are going to be bombarded with every, you know, not just winning deal business wise, you know, financially wise, but everything that's going to sound enticing, don't be a sponge. Balance what it is in here with what it isn't here. Because if you're just sponging whatever the next flashy thing is, not only will you not have any flashy things left when it all comes down to it, but you're going to find yourself with tons that you've consumed, tons that

• 40:48Speaker 01

  you've, you know, enjoyed, but nothing that actually is core of who you are. Like when I was in the league, they kept saying, they kept saying, you know, you're, you're developing your brand. But I was like, hey, I'm just trying to last in the NFL. I don't know about this time developing my brand thing. So I just try to get guys to first say, don't be a sponge, which is essentially say, just take a stand, knowing that, hey, this is who I am, this is what I will and won't do. Okay, so don't be a sponge. The next is, think about a time when you were a young kid and someone just took time for you and what that meant, right? If that was on the football field, great. Maybe it was in the weight room, maybe it was in the classroom. But how often are you doing that? Which is the hope dealing

• 41:30Speaker 01

  part. How are you using what your gifts and talents are? I don't just mean money to write a check to charity. Like, how are you actually using bandwidth or sweat equity to better someone else's life? And then, lastly, it's never, as good as it seems, and it never is as bad as it seems. Don't be a sponge, know what you stand for, be a hope dealer, find a way to give back, but in a personal way, not just in starting a foundation and that's the way that you get a tax write-off. I mean, I want you to be boots on the ground. And then that last piece is is more about the identity. I think that it's not as good as it seems, it's not as bad as it seems. When you feel like no one cares, there's still somebody out there that cares.

• 42:13Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  If not, we do.

• 42:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  And then if it's if it seems like it's so good, man, right? Everything's perfect. Just take that with a little bit of an ounce of perspective because you know, you could obviously be be quickly knocked off that high horse. And and that's the piece of the identity. No matter what, man, you're I believe, I believe that your worth is fixed like a nail in mortar. All right, no matter what you achieve, you can't move it up. No matter how badly you failed, you can't move it down. So don't buy into the shame of thinking that you're less than, that you're fractured, that you're somehow a guy with an unloaded weapon in a fight, right? But think about what it is also that no matter how good you do and the whole world loves you and all the money you make, you're right there.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  And so that's a tough concept for all of us to grasp, but I think it helps us to be free from the the need to to achieve to be successful and to matter.

• 43:08Lewis Howes?

  Feel worthy also.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, to matter, yeah.

• 43:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I love that. It's great, man. You've got a new podcast coming out soon, right? What's it called and what's the purpose?

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, so the book that I have coming out in 2018 is The Hope Dealer. The Hope Dealer is exactly what I just said. You know, it's repurposing your gifts and act your pain to help lighten the suffering of someone else. So, you know, the Hope Dealer movement, right? Like, it's cool, we have a whole line, Hope Dealer. Just, you know, don't deal hope, don't deal dope, deal hope, right? That that book is cool and the podcast that comes out this fall, The Hope Dealer, I call it the non podcast podcast.

• 43:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:44Speaker 01

  I love podcasts, love your podcasts, love a lot of these these really cool influencers and entrepreneurs, but I feel like you get a ton of head knowledge you're consuming, you listen, you're hopefully inspired for the moment, the day, the week, maybe a year. Again, there's a small percentage, just like any book, that are going to take it and apply, right? And of course, those are the ones that you pour everything in so that they can get every last bit of content, right? You give them your best. But at the podcast level, these influencers, I feel like they A lot of what you're doing here, like you can go and you can buy. I can find this stuff on Lewis. What I want to do, and what I'm beginning to backfill content is Howard Schultz and I go to Seattle. I fly to the influencer to do the podcast. The podcast is action oriented, so it's on the move.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  It'll be video and audio, but you won't have to be watching the video. It's not about high production value. It's about authenticity. So Howard and I will go into a cancer wing of a hospital. And you're going to, for the first 30 minutes, you're going to get to listen and hear Howard Schultz interact with this kid who has terminal cancer. And I'll facilitate, but it's less about us talking about Starbucks or philanthropy or, you know, the greatest next thing in America. And it's more about you getting to know Howard Schultz on a level because you're in the room with us. So you're going to get 30 minutes of listening and hearing what it is and all that, that context. And then we'll break out and nearest close diner, call it a Starbucks probably.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Little spot that we're going to carve out is just 20 minutes to talk about what we experienced together.

• 45:15Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  And that's when a little bit more of the higher level of philosophy could come out. But I think that the core is about, I don't know, me as the audience, I would want to hear this really, really transparent truth and interaction. And then hear about what it was, because I was with you, in what you drew out of that. It's kind of a cool way to be, to be impacted and to feel like you're, you're a part of the story as well.

• 45:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  So I'm excited about the podcast. There's some really, there's a very diverse group of influencers and entertainers and people I find interesting. And of course, you know, it's just a great way to learn through this conversational style, not just by what you're digging up or what you're applying in your own business.

• 45:53Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. When's it coming out?

• 45:54Speaker 01

  It's coming out in the fall. Yeah, it'll be out in September. I'll get you a launch. We'll ping you on social media for that for sure.

• 46:00Lewis Howes?

  And the book's coming out next year?

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Yep. Book will be after, yep, January. It'll be, it'll be in the spring of 2018.

• 46:06Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool. And where can people go to connect with you?

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Man, they can connect me on Facebook, Instagram, David Vobora, just my name. Twitter, same. Follow Adaptive Training Foundation on all those social channels. TeamATF.org. I promise you can go there and get a daily dose of amazing motivation as you watch what these videos are and the things that these athletes are doing in the gym. Or go to davevabora.com.

• 46:32Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Davevabora.com is another place. But it's just, I'm enjoying seeing what, again, like this foundation is, is a great thing. But as we grow this thing, train trainers nationally, chapter plant nationally, create affiliate chapters, like this isn't the end all be all for me. You know, my goal is to take the book, the podcast, some other independent digital content and craft this Hope Dealer message in a way that offers other opportunities for me to take, you know, business I want to do, commerce I want to do, and align it for cause relation.

• 47:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  I mean, not just because it's good PR.

• 47:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  But because like there's a way to create a legacy and to use money in a way that is more meaningful than just productizing what the piece of business it is that you do, but thinking about, you know, what it could be for for a systemic change to come from what also makes you money.

• 47:20Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  What a novel approach, right?

• 47:22Lewis Howes?

  That's cool, man. That's great. That's great.

• 47:29Lewis Howes?

  Couple final questions for you. I kind of asked you this already, so if it's the same thing, we'll, we'll skip it. This is called the three truths. And you shared kind of three things you would share with the new rookies coming into NFL. But if you had, if this was your final day and you only could share three things with the world, everyone, this is what people would remember you by, would those three things be different? Or would you say something, or would you say the exact same to the rookies as you would to the world?

• 47:57Speaker 01

  I think the world, to me,

• 48:02Speaker 01

  it's very broad, the world, this globe.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  I'd say this, advance toward fear, advance toward freedom, and then advance toward fulfillment.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Fear is that false narrative, right? It's the whisper, fear of inadequacy. When you decide that fear is in fact perception, the danger is real, but you can lean in, advance toward, jump toward, run toward that which scares you most. Then all of a sudden, you're going to advance toward the freedom, the outcome of facing those things, right, which we know is never as significant as what our brain creates. And then through that, you're going to have a different lens in which you view life. And I call that fulfillment because you're going to be able to recognize that you are powerful, that you have what it is inside of you to go forth as a different person.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  You don't go back, right? One, two, and three in that step, fear, freedom, fulfillment, that's accumulative. You can't just get to three before you do one and two. So I think that message is what I try to do daily. I don't do it well always, but you know, the one thing. What is the one thing today that can create the three standard deviation events, changes in my life that are building toward the future self that I want to be? That's it?

• 49:32Lewis Howes?

  I love it, man. I love it. I want to acknowledge you for a moment, David, for your incredible ability to move other people who don't have the opportunities like you did. And for you to go after something, you know, training elite athletes and then say, hey, listen, there's actually a lot of people who need support more than the elite athletes. They're going to be okay. But there's a community of people that really could use someone like me to guide them and get them back to a peak place in their life. So I think it's really moving and touching that you are willing to do whatever it takes to serve people in that manner and constantly give and be a voice for people who maybe, maybe don't share their voice as much as they should.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Thanks, brother. It means a lot.

• 50:18Lewis Howes?

  And also for your ability to transition gracefully after the game. I know there was a couple of years of, you know, pain med and stress and adversity, but now really accelerating it for good. Where most guys, it's more challenging for them.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 50:34Lewis Howes?

  So I want to acknowledge you for all that, man.

• 50:36Speaker 01

  Thanks, brother. It's been an honor to be here, man.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  I continually find myself, you know, after being on Ellen, for example, I don't think it actually set in until a couple of days later when I was like, man, like I, I've watched this show Ellen, right? And always thought how cool it would be, right? Dreamed of being, and I just did that. And you know, and I think for us, we're quick to good player, bad play football, throw the rear view mirror away. And, you know, I appreciate those words, man. Thank you. I need to accept, you know, affirmation, encouragement, compliment in a way that is meaningful because I, I do care about what I'm doing. It is, it is very, it feels good to accept that because I think, um, you know, you see that the effort you're putting in does have this true ripple effect. Um, and, and that's, that's, that's a huge benefit. And Ellen was a cool step in that.

• 51:23Lewis Howes?

  And here's the thing, if you were just training elite college or players or NFL players, like you wouldn't be making an impact in the world the way you are. But by stepping out and doing something that maybe is uncomfortable, but also is super fulfilling for you and giving back in a big way. The more we give back in the world, the more we receive, I believe. And that's why you're getting recognition and attention because you're serving in a bigger cause than just for profit with the elite, you know, guys or whatever, because that's, that's comfortable for you. You can do that all day. You can train with them. You can be with them. You can like talk about the game, but you're doing something that's uncomfortable. Maybe it's comfortable now, but it was uncomfortable to start. And that's why, because you're giving back, you're receiving. So.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  When you, uh, yeah, when you find what it is, it's a source of your dash, right? You born in this world with nothing, you die with nothing. On your gravestone, there's a dash. Like the best conclusion I can draw is you're supposed to give a few things to yourself during that dash. And when you find what it is that, that you thrive at doing, it gives you excitement, it doesn't feel like work, watch out. And that was, you know, that was the beautiful breakthrough in recognizing what it was in Travis, that quadruple amputee, what I challenged him to do. And now it's spun into other awesome, cool business stuff that's coming across my desk that I can either endorse or step into the story and become a part of the group, a part of the team. And that's exciting, right? Because you diversify who you are based around, I call it the Laird Hamilton model, right? I'm either going to make, this cost me nothing because I was paying for it, or I'm going to make

• 52:49Speaker 01

  it pay me money or both, you know? And that's a beautiful piece when that's the lifestyle. So I'm going to work out, I'm going to go brag about the people working out with me because they're awesome. And I think people need to know their story. And I'm going to be humbled to, uh, to always learn from people who are smarter than me and know that when you're the dumbest in the room, you can become the wisest because you can listen.

• 53:09Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 53:10Lewis Howes?

  I love that, man. A final question for you is, what's your definition of greatness?

• 53:14Speaker 01

  My definition of greatness is alignment. I think it's, it's, it's what you're doing with action. You know, we're human beings, right? I'm learning a little bit more of this, this pull, not push, this allow to be. But I think alignment is the perfect way to think about, I guess to think about it as, as shooting a bow, right? If that arrow is not specifically in line with what you're doing, right? Like, that thing could go anywhere. And it could be a great distance, but it may not be great alignment and greatness. And so that's where I, you know, that's where I'm right now is, is I can do the big flash. That's a really cool firework. But do I want to be that? Or do I want to be the light that burns throughout?

• 53:57Speaker 01

  And the sustainability of that becomes a great light on the hill. And that alignment for me is, is where I think my greatness lies. It's, it's by not letting my great attributes become the ones that wreck me because I'm so all in on those principles. Have to find that. I don't like the word balance necessarily, but I like alignment.

• 54:14Lewis Howes?

  David, thanks so much, man.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  Appreciate it.

• 54:18Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, guys. If you enjoyed this one, make sure to share with your friends. LewisHowes.com/491. Tag me on social media, @lewishowes, everywhere that you can think of. I'm pretty much everywhere online right now. And all the show notes, the links, the resources, the videos that we talked about are back on that show note link. LewisHowes.com/491. And if you have any thoughts, suggestions, or questions ever, make sure to tweet me @lewishowes with your ideas there, and I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can. This has been a great episode. I hope you guys enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed connecting with David. And as always, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.