Peeping Cooper

Conan talks to Cooper, an architectural historian from Ohio, about submitting nominations to the historic registry and to find out what kind of building Conan would be. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

  One in four Americans targeted by scams ended up falling for them.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  I did.

• 0:07Conan O'Brien?

  For me, it would be four out of four. Did you fall for a scam?

• 0:09Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam once.

• 0:10Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  They didn't steal much.

• 0:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, still, you got taken for a ride.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  I did.

• 0:15Conan O'Brien?

  And you just put it out there that you're easy to scam.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  I am!

• 0:18Conan O'Brien?

  One accident, a little click, can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  Mmm.

• 0:22Conan O'Brien?

  Thankfully, there's LifeLock. LifeLock has live, US-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft from first alert to full restoration. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. This is a good thing to have in your back pocket, don't you think?

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I need this.

• 0:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you do need it. You need it fast. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 0:51Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly, I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:54Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:57Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 1:02Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 1:04Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 1:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 1:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Aw, man! I didn't know you were doing that.

• 1:14Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:26Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place, so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  Hey Cooper, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Howdy.

• 2:05Conan O'Brien?

  Hey Cooper, how are you?

• 2:06Speaker 03

  Good, how's it going?

• 2:07Conan O'Brien?

  It's going pretty well. I have a few scratchings about you right here. You are Cooper Shields. And you're in, it says here, you're an architectural historian from Ohio. That's about all I know about you.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  That is true.

• 2:24Conan O'Brien?

  Tell me what an architectural historian does.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  Yes, so there are a few different facets an architectural historian can be. A lot of them are like the, the, the educational side, teaching, researching, when whatnot. And the side I'm on, I work for a cultural resource management firm. And a lot of what we do, so most of my company is actually archaeologists. And there's 10 or so of us. And a lot of the projects that we do are government mandated surveys. So when a, when a project is done in the US that requires, that uses federal money, it triggers a cultural resource survey. And so that makes sure that the project doesn't negatively affect any of our cultural heritage, whether that's architectural, historic, or archaeological.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  So what we'll do, what, what I do in the above ground section, as we call it, is you do just survey work. So is that roundabout gonna necessarily impact that historic house that's sitting on that corner? If it is, what can we do to mitigate it? Can they move it slightly? Can they move the house? Can they move the project?

• 3:32Conan O'Brien?

  The house?

• 3:33Speaker 02

  Developers must hate you.

• 3:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you must be hated by, it says here you've been attacked by many developers.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  It's, it's mostly homeowners.

• 3:42Conan O'Brien?

  Homeowners, okay.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, when, when you're driving around in a car with an orange vest on, taking photos of people's houses.

• 3:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  You get, you get some, you get some weird looks.

• 3:52Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I hope so.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  Way to be a peeper.

• 3:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is you could be a- Cooper, you could be a serial peeper who got into this. And you talk a nice game up front about preservation and surveys, trying to lull people into this sort of NPR fog of, uh, it's all legit. But you're a guy in an orange vest, which by the way is not mandated by your job. That's your choice.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  It's branded, but it's not, it's optional.

• 4:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. And, um, you're taking some creepy pictures.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  I never zoom.

• 4:31Conan O'Brien?

  These are not historic homes you're photographing. Often, these are homes that were...

• 4:36Speaker 03

  They're apartment, they're apartment buildings.

• 4:37Conan O'Brien?

  Apartment buildings. They were built in the 1980s.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  College dorms.

• 4:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, college dorms. I have concerns about this sorority.

• 4:51Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, its historical value, sir, it was built in 1993.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  Oh, man, he does such important work and look what he, well, look what we've done to him.

• 5:01Conan O'Brien?

  Is it that important?

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Yes, it is!

• 5:03Conan O'Brien?

  Listen, and Cooper, I don't say that to, in any way, denigrate you. I don't think my job is important, um, and so I think together, we're wasting America's time.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Are any of us actually important in the grand scheme of things?

• 5:17Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, I would say, I don't know, I mean, I think there's some actors, big A-list actors that are very important.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Oh, what, okay.

• 5:27Conan O'Brien?

  I just wanted to throw that out there.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  I didn't think that's the route you'd go for that, but okay.

• 5:30Conan O'Brien?

  Neither did I.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Doctors, your dad was a doctor and your mom was a lawyer.

• 5:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but he was then in a movie and neither was my mom. You know, a DiCaprio, that's like a very important person. And I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's just so obvious.

• 5:44Conan O'Brien?

  This sounds very cool, like, you must have architectural styles that you like, architectural styles that you favor over other styles. What are the kinds that you really like?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 5:56Conan O'Brien?

  What gets you all hot and bothered?

• 5:58Speaker 03

  So I like to say that I prefer historically underappreciated styles. So things like brutalism, postmodernism, like late modernist, like 1970s, 80s, kind of weird stuff that isn't the coolest to the, you know, to the normal observer, but I just-

• 6:19Conan O'Brien?

  It's not the gorgeous Victorian house that's surrounded by stately elms. Brutalism, you're talking about giant blocks, right? And poured concrete. And, um, yeah, of course. And, and, you know, like a giant slice of a window, right? And a, a, a, a really shiny floor and hard surfaces. You like a home that can't be baby-proofed, is that right?

• 6:47Speaker 03

  That's true. It's, it's all danger.

• 6:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. You like a, a, a house where like the nursery has spikes coming out of the floor.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  They're concrete spikes, but yeah, you have to be specific. Um, Boston City Hall, I think, is a really cool building.

• 7:02Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, come on. It's cool.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  I was in it last year. It was great.

• 7:07Conan O'Brien?

  I don't care why you were arrested. That's not important to me.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  It was a conference. Thank you.

• 7:11Conan O'Brien?

  I, sure. We were all arrested. Um, it was, it was the Peepers Conference. You all had giant X-ray specs on. You're all rounded up together. Look, Cooper. Um, they're on to you and I'm on to you. No, that is, I mean, I grew up with that building. That building was, was built when I was a very young boy and I just never liked that building. Has it come around? Is it that our views have changed? And now you appreciate it? Or do you appreciate it because no one else likes it? Ah, that's it.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  So, okay, so there's, there's a chance that I'm, I'm, I'm trying to be- A little bit sneaky about that and think that I like it.

• 7:57Conan O'Brien?

  You're a contrarian, correct?

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:58Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, everyone hates that. Oh.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  I was vindicated because my wife, who is in the same field as I am, we were at that conference last year in Boston and Abby and I, we were just walking around in awe. And so it's not just me and it was also everyone there. It was also a conference on modern architecture. So it might have been a bit skewed in the audience.

• 8:23Conan O'Brien?

  To be fair, I haven't been there in a really long time. I think the last time I was there was when I got arrested. Yeah, why? No. I actually was punched in the face and I had to go later on to some, they called me in for some reason to give testimony or something about beatings and who deserves them and who doesn't. And I deserved one.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  That's an expert witness.

• 8:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 8:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Yeah. Just to describe what's happening here to the listener.

• 8:54Conan O'Brien?

  Sona had just pulled up a picture of the Boston City Hall and showed it to myself and then to David. So when you heard right now, huh? Yeah. See? Uh huh. Yeah. That's what was happening.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  It's been voted like the ugliest building in the country.

• 9:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Multiple times.

• 9:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 9:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's a crime. It's a crime and you're wrong. You know what I love is that, I love that your wife does the exact same thing that you do. That's so, I just picture you meeting, you both reached for the same orange vest and your hands touched. And you were like, excuse me. And she was like, excuse me. And then you went, oh my. And your glasses fogged up. What happened?

• 9:35Speaker 03

  So we met in grad school.

• 9:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  We both went to Ball State University in beautiful Muncie, Indiana.

• 9:42Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute, Ball State? That's David Letterman's college?

• 9:45Speaker 03

  That is David Letterman's alma mater, yes.

• 9:47Conan O'Brien?

  Any college that spits out a David Letterman is okay by me. So, very cool.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  She saw him on campus multiple times and I think it turned into kind of, what's that massing of students over there? And it's, oh, it's David Letterman.

• 10:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I don't get that when I go to Ball State and wander around.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Why would you?

• 10:05Conan O'Brien?

  I walk around and I'm hoping that people come up to me and they don't.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  You didn't go there.

• 10:11Conan O'Brien?

  No. But I've been, I just constantly hang out there hoping that I get some of that

• 10:18Conan O'Brien?

  vestigial Letterman love, you know?

• 10:27Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:30Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 10:45Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 10:58Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 11:18Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 11:53Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  What?

• 11:55Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 11:59Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:00Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 12:07Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 12:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?

• 12:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:13Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:14Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Oh, that's weird.

• 12:22Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider. And that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 12:31Speaker 01

  You travel a lot.

• 12:32Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:33Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 12:45Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:47Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 12:52Speaker 01

  My god.

• 12:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 12:57Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best. Based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 13:24Conan O'Brien?

  So, what are some of the things in life that really get you down?

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Uh, driving?

• 13:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  That's the first thing that popped in my head.

• 13:30Conan O'Brien?

  No, but I've seen you drive and it's true. I'm always picking mailboxes out of your grill.

• 13:36Conan O'Brien?

  You're a creative driver. Uh, look, let's face it. Just living on Earth can be a lot, right?

• 13:41Speaker 01

  It can.

• 13:42Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, oy vey, it's a lot.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:44Conan O'Brien?

  There's gravity, there's mosquitoes, there's the... You know that they say the sun is going to, at some point, go supernova and incinerate the Earth? Probably in five billion years.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:53Conan O'Brien?

  But watch your diet, we might be sticking around for that.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 13:56Conan O'Brien?

  So, cosmically speaking, you've earned a break.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:58Conan O'Brien?

  And you know where this is going? I think you do.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 14:01Conan O'Brien?

  Pluto TV.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  Oh, right, of course.

• 14:02Conan O'Brien?

  To escape all of these hassles in life, you gotta get Pluto TV. Turn off all your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. You've seen them, but you want to see them again. They're old friends.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:14Conan O'Brien?

  Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Dirty Dancing, Alias, X-Files. Pluto TV is completely free.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 14:20Conan O'Brien?

  These streamers, all these things cost so much money these days. And I won't mention that when I do an ad for them, but...

• 14:27Conan O'Brien?

  No subscription, no fees, zero dollars. And as any mathematician will tell you, zero is one of the most profound numbers ever conceived. I was thinking about that this morning.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Wow, that's profound.

• 14:36Conan O'Brien?

  I really wasn't. The best thing on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

• 14:45Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:51Conan O'Brien?

  And getting to be yourself, not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.

• 15:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself. On a walk with a cousin? With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about?

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Because it's family.

• 15:13Conan O'Brien?

  But what about a niece or a nephew?

• 15:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:17Conan O'Brien?

  Like a walk with an ex-wife? I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:24Conan O'Brien?

  Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse, crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, a sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.

• 15:54Conan O'Brien?

  Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

• 16:15Conan O'Brien?

  What do you think, if I were to be a building, or Sona a building, or David Hopping, what kind of style do you think we would be?

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, I've thought about this.

• 16:24Conan O'Brien?

  You just said that like a villain.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  And you've thought about this?

• 16:29Speaker 03

  I've thought about it, yeah.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  So, Conan, so for you, I'm going the postmodern style.

• 16:36Conan O'Brien?

  Why's that?

• 16:36Speaker 03

  So, very avant-garde, kind of late 20th century, and the, the building in specific, specifically that I've thought about is the Disney building, the Disney headquarters in, in LA.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  It's, it's very bright. It's very larger than life. And it's very kind of in your face, purposefully.

• 16:57Conan O'Brien?

  It's in your face?

• 16:58Speaker 03

  But it accepts it.

• 17:00Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, is this the one that has like?

• 17:02Speaker 01

  The dwarves?

• 17:03Conan O'Brien?

  The seven dwarves? The seven little people? Does it have them?

• 17:07Speaker 03

  It does.

• 17:08Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, no, that's not it.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  That's the Disney Concert Hall. That's cool.

• 17:11Conan O'Brien?

  That's the Disney Concert Hall. That would be flattering.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:14Conan O'Brien?

  Show me this other Disney building.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  I think it's just the Walt Disney off, like, office building.

• 17:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Uh, type in, um, ugly shit in LA.

• 17:26Conan O'Brien?

  Pops right up.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Disney Building.

• 17:27Conan O'Brien?

  What's that?

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Team Disney Building.

• 17:29Conan O'Brien?

  Team Disney.

• 17:30Speaker 03

  That's the actual name.

• 17:31Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, and why? Why do you think I'm this building? Uh, be honest.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  So, post-modernism was kind of in a, a response to modernism. Just like international style, early 20th century.

• 17:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, the way Post Malone is a response to a guy named Malone. Yes.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  Malone, right.

• 17:49Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, perfect timing. Oh, for God's sake.

• 17:55Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my God.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  And it was, it was done.

• 17:58Conan O'Brien?

  That's what you think I am? Seriously, people need to go on a website and look up Team Disney Building. That's what you think I am? A building suspended by cartoonish dwarves.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Well, when you think too hard about it, it gets a little weird.

• 18:14Conan O'Brien?

  I know. All right, well, okay, and what about Sona?

• 18:18Speaker 03

  So Sona, I like the Gamble House, which is in Pasadena. It's the, it's the epitome of arts and crafts style.

• 18:26Conan O'Brien?

  I do, you know what?

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Gorgeous.

• 18:27Conan O'Brien?

  I love arts and crafts. Can I see a picture of that, please?

• 18:29Speaker 01

  It's also.

• 18:30Conan O'Brien?

  Come on, Eduardo. What are you doing over there?

• 18:32Speaker 01

  Doc Brown's house in, uh, in Back to the Future as well. Thank you.

• 18:36Conan O'Brien?

  That's a beautiful house.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  It sure is. This is much better than the Team Disney Building.

• 18:41Conan O'Brien?

  That's a gorgeous house.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:44Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, who lives there?

• 18:45Speaker 03

  They might be a museum.

• 18:46Conan O'Brien?

  I think it's a museum now.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, no one lives there.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  Well, if it's a museum, we can go and just hang out there. Courageous enough, yeah.

• 18:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, you wait until closing time, you say, I have to use the bathroom, and then you hide in the stall. And then when they leave, I've done this at many museums.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 18:59Conan O'Brien?

  I do this a lot at presidential museums. I spent six days at the Dwight Eisenhower Museum. Um, it's really fun. You get to wear his pajamas and stuff and hang out. So, um, and what, and David, David, what would David be? Man, these guys are making out better than I am.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  So.

• 19:18Conan O'Brien?

  And remember, it can be a temporary structure.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  I thought you were gonna say Legos.

• 19:23Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it can be like, oh, we tied this together because there was a storm.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  So, um, David's Illinois history, Midwestern, um, I'm thinking a, a nice four square, like prairie style, but early prairie style, just very simple, understated.

• 19:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, simple.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  But still just like a nice, a nice place to be because they're really warm.

• 19:43Conan O'Brien?

  Something you'd pass a thousand times and never think twice.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  Okay, well, those are your words, not mine.

• 19:49Conan O'Brien?

  I hate it here. When you pass that, when you pass my building and you see a bunch of fucking dwarves, you're gonna notice it. You're gonna be like, and a common reaction to me is I don't like what's happening over there, but it did grab my eye.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  So you're not disagreeing with me?

• 20:09Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, Cooper, I have a question because this is something that's near and dear to my heart. And you won't be able to help me here. A part of your job, uh, I believe is writing nominations for the National Historical Registry. Meaning you can help, uh, assign historic status, official historic status and get it on the registry of a building that is linked to an important person. True?

• 20:34Speaker 03

  Correct. So, um, part of my job is oftentimes writing nominations to the National Register of Historic Places, which is the, the country's official register of buildings we deem worthy of, uh, of recognizing, worthy of significance.

• 20:51Conan O'Brien?

  Sure.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  And there are a handful of ways that you can deem those buildings significant. And one, one of them is an important person.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  I think you'll have to die in order for it to, to like work well. I don't think there's oftentimes where they're done when people are living.

• 21:16Conan O'Brien?

  So I'd have to be dead in order for a building to be given historic status. Based on you.

• 21:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm gonna say something for a second. I don't think that's true. When you go to London, you see plenty of those blue plaques and it's to people that, some of them are still alive. It's like, this is Mick Jagger's home where he grew up. You know, you'll see some things like that and some of them, they're not, they're still alive and they're touring, for god's sake. You could be, you could be the case study for the first one in the United States. So, okay, cuz I'd prefer to be alive. And then what structure would be worthy of historic registry? There's my childhood home in Brookline, Massachusetts and, uh, what else? Of course, there's this, I don't know, various elementary schools. And I'm thinking more than one that I went to. Um, there's the Baldwin School, then there's the Michael Driscoll School,

• 22:06Conan O'Brien?

  then of course there's Brookline High. Could I get plaques for all of these or is it just a one and done thing? So the plaques are the things you can just kinda do on your own if you want to. They're not, the plaque isn't the official part, so we can just make one and go tape it up. You know what? Uh, David? I'll order one after this. As my assistant, one, no. Where, oh, yeah, I want all kinds of plaques. Okay. They have to be fairly cheaply made cuz I'm gonna want a lot of plaques. I want homes that I've lived in, in New York. I want homes that I've lived in, in Los Angeles. I moved around a lot when I was a young man. This building. This, oh, Larchmont, here, this Larchmont Studios. Where magic was made, yes. So, across the board, we're gonna need a lot of plaques.

• 22:51Conan O'Brien?

  They should probably be made of a durable paper.

• 22:55Conan O'Brien?

  You know, initially rain resistant, but then they, because we're gonna, I don't wanna spend too much money on, and these are, and a lot of places, a lot of places need to be, uh, yeah, I don't know how it all works, but I guess I'd like you to look into it some more. I'd like a way to have a plaque put somewhere with my name on it, on some structure, and I'd like it to be while I'm alive. So can you be thinking about that?

• 23:19Speaker 03

  My wife Abby actually works for the Ohio State Historic Preservation Office as one of the National Register of Historic Places reviewers.

• 23:27Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  So I will, I will, I will take this to her.

• 23:30Conan O'Brien?

  But wait a minute, it has to be in Ohio?

• 23:32Speaker 03

  No.

• 23:33Conan O'Brien?

  I've been through Ohio, but I don't know that I've-

• 23:35Speaker 03

  Every state, every state has a Historic Preservation Office.

• 23:38Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  The State Historic Preservation Office.

• 23:40Conan O'Brien?

  I want, I am not kidding. I want Abby, may I call her Abby?

• 23:44Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 23:45Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. I want Abby on this, uh, I want her to be looking into it. Um, and my requirements are a plaque, well, I'm gonna be, you know, if, if I don't have to supply it and someone else is paying for it, um, I want it to be a plaque, a real plaque, and it should be someplace, I believe, in Massachusetts. And, uh, we need to get this done. We need to get it done quickly so I can hang out there and then act like I didn't notice there was a plaque. To, to, I mean, imagine.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:18Conan O'Brien?

  Being, hanging out and having a plaque and being like, oh, oh, I guess that's me, yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  But you're hanging out right next to it.

• 24:29Conan O'Brien?

  You got it.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  And you're just acting like you had no idea.

• 24:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'll, I'll get like, um, I don't know, I'll get a sugar cone, ice cream, you know, and I'll just be like, this is good ice cream. Oh, this? I guess that's where I was born.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 24:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  That's so sad.

• 24:49Conan O'Brien?

  Who looks into whether these plaques are accurate or not? Let's say I wanted a plaque that said, this is where Conan O'Brien set the record for most touchdowns in a high school football game. Does someone fact check that shit?

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Probably not. I think you can just go to a trophy manufacturer and they'll make you a plaque.

• 25:08Conan O'Brien?

  I've done that. I've been thrown out of so many trophy stores. That's all I've been forcibly walked out of several.

• 25:17Conan O'Brien?

  Several trophy stores.

• 25:19Speaker 03

  I think the amount of oversight would be dependent on where it's placed because if you put that outside of it, like a Dairy Queen.

• 25:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  I don't think many people would think, think too strong, but if you put it at, you know, outside of the Soldier Field, that.

• 25:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. People are gonna see it. You're right. I gotta pick an in. Yeah, if my plaque is a, just a blatant lie, then it should be someplace quiet. Um, Cooper, this is, I have to say, this, this interview started out very quiet, you know? You were talking about surveys. Um, I panicked for a second and then this turned into one of my favorite interviews in a while. So.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  I appreciate that.

• 26:02Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, you started slow, as I did in life. I, you started slow and then bang, it was fantastic. Absolute joy talking to you. Seriously.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 26:12Conan O'Brien?

  You're very funny. You have a dry wit. Uh, you're clearly very intelligent and I think you're doing something cool and.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  I appreciate it.

• 26:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I, I really do appreciate this and I do, not kidding, I'm gonna wanna hear from Abby, okay?

• 26:25Speaker 03

  I'll, I'll make sure that happens.

• 26:27Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. All right. Take care, man. Good to talk to you, Cooper.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Thank you all. I appreciate it.

• 26:31Conan O'Brien?

  Bye, Cooper. Bye.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  Bye bye.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross and Nick Leo. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berman. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.

• 27:21Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right.

• 27:31Conan O'Brien?

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• 27:35Speaker 01

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• 27:35Conan O'Brien?

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• 27:37Speaker 01

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• 27:38Conan O'Brien?

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  I know, I remember that. That was not good.

• 27:43Conan O'Brien?

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• 28:05Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right?

• 28:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 28:08Conan O'Brien?

  Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold? Did you know that, David?

• 28:15Speaker 03

  No, but I feel like we need it.

• 28:16Conan O'Brien?

  Why didn't you know that, David?

• 28:17Speaker 03

  I know, you expect me to know everything.

• 28:19Conan O'Brien?

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