"Emma Thompson"

Have you been working on your faces in the mirror all morning? It’s Emma Thompson. Barney’s, Boredom, and Haggis. “Get in the ice, you’re gonna love it!” On an all-new SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Jason Bateman?

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• 1:29Sean Hayes?

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• 2:05Sean Hayes?

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• 2:50Speaker 02

  So hello, everyone, darling listeners. It is Emma Thompson here, calling you from blighty, the shores of Great Britain. My microphone is propped up on, well, actually, one of the boxes has got my quite posh cards in that I recently invested in, which had my name in tiny little, really, sort of delicate letters, and I felt it was sort of quite, I just thought it was classy. Anyway, I may be wrong, of course, I often am. So the books are Truth and Repair by a woman called Judith L. Herman, author of Trauma and Recovery. You may be getting a sense here.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  Then there's Getting Over Your Parents, which is a very important book for anyone who is human. And then there's On Being Nice, which of course is a very important thing, but don't take it too far. That's what I always say. Oh, there was one other thing. Welcome to Smartless.

• 4:10Sean Hayes?

  I'm an actor and I have to be on camera today. Oh.

• 4:14Will Arnett?

  Here, have you been, have you been working on your faces in the mirror all morning?

• 4:16Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 4:18Will Arnett?

  Let's see, surprise, surprise, let's see, surprise. Wow, God, that's so good.

• 4:22Jason Bateman?

  Now, one with the mouth closed, one with the mouth closed, still rolling?

• 4:28Jason Bateman?

  So Sean, you shoot today, huh?

• 4:29Will Arnett?

  That's how JB directs.

• 4:30Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I do, right after this, actually.

• 4:32Will Arnett?

  JB, is that how you direct actors?

• 4:34Jason Bateman?

  Still rolling, still rolling, and one with the mouth closed? Okay, good, good, good.

• 4:37Sean Hayes?

  By the way, that's-

• 4:38Jason Bateman?

  Don't look right at the camera, don't look right at the camera, still rolling.

• 4:41Sean Hayes?

  By the way, I just got that note, I'm not even kidding. Sean, can you close your mouth in this scene?

• 4:46Will Arnett?

  No.

• 4:48Will Arnett?

  No.

• 4:48Sean Hayes?

  Was it a dialogue scene, did they just want you to stop, stop talking? No, it was just like, no, it was just like, my character was like, I can't believe what you're saying. Like, I was just like, are you seri- like, kind of, I seriously, I was like... And she's like, can you do it with your mouth closed?

• 5:00Will Arnett?

  Do you, could you, could you do it with your mouth closed?

• 5:03Sean Hayes?

  I tried, I tried, really hard.

• 5:05Will Arnett?

  But you're like, I have dialogue, they're like, yeah, we know, just mouth closed.

• 5:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I'm just prepping my, prepping my mouth to talk.

• 5:10Will Arnett?

  And you're gonna go on, on background. Um, that's gonna be your cue.

• 5:15Jason Bateman?

  And just try thinking your lines on this take. Here we go, everybody.

• 5:19Sean Hayes?

  Wait, do you-

• 5:20Will Arnett?

  I was doing, I was doing this scene once years ago, and Eli was there, we were in France, and I had to do this long shot, I'm walking down the thing, and I get to the, and Eli goes, "Bro, your legs are really wide apart, okay, your, your gait's really wide." And I go, "Oh, okay." And then, and I had to do it like, five more times, the whole time, I'm just thinking about how I was walking.

• 5:37Sean Hayes?

  Close your legs.

• 5:38Will Arnett?

  Which is the worst.

• 5:39Jason Bateman?

  That's the way you walk, I could do your walk in two seconds.

• 5:41Will Arnett?

  I know, I know, I walk with a wide gait.

• 5:43Sean Hayes?

  Oh yeah, you're a little bow-legged, yeah, like you just got off a horse.

• 5:45Will Arnett?

  Well, hang on, this is not an excuse to just pile on. I'm very vulnerable this morning.

• 5:49Jason Bateman?

  I think I'm actually bow-legged, I don't think, Will, you're bow-legged, you just happen to swing your legs around one another when you walk.

• 5:58Will Arnett?

  I have long legs.

• 6:01Jason Bateman?

  You do have long legs. I was thinking about you watching all the, all the hockey this weekend with you filling up that goal crease.

• 6:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 6:07Jason Bateman?

  You know, you need a tall guy in there, right? Get that shoulder up into the, into the high corners.

• 6:12Will Arnett?

  Back in the day when, when I played, it was much more about getting on the ground, stacking the pads.

• 6:16Jason Bateman?

  Oh, sure.

• 6:17Sean Hayes?

  Stacking the pads.

• 6:18Will Arnett?

  Instead of a butterfly.

• 6:19Jason Bateman?

  So Will, with you being a Toronto fan, are you keeping it with Canada and rooting for Montreal?

• 6:25Will Arnett?

  I sure am. Yeah. I'm all the way. Yeah.

• 6:28Jason Bateman?

  And Sean, who's your pick to win this cup?

• 6:30Sean Hayes?

  Between the two, between Canada and.

• 6:32Jason Bateman?

  Over there at the, well, it looks like it's gonna be Vegas, which will air, this will air afterwards, but it's pretty exciting.

• 6:40Sean Hayes?

  Will used to, well, a couple of years ago, or three years ago, Will had me record my picks. Do you remember that?

• 6:48Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah, for the Stanley Cup.

• 6:50Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. And so every week I would record the picks and why I, they would win.

• 6:56Jason Bateman?

  Sean, I'm gonna give you three guesses what the name of the team in Las Vegas is called. The hockey team.

• 7:02Sean Hayes?

  Okay, let me ask you this. Does it have something to do with the city itself?

• 7:05Jason Bateman?

  It does not.

• 7:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it really doesn't.

• 7:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, they're not called the Chips or the, or the Cards. Yeah, no.

• 7:14Sean Hayes?

  What about?

• 7:15Jason Bateman?

  It's Elizabethan. I'll give you a hint. It's Elizabethan or it's like.

• 7:19Will Arnett?

  Well, I mean.

• 7:19Sean Hayes?

  Kings, the Kings.

• 7:21Will Arnett?

  That's close. That's close. I mean, it could be any of those.

• 7:24Jason Bateman?

  The Golden Knights.

• 7:25Will Arnett?

  Eras.

• 7:25Sean Hayes?

  The Golden Knights.

• 7:26Will Arnett?

  The Golden Knights.

• 7:27Jason Bateman?

  The Golden Knights.

• 7:27Will Arnett?

  I'll tell you who's golden.

• 7:29Jason Bateman?

  Oh, here he comes. Will's got a lunch cake.

• 7:31Will Arnett?

  You guys like a, you like a segue?

• 7:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 7:34Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 7:34Will Arnett?

  Uh, well, I mean, she's golden in that, I mean, you know, she's obviously won two Golden Globe Awards and been nominated for like, like 11 or something. Yeah, yeah. And, and, and won two Academy Awards of the five that she's been nominated for.

• 7:48Jason Bateman?

  Oh, no. Wait a second. Five nominations? That's.

• 7:51Will Arnett?

  And these, and in fact, she's the sole artist thus far to be, to be, to have received an Academy Award for both acting. And screenwriting, acting for Howard Zinn, screenwriting for Sense and Sensibility.

• 8:05Jason Bateman?

  Emma Thompson.

• 8:07Will Arnett?

  Guys, it's just Emma Thompson. I can't even get into her credits. It's Emma Thompson.

• 8:10Sean Hayes?

  Emma Thompson, no way.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 8:13Jason Bateman?

  Incredible, incredible.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Hello. Nice to see you. I literally didn't understand a word of any of that.

• 8:21Jason Bateman?

  I love the.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  Oh my God, three guys talking about hockey. It's fascinating.

• 8:25Jason Bateman?

  I love your refugees on the floor in the background.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, can you see them?

• 8:31Will Arnett?

  Yeah, sure.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  That's my daughter and her boyfriend. They can't hear you, which is just tragic because all they can hear is me and they're used to me. So why?

• 8:38Jason Bateman?

  Why don't you give them a chair to sit on?

• 8:41Speaker 02

  They're gonna go and sit outside. I don't think you can. They're going.

• 8:47Jason Bateman?

  Now, where are you? Are you, are you at their house or your house?

• 8:50Speaker 02

  No, I'm, I'm in my office actually. I was looking behind Sean. He's got a very posh kind of array.

• 8:58Jason Bateman?

  Well, you should see it when it stacks the awards back there.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  There's awards, there's like loads of statues and portraits and photos and books. And, and, and, and Jason's got like some sky, which is good. And Will is in deep darkness, which given the fact that he's giving us kind of vampire voice. It also works, you know? It's all, it all, it's all making more and more sense.

• 9:22Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Now, we were making fun of Sean the other day because he had one of his awards behind him as, as people do. For some weird reason on their, their zoom frame usually includes any awards that one may have won. You don't have any awards behind you and you've won tons. Where are they all?

• 9:38Will Arnett?

  Yeah, where are they?

• 9:40Speaker 02

  The Oscars are in the Levittree because that just keeps them in their place. The Globes and the BAFTAs and all that are on a very high shelf somewhere where I. Can't see them. I don't know. I think that's very British.

• 9:57Jason Bateman?

  We have a friend that has an award and she keeps it in the bathroom as well and puts the toilet roll on one of the extended limbs.

• 10:04Will Arnett?

  It's a holder.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:05Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's taking it even further than me.

• 10:09Will Arnett?

  You know what? I think that maybe you ought to go the other way, which is have a table right in your foyer as you walk into your place with a spotlight.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:18Will Arnett?

  And just lean into it. You know what I mean?

• 10:21Jason Bateman?

  So they know what they're dealing with.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  That's it. Or you just put them in the doorway, like just so that when people come in, they just trip up over them.

• 10:29Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  We go, I'm so sorry. This is my Oscars. Sorry.

• 10:32Sean Hayes?

  Careful.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  I'll just move them.

• 10:33Sean Hayes?

  Right this way. Yeah.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:35Will Arnett?

  Just on the floor.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Do come through. Do come through. Would you like to freshen up? Yeah. Yeah. And then have copies of them in the toilet so they can't get away, ever. And then another, you know, just have them everywhere.

• 10:47Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  So people just go, I need to leave.

• 10:49Will Arnett?

  Lean into it. I think that that's a good idea.

• 10:52Jason Bateman?

  Where is your office? Are you in England or New York or Los Angeles?

• 10:56Speaker 02

  I'm so in England, but it doesn't feel like it today. Actually, everyone is experiencing a trauma, a London trauma. So I'm in London, North London, where I've lived all my life. I've lived on the streets since I was six years old. So that's six years, one year. Yeah, weird. Quite weird. Anyway, suddenly, we got a heat wave, which obviously has nothing to do with climate change.

• 11:19Jason Bateman?

  No, it's all a hoax.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Why would we even suggest that? But it's 35 degrees in London and, you know, things are just dying in front of you.

• 11:31Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Pets, household appliances, flower, everything is just wilting. It's like, you know, Dracula's walked into the town.

• 11:40Jason Bateman?

  And there's not a lot of air conditioning either, right?

• 11:42Speaker 02

  We don't know. We don't have air conditioning here. It's ridiculous.

• 11:45Jason Bateman?

  Or ice.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  We have three hot days a year.

• 11:47Sean Hayes?

  Or ice.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  But they're 36 degrees.

• 11:49Jason Bateman?

  Or ice.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, or ice. Yeah. Although that's coming.

• 11:53Jason Bateman?

  Emma, why is that?

• 11:54Sean Hayes?

  That's coming.

• 11:56Jason Bateman?

  Why is it that Europe, on the whole, somehow sort of all...

• 12:02Jason Bateman?

  Made a consensus decision.

• 12:03Will Arnett?

  Take on Europe on this.

• 12:04Jason Bateman?

  That that that that carbonated drinks don't taste better with ice cubes. I mean, it seems pretty clear that they do. That it's just objectively true, right? That but yet they still you have to ask for ice with a with a so I sound like an ugly American here. I apologize.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  No, you're just obsessed with ice. Americans have always been obsessed with ice.

• 12:24Jason Bateman?

  When I used to.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  You're obsessed with it. I'm sorry, but you are. When I first arrived in America and ice was just it was just brought. You were practically put in a fucking ice bath when you arrived.

• 12:35Jason Bateman?

  So excited about it.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Get in the ice, get in the ice, you're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. Everything came with ice. You know, chicken Parmesan came with ice. I'm like, what's going on here? This is mad. You're not obsessed with it. And we don't have that obsession because we don't have probably as much money. Or and our refrigerators are not as big and they don't produce ice. We all get fridges that say they produce ice and then within a week they've broken down.

• 13:05Sean Hayes?

  So what do you do to beat the heat?

• 13:09Speaker 02

  You just lie face down on the pavement panting. Hoping that some dog will come and whittle on you and cool you down. I mean, we don't have.

• 13:17Will Arnett?

  But here's the thing, you just you just kind of you just take it. We you don't we don't need to always be in our perfect comfort zones at all times. That's the whole point of life. There are things that happen. There are days where you're hot and you do and there are days that are cold. But it is true that in this country, I'm Canadian, by the way, Emma, so I'm with you.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  You're Canadian well, darling. But I think you guys are used to extreme temperatures and we live in a temperate zone. And we're really not used to it. And now because of climate change, look at my face. I mean, I'm the same color as one of the stripes in my shirt. It's tragic. But, you know, it's like we're just not we're just not used to it. And it's it's quite it's really weird, actually. It's so hot.

• 13:59Jason Bateman?

  It's happened. How was it last summer? Last summer was super hot there too, right? Europe had a huge heat.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, super hot, super hot. And I was traveling on the tube. Were you there?

• 14:07Sean Hayes?

  I was there last summer.

• 14:08Will Arnett?

  He was doing his play. He was doing his play.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Oh, man, it was so hot.

• 14:12Sean Hayes?

  And, and, and, like to everybody's point, there's no air conditioning. We were staying in a place that had air conditioning, but there was, and we were rehearsing in a place that was like a greenhouse with no air.

• 14:24Jason Bateman?

  And what about the theater, Sean? Did the theater have air conditioning?

• 14:26Sean Hayes?

  No, air conditioning in the theater.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:28Jason Bateman?

  What?

• 14:28Speaker 02

  No, there's no air conditioning in our theaters.

• 14:31Jason Bateman?

  Come on.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Because we've never needed it before and we haven't adapted yet to climate change.

• 14:36Will Arnett?

  I want to, I want to, Emma, you're talking about taking the tube. What's your experience like when you take the tube? Are you, as, in, in London, are you approached constantly and mobbed by people asking you?

• 14:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:48Will Arnett?

  Questions? No, no.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  No, not at all. Nobody takes any notice on the tube. They're all looking at their phones.

• 14:54Jason Bateman?

  But my guess is that when they, when they do recognize you, it's something very charming and respectful and, and they, they say which movie that they love. It's like, she's a respected actor as opposed to like a celebrity. Like you see a celebrity out, it's, it's like, it's like a, a, a giraffe has escaped the zoo and you got to get a picture of it on your phone.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Yes, it's a different thing.

• 15:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  You're right. I'm very lucky, I think, because it's the same in Europe. People have a relationship with, I don't know what it's like for you guys, but you know, you must have this, Jason, that people have a relationship with a particular role that you might have played, or maybe a couple. And we've done lots and lots of different things. So that, I think if, for instance, you're sort of an action hero, I can imagine that for somebody like, I don't know, Schwarzenegger or Stallone or Bruce Willis, you know, then there's a very specific response every single time. But for, for me, you know, I can pass, not necessarily unnoticed, but certainly it's never been an issue, actually.

• 16:00Jason Bateman?

  What's your, what's your, what's your least favorite kind of?

• 16:05Jason Bateman?

  Of of interaction with with a with a fan like like when you're with your family or or I mean, because it's like there's there's some there's something I always get embarrassed if it ever causes like a scene. In other words, grabs the attention of others that might not otherwise know who I am or notice it, you know, like it it's it's great when it's just sort of mellow and quiet and and and passive, right?

• 16:32Speaker 02

  Yes, I mean, it's lovely and people will just pass you and still keep walking.

• 16:36Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  They go, love your work, bye.

• 16:38Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  It's lovely, but when you're sort of buying sausages with your daughter.

• 16:45Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  You don't really want them to come up and go, can I have a selfie? Selfies are interesting, aren't they? How do you guys feel about those?

• 16:54Jason Bateman?

  Right, well.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  How do you feel about the, do you feel that they're intrusive at all? What do you think?

• 16:59Jason Bateman?

  Well, no, but I I would have noticed is that in the old days it used to be autographs. And if you didn't have a piece of paper or a pen, then it was just, hey, nice, nice to meet you and like your work. And it was it was a night, but now everybody's got a phone. So even if you don't want an autograph, right? Slash picture, you still sort of feel obligated. Well, I better take this, you know?

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 17:20Jason Bateman?

  And so people kind of line up a little bit. And anyway, it's I'm not, I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Do you ever say no?

• 17:26Jason Bateman?

  No, never.

• 17:28Will Arnett?

  Never?

• 17:28Jason Bateman?

  And I I've been with people.

• 17:30Will Arnett?

  I don't either.

• 17:30Jason Bateman?

  I mean, never is probably I might, I'm sure I have, but I don't.

• 17:34Will Arnett?

  I do when I'm with the kids sometimes, when I'm when I'm when I'm with, if I'm with the kids or with the little kids. And if and if it's an adult asking, I'll say no thing. I've never said no to a kid.

• 17:44Jason Bateman?

  I have, I have said that, I have said that.

• 17:46Will Arnett?

  But I've said sometimes.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  I'm the same, Will. I wouldn't ever say no to a child, but sometimes if I'm with the family, I'll say, would you mind awfully? I I just, I I'm with my family. And what's so interesting to me is that every time I have said no, and it's quite rare, people have taken it so well because they seem completely to understand.

• 18:08Will Arnett?

  Uh huh.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  So in a way, I feel like they know what they're asking for, that what they're asking for is a little bit. Kind of, it's a lot to take a photograph of somebody.

• 18:18Jason Bateman?

  I have some famous friends that they say no all the time. They never say yes. And it makes me so uncomfortable that they're like, I just feel like that's so nasty.

• 18:26Will Arnett?

  Because it's such an easy give in a way.

• 18:28Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  It's an easy give.

• 18:30Sean Hayes?

  Have you ever gotten, um, hey, can I get a picture really quick? And then they hand you the camera? Cause that's happened to me.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  Many times.

• 18:36Will Arnett?

  They want you to take a picture of them with their friends.

• 18:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Many times. I've also, I've also many times got, oh my God, you're, and then they say the name of a completely different actress. So I have the choice, I either say, yes, I am so and so. I would love to give you a photograph. Or I say, I'm 20 years younger. Or I say, oh, I'm 20 years older. Or I say, no, she's dead, actually. But then I just kind of move gently on through.

• 19:09Will Arnett?

  Uh huh. You know what's funny? I had, the other day I had, I was sitting in a restaurant and I had two interactions in a row, back to back. First of all, I had a woman come over and say, and I was sitting with my sister and my brother in law and our buddy Eli,

• 19:22Will Arnett?

  Canadian Eli, and he said, uh, this woman said, um, uh, so sorry to bother you. And I know that you're eating and then proceeded to sit down on the bench next to me.

• 19:31Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 19:32Will Arnett?

  And, and begin a conversation, at which point I was like, well, you're not that bothered.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:36Sean Hayes?

  Did she grab a fry?

• 19:37Will Arnett?

  Then she left, she left. And then this other woman came over and she said, my friend is a fan, but, um, I'm sorry, what's your name? And Eli goes, Jason Bateman. She said, thank you so much. And she walked away. JB forgot, JB forgot to tell you that. It was so good. It was so good.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Oh, I had a really wonderful one. I was in Harry's Bar in Venice, which is, Oh, yeah. You know, the original Harry's Bar and it was very nice. It was years and years ago. And a woman came up, she was in the other room and she kept on peeling off these massive smiles and grins at me and waving. And I thought, okay, so she must know my work. That seems fair enough. I'm in Venice. It's the festival, blah. Anyway, she came over as she was leaving and said, I'm so happy to see you in here. I said, oh, thank you. Thinking, why? And then she said, you know, I still wear those shoes. Shoes, I wear them all the time. I love them. You were so right. I was wrong and you were right. I'm thinking, shoes.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  And then she said, you remember, I'm staring at her thinking, I just, I can't work this one out. I haven't made a film about shoes, have I? She said, you remember the fifth floor in Barney's? So she thought that I'd sold her a pair of shoes in the shoe department at Barney's. And she was thrilled to see me in Harry's bar because clearly that meant I was doing quite well for myself. Do you know what I mean? That I was like in the same, I was in the same arena as a woman who buys shoes on the fifth floor at Barney's. And that that gave her pleasure and she needed to convey that to me, which was very kind, I thought, actually. And I said, I'm so glad they still fit.

• 21:19Jason Bateman?

  Now, Emma, do you miss Barney's like I miss Barney's?

• 21:22Speaker 02

  I do.

• 21:22Jason Bateman?

  I miss Barney's a lot.

• 21:24Will Arnett?

  We were just talking about it the other day. I miss it so much.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  We're admitting to terrible shallowness, but I do, I really do.

• 21:31Will Arnett?

  By the way, both New York and LA.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  It's sad. Yeah, both places. I loved those places. I loved them.

• 21:37Sean Hayes?

  What happened to it?

• 21:38Speaker 02

  What happened?

• 21:39Jason Bateman?

  How would it go belly up? It's because people shop online now, right? Is that right?

• 21:43Will Arnett?

  I guess.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, everything.

• 21:44Sean Hayes?

  I have to go to the shoe, right, directly to the shoe department at the Barney's.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Definitely.

• 21:48Will Arnett?

  No, just walk in the men's, you walk in the back way there on like, what is that, like 59th Street? You can walk in that back door.

• 21:54Sean Hayes?

  I was talking about Los Angeles.

• 21:55Jason Bateman?

  There was one downtown, too.

• 21:56Will Arnett?

  Well, the original at 17th Street.

• 21:58Sean Hayes?

  Oh, guys, keep saying numbers, saying numbers more.

• 22:04Sean Hayes?

  And we will be right back.

• 22:08Sean Hayes?

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• 22:35Sean Hayes?

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• 23:20Will Arnett?

  Everyone loves a buffet, right? Choosing exactly what you want, yes, just does something to you, you know? You grab a little bit of this, a little bit of that, maybe something you didn't even plan on grabbing and suddenly your plate is full and you're feeling pretty good about your choices. Well, guess what? Investing with Schwab is kind of like a big, beautiful buffet. Yeah, lots of options and no one's judging what ends up on your plate. It's everything investors need, all in one place. You want a hearty scoop of self-directed investing? Knock yourself out. You want full-service wealth management? Delicious. Trading, retirement planning? Go ahead, pile it on. Maybe you keep things simple.

• 24:02Will Arnett?

  Maybe you go back for seconds or even thirds. Hey, there's no shame in building the financial plate that works for you. At Schwab, you can invest your way because you're in control. But hey, only if you want to be. Visit schwab.com to learn more. That's S-C-H-W-A-B dot com.

• 24:27Jason Bateman?

  Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious? Like hotels.com. What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices and you earn rewards every time you book. So your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple and you get more out of every stay. Sign up for free and book today. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 25:07Sean Hayes?

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• 25:50Sean Hayes?

  Remember, GoodRx is not insurance, but works whether you have insurance or not. And it could beat your insurance copay price. Save time and money on your prescriptions this season. Check out GoodRx at GoodRx.com/smartless. That's GoodRx.com/smartless.

• 26:12Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 26:15Will Arnett?

  Wait, Emma, so, listen, let's go back, let's go back, let's go back. I love...

• 26:20Jason Bateman?

  The interview. This is where the interview.

• 26:22Sean Hayes?

  You guys, Emma's here.

• 26:24Will Arnett?

  Emma, we're the worst interviewers of all time. I'm so sorry. And you're realizing that in real time. And your regret is evident. We.

• 26:36Will Arnett?

  So I didn't know that you were, that you started, well, I started, but you were in the acclaimed Footlight Sketch Group at Cambridge, which has seen a lot of great performers. So you, you have a history of sketch comedy, which is so amazing.

• 26:51Jason Bateman?

  I didn't know that. That's cool.

• 26:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I did that for years.

• 26:55Jason Bateman?

  Would that be like the British Lampoon type of thing?

• 26:58Will Arnett?

  Sort of, yeah. It's an equivalent to sort of the Lampoon in a way-ish, but it's more of a sketch.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  But you know, it's like SNL. SNL is basically what I would think of as review. So back in the day, in the early part of the 20th century, review was huge in our country. And it was basically a collection of sketches, songs, you know, just a kind of review.

• 27:21Will Arnett?

  Like a variety show.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  And I, a variety show, yes. And that's what we did. It's completely dead now. We don't, we don't have review anymore. But SNL is a form of review. It really is. It's sketches and songs and music. And, you know, it's little bites. And I started doing that, absolutely, with Hugh Laurie and.

• 27:44Will Arnett?

  Stephen Fry.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Stephen Fry.

• 27:46Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 27:46Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wow.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  Did it for years. In fact, I was gonna be a comedian. That was what I wanted to be because I admired Lily Tomlin.

• 27:52Jason Bateman?

  I never knew that.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  So greatly.

• 27:55Jason Bateman?

  She's great.

• 27:55Will Arnett?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  And Jane Wagner, you know, the signs of intelligent life in the universe. All of her beautiful characters.

• 28:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, incredible.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  I loved that. That's what I wanted to do for a living.

• 28:05Jason Bateman?

  But you are still doing it because anytime there's a character that lends itself even slightly to comedy, you take that and you expand that and you're always freaking hilarious whenever you choose to be.

• 28:17Will Arnett?

  Excellent timing.

• 28:18Jason Bateman?

  That beautiful British dryness. It's just, oh.

• 28:21Sean Hayes?

  Well, I mean, I was gonna ask you, maybe these guys are gonna make fun of me, but I'm a massive Harry Potter fan.

• 28:26Will Arnett?

  Oh, no kidding?

• 28:27Sean Hayes?

  And you.

• 28:29Jason Bateman?

  Show us the wand.

• 28:32Sean Hayes?

  I don't, I really do have one. But Professor, but you as Professor Sybil, right? Professor Sybil?

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Sybil Shulon, yeah.

• 28:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. That was.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  She said, fatigued.

• 28:43Sean Hayes?

  Speaking about like characters and like Lily Tomlin and Jane, and there's all those things that Lily Tomlin. When I saw that, it was such a, and this is a compliment, such a big character in a world that has big characters. With the, you guys, if you haven't seen it, she has like Coke bottle glasses, like literally this thick that make her eyeballs this big. And, and she's neurotic and, and she gets possessed and it's, it's such an incredible character. How did you trust that that was, that your choice to come in on the first day, we talk about this a lot on the show.

• 29:15Will Arnett?

  With a huge swing.

• 29:16Sean Hayes?

  Which a huge swing was gonna be, how did you trust that? You know what I mean?

• 29:20Speaker 02

  You don't really, do you?

• 29:21Sean Hayes?

  And how did you come up with the character?

• 29:23Speaker 02

  Well, it was, it's written in the books.

• 29:25Sean Hayes?

  That she has those glasses?

• 29:26Speaker 02

  In the rolling books, yeah. That she, I think she's definitely nearly blind, can't see anything. And obviously deeply neurotic because she can see sometimes whether people are, you know, have the grim or not. So, I mean, honestly, in my quite long career, given the fact that I'm good 10 years older than all of you guys. I have done many, many parts and, and I've spent about 30 days on Harry Potter in my whole life. You know, so it's kind of a strange thing to talk about because it's become such, this is huge phenomenon. And that's a lot, a lot of the time, that's what, when people are very sort of drawn to that.

• 30:09Sean Hayes?

  People stop, yeah. I mean, I, I'm also, I've also seen Saving Mr. Banks like 20 times and I've seen Sense, Sensibility and Remains of the Day.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  No, no, I wasn't getting at you.

• 30:20Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  It's just that.

• 30:21Sean Hayes?

  Just make sure.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  You know what it's like, guys, when you, when you decide to play someone, you just have to fling yourself into it, don't you? You go first and hope that your instincts are right.

• 30:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 30:33Will Arnett?

  Well, there's always that thing, we, because we talk about that idea, you know, I always say it's like. When you, when you first arrive and you're doing something, you've made a sort of a choice and you wanna make sure that you're not at a different volume than everybody else. Especially if you come in in the middle.

• 30:46Sean Hayes?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 30:47Will Arnett?

  You know, you know what I mean? And you're like.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

• 30:50Will Arnett?

  Is this, you know?

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Am I in a different movie?

• 30:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah, am I in a, am I in a different movie? I came in, I did something this winter and I sort of came in, they'd been working for a while and I thought like, oh boy, and I had a, I had a real look going and I thought.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  What was the look, Will, what was the look?

• 31:06Will Arnett?

  He was a sort of, he's sort of like a retired rocker and he, and he's sort of down on his luck. And, uh, and Pedro Pascal comes in and he's my brother and, and I just like, and I sort of worked on it with, with the director, with Tony Gilroy, and I thought, okay, this is it. But at the same time, I thought like, you know, that first moment, like, here we go, guys. And we're rolling, I'm like, boy, this better work.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:28Sean Hayes?

  It's so scary.

• 31:29Jason Bateman?

  But at least Tony had, had, had seen it.

• 31:31Will Arnett?

  Yes, he had. We had talked about it, but still you hadn't, we hadn't done it. You know, do you know what I mean?

• 31:36Speaker 02

  So you don't get to rehearse like us. We, it, it's quite rare, isn't it, in film that you get to rehearse?

• 31:41Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Whereas in theatre.

• 31:43Sean Hayes?

  All you do.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  It's all about rehearsal.

• 31:45Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  All about rehearsal.

• 31:47Sean Hayes?

  I love it.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  So it's a shame, sometimes I think it's a shame we don't get in, we don't get enough rehearsal in film. But, you know, again, it's a very mysterious business filming.

• 31:55Will Arnett?

  It is.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  You never know what's gonna come out and the camera's so odd, don't you think? Bit of a sort of witchy presence, I find.

• 32:04Will Arnett?

  Well, you also have that thing when you say, you know, when you finish something and you go, and people say, how was it? And you're like, I don't know. Yeah, you know, that, that's sort of in that period of sort of waiting. And JB, obviously, when you're in post and you're putting a film together, you're living with it, it's breathing with you all the time. And so like you have a sense of it, but everybody else kind of goes away.

• 32:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, there really is always, Emma, you've, you've done some directing, you, you, you'd, yes, no?

• 32:30Speaker 02

  No, I've never directed.

• 32:32Will Arnett?

  Have you not?

• 32:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 32:33Jason Bateman?

  I, I, why did I feel like you had a couple of times, but there is just that.

• 32:37Will Arnett?

  Why haven't you, let's, let's press her.

• 32:39Jason Bateman?

  Can you, Emma, can you check that you haven't?

• 32:42Will Arnett?

  We'll wait, we'll wait.

• 32:44Speaker 02

  I've interfered a massive amount. That's not directing though. Uh, that's just taking part in a slightly upsetting way. Um, I, especially with, I suppose with the films with children in, I've spent a lot of time with the children because that's important and. The films I've made for young people, I always consider children to be the sacred audience. They're the people we need to make the best of our work for.

• 33:14Jason Bateman?

  And they don't lie.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  It's the first time that they see something, it needs to be so, so good.

• 33:20Will Arnett?

  You've done so many things over so many genres. When you're speaking of like the children's films and stuff, and so many things, and I was just, I was just, I watched within the last year, a film that you did a few years ago, oh god, probably 10 years ago, but it's based on one of my favorite books of all time, which is Alone in Berlin.

• 33:41Speaker 02

  Oh my god, you saw that? You're like one of three people.

• 33:44Will Arnett?

  Of course, I love, that book was incredible to me.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Oh, I love that book, it's one of, it's just such an amazing book.

• 33:50Will Arnett?

  It's one of the best second halves of a book I've ever read, it's just mesmerizing. And so then, and then I realized I made a film, and so I just, I didn't know that you had made that film, and I watched it, it was beautiful, it was lovely, it's such a great story.

• 34:03Jason Bateman?

  Is it a World War II story?

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:06Will Arnett?

  It is, it's almost a piece of like resistance art in a way, the book is, and the film. And how do you, because you do these things across so many different genres, like how do you decide to do, like a film like Alone in Berlin, let's say, but just for instance, is it always just material based, or where you're, how you're feeling, like at a certain time in your life, and you're like, I want to do something that's kind of moodier, or how do you go about that process?

• 34:32Speaker 02

  I think you're right, I think it's a little bit like meeting the right person at the right time, or reading the right book at the right time. Things come to you at moments when perhaps you need them. I think as artists, sometimes we need to play certain things, it's just coming at us. I mean, I think it's all sort of out there, moving around us all the time, and then things pass us by, and we think, oh, I wish I could have, oh, well, actually, no, that was wrong. And then someone comes, something comes in and hits us right in the center of us, and you go, I really want to tell that story now. And sometimes you, you don't know why, but I always know if there's some, if it's something

• 35:17Speaker 02

  I want to do, I always know, and it's not even, it's not something I could.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Quantify, quantify in any useful way.

• 35:26Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  It's literally something will come across my path and I go, oh, oh, that's a wonderful story. I mean, Alone in Berlin is, I mean, I'm kind of slightly obsessed with both wars, actually, because I think they left traumas in our country, in the UK, that have never really been healed or addressed. And, and so Alone in Berlin, for me, is just this beautiful, I mean, the book is incredible. If you haven't read it, do. It's Hafner, isn't it? It's his, it's his pseudonym, isn't it, Will? Sebastian Hafner.

• 36:07Will Arnett?

  Hans Fallada?

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Hans, Hans Fallada, yeah. And his actual name is perhaps the other one.

• 36:13Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I, I, I get that, that when I.

• 36:15Jason Bateman?

  Sean, you can go get a snack.

• 36:16Will Arnett?

  Three Stooges, right, Sean, when that came?

• 36:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:19Jason Bateman?

  Alma, have you ever ta, have you ever taken apart a character, said yes to it, because that character has sort of a personality trait that you are thinking seriously about expanding in your own life? And this might be a fun way to kind of play a little bit with that and try it on and maybe incorporate some of it at the end if it goes well? Kind of because, because I've done that a couple of times.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  That's really interesting.

• 36:46Will Arnett?

  Really? Like, you're like, I want to be like, I'm gonna play this smarty pants because.

• 36:50Jason Bateman?

  I'd like to be a little bit more like, like, like, like how I'm kind of reading this character in this, in the script. And this would be a kind of an easy little cheat to try it on.

• 37:00Will Arnett?

  Is that DTF? Is that DTF?

• 37:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. But, but like, yeah, sometimes it's for the, for the director, the story, or the other cast, or whatever. But then sometimes it's, it's, it's, oh, I kind of always wanted to be kind of like that. And maybe I'll try a little bit here. Have you ever done that?

• 37:16Speaker 02

  I think I did that with Down Cemetery Road. I did a telly recently. It's a series called Down Cemetery Road, which is a quote from a Philip Larkin poem. And it's a Mick Herren book. It's the Slow Horses group. And I think I, I mean, not only do I love the author, but the character.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  She's sort of my age, probably grew up in London during the slightly seamy sixties. I mean, as a child in the sixties, you know, I think about my childhood in London. How really close to the end of the war that was. I mean, I was born in nineteen fifty nine, so it's fourteen years after the end of the Second World War. It's nothing, really. It's like a blink of an eye and therefore.

• 38:04Jason Bateman?

  Still rebuilding.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, God, yes, absolutely. And still, to a certain extent, a little bit of, um. You know, not having quite enough to eat and it was, I think, quite dark, probably. Which is, you know, one of the reasons why Lonely Berlin was interesting for me as well. But I think that this character, Zoe, is not a good girl. I was brought up to be very good, very obedient, very, not in a bad way. But in a way that I think that many, many girls in my culture are brought up to be.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Always lovely and kind and loving and emollient and accepting and tolerant. And I think that whilst there is a place for that in both sexes. It is not appropriate for it to be just women who do that. And nor is it sometimes appropriate for them to do it at all. So, you know. Actually, this woman doesn't do it in any way. She just. She's a very, um, releasing sort of character because she's unapologetic. And certainly not polite.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  And whilst she has kindness, certainly an empathy inside her. She uses it very judiciously and not, as it were, just as a kind of scattergun technique to avoid conflict. Or being judged for not being, you know, a nice woman.

• 39:45Jason Bateman?

  Sure.

• 39:46Will Arnett?

  Does she, does she weaponize it?

• 39:49Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 39:51Will Arnett?

  Like uses it, like it's calculated the way it's used or no?

• 39:56Speaker 02

  No, it's quite natural. It's quite natural. It's not really a, it's just an instinct. She's just managed.

• 40:02Will Arnett?

  Like I always feel when Sean's being kind to me is just manipulating me, you know what I mean?

• 40:05Speaker 02

  Well, that's true, I think. Yeah. I mean, I think you're right about that, clearly.

• 40:12Will Arnett?

  Wait, Emma, you grew up, I was just thinking, so both your, as you talk about this, and both your parents have, correct me if I'm wrong, were actors, is that right?

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:22Will Arnett?

  Yeah, so you grew up, like, this is a sort of a, you grew up in the family biz in a way, is that right?

• 40:29Speaker 02

  Yes, I did, but it was the family business of theatre.

• 40:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  So my parents grew up at a time when there really was no television. So they expected, naturally, as actors. My father was working class from a southern town in Guilford, had not very much education, was very self-taught, decided to become an actor and leave that patch. I mean, he was a proper lever of everything that he came from. You know, his mother, my grandmother, was a servant. She went into service when she was 16 years old. And indeed, one of her children was born out of wedlock because she was raped by one of her employers.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  So her journey as a mother with these four children was really quite dramatic. And dad got out and went into the theatre and met my mother, who's from Scotland, very different culture and background, Presbyterian, Scottish Presbyterian, so very,

• 41:37Speaker 02

  well, puritanical, actually.

• 41:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  One can't really avoid that, even though she's never been.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  Able to resist good wine.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Which is excellent. But you know, there was, I did grow up in this very interesting sort of combination. But they did theatre and they expected to do Shakespeare in the provinces. And just, and then radio. And then television arrived. We didn't have a television until I was, I don't know, eight and it was black and white. You know, we didn't do that, we didn't have that. And now, it's so different.

• 42:17Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  It's, it's, it's kind of indescribably strange, actually.

• 42:24Jason Bateman?

  You mean the amount of, of content that's out there to distract you by?

• 42:28Will Arnett?

  The, the breadth of it all, sort of, in a way.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, and the amount that must be produced.

• 42:33Jason Bateman?

  Right. What was your policy with your kids? Did you, were you, were you someone that was, um, screens are okay, television's okay, iPads are okay? Or, or were you like, no, it's, it's reading, or it's piano lessons, or it's, because I, I grew up in one of those households. Very, very disciplined, although there was plenty of TV too. It was kind of a combo.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Well, it was a good combo, I think. We told my daughter the television was broken, which she believed for at least eight years.

• 43:04Jason Bateman?

  Still broken.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  It's still broken. And then she danced in at the age of about nine and said, I've mended it.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  She just found the sodding remote. Anyway, um, and we didn't allow her to have a phone until she was at secondary school at the age of 13.

• 43:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, smart.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  So iPads, oh god, sometimes when we were driving, we live in Scotland as well. We were driving to Scotland and iPad was a wonderful thing.

• 43:34Jason Bateman?

  You need to put a film on.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  And then they could watch a film, which actually, I don't feel guilty about. If it's a good film, it's a lovely way to spend two hours. Because I used to be stuck in the car for eight hours as we were driving to Scotland with nothing to do but stare at the lampposts going by. And do terrible sort of.

• 43:51Will Arnett?

  But it's good for the imagination, though. It's really good. Think about all those hours.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  And boredom's good for the imagination as well, Will.

• 43:57Will Arnett?

  I know, why am friends with Sean?

• 43:58Speaker 02

  We've lost our relationship with being bored.

• 44:01Jason Bateman?

  Managing boredom is a talent everybody needs.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Okay, here's my question to all of you. When was the last time you were actually bored?

• 44:08Jason Bateman?

  This weekend.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  Really? Why? How?

• 44:12Jason Bateman?

  Well, just because I was inside the whole time. It was raining and I ran out of good TV. I had done all my homework and I... But then, guess what happens? You get truly relaxed. I really feel like true relaxation lives somewhere next door to boredom. And that's when naps happen. And clarity of mind and all your priorities get in the right order. And you can think about what's... Like, it's a great... Managing boredom, embracing boredom, seeing the virtues of boredom is something that I just don't think... That my kids, their generation, is... Understands or is friends with. They can't even ride an elevator without looking at their phone.

• 44:55Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 44:55Jason Bateman?

  Or sit at a red light.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  Constant stimulation.

• 44:58Will Arnett?

  I've actually said to my... Both of my sons at various points. You cannot walk down the stairs looking at your phone. That has to be something that is independent of your phone. This is absurd. But I will say, you know what? I was talking about this with a friend recently. I'm never bored. Like, even if I'm just sitting there, I don't know why. I never feel bored.

• 45:21Jason Bateman?

  Right. I don't mean it as a pejorative. I just feel like it. It's like there's... You're not... We're all so... I think most people in the world today are highly functioning. Like, we're just like trained to manage 50 different things at the same time. Just because it's just sort of global productivity. But there is a great...

• 45:42Will Arnett?

  God, you're always talking about productivity. It's unbelievable.

• 45:45Jason Bateman?

  Productivity is so...

• 45:46Will Arnett?

  You never shy away from productivity. Sean, I was just thinking, Sean, I wonder... When you hear Emma talk about growing up in the theater and her parents... Hi, Sean, by the way, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. I'm such big fans. Do you wish, in a way... When you hear about people who grew up in the theater and stuff, do you feel... Knowing you're, you know, how much you enjoy that. Do you ever feel like, oh, I wish I'd grown up in that kind of environment?

• 46:09Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, all the time.

• 46:10Will Arnett?

  Do you?

• 46:11Sean Hayes?

  Well, even Jason, like, growing up. Growing up around Hollywood and in it, or Emma, growing up in it, you know, like. When did it start for you, Sean? It was high school, right? Yeah, yeah, high school, junior high. I was, I worked backstage, I worked the light, not the lights. It was just one light.

• 46:27Will Arnett?

  One switch.

• 46:28Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was one switch, seriously, it was on and off. And it was.

• 46:31Will Arnett?

  We got our guy. We got our guy.

• 46:34Sean Hayes?

  I was like, I think I can do that. And it was Calamity Jane, the musical Calamity Jane. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, that was junior high and then high school. And then I was nervous about telling my family I was in theater because it wasn't associated with sports. And I thought, what were they gonna think? And so my oldest brother was like, hey dude, it's okay, bro. Like, I play football, I have makeup on underneath my eyes, the black marks underneath my eyes, just like, you wear makeup. And I was like, oh, that's really sweet. And then, and then other things happened, but.

• 47:04Will Arnett?

  Well, let's not get into that.

• 47:08Sean Hayes?

  But, yeah, I always, you know, I always love it. I don't know that I love to do it anymore. I mean, the grind of theater is something, right, Emma? That you just have to, the repetition on your body and your brain is something you kind of have no choice but to outgrow because of the endurance.

• 47:26Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 47:29Sean Hayes?

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• 48:14Sean Hayes?

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• 48:30Will Arnett?

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• 49:15Will Arnett?

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• 49:36Sean Hayes?

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• 50:20Sean Hayes?

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• 50:41Sean Hayes?

  And back to the show.

• 50:44Will Arnett?

  What was the last theater production you were part of, Emma? Because you've done so many.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Well, I haven't actually. I've mostly done film. But the last thing I did was something I, again, you know, we were talking earlier about things that you just can't say no to. They asked me to do Sweeney Todd.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Steve Sondheim's Sweeney Todd with Bryn Turfel. And I did it, we did it with the New York Philharmonic at the Lincoln Center. We did five performances there and then we did two weeks at the Dominion here.

• 51:15Sean Hayes?

  When was it?

• 51:17Will Arnett?

  How cool.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  It was 10 years ago, maybe?

• 51:19Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wow.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, and, and.

• 51:21Sean Hayes?

  You'd be great, and I'm sure you were phenomenal. It's a perfect part for you.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  You mean the psychotic, like, woman who kills people and puts them into pies?

• 51:33Will Arnett?

  Sean, Sean, Sean. You gotta let Sean finish, Emma.

• 51:36Sean Hayes?

  No, the comedy of it, I'm sure you nailed it.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  No, I'm sure I was, did way too, went way too far. But anyway, the point was, we were onstage with the New York Philharmonic. And one of the things that really I loved about it was the sort of cross pollination of different art forms, that you had a whole orchestra onstage that you could act with. So, you know, you were acting while the timpanist was behind you, making these amazing noises. And they loved it as well. The orchestra adored it because you were in amongst them. And I think that we silo music, classical music in particular, and acting in the theater, you know, which sometimes can just make people feel a little bit superior, which is not the case, it's just acting in the theater.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  And then there's television acting, which is television acting, you've got to be really clever with the chemistry. You're a good actor, you're a good actor, you're a good actor, whatever you're doing.

• 52:32Will Arnett?

  I love that.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  I can't bear all that, all that snobbery, which was very much alive when my parents. Um, were coming up. So, yeah, I, I, that was the last thing I did and I, oh, it, I mean, it was an amazing feeling, like, I don't know whether you guys have ever had this, but when you do something that uses every single cell of you, nothing is left behind. You know how you can come on particularly to do a job that's a short job and you're doing a small part or a cameo role and you're using a tiny little bit of your palette and you have to be careful not to overdo it. That's very much to your point, Sean, about Professor Trelawney. It had to be a very specific, small thing and it had to be right, but it had to be big as

• 53:16Speaker 02

  well. But this had to be right, it had to be enormous and it used absolutely everything I had. And I had such a wonderful time doing it, but my god, it was, it took me nine months to learn it. And then I did it for like thirty performances.

• 53:34Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, here Sondheim is, is, is almost as difficult as Shakespeare, right?

• 53:38Sean Hayes?

  Sometimes.

• 53:39Jason Bateman?

  I mean, you've got the music part of it as well.

• 53:41Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, finding those notes and those chords is really hard.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  I would say harder, yeah, harder than Shakespeare. Shakespeare makes it easy for us. He's like a wonderful old sailing boat you can get into and just sail into the sunset. Cause he's so reliable.

• 53:54Will Arnett?

  Well, speaking of writing, you, I, I mentioned that you, that you're the only, you're the only performer to have won for, for acting and, and writing and you wrote Sense and Sensibility and how did that happen?

• 54:04Sean Hayes?

  I did not know that.

• 54:04Will Arnett?

  Cause I, I didn't know that either. And so it's delightful to know.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  I doubted it. Joan Austen wrote it.

• 54:09Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  I've laterized mercilessly.

• 54:12Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Oh, it's not original. No, no. How, but how did that happen with, with, with the great Ang Lee, right? Directed.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  With the great Ang Lee. Actually, it happened kind of interestingly because, um, like I used to do comedy, that was my thing. That is what I wanted to do. And I was very lucky because I worked with a wonderful comedy producer. He produced the first all-black comedy series in the UK, Desmond's. And then, and he, he worked with an awful lot of black and Asian and, and female comedians. He was.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  I suppose quite revolutionary in that sense, and I made a comedy series with him. And one of the sketches I wrote was about a young woman coming back from her honeymoon to see her mother with a bit with something on her mind. And she starts to talk to her mother about a small, little woodland hairy creature that lives in her husband's lap, that he's drawn attention to on several occasions and that appears to be attached and also changes shape sometimes so that she just doesn't want to touch or have anything to do with. And so the sketch is about sexual ignorance. So it's a feminist sketch about the fact that women weren't allowed to know about sex,

• 55:31Speaker 02

  but then they were just sent off into the wild. They were married off without any kind of help whatsoever. And can you imagine coming across a penis for the first time and then seeing it become erect in front of your very eyes and not know what it was?

• 55:47Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  That's what we put people through. Anyway, so the sketch was about that. And I think it was quite funny. And our producer, Lindsay Duran, the extraordinary Hollywood producer who actually started her work with Spinal Tap, excuse me, literally one of my favorite films ever.

• 56:07Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  So she wrote to me and said, I've seen your sketch about the Victorian penis. I wonder if you would fancy adapting a Jane Austen novel. I thought, interesting. Interesting segue.

• 56:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  Wow. I said, well, I'll give it a go. So I gave it a go.

• 56:29Will Arnett?

  You sure gave it a go.

• 56:30Sean Hayes?

  Amazing.

• 56:31Jason Bateman?

  Now, what about what about other other screenplays afterwards? Forgive My Ignorance, is that something?

• 56:36Speaker 02

  No, not at all. I wrote, I've written.

• 56:38Will Arnett?

  We've been forgiving your ignorance for a minute.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Written loads that haven't been made, actually. So, but I wrote, I've written a couple of kids films, one called Nanny McPhee, who's a strange.

• 56:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, sure. That was huge.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  Sort of waty, witchy woman. And actually, we've spent 10 years writing the musical of that, which is coming into the West End next year.

• 56:58Jason Bateman?

  No way. Wow. Who wrote the music for that?

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Gary Clark, who wrote the music for Sing Street, which was a lovely, sort of beautiful Irish film. So he's, he's one of those people who just can write songs. He spent years and years in Nashville and you just think about the music industry. It's just amazingly full of these people who, he was in a band and it was kind of going, but he didn't like the fame. He didn't like the glare, so he retreated and started to write songs. And he's written songs with, I mean, so many of the greats. He's just a wonderful songwriter. And we have written about a billion songs, cut a billion songs. We've been writing it for so long. I gave him, I gave him a couple of touchstones.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  I said, think, think Tom Waits Swordfish Trombone. And also, do you know a guy, a gang called The Tiger Lilies? They're quite.

• 57:57Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was the kind of thing, I was like a Victorian steampunk, slightly dark, you know, little bit on the circus side, but not, you know, like dark.

• 58:08Jason Bateman?

  That sounds great.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  So that's what we've been doing.

• 58:11Sean Hayes?

  That's really cool. Yeah, I can't wait for that.

• 58:14Will Arnett?

  We, I would be remiss if we didn't mention your new, uh, uh, project, The Sheep Detective.

• 58:21Sean Hayes?

  The Sheep Detective, what is that about?

• 58:23Jason Bateman?

  No, that's, Craig Mason wrote that, Craig, the great Craig Mason.

• 58:26Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:27Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 58:28Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 58:28Jason Bateman?

  I love Craig.

• 58:28Will Arnett?

  JB, your old buddy.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  He wrote a novel. He's such a wonderful, wonderful man. And then he, he wrote, he adapted a book where, yeah, um, it's about a shepherd who gets murdered and his sheep solve the crime. I mean, that's it, that's the log line. You just go, yes, I'll be in it. I'll play a sheep. I'll play anything. I'll play a broom. I'll play anything. It's such a good premise.

• 58:53Jason Bateman?

  And this is, uh, starring Hugh Jackman, yes?

• 58:55Will Arnett?

  Sounds like a great yarn. Guys, sorry, sorry, sorry.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Nice, nice.

• 58:59Will Arnett?

  No, it's not.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Good, I noticed that.

• 59:01Will Arnett?

  No.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 59:02Jason Bateman?

  Uh, I hear this is, I hear this is a really, really good film that parents would like as well. Cause it is made for the kids, right?

• 59:10Will Arnett?

  It's you and, and the delightful Hugh Jackman, is that right? Am I right about that?

• 59:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:15Jason Bateman?

  Did you have to work with, you have to have to work with some, uh, um, uh, photorealistic, uh, uh, animals? Or some, or is it, uh?

• 59:22Speaker 02

  Photorealistic actors.

• 59:24Jason Bateman?

  Uh, of photorealistic actors.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  I, I, no, we, actually, I was only on it for about three weeks. I'd just done a thriller in Finland. And, um, so I was, and then I was going on to the telly. So I sort of kind of dropped in for three weeks with this lovely bunch of folk and that. It was gorgeous.

• 59:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it sounds like a gorgeous type of location, right? Where, where, where'd you shoot that?

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Oh God, now you're asking me. I mean, it was in England.

• 59:51Jason Bateman?

  It was in England, okay.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  And actually, we shot the second Nanny McPhee in the same village. Cause it's this kind of picture perfect.

• 59:57Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  Village, um, and I can't remember what it's called.

• 1:00:01Jason Bateman?

  Well, most importantly.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  I think it's called Hamilton, actually. I think I've actually remembered that, which is a fucking miracle.

• 1:00:08Jason Bateman?

  Was it?

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  Given that I'm literally a hundred and seventy-five degrees here.

• 1:00:13Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, now.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  My brain's boiling.

• 1:00:15Jason Bateman?

  Was it close enough to your house where you could sleep in your own bed? Or did you have to stay, uh?

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  No, so not, so, so not, no.

• 1:00:21Jason Bateman?

  Okay, so you had to live on location? Never.

• 1:00:24Will Arnett?

  You know what I love about, about, uh, England, staying in an English hotel, especially a small English hotel, is an English breakfast. I adore an English breakfast.

• 1:00:32Jason Bateman?

  Who doesn't? Which is what, well, there's different kinds. So Will, what do you get? You, you like the little sausages?

• 1:00:36Will Arnett?

  I don't, I, yeah, I, I shy away from the black puddings, uh, uh, but, uh, I like eggs and sausage.

• 1:00:42Sean Hayes?

  I've never had black pudding.

• 1:00:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what's in a black pudding?

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  Haven't you, Sean?

• 1:00:45Jason Bateman?

  Molasses?

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  It's pig's blood.

• 1:00:47Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 1:00:47Sean Hayes?

  No, it's not.

• 1:00:48Will Arnett?

  It's congealed.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  It is, it's pig's blood, mixed up with various sort of spices and grains.

• 1:00:54Sean Hayes?

  Oh my God.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  It's like haggis.

• 1:00:56Will Arnett?

  Look at Jason's face.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  Cause I'm half Scottish and haggis is a sheep's stomach. And the sheep's stomach is filled with, with all the sort of, um, offal, which is all chopped up with various bits of... Did somebody just make a sheep noise? Oh my God. Um, and...

• 1:01:14Jason Bateman?

  Well, why do we have these kinds of foods over there? Is it because?

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  Because we were poor.

• 1:01:21Jason Bateman?

  Well, the country's so old that you had to figure out how to make stuff you could eat out of what was available, right? This is before.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  But also, you didn't waste anything.

• 1:01:32Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  So if you killed a cow, you ate its fucking stomach as well.

• 1:01:36Jason Bateman?

  And its tongue.

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  The only thing you didn't eat was its hair.

• 1:01:40Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 02

  You know, and its horns. You had to work out how, if you had an animal and you killed it, because you don't forget, it's really quite recent that the countries, I suppose Scotland in particular, was poor, very poor.

• 1:01:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  Until recently, and many areas are still poor.

• 1:01:56Sean Hayes?

  Now, do you, the longest I've ever spent in England is just recently, last year, for like three or four months.

• 1:02:03Will Arnett?

  What were you doing over there, Sean?

• 1:02:05Sean Hayes?

  Do you get, Emma, do you get, are you as entranced still by the charm of the country and everything around it and the history? Or are you just kind of like, it is what it is, and yep, there's Big Ben, there's the thing, I'm so used to it that it's hard to appreciate it anymore? Or do you still feel like, wow?

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I'm much more entranced than I was when I was young.

• 1:02:26Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  I mean, I just adore it. I'm a Londoner, but I'm also a Scot, because my mother's Scottish. So for me, the most beautiful countryside is in Scotland. And Scotland is wild and it's very, you know, it's unheld, it's unbound, and it's full of the most extraordinary energies. And London is also, you know, a very precious place because everyone, this great, teeming bowl of people living in this massive city.

• 1:02:59Will Arnett?

  I love it.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Generally speaking, quite peacefully.

• 1:03:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I love it.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  I'm very, I love, love my city. I'm not as familiar with England, actually, the countryside, but the countryside in England can be quite breathtaking.

• 1:03:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  You go up to Yorkshire in the north, or Northumberland, or, you know, we were shooting all over those. We shot in Cornwall last year, and I'd never really spent any time in Cornwall. And I just wanted to go and live there. It was so exquisite and full of, I'm still full of character and community, actually.

• 1:03:36Will Arnett?

  You know what, might I suggest a non-scripted show, Emma, where you go around and rediscover England?

• 1:03:43Sean Hayes?

  There you go.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:44Will Arnett?

  We're gonna produce it. Listen, we're gonna pitch it to you. We're gonna get in touch with your people.

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  You all have to come with me.

• 1:03:49Will Arnett?

  Yes, I'm a devoted Anglophile, these guys knows.

• 1:03:52Sean Hayes?

  And the sheep go with you and comment on each show.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  And then at the end of the show, we eat them?

• 1:04:00Sean Hayes?

  Yes, of course.

• 1:04:01Will Arnett?

  Every piece, every piece of Jason, Jason takes the stomach.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, you all have to take one particular really unpleasant part, like the pancreas, and then you invent a really good little recipe just for that part.

• 1:04:16Sean Hayes?

  I'll take the coat.

• 1:04:16Will Arnett?

  By the way, by the way, I'm gonna put this out there, I'm gonna put this out there, there is somebody listening right now, maybe over in the UK, who's gonna say, like, this is a great idea. And you are gonna get an incoming call.

• 1:04:29Sean Hayes?

  It is a good idea, actually.

• 1:04:31Will Arnett?

  Right? I would watch the hell out of that. Emma going through England and discovering villages and different.

• 1:04:37Sean Hayes?

  Like Stanley Tucci in Italy.

• 1:04:39Will Arnett?

  I can't wait, I can't wait. I'm an EP on it already.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  I'll just go around saying endlessly, you want some game? That was my favorite phrase. You want some game?

• 1:04:48Will Arnett?

  You want more of me?

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  That was Jason. As he was saying, you want some game? It just sounded so, ooh, yes, I think I do want some game.

• 1:04:56Sean Hayes?

  That's hot podcast talk.

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  What are you going to suggest next?

• 1:05:00Will Arnett?

  Emma, we have taken up too much of your time. It's been, it's probably been an hour. What an absolute delight to have you here.

• 1:05:07Sean Hayes?

  It was real fast. Yeah, that was fast. I hope you get to cool off and jump in a pool.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  It was fast. We could have gone on forever. No, I'm literally gonna go and I put the blooming scutcher thing on in the garden. I'm gonna go and stand in it now.

• 1:05:19Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:19Sean Hayes?

  I don't think we got to any questions even. On the next, next time you come on the show, we're actually gonna ask you some questions.

• 1:05:24Will Arnett?

  On the next Smartless. Yeah.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  That was so lovely, guys. Thank you so much.

• 1:05:29Will Arnett?

  Thank you.

• 1:05:29Sean Hayes?

  Thanks for being here. Huge fans.

• 1:05:31Will Arnett?

  So much for your time and for everything that you do, and we're just such fans, it's just.

• 1:05:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, we are.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  Well, right back at you, every single one of you, I love you deeply.

• 1:05:40Sean Hayes?

  Likewise.

• 1:05:40Will Arnett?

  Likewise.

• 1:05:41Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, my dear. Make sure you pick your kids up off the floor and.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely. No, they've gone. They've long gone. They're lying face down on the wet lawn.

• 1:05:52Sean Hayes?

  All righty.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  Fare thee well.

• 1:05:54Jason Bateman?

  Thanks, Emma.

• 1:05:54Will Arnett?

  Bye.

• 1:05:58Will Arnett?

  Guys.

• 1:05:59Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:59Will Arnett?

  Emma Thompson.

• 1:06:01Sean Hayes?

  Have you seen Remains of the Day?

• 1:06:03Will Arnett?

  Yes.

• 1:06:04Jason Bateman?

  Yes.

• 1:06:04Sean Hayes?

  I mean, I've seen that so many times.

• 1:06:06Jason Bateman?

  How many films, how many films you think she's done? I bet she's done like sixty-five movies.

• 1:06:11Sean Hayes?

  Well, what's better than that, how many great films has she done?

• 1:06:13Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 1:06:13Sean Hayes?

  Like so many.

• 1:06:14Jason Bateman?

  Sixty-four.

• 1:06:15Will Arnett?

  So many incredible performances.

• 1:06:18Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:19Will Arnett?

  And just so, and just all, and so different in every genre.

• 1:06:23Sean Hayes?

  Effortless.

• 1:06:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:24Jason Bateman?

  And I meant it. She's, she is, there's always, there's some sort of cheeky little wink always to each one of her characters.

• 1:06:30Will Arnett?

  Oh, you find her to be a little cheeky, do you?

• 1:06:32Sean Hayes?

  She's a bit cheeky. She's a bit cheeky. No, she also, she also, like, she's also emanates kind of like, she's gonna take care of me. Like, you know, she's my mom.

• 1:06:42Jason Bateman?

  Yes.

• 1:06:42Sean Hayes?

  You know, and I like that. I want her to take care of me. I'm gonna send her my number.

• 1:06:46Will Arnett?

  I mean, think about it. Love Actually.

• 1:06:48Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:48Will Arnett?

  Forgot about that massive hit that everybody still, I, it's just, oh, God.

• 1:06:53Jason Bateman?

  I think you squandered an opportunity there, Will. You really could have gone down an incredible memory lane of parts and movies and stuff. Instead, we're fucking talking about haggis and goddamn.

• 1:07:04Will Arnett?

  Because we're just having a conversation, man.

• 1:07:05Jason Bateman?

  We're just, you're just visiting, weren't we?

• 1:07:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah, we're just having a quick little visit.

• 1:07:08Jason Bateman?

  We're not journalists.

• 1:07:09Will Arnett?

  No.

• 1:07:10Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. We'll have to have her back.

• 1:07:11Will Arnett?

  Yeah. You know, we're just, uh...

• 1:07:14Sean Hayes?

  Love Actually.

• 1:07:15Jason Bateman?

  We're just simple guys, you know? We're not very smart. In fact, we're smart less.

• 1:07:20Sean Hayes?

  Oh.

• 1:07:20Will Arnett?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:07:21Jason Bateman?

  So, so, so, so, see, so right there, I was just introducing a new sign-off. Instead of bye, we work on some sort of way to just say, yeah, I guess we're just kind of smart less. And then it's over.

• 1:07:33Sean Hayes?

  But that's the only one you can use, then. You can only say we're smartless.

• 1:07:37Jason Bateman?

  But you gotta somehow work that into the sentence.

• 1:07:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but that just could just be like...

• 1:07:41Will Arnett?

  But that, that came out of this process of us doing that. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:07:45Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:45Will Arnett?

  Like, that's a natural progression. If, in a way, it's almost, you could call it like a bye product. A bye product of the show. Bye. Smart. Less.

• 1:08:03Speaker 04

  Smart. Less.

• 1:08:08Will Arnett?

  Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbaco.

• 1:08:21Speaker 04

  Smart. Less.

• 1:08:26Sean Hayes?

  Being safer on the road starts with the person behind the wheel. That's Mazda's philosophy when designing every vehicle. Their proactive safety features help keep you more aware, connected, and engaged during every drive, which means your car does more than help protect you. It helps make you a safer driver, which helps protect everyone. That's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. To learn more, visit MazdaUSA.com. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

• 1:09:07Sean Hayes?

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