Pod Insights Financial Audit $74,000 For New Boobs | Financial Audit About this episode This is BY FAR the craziest post-show we have ever done. I bring in the boyfriend, and guess what? *SHE RECORDED THE FIGHT THEY HAD* about him not paying bills!!! It is absolutely insane. If you only ever watch one post-show, this one should be it... Watch here: ➡️ https://bit.ly/chpostshow
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*Chapters*
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00:00 Intro
10:48 hes in the studio btw
22:04 problem solved! theyll figure it out
30:50 i mean if the shoe fits..
48:54 yiiikes
01:04:49 funny how that works..
01:28:42 Budget!!
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Transcript 19,108 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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0:59 Caleb Hammer? To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube.
1:03 Speaker 03 I mean, I used to be a sugar baby.
1:05 Caleb Hammer? And he would [BLEEP] you.
1:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:07 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so kind of like [BLEEP]. Okay, keep going.
1:09 Speaker 03 No.
1:10 Caleb Hammer? Bliss Aesthetics for $1,000. What the [BLEEP] are you doing?
1:13 Speaker 03 That is actually my deposit for my boob job. I want a boob job.
1:17 Caleb Hammer? Your down payment on the aesthetics thing is literally done on Klarna.
1:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
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1:45 Speaker 03 Hi, I'm Stevie. I'm 28. My pronouns are they/them. I'm from St. Louis, Missouri, and this is Financial Audit.
1:53 Caleb Hammer? None of us could have guessed from the hair.
1:56 Speaker 03 No.
1:57 Caleb Hammer? The McDonald's fries.
1:58 Speaker 03 This doesn't give it away?
1:59 Caleb Hammer? Type of hair.
1:59 Speaker 03 Yeah. Who would have guessed?
2:01 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, who?
2:02 Speaker 03 I'm obviously just like a regular, straight person sitting in front of you.
2:06 Caleb Hammer? Uh huh. Okay. Great. So what do you do for? Welcome. Welcome down to Austin.
2:12 Speaker 03 Oh, thank you.
2:12 Caleb Hammer? I'm happy to have you. Austin especially loves the they thems.
2:15 Speaker 03 Yes.
2:16 Caleb Hammer? So you're, you're extra welcome. And before anyone says anything, I can't wash my hair today. Don't judge how I look. This is a requirement. I can wash it again tomorrow and I don't own any hats. Okay. So what do you do for a living in St. Louis? Barista?
2:31 Speaker 03 No, I work in telecommunications. Thank you very much.
2:36 Caleb Hammer? Being the assistant that goes and gets coffee?
2:39 Speaker 03 No, I actually work like directly with internet and phone providers. And I build proposals for our clients to be like, hey, do you want better internet?
2:49 Caleb Hammer? Okay, everyone likes better internet. That's good. So sales?
2:52 Speaker 03 I don't do sales.
2:53 Caleb Hammer? No, you just create the packages.
2:55 Speaker 03 My role is not. I am very much like the man behind the curtain.
2:58 Caleb Hammer? Well.
2:59 Speaker 03 I pulled the, um.
3:00 Caleb Hammer? The they behind the curtain.
3:01 Speaker 03 I'm the person behind the curtain. I pull all the information and I'm like, here you go. You have fun talking to the customer, cause that is.
3:09 Caleb Hammer? Oh, wait, you actually prefer male pronouns as well?
3:11 Speaker 03 I prefer like, like, call me like dude, bro.
3:15 Caleb Hammer? Oh, oh, okay.
3:16 Speaker 03 I, I don't like like girl. No.
3:19 Caleb Hammer? Are we?
3:22 Caleb Hammer? Are we transitioning?
3:24 Speaker 03 No.
3:24 Caleb Hammer? Okay. I just wanted to make sure. Cause I'm referring male things. So I'm just like, are we trying to budget in a future penis?
3:31 Speaker 03 No, I have one of those at home. It's fine.
3:36 Caleb Hammer? Oh dildo.
3:37 Speaker 03 Well, yeah, I mean, yeah. And I, and I've got, you know, another one that's attached to a person.
3:42 Caleb Hammer? A boyfriend?
3:43 Speaker 03 I do.
3:43 Caleb Hammer? Oh, very good. Very good. Well, that, okay. Glad to hear. So what are you making in this job?
3:48 Speaker 03 So during the school year, they actually cut my pay.
3:53 Caleb Hammer? That was gonna make a lot of people on Twitter happy. They them working with kids. Here we go. Okay.
3:59 Speaker 03 I love my kids.
4:01 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you keep saying it.
4:04 Caleb Hammer? And what, so what do you make with this cut pay?
4:06 Speaker 03 Um, so they cut me down to 45.
4:09 Caleb Hammer? How many reading sessions have you done in school?
4:11 Speaker 03 Reading sessions? I don't know what you're talking about.
4:17 Caleb Hammer? What do you make?
4:18 Speaker 03 What do I make at a job? Big, big kid job?
4:21 Caleb Hammer? Please, please don't do this. Oh, yes.
4:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, forty-five a year at thirty-six hours a week.
4:28 Caleb Hammer? Forty-five? How the [__] are you?
4:31 Speaker 03 What do you mean?
4:31 Caleb Hammer? St. Louis is chief declining city in every metric whatsoever and every way whatsoever. Pretty much a horrendous place to live. It's a shell of what used to be a
4:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:39 Caleb Hammer? major player in the United States. And I don't know why anyone lives there anymore, including yourself. So actually forty-five, I'm not saying you can do well off that, but I could see. Okay, so you're staying for family?
4:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:50 Caleb Hammer? That is the one reason to stay. That's the only reason I would be in West Michigan today if I was. No, I get it. But still, lack of opportunities kind of equals that forty-five thousand dollar job. But forty-five thousand dollars also stretches more in a city where you can get a house for one dollar. So that kind of makes sense. Forty-five thousand, how you doing?
5:08 Speaker 03 Um, I mean, I also work side jobs on top of that. So clearly that does not get me where I need to be.
5:17 Caleb Hammer? Well, what are the side jobs?
5:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, I work with kids.
5:21 Caleb Hammer? Hold on.
5:21 Speaker 03 I do, I do after-school care and tutoring, Monday through Thursday.
5:26 Caleb Hammer? What do you tutor?
5:27 Speaker 03 Um, just kind of whatever. So the kids are in, the, the younger ones are in seventh grade. And then I have two high schoolers. Um, but pretty much I work with the seventh graders.
5:37 Caleb Hammer? So what can I mark down as? Okay, let's go back to your main job. What can I mark down as hits per month?
5:42 Speaker 03 Can I use my calculator?
5:44 Caleb Hammer? You don't know just your paycheck?
5:46 Speaker 03 I get a bonus, so I've three-
5:48 Caleb Hammer? Use your calculator.
5:49 Speaker 03 Okay, thank you.
5:52 Caleb Hammer? Tutor?
5:53 Speaker 03 Stop. Two thousand four hundred and forty-three a month.
5:58 Caleb Hammer? Two thousand four hundred and forty-three?
6:00 Speaker 03 Yes.
6:01 Caleb Hammer? Good.
6:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:02 Caleb Hammer? And what can we say from the other jobs?
6:04 Speaker 03 I make three ninety a week there.
6:10 Caleb Hammer? That's not bad.
6:11 Speaker 03 No.
6:11 Caleb Hammer? The heck aren't you doubling down on that, right? A week times fifty-two divided by twelve.
6:16 Speaker 03 Work with the kids while they're at school.
6:18 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, no, no, no, for sure, for sure, for sure. I get that, but even still, I mean, are you working every single day, every single hour? Well, there you go. See, that's why I said let's double down. But either way, an extra sixty, ninety a month, right? I mean, that's not half bad when we're talking percentage increase from two thousand.
6:35 Speaker 03 School year, because my boss is like, I hate the fact that you go back and work with the kids during the school year. And I'm like, are you gonna pay me that? No.
6:44 Caleb Hammer? No, I mean, I get that, but if we're talking here, all of a sudden you're up to four thousand one hundred thirty-three. Now we're actually times twelve, talking fifty thousand hours a year. Now that that's a big change, that's a big increase. So what's going on? What are we talking about?
6:58 Speaker 03 I've got a lot of debt and I just, I want to forget about that. And I don't want to forget about it, but I want to like get rid of it. I want a boob job.
7:10 Speaker 03 I like.
7:12 Caleb Hammer? I guess they don't exist. I can see that.
7:14 Speaker 03 They, I, I only wear sports bras, which is the ironic thing.
7:19 Speaker 03 I don't like regular.
7:20 Caleb Hammer? What are you trying to do?
7:22 Speaker 03 I want them lifted. I just want them to like.
7:24 Caleb Hammer? They're saggy.
7:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:26 Caleb Hammer? Why?
7:26 Speaker 03 My family has really bad boob jeans. Yeah.
7:31 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so you want, you want, what, a nip tuck? Is that what it's called?
7:34 Speaker 03 No, what? It's a breast lift.
7:37 Caleb Hammer? Breast lift?
7:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:38 Caleb Hammer? Okay, you want a breast lift, you want a perky and nice.
7:40 Speaker 03 We just like very, very small and.
7:43 Caleb Hammer? Well, even though you're like a guy.
7:45 Speaker 03 Okay, gender identity and gender expression are two different things, Caleb.
7:50 Caleb Hammer? I'm lost already.
7:51 Speaker 03 If you, if you look at me, you're gonna think, okay.
7:54 Caleb Hammer? One.
7:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly.
7:56 Caleb Hammer? Crazy woman.
7:56 Speaker 03 What?
7:57 Caleb Hammer? Woman.
7:58 Speaker 03 Gender identity, who I am, does not equal.
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8:31 Speaker 03 What I look like.
8:33 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so you prefer male pronouns.
8:37 Speaker 03 No, no, no.
8:37 Caleb Hammer? I want to make sure respectful.
8:38 Speaker 03 Gender neutral pronouns.
8:40 Caleb Hammer? Oh, but you prefer the guy things.
8:42 Speaker 03 Terms, like dude.
8:44 Caleb Hammer? Now there's pronouns and terms. Okay. Woo, it's not that I don't respect it. It is that I am.
8:49 Speaker 03 It's confusing.
8:50 Caleb Hammer? Confused.
8:51 Speaker 03 It's okay.
8:52 Caleb Hammer? Cause it's ever changing and everyone has their own definitions and then the moment you get it slightly wrong, you're a Nazi. Uh, so.
8:59 Speaker 03 I'm open to questions. I'm open to questions.
9:02 Caleb Hammer? No, I just want to make sure I'm being respectful, but also I was kind of confused why someone who I thought was kind of a guy ish.
9:09 Speaker 03 Wants a good job.
9:10 Caleb Hammer? Wants, yeah, their nipples to be perky nipples and boobies.
9:14 Speaker 03 Cause I like them. I did want to have like full on top surgery because I was having like really bad gender dysmorphia and like body dysmorphia there for a while.
9:22 Caleb Hammer? There it is.
9:23 Speaker 03 And then I went like the polar opposite and I was like, you know what? I want my boobs to look real good.
9:28 Caleb Hammer? Um.
9:32 Caleb Hammer? That would have been concerning if you got a completely life altering surgery. How long did you have that thought for?
9:40 Speaker 03 A few years. It wasn't one of those things where like. Um, it was just like 2021, maybe.
9:47 Caleb Hammer? Well, everyone was a little [__] up when we were locked inside.
9:49 Speaker 03 That's what I'm saying, you know, and then like I, I, I let that pass.
9:54 Caleb Hammer? Again, I mean, I think everyone should do whatever the [__] they want to do. I don't care, but I'm also glad you didn't do that because now you literally want your boobs to be nicer.
10:02 Speaker 03 I know.
10:03 Caleb Hammer? So what does this cost? What? So this is what we're trying to budget for?
10:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:08 Caleb Hammer? Well, what does this cost?
10:09 Speaker 03 It's 9,500.
10:11 Caleb Hammer? Oh, for [__] sake. Okay. That's a lot when it comes to your job.
10:14 Speaker 03 But it's not a lot for a boob job.
10:17 Caleb Hammer? And you're clearly just doing it for yourself, right? Cause like.
10:19 Speaker 03 Oh, 100%.
10:20 Caleb Hammer? You just wear a sports bra. So you seem flat.
10:23 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:24 Caleb Hammer? Hmm. Okay.
10:25 Speaker 03 Cause I don't care what anybody else thinks to me, but like I want to feel good about it.
10:29 Caleb Hammer? Do your thing. Full. Yeah. That's [__] expensive. $10,000 for.
10:32 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:33 Caleb Hammer? To get perky tits.
10:34 Speaker 03 Yeah. I'm not going to disagree with you on that, on that, the fact that I want to get them done.
10:41 Caleb Hammer? What have you disagreed with me on? I haven't even like said an opinion.
10:44 Speaker 03 I know. Yeah. We haven't gotten there yet, but.
10:46 Caleb Hammer? Learning and talking.
10:49 Caleb Hammer? Okay, listen, I wanna know, well, first of all, I mean, what hit your account is going against everything what you're saying. It was only 3,700 versus the 41,370 that's supposed to come in.
11:03 Speaker 03 I get paid through Venmo.
11:05 Caleb Hammer? Yes, I had Venmo come in of 1,107. This isn't mathing up, cuz even your payroll was higher than you said by $200, but the Venmo in was substantially less than what you say.
11:18 Speaker 03 That is like, I don't wanna say necessarily average, but that's like mostly what I get, but obviously there's weeks where I am not with the kids.
11:28 Caleb Hammer? I don't know what's average, I don't know what's normal. Okay, but either way, so that's what came in, 3,746. What was your outflow? Outflow, total outflow, everything going out in every way?
11:38 Speaker 03 Um, I'm gonna say 4,500.
11:42 Caleb Hammer? It was basically just under 6,000. So what the [__] are we doing?
11:46 Speaker 03 I don't know.
11:47 Caleb Hammer? How do you get to the point of being able to afford a $10,000 boob job if we're spending thousands more than we make? What are we doing? Do you live with the boyfriend?
11:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:56 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so is that why your life is probably subsidized? Is that why you think you're able to just go spend more money than you make and not see the massive amount of consequences? You will, but it catches up a little slower. It catches up a little slower.
12:08 Speaker 03 I think it'll be worth it.
12:10 Caleb Hammer? What is this? Well, actually, no, that doesn't even make sense because I'm literally, Lindsay's telling me that you actually just wanna break up with him. So what the [__]? Wait, he's here. Wait, he's here. Listen, he's the only reason you're able to survive right now, but you're about to, you want to break up.
12:30 Speaker 03 It's okay.
12:31 Caleb Hammer? What the [__] are we doing? You're gonna, you're gonna be in the dirt. You're gonna be in a ditch.
12:36 Speaker 03 No, I have backup plans.
12:38 Caleb Hammer? What's your backup plans? Mommy and daddy?
12:41 Speaker 03 No, my grandma.
12:42 Caleb Hammer? Oh, for [__] sake. Dude, you're saying that at 28. What a joke. That's why you've never made any progress in your life. That's why you've never done anything. That's why you're prioritizing a boob job over literally anything else that would benefit your life, because people will be there and bail you out, so you've never had to grow up in your life.
13:01 Speaker 03 I absolutely have.
13:04 Caleb Hammer? You're dressed like a clown.
13:07 Speaker 03 I'm not, okay.
13:09 Caleb Hammer? No, with the hair and everything. So where's the grow up? I don't hear the grow up.
13:12 Speaker 03 Just because I have yellow hair, you think that I can't be a grown up?
13:16 Caleb Hammer? Yes.
13:17 Speaker 03 I work in office shop. I got the office shop with the yellow hair. Okay?
13:21 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, not making an office pay, but correct.
13:23 Speaker 03 Well, that's, it's a super small company and the owner hates me.
13:28 Caleb Hammer? Company. I pay good money.
13:30 Speaker 03 Well, yeah, that's different though. That's because like you actually care. My boss doesn't care about his employees.
13:35 Caleb Hammer? So a grown up would go get a better job.
13:38 Speaker 03 Um, have you, have you tried? Have you looked at the job market? I literally have.
13:44 Caleb Hammer? I have the analytics. It's not the best job market right now. I will say, how long have you had this job?
13:48 Speaker 03 I've worked here for over a year now.
13:50 Caleb Hammer? Okay. Well, it was a little better a year ago. Over a year.
13:53 Speaker 03 It took me six months to like get this job. What?
13:57 Caleb Hammer? Huh?
13:58 Speaker 03 It took me six months to get into this job.
14:00 Caleb Hammer? Okay. Well, she's also, Lindsay's also telling me that things are on the rocks at your current job. Like what? So break, want to break up with her boyfriend? Like the only reason that we're able to even like stay afloat. And two, things are on the rocks at the job, but I don't even know that.
14:13 Speaker 03 The job thing is not my fault.
14:14 Caleb Hammer? Says every colored haired woman.
14:16 Speaker 03 Okay. So they're apparently implementing a new AI program. That is going to be specifically affecting my department. So.
14:25 Caleb Hammer? AI is good at not canceling their employers on TikTok.
14:29 Speaker 03 I, nobody, nobody knows.
14:31 Caleb Hammer? Girl, the moment you get laid off, you're going on TikTok and talking shit about that company.
14:35 Speaker 03 No, I'm not that type of person.
14:37 Caleb Hammer? Uh huh.
14:38 Speaker 03 I, I talk about things with people that are close to me. Because it affects my life.
14:47 Caleb Hammer? So what's on the rocks? Tell me.
14:49 Speaker 03 So, okay.
14:49 Caleb Hammer? Cause that's your entire, that's like, that's uh 70% of your income source.
14:54 Speaker 03 I know. Literally a week ago, my boss called me into his office and wanted to offer me a different role.
15:02 Caleb Hammer? The evil boss.
15:03 Speaker 03 Yeah. The one that hates me.
15:05 Caleb Hammer? A different role.
15:06 Speaker 03 He wanted me to be on his team. Granted, keep in mind, two weeks before this, my supervisor was on her honeymoon. And so I was taking on like the brunt of her role, making sure everything got assigned, making sure all the work got done.
15:20 Caleb Hammer? Small business, yes, you did your job.
15:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, and that, that is no problem to me. I do not mind doing that. However, while she was on her honeymoon, he brought me into his office and like berated me, docked my bonus.
15:31 Caleb Hammer? Why?
15:32 Speaker 03 Saying that I was making too many mistakes. But I literally, there were three months in a row.
15:38 Caleb Hammer? Instead of being defensive, try to take his perspective.
15:40 Speaker 03 Absolutely. I, but I, I agree. I agree that there were mistakes made.
15:46 Caleb Hammer? Oh.
15:48 Speaker 03 Caleb, I'm a human.
15:49 Caleb Hammer? You're a human, but guess what? There's another human out there that'll take the same pay, if not less pay, and have less mistakes.
15:54 Speaker 03 Okay, um, sure.
15:56 Caleb Hammer? So you're really just, I mean.
15:57 Speaker 03 Sure, but when I ask questions.
16:00 Caleb Hammer? It's you and employer to do a job to get the pay.
16:03 Speaker 03 But when I ask questions.
16:04 Caleb Hammer? If you're not doing the job they want, they will not feel the desire to pay you. They will go find someone else that will do the pay and the job.
16:12 Speaker 03 However, why not tell me my mistakes?
16:15 Caleb Hammer? Well, it sounds like he did.
16:16 Speaker 03 No.
16:17 Caleb Hammer? Yeah?
16:17 Speaker 03 He literally told me that he wasn't going into detail about any of the mistakes. He kept it very vague the entire time I asked questions.
16:26 Caleb Hammer? I don't know if I trust your interpretation of this event.
16:29 Speaker 03 That's totally fine. That's, you know, you don't, you don't have to, but I asked him specifically like, okay, what mistakes? Like, what can I do to like, you know, do better? You know, what are your expectations? I mean, he's like, I'm not going to go into detail about the whole thing. Just know that, you know, we're, we're just noticing too many mistakes and.
16:47 Caleb Hammer? If that's true, then that's bad management on his part, for sure. Again, interpretation, I'm curious, but he said he offered you another position.
16:55 Speaker 03 Okay.
16:55 Caleb Hammer? So if things are on the rocks, it doesn't sound like it.
16:57 Speaker 03 Back to that. So last week, he wanted me on his team. After he's yelling at me about making mistakes, he's like, I want you to join my team and be his assistant.
17:09 Caleb Hammer? Assistant?
17:10 Speaker 03 Yeah. I would be working with his clients.
17:14 Speaker 03 One on one and
17:16 Caleb Hammer? Same pay?
17:16 Speaker 03 Uh huh. And I would be building proposals, doing the thing that I'm already doing.
17:21 Caleb Hammer? Well, you were talking, well, it's a small business. So a lot of people take up, uh, you know, you do multiple jobs. We do that here, this happens. Okay. That's normal. So what's the concern? You mentioned like an AI thing. What do you?
17:31 Speaker 03 Yes.
17:31 Caleb Hammer? The concern?
17:31 Speaker 03 Yes. So I, you know, he wasn't going to offer me more pay. I was going to be doing a more intensive work than what I currently do. And I love my department. My supervisor is amazing. She's so, so, so supportive of me.
17:45 Caleb Hammer? Okay, go on.
17:46 Speaker 03 So I told him, I was like, you know, thank you for the offer, but you know, I think I'm just going to stay in the department for the job that I was hired for.
17:53 Caleb Hammer? Well, that's probably not good job security. I'll be honest.
17:57 Speaker 03 He goes, well, you know, once this AI program gets implemented, we're going to have to be cutting someone from your department, probably somebody who doesn't work a full 40 hours a week.
18:04 Caleb Hammer? You work a full 40?
18:05 Speaker 03 I work 36, which is still legally full time in the state of Missouri.
18:08 Caleb Hammer? He's at 40 though.
18:09 Speaker 03 I know. He was specifically singling me out. And so I literally said to his face.
18:14 Caleb Hammer? So take the other job. Little bit of self preservation here, lady. No one's entitled to a job.
18:21 Speaker 03 I cannot. His, his assistant hates me.
18:25 Caleb Hammer? Yes, but you might be temporarily taking this while searching for another job.
18:29 Speaker 03 I can search for another job.
18:32 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but I want you to collect an income while you're searching for the other job. What are you stupid? What are you talking about? You're trying to get 10,000 hour boobs.
18:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:40 Caleb Hammer? That's not even in the conversation. If you might be laid off and you're not willing to do any kind of self preservation whatsoever. What? What are you talking about?
18:48 Speaker 03 I'll make it work.
18:51 Caleb Hammer? How does that work? Please, in detail. That sounds like a great plan.
18:55 Speaker 03 Caleb, I, I have been in so many different roles. I've done so many different things.
18:59 Caleb Hammer? Girl, you're trying to shut the fuck up. Go on.
19:01 Speaker 03 Fully capable of
19:03 Caleb Hammer? Of what?
19:04 Speaker 03 Finding something to make it work.
19:05 Caleb Hammer? Well, as we've both confessed, this is the worst job market since the great recession.
19:09 Speaker 03 Yeah. And I get that, but if I needed to take on some shitty, like two part-time jobs, doing whatever.
19:15 Caleb Hammer? Would they trust you?
19:17 Speaker 03 Would they trust me with what?
19:18 Caleb Hammer? I don't know, other than Starbucks. You're a walking red flag, no offense.
19:23 Speaker 03 Dude, I've been in management position since I was 19.
19:26 Caleb Hammer? Girl, you're making forty five thousand dollars a year, management.
19:29 Speaker 03 Yes, because. Because I changed career path.
19:32 Caleb Hammer? That's not shitting on forty five thousand dollars a year, by the way, but it's just like you're not gonna be able to jerk yourself off with that.
19:36 Speaker 03 No, I finished my degree and I changed career path. Because I was tired of working in retail.
19:43 Caleb Hammer? And also this AI thing, who even knows if that's true. AI is like, the actual analytics about job replacements aren't even a hundred percent great. It's just a shitty job market right now because tech over hired and money's expensive to borrow and it's like.
19:55 Speaker 03 Fear tactic thing.
19:57 Caleb Hammer? It, it may have been. It may have been.
20:00 Speaker 03 And that's why I was like, well.
20:01 Caleb Hammer? Which why not do any kind of self preservation? Take the other job and then apply for another job like it's your full time job.
20:08 Speaker 03 I mean, I could do that.
20:12 Caleb Hammer? So you're not breaking up with your boyfriend? Because I was told specifically beforehand that you want to break up with your boyfriend.
20:17 Speaker 03 We have had issues.
20:22 Caleb Hammer? Every relationship has issues.
20:24 Speaker 03 But it's like.
20:25 Caleb Hammer? But literally, you guys live together. It's the only reason you can afford bills. Stagnant.
20:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, the relationship is just like, it's like we live two separate lives.
20:35 Caleb Hammer? Okay, tell me.
20:36 Speaker 03 Like, I mean, I work a lot.
20:38 Caleb Hammer? I'll probably bring him in the post show.
20:40 Speaker 03 He doesn't like the fact that I work a lot.
20:42 Caleb Hammer? Okay, he needs to stop being a.
20:43 Speaker 03 When I get home at like, you know, seven thirty, eight PM, and then it's like, I need to eat, we'll watch a TV show together. And then I'm going to bed and he's like, we get no time together and everything. And I'm like.
20:56 Caleb Hammer? I get some of that on the opposite side too, but she doesn't, it doesn't turn into a toxic thing. She just understands that I work my ass off.
21:05 Speaker 03 But then it's like, you know, he wants to complain that I'm working all the time and that like, I don't have any time for him, but when I am home, like on the weekends, like.
21:15 Caleb Hammer? Well, how long has this been going on? If this is gonna be the big breakup.
21:18 Speaker 03 We've been together for almost three years.
21:19 Caleb Hammer? So what the, so are you breaking up or not?
21:21 Speaker 03 We are working on it. We almost did.
21:23 Caleb Hammer? I was told you want to break up.
21:24 Speaker 03 We almost did.
21:25 Caleb Hammer? Okay. Where would you lean right now? On a metric of breaking up, 0% is not breaking up 100% and is 100% breaking up. Where are you on the scale?
21:35 Speaker 03 I'd say 50 because I want to give, I want to give it a chance because our relationship dynamic, the idea is like our relationship dynamic needs to change.
21:45 Caleb Hammer? Well, you hit him out of the gate when you guys first started seeing each other that you wanted to be open. So you wanted to.
21:52 Speaker 03 Immediately.
21:52 Caleb Hammer? Well, that's okay.
21:53 Speaker 03 I, well, I told him that like I want a polyamorous relationship.
21:56 Caleb Hammer? Open is fun. It can be fun. Having sex is fun. But it has to 100% agreed by the other person, not agreed out of pressure, though.
22:06 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no.
22:06 Caleb Hammer? They want to also be actively want to be open.
22:09 Speaker 03 I get this.
22:10 Caleb Hammer? But he doesn't, as far as I at least know from the nose.
22:13 Speaker 03 Well, we, that's what I'm saying. We almost broke up recently.
22:16 Caleb Hammer? The only way you can keep a roof over your head right now is with this guy, but you're trying to go take.
22:21 Speaker 03 No, I want a girlfriend, Caleb.
22:26 Caleb Hammer? So you will only.
22:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:28 Caleb Hammer? Only strictly, you will never see a penis.
22:30 Speaker 03 I don't want an open relationship. I want a polyamorous relationship. I want us to have a girl. That's what I'm saying. We had a conversation about it. He said that he was willing to try it, that, you know, he would be okay with that, but he's never been in a polyamorous relationship. So I told him like,
22:47 Caleb Hammer? Have you?
22:47 Speaker 03 Go to therapy. Yeah.
22:48 Caleb Hammer? And?
22:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I loved it.
22:49 Caleb Hammer? Well, you're not, so it probably wasn't perfect.
22:52 Speaker 03 I know, I'm not now because, well, she told me.
22:54 Caleb Hammer? Sounds like it didn't work.
22:55 Speaker 03 Because she wanted to break up with him. They were together for four years before I joined into their relationship.
23:01 Caleb Hammer? Why are you trying to fuck up this thing that is literally, I know it's not perfect, no relationship is perfect. But again, I want to preface this, the only reason you're able to survive right now is because you split bills with someone else.
23:13 Caleb Hammer? Like, what are we doing? Like, you're about to fuck up in a massive time while also being on the chopping block of getting laid off, while also trying to drop $10,000 on making boobs perky while spending 2,000 more than you're making on a monthly basis. It's like none of this is stacking up.
23:28 Speaker 03 Happiness is important.
23:29 Caleb Hammer? Happiness is important, but you're literally on the edge of losing everything. And trust me, you will be a lot less happy than you are right now on that other side.
23:36 Speaker 03 I'll figure it out.
23:37 Caleb Hammer? No, that's, okay, tell me. I'll figure it out. Listen, this is, that's something I hear all the time. How about you give me some details? Because I'll figure it out itself is not a plan. So tell me the big grand plan.
23:48 Speaker 03 I have been in like every single industry. I can work any job.
23:52 Caleb Hammer? Not about what you've done. Tell me what your plan is, you.
23:54 Speaker 03 Plan.
23:55 Caleb Hammer? In this job market, the worst job market you've ever seen in your lifetime as an adult, for sure.
23:59 Speaker 03 Go back to doing full-time childcare. Easy. I have connections.
24:03 Caleb Hammer? How much were you making doing that?
24:05 Speaker 03 I make thirty dollars an hour with the kids.
24:06 Caleb Hammer? Why aren't you doing that? And stop saying the kids.
24:08 Speaker 03 Because I want an actual career. I love it. This is my passion. Like, like.
24:13 Caleb Hammer? You literally told Lindsay earlier that you couldn't work in childcare full-time.
24:17 Speaker 03 No, I.
24:21 Caleb Hammer? Let's talk about student loans. I know it's something we all avoid talking about, but if your private student loans are crushing you, Yrefi might be exactly what you need. They don't rely on your credit score alone. They look for borrowers who have the desire and the ability to repay. That is a game changer in a market where most lenders only see a number. Interest rates, under six percent guaranteed. That's practically a unicorn in student lending. Plus, they offer structured payment plans to lower your monthly bill, and even a co-center release program so your mom and dad can step off the hook. Yrefi is known for their personal service. No faceless call centers. You get a dedicated rep who actually cares about your progress.
25:06 Caleb Hammer? They've got a 4.6 star rating on Google, which tells you people genuinely like working with them. So if your private student loans are burying you, it is time to reach out. Yrefi wants to help you climb out of debt, not push you further into it. Check them out at yrefy.com/hammer. That is Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash hammer, or call triple eight nine seven three three nine seven eight. That is triple eight nine seven three three nine seven eight. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. Starbucks is bull and a waste of money, and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest.
25:47 Caleb Hammer? So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just forty cents a serving. Honestly, it literally tastes better, and we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter.
26:03 Speaker 05 The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane.
26:09 Caleb Hammer? Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it, or 10% off your order at gamersubs.gg, or click that link in the description below. Type in code CALEB. Because kids are in school.
26:23 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, I can't work with those families full-time because they have school.
26:33 Caleb Hammer? I feel like you don't know what you do. Would you have a full-time job?
26:36 Speaker 03 What do you mean? I would probably just work with another family during the day. Like.
26:43 Caleb Hammer? Okay, if you get it. Again, I feel like as things cut back in a recession, you know, it's not necessarily taking care of your kids cut back, but the more frivolous spending things. And sometimes having someone over can be considered frivolous spending. I'm not saying you wouldn't be able to find something, but your, your plan is that will 100% work? And it makes me scared.
27:07 Speaker 03 No, I'm just saying that that's an option of mine.
27:08 Caleb Hammer? Okay, that's an option. What else is in your grand plan here?
27:11 Speaker 03 Um, I could have a roommate. If things don't work out with the boyfriend, I could always get a roommate. Because like, we just had an issue not too long ago. Like, he didn't pay me for his half of the utilities by the end of the month. He thought that it was okay for him to wait until the 3rd.
27:31 Caleb Hammer? Is it?
27:31 Speaker 03 Whenever he gets paid. No!
27:33 Caleb Hammer? Okay, what's agreed upon? What's been agreed upon?
27:36 Speaker 03 Agreed upon in the entirety of our relationship was that he would pay me for his half of the bills before the end of the month.
27:42 Caleb Hammer? So why is he [__] it?
27:44 Speaker 03 It's happened so many times. And like this month, I was like.
27:47 Caleb Hammer? And that got you close to breakup?
27:49 Speaker 03 That was like, one of the big reasons. Because I'm like, we have a financial responsibility together, right? That's what you're saying. So then why am I fronting everything? And then him just being like, oh, I can just pay whenever I want.
28:02 Caleb Hammer? Well, I'm so confused. I'm getting so many just weird things. Okay. Stevie, who is you, wants an open relationship so he, as in him, can sleep with other people.
28:10 Speaker 03 So I.
28:12 Caleb Hammer? This is such a mess.
28:13 Speaker 03 I have a medical problem. I get chronic ovarian cysts. So sex is very painful for me.
28:18 Caleb Hammer? Well, stop.
28:19 Speaker 03 Oh my God, I wish I could.
28:21 Caleb Hammer? Or taken in the ass. I don't know.
28:22 Speaker 03 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you.
28:25 Caleb Hammer? We're open-minded here.
28:25 Speaker 03 I will pass.
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28:58 Speaker 03 That, you know what?
28:58 Caleb Hammer? I was joking, keep going.
29:00 Speaker 03 Um, so.
29:00 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you get this in your, that sucks.
29:02 Speaker 03 I do, it hurts.
29:04 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, that hurts.
29:04 Speaker 03 So.
29:05 Caleb Hammer? Always?
29:05 Speaker 03 I, I feel them.
29:07 Caleb Hammer? So you can't.
29:09 Speaker 03 I can, but it like, it has to be, it's like, it's like doing surgery. You know, you have to be like very methodical and like very planned out. It's got to be like a whole thing in order.
29:20 Caleb Hammer? So you want him to go fuck some people?
29:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:24 Caleb Hammer? Does he?
29:25 Speaker 03 I mean, he's, he's a man. He gets horny and sometimes I'm like, I physically cannot. So.
29:32 Caleb Hammer? So he does?
29:33 Speaker 03 I honestly don't think that he wants to go fuck other people, but I want him to be able.
29:39 Caleb Hammer? He's such a mess.
29:40 Speaker 03 Welcome to my life.
29:42 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, what are you doing about it? You're about to get laid off and you aren't accepting that job change? You're doing nothing. I'll get you a course career certification to help boost your skills. So hopefully you can get a different job.
29:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:53 Caleb Hammer? A little easier. I'll get you that for free.
29:55 Speaker 03 I want to get an MBA.
29:56 Caleb Hammer? Huh?
29:56 Speaker 03 I want to get my MBA.
29:57 Caleb Hammer? Okay. How are you paying for school and taking the income?
30:00 Speaker 03 That's what I'm saying, that's why I'm not doing it yet.
30:01 Caleb Hammer? Well, apparently you're saying a lot, but you're, you're doing nothing. You're literally putting yourself on that edge again in your relationship, in this job.
30:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:09 Caleb Hammer? So what the fuck are we doing here? Not just because grandma will take care of us. That's horrible. How old's grandma?
30:13 Speaker 03 Sixty-eight.
30:15 Caleb Hammer? I hope she's healthy.
30:16 Speaker 03 She is.
30:18 Caleb Hammer? Good, but you won't be able to rely on her forever.
30:20 Speaker 03 No, I'm not trying to rely on her. I'm just like, like she's.
30:25 Caleb Hammer? Oh, you're bringing it up now and all this shit because you found a girl on a queer local Facebook page?
30:29 Speaker 03 No, no, no, she's my best friend. She, she's talked about how like she wants to date me.
30:33 Caleb Hammer? You wanna bring her in?
30:35 Speaker 03 But no, no, no, no. Her and her partner.
30:37 Caleb Hammer? You're gonna fuck this up with this guy?
30:39 Speaker 03 No. Her and her partner are in an open relationship. That's not what I'm wanting. But I would like to date her, but that's not like that. Okay.
30:50 Caleb Hammer? Probably hot, perky tits, I guess, if that's what you're into.
30:53 Speaker 03 Well, it's, she's probably not gonna be your type, but I think she's cute. I don't know.
30:59 Caleb Hammer? Well, then how can you say?
31:00 Speaker 03 You make fun of me for having yellow hair, so I'm like, people like me probably are.
31:03 Caleb Hammer? I've, I've never seen that color before.
31:06 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, mom. Does it look good?
31:08 Caleb Hammer? Huh?
31:09 Speaker 03 Does it look good?
31:13 Speaker 03 You're thinking awfully hard about that and I don't.
31:15 Caleb Hammer? No, I've already made my conclusion. I'm just staying quiet. It's just, you know, it's, it's not, my hair doesn't look good today either. That's okay. We can, we can both be struggling together.
31:25 Speaker 03 So this was us at the MCR concert, so it's not like a gray representation of what she looks like.
31:30 Caleb Hammer? Can I see a normal picture by chance? Cause that's scary.
31:34 Speaker 03 We went, um.
31:35 Caleb Hammer? It was emo scary.
31:36 Speaker 03 Hey, we went dumpster diving and we found, um, these like two fully put together mannequins. It was super funny. Actually, let me just look at my Instagram.
31:47 Caleb Hammer? Maybe stay in St. Louis.
31:50 Caleb Hammer? We don't need to unleash you on the rest of the world.
31:52 Speaker 03 Are you sure?
31:55 Speaker 03 Okay, I.
31:57 Caleb Hammer? Which one is she?
31:58 Speaker 03 Obviously not the one with yellow hair. Or I guess I didn't have yellow hair at that time.
32:02 Caleb Hammer? Yeah. Yeah, you looked a lot more normal.
32:06 Speaker 03 I, yeah, I did go normal for a while, but I didn't feel like myself.
32:09 Caleb Hammer? This is a wood. This is a run and hide.
32:12 Speaker 03 Here, I'll show you what my hair did look like whenever.
32:15 Caleb Hammer? No, that's okay. I don't need that. Okay.
32:18 Caleb Hammer? That's you?
32:19 Speaker 03 That's me.
32:19 Caleb Hammer? And that's a run and hide as well. See, the last picture is a wood. That is a run and hide. Just saying. I'm gonna be candid.
32:26 Speaker 03 Teach their own.
32:27 Caleb Hammer? Well, you literally put on clown makeup in that photo. So yes, I'm running and hiding. Whereas in the previous picture, you were attractive. Okay.
32:35 Speaker 03 Okay.
32:36 Caleb Hammer? Before we get into these finances, again, your plan, this grand plan, I need to just hear where your mind is at. Grand plan. So you said you can get in childcare. Maybe you can, maybe you can't. It's hard to just rely on one thing. What else? Grand plan.
32:49 Speaker 03 I mean, I used to be a sugar baby.
32:52 Caleb Hammer? To who? To what? What did that look like?
32:56 Speaker 03 It was great.
32:58 Caleb Hammer? What did that look like? That's not an answer.
33:00 Speaker 03 So it, so I met him on a website and
33:03 Caleb Hammer? It was a man.
33:04 Speaker 03 Yeah. And he came to visit me. This was when I was in college. We like, we actually had like a really good relationship. Like, we had a lot in common.
33:14 Caleb Hammer? How old are you?
33:15 Speaker 03 I was twenty
33:19 Speaker 03 two.
33:19 Caleb Hammer? How old is he?
33:21 Speaker 03 He was my mom's age. So I think he was like forty.
33:25 Caleb Hammer? Okay, were you hot?
33:26 Speaker 03 Was I hot?
33:27 Caleb Hammer? Yeah.
33:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:29 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
33:30 Speaker 03 When have I not been?
33:31 Caleb Hammer? Yellow hair.
33:34 Caleb Hammer? Go on. Yes. To incorporate this back into the grand strategy, what did you make? How did it work?
33:41 Speaker 03 I mean, it like, it kind of varied. Um, so like, I got, I got paid like an allowance every time he came to visit me and he came to visit me every weekend.
33:50 Caleb Hammer? And he would [BLEEP] you.
33:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:52 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so kind of like prostitute. Okay, keep going.
33:54 Speaker 03 No. It was like a relationship that
33:57 Caleb Hammer? That you got an allowance?
33:58 Speaker 03 It was a relationship that had a financial advantage.
34:02 Caleb Hammer? Yeah.
34:03 Speaker 03 I would like to put it.
34:05 Caleb Hammer? That's how you would like to put it?
34:07 Speaker 03 We like texted all the time and like talked all the time about just like
34:10 Caleb Hammer? Advanced prostitute. Continue.
34:12 Speaker 03 Anyway, um, and he would like, take me places. We would go to like Cardinals games. We would, um, just like go travel a little bit. And, well, also
34:24 Caleb Hammer? How much were you making?
34:25 Speaker 03 Ah, I don't know. This was so long ago, Caleb. I would say probably like
34:30 Caleb Hammer? Well, if this is part of the grand plan, if we get
34:32 Speaker 03 Okay, not
34:33 Caleb Hammer? So what are we making? What were we making?
34:35 Speaker 03 It wasn't, I mean, it was probably pretty on par with what I'm making.
34:39 Caleb Hammer? That's insanity. Okay.
34:40 Speaker 03 Grand.
34:41 Caleb Hammer? And it was just one guy?
34:42 Speaker 03 Yeah. Consistently. And then I kind of had like A manic episode, um, and and so I ended things with him. And then I have, I had a few more moments, um, where like one guy I met who lived in Alaska and I like flew to Alaska and we were gonna like get married to strangers. And then I met the guy and I was like, absolutely not. But I did have a four day vacation in Alaska.
35:08 Caleb Hammer? And he paid you?
35:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:10 Caleb Hammer? And he
35:11 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, no.
35:12 Caleb Hammer? He did not
35:13 Speaker 03 Did not let him.
35:13 Caleb Hammer? He paid you and he didn't even get the
35:15 Speaker 03 No.
35:17 Caleb Hammer? That's abuse. Okay.
35:18 Speaker 03 He was just not
35:19 Caleb Hammer? So I don't want you to have to get back into prostitute plus is the advanced product.
35:25 Speaker 03 Okay.
35:25 Caleb Hammer? Uh, or prime prostitute prime. We, we don't, I don't want you to get into prostitution elite once more.
35:31 Speaker 03 No. I mean, I
35:33 Caleb Hammer? But grand plan, this is You did OF?
35:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:38 Caleb Hammer? Do you do OF?
35:39 Speaker 03 No, I quit whenever I got with boyfriend because he didn't like it.
35:44 Caleb Hammer? But you're, but you would, but you wouldn't be breaking up if you got laid off. Except you guys are on the verge of breaking off now, but he would allow you to
35:51 Speaker 03 I tried to convince him to do it with me, but he said he wouldn't do it with me.
35:53 Caleb Hammer? But he would let you do OF?
35:55 Speaker 03 Okay, first of all, nobody lets me do anything.
35:58 Caleb Hammer? Well, potentially in a relationship is usually compromises and kinda what we like the other person doing and not doing. So yes, there is a part of let.
36:07 Speaker 03 There's a part of acceptance.
36:09 Caleb Hammer? Or not.
36:10 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah.
36:12 Caleb Hammer? Okay, would he accept?
36:15 Speaker 03 I don't know. We'd have to talk about it more.
36:17 Caleb Hammer? What were you making on OF?
36:19 Speaker 03 Oh gee, that was such a fever dream. Cause I was still like unmedicated at that time. So it, it would like, it would be random because like sometimes I would make a lot because I would, I'd like actually put effort into it.
36:34 Caleb Hammer? What kind of content were you making?
36:36 Speaker 03 Huh?
36:37 Caleb Hammer? What content?
36:38 Speaker 03 So it was just solo, um, but I was super fun with it. So I would like choose a song and it's like, I would make like a music video out of it. I spent so many hours editing my videos. I actually loved doing it, but, um, yeah, I, I stopped. What do you?
36:55 Speaker 03 Are you talking about me?
36:56 Caleb Hammer? Yes.
36:58 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so jumping back into that would be brutal.
37:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:02 Caleb Hammer? I don't want you to jump into prostitute light, which is that or prostitute advanced, which is the other one.
37:06 Speaker 03 I mean, yes.
37:07 Caleb Hammer? Taking dick for money or having people fat to you for money. That's not, see, this is what I don't like. I don't like that. The alternative for a young woman is just like, if things get bad, I would just literally make money off of my body, off my tits, my saggy tits.
37:20 Speaker 03 I could.
37:23 Caleb Hammer? I know. Well, I'm asking your grand plan. You're bringing it up, dude. You have tits.
37:28 Speaker 03 Well, I have two of them. I could put them to use.
37:33 Caleb Hammer? It's not active anymore, right? You deleted the account.
37:36 Speaker 03 No, yeah, I deleted them.
37:38 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so it's even harder to get back into.
37:40 Speaker 03 I know, I know.
37:42 Caleb Hammer? But I'm also glad you deleted it. You should.
37:44 Speaker 03 Go because I was like, that was like such an era of my life because like.
37:50 Caleb Hammer? Just don't use it.
37:50 Speaker 03 I compromised so much in the beginning of our relationship and.
37:53 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, and now you're regretting it and you want to break up with him.
37:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's why I'm at the point where I'm like, okay, hold up. I, I let go so much of myself. So we need to like reel it back in. Let me be me.
38:04 Caleb Hammer? Does he like you?
38:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
38:08 Caleb Hammer? You, you that you're reeling back in?
38:12 Speaker 03 I mean, I don't, we haven't really talked, we just, Caleb, we just started our therapy journey again. We're figuring it out. My new therapist like specializes in polyamory. So like, we're gonna have a lot of homework to work on together.
38:24 Caleb Hammer? Oh, for sake, you guys are good luck. I'll give it one more quarter. Good luck. Absolutely. Good luck. Okay. Well, I don't like those backup plans to be very clear. The childcare one, maybe that's the best. I don't necessarily like that. One of the three plans is childcare and the person that's talking about childcare, the other two plans are prostitution elite and prostitute light. But I guess that's where we are in 2026. So.
38:54 Speaker 03 I can't be hot and sexy and at the same time like.
39:00 Caleb Hammer? Yes. And how do parents feel about that, though?
39:02 Speaker 03 I don't show that side of me when I am doing childcare.
39:08 Speaker 03 Okay, and then however they wanna approach it, we can go from there.
39:13 Caleb Hammer? Alright, let's jump into these finances.
39:15 Speaker 03 I'm an adult, I'm capable of having adult conversations.
39:17 Caleb Hammer? You're an adult, but you're not entitled to money.
39:19 Speaker 03 No!
39:19 Caleb Hammer? You're not entitled to a job, you're not entitled to people thinking that you-
39:24 Speaker 03 But I am capable-
39:24 Caleb Hammer? Taking for money, which by the way, I don't even know how you do that for money if it's that painful. You did! You literally did!
39:31 Speaker 03 Okay, well, I didn't have ovarian cysts at that time, that didn't happen until recently.
39:35 Caleb Hammer? You know, so, glucky glucky, glucky glucky.
39:41 Speaker 03 It works.
39:42 Caleb Hammer? It works, but I'm not advocating for that. I don't necessarily want that to be how to keep a roof over your head. I hate that, that's how, where we've come to. It really sucks.
39:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, same, but you know, you gotta do what you gotta do, Caleb.
39:55 Caleb Hammer? No, that is not it, because I literally laid out the alternative. You dumb [bleep]. And I guess I can say this correctly in this context, whore!
40:07 Caleb Hammer? You whore!
40:09 Speaker 03 Used to be.
40:10 Caleb Hammer? I've never called someone a whore.
40:11 Speaker 03 Used to be.
40:11 Caleb Hammer? But I love it, you whore!
40:14 Caleb Hammer? Alright, it's just like, I gave you the alternative. The alternative is obviously accept this job change so you don't get laid off tomorrow, and when you accept it, get skilled up, update your skills again with the certification I give you, plus going and applying for other jobs like it's a full-time job. That's what you do, so you don't get laid off and all of a sudden we don't know how to deal with money without grandmother, okay?
40:37 Caleb Hammer? That is the alternative, that's the adult response without going into prostitution.
40:41 Speaker 03 I'll think about it. I think it's too late. I don't think that if I went back to him-
40:44 Caleb Hammer? Wait, when was this offer?
40:46 Speaker 03 It was last week today that I turned it down.
40:49 Caleb Hammer? Oh, you're such a child. 28, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?
40:55 Speaker 03 It's not like I-
40:56 Caleb Hammer? You're a baby.
40:57 Speaker 03 Spent that much on gas.
40:57 Caleb Hammer? You're a [bleep] baby. Sure, so then extra wise grandma paying for it, baby?
41:04 Caleb Hammer? What is wrong with you?
41:06 Speaker 03 A lot. I mean, we could go there a few.
41:08 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, no shit. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst, 10 being the best?
41:14 Speaker 03 Okay, so I took the score.
41:17 Caleb Hammer? Proud of you, Calebhammer.com.
41:20 Speaker 03 And it was a 2.17.
41:23 Caleb Hammer? Which rounds 2 or 3?
41:24 Speaker 03 I rounds 2 or 3?
41:26 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, and like the overall score, yeah.
41:28 Speaker 03 Oh, okay. Um, I, I think I'm gonna give myself just a 2, though.
41:33 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
41:33 Speaker 03 We'll go there.
41:34 Caleb Hammer? If you want your financial score like she did, take the assessment for free at Calebhammer.com. See where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, what you need to do to improve yourself. Calebhammer.com, just takes a few minutes and it is free. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the Dollar Wise Budgeting app. Has tens of thousands of active users for a reason. People are changed their lives. You can too. With features added every single month, it is incredible. Dollarwise.app, take the free trial. And if you like it, stick around. You can sign up for the annual version, like most people do, to save a lot of money. And then, for about only a month left only, I will personally sign my budget-friendly cookbook and mail it directly to you. That is gone at the end of February.
42:12 Speaker 03 They.
42:13 Caleb Hammer? Huh?
42:14 Speaker 03 You said she. It's they.
42:17 Caleb Hammer? Whore? Okay, so.
42:20 Speaker 03 Potato, potato.
42:21 Caleb Hammer? I'm a whore. Absolutely.
42:25 Speaker 03 There's nothing wrong with it.
42:26 Caleb Hammer? We love whores.
42:27 Speaker 03 Yes.
42:28 Caleb Hammer? Big fan of whores, including.
42:30 Speaker 03 Very supportive.
42:32 Caleb Hammer? We love it. Okay, what's this first thing? What am I looking at?
42:34 Speaker 03 That is my Klarna.
42:36 Caleb Hammer? Of course it is. What the is going on with this?
42:40 Speaker 03 It's a great.
42:41 Caleb Hammer? Well, Bliss Aesthetics for $1,000.
42:44 Speaker 03 So.
42:45 Caleb Hammer? What the are you doing?
42:46 Speaker 03 That is actually my deposit for my boob job.
42:51 Caleb Hammer? So it's already happening?
42:57 Speaker 03 So technically, like if you take that portion off, it's only 8,500 because that's already been paid.
43:05 Caleb Hammer? Again, they don't seem that bad.
43:09 Speaker 03 I mean, like, I could, I could show you. Like, do you want to see them?
43:14 Caleb Hammer? I could do a tit audit. Do you consent?
43:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
43:17 Caleb Hammer? Okay, I'll, I'll look at a picture. I'll look at a picture, but not here in the studio. We don't want them out in the studio.
43:20 Speaker 03 Okay, okay, deal.
43:22 Caleb Hammer? I legit would not do it.
43:26 Caleb Hammer? Don't do it.
43:26 Speaker 03 Why? I just want them to-
43:30 Caleb Hammer? Because it's very expensive and they're very nice.
43:34 Speaker 03 I just want them to, I feel like, I don't know.
43:38 Caleb Hammer? It's a feeling thing?
43:39 Speaker 03 I want them to feel nice.
43:40 Caleb Hammer? No, but you just strictly can't afford this and that's not a medical necessity. You didn't have boob cancer, correct?
43:45 Speaker 03 No.
43:46 Caleb Hammer? Okay, like, and that's like, this is purely cosmetic.
43:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:49 Caleb Hammer? And I want you to be able to do more cosmetic things in the future if you want to. But right now, we're literally worried about keeping your job and keeping a roof over your head. And, yeah, that was a funny idea, all that and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great.
44:01 Speaker 03 I literally already paid my deposit.
44:03 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, a thousand. You have nine left. Here's the thing. Those, just saw them. And I honestly thought I was just gonna support it instinctively. But that was, they're actually very nice.
44:16 Speaker 03 Well, I appreciate that you like them, but-
44:18 Caleb Hammer? No, no, it's not even about that. It is literally math. Like, for that, this is pure cosmetic. And I know it's just for you, it's not for others, and I can respect that and support that. You do not need this right now. There's not like something wrong there.
44:30 Speaker 03 That deposit only lasts for eight months. So that means like, in the future, whenever I like, if I have to, if I have to wait to do it, I lose that deposit and then I have to pay it all over again.
44:43 Caleb Hammer? But you're spending thousands more than you make on a monthly basis. How much debt do you have? What's your debt number?
44:48 Speaker 03 Um, I think it's like eighty?
44:51 Caleb Hammer? Seventy-four thousand, four hundred and twenty-three dollars, eighty-three cents. That doesn't mean it's good, though.
44:55 Speaker 03 Okay.
44:55 Caleb Hammer? You could have said a hundred. That doesn't mean seventy-three is good. Listen, if you are going
45:01 Caleb Hammer? and dropping an extra nine that you do not have, which means there's gonna be more debt, you're rounding this up to now eighty-five. We're getting closer and closer to six figures of debt with nothing to show for it.
45:10 Speaker 03 No.
45:11 Caleb Hammer? Yes?
45:11 Speaker 03 No.
45:12 Caleb Hammer? Yes?
45:12 Speaker 03 Because-
45:13 Caleb Hammer? What do you mean?
45:13 Speaker 03 I, I'm gonna use one of my credit cards.
45:18 Speaker 03 I'm gonna pay down.
45:19 Caleb Hammer? Well, how? How? When? You spend more than you make? How? Hey, if you get, if you get laid off? How? If you get laid off, how?
45:29 Speaker 03 I have money that is going to be coming in from my last house that I rented, so.
45:40 Caleb Hammer? What?
45:41 Speaker 03 So I like rented this place and it was kinda like a rent to own situation where like fifty dollars of your rent every month goes into like the savings bank? And then at the end of your lease, you like get that back.
45:53 Caleb Hammer? Never even heard of that. I've heard of rent to own, but I've never even heard of whatever.
45:57 Speaker 03 It was a really weird program.
45:58 Caleb Hammer? Rent to save.
45:59 Speaker 03 No, no, yeah, it was. Well, the thing is, at the end of your lease, that money that you have in savings could go directly to your
46:07 Caleb Hammer? Down payment?
46:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, your down payment on the house.
46:09 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so how much?
46:11 Speaker 03 Like forty five hundred.
46:13 Caleb Hammer? I mean, forty five hundred is a lot of money to anyone, to be clear. But one, that pays for half of what you still owe on something you can't afford. Two, forty five hundred to your debt still only brings down your bad debt to fifty thousand dollars. So this math is not working. If you were about to say fifty thousand dollars, I'd be like, oh shit, we got something to play with here.
46:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, not that much.
46:33 Caleb Hammer? And trust me, there's a lot to play with there. I learned. But it's the, the, the fact is, it just, it doesn't make any mathematical sense.
46:43 Speaker 03 But it makes like.
46:44 Caleb Hammer? It makes one sense. This is essentially going and getting some McDonald's fries of the tit world. You don't need this. This isn't getting your boobs done after you had to have surgery to get cancer removed. This isn't, they are so saggy that your literal entire body is collapsing.
47:01 Speaker 03 But they are saggy.
47:03 Caleb Hammer? Kind of.
47:04 Speaker 03 Okay, thank you. You agree.
47:07 Caleb Hammer? I mean, I'm just, I'm agreeing just because you're saying it. If, if, if that was, if, if in a different world, we were doing stuff and all of a sudden I just came across those, saggy is not the word I would have thought of in any way whatsoever. That's kinda fucking stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for Chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account.
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48:30 Speaker 03 Well.
48:31 Caleb Hammer? They're just substantial and gravity exists.
48:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I feel them every day, so.
48:38 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, they're huge.
48:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
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49:10 Caleb Hammer? You're getting reduction?
49:11 Speaker 03 No.
49:12 Caleb Hammer? See, like, isn't gravity just gonna... Lindsay, can you educate me? Is gravity not just gonna work its magic again in a few years?
49:18 Speaker 06 I mean, but you're getting a lift and then an implant.
49:21 Speaker 03 Uh huh.
49:21 Caleb Hammer? A lift and an implant?
49:22 Speaker 03 Just a tiny little implant to like round it out, so they look...
49:25 Speaker 06 But so the lift? The lift will
49:29 Caleb Hammer? Yeah.
49:29 Speaker 06 And then the implant will
49:31 Caleb Hammer? Help hold.
49:33 Speaker 06 I mean, I'm not a plastic surgeon, but I understand.
49:35 Speaker 03 Well, they do this like mesh bra too. That was an option, but it was like an extra like $2,000. So I did not plan for that. But they do this like internal mesh bra where it's like.
49:45 Caleb Hammer? You're not even trying to get back into OF. You don't, I know. It's just for you. I'm trying to respect that. It just doesn't make sense. You can do this in a year. You can do this when you pay off debt and have an emergency fund. This is not an emergency. It's not. It's not. Your aesthetic, listen, you're sorry, your down payment on the aesthetics thing is literally done on Klarna.
50:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
50:06 Caleb Hammer? Klarna.
50:08 Speaker 03 I did.
50:09 Caleb Hammer? You didn't even pay for it. You put it on Klarna.
50:11 Speaker 03 I did not use.
50:12 Caleb Hammer? Pull up your Klarna for me.
50:15 Caleb Hammer? I guess you're supposed to go to Florida for the boob job.
50:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, we're doing a family vacation.
50:20 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, in January.
50:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
50:22 Caleb Hammer? Your boyfriend's family freaked out and wasn't comfortable with it.
50:24 Speaker 03 Yeah. So I canceled it. And then, um, I don't know necessarily if I'm going on the family vacation anymore because I kind of feel uncomfortable.
50:37 Caleb Hammer? What part did they not support?
50:39 Speaker 03 So his dad was just basically saying that he didn't feel comfortable about the fact that I was recovering like the last few days of our vacation.
50:46 Caleb Hammer? Well, yeah, they kind of fucked up the vacation for our family, is it not?
50:49 Speaker 03 I had the first five full days with them.
50:52 Caleb Hammer? Up the ending of the vacation. I don't think that's unfair.
50:55 Speaker 03 I don't have to be involved in everything.
50:58 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but your boyfriend's gonna want to say support. They're gonna feel bad. Come on. It puts a weird dynamic on the vacation.
51:03 Speaker 03 He didn't like the fact that I was flying after.
51:09 Caleb Hammer? Who did it?
51:09 Speaker 03 Immediately after.
51:10 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
51:11 Speaker 03 Which like is fine, but I'm like, okay, well, but the thing is I scheduled the surgery around that.
51:17 Caleb Hammer? When your boyfriend comes into the post show, how is he gonna feel that I've seen your titties?
51:22 Speaker 03 That's a great question, Caleb.
51:24 Caleb Hammer? I hope we fight.
51:27 Caleb Hammer? Okay. So Bliss Aesthetics $1,000 Sheen USA, Sheen USA.
51:34 Speaker 03 Okay.
51:34 Caleb Hammer? Wayfair, Victoria's Secret.
51:36 Speaker 03 Okay.
51:37 Caleb Hammer? Now I understand.
51:38 Speaker 03 Let me justify. The sheen was I went to the My Chemical Romance concert in Chicago. And I had a very specific outfit idea in mind. And so I ordered it from there. And then anything that like I didn't like or didn't work, I did mail back. So I did return it.
51:57 Caleb Hammer? Okay. Yeah. I mean, the Victoria's Secret, I see a refa, but even still.
52:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:00 Caleb Hammer? What are you? Okay. So on Klarna, what is this? What is this owed? I'm going to say it's like a thousand 500.
52:05 Speaker 03 Okay.
52:05 Caleb Hammer? And your monthly is probably like 250.
52:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:07 Caleb Hammer? My gosh. You know, Klarna has like the worst interest rates there are.
52:11 Speaker 03 I don't use the interest.
52:12 Caleb Hammer? I hope not unless you get laid off and you can't make a payment, you dumb.
52:16 Speaker 03 No, I'll, I'll always find a way to make a payment.
52:18 Caleb Hammer? Gosh, we've, we've got to bring the word whore back. What a good word. I love it.
52:23 Speaker 03 It is a good word.
52:24 Caleb Hammer? Yeah.
52:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:26 Caleb Hammer? What are you getting on Wayfair? Wayfair?
52:28 Speaker 03 I needed a nightstand. We had to like emergency move into our new house because our house got.
52:34 Caleb Hammer? So what? You needed a nightstand right there?
52:36 Speaker 03 Because I didn't have one.
52:37 Caleb Hammer? So?
52:38 Speaker 03 So I needed one.
52:39 Caleb Hammer? No.
52:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:40 Caleb Hammer? No, Wayfair is great as like a platform and products.
52:44 Speaker 03 I just.
52:45 Caleb Hammer? You did not need a nightstand.
52:46 Speaker 03 One nightstand, Caleb.
52:48 Caleb Hammer? No. Also Facebook Marketplace, I guarantee you could get one.
52:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, but the one that I got.
52:53 Caleb Hammer? And also if you were moving to a new house, did you not already have a nightstand?
52:57 Speaker 03 No.
52:58 Caleb Hammer? Well, then why'd you need a nightstand?
53:01 Speaker 03 Because I didn't have one.
53:02 Caleb Hammer? At your old place. You didn't. So you didn't need one?
53:05 Speaker 03 Yes, I did.
53:05 Caleb Hammer? Cause you were surviving without one.
53:06 Speaker 03 I used this like old ass.
53:08 Caleb Hammer? Good. Use that again. Use it again. Well done.
53:10 Speaker 03 And I trash shit. Because it didn't, it didn't, it, it doesn't work. It didn't match the vibe. I needed.
53:17 Caleb Hammer? What are you doing to your tables?
53:19 Speaker 03 It was old. That thing was from like, that thing was like 10 years ago and it was from Wayfair. And this was like whenever I was an alcoholic and so, so much had gotten spilled on it. Yeah.
53:29 Caleb Hammer? New lore drop.
53:30 Speaker 03 I, yeah, I went to rehab and I've been sober for over three years, but.
53:35 Caleb Hammer? Congratulations. That's good.
53:36 Speaker 03 Part of why my debt built up is because I was a raging alcoholic for 10 years and.
53:41 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but that's not why it hasn't been paid off in three years though. So I can have sympathy for the star, but.
53:46 Speaker 03 Well, because I'm still paying for rehab.
53:48 Caleb Hammer? What? Rehab was financed?
53:50 Speaker 03 Well, no, no, no, my insurance didn't cover everything, though.
53:53 Caleb Hammer? How much you owe to rehab? That's not this next credit card with hundreds in spending. So, no, we'll talk about that in a bit. But US Bank balance $8,462.53. That is not rehab three years ago. Your literal advances of $500 and your purchases of $373.20 are not rehab. Hey, how long does this take to pay off minimum payments only without doing any purchases? Of which you are incapable of, by the way.
54:18 Speaker 03 I think it was 14 years.
54:19 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, it takes 14 years. $276 is your minimum monthly payment.
54:27 Caleb Hammer? Which, when you get laid off, good the fuck luck. Because it sounds like you said you can't backtrack. So it sounds like you're not gonna have it. When are they implementing this AI thing?
54:34 Speaker 03 Um, he said that he was hoping to have it, like, in place by the end of January. So that means, like, tomorrow, whenever I get home, like, I'm putting in a bunch of job applications.
54:45 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, but that's just the start. You gotta curious your resume to all of them? It's not just mass applying. You gotta be hyper smart. And this is not a good job market. Like you said, you needed to set yourself up for success.
54:53 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm. I do have really good references, though.
54:56 Caleb Hammer? Uh, okay. I mean, that could be a play if your resume makes it through the, you know, the AI screening. Like, reference is gonna be one of the... That's not gonna be a make or break for a bit. I don't know. Not a kid trying to get a first job. You're not also trying to do, like, this massive advanced thing. You're at this very, very below mid-level. Interest hundreds charging. Okay, let's see what's going on. It's all bullshit. First of all, monthly carbon offset?
55:21 Speaker 03 Okay. That was...
55:25 Caleb Hammer? Are you...
55:25 Speaker 03 Whenever I was in one of my environmental classes in college.
55:31 Caleb Hammer? When was that?
55:32 Speaker 03 Oh, God, I think this was like...
55:34 Caleb Hammer? Dude, you're putting it on a credit card that you can't pay off that is accruing interest.
55:37 Speaker 03 I think this was like 20...
55:38 Caleb Hammer? This isn't... You're just free money.
55:40 Speaker 03 19 or something?
55:40 Caleb Hammer? This is the bank's money.
55:42 Speaker 03 So every single month, that $5 comes out of my account. I have no clue what website it was.
55:47 Caleb Hammer? So you were an alcoholic in college, taking for money?
55:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
55:52 Caleb Hammer? What the... Oh, my gosh, well, doing OF. What a journey.
55:56 Speaker 03 I worked like three different jobs at the same time. I don't know how!
55:59 Caleb Hammer? Well, just tell your credit card not to charge that anymore. Challenge it. Say you're done, you can't cancel it. No, just go plant a tree and it probably does more than this has ever done.
56:10 Speaker 03 We'll see.
56:11 Caleb Hammer? How much is this $5 really doing? I don't know.
56:14 Speaker 03 It, it, this was, it was like a whole calculator thing where you like put in where you live and like, it like grades your like carbon usage and everything and then it, you can select.
56:25 Caleb Hammer? Then it punishes you a fee? Like what?
56:27 Speaker 03 No.
56:27 Caleb Hammer? This seems like a scam.
56:28 Speaker 03 That was optional. And I felt bad. Oh, yeah.
56:31 Caleb Hammer? It's because you're the easy kind to absolutely trick and to weird performative activism.
56:36 Speaker 03 Environmental things, yeah.
56:37 Caleb Hammer? Environmental can be good. What the f**k is this though? This is, you're paying a fee.
56:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:41 Caleb Hammer? That's the environmental, go advocate for environmental things. Go support the products you like. Paying a fee just to feel good?
56:48 Speaker 03 Activism happens in multiple forms, Caleb. There isn't just one right way.
56:51 Caleb Hammer? And this one is making someone money.
56:53 Speaker 03 That is, yeah, probably, but.
56:55 Caleb Hammer? Okay, Blue Host.
56:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:58 Caleb Hammer? What's that?
56:58 Speaker 03 I started a blog, um, and then I stopped.
57:01 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, blogs, very in on 2026.
57:03 Speaker 03 I, it.
57:03 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you're paying for it.
57:05 Speaker 03 I need to cancel it. I think I did ca- maybe I canceled it?
57:08 Caleb Hammer? Nope.
57:08 Speaker 03 I, okay.
57:09 Caleb Hammer? Nope.
57:10 Speaker 03 I.
57:10 Caleb Hammer? Parking, MJ Events concerts, $110.
57:14 Speaker 03 That was my Kim Ko-Romance concert.
57:16 Caleb Hammer? Your concert. I don't give a shit.
57:17 Speaker 03 It was my Kim.
57:18 Caleb Hammer? You're literally putting $1,000 of boobs that don't even need to be moved.
57:21 Speaker 03 They were free tickets.
57:22 Caleb Hammer? But they're not because you had to pay for parking and bullshit there and bullshit and bullshit. You still spent hundreds.
57:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I didn't have to pay for the tickets that were like almost $1,000.
57:32 Caleb Hammer? It was, it was like a free gift telling you to go spend more money.
57:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I did.
57:36 Caleb Hammer? Exactly, and that's, you just had to put, you just had to put a down payment down on Klarna.
57:40 Speaker 03 No, listen. I, when I, when I went to see them for their like first reunion tour back in like 2022, because they postponed it, I was like freshly sober, so I was withdrawing super bad, so I didn't remember the concert.
57:54 Caleb Hammer? I'm sorry, the, the, the, the, the tear jerk is not gonna, I don't give a.
57:59 Speaker 03 I wanted a real experience.
58:00 Caleb Hammer? See them next time. I don't give a shit.
58:01 Speaker 03 No, because I'm not gonna be able to afford tickets. These were free tickets.
58:04 Caleb Hammer? You can't afford, so. No, we can get you to the place where you can afford to. Hey, guess what? Exciting news, cuz I know we're filming this well before it comes out cuz our backlog is juicy. Thank you, Lindsay and Colton. But we proved that we can. We do an annual report every single time. The average guest who comes on Financial Audit pays off $22,807 of debt within 12 months. The median pays off $12,000 of debt in eight months. We can get you there. We can get you there. Proven method.
58:34 Speaker 03 Okay, let's do it.
58:35 Caleb Hammer? Proven method. Show me. Well, I'm putting you through the Master Your Money program.
58:38 Speaker 03 Okay.
58:39 Caleb Hammer? To be very clear, that's our debt class, investing class, real estate class, budgeting class, recession class, job class, all the good classes. We're putting you through that and every future class you can join as well. You get the premium version of the Dollar Wise Budgeting App with the Master Your Money program, kalamhammer.com for all of that. So that's what they've done. They followed that path and they've done it, so you can do it too. But to say that you have to go spend money you don't have right now, when you're financing a down payment on tits and also, it's just so stupid. Instead of saying you can't do it in the future, it's so stupid.
59:07 Speaker 03 I mean...
59:08 Caleb Hammer? You literally can.
59:08 Speaker 03 I probably will still do it in the future, but I need to do it this time too.
59:12 Caleb Hammer? But you can't afford it. That's what's objective.
59:14 Speaker 03 It was important.
59:16 Caleb Hammer? No, and you're doordashing cha-chang, cha-king, chink, China King.
59:20 Speaker 03 China King?
59:21 Caleb Hammer? For $47.66.
59:22 Speaker 03 The best Chinese food. And to be fair, any like food charges on there, I split with my partner.
59:30 Caleb Hammer? Okay, that's not fair cuz that's still 25 bucks, basically. Fuck you. That is an insane amount.
59:35 Speaker 03 It was worth it.
59:36 Caleb Hammer? Klarna, she, okay, so she puts things on her debt Klarna, then she pays for her Klarna debt with her credit card that accrues at a 28% interest rate of debt!
59:45 Speaker 03 I didn't even know they could do that.
59:46 Caleb Hammer? Fuck you, of course it is. What do you mean?
59:47 Speaker 03 I thought it could, I thought it could only come out of your checking account.
59:51 Caleb Hammer? She's a beast. She's a creature. Oh, sorry, the whore's a beast. Oh my gosh! Oh my goodness, here's the actual reality. Her finances are...
1:00:07 Speaker 03 Go ahead.
1:00:08 Caleb Hammer? The whore's finances are so...
1:00:12 Caleb Hammer? Do you even know this is happening?
1:00:14 Speaker 03 No.
1:00:14 Caleb Hammer? The finances are so Again, reminder, $1,000 down payment on the titties.
1:00:20 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:00:21 Caleb Hammer? By the way, I will say once more, they are very nice. Like, everyone would be impressed.
1:00:27 Speaker 03 They could be nicer.
1:00:27 Caleb Hammer? Everyone would be impressed. You don't need that. You don't need that right now. But $1,000 down that she can't afford on Klarna, which then she pays with her credit card, while at the same time on her checking account, she is
1:00:40 Caleb Hammer? Oh, this is an impossible game. Pronouns are an impossible game. This human
1:00:46 Speaker 03 There you go. That works.
1:00:48 Caleb Hammer? Is literally overdrafting on this person's checking account, and it's being charged via cash advance from this person's credit card of $150!
1:01:04 Speaker 03 I immediately pay it back.
1:01:06 Caleb Hammer? Dude, can I not just call you her and she? Just for the simplicity of this conversation, so I don't have to think about it?
1:01:11 Speaker 03 Can you like alternate?
1:01:13 Caleb Hammer? Huh?
1:01:13 Speaker 03 Can you like alternate?
1:01:14 Caleb Hammer? No, cuz I don't think when I'm talking about what someone is!
1:01:17 Speaker 03 Fine, Caleb. We'll play by your rules.
1:01:20 Caleb Hammer? Can we just go like, uh, sex? Right?
1:01:25 Speaker 03 Sure.
1:01:25 Caleb Hammer? We just do sex rules?
1:01:26 Speaker 03 Sure.
1:01:27 Caleb Hammer? Just, just for the sake of ease of the conversation. Thank you, I appreciate it. I will respect it. I do respect it, and I will do it when I think about it. I just have a hard time thinking about it when I'm trying to think about numbers. Because the fact is, another number is this person then overdrafted "I gained $350 from the credit card doing cash advance fees of"
1:01:48 Speaker 03 My car payment came out.
1:01:50 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, that happens.
1:01:52 Speaker 03 Okay, so
1:01:52 Caleb Hammer? That happens. It's a shock.
1:01:54 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1:01:55 Caleb Hammer? Blown my mind. Oh, my car payment, that always happens.
1:01:58 Speaker 03 I had like $900 come out of my checking account at one time.
1:02:02 Caleb Hammer? That you signed up for.
1:02:02 Speaker 03 Because, no, no, no, no, no. Because my car payment came out, my credit card payment came out,
1:02:07 Caleb Hammer? Welcome to bills, welcome to bills. Welcome to the consequences of the things you signed up for, you dumb
1:02:12 Speaker 03 I'm expecting my electric bill to come out, and I forgot that my credit card was on auto pay.
1:02:17 Caleb Hammer? You should always have enough money for your bills.
1:02:19 Speaker 03 Sure.
1:02:20 Caleb Hammer? If you're not spending money on dumbass, dumbass, $1,000 on tits and then putting it on your credit card, moron. What are we doing? Miscellaneous bullshit alone was literally almost $600, and going out to eat was 200. Like, what are we doing? Cough.
1:02:32 Speaker 03 Uh, going out to eat was
1:02:34 Caleb Hammer? Oh, of course you do. Let me see your inner lip.
1:02:39 Caleb Hammer? So she is. C U N T.
1:02:42 Speaker 03 The C is worn off. I need to get it redone, but yeah.
1:02:44 Caleb Hammer? Uh huh.
1:02:45 Speaker 03 I was told it was your favorite word.
1:02:47 Caleb Hammer? Oh, great word.
1:02:48 Speaker 03 It's a beautiful word.
1:02:49 Caleb Hammer? Whore's becoming my new favorite word of the day.
1:02:50 Speaker 03 Okay, good.
1:02:51 Caleb Hammer? For what it's worth.
1:02:51 Speaker 03 I'm glad I opened you up to that.
1:02:54 Caleb Hammer? Interest thousand three hundred this year so far. The year's not even done.
1:02:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know.
1:02:58 Caleb Hammer? It's time of filming this.
1:03:00 Speaker 03 It's great.
1:03:00 Caleb Hammer? It's crazy. And then fees, fees, fees, cash advance, cash advance, cash advance, cash advance.
1:03:06 Speaker 03 I'm trying to be better.
1:03:08 Caleb Hammer? No, it's the lady part, right?
1:03:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:12 Caleb Hammer? Confusing. Just confusing.
1:03:16 Caleb Hammer? It's confusing.
1:03:17 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:03:18 Caleb Hammer? To wanna be called a guy, but have cunt tattooed on you.
1:03:25 Speaker 03 Too. You could call me an asshole. I mean.
1:03:27 Caleb Hammer? Oh, you're not an asshole.
1:03:28 Speaker 03 They're all. No, you are, but.
1:03:29 Caleb Hammer? I am. I am. You're not.
1:03:32 Speaker 03 Hmm. Okay.
1:03:33 Caleb Hammer? You're a whore.
1:03:35 Speaker 03 I mean, I'd rather be a whore than an asshole.
1:03:38 Caleb Hammer? I'm both.
1:03:38 Speaker 03 Yeah. At least you admit it.
1:03:41 Caleb Hammer? I just don't whore out my asshole.
1:03:42 Speaker 03 That's the first step Caleb is admitting it.
1:03:44 Caleb Hammer? I know. I know I'm an asshole in this context. For sure. I don't give a. US Bank.
1:03:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:51 Caleb Hammer? Again.
1:03:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:52 Caleb Hammer? US Bank two, I guess.
1:03:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay. So.
1:03:55 Caleb Hammer? Nine hundred ninety-nine dollars and six cents with a minimum payment of sixty-three. Oh, good. Purchased a hundred ninety dollars fifty-two cents on a card that is agreeing twenty-two dollars and sixty cents in interest. That takes two years to pay off, that we can't pay off in one, because we're also overdrafting like a dumbass. What are we doing? What are we doing? Why are you purchasing on this card, you fuck? What?
1:04:14 Speaker 03 This was originally opened because I was gonna do a balance transfer.
1:04:18 Caleb Hammer? How'd that work?
1:04:19 Speaker 03 It's a zero percent interest.
1:04:20 Caleb Hammer? Without changing our behavior first.
1:04:22 Speaker 03 You wanna know why?
1:04:22 Caleb Hammer? Whoa.
1:04:23 Speaker 03 No, you wanna know why? I didn't know.
1:04:25 Caleb Hammer? Because it didn't change your behavior first?
1:04:26 Speaker 03 I didn't know that you can do a balance transfer if you're opening a card that's in the same like financial institution as the one you're trying to transfer over. I didn't know that that was the thing that you couldn't do that.
1:04:37 Caleb Hammer? Why weren't you looking things up or talking to anyone?
1:04:39 Speaker 03 I.
1:04:41 Caleb Hammer? This day and age where every resource is at our fingertips.
1:04:44 Speaker 03 Through it all by my own, like I could have asked my grandma, my grandma could have probably told me that.
1:04:48 Caleb Hammer? When was this?
1:04:49 Speaker 03 Um, this was like right before I got my car.
1:04:53 Caleb Hammer? When was that?
1:04:54 Speaker 03 Two years ago.
1:04:55 Caleb Hammer? Then you had a boyfriend, shut the up.
1:04:57 Speaker 03 I'm the one that got his credit score up.
1:04:59 Caleb Hammer? How you're.
1:05:01 Speaker 03 See, the thing is like, I know how to do finances.
1:05:04 Caleb Hammer? Rules for thee, not for me?
1:05:06 Speaker 03 I don't do it. Yeah, exactly.
1:05:08 Caleb Hammer? Well, that's immature.
1:05:09 Speaker 03 I do. Well, I'm working on it.
1:05:12 Caleb Hammer? No.
1:05:13 Speaker 03 Hmm.
1:05:14 Caleb Hammer? That's what everyone says. Where's the working on it? You spent more than you made last month. Your debt's only going up. You're literally doing, again, nine thousand dollars right there. You already put one down. You paid that minimum payment on her credit card while overdrafting. You're checking the account because you can't manage bills to save your life. Working on it? Where's the working on it? I was like, working on it? You're working on it?
1:05:31 Speaker 03 I didn't even know it's on this card.
1:05:33 Caleb Hammer? Huh?
1:05:33 Speaker 03 I didn't even know it's on this card.
1:05:34 Caleb Hammer? I'll tell you, some kind of Microsoft subscription, going in and getting some bullshit. Vaping, she vapes.
1:05:39 Speaker 03 I do.
1:05:39 Caleb Hammer? Well, now, any, any sense, any sense of like,
1:05:44 Caleb Hammer? if you did have any attractiveness to anyone, it's out the door now. You nasty. What's wrong with you? You're vaping, you're killing yourself. What are you doing?
1:05:50 Speaker 03 Listen, I was an alcoholic for ten years.
1:05:53 Caleb Hammer? That's not good.
1:05:53 Speaker 03 So.
1:05:54 Caleb Hammer? So let's also kill ourselves in another way?
1:05:56 Speaker 03 This. Let me have the, this is the one thing that I have, Kayla.
1:05:59 Caleb Hammer? Why don't you just be not that?
1:06:02 Speaker 03 It's so hard to quit.
1:06:03 Caleb Hammer? It is. No, objectively, you did a harder addiction to quit, though.
1:06:07 Speaker 03 However, I will say.
1:06:08 Caleb Hammer? So you already proved to yourself you can.
1:06:10 Speaker 03 You will like this. When I do get my boob job, I have to quit vaping.
1:06:14 Caleb Hammer? Then just do it now.
1:06:15 Speaker 03 I can't. I tried.
1:06:17 Caleb Hammer? Well, then how will you be able to do it then?
1:06:18 Speaker 03 So I, I actually was. I was quitting and then.
1:06:22 Caleb Hammer? Okay, but how will you be able to do it then?
1:06:24 Speaker 03 About the boob job not happening at, you know, next month or whatever.
1:06:28 Caleb Hammer? Oh, no, the most stressful thing in our lives. I can't make my tits do this.
1:06:31 Speaker 03 Right back to it.
1:06:32 Caleb Hammer? Great. So how are you gonna quit then?
1:06:35 Speaker 03 Willpower and um.
1:06:37 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so it's not great. So you're gonna up everything, just like you already have.
1:06:40 Speaker 03 They have those little like detox pill things. I have them.
1:06:43 Caleb Hammer? Do that now.
1:06:45 Speaker 03 No, no, no, because I'm not quitting right now.
1:06:47 Caleb Hammer? But you should.
1:06:48 Speaker 03 Like, yeah, but I'm not.
1:06:49 Caleb Hammer? For your life, for your budget, for your health, for making sure you're quitting before then anyway.
1:06:54 Speaker 03 It's like an oral fixation. Like I have switched to like the zero nicotine thing.
1:06:58 Caleb Hammer? Fix it on your boyfriend. Trust me. I think he wants it since he's not getting anything else. Easy. Get yourself a stim toy dude.
1:07:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:07:05 Caleb Hammer? We've had weird creature women on you on the show, like you on the show that have those.
1:07:10 Speaker 03 I probably could use one. Yeah.
1:07:13 Caleb Hammer? Okay, and then Apple bill, Apple bill.
1:07:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:07:17 Caleb Hammer? And interest charging like crazy. Fees, you've had a late fee this year.
1:07:21 Speaker 03 Bullshit.
1:07:22 Caleb Hammer? Well, nope, you've had a late fee this year.
1:07:23 Speaker 03 Bullshit.
1:07:24 Caleb Hammer? Let me do this again. You've had a late fee, uh, not paying on time.
1:07:27 Speaker 03 Everything is on auto pay.
1:07:29 Caleb Hammer? Okay, doesn't matter. Just like your electricity bill was on auto pay. You didn't have enough money. If you do not have enough money in your account when this auto pay hits, especially since, I don't know, but it's been this year, 2025.
1:07:41 Caleb Hammer? Open your phone.
1:07:44 Caleb Hammer? Then interest and auto pay and it's. Listen, I'll let you use the Fizz card.
1:07:47 Speaker 03 I've had a late, a late payment fee one time.
1:07:52 Caleb Hammer? Well, one time this year on that card.
1:07:54 Speaker 03 That's crazy.
1:07:55 Caleb Hammer? I'll let you use the Fizz card debit card that builds credit. A lot of people in the audience use it who have a hard time changing their behavior. At least it's a tool you can use. No, that's not what we're looking at. Just give me your phone.
1:08:03 Speaker 03 Oh, okay. I was gonna. Now I'm mad.
1:08:08 Caleb Hammer? Should be. You're a fuck.
1:08:12 Caleb Hammer? Okay, those Apple bills. Let's see. Okay, we got Apple Music.
1:08:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, have to.
1:08:16 Caleb Hammer? Duolingo. What are you learning?
1:08:18 Speaker 03 Spanish.
1:08:18 Caleb Hammer? Why? You're in St. Louis.
1:08:20 Speaker 03 Well, I mean, cuz I feel like it's still important. I feel like.
1:08:25 Caleb Hammer? Why?
1:08:25 Speaker 03 Spanish was the big.
1:08:27 Caleb Hammer? You're in St. Louis.
1:08:28 Speaker 03 I know, but I'm not gonna stay in St. Louis.
1:08:30 Caleb Hammer? If anything, just learn, learn jive. iCloud Plus.
1:08:34 Speaker 03 Uh huh.
1:08:35 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, that's fine.
1:08:36 Speaker 03 Mm hmm.
1:08:37 Caleb Hammer? Wise, make your homes.
1:08:38 Speaker 03 Those are my, that's my security cameras for the house.
1:08:41 Caleb Hammer? Oh, well, that one's okay. Duolingo, I don't know if you 100% need right now. I like Duolingo, I just don't know if you need it right now.
1:08:47 Speaker 03 It was accidental, cuz I did like the free thing.
1:08:50 Caleb Hammer? And then sleep cycle and pic collage. Pic collage, what is this like?
1:08:53 Speaker 03 So I deleted, I cancelled that.
1:08:56 Caleb Hammer? And then we've had Duolingo, we've had Crunchyroll, that one just expired. Google Photos, we had, oh, don't have it now.
1:09:01 Speaker 03 I know, I cancelled it. Like, I'm, I'm not paying for any like, sorry, um, like, streaming services anymore. I hit the microphone, I was apologizing to it.
1:09:11 Caleb Hammer? It's okay. Okay, I have a, oh, Kia. Kia's, Kia's Sportage Hybrid.
1:09:16 Speaker 03 Baby, her name is Spock.
1:09:21 Caleb Hammer? I'm just surprised you're even with a guy. Can we get Erin in here?
1:09:25 Speaker 03 Are you gonna lesbian score me?
1:09:28 Caleb Hammer? Of course I am.
1:09:28 Speaker 03 Okay, yay.
1:09:30 Caleb Hammer? Welcome Erin, please come in, our resident lesbian expert, please come in. We need a lesbian financial score, or a lesbian score to see if she is lesbian or not.
1:09:42 Speaker 03 This is not gonna take long. Okay. Um, what kind of car do you drive? Like Kia Sportage Hybrid. Hmm. She's beautiful. How many pets do you own? Two. What are your pronouns? Say them.
1:09:53 Caleb Hammer? And preferred.
1:09:54 Speaker 03 And I, I prefer like male terms, like dude, bro, guy, man, yeah. Like, 11.
1:10:03 Caleb Hammer? Lesbian financial score, 11 out of 10, she has a boyfriend in the other room. Yeah, that's what I, that's what I said. If you want your lesbian score, see where you stand in the world of lesbianism. If you need to be more lesbian or less lesbian, um, go to CalebHarris.com/lesbian, take the assessment. It's free, it takes a few minutes. It's a win-win. You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates and you get that sweet, sweet cash for signing up for some amazing products. The first one is Chime. This is a checking account that I personally use and you get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime checking account and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings. And second, my investing app of choice these days is Weebull and get a 2% match on all of
1:10:48 Caleb Hammer? your money that you transfer over. And finally, sign up for automated investing with Acorns. Typically, the signup bonus is only five bucks, but with my link, you get $20. Ladies and gents, you get money. I get money. Enjoy. Links are in the description below. Guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer financial score at CalebHammer.com. See where you stand, where you gotta do better, where you're doing shit. Listen, it just takes a few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand in the world of money. CalebHammer.com.
1:11:15 Speaker 03 I, I will say.
1:11:16 Caleb Hammer? Why'd you settle with a guy?
1:11:17 Speaker 03 I don't like most men.
1:11:20 Caleb Hammer? Why'd you pick him?
1:11:21 Speaker 03 He just kinda came to me. They just like gravitate towards me and then occasionally I like let them stay.
1:11:26 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
1:11:26 Speaker 03 But I do love BB No Money. He's my, my favorite.
1:11:30 Caleb Hammer? I think he likes the show if I'm not mistaken.
1:11:33 Speaker 03 Hi.
1:11:33 Caleb Hammer? I've texted him a few times. We've texted about him coming on the show a few times. Him and Young Gravy.
1:11:39 Speaker 03 Yes, they're so fun.
1:11:40 Caleb Hammer? That was like a year ago.
1:11:41 Speaker 03 I've been like watching their stuff recently.
1:11:43 Caleb Hammer? Okay, so on this Kia, you owe $29,332.24.
1:11:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:11:50 Caleb Hammer? Okay. Well, you met him in rehab. Isn't that like the opposite of what you're supposed to do?
1:11:55 Speaker 03 Oh, absolutely.
1:11:56 Caleb Hammer? Isn't that like super bad? You're not supposed to be there for like a whole year, right?
1:11:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, we met in rehab and then, um, after about, I want to say maybe like three weeks of hanging out, we like went official and then like two weeks after that I made him move in.
1:12:09 Caleb Hammer? Okay, what do you think this car's worth? And that's crazy. I'm surprised it's worth. Is he alcoholic too?
1:12:13 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:12:14 Caleb Hammer? So at least you guys can hold each other accountable now, but that was a risky situation you put in.
1:12:18 Speaker 03 Like, we don't really, we don't have cravings. We don't really like think about drinking or anything.
1:12:21 Caleb Hammer? Good, but there's a lot of life.
1:12:23 Speaker 03 No, 100%. Yeah, they say like, don't even think about getting into a relationship until you're like a year in. I think I was eight months and he was six.
1:12:30 Caleb Hammer? What do you think the car's worth?
1:12:32 Speaker 03 Um, I think whenever I checked, it was 24.
1:12:34 Caleb Hammer? Well, Edmunds has an appraisal report and Edmunds is the best, uh, the most accurate value on the internet, much better than KBB and those other ones. So Edmunds has $22,048.
1:12:44 Speaker 03 Oh, wow. That was less than I thought. Hmm.
1:12:47 Caleb Hammer? So you're dramatically underwater on a 10% interest rate of death.
1:12:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know.
1:12:51 Caleb Hammer? You're losing to the market in every way.
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1:13:23 Caleb Hammer? Whatsoever.
1:13:23 Speaker 03 I actually had to order my car because it was in such high demand that they didn't have it.
1:13:28 Caleb Hammer? High demand. Payment so low that this is going to take forever to pay off. $281.31. What is this, like a 10 year term?
1:13:35 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My monthly payment is like 640 something, but I'm like, I'm super, super, super ahead of paying it.
1:13:44 Caleb Hammer? No, you're not ahead. You pay it by a little bit throughout the month.
1:13:47 Speaker 03 No, no, no, I pay, I make two payments a month. Every two weeks I make a payment, but because of the payments that I make, it's like, I don't, like right now, I don't owe a payment for like a month.
1:14:02 Caleb Hammer? The fuck you're doing? You can't, dude, you're just overdrafted. Why are you paying ahead on a car? That is the most
1:14:06 Speaker 03 Because it's one of those, it's on auto pay and I just, I just leave it.
1:14:10 Caleb Hammer? Well, stop, just auto pay minimum. What's the minimum? What's the minimum?
1:14:14 Speaker 03 Like 640?
1:14:16 Caleb Hammer? Okay, 640, that's the minimum. And you're only doing that. No, you're only doing minimum. You got credit cards that are accruing at like 28%. That you're overdrafted and cash advancing fund. This is so stupid.
1:14:27 Speaker 03 Fine.
1:14:28 Caleb Hammer? What is this? Any reason, any season ID.
1:14:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, so I did a debt consolidation.
1:14:34 Caleb Hammer? Which always works when we don't change our behavior. Go ahead, what? Tell me.
1:14:38 Speaker 03 I had like five, I think it was like four or five credit cards that were all like super bad. So the reason that it got so bad was because I had a Jeep Compass and it like shit out on me like right before my 26th birthday. It was in the shop three times within the span of two weeks. I spent over $7,000 on it. So I needed a new car.
1:14:58 Caleb Hammer? My gosh.
1:14:58 Speaker 03 And that was the car that I wanted.
1:15:00 Caleb Hammer? Consolidation reason.
1:15:02 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'd maxed out my Firestone. Rest of it ended up going on my credit card.
1:15:07 Caleb Hammer? That you were trying to use to actually like get, taking care of your shit though. Your emergency in a situation that you're trying to find a way through.
1:15:14 Speaker 03 It was, but it was because it like cut all of my like monthly credit card payments in half.
1:15:20 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, at a 13% interest rate. You're making them a shit ton of money for sure.
1:15:23 Speaker 03 Okay, but my car, like me putting seven grand into a 2015 Jeep Compass was not worth it. And so I like, it was just time to let her go.
1:15:32 Speaker 03 And then that was the one that I wanted.
1:15:34 Caleb Hammer? I may have agreed with that. You just weren't in the right place to do it. Cause again, you're locked in at a 13% interest rate.
1:15:39 Speaker 03 So this is where we ended up.
1:15:40 Caleb Hammer? Well, your minimum payment is what?
1:15:42 Speaker 03 I see. The thing is, I don't actually know what my minimum monthly payment. I think it's like 3, I think it's like 330, but I pay 450.
1:15:49 Caleb Hammer? Stop, that makes no sense.
1:15:50 Speaker 03 I don't, but the thing, I don't know what my actual minimum monthly payment is.
1:15:53 Caleb Hammer? Go on there and figure it out, you.
1:15:55 Speaker 03 It doesn't say.
1:15:56 Caleb Hammer? No, you go on there and you just set up auto pay for minimum. You, what is wrong with you? Make a phone call. What is wrong with you?
1:16:01 Speaker 03 But I like to pay every two weeks.
1:16:04 Speaker 03 Cause if I, if I only do it like.
1:16:05 Caleb Hammer? Stop. That doesn't make any sense. Go through our budgeting class, please.
1:16:07 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:16:08 Caleb Hammer? And use the Dollar Wise app, please. You are so, if you are doing this weird budgeting technique that no one advises because you can't manage it, it's not working. You are overdrafting via your credit cards. If it was working, you wouldn't be doing that. So why follow something that is continually proving to not work? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Why?
1:16:29 Caleb Hammer? So stupid. I don't get it.
1:16:30 Speaker 03 Convenience.
1:16:31 Caleb Hammer? Convenience, overdrafting is convenient?
1:16:33 Speaker 03 Well, no, no, no, but like having it set up the way that it is and it's like, I know every, every month, like,
1:16:41 Speaker 03 Wednesday.
1:16:41 Caleb Hammer? So the boob job has to be in Florida?
1:16:44 Speaker 03 So, okay.
1:16:44 Caleb Hammer? So you have to get there?
1:16:45 Speaker 03 They gave me two options. There is one in Chicago. There's a surgeon in Chicago that they suggested.
1:16:50 Caleb Hammer? It's like a four hour drive or something?
1:16:51 Speaker 03 But he's like three thousand, two or three thousand more.
1:16:57 Speaker 03 So that was the thing.
1:16:57 Caleb Hammer? So no matter what, we have to spend more because you have to get to Florida. Or spend a few thousand more in Chicago.
1:17:03 Speaker 03 It would have been perfect for me to do it at the end of the family vacation because we were already going. We were already going to be there.
1:17:09 Caleb Hammer? You're working with a concierge plastic surgery company that you found on Google?
1:17:12 Speaker 03 That's what Bliss is.
1:17:14 Caleb Hammer? What does that even mean?
1:17:15 Speaker 03 So they like partner you up with reputable surgeons that are like, that have like specific certifications and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Um, and then they give you like suggestions based off of like what exactly you're looking for. So because I was looking more towards like breast lift with like a slight augmentation, those were the two doctors that they suggested me for because that's kind of like where they do their thing.
1:17:41 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
1:17:43 Speaker 03 I don't know.
1:17:43 Caleb Hammer? Sounds like the biggest waste of money ever.
1:17:45 Speaker 03 It's, it makes so much more sense versus like going online.
1:17:48 Caleb Hammer? Spending thousands we don't have regardless does not make sense.
1:17:51 Speaker 03 Find a plastic surgeon?
1:17:54 Caleb Hammer? No, just getting this makes no sense is what I'm saying.
1:17:56 Speaker 03 But it.
1:17:57 Caleb Hammer? Right now, dude? Five hundred sixty-two dollars and sixty-one cents owed on the synchrony care. Is this care credit? Care credit? Yeah.
1:18:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:18:07 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
1:18:07 Speaker 03 So I originally.
1:18:08 Caleb Hammer? Of which is thirty dollars a month paying off nineteen months.
1:18:11 Speaker 03 Uh, so, okay.
1:18:12 Caleb Hammer? Usually it's the deferred interest.
1:18:13 Speaker 03 Zero percent interest right now?
1:18:14 Caleb Hammer? Oh baby, there is a thirty-three percent and that's owed in a couple, oh no, no, no.
1:18:17 Speaker 03 Listen, not till March.
1:18:18 Caleb Hammer? Uh, a year and a couple of months.
1:18:20 Speaker 03 Yeah. So I am already planning on getting that paid off. It's like, like I've already.
1:18:25 Caleb Hammer? Is that incorporated into your layoffs?
1:18:27 Speaker 03 I've scheduled all my payments so that it'll be paid off before the interest hits, but I originally opened that up.
1:18:32 Caleb Hammer? What is your required minimum monthly payment in order to pay it off in time?
1:18:36 Speaker 03 Oh God, I don't know.
1:18:37 Caleb Hammer? I mean, I, I can do the math.
1:18:38 Speaker 03 Um, I think it's like one. Ten?
1:18:42 Caleb Hammer? No, that doesn't make any sense. How's a one ten?
1:18:44 Speaker 03 When is it? Wait, when's the interest free over?
1:18:47 Caleb Hammer? It'll be about, I would do thirty-eight hours to be safe.
1:18:50 Speaker 03 Thirty-eight?
1:18:50 Caleb Hammer? Yeah.
1:18:51 Speaker 03 Oh, oh shit, then I need to go through and cancel my-
1:18:54 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, see, you're broken. You're stupid. You don't know what you're doing. You're just doing things without looking.
1:18:58 Speaker 03 I thought that I only had like a six-month zero percent interest.
1:19:04 Caleb Hammer? March twenty twenty-seven.
1:19:06 Speaker 03 Shit, really?
1:19:07 Caleb Hammer? Yes.
1:19:07 Speaker 03 Wow.
1:19:08 Caleb Hammer? It is accruing at a thirty-three percent interest rate. It's gonna be hundreds ahead if you don't pay it off.
1:19:12 Speaker 03 Well, yeah, it's gonna be paid. I mean-
1:19:13 Caleb Hammer? Well, I hope so. Are you incorporating in your plan your job getting laid off, which he pretty much told you is going to happen?
1:19:18 Speaker 03 No.
1:19:19 Caleb Hammer? Exactly. That's why you doing this, adding any kind of risk, doing this right now, when you do not need to, is moronic because you have an actual ticking time bomb in many ways coming at you, and the biggest one being a layoff.
1:19:33 Speaker 03 Caleb, I'm looking, I'm looking, I've been applying. I've got, uh-
1:19:39 Caleb Hammer? Maybe I'll look at your resume in the post-show.
1:19:40 Speaker 03 A job application for an autism behavior specialist that-
1:19:44 Caleb Hammer? Why would they trust you?
1:19:45 Speaker 03 Because I work with kids with autism.
1:19:48 Caleb Hammer? You, but you're not licensed in that, are you?
1:19:50 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, but they, it's not, I am not like the official physician or anything. I'm there for like care and advocacy.
1:19:58 Caleb Hammer? Oh, you're just gonna be one of those enablement people, though. I can already tell.
1:20:02 Speaker 03 Absolutely not. I do not let those kids get away with shit.
1:20:07 Caleb Hammer? Mm-hmm.
1:20:07 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:20:08 Caleb Hammer? Firestone, so this was for the-
1:20:11 Speaker 03 I don't use that.
1:20:12 Caleb Hammer? Okay, well, you have a balance.
1:20:13 Speaker 03 No, I, I added the boyfriend on as an authorized user, and so I let him use it for oil changes and stuff. Well, yeah, but I don't, I don't use it.
1:20:22 Caleb Hammer? Doesn't matter. It's under your credit.
1:20:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know that.
1:20:25 Caleb Hammer? And you said he's worse with finances than you, and you're already pretty spectacularly bad.
1:20:29 Speaker 03 He was worse.
1:20:30 Caleb Hammer? So is he making the minimum payments?
1:20:31 Speaker 03 He just didn't have any credit. Yeah, yeah.
1:20:32 Caleb Hammer? Cause that's what's required right now.
1:20:34 Speaker 03 It's set on autopay for him to pay it.
1:20:35 Caleb Hammer? Pay what?
1:20:36 Speaker 03 Um, I don't remember the balance, but I think it's set so that it like-
1:20:40 Caleb Hammer? The minimum or the whole thing? No, minimum is twenty-nine.
1:20:43 Speaker 03 Not quite the minimum. It's a little over the minimum.
1:20:46 Caleb Hammer? So minimum is twenty-nine. This is Firestone.
1:20:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, but that's not, don't, that's not a me payment.
1:20:51 Caleb Hammer? Okay, yeah, I'll put it in parentheses.
1:20:53 Speaker 03 Okay, thank you.
1:20:53 Caleb Hammer? But that's if he... What does he do for work?
1:20:55 Speaker 03 Um, he does sales for...
1:20:59 Caleb Hammer? Well, sales is very up and down, so what if he can't?
1:21:01 Speaker 03 Um, it's like lawn care and they do like holiday decor stuff.
1:21:05 Caleb Hammer? Your biggest fight...
1:21:06 Speaker 03 He started making a lot of money.
1:21:06 Caleb Hammer? Your biggest fight, you tit... is that he didn't pay...
1:21:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, he just started a shop.
1:21:10 Caleb Hammer? Well, sales, by the way, can take months.
1:21:12 Speaker 03 No, I know, absolutely.
1:21:13 Caleb Hammer? Before it comes up. But also, it was literally like just a few weeks ago, you guys had a massive blow up and you almost left him because he did not pay bills on time.
1:21:20 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:21:20 Caleb Hammer? So, don't put this payment in my column, [bleep] you. What do you mean? This just happened. Well, you try to... You try to live way too positive for something that we just need to be objective on.
1:21:30 Speaker 03 That is so funny for you to say.
1:21:31 Caleb Hammer? I'm not saying...
1:21:31 Speaker 03 Nobody ever says that about me.
1:21:32 Caleb Hammer? But you are about your finances. You are putting your head in the sand.
1:21:35 Speaker 03 Because I know it's gonna be okay.
1:21:36 Caleb Hammer? Like this layoff you're not thinking about... Except this is how this works. People lose their houses every day. People go through bankruptcy every day. This is not how it works. People go hungry every day.
1:21:43 Speaker 03 Yeah. My grandma actually used to get mad at me because like when I was in college, I would... No, I would just like not eat and I would just pay my bills and she was like, "You need to eat." And I was like, "Yeah, but I have to pay bills first." And she hated that about me.
1:21:56 Caleb Hammer? Uh, promo balance of 34%. Oh, oh...
1:22:01 Speaker 03 When does that end? I don't actually look at these things. I just sent them your way.
1:22:06 Caleb Hammer? Two days ago.
1:22:07 Speaker 03 Uh-oh, babe.
1:22:11 Caleb Hammer? You didn't give a [bleep]. Look at the balance was small, which added... It's on your credit, you dumb [bleep].
1:22:18 Speaker 03 Oh...
1:22:19 Caleb Hammer? What is wrong with you?
1:22:20 Speaker 03 But I don't pay any attention to it because like that's not me.
1:22:22 Caleb Hammer? But it's on your [bleep]. It's so stupid. You owe this if he does not pay.
1:22:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:22:28 Caleb Hammer? Or you're [bleeped].
1:22:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:22:30 Caleb Hammer? So what are you talking about? I swear, you're being so stupid for no reason. I'm so sorry. Oh, [bleep] student loans for what degree in women's studies did you get?
1:22:39 Speaker 03 I got a BS in business management.
1:22:42 Caleb Hammer? Okay, didn't see that one coming.
1:22:43 Speaker 03 Why? Because I have yellow hair?
1:22:47 Caleb Hammer? Yes, correct.
1:22:48 Speaker 03 I actually was gonna go into, I started with microbiology and then I fucking hated it.
1:22:54 Caleb Hammer? Oh yeah.
1:22:55 Speaker 03 So I
1:22:56 Caleb Hammer? You betcha.
1:22:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:22:58 Caleb Hammer? You betcha.
1:22:58 Speaker 03 That's a lovely stack of.
1:23:00 Caleb Hammer? Student loans.
1:23:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:23:01 Caleb Hammer? So you graduated?
1:23:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, June last year.
1:23:05 Caleb Hammer? Okay, student, oh, June last year?
1:23:07 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:23:07 Caleb Hammer? So are your payments started?
1:23:10 Speaker 03 So I did set up my like payments, it's on the like pay as you earn or whatever type.
1:23:16 Caleb Hammer? That's not great, that ramps hard.
1:23:18 Speaker 03 Um, no, my payment's zero dollars, so I just don't pay anything.
1:23:21 Caleb Hammer? Now it ramps hard.
1:23:22 Speaker 03 Okay, well, right now I don't have to pay anything, so.
1:23:24 Caleb Hammer? No shit, you, oh my gosh, you're not smart.
1:23:28 Speaker 03 I don't, I don't understand how it works, nobody, I, I mean, I didn't ask questions.
1:23:31 Caleb Hammer? The moment you file tax return and it shows you start making money, that shit just goes brrr.
1:23:35 Speaker 03 I didn't ask questions about how any of this works.
1:23:38 Caleb Hammer? You never advocate for yourself in any way whatsoever.
1:23:40 Speaker 03 I'm taking accountability, I didn't ask any questions about it, I just kinda like did it and I was like, okay, well hopefully this is right.
1:23:46 Caleb Hammer? Uh-huh.
1:23:47 Speaker 03 So what's bad about that?
1:23:48 Caleb Hammer? What, bad about that? The moment your tax return shows you start making some more money, they're gonna ramp those payments up.
1:23:53 Speaker 03 I already set it up for the amount of money that I make.
1:23:56 Caleb Hammer? Are you gonna make more at some point?
1:23:58 Speaker 03 I mean, yeah.
1:23:58 Caleb Hammer? What money do you say you make, just your salary, not your extra thirty-three percent income?
1:24:02 Speaker 03 I
1:24:02 Caleb Hammer? There it is, there's that smile, uh-huh, we all saw that. Shut the Do you even pay taxes on those?
1:24:07 Speaker 03 No.
1:24:08 Caleb Hammer? Well, IRS, here they is.
1:24:10 Speaker 03 No, I don't.
1:24:14 Speaker 03 Why would I?
1:24:16 Caleb Hammer? This is money you made.
1:24:17 Speaker 03 No, because my tax money doesn't go towards anything that I actually support. So why would I pay?
1:24:22 Caleb Hammer? The tax bracket you're in contributes less than like one percent to the overall taxes.
1:24:26 Speaker 03 Okay, but that's
1:24:27 Caleb Hammer? So you should still contribute because you're more of a taker than a giver.
1:24:29 Speaker 03 How?
1:24:30 Caleb Hammer? Well, because you probably get a tax refund.
1:24:32 Speaker 03 No.
1:24:33 Caleb Hammer? Yes.
1:24:34 Speaker 03 I did, I have in the past, but not anymore.
1:24:36 Caleb Hammer? We're paying you for your student loans, they're at a zero dollar payment.
1:24:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:24:39 Caleb Hammer? You're gonna take advantage of social things throughout your life, social programs, absolutely, look at you.
1:24:43 Speaker 03 I mean, I have, like, I grew up in poverty, so.
1:24:47 Caleb Hammer? So you're taking more than a giver.
1:24:49 Speaker 03 Well.
1:24:50 Caleb Hammer? And now you're not willing to contribute back? Now that you're making money, what's wrong with you?
1:24:54 Speaker 03 Not if the money's not actually going towards those things.
1:24:57 Caleb Hammer? Millions of dollars a year, you say it doesn't, what do you mean? Social spending is by far the largest.
1:25:01 Speaker 03 They've cut funding.
1:25:03 Caleb Hammer? Social spending is by far the largest percentages of spending in this country.
1:25:07 Speaker 03 Mm-mm.
1:25:08 Caleb Hammer? Well, yeah, so you're
1:25:11 Speaker 03 No.
1:25:12 Caleb Hammer? Are you, are you actually stupid?
1:25:14 Speaker 03 No.
1:25:15 Caleb Hammer? Is this what your degree in, well, actually, no, you got a real degree. So I'm confused how you're.
1:25:19 Speaker 03 I got a real degree.
1:25:20 Caleb Hammer? I'm actually confused how you are a moron. That doesn't make any sense.
1:25:25 Speaker 03 No, because like they're trying to cut spending on all of the actual like social services and stuff that our government offers, especially in the state of Missouri.
1:25:35 Caleb Hammer? Because we spend 20% more than we bring in. And that's our largest category of spending.
1:25:42 Speaker 03 What are you on? What are you looking at?
1:25:44 Caleb Hammer? I'm telling you the percentages.
1:25:46 Speaker 03 Okay, well, you can tell me the percentages, but I'm from Missouri, so that's the show me state. So you have to show me what you're talking about.
1:25:51 Caleb Hammer? I can show you the percentages.
1:25:53 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:25:53 Caleb Hammer? So social security, 23%. Medicare, some of the stuff you're talking about, 14%. Medicaid and other health things like you're talking about, 12 to 13%. Net interest on debt, why they want to cut spending because their debt keeps going up. Net interest on debt alone is 14% of our spending. Discretionary spending, national defense, below that at 13%. Non-defense program discretionary, 8 to 9%. 2025, this year. Mandatory spending, unemployment, SNAP, social security assistance, 7%. No shit, they're trying to cut the largest spending by far. Are you surprised? You kidding me? We've seen people abuse it on this show. You're not even paying your taxes. No shit, they're gonna cut.
1:26:39 Speaker 03 I do pay my taxes, just not that part.
1:26:41 Caleb Hammer? Not 33%?
1:26:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, just not that part.
1:26:44 Caleb Hammer? What is wrong with you?
1:26:45 Speaker 03 I only, that's only during the school year, so it's only nine months out of the year. So it's not like as much as.
1:26:51 Caleb Hammer? What is wrong with you? $452 in your checking account. Oh, it's all bullshit.
1:26:57 Speaker 03 Oh, no. Sorry.
1:27:00 Caleb Hammer? Do you give a shit?
1:27:01 Speaker 03 I do. I just like, see, I do budget every, every week.
1:27:06 Caleb Hammer? You spend more than you make.
1:27:08 Speaker 03 Every week on Sunday, I go through my like checking account and I write down, I forgot to bring my planner.
1:27:14 Caleb Hammer? You didn't even pay your taxes two years ago and grandma had to bail you out.
1:27:18 Speaker 03 I did pay my taxes. I didn't file them because I was having like a major mental health crisis and so I.
1:27:23 Caleb Hammer? Every five seconds of your life, apparently. Like, are you gonna make it?
1:27:26 Speaker 03 I was unmedicated for the majority of my life until like four years ago, almost.
1:27:32 Caleb Hammer? Okay, well, this was.
1:27:33 Speaker 03 So yeah.
1:27:34 Caleb Hammer? Well, until four years ago, this was a couple of years ago. This was two years ago.
1:27:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. This was before I got sober.
1:27:41 Caleb Hammer? No, you said medicated four years ago. Sober, you've been sober for four years.
1:27:45 Speaker 03 Since, no, since 2020, since August 14th, 2022.
1:27:49 Caleb Hammer? Yes, this was before then.
1:27:51 Speaker 03 That's what I'm saying.
1:27:52 Caleb Hammer? Or after then.
1:27:53 Speaker 03 No, it wasn't. I didn't pay.
1:27:55 Caleb Hammer? The date according to you from the interview.
1:27:56 Speaker 03 It was 2021 taxes.
1:27:58 Caleb Hammer? Ah, paid in 2022.
1:27:59 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:28:00 Caleb Hammer? Okay. Listen.
1:28:02 Speaker 03 And my CPA even was like.
1:28:03 Caleb Hammer? But it's probably bullshit. Two dollars and 26 cents.
1:28:06 Speaker 03 No, those are my crickets.
1:28:07 Caleb Hammer? Klarna, Sheen.
1:28:08 Speaker 03 Those are my crickets.
1:28:08 Caleb Hammer? For what?
1:28:09 Speaker 03 I have geckos.
1:28:10 Caleb Hammer? Sheen, DoorDash.
1:28:13 Speaker 03 Which one from?
1:28:14 Caleb Hammer? Hulu.
1:28:15 Speaker 03 I don't pay Hulu anymore.
1:28:16 Caleb Hammer? Good Time Smoke.
1:28:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:28:18 Caleb Hammer? Lake Recovery, there it is. Hundred fifty dollars. So a hundred fifty dollars for how long?
1:28:22 Speaker 03 Um.
1:28:22 Caleb Hammer? So this is a debt.
1:28:23 Speaker 03 January is my last month of paying it.
1:28:26 Caleb Hammer? Okay, then I'm not gonna put it down, but, well, actually, that is something at the, no, it's this next one, so I'm not gonna put it down.
1:28:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:28:32 Caleb Hammer? We're just gonna keep it in the back of our head. Amazon, Amazon, Petco again, Hot Topic, surprise, surprise, pull up your Amazon. DoorDash.
1:28:40 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no.
1:28:41 Caleb Hammer? Schnuckets, Amazon, Amazon.
1:28:43 Speaker 03 That's groceries.
1:28:44 Caleb Hammer? Uh, for seven dollars eighty-one cents?
1:28:46 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:28:47 Caleb Hammer? Okay. Cryomia, Instant Ink, Hilton, traveling, fuck you, Scooter's Coffee, Portillo's.
1:28:55 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, yeah, that was one of them in Chicago.
1:28:58 Caleb Hammer? Costco, McDonald's, Exotic Vapors.
1:29:00 Speaker 03 We were in Chicago.
1:29:02 Caleb Hammer? Levy, Pest Smart again, crickets, no more that time. Kindle, Klarna, go to the library, you fuck, McDonald's.
1:29:07 Speaker 03 I can't.
1:29:08 Caleb Hammer? Totally T, Panda Express, Amazon, Zoomy, Schnuckets.
1:29:12 Speaker 03 Yep. Schnucks.
1:29:14 Caleb Hammer? Schnucks. Pull up your Amazon, you fuck.
1:29:15 Speaker 03 I did.
1:29:17 Caleb Hammer? Give.
1:29:17 Speaker 03 Here.
1:29:18 Caleb Hammer? You got one thing in your car. Let's see, what do we got? A picture frame, eleven by fourteen.
1:29:25 Speaker 03 This first Christmas gift.
1:29:26 Caleb Hammer? Okay, well, this is coming out after Christmas, and I won't tell you. Uh, socks, screen protector, fit sink spray attachment, winter hat gloves, tho- those are okay.
1:29:36 Speaker 03 It's freezing right now.
1:29:38 Caleb Hammer? Thermal shirts, maxi feminine pads.
1:29:40 Speaker 03 Those are for my mom.
1:29:41 Caleb Hammer? That's... Oh, okay, I was gonna say.
1:29:43 Speaker 03 I order them for her, cuz she doesn't have Amazon.
1:29:44 Caleb Hammer? Cause we know you don't got one.
1:29:46 Speaker 03 I don't. I don't have what?
1:29:48 Caleb Hammer? You're moving away from vagina land?
1:29:49 Speaker 03 No, I'm keeping my vagina.
1:29:51 Caleb Hammer? You are?
1:29:52 Speaker 03 I just wish I didn't have a uterus, because my constantly... I, my gynecologist doesn't wanna do that because of the hormone replacement, cuz I'd have to an estrogen for the rest of my life.
1:30:01 Caleb Hammer? And we know you don't want that.
1:30:02 Speaker 03 No.
1:30:05 Caleb Hammer? Okay, uh, drying lotion, that's an odd.
1:30:08 Speaker 03 What is it? Oh, that's for my pimples.
1:30:11 Caleb Hammer? Sheer tides, brightening clearing stuff, wispy lash clusters, more lash bonds, Boom Nutrition, Superfood Greens.
1:30:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, I love those. I love my greens. Those are for him. Do, do I see?
1:30:25 Caleb Hammer? Is he gay?
1:30:26 Speaker 03 Huh?
1:30:26 Caleb Hammer? Is he gay?
1:30:27 Speaker 03 No, unfortunately.
1:30:28 Caleb Hammer? Is he bi?
1:30:29 Speaker 03 No, unfortunately, yeah.
1:30:31 Caleb Hammer? Doesn't make sense. Nose studs.
1:30:32 Speaker 03 I call him straight adjacent, though, because I'm non-binary, so he can't be like straight.
1:30:38 Caleb Hammer? Palatric things, and, okay, there's a lot of bullshit in here, a lot of things you don't need, and then some things that are okay. Like, all this shit on curtains for days.
1:30:46 Speaker 03 We have to.
1:30:47 Caleb Hammer? Comfeder sets, and lots of screen protectors, and, uh, eyeglass cleaners, like, we don't really need it.
1:30:52 Speaker 03 That's not me.
1:30:53 Caleb Hammer? Breaking his what?
1:30:53 Speaker 03 His screen protectors.
1:30:55 Caleb Hammer? What is wrong with him?
1:30:56 Speaker 03 I don't know. He drops his phone all the time.
1:30:58 Caleb Hammer? Alright, let's budget.
1:30:59 Speaker 03 Okay. Oh, I don't even think he saw my savings account.
1:31:03 Caleb Hammer? Where is it?
1:31:04 Speaker 03 Uh, well, it's gone now, but, um...
1:31:05 Caleb Hammer? Okay.
1:31:09 Speaker 03 I used it to, um, that, that lovely credit card that's at like 8,000, I, I put it towards that.
1:31:15 Caleb Hammer? Okay, well, I wouldn't do that until you change your behavior.
1:31:17 Speaker 03 Because I want my boob job, so I was gonna pay that off so that I can put my boobs on there.
1:31:21 Caleb Hammer? No, there's actually more than that. Two thousand hours dropped on a PC just to play Sims.
1:31:27 Speaker 03 Not-
1:31:27 Caleb Hammer? We'll talk more about that in the post-show. Hold it.
1:31:30 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:31:31 Caleb Hammer? Because we're about to go into that. But, okay, I'm gonna save four thousand hours of your income. Let's get you a minimum two payments. Outside of that one fifty you owe for the rehab, because that's about to leave-
1:31:38 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:31:39 Caleb Hammer? -in a month. Just keep it in the back of your head. And taking away his twenty-nine dollar payment. Student loans are zero for now, though. Ramp up. Actually, per your taxes, we'll see minimum two payments, in which you need required to pay off the care card before that accrues. One thousand five hundred eighty dollars. Okay, your portion of rent, how much?
1:31:53 Speaker 03 Seven twenty-five.
1:31:54 Caleb Hammer? Utilities, including internet?
1:31:56 Speaker 03 Um, roughly two hundred.
1:31:58 Caleb Hammer? Gas, room from drive-drive?
1:32:00 Speaker 03 Zero.
1:32:01 Caleb Hammer? Oh, because grandma. Car insurance?
1:32:03 Speaker 03 Uh, one seventy.
1:32:05 Caleb Hammer? Phone bill?
1:32:07 Speaker 03 Seventy-three.
1:32:08 Caleb Hammer? That's pretty good. If you want to get a lower, and T-Mobile's getting in your area, I would do-
1:32:12 Speaker 03 I have the upgrade any time you want plan, so I get the new iPhone every year.
1:32:16 Caleb Hammer? Okay, three hundred dollars for the groceries. That's what you can contribute.
1:32:19 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:32:19 Caleb Hammer? Use the meal plan.
1:32:20 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:32:21 Caleb Hammer? Use the cookbook. You get it all. TP fund. Anything else you need to survive, one fifty. You need a little extra help.
1:32:26 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:32:26 Caleb Hammer? So. Okay, medical, healthcare. Copays on a monthly basis, medications, all that good stuff?
1:32:30 Speaker 03 Medicines are eighty. Um, my psychiatrist is seventy-five.
1:32:36 Caleb Hammer? Per session or per month?
1:32:38 Speaker 03 Per-
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1:33:08 Speaker 03 Month and I would toss on another 75 just because I'm seeing an ENT right now about getting a septoplasty for my septum.
1:33:15 Caleb Hammer? Yeah, you got a small nose.
1:33:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:33:18 Caleb Hammer? Narrow nose. $230 for medical. Do you have a gym?
1:33:22 Speaker 03 Uh, 17.
1:33:25 Caleb Hammer? Okay, what, what pets do you have?
1:33:27 Speaker 03 I have two dogs. Yes, they have pet insurance.
1:33:31 Caleb Hammer? How much?
1:33:32 Speaker 03 Um, it averages.
1:33:33 Caleb Hammer? What's your pet insurance across the board?
1:33:35 Speaker 03 Um, 80 because we split it.
1:33:37 Caleb Hammer? Okay, 80 bucks subscriptions. I'll try to put in about 40. Anything else?
1:33:42 Speaker 03 I actually don't have, I cancel all my subscriptions except for my, except for my music.
1:33:49 Caleb Hammer? Exactly. So there you go.
1:33:50 Speaker 03 Whatever.
1:33:52 Caleb Hammer? Anything else that needs to be in the budget that I have not taken into account?
1:33:54 Speaker 03 Um, dog food.
1:33:56 Caleb Hammer? Yes. How much for pet food?
1:33:57 Speaker 03 Um, I would toss in another, I would just say like 250 for pets altogether.
1:34:06 Caleb Hammer? Like food and pet insurance?
1:34:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:34:08 Caleb Hammer? Okay, I'll cross off.
1:34:09 Speaker 03 It's easier for me to like calculate it that way.
1:34:11 Caleb Hammer? Well, but that's not how you're supposed to do it.
1:34:12 Speaker 03 Well, mm hmm.
1:34:14 Caleb Hammer? For the sake of getting this thing wrapped up.
1:34:16 Speaker 03 And I think, I think that's it.
1:34:20 Caleb Hammer? Okay, yeah. So $3,735. If you make 4,000 hours a month, which by the way, you only, you made less than that this last month. So no, you, you made 11 hours more across both your jobs. Without setting aside money for taxes, you made 11 hours more than you brought, than you needed to survive. And that's not including your 150 dollars that needs to go to the rehab. So, go.
1:34:42 Speaker 03 And that's why I use my credit card sometimes.
1:34:43 Caleb Hammer? $265 is what's needed to survive. Listen, in order to pay off all this debt, or that's what you have left over, in order to pay off the debt, $74,423.83 divided by 265, it takes 280 months to pay off or 23 years. So that doesn't make any sense. This is the reality. One, you guys might want to downgrade your living situation the best you can. Next, please.
1:35:05 Speaker 03 Try it.
1:35:06 Caleb Hammer? Uh, and you just need to get a new job. We need to just get into a better paying job. Even getting to 50,000 dollars is a big game changer. So get up to 55, start moving up to 65, you know, that you're not going to get that rid of. Hopefully it'll get you from. Place where you are now to 55 so you your your full time job is to get a better job so we can funnel all this extra money to pay off the debt because we could probably take care of this debt student loans minimum payments until they're paid off that's fine but we could pay off the rest of the debt in a few year in a couple of years get a fully funded emergency fund and then get your tits do not do them now you're gonna lose a thousand this doesn't make sense now it's not in the strategy and again they're good they're nice we like them they're fine okay um I'm sure he does too has he ever said anything
1:35:42 Speaker 03 no he actually is very against the idea of me getting a boot job
1:35:46 Caleb Hammer? listen you guys will never see them you have not seen them well I hope they don't see them because I don't want you to start to off again but they are actually very nice I understand why he's saying that you're just doing it for you yeah don't until you want until you can which is in a few years but go focus on a better paying job right now that can be a reward after paying off all your bad debt and get it fully funded emergency fund
1:36:06 Speaker 03 I do like rewards
1:36:07 Caleb Hammer? so there you go save that save that that's the game plan uh we're let me give the hammer financial score then we're gonna go into the post show we're gonna bring the boyfriend in look at the resume talk about this 2000 our game PC I guess
1:36:19 Speaker 03 I do have that
1:36:19 Caleb Hammer? yeah exactly you probably have it
1:36:20 Speaker 03 I think I have it
1:36:21 Caleb Hammer? and we'll figure out I'm sure there's drama between them I'll find some text messages um spending in a budget you overspent zero out of 10 debt no collections it's not great for your income the key is certainly underwater the worst of the worst of the worst well actually you're overdrafting via your credit card two out of 10 I'll do though emergency fund there was nothing in savings you just drained it zero out of 10 retirement uh what was the total five 5000
1:36:46 Speaker 03 oh my investments yeah
1:36:47 Caleb Hammer? yeah about a two out of 10 for your age
1:36:50 Speaker 03 I didn't necessarily count that as for
1:36:51 Caleb Hammer? hammer financial score rounded up to one one out of 10 ladies and gentlemen click that join button three premium shows posted every single day Monday through Saturday six days a week now upgraded best membership number one on YouTube for a reason it's gonna be a great extra 20 minutes I'll see you there
1:37:06 Speaker 03 I I have a little tidbit that I didn't share with you
1:37:10 Caleb Hammer? nothing we know no oh oh I don't even know
1:37:12 Speaker 03 so you know how we talked about how we had that big issue with like paying utilities to me on time yes so I actually audio recorded that conversation that we had
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