The Success Blueprint w/ Bethenny Frankel

What does it take to be one of the SHARPEST ENTREPRENEURS in the world? How can you apply proven PRACTICAL and TACTICAL business lessons from a person like this to your own start-up ventures? This week, you’re going to get answers to these questions and more from my guest BETHENNY FRANKEL. You probably already know Bethanny through her work as a serial entrepreneur, reality television star, podcaster, and best-selling author. Bethenny is going to give you an insider’s take on how she applied insights and knowledge to grow several businesses, including the phenomenally successful SKINNY GIRL MARGARITA. One of her foundational beliefs is that success is the interaction of INTENTION and LUCK at the same time. Bethenny explains why that involves WORKING SMART instead of just WORKING HARD, and why EMOTIONAL CONTROL is one of the most important keys to business success. You’ll learn how SOCIAL MEDIA plays a key role in building an IDENTITY and a BRAND that adds value to your business. Bethanny also explains why paying attention to the SMALLEST DETAILS, and having CONFIDENCE, DECISIVENESS, and PREPARATION are important elements to business success. Our conversation is an INTENSE hour based on the REALITY of what it takes to win in business. Pay attention and PREPARE TO PROSPER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time, too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  This is The Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:42Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm really excited to have this lady on the show. I've been trying to get her on for probably about eight months. We've had a bunch of almost near hits, but finally, we're getting it done today because she's got a big TV show coming out that we'll talk about. You know who she is, but what you might not know is like in 1992, I'm reading about her. She goes out to Hollywood to be an actress. She ends up being Paris Hilton's nanny for a while. And then she starts into all these different ventures, which were really interesting for me to learn about her. Stuff like she had her own baking business. She had an event business. She had a scarf business. Some of them did pretty well. Some of them didn't do so well. And she keeps trying these different businesses. And then she hit. She does The Apprentice, almost wins The Apprentice. Then she gets The Real Housewives of New York.

• 2:26Ed Mylett?

  And then, then, then I'm fast forwarding Skinny Girl Margarita and bam, here we are. She's like a entrepreneurial guru and I'm really interested in picking her brain and my audience is excited that you're here today as well. She's got a book out called Business is Personal, which we're going to talk about. New show with Kevin O'Leary on CNBC, which comes out Wednesdays at 10:00 PM called Money Court. Bethany Frankel, good to finally have you here.

• 2:51Bethenny Frankel?

  Thank you so much for having me.

• 2:52Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I love the show, by the way. I watched the preview show that y'all sent me and it's really good. It's not easy to match O'Leary's intensity level, but somehow in the show, I think that the combination of the two of you, it's like really kind of gripping debate television, watching the two of you going back and forth. What's it like working with him? I'm curious.

• 3:14Bethenny Frankel?

  It's the biggest surprise of my career, to be honest with you, is the way that he and I play tennis and hit the ball back to each other and elevate each other's game. The sum is definitely greater than its parts and I don't, you know, I'm the type of person who knows when I'm carrying something and I'm carrying everybody else on my back and it's not that case at all. You literally need both of us because we have such different perspectives and for the entrepreneur whose cases that we are, that are binding arbitration, it's entrepreneurs that are at an impasse. They cannot move forward and it could be a million dollar business, it could be a hundred million dollar business. They need

• 3:57Bethenny Frankel?

  not only just a verdict, but they need practical advice, bullet points of exactly what they have to do. And, you know, Kevin would say something and I'd say, I see that and I raise that because of this. And I'd say the same thing and it was really extraordinary and we both surprised each other measurably. It was phenomenal chemistry.

• 4:17Ed Mylett?

  It is, but the book, the Business is Personal book, guys, I just want to tell you all this. I read a lot of BS on business books. I'm like, this person has not built any businesses. And then I read your book. I read the whole book and I'm like, now this is legit. And there's things in there you say, I just want you to elaborate on, because I want you to give some of that masterclass to my audience today as well. You said something in the book, I'll probably mess it up, but you said, success is the interaction, I think you said of intention and luck at the same time. What, what, what does, what does that mean?

• 4:48Bethenny Frankel?

  It means that you have to be completely prepared on that boat with everything, with your net, with your fishing rod, with the right boat vessel. I don't fish because I'm allergic to fish, but and then the luck is if you can find the fish, where the fish are, but if all the fish come and that's the luck and you're not prepared, then, then you've lost that opportunity. And I just think that, and I see this with jobs. I see this with the way people work. I mean, it's, it's amazing. People are given amazing opportunities and they don't set themselves up for success and really be prepared and go that extra mile. So, um, that's, it's funny because in retrospect, when I think about that get off, get off your ass comment that was so controversial and I commented on it, that someone made.

• 5:34Bethenny Frankel?

  It's not that most people don't work hard because people are working multiple jobs. It's that you have to work smart. You have to really figure out how to utilize your time wisely and how to set yourself up for success. You have to be prepared in anything that you do.

• 5:54Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I think it was Kim, my neighbor who said that. And you commented on something Kim's up to lately too. I might get into that. I don't know. But I, it was Kim Kardashian, but I, I think within your case. See, I think I, I coach athletes and one of the things like in Major League Baseball, I know you're in New York. So Isaiah Kiner, actually the Yankees is a guy that I work with a little bit. And in any given major league at bat, they'll tell you they usually get one pitch to hit. So maybe there's three, four, five, eight pitches, but you're going to get one pitch to hit and a big league hitter has to hit that pitch or they're going to get out. And I really feel like in business, if you work hard, if you don't work hard, you may never get any opportunities. But if you're busting your ass in business, you're going to get a pitch to hit or two in your life.

• 6:36Ed Mylett?

  And that's really what you mean here. When those opportunities arise, you better be ready. That's the separator, right? Like you get that one pitch to hit. If you're not prepped, you're screwed. And I think so many people don't put in the work. For you, I want to go to the skinny girl margarita.

• 6:51Bethenny Frankel?

  Yes, what you said, yes, but if you're over like, not to be too intense about it, meaning you know, surfers too. You brought up the baseball, we're doing another metaphor. You gotta watch the ocean. You know that you're getting like banged up. You're getting hit. You're in the rip, you know, you're in that impact zone. And sometimes you could just step off, stand on the beach, wait till you're not going to be in that. Sometimes people just want to get in there right now. Then they got to get beaten up, get into the impact zone, then get out there. Then you're not going to get that many, but you gotta be, you know, if you get one, you better get them all. Like that's when the set comes and then you gotta really be prepared because that's what I've always been good at is I can feel the energy. I can feel, you know, the wolves are always at the end of the bed and you know, when like

• 7:33Bethenny Frankel?

  gonna go sideways and things are going to go bad or something. You gotta always be prepared for both, for the good and the bad. So not that you're negative, but you just think like

• 7:42Bethenny Frankel?

  things are going too well right now. I gotta calm down because you know, that's when you're skiing really hard or whatever you're doing. That's when mistakes happen. So sometimes when things are going really well, I, I don't want everyone so excited. I want everyone to not talk nicely about me so much. Like everyone calm down. Let's just get it to 55 miles an hour.

• 7:57Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 7:58Bethenny Frankel?

  That, you know, so when things are going really well, you gotta know that the pendulum will swing. You have to find that balance and understand the temperature of the room, but be able to feel when things are going to pop off and be, that's when you be prepared. Like you gotta, things are about to pop off. Let's all get like, get humble and get organized.

• 8:16Ed Mylett?

  That's so funny you say that because that's exactly, I, that's so interesting because most people are the opposite. So when things are going really bad is when they're really humble. Or, or they're really down or really hard on the people that work with them. And then when things start to go good, their humility disappears. And they're not as demanding or as intentional or paying attention like they need to. And that's why success is hard for people. It's actually the reverse. When you're down is when you need to be showing the most enthusiasm, the most excitement. And when things are difficult. Not cynical or skeptical, but concerned or hyper focused when things go well. That's why most people don't ride long waves in business because when things get going good, they believe their own press. They believe

• 8:59Bethenny Frankel?

  Look at Balenciaga. It's a perfect example of getting all big and now it's show because you get sloppy. Um, you got to, um, you, first of all, you can't believe your own bullshit. You cannot drink your own Kool-Aid and that is the biggest mistake that people make. Um, but yeah, it's about checking yourself. It's about realizing that what's really important and you know, you just want to keep like, you don't need anything to be blazing hot or cold. You just want to keep things nice and you, you, you, you pull back. We had so many metaphors, but I grew up at the racetrack. You pull back the horse when it's like getting away from you. That's not good either. You gotta be in control.

• 9:39Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. You gotta have emotional control. It's one of the, it's interesting that we're going there. I didn't know that we were going to go there today, but that is the main trait of successful people. Is emotional control. Athletes, uh, politicians that are good governors or whatever. They don't get super high and they don't get crazy low. They find a way to maintain. I'm surprised to hear you say that. Just because my observations of you. I think have been that you appear to me to be really an intense person.

• 10:06Bethenny Frankel?

  Very intense.

• 10:07Ed Mylett?

  Are you? So that's an accurate thing. And I, I wrote a book called The Power of One More. It's actually the number one business book in the world this year. And I'm reading your book and you're like, there's a chapter called make the call. Then you have this thing called stacking and you say, why waste an opportunity? There is always time for one more question. And you appear to me to have, I don't know if you grew up this way, but you have that thing where like you're not concerned about inconveniencing somebody else to get to your own success or to help them. Whereas most people are like, all right, I pushed this far enough and they stop. How do you nuance that? Make that one more call, you know, especially.

• 10:45Bethenny Frankel?

  I'm not, I'm not pushy in that way. I'm fair. I mean, you know, I know where the line is. I don't cross the line, you know, and I know I don't, I pick my spots. You know, you have to pick your spots for arguments. You have to pick your spots for asking for raises. You have to pick your spots for blowing everything up. I mean, I, I don't do that all the time. Basically what I'll do is like, I have a podcast rewipes on, on, on iHeart, for example. And they're an amazing partner. Like really, I don't have that many partners that are this good. Just let me do whatever I want and they're fair and they're great. But there'll be, there's

• 11:25Bethenny Frankel?

  one real email and the one and a half emails that I wrote. I'm like, this is the email. And you're just like, look, I don't say things a lot. I'm saying it now. I'm saying these five things and then the course gets corrected. If you're, if you're doing that every day, people don't hear you anymore. But when you want, you have something to say, you come in tight, right? And organized and say it and you'll, you'll get what you want more than just being that like whiner all the time.

• 11:48Ed Mylett?

  You're so right. It's an energy too, isn't it? You should be sensing energy like.

• 11:53Bethenny Frankel?

  That's the point. The whole thing is them reading the room. That's what I was saying about when you can feel the success. Exactly. And so I'm friends with some major people in the world like, and that's not a name drop. It's just saying for the story, like, let's say I wanted to ask Mark Cuban for something. Sometimes it'll be something comical and stupid to do because he's just as funny. But if I had to ask him a real favor, which I haven't. That's why I don't, I wouldn't ask him something because if I were going to ask someone who already knows that everyone's grabbing at them, I would come in with something real.

• 12:21Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:21Bethenny Frankel?

  You know, like Mark reached out to me because he heard I was something, going through something medical. He reached out to me. He doesn't reach out to me every other day about bullshit I'm talking about. That was something and that made me think, oh wow, that's, that, I just won't forget that. But I have certain people that are at a certain level. And I won't ask them, they'll get, you know, do you want to do my, my podcast, but only like, only if you want, no problem. Someone else asks, this isn't my ask.

• 12:46Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:47Bethenny Frankel?

  I very rarely ask anyone for anything.

• 12:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:50Bethenny Frankel?

  Most people, I don't ask people for things.

• 12:52Ed Mylett?

  It's strategic. I just bought a company and the first day, the first day, I haven't even been, I didn't even own the company, announced that I own the company for about two hours. And this man walked in and asked me for a raise. And I'm like, could you have picked a worse spot? First off, it's a Monday. I just bought a company. Can you imagine what's? Don't you also those people that send you the long text message on a Monday morning? I'm like, dude, it's Monday morning. The whole world blows up on Mondays. This guy strategically did not understand the timing of when to ask the question. Read the room, feel the energy, right? It's the same thing in business. And in life. So I totally agree with that. How did, how did the, tell me the story of Skinny Girl Margarita? Like, how did you even come up with the idea of it?

• 13:36Ed Mylett?

  I don't know. I just read that it was successful. I read about what I've heard you sold it for. But how did the original idea, the impetus for it happen?

• 13:45Bethenny Frankel?

  This is the thing that entrepreneurs need to hear. For me, most of my successes have not been from any sort of big, grand, amazing idea. It's just a practice in my life, something I was doing that people were like, whoa. So I was playing games of makeup on the worldwide interwebs. I was playing, you know, on the, on social media and people went crazy and it went viral many times and that became a, a small, like, I became a beauty influencer and I didn't know how to do my own makeup. So I just was making margaritas and I, I love margaritas and I just wanted to make one that was slightly sweet, but, but that was not overly sugary, that I could still trust and that it was very drinkable. I wanted to have a signature drink.

• 14:29Bethenny Frankel?

  So I just ordered it at a restaurant, was made fun of for drinking tequila because before me. Women didn't drink tequila unless they were in college drinking dark tequila. It wasn't like the tequila soda lifestyle women are living now. And I was sort of being made fun of for ordering tequila and explained the name of what I called this drink, but it wasn't formal. I was just saying it's a skinny girls margarita. I had an S, which felt like Facebook when he said, remove the the.

• 14:56Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 14:57Bethenny Frankel?

  But, uh, and it was a massive question on the Housewives in the reunion by viewers. What is in that? And that's the point. That's the literal example of the interaction between luck and hard work or being prepared. Because Sarah Jessica Parker knew everybody was talking about the Cosmopolitan on Sex and the City. She could have done SJP Cosmo, you know, she, she, that, that was jumping off the page to us or, you know.

• 15:29Bethenny Frankel?

  And she later did shoes, which was very on brand, but for some reason I would walk up to bartenders and I would order it by ingredients. And they'd say, everyone's ordering this thing now. And I thought to myself, how do I get in there? And everybody said, no, every major liquor company said, no. I ended up finding a partner. I did it myself. And then the major liquor companies came to buy, to buy it. So that is a perfect example of, you know, pushing, pushing, pushing, keep going.

• 15:53Ed Mylett?

  Did it happen without your brand though?

• 15:57Bethenny Frankel?

  What brand?

• 15:57Ed Mylett?

  You, Bethany's brand, her social media.

• 16:01Bethenny Frankel?

  I was nothing. There was no social media back then. There was very, it was just Twitter and, and, um, did it happen without the Bravo? Uh, yes, but much more slowly now with social media, the way it is now, maybe. Back then there was, when I started the Housewives, there was no Twitter. Back in my day, there was, there was no Twitter.

• 16:18Ed Mylett?

  I was in that day. I know that day.

• 16:19Bethenny Frankel?

  Yeah, there was no Twitter when we started. So later Twitter was there and I was one of the first one. I was the first one on it from that genre. But um, no, many things had to happen to make that escalate. The television show popped that off for sure. But, but the television show didn't do anything. They don't want to cover that. I was jamming it through by being entertaining with my content and, and making sure that that content was entertaining too. Self deprecating about the logo, being honest. I mean, there are many things that contributed to that.

• 16:47Ed Mylett?

  What about someone listening to this? And so they're not on The Real Housewives, but now social media is an individual's reality show, if they choose it to be. And for me, I was, I was a successful entrepreneur way before social media. But I feel like business lately is no longer who you know, but it's more who knows you. A lot of it is who knows you. And for me, unbelievable of opportunities have come my way because I decided to get, you use the word attention and intention in the book. But I've intentionally paid my attention to expanding my, call it my notoriety, my expansion of people hearing about me. It makes all my businesses operate much easier.

• 17:30Bethenny Frankel?

  Via what? Yeah, but via what? Because a publicist or all social media and are you spending money on it?

• 17:36Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, my, my, my Instagram's got, you know, I've got two and a half million followers on Instagram. I've got 10 million total. My podcast is a top five podcast, but I, and seven years ago, I literally had no accounts. I didn't.

• 17:49Bethenny Frankel?

  Wow, that's crazy. And so you spent, did you spend a lot of money on that or not as much?

• 17:53Ed Mylett?

  No, none. Like I had, my son was my guy. But what I did is I made, I think there's a few ways to get big on social. One's to be entertaining and another way is to be valuable. And I, I knew a lot, so I was valuable in the beginning. I gave great content for free, stuff that other people charged for, right? But my point, and this isn't about me necessarily, but my point, I think what I'm asking you is, Ed, this is, you know, you're one of the most, let's just take the last 10 years. You're one of the more iconic brands of a female entrepreneur slash entertainment person. I don't even know what that means, but you know what I mean.

• 18:32Bethenny Frankel?

  No, I do. I know because I get, because there aren't that many women in business that are also. Humorous and entertaining that are, you know, you could be entertaining while also being intelligent about business. And I'm finding because of all the offers I get for TV shows and different opportunities in the business space, there aren't that many women to go to.

• 18:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. And by the way, opportunities keep coming your way, even if you haven't been successful at every single one of them. You had a talk show, you talked publicly about, I didn't like doing it. It didn't work. Bam. Now you got another show. You got a bestselling book. And I have to believe, I know who you are because you went to LA and then you were, you were on Saved by the Bell, like you were, you know, but working on that show. Are you intentional about Bethany Inc., her notoriety, her brand? And would you say to a young woman right now who's listening goes, I'm gonna have a, I'm like the two ladies that were on your show with Kevin. I'm gonna create a cookie business, a baking business. Would part of your advice be, go build your brand also?

• 19:32Bethenny Frankel?

  I just don't think that way because, and I, yes, and you have thought that way. And it doesn't mean there's a right or a wrong. I go from the inside out, not the outside in. So the way you just described it is like, build your brand. That's very big. I come, the way I came up, there was no word brand. There was no word entrepreneur. I wasn't an entrepreneur. I, you know, liked, I liked healthy food. So I went to school for food and healing and became a natural food chef. I liked pashminas. Sorry, I found a pashmina, I liked it and saw a hole in the market. So I ended up selling them, you know, hundreds of thousands. I go from the inside out, but that's not that it's right. I sit on Instagram by accident, looking at blush and then say, oh, wait, they're, the people are listening. I drink a drink,

• 20:15Bethenny Frankel?

  talk about it. And then here, wait, the people are like, I feel the connection. It's like two people, you're rubbing two sticks together unintentionally. You're like, whoa, that was something. So for me, I realize what's resonating and what's true to me. They have to, they have to align. So if I'm talking about what's going on with my medical health and saying, I'm so sick of people preaching about non or vaccine or everything being political, or if I decide to say a rant on Balenciaga. That's part of my brand in that I'm a person who's known to be truthful, like me or hate me. So that translates into the beauty. It means you're being truthful about products and it translates into on television with Kevin O'Leary and people's businesses.

• 20:59Bethenny Frankel?

  So my brand ultimately is truth and just straight up no chaser. But I didn't decide to make that. It's just what's authentically inside me. And then I decide, decide that we have to protect the realm and align with that. So no, I'm not doing that opportunity and I'm not talking about that because it doesn't align with who I am. And it's who I am and then who I've also mandated with everybody around me that we have to stay to be, don't, don't stray. And if you're going to stray, you're mentioning this is an outlier. And sometimes I don't even know it's an outlier. I grew up at the racetrack and I posted something about Giraffe Kings and I was like trolled. And I thought, wait a second, people will spend money on plastic surgery and whatever, but they can't on gambling.

• 21:42Bethenny Frankel?

  Like my audience doesn't want to see that. So I'll either not do that again because I don't want, because I understand their perspective. Or I say, this is my, this is where the rubber meets the road between us.

• 21:52Ed Mylett?

  Why, why do you do all this, Bethany? I, I, you interest me so much because I read how you grew up. And then I'm like, so did she become an entrepreneur because she just wanted to be like independent and free? Because you didn't start as an entrepreneur. You started out with like with jobs, but like.

• 22:10Bethenny Frankel?

  No, I didn't want to be an entrepreneur. I didn't know there was such a thing to be an entrepreneur. I totally overshot the mark. I, that's what I'm saying. Like I know I don't have any plans ironically. I wanted to cook on television. I wanted to be on the Food Network and the head of the Food Network at the time said to me, it will never happen. So then the, the Housewives showed up and I was, you know, baking cookies and doing all my stuff and, and I didn't want to do it at first. And then I thought, it's not that easy to get on television and I could promote being a natural food chef. I wanted to be some sort of an entertainer, be myself. I had no idea that I would be an entrepreneur, not even close. But if I look back, I thought about all the jobs I had and all the money I made. Uh, you know, not a lot of money. I just mean the different things that I did from selling pashminas to doing events.

• 22:56Bethenny Frankel?

  So if you look back, it sounds entrepreneurial, but I never wanted to be an entrepreneur.

• 23:04Ed Mylett?

  Don't be humble. What's your special? What is, what is, don't be humble. What is, what is your thing? What is, what is your special? Is it your grind? Is it your personality? Is it your intensity? Is it your?

• 23:16Bethenny Frankel?

  I miss nothing. I miss nothing. You can't, I miss not, I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't miss. I don't like. I don't forget. I don't. I'm on it. I'm juggling 7,000 things in my head. I, I've come capturing them all. I don't stop thinking, which is not fun for me. I mean, I make sleep a discipline and I do it and I do relax and I do vacation. But my brain, it's very hard for me to take it down and that's the discipline that I have to have. Like Kevin loves being like running around, doing this, doing that, be here, be there, traveling more. That's not good for me. I would be good at that, but that's not good for me. So I value the taking it down a notch. But yeah, I'm not. It's like I'd be great Gordon Gekko. Money never sleeps.

• 24:01Bethenny Frankel?

  I don't want to be that. And I don't want that life. But like, you know, if money never sleeps, then I'm in, you know, then I'm in the right business.

• 24:09Ed Mylett?

  Are you happy?

• 24:12Bethenny Frankel?

  Um, yeah, really. I'm, I think peace is happiness and I'm very at peace right now. Yes, I am happy.

• 24:17Ed Mylett?

  So it's been, I, I asked this to-

• 24:19Bethenny Frankel?

  Has anyone ever said to you, no, I'm not happy? When you've asked that question?

• 24:22Ed Mylett?

  They've hesitated. Yeah, they've hesitated and I've had some people. I mean, even if you asked me that, you'd be, it would depend on the week you asked me. And I have a blessed life. I've, you know, I've got beautiful children. I've been married to a girl I went to high school with. I've got hundreds of millions of dollars. I've, um, my health is great. I should be happy every day, but I'm not. And I get asked often if it was worth it. Like, you know, I, I wasn't in clubs. I didn't travel a lot. I, I sacrificed a lot of things. To probably even my health to some extent. I'm not saying you have to do those things to win. In fact, I now know you don't have to.

• 25:03Ed Mylett?

  But I've had a lot of like nights I didn't sleep, just like you. I've had a lot of waking up with stress. I've had a lot of that and I I'm curious with you. I'm thrilled to hear that you're happy. That's wonderful.

• 25:12Bethenny Frankel?

  Well, I it's the discipline I talked about. I have had higher highs and lower lows. But I don't even like the higher highs because it's just it's activation. And I'm I'm I can sometimes be bored in my life because of the discipline of it and because I'm a very much ironically an introvert. I don't like to go out of my I don't like to leave my house. I really don't. Um, unless I'm have to be somewhere. I don't just like go out to lunch or just like walk around dressed up in the day. It's just not who I am. So, um, for me, happiness is that balance and that peace and that not the the drastic highs and the lows, which I'm used to from growing up in a very crazy

• 25:54Bethenny Frankel?

  household and life. So that is the whole thing I was saying with the discipline about the sleep and the peace and the health and the you know, I'm yeah, of course, let's go there. Let's go on that trip. It sounds great. Let's book that trip and then you get there and then you've done three trips and you're exhausted and you're stripped. I'm trying to avoid that.

• 26:10Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 26:10Bethenny Frankel?

  Overall in my whole life, the the the the roller coaster.

• 26:13Ed Mylett?

  Do you have a ton of confidence? And if you do, how'd you build it?

• 26:19Bethenny Frankel?

  I do have a ton of confidence.

• 26:21Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I see.

• 26:21Bethenny Frankel?

  Not arrogance. They're not the same. I'm not arrogant. I'm confident and I don't know. It it's upsetting and it's such a waste for people to not be because it's based on something inside of their head, their psyche, their emotions, and it's it's I know because I have noise about different things, but not about confidence, like about am I good enough? Can I get that? I just like plow through everything, just like walk into it. Oh, I didn't, you know, walk through the liquor business when it was back then all about men, like walk through, didn't even know it was all about men, didn't realize it was run by men for marketed to men, no idea. Boom.

• 27:03Bethenny Frankel?

  Podcast space, never listened to a podcast in my life to this day. Walk in, put the microphone on, I think, you know, I'll be decent at this.

• 27:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 27:12Bethenny Frankel?

  Boom, three podcasts. I just walk through. If you stop, if you think, when you stop and you hesitate, that's a lack of confidence and that will get you stuck. What's gonna happen? You know, I say to my daughter, she wanted to meet friends this summer and, you know, she doesn't go to camp. And there was a girl on the beach and I was frustrated that she wouldn't walk up to her. And I said, listen, let's just play this thing out. Cause she said, I want to go to the beach and meet a friend. I said, you walk up, she says, you're disgusting. I never want to see you again. I don't want you to ever come up to me. I hope I never run into you again. She says that. What hap- you didn't know her, you lost nothing. You never see her again. You, you don't know who, like, there's nothing. You don't walk up, you know, but what happens if she wants to be your best friend? And she's the best friend for the rest of your life. You know, you didn't walk up to her.

• 27:54Bethenny Frankel?

  Nothing's, definitely nothing's going to happen if you just sit and don't walk up to her.

• 27:58Ed Mylett?

  See, I love that. You have this thing. Why don't you talk about this for a minute? Cause we're not gonna have a lot of time left, but I just think you're so, I, I don't think you realize how profound some of the things are that you think and do. Like, you're like, yeah, of course I do, but that's not normal. That's why we're talking to each other, right? And I don't think that, I love when people that have great things about them kind of aren't aware of it. And I think most times when you're really great at something, you're like, it's no big deal because it's something you already own. But you do have that and you say some brilliant things in your book. Like, I just want to acknowledge you because like, you know, famous person, I was, I'll crank out this book. No, it's a good book.

• 28:40Bethenny Frankel?

  Thank you.

• 28:40Ed Mylett?

  And there's one little nuance in the book that I, I'll say it my way, but then I want you to say it your way, which will be better. Which is that, like, I'm a preparation freak. Like, I know a lot about you. Right? I worked hard to get ready for this thing today.

• 28:52Bethenny Frankel?

  Which I appreciate, which I, by the way, I had a very famous person recently interview and didn't know like the basic, like the most recent basic thing. Like, literally was probably like, oh, how's it doing the housewives? It's like, what?

• 29:04Ed Mylett?

  Hello, where do you?

• 29:05Bethenny Frankel?

  Yeah.

• 29:05Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, no, I know. I know what you mean. When I get interviewed, um, I feel like the highest form of respect is that they, they've prepared. Even if they're not very good interviewer.

• 29:14Bethenny Frankel?

  They made a mistake, but it's sometimes they, like, I'll sometimes prepare and I'll say, oh, you have a sister named Joanne? Or like somehow it was printed wrong in the article. They at least know that you've done the research.

• 29:24Ed Mylett?

  You've done the digging. Yet at the same time, I think people take that to an extreme. Cause then they use lack of preparedness.

• 29:33Ed Mylett?

  To take lack of action. And in the book, you're kind of like, hey, trust the process a little bit. But also like, I don't. There's been almost nothing I've ever done that I've won at, I was completely prepared for. But I've been willing to step into the unknown and kind of have that internal confidence of, I'll figure it out when I get there. I'll figure it out when I get there. The businesses I built, podcasting, for example. Literally, when I set my social media up, I told my son to set me up. I swear to you on anything. I said, you need to get me one of these Insta face, Insta face accounts. I literally even know what they were. There isn't, I didn't even know what I was talking about. So, but just, I'm like, I'm willing to kind of get in, get me in the room.

• 30:17Bethenny Frankel?

  Well, no, you know, something's going on. That happened to me with TikTok before those two girls that have all the followers, Charli D'Amelio and the other one.

• 30:23Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 30:24Bethenny Frankel?

  I was saying to my social media person, I, I like, I would be good on TikTok. I think that would be good. And she said, it's for eight to 13 year olds. Don't bother. And I always regretted not pushing that because it was a gut thing. Yeah. I, you know, and Gary Vee is the one who told me at that time, that was going to be the whole thing. I didn't even know what he's talking about. And, you know, that's a lesson too, to not be like, oh, who cares? I don't know what that is. You gotta investigate.

• 30:48Ed Mylett?

  But you don't need to be completely prepared, you're saying. In your business life, like, have you known every, when you got into the liquor business that you didn't know or anything? Did you even know where the buyer was going to come from? Did you have any idea where you're going to be?

• 31:00Bethenny Frankel?

  I didn't know what, no, no, no. I literally was walking my dog from my studio apartment. I had this lawyer that was like, literally not, he was a lawyer, but I don't know what kind. He probably was a veterinarian on the side too. He was a very inexpensive lawyer. It's all I could afford. And I was doing this deal with this guy. Now my deals are so complicated. The deal with the guy was like, one day, an agent wrote it up. And a lawyer looked at it and he said to me, we have to talk. Do you want this to be licensing or equity?

• 31:26Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 31:27Bethenny Frankel?

  I said, what? I don't know what that mean. What do those two things mean?

• 31:30Ed Mylett?

  I love it.

• 31:30Bethenny Frankel?

  He said licensing is you get them, start getting money now. Equity is, you know, you have more risk, but it's your thing. I said, wait, so that's like more skin in the game. He said, yes. I said, okay, this is my ace in the hole. This idea. I want that one. I want that thing. I didn't, but I've always been good at concepts. So he explained to me what the two things were. So I'm like, okay, now I understand the concept. So lawyer man, do it that way. And the same thing happened when I was negotiating with Beam Global. I, the biggest, smartest thing, the biggest thing I ever did in business was to say, wait a minute. You want to buy Skinny Girl, but you're a liquor company and Skinny Girl could be everything. It could be lip gloss. It could be jeans. It could be sunglasses. It could be popcorn. It could be dressing.

• 32:15Bethenny Frankel?

  It could be all these things. So they said, no, we're paying all this money. We want to own the brand. I said, why? Like, because Grey Goose never did jeans or any of this other stuff. It's just a name owned by a liquor company and all they can do with it is liquor. So I said, why would, you don't need the other stuff. You'll have to, you'll have to trust me as a partner. That I'm not going to exploit these other categories and ruin your brand, but I'll have to trust you as a partner. That you're not going to ruin the brand and destroy what I want to build. So that was a concept. So I didn't have to know anything to know that. It was just like an idea in my head. So then you go and, you know, listen to all the experts and crowdsource information. And then you sign the dotted line and you make the decision. Never knew anything about anything I do.

• 32:53Ed Mylett?

  Wow. That blows my mind and it makes it more impressive to me.

• 32:57Bethenny Frankel?

  Nothing, not a book, not a podcast, not a TV show, not in anything, not, and I'm like, and I do tons of deals and have amazing ideas. And I'm running circles around people, but nothing, knew nothing about any of this stuff. Didn't even pay attention in college.

• 33:12Ed Mylett?

  So do, me either, by the way, uh, how has that changed your perspective on successful people? So for me, I, this is really powerful. I actually hope this becomes one of the clips, what we're, I'm about to ask you. Cause I'm really interested in your, your feedback on this. I really thought, by the way, there are brilliant people in the world, no question about it. There are, there are people that are.

• 33:34Bethenny Frankel?

  Literally brilliant. We, I am not one of them.

• 33:36Ed Mylett?

  Nor am I. And, um, by the way, you're making me feel better.

• 33:39Bethenny Frankel?

  You know, I'm just kidding. I could see that about you.

• 33:43Ed Mylett?

  It only takes about four minutes to figure it out. But what has surprised me overall is neither are most of the people. In other words, most people that I've met that are successful. On the surface impressed me less, yet as I got to know them, I was more impressed because they won with just average abilities and skills. And so I'm, take someone in that's, I'm picturing like a young woman or man listening to this right now, they're 25, they're 30 years old, that's still young to me. And they're like, I'm intimidated. And I think this is a huge factor. I'm intimidated to get into that room to make a deal. I'm intimidated, afraid to start a business,

• 34:24Ed Mylett?

  even have a conversation. I don't know anything either. These people are smart. I have found, Mark's an exception. I think Mark actually is a brilliant Cuban. You mentioned Cuban earlier.

• 34:34Bethenny Frankel?

  Very, very smart. Kevin, by the way, is very smart.

• 34:37Ed Mylett?

  He's a very, very smart guy, but I think in a different way. Barbara's been on my show as well. And I mean this, I, Barbara's won, being, she's a very smart woman. But I, I don't, I don't even think Barbara would tell you that she's got a, she's, she's not, she didn't win because of intellect, right? She, she won because of hard work and timing.

• 34:58Bethenny Frankel?

  It's all different. Yeah. No, I'll tell you something. Mark is extremely smart, but also very well read. Like he, he does a lot of research. He knows what the hell he's talking about. Um, I gotta tell you, Kevin's, I was walking in thinking the way that you think about Kevin, that he's smart and he's successful. Kevin's really, I'm shocked by how smart he is. He, he's really smart in the right way.

• 35:20Ed Mylett?

  Is he smart or is he experienced after 30 or 40 years of being a business?

• 35:23Bethenny Frankel?

  Yes, but, but, uh, both. But I think Mark's a little of that. But yes, it's a different story. But yeah, but, but the way that someone's mind, listen, Kevin's no spring chicken. He's there, it's not the same as Shark Tank. This show is us in there, 10 hours, brains fried, and him just, it's being on. It's not just experience, it's being on and quick. Kevin is like that, Mark is like that, I am like that. I can't say, I don't, I can't name five other people like that.

• 35:51Ed Mylett?

  Okay, but I do. And I think what you just said is really important. I think one of the six, I've never said this out loud in my life. I think one of the successful traits in people is their ability at some point to process information and make decisions more quickly.

• 36:03Bethenny Frankel?

  Exactly. Decisiveness.

• 36:04Ed Mylett?

  Decisiveness. Do you agree with that?

• 36:06Bethenny Frankel?

  A hundred percent. But I'm not decisive about, I, I will be in the, I'm, I only sweat the small stuff about like, uh, a purse or spaghetti, or what are we eating, or what are we doing, where are we going, what's the hotel? Like that is, that's muck. But in like real Two seconds.

• 36:22Ed Mylett?

  Me too. I feel like this. That's I actually think take an NFL quarterback like what makes them better? Their ability to process information faster and call a shot.

• 36:31Bethenny Frankel?

  Because they're playing chess and checkers at the same exact time.

• 36:33Ed Mylett?

  And I think that's business. I actually think that's life like, and I also tell me if you agree with this. I'm okay if I didn't even make the right decision because I'm just going to execute my plan, whatever it is, even if it's a flawed plan so aggressively.

• 36:45Bethenny Frankel?

  By the way, yes, that's what you said earlier that I forgot to respond to is that when you're failing and when you, you know, winning, when things are hard, when you're at your low, that's when you learn everything because that's when it's like you've got that car. And you, you've got a loose horse or whatever the analogy is, and you have got to like, hold the steering wheel, but not too tight because you're going to blow it all up and not too loose where you're walking away. You've got to steer like, that's how a person like deals with a cancellation crisis. Like, how do you deal with that? Like, and you will learn so much. And if you treat it like a gift, which it is, then that's where all the gold is. That's where all the gems of a successful person are in that time when it's like the rubber meeting the road. That's when you will learn everything.

• 37:29Bethenny Frankel?

  So people have to pay more attention to that stuff. Sometimes I don't want it to happen, but when that's when I get awake and like lit and like strategic and really combat mode.

• 37:39Ed Mylett?

  Very good. What have you, what, what surprised you about doing the show with these entrepreneurs? Is there a common line? I mean, the one I watched, they were three different episodes, very different businesses. But is there?

• 37:51Bethenny Frankel?

  You live for the show. There are some, there are people a hundred something million dollar businesses that are like not knowing what to do. And also when we first sat down, I mean, I didn't know what they should do. Like you gotta get granular and think about it and pull the taffy and then it came clear every time. For some reason, we never, we never weren't totally resolved and didn't give a great verdict. I think it'll be interesting to hear what the people say on the other side. I think in most cases they'll be thrilled. Unlike Shark Tank, which is a different show where they're like pissed they didn't get an investment or something. I think they'll mostly be happy. Um, what have I learned?

• 38:27Bethenny Frankel?

  That it's case law, that the more, you know, all business is case law. You do something one time, it works, you have that in your tool chest. Oh, you do some part of that that failed or was just not the best. That's part of your tool chest. Now take yourself on to the next one. Case law, remember that happened and the other thing happened. Let's do that this way. So the more deals you're making to your point about Kevin, the more interactions you're having with different types of people. Uh, the more business negotiations and weird tentacles and little deal points that come up that are so weird in contracts that you deal with. It's case law. So you keep taking that with you and that's how you become older and wiser. That's why there's the college debate.

• 39:06Bethenny Frankel?

  And that's why I think if you're not going to get a masters or, you know, your MBA or be a doctor. I'm not, I'm not pro college for the, for the debt and all of it. I'm really not.

• 39:17Ed Mylett?

  I've moved there. It's funny you say that because I've moved there lately and both my kids are in college right now and they know that I feel so I'm glad they're there. They're both flourishing, but more.

• 39:27Bethenny Frankel?

  But it's also could be purgatory. Sometimes you might not think your kids are ready or you want a place to put them. You're not ready to jam them right into life.

• 39:32Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, but, but more and more I'm with you. Walk out of there with a couple hundred grand of debt or just get into business and start something or get a job and learn something.

• 39:40Bethenny Frankel?

  That's it.

• 39:40Ed Mylett?

  You could start a business on. How is your, we're going to run out of time. I want to ask you a couple more things. I've really enjoyed this. I like, I like that it's, it's the intensity level. Like there's no fluff with you, which I really, really love. Like there's like legit zero fluff and I'm.

• 39:56Bethenny Frankel?

  No fan.

• 39:57Ed Mylett?

  No, I love it. And there's, there'll be no editing here, which will be easy too. But I'm curious if your idea of success has changed. And I just love people. So I picture this young girl heading out to LA. I'm going to be an actress. It's 1992. You end up nannying and you know, you know, you're like on the, your showrunner, whatever the heck you were doing.

• 40:20Bethenny Frankel?

  Don't forget major.

• 40:21Ed Mylett?

  That's right. That's true too. That was big time.

• 40:24Bethenny Frankel?

  It's massive. I got a free salad every day. Anybody who goes there knows they don't do that anymore. Like an $18 salad every day and $8 an hour salary. Salads, salaries, new book.

• 40:34Ed Mylett?

  I know it's, I know it's your story, but when you hear that, isn't that sort of mind blowing like? Like it was a big deal to get a free salad. It's like, oh, it wasn't a hundred years ago. It probably.

• 40:45Bethenny Frankel?

  No, it wasn't. It was amazing. I'm proud of myself. It's really nice. It's true. It's really, really nice um to go do it, but it's just like blood, sweat and tears. Just do it. Nike had the best slogan in the history of mankind. Just do it.

• 40:59Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, but is your idea of what success looks like changed? Mine has like, I used to real. It's so easy. Once you have some money to go, ah, you know, that's not the only way to be successful. Try living without some and that's hard. I get that. But like I have a sister who's she's diabetic. She's my middle sister Andrea. She she is legally blind now from diabetes. She can't drive, but she can see a little bit. But but she's a school teacher and she helps these little kids every single day. And she's doing literally what you said, like her jam is nurturing and teaching and loving on people.

• 41:37Ed Mylett?

  I feel like she's more successful than I am. My idea of what to me, success has become whatever your vision is for your life. You become it, whatever it is. And to me, that's success. Your blueprint for your life. And you end up building a life that matches it. To me, that's success regardless of what it is.

• 41:55Bethenny Frankel?

  Yeah, but yes, but you may not, you may write those things down. And then when you realize that they may not be exactly what you thought they were. So you have to get more specific. So it could be fame, money, family, right? But then if you get more specific, so for me. I only do things that I want to do, that I love to do, that I'm inspired by doing. And I have to be very strict because people are pulling me in every different direction because I can do anything that I want in business or entertainment. And I really can pretty much, there's nothing I can't do. There's nobody I can't get on the phone and I.

• 42:34Bethenny Frankel?

  Don't let the tail wag the dog anymore because I want to be with my daughter all of the time that she's not in school and that I have her. That's my personal choice and that's the way that I live. I've never had a nanny and I, I love that. That's not coming back that time. So I don't want to go off and do something that might take months away or kill myself doing this. I want to do exactly what I want to do. So everything that I'm doing in business that you see me doing, it's because I want to be there. I was making a lot of money doing housewives and I chose to do money court. I did that solely. I didn't know what they were going to pay me. I

• 43:15Bethenny Frankel?

  just said I like the concept. I want to do that. I, the first year of the podcast, just be, I ended up spending money on that podcast because the deal was upside down and I didn't like the way it was being handled and I spent money the first year. It cost me money. I didn't care. I knew I was good at it. I knew it would be successful. Now it's, it's a ton of money, but I do things only that I, because I want to do them, but not because of the money or not the money. I wanted to go down to Florida and do business conversations with Kevin O'Leary for 10 days and help small businesses. Oh, not small and large to help businesses. I wanted to sit down and talk and reflect about the housewives and talk to amazing, interesting people on my podcast. I just want to do it. So I'm doing, I want around and talk about eyeshadow on Instagram. And so I became

• 43:59Bethenny Frankel?

  successful at it. So I just do exactly what I want to do.

• 44:02Ed Mylett?

  But do you think to give advice to somebody who's up and coming, they probably need to do some things they don't want to do to get where they need to get? Do you agree with that?

• 44:08Bethenny Frankel?

  A hundred percent, but that's the point. I used to go, I am the least social person. I used to go to anything that came in an envelope because that would be currency to go there and connect and give my card and get on, you know, try to be a chef or try to sell my healthy cookies or try to whatever. I hustled so crazy. You have no idea. I went to, I hate going out of my house. I went to everything. I didn't even know I hated going because the goal was so strong that it wasn't an option. Not until I got to have the choice that I realized I hate going to anything. Like you don't understand. I've, I didn't go to Ascot in, in London when the horse named Frankel, named after my father. Won 14 out of 14, its final race, won at Ascot and the Queen was there. I didn't go.

• 44:51Bethenny Frankel?

  They invited me to go. I didn't go to the Super Bowl when my fiance's parents best friend, Robert Kraft, won. I was like, I'd rather you be home with Bryn eating wings. So, trust me, getting here hustling and going to all those things I had to go to and be bull**** and take my picture was all part of the hustle. Hated that.

• 45:09Ed Mylett?

  I love that. Me too. I'm like room service on the road if I can. Like, I'm nuts like that. All right, last question. It's kind of open-ended. And by the way, everybody, before I ask that, make sure that you go watch Money Court, Wednesdays, 10:00 PM CNBC. Pick up Businesses Personal. I'm serious. And if you're not following Bethany, it's a really entertaining and informative follow on Instagram. It's really, really good stuff. So, just broad question. I just like asking somebody this. Not that it would probably happen, but let's assume it did. You left the studio right now. You're like, hey, I'm gonna go grab a Starbucks before I get back to the house, whatever it is. And someone runs into you at that Starbucks. They say, holy crap, it's Bethany Frankel. I am working somewhere I don't want to be right now. Or I'm in a relationship I don't want to be in. I'm not where I want to be.

• 45:53Ed Mylett?

  And I know you've been many places in your life you didn't want to be. What would you advise me to do? Is there some advice you'd give me? And by the way, I get asked these questions all the time. It's so difficult when you don't know somebody's situation. But I do feel like if I didn't ask you that with millions of people listening to this, who all really were excited you were gonna be on the show today, I'd make a mistake because I know they'd want me to ask you. I'm not where I want to be. How do I, is there a first step, a thought, a process that I need to undertake to begin to change my life?

• 46:27Bethenny Frankel?

  I would say if you don't know what to do, sit still.

• 46:32Bethenny Frankel?

  To be in the present, to meditate, to give your side, the inclination is to activate and stress and think and work the problem. I would say to try to breathe and step away from the problem because all the best ideas come when... You're relaxed when, you know, all my good ideas come from sleep to wake. When you're like just waking up, it's like boom, I shoot out of bed like a cannon with the ideas and the texts. I'm that person who would text you, I don't give a if it was Monday. I would text you at 6 a.m. on Monday and you don't have to answer that, obviously, but I would, that's when I would text you.

• 47:06Ed Mylett?

  It's funny you say that, just a second at last. I met Wayne Dyer and I'm sure you remember Wayne Dyer. Do you remember who that is? He's a big thought leader. You know, you don't. Okay.

• 47:15Bethenny Frankel?

  I've heard of the name.

• 47:16Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, anyway, when I met him, he said, hey, when you wake up in the morning, or if you wake up in the middle of the night with an idea, just start writing it down. Because that's some divine inspiration from waking you and to get quiet when you're concerned or when you're worried. And that's exactly what I do. I get away from problems and I try to see if I can come back to them with a different perspective. I really liked today. I kind of knew it.

• 47:37Bethenny Frankel?

  Thank you. Uh huh. Thank you.

• 47:39Ed Mylett?

  I kind of knew it and I really loved the show. Like, I don't watch much TV. I don't watch, I have a TV show and I don't watch a lot of it. And yours was entertaining. Like, it flew by. I'm like, man, I'm gonna watch the other ones. I have to tune in to see it. So, you guys, you wanted her on. I got her. Bethany Frankel. Share it with the planet. Bethany, thanks for being here today. Everybody, make sure you get Bethany's book. Go get The Power of One More. Keep growing the fastest growing show in the world. God bless you all. Max out your life.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.