127: How Running and Community Saved Mitch Ammons From Addiction

Mitch Ammons didn’t just get sober—he rebuilt his life with relentless grit. In this episode, we unpack his journey from addiction and rehab to becoming an ultra-marathoner, successful real estate agent, and living proof of what’s possible with the Go One More mindset. Mitch opens up about the lowest points in his life, the power of the 12-step program, and how fitness and community gave him purpose. This is a story of redemption, discipline, and choosing the hard path forward—every single day. CHAPTERS: 01:19 Introducing Mitch Ammons 05:05 The Ultra Marathon Experience 15:23 The Speed Project Adventure 27:34 Post-Ultra Marathon Recovery 33:53 Early Signs of Addiction 44:20 The Struggle with Opiate Addiction 48:02 Rehab and Relapse Cycle 59:09 The Turning Point in 2015 01:01:19 First True Attempt at the 12 Steps 01:07:12 Discovering Fitness and Running 01:09:42 The Journey to Becoming a Competitive Runner 01:16:49 Family Support and Personal Growth 01:24:09 Reflecting on the Journey and Future Aspirations CONNECT: Become a BPN member FOR FREE - Unlock 20% off FOR LIFE https://bpn.team/member FOLLOW: IG: instagram.com/nickbarefitness/ YT: youtube.com/@nickbarefitness Keep up with Mitch: IG: @mitchammons

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Going into sophomore year of high school, I think most weekends were drinking cocaine and some pills. I had a great time even into my first year of college, and then I didn't. And then it got really bad. It went so fast. My opiate addiction, I think like that. I was a daily user and I was a daily, all-day user. I couldn't go through the night without getting sick. So in the morning, whenever I wake up, I'm dry-heaving. I'm probably vomiting. My stomach is in knots. I've got the body aches and I'm cold sweating until I can take that first hit, and then I'm good. I thought this is how it was gonna be forever. I truly thought I would never figure it out.

• 0:39Nick Bare?

  So in 2015, what changed? What started the process of sobriety?

• 0:46Speaker 00

  I went into treatment for the sixth time. It was my first time doing it truly, honestly, no reservation. That's the only difference, is that I actually applied myself. I can't, I don't know, I can't explain it. It worked. It truly works. My career, sobriety, every single thing that I've kind of accomplished has been small steps in the right direction, just one more time. Just like today, the most I can do is just one step in the right direction, that's great.

• 1:19Nick Bare?

  All right, today on the podcast, we have Mitch Amens. And Mitch, this has been a long time coming. I don't know how we haven't sat down yet, up until this point, in our personal relationship and professional relationship.

• 1:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:34Nick Bare?

  So officially, welcome to the show.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  It's funny, I think the first time I ever talked to you, before your sub-five mile, you had asked me about this podcast, like 2019.

• 1:45Nick Bare?

  Oh, really?

• 1:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:46Nick Bare?

  Is that the first time we ever met in person?

• 1:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. We met at, no, we had met at the track a couple of times prior to your five-minute mile.

• 1:54Nick Bare?

  Briefly.

• 1:55Speaker 00

  Yeah. Austin High Track.

• 1:56Nick Bare?

  And then you paced me for my first

• 2:00Speaker 00

  Sub-five.

• 2:00Nick Bare?

  Sub-five-minute mile.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  At Zoker.

• 2:02Nick Bare?

  And you were just cruising. I remember that.

• 2:04Speaker 00

  I mean, I was...

• 2:05Nick Bare?

  I was in the pain cave, and you were speaking to me casually as I was wheezing

• 2:11Speaker 00

  I think I was yelling.

• 2:12Nick Bare?

  Towards the end.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:14Nick Bare?

  Dude, I never will forget that run, because...

• 2:19Nick Bare?

  I went to a dark place and I collapsed at the end, the middle of the road.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:24Nick Bare?

  And we filmed all of this, you know, I'm in the middle of the road, sitting down, just trying to collect my thoughts and figure out where I'm at. All these cars are driving around me and honking.

• 2:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:34Nick Bare?

  And we included that in the video and everyone gives me crap for it in the video. But I was so out of it that I didn't know what was going on.

• 2:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, I've been there and I've been in the middle of traffic and just been like, I can't even, I don't have enough energy to care.

• 2:48Nick Bare?

  You just drained it.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 2:50Nick Bare?

  Alright, so there's a lot of stuff I want to cover today.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:53Nick Bare?

  But your lifetime PR in the marathon, two hours, 16 minutes.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  And one second.

• 2:59Nick Bare?

  And one second.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 3:02Nick Bare?

  Your half marathon PR, one hour, five minutes, 31 seconds.

• 3:07Speaker 00

  10428.

• 3:09Nick Bare?

  Oh, really? When was that?

• 3:10Speaker 00

  That was, uh, a year ago in February, I think.

• 3:15Nick Bare?

  10428?

• 3:16Speaker 00

  10428.

• 3:18Nick Bare?

  What, what pace is that?

• 3:20Speaker 00

  It's, uh, like 453.

• 3:24Nick Bare?

  That's incredible. Incredible. Cause your marathon PR is roughly a 5'11", 5'12"?

• 3:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly, 5'11".

• 3:34Nick Bare?

  Minute per mile pace?

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 3:36Nick Bare?

  And you're a marathon runner, recently turned ultra marathoner.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:41Nick Bare?

  Tell me about that.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  Ooh, um, I actually remember in the middle of the race, Tony was like, I think you're an ultra runner now. And I'm like, no, no, no, I just want to be a washed up marathoner. And he goes, isn't that what an ultra runner is? And I was like, great point. Um, but yeah, yeah, I did my first, I guess I did the BPN 50 miler a year ago, but.

• 4:02Nick Bare?

  You won it?

• 4:03Speaker 00

  I did win it. Um, and that was really fun. That was kind of my intro. And then I went all in in this last man standing and that was, uh, that was probably one of the greatest, if not the greatest experience in running that I have ever experienced.

• 4:19Nick Bare?

  So the last man standing, BPN, Gilen World Ultra, you did 30 hours?

• 4:22Speaker 00

  30 hours, uh, 126 miles.

• 4:25Nick Bare?

  126 miles.

• 4:28Nick Bare?

  Before that, the longest you ever ran was

• 4:31Speaker 00

  Fifty.

• 4:32Nick Bare?

  The fifty miler.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  And before that, twenty six point two.

• 4:35Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 4:37Nick Bare?

  What is it that's drawing you away from marathons to ultras? Because in this last two years, you've done the VPN, survived the night fifty miler. Then we did the speed project together, which I'd love to talk about your experience there.

• 4:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:57Nick Bare?

  And then the Golden River Ultra, you know, one hundred twenty six miles. What's the draw? And why now?

• 5:05Speaker 00

  I hate to say it, but the vibes. Like, it's just incredible out there. Everyone's, I don't, it's just, in the marathon, it's, and it doesn't seem like it'd be quick, but it's just quick. Like, you're not out there getting to know anyone. You're not out there enjoying it, really. I mean, it's twenty six point two miles of like, you're on from the gun. In ultra, there's just so many ups and downs. You're getting to know, at least in my experience, you're getting to know the people out there because you're out there a long time. And there's plenty of time. I feel like you can line up on the starting line and it, nothing really matters. Like, if you have a stomach ache, doesn't matter. If you're tired, doesn't matter. Because you have literally the next twenty four hours to work it out.

• 5:47Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Like, I was, my biggest fear in races is like stomach issues. But I'm like, in an ultra, it literally doesn't matter. You can pull over to the side or you can take your break and then keep going again. I think it is, and then I guess I'll get into like the challenge. Like, obviously, that's a huge part of it.

• 6:07Speaker 00

  The marathon is, for sure, challenging, right? I'd say it's more the training that's challenging. The race is kind of like the victory lap, sort of. Because as long as you've done the training, aside from like, things out of the ordinary, you're gonna have a good race, right? Like, the training can indicate how your race is gonna go. In an ultra, I don't think the training can indicate at all how the race is gonna go. Because there's so many different things that can go wrong, ups and downs. You can be, I don't, obviously, there's a fitness aspect to running ultras, but I don't think the fittest person is the winner. Nine times out of ten. Like, there's so much more that goes into it. And I have, I'd never had to push that hard in my life.

• 6:51Speaker 00

  And I've pushed very, very hard in a lot of different things.

• 6:56Speaker 00

  But just moments in there where I couldn't even take another step and just knowing that I just have to take one more step and then one more step and then one more step and you know, try and do the things that'll bring me back, like eat and drink and then you come back from it and then you keep going again.

• 7:08Nick Bare?

  That's actually a really good observation. The marathon is a very individual sport.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 7:16Nick Bare?

  You know, like the prep and the build and the process can be community driven.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 7:22Nick Bare?

  Where one of my first introductions to you and Jeff and Bat City was Wednesday mornings in Austin, rotating every other week between the East Side Loop and then Austin High Track. And the community, the environment, that for me drew me in.

• 7:39Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:40Nick Bare?

  Significantly. But then the closer you get to race day and the race day itself, it is all you.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 7:48Nick Bare?

  Which I think has pros and cons to it, but the ultra spaces are different because it is truly this community.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:57Nick Bare?

  Uh, like you said, vibes.

• 7:58Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 7:59Nick Bare?

  And you're doing this thing collectively together.

• 8:01Speaker 00

  Yeah. I feel like everyone out there in an ultra wants everyone to continue to go. Like, at least my experience was like even Kim and Kendall, when I did end up dropping, Kim was like, "Come on, time to go, let's go." You know, like trying to get me to come back out there.

• 8:19Nick Bare?

  Encouraging the other person.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  I can't tell you how encouraging Kim and both Kendall were throughout the whole race. Like I had, Kim especially, I had moments where I was like, I would pass him or he would pass me and I'd be like, you know, just checking in, "How you doing?" And he'd be like, "I'm great." And I'd be like, "I can't fucking think or step or do anything. I can hardly see because I'm so exhausted." And then he would like talk to me for a little bit and kind of just tell me like, "You know, there's ups and downs and you can bounce back and like just, just get through this one and little things like that." And I can't tell you how encouraging and how much of a difference that made for me. Like I almost quit. I think there were three different times that I considered quitting. Um, and because of the people out there encouraging me, I didn't.

• 8:58Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 8:58Speaker 00

  And that was literally it. The only reason. I think when I did actually quit, I mean, obviously we can, I'll probably touch on that later, but um,

• 9:09Speaker 00

  The fact that there was nobody out there anymore, I had a lot less motivation to get back out there. Like, it was so much easier and way more fun with the collective group. It was, it was, as miserable as it was, it was enjoyable the whole time.

• 9:22Nick Bare?

  Yeah. As an elite marathon runner, what was your perception of the ultra marathon before getting into it? Did you, did you view the ultra marathon space and community as true athletes prior to experiencing your first ultra?

• 9:44Speaker 00

  I do think I considered them, I consider ultra runners absolutely like great athletes. I just think it's so different from running marathons.

• 9:54Nick Bare?

  It's very different.

• 9:55Speaker 00

  Especially like at the level I'm running marathons. I don't, I don't, I did well in the ultra, but I don't think being a good marathoner is why I did well. I think it's different. I think it's two separate things. But yeah, I think I probably looked at it as like, oh, it's a hobby, you know? Until I did one, and then I realized there's, there's nothing hobby about it. It's hard.

• 10:18Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  It's really hard.

• 10:19Nick Bare?

  I, I think that is the, uh, the stigma around ultra running from people who haven't done an ultra marathon is because running an ultra, the best way I've, I've, I've seen it described is it is literally problem solving.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:38Nick Bare?

  You are problem solving the entire way through.

• 10:40Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 10:41Nick Bare?

  Physical problems, mental issues, your, your mind and body is trying to quit and stop.

• 10:48Speaker 00

  Multiple problems at the same time.

• 10:49Nick Bare?

  You're trying to stay on top of, of fuel and food and your toes and your feet and all these things. So for an elite athlete outside of the ultra space looking in, you're watching these athletes, these runners eating a slice of pizza or a quesadilla, you know, throughout the day in the middle of a race. And it's really easy to say or assume, oh, that's not what elite athletics looks like. But the reality is, it is, it's just so different.

• 11:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:18Nick Bare?

  It's so different.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  Totally. And I think that... Uh, prior to the race, I had all, I went to the grocery store and got all different stuff. Not knowing why or what, I just like, but looking back at the race and coming back into the little camp, I'm so glad I did because there, it wasn't like, what are you hungry for? It's like, what can you stand?

• 11:37Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  Like, what can you even manage to get down? And I'm glad I had options because there was really weird things and different things at different times that I was able to get down and, um, but yeah, just on top of what you said, it's, it's one problem after another that you're, and preventative even like my feet. My feet were great the whole time, but I was adamant about washing them, changing my socks, changing my shoes and letting the wet shoes dry. Uh, and I mean, the 50 miler, my feet were messed up, like completely trashed. Uh, that, I was actually probably the thing that hurt the worst were my feet. Um, but this was complete, my feet were probably the best out of everything.

• 12:14Nick Bare?

  Yeah. During the 50 miler, the course wasn't as groomed?

• 12:17Speaker 00

  No. I just, yeah, I think that we're, what were you gonna say? Sorry.

• 12:22Nick Bare?

  I was just gonna say that potentially, I mean, were your feet getting wet during the 50 miler?

• 12:27Speaker 00

  They were wet. They were both soaked both races.

• 12:29Nick Bare?

  Oh, both races?

• 12:30Speaker 00

  I mean, I'm a sweater.

• 12:32Nick Bare?

  You're also pouring, we have so many photos of you pouring so much water all over you, which could be it.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  I think, uh, I don't think anyone would have made it without those ice coolers.

• 12:43Nick Bare?

  No, so many people mentioned that.

• 12:46Speaker 00

  It was like a race within the race, like,

• 12:48Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 12:49Speaker 00

  It's just get to the water cooler and then it was like a refresh. I, I remember thinking a couple of times, like, if I don't get to this ice cooler in, in a second, I, I'll have to stop. I can't, I'm so hot. I cannot do this. And then it would appear. Uh, this is kinda funny. It took me until my 30th lap to realize that the coolers were at the mile markers. And the whole ti, is that right?

• 13:14Nick Bare?

  To be honest, I don't know. Tony, Tony put those out.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  They were at the mile markers. I, I figured it out. And that's why they were too close together because we had it for one loop and then it was, but yeah, they were at the mile markers and I wish I would have known because I used someone else's watch and then I messed my watch up and every, the whole time I'm like, I just wish I knew where one mile was, two mile was.

• 13:33Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 13:34Speaker 00

  But I did it 30 times, you'd think I'd figure it out, but it wasn't till the last lap I realized, "Wait, the coolers are at a mile."

• 13:40Nick Bare?

  Well, who took lead on building out your guys' campsite? Because your guys' campsite was...

• 13:43Speaker 00

  I did.

• 13:44Nick Bare?

  That was a five-star...

• 13:47Speaker 00

  It was.

• 13:48Nick Bare?

  Privately owned boutique hotel.

• 13:50Speaker 00

  It really was, yeah, it was nice. I was adamant about being the first one there, I wasn't the first one, true it was, but we were right behind him. And I knew it was gonna make a difference to have our space in the right spot and have it comfortable and have a tarp to sit on to keep the grass out. I'm really glad I did it, I will do the same thing next year because it was awesome.

• 14:10Nick Bare?

  I mean, to provide people insight into what that looked like, I walked up, there was a grill, there was an espresso maker, there was a cold plunge, a mobile cold plunge, all of the snacks, all of the food, you could've lived there for probably like, three months.

• 14:31Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, yeah.

• 14:32Nick Bare?

  How did you guys power the espresso maker?

• 14:36Speaker 00

  We just had like, large power banks.

• 14:38Nick Bare?

  Hmm, okay.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  Like, like box-sized power banks, yeah.

• 14:41Nick Bare?

  Yeah, you guys were ready.

• 14:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, we were ready.

• 14:43Nick Bare?

  And it was a vibe, you see, I would go over there and just hang out in there. It was cool, there was food.

• 14:47Speaker 00

  Oh man.

• 14:48Nick Bare?

  It was loungy, it was nice.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  It was nice, and it was, honestly, like, under there, the little breeze, like, it saved us, the shade under there, it was really nice.

• 14:57Nick Bare?

  So before we started recording, you mentioned that the Last Man Standing Ultra and the Speed Project were two of the greatest things you've done in your life?

• 15:08Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 15:09Nick Bare?

  Can you kind of describe why?

• 15:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, and to clarify, not done in my life as far as running, but like, something, two of the coolest things I've done in my life at all, like, overall. I don't really know, I mean, the Speed Project was unbelievable, like, I think it was our team, it was the people that we had in our vans, or in our Jeeps, and in our RVs. Every one of us is a go-getter. Every one of us is a team player, encouraging incredible athletes. And then we just were all great friends. And you know, honestly, I didn't know Lucy. I guess, I don't even think I knew Joey. I don't think I knew really. Didn't know Ken. But either way, like after that first day, like we all clicked.

• 15:55Nick Bare?

  It was very, very seamless.

• 15:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was seamless. And I, I think, I think that's what did it. Like I am a community-driven person. I mean, I obviously like running and competing, but I would not do it if it wasn't for the community. If I didn't have people to run with pretty much every single run, I probably wouldn't do it. If I had to train alone, I probably wouldn't do it. I do it for the friends, the community, the, the people. And then fitness and competition is like a byproduct and a bonus. But yeah, I don't, I just gotta attribute the people. I mean, like our team was so cool.

• 16:33Nick Bare?

  It was so much fun.

• 16:33Speaker 00

  Also, like, and this, I, I try and touch on this every time, but like, you're media guys. Like, they're the greatest dudes I've ever met. Every single person that you hire is incredible. Always a great friend of mine. And supportive and having a great time as well. And they're fricking go-getters. Like, you have the athletes, go-getters, but then you have the media team and the crew that are literally also go-getters. Like, up all night with us, working just as hard as we are.

• 16:59Nick Bare?

  Yeah, we, uh, we set the same standard for

• 17:05Speaker 00

  For sure you do.

• 17:05Nick Bare?

  For who is a part of this organization, this team. Whether you're an athlete, whether you're fulfilling orders in the warehouse, you're, you're filming videos, you're on the leadership team, anything. I believe that if you establish your core values, your purpose, and your goals, and people align with those things, that is the only way to get to where you want to be.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:29Nick Bare?

  And win and succeed. And if you allow one person or you You flex, you bend and you allow one person on that team who doesn't meet that standard. It takes everyone from being an A player to a B player instantaneously.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:46Nick Bare?

  It's by having one wrong person. So I appreciate you recognizing that because I put a lot of time into that.

• 17:51Speaker 00

  I've recognized it. And I also like the new guys that I meet and kind of get to know. I'm like, you should feel really good that you're here because you were handpicked, like handpicked.

• 18:01Nick Bare?

  Yep.

• 18:01Speaker 00

  And I truly believe that goes as far as the athletes, the employees, just what you said is what I believed. I'm glad that you have confirmed that. But yeah, I don't know. Speed project, greatest thing ever. I mean, it was also very, very hard, very, very challenging.

• 18:18Speaker 00

  Getting lost and facing like danger was so exhilarating.

• 18:24Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 00

  I love that shit.

• 18:26Nick Bare?

  I mean, every part about the speed project was so unique and different.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:32Nick Bare?

  I mean, for anyone who isn't aware, it is a race that starts at the pier.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Santa Monica.

• 18:40Nick Bare?

  In Santa Monica. So LA and then you have to get to Vegas. The welcome to Las Vegas sign as fast as possible. There's no route. There's no rules. There's no spectators. You just get there as fast as possible with the team. And we had six people and we established our route and we were off. And just like the energy, were you at the pier?

• 19:08Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 19:09Nick Bare?

  Dude, the energy at the pier.

• 19:10Speaker 00

  It was unreal.

• 19:11Nick Bare?

  Was unreal. Cops were showing up. They were trying to shut it down and they kick off the race. Everyone sprints in all the directions. It was pure chaos.

• 19:20Speaker 00

  It was wild. It was.

• 19:21Nick Bare?

  And you go from being around thousands of people to very quickly, I was running in the dark by myself up this hill.

• 19:28Speaker 00

  Right.

• 19:29Nick Bare?

  I think you took the first leg through the mountains, right?

• 19:32Speaker 00

  Yes, I did.

• 19:33Nick Bare?

  In the trail.

• 19:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:34Nick Bare?

  I did not want that because all I kept thinking about was like mountain lions coming after me.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  I kinda like, like I knew there were gonna be dogs and, and mountain lions or different things and I'm like, I don't even care. I'm going all out and I'm running as fast as I can and if I encounter something, it'll make for a good story. But yeah, I, I knew that that was, and especially when we kinda got it more remote, like that, that shit was kinda scary.

• 19:58Nick Bare?

  It was, yeah. Were there, was there any like, few moments that really stand out from that entire experience that, that you took away or you'll remember forever?

• 20:13Speaker 00

  I loved when we were lost. Like I, I knew-

• 20:16Nick Bare?

  I loved it, but I also hated it.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, I remember looking at you.

• 20:18Nick Bare?

  I was stressed.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, you were. And I remember like sitting back there like, this isn't good. But no, I mean, like, I knew we were fine. I knew we were safe. I knew we would figure it out. And it was just kinda fun. Like, it was like, problem solving. Like, that's what we were doing. Uh, we were lost and we had to figure it out. Um, I, I also, I learned something very, very valuable. Uh, probably more valuable than anything I've ever learned in running. And that's that, when you bonk, you can come back from it. Like, if you can eat and drink, you can come back. Uh, I learned, and it, and it, what it proved to me, there were times at the Speed Project, um, one time in particular, it was right, right when we kinda hit that dead end and had to go to powerline early. Uh, and I was like, I can't take another

• 21:00Speaker 00

  step. I can't, I cannot run anymore. Um, I ate, uh, a cup of noodles and, uh, like a, a BLT or something. And 45 minutes later, and I, it was like, I was brand new. And I was, I, it blew my mind because I thought there was no way I could finish. I thought, I'm gonna be the first guy to quit. Um, and then I came back from it. And so I learned, even in the marathon, even in whatever, the importance of fueling. It, it, it is literally the most important thing in running. And if you fuel properly, you can run forever.

• 21:34Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 21:34Speaker 00

  Uh, I learned that in the Speed Project and I learned that in the Go One More Ultra. Uh, when I quit at the Go One More Ultra, I, I, I feel like it was more of a mental thing. Um, obviously, my legs were trashed, but they got trashed very early on. Um, and then it was just like, it just sucks. Like, my legs just hurt, but I can still go. Um, it's the fuel that, that makes it or breaks it. It is, and so I did. I learned that in the Speed Project and it kind of- It taught me that like I can run anything if I can train and fuel. Like any race, any distance, any speed, you know, within reason. We can all do it with training and fueling.

• 22:15Nick Bare?

  That's part of the the problem solving.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:17Nick Bare?

  Strategy of all these races and efforts. And that's why I harp on it and preach it so much.

• 22:24Speaker 00

  It is, yeah.

• 22:25Nick Bare?

  Is I I believe that is one variable we can control.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  It is.

• 22:29Nick Bare?

  And when we're faced with problems or adversity, when it comes to efforts and races like this. What is that one variable you can control? There's a few variables. It's it's fueling and it's your mind.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:42Nick Bare?

  And I I love the concept of a last man standing race like we hosted on the ranch. Because you literally have to make the decision to stop and quit.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:55Nick Bare?

  Like, what was the first? What was the first moment of that race? Where you had little inklings of, I think I'm gonna stop. How far into it?

• 23:04Speaker 00

  Um, I think the first time I thought I might quit was like around mile seventy overnight. Uh, I I had nothing left and.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  But I everyone told me, and this is really sad. They told me, don't quit in the chair. I ended up quitting in the chair, but not in mile seventy. Um, I was like, I'm just gonna go back out. I I ate, I I was a big chicken in Campbell's Chicken and Rice Soup. Because I learned at the Speed Project that cup of noodles with like nine hundred milligrams of sodium can snap me back. So I didn't have something to heat water to make the noodles off. So I just did Campbell's Chicken and Rice Soup. And I'm not kidding, like, it was disgusting because it was like lukewarm, just sitting in the tent. But uh, it brought me back, like it would bring me back. And so at mile seventy, I just chugged a chicken and rice. I chugged a thousand milligrams of electrolytes.

• 23:58Speaker 00

  And I was like, I'm gonna go back out there. I don't think I'll make it back in time. And like after the first mile, I was like, I'm back. And uh, and that happened at seventy, at like ninety. And then I had a burst at around a hundred, which uh. I don't know what happened there.

• 24:17Nick Bare?

  Is that when you were cooking like six minute miles?

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my last four miles up, leading up to a hundred, I was like, I want to be the first one back. Cause I would love to have like a, what would it be a 23 hour, 35 minute, 100 miler, right? Cause otherwise it would be 24 hours if I were to come in a little longer. I was like, yeah, I want to go for that. And I had a plan of like, probably going to quit around 100 or a little after. And then, um, yeah, we had a, I cannot believe how many people stuck in it as long as they did.

• 24:48Nick Bare?

  I know.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  We were at mile 80 and I'm looking around, I'm like, how are there so many people here?

• 24:53Nick Bare?

  That's the power of having people push you.

• 24:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is.

• 24:56Nick Bare?

  Imagine if you went out and by yourself to that, that ranch to the loop. 4.2 miles by yourself and said, I'm going to go as far as I possibly can every hour on the hour.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  I'd call myself, I'd call it 20 miles. That's probably what I'd do.

• 25:13Nick Bare?

  So you have people coming back with you every time and you're looking to your left and right and you see them stand up out of their chair. Walk over the start and finish line to restart another loop and you're like, oh, I gotta join them.

• 25:28Speaker 00

  I have a real FOMO problem. I have, it is real and it gets me in trouble sometimes because I may not should participate in something that I'm having FOMO with. But yeah, it was, it got me out of the chair a bunch of times.

• 25:43Nick Bare?

  How far do you think you could have pushed if you really had to? Could you have gone 200 miles?

• 25:49Speaker 00

  I think so. Uh, we'll find out next year.

• 25:52Nick Bare?

  Do you have a goal for next year?

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, to win. 1,000% to win. I will, I went into this race mentally prepared to run 150 miles. I had work Monday and Tuesday. It was a holiday, but you know, I don't, but anyway. I wasn't, my, my wife had been out there. There was a lot of things that I'm like, I just am having anxiety about it. I was prepared for 150. I was obviously dead when I, when I dropped. But I do think it was more mental because I had hurt worse earlier in the race. Like overnight, nothing is as bad as hurting overnight because it's freaking dark.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  I, yeah, I think I can go further and I'm going to give it a go for sure. The next one. I think I'll change a few things about my strategy as well.

• 26:33Nick Bare?

  What kind of things would you change in terms of race day execution or prep?

• 26:38Speaker 00

  Race day execution. Uh, I think I'd probably go a little slower.

• 26:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think the biggest thing is I'd go slower. I, in the beginning, it was like a shock to go as slow as we were going just because I hadn't ever prepared for it. And actually, my legs hurt in different places than they normally do when I'm running. Like, my upper quads, rather than like my lower quads by my knees is where it usually hurts. But I think going a little more conservative and then maybe a faster rep to come back for a longer rest would be ideal.

• 27:11Nick Bare?

  Are you fully recovered now, post-race?

• 27:14Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, yeah. I think, like, Tuesday, this last Tuesday, I was like, okay, finally, I feel okay.

• 27:22Nick Bare?

  Physically, mentally?

• 27:23Speaker 00

  Physically.

• 27:24Nick Bare?

  Did you have lagging kind of brain fog? Like, central nervous system?

• 27:28Speaker 00

  Central nervous system. I think that's, yes. I had like a fatigue, like a general fatigue when I would go to run. Like, my normal easy runs were much, much, much slower. And I'm like, I'm going as hard as I can, as far as like easy pace.

• 27:41Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:44Nick Bare?

  Could you sleep the few nights after the race?

• 27:46Speaker 00

  Not at all.

• 27:47Nick Bare?

  Dude, after every ultra I do, I cannot sleep for like a week.

• 27:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, horrible sleep. I didn't have a real appetite until 24 hours after I finished. So like, the next night, I was like, okay, now I'm ready to eat. I just think nervous system, it just like, I, I had my, the roots of my teeth, like the bottom of my teeth on both top and bottom, were so sensitive afterwards. Like, anything cold, anything warm, anything sweet would just like light up my teeth on the bottom. I'm like, I hope I haven't just like messed myself up forever. It's better now, though, as of like a couple of days ago.

• 28:25Nick Bare?

  Some people who have never done an effort like that don't realize what it does to parts of your body that you wouldn't expect to be taxed. You would expect your legs to be tired and have some brain fog, but the things you feel and experience post-ultra marathon are surprising.

• 28:46Speaker 00

  I'll, I was a little surprised by this. My legs, if we're just talking general leg soreness, I think I'm worse off after a like C I M downhill on those hills, after a marathon running 510 pace, my legs are just completely trashed, like quads feel like they're just done. I think worse off than in this ultra. However, it was so much more that was affected than just my legs. Like my whole body was hurting, my head and that that whole nervous system issues, some other nerve issues in my legs. But as far as like muscular soreness, I think the marathon

• 29:27Speaker 00

  is worse. Ultra is way worse in other ways.

• 29:32Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  I was worse off after the after the ultra, but talking legs marathon.

• 29:37Nick Bare?

  Do you feel these these big efforts you've done these last two years, 50 miler, 100 miler, T S P, they've reshaped the way you view fitness or physical potential in terms of achievement and what is possible?

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. I mean, I remember before the 50 miler, I was like, I had it in my head, I could never, I could not run 100 miles. There's no way.

• 30:06Nick Bare?

  I remember you saying that.

• 30:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, not a single chance that I thought I could run 100 miles. I thought I could run 50 and then after running 50, I'm like, I think I can run 100 because I learned about fueling. Like that was literally at Speed Project. After the Speed Project, I knew I could, I could run, I think I can run like a long, long ways if fueling goes well.

• 30:27Nick Bare?

  Yeah. I'm excited to see what you do next year.

• 30:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:29Nick Bare?

  I

• 30:30Speaker 00

  I am so excited for next year. I think the hype around it and the people that are going to be preparing for it, I just think it's going to be so epic.

• 30:40Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  Oh, man, yeah.

• 30:41Nick Bare?

  I want to take a quick break in this episode to let you guys know, my new book titled Go One More is now live and available for order. And you can find the links in the description of this podcast or video to go order Go One More.

• 31:00Nick Bare?

  I am really proud of all the chapters, the lessons, the values and the stories I share in this book. And you probably know that go one more, those three simple words have been revolutionary for not only myself and millions of other people, but for my brand, BPN2. And go one more for me has evolved over these years where when I first founded it, it was just based off of an action of doing one more of anything to achieve greater success and results. But the mindset shift that evolved for me went from go one more just being an action to also being an outcome.

• 31:45Nick Bare?

  And we achieve this outcome by making intentional, life-changing choices. This book for me is transformational and I know and believe that it'll be very valuable for you too. So like I said, you can find the link in the description to go purchase your copy of Go One More. Well, there's a, there's this podcast I love and it's called Founders. It's hosted by David Senna. I talk about it all the time on this podcast. And I was listening to an episode this weekend while I was running and it was talking about,

• 32:26Nick Bare?

  or he was talking about how it's hard to trust people who haven't faced real adversity in their life. And I think signing up for races like ultras is one way to put yourself in a position to be faced with adversity. That's chosen adversity that you have to, like we talked about problem solve and overcome.

• 32:51Nick Bare?

  There's also other adversity that you choose and pursue, but it's a different challenge. And where I'm going with this is, I think, part of your story is, is much of your story, and it's very powerful. And I want to talk about your, your journey with addiction, and then transitioning from addiction to running, and now, the amazing personal endeavors, and then professional success you're achieving right now, especially not only in, in fitness, but in real estate here in the Austin area. And as a professional Blackstone chef, in your free time at home.

• 33:32Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:32Nick Bare?

  I see you throwing down.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, throwing down.

• 33:34Nick Bare?

  I'm jealous. But I want to hear from you the story of how your addiction started? What age were you? What sparked it? And kind of just hang out there for a little bit, as we talk about the transition out of?

• 33:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. I, I think around the fifth or sixth grade, I hadn't started using yet, but this is where it kind of started. I had kind of been a quiet, shy kid until then. In the fifth grade, I started hanging out with the cool kids, like the athletes. I started playing sports, and because of sports, I started hanging out with like, the cool kids.

• 34:14Nick Bare?

  Where are you from originally?

• 34:15Speaker 00

  Dallas.

• 34:15Nick Bare?

  Dallas, okay.

• 34:16Speaker 00

  Yep. I grew up in Dallas. Fifth grade, sixth grade, again, I was getting better at sports, which kind of made me cool. But the seventh grade, or seventh or eighth grade is when some of my friends had older brothers that I saw drinking and smoking. I think it was also around the time that I had met friends from other schools. We had a high school, it was Jesuit High School, and all of the little Catholic middle schools would all meet on Fridays and go to the football games. Like, we would all meet at the game and hang out in this little area. So I started meeting friends from other schools, kind of like, the guys that, the same sort of people I was at my school, they were at their

• 34:59Speaker 00

  school, like, athletes, but also kind of the bad kids. I-

• 35:06Speaker 00

  I think I saw the attention that the bad kids got and I wanted that. Like, "Oh, he's so crazy, he's bad, like, oh wow," that sort of thing. And I really wanted that because it was a way to get attention. I didn't necessarily excel in academics to get attention. I wasn't this all-star athlete to get attention, but I could be the bad kid and get plenty of attention.

• 35:25Speaker 00

  I think I, maybe 7th or 8th grade is when I tried weed for the first time. I had tried cigarettes more recently, or a little earlier than that. And then, I think I started stealing liquor out of my parents' liquor cabinet. And we had this guy, we called him the beer man. And we could call him at like 1 a.m. And he would, this was like 8th grade. And he would just drop us by, a bottle of McCormick's liquor, and we'd pay him like 50 bucks, which was wild, and then he'd go. And we had this beer man, and we'd steal, and we would just drink after our parents went to bed. And then, you know, they didn't really know. But then, I think, summer going into high school is when things kind of started to get a little crazier.

• 36:09Speaker 00

  I started drinking more, smoking weed. I was like a daily weed smoker going into high school. Freshman year of high school, same sort of thing. I was playing sports, I was playing football, running track. But my sophomore year, at least summer after freshman year is when I started driving.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  Everything, the wheels just flew off once I could drive because I was then able to access everything. I had never had any interest in trying anything other than weed and alcohol, but I had a really close friend, my best friend today, lives here in Austin still, but he was kind of the guy that showed me everything. He showed me weed the first time, I think we were in the 7th grade, I think it was 7th grade. But anyway, he had grabbed some cocaine from someone, he did a favor for this drug dealer, and he gave him a bag of coke. And they had, my other two friends had tried it. And I was like, "Guys, like, that is so bad." Like, I was mad, I was mad at them. And he's very convincing, he's like, "Yo, it's not that bad, just give it a try." And so I tried it, and I was like, "That's like nothing, like, what was I even afraid of? Like, let's do more."

• 37:10Speaker 00

  And so that was like sophomore year, going into sophomore year of high school. I think most weekends were drinking cocaine and some pills. Xanax or whatever, or we experimented with a lot of MDMA and ecstasy.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  Xanax and cocaine and alcohol were what I did in high school. That was like my go to Friday afternoon after high school. We would, I would maybe get a paycheck or when my parents would give me some money. I would go straight from school to my drug dealer's house. I'd get a little bag of pills, some cocaine, some weed, and I'd go pick up some beer. Uh, and that would be our weekend and I would, I had a job lifeguarding. I worked at Potbelly Sandwich and my parents would pay for like my day to day. And everything that I made, I just spent on drugs and partying.

• 37:53Nick Bare?

  Did your parents like have any clue all this was going on?

• 37:56Speaker 00

  At that point they had found weed. Uh, the first time, and this is funny because I've heard this before, but my mom, I had a little stash under my closet, under the clothes in my closet. She left me a little note that said, hey, come see me. I was like, oh shit. Um, but I didn't really have any, you know what it was? It was, oh, my friend gave me this and, and they believed me every time. Like no foul on their part, like they want to believe their kid, right? Anyone does. Um, but yeah, I hardly had consequences and that's a theme throughout. Uh, but the first time I got caught with weed, I didn't have a consequence. First time I got caught drinking, I probably had small consequences, but not really. Um, it ended up being like, if you're gonna do it, I'd rather you do it here, sort of thing. Um, and in high school, that's kind of what we did. My, my house was like the party house. Uh, my parents would drink with us.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  Um, they were cool with it and you know, they said, as long as you're doing it, doing it here, we're okay with it, but like it would start there and then we'd leave every time. And they didn't, they didn't really care. They're just like, be careful. Um, looking back, like we were wild in high school and, um.

• 38:56Nick Bare?

  Did you go to a big high school?

• 38:58Speaker 00

  I started at a Catholic high school, which was big ish. But here's what was big is that we all went to these, there was like nine, they were called like the parochial schools. It was these little Catholic middle schools and they all fed into either Jesuit and Ursuline, which were the guy and girl school, or Bishop Lynch, which was the coed Catholic school. Um, so it wasn't necessarily a big school as far as Bishop Lynch. We had like 250, 300 people in each grade, but we also had like Jesuit and Ursuline, which we were all very close with.

• 39:26Nick Bare?

  Got you. Okay.

• 39:27Speaker 00

  So it was a big community and it was so like private schools. It's not like you just know the people in your neighborhood. People are coming from all over Dallas and the, the whole area to go to these schools. And so by that you meet people like outside of town and sort of thing, like where they're from, Plano, whatever.

• 39:44Nick Bare?

  It's a big network of

• 39:45Speaker 00

  Big network.

• 39:45Nick Bare?

  Lots of different people.

• 39:46Speaker 00

  Yeah. In high school, I did have a decent sized network of friends. Which has been a theme as well. Like I kinda, and I wanna talk about another thing, but I'll get to that. But I, I see the people that I like and wanna be like, and I insert myself there. It happened in, as a kid, when I was shy and I saw the cool kids and I'm like, I wanna be like them. I put myself right next to them. Then the athletes, then the drug addicts, then the bad kids. And then it got into like sobriety, then the athletes, the fastest runners in Austin. I'm like, I'm gonna go sit right next to them and do what they do. And then in my career, same sort of thing. So I've done that since the beginning, whether it was negative or positive. But yeah, I don't really know where I was going with that.

• 40:27Nick Bare?

  You were in high school, you're at home, drinking with your parents, leaving in the evenings after they kinda went down.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  There's one thing about all of that that I just wanna say, and it is that I had a great time. I had so much fun in high school. I, I like to joke that I peaked in high school because I was a cool kid. I was bad. I got a lot of attention, but it was like cool attention. I seemingly had a ton of friends. In hindsight, it was more so like, they wanted to do, they wanted what I, they wanted to use the drugs, they wanted to be at the parties, they wanted to, I, I got, I got to drive really young because, or at a younger grade, a lower grade, because I was like held back in pre-K. So I turned 16 before my sophomore year.

• 41:10Nick Bare?

  Okay.

• 41:11Speaker 00

  So I seemingly had a whole lot of friends and community and like, but really looking back, it was like they wanted to take part in what I was taking part in, which I think is a pretty common thing. But I had a great time and that's important because I had a great time even into my first year of college. And then I didn't. And then it got really bad.

• 41:31Nick Bare?

  You had a good time? You were, you were happy? You were fulfilled?

• 41:34Speaker 00

  I was happy. Fulfilled is, I feel like for a young kid, yeah, I was fulfilled. I was getting everything I wanted. I thought this is what life is gonna be like.

• 41:43Nick Bare?

  Yeah, for everything that you knew life could offer.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  Correct. Yeah. From, yeah, exactly. And it's so funny because my priorities and the things I thought life were gonna be like so many different times. It was just like so crazy. Like there was a point in time. That I thought I would just use drugs forever. And it was more of like when I was like in the bad, bad parts of it. But I was like, this is just how it's gonna be and that's fine. But yeah, high school was great. I went to college. I did not run in college, however, I was pretty decent at track in high school. But when I went to college, went to University of Arkansas, I was like, I'm gonna put the drugs down. I'm not gonna use coke, I'm not gonna use pills. I'll still smoke weed and I'm gonna drink beer. I'm not gonna drink liquor anymore because I get shit-based and I do crazy things.

• 42:27Speaker 00

  I got to college, my first semester, I did that. I just drank beer, I went to frat parties, I hardly went to class. I made all Cs and I was having a great time. My freshman year of college, about halfway point, I was introduced to opiates. And I had tried like hydrocodone before, but it really didn't do it for me because I like to party. Now that I'm in this like, I'm trying to do better. I'm gonna put the drugs down, like I'm trying to stay in a little more, like focus on school, because I didn't want to do well in school. Like I had very, I had a high ambitions in school. Like I really wanted to do well.

• 43:01Nick Bare?

  What were you studying?

• 43:02Speaker 00

  I was studying biology.

• 43:04Nick Bare?

  What did you want to pursue post-college?

• 43:06Speaker 00

  I wanted to be a doctor, yeah, at that point. Even my dad was a doctor and I, obviously him and his friends, I looked up to them from like the very, very beginning. I, yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 00

  I did well for like a semester and then I found opiates. And my thought was like, I had a roommate who had done opiates all of high school, like same sort of thing like me, but like he was an opiate guy. Which are like, opiates are hydrocodone, oxycodone, morphine, fentanyl and heroin. Like the ones that are, they're not like party drugs. They're like, sit there and just feel it drugs. But anyway, he showed me opiates and I'm like, this is perfect. Like now I can stay home and study and not feel like I'm missing out, going out. So I started using opiates and I started using them pretty heavily in the beginning and it was like first time I did it, I think I tried like three or four hydrocodone. I was like, this is great. My roommate was like, hey, you gotta try OxyContin. Like if you

• 44:04Speaker 00

  like hydrocodone, OxyContin is like 10 times better. I was like, great. Like and I thought in my head, it's harmless because it's pharmaceuticals. Like I'd been using pharmaceuticals for the last like five years and you know, it's, it's how bad could it be? The first time I had opiate withdrawals, I remember it so clearly. I was, I was with my some more friends from Arkansas and I thought I had the flu. Like I was like, man, guys, like I came down with the flu. And just so happened, we were not unable to get any pills around town and one of my friends was like, yeah, let's drive up to Missouri. I got a guy up there. So we drove an hour up to Missouri in this drug dealer's house. I like, at this point, I was, I was freebasing them off tinfoil. So you cut the pill in half, you put it on the tinfoil, you light it underneath and you fall it with a straw and it's like instantaneous,

• 44:47Speaker 00

  like one hit instantaneous. And so I was at this drug dealer's house.

• 44:50Nick Bare?

  You snort it with a straw?

• 44:51Speaker 00

  No, no, you inhale, you, you burn it underneath and it like smokes right off the pill on top of the foil and you inhale the smoke with a straw.

• 44:57Nick Bare?

  Got you, okay. And at this point, you're, you're using every day?

• 45:01Speaker 00

  I'm using daily. I am using daily, but still not knowing that I'm addicted or having withdrawals or anything like that. Like it'd probably been two or three weeks and that's it. But yeah, when we first introduced OxyContin, he's like, yeah, we can snort it or smoke it. Like you don't want to swallow it, doesn't work as well. I took a hit at this guy's house and I immediately felt better and I was like, that is so weird. Like I thought I had the flu and they were like, they were like, no, you just had withdrawals. And I'm like, what? That was awful. And then I'm like, oh, that's not good. Cause like at that point, like I'm gonna have to go through that again if I want to stop.

• 45:34Nick Bare?

  You recognize that right away?

• 45:35Speaker 00

  I did recognize it. When I took that hit, I was like, and I felt better. I was like, that's so weird. Yeah. They told me and then I recognized like, oh shoot, like, am I stuck?

• 45:44Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 45:45Speaker 00

  Because it was awful. You know, I was, I was still functioning because I'd only been using three weeks or so.

• 45:51Speaker 00

  Fast forward, that was like a daily thing. Like I really, it went so fast. My opiate addiction, I think like that. I was a daily user and I was a daily, all day user. And then my whole life revolved. I mean, I'd show up to class sometimes. I'd do my homework as much as I could. I'd show up to take the test. I made Cs across the board. I, I'd never worked harder than I did to try and find drugs or resources or whatever. What am I gonna hustle to make money? And what textbooks am I gonna sell? What, whatever. I never worked that hard in my life, which is important moving later. But I remember another time, probably a few months down the road from that,

• 46:35Speaker 00

  and I was sitting in my room with my roommate, same guy I'd been using opiates with. We just used together, him and I. And I told him, I looked over and I was like, "Bro, I think I need to go to rehab." And not having any clue what rehab it was, what it meant, what you did there. But I just remember sitting in my little desk chair, like knowing about the withdrawals at this point. And even at this point, like I couldn't go through the night without getting sick. So in the morning, whenever I wake up, I'm dry heaving. I'm probably vomiting. My stomach is in knots. I've got the body aches and I'm cold sweating until I can take that first hit and then I'm good. But every morning was like that. It was like, fuck, I open my eyes and I'm like, oh my God, it's, I'm fucking so sick.

• 47:18Nick Bare?

  How many, how many times throughout the day would you have to use to keep up with that?

• 47:21Speaker 00

  A lot, yeah. So I'd say probably like two, every two hours minimum.

• 47:25Nick Bare?

  Oh, wow.

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Another thing that I learned after experimenting in every different ways of using, smoking or freebasing is the most immediate and it is the most intense withdrawals. Even when, when you, when I moved into like the IV use. Smoking it was as bad. And that was the sickest and most withdrawals I've ever had was like that first year of college. And after that, I, my best friend that I mentioned earlier that I tried everything with, he called my mom and was like, hey, he's using real drugs. You need to figure out what's going on. She drove up there, picked me up, and I went to rehab the first time. When I went to rehab, I didn't want to stop. Obviously, I wanted to stop opiates because I was in this cycle and I

• 48:08Speaker 00

  knew I couldn't get out of it without like intervention. And so I went to rehab. I was like, okay, I'll just get off the opiates. I'll go back to school and I'll be good. I'll just go back to my thing, like Xanax pills and drinking. I got out of rehab and the first day I drank a beer, which they told me I couldn't. They said that you can't do that if you want to stay sober. I'm like, okay, I'm 19 years old. Get out of here. I drank a beer when I got home with my dad. And I was like, yeah, you know, I'm done with the drugs. I'm just gonna drink. I think I relapsed two days later on drugs with every part of me saying I'm not gonna do it again. And then, so here we go into the cycle over the next like seven years.

• 48:49Nick Bare?

  Seven years?

• 48:50Speaker 00

  Seven years of that, yeah.

• 48:51Nick Bare?

  How many times over those seven years did you go back to rehab?

• 48:56Speaker 00

  Six times. It averaged out about once a year, but it wasn't once a year. Sometimes it was, I'd go and then two months later I'd go again, or a year later I'd go again. Yeah, it was a, it was a very hectic cycle.

• 49:08Nick Bare?

  What was the longest period of time post rehab that you stayed sober before relapsing?

• 49:13Speaker 00

  I think the time, I think probably like six months, maybe. I'd go to a 30 day treatment center and then I'd go to a 90 day sober living program and then I'd get out and live with a sober person and then him and I would relapse pretty shortly afterwards. Every time. The longest, I think, was the most recent time. I was sober just about a year and I was working at a restaurant in Austin and I had planned it all out. I was like, we're having a boat party, an employee boat party, and I'm gonna drink. I planned it out a week in advance. I was like, I don't care anymore. I'm gonna go drink a beer on this boat. I picked up a 12 pack. By the end of the evening, like we

• 49:55Speaker 00

  got back around like four, by like seven or eight PM when it got dark, I was at my old drug dealer's house that I had known for years here in Austin. And I picked up cocaine first because I hated getting the spins, like when I drink too much, because I'm an alcoholic, just as much as I'm a drug addict. I drink until I'm gone. And I, but I'd use cocaine to bring me back and then I could keep drinking. So I'd go get cocaine and I would do that whole thing and then like 5 a.m. I'm at his house again picking up Xanax because I'm coming down so hard and I need something to and then I'm just off to the races again. That lasted about two weeks and it was as bad, it had never gotten that bad that quickly from like a drink. And today, people say like, will you ever drink again?

• 50:36Speaker 00

  And I'm like, honestly, that's the one thing I cannot do because all of my decision-making skills, my morals, everything that I like stand by, go out the window and I'm just like, sure, why not? I don't care. Drinking is the one thing I know I can never, I mean, I can't do any of it, but like drinking's the one that leads to everything else.

• 50:54Nick Bare?

  Is that because one drink leads to multiple drinks? Multiple drinks leads to problem solving where you're literally, alright, I'm coming down, I need to get back up.

• 51:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly.

• 51:05Nick Bare?

  Come down, get back up.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 51:07Nick Bare?

  So over those, first off, appreciate you sharing all that.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:11Nick Bare?

  In the course of those seven years, what ended up happening to your, your college pursuit?

• 51:20Speaker 00

  Oh, man, I, I was in and out of college for seven years. My poor parents, I mean, they paid for my college and it was like, I'd go back to school, I'd get through a semester or maybe like three quarters of the way through a semester and they'd have to pull me out to go back to rehab. I was so horrible. Not horrible to them because I truly believe I was sick. Like, I want to refer, I want to reference Ultra and, or I want to like tie them together, Ultras and using in sobriety, but I don't, I don't think I'm there yet. But, um, yeah, my poor parents. In and out of rehab, seven years, on and off drugs, jail, I've been charged with six felonies,

• 52:04Speaker 00

  all possession charges. I think three of them, I got into car accidents, like bad car accidents, falling asleep and then just finding drugs and paraphernalia all over the car. Because like when I hit something, they would just like explode everywhere. That happened three times. And, um, I mean, countless relationships, lost a ton of people that I hurt.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  That I was so close with, best friends and family that I just, my mom, and this is like one of the most vivid memories, was I was at their house, I'd stay at their house and then I'd go off and be gone for a week, bouncing around couches and then I'd come back to try and like, you know, show that I'm okay. But one time she had found my drugs and she was like sleeping on the couch next to the front door in like our little living room because she didn't want me to leave and I was like sick and I remember going over to her, I knew where she had my stuff and I guess she had stopped me, taken something from me or had it, my drugs, and I just grabbed them out of her hand and turned around and walked away and went out the front door. That's probably the worst, I mean obviously

• 53:05Speaker 00

  not the worst thing I did, but that hurt me the most because my mom stood by me through every single second of it. Whether it hurt me or helped me, it was her intention, but like, any moment it got too bad for me, like, I'm so sick or I'm so broke or whatever, I could call her and say, "Hey, I need help," she'd be right there. "Do you need rehab? Do you need to come home? Do you, what do you need? Do you need money?" You know? So she was my biggest supporter, probably a big detriment, looking back, but like not, no, no blame on her, but she's just doing what a mom would do. Right. I mean, I was the manipulative one. Like, everyone believed me, for the most part.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  But yeah, yeah, so, seven years of in and out, college, tuitions, I went to three different colleges. Yeah, it was, it was wild, it was awful. There were parts of it that I enjoyed. And the biggest thing of it, and this is kind of what I mentioned before, was, I thought this is how it was gonna be forever. I truly thought I would never figure it out. And I was okay with it. I was like, "I'm gonna be in and out of treatments, or jail, or hospitals." I had countless overdoses. And that was just how it was gonna be and I was okay with it. Like... I kinda get it, like some of the guys that live on the streets.

• 54:29Speaker 00

  Um, and they seem okay because I never was living on the streets, but I had plenty of overnights on the streets, like literally just like on foot. And I would post up in some alley and I'd sit down behind a trash can and I had my drugs there and I was, I didn't need anything else. Like I literally did not care that I was laying on the side of an alley in the middle of the night, like it was heaven. Um, no one would bother me, that sort of thing. So I kinda get it. It didn't matter my situation. If I had my drugs, I was good.

• 55:01Nick Bare?

  Yeah. How close did you get to dying during that time?

• 55:08Speaker 00

  That's a good question. I think probably, I think any one of the times that I OD'd and maybe went to the hospital or maybe didn't because there was nobody there. Uh, but there were a number of times that I would shoot up and then end up, like it would be 10:00 PM and I would wake up in the morning in the position that I had like, like either hunched over my, like fallen over onto my knees, like sitting down in like, like that, or just fallen directly to the side and I'd wake up and I'd be like, I'm like fully dressed, I had fully plans of like going out tonight. Uh, I just like completely probably OD'd because I was like unconscious. Um, whether I was close to dying or not, I have no idea. Uh, but I imagine that, yeah, I probably was because most people do die from this drug.

• 55:51Nick Bare?

  How did it get to heroin? What did that step look like?

• 55:54Speaker 00

  I remember that day so vividly as well. Um, I was an OxyContin user, it was like the fancy heroin. Um, I had a friend, Kirk, I won't say his last name because he's still very much around, but uh, he's doing really well. Um, he was like, yo, and he had told me this before, he's like, yo, I have a guy, he sells black tar heroin. He's like, I know you can't, we're, this, they're not, the drug dealers are all out of OxyContin, I got a guy, he sells black tar heroin. I was like, bro, no, mm-mm, never doing that, that's trashy, that's.

• 56:21Nick Bare?

  What is black tar heroin?

• 56:22Speaker 00

  It's uh, there's like two types of heroin. Black tar is like the Mexican stuff that's manufactured in Mexico and brought up. It's like a goo. It's like a black goo. Uh, other heroin is like white powder. Um, this is like easier to manufacture and it does come from Mexico and it, so it's very uh plentiful in Texas. Um, most border states have it. Uh, the east coast, I think is more of like the other kind. Um, but anyway, yeah, he was like, finally one night, we were at a friend's house at, at a party and I was like, I can't get any oxy. He's like, I can't get any oxy. He's like, I got that guy. And I'm like, okay, let's do it. And I was, it was, I was sick and he was like, let's, let's do it. I was like, let's go get it. So we drove over there.

• 57:03Speaker 00

  Um, we got heroin the first time. I snorted it and I did it and I was like, it's nothing. I thought it was gonna be insane. Like OxyContin's stronger than that, probably. Um, obviously shooting, snorting it and then I guess a couple of weeks later, like, um, it was cheap. It was very, very cheap. Uh, but a couple of weeks later, I started injecting it and that was like game over. This is the absolute best, most efficient, best way to get all the bang for your buck, uh, was to inject it. And I think that was probably like

• 57:35Speaker 00

  2010 and then I got sober in

• 57:40Speaker 00

  uh, late 2015. So five years of IV use, IV heroin use and then um IV cocaine use, IV meth use as well. Uh, throughout that time.

• 57:51Nick Bare?

  Why does heroin get such a, I wanna say bad reputation, but why is it so popular being this, this drug that is truly this downward spiral afterwards?

• 58:03Speaker 00

  I think it's so addicting. It, it, you just, it's, I saw this, um, I don't know, not a statistic, but like, it's like how much dopamine is released and it said the amount of like when you see a sunset or when you eat a great meal or when you have sex and then heroin is like 50 times that dopamine release. And then crystal meth is like a hundred times that. Um, it's so addict, it's a euphoria. Like you do it and immediately you just feel it coming on because it's like in your veins and you can feel it, you taste it in your throat. And then it happens and it's euphoric immediately and it's like a numbness. Uh, that's what the whole thing was. It was numbing. Um, I was not okay with who I was. I was fearful of literally everybody. I couldn't look people in the eye. I hated who I was.

• 58:48Speaker 00

  But I loved who I was when I was drunk or high, at least I thought I did. It got rid of my, it gave me confidence, it got rid of my self, my bad self-esteem, my low self-esteem. Anything negative, I overcame it when I drank and used. I was like, this is what I'm the expert at.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:09Nick Bare?

  So in 2015, what changed? What started the process of sobriety?

• 59:16Speaker 00

  That's interesting, nothing changed. I, I went into treatment for the sixth time. I didn't want to be there, I had snuck drugs in. I got caught with the drugs, I actually was like laying in my little detox cot with like five other people in the room. I had set a book up on my chest so that no one could see me. Lights are on, everyone's in there kind of reading or getting ready for bed. And I shot up in my wrist, like without anyone look, like with the book blocking. And I passed out and the nurse came in and found me with all of my stuff just like laying on my chest in bed. Like the spoon, the needle, everything, my little tourniquet was just all right there. And they were like, what is going on? And they like woke me up, they brought me into the other room, they, you know, not scolding me, but they're like,

• 1:00:00Speaker 00

  this is, you've got people around you, like this is dangerous, like this is awful, you're in rehab, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they tried to kick me out. There was one case manager that was like, just let him stay.

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  So they let me stay, I.

• 1:00:15Nick Bare?

  Why'd you go to rehab if you didn't want to be there?

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  I didn't not want to be there, I just didn't want to stop yet. I wanted to exhaust all of my cash and drugs and then I was willing to work.

• 1:00:26Nick Bare?

  Okay.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  But I had picked stuff up on my way home for the, on the way for the drive. And when I got there and then I had some left and I was like, I'm not going to throw it away. I'm going to use it the first night or two and then kind of ease into it and then I'll do it.

• 1:00:38Nick Bare?

  Do a lot of people, sorry, just question, do a lot of people show up to rehab high?

• 1:00:42Speaker 00

  For sure, almost everybody. They almost encourage it because if you're like on alcohol or benzos, you can literally die from the detox. You can't die from a heroin detox, it's really miserable. But like, they kind of encourage it, like just do as you would do and show up and then we'll get you on detox meds.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  But yeah, I.

• 1:01:04Speaker 00

  I don't, there was nothing different, other than like,

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  every time I'd been to rehab, I'd kinda half-assed everything. Like, I'll go and dry out, uh, I'll feel better, put some weight on, get a job, and then I'll go back to it. Um, this time, same mentality, but I was like, you know what? They told me that this stuff would work if I did it to my best ability. Uh, referring to the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I was like, "That's bullshit, but I'll try it." So I tried it as hard as I could, um, so that I could say, "Hey, guys, I tried it as hard as I could. Uh, it doesn't work, but it worked." And, uh, that's the only difference, is that I actually applied myself into the 12 steps and... I can't, I don't, I can't explain it, it worked. It truly works.

• 1:01:50Nick Bare?

  Was it your first time doing the 12-step program? Or was it every time?

• 1:01:54Speaker 00

  It was my first time doing it truly, honestly, like, with no hesitation, like, no reservation. That is the, is the first time I did it as, as best as I could. I was truly honest. I was honest about everything, I was honest about... That was, that was a big one, is honesty. I was never honest, because I was so awful, I didn't want anyone to know how bad I was. I had done it before, and I had gone to the meetings, but I never, like, sat down with another man, a sponsor, and worked through all 12 steps, and then worked with other new alcoholics. I'd never done that, and it was, it did truly save everything. Um, they told me, this was so true, "The 12 steps is not for people who do it. It's not for people who..." Oh, no, sorry. "It's not for people who need it, it's not for people who want it, it's just for people who do it."

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  Um, and honestly, it is a roadmap for life.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  The obsession to drink and use drugs left me very quickly, uh, like, uh, as I started this journey. Um, and then, like, the gifts of, like, how to handle life, how to handle stress, how to handle your, my job, handle, how to handle relationships, how to show up, uh, and be who I wanna be. And that's really what the focus is. Like, again, the obsession to drink and use left, and then it was like, just a roadmap for life. Like, how, and it could, anyone could benefit from it. Like, it truly would be so great for just anyone to do. Because it is, the same stresses that I dealt with, that I numbed, are the same stresses that literally everyone has, I just coped with it poorly. But yeah, anyway.

• 1:03:27Nick Bare?

  I've heard people who have had success with sobriety and have incorporated the 12 steps. They are massive believers in a 12-step program.

• 1:03:39Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 1:03:40Nick Bare?

  People speak volumes.

• 1:03:41Speaker 00

  Yeah. It saved my life completely, without a doubt. The one thing that could save my life, at least at first, because I can go into a number of things that have now saved my life moving forward. In all honesty and full disclosure, I don't work the 12 steps anymore. I don't go to meetings. I haven't in about four years. But I truly believe that I have found a replacement, and that is fitness and community. I also think sobriety is so dependent on community. I think just being happy is dependent on community because being alone is, I don't know if that's me or how other people feel, but I don't like being alone. I don't like doing difficult things alone. I don't like doing anything alone, really.

• 1:04:24Speaker 00

  I mean, obviously, I like time alone, but like, for the most part.

• 1:04:27Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  Community is so huge in my sobriety. And I think anyone who can find community, no matter what it is, if it's fitness, great. If it's something else, find something you love and find the people who love it as well.

• 1:04:40Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I mean, looking at your life now, I can see that. How important that is, and it's a principal value to your continued success.

• 1:04:49Speaker 00

  I think it is the number one.

• 1:04:52Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I can see that just from everything you do. So transitioning out of rehab that last time, back to regular life. What did that look like in terms of things you started incorporating? Where did you start working?

• 1:05:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:06Nick Bare?

  How did your life get from there to here?

• 1:05:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a, that's a good one because I would say the biggest transformation was like non-sobriety to sobriety, but I kind of don't feel like that's it. Like, I kept moving. About a year after, maybe a year and a half after getting sober. I was working at a restaurant, which they were so supportive. It was the same restaurant that I relapsed at. When I called them after the relapse, I was like, guys, like, they obviously knew I was drinking, but I was there like, I've relapsed big time. I need to go to rehab. They're like, go, we got all your shifts covered. You got a job when you get back. Go take care of yourself.

• 1:05:42Nick Bare?

  That's awesome.

• 1:05:42Speaker 00

  It was so huge. And they were also important moving forward after rehab, like incredibly supportive. Katie and Chris, they manage bangers now, but they were so pivotal in early sobriety. They have no idea. They don't even know. I've told them, but they have no clue how like important they were to me in the beginning. And there were a lot of people that don't realize how important they were to me throughout my journey and how like pivotal they were in my, my journey and my sobriety. But I did, I loved that job. I had great friends. Most of my friends were either in the restaurant or from the 12 step meetings that I went to. I think I started, I was walking my dog through Auditorium Shores

• 1:06:26Speaker 00

  one time, smoking cigs. Cause I, I did, I got sober. I ate awful. I ate cheeseburgers. I drank sodas all day, every day. And I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, if not more.

• 1:06:35Nick Bare?

  You gained a lot of weight?

• 1:06:36Speaker 00

  I gained weight. Yeah. Oh yeah. I was a chunk.

• 1:06:39Nick Bare?

  How heavy did you get? Do you know?

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  There was, it wasn't this time. It was probably a year prior, but I had gotten up to like 185.

• 1:06:46Nick Bare?

  And what do you sit at right now?

• 1:06:47Speaker 00

  Like 145.

• 1:06:49Nick Bare?

  Okay. Yeah.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:51Nick Bare?

  So 40 pounds.

• 1:06:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, yeah, I was, I was, I was lifting weights. Like I was strong and I was healthy, but I was chunky for a

• 1:06:58Nick Bare?

  I can imagine you at 185.

• 1:06:59Speaker 00

  Oh yeah. I was a chunk. Um, but anyway, uh, the restaurant was incredible. Um, I, oh yeah, sorry. I was walking the dog through Auditorium Shores and I saw this like hit training group. Uh, later I found out it was called Organic Fitness and Training. Jacob was the guy, Jacob Wood. Um, I walked up to them as they were doing their, their group while I'm smoking a cig. I was like, guys, what are y'all doing? And they're like, we're, we're doing a, a fitness class. You should come out. And he like gave me his card with the schedule on it. I was like, hmm, okay.

• 1:07:32Speaker 00

  And so I went back home, you know, whatever the next, okay, let me back up a little. I was sitting with one of my best friends, the guy Trevor that I've talked about previously. I tried everything with and I was like, yo, like I want to date a fit girl. Like, I think that's, that's who I like now and they, him and another guy were like, why would a fit girl ever date you? Like, take a look in the mirror, bud, like, you're not that kind of guy. And I was like, you're right. Uh, so move forward a couple of weeks, I found, I found this like HIIT training camp and I asked them what they were and I showed up the next day. Um, I was a pack a day smoker, I also chewed tobacco. Uh, I never picked up another cigarette for at least like seven years after that. Like I never, I, I went to that HIIT training class, I did the, the workout and I never picked up another cigarette because it hurt my lungs so badly.

• 1:08:17Speaker 00

  But I think I went pretty much every day after that. Um, and I went for about six months or something and then I started running. Cause we did a little bit of running, but I started, I'd leave from my house and I'd run down to the trail, half a mile and come back.

• 1:08:29Nick Bare?

  What year is this?

• 1:08:30Speaker 00

  This is probably like late 2018.

• 1:08:35Nick Bare?

  Okay.

• 1:08:35Speaker 00

  Um, cause I think early, maybe it's late 2017 or late 2018, but it was, I think 20, it must've been late 2018, but anyway.

• 1:08:46Speaker 00

  I wanted to be a runner now, um, and I wanted to run a five minute mile. And because I had done that as a kid in, really in eighth grade, I ran a five minute mile. And then I did again, I did it through high school, but that was about as good as I got. Um, and uh, yeah, I thought it was insane of an idea, but I was like, I think I can do it because I had done it before. Um, all throughout my using, I hadn't, I had always had this like thought in the back of my head that like, if I can ever get sober, I want to be a runner because I, I enjoyed it as a kid. My parents were both marathon runners. I loved it as like a seventh and eighth grader, even freshman in high school. And then I had other interests like drinking and drugs, but I loved it. I was going to be a runner. That was like fifth and sixth grade. I was like, that's what I'm going to be.

• 1:09:30Speaker 00

  So I thought that whole time using that I would possibly end up coming back to that. And I never thought it would turn out like this, but I thought maybe I had some talent. But I did, I joined the Gilbert's Gazelles and he trained me for like six weeks and I ran a, I don't know, 448 mile and it blew my mind. I was like, how?

• 1:09:53Nick Bare?

  In six weeks of training?

• 1:09:54Speaker 00

  Well, maybe a little longer than that. I mean, but like I'd been doing six months of HIIT training, like with some running.

• 1:09:59Nick Bare?

  But still, it's extremely impressive.

• 1:10:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was impressive. And then after that, I think I ran a, a, uh, cap 10K was my first road race and I ran it in like 36 minutes and then I did a half marathon in like 116, which in hindsight, like those were great times for someone who never ran. They're great times for right now. Like they're great times for people right now. But it didn't hit me yet that I was gonna be good. And then I guess I, I trained for Grandma's. I did a marathon in December with Gilbert's Gazelles. It was December of 2019 or, and I think it was December of 2018. And then 2019, after C I M in December, 2019, I started working with Jeff. Or late 2018, I started working with Jeff.

• 1:10:42Nick Bare?

  You just knew Jeff from the inner circles of Austin?

• 1:10:46Speaker 00

  No, he wasn't even in the inner circle yet. So a girl, Rachel Baptista, he coached her in, in high school and she had, and she had gone to college and come back. And we were training with, I guess it was Rogue or Gilbert's. But she was like, I think I'm gonna have my high school coach train me. And I was like, cool, yeah, like, I'll, I'll help you. Like I just ran a marathon, C I M, you're training for Houston, I'll, I'll pace you and stuff. I paced her and then as with Jeff coaching and got to know Jeff. And at that point, I was like, Jeff, I want you to coach me. So he coached me to Grandma's in early 20, June of 2019 and I ran 107 and that was like my breakthrough.

• 1:11:24Speaker 00

  That was when I thought like trials or like 220 marathon or like like I had a thought in the back of my head. I didn't really tell anyone, but I was like, is it possible? Just because I had gotten better and better. And when I ran that, it was 510 pace. I remember finishing and the next day I was like, I think I can run a marathon at that pace. Obviously, like it took me years, but five years later I ran a marathon at that pace.

• 1:11:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't know. I fell in love with it. I fell in love with the challenge. It was very, very hard and it was the biggest thing was that I could see tangible accomplishments, like the numbers on my watch. Seeing things getting better and better was like something I could wrap my head around. Like I can work towards something and then see it and then I work even harder and then see the progress. Kind of throughout this whole last 10 years has been like that. Like it is such a rewarding, you're talking about the dopamine. Running as hard as you can and then seeing that number on your watch when you finally finish that mile loop. And it like is something good and you're like, oh shit, like that was awesome. That's that's almost incomparable.

• 1:12:29Nick Bare?

  How do you feel about when, because I can't speak into this because I've never come from addiction before. But when people say that so many prior addicts find endurance sports and they funnel that addiction into a new passion. Do you believe there's validity there?

• 1:12:48Speaker 00

  Absolutely. Well, Max told me, he was like, or Max, sorry. He was like, what kept me high is what makes me good at ultras. And I didn't really get that until I did last man standing. There were, I want to, I want to talk about, let me just, let me just say it. But there were times out there where I was like, I can't even take another step, like out in it, in the dark, in the dark. And like, I can't take another step, but like, all I want to do is just take another step. Like it was literally the same thing of like, I'm not going to use anymore, but all I want to do is use more. Like it was the exact same thing and I can't even, I didn't, I've never had that in a running thing. I've never experienced that before until this.

• 1:13:33Speaker 00

  Ultra and it was like, I'm addicted. I have to go back out there and keep going. Cause I just can't like, I can't not do it. I wanna do it like everything, but it's so hard, but I just wanna do it. It was, it was a crazy thing.

• 1:13:44Nick Bare?

  Did you recognize that in the middle of it or in retrospect?

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  No, I recognized it in it. I was like, this is what Max was telling me. I was like, it's, he was so spot on. The same thing that was like, I've gotta get these drugs. I've just gotta do it and I can't stop. Was the same feeling. I was like, I gotta just keep going. I gotta just keep going. Obviously in a more positive way, like I was enjoying it, but I was enjoying the drugs. Like I was like, I just gotta get it. Uh, it really is so, so, so similar.

• 1:14:12Speaker 00

  That the last man standing was the hardest thing I've done in my whole life. Outside of getting sober. Um, and I've gone back and forth with this. As far as what was harder. But at the end of the day. At so many times in my addiction, I said. I am stopping right now. I don't care. No matter what, I'm stopping. And then five minutes later, I'm shooting up again. And that happened over and over and over. I would throw my shit down the toilet and say, I'm done. And then I'd be in the car five minutes later, driving to my drug dealer's house.

• 1:14:45Speaker 00

  No matter who was telling me, no matter how much I cared about someone. No matter how much I respected or whatever, or loved myself or whatever. I could not stop. There was nothing that would stop me. No matter how. Much self-will I could muster to just like, put it down. I couldn't do it.

• 1:15:04Speaker 00

  The race was close, but. Even when I said, I can't take another step, I could always take another step. So that's for that, the getting sober was, was harder.

• 1:15:15Nick Bare?

  Do you still struggle with temptations to use again, or are you far removed from that?

• 1:15:23Speaker 00

  I just love so much what I have right now. Like fitness has become so, so, so important.

• 1:15:29Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:29Speaker 00

  Um, and that's when I say like, I don't work the 12 steps anymore, but I do feel like I have found a sufficient replacement. Which is fitness and community. Uh, I, I feel like I have so much accountability in our, in the community and with friends and people that I run with and my wife that like.

• 1:15:46Speaker 00

  Consequences and. Other things never kept me sober before.

• 1:15:52Speaker 00

  I don't really, I can't explain it. I have so much just like love and passion for what I'm doing right now that I, a drink or a drug would just throw it all out the window and I could never do that.

• 1:16:01Nick Bare?

  It's not worth it.

• 1:16:02Speaker 00

  No, it's not. But, but it's so weird because there were other things that I had that were not worth it, but I did it anyway. I go back and forth on whether I'm on the right path or not the right path as far as sobriety. But the good news is, is that if I start to feel like I'm not on the right path, like maybe leading towards a drink or a drug, then I can always go back into the 12 steps.

• 1:16:21Nick Bare?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:22Speaker 00

  But I really do believe that I have found like a sufficient replacement. It is an addiction for sure, running 1,000%. I've done a cross addiction into fitness. But until it becomes like harmful, then I don't see the problem. Like, what's wrong with being addicted to fitness if it's not, if it's not hurting you?

• 1:16:39Nick Bare?

  I agree.

• 1:16:39Speaker 00

  Like, obviously if I was addicted and I'm breaking my leg every three months, then yeah, then maybe I gotta back off a little bit and figure out another solution. But at this point, it seems to be healthy.

• 1:16:49Nick Bare?

  How is your relationship with your parents?

• 1:16:51Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 1:16:51Nick Bare?

  Going through all of this?

• 1:16:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. Going through it, like, we had ups and downs. My dad and I had ups and downs. I never doubted his love, neither of them. Obviously, I disappointed them extremely, and they had every right to, to show that. But, um, man, they supported me through all of it. Like, when it really came down to it, if I needed help, they were there.

• 1:17:14Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:14Speaker 00

  If I needed to get out of jail, they were there. It would never, it didn't come without, like, if, if, the deal was if, if they bail me out of jail, I gotta go to rehab. Which is fair, and honestly, looking back, it's like, that is a golden opportunity that most don't get. Like, I do think I would have ended up sober without rehabs and stuff. But I, I had a luxurious way of getting sober. Like, go to jail, parents bail you out, send you to rehab. Like, that is like, without a doubt, the most cushy way to get sober there is. People have it way, way worse. I'd gotten sober in worse conditions and I've gotten sober in greater conditions. I don't think it matters. When it's time, it's time.

• 1:17:55Speaker 00

  But yeah, they are my biggest supporters, obviously are so proud of me at this point. My dad died, I think, like three years ago, maybe it's been four almost. But I was actually traveling at that point and he had gotten sick and one of some of my plans fell through. And so I came back to Dallas and I stayed with them for like a month and a half. And I'm so, so, so glad that that happened because my dad died like a week after I left. But I was there to take care of him. I gave him showers, like I did, I helped him. We had a nurse that was a 24 hour nurse. But I am so, so grateful for that opportunity.

• 1:18:37Speaker 00

  And there was one time especially that he had a doctor's appointment and he was very out of it, like leading up to that whole time. But we had a day and it was my aunt who was his sister. And we took him to the doctor and he had like, he was his old self again. It was so wild. Like he was kind of grumpy and like, but he'd make jokes and he'd like make fun of people and like he was, and he was doing that. And I was like, this is unbelievable that I got to like share that with him. And I left back to Austin, I think like a week after that situation and then he died like a week or two later. I can't tell you how grateful I am that like, one, I got to spend that time with him.

• 1:19:17Speaker 00

  Two, when he died, I am a thousand percent confident that he knows that I'm there for my mom and my family and I'm good. Like I'm not, I'm not going back the way I used to be. And he did get to see a bunch of big accomplishments, which is great. I mean, I obviously wish I could, he could see me now. And my number one wish is that he could meet Jordy, my wife, because they would just, he would be so proud of Jordy. Cause she is like everything and.

• 1:19:47Speaker 00

  People were intimidated by him because he's a surgeon. Jordy works with surgeons every day. She'd put him in his place so quick and it would have been incredible. But yeah, my relationship with my family couldn't be better all around. I have done what I consider a living amends to my mom. And that is that no matter what, when she calls, I answer, no matter how busy I am. If she checks in with me, she texts me at the most random times, like 10pm, "Are you okay?" Because she gets like a feeling, a mom feeling, and I'm like, "Yeah, I'm great, you know, we're doing this." I never get annoyed with that. I always give a long explanation of how great I am. Because I know there were times when she would text me, she'd get that feeling and she'd be like, "He's dead. I know he's dead."

• 1:20:26Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 1:20:26Speaker 00

  She got calls from ambulances, from police officers. Every time she answer it, "This is the Dallas Police Department, I'm dead, my son's dead." So now, when she calls, when she wants to come visit, I say, "Yeah, come on, bring your dog, I don't care. We have three, but whatever, bring yours." That is my living amends to her, is that I will never, ever, ever deny her the opportunity to hang out with me, to talk to me, to worry about me, or anything like that. And it is really annoying, but I never show it and I do it with a smile on my face because she was my number one supporter and fan and probably the reason I ended up getting sober because of how willing she was to help me.

• 1:21:04Nick Bare?

  That's gotta be incredible for your dad to have seen your transformation, but your mom to have seen it and then, you know, watch it, watch the continued success right now.

• 1:21:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:15Nick Bare?

  Can you imagine? I mean, I have two young kids and just thinking of them going through something like that and you as a parent feeling helpless, that you can't make the decision or choice for them. And seeing just the consequences and the downward trend. And I'm sure at some point, both your parents were thinking, "This is just going to end up in," like you said, "his death."

• 1:21:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, they did.

• 1:21:43Nick Bare?

  Like, what you're doing now was never an option or a possibility. And for both your parents to have seen and see that right now. Has to bring just like so much contentment and joy and happiness. So like, I know you did it for yourself to get better. But just like recognizing you gave your parents their life back as well.

• 1:22:10Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 1:22:11Nick Bare?

  It's a powerful choice.

• 1:22:12Speaker 00

  Just what you said, I gave them their life back because, I mean, they practically went broke sending me to rehab. They practically like, I mean, obviously lost sleep and, and stress and potentially could have cost my dad's career, like all of these things that they gave up for over, for about a decade to try and get their only son better. Yes, the answer, today I can't tell you how much relief and peace and joy and just like contentment, like you said, is, is that, that knowing that they know that I'm okay. That my dad died, knowing that I was here for my mom, here for my family, whatever comes my way, I'm gonna be good. Because I'd handled a lot throughout sobriety.

• 1:22:53Speaker 00

  The one thing that I thought might take me out, like that I always worried in early sobriety was like the death of a parent. Like, how am I gonna stay sober through the death of a parent? My dad, I, I watched, like they, he had a, he went into cardiac arrest. They brought him to the hospital, they, they obviously got his heart going again, but at that point, his brain had like, he was, been gone too long and, um, so he was on a ventilator and, or like the breathing machine and everything and I walked in and I just saw and I was like, god damn, this is fucking awful, take him off of that, like, that is the worst thing I've ever seen. But to be able to do that and be there for my mom and just like, yes, I can't even tell you how incredible it feels.

• 1:23:34Speaker 00

  Probably the biggest gift in sobriety was that, is my dad going, knowing that I'm okay and my mom today, knowing that I'm okay.

• 1:23:42Nick Bare?

  Yeah, like hearing that story, I'm happy for you, obviously, but I'm just as equally happy for your parents.

• 1:23:49Speaker 00

  It affects the whole family. Addiction affects the whole family. I've seen it on both sides because my dad was also an addict and an alcoholic. It just destroys families because everyone's worried. My aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone, everyone was worried. But yeah, it's, they're okay now and they're okay with, they know I'm okay.

• 1:24:07Nick Bare?

  That's good.

• 1:24:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:09Nick Bare?

  So Go One More is obviously very meaningful to me and this brand. But I can't help just to pull the parallels between like your journey, your story and what going more might mean to you outside of just fitness.

• 1:24:22Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, has a lot.

• 1:24:24Nick Bare?

  Can you kind of like, what is that? What does go one more mean to you? Cause all I keep thinking about as you're telling the story is just like the going more ultra, getting through addiction and becoming sober. It has to be like one decision, one step, one day at a time.

• 1:24:44Speaker 00

  One thousand.

• 1:24:44Nick Bare?

  Over and over and over and over and over again.

• 1:24:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:51Speaker 00

  I wanted to start it with like, when I joined the company, when I joined as an ambassador, I thought it was really cool. I thought you were really cool, but I was like, you know, whatever. Fast forward a year or two, I'm still just an ambassador. This is probably 2021 or something. I'm all in like, I'm starting to see I, what you know, what changed everything was meeting the people, meeting the employees, getting to know you really well, and then meeting the athletes and it was at that time it was ambassadors. We had the ambassador program, meeting the other ambassadors. I was like, these are people who want to do what I want to do. And I, from that point on, I went all in. I drank the Kool-Aid and I went.

• 1:25:29Nick Bare?

  I remember that.

• 1:25:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, I went all into this company. And it truly, I do think it changed everything. And Nick, you're one of those people who have no idea how much you have been a part of my journey. I mean, I think I tell you almost every time, but like, let me go back to the going more. But, uh, yes, in fitness, obviously go one more is like my whole thing. Like I'll, I'll, I'll keep going until, and I do that to a fault almost in workouts is that like, I'm going to do one more. I'm going to go one more and I'm going to do it as hard as I can. But then, moving forward, my career, sobriety,

• 1:26:10Speaker 00

  every single thing that I've kind of accomplished has been small steps in the right direction, just one more time. Just like today, if the most I can do is just one step in the right direction, that's great. And that's fitness, that's my relationships, that's my career.

• 1:26:26Speaker 00

  It is all that. It's all just like, if the worst, and I have bad days, obviously, like I'm very, I've never had a real, real job. Like, obviously, I work jobs, but like, this is, I've found my career. And I get really, really stressed. Like, I have real life stress now. But if all I can do is just go one more in the right direction, then it's a win. And no matter what, I do that every single day, if that's minimum, if that's all I can do, it's a win. And sometimes it is all I can do. But yeah, since sobriety, even before, even like sobriety, one more day. What they told me was like, I had my sponsors like, "Hey, you wanna use today? Just go one more day. Tomorrow, if you still wanna use, use." And every single time, I didn't. In workouts, and in marathons, and in the ultra,

• 1:27:12Speaker 00

  every marathon I run, the Olympic trials, when I qualified, I said, "Okay, I'm, I'm stop, I gotta stop. I'm stepping off the course. Okay, I'm gonna go one more mile. If I still feel this way in the next mile, I'll quit." And I never do. So yes, your, your whole "go one more" thing is literally applied in every aspect of my life.

• 1:27:31Nick Bare?

  I couldn't help but think about just like, how directly tied and parallel.

• 1:27:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:38Nick Bare?

  Like, you are a living example of everything we believe in, and we stand for, and our values. And having you a part of the team is so meaningful and important to me, because you truly embody and embrace all of it.

• 1:27:52Speaker 00

  I hopped, I drank the Kool-Aid and hopped on the bandwagon, like, and I'll be the first to admit that, like, I was not on the bandwagon before. I mean, I thought it was cool, but man, I went all in. And really, like,

• 1:28:05Speaker 00

  The parallels between like my life and then my my BPN life are so similar.

• 1:28:12Speaker 00

  I I just it's like unreal because it really did. First of all, it gave me community and confidence and friends and fitness and and then I started this whole thing in real estate. And it was the same kind of thing. It was I applied myself in the exact same way and it it led to success. And I really do think that it can lead to success in anything you do.

• 1:28:31Nick Bare?

  I love watching you crush the real estate game. Dude, when you post like how many homes you sold and like leading the team. You know, just like in such a competitive market in the space to watch you crush it. When I see you post that kind of stuff, I like. Under the table, I'm like, yes.

• 1:28:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, well.

• 1:28:51Nick Bare?

  Yes.

• 1:28:52Speaker 00

  You know, most people look at you for your athletic achievements. I do look at you for the those reasons.

• 1:29:00Speaker 00

  But more so, man, it's balancing the fitness on top of running a business, on top of having a family. That's where I'm just like.

• 1:29:09Speaker 00

  Role model.

• 1:29:10Nick Bare?

  Appreciate that.

• 1:29:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, dude, that's that is the most incredible thing I've ever seen. And I try and and do what you and if if you can do it, we can do it. And if we can find time, if you can find time, we can find time.

• 1:29:20Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:29:20Speaker 00

  You told me you said that once, if it's important to you, you'll make time. And that has stuck with me forever. If something's important to me, I fucking make time. As busy as I am, I don't care. I will make time if it's important.

• 1:29:30Nick Bare?

  Mitch, I'm very proud to call you a friend.

• 1:29:34Speaker 00

  Thanks.

• 1:29:35Nick Bare?

  This conversation has been well overdue.

• 1:29:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:29:38Nick Bare?

  Glad we were finally able to sit down and have it.

• 1:29:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:29:40Nick Bare?

  And just watching you. Grow and. Crush it and watching. Yeah, your marriage between you and Jordy just like. Evolve and develop and. I just I'm just really happy that you're winning.

• 1:29:57Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:29:57Nick Bare?

  Right now. And it brings me a lot of joy.

• 1:29:59Speaker 00

  Well, I I I have a lot of joy. It brings me a lot of joy being a part of all this. Like, it truly has changed. I I said earlier that I don't that there are a number of things that saved my life. Dude, BPN, man, like. I seriously believe it changed everything. Like, I really just... It taught me how to work. Like, I had role models to follow. Remember, I told you, I find the role models and I put myself there.

• 1:30:23Nick Bare?

  Yep.

• 1:30:24Speaker 00

  And I follow. I do exactly what they say. I say, "How'd you do this?" And I just follow it to a T. And it works, and it works. Wherever I'm trying to go, every step higher I try and take, I just find someone that I want to be like. I ask them questions and I do what they do.

• 1:30:38Nick Bare?

  Mitch, brother, thank you.

• 1:30:40Speaker 00

  Thank you.