Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast Girls Night Out! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley About this episode Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley to talk about a Girls Night Out, It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
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Transcript 12,848 words · 5 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 H. Foley? I got a question for all you bozos and homies out there. Do you think you're garbage? Well, come find out the boys are about to hit the road for that Back on the Block Tour. We're starting out there on the left coast, baby.
0:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, we got San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea. Then we got Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore, Philadelphia, at the Met, Rochester, Toronto. Guys, get your tickets now. These will sell out. We love you. They'll see you on the road.
0:26 Speaker 02 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
0:46 H. Foley? Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
0:51 Speaker 01 Garbage.
0:52 H. Foley? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they're going to be classy.
0:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:57 H. Foley? But they're just a big old piece of trash.
0:58 Speaker 01 Trash, trash, trash.
0:59 H. Foley? I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. I just saw her down at the coffee shop.
1:05 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:06 H. Foley? Working on her new screenplay.
1:07 Speaker 01 How good for her.
1:08 H. Foley? Coming-of-age story.
1:09 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:10 H. Foley? About a small, large-headed boy.
1:12 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:13 H. Foley? Bald, bald, young man. My co-host's coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it. He's my best pal in the whole wide world. He's the king of the burbs. He's the king of the boards, king of the eyebrows. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
1:30 Speaker 01 What up, gang? Shout out to you. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video over there on Spotify. And the boy, get out your ladders, because the boys are climbing the charts.
1:41 H. Foley? 35 in comedy, 135 top podcasts all around.
1:46 Speaker 01 Is that what you do every morning?
1:47 H. Foley? That's what I do.
1:47 Speaker 01 You wake up?
1:48 H. Foley? I check the trades and see what's going on. Variety, where you at? Sure. They're doing a hit piece on us.
1:54 Speaker 01 Hit piece on you.
1:56 H. Foley? Something. What do I gotta do?
1:59 Speaker 01 Ended an episode earlier, so. He had somewhere to go. He was on a tight schedule. Uh, then obviously the greatest-
2:08 H. Foley? Taking drugs or tanking episodes? Can't get on the list here.
2:12 Speaker 01 Jesus Christ, when Hollywood hit me up. The guy had to go, he had to be in Brooklyn by seven, it was 6:30, okay? Uh, obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. It's not your garbage, you over go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.
2:28 H. Foley? Yes, sir, I'm not on drugs.
2:30 Speaker 01 Unless you got them.
2:32 H. Foley? Let's take a quick bite, come down the hall, grab a water, grab a coffee.
2:36 Speaker 01 We gotta pop in and talk to the suits, cuz they're getting fucking shattered out here.
2:41 H. Foley? Huh, take a walk by the corner office, there he is, fresh back from the Hamptons.
2:45 Speaker 01 This guy, Hamptons, Connecticut.
2:47 H. Foley? Yeah, US Open, you went to it all, huh? You guys should try it sometime.
2:52 Speaker 01 Buddy, I'm in, I'm getting fucking walloped out here.
2:55 H. Foley? Did you have one of those melon balls over at the US Open? No, I didn't go, my girl went. Ah. Who was she there with, Andy Roddick or something like that? A good looking kid. Everyone went. Every, everybody goes out there, saw Spike Lee was out there. You guys gotta take me to cooler places. I worked there one year.
3:11 Speaker 01 You take us to, we stink.
3:13 H. Foley? Yeah, what?
3:14 Speaker 01 He can take us to the restaurant he used to work at, and I can get you on a roof of anti-acne in the tri-state area.
3:19 H. Foley? Not a joint closed, that's the rent of closed sadly. Great restaurant in West Village, shout out to it. Things are changing, what are you gonna do? Yeah, I worked there one year at the US Open, I was supposed to get a cushy job working down on the floor at like the fucking, uh, Lowenbrow, or the, the Heineken bar, and they fucking stuck me up in the nosebleeds, I was serving hot chocolates.
3:40 Speaker 01 In the summer?
3:41 H. Foley? With criminals.
3:42 Speaker 01 Jesus Christ, that's a tough-
3:44 H. Foley? They would come and check our drawer like every five minutes, make sure nobody was stealing.
3:48 Speaker 01 That's a tough sell in August.
3:49 H. Foley? It was a cold Sunday and I only did it once. Then I bitched at the kid that gave me the job, he's like, what the fuck, I offered you a job, you told me you guys gonna be down, fucking working on a Heineken floor, my buddy got me the job. Bitched at him too.
4:01 Speaker 01 You bitched a lot of people, I'm picking up.
4:04 H. Foley? Yeah, it was a chilly night, and then fucking one dickhead, fucking probably one of his parents' friends or something like that, comes upstairs and says, hey, let me get a hot chocolate, it's a chilly night, then all of a sudden it became the thing. All the rich people were coming up to get the hot chocolates. I'll have a hot chocolate too. Fucking dumb bitch.
4:22 Speaker 01 Give me all your money.
4:28 H. Foley? Fucking blackjack your husband and take your wallet lady, fuck out of my face.
4:32 Speaker 01 Have you ever been with a dude with the, from the wrong side of the tracks?
4:35 H. Foley? I got hard real quick.
4:38 Speaker 01 Ever been with a guy with no upper teeth?
4:43 Speaker 01 Why don't you come back to my place in Astoria, it's pretty close.
4:48 H. Foley? I didn't live in Astoria at the time, I was in Sunnyside.
4:51 Speaker 01 Oh wow.
4:51 H. Foley? By myself.
4:54 Speaker 01 Even closer.
4:55 H. Foley? Fucking guy's coming up, give me the fucking, me and Ronnie about to roll you dickhead. Fucking straighten you out. It's a kid I was working with. My only friend. Somebody did get busted fucking stealing. It was all cash.
5:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, what are you talking to?
5:08 H. Foley? It was like the Lufthansa heist.
5:09 Speaker 01 Before computer, you could walk out with 400 grand.
5:14 Speaker 01 Bully! You're just stealing hot chocolates. You bring a thermos to work?
5:18 H. Foley? I'm dressed up like a cop.
5:22 Speaker 01 You're dressed up like a tennis player.
5:24 H. Foley? Ronnie, I'll meet you back at the rendezvous. Wow, I just met you dude.
5:28 H. Foley? So you had a nice weekend then, huh? Lovely. Prick.
5:33 H. Foley? I love you buddy. You never brought me any of that fruit, you're going to that fucking fancy fruit stand out there in Long Island. Round Swamp. Yeah, you never bought, the watermelon looked delicious, you don't bring me strawberries or nothing. Could have took some of them strawberry seeds and have a rich people with strawberries, plant your own. That's how you get in there.
5:51 Speaker 01 What a dirtbag move. Take rich people strawberries, plant the seeds, just fucking buy it. What are you doing?
5:58 H. Foley? No, you get them delivered from Japan, they don't send you the seeds, they take all the seeds out of the strawberries, because they know that's what you're gonna do. And they don't want you to fucking start opening up your own operation, in order to keep getting fucking hammered up in fucking Shanghai.
6:11 H. Foley? There's a lot of fruit like that.
6:12 Speaker 01 Okay, I thought that meant what the fuck?
6:14 H. Foley? Never had a pink pineapple?
6:16 Speaker 01 No.
6:16 H. Foley? You gotta come down to the lollipop club with me.
6:21 H. Foley? You gotta come down to Eastville to see Rudy.
6:24 Speaker 01 I'm like, get fucked up.
6:28 H. Foley? I can't stop doing that.
6:31 H. Foley? Alright, let's quit screwing around here. Family episodes.
6:34 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
6:34 H. Foley? Pinhead, questions, go!
6:40 Speaker 01 You're lucky.
6:43 Speaker 01 I, uh, I was, as you know, I was down the shore this past weekend, uh, hanging out with Denise, right?
6:49 H. Foley? The Peace.
6:50 Speaker 01 And, uh, she, the old staple of my childhood, we made, we had, uh, as a, as a, as a, as a portion of dinner.
6:58 H. Foley? Really? Hold on, can I guess it?
6:59 Speaker 01 Sure.
7:00 H. Foley? Now, you're a picky eater.
7:02 Speaker 01 Sure.
7:02 H. Foley? Larger boy.
7:05 Speaker 01 Bit of a fatass. Yeah?
7:08 H. Foley? The middle slices of a loaf of white bread.
7:10 Speaker 01 Man, you're, I mean, you're, you're in the world.
7:13 H. Foley? You ever take them?
7:13 Speaker 01 You're in, it's a carbohydrate.
7:15 H. Foley? You ever, you ever take them and boil them up?
7:17 Speaker 01 Aw, man, nothing was better than a, a Stroman.
7:21 H. Foley? Yeah, all crushed up, man. Why was that so, it's weird that we did that.
7:25 Speaker 01 I know, it turns, after a while, it turns into a jawbreaker. You get a hole in your tongue eating that, trying to lick that thing.
7:32 H. Foley? See a sparrow try to eat that.
7:34 Speaker 01 She had a bag of Amor- what?
7:36 H. Foley? What?
7:37 Speaker 01 She just burped through twice baked potato?
7:39 H. Foley? Excuse me, I apologize, look at that.
7:41 Speaker 01 That sour cream's working overtime.
7:44 H. Foley? I was gonna say-
7:44 Speaker 01 You think about food and get affected by it?
7:48 H. Foley? Think about turkey, I get sleepy. I was thinking, uh, twice baked potato.
7:53 Speaker 01 Nah.
7:53 H. Foley? She had Amoroso rolls.
7:55 Speaker 01 We had Amoroso, she had Amoroso, a bag of, this bag, okay, you know, what is it? Probably like, uh, eight, the bag of eight? The small little banger, the club rolls, right, I'm just saying.
8:05 H. Foley? The, the footballs. Call them footballs.
8:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, they're not football shaped, they're little snub-nosed, but, John.
8:11 H. Foley? Yeah.
8:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, whatever.
8:12 H. Foley? About three inches. Four inches.
8:14 Speaker 01 Yeah. Depends who you're talking to. Soft, hard?
8:19 H. Foley? Let's go.
8:20 Speaker 01 She had a bag of them, cause she had a party, uh-
8:22 H. Foley? Garlic bread, she made garlic bread with them.
8:24 Speaker 01 Cause they were, they were kinda stale. They were like, not good enough for, cause you know, you're talking, the party was eight days from dinner. So them, they're, I don't know when she bought them, when they got put in the bag, when they came out of the oven, but it's well over a week.
8:41 Speaker 01 So they weren't good for a Sammy.
8:42 H. Foley? Nah.
8:43 Speaker 01 I mean, listen.
8:44 H. Foley? I should toast them. And that's fucking whack.
8:46 Speaker 01 Threw them in the oven.
8:48 H. Foley? Little butter.
8:49 Speaker 01 A little butter, garlic, onion.
8:51 H. Foley? Garlic, salt, garlic, garlic.
8:53 Speaker 01 Garlic powder.
8:54 H. Foley? Yeah, she did.
8:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, garlic and onion powder, I think.
8:57 H. Foley? She's a good girl.
8:58 Speaker 01 Man.
8:59 H. Foley? Fucking early 2000s, nobody's got time to fucking mince.
9:02 Speaker 01 It took me.
9:02 H. Foley? Chop.
9:03 Speaker 01 That's crazy. It took me back. The smell. I came out of the shower. I might as well been in 8th grade going to Mr. Feen- Mr. Mr. Feeney's, uh, social studies class.
9:13 H. Foley? Just those and a little spaghetti sauce and I'm good with a coke.
9:16 Speaker 01 It was awful.
9:16 H. Foley? Let's go.
9:17 Speaker 01 Dude, cause the inside don't get cooked.
9:19 H. Foley? Ah.
9:20 Speaker 01 God damn.
9:21 H. Foley? Man.
9:21 Speaker 01 Just brown.
9:22 H. Foley? What else did you have? Just that?
9:24 Speaker 01 I just, I just had that and a baked potato.
9:26 H. Foley? No, you didn't. A baked potato?
9:30 Speaker 01 I had the baby. I had the, I was on baby duty.
9:33 H. Foley? Did you really have a baked potato?
9:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, I had a piece of chicken too.
9:36 H. Foley? Little piece. Wait, hold on. So it was chicken, a baked potato and garlic bread?
9:40 Speaker 01 Uh, and some vegetables.
9:41 H. Foley? The fuck is that?
9:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:43 H. Foley? It's a weird dish.
9:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, it was kinda.
9:44 H. Foley? It's a weird ensemble?
9:46 Speaker 01 Okay, I mean, it's not that crazy.
9:47 H. Foley? No spaghetti?
9:48 Speaker 01 No.
9:50 H. Foley? Garlic bread, no spaghetti? What am I, nuts?
9:52 Speaker 01 No, I mean, okay, remove the garlic bread. It's a normal thing. I think she made the garlic bread cause it was.
9:56 H. Foley? Just to get rid of it.
9:57 Speaker 01 You gotta get rid of, you gotta get rid of the bread. End of the summer, you can throw, you can't throw out fucking six amaroso rolls.
10:02 H. Foley? You know, everybody kept saying that, um, that last weekend was the last weekend.
10:07 Speaker 01 Who's everybody?
10:09 H. Foley? A lot of.
10:09 Speaker 01 The three guys you talked to?
10:10 H. Foley? A lot, I talked to a lot of people this week. Yes, I did. Had an active weekend.
10:17 Speaker 01 Okay.
10:18 H. Foley? Fitness wise and socially.
10:22 H. Foley? Last weekend, everybody said last weekend was the last weekend of the summer. It's not. This weekend coming up is the last weekend of the summer.
10:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, I just think for a lot of people, like, school started.
10:34 Speaker 01 My sister's a teacher.
10:36 H. Foley? I hear you fucking typing over there, you fucking backstabbing. Actually, it's the.
10:40 Speaker 01 I think it was the last weekend, a lot of people.
10:42 H. Foley? I know why I'm giving you shit.
10:43 Speaker 01 I don't know, yeah, relax. Jesus fucking Christ.
10:46 H. Foley? That's a good kid.
10:47 Speaker 01 A lot of people said it's the last weekend, people could go away. Kids start school again.
10:51 H. Foley? Right.
10:51 Speaker 01 Like, my nephew's in Catholic school, he went back already. So, a lot of the Catholic schools in the full Delfi area are back. So, no one's.
10:59 H. Foley? Archdiocese.
11:00 Speaker 01 The archdiocese.
11:01 H. Foley? Mm-hmm. No kidding.
11:04 H. Foley? Huh. I know a lot of people that are going down the shore this weekend.
11:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, don't, listen, these aren't steadfast rules. I just think, you know, a lot of people were like, I can't go down the shore anymore. The kids are back in full swing, they got school. Listen, I did that one year, I think, where we went away Monday, or Sunday, and then had school on Monday. That's like going from vacation to school the next day. Might as well be like fucking eating too much turkey.
11:29 H. Foley? I never could go.
11:29 Speaker 01 Sunburnt and school sucks.
11:31 H. Foley? I never could go.
11:32 Speaker 01 Okay.
11:33 H. Foley? Football camp.
11:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:37 H. Foley? Labor Day night, we'd all meet at the, at the field.
11:40 Speaker 01 Oh, kiss each other?
11:45 H. Foley? No. It'd be the end of camp.
11:47 Speaker 01 Defense versus defense, if you catch my drift. Run a nine-man scrimmage, nine on nine.
11:51 H. Foley? Shirts versus buttholes.
11:55 H. Foley? It was the end of summer camp, and, and the camp, football camp.
11:58 Speaker 01 Do you think we want to hear this fucking high school war story?
12:01 H. Foley? It's not a war story. We'd just, we'd run the whole field. We'd go from like the.
12:05 Speaker 01 So, it's, it's a story where you look cool in high school?
12:08 H. Foley? No, we'd run from one end zone to the other, and then we'd just keep going.
12:11 Speaker 01 So, we'd go each other's buttholes? Take it to the end zone?
12:14 H. Foley? Go for two. Alright, whatever.
12:17 Speaker 01 No, no, please, continue.
12:19 H. Foley? That's it.
12:20 Speaker 01 You just want to do that, you ran from one end zone to the other? We'd meet up on the field as an unspoken bond.
12:27 H. Foley? No, I just couldn't go down the shore.
12:30 Speaker 01 Because you had to run 100 yards?
12:31 H. Foley? It was, you had practice.
12:34 H. Foley? We'd practice the night before school started. School started on Tuesday. Labor Day's on a Monday. Right?
12:41 Speaker 01 Think so, yeah.
12:42 H. Foley? Yeah. So we'd all meet up that Monday. We're not meet up. We're talking about practice?
12:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're saying meet up. I don't know.
12:48 H. Foley? We'd practice. We all would be there.
12:49 Speaker 01 We spent way too much time on one football practice that was 42 years ago. Alright, everybody, no one cares. We know you play football. It's okay. We're proud of you. I'm still proud of you that you played football.
13:02 H. Foley? Thank you.
13:03 Speaker 01 I just don't need to hear about it.
13:06 H. Foley? Shooting a movie in the fault, then.
13:10 H. Foley? Play gay porn. Hey! That's this weekend.
13:16 Speaker 01 Uh, alright, that's neither here nor there, gang.
13:19 H. Foley? Talk to me.
13:19 Speaker 01 We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. As you know, when you join the old Patreon. You get to ask your garbage question. Uh, this one, I don't know if we've ever hit the nail on the head with this. We've talked about this. This is, they had a great name, Jehovah Thickness.
13:37 Speaker 01 You ever brag about how fast you've been in a car? That's a dirtbag.
13:42 H. Foley? Cut it to about 110?
13:43 Speaker 01 I remember the one, we hit 104 when I was too young. I was a kid.
13:48 H. Foley? Scare you.
13:48 Speaker 01 And my dad's friend was a union delegate and he had a Cadillac through the union.
13:56 H. Foley? He was an adult?
13:57 Speaker 01 Yeah. And he had a-
13:59 H. Foley? That's crazy.
14:00 Speaker 01 He had a white Cadillac, I don't know, something. And I never, this is the first time I-
14:05 H. Foley? Like a big boy or like a newer one?
14:07 Speaker 01 Big, new, it was brand new because it had a digital speedometer and this is probably like 92.
14:12 H. Foley? No, but like it didn't look like an Eldorado or something like that?
14:16 Speaker 01 No, it was like a big new, I don't know what they would have been in. Find out what Cadillac they were making in the 90s. It was a big white-
14:22 H. Foley? It was like that newer model type?
14:24 Speaker 01 I guess, I don't remember.
14:25 H. Foley? Not like a Coupe de Ville?
14:26 Speaker 01 No, it was like a big, I don't know. I guess the equivalent now would be like the STS they had, they made for a while.
14:33 H. Foley? De Ville and Fleetwood, it seems like. Because those new Cadillacs are pretty nice, the ones that look like regular sedans?
14:38 Speaker 01 That's the ST, that was the STS.
14:40 H. Foley? The one Paulie Walnut strode, didn't he drive something like that?
14:42 Speaker 01 That was the STS and the CTS. CTS was more the Coupe. The STS was more, that's what it looked like, the bigger.
14:46 H. Foley? I got you.
14:47 Speaker 01 But this is early 90s.
14:50 Speaker 01 Fleetwood Cadillac.
14:50 H. Foley? I wouldn't say big. Compared to a Cadillac, a Cadillac's fucking huge. An old Cadillac's huge.
14:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, whatever. I don't have, I don't have the dimensions of a 1974 fucking-
14:59 H. Foley? I'm just saying I wouldn't refer to it as big, that's all.
15:01 Speaker 01 It was a big car. That's what I, it was a, because there was like five of us in the backseat, jumping around.
15:07 H. Foley? Chicks?
15:08 Speaker 01 And going away to football practice.
15:10 H. Foley? That's what I'm talking about.
15:12 Speaker 01 And he hit like a hundred and, I mean, I remember the digital speedometer going up and I-
15:16 H. Foley? You must have been shitting in your pants.
15:17 Speaker 01 Oh, I was so, and all the kids were jumping and Scott wanted to be like, where is my dad at? This is eerie.
15:23 H. Foley? He wasn't with you?
15:23 Speaker 01 No. We were driving back. A guy probably had a couple of beers in him too.
15:27 H. Foley? Wow. That's crazy.
15:29 Speaker 01 I mean, nighttime? I'm driving with this guy? Shout out, great guy. Uh, yeah.
15:36 H. Foley? Ours was probably a hundred and ten on the Atlantic City Expressway.
15:40 Speaker 01 Woo!
15:41 H. Foley? Coming back from the shore, uh, older buddy of ours, R.I.P., was driving, fucked up. Fucked up, drinking Gatorade-
15:51 Speaker 01 It's never good.
15:52 H. Foley? Gatorade and vodka out of a Gatorade squeeze bottle. Got up to about a hundred and ten for about ten seconds. And he was immediately hit like a screech so he didn't kill us. Pull over, fucking swapped him out.
16:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, there's a thing I think like in most, you get around the ninety, do a, like, there's something in the hu- in most humans' bodies where you're like-
16:15 H. Foley? Ninety, I start freaking out.
16:17 Speaker 01 Where you're like, it just, the things are moving quicker than you, like, you're, it's, it starts to get fucking-
16:22 H. Foley? But it's funny, in like the Jeep, if you get to eighty-three on the Jersey Turnpike, it, it's nothing.
16:28 Speaker 01 I know.
16:29 H. Foley? Got that rack and pinion, rack and pinion steering something.
16:32 Speaker 01 They're smoother now, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
16:34 H. Foley? Cruising.
16:34 Speaker 01 That is a dirt bike, to know that, to know and brag about it for sure, but I respect it.
16:39 H. Foley? Did you ever freak out when you were driving fast? When somebody was driving fast?
16:43 Speaker 01 Uh, I'll, I mean, I've done it in the van when Dee, when Ryan D was driving, where I'm like, dude, he were like, I was like, dude, I'm like, dude, there's no, he hit the, we were going too fast, he hit the brakes pretty quick, I was like, hey man, there's no reason we need to be doing eighty-eight miles an hour. Fucking end up back there in the future.
16:58 H. Foley? On an off-ramp. Kip, you know about this Pretty Litter?
16:59 Speaker 01 I don't. Please inform me about Pretty Litter. Yeah, of course I know about Pretty Litter, but tell the folks out there.
17:05 H. Foley? Well, you're not a kitty cat man. I'm a kitty cat man. I got a nice kitty cat at home. I got a nice cat at home. For all my cat people out there, I know you hate to hear me say kitty cat, but that's what I got is a kitty cat at home. And she loves her Pretty Litter.
17:15 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
17:16 H. Foley? It's the best litter on the market.
17:17 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
17:18 H. Foley? I'm gonna give you a few reasons why.
17:20 Speaker 01 Hit me.
17:20 H. Foley? One, first and foremost, the crystals.
17:23 Speaker 01 Woo!
17:23 H. Foley? It's all about the crystals.
17:24 Speaker 01 Silica gel crystals.
17:26 H. Foley? Cat has a urinary tract infection or something like that, gives you a little warning. That doesn't diagnose it, but it just gives you a heads up, "Hey, get the cat down to the vet, see what's going on."
17:35 Speaker 01 Check under the hood.
17:36 H. Foley? That's number one. Number two, lasts for a month.
17:39 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
17:39 H. Foley? Fantastic. Smells great. You wouldn't even know there was a kitty cat in my house. But sometimes she does sneak out.
17:45 Speaker 01 (laughing) Right now, you can save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. What? At prettylitter.com/garbage. That's prettylitter.com/garbage. Save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. Prettylitter.com/garbage. Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed veterinarian, obviously. Terms and conditions apply. See the site for details.
18:08 H. Foley? Yeah, do it. I freaked out one. I told you the Jack, I tell you the Jack Wagner story?
18:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:13 H. Foley? My cousins went to Jack Wagner, my mom was driving, I was 12 years old, there was like five of us in the backseat. And she started, my mom started chasing the van that he was in, through the parking lot at the Valley Forge Convention Center. Yeah, doing like fucking 60 miles an hour to get him. Everybody was smoking. I freaked out. Ruined the night.
18:31 Speaker 01 Pull over.
18:32 H. Foley? Oh, I was ready to kill her. Fucking dumb shit she did.
18:36 Speaker 01 It's like a 30 for 30, the Jack Wagner story.
18:38 Speaker 03 I know.
18:41 H. Foley? He's a big star at the time, you wouldn't know.
18:43 Speaker 01 You better not crash, I got football meetup in the morning.
18:45 H. Foley? No, it was before I played football. I wasn't doing crying in high school. I was probably like 12 or 11 when this happened.
18:51 Speaker 01 That's way cooler. (laughing) Yeah, I was smoking cigarettes at 12. You were fucking, you were chasing down a soap opera, starting to blow them.
18:59 H. Foley? No, I, well, stop saying that.
19:01 Speaker 01 She was.
19:02 H. Foley? No, my mom was.
19:03 Speaker 01 No one's chasing them down for an autograph. No one's doing 60 to get an autograph. (laughing)
19:08 H. Foley? Trying to get some of that dick.
19:10 Speaker 01 (laughing)
19:11 H. Foley? My mom, no, my mom was, she was doing it for my cousins.
19:14 Speaker 01 Uh-huh. Okay.
19:15 H. Foley? They're respectable ladies.
19:16 Speaker 01 I didn't say anything.
19:18 H. Foley? And some of her friends were there. I feel like they never let me live it down.
19:21 Speaker 01 A lot of tube tops, oh.
19:22 H. Foley? (sigh) Man.
19:26 Speaker 01 Simply done.
19:29 H. Foley? Shout out to Gina and the girls.
19:32 H. Foley? Ache macha.
19:33 Speaker 01 This one's for Melly Mel. He's ever had a turf war with another neighborhood kid. Oh my god dude, so bad.
19:40 H. Foley? What?
19:40 Speaker 01 Growing up, there was a spot down the road near a canal that we always hung out at until one day a random new kid just showed up. And tried to assert his dominance. It got ugly. Words were exchanged and I ended up spitting on him and ran away on my bike.
19:56 H. Foley? Oh man, nothing like a good spitting ride.
20:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, we had it, there was like a basin and behind, there was a basin behind us and there was the kids on that street whose house is backed up to all, like, the basin on the one side, our house is backed up on the other, not mine, but across the street from me, backed up.
20:12 H. Foley? Retention pond or whatever.
20:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, and you didn't cross that. And if you did, and they call you, it was like the pagans in the fucking.
20:20 Speaker 01 It was like the Hells Angels in the Outlaws dude, it was fucking.
20:23 H. Foley? Really?
20:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:24 H. Foley? Like the house you're in now, that she's in now?
20:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, but like, not her side, like across.
20:30 H. Foley? Okay.
20:30 Speaker 01 It was where like two sections of the neighborhood backed up to each other.
20:33 H. Foley? Uh huh.
20:34 Speaker 01 And we didn't really know them kids and they were older. They were more like my brother's age.
20:38 H. Foley? Sure.
20:39 Speaker 01 Tough kids.
20:40 H. Foley? Yeah.
20:41 Speaker 01 They, they were tough. The kids that were tough at a young age. You're like, that kid's like fucking eight and you're like, hey, he takes boxing lessons. You're like, boxing lessons? What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Any kid that wore a wife beater was tough.
20:57 H. Foley? Had that little mustache forming?
20:59 Speaker 01 Ah, yeah. And you're like, you're fucking nine and a half.
21:02 H. Foley? It's like a 12 year old that has BO, you're like, damn, your fucking pheromones are pumping, dog.
21:06 Speaker 01 I'm fat as shit and he's balling up him, him a Rosso bread.
21:11 H. Foley? Smell like an angel though. We had three tiers of townhouse communities in our area. We had Town Line, which, which was pretty south. Then you had Meadowwick, which was a little bit worse. As far as the quality of children running around, then you had Whitpain Hills, which was fucking up the highway and man, like the sign was falling down. This was fucking a single parent city. Woo, domestic violence boulevard. Those kids were tough as nails.
21:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:43 H. Foley? Scary.
21:44 Speaker 01 Say things like, "You couldn't walk a mile in my shoes."
21:46 H. Foley? I wouldn't even go in there, dude. You had to ride your bike up fucking, up Skipback Pike to get there. It's fucking petrifying, dude. Hey, we're gonna go play football against the kids from Whitpain Hills. Like, no, no, fuck, we're in, I got Covid.
22:00 H. Foley? Fuck that. Yeah, they, they'd come rolling into town, everybody'd scatter, like dead wood.
22:06 Speaker 01 It's like Omar coming in.
22:09 H. Foley? It's funny, he got shot by a little kid.
22:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's the brilliance of it.
22:14 H. Foley? Did that kid ever get it?
22:15 Speaker 01 He's, uh, what? I don't know. The show ended.
22:19 H. Foley? Oh, that was the end of the show?
22:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think Omar died in the last episode or second to like, that was, that was the, that was the bow on it. It also goes to show, like, anybody, it's the streets.
22:28 H. Foley? Right.
22:29 Speaker 01 Anybody can get got.
22:30 H. Foley? You're not gonna tell me. Told you about the football practice. Couldn't get on his shore for Labor Day, you tell me about our times? I know what it's like.
22:40 Speaker 01 Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from, uh, Casey. $10 can't be junior diaper buyer, never had one right. A shout out to ya. Is it garbage to put A1 on a hot dog? Huh.
22:51 H. Foley? Hmm.
22:52 Speaker 01 I've only ever sauced, like, proper sauced up a dog one time. This guy Sam used to work with my dad. He was from South Carolina and knew his way around the grill.
23:01 H. Foley? Okay.
23:01 Speaker 01 And he had Sam's secret sauce.
23:03 H. Foley? Who's Sam's secret sauce?
23:05 Speaker 01 What do you mean who's Sam's? He was Sam.
23:06 H. Foley? Oh, he was Sam.
23:07 Speaker 01 And his secret sauce was something...
23:10 H. Foley? You made it sound like it was like, you know, nationwide.
23:12 Speaker 01 No, I did not. I said his, he was Sam and he had Sam's secret sauce.
23:16 H. Foley? What was it?
23:17 Speaker 01 His secret. What the fuck? He doesn't tell my fat ass. Hey, I, although he put it on hot dogs and I was very, very skeptical.
23:25 H. Foley? Was it like a ketchup? Was it like a mustard? Was it like a steak sauce?
23:28 Speaker 01 His secret sauce is a mustard? That's crazy.
23:31 H. Foley? I mustard E.
23:32 Speaker 01 No.
23:33 H. Foley? This is a fat ass.
23:36 Speaker 01 It was more of like, uh, it was a red, like a barbecue red saucy.
23:40 H. Foley? Okay.
23:41 Speaker 01 It was like liquidy, but he put.
23:42 H. Foley? It's probably just everything mixed together.
23:44 Speaker 01 Why you hating on this sauce?
23:45 H. Foley? I'm not hating on it, I'm just saying.
23:46 Speaker 01 As a guy.
23:47 H. Foley? I'm just saying.
23:48 Speaker 01 As a guy?
23:49 H. Foley? It's all just everything mixed together. Probably a little bit of A1, a little bit of ketchup, a little bit of mustard.
23:53 Speaker 01 That's what sauce is. I mean, no one's like cracking fucking atoms and making new sauces over here. It's all just shit put together.
24:01 H. Foley? There's new sauces.
24:02 Speaker 01 Why do you not like this?
24:04 H. Foley? I didn't say I didn't like it.
24:05 Speaker 01 Are you jealous that I haven't had Henry sauce? There's something, you're taking it personal.
24:10 H. Foley? I would've put little slits in the hot dogs so the flavor gets in there.
24:13 Speaker 01 That was the first time, and listen, I didn't like that. He tried that and I was not a fan of it.
24:18 H. Foley? But he turned you.
24:19 Speaker 01 Well, he made a stack of dogs with the stuff on them and I said, "You! I'm a dry diesel kinda guy around here, you're new here, alright?" And dry dogs.
24:28 H. Foley? Hey Steve, whatever your name is.
24:31 Speaker 01 Steve and your new sauce. Uh... And he then put some, like, he did one or two non... He dried dogs for me.
24:40 H. Foley? The bitch dogs.
24:41 Speaker 01 But they were on the same plate. And it got a little saucy, and I didn't like it, but there's only two dry ones, so I'm like, alright, man.
24:48 H. Foley? You gotta get two.
24:49 Speaker 01 I gotta, I gotta have my two dogs. My two dogs. That would be, that would be my autobiography.
24:56 H. Foley? My two dogs, you like this?
24:59 Speaker 01 It's a stack of dogs in front of it.
25:02 Speaker 01 Someone make that.
25:02 H. Foley? It's always two, right? Two dogs? It's two dogs.
25:06 Speaker 01 I mean, I'll do a three piece.
25:07 H. Foley? No, no, no, listen, please.
25:09 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, no one's, I'm not doing one dog.
25:10 H. Foley? Above, yeah.
25:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, minimum two dogs.
25:13 H. Foley? Yeah. Minimum at the table. Two dogs.
25:17 Speaker 01 Yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:19 H. Foley? Break that up any way you want. Put it on the outside, the inside, however you want.
25:23 Speaker 01 The two dog minimum at my table. Make sure you dip your dealers.
25:28 H. Foley? So then you got into the sauce a little bit?
25:29 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, that was the only time I really had it. It's tough to get, I mean, you do the chili, whatever, that's not like a sauce per se, um... But yeah, it was the only time, man, blew my tits, but I walked out, I said, "Sam, you got something going here." I guard someone fully thing.
25:45 H. Foley? I hate to say this. I've, and I've had it recently to try to rekindle something. I've lost my taste for A1, which as a kid, I fucking loved it. As a kid, me and my brother were huge A1 guys.
26:01 Speaker 01 That's
26:01 H. Foley? Go to the concerts, rent the videos, the whole nine yards. We loved A1. We used to take frozen hamburgers in a pan in the summer and douse them in A1 and cook them like that, like make a Salisbury steak with just the A1 sauce.
26:14 Speaker 01 That's crazy to me. To me, A1 sauce was such a grown up thing.
26:17 H. Foley? Really?
26:18 Speaker 01 That was tangy. A kid, a kid doing A1 sauce was, is wild.
26:24 H. Foley? We loved, my brother put it on burgers, mashed potatoes, everything.
26:28 Speaker 01 I get it. I'm just saying like in my head, that was like, that was for my stepdad.
26:33 H. Foley? He used to have a cup of coffee with dinner, Tito.
26:34 Speaker 01 Sure. That was like a, that was for my stepdad on special occasion. That wasn't like a daily sauce.
26:40 H. Foley? Ah, no, always.
26:41 Speaker 03 I thought kids weren't allowed to have A1 sauce.
26:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's like, I mean.
26:44 H. Foley? It got alcohol in it?
26:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, something like that.
26:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, that's wild. No one's ever been like, you want A1 sauce?
26:50 H. Foley? No kidding.
26:50 Speaker 01 And you're like, what?
26:51 H. Foley? A1 sauce.
26:52 Speaker 01 Sorry, I'm out of age. I'm just a little boy.
26:55 H. Foley? I'm in high school, lady. Um, A1 and Heinz 57 sauce was huge in our house. Huge. But now, the steak sauce has gotten a little sweeter at, you know, places. So my tongue is now.
27:12 Speaker 01 Bigger than ever.
27:14 H. Foley? Yeah, whatever. I read the comments.
27:21 Speaker 01 Me too. He had to leave.
27:25 H. Foley? And now I can't, I can't do A1 anymore. Just, it's something. On a hot dog though, hmm.
27:32 Speaker 01 I'm, I'm okay. I wouldn't, I, I wouldn't want too mu- I would just, I would need to like line the bun with it or something. Just one part of the bun to get the flavor. When the dog gets too, it gets too much. Same thing, I'm same thing with, uh, any sort of condiment on a, on a dog.
27:47 H. Foley? Sure.
27:47 Speaker 01 Same thing with a burger.
27:48 H. Foley? A1 makes you think of ground round for some reason. I feel like their burgers had like that steak sauce flavoring to them or something.
27:54 Speaker 01 I can't recall.
27:56 H. Foley? Love the smell of any, of a ground round on the outside, coming in on a, on a cool winter's day.
28:01 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
28:02 H. Foley? Or a nice fall evening, pulling in the parking lot of a ground round, smell them char bur- char broiled burgers.
28:08 Speaker 01 Char broiled.
28:10 H. Foley? You chop-broiled them burgers?
28:11 Speaker 01 Listen, my kid's outside, he's a big fat ass. You better chop-broil your burger than any one.
28:17 H. Foley? Is that how my father speaks?
28:19 Speaker 01 Is there anyone here my wife can blow?
28:21 H. Foley? Hey.
28:22 Speaker 01 Is there any local celebrity?
28:23 H. Foley? Told you she getting her knees replaced.
28:26 Speaker 01 I mean, I'm supposed not to make that joke.
28:28 H. Foley? Should be back in action.
28:32 Speaker 01 Um, alright, this one's from Wilkes-Barberian.
28:35 H. Foley? Love it.
28:35 Speaker 01 Are you garbage if your aunt was a ball girl for the local AAA team? And you remember that every game you went with her, you got to ride home with a player from the opposing team because after she dropped you off, she had to give him a ride to his hotel because he missed the team bus?
28:52 H. Foley? Oh.
28:54 Speaker 01 I did get a lot of free game balls autographed by various Toledo Mud Hens in the 88 to 89 season.
29:00 H. Foley? Whoa.
29:01 Speaker 01 Holy heck.
29:03 H. Foley? Talk about knee replacement.
29:05 Speaker 01 At, listen.
29:08 Speaker 01 That is a good gig. If that's, if, for a broad like that, if that's what she's doing, I'm not here to judge, I'm not here to shame.
29:16 H. Foley? It's the fucking 80s.
29:17 Speaker 01 Think about that, dude, there's no, this is the only remembrance that she was-
29:21 H. Foley? Probably a, probably a good-looking lady, players are probably, you know, good-looking dudes back then, man's men, that's the way it was back then.
29:28 Speaker 01 She was probably single in her mid-20s, whatever, 50s, whatever, I mean, if this kid's, she's younger.
29:36 Speaker 01 What, you know, a new guy every week? No, it's not, I doubt it's every week, maybe it is.
29:41 H. Foley? Doesn't mean that anything happened, they could've just went to the bar, had a drink.
29:48 H. Foley? Man, involving the kid though.
29:51 Speaker 01 He's dropping him off first.
29:52 H. Foley? Dropping him off, not like making him wait in the fucking car in the hotel.
29:55 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
29:56 H. Foley? What'd he made me do with Jack Wagner?
29:59 Speaker 01 I mean.
30:00 H. Foley? Sit down in the lobby for an hour.
30:03 H. Foley? I kid.
30:06 H. Foley? Ouch.
30:07 Speaker 01 Uh, this one's just wild. This was one from Wolf Tale McGee. Is it garbage to brush your teeth when you want something sweet, but you're too broke to buy anything?
30:14 H. Foley? I respect that move.
30:16 Speaker 01 Well, that's, I guess that scratches the itch.
30:18 H. Foley? It not even scratches.
30:19 Speaker 01 Or is it prevent the?
30:20 H. Foley? It prevents it. Sometimes you-
30:22 Speaker 01 You would just go like, now I can't eat anything. I can't want anything.
30:26 H. Foley? Brush your teeth. That's why-
30:28 Speaker 01 Whoa, that's pretty good.
30:29 H. Foley? I've heard somebody that was in shape does that. They brush their teeth.
30:32 Speaker 01 Cause then you don't want to eat.
30:34 H. Foley? Yeah, right after dinner.
30:35 Speaker 01 And nothing's good.
30:36 H. Foley? Yeah.
30:36 Speaker 01 Whoa.
30:37 H. Foley? Some guy that does it after lunch or something like that, so they don't eat sweets or anything like that. Yeah. Cause I prefer.
30:46 Speaker 01 What? What do you, what? This just in, ladies and gentlemen, clear the floor.
30:52 H. Foley? In the morning, I prefer to brush my teeth after I have my breakfast.
30:57 Speaker 01 Oh, 100%. I don't brush my teeth until I leave the house. I'm getting ready to leave the house.
31:00 H. Foley? Yeah.
31:00 Speaker 01 I like my coffee.
31:02 H. Foley? I learned that from, uh, grade school.
31:04 Speaker 01 What do you mean?
31:05 H. Foley? Fucking brushing my teeth when I'm upstairs, then coming down to fucking, trying to put down a fucking Sunny D.
31:09 Speaker 01 Spitting in your mom's face.
31:11 H. Foley? Teeth fall out.
31:12 Speaker 01 Fuck that.
31:13 H. Foley? Fucking get you.
31:16 H. Foley? Kills it.
31:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, I never, I'm always, I mean, I think I used to brush my teeth going to school downstairs, like in the pal, like the first floor bathroom. I think we used to keep it because we'd eat breakfast and then like, as you're walking, you know, get a fucking good scrub of dub dub.
31:34 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
31:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:38 Speaker 01 If I'm not leaving the house, I don't get street ready. I ain't showering, I ain't brushing, I ain't doing nothing.
31:44 H. Foley? Really? So long as you're going to brushing your teeth, would you say?
31:47 Speaker 01 In recent? Not a cou- I mean, if it's a couple days, I'm like, sick.
31:53 Speaker 01 It would, I, I don't know. I don't have it documented, but like-
31:58 Speaker 01 I brush them in the morning, go to bed drunk. I'm not brushing them drunk.
32:02 H. Foley? Sure.
32:02 Speaker 01 Wake up, hungover and I'm just couching it.
32:05 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
32:06 Speaker 01 Getting, I haven't done this in a long time.
32:08 H. Foley? Juice, bacon, egg and cheese.
32:09 Speaker 01 Getting everything delivered or running right out, getting it and coming back up and eating and going back to bed.
32:14 H. Foley? Like a little rat.
32:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:17 Speaker 01 Uh, yeah, then that-
32:18 H. Foley? You never saw me.
32:19 Speaker 01 Maybe to the next morning, if I'm like, proper, that's like if my wife's away. We're not, we're qua- I'm not doing spa- I'm not, I'm not leaving the house. Except to go get more food. Like I like it.
32:31 H. Foley? I respect it.
32:33 Speaker 01 Rolling in my fucking, my tumbleweed of brown paper bags and tinfoil sandwich rolls.
32:40 H. Foley? Making, making a nest out of sandwich wrappers?
32:45 H. Foley? Your wife's putting umbrella pads all around the place, so you can't get through the holes?
32:50 Speaker 01 Little rat. I said only doing she's not there. That would, that wouldn't fly with her. I lean in for a smooch and she hits you with a, "Get the hell out of here."
32:57 H. Foley? Yeah?
32:58 Speaker 01 I mean, if I'm, yeah, kick, I'd do the same thing. Sniff on her, I'd give her the Heisman. What? You make it sound like you've never had bad breath because you haven't brushed your teeth in the morning.
33:08 H. Foley? Very bad.
33:09 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, I know.
33:10 H. Foley? Very bad. Might have a bad tooth.
33:13 Speaker 01 Listen, I've seen them. There's, there's no good teeth in there.
33:16 H. Foley? That's not true.
33:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's a hundred-
33:17 H. Foley? I just got big lips.
33:19 Speaker 01 None of your teeth are good.
33:22 Speaker 01 Oh god.
33:23 H. Foley? Some DSLs? What's DSLs?
33:25 Speaker 01 Dick sucking lips?
33:27 H. Foley? This fucking guy.
33:31 H. Foley? Kevin, do you have another question?
33:32 Speaker 01 Maybe that's why you're, with the boys, your teeth are so small.
33:37 Speaker 01 Just saying.
33:38 H. Foley? What are you just saying?
33:39 Speaker 01 I just said it. I don't know how else to say it. They like ya, cuz your teeth don't get in the way when you're fellating them. Little tight-lipped Suzie over here.
33:52 Speaker 01 Jack Wagner.
33:54 H. Foley? Big star back in the day.
33:56 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
33:56 H. Foley? Big star now.
33:58 Speaker 01 I don't think so.
33:58 H. Foley? Whatever.
34:01 H. Foley? Yeah, everybody always says that shit, "Oh, what happened to So-and-so? They got fucking rich and they're fucking chilling."
34:06 Speaker 01 Uh, alright, this one's from Sean. $10 new homie. Is it gar- is it garbage if your stepmom gifted your brother-
34:12 H. Foley? Ooh.
34:13 Speaker 01 -your cousin's used Bart Simpson shirt for Christmas? P.S. Our cousin was there, called her out, and she threw the shirt in his face and stormed out.
34:23 H. Foley? What the fuck?
34:24 Speaker 01 Wait.
34:26 Speaker 01 So your stepmom stole your cousin's shirt and gave it to your brother? What the hell? Dude, that is like... That's like being on perks and like...
34:37 H. Foley? There's drugs involved in that, for sure. I don't know if it's Perkas said, something. Something that comes with a prescription. That ain't over the counter stuff. Unless it's a bunch of things mixed together and cooked somewhere.
34:49 Speaker 01 Okay, Sudafed.
34:50 H. Foley? Yeah, spell it out for you? La Coruscaden. La Coruscaden special. Yeah, that's fucking... I didn't get mad about, okay, fine. It's fucking my t-shirt.
35:01 Speaker 01 That's something you would do, cause it's seen... You never loved me anyway.
35:04 H. Foley? Those Bart Simpson shirts were huge. I remember I had a Notre Dame one that didn't quite fit right. It didn't really make sense. I couldn't find like a good one. You know, like we, we talked about this week, when you were a kid and you couldn't figure out what was wrong, why did the t-shirt didn't fit or hang or wear the way it did on other people, cause it weren't like worn in, you were a fat kid.
35:26 Speaker 01 As I was a fat kid.
35:27 H. Foley? The collar, you know what I mean? You really had to wear t-shirts in. And this one just never did. The collar was too tight. I think we got it at Burlington Coat Factory.
35:37 H. Foley? And it was him wearing a Notre Dame helmet, kicking a football or something like that.
35:41 Speaker 01 I don't think I ever had any, uh...
35:43 H. Foley? Dude, those t-shirts, Bart Simpson t-shirts were fucking, they, they used that kid to sell everything. Vodka, chocolate, Butterfingers. I didn't give a fuck.
35:54 H. Foley? He probably wasn't getting the money, but...
35:57 Speaker 01 Child union labor laws.
35:59 H. Foley? They, he sold everything.
36:00 Speaker 01 Uh, yeah.
36:01 H. Foley? Time shares, cars, fucking golf clubs.
36:04 Speaker 01 I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
36:05 H. Foley? Exactly.
36:06 Speaker 01 Uh, yeah, I never, uh, I never had any of that...
36:11 H. Foley? He saved Butterfinger for a little while.
36:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, for a little while, probably two, two decades.
36:15 H. Foley? Yeah.
36:16 Speaker 01 Um, carried that fucking ship.
36:18 H. Foley? Carried it.
36:19 Speaker 01 I'm trying to think, I don't think we ever had any of that.
36:22 H. Foley? Butterfingers?
36:23 Speaker 01 No, I did, there was a phaser as in a butter, but they get stuck in your molars, yikes. Like giving yourself a filling. Fucking smooth little enamel, smooth that bad boy up.
36:34 H. Foley? Something to dig at later.
36:37 H. Foley? When you wake up with like a bump on your tongue, you're like, what the fuck?
36:40 Speaker 01 Are you one of them mid comma? I'll look at it. Maybe put it back in for a little savor the flavor, baby.
36:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, I, uh, we never had any of that. I was, it was kinda funny, I was talking to my mom this weekend about, cause these young kids, my, my nephews, they all got gear. And that's changed with like availability of
37:06 Speaker 01 ordering clothes and stuff like that.
37:07 H. Foley? Mine used to have proper gear.
37:09 Speaker 01 And we, we just, I mean, like, I'm not, we had cooler stuff if it was available.
37:16 H. Foley? Some Russell, some Russell.
37:17 Speaker 01 But it was like, you just get what's at the mall and you don't, these kids know what's cool. Like, for us, it was like, I saw a kid wearing that, it looks cool. There's now like across the country, cool stuff for a nine-year-old to wear.
37:30 H. Foley? Sure.
37:31 Speaker 01 You know, that they all know about from Instagram, TikTok, like, this is what the cool kids, that's why they all look fucking identical.
37:36 H. Foley? We had jams and stuff like that.
37:38 Speaker 01 I'm not saying stuff wasn't hot or cool, but these, these kids are identical.
37:43 H. Foley? Yeah.
37:43 Speaker 01 They all have the same haircut, they wear the same, it's like...
37:46 H. Foley? I feel like when we were younger, you could make something cool. Does that make sense?
37:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, I feel like that does, I, from what, I mean, listen, I'm not in elementary school or junior high anymore, uh, but just, they all look, cause there are, now there is a universal, this is cool. It used to be like localized, like, the cool kids in my school are wearing this now. Jammers weren't cool all around at all the same time.
38:09 H. Foley? Jammers?
38:09 Speaker 01 They're like, what are they, the fucking, uh...
38:11 H. Foley? Talking about jams, the Hawaiian shorts. It would've been before your time.
38:15 Speaker 01 What, yeah, I'm saying jammers were like the, uh, kinda like the, uh, isn't that what they were called? Jammers? They were like the, uh, MC Hammer pants a little bit. Like, like something Chef would wear, you know what I mean? Like a Dallas Cowboys fucking...
38:28 H. Foley? Called them Z Cavaricci's back in the day.
38:30 Speaker 01 No, they were jeans.
38:31 H. Foley? No, Z Cavaricci had pants.
38:33 Speaker 01 Huh, let me, let me get eyes on this real quick.
38:36 H. Foley? My buddies Blair and Rodney used to, where they used to share the same pair. They'd show up every day looking like a backup dancer.
38:43 Speaker 01 Can't touch us. No, they're not jammers.
38:45 Speaker 03 Zubaz?
38:46 Speaker 01 Zubaz, how do you spell that?
38:48 Speaker 03 Z-U-B-A-Z.
38:50 H. Foley? That's not how you say it, I don't think.
38:52 Speaker 03 I thought it...
38:53 Speaker 01 Zubaz.
38:53 H. Foley? You said it like an alien or rich kid.
38:55 Speaker 03 Zubaz, that's how they said it on the league. I remember, that was a big...
38:58 H. Foley? Okay.
38:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, these things. Remember them? They were like football teams.
39:05 H. Foley? I thought they were called Zumas or something like that. Zumbas.
39:08 Speaker 01 Zubas.
39:09 H. Foley? I can't remember.
39:10 Speaker 01 Anyway, we're...
39:12 H. Foley? That was my, that was my day though.
39:13 Speaker 01 I know. Hold on. I'm just saying.
39:16 H. Foley? Were you kids wearing them?
39:18 Speaker 01 There was leftover, yeah, those things.
39:20 H. Foley? At school?
39:21 Speaker 01 I want to say we had a pair of Buffalo Bills. We had, we never had eagle shit. We had
39:29 Speaker 01 whatever the fuck you get your hands on.
39:31 H. Foley? My dad came home from a road trip one time with an Old Dominion sweatshirt and a West Virginia sweatshirt. I was like, what the fuck do you want me to do with this?
39:39 Speaker 01 Go to school, get my fucking ass kicked.
39:42 H. Foley? Old Dominion?
39:46 H. Foley? It's actually a great school. Shout out to Old Dominion.
39:48 Speaker 01 But, uh...
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40:20 Speaker 01 I'm just saying, that was like...
40:23 Speaker 01 They know what's cool across the country now. Back then, nobody knew that. It was like, this is what the kids at this school at this time are wearing. That might be popular throughout the country, but it was never like, this stuff's cool. And then, I feel like now, stuff gets very not cool very quick.
40:40 H. Foley? Yeah, like that lettuce head.
40:42 Speaker 01 Kids are still rocking it.
40:43 H. Foley? Are they still rocking it?
40:44 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
40:45 H. Foley? Cool.
40:46 Speaker 01 Cool. I'm growing my back. It's just in.
40:49 H. Foley? Stop!
40:50 Speaker 01 Al sod, eh? Um, alright, let's see. This one's just funny. It's from Aiden. Uh, $10 Foleyville citizen, are you garbage if you slept with a lighter in your pocket? A hundred times.
41:01 H. Foley? Thousands of times, yeah.
41:02 Speaker 01 That's kinda, I always...
41:04 H. Foley? That and then the washing machine. You wouldn't hear it until it got to the dryer.
41:07 Speaker 01 I was sick, whatever, two weeks ago. I washed a bunch of holes, cough dropped. They were all in my fucking, in, in a pocket of like a bare basketball shorts or something. And damn dude, they were all fucking halfway sucked, you know what I mean? Cause they got the wrapper off, in the water, and then just, luckily it didn't dry on any clothes. There was one melted in a pocket that I had to.
41:32 H. Foley? What flavor?
41:33 Speaker 01 The cherry, like the red.
41:35 H. Foley? Yeah, is what you do with cherry?
41:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, they got the best hit. I remember my sister having them as a kid, I'm like, what the fuck? Are you a coal miner? Is this fucking, are you trying to cure your fucking black lung with these things? I'm a Ludens man, ruined.
41:49 H. Foley? Like a gentleman.
41:52 H. Foley? Man. Ludens lemons. Then they had the honey for a little while.
41:58 Speaker 01 We were a cherry fan.
41:59 H. Foley? Course, course Kevin. You gotta, you gotta bend with the trends.
42:04 Speaker 01 I would be sick on whatever, say Tuesday, wanting to take them to school on Wednesday, really flex. And they never lasted. They never made it. They never made it out of Tuesday, they never made it out of the car. I was in the back.
42:18 H. Foley? Yeah, you had to have the small pack though, you couldn't have the big ones.
42:20 Speaker 01 I didn't even know the big ones.
42:22 H. Foley? They were probably just popping when you were a kid, yeah, they, they look like halls, you gotta get the little bangers and the wax.
42:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, the wax paper. That's what they kept Blue Magic in. Call it fuck, call it blue dog shit, I don't give a fuck.
42:34 H. Foley? Man, walking around school with that, handing out fucking school buses, like straightening everybody out. Everyone's all fucked up by lunch.
42:42 Speaker 01 Walking into a bar like Jimmy Conway.
42:46 Speaker 01 Everybody gets a hundred.
42:49 H. Foley? They didn't make it. Just walking around with an empty box.
42:53 Speaker 01 I got it, I got it rolled up in my sleeve.
42:57 Speaker 01 Ah, alright, let's see here, this one's from Kyle, ten dollar bozo, spelled bozo wrong. Virgin, never had one red, gave a buddy a ride home from work a while back, he was planning on paying me for gas money. Asked me not to run the AC to save on gas because he was so jammed up.
43:17 H. Foley? Wait, what?
43:20 H. Foley? His car.
43:22 Speaker 01 It'd be like me giving you a ride home.
43:24 H. Foley? And me saying, "Don't run the-"
43:25 Speaker 01 Uh, me going, me going, "Give me ten bucks for gas to get you home." And him going, "You go, I'll give you five." And no way, see, this guy's cutting deals at the table.
43:36 H. Foley? Holy shit.
43:37 Speaker 01 Listen, let's do windows down, no radio, I'll give you seven fifty.
43:39 H. Foley? And here's a heater.
43:41 Speaker 01 Ooh, that'll sweeten the deal.
43:43 H. Foley? Sweeten the deal.
43:44 Speaker 01 There was nothing like smoking heaters at an age when like you couldn't. Luck, not luckily, uh, as a young dirtbag who was heavy into heaters. We all, we, there was an Exxon in our town, uh, shout out to Mohammed, would sell us heaters. We always suspected there was a little
44:04 Speaker 01 nine eleven connection and that's why he was making good by giving us heaters if we kept our mouths shut. That's what one of the older kids told us.
44:12 H. Foley? Was this after nine eleven?
44:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:16 Speaker 01 He said, "You better fucking play ball and give us these, these heaters."
44:19 H. Foley? The FBI, if the FBI drags you for questioning, Ahmed, good guy.
44:28 Speaker 01 Uh, one of the local dirtbags told us that. And then he got caught stealing Pat's change jar.
44:36 Speaker 01 Man, we used to hang out with-
44:37 H. Foley? How'd he get into his house?
44:39 Speaker 01 They were boys. I think he, Pat's dad listens. I think he snuck in through a window.
44:46 H. Foley? Nice.
44:47 Speaker 01 And went down. That had, there were so many dirtbags that we hung out with that then stole. Yeah, I mean, they were like tics. That was when the pills hit. And these kids with fucking faces all sunk and they looked like goblins. And I mean, all my friends are doing drugs, I'm not, I'm not casting shade. But these kids were like addicts at like thirteen. I remember I watched one kid put, it was the first time, he had a, a, not a goulash, what are those beers? With the fucking funky tops, goul, goulge. He had a goulge. We went over this-
45:20 H. Foley? Yeah, maybe it's not goulge, but I know who you're talking about.
45:22 Speaker 01 I think it's goulge. He had a-
45:25 H. Foley? Like a Bex you talking about?
45:27 Speaker 01 It was a green bottle.
45:28 H. Foley? I didn't trust that shit till I was much older. Fucking, I ain't with a fuck Holland, why you drinking that shit? That's how they get you. Then I was older, I fell in love with it. It was an Irish bar in Sunnyside where I would go. This was my saddest years. I was living in Sunnyside.
45:42 Speaker 01 Like the one now is so great?
45:45 H. Foley? Worst summer ever.
45:48 Speaker 01 Follow me the other day, he said, "Worst summer ever." He's 50. I got mad, someone forgot my birthday.
45:57 H. Foley? No, I started going to this Irish bar and I would get a Bex and a steak sandwich. And I'd go to the movies by myself.
46:05 Speaker 01 You were really doing it.
46:10 Speaker 01 But this one kid, it was daytime. That's what always was the blateness of it. It was daytime. I don't, I... We might have just been driving, or some of us were driving, and we show up to this girl's house. Her parents are gone for the night or something. This is daytime. Like, oh! So, we were going to probably... Somebody's going to buy pills or something. They was going to buy weed or something, I mean...
46:33 H. Foley? If that shit was big, if that hit when we were in high school, I think we all would have been, we all would have died.
46:38 Speaker 01 A lot of my, a lot of my friends did not make it.
46:40 H. Foley? Crazy.
46:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the ones that did are a little tattered.
46:45 H. Foley? Sure.
46:47 Speaker 01 Did not stop at Percocet, I'll tell you that much. I'm talking blue magic.
46:51 H. Foley? How you doing?
46:53 Speaker 01 But, we showed up for like a mi- we like stopped out front of this girl's house and that kid was there and we, and he like, "Yeah, fuckin'..." Dude, it was like the deadest summer and he was translucent, like he hadn't seen, like he hadn't seen sunshine.
47:09 H. Foley? It was the deadest summer? What do you mean?
47:11 Speaker 01 It was like the middle of summer, like this motherfucker should have had a tan or something. He came out with like a sweater on and we were like, I wanted to be like, "Dude, get it together." You know what I mean? Like, "What the fuck?"
47:24 H. Foley? Stop, man.
47:26 Speaker 01 His head was always to the left. "What's up, dude?" Fucking sunken in, I like, "Gollum."
47:32 H. Foley? You a well-nourished fellow.
47:36 Speaker 01 I'm picking a piece of butterfinger out of my mouth.
47:40 H. Foley? Your mom didn't leave you pizza money or nothing, dude?
47:43 Speaker 01 Hey, you snorted it.
47:46 Speaker 01 He walked out. We were like parked out front. It was like there was a group of people already like, "Hey, stop by." They'd be like Luke being like, "Hey, I'll sell you an eighth." "Stop by." Foley's here. And like, "Oh, we're just, you know, we're out front, like chilled, smoked a cig." It was just like a five-minute fucking lollygag. And he walked out. We were young. We were young.
48:06 H. Foley? Wait, were you at his house?
48:08 Speaker 01 No, he was at this girl's house. Whatever, he was at the house we were showing up to. And he walked out. I'm like, "Gee, uh, what's up?" "Boy, goddamn, get under eight lampers." "You look like a, you look like a preemie."
48:25 H. Foley? Fucking coming out here like a baby chick. He fucking eyes closed.
48:33 Speaker 01 Lick in your lip.
48:37 H. Foley? Somebody get an eyedropper to feed this kid.
48:42 Speaker 01 But he had a big golsch. What a big one, like a fucking, one of them leader jaws. Like, I ain't never seen a European beard like that, let alone with hinges on it.
48:53 H. Foley? Did it have a nipple on it?
48:57 Speaker 01 I wouldn't be like, "How the fuck you get your, who'd you steal that from? You ain't never been to Amsterdam."
49:04 Speaker 01 I'll be like, "There's no way you bought that." It was a known thief. Just a known sticky-fingered fucking rat.
49:14 H. Foley? Addiction to supply.
49:16 Speaker 01 Dude, we were so young for him to be addicted to pills. Like, so young. Like, fifteen, fourteen, fifteen? And I said, "Dude, he had a big golsch," and he took a sip and then dropped green pills in there. This is daytime in this, like, you know, the suburbs. You know what I mean? There's like kids like shoes-
49:36 H. Foley? Could've been those hydrogen things that Gary Breckin uses.
49:39 Speaker 01 He's doing methylated vitamin. And that'll bring the color back.
49:45 H. Foley? Some of that iodine blue, what's it called the kids are on?
49:48 Speaker 01 I don't know.
49:50 Speaker 01 I remember being like, dude, you are way too brazen. I wonder if he's alive. We were just talking about him this weekend. Doubtful.
50:00 H. Foley? Dropping pills and beer?
50:02 Speaker 01 Dude, we were, he might have been fifty, he might have been. We were young, like, and dude, this is daytime, like a summer afternoon, and we were out in the street. It'd be like walking out of your parents' house, and a bunch of fucking twelve to fourteen, fifteen year olds are out front. And he's there, I mean, the beer was bigger than him, and he's just like.
50:26 Speaker 01 I'm gonna be like, this kid is fucked.
50:29 H. Foley? I'm gonna start studying.
50:30 Speaker 01 I'm gonna go back to school. I'm gonna tell my mom I'm sorry.
50:36 H. Foley? Remember when you had those moments when you were a kid, when you realized you weren't about that life?
50:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:41 H. Foley? You got your ass home before dinner, and fucking sat there and had a fucking nice meal together.
50:50 H. Foley? Not going back to that neighborhood again.
50:52 Speaker 01 There was about six of those dudes we used to hang out, at a young age, where you're like. I remember this one time this kid stole, again, we were hanging out with just such, because we're hanging out with kids who were like, we were bad kids, good, head on our shoulders, bad kid, like.
51:07 H. Foley? Sure.
51:08 Speaker 01 Machiavellian, drinking, smoking, trying drugs too young.
51:12 H. Foley? Bad kids.
51:12 Speaker 01 Adventure, bad kids.
51:13 H. Foley? No, bad kids were fucking stealing, hurting people.
51:17 Speaker 01 We were bad kids, but we were bad kids to good kids.
51:22 H. Foley? Sure.
51:22 Speaker 01 And not that we were bad kids, but like.
51:24 H. Foley? But like you and your buddies wouldn't fuck.
51:25 Speaker 01 I wouldn't want my kid hanging out with me and my friends.
51:27 H. Foley? I know, but you guys wouldn't start stomping on some old lady walking down the street, that's a bad kid.
51:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, we're not in the fucking outside, it's crazy. This isn't sleeping.
51:35 H. Foley? You didn't hurt anybody.
51:36 Speaker 01 No.
51:37 H. Foley? Unless they were looking for you.
51:40 Speaker 01 But, uh. I remember this kid stole, broke into another friend's house, stole a bunch of weed.
51:47 H. Foley? This kid, the kid with the gosh?
51:49 Speaker 01 Another kid.
51:50 H. Foley? Man, you had a lot of fucking-
51:51 Speaker 01 Oh man, we were so-
51:52 H. Foley? Lot of zombies.
51:54 Speaker 01 That's the kid that took seven toomies and fell through the chip aisle. And they beat the shit out of this kid the next day. He knew it was him. So the kid who got robbed went and beat, like, you know, was like, "You..." And dude, he's like, "You stole?" And he's like, "Yeah, man." And he just like, beat the shit out and just like, looked at him. And I was just like, "Man, this kid's just willing to get his ass kicked and go, 'I'm gonna keep this weed and this money.'" I don't give a fuck what you... Like, that kid is going, "I'm willing just to get my ass kicked." But I, I'm sitting on like, about 800 bucks worth of weed or whatever, so you can suck my dick, dude. I remember being like, "That kid's about that life, just willing to get ragdolled in front of everybody."
52:34 H. Foley? He went home and tied for some stove top.
52:36 Speaker 01 Dude, I got home, I was like, "Yo, I am sorry."
52:41 H. Foley? Went home, cleaned your room, did inventory of your toys, went downstairs for a little racer Rooney.
52:46 Speaker 01 Watching TV with my pop. "Hey, what are you watching, Dad?"
52:52 Speaker 01 Some quality time. "Anything good in the paper?"
52:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's a good amount of those kids where you're just like...
53:00 Speaker 01 Didn't. Those kids did not stand a chance. Did not stand a cha... But those are the kids that live.
53:07 H. Foley? Yeah?
53:07 Speaker 01 They're like, you know, cockroaches. You just can't... We bumped into the one kid.
53:14 Speaker 01 On South Street, remember?
53:17 H. Foley? When the fuck were you guys on South Street?
53:18 Speaker 01 He was like, "What's up, Kevin?"
53:19 Speaker 03 Oh, God.
53:20 Speaker 01 It was after we got the shoes at, uh, Sneaker Suplex.
53:23 H. Foley? Was he cool? Was he all straightened out?
53:24 Speaker 01 No.
53:25 H. Foley? Oh.
53:25 Speaker 01 He was on South Street.
53:27 H. Foley? They couldn't be working that, eh?
53:29 Speaker 01 Hey, he was, yeah. Remember that kid?
53:30 Speaker 03 I always kinda walk away from those.
53:32 Speaker 01 I was like, "Oh, whoa, what's up?" He's got a camera in my face and shit, I'm like-
53:39 H. Foley? How much you want for that camera?
53:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
53:42 H. Foley? Wow.
53:43 Speaker 01 Wow. I don't even know how the fuck we got there. Um, alright, let's see here. Uh, that was the paying for gas.
53:51 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
53:52 Speaker 01 What a fucking home run of a question. Um, it was buying cigs. But we always had a, uh, access to cigs. So we never had to really concede for heaters.
54:04 H. Foley? Sure.
54:04 Speaker 01 You know what I mean? It was like you could all, and they were still cheap at the time. For us, as a teenager, they were under five bucks. So it was like you could get your hands on...
54:13 H. Foley? Ours were like $2.25.
54:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, we, you could get your hands between change and like lunch money or whatever. Like if I had five bucks for lunch, I go, oh, I'll just, you know, I'll skip lunch and I got a pack of heaters.
54:24 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
54:24 Speaker 01 You know, or save like a dollar, $2 this day, whatever, whatever.
54:28 H. Foley? We were always...
54:29 Speaker 01 Plus I was working.
54:29 H. Foley? We were always very good about the ride. We never really had to beg anybody for a ride home. That was always, you know, yeah, of course. Fucking loop around, give you a ride home.
54:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, we loved it because there was never much going on and we were big chill...
54:41 H. Foley? Driving?
54:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
54:42 H. Foley? Yeah.
54:42 Speaker 01 We were big chill, smoke a cig guys. Like we used to go over to my boy's house. You know, that was like during the week if you're like, "Oh, I only got like 15 minutes." But like, "I don't feel like going home" or whatever, stop by chill, smoke a cig. Pull up out front, post up, he was selling weed. Just sat, I would just sit and sell weed with him.
54:59 H. Foley? Sure. Good times.
55:02 Speaker 01 Plausible deniability.
55:03 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
55:04 Speaker 01 "I'm here for a heater. Check the text." Uh...
55:09 H. Foley? Says right there, officer.
55:11 Speaker 01 I had no idea he was trafficking narcotics.
55:14 H. Foley? Trafficking's a strong word.
55:16 Speaker 01 Uh, this one's from Toody's Anal Beads. "Are you garbage if you keep the tags on your DXL suit to return it if you don't get this job? I'm currently waiting on a virtual interview to start in a full suit without removing the tags just in case. I'm jammed the fuck up over here. But if I get this position, I'll be upgrading my subscription because I have some of that good old cashish."
55:36 H. Foley? My man.
55:36 Speaker 01 Shout out to you. I hope you get the job.
55:38 H. Foley? Hope you get the job, bud.
55:39 Speaker 01 Write in and let us know. But that's not, especially a virtual one.
55:43 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
55:44 Speaker 01 That's like you didn't even wear it. It's one thing if you put it on, you get in your car, you have lunch.
55:48 H. Foley? Oh, yeah.
55:49 Speaker 01 You wrinkle it up.
55:50 H. Foley? How you even have the pants on during that interview?
55:52 Speaker 01 No.
55:53 H. Foley? But I've heard sometimes they ask you to stand up.
55:56 Speaker 01 Do they?
55:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
55:57 Speaker 01 Really?
55:58 Speaker 03 I've seen it before.
55:59 Speaker 01 Just to go like, let's see how, like, how committed you are?
56:02 Speaker 03 It became a thing because it was such a bit on Zoom during COVID of like people wearing like the up top business and then down below.
56:09 Speaker 01 Underwear on a party. Back it up and dump it. Let me see, let me see what you're wearing. Let me see what you got downstairs.
56:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, like six months I like, I, one of my buddies got got, but like he was wearing a full suit and they asked him to stand up.
56:21 H. Foley? What the fuck?
56:22 Speaker 01 I, listen, I, as a, I don't condone it, but I get it. It's like, you can't put a pair of pants on for a goddamn job interview?
56:30 H. Foley? I got pants on right now.
56:32 Speaker 01 Blur them. Real small blur.
56:35 H. Foley? Hey!
56:38 H. Foley? Rude.
56:38 Speaker 01 Just saying. Um, uh, all right, this one's from nothing on that. $10 executive director, never had one read. Ever used your freshly removed boxers to give your bedroom a dust before they hit the linen basket?
56:49 H. Foley? Oh, yeah.
56:50 Speaker 01 That's bad, yeah.
56:51 H. Foley? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Towels, underwear, anything. If it's going in a laundry basket, it's a rag.
56:59 Speaker 01 I'm a big, uh, they, my dirty clothes tend to be used as excess, uh, bath mats for me. Like that gets, I would get to, I have typically, not my pants, because I wear my pants 57 days in a row, but my underwear and my t-shirt. Also, I find it psychotic if you're in your home and you wear your pants into the bathroom to get a shower.
57:24 H. Foley? I do that sometimes.
57:25 Speaker 01 That's so insane to me.
57:27 H. Foley? Yeah, I do it sometimes.
57:28 Speaker 01 You're getting like fully undressed in the bathroom is, I mean, maybe if you got a pair, if you're like lounging, you got a pair of basketball shorts on, even those, like, I do a pre de-dress, pre-undress in the bedroom.
57:40 H. Foley? Sometimes I'll hang a pair of basketball shorts in the bathroom. I'll turn the water on. Like I say, I get home from a late spot.
57:47 Speaker 01 That's a little different because you're trying to keep it low. That's a little, but I'll give you that. I'll do that.
57:51 H. Foley? I gotta do some business in there.
57:53 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
57:54 H. Foley? You know what I mean? I'll, I'll get undressed in there.
57:58 Speaker 01 I'll give you that. That's the only time I'll do it as well. Cause I can get in there, I can close the door and then like, cause it's got like-
58:02 H. Foley? It's always weird seeing your jeans hanging on the back of that thing.
58:04 Speaker 01 I'm doing it in the morning-
58:05 H. Foley? Your wallet and keys in it?
58:06 Speaker 01 I never know where they are the next day.
58:08 H. Foley? What are you, a cop?
58:09 Speaker 01 I feel like I've been robbed. I'm like, babe, have you seen my, cause we don't like really close, it's like the door then pushes against the wall. You don't see it.
58:15 H. Foley? Sure.
58:15 Speaker 01 Um, but yeah, I mean, or I'll just do it in the living room as well. Throw them on the desk. Cause those keys, dude, you come, you're trying to sneak in at night? You got the keys, you got like a couple of quarters or something, you know? Or just whatever. You got, I got a pen, I got a notebook, a wallet, fucking, you know?
58:34 H. Foley? Badge and gun?
58:35 Speaker 01 Badge. You jam the fuck up.
58:39 Speaker 01 Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from Ren La, $10 reformed a bozo, never had one read. I know it's garbage, but we only have a few working light bulbs in the house. Good lord. So instead of buying more, we just unscrew them and move them when we need light.
58:54 H. Foley? Damn. Jesus. Grab a pack.
58:57 Speaker 01 What are you getting? How much is a pack of, what's a pa, what's a two pack of light bulbs going for?
59:01 H. Foley? It's not that. It's, I, I know, it's just lazy. It's just, you just don't do it.
59:06 Speaker 01 I mean, but if you're now, I, after, I, listen, I get being in a pinch and going, I wanna go in this room and there's no light and unscrewing it from a light and moving. I to, I am not-
59:15 H. Foley? Once you get into that, once you get into that habit-
59:17 Speaker 01 You gotta break it though.
59:18 H. Foley? No, but I'm saying, once you get into that habit, it's, it's acceptable. It's the same thing as the remote with the, with the scotch tape on the back or the remote that doesn't quite work.
59:25 Speaker 01 That's completely, dude, scotch tape on the back of a remote is completely different than unscrewing light bulbs.
59:30 H. Foley? Or if you have to pop the batteries out, put them back in, the one button doesn't work, you get used to shit.
59:35 Speaker 01 I'm not saying you don't, but that's real passive. You're sitting there doing the, unscrewing and screwing light bulbs in. Six, seven bucks gets you out of that jam.
59:44 H. Foley? Six, seven? It's hot.
59:47 H. Foley? Pack of bulbs?
59:47 Speaker 01 You know what's great? The bodegas in New York, you can just go and be like, let me get a light bulb and they just take one out of the pack. It's like a dollar, you know, maybe two bucks.
59:54 H. Foley? Yeah.
59:57 Speaker 01 I'll give you that. What was big always, and I, cause I just did this the other day, I had to change one in the, in the hallway. Um, I'm bad at changing light bulbs, uh, but I had to change one. If there's, I'm big on, if the hall light goes out, I'm now using the bathroom light. You know what I mean? I'll use another room's light.
1:00:16 H. Foley? Oh, yeah.
1:00:16 Speaker 01 To like.
1:00:18 H. Foley? Especially up there with the dead mosquitoes and spiders and dust.
1:00:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, find a ladder, I think a step stool. Um, but even growing up, this was like my mom, hey, I remember screaming. And this was like a big thing of like, we never threw the light bulb, the bad light bulb out, cause we were like, the glare, you'll break, you'll get hurt or something. I, that's how you get cut. So we'd put it back in the bot, like that box.
1:00:43 H. Foley? Yeah, and then throw them out altogether.
1:00:45 Speaker 01 I know.
1:00:45 H. Foley? And you couldn't figure out which one was busted.
1:00:46 Speaker 01 You had to shake it. If you could hear the, I learned that like at age five, how to read a filament. I'm like, this is, what are we doing here?
1:00:55 H. Foley? That was always the best. Hey, it's broken.
1:00:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, burnt. Eyes burnt. I think I might be a little left on that one.
1:01:00 H. Foley? I learned that from an episode of, uh, God, was it Quantum Leap or something? No, there used to be another show that was a time travel show in the eighties. And the, the, the guy went to, who invented the light bulb? Was it Thomas Edison?
1:01:15 Speaker 01 Thomas Jefferson.
1:01:16 H. Foley? And the kid could time travel. It was a kid and an adult that could time travel. And the kid uses little hands to make the filament and that's what made it work. His little small fingers. That's where I learned that. Can't remember the name of the show. It was a very popular, uh,
1:01:32 H. Foley? fuck you.
1:01:32 Speaker 01 What? That's where I learned that.
1:01:35 H. Foley? I was gonna say, he was a popular young TV star, Curly Black Air. I can't remember.
1:01:39 Speaker 01 Jack Wagner.
1:01:39 H. Foley? No. Around the same time though. Can't remember his name. Can't remember the name of the show either.
1:01:46 Speaker 01 You got nothing.
1:01:47 H. Foley? I got nothing.
1:01:48 Speaker 01 A kid on a show.
1:01:49 H. Foley? That was about time travel. In the eighties. Give me a goog.
1:01:52 Speaker 03 All right. Those Eco light bulbs scared us. Remember the curly ones and like they said there was gas if you broke one of them?
1:02:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, they, those things came out. You don't remember like the-
1:02:03 H. Foley? They were fancy.
1:02:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I'm just saying, I know-
1:02:06 H. Foley? None of them were ever in Patty's house.
1:02:08 Speaker 01 We got one now. I don't know, I guess my wife bought it, or I bought it, or something. I've like, just ordered light bulbs. Dude, this thing, it's like you're in a cer- it's in, you're like, you're in the OR. You turn it on, it's like-
1:02:20 H. Foley? What about the ones that are half wiffle ball? That's not all bulb?
1:02:24 Speaker 01 What's half wiffle ball?
1:02:25 H. Foley? It's like, plastic on the bottom. You never seen them?
1:02:28 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:02:28 H. Foley? I don't know what's going on.
1:02:29 Speaker 01 That's gonna melt. That's like putting bad Tupperware in a fucking, in a dishwasher. That filament'll get ya. Um-
1:02:36 H. Foley? What do you got?
1:02:37 Speaker 01 Voyagers?
1:02:39 H. Foley? Yes!
1:02:39 Speaker 01 That was it, okay.
1:02:40 H. Foley? Was it a little, is there a little kid?
1:02:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:42 H. Foley? Yeah, with curly hair?
1:02:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, handsome dude. I like his attitude. You didn't know it either.
1:02:48 H. Foley? Yeah, voyagers.
1:02:49 Speaker 01 Uh, mino pelouse.
1:02:52 H. Foley? There you go.
1:02:53 Speaker 01 French, something.
1:02:55 H. Foley? Good show. Time travel.
1:02:58 Speaker 01 Sure. Uh, alright, let's see, uh, we got time for one more here. Uh, this one's from Silent Dinner Veteran. Longtime, I don't know if I get that. Uh, longtime listener. Oh, silent dinners, no one's talking. Tension.
1:03:16 H. Foley? A veteran of silent dinners.
1:03:17 Speaker 01 He survived.
1:03:19 H. Foley? Deep cut.
1:03:20 Speaker 01 That's all right. Although, we had less. I didn't have many of them, because they were already divorced.
1:03:30 H. Foley? Sure.
1:03:30 Speaker 01 So it's like, they're with, they were each with new people, so it's like, that tension of like-
1:03:35 H. Foley? Couldn't get them to shut up. Bunch of young love, yapping.
1:03:39 Speaker 01 When I was in my twenties, they were, it was, oh, tense. For me, my stepdad.
1:03:45 H. Foley? Plenty of Sunday night dinners, after my dad cooked all day, and there was some, there was always a fight on Sundays. Always. Always. And then, a quiet dinner, and then things would loosen up. Somebody had to break something.
1:03:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:03:59 H. Foley? Sometimes it didn't. Sometimes it went into the morning.
1:04:05 Speaker 01 Unresolved.
1:04:06 H. Foley? Voyagers, huh?
1:04:06 Speaker 01 Issue.
1:04:07 H. Foley? That's when I turned to voyagers. La la la la la la la la la. I'm a time traveler.
1:04:13 Speaker 01 Long time listener, recent homie, first time never had one read. Is it trash to have assigned seating in the living room? My brother and I would get into fights.
1:04:21 H. Foley? Oh, yeah.
1:04:22 Speaker 01 If one of us sat in the other person's spot on the couch.
1:04:26 H. Foley? I feel it.
1:04:27 Speaker 01 We never had-
1:04:27 H. Foley? Your dad had a spot.
1:04:29 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:04:30 H. Foley? Your mom had a spot, kinda.
1:04:32 Speaker 01 I don't know.
1:04:35 Speaker 01 I, she was never like chilling watching TV.
1:04:37 H. Foley? I always lay there, I always sit there.
1:04:39 Speaker 01 There was better spots, I guess we would defer, maybe.
1:04:43 H. Foley? My parents really only watched a couple of things together. And that was for a brief period of time, I think when we left the house. That was early 2000's, you know.
1:04:52 Speaker 01 Real sex.
1:04:53 H. Foley? Huh?
1:04:53 Speaker 01 What?
1:04:54 H. Foley? Ice Road Truckers, fucking The Osbournes, all that stuff, they watched all of that shit. That's when they, that's when they were watching TV together. But in the 80's and 90's? Maybe it was Married with Children? That we'd all watch together?
1:05:09 H. Foley? Me and my mom in the 80's watched TV all the time together at night.
1:05:12 Speaker 01 I don't think my mom watched a lot of TV.
1:05:14 H. Foley? Mash, Moonlighting, Dynasty, Dallas, crushed it.
1:05:18 Speaker 01 I can't, I remember watching, I remember when, fuck yeah, and Who Wants to be a Millionaire hit?
1:05:22 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:05:22 Speaker 01 That was like, the first season of American Idol? Especially because there's Philly roots, or he was from like Reading or something?
1:05:28 H. Foley? Sure.
1:05:30 Speaker 01 But I don't think any, I mean, when she was working, third shift to the hospital, she'd get home and watch, uh, one of the late shows.
1:05:37 H. Foley? Designing Women?
1:05:38 Speaker 01 No, like Kimmel or something, or whatever, she'd float through whatever was on.
1:05:42 H. Foley? Down there yapping.
1:05:43 Speaker 01 She was, she'd fucking get done it, you know, she'd get home at midnight, catch the end of Letterman or something.
1:05:49 H. Foley? You'd have to be back at work.
1:05:51 Speaker 01 Three, the next day, or whatever it is, three, it was like 3 to 11, I think, is, uh, third shift.
1:05:56 H. Foley? You kids running around the house.
1:05:58 Speaker 01 I, I was a little older at that point, but.
1:06:00 H. Foley? Eating raviolis.
1:06:02 Speaker 01 Yeah. Well, I mean, I was driving at that point. Think, can't remember, I was hanging out with the fucking Gollum, the pillhead. My mom's at work, I got fucking open crib.
1:06:14 H. Foley? That's alright.
1:06:15 Speaker 01 Come over, steal my change jar.
1:06:16 H. Foley? Yeah. Weekends too?
1:06:19 Speaker 01 No, no weekends, maybe like Sunday, whatever.
1:06:22 H. Foley? What about Friday night, would she be out, would she be working Friday night?
1:06:26 Speaker 01 I don't remember.
1:06:28 H. Foley? No chicks, huh?
1:06:29 Speaker 01 I don't remember.
1:06:30 H. Foley? You would've remembered. You would've been having people over.
1:06:32 Speaker 01 My stepdad and my brother, I mean, it wasn't like empty house.
1:06:37 H. Foley? He'd be floating around, huh?
1:06:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, he'd be fucking...
1:06:39 H. Foley? You'd keep them too quiet?
1:06:41 Speaker 01 What?
1:06:41 H. Foley? You two go upstairs and hang out. Get some chicks coming over.
1:06:43 Speaker 01 Who? What did I say that to? My stepdad and my sister?
1:06:46 H. Foley? And your brother.
1:06:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's what they want. That's what they want to hear. Hey, you guys shut the fuck up and go upstairs.
1:06:53 H. Foley? What'd they call it?
1:06:54 Speaker 01 I could have some drug addicts come over and go through our personal belongings. Alright, we gotta wrap it up.
1:06:59 H. Foley? Gang, we love you to death. Back on the block tour.
1:07:02 Speaker 01 Get your takeys. We're coming out. This first run, uh, second show at Cobb's in San Francisco. We got Seattle, we got Portland, and low tickets, I believe, at Brea Improv outside the walls. I'm Halis.
1:07:15 H. Foley? Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.
1:07:16 Speaker 01 Peace.
Previous James McCann! Next Patreon Episode: Finding Foley a Hobby Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated