Dean Graziosi on Overcoming Trauma and Unleashing Your Inner Greatness EP 1462

The Summit of Greatness is back! Buy your tickets today – summitofgreatness.comThis powerful conversation was originally recorded for Dean Graziosi’s show, Own Your Future. We loved this conversation so much we wanted to share it with our listeners on The School of Greatness. Be sure to follow Own Your Future wherever you listen. Some kind words from Dean himself:"Get ready for a vulnerable, powerful, and authentic conversation with my dear friend Lewis Howes. Grab Lewis’ new book The Greatness Mindset at lewsihowes.com/gmbook Lewis is a New York Times best-selling author, keynote speaker, and industry-leading show host. Howes is a two-sport All-American athlete, former professional football player, and member of the U. S. A. Men’s National Handball Team. His show The School of Greatness is one of the top podcasts in the world with over 500 million downloads. He was recognized by the White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. But more than that… Lewis is a dear friend and I’ve had the privilege of watching this man grow and evolve into a truly GREAT man. He’s got that “humble power” that some of you may have heard me reference before. The ability to be confident as a man and what he knows, while still having the humility to ask for help, to know the work is never done, and the courage to become his greatest self."This episode is full of insights that will leave you feeling empowered, encouraged, and excited to step into your GREATNESS. In this episode you will learn,What it means to take authentic ownership of your life. How to use your painful past and turn it into a positive future. The number one skill that every human being should learn to master. Why mentorship, coaching, and asking for help is one of the greatest things you can do. How to direct your “inner beast” and use that strength for good, not self-sabotage. For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1462More episodes with Dean and Lewis:MILLIONAIRE SUCCESS HABITSMAKE AN IMPACT AND NEXT LEVEL SUCCESS Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Lewis Howes?

  Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection. I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful transformative weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Josprey Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sincero, and many more. You'll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.

• 0:44Lewis Howes?

  So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com/summit2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there.

• 1:01Lewis Howes?

  There's a beast inside of me and I have learned how to tame the beast. I've learned how to calm the beast. The beast comes out when there's a lot of emotional or psychological wounds or responses or pressure and we don't need that physical or reactive beast to come out.

• 1:19Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 1:43Dean Graziosi?

  Welcome back to the Own Your Future podcast. I'm so stoked today for the guest because you know, it might sound like I say this a lot, but I mean it when I say this isn't just an amazing man who was All-American in two sports, played professional football, multiple New York Times bestselling author, top keynote speaker. He's one of my dearest friends, you know, and how do you classify a dear friend? In my opinion, a dear friend could be someone you see all the time, or someone you see once a month, once a week, once a year. But when you see somebody where your heart feels full, someone who truly cares, if you understand the definition of reciprocity, this man lives it, breathes it. And I'm so excited about the new book he just came out with. It is

• 2:26Dean Graziosi?

  changing lives all over the world. But more so, I'm just really happy to hang out with my friend, Mr. Lewis Howes. What's up, brother?

• 2:33Lewis Howes?

  My man, Dean. Thanks, man. Yeah, I know, we, I wish I could, I wish we were in the same city so I could see you every month. But every time I get to, I get to spend a few days with you, I just want to soak up all the, the time we have together. So I appreciate it.

• 2:45Dean Graziosi?

  Nah, you know, hey, listen, before we get started today, and we're gonna have an amazing interview, and I want to talk about your new book. I want to talk about you moved into your new house. I love the relationship you have. I love watching your evolution. And I think what's so inspiring, Lewis, is sometimes, listen, you have one of the top podcasts in the world, over a half a billion views on your YouTube. I mean, it's amazing. And your, your, your, you know, downloads and listens on your podcast. All of that is amazing. But sometimes, when you're out front, people may assume you got everything figured out. And I think the greatest gift, and the greatest thing you've given to so many, before we get into some really great questions, if you're listening today, no matter where you are, it's great when you see somebody, myself included, and so many

• 3:27Dean Graziosi?

  other, so many others around the world, but watching Lewis, I've watched you transform, brother. You've always been a good man, since the day I met you, maybe nearly a decade ago. I've always been, man, what a good man. But I've watched you look into your weaknesses and say, hey, I don't want to bring that with me into this next relationship, or to this next business evolution, or this next book. How do I become a better version of me to help, help people on the outside? And I've watched you do this. And so many times, you could say, hey, professional football player, professional this, making good money, you know, lots of people want to, want to be your friends. You could say, I'm good, I'll stick here. And what I love about you is you, you never stop growing, you never stop learning, you're afraid, you're not afraid to admit where your failures are, you

• 4:12Dean Graziosi?

  bring them up in public. And I don't know, I just want to say, watching your growth, and watching the amazing relationship you have right now, it's really inspiring. And I just want to give you some kudos, brother.

• 4:24Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate it, Dean. Well, again, it means a lot to me. I received that. And I, and I, and I really believe, I'm not just saying this to throw it back at you, but I really believe that having Wise mentors in my life throughout, you know, from my teens as coaches and then in my twenties in the business world and guys like you who have a lot of success at different levels. For me, that's, that's the models I look at. People that have got it figured out, people that have also struggled and had challenges and overcome them and come out better on the other side. And that's why I think people should be listening to your show and watching the stuff you do because you're a great model of that. And so I just try to look for those models. I know Tony talks about finding a model and, and really try to learn and soak it in and listen and ask interesting

• 5:07Lewis Howes?

  questions and say, okay, let me go try this. See if this works.

• 5:10Dean Graziosi?

  Well, you're really good at it, man. You're really good at it. And, and I, I share that before we get started with kind of a first question. It's fun interviewing people that I know personally because I think I can ask some stuff that most people don't. So I'm hoping to share something you maybe never heard Lewis Howes share before today, which is cool. But secondly, I think it gives everyone hope because all of us have our back against the wall at some point, or maybe while you're listening. The last three years have been a blur to some people. They keep moving the goalpost. Every time you think you got the game figured out, they change the rules. And media is telling us we should hate each other and be so far apart when I think most of us are more alike than apart. All these things cause uncertainty, cause fear, and when that

• 5:55Dean Graziosi?

  happens, people stand still. And I love doing this podcast. I love we're here on Own Your Future because man, if you don't own your future, someone else is gonna. And interviews like this, remember, take what serves you today. Throw the rest away. But if there's one thing today where you go, oh, that's what I need, then take it and run with it. All right, I'm going to ask you a really simple question because I love the answer because they're always different. We're calling this the Own Your Future podcast because I did a challenge a few years ago called Own Your Future and it went monster. I mean, a million people signed up and everybody loved the tagline, if I don't own my future, someone else will. It's like, oh, that is, so to Lewis Howes, when I say, if I ask you, what does it mean to own your future at this time of your life? Not a year ago, not five

• 6:40Dean Graziosi?

  years ago, but what does it mean to own your future?

• 6:43Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting because of the last few years, I've had an emotional coach guide me through a healing journey, guide me through.

• 6:53Lewis Howes?

  Really looking at the details of where I felt triggered or where my nervous system would be reactive as opposed to responding out of love. And over the last few years, I've had different words of intentions for each year going into the new year. And this year is all about authentic ownership. So I love that this is about owning your future because this is the year of authentic ownership for me. And when I think of own your future, I think about remembering your future. A lot of us have memories of the past and those memories keep us stuck in the past if we haven't created new meaning around those memories. I know you had a very challenging childhood. We've talked about these things publicly and privately

• 7:33Lewis Howes?

  about how they affected us. And when we have memories of the past that keep us stuck in the present and in the future, that doesn't serve us. So I love this idea of owning the future and truly remembering the future of who we want to be in the future and drawing that in closer now. That's what I think about when I think of owning your future is about remembering. And instead of remembering all the negative from the past, create new meaning, heal that past so you can start having the space, the clarity to have a vision of the future and draw it closer to us now.

• 8:04Dean Graziosi?

  Man, it's so good. And if you don't mind, I want to, again, I love being with a friend because I feel like I could just be me and ask some serious questions here. I love that. Because I just shared something the other day. Sometimes when we're under pressure, Lewis, when things aren't going perfect, the old version of us can come out.

• 8:23Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 8:24Dean Graziosi?

  Right? So I'm a parent. I hope you get to be a parent today. That we can't wait, just so that's an old mother story.

• 8:34Dean Graziosi?

  My wife, who you know dearly is like, when? So anyway, we'll talk about that on another podcast.

• 8:41Dean Graziosi?

  But I want to tell you something. I'm a parent of a 16 year old, 14 year old, a three year old and a five month old. This past weekend, I did something special for my daughter. I have this amazing relationship with her and I want to raise, you and I have talked. I know the relationship you had with your dad. Mm-hmm. Sorry, you lost your dad. I remember all the emotions and some of the deep conversations and we compared some things and and I know about the learning disability. We have, we have so many things in common. And sometimes that's when we look at it right, those problems become our strength, our wind. Mm-hmm. Not an anchor, but you gotta switch it, right? The other thing I wanted to share though is sometime, I decided to parent differently than my father. And I grew up mostly with my dad. Divorced parents since three, mostly with my dad. My dad being the youngest at 12, this will get someplace, I promise everybody. And then we get to some business stuff.

• 9:26Dean Graziosi?

  Um, but being the youngest of 12, my dad was physically abused, mentally abused, never got help, old school Italian, and, and raised me differently. I was always nervous and he screamed a lot and would break stuff and very violent. I'll leave it at that. This weekend, I've parented different. My daughter's whole life. She's 16. I'm the most, I'm so proud of this woman. I'm proud of her values. I'm proud of her character. She's in 10th grade. She made varsity. She's pitching for the varsity softball team. Wow, that's great. She puts her heart into something. She does it. But there's a couple of things, 16-year-olds. I just ask her a couple of things. One, read a book a week, or read two hours a week of a book I choose and keep her room clean. The other night, I got her, so I'm, it's all gonna land here.

• 10:07Dean Graziosi?

  The other night, I, I surprised her and her friends and got a, I got a box for her and her friends of the softball team to go see Taylor Swift. They had the time of their life. Mmm, wow, that's epic. The next morning, I just asked her to make sure her room was clean and before she left. She left, the room was an absolute disaster. And it happened to be one of these weeks, Louis, I put in seven days. You know, you're in the middle of it. You're promoting your book, traveling all over, you're jumping on planes, you barely sleep. I just had one of those weeks and I was at my wits' end. And something triggered in me, like my dad would, that I didn't feel appreciated. I did all this for her. I asked her one thing to clean her room and I called her and I

• 10:50Dean Graziosi?

  literally unloaded on her using swear words, profanity, anger, exactly like I got treated three days a week. I have not done, Louis, I don't know if I've ever done it before. And the only reason I'm sharing that is I, now, we went to dinner last night, we made up, I told her about my past, I told her, we are bonded deeper and I gave her my word it would never happen again. She was wrong, but I told her, don't you ever let any man talk to you that way, even your father, right?

• 11:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 11:16Dean Graziosi?

  But I wanted to share that for a reason, and then I want to get to the real question I had, is because I have not seen that version of me. I work on personal development every day. I'm with you three or four times a year, we're working on, I'm partners with Tony Robbins. I've written multiple books on it. I, I listen to personal development every day. Your book is literally slated, I started it this morning, I freaking absolutely love it. This is what I do, I live it, I breathe it, and still, under pressure, after a tough week, after a trigger and a snap, I unloaded on my daughter like a, like I hated as a child. So, as you share focus into the future, that was a long question, I apologize, but I wanted to get to it.

• 11:54Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 11:55Dean Graziosi?

  Focus on the future, not the past. Sometimes the past is sticky like Velcro and, and pressure can bring it out. What advice can you give to people, say, I want to focus on my future and only my future, but Louis, you don't understand?

• 12:10Lewis Howes?

  Well, I think it's really, uh, I think it's really inspiring how honest you are about that and how you kind of unleashed and were the, the worst quote unquote version of yourself emotionally on this phone call with your daughter, but how you also reconciled it. I think it's, you know, I love the, the thing about Wayne Dyer, where he used to tell a story, I don't know if you remember this story, but he used to tell this story about, you know, an orange, and he would take it out on stage and he would talk about this orange and say, when you squeeze an orange, when you apply pressure to an orange, what comes out of the orange is orange juice. And when you apply pressure to a human, what comes out of the human is what's inside. And you know, that might have been there in your past, that that anger and frustration. And it came out in that moment because you had a ton of pressure.

• 12:55Lewis Howes?

  And it sounds like it's the only time that's happened. And it just might have been, you also got like punched in the face by your son. You were like beaten up, you had a black eye. So it was like, you have all this pressure happening at once. And I think that's just hard to manage. And it's hard to expect that we're going to be perfect under pressure.

• 13:11Dean Graziosi?

  Absolutely. And, and by the way, my, my three year old jumped off the couch. I didn't get beat up by my older son. But, uh, but my question to you is, I know your past. Only because we're dear friends and we don't have to go there today. But I know the disability, you know, learning disability. I know the relationship with your dad. I know the insecurities that no one saw. How do you not let that come out in your life when you're the orange being squeezed?

• 13:36Lewis Howes?

  There was a moment where, I don't know, about a week and a half ago, in the middle of my book launch, where I had a, a moment similar to that, where I was like, everything was coming apart. It felt like internally, because I couldn't control the externals and things weren't following. They weren't happening the way I wanted to. And I remember I had my phone in my hand and there was a moment in me where I wanted to throw it against the wall. And I remember having this moment where I was like, okay, I really want to throw this and scream right now. And Martha was in the room and there was nothing she did or said. I was just kind of in a frustrating moment of stuff happening. And I, and I literally remembered the future. I remembered the future and I was like, what is the highest version of me? What would he do in this moment?

• 14:17Lewis Howes?

  Now I had to have a moment of clarity to stop myself, but I wanted to, because that's what I used to do in the past.

• 14:23Dean Graziosi?

  So good.

• 14:23Lewis Howes?

  React with anger.

• 14:25Dean Graziosi?

  This is what I wanted.

• 14:25Lewis Howes?

  And, and, and I think the reason why, the only reason why I didn't throw the phone, yell and explode. Doesn't mean I wasn't frustrated and kind of like huffing and puffing, but I wasn't explosive. It's because I truly believe it's because I've been on a healing journey. And I've for the last two years, over two years now, uh, almost every two weeks, I have an emotional coaching session with a, a trained emotional coach. I, like you, I, I can go to the gym and have a great coach guide me in workouts. I can have a nutritionist coaching me. I can have a business coach, which I, you know, I've got lots of them. I can have all these different coaches in life, but a lot of us don't have emotional coaches.

• 15:09Lewis Howes?

  And we can read and listen to podcasts and go to events and all these different things, which are all incredibly helpful reminders and tools. But I truly believe the emotions and the way we think are running in our body and our minds constantly. Our nervous system is always on, you know, on guard. And if we don't have a coach guiding us or some accountability or some, something beyond books and podcasts and tools and events that are all awesome, then there might be moments where we react. And again, this doesn't make us bad or horrible. I have compassion for myself. I have compassion for you. If we're screaming, we fall off the track, we're not perfect. We're human beings. We're going to be out of integrity at times.

• 15:52Lewis Howes?

  But I, I, what has worked for me is having an emotional coach and knowing that every two weeks, I'm gonna get to process, I'm gonna get more tools, I'm gonna get to have catharsisism, I'm gonna get to calm my nervous system and continue to own and remember my future of what my vision is and keep that closer to me now. And that process of consistent emotional coaching has worked for me. Now, I, like you, uh, have done many meditation retreats. I've done many workshops. I've done all, you know, cold therapy, everything you can think of. I, I've probably done it. Um, and they all work great, but it's the consistency of the emotional.

• 16:32Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, I mean, it's just like going to the gym, right? I mean, we, as you said, we have to train our emotions. And, and I just want to, I want to stop for a minute and just share what you said, because I'm gonna take this, Louis, is in the moment, if I would have remembered the man that I've been working to be and the man I want to become, the father I want to continue to be better, in the moment. I have goosebumps. That is something I hope every single one of you heard and take away because we all get red. We all get in the moment and I feel like we're in the red. Man, we go right back to the person we've been running away from. That's owning our past, not owning our future. And I love what you said. You took a moment and that's because you're in this every two weeks. You're doing this coach. You took a moment and go, is this

• 17:16Dean Graziosi?

  the man I want to be to Martha? Is this the man I want to be to my future children? Is this the example I want to be to friends? Is this the person I want to be when I look in the mirror? And that is a practice. Thank you for me and I hope all of you. That is a practice I will be more in because I haven't gone red like that in a really long time. In fact, I didn't even know it was still in me, Lewis. And so with that, thank you. Thank you for being vulnerable.

• 17:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course. And there's a beast. I was just telling this to Martha yesterday, actually. You know, I was like, there's a beast inside of me. And I have learned how to tame the beast. I've learned how to calm the beast. That doesn't mean that if I see something unjust, that in my mind, I can think crazy thoughts and think, I want to go destroy this person, or I want to go defend this, or I want to go unleash my power and will against something, or I want to go destroy something. Like I have these thoughts. And, you know, in some ways, I'm glad there's a beast inside of me for if I ever need to protect myself physically. But we go through these, you know, the beast comes, the beast

• 18:20Lewis Howes?

  comes out when there's a lot of emotional or psychological wounds, or responses, or pressure, and we don't need that physical or reactive beast to come out.

• 18:30Dean Graziosi?

  I would bet to say you have, and, and I think myself and everybody listening right now or watching right now is, it's good to have that beast, especially if you tame it. Because the power of that beast is why when someone says, oh, no, podcasts are hard to do. No, I don't care. I'm going to have a top podcast in the world. The beast came out, but the beast came out in a polite, elegant, I'm not giving up. Right?

• 18:51Lewis Howes?

  Loving, loving way.

• 18:52Dean Graziosi?

  Right? Like when, when you go through and you say, hey, relationships are hard, but the strength, the tiger in me, I'm coming out and I'm going to do what it takes to attract an amazing woman and have a really great relationship. This beast come out with me. I'm going to write a book and, and, and travel all over the world, do whatever it takes to make it a New York Times bestseller. So I can change lives, get people a new mindset. I think, I think it's not just taming, I think we have the beast, and I think we all do, is how do we use that as fuel, not the thing that can hurt us, right? I think in my life, I'm, I'm not the same size, I always joke when I'm with you, it's like, I'm, I'm five, seven and a half, but I have an inner strength that I've learned to really target and point the arrow in the right direction.

• 19:36Dean Graziosi?

  And I think that's a great lesson for today, didn't know we were gonna go down that road, is we all have that hunger, we all have that beast, whatever you wanna call it, that inner hero, it's just, how do we spend the right energy? How do we point that, that arrow in the right direction and unload it for a bigger future, rather than dragging you backwards?

• 19:54Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, and it's funny you talk about, you know, you're five, seven and a half, and I love you throwing the half, you know, anyone who's

• 20:00Dean Graziosi?

  When you're five, seven, you throw in the half, dude.

• 20:02Lewis Howes?

  I get it, it's funny because, uh, the side note here, there was a guy that came up to me the other day at the gym, and he goes, "Man, you're so tall." And he was probably, I don't know, your height, somewhere around there, and I go, "You know what? This, this has happened to me multiple times where guys come up to me, and they're like, "Man, can, can you give me a couple inches?" And I always say this, I go like, you know, the shorter guys always get the hottest wives, they always make more money, they're always smarter, funnier, more intelligent than the tall guys, so, you know, and he's like, "Yeah, but I still, I still want a couple inches."

• 20:33Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, no, I would thank you for that. Um, all right, well, thank you for being involved, I got a couple other questions I had written down for you. Um, in a, in a world gone mad, which, I'm 54, and I've been through a lot, I've been through transitions, I've been through a lot of stuff, shifts in market, recessions, all those things, but I've never seen a time kind of so uncertain as this, in the meaning of questioning ourselves, and, and feeling polarized, and feeling like confused on, on the way things are moving, and the way people think, and are we really on a like, or, so, long story short, I feel like it's a, a, an uncertain time, simultaneously, don't know

• 21:16Dean Graziosi?

  where the economy's going, currently as we're recording this, we got banks, a couple banks went out, could be they're predicting another 200 banks are gonna go out, it's a shifting time. So in that, people can tend to, and you know, this is our study, people can tend to not realize it, but back up into the goal, sit on their hands and go, "Hey, let me just see what happens." And you can't own your future by seeing what happens. This is not a time to play small. It's not a time to blame. It's not a time, it could be the last president, could be the current president, could be the next one. But blame has never solved anything. So I wanted to ask you a question. Do you remember a moment in history, maybe it's always been this way for you, where you decided to take complete ownership for your future?

• 21:59Dean Graziosi?

  Meaning if stuff goes right, that's on me, I did that. But when it goes wrong, it's not the partner or the relationship you're in, or the government, or the president. There's no way you've had the success you've had in all areas of your life, without you being complete ownership of your outcome, even if someone screws you over. Was there a moment, was it a slow ride? I'd love to hear that.

• 22:21Lewis Howes?

  Well, I think when the last recession happened, 2008, when I was on my sister's couch, you know, recovering from an injury in football. I was there for a year and a half. And I remember my sister, after about a year and three months on my sister's couch, she gave me an incredible gift. She said, Louis, you gotta start paying rent. And you need to go get a job. And at that point, for a year, year and three months, I was kind of moping around, just like mooching off of her, just getting free food, living for free, not taking ownership of my future. And that was a great gift she gave me, where she was like, you need to either pay rent, or you need to move out. So you gotta get a job. And I remember applying for jobs online. This was back in Craigslist days, 2008.

• 23:06Lewis Howes?

  So I was applying for jobs on Craigslist, and I found a job opportunity. And I was like, I think I could like this job. And I got an interview. And I remember opening the door to go out of my sister's house to head to this interview, for the job interview. And I could not take a step outside of the door. I had the door open, I was looking out at the car that I was gonna take to go there, and I couldn't take a step on the steps to go down into the sidewalk, into the car. Because I started to see the future of me taking this action. I started to see like, I'm gonna land this job. I had a big ego back then. So I was like, they're gonna love me. I'm gonna get this job. It's gonna be easy. And then I'm gonna work really hard. I'm gonna climb this ladder in this career. I'm gonna work my way up.

• 23:50Lewis Howes?

  You know, it's gonna be awesome. And I just saw five years flash by and I was like, this is not really what I want my future to be. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't the exact vision. And that was the moment I took full ownership. I was just like, I'm gonna overcome all the fears. I'm gonna learn these skills. I'm gonna get more mentors. And now I've got to figure out how to make money on my own. And that's when I, I think that's right around the time I learned about you and, you know, I think I met you like within that next year, I think. Um, at Josh Bizony's event. I don't know if you remember that. On a boat, on a boat in Austin. Yeah. On, on Lake Austin or whatever. And I just said, okay, I need to learn. I need to learn from mentors and I need to get new skills, new tools and overcome these fears. That was one moment where I said, you know, I'm gonna take full ownership of my life.

• 24:36Lewis Howes?

  And I remember saying to myself at that time, I will never feel vulnerable in another recession again. And so I prepared myself for 2020. And I said, this is gonna happen. And when I was with you and Tony, I think the year before it was uh, in October, the year before, I think in 2019, we were in Fiji. And, and you and Tony were saying, you know, winter is coming. We didn't know it was gonna happen that, that quickly, but it, it came. And, and I remember saying, okay, I'm ready for this. And I owned that moment even more. I went all in on saying, how can I serve? How can I give to my community? How can I find new revenue streams? How can I show up in different ways? And so I, 2008, 2009 was the first moment. And I just said, never again

• 25:19Lewis Howes?

  will I be unprepared for whatever comes my way. And I've had that mentality of just making sure that I, you know, I saved my money. I invest my money. I diversified. I, I continue to overcome challenges. I continue to learn new skills. And I think for me, the most important thing is I continue to have coaching and be coachable. Yep. To be able to adapt and be flexible in these moments of uncertainty. And over the last few years, it has been stressful with all the uncertainty in the world, not because of what's happening in the world, but more because I was in challenging, a challenging relationship and dealing with that.

• 25:55Lewis Howes?

  But I had peace outside of that with navigating the business stuff. It was more like I still had demons inside of me. I had to heal and mend. And that's where the coaching gave me clarity to create that freedom and peace within me. And now I just feel a sense of peace with what's happening in the world around me while being in the middle of a book launch, moving into a new home and doing all these changes. I've never felt this much peace in general. I had that one moment where I was kind of under pressure and wanted to throw my phone. But in general, I've felt very peaceful over these last couple of months with all these big changes and things happening.

• 26:32Lewis Howes?

  And um, and I think it's just I keep making the decision to own my future, to remember the future of the highest version of myself that I want to be. And trying to step into that daily. Now, again, in no way am I a perfect human being. I've been, you know, eating tons of junk food these last few weeks while I'm traveling and off the, you know. Not working out as much as I want to, but in general, the inner world is peaceful because I keep being humble in my ability to be coached. Finding mentors, you know, reaching out for support, like with guys like you. And really not being afraid to reach out for support. I think a lot of people try to do it on their own and that's what hurts them.

• 27:12Lewis Howes?

  I've always been open. I, I work really hard on my own, but I'm also like, I need to, I need to answer to a question I have. Let me reach out to Dean. Let me reach out to this person. And get that support. And I think that supports me in moving beyond all these different challenges of the world.

• 27:30Dean Graziosi?

  What a great answer. And I love, you know, I've been saying to myself for probably two decades, Lewis, there's no one coming to save me. It's an inner mantra. I probably haven't shared it with the outside world until about three years ago. But for 20 years, every time something going wrong, oh, a partner stole my money. I made a wrong, advertising isn't work. The, the campaign didn't do, the launch didn't work. I don't, my brain doesn't go, oh, who, I go, no one coming to save me. I, I create this. If there's a bad partnership, I've wronged in the right, wronged in the wrong partner. I'm in a bad marriage, okay, I'm probably half of the problem, maybe 60% of the problem of this marriage. No one's coming to save me. It's on me to fix it. And I think, this sounds like I'm patting myself on the back. I'm not. It was a blessing and a gift that I just adopted that because when it happened,

• 28:13Dean Graziosi?

  it's so liberating. Cause you got no fingers to point. Like, it's not, you're not so concerned about what happens in the outside world because you're mastering the inner game. It's on me. This went great, I'll take the credit. Went wrong, okay, I'll take the blame. And I know you do that because I watch you do it and, and I know you reach out. Hey, in a moment here, I want to talk more about your book, but I see why your new book's on fire. I see why it's so, for lack of a better word, I can't wait to read the entire thing. Is it's because you're, what, what people have to realize when you write a book like this, it's not saying Lewis has all the answers for the greatest mindset in the world. No, Lewis has a lot of the answers because he's had life experience,

• 28:54Dean Graziosi?

  does the coaching, does the mentor. I'm in a mastermind with Lewis at least a couple of times a year where we're asking questions, going deeper. And what we get to do, because Lewis and I are in the same business, we get to impact people for a living. I mean, how freaking cool is that? I want to ask you about that in a minute. But we get to share our life experience and then find a way to give it to you. So hopefully you take what serves you and throw the rest away. So you make that shift. So you don't let the red come out and be the old version of you. So you can own your future. So you could focus on solutions. So you can take complete ownership. And we do these things from our heart. And the reason I call Lewis a friend is because his, his gift is to serve. Does he want a successful company behind it?

• 29:34Dean Graziosi?

  Here's a secret. Yes, and he should, and he deserves it. I want to impact millions of lives. I still want to employ my 140 people that, that work in the office here because we get to do both at the same time. So I'm gonna share in a moment here and, and it'll be in the notes, but go to lewishouse.com forward slash GM book. GM book. lewishouse.com forward slash GM book. Get Lewis's book. We all need it. Listen, it is my practice. I don't.

• 30:05Dean Graziosi?

  I don't miss a week. Every single week I am listening to a book because every book I listen to, I see some of them on your shelves there, the same ones I've listened to. Every book I listen to or read gives me something that helps me become the version of the man I want to be, to own my future even more, not in an ego way, but just becoming better. To have the relationship I have, I'm blessed to have the most amazing relationship I could have ever dreamed of, but I had to do the work and I gotta work on it every day, right? So, go get Lewis's book. I got a couple of questions for you. We're in the same business. I mean, let's just pull the curtain back. We get to deliver, share. You do so much of

• 30:47Dean Graziosi?

  it free with your podcast and with interviews and with YouTube videos. I love all your YouTube stuff. If you're not following Lewis on YouTube, you should. If you're not following his podcast, you should. But we're in the business of selling what we know, right? We give, you give so much away for free, but you sell a book. I hope you have a high level mastermind. I hope you have a monthly continuity that you, people could be in. What does it mean? I mean, neither one of us in school, when we were struggling to friggin' read with dyslexia or whatever it is we all have, would have ever thought that people be listening to us that would be educators. But really, we're not educators saying we have all the answers, but we have some in the swimming lane that we're in. So what does it mean? Or what does

• 31:32Dean Graziosi?

  it feel? Or what is the definition to you of saying, you sell what you know, that's your business? What's the best part of that to you?

• 31:42Lewis Howes?

  I love it. And I think, you know, I took it a different level from selling what I know to selling what others know and facilitating conversations.

• 31:51Dean Graziosi?

  I knew you were gonna say that. That's what I was hoping for.

• 31:53Lewis Howes?

  And for me, it's, you know, I started 10 years ago in the podcast. You know, I was doing online marketing before that, but 10 years ago, I started my School of Greatness show. And I didn't want it to make it about me, because at the time, I felt like, okay, I didn't have a lot of the answers. I had some answers, but I really wanna go on a journey of, of learning from mentors. So, and that's, I think, a beautiful thing that I know you teach and Tony teaches as well. It's like, you don't have to be the expert. You can interview experts. You can interview and... And write about them. You can storytell about their wisdom and do just as well, if not better. I think Oprah did this fantastically for decades. She shined a light on everyone else. And by doing so, you know, the light shined even brighter back on her by everyone that she facilitated

• 32:37Lewis Howes?

  and supported and lifted up. It all came back, you know, a million fold into her over the years. And then she became the expert in the process. And so that's kind of been my journey is how can I serve and elevate other voices? And now after 10 years, I feel like I have this authentic ownership of sharing more of my voice. That's why for me, this book was the right time because I felt like, okay, now I feel really confident in what I've learned internally.

• 33:03Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 33:04Lewis Howes?

  And what I've learned externally. So now I can speak about these things with a sense of ownership, with a sense of belief, with a sense of peace that I, that I'm not speaking about things I don't know. And I'm also owning what I do know. And this really supports me in having more confidence that this, this season and stage after a decade of doing the show.

• 33:24Dean Graziosi?

  I have to tell you, Louis, if you didn't write a book, it would be a disservice to the world.

• 33:29Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 33:30Dean Graziosi?

  Because you are, I mean, where did, where did Thinking Grow Rich come from? Napoleon Hill interviewing 50 of the wealthiest people or more than 50 of the wealthiest people in the world at that time? How many interviews have you done in the last decade? Do you know?

• 33:43Lewis Howes?

  Well, 1,400 episodes, those aren't all interviews, but probably close to a thousand.

• 33:47Dean Graziosi?

  Oh my God, literally at a thousand episodes, every one, you're like, oh crap, I gotta put that in my life. Oh, that's good. And my health, my life, my love, my future, my finances. And, and the collectiveness of that, oh my God, is so rich. And, and I think what's cool about this industry is before the internet, before podcasts, before we could be connected right now, we, we couldn't be in proximity. So now we're doing this virtually, right? Before that, when you wanted to learn something, you hope you got a book or you hope you found a mentor in your town. Now we have the opportunity to say, hey, I want to have a better mindset. A guy that interviewed a thousand people, 1,500 episodes, and now he took, and he gets a coach every two weeks on mindset?

• 34:31Dean Graziosi?

  And he's willing to share his vulnerability? Sign me up. I'll take that, right? And it's why, it's why we encourage so many people, everybody should be sharing what they know. Whether it's a podcast, a course, a book, a mastermind, a workshop, literally everybody should. Because we all have something. That could allow someone to get quicker through an issue that they're at.

• 34:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think if you don't feel like if you're just getting started, because I know a lot of people in your audience are probably like just getting started or they're transitioning from one career and they want to start a side hustle or start their business on the side or launch an online course. And you may feel like, well, I don't have the training or the tools or the certifications or the, you know, the years that Dean has or that Lewis has or whatever it might be. I think it's really interesting, but your perspective on a topic through curating information can also be a powerful way of teaching.

• 35:21Dean Graziosi?

  I love that.

• 35:21Lewis Howes?

  It's your perspective on curating information. I have my perspective, again, in the greatness mindset. It's, it's a collection of all the inner, the best of the best moments of interviews from scientists, neuroscientists, therapists, doctors, you know, business stars and leaders and things like that. And sharing my perspective of my journey on how you can be great with your mindset and how you can overcome your fears, your insecurities, your self doubt. You might have your own perspective of how you've done that and other tools and lessons that you've learned that reach certain communities, that inspire certain communities. And there might be a community that you could serve better than I could serve or Dean could serve.

• 36:02Dean Graziosi?

  Absolutely.

• 36:03Lewis Howes?

  You know, you might have a background in knitting or in CrossFit and that's your community. You own it, you know it, and you speak to that micro community. But in these micro communities are typically the most passionate fans, the most passionate individuals that want to learn from someone in their space. You know, Dean and I are broader, right? So we reach lots of different communities, but you might be able to impact someone even greater in a community that you live and breathe and sleep in all day long. That's CrossFit or knitting or cycling or whatever it might be. But speaking to those communities from your personal experience is how you can serve greater. And again, I think the guy's name is Kevin Kelly, is that his name? Where he talked about a thousand true fans.

• 36:46Lewis Howes?

  You don't need millions of followers on Instagram to make a lot of money. You need 1,000 true fans to really generate six figures. If you can master certain things and if you can execute certain things and you talk about it, mastermind.com and all these different things that we have these tools available. You don't need millions, you don't need hundreds of thousands. If you can get a thousand true fans, you can make a full-time income doing what you love.

• 37:11Dean Graziosi?

  Wow, well, everybody, I didn't pay Lewis for that rant, but that was amazing. And that's, and you know, that's what we preach from mountaintops, right? One of the things we say is to own your future, whatever way that is, own it. One great way is to do it through sharing what you know. Tell me, hold your book up again. I love the cover. It's mine's at home and I forgot to bring it. I love the book. I love the cover. Let me just ask you one question about that. What is your, I know a book, I'm six in, they're a labor of love. And then promoting them is a labor of love. What is your favorite part about that book? If you had to pick one thing and say, I love this book, but this one thing I love.

• 37:47Lewis Howes?

  Page 201, page 201, I'll open it up real quick for you. There's a graph and there's a graph that talks about the six distinctions of a powerless mindset versus a greatness mindset. And if you just open up page 201, and that's all you do with this book, and you go through these things and you do a self-assessment and you ask yourself, am I living more in a powerless mindset versus a greatness mindset? Just, it doesn't make you good or bad, right or wrong either way. Is this serving me? Is this empowering me? Is this supporting me to accomplishing my goals, my dreams, to having more love, more fulfillment and having more peace? Eckhart Tolle says, the number one thing that people want at the end of the day is inner peace. And I'm a big believer in that.

• 38:31Lewis Howes?

  We may think we want money. We may think we want to sleep with a lot of women. We may think we want, you know, all the accomplishments in the world, but at the end of the day, we want those things because we think they're going to give us inner peace, acceptance, self-love, that we are enough. And that's one of our biggest fears, that we are not enough. And when we're driven by not enoughness, we allow the powerless mindset to drive us to accomplish goals. And when we accomplish them, we still don't feel enough. Doesn't mean, you know, we're right or wrong, good or bad. It just means we still feel insecure and doubting ourself. And I believe self-doubt is the killer of dreams. And it's the thing that holds us back the most. That's my thesis over the last 10 years. I wanted to interview everyone about how do they overcome self-doubt?

• 39:13Lewis Howes?

  The self, doesn't matter how much talent, knowledge, wisdom we have. I know so many people way more talented than me that lack the courage to act on their goals and dreams. And I'm like, give me some of your talent. Give me some of your wisdom. Give me some of your capabilities and I'll do amazing things with it. But when we don't believe in ourselves, we hold back our gifts, our talents. And so on page 201, the powerless mindset, I'll just read them out for everyone here. There's six key things of the powerless mindset. And this doesn't mean you're not a good person and you're not loving and generous. It just means these things hold you back from acting on your gifts. You lack a meaningful mission.

• 39:54Lewis Howes?

  The enemy of greatness is being unclear, not being clear on what you want for this season or a stage of life. That could be a six month season, it could be six years, it doesn't matter. But just being clear, I wanna, you know, get off my sister's couch. That can be a meaningful mission. It doesn't mean you have to get clear on the rest of your life. It's just where are you heading right now? Lacking a meaningful mission makes you feel powerless, makes you feel like everyone's against you or you're being pulled in every direction. Your energy is not in focus. The second thing is being controlled by fear. We're all gonna face different fears through different stages and seasons of life. You know, I'm not a father yet, I'm sure I'm gonna have some insecurities and fears I'm gonna have to overcome and face when that comes. I had to move into my first home, there were some insecurities and fears I needed to face.

• 40:39Lewis Howes?

  But when we're controlled by fear, it just holds us back from acting courageously. So we need to learn how to do that. We're crippled by self doubt. Again, this is the third thing in the powerless mindset. When self doubt cripples you, you shrink your masterpiece.

• 40:55Dean Graziosi?

  Imposter syndrome, they call it in today's world, right?

• 40:57Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, exactly. And you just shrink. So we have to learn what the root cause of our own self doubt is. And I have an entire process in the book about overcoming that. The fourth thing is, this is a big thing, there's over 20,000 books on mindset and success. And I don't hear a lot of them talking about this, which is, the powerless mindset is when you conceal past pains. Now, I'm not saying you need to share all your pain to the world constantly or something. But if you have a darkness inside of you that you're unwilling to speak to one person about, or you're unwilling to write down in a face and address, that darkness will always chase you. As you keep running after something and trying to run away from it, it'll keep following

• 41:41Lewis Howes?

  you, it'll haunt you. And so learning how to not conceal past pains, that's the powerless mindset. Defined by the opinions of others, you're probably one of the best at this, Dean, by not being defined by what others think of you, and it allows you to have freedom to act courageously, make mistakes and keep going and not worry about criticism or judgment. You learn with feedback, but it doesn't hold you back. Most people are crippled by the opinions of others and it makes them powerless. And the sixth one is drifting towards complacency. Again, there are seasons and stages of life that we should relax, recover and all those different things, but when we lack a meaningful mission and we just drift towards complacency forever, it just means we're not using our gifts and talents with our friends, our

• 42:26Lewis Howes?

  family to the best of our ability. So those are the six things. Just think about those six things and say, am I living in any of these areas of my life with these six elements? If so, it doesn't mean I'm bad and wrong. I had all six of these at one point and they might come up momentarily at different times. And it just means we're more powerless as opposed to powerful in stepping into the greatness mindset. And I'll just read them really quickly, these six in the greatness mindset. Driven by a meaningful mission, not by fear, not by anger, not by resentment, not by frustration, but driven by a meaningful mission. And when I talk about meaningful, it's more than just you, it has to include

• 43:07Lewis Howes?

  others in the mission. That is more meaningful. And a lot of people don't know in one sentence what their meaningful mission is. We talk about the process of how to discover that. I just think the clarity gives you focus. It doesn't mean you're going to accomplish.

• 43:21Dean Graziosi?

  Guys, I hope you're really taking this. I didn't mean to interrupt you, Chris, but I hope you're really taking this in. I know this is a quick interview and you're just getting the high level, but these are the fundamentals of life. Everybody's looking for the miracle, the magic button. They're looking for the invention. They're looking for the mindset shift. And it's the little things that are the big things. You know, I heard somebody say one time is small hinges swing a big door. I feel that about mindset. These things as Lewis shares, you may have heard them before. You may think they're little, but are you actually utilizing them in your life? Are they a practice in your life? These are the little things that have become the big things in my life. And I'm so happy. I want to hear the rest of them. And for all of you, listen, go to Amazon and get, get his book.

• 44:06Dean Graziosi?

  Like right now, go get Greatest Mindset at Amazon or go to LewisHowes.com forward slash GM book. We'll put the link in the notes. I am pushing this book. I don't get an affiliate commission. I'm not doing it for recipe. I'm doing it because I know this man and I know we're in a cloudy time in history and we need these types of principles to find our way to find opportunity rather than obstacles, to see solutions, not the prevention. And what an amazing time the release is. All right, you got four, four more, I think.

• 44:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:35Dean Graziosi?

  That I want to hear.

• 44:36Lewis Howes?

  So that was, yeah, yeah. So turns fears into confidence. Again, we all are going to have fears at different stages and levels of life, but learning how to turn it into confidence. One of the best ways to do that is to create a fear list. When we, when we face and look at our fears by writing them down and say, okay, this is my fear list. And then we say, I'm going to do everything in my power to go all in on these fears until these fears disappear. That gives us the confidence and it gives us a new skillset when we overcome those fears. So turn fears into confidence. Overcome the self doubt. Again, you got to get to the root of what that I'm not enoughness is coming from and learn how to overcome a self doubt. Healing past pain.

• 45:16Lewis Howes?

  This is, this is a thing that again, for many years I was driven to achieve, but I was running away from the past pain. And so it kept coming up and I was even way more explosive, you know, and reactive than you were. I was like that almost every week on the basketball court or with friends or in business. I was much more defensive 10 years ago and reactive because I wasn't healing the past pains. I was driven by the past pain to show and prove and win and accomplish. And so we've got to heal past pains. The fifth one is create a healthy identity. Ten years ago, I created a new identity where I used to say I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, I'm a dummy. I'm, you know, I'm never going to amount to something intelligence wise.

• 46:00Lewis Howes?

  And then I shifted it and created a new contract with self. And I said, I am a loving, passionate, wise man. I had an emotional contract with self. And I had to start living into that on a consistent basis and finding ways where I could believe those things as opposed to the past contract. And the sixth one is you take an act, you take action with a game plan. So these are all the six elements of the greatness mindset on page two oh one of the book. And I, and I, and I'll, you know, kind of recap it with this. I, I interviewed this brain surgeon who was an amazing interview. He's not famous, but I think it did like a few million views. His name was Dr. Rahul Dhandial.

• 46:43Lewis Howes?

  And he has done over a thousand brain surgeries, but he's also a PhD in neuroscience. So he studies thoughts in the mind, but he also studies the brain. And, and it's understands the connection between matter and what's not material, but spiritual essentially. And I said, what's the number one skill after all that you've learned from neuroscience and brain surgeries that every human being should learn to master? And he said, emotional regulation. Now, this is a brain scientist. Wow.

• 47:22Lewis Howes?

  Talking about emotions and how much our emotions tie into, you know, causing cancer, causing pain, hurt in the world and hurt against ourselves. And again, when we can learn to master our emotions through healing, through processing, through learning new tools, through overcoming fears and self doubt and creating new meaning from the past, so that The past pains actually add value to us and we we can learn to appreciate even as horrible and horrific as things that happen, if we can learn to create new meaning. I know Tony talks about this with, I think his mom used to beat him and you know, put soap down his throat or

• 48:01Lewis Howes?

  whatever it was, and create new meaning behind these moments, then it empowers us and it and we can own our future in the present now because we've created new meaning from the past. And I think that's what allows us to have emotional regulation.

• 48:17Dean Graziosi?

  God, so good, Louis. I'm so glad we got the chance to share this with so many people. And I mean, if you think about, if you want to give your future self a gift tomorrow, if you look at the end of your life and you wish you could go back, imagine how great it is today, you can give your future self the gift of making shifts, of making those changes that we've been talking about, thinking about, you heard it. But what if this was the day you said, I'm changing, one little shift at a time, not at all overnight. Louis, I love that you wrote this book and I hope everybody goes out and grabs it and keeps going. Hey, one thing we, I was inspired by you guys when we were all together in California, on the podcast, what I've been doing, last interview I did with Trent Shelton went really great. I said, if you have any question you'd like

• 49:01Dean Graziosi?

  to ask me, if there's anything, you guys inspired me to do this. Is there anything that I can help you with on your book, for business, for marketing, for life, love, you know, I'm a little bit ahead of you, I'm a little bit ahead of you, married to a Mexican woman. So I'm just a few steps ahead of you there. So if I could give you any advice there.

• 49:18Lewis Howes?

  I got, I got a question. I got, I got, I got, well, I'm always gonna have lots of questions for you, but I want to ask you a question. I think it'll be resonate for the audience here. I don't know if you, and cut this out if this, if this isn't public yet, but um, dude, does your audience know you're, you're doing something with McConaughey?

• 49:37Dean Graziosi?

  They will, they will by now.

• 49:38Lewis Howes?

  Okay, okay, cool. Well, I'll ask this then, because, you know, I won't say what you're doing then, but you, you've built a relationship with him. And I love his speech when he won the Oscars.

• 49:49Dean Graziosi?

  Me too.

• 49:50Lewis Howes?

  He said, I'm always chasing, I'm always chasing the 10 year hero, version of myself, my hero, right? You're 54 at 64, which I think is Tony's age.

• 50:00Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 50:00Lewis Howes?

  Um, 63, 64. At 64, what will your 64 year old self, 10 years ahead, your future owned self, say to you now, but the one piece of advice that you should be stepping into for this next decade? So to own your future.

• 50:16Dean Graziosi?

  Wow, you put it back on me.

• 50:18Lewis Howes?

  What would your 64 year old self, if you could step into that for a moment? And imagine, you know, how old your kids are, you know, now they're, they're 12, they're 14, they're 26, they're 24, they're out of college, you have a different stage of life, your marriage is at a certain place, your business has exploded even more, you have, you've impacted hundreds of millions of lives on a monthly basis with your service and your mission. What will your 64 year old self say to you now? As the piece of advice to own that future and step into it now?

• 50:52Dean Graziosi?

  Wow, what, dude, I knew you'd put this back on me, uh, in a good way. Uh, I, I want to tell you real quick, um, a decade ago, um, almost a decade ago, I was going through some shifts. I was going through a divorce. Um, I was really worried about my kids because I was a child of nine divorces. My parents got married and divorced a lot. I just was projecting, they would feel the same stuff I felt, even though I'm not the same man, not same situation. You know, you gotta go back and do that healing. And I remember sitting with Tony Robbins, I flew to his house and I was like, I was in a, an angst place worrying about my kids. And, and he just looked at me and I was three or four years away from being 50. And he looked at me and said something we've all heard, and you've heard Lewis and I've heard, but it was in this moment that I heard it.

• 51:36Dean Graziosi?

  He said, let's talk about all this stuff. I don't want to know what you're going to do. I want to know, who do you want to become in your 50s? And it's not profound, but it was profound in the moment. Sometimes it's the message, sometimes it's the timing, sometimes they come together. And I remember I just stopped talking.

• 51:58Dean Graziosi?

  And I literally went back to my hotel room after being in his house for several hours. I just started writing who I wanted to become. I want to be a more connected man. I want to be the man that attracts an amazing woman, not just look for an amazing woman to be attracted to me and heal me. I need to heal. Like you want to become a man. I want my children to feel connected and alive and, and not, not obsessed on success, obsessed on being a fulfilled human. So what can I do to empower? And I just kept writing down who I wanted to become the man that could be friends with his ex, but a true friend. So our kids don't feel fragmented. And this stuff just kept pouring out of me. And as you were asking me that, I'm like, wow, it's been almost 10 years. I need to ask myself, who do I want to become in my 60s?

• 52:43Dean Graziosi?

  You know, I'm 54, I'll be 55 this year, but who I, who do I want to become? And I would say, I love what I do for a living. I love that I get the chance to be friends with amazing people like you and, and, and be in a place where I get to help impact lives. I'm not everything, I'm not getting straight A's and everything, but the areas that I'm good at. I can help people go faster while we grow a business. I would say the man I want to become, I want to make sure that I'm truly a next level present father and husband. Because I could provide all the things in the world, but if I'm not there for the little things, then, then I missed it. Um, I have some younger ones, so I'll have some, I'll still have kids in their teens.

• 53:23Dean Graziosi?

  And I, I definitely know that I love what I do so much that I have to find more balance. Cause I will choose work over anything else because I love what I do. So thank you for asking that question.

• 53:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. So you think your 64 year old self would tell you to find more balance?

• 53:38Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, find more balance. Yep. Find more balance for sure. Cause I am, I definitely love what I do. I drive hard. I drive hard. I drive harder now than ever before, and I don't need to. So thank you for that amazing question. Last thing, last thing, um, I'd love to know who in your life, sometimes there are people in your life that it's obvious to thank. And there's some people who may have done you wrong or weren't perfect. But because of that, you're the man you are today. So before we end, who would you like to thank today for the man you are today?

• 54:11Lewis Howes?

  I mean, well, there's two things that came to my mind quickly. This may sound weird, but I want to thank, I want to thank, this is not a egotistical thing, but I want to thank myself for having the courage to overcome all of the fear. It's interesting, in my dedication to my book, and I didn't know if this would come across well or not, but I'll just read it to you. And I think when, when, when people see it, they'll understand. I dedicate this book to my younger self for having the courage to carry me through pain, my current self for facing my shame and learning how to heal, and my future self because the journey to greatness has only just begun.

• 54:50Dean Graziosi?

  I love that.

• 54:50Lewis Howes?

  So.

• 54:52Dean Graziosi?

  That's not from ego, that's from doing the work.

• 54:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and really like facing shame and insecurity because I would not have peace internally had my younger self not been willing to have the courage to dive in and be vulnerable and open up and like go to coaching and therapy and all these things and really heal. Because that has given my future self, my higher self, that I wanted to come here quicker. Uh, and it took me a long time to get here, but it's, I'm grateful for that. I also want to thank all my previous relationships, all the women that, you know, that taught me so much. And even though a lot of them tried to hurt me after we broke up, that gave me spiritual lessons when they would try to say bad things or talk behind my back or

• 55:40Lewis Howes?

  say things publicly or whatever to try to, to, you know, shame me or something. It, it taught me incredible lessons about detaching myself and spiritually purging things. And so I'm grateful for all of them, even though, probably none of them are grateful for me. I'm grateful for all of them.

• 56:01Dean Graziosi?

  Well, it took, it took whatever, whatever that journey was, your fault, their fault, mutual fault. It took all of that and the awareness. So you could be in the amazing relationship you're in today.

• 56:11Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 56:12Dean Graziosi?

  Right?

• 56:12Lewis Howes?

  And I'm grateful for it all.

• 56:13Dean Graziosi?

  I get to see it behind the curtain and it's, it's amazing. Lewis, thank you so much. This is amazing.

• 56:18Lewis Howes?

  Thanks, brother.

• 56:18Dean Graziosi?

  Go out and get Greatest Mindset. Go grab that book. Go to, um, lewishouse.com forward slash GM book or just go to Amazon and grab it. Once again. Safe travels. I know you're going on a trip tomorrow or today.

• 56:32Lewis Howes?

  Today.

• 56:33Dean Graziosi?

  Enjoy the trip. I appreciate this time. I appreciate you, brother. Keep up the good work. And those of you watching at home, keep this momentum alive. Do three things. Go listen or download three episodes. Keep going. Listen to the next one. And we do this for you. So if you, if there was anything that Lewis and I shared today that you loved, share it with a friend.

• 56:51Lewis Howes?

  I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple Podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to

• 57:33Lewis Howes?

  sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com/newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.