#2377 - Carrot Top

Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson is a trailblazing comedian, television personality, and actor celebrating 16 years of residency at the Las Vegas Luxor Hotel and Casino. www.carrottop.com www.youtube.com/@CarrotTopLive Don’t miss out on all the action - Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up at https://dkng.co/rogan or with my promo code ROGAN. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Fees may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 9/29/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  The Joe Rogan Experience. Training by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

• 0:13Joe Rogan?

  Good to see you, my man.

• 0:14Speaker 02

  Good to see you as well. Thanks for having me back.

• 0:16Joe Rogan?

  What's happening?

• 0:16Speaker 02

  Very, very good.

• 0:17Joe Rogan?

  It was very funny. You brought a box of your stuff and one of them immediately started going off like it's an alarm. What is that?

• 0:23Speaker 02

  And that's hell, isn't it?

• 0:24Joe Rogan?

  Was it a FedEx box?

• 0:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's that commercial that runs for late night Viagra Cialis and it says, "Hey, we'll send you your Cialis and Viagra in unmarked white envelopes." And I would say, "Fuck that. I want just the opposite. I want my neighbors to know I'm getting laid. I want my neighbors to know I have a dick, a hard dick." So it's got sirens and whistles, "My dick's hard. My dick is..."

• 0:45Joe Rogan?

  Ugh.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  And that's engineering. That took a lot of engineering.

• 0:50Joe Rogan?

  We were just talking about you the other night at the comedy club. We were like, "He owns props. Like, you can't do props now." When I was a kid, when I first started doing stand-up, and I'm sure you too, there were prop comics.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:01Joe Rogan?

  There was a bunch of guys.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, the WID.

• 1:03Joe Rogan?

  The WID. Yeah, there was quite a few guys that were really good. They were prop com- but you became so successful as a prop comic, you kinda stole the market.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:12Joe Rogan?

  There's no young comics coming up.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Well, there's no- because nobody wants to be a Carrot Tom, I think.

• 1:17Joe Rogan?

  I don't think that's it.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  I think that's what it is. Like, you know, the shit I still get, so I think people look and I...

• 1:22Joe Rogan?

  Well, you got shit for a long time. I don't think you get shit anymore.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  No, not as much, no. But you still get the aftermath of it. Like, just on the plane today, somebody's like, "I don't care whatever..." "No, what are you doing?" I was, "I'm doing Rogan." They said, "Oh, man, I don't care what everybody else says. You're funny." I'm like, "Who's everybody else?"

• 1:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, what the fuck kind of compliment is that?

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, they get that. I get that a lot.

• 1:37Joe Rogan?

  The backhanded shitty compliments.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  You know, "Hey, I personally think you're funny," that kinda stuff.

• 1:42Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm one of the rare.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45Joe Rogan?

  I'm one of the rare ones who thinks you're good.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I can't- you know, I had to beg my mom to come. She did not wanna come. Okay.

• 1:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's such a weird thing.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  We get a lot of that, right?

• 1:54Joe Rogan?

  Well, we talked about that the last time. Like, I think you took way too much shit from comedians and I never understood it. The weird thing that comedians do where they hate on other comedians, like, "Good Lord, we live in a world that is filled with war and famine and disease and pollution and garbage and chaos and corruption."

• 2:17Joe Rogan?

  And you want to concentrate on a prop comic? Is that, is that really?

• 2:21Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 2:21Joe Rogan?

  What the problem is in this world?

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Right, isn't that true?

• 2:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and it's almost always comics that are doing better than you.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Yes, I think we tried breaking it down last time as to why, and I think it was only because I think, one, I did get successful, and it wasn't quick, quick, but it was quicker than maybe most, you know, because I, I hit the scene right at the right time. I had the, the act that was, you know.

• 2:42Joe Rogan?

  It was a good act.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  It was perfect for television, right? Because it's visuals.

• 2:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  And it's, I got a little success, and I think people were like, you know, they would ask Jay, you know, why, why, why do you have Carrot Top on like every month? And Jay was like, you know, he brings the guns.

• 2:58Joe Rogan?

  He did a good job.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  He did a good job. But, but I do remember the comedy, the, the Evening at the Improv, and I, you know, I, I, I played mostly that and the other one, Laugh, the Cheesecake Factory where it was. And then the, the Comedy Store was more, admits he loved me, but I never really played there a lot, so. Bud loved me. One night, he, I came in, I said, you know, I had my little back.

• 3:26Joe Rogan?

  Bud Friedman from the Improv?

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Improv, sorry.

• 3:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  And I had my box of stuff, and he always loved me, you know, he says, oh, man, you know, there's no spots tonight. And I said, um, well, I drug it all the way, you know, fuck, and he's like, um, let, let me, let me, I'll see if I can get you in somewhere. So, The Tonight Show, Bookers were there that night. They were, the Jim McCauley and these people were there to, to pick, watch comics and pick them for The Tonight Show. So he's like, hey, you know what? I'm gonna slide you in. Um, they're gonna love you. So I go up, and I had the best set ever I've ever had. It was just a magical night, and I, I don't know if I was just, I knew they were there. Every comic was coming around going, Jesus, dude, fuck, I mean, leveled it, right? And Jim McCauley walks up, and he says, that was amazing. And I said, oh, thanks.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  Um, I say, you booked The Tonight Show. You think that maybe I could get on? And he said, not a chance in hell. And I was like, I had just killed. I go, why? He says, you're not, you're, Johnny would never book you. And I said, why? I said, you, but you, you booked the show, right? He goes, he would never, he would never allow it. I said, why?

• 4:33Joe Rogan?

  Johnny Carson.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. I said, why? He says, he hates variety.

• 4:38Joe Rogan?

  What a weird thing to hate.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  And I stopped in the middle of my, and I'm like, the whole fucking Tonight Show's variety.

• 4:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Carnac, the throwing the hatchets, every fucking thing they do.

• 4:46Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Ed McMahon's a fucking prop, right? The whole thing is variety.

• 4:49Joe Rogan?

  They bring on animals.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  Animals. You think I'm kidding, right? So I'm like, well, okay. And then finally, I mean, I'm talking like, two weeks after Johnny left, I was on with Jay. And it was just like, literally. But the weird part about it was that still was the same studio, you know? They had the, the Blue, you know, the gold stars. So you're standing right where Johnny was and the same, like Ed Decortiva was still in the booth and everyone was still like, there.

• 5:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  So you felt like it was the Tonight Show, but how weird is that? Like, no, you know, don't like variety. And then I would get, you know, singled out because I would do Leno so many times, I'd ask if I could do Letterman. They said, no, you're, you're Team Leno. I'm like, I'm not, it's like, it's like that Twilight movie, I'm not Team fucking whatever. There's two teams.

• 5:36Joe Rogan?

  Thank God that doesn't exist in podcasts. That disgusting fucking thing where if you were on one person's side, you're the enemy.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:43Joe Rogan?

  Ugh. Team Leno.

• 5:47Joe Rogan?

  How stupid is that?

• 5:49Speaker 02

  That's what I was, I guess.

• 5:50Joe Rogan?

  Well, it was such famine thinking back then because, you know, there was only a certain amount of, uh, shows.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Now you know it's not a wig stays on there.

• 5:57Joe Rogan?

  Well, I never thought it was a wig.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  No, people have, you know, that thing on straight?

• 6:00Joe Rogan?

  Isn't it weird that like women can wear wigs, no problem at all? A man wears a wig, it's pretty pathetic.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  You're a loser, absolutely.

• 6:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a man with a hairpiece.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  Nice, nice hairpiece.

• 6:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Or implants, you know, when I would, I lived in LA, this is true. I lived in LA, I'd go to Gold's Gym and my hair was even more out of control. I had big ass hair.

• 6:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you had a giant fro at one point in time.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  I had big fucking arms and, and these ladies were behind me and they're like, oh my God, look at that, that woman's arms, right? Seriously, I had makeup and into the whole nine yards and they were just amazing. They came over, they said, how do you get your arms that big? And I turned around, I said, I don't know, you know, arm work. And she's like, oh, and I could see their face turn, like, oh, it's a dude. But I was kind of, you know, pretty then, you know, it's like, you know, the younger, a lot of hair, makeup, so. And then that same gym one day, I'm, I'm, I'm working out and this guy says, um, nice arms. And I said, thanks. He's like, uh... Uh, who, who, who did the work, right? And I thought he's making, I said, I didn't, I put in the fucking work, you know, like who works out for me? He said, no, no, no, I mean, uh, implants, right?

• 7:03Speaker 02

  I'm like, only in LA would you have someone in the gym walk up and say, oh yeah, implants? Yeah, I have implants. You, you fucking go to the gym and you do, and you do curls.

• 7:11Joe Rogan?

  At the gym lifting out, assuming that someone has implants is pretty wild.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  But I don't have that big of a, I mean, this guy thought, you know, I-

• 7:18Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's how grows LA is.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it is.

• 7:21Joe Rogan?

  That's like the default assumption, is that everything's fake.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Yep, no matter what.

• 7:25Joe Rogan?

  Where'd you get your butt? Who, who, who did your butt?

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Who did your butt?

• 7:29Joe Rogan?

  Where'd you get your nose done? Yeah, it's always something.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  No, it's true.

• 7:33Joe Rogan?

  No one wants to believe-

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Who got your plugs?

• 7:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, no one wants to believe that you're natural.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  Another thing I got too, weird, I just had a guy, uh, today at the airport, uh, he said, uh, hey, you still working out? And I'm like, you're supposed to say, I see you're still working out, right? You don't ask him if you're still working out, that means you don't look like you work out.

• 7:50Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think he's probably just trying to start a conversation with you.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, and, no, I did, I said, you mean, you mean, I see you're still, and he goes, yeah, what did I say? I said, you said, do you still work out?

• 8:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and what's the answer to that? Did you just say yes?

• 8:03Speaker 02

  I said, no, no, I'm, I have-

• 8:05Joe Rogan?

  You done?

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, I said, I'm not feeling well, yeah.

• 8:09Joe Rogan?

  I'm dying.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  I'm dying, yeah. Oh, you didn't hear? Like, whoa.

• 8:13Joe Rogan?

  I, it's radiation poisoning.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:16Joe Rogan?

  Something happened, one of my toys, one of my box props.

• 8:18Speaker 02

  They always say you lift light, I hate that too, I'm in the gym and like, you always lift light.

• 8:22Joe Rogan?

  Well, is that in?

• 8:23Speaker 02

  I don't, I guess it means I don't, I don't lift, I don't, I do weights, I don't do heavy weights. I don't have spotters, I just do cables and do some dumbbells, but people always do that, you always work light. I'm like, fuck, I'm heavy for me.

• 8:37Joe Rogan?

  People are silly. There's a lot of people that just don't know what to say. You know, they meet someone famously, they, they don't know what to say, they just get weird.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  They do.

• 8:45Joe Rogan?

  And then they, afterwards, they probably leave and go, why the fuck did I say that? Jesus Christ, I feel so stupid. I've done that before, meet famous people, act like an idiot, and they're like, wow. Shit. Sorry, trying to give people a little grace.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  I'm so sure, so true of that. If I see celebrity, I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna, I'm not, I'm gonna fuck that up, really, right?

• 9:06Joe Rogan?

  Do you get a lot of people coming to your shows that are famous?

• 9:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have, um, we had, we had a guy last night, we had a guy here, Chris Jericho was at the show last night, and he was, he said, "Say hi to you."

• 9:16Joe Rogan?

  The wrestler? Oh, cool.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Real nice guy.

• 9:19Joe Rogan?

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• 10:22Joe Rogan?

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• 11:03Joe Rogan?

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• 11:45Joe Rogan?

  The Apple Sports App gives you all the important game details for your favorite sports teams, fast and simple. Download Apple Sports for free on the App Store or find it on your new iPhone. You've been at the Luxor for how long now?

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Nineteen, coming up on 20.

• 12:05Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, November.

• 12:07Joe Rogan?

  You probably have the longest residency of anybody in Vegas. Other than like Penn and Teller, but they're magicians.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  They don't count because one only talks.

• 12:14Joe Rogan?

  Ah.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  So.

• 12:17Joe Rogan?

  They've been there forever.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  They've been there forever, yeah.

• 12:20Joe Rogan?

  I remember I saw them there in 94. 94? 98. 98. I saw them there in 98.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're still.

• 12:27Joe Rogan?

  At the Rio, back when the Rio was nice.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 12:29Joe Rogan?

  Now it's like you gotta wear a bulletproof vest to watch it.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  They should just light it up, shit hole.

• 12:33Joe Rogan?

  It's a weird place. It's weird how some of those places, they just fall off. They just, they just get tired and then no one wants to go there anymore. But then if they, they last long enough, then they become like Circus Circus where they're fun.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 12:47Joe Rogan?

  It's fun to go there.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  No, it is. And the Luxor, they just did a whole big revamp on it and nice. It's, it's a beautiful hotel. Every time I walk in, it's just, it's spectacular to see the, how they made that.

• 12:57Joe Rogan?

  Well, I'm obsessed by Egypt. So for me, it's like, I wish I, the Luxor was the best hotel. I'd stay there every time. Because it's, you know, it's a fucking giant pyramid. We actually did a Fear Factor stunt.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  It is the best hotel.

• 13:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh yeah, for you. We did a Fear Factor stunt where people had to slide down the Luxor once.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Oh wow.

• 13:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they had to like grab flags on the way down, they had to slide down.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  All right, see I'm not doing that.

• 13:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was pretty crazy, pretty ridiculous, back in the day.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  That is crazy.

• 13:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, twenty fucking years, man, that's a long ass time to be doing a residency. So before that, you were doing colleges and you were touring and, you know, do you miss any of that? You do a little touring every now.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  We do a little touring now and then, but it's only when I get the off time. So if I get a week off, like I'm here, I could be home in my boat, but I'm here.

• 13:47Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  I do road shows, but you know, you can't all, you gotta take a break here and there, because you can't kill yourself. But I like the, you know, I like the touring, I like the bus, you feel like a rock star, you know? You pull up on a bus and you got the big venue and there's a sound check and there's people and we have the Luxor, but not like, you know, people hanging out by the bus, you know? I get people like, "Hey, you fucked my mom," I'm like, "Great."

• 14:14Joe Rogan?

  Remember?

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Now you're getting old.

• 14:15Joe Rogan?

  Eighty-four.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Remember that, that used to be, "Maybe fuck me," now, "Hey, you fucked my mom," pretty soon it'll be, "You blew my grandpa." You know, it'll be something, it'll be something.

• 14:22Joe Rogan?

  When, uh...

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Wait, his grandpa blew me, your grandpa blew me, let's get this straight.

• 14:27Joe Rogan?

  Your grandpa's a liar, first of all.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  First of all, your grandpa's a liar.

• 14:30Joe Rogan?

  He's dead, I'm sorry.

• 14:34Joe Rogan?

  On his deathbed, you know, carrot top blooming one.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Thank God he's dead, you can't tell anybody.

• 14:41Joe Rogan?

  The one thing that's good about not touring though, like, because I mostly just work my club now, is I never feel tired. I, like, the traveling tiredness is horrible. You realize how bad it is to be flying all the time.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  That is one great advantage of having the show every night at the Luxor, because I leave my house.

• 14:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, sleep in your own bed.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, I'm home, home by ten, thirty, eleven, latest.

• 15:04Joe Rogan?

  That is a huge plus, that's a huge plus.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Yep, because the road is, it can tear you up, but then, like I said, there's the ups and there's pluses and minuses of it. It's fun, you're in a rock, you're a rock band, you know?

• 15:15Joe Rogan?

  There's pluses and minuses, but for me, um... I mean, this is the first time in my life where I haven't toured.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:22Joe Rogan?

  The last few years, last three, four years.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Man, it's nice.

• 15:25Joe Rogan?

  Well, I guess four, three years ago I was touring still, like two years, the last two years. I've just, since the club opened, I just stopped and it's been amazing. I love it.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 15:35Joe Rogan?

  You know, all my friends are doing arenas. They send me pictures. I'm like, have fun. I don't wanna do it. I fucking wanna get out there. I probably will, uh, once I make a new hour, because right now I'm at like forty something minutes. Once I get a, a full new hour, I'll probably do some, some tour dates just for the fuck of it, but.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:54Joe Rogan?

  But being at home has giant advantages. It's, uh, you don't realize like how much you're destroying your body until you stop doing it, you know?

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Oh, it's, yeah. Yeah, the having the, the, the show is nice for that reason, too. I mean, you can, you have a normal day, you know? I had a dog for a bit. You can take a dog and then go to work and come home and you're, you know, watching Sports Center at ten thirty and bed by eleven.

• 16:18Joe Rogan?

  Do you feel weird living in Vegas? Vegas is an odd place. It's like you have to find.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Well, I live in, in the, you know, in the Summerlin area where it's like a normal, yeah, so it's a normal suburb.

• 16:29Joe Rogan?

  But then you go to work inside the devil's balls.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Then I go inside the devil's balls. That's a good way to put it. And, uh, yeah.

• 16:35Joe Rogan?

  Cause it's hot like the devil's balls.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  I leave that down the shaft back to, back to, back to Summerlin.

• 16:40Joe Rogan?

  It spits right out the tip.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had the tip into Summerlin. Whew, we're home. That was hell.

• 16:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  I mean, I find it funny. There's a college there and a big college, you know, UNLV. I find that funny because you imagine asking your parents like, hey, I wanna go to college. And they're like, oh, right on. Where are you gonna go? Michigan, Iowa? You're like, um, I'm thinking about Vegas.

• 16:58Joe Rogan?

  It's good to college though.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Well, you're fucking not going to Vegas for college.

• 17:00Joe Rogan?

  My buddy Sam Tripoli went there.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 17:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  I mean, it's a good college. I'm just saying, you know, for the joke, for the joke purposes of.

• 17:07Joe Rogan?

  Well, it seems like Vegas has become more of a community now, right? They have the Raiders now. Aren't they getting a major league?

• 17:12Speaker 02

  The Golden Knights.

• 17:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  And the, uh, yeah, the, the.

• 17:14Joe Rogan?

  What's the Golden Knights? What are they?

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Uh, the hockey.

• 17:17Joe Rogan?

  Hockey, right. That's right. They got a hockey team now. Always have fights. Fights almost every weekend.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, right. Fights are big, big, big, big time.

• 17:23Joe Rogan?

  Some, some kind of boxing or UFC event or something.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  And there's talking of, they're talking of building the baseball stadium, I think, for, um, the A's?

• 17:31Joe Rogan?

  That's nice. What's gonna be the Vegas A's? That's gonna be weird.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  I, I guess, yeah, I don't know.

• 17:36Joe Rogan?

  Is it the Vegas Raiders? Is that what they call themselves?

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, Las Vegas Raiders.

• 17:39Joe Rogan?

  That's weird.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. Everyone, even the commentators, like, "And Oakland's..." And you can't say Oakland Raiders, you can't, you know. It takes a long time.

• 17:47Joe Rogan?

  Wasn't it the LA Raiders?

• 17:48Speaker 02

  People still say Washington Redskins, every, you know.

• 17:50Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Just every Chris Collinsworth last week, "You know, the Red Sk-"

• 17:55Joe Rogan?

  What do they call themselves now, the Redskins?

• 17:57Speaker 02

  The Commanders.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  And you're talking, this is pretty good. I'm like a sports guy, I know this stuff, you know.

• 18:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Commanders.

• 18:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Redskins is a weird one though.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Washington Commanders.

• 18:10Joe Rogan?

  That one's problematic.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:12Joe Rogan?

  You know.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  Well, there's a lot of them, I guess, though. Maybe it was something, there's some article someone did, it was really great, it broke down everything that could be. Like, the Braves, the thing, the Chiefs, they went through all these different things. We'd have to get rid of everything.

• 18:24Joe Rogan?

  How about Notre Dame?

• 18:25Speaker 02

  The only thing left was like the Dolphins, because they were just...

• 18:27Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  It's a little, but you can't, it's a dolphin, you can't, you can't hurt a dolphin.

• 18:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but then there's Dolphins in captivity.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:34Joe Rogan?

  It's kind of gross that you're capitalizing on Dolphins in captivity.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:38Joe Rogan?

  There was a, there was a lot of people that were upset about the Notre Dame using the Fighting Irish, using that little leprechaun guy.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Right, yeah, right, right. Yeah. I think they're gonna have a problem with everything. I mean, you know, jeez Louise.

• 18:49Joe Rogan?

  Yep, yep.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  That's all it is.

• 18:51Joe Rogan?

  You ever get protested?

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Uh, no.

• 18:54Joe Rogan?

  No?

• 18:55Speaker 02

  No, she's shocked. No, I, I haven't, but I, I thought, um, I had a nightmare one, not that I did, like, we just, I, you know, I'm, I'm, it'd just be people outside the locks are just mad about something.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  No, but I've thought about that, because I know people have been. Have you been, have you been?

• 19:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Oh, what, see, that's so strange.

• 19:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, minor, just a bunch of people, like, mad about something.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  "We hate bald guys!", you know.

• 19:20Joe Rogan?

  It's always something, you know, it's whatever it is. People just get upset. It's always a small group of people, because it's actually organized by, by actual humans versus like, uh, these crowdfunded ones.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 19:31Joe Rogan?

  Where like, they show up on tour buses and they all have, like, professionally made signs. They hand them to them, they're all getting paid to protest.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Right, yeah, yes.

• 19:38Joe Rogan?

  Those, that's a weird thing that they're doing today. That didn't exist when I was a kid, like paid protesters.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 19:45Joe Rogan?

  I was watching a documentary on it on YouTube the other day that was, they followed this woman who is a professional paid protester. And she goes from free Palestine to this, to that, to, she's been doing it for years. She goes from one protest to the next.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  That's her job.

• 20:02Joe Rogan?

  That's her job, yeah. And she makes, you know, X amount, a hundred dollars a day.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 20:07Joe Rogan?

  And they fly around.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  Fuck, stays at the Four Seasons, maybe I'll start doing this.

• 20:11Joe Rogan?

  I think that kinda should be illegal.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, it kind of.

• 20:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, because it's kind of a lie. It's kind of fraud.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  It's beyond fraud.

• 20:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  And whoever's funding it is, right?

• 20:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Who's paying them?

• 20:23Joe Rogan?

  It's usually NGOs, non-government organizations that get taxpayer money, unfortunately. But it's a weird thing where you're pretending that these people are outraged when they really just want a sandwich.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Right, right, right. You see them all the time on the news, yeah. And people don't know they're real, right? They don't know they're not real.

• 20:39Joe Rogan?

  No, but they get exposed.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  Until someone points it out like you just did, and then they get exposed, and then people are like, no. You're just listening to the hype of the, what do you call the, you know, the, what do you call it? When they say something, you know?

• 20:51Joe Rogan?

  Propaganda?

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Propaganda, or the other one where they're like, oh, it's just, you know, the world's flat and that kind of, the conspiracy theories.

• 20:59Joe Rogan?

  Conspiracy theories.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  So I love those, because I, you know, with my dad working at NASA, I would always answer, ask people like, what, like, what do you think?

• 21:08Joe Rogan?

  What'd your dad do at NASA?

• 21:09Speaker 02

  He was an engineer. He, he trained the astronauts in the, in the simulators.

• 21:15Joe Rogan?

  Was he involved in faking the moon landing?

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Nice, yes, yes.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  I wish my dad was alive, he'd punch you right now.

• 21:23Joe Rogan?

  Would he?

• 21:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:24Joe Rogan?

  I'm hard to punch.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Well, huh?

• 21:25Joe Rogan?

  I slip, I move.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, because we had a, we had a, we just had a discussion backstage, oh, god dang, a couple of days ago. I don't know what, something had, something happened, a flag or something, something about a flag.

• 21:38Joe Rogan?

  A flag waving on the moon?

• 21:39Speaker 02

  No, it was something about a flag, like burning flag, something. And I said, my friend said, that's an interesting question, I wonder if the, if the flag is still on the moon? And I said, That's a great question. Like, it's one of those, you gotta break it down, right?

• 21:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  So I'd say, well, my dad would know, and I guess I'm, and I'm not the brightest guy, but I would, I would do like an engineer would break it down. Well, there's not, you know, it's, there's no wind on the, I mean, there might be cosmic or something wind up there, but it's not, right? So, and there's nothing that's gonna deteriorate the flag, so it's probably still there.

• 22:10Joe Rogan?

  If, unless it got hit by micrometeorites.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Well, something, I mean, other than that, it would be, right.

• 22:14Joe Rogan?

  Cause there's no atmosphere on the moon, so, or a very, very thin atmosphere, so it gets pelted all the time.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  Right, right. That's what I mean. The only thing that would probably, right, but it's, unless how deep the fucker's put it. And, but my dad trained him to drive that little lunar rover.

• 22:28Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  And so I, the joke I was gonna put in the show, I said, you know, NASA can now, uh, can, they're good, they can zoom in. And look at, so here's the NASA zoom in on the, they have it on the moon.

• 22:38Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  You see the flag. See, I told you, the fucking moon's still there. And then we pan over, and there's the land rover, uh, but it's, it's up on blocks, and they've, they've looted it and taken all the wheels off of it. Said, see, the fucking thing?

• 22:51Speaker 02

  They've already stole it. They've already, tearing.

• 22:54Joe Rogan?

  They did take photos. I think it was India. Was it India or China? One of the satellites that they had hovering the moon took appropriately blurry, ambiguous photos of what they claim was the landing site. Like where the, the lunar module was, and where the buggy is.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  Well, that was, that would be the punchline, then you go, of course it's still there in some soundstage in LA, you know?

• 23:20Joe Rogan?

  I think the soundstage is probably in Vegas. I think it was out in the desert.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  It might be near Summerlin, it might be near my house.

• 23:26Joe Rogan?

  Could be. I think it's out where they film, where they do like, uh, UFO back, back engineering.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe.

• 23:33Joe Rogan?

  That's another weird thing. You're, you're right, where, where the Luxor is, is right across the street from where those guys take off to go to work at Area 51.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  My brother flew those.

• 23:43Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:45Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Here's the crazy thing, and I probably, you know, my brother, uh, was Air Force, and so he retired Air Force. F-16 fighter jet pilot, and now he, he, for, for about three years, he flew those red-stripe planes. And the weird thing is, I'm in the Luxor. When I first got the gig and I was in the, in my room was at the top of the, not with the, not on the light. That'd be a horrible room to be in. People like, is your room with the light on it? Yeah, my room was with the light on it.

• 24:12Joe Rogan?

  For people that don't know, there's a giant spotlight that they actually had to tone down.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:17Joe Rogan?

  Because it was interfering with flights.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  It was indeed. There's three things you can see from outer space, by the way. The Great Wall of China, the Luxor Light, and my cock. Um, thank you.

• 24:28Joe Rogan?

  I'm here all week. Try the wings.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  I'm actually here all, all week, all week. Um, so, what was I, oh, oh, so I'm looking out the window, right? Every morning I would look out and they, I'd see the planes and I didn't know they were, I thought they were the, some private guy, you know, is a, is a big mill billionaire that has all these jets out there. They were blue. So I thought, oh, this is another billionaire red jet. And so then, there's four channels on my TV. It was like when I was a kid, right? And the Luxor was just the Luxor channel and then the, you know, so the Luxor channel would have on a loop every day, this goddamn thing about the red striped planes. And this is real, right? So I'm watching it and like, no one in the world knows where these red striped planes are. They fly out of a, a, a secret location. I swear to God, in the west, and I'm like, I'm looking out my window like, they're fucking right there.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  And it's serious, like, no one knows for years. People have tried to discover where the red planes fly in and out of. And I'm like, this is a joke. So I called my brother and I said, and he fly, I said, you, this thing says that you're, you're like top secret. You don't fly anywhere. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. You know, my brother can't tell me. He wouldn't tell me. I just thought that was so crazy. I'm like, this whole show saying there's no red planes and they, and there's a mystery to if you could find them. And I'm like,

• 25:42Joe Rogan?

  They're right. Everybody knows where they are.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Zoom in and take a picture of it.

• 25:45Joe Rogan?

  That's ridiculous. Everybody literally knows where they are.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:47Joe Rogan?

  There, you could see them from Mandalay Bay.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Unless they are fake ones. They're the ones that deploy, see, they, they, the decoy.

• 25:54Joe Rogan?

  The decoy.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, just like the 747, then they have the other 747.

• 25:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, when Bob Lazar was working on back engineering UFOs allegedly, that's where he used to fly out of. They'd pick them up there and he'd fly over to Area S4. Quick, quick little flight out into the middle of Groom Lake.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Quick layover and come back.

• 26:15Joe Rogan?

  Get out and they'd say, figure this thing out.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Jeez.

• 26:18Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Allegedly, yeah.

• 26:20Joe Rogan?

  Supposedly it looks like that. That one right there.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Right. Well, I thought that was a symbol of AC/DC's album. Doesn't it?

• 26:26Joe Rogan?

  It looks a little bit like that. No, it's this, that's the sport model. That's what Bob supposedly was working on. In Area 51. Yeah. You know, who knows? It's fun.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love all that space stuff, yeah.

• 26:40Joe Rogan?

  But when you're looking at those actual planes. I'd like to talk to one of those guys. They tell you though, then they're fucked.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, like my brother's like, what are you talking about? He would not, no, he said, I, you know, work at In-N-Out. No, you don't. You fly those planes. Tell me more.

• 26:58Joe Rogan?

  He wouldn't tell you nothing?

• 26:59Speaker 02

  No.

• 26:59Joe Rogan?

  Even if they put the phones down and go for a walk?

• 27:01Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 27:02Joe Rogan?

  Nothing? Your own brother?

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 27:04Joe Rogan?

  If you were my brother, I'd tell you everything.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Would you?

• 27:05Joe Rogan?

  Fuck yeah.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  I would too. I don't think, I can't keep a secret.

• 27:08Joe Rogan?

  That's probably why I never work there.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  That's why you're not, exactly why they wouldn't hire you.

• 27:12Joe Rogan?

  People always ask me, like, does anybody ever tell you, like, secret, top secret information? I'm like, no, I have a big fucking mouth.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Exactly, right.

• 27:19Joe Rogan?

  They told me that UFOs are real, I'd be, I'd be like, look, I'm sorry, maybe they're gonna put me in jail, but I have to tell you people.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  I always have that question too, honestly, about, about people that have had some security clearances and that. And then they revoke them and they get rid of them.

• 27:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  My biggest, I have the, I know these fucking heads.

• 27:36Joe Rogan?

  Those are not working.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, these aren't working for me.

• 27:37Joe Rogan?

  Something about your hair and those things.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  My physique.

• 27:40Joe Rogan?

  Let's just, let's just go headsetless.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 27:44Joe Rogan?

  Feel better?

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 27:45Joe Rogan?

  It was a struggle.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  Can I take my pants off too?

• 27:47Joe Rogan?

  You can take your pants off. This is a pants-free zone.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  No headphone, no pant-wearing zone.

• 27:51Joe Rogan?

  You probably have extra pants in there anyway.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  I, I might. I do probably have something in there. I knew I used to have.

• 27:58Joe Rogan?

  Do you even know what's in there?

• 27:59Speaker 02

  No, not this one, I don't know.

• 28:01Joe Rogan?

  Do you structure your show or do you just like reach in and start grabbing stuff?

• 28:03Speaker 02

  The show, the show is structured, um, but when I come and do like little things, there's not at all, there's nothing, zero.

• 28:09Joe Rogan?

  Do you ever do guest sets, like at a comedy club? Where you just bring the?

• 28:12Speaker 02

  I used to do, I used to make a thing like that.

• 28:14Joe Rogan?

  Do you do it these days though?

• 28:15Speaker 02

  No. I mean, to kind of do like, this is what I'm doing today with Tony. I bring a little, a little thing, a little, what do you call that?

• 28:20Joe Rogan?

  Last time you did it, it was very fun. I saw some clips.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, he said, he said to me, I was at home, I said, I really don't want to do props, you know, I want to talk, I want to do, I want to be, you know, not caratop. He says, but that's what I want, I want you to be. That, and he was right, because he was really, he was right.

• 28:36Joe Rogan?

  Both.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  A lot of his, it was both, right.

• 28:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  It was fun to talk, be funny without doing props, and then go in and show some of the stuff. And he, he was beside himself.

• 28:44Joe Rogan?

  Are you here tomorrow night?

• 28:45Speaker 02

  I'm here, uh, no.

• 28:47Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  I'm here tonight and...

• 28:49Joe Rogan?

  I have a show there tomorrow night.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Ah, shit, I would've...

• 28:51Joe Rogan?

  Be fun if you pulled the box up onstage.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Oh, man, I would've done that in a heartbeat.

• 28:55Joe Rogan?

  Another time, you'll be back.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:58Joe Rogan?

  Next time, let's plan on that.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, that would be awesome.

• 29:00Joe Rogan?

  It'd be fun, people would get a kick out of it.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Absolutely, yeah. I just had Ron White come up on, on stage, um, just last Friday.

• 29:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he was in Vegas?

• 29:07Speaker 02

  He was in Vegas, uh, and he came out, and, you know, Ron's just a hoot. He says, uh, he, he comes in, and I said, you know, what, I said, well, I, I thought, you know, what do you want me to do? And I said, you just, just do what, you know, don't, you don't have to stress that. Don't come out and do 20 minutes. Just, I think, just poke your head out. I, I have a, I had a, I have a bit in my act where I talk about my dad working at NASA and training astronauts, and it's just like Neil Armstrong and John Glenn, and all these pictures come up, and Katy Perry, and everybody goes, ah. And I said, if my dad was alive, you could hear him right now, and he goes, what the fuck? And I got Ron White to do the voice for it, right? So the crowd, they already know it, you just hear his voice, what the fuck? And everybody's like, Ron White? So I said, that sounds like Ron White.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  And I said, fucking, it sounds a lot like Ron White. And he, he walks out, and he goes, well, no shit, Sherlock. And the crowd loses it, right? And he's so, he's, I was gonna come out here and say something, but you're fucking, I was having a good set, fucking blowing the roof all over the fucking place. And so he, he says, uh, do you still want it? I said, no, dude, I, joke? All right, I'll do it. And he did some joke, and it was great, because he, he's, he was, I'm watching the whole show, he's like one of my men, you know, heroes in life. He's sitting there watching the show, and then he's gone for like, I don't know, his bit's coming up, I don't know where he is. And you could smell pot, the whole, the whole theater, so I smiled, I'm like, it's not a joke. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I hope it's, I mean, Ron, you can't like, smoke weed in your...

• 30:36Speaker 02

  So he, I go off, I have to get, he comes out and he says, he just, it comes. So I said, alright, another hand for Ron White. And I said, some kind of, I said, if you smell weed, it's probably. He's back, he goes back in my dressing, now there's another show back, that's back down there, all these stripper girls. And he's, they're all like, hey, I didn't know you partied. And I'm like, what? Like, I didn't know you partied, I've been there 19 years. I'm like, I don't party. They're like, no, that's, that's my friend Ron. He's smoking weed. They're like, holy shit, she's got good shit. I mean, it was, it would just bellow through the whole lobby, out into the lobby.

• 31:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he can go hard.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Oh, he goes, he, he.

• 31:09Joe Rogan?

  I smoked weed with him and then done a set, and be like, oh my god, what am I talking about?

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, he was so blundering. And then he left his weed and his wallet in my dressing room.

• 31:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no. Did he steal his wallet?

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, fuck, I still have his wallet. And his weed.

• 31:22Joe Rogan?

  He's here. He lives here.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  He does, I know, he said he might surprise me later.

• 31:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, nice.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  And you've done, I don't know if I didn't.

• 31:31Joe Rogan?

  I do shows with him every week. Every week, yeah.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Sounds great.

• 31:35Joe Rogan?

  He's the best. He's the best. He's one of the main reasons why I moved here.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Wow, that's crazy.

• 31:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, when, um, he moved here in 2017 or 18, I think 18. And I was like, where are you, man? I miss you. He's like, I moved back to Austin. I fucking love it. It's in the middle of the country. I can fly here from everywhere. It's like three hours, no matter where you go. Three hours in New York, three hours in LA. Perfectly centrally located. People are nice. Food's great. I was like, alright.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  He's right.

• 32:05Joe Rogan?

  He got me thinking about Austin. And then when the pandemic hit, I was like, well, if I move to Austin, at the very least, Ron's gonna be there. I'm like, there's good comedy club there, but the comedy club had already closed. Um, I'm like, but at least Ron's there, you know? I'll have a friend. I just had to get out of LA. And he was just raving about how good, come on down, man, Austin's fucking awesome.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  Food's good, fucking, yeah, good, hell, weed.

• 32:27Joe Rogan?

  He's also the one who talked me into opening up a club.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Awesome.

• 32:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was, it was totally Ron. He hadn't done, it's a really funny story. He hadn't done stand up in like eight months. He goes, I'm fucking retired, because it was the pandemic and all the chaos. I'm fucking retired, I'm done, I got plenty of money, I'm just gonna enjoy life and this and that. I'm like, okay, come on, man, really? I'm like, you're so funny, I just can't believe that. And so then, Tony put on a show at the Vulcan. Tony had done like one or two shows indoors, like, which was crazy, like, oh my god, we're doing shows indoors? In 2020, this is madness.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:02Joe Rogan?

  And in LA, people were freaking out, you're killing grandma!

• 33:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 33:06Joe Rogan?

  And so, Ron was like, oh, fuck it, I don't even know if I'm gonna do a set. And then, he decided to go onstage. He went onstage, the audience went fucking bananas. He got a huge standing ovation, the moment he went onstage, murdered, I mean murdered for 15 minutes. And then he came upstairs and he grabbed me by my shoulders. And he goes, whatever the fuck we have to do, we're gonna keep doing this. You gotta open that club. I'm like, okay, okay.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 33:34Joe Rogan?

  That was the beginning of the comedy mothership, it was Ron White.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  How great is that?

• 33:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's the, he was the, the original. He was the, the Christopher Columbus, but that's a bad example, because that guy was a real piece of shit. Uh, you know, he was the original pioneer that came here.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, crazy. We went out, I'm out with that, I'll do one more Ron White story, because it's, it's just incredible. I go, I go, he go, we go out, and it's a little fancy, like, one of these posh little bars down in somewhere in the fancy hotel. And I even said, where do you want to go? And he says, this is kind of like, you know, I thought we were going to a bar. And he said, let's go to the one at the Rari or whatever. So we go, and it's, it's real fancy, and we sit down, and the waitress walks over to us, and it's, there's three of us, his wife, his girlfriend, me, my friend. And I said, um, let's do a Crown on the Rocks, and she, I'll have a glass of wine. And, and as I look over to his wife, I said, would you like a, damn, someone smoking weed.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  And Ron's is literally, he looks at, he's like, well, no fucking shit. And I go, Ron, you can't, you can't smoke pot in here. He goes, the hell can't, who, who the hell's gonna throw Ron White and Carrot Top out of a fucking bar? And within seconds, Metro is standing there going, you guys get the fuck out of here. And Ron's like, you gotta be fucking shit. I said, Ron, you can't, like, he just, he, the cops are there. And he's like, well, they're good, they're good. I said, no, we're not good. We gotta go. He just thought, he, who's gonna, he did that in my backstage this last week. I said, you can't smoke pot back here. He's, it's your fucking dressing room. What does that mean?

• 35:13Joe Rogan?

  Is that a lug sorting?

• 35:14Speaker 02

  No, cuz I've got the other people, the girls, the show.

• 35:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh, the next show.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  There's a lot of other people backstage that I can't do that.

• 35:21Joe Rogan?

  The next show is like strippers?

• 35:22Speaker 02

  It's called Fantasy, yeah. It's like my, it's like a lot like my show, except it's, it's funnier and there's naked people, so, you know.

• 35:29Joe Rogan?

  What is it?

• 35:30Speaker 02

  It's just a girls' dancing review show.

• 35:33Joe Rogan?

  They used to have something like that at the Riviera. It was called Crazy Girls.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:37Joe Rogan?

  Those like comedians would host it.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. That was kinda like this one. They have, they even, they would have a comic in the middle and then the girls, yeah. It's a good show. They've been there for a while.

• 35:46Joe Rogan?

  It's for people that want an excuse to see strippers, but they don't wanna go to a strip club.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, exactly.

• 35:51Joe Rogan?

  You can take a date to a show.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 35:54Joe Rogan?

  See some titty.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Ah, yes, exactly. It's smart, isn't it? See, we didn't go to a strip club, honey. We went to a fancy titty bar.

• 36:01Joe Rogan?

  Vegas is just such an odd place. There's nothing like that place. It's so strange. It's just got such a history. I mean, it's, first of all, the beginning of it, right? It's founded by the mob. Like, they literally want a place where they can get gambling. And then, in order to have legal gambling, there's probably some sort of a deal where they let the government blow nukes off in the middle of the fucking mountains. So there's spots out there where you really can't even visit because they detonated fifty, sixty nukes.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 36:30Joe Rogan?

  That's what killed John Wayne, you know?

• 36:33Speaker 02

  Vegas?

• 36:33Joe Rogan?

  John Wayne was doing a movie in Nevada about Genghis Khan. It's a terrible movie. And he did that movie and a giant percentage of the people that worked on the movie got cancer from it.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 36:46Joe Rogan?

  Because they were literally like right down the road from one of the test sites.

• 36:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 36:54Joe Rogan?

  It's fucked, right?

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:56Joe Rogan?

  But I always thought that's probably one of the reasons why they allowed them to do the gambling thing there. They probably made some sort of a deal. Like, "Yeah, you can have gambling, but this is what we want to do."

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:07Joe Rogan?

  We want to blow off nukes.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  I feel like that sometimes when I'm on stage at Luxor, something comes down and the crowd can see it, just a particle of something. It's always like, "Oh, it's nice, the place is fine." Asbestos.

• 37:27Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's not nukes. Luxor was built in like, what, the early 2000s?

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it wouldn't be nuclear stuff.

• 37:34Joe Rogan?

  When was that place built?

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, something like that.

• 37:36Joe Rogan?

  2000 or something like that? Because when we filmed Fear Factor, there was like 2003 or 2004.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, about 2000, yeah, because I've been there 20 of them, so yeah, 2000.

• 37:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so I don't think they use asbestos, but it's just such a weird place.

• 37:50Joe Rogan?

  93. Oh, wow. No kidding.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  Oh, shit, I'm way off. And I worked there, fuck.

• 37:59Joe Rogan?

  Not too far off, 10 years. Wow.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 38:04Joe Rogan?

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• 38:48Joe Rogan?

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• 39:05Speaker 03

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• 39:35Joe Rogan?

  It was a great idea.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's still phenomenal. You walk inside it, it's just breathtaking.

• 39:41Joe Rogan?

  I was there recently. I went to see the bodies exhibit.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  You walk in, it's like, I used to do a joke like that. See, I got, I had sex on a really hot chicken and then they finally threw me out of the bodies exhibit or something, so I forget the joke or something stupid.

• 39:54Joe Rogan?

  That bodies exhibit is fucking creepy. Do you know the story behind that place?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  I look, well, a little, I mean, yeah, that, kind of.

• 40:02Joe Rogan?

  They're mostly, well, they don't really know, like, where they're getting the bodies, but they do know that a lot of them are political prisoners. Yeah, so it's basically like people that ran afoul of the Chinese government, so they whack them and turn them into statues.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Wow. That's creepy. That's right outside my theater.

• 40:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, a lot of them, they call like unidentified bodies. But the real problem is, like, to be an unidentified body, you have to be unidentified for 30 days. But then, in order to do the plastination process, where they turn you into a statue, it has to take place within 48 hours of death. So.

• 40:48Joe Rogan?

  Someone's lying.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 40:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Someone's lying.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Makes a lot more sense now.

• 40:53Joe Rogan?

  A lot of my bullet holes.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  What a, what a great place to have a comedy club, right next to like the Titanic Museum and dead fucking bodies, right? That'd get you more in a mood for a show.

• 41:01Joe Rogan?

  I saw that too, the Titanic Museum.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, Titanic Museum.

• 41:04Joe Rogan?

  That's pretty dope. They actually have a big chunk of the Titanic on display there.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've been in there.

• 41:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. What a wild time where people would just get on a fucking boat and travel across the ocean with no YouTube, no GPS, hope they didn't hit an iceberg. And that was like, super fancy, high-tech travel. Imagine the people that traveled thirty, forty years before that. Wooden boats.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:30Joe Rogan?

  Not having any idea. Just going on a, a, a, a promise that you had a job waiting on the other side of the fucking ocean.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  Right?

• 41:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. That's how my grandparents got here.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  There are probably comics on those cruise ships working.

• 41:46Joe Rogan?

  Probably terrible comics on those cruise ships. That's the worst job in comedy.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Ah, ever, right? Ever. I did one. That's my only one.

• 41:55Joe Rogan?

  It's one of those things where a guy, you know, there's some guys that like it. Like, I know Alonso Boden does like jazz cruises. Like Alonso Boden is a, he's a great comic, but he's also like a giant jazz fan. Loves jazz music. So he'll go on jazz cruises and it's, it's probably perfect for him because like, it's like if I went on an MMA cruise, you know, I can talk about, it's like, you could talk about subjects that most people in a regular crowd be like, what the fuck is he talking about? If you're talking about obscure jazz music, you know?

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, that would work. I have a lot of friends love cruise ships. I just don't, yeah.

• 42:28Joe Rogan?

  Have you heard what they're doing with AI music, speaking of jazz? They, they did fifty, I sent it to Jamie today. They took Fifty Cent's Many Men and made it like a soulful song that seems like it's from the fifties or sixties. Have you heard that?

• 42:45Speaker 02

  No, but I heard, I've heard a few other ones, not the Fifty Cent one.

• 42:48Joe Rogan?

  Dude, you want to listen to it?

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:49Joe Rogan?

  It's so fucking good. I, I sent it to Brian Simpson and he said, that is the best fucking thing you've ever sent me.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  And so they just, they just, they just did that?

• 42:57Joe Rogan?

  Yes, through AI. It's not even a real human being's voice. And it's fucking good, dude. It's good where you're like, whoa! Listen to this. It seems weird hearing these lyrics with this kind of singing. You know, because it's like hardcore gangster rap music, but with, listen to this though. It's kind of crazy that they're doing.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Isn't that great?

• 43:52Joe Rogan?

  It gets better.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Isn't that great? How incredible.

• 44:30Joe Rogan?

  Nobody sings lyrics like that with those kind of lyrics. It's gangsta rap lyrics with an incredible voice.

• 44:38Joe Rogan?

  AI is fucking scary, man.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:40Joe Rogan?

  That's so good. If that was a dude, if that was a dude who sang that, I was like, who's this guy?

• 44:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:47Joe Rogan?

  You know, I'm like, this guy is fire.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  That's the kind of stuff we're gonna be, yeah. I mean, the first time I heard about it was Randy Travis had a song out, and I love Randy Travis. So I was like, he has a new album out, and he's not doing well. He can't, you know, he hasn't been able to.

• 45:00Joe Rogan?

  That's right, they used AI, but that was his decision, right?

• 45:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I think he wrote the music.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think he did. But it just blew me away. We had a whole fight with my crew, like, it's AI, it's not fucking AI, it's AI.

• 45:12Joe Rogan?

  It is, but it's not.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  And then they came back and they said it right.

• 45:14Joe Rogan?

  But the difference is, like, this is not a real person's voice.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 45:18Joe Rogan?

  It's probably a conglomeration of multiple different singers' voices. At least I'm guessing. Is it actually a guy?

• 45:23Speaker 05

  I don't know where this started, but I'm looking at the one that I'm looking at. They are trying to sell this like it's a, they tried to make it seem like 50 Cent covered this song from some guy named Shifty Brent.

• 45:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, but they do that stuff. They did that with the Chris Rock thing. When Chris Rock got slapped by Will Smith, they tried to pretend that it was an old television show. And they did an AI version of this old television show where a guy goes. On stage and slaps the comedian. It's really funny. It's AI is so squirrely. They're probably just trying to make money. That's why they did it, but god damn it's good.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  But the Randy Travis one.

• 45:56Joe Rogan?

  Is his voice.

• 45:57Speaker 02

  But I don't think so.

• 45:58Joe Rogan?

  No, no, it is. So what they do is like it's my voice too. Like they they use AI with my, there's a, there's a whole podcast with me and Steve Jobs. I never met Steve Jobs. There's a whole podcast that somebody made with AI. AI because you have Steve Jobs's voice and you have my voice. Thousands and thousands of hours, every sound that I can make with my voice.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 46:16Joe Rogan?

  Has already been made. So all the computer has to do.

• 46:20Joe Rogan?

  Weird noises. Weird noises. Uh, but all the computer has to do is just take a giant amount of your noises. And then apply and then apply it differently emotionally, slowly, somberly, angrily, and you can just put it all together.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  They just had one with me something. And it was like, what the, and it was me doing something, you know.

• 46:42Joe Rogan?

  Do they do ransom phone calls where people call people and say, I've been kidnapped, I need money?

• 46:47Speaker 02

  That's what it was. It was not, it was, hey, it's, it's, it's me. I'm listening. If you could, uh, help me out. I need, um, and it was like I was broke and I was down and out. I needed the money.

• 46:57Joe Rogan?

  And they, these people won't stop sucking my dick and we're in the desert.

• 47:02Joe Rogan?

  Send money. Yeah, there's, it's, it's, it's real weird because it's super good now. In, in the beginning, when we first started hearing it was kind of obvious because the inflections were off. Like the way you would say something, like, like the inflections in that song.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 47:17Joe Rogan?

  Was insane. You know? That I'll take, that I'll take your life. Watch how you're talking about me. Ah, I'll take your life away. Ooh, you hear it, you're like, damn. So that means that, that we, we associate with a, a soulful, incredibly creative person. With an amazing, God given talent of a voice, but it's not.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:41Joe Rogan?

  That's what's crazy. Like they nailed it. Even though I know it's fake, I love it. And you love it too. Like we're listening, like this is great, but we know it's fake. That's kind of crazy. The Randy Travis thing is different because what they just did is he wrote. And then he can't sing anymore, but they have thousands of hours of him singing.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Singing, so they took.

• 48:00Joe Rogan?

  They take that and then just turn it into him singing.

• 48:03Speaker 02

  That's amazing.

• 48:04Joe Rogan?

  It is him singing. It's actually his voice. It's just not coming out of his mouth. It's coming out of technology, but it is his voice.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 48:11Joe Rogan?

  And it's his writing, right? So it's like, it really is a Randy Travis album. It's just Randy Travis. Like, you can enjoy someone that can't do it anymore, but is still alive.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Right, sure.

• 48:23Joe Rogan?

  You know? Like, that guy had so many great songs.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 48:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. That guy has.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  I could go on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

• 48:33Joe Rogan?

  Well, you have to have.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  No, he's got so many. I love, I remember my first big country, says Kenny Rogers, and my dad would go see Kenny Rogers every goddamn. Every concert my dad went to was Kenny Rogers.

• 48:44Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 48:45Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 48:45Joe Rogan?

  That's hilarious.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  And then he goes.

• 48:47Joe Rogan?

  Oh, we put the headphones back on. We forgot. We forgot we had one.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  I'm off, because, yeah, I feel more animated.

• 48:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  The, uh, this is weird. So we get, he goes to see Kenny Rogers, and I'm, I'm like 12 or something, 13. He says, you wanna go? So my dad's, I said, I'll go to Kenny. My first concert with Kenny Rogers, it's like, huge. He was playing like arenas. It was him and Tammy Wynette, and that was great.

• 49:09Joe Rogan?

  You gotta know when to hold on.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  And we write all the hits. And we go.

• 49:13Joe Rogan?

  Know when to hold on.

• 49:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, and then the second concert I go to was Kenny Rogers, right? So I'm like, geez, all right. I don't think there's anything else but Kenny Rogers, right? Third time I go to this fucking thing. I'm like, Dad, is, is, can we go to like Alabama? Can we go do another, another concert? Because he loved Alabama. He loved this. No, Kenny Rogers is, so then I meet Kenny Rogers in an elevator in LA. Like, it's just the weirdest thing. Bing, door's open. And he gets standing, he gets on. I said, I said, oh, man, I don't bother you. You're a legend. He's like, thank you. I said, you know the first concert I ever went to? He says. I'm gonna say me. I said, yep. He said, that's awesome. I said, you know the second concert I went to?

• 49:56Speaker 02

  He says, nope. I said, you. He says, wow, that's awesome. I said, you want another third? He goes, alright, fuck off. He goes, fuck off, where we going with this? I said, my dad took me to your concert three times in a row. He goes, well, you have a great dad. And then it was just kinda awkward. He was just, we're just, I kinda ran out of-

• 50:14Joe Rogan?

  Dude, exactly what we were talking about. You act weird in front of celebrities.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Right, and we're just looking at the numbers and we're going up and finally I said, oh, you know what? You have great chicken. And I'm like, what the fuck? I didn't know what else to say. But he really did have this great chicken roaster thing. And that's what I said. And he went like, he looked at me like, fuck off. I said, no, and the sides are great too, the chicken.

• 50:35Joe Rogan?

  That song, The Gambler, how many people did that turn into gambling junkies?

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 50:39Joe Rogan?

  Romanticized gambling. It made it seem so, you gotta know when to hold them. I do, I know when. I know when to walk away. I know when to run.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know what I'm doing. I got this shit.

• 50:49Joe Rogan?

  Did they make a TV movie about that? Wasn't there like a TV movie?

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, called The Gambler. Wasn't it called The Gambler?

• 50:56Joe Rogan?

  I think there was a TV movie called The Gambler, yeah.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  We'll find out in seconds.

• 51:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Yep.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's something about, there's something about music that was created before the internet.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  The Gambler, there you go.

• 51:11Joe Rogan?

  The Gambler, look at them. What year is this?

• 51:14Speaker 02

  He's a stud.

• 51:15Joe Rogan?

  1980.

• 51:18Joe Rogan?

  There's something about stuff that was created before the internet that's so fascinating. It's like an archaeological dig, you know? Like, this is like-

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Look at that, that's just great. That even looks great, doesn't it? It's like, you wanna watch it.

• 51:30Joe Rogan?

  Can I say, can I listen? Cause it's like an archaeological dig. Like, you're looking at the way people used to behave and talk before the internet.

• 51:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:42Joe Rogan?

  You know, it's weird. It's like oddly fake, you know? It's like oddly, like-

• 51:48Speaker 02

  Interesting how you analyze that way. Now I wanna see what you're talking about.

• 51:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like I'm being, I'm an amateur archaeologist here. This is a different time, human beings from 1980 were like a different thing. Everybody would just leave the house, everyone had a key. Nobody fucking, nobody knew where anybody was at any given time. You left the house, you were gone. We didn't even have answering machines yet.

• 52:14Speaker 02

  Right, no, right, right.

• 52:15Joe Rogan?

  People were basically wild animals who lived in houses.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  You're right, we had no.

• 52:19Joe Rogan?

  And they only knew how to behave from movies and TV. Give me some of this.

• 52:23Speaker 05

  Just play on the music.

• 52:25Joe Rogan?

  Oh, is it still playing the music? Oh, okay. Is this the theme song?

• 52:29Speaker 05

  It's playing the song, the gambler.

• 52:31Joe Rogan?

  I want it, yeah.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  That's great, that's so funny.

• 52:33Joe Rogan?

  Look at even the way it looks, the way it looks, it looks so cornball. It's just kind of amazing.

• 52:41Joe Rogan?

  You know, we just, people just kind of accepted.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  I love the fact that how you put it, there was, not even having self-recall.

• 52:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, answering machines.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  They were just gone.

• 52:54Joe Rogan?

  We were wild animals. People in 1980 were essentially wild animals. They were wild animals who had children. No one knew what was going on in the world. Everybody was completely uninformed.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  Right, isn't that great?

• 53:05Joe Rogan?

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• 53:46Joe Rogan?

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• 54:31Joe Rogan?

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• 55:16Joe Rogan?

  Just go to thefarmersdog.com/rogan. This offer is for new customers only. Heard that Russia was gonna blow us up. That was every day. Everybody's worried about Russia blowing us up. And no one knew what was going on, and everybody lived in bliss. And you only knew the people in your neighborhood. You didn't know anybody else.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:35Joe Rogan?

  You didn't know, like-

• 55:36Speaker 02

  True.

• 55:36Joe Rogan?

  There wasn't even one one-hundredth of the amount of famous people back then. There was a tiny amount of famous people. There was Elvis and a few other folks.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:45Joe Rogan?

  Just a few rock stars, a few comics. There's like Richard Pryor.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Right. Or TV shows that you'd find with, you know.

• 55:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, dude, animals. We were, look at Kenny Rogers.

• 55:59Joe Rogan?

  These are wild animals that have just been introduced to technology, and they're aping what it's like to be a grown-up. Like, they're just figuring it out. And now here we are. We're like the teenagers. We're the adolescents of civilization. So we realize that's kind of silly, and everything, but there's stuff from then that's better than stuff that's today, for whatever weird reason. There's some music back then that hits you, because like, you realize like how special this really, like Prince, for instance. Like, I remember the first time I listened to Prince. I listened to, I was delivering newspapers at the time, and I listened to "I Wanna Be Your Lover." And I was like, "Who the fuck is this guy, man?" Like, this guy was coming out of nowhere. He was like-

• 56:44Joe Rogan?

  Completely androgynous, like he was a beautiful man with his long flowing hair. And the first album is him with his shirt off, just staring at you like, what the fuck is going on? And then, "I Wanna Be Your Lover", I heard that, I was like, oh my god, this guy's talented. But he was like, out of nowhere talented, you know what I mean? Like, who the fuck was like that guy before him?

• 57:10Speaker 02

  Right.

• 57:11Joe Rogan?

  He was completely different than anybody that came before him.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  The only one I think that would, people compare was Michael Jackson because of the...

• 57:17Joe Rogan?

  He was very different too.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  Right, but that hit, because I remember when Prince came out, I'm like, oh, he's trying to be Michael Jackson. No, no, yeah, but he couldn't, he wasn't.

• 57:24Joe Rogan?

  What year is this?

• 57:25Speaker 05

  This is his first performance.

• 57:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, let me see this. Let me hear some of this.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  There you go, there's your song.

• 57:34Joe Rogan?

  Aw, man, what a song.

• 57:39Joe Rogan?

  Look at him!

• 57:40Speaker 02

  Nah, he...

• 57:43Joe Rogan?

  Bro.

• 57:44Speaker 02

  You could, it's so funny, this, this, this video, if you took the sound off this and you put in like, Cinderella, it would probably match his, his Aerosmith. But it looked, how he's doing it, but he's like, he walked this way.

• 57:57Joe Rogan?

  Right, right.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  He's got, even if you took the, it looks like it's rock and roll.

• 58:01Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he was so compelling. He was so compelling.

• 58:10Joe Rogan?

  I bet women were so confused why they wanted to fuck him. Like, why do I want to fuck that woman? They wanted to fuck him, they dig, like, he cracked the code. He figures something out. Like, when you're a five foot three dude with insane amount of talent, and you're wearing stiletto heels on stage and everybody wants to fuck you.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 58:27Joe Rogan?

  Cause he was that fucking talented.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:30Joe Rogan?

  He was that talented. And then, it was also, his music was so wild. Like, that song, "Head", I remember that song, that was like, what year was "Head"? Was that like, 86 or something like that? Like, what year was that?

• 58:46Joe Rogan?

  Not my music.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  I know the thing.

• 58:49Joe Rogan?

  Eighty?

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 58:50Joe Rogan?

  Wow, nineteen eighty. So this was in, before I was in high school, son. This is before I was in high school. He had a song about blowjobs.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:01Joe Rogan?

  Morning, noon, and night, I'll give you a head.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 59:04Joe Rogan?

  Till you burn it up, head. Do you love his red head? Love you till you're dead. Ow!

• 59:09Speaker 02

  You know, Prince people, Prince people reached out to our, our people one night and asked if they could come to the show when he was at the Rio.

• 59:16Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  And we said, well, fuck yeah, what do you mean? Of course we would. And they said, there's only one, one caveat. I said, what's that? You can't curse.

• 59:25Joe Rogan?

  Prince hates cursing?

• 59:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:27Joe Rogan?

  For real, for real?

• 59:28Speaker 02

  Well, yeah.

• 59:28Joe Rogan?

  Maybe he just wanted to fuck with you.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 59:30Joe Rogan?

  How much power do I have?

• 59:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do tell. Well, I.

• 59:34Joe Rogan?

  I don't think, I want to hear swears tonight, tell them.

• 59:37Speaker 02

  I would tell my, my people, I said, I said, hold on a second. He's telling me I can't curse? I said, yeah, that's the only thing. I said, but I, he has, he has a song called Cream, Get Off.

• 59:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  Cream, right?

• 59:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  And they're like, yeah. I'm like, no, I'm not gonna change my whole.

• 59:51Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he became a devoted Jehovah's Witness. And as a result, stopped using profanity.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:57Joe Rogan?

  Even implementing a cash swear jar at his Paisley Park studio to enforce his no swearing policy. Witnesses believe that using blasphemous or foul language is a sin and Prince adhered to this tenet by removing swear words from his music and charging people for any foul language spoken at his compound. Well.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  I'm already down like two hundred, I'm already fined two hundred bucks today, I think.

• 1:00:19Joe Rogan?

  As much as I love that guy, I would not visit him. I would be like, I can't do that, dude.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  No, that's what I, well, that's what I said.

• 1:00:25Joe Rogan?

  Maybe I would, maybe I'd visit him once, maybe I'd talk to him once. I would just like, like, if I'm gonna go talk to a priest, I'm not gonna go swear. You know what I mean?

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:00:32Joe Rogan?

  I'm gonna try to be nice.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:34Joe Rogan?

  But like, at a certain point in time, like, I don't want to perpetuate this really stupid idea that different sounds that you make with your mouth are uniquely offensive. It's what you're, you're saying. It's supposed to be a sound that I make so you know what I'm thinking. And if you have words that you could substitute for these. Thoughts that are If you have a thought that is only expressed through fuck you.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:01:03Joe Rogan?

  Like, we know what fuck you means, and everybody says fuck you. Do you, for you to say that you can't say that anymore, you're manipulating language to make it have less nuance. That's never good.

• 1:01:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:15Joe Rogan?

  Like, it's already not nuanced enough. Like, it still doesn't quite grasp exactly what you're thinking or what you're saying. And the worst-case scenario of it is when someone writes down what you're saying, instead of like hearing you say it in context with the conversation that you're having, right?

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:01:34Joe Rogan?

  So it's like, anybody who says you don't use certain words, like, stop being a baby. Stop being a baby. These are just noises you make so that you, we can understand. You can, you can, all that shit is nonsense. It's stupid. It's stupid, and it was mostly created, I think, well, first of all, on television, right? Television, you had advertising, and that was the only place where there was advertising. And so that was the only place that had a proven audience. But to keep that proven audience on NBC and CBS, you had to institute laws. Where you're, you literally would get fined, like a serious amount of money, if you swore on TV. And then cable came along, and everybody, you know, Sam Kinison was on HBO.

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:17Joe Rogan?

  Like, and you're like, what? This is way better. Like, why can't we just talk?

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:21Joe Rogan?

  But again, this is cave people.

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:23Joe Rogan?

  Kinison on HBO was eighty-six.

• 1:02:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:26Joe Rogan?

  No one knew what the fuck was going on, dude. No one knew what the fuck was going on back then.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  Prior?

• 1:02:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  It was just amazing.

• 1:02:33Joe Rogan?

  When I was a kid, I was at my friend Jimmy Lawless's house, and we watched Eddie Murphy, Delirious. I think we were all like, what year was that?

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Eighty.

• 1:02:43Joe Rogan?

  I wanna say I was fifteen, maybe?

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  Delirious, eighty-six?

• 1:02:48Joe Rogan?

  I wanna say I was like fifteen or sixteen. I couldn't believe how funny it was. I was like, this is insane.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 1:02:56Joe Rogan?

  He's talking about the, the honeymooners fucking each other in the ass?

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 1:03:00Joe Rogan?

  Like, what? Jackie Gleason is fucking Ed Norton in the ass? Norton, I've been looking at you. You're like, this is insane. How is this on TV?

• 1:03:08Speaker 02

  Eighty-six?

• 1:03:10Joe Rogan?

  Eighty-three.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  Eighty-three?

• 1:03:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Wow.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  Unbelievable, right?

• 1:03:14Joe Rogan?

  So that makes, yeah. That, I think that-

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  No, you're right.

• 1:03:19Joe Rogan?

  That makes me like fifteen. Fucking crazy. It was so good, dude.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, what about that?

• 1:03:24Joe Rogan?

  And it was new. It was like, all of a sudden, you're seeing, you're hearing someone just swearing on TV.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:03:30Joe Rogan?

  Like, this is crazy. How am I even watching this?

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Right. That's, well, it was, that was a big change in every, and then, because the cable-

• 1:03:38Joe Rogan?

  Well, cable and then VHS tapes. Where you can go and like, you could rent Delirious.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:44Joe Rogan?

  And people would rent it.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Wasn't it too bad to, right?

• 1:03:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you'd go home and put it in, you'd get your popcorn out and go to watch Delirious. We were cave people.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, we were cave people.

• 1:03:53Joe Rogan?

  We were cave people. We were telling stories by the fire.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, literally.

• 1:03:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:03:58Joe Rogan?

  I didn't bear to hear, I'm tired of him, ooh. Like, that was our form of entertainment.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  It's so weird, do you think back about that? Could you keep bringing this up? Isn't that weird? Because I'm about your age and that, we didn't have any, we didn't, like you said, we didn't even have an answering machine.

• 1:04:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, we had nothing.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  We had nothing.

• 1:04:14Joe Rogan?

  I think we are the perfect, we're the perfect people to like, really understand the change that society's gone through and how spectacular that change is. Because we, we were there when there was none, where there was nothing. Where walkie talkies were crazy.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  That was huge to have a walkie talkie.

• 1:04:33Joe Rogan?

  If somebody had a walkie talkie, that was nuts. You could, you could talk to your friend in the, in your bedroom, you had to be quiet.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 1:04:39Joe Rogan?

  Bro, what's going on over there? Over.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, right.

• 1:04:42Joe Rogan?

  As long as he has it like reasonably close.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  Mom just pulled in, over, yeah.

• 1:04:45Joe Rogan?

  It was the craziest thing in the world. You could talk to a walkie talkie. Or I knew a dude who had a CB in his car. He would just have random conversations with people. Bro, they would just start talking about stuff.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, breaker one, yeah.

• 1:04:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, breaker one, I want you up too.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and they would just have conversations and people would meet people.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Like you said, and the smoking the banet, that was, that was, but that, that is about the time you're talking about too. Where they were, we had CBs, but they're also like, cavemen, they were just-

• 1:05:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  It was, it was, it was-

• 1:05:13Joe Rogan?

  But you were the cool guy. If you had a CB in your truck.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:16Joe Rogan?

  If you had a CB in your truck, you were cool.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:18Joe Rogan?

  Didn't- Didn't Burt Reynolds have a CB in his Trans Am?

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course he did.

• 1:05:23Joe Rogan?

  Did he?

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, he had to. Yeah, he had talked to Burt. Yeah, he did. Hey, hey, big, uh, what's up? Yeah, we're gonna pull over here and feed the dog and be... Ten-four, good buddy.

• 1:05:32Joe Rogan?

  That is the ultimate cool guy.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, look at that.

• 1:05:34Joe Rogan?

  He's got a wobbly talkie in his Trans Am with a cowboy hat on.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  Fucking right, that's my...

• 1:05:39Joe Rogan?

  Fuck!

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  By the way, that's, it is one of my only movies that I own on my iPod.

• 1:05:43Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it is another archaeological site. It's a dig. They've dug down to another time of human beings where this is the coolest guy in the world. A guy runs from the cops in a Trans Am with a firebird on the fucking hood. And he's talking on a CB with a cowboy hat on.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  And that was the first movie that...

• 1:06:06Joe Rogan?

  It's like Greek theater.

• 1:06:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. First movie, they broke the camera. The third, what do you call that? Where they look into the camera.

• 1:06:11Joe Rogan?

  Oh, the third wall?

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. That was the first movie.

• 1:06:14Joe Rogan?

  What do they call it?

• 1:06:15Speaker 02

  Fourth wall?

• 1:06:15Joe Rogan?

  Fourth wall.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  Fourth wall. It's right when he's, when he first being chased.

• 1:06:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, thank God, Jimmy.

• 1:06:19Speaker 02

  He's going down the, he's going, he, he, he loses him in the alley in the very beginning chasing. And he's going like, he's backing in like this and he looks at the camera and he goes... It's like, that was fucking awesome. Like, he just, he just gave that look and went...

• 1:06:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Burt Reynolds had so much charisma in his prime. He was so good.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  And the fucking sheriff. I mean, goddammit, how great is that whole...

• 1:06:39Joe Rogan?

  Bro, you know where it was really great?

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Give me a dabble sandwich and a Dr. Pepper, maybe quick, I'm in a goddamn hurry. Where are you at? Who's chasing you? No one's chasing me. I'm Sheriff Be... No one's chasing me.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  You stay here and you lea-, you lea-, you think about it, but don't do it.

• 1:06:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  His kid's on the car.

• 1:06:59Joe Rogan?

  Dude, Jackie Gleason was amazing in that.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  That's an attention getter.

• 1:07:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. He was so good in those movies.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  That's called an attention getter.

• 1:07:08Joe Rogan?

  Do you remember, um, Burt Reynolds in Deliverance?

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, absolutely.

• 1:07:12Joe Rogan?

  That was, that was an insane role.

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  Crazy, crazy.

• 1:07:15Joe Rogan?

  That was an insane role. That was when you get to see him as an actual actor. You're like, oh, this guy was good. He was a good actor. You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't just Smokey and the Bandit.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  Right, sure, no.

• 1:07:25Joe Rogan?

  The guy having a good time, super charming, great mustache, smiling at the camera. He was fun, man. Like, in Deliverance, man. It was like right out of him, uh, right when he was done playing football.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:07:37Joe Rogan?

  That's right, he kills a guy with a bow, doesn't he?

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  Crazy movie.

• 1:07:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, man, it was a good movie. That was a good movie.

• 1:07:45Speaker 02

  I got to meet him, he was cool as hell.

• 1:07:48Joe Rogan?

  That's a very intense movie.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  He had a pie fight.

• 1:07:50Joe Rogan?

  You had a pie fight with Burt Reynolds?

• 1:07:51Speaker 02

  No, I was on the Tonight Show, Burt Reynolds, this is crazy, Burt Reynolds was the lead guest. He came out and talked about being married like nine times. Mark Summers, who hosted the, um,

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  game show, whatever it was, Mark Summers, he came out. And Burt moves down to the second chair and Mark's, here's Jay, and he puts his back to Burt and he starts telling him, you know,

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  you know, something about being, you know, I've only been married once, and Burt's over there, you know, kind of getting a little, first he's got his back to him. Then he takes the cup, the mug, and he says, he went to take it, and he says, is this mine? He says, I don't give a shit, and he says, well, you've been married five times, I don't want to, he was trying to be funny, like, I don't drink after you've been married five times, it's kind of hurt. They got, oh, here it is. Now, here's the best part, I'm, watch.

• 1:08:46Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Oh, no, this is real shit, I'm a guest, I'm gonna,

• 1:08:49Joe Rogan?

  He threw a drink on him?

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:51Joe Rogan?

  Was this planned?

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:08:53Joe Rogan?

  No?

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:08:53Joe Rogan?

  And who's the other dude?

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  Mark Summers.

• 1:08:55Joe Rogan?

  And who's Mark Summers?

• 1:08:57Speaker 05

  He's the host of Double Dare.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  Double Dare, thank you.

• 1:08:59Speaker 05

  Nickelodeon stuff.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  Now, watch, now, watch how angry Burt, watch, he's, watch him, watch, he's, they didn't have this planned, by the way.

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  But Burt hits him hard.

• 1:09:09Joe Rogan?

  Yo. Yo.

• 1:09:14Joe Rogan?

  That hurt.

• 1:09:16Joe Rogan?

  Look at the torque he got in that right hand, I want you to watch this again.

• 1:09:21Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he got hip into that?

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  No, he was fucking pissed.

• 1:09:24Joe Rogan?

  He got his right shoulder?

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  At the end, if you watch it, he'll go, hey, Carrot Top will be here tomorrow night. At the end.

• 1:09:30Joe Rogan?

  Look at this, frame by frame.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  Well, he's a fucking football player, too, look at,

• 1:09:34Joe Rogan?

  And, bro, bro, he- Clock that dude. Look at his face. Look at that freeze frame. That guy should be ashamed of that look for the rest of his life. How dare you. How dare that face.

• 1:09:44Speaker 02

  Right there is scary.

• 1:09:46Joe Rogan?

  If I was friends with that dude, I'd be like, no, you're not gonna do that. He's gonna hit, he's gonna kill you. Bro, the, look at the torque he got into that.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, well, I say you're a football player.

• 1:09:55Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that was like-

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  And I'm backstage going, am I going on? And they're like, no, we're gonna, we're gonna be, we're gonna cut you.

• 1:10:00Joe Rogan?

  Actually, I just want to say, that guy's got a great chin.

• 1:10:03Speaker 05

  He's smiling.

• 1:10:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he better smile. He just got bitch slapped.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  Look at Jay.

• 1:10:07Joe Rogan?

  But he took a great shot, I want to say.

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  He says, we'll be right back with, no, tomorrow night, we'll have Karen Diamond, fucking shit.

• 1:10:19Joe Rogan?

  That was salt and pepper, Jay.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:21Joe Rogan?

  Another guy that took way too much shit.

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  Jay.

• 1:10:23Joe Rogan?

  They gave him so, so much of a hard time. It's just like when Larry Holmes became the heavyweight champ of the world after Muhammad Ali.

• 1:10:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:30Joe Rogan?

  Everybody hated Larry Holmes. When Jay Leno took over after Johnny Carson, there's a bunch of people-

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  He got, he got a lot of grief for that.

• 1:10:37Joe Rogan?

  For no reason.

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  No reason, because they would put on great shows too.

• 1:10:40Joe Rogan?

  Super nice guy to everybody.

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  The writing was great, the shows were great. No, never.

• 1:10:44Joe Rogan?

  I always had a good time talking to him. Always a nice guy.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:47Joe Rogan?

  He's a nice guy and like, what he should have been doing all along is really what he's doing now, is his car shows.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:10:54Joe Rogan?

  Cause like that guy, if you talk to him about cars, he's so entertaining. He loves cars. Like, he loves them. I mean, he knows more about cars probably than anybody I've ever met in my life. He's got an insane collection and he likes everything. He likes old Datsuns-

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  Anything. He's got a fire truck?

• 1:11:11Joe Rogan?

  Yup, yup, yup.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  A jet bike?

• 1:11:13Joe Rogan?

  A genuine fan of automobiles and the way he talks about it is so entertaining.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  Yup, no.

• 1:11:18Joe Rogan?

  Because that's really what he wants to do.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  And he's also crazy, right? Because he's, he's, he's unstoppable. So he, he, he fell off that cliff or whatever the fuck it was, right? You heard about this?

• 1:11:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, what happened to him?

• 1:11:31Speaker 02

  I just talked to him in Vegas and he went and saw him. And I said, how you doing? He goes, you know, I said, you can still see like a, you know, a little bit of bruising because it was, it was about two weeks after he'd, he'd had the fall.

• 1:11:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh Jesus, he was out and about two weeks later?

• 1:11:45Speaker 02

  What do you mean? He did the show that night.

• 1:11:47Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  Yes, he fell-

• 1:11:48Joe Rogan?

  Did he get a concussion?

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  He said, he, how he says, he says, he said, there was a, you know, a golden corral next to the, you know, La Quinta. I'm like, I said, first thing I said to him, I said, are you okay? I said, my question, what the fuck are you staying in La Quinta? And he goes, ah, you know, we all can't have stay the fourth evening. I said, no, but really, what, what happened? He said, I just went out to La Quinta, no.

• 1:12:08Joe Rogan?

  He doesn't spend any of his money.

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  He walked out of the La Quinta and he, it was a little hill, like not even like a hill.

• 1:12:15Joe Rogan?

  He went hiking.

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  He went hiking.

• 1:12:17Joe Rogan?

  With like slippery shoes on, probably.

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  He said, ah, the golden corral.

• 1:12:20Joe Rogan?

  He's probably wearing dress shoes.

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go corral, right. And his denim and so he went, he just looked, it was a little deeper than he thought and he slipped, fell.

• 1:12:29Joe Rogan?

  Ooh.

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  And hit his eye, you know, right in the thing where it's bad. So he went into, got his golden corral. You know, thank and thank, went, got his food, went to the club and went on stage bleeding.

• 1:12:42Joe Rogan?

  That's so crazy.

• 1:12:42Speaker 02

  And I said, what do you mean? I said, what do you, he said, what do you mean?

• 1:12:45Joe Rogan?

  The show must go on.

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  He's, he's, I just, I just held, you know, the mic with his hand, the married guy, that married guy in the crowd. And I'm like, I, it's just amazing to me. If I tripped my nail, I'd cancel.

• 1:12:56Joe Rogan?

  He told this insane show, insane story, rather, of a show that he have, had to do with a priest and a mob guy, where the mob guy was yelling at the priest and swearing and Jay's like yelling and swearing, like doing the same, you know, like saying what the mob guy said. I was like, seeing Jay Leno talk like that was like, what?

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:13:18Joe Rogan?

  The Tonight Show guy?

• 1:13:19Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:13:20Joe Rogan?

  I can't believe he was talking like that, this is insane.

• 1:13:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, you came to see him say dang, ah dang, dang, dang it, ah, what are you gonna do? That's crazy.

• 1:13:26Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, he was doing this like super, hyper violent Italian mob guy, like screaming obscenities at this priest and Jay Leno was yelling it out. It's a fucking amazing story.

• 1:13:35Speaker 02

  And was it a show?

• 1:13:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was a show that he was doing, like, you know, before he made it. It was like back in the day, he did some sort of a show where, you know, I think it was like a benefit or something like that, where there was a priest involved and then the mob guy got mad at the priest and was yelling at him. It's a fucking hilarious story. But that guy doesn't spend any of his Tonight Show money.

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:57Joe Rogan?

  He lives all entirely off of stand-up money.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  Stand-up, yep.

• 1:14:00Joe Rogan?

  Which is crazy.

• 1:14:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:14:01Joe Rogan?

  So he's just stockpiling it all at the La Quinta Inn.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  La Quinta, that's right.

• 1:14:07Joe Rogan?

  Someone needs to tell him. Like, money's a fun coupon. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Believe it or not, the holiday season is here again, and that means you might need to fill some seasonal roles. Fast. Maybe you need extra cashiers or stockers, or maybe something more unique, like a lead elf, or an expert gift wrapper, or a Zamboni driver. Whoever you're looking for, whatever skills you need to power through the rest of the year, ZipRecruiter is one of the best places to start your search. Because you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. And because ZipRecruiter helps sort through thousands of resumes and applications,

• 1:14:49Joe Rogan?

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• 1:15:15Speaker 03

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• 1:15:46Joe Rogan?

  You shouldn't be just scrolling it away.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, have fun with them. Have fun with them.

• 1:15:49Joe Rogan?

  But people that started out poor, which is like basically most comics, once you start making money, it's hard to believe that you're ever gonna keep making money. You start panicking. You know, they're going, "Oh my god, I gotta save this. I gotta save it."

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:16:01Joe Rogan?

  And then if you carry that into your seventies and eighties, somebody should sit you down and have a talk with you like,

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:06Joe Rogan?

  "I'm your financial advisor and now's the time to go crazy."

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're, you're, you're, you're good now.

• 1:16:10Joe Rogan?

  You should be looking into cocaine.

• 1:16:12Speaker 02

  You should be...

• 1:16:13Joe Rogan?

  You should probably buy more cars. Like, let's spend some of this shit.

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  As your final, I think you should start spending shit.

• 1:16:19Joe Rogan?

  As your advisor, you need to buy some ridiculous shit.

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  Let's get you in a nice car.

• 1:16:23Joe Rogan?

  Let's do something. You need to start buying stuff. You should, uh, you should have way more cars.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  That's great. You're right.

• 1:16:31Joe Rogan?

  Like, what are you saving up for, bro? This is the end times. This is it.

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, 'cause I don't, yeah. I don't, family, you know, that. It's like, I know a lot of people that have a lot of kids and a lot of that, you save up for them, but...

• 1:16:44Joe Rogan?

  But even them, like, ugh, giving kids like a ton of money.

• 1:16:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:48Joe Rogan?

  Giving kids a ton of money is not necessarily good for them.

• 1:16:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:16:52Joe Rogan?

  Like, if you look historically at people that got trust funds, it's, it's a weird road to go down and not have any ambition, or not have to have any ambition. Maybe you do have it, like, inherently, but for a lot of them, it's like they don't have to make it. They don't have... And I think that's, unfortunately, in this society that we live in, that doesn't seem to work. Like, in this society, it's very difficult to not be self-sustainable, not be able to take care of yourself. And if you can't take care of yourself, you gotta kinda learn how to do it. You can't just be constantly relying on other people, because I think it hinders your growth as a person.

• 1:17:31Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:17:32Joe Rogan?

  You know what I mean? I think it, like, fucks with you. Like, every guy that I've ever met that comes from a family, that, like, gives them, not every guy, but a lot of guys that I've met, that come, I've met some cool ones. They come from a family with a lot of money and they've never had to worry and they have trust funds and they never really have had a job. They're all weird.

• 1:17:49Speaker 02

  Yep. They're all weird.

• 1:17:51Joe Rogan?

  It's like cement that didn't get the amount of water that it needs when you're mixing it. It's always like weird.

• 1:17:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. It seems like everyone I know too, every comic or artist, whatever, everyone, they're all, their stories are the same, that they came from nothing and that's in. If you think about it, almost every comic and artist I know, they, they weren't, they didn't have money, they had nothing.

• 1:18:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it's not mutually exclusive.

• 1:18:15Speaker 02

  No, no, right.

• 1:18:16Joe Rogan?

  Right, it's not, there are people that have come from great families and great backgrounds that just happen to be funny. Right. It's a weird thing, man. Like talent is an odd thing, really is, a very weird thing. Like, there's certain universal truths, like you're gonna find more talent, probably in, in harder communities, like. You're gonna have better rock and roll in like the dingy fucking outskirts of town, like those guys are gonna be Nirvana, right?

• 1:18:44Speaker 02

  But I love hearing like a Billy Joel story where, where you can relate to it, like, you know, I started cutting lawns at eight years old. I'm like, I started, I started cutting lawns at eight years old, you know, I literally, and you know, nowadays, no kids, kids don't do anything. And I'm like, yeah, I did that, I, I.

• 1:19:01Joe Rogan?

  Billy Joel was a boxer.

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  cleaned office buildings and I did everything, you know, moved lawns, car. He was a boxer?

• 1:19:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Billy Joel was a boxer, yeah.

• 1:19:10Speaker 02

  I did not know that, shit.

• 1:19:11Joe Rogan?

  I don't know how many fights that he had, I think he lost.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  Are you being funny, really, Billy Joel was a boxer?

• 1:19:16Joe Rogan?

  Billy Joel was a boxer, yeah.

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  I did not know that.

• 1:19:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I think he was good, I think he was pretty good. I mean, I think it was a good amateur level. Twenty-two and two.

• 1:19:24Speaker 02

  Really? Gosh, how I didn't know that.

• 1:19:25Joe Rogan?

  Was that professional? Golden Gloves, so amateur level, so.

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:19:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, legit boxer.

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  I just know that he was bro- ah, did not know that, no.

• 1:19:35Joe Rogan?

  He's a guy whose music changed radically. Like, if you go back and listen to Captain Jack.

• 1:19:39Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:19:40Joe Rogan?

  It like from Captain Jack to Uptown Girls, like, oh.

• 1:19:45Joe Rogan?

  You know, it's like you, like it's great music, it was a huge hit, but it's a different vibe. It's like a guy who's in love now and he's got a supermodel for a wife and he's worth a billion dollars. Captain Jack was his gritty Long Island story. It's like, fuck, that's a good song.

• 1:20:01Speaker 02

  That's a great song. But you're right, you can see how their life changes and their music changes. So like you said, now he's got a, you know, uptown girl, got money, I got a, you know.

• 1:20:13Joe Rogan?

  You ever heard the song Billy the Kid?

• 1:20:17Joe Rogan?

  He's got, he's got some great fucking songs.

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  Well, the one that, that was his special I just saw was, was.

• 1:20:23Joe Rogan?

  Wasn't it Billy the Kid? Is that the name of that song?

• 1:20:28Joe Rogan?

  It's, it's a great.

• 1:20:29Speaker 02

  The one that got me on the special was The Entertainer. I thought that was interesting because he was ripping on.

• 1:20:35Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 1:20:36Speaker 02

  He was ripping on show business.

• 1:20:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, the Ballad of Billy the Kid. That is a great fucking song.

• 1:20:43Joe Rogan?

  My parents had that album on vinyl when I was a kid. I listened to, what year was that? Seventy-three, son. I listened to that and I was like, like this is, again, this is an archaeological dig, you know? You're like going to like the beginnings of certain genres of music and certain kinds of music. And back then, that's how you got it. You heard it on the radio and you went out and bought an album and he sat there.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, and looked at it and, and looked at the artwork, yeah, read the paper, yeah.

• 1:21:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, weird.

• 1:21:14Speaker 02

  But the Entertainer one was interesting because he, the, the, the record label had asked him to come up with a, a hit.

• 1:21:21Joe Rogan?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  And, you know, the.

• 1:21:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's why he wrote it that way?

• 1:21:24Speaker 02

  No, I don't know. They just, it was just on a, I just watched, I remember exactly how it went down, but he said, "Yeah, you know, they were, they were saying they're gonna, they need a hit off this album and to make this big hit." So he, he wrote that and when they, they played it to them, they're like. Fuck you, we're getting rid of you. So they got rid of him, the label dropped him, cause he's, it's all about that.

• 1:21:47Joe Rogan?

  It's a music business, yeah.

• 1:21:49Speaker 02

  They take all your money and where they don't care about you and I'm like, that's ballsy, right? They want a hit and you basically say how much, you know, like the Luxor says, 20 years, could you do something special for me? And I have this big roast and how horrible the Luxor is and how much they, you know, it just shit. They're like, what?

• 1:22:06Joe Rogan?

  That is funny.

• 1:22:07Speaker 02

  It was a real album, like a real song. And they were like, no, you're done.

• 1:22:10Joe Rogan?

  They should have just took it on the chin. Look, the guy became huge after that stupid.

• 1:22:14Speaker 02

  That we'll see.

• 1:22:14Joe Rogan?

  You fucking dumb asses. You got rid of him.

• 1:22:17Speaker 02

  Now they say that.

• 1:22:18Joe Rogan?

  You got rid of him, he sold a billion albums.

• 1:22:20Speaker 02

  Now they don't.

• 1:22:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's got some great fucking, just the piano man, the piano man.

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  Alone, that one song alone is right.

• 1:22:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, how about Scenes from an Italian Restaurant?

• 1:22:29Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 1:22:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God. That is a fantastic song. And it's another, it's a story. It's a story of people's lives. You know, and it's, it's relatable. It's like, it's real, it's raw. It's, you know, again, it's like a window into a different time.

• 1:22:44Speaker 02

  Bottle of red, right? Bottle of, no, and I always used to make a joke about that on my show. Bottle of red, and it says bottles of white. So apparently he didn't like red as much as whites. He has plural in the, he said bottle of red, bottles of white.

• 1:22:57Joe Rogan?

  Does he say that?

• 1:22:58Speaker 02

  And I'm like, oh, he, he must have had, he liked more white wine than, that's how I pick up shit like.

• 1:23:03Joe Rogan?

  Are you sure that's the lyrics or did you just say that for the song?

• 1:23:06Speaker 02

  No, I think, I think it's, no, no, I think it says bottle of red, bottles of white. Now you gotta look.

• 1:23:11Joe Rogan?

  I thought you said a bottle of white. Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight.

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck, I don't know.

• 1:23:17Joe Rogan?

  Meet you anytime you want at our Italian restaurant.

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  Maybe I could be wrong.

• 1:23:21Joe Rogan?

  No, that is a great fucking song. That's a great song.

• 1:23:24Speaker 02

  Bottle of red.

• 1:23:25Joe Rogan?

  It's just, bottle of whites. You're right. A bottle of whites. Interesting.

• 1:23:32Speaker 02

  See, I knew it was something odd.

• 1:23:33Joe Rogan?

  But it's still a bottle.

• 1:23:34Speaker 02

  It's a bottles of white, right.

• 1:23:35Joe Rogan?

  So that's a weird way to write. A bottle of whites.

• 1:23:38Speaker 05

  It could be, it's wine, so it could be multiple kinds of white wine in one bottle.

• 1:23:42Joe Rogan?

  What did Jamie get in tact with?

• 1:23:44Speaker 02

  I mean, what I'm trying to say is.

• 1:23:46Joe Rogan?

  So a blend, would that be a bottle of whites?

• 1:23:48Speaker 02

  So I was onto something there, right? Cause I used to sing it and go, why's he saying that?

• 1:23:52Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that funny that some people don't like their grapes mixed? Don't you dare serve me a blend. Some people don't want a blend. Is that a blend of a Cabernet and a Merlot? Are you fucking high? Let's serve me a goddamn blend.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  I don't wanna blend.

• 1:24:08Joe Rogan?

  I don't wanna fucking blend. How weird are people?

• 1:24:11Speaker 02

  I'm gonna give you a little bit of this bird and a little bit of that bird, okay? Fuck off.

• 1:24:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, people are so weird.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  To blend.

• 1:24:15Joe Rogan?

  People that like get super down with wine. I got a, I got a buddy who's a wine, a legit wine connoisseur. My buddy Matt, so I, I could call him up out of nowhere, like I'd be at a restaurant and I'd send him a picture of the wine list. Tell me what to get. And he'd like look at it for like three seconds and be like, this is great, what are you guys eating?

• 1:24:34Speaker 02

  Steak? Cake bread, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:35Joe Rogan?

  And he would tell you how to do it, but um, he got scammed, well, he didn't get scammed, but there was a guy that he was friends with that was a gigantic scammer. And uh, I don't think this guy ever got him, but what this guy was doing was, they were all these wine connoisseurs and this guy was selling really rare wine that was counterfeit. It was fake, so he had infiltrated this thing, this like wine group, and he was a con man. And what he was doing was taking a bunch of different wines and mixing them and then trying to sell it as this like nineteen seventy impossible bottle from Bordeaux.

• 1:25:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:25:14Joe Rogan?

  And like, and so he would age the paper on the bottles and shit and like, and they raided his house, they found empty bottles everywhere and he was taking labels off of things and copying and printing them and...

• 1:25:26Speaker 02

  I have that with uh, lube.

• 1:25:28Joe Rogan?

  Nah.

• 1:25:29Speaker 02

  I do.

• 1:25:30Joe Rogan?

  You gotta get the real stuff, it's hard, you gotta get it from Portugal.

• 1:25:32Speaker 02

  They raided my house, and Jesus Christ.

• 1:25:34Joe Rogan?

  But this uh, this documentary highlighted, in my eyes, at least for some of those people, that it's kind of bullshit. Like all this, you, you think you know the difference between

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  Right, sure.

• 1:25:44Joe Rogan?

  really good old wine.

• 1:25:46Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:25:46Joe Rogan?

  But this guy just tricked you.

• 1:25:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:48Joe Rogan?

  And he tricked a lot of them. Couple guys he didn't trick, there was one guy in particular, this guy, the guy was like, this is trash.

• 1:25:53Speaker 02

  I was just gonna say.

• 1:25:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, one guy was like, this is trash, but the other guy was just raving about it, all of a sudden his opinion he questioned, like what? I just thought this was great, I thought it was crazy, he's like, no, that's just terrible.

• 1:26:03Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:26:04Joe Rogan?

  Terrible piss, this is scum piss. Like, it was weird.

• 1:26:07Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:26:07Joe Rogan?

  But it's like-

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  What was the wine movie that I, that, uh, what was the, with the wine?

• 1:26:11Joe Rogan?

  Well, this was a wine documentary.

• 1:26:13Speaker 02

  No, no, I'm trying to think of the guy who said, no more fucking Merlot, what was that?

• 1:26:16Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yes, that one, what was that?

• 1:26:18Speaker 02

  Sideways.

• 1:26:19Joe Rogan?

  That's right, that's right.

• 1:26:21Speaker 02

  That guy came to my show.

• 1:26:22Joe Rogan?

  I'm not drinking fucking Merlot.

• 1:26:23Speaker 02

  That guy came to my show, um, he's a brilliantly nice, sweet guy.

• 1:26:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:26:27Speaker 02

  Oh, great guy, just like in the movie, he's just so nice, and he came with a, um... Kieran Culkin, Macaulay Culkin's brother.

• 1:26:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's great in Succession.

• 1:26:39Speaker 02

  Great, they were filming an Audi commercial or something.

• 1:26:42Joe Rogan?

  What's that guy's name again?

• 1:26:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, Paul Giamatti.

• 1:26:46Joe Rogan?

  Paul Giamatti.

• 1:26:47Speaker 02

  He's so nice, he came back.

• 1:26:48Joe Rogan?

  He's amazing in everything.

• 1:26:49Speaker 02

  I said, "Could, would you, could you, would you, no, they want a drink, I want a drink." And they're like, "Yeah, I'll take whatever you got." I said, "We have a whole bar." I said, "Do you wanna, I said, "Do you wanna, you want a Merlot? I'm gonna have a Merlot." And just his face, he was so funny. He's like, I, like, I just said it, but I didn't say it like I was trying to be funny. I said, "We have this, we have, we have Merlot." And he's like, "Nah." I said, "Oh, I'm just fucking..." He said, "No." And then we did a video together. I said, "I'm trying to think if I find somebody I could find a, share a Merlot with." It pans over to him, he's like, "Not in fucking hell." It was just, it was such a great, he's such a great guy.

• 1:27:23Joe Rogan?

  He was great in that Howard Stern movie.

• 1:27:25Speaker 02

  He was, wasn't he?

• 1:27:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Private Parts?

• 1:27:28Speaker 02

  NBC.

• 1:27:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was really good in that. I'm saying it, WNBC, no, WNBC. Yeah, he's a good, good guy on top of that Roy guy.

• 1:27:42Joe Rogan?

  Merlot got a bad name after that movie. If I was in the Merlot business, I would have been furious.

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, no doubt.

• 1:27:46Joe Rogan?

  These motherfuckers, they're downplaying Merlot. I always liked Merlot, and then all of a sudden I had a shady opinion of it.

• 1:27:53Speaker 02

  Well, they did that with me on South Park, you know, it said that I was junk. I'm like, "Fuck."

• 1:27:57Joe Rogan?

  Did they?

• 1:27:57Speaker 02

  In a roundabout way, you know.

• 1:28:00Joe Rogan?

  South Park.

• 1:28:01Speaker 02

  They were do, they, everyone's parodied me, it's always been something stupid, like.

• 1:28:06Joe Rogan?

  It's just amazing how long.

• 1:28:07Speaker 02

  Indian casino, and it said, like, Carrot Scalp, you know, tonight, playing at the show.

• 1:28:11Joe Rogan?

  Who says that?

• 1:28:12Speaker 02

  It's like, it was in, like, Simpsons or Family Guy.

• 1:28:15Joe Rogan?

  Just for jokes.

• 1:28:16Speaker 02

  Just for jokes.

• 1:28:18Joe Rogan?

  South Park's been around longer than anything ever that's still good.

• 1:28:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:22Joe Rogan?

  Like, how do they do it?

• 1:28:23Speaker 02

  I don't know. Brilliant.

• 1:28:25Joe Rogan?

  It's just weird that they're still so on top of it. It's, they're so driven to, like, still push the boundaries and make it really funny. And it's been going on since.

• 1:28:37Speaker 02

  I was saying, my god, how many years?

• 1:28:39Joe Rogan?

  Like, the first video, I think, was 95 or 96 or something like that? The one that they were passing around, the VHS one with Brian Boitano?

• 1:28:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:46Joe Rogan?

  What year was that?

• 1:28:50Joe Rogan?

  I think it was ninety-five or ninety-five or ninety-six. Because I remember people on news radio were passing it around. And we were like, what the fuck is this? This is crazy.

• 1:29:02Speaker 05

  Ninety-five.

• 1:29:03Joe Rogan?

  Ninety-five, yeah. Everybody was passing around, we're like, this is insanity. This is so insane. It's so good. And I don't think it had a home yet. I don't think it was on Comedy Central yet.

• 1:29:12Speaker 05

  The first one they made was in ninety-two.

• 1:29:14Joe Rogan?

  Whoa. Which one was that? Which one was that?

• 1:29:18Speaker 05

  Trying to see which it says.

• 1:29:19Joe Rogan?

  Which is the Brian Boitano. What would Brian Boitano do? That's what everybody would say. We would be walking around the news radio set going, what would Brian Boitano do?

• 1:29:31Joe Rogan?

  And it's fucking Jesus is there and it's just, it's so ridiculous.

• 1:29:36Speaker 05

  That was actually in their first movie in ninety-nine.

• 1:29:40Speaker 05

  Which, that came quick.

• 1:29:41Joe Rogan?

  The Brian Boitano thing was?

• 1:29:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was in the movie, South Park Bigger Longer Uncut.

• 1:29:45Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:29:46Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:29:47Joe Rogan?

  So what was the ninety-five one or the ninety-four one?

• 1:29:50Speaker 05

  Uh, so they made fun of Brian Boitano in The Spirit of Christmas.

• 1:29:56Joe Rogan?

  So that came out in ninety-nine? So I wasn't, that was like the last year of news radio. I don't even know if I have a false memory now.

• 1:30:06Joe Rogan?

  Huh. What, uh?

• 1:30:08Speaker 05

  That was the one that was Jesus for Santa fighting?

• 1:30:10Joe Rogan?

  That's the night, that's the first one?

• 1:30:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:30:14Joe Rogan?

  There's no Brian Boitano in that one?

• 1:30:16Speaker 05

  He says, what would Brian Boitano do in that, but that's not, the song isn't until later.

• 1:30:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, right. But that's what, when he says it, okay. I thought I was going crazy. Hilarious still. I thought I had a fake memory.

• 1:30:27Speaker 05

  Says, yeah, Stan Marsh says to Cartman, what would Brian Boitano do as Jesus battles Santa?

• 1:30:31Joe Rogan?

  That's right. Okay. You had, you thought, you had me thinking I was crazy.

• 1:30:35Speaker 05

  Oh, the song was way bigger than.

• 1:30:37Joe Rogan?

  Right, but the show went where he says it. It was on the show. So that was the ver- I was like, am I losing my fucking mind? Like, no, I know it was on the first one. But it was just so groundbreaking and what and the brilliance of it was that you don't have to have it look realistic. So you can get away with so much more, like when when he stuffs, uh, what's her face up his ass? Who did he, uh?

• 1:31:00Speaker 02

  Paris Hilton.

• 1:31:00Joe Rogan?

  Paris Hilton, that right, when he had a slut off and stuffs Paris Hilton up his ass, it's like you can do that if it doesn't look real.

• 1:31:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:31:08Joe Rogan?

  Like if it's like super realistic and 3D, you can't do that. It has to look like South Park.

• 1:31:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:13Joe Rogan?

  They can get away with so much. They can kill kids. They kill Kenny every week. Nobody complains.

• 1:31:19Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:31:20Joe Rogan?

  Poor fucker dies every week. It's like.

• 1:31:24Joe Rogan?

  Imagine if this is like a graphic 3D video, you know, that looks hyper realistic. You can't do it. It has to look like complete nonsense and then we'll let you get away with almost anything.

• 1:31:36Speaker 02

  That's probably how they how they sold it that way.

• 1:31:38Joe Rogan?

  Well, if you think about it.

• 1:31:39Speaker 02

  They bought it that way.

• 1:31:40Joe Rogan?

  It there's like levels of realism that will will allow you to get away with more if it's like less realistic, right? Like that's why we used to allow like Road Runner, like and you know, Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner would like drop dynamite on him. Yeah, shit was always happening. He was always getting fucked up. That was okay because it was cartoons, right? But you couldn't have blood. Like blood all over the place, but if you make them look so goofy that their their heads just a big circle and they have like a little stick on. Then you get blood all over the place and nobody complains.

• 1:32:17Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:32:18Joe Rogan?

  Weird, right? It's kinda weird. It's like the less realistic, but we know what it is. They killed a kid. We're like, well, you killed Kenny, you bastards and no one has a problem with it. Which is because it's unrealistic. It's kinda weird, right?

• 1:32:31Speaker 02

  I think that's exactly how you put it.

• 1:32:33Joe Rogan?

  It's kinda weird.

• 1:32:34Speaker 02

  Unrealistic.

• 1:32:35Joe Rogan?

  It's a perfect cheat code. It makes everything more funny because you never feel guilty laughing. No matter what. When Cartman was in bed with Saddam Hussein or when Satan rather was in bed.

• 1:32:47Joe Rogan?

  There's just so many scenes where you're like, there's no way to do this unless you have cartoons. It's brilliant. Because you you wouldn't have never be able to get away with it.

• 1:32:55Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:32:55Joe Rogan?

  Like the one when they skirted around drawing Muhammad. They kind of skirted around, they never drew him. They like drew that, there was, there's like, oh, there's a truck and he's inside the truck in a bear suit.

• 1:33:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:08Joe Rogan?

  You can do things in cartoons that you just can't do in any other realm. It's, it's a perfect medium for comedy. And you can keep the kids young forever.

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:33:17Joe Rogan?

  You know, they're always gonna be in high school. Like, nobody questions the fact they've been in high school for forty years.

• 1:33:21Speaker 02

  Right, no.

• 1:33:21Joe Rogan?

  It's just, it's just, they're in high school, that's how it goes.

• 1:33:26Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 1:33:26Joe Rogan?

  They don't have to grow up. Shut the fuck up. Why are they gonna, why do they have to grow up?

• 1:33:30Speaker 02

  See, if they made, now, what if they did make a cartoon where they aged?

• 1:33:33Joe Rogan?

  Ugh.

• 1:33:34Speaker 02

  Aren't they funny, they're like, god damn. No, you wanna see them, they always look good.

• 1:33:37Joe Rogan?

  It'll be sad. God, that'll be a fucking loser in a trailer park.

• 1:33:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:41Joe Rogan?

  It's fun when he's the way he is now, and he's like a little kid.

• 1:33:46Joe Rogan?

  It's fun.

• 1:33:46Speaker 02

  They're still.

• 1:33:47Joe Rogan?

  I like throwing hissy fits, it's fun. Cause he's still a little kid. You know? You, you don't wanna, there's certain people, you don't wanna see them when they get full grown. Or when they're over the other side of it.

• 1:33:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:33:58Joe Rogan?

  When things, the wheels start falling off.

• 1:33:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:00Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 1:34:02Speaker 02

  That's what I mean, though, for their special, their end episode, they should do it.

• 1:34:06Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 1:34:07Speaker 02

  When it's all done, this is the final, they're all aged and they, it doesn't have the voice quite still.

• 1:34:12Joe Rogan?

  What they should do is do a 3D, uh, like, like, hyper-realistic version of the show. Like, just do it all through AI.

• 1:34:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:19Joe Rogan?

  For the last episode. And just have it the most violent, most ridiculous.

• 1:34:25Joe Rogan?

  And see how people deal with it. Like, bro, this is exactly what we've been showing you for forty years.

• 1:34:31Speaker 02

  That will be, uh, hit.

• 1:34:33Joe Rogan?

  They wouldn't be allowed to.

• 1:34:34Speaker 02

  Coffee?

• 1:34:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, have some, big daddy.

• 1:34:36Speaker 02

  I like coffee. Oh, thanks. Thank you.

• 1:34:42Joe Rogan?

  Cheers, sir.

• 1:34:42Speaker 02

  All right, cheers to you. Bam, bam, thank you for having me.

• 1:34:45Joe Rogan?

  My pleasure. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Chiltony too, that's gonna be really fun.

• 1:34:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fun, I, you know, last time I done, I, my last time, I did it once.

• 1:34:55Joe Rogan?

  This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of fee-free ATMs. But here's the real kicker. If you get their Chime card, it gives you 5% cash back on a category you actually pick yourself. Your savings rate, crazy high. It's nine times the national average. They're calling it the most rewarding way to bank. Go to chime.com/rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up.

• 1:35:40Joe Rogan?

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for more details. This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep. There are so many people out there who swear by the Pod by Eight Sleep, the smart mattress cover that goes on your existing mattress. But if you've been on the fence, now's the time to get on board. Why? Because they've just released Pod 6. I'm gonna make it real simple for you. Here are the Pod 6 headline upgrades. It's a 50% smaller hub, so it'll fit under most bed frames.

• 1:36:20Joe Rogan?

  It features 20% faster temperature relief with nine times more biometric sensors in the cover. It starts at just $1,999, the lowest starting price Eight Sleep has ever offered. And if that's not enough, this Pod cools each side of the bed independently from 55 to 110 degrees Fahrenheit. Use code ROGEN at eightsleep.com/rogan for up to $200 off the Pod 6. Did you do it at the club or did you do it at a big place?

• 1:36:53Speaker 02

  At the club.

• 1:36:54Joe Rogan?

  At the club? Nice.

• 1:36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. It was fun and it was loud and intimate and it was just, you know, I told them before I did, I said, "I'm not into..."

• 1:37:04Speaker 02

  Critiquing people, because I've been shit on my whole career. I don't want to, I don't want to tell these comics what they're doing right or wrong. Coming from me, really. He said, "No, no, no, that's not how it works. You just play, you just be you, just be yourself." And it was great. Because I could just, you know, if there was something specific that I thought was kind of wrong or off, I could say it in a very nice way. But most of them were, they're good. These guys come out, they got their minutes, they pop them out. You know, of course, you'd see a couple, you know, the first 10 seconds in, you're like, okay. It's already not funny, you know, or they're, or they're just so nervous. You can see the mic shaking, you know.

• 1:37:43Speaker 02

  But did someone have really quality written jokes?

• 1:37:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. There's a lot of funny people out there. And there's also, because of Kill Tony, people realize that if they can put together a minute, it can change their whole fucking life.

• 1:37:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:37:56Joe Rogan?

  Your whole fucking life. Look at Cam Patterson, just got on Saturday Night Live.

• 1:38:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:38:01Joe Rogan?

  I mean, look at these guys. They're killing it. William Montgomery's killing it, you know.

• 1:38:07Speaker 02

  There was a couple there out that night that, they were really good.

• 1:38:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:10Speaker 02

  And I think Tony tapped me on to the chair at one point, his next guy, you know. He came out and I was like, holy shit, he was solid.

• 1:38:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Ari Matty's killing it.

• 1:38:20Speaker 02

  You know, already polished.

• 1:38:20Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of these guys that do that show. They do one minute, and then they go, "We'd love to have you back." And then they come back, they do another minute, the crowd remembers them from the old show. All of a sudden, they have like 25,000 Instagram followers, then it's 100, then it's 150, like these things start rolling, it's like, oh, you have a real pathway. If you work hard, if you really fucking focus and really, just really dial it in, really work on your material, really work, do as many sets around town as you can. You might be able to do this for a living. And if you can, it's the greatest fucking job in the world.

• 1:38:54Speaker 02

  There's already a couple that I've been watching. They are, they're...

• 1:38:57Joe Rogan?

  There's more now than ever before. It used to be, it was like, there was a bunch of like, bad people, and every now and then, someone would come on with a promise. Now, it seems to me to be more slanted towards people that are good.

• 1:39:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:08Joe Rogan?

  It's like a high level, or a high percentage, rather, of people that are pretty good.

• 1:39:11Speaker 02

  The night that I was there, they were really good.

• 1:39:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. A lot of them really good. And it's, again, there's a pathway.

• 1:39:17Speaker 02

  There was one that came out and I said, and it was kind of funny how he, the microphone was up high because the guy before him was like 6'5" or some... This guy comes out, he's like four feet. So, it's already funny, cause they bring him out. And he, he goes to grab the mic and he just, he takes it and puts it behind him and takes the mic and goes into his bed. And I'm like, so it got all done, he said, um, he's, I said, "That was great." I said, "The only thing I would have done in the beginning, you already had a laugh." The microphone was, you know, so, reference it, at least reference it, don't, you know, to do a thing." He said, he goes, "Yeah, well, that'd be a prop." And I said, "No, it's already a fucking prop."

• 1:40:02Speaker 02

  It's not, you didn't bring it, you didn't make it, it's there, it's a prop that's usable. Every comic uses it for the, you know, everything, from a guitar to-

• 1:40:09Joe Rogan?

  Right, sure.

• 1:40:11Speaker 02

  -change on the beach, every comic is down there, everybody. So I said, "No, no, no, you don't have to make a prop joke." I said, "Just reference it, you should at least reference it, like, like, this is already not going well, you know, something." And, cause the crowd was waiting for something and he didn't do it. And then after the show, he said, "I'm gonna use that, that's good." I said, "Well, you have to follow a tall guy every time for it to work."

• 1:40:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, don't say, "Set the microphone really high for my first joke."

• 1:40:38Speaker 02

  That's what I said. It only worked because it was improbable, it happened.

• 1:40:42Joe Rogan?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:40:43Speaker 02

  And then he goes, and I told him that, I said, "You don't, don't do it unless it happens, you don't want to have it set that way, right, and it's dumb."

• 1:40:48Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think for some people, they don't know how to start, you know, and they're doing something like that and it's the-

• 1:40:53Speaker 02

  Well, the starting is hard for every, I mean-

• 1:40:55Joe Rogan?

  It's not just that, it's like this overwhelming anxiety, you have one minute and you can't believe you're on a stage in front of this, like, a lot of them, it's their first show. Some of them, first show, Madison Square Garden.

• 1:41:05Speaker 02

  Oh, Jesus, yeah.

• 1:41:07Joe Rogan?

  Imagine, first time on stage, Madison Square Garden, and you're bombing, 16,000 people.

• 1:41:13Speaker 02

  So they do, they do that same format with Madison Square Garden?

• 1:41:16Joe Rogan?

  Uh huh, and it's 100% random. People have tried to get people on and Tony won't do it. He's like, "No, no, no, that's not how it works, no." What we do is, we, everybody just signs up and I reach into that bucket and I pull out names. And you can't rig it. You can't rig it.

• 1:41:34Speaker 02

  Well, I knew that part of it, but I didn't know they did it in Madison Square Garden.

• 1:41:37Joe Rogan?

  They do it that way everywhere in Madison Square. Well, one thing they do in Madison Square Garden is they have like a Legends Bucket. So they have a bunch of people backstage like Jim Norton, you know, Big Jay Okerson. A lot of people did it when I was there. David Tell. And then they'll pull it out and then David Tell will come up and do a minute of stand up and everybody goes crazy. Or do five minutes or whatever. But he, he makes it so that even if someone is terrible for the first time, it's only a minute. And then you have Shane Gillis and whoever else is next to him making fun of it for, you know, the next fifteen, twenty minutes. It's gonna be fucking hilarious. And it's also, you get to see like, oh, this is a crazy thing to do.

• 1:42:18Joe Rogan?

  Like this, this idea, you're just gonna stand up in front of people and talk and hopefully it'll be entertaining.

• 1:42:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:25Joe Rogan?

  And sometimes it just goes horribly wrong. And everybody's like boo.

• 1:42:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh god. Yeah, I know. Not I was there, everyone was pretty cordial, but, but I could see it going.

• 1:42:38Joe Rogan?

  Well, those New Yorkers don't fuck around, man. If you start, you start bombing a little bit, they smell blood.

• 1:42:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, no. I did, I did a, my very first time ever in New York City was at Catcher Rising Star. It was, you know, old, old, old school club. I go there and I had, it was like, it was pouring down rain or snowing, sleety snow rain. I remember I took my trunk in a taxi and I, I've never been to New York City in a club. And I go in, there's like eight people. And, oh fuck. And so the guy's like, you know, what do you, bring me up? And I, I wheel my shit up. I go, it's not even bombing, it's worse than bombing. It's just like, never have, nothing from a laugh, nothing.

• 1:43:22Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:43:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I'm doing like my A shit, you know, literally. I promise you, my god. I mean, I've got like, you know, the ice tray with the level so you don't put, you know, and it kills everywhere, you know, nothing, fucking nothing. And I just go, alright, um. I think my opening line was I have more props than people, which I did. So that got a little up, but not even, right? I said, gee, I've got more props than fucking people here. Nothing. I get done. I didn't even know what to do. I'm shaking so bad. And they said, just, just, just, there was no comic. So I just went, alright, enjoy the next comic. And I put, I had my own mic on a thing, because I had to. Anyway. I'm like, just tearful, walking. I was gonna leave this shit. I'm gonna get out of business, right?

• 1:44:07Speaker 02

  Am I gonna go into comedy? This guy walks by, he goes, uh, he goes, um, no. Leave your shit there, it's good. And he goes up, and he, like you said, murders, you know, just absolutely murders. Eight people. It was like a stadium of people laughing. And I'm like, watching this, I'm like, holy fuck. It was Dennis Leary.

• 1:44:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:44:30Speaker 02

  And he, I mean, leveled eight people. I couldn't believe it. And I walked off, and he, we walked off, and he said, um, hey, man. I said, I was unbelievable. He goes, no, that shit, fuck, your shit's fucking amazing. The thing with the, he was serious. He said that, whatever, the cowboy boot with the kickstand, fuck, that's great, whatever it was I was doing. And I'm like, was he like, fucking with me? Because I ate shit, and he was, no. But I've never gotten to tell him that again. If Dennis Leary watches this show, that was the most coolest thing a comic ever did to me. Just gave me a big hug, said, you were fucking great. They, that crowd sucked. I said, the crowd didn't suck, you just murdered them. They didn't like me.

• 1:45:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's a small sample group.

• 1:45:16Speaker 02

  He said, you were great, you were great.

• 1:45:17Joe Rogan?

  Eight people, you're bombing in front of eight people. It's pretty easy to bomb in front of eight people.

• 1:45:21Speaker 02

  It was horrible.

• 1:45:22Joe Rogan?

  It happens. That was one of the great things about the store, is that you would get those eight people crowd sometimes. The early days of the store, you would go up, you know, if you got like an 11:30 spot on a Tuesday night, you might go up in front of eight people. That can happen.

• 1:45:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:34Joe Rogan?

  Because you probably won't really get on at 11:30, because a bunch of people stop in and do sets. So by the time you get up, it's probably like, closer to one.

• 1:45:43Speaker 02

  I've been there.

• 1:45:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but those shows show you what's bullshit. They show you, there's something about a small crowd shows you what, what you're saying is nonsense. You know, like, sometimes you have to like, figure it out. You have to, and the brutal thing about comedy is you kind of really have to figure it out in front of people with the openness of failing, right? Like, here's the thing. It's like, one of the things about jujitsu, when you learn jujitsu, it's really important to not be afraid to tap. Because if you can just open your game up and not be afraid to tap, and tap, you can learn more.

• 1:46:21Joe Rogan?

  Because you, you don't do it tense, and you do it more playfully, and it doesn't mean as much to you when you get tapped. It sounds totally counterintuitive. But if you can just relax and not use your ego, not try to win every session, just try to figure out why you're getting caught and figure out how to avoid it and... But, but don't be worried about tapping. Just tap. Tap whenever you get caught. And then just let your ego deal with it, and then learn and move on. But you have to experience that. You have to get tapped. You have to get dominated. Like, you have to figure out like, what's good and what's bad. And I think that's the same thing, kind of, there's an element of that in comedy, too. You gotta like, possibly fail with this idea.

• 1:47:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:47:06Joe Rogan?

  Like, I'm gonna throw this out, I have, this is half-cooked. This is a half, this is a weird idea that I have. I'm like, am I crazy? Like, do you think, is this where we're going as a society? Is this where we're going as human beings? And there's something there, and I'm trying to find it.

• 1:47:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:47:23Joe Rogan?

  But I gotta risk not finding it. That's the only way you find it. Because there's writing on stage that you only get... You, there's certain lines that only come to you when you're willing to step out on stage. But you gotta, you might fucking bomb. You might eat shit. You might have to transfer out of that. Like, it's like, you have to, it's a balancing act. You might, this bit might not work at all, and then you might have to immediately figure out how to segue into something guaranteed so you can get it back.

• 1:47:51Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. I do the same, absolutely. But I, I, all my shit I think is full-cooked. I think I'm out there, this is good, this has been marinating for a while. And then I'm gonna eat shit. You're like, fuck. That was a good bit, damn it.

• 1:48:05Joe Rogan?

  For me, it's...

• 1:48:06Speaker 02

  Or one night it works right, and then the next night, I just did a joke last night that killed the night before, nothing, crickets. I'm like... What was the same?

• 1:48:13Joe Rogan?

  Do you say it the same way? Do you record yourself?

• 1:48:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I never listen to it though.

• 1:48:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but that's the, that's the thing, man.

• 1:48:19Speaker 02

  I said it a little differently.

• 1:48:21Joe Rogan?

  I fucked up before, what I didn't realize I fucked up and I said something wrong and I didn't realize I said it wrong until I listened to the recording, I'm like, oh, I couldn't. Cause I'll fuck words up sometimes.

• 1:48:30Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:48:31Joe Rogan?

  And just like, I do, I talk too much. You know, I really do. I talk way, way too much. So my brain is just like on autopilot talking sometimes and.

• 1:48:40Speaker 02

  Well, I know it's different if I, if I don't say it right. I'm saying if I say it the same, one night it gets a great laugh, some next I didn't. I'm like, I don't, I didn't do anything differently.

• 1:48:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but I mean, that's what I'm saying is like, you, you, you gotta listen to it. You gotta listen to it to, to really hear. Cause there's a lot of times where you'll say something just slightly different and that slightly different makes all the fucking.

• 1:49:02Speaker 02

  Well, but then I had one, this is one last, it's a brand new joke. There's a big billboard in Vegas and it's for the Sahara Pool. And it's got this beautiful woman on it, this big, beautiful hot chick, and it says, meet me at the pool. So I put it up on the big screen. I said, this is my favorite billboard. Look at this. Look at, meet me at the pool, this hot girl. And I said, then you get there and it changes to a big gay pool party, but it's like 75,000 dudes and it's just a great picture. So I did it last night. Got a laugh, but not like, it should have gotten more, cause it's like, then you get there and you're like, Ava? Is anyone, Ava, have you seen, you know, she was here earlier. She's probably buried under all that cock or something.

• 1:49:42Speaker 02

  Last night, it, it just killed. I mean, almost for a minute, they're still laughing and applauding. I'm like, I did, I didn't do anything different. It was just the mood of that audience.

• 1:49:52Joe Rogan?

  That does happen too. Maybe it was like you were doing better before that, so you had more momentum?

• 1:49:57Speaker 02

  Oh, maybe.

• 1:49:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, sometimes that.

• 1:49:59Speaker 02

  I never, I'm, I'm just, I don't have any momentum.

• 1:50:01Joe Rogan?

  He has some of them. Shut the fuck up. I've seen your show. Your show in Luxor was really fun. I saw it, God, it's been, it's been a few years. I gotta check it, check it out now, but I've had a bunch of my friends come to Vegas and see your show. It's very fun.

• 1:50:14Speaker 02

  It's fun. Thank you. On Tuesdays, I do it in Spanish. It's actually.

• 1:50:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh, do you really? You speak Spanish? How dare you, son of a bitch.

• 1:50:20Speaker 02

  Wouldn't be great though to do a, top Tuesday night is Spanish night. They come like, hey, ¿qué es el audio?

• 1:50:25Joe Rogan?

  Tom Segura, who looks totally white, speaks fluent Spanish and does stand up in Spanish.

• 1:50:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:50:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so he'll, he'll do like a little tour.

• 1:50:33Speaker 02

  I'm gonna see him.

• 1:50:34Joe Rogan?

  How many dates did he do where he did, um, you gonna do your mom's house?

• 1:50:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:38Joe Rogan?

  Do his podcast? Or two bears, one cave. What's 20 doing?

• 1:50:41Speaker 02

  I'm doing with his wife.

• 1:50:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh, oh, yeah, that's your mom's house.

• 1:50:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:47Joe Rogan?

  They're both real fun.

• 1:50:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:48Joe Rogan?

  Bert is, Bert's a great example. Like this, Bert's a great example of what we were talking about. One time we were at the improv and Bert did this joke, this new joke. The first set, it fucking killed. And the second set, it didn't do nearly as well, and he was confused. And I had seen both sets. And I said, oh, no, it's because in the first set, you said, like, he was at the, excuse me, he was at the supermarket.

• 1:51:15Joe Rogan?

  I know this is already on a special or something. I wouldn't say it. It was like, he was at the supermarket. And, uh, he was standing there talking to his wife. He's like, God, it's so cold in here. And she looks at him and she goes, you are so fat. And he's like, what? She goes, your dick is hanging out. Like, he didn't realize that his fly was open. His week, he goes raw dog everywhere. He goes raw dog. He's got no underwear on and his zipper's undone. It's like, but the joke was, the way it was, like, she had said it that way.

• 1:51:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:51:49Joe Rogan?

  Like, you are so fat. Like, she's like, you can't see your dick. So, like, the first show, he nailed it. He nailed the cadence. But the second show, like, something was off and he forgot to say one part of it. And I had remembered it from the first show. Like, it's weird, you know, you gotta listen. You gotta listen because it's painful. You hate listening to your own voice. It's gross. You, you already know the jokes. You're like, shut up already. Shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of listening to you talk. But you have to listen to it because if you don't, you're not gonna, like, you're not gonna figure out how to do it the best way you can.

• 1:52:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:52:22Joe Rogan?

  I think.

• 1:52:23Speaker 02

  No, I think that's a great, I just.

• 1:52:25Joe Rogan?

  But there's a lot of people funnier than me that don't do it that way.

• 1:52:27Speaker 02

  I rarely ever wanna see my, myself again, um.

• 1:52:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Everybody's got their own process.

• 1:52:32Speaker 02

  Now, you know, this whole.

• 1:52:33Joe Rogan?

  I know some guys who are really funny that don't record any of their shows and they don't write at all. They just go up a lot and they have ideas and they work them out on stage. And they're really, really funny.

• 1:52:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I, I'm kind of in that with my, with more of my stand-up than the prop shit I build. But the stand-up, I kind of just, I have like a little bullet point. I don't write it out.

• 1:52:54Joe Rogan?

  When you do prop stuff, like, how do you even come up with ideas? Like, what do you, do you, do you like sit down with like a whiteboard and go, what can we do with?

• 1:53:03Speaker 02

  No, I never have written, um, I've never sat down and said, I'm gonna write today.

• 1:53:09Joe Rogan?

  So how do the gags like come to you?

• 1:53:10Speaker 02

  Um, they come just like, a lot of, like, a lot of them happen by just, uh, in a conversation or a story or something. Um, sometimes I'll see a prop and I'll, or a prop, meaning, it's not a prop yet, it's just a thing. A toilet seat. Or I'll see a thing and I'll go, there's something funny about that, you know? And I think about it. And then I go, oh. There was, I was at a Home Depot. I mean, I made this like yesterday. I haven't even done it. I've never even tried this yet. I'm gonna do it on Tony tonight. I've never done it, ever, but I think it's funny. Guys get drunk and they punch walls all the time, right? Cause my friend, I had a friend backstage. I said, what happened to your hand? He's like, oh, yeah, fuck. I said, what'd you do?

• 1:53:54Speaker 02

  He's like, mm, I punched a wall. I said, you punched a wall? I'm like, who the fuck? And I just thought, I said, you, I thought this should be a stud finder, like, cause he hit, he had a stud. So I said, this should be a beer with a stud finder. So you can find it right before you're drunk. You fucking bitch. And you, yeah. So I made it. So it, it looks incredible, but it's, it's so, it's so silly, but it's, it's, it will be a crowd pleaser. Cause it goes beep, beep, beep. And you fucking bitch, you, wait, I'm fucking, uh.

• 1:54:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, if you have a long spot, you can fuck your hand up.

• 1:54:29Speaker 02

  But so that, sometimes it's that way. Sometimes I just, uh, it'll come to me. I don't know. I had a... I was watching a cartoon, I think, years ago, and there was these paper cups and string, and a telephone, and they were in a tree. "Hey, Suzie," and she'd go, "What's going on, Bobby?" And I'm watching it, and I'm like, "This is an old version of the cups. We need a new version," right? Because that's just two cups. So I said, "We have to have another cup that comes out for call waiting." And it was like, that was my free bird. I mean, I did that, I came up with, it was my closing bit, you know? I'd hold someone in the front row, "What's your name?" And they'd go, "Hey." And I'd say, "You seem so close," you know, the strings, and she's holding it. And, "What's your name?"

• 1:55:14Speaker 02

  And she'd say her name, and I'd say, "Hold on, I have another call." "Hello?" "I gotta call you back." I'm talking to whoever she was, Tracy. And it would just murder, because no one would expect a call waiting to come out. But it was, you know, right when call waiting came out.

• 1:55:25Joe Rogan?

  So you had a second cup?

• 1:55:26Speaker 02

  And then I had three cups for conference calling that came out of that. So it was like boom, boom, conference calling. Then I'd throw it, I'd say, "Call forwarding," and I'd throw it. And then I had a clear cup that was for caller ID. I'd say, "I know you're there, pick up, I can see you." So it was like, it was like a bam bam bam bam, you know? Really good prop that turned into like a, like a routine.

• 1:55:48Joe Rogan?

  It would be funny if you tried to say those things today. People would be like, "What?"

• 1:55:51Speaker 02

  No, no, no, that's like...

• 1:55:52Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that weird?

• 1:55:53Speaker 02

  No, that's a...

• 1:55:54Joe Rogan?

  It's not that long ago.

• 1:55:55Speaker 02

  That's a carrot classic, I call them, ones that are like, you know? I do, I do things sometimes in the show where I do carrot classics.

• 1:56:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:02Speaker 02

  I say, "This is the stuff for people that grew up with me in the 90s. This is, you'll remember some of these." And I do like the ice tray, it has a level, and it's great. The biggest laugh comes when I go, half the crowd doesn't know what a fucking ice tray is. I mean, that gets the biggest laugh, because no one has an ice tray. But the thing's still funny. They're like, "Oh, that's, I get, that's clever."

• 1:56:20Joe Rogan?

  Don't people still have ice trays?

• 1:56:22Speaker 02

  Well, if you live in a, yeah, if you live in like a trailer.

• 1:56:25Joe Rogan?

  No, regular houses have ice trays. Yeah, where you pour water into the trays.

• 1:56:29Speaker 02

  Well, they might have new ones now with the big cube ones.

• 1:56:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, if you don't want an ice machine in your freezer thing, you can just...

• 1:56:36Speaker 02

  So maybe that joke's still relevant.

• 1:56:38Joe Rogan?

  I think it's normal. I think it's, I have fucking ice trays.

• 1:56:40Speaker 02

  I have ice trays, too.

• 1:56:41Joe Rogan?

  I use them sometimes, I think.

• 1:56:44Speaker 02

  But see, when you're gonna, when you go and put it back in, you gotta leave it.

• 1:56:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. But there's certain things that people just like pagers, make a pager joke today, like what?

• 1:56:53Speaker 02

  That's great, yeah.

• 1:56:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I mean, I remember when I, technological jokes, like if you think about like jokes about technology, when you date them, it's so weird. I used to have a joke about texting. I'm like, why are you making me read? I'm like, call me, you're on a phone, it's the best way to communicate. Call me. Like, why are you making me fucking read? This is so weird. I'm like, it takes you four presses to get an S. Cause that was back when people would send you a text message on a dial phone.

• 1:57:17Speaker 02

  Right, which you had, yeah.

• 1:57:18Joe Rogan?

  I know, a flip phone, rather.

• 1:57:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, where you had to make a seven upside down and a pager, hello?

• 1:57:22Joe Rogan?

  It was the most annoying people that would want to text.

• 1:57:24Speaker 02

  That's so great. Why are you making, why are we doing this?

• 1:57:27Joe Rogan?

  This is so dumb. And I would just call them back. You couldn't text Joey Diaz, he would yell at you. He would fucking, he'll text you now, but dude, for like seven, eight years, Joey would fucking yell at you. Joey was the last one to get a cellphone. He had a pager.

• 1:57:40Speaker 02

  I was the last one to get a phone, too. I didn't get one.

• 1:57:42Joe Rogan?

  Joey had a pager until like the year 2000.

• 1:57:45Speaker 02

  That's great. I was a little more than that.

• 1:57:48Joe Rogan?

  He fucking kept that pager forever, man. And you'd have to, you'd have to call his fucking pager.

• 1:57:55Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 1:57:56Joe Rogan?

  He was a wild boy. He was fun. He was just such a fun dude. But if you call, if you did not call him, he would get angry. He goes, I'm insecure, I wanna hear your fucking voice, cock sucker. Why are you fucking leaving text messages? Making me fucking text you like a little girl, what are you doing? Him and Red Band would get into it, cause Red Band loves texting. So Red Band was like one of the first guys to text. He'd text you back in the doo doo doo doo doo days. You know, when you have to press it four times to get an S. And then I remember people got those, those sidekicks. You remember, you're the coolest, you have a sidekick, he's got a keyboard. Remember that? And some of their sidekicks got hacked, right? Didn't like, uh, Paris Hilton again, didn't some cooter pictures pop up?

• 1:58:39Joe Rogan?

  Because her sidekick got hacked? Something along those lines?

• 1:58:42Speaker 02

  Something like that, it was something, it was probably from that.

• 1:58:45Joe Rogan?

  Or something happened where people like stole their sidekicks and got, something happened. Wasn't there something about that? Some sort of a privacy concern with the sidekicks back in the day?

• 1:58:57Speaker 05

  There's a group that claimed they're broken hairs or sidekick, yeah.

• 1:59:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's also, there was like strategic releases of stuff back then, like when they would accidentally have a photographer looking at their vagina as they get out of a car. Like, you don't notice that photographer on his knees with a camera pointing up? That's so crazy. Nobody has a camera pointing up?

• 1:59:21Speaker 02

  So weird.

• 1:59:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like, come on. That guy would go to jail. That's probably illegal.

• 1:59:27Speaker 02

  Probably illegal.

• 1:59:29Joe Rogan?

  And meanwhile, you don't have any underwear on? That seems crazy. Like, why, why do they have pictures of your pussy on the internet on purpose? Did you do that on purpose? You did, but it's really, it's smart.

• 1:59:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:59:39Joe Rogan?

  I mean, if you wanna market yourself and just get more popular, so more people know your name, it worked.

• 1:59:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:59:46Joe Rogan?

  We're talking about them right now.

• 1:59:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:59:47Joe Rogan?

  But that was like a brief moment. People don't remember Pussy Gate. Cause there was a time where these, uh, high-level celebrity-type people were accidentally showing their pussy.

• 1:59:57Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:59:58Joe Rogan?

  Whoopsies. Here's my pussy. It's just out there in the breeze, just nothing but a curtain.

• 2:00:04Speaker 02

  That's so weird.

• 2:00:05Joe Rogan?

  Over raw pussy. Out there in the wild. At clubs, at fucking award shows. Wild pussy.

• 2:00:14Speaker 02

  Now, see, I said, now, see, I never say that word on stage, ever.

• 2:00:17Joe Rogan?

  Pussy?

• 2:00:18Speaker 02

  Yo.

• 2:00:18Joe Rogan?

  Because of Prince? Out of respect?

• 2:00:20Speaker 02

  Because of respect for Prince.

• 2:00:25Speaker 02

  No, I just never have, and I, I think it was last night? No, not last night, night for last. I don't know what, it was, the crowd was just, I don't know, they were crazy. And I don't know, someone yelled something out, and I, I said, well, wait, I got, no, I said, I'm gonna just do, I did a horrible pro, it was a, it was a Bud Light bottle. You know, like one of those metal ones.

• 2:00:47Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:00:48Speaker 02

  And I had these, these legs put on it like that. I said, and it's hilarious looking. I said, I made a Bud Light so guys will drink it again. You know, it's just, and, and the guys, the guy was like, someone yelled out, I don't get it. I said, it's pussy. Like, how do you not get the joke? It's two legs spread. The beer goes like this, and the legs go. I said, see, you're eating pussy. And it was just like, the crowd was like, a caratop can't say pussy? Like, what? They just didn't, I said, "No, it's okay." I said, "Put, no, no, no."

• 2:01:17Joe Rogan?

  Are there kids in the crowd?

• 2:01:18Speaker 02

  And don't say it again, no, no, no.

• 2:01:20Joe Rogan?

  Don't say it again?

• 2:01:20Speaker 02

  No, they could, I said, "No, don't, no, no." They're thinking, "Don't say it again." I said, "No, pussy, you can say it." I said, "Now that I've said that, though, we've topped it." I mean, right, you can't top, once you say pussy, you can't top it. So they're like, oh, they laughed. I'm like, you know, now fucks nothing. I said, "Pussy, so we've reached the plateau of raunchy at the show, Carrot Top Show." Because, yeah, it's more silly. I mean, there's an edge, there's an edge to it.

• 2:01:44Joe Rogan?

  But you swear whenever you feel like it.

• 2:01:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01:46Joe Rogan?

  You just don't need to.

• 2:01:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't need to. But I do it for some parts of that. I don't need to, no. But I never say pussy.

• 2:01:53Joe Rogan?

  Fun. Swearing's fun. People that don't want you to swear, that, that always makes me, that was like the Bill Cosby thing. He was always angry at people swearing.

• 2:02:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember that. Richard, Richard, oh, yeah.

• 2:02:03Joe Rogan?

  Eddie Murphy?

• 2:02:03Speaker 02

  Eddie Murphy. That was so great.

• 2:02:04Joe Rogan?

  That's one of the greatest bits.

• 2:02:05Speaker 02

  He says, "Look, great."

• 2:02:06Joe Rogan?

  Do the people laugh?

• 2:02:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:08Joe Rogan?

  Do you get paid? Tell Bill to have a coconut smile and shut the fuck up.

• 2:02:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's great.

• 2:02:13Joe Rogan?

  Because you could hear it in Pryor's voice.

• 2:02:15Speaker 02

  No, yeah, great. That's, yeah. He, he brilliant, right? Rick Pryor.

• 2:02:20Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God.

• 2:02:20Speaker 02

  Just brilliant.

• 2:02:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God. My parents took me to see him live in the Sunset Strip when it was in the movie theater. I was like 15, 16 years old.

• 2:02:28Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 2:02:28Joe Rogan?

  It was incredible. I couldn't believe how funny it was. I will never forget this. It was the first moment where I realized like what stand-up can do. Because this guy was on stage and just talking, it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my life. Ever.

• 2:02:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:45Joe Rogan?

  I thought about all the movies that I had seen that were really funny movies and I was like, "There's nothing that's this funny." And this guy's just talking.

• 2:02:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:52Joe Rogan?

  I was looking around the theater. I'll never forget this, man. And there was people just going like this, just throwing their body up and down while they're laughing, holding their body, like, "Oh, my God."

• 2:03:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:03:04Joe Rogan?

  "Oh, my God." Just dying, laughing. I was like, "This is incredible. He's just talking." It's incredible how funny this is.

• 2:03:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was, that's a groundbreaking special.

• 2:03:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and when you're 15, you're like, "No way! This is insane."

• 2:03:19Speaker 02

  And you're right. And seeing people, like you said, physically laughing like that.

• 2:03:22Joe Rogan?

  Dying, falling down, dying.

• 2:03:24Speaker 02

  You don't see that often.

• 2:03:24Joe Rogan?

  Dying, like they couldn't handle it, like they couldn't breathe.

• 2:03:27Speaker 02

  I did, I opened for Steve Harvey one time in Birmingham, Alabama. And I get there, I set up all my stuff and I'd never met him. This is years and years ago. I had like a trunk, you know? I didn't have, I had like 30 props and...

• 2:03:43Speaker 02

  A third of them are really good, you know, I've kind of just opened to. I get there and I do, I do the first thing and he, oh, and Steve says to me, you know, you ever worked a black crowd? I was like, no, I mean, like, all black crowd. I said, no. I'm just performing in front of black people. He says, no, no, all black crowd. I said, well, it'll be all black. He said, oh, yeah, all black crowd. I didn't know. They would go one way or the other. He just said,

• 2:04:12Speaker 02

  if they stand up and they start going like, they're not leaving, they're standing up. For, when they laugh. I was like, anyway, I go out there and I, I do okay for a bit and then I did one, I don't know what it was, but they all got up and they were like, it looked like they were leaving, but they were, that's, that's how they, they were, like you said, they were just rejoicing and they're like, ah, and I just, I never, I couldn't believe it. And I, I came off and he's like, nice, nice set. And I'm like, that was so much fun. They were so into the show. And I said, I don't know how he's gonna follow that, because I did really, sort of got, I did really good.

• 2:04:49Joe Rogan?

  His crowd.

• 2:04:49Speaker 02

  I really did good. I, I thought to myself, he, he's not gonna, you know, that fucker, that guy, you know, well, Steve is.

• 2:04:57Joe Rogan?

  Sure.

• 2:04:58Speaker 02

  I know it was his crowd, but paint was peeling off the club. It was so loud. It was so piercing loud in there. And that's another again, I thought, I'm not in comedy. Whatever I'm in, I'm not in that.

• 2:05:11Joe Rogan?

  When he did Kings of Comedy with Bernie Mac, that was like Bernie Mac in his prime.

• 2:05:16Speaker 02

  Bernie Mac, brilliant.

• 2:05:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 2:05:18Speaker 02

  Love Bernie Mac.

• 2:05:18Joe Rogan?

  Bernie Mac was so funny. He was so powerful on stage. Just like, sometimes you see someone performing, it's like, whoa.

• 2:05:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, everything, his eyes alone, just, his punchlines.

• 2:05:28Joe Rogan?

  Charisma, just pop.

• 2:05:30Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:05:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, pop. He just was funny. There's some dudes that just know how to, just to hit it just right.

• 2:05:36Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:05:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:05:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was that way.

• 2:05:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. He was so funny. I mean, that whole era tour, it's kind of interesting that no one's done that since, right? There's been like the Kings of Comedy and then there's Blue Collar.

• 2:05:48Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:05:48Joe Rogan?

  There haven't been really a lot of those movie tours like that.

• 2:05:53Speaker 02

  There hasn't been.

• 2:05:54Joe Rogan?

  Because they were tours and then they made films.

• 2:05:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:05:57Joe Rogan?

  Right? Kings of Comedy, how many films did they make? They made at least one, right?

• 2:06:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:06:01Joe Rogan?

  How many?

• 2:06:02Speaker 02

  Kings of Comedy.

• 2:06:03Joe Rogan?

  Comedy specials did Kings of Comedy make?

• 2:06:06Joe Rogan?

  So then, Blue Collar did a couple, right? Two or, how many did they do?

• 2:06:11Speaker 02

  Oh, you mean actual specials, yeah, but they toured like crazy.

• 2:06:14Joe Rogan?

  They toured like crazy. But they did specials. And, um, they all went on to tour too.

• 2:06:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:06:20Joe Rogan?

  But, there hasn't been like, one like that.

• 2:06:24Speaker 02

  There hasn't been, you're right.

• 2:06:25Joe Rogan?

  No. Interesting. It's funny. But it's also like, everybody's already touring. This is like, there's more people doing arenas now than I think have ever, ever.

• 2:06:35Speaker 02

  I mean, it's unbelievable.

• 2:06:37Joe Rogan?

  It's weird. It's, but it's what we're talking about.

• 2:06:40Speaker 02

  Joe Coy came to my show about a month ago.

• 2:06:43Joe Rogan?

  Joe Coy's killing it. He's always doing these gigantic places.

• 2:06:46Speaker 02

  He just said to me, um, he was just backstage with his family. And he said, um, just casually, he said, he said, "What are you do- what are you doing on, you know, February or something?" I said, "Mama, I'm probably working." He goes, "Ah, I was gonna have you come to SoFi." Cause I'm like, "Oh, what's going on at SoFi?" He's like, "Me." Fuck.

• 2:07:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:07Speaker 02

  I said, "You? What are you going there for?" He's like, "Me, like to perform." I just, it just blew me away. I'm like, "You're playing SoFi?"

• 2:07:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's been doing arenas for years.

• 2:07:16Speaker 02

  It's already sold out.

• 2:07:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:18Speaker 02

  I'm like, and he's so casual, like, "Yeah, come to SoFi." Like he's gonna go see the Stones. He's like, "No, I'm going to see me." I mean, fuck.

• 2:07:26Joe Rogan?

  Nate Bargatze's another one like that. He's doing arenas everywhere. And he's just super normal, casual.

• 2:07:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:34Joe Rogan?

  Hang out with them.

• 2:07:34Speaker 05

  Stadium. Football stadium.

• 2:07:36Joe Rogan?

  Which ones do the football stadium?

• 2:07:38Speaker 05

  Joe Coy and Gabriel.

• 2:07:39Speaker 02

  Damn, yeah.

• 2:07:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's a great one-two combination.

• 2:07:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:43Joe Rogan?

  That's a great one-two. Yeah, you can't go wrong. Fluffy does LA by himself, right? Doesn't he do the Dodger Stadium by himself? Yeah, so.

• 2:07:51Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 2:07:52Joe Rogan?

  Insane, yeah. Fluffy is a giant following. I remember when we were at the Ice House, he had the record for the most amount of shows sold out in a row. And like, they had a plaque on the wall. There, look at these guys. Holy shit. SoFi Stadium. God damn.

• 2:08:08Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 2:08:09Joe Rogan?

  That's nuts. Yeah, man, they're killing it.

• 2:08:12Speaker 02

  I'll be playing you crackers on, uh...

• 2:08:14Joe Rogan?

  There's Shane Gillis is killing it like that. Tony's killing it like that. It's pretty...

• 2:08:18Speaker 05

  He just did the Notre Dame Stadium last night.

• 2:08:19Speaker 02

  Shane did? Who did?

• 2:08:21Speaker 05

  Shane opened up for Zach Ryan at Notre Dame Stadium.

• 2:08:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god. Oh my god. That's incredible. That's incredible. Holy shit. Woo, it's a fun time, fun time for comedy. Bert's doing giant places, Segura's doing giant places. It's really wild, it's wild to see.

• 2:08:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm gonna meet him on Monday.

• 2:08:43Joe Rogan?

  Who, which one?

• 2:08:43Speaker 02

  Tuesday.

• 2:08:44Joe Rogan?

  Which one?

• 2:08:45Speaker 02

  Tom.

• 2:08:45Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you never met him?

• 2:08:46Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 2:08:47Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 2:08:48Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 2:08:48Joe Rogan?

  You'll love him, he's great.

• 2:08:50Speaker 02

  I don't know if I'd think I'd met him or not, I don't know, but.

• 2:08:51Joe Rogan?

  He's like a hundred and eighty-seven pounds now.

• 2:08:54Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 2:08:55Joe Rogan?

  Dude, he was at the co- the club, did you see him?

• 2:08:58Speaker 05

  You can just tell from the photos, he looks so skinny.

• 2:09:00Joe Rogan?

  Dude, he looks great. He looks great. He was at the club the other night, I'm like, dude, you look fucking great. I go, what do you weigh? He goes, one eighty-seven. He hasn't been one eighty-seven since he was like in high school.

• 2:09:11Speaker 02

  Wow, good for him.

• 2:09:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but he's like healthy. He's not like a Ozempic, one eighty-seven.

• 2:09:16Speaker 02

  Had a good joke, uh, um, Gaffigan, he, he, he makes me laugh, he said, I don't, I don't want my meet and greet and my fan said to me, "Oh, you look, you look, uh, are you okay?" And I get that, he's like, "Oh, I'm okay." "Yeah, you okay?" He says, "Yeah, I'm fine, why?" He says, "You look sick." He's like, "No, I, no, I just lost weight." And she goes, "Oh, Ozempic?" He goes, "No, not Ozempic, I'm on the other one."

• 2:09:41Joe Rogan?

  Ah.

• 2:09:42Speaker 02

  But he, it's like, if you, if you, if you're, if you're, if you have muscles, you're on steroids, if you're, if you're skinny, you're on Ozempic. Can anyone be happy with anybody just looking good, you know?

• 2:09:52Joe Rogan?

  No one. No one's happy with improvement.

• 2:09:53Speaker 02

  God, you look good, what are you on? "No, I'm not nothing."

• 2:09:56Joe Rogan?

  The only time you're gonna find people that are happy when you're doing good is if they're doing good. So if they're doing good, then they get to say, "Hey, Carrot Top, you're looking great, man." "You're looking great." Cause they don't, they don't feel threatened.

• 2:10:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, you look good.

• 2:10:09Joe Rogan?

  So some people do, they feel threatened by other people doing well, and so they, they don't, they want, ugh.

• 2:10:14Speaker 02

  Ozempic? Yeah, doing Ozempic? I mean, I would die if I took a shot. There's no fucking way that that guy has the. Willpower lose that weight. Right, yeah. He's a pussy. Right, right.

• 2:10:24Joe Rogan?

  And then they feel better. They feel better about themselves.

• 2:10:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:10:26Joe Rogan?

  Because their life sucks.

• 2:10:27Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 2:10:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's a lot of people. That's a giant chunk of the population. That's why you're not supposed to read social media comments.

• 2:10:33Speaker 02

  I hear my friends say, I'm like, I look at her, yeah, she's gotta be on, I said, maybe she's just taking care of herself. Maybe she's doing, she's eating apples and doing yoga. Fuck, who knows?

• 2:10:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Also, some people, it's really gonna help them. You know, if you're 600 pounds, it's probably a good idea. And what my friend was telling me, my friend Brigham was telling me, uh, who actually runs a pharmacy. He's like, the issue is the dosage, first of all, that people are getting these enormous doses. And, you know, variable by body weight, it should be, they should probably be getting a much lower dose.

• 2:11:05Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:11:05Joe Rogan?

  And he's saying they're showing now that if you mix it with certain peptides, I think it was IGF-1, is that what he said? I think he said IGF-1, that if you mix it with certain peptides, it eliminates the muscle loss and the bone loss. And so what you do is you, if you get on one of these things, if you're overweight, you're really struggling, and you just need something to just get you back on track. The idea is that you could get on this and then use it as like a kickstart to a healthy lifestyle. Okay, now you've dropped 30 pounds, you feel much better, right? Okay, you've been eating really good, right? Now let's get off this fucking nonsense that you're on that's making you lose your appetite. And let's now just maintain your body weight and just, just keep eating healthy.

• 2:11:49Joe Rogan?

  And it'll go off. Like, if you just do it the right way, it'll, you'll continue to progress. You know, you don't have to stay on that stuff.

• 2:11:58Speaker 02

  No, it's good.

• 2:11:58Joe Rogan?

  Because long term is kinda sketchy. Like, I don't know, what are you, what are you doing to, it's like, what is, what is the actual GLP-1, uh, chemical, what, what, or whatever you wanna call it, medication? What does it actually do? What does this peptide actually do that makes you lose your appetite? Cause that's essentially what it's doing.

• 2:12:18Speaker 02

  It's supposed to just to curb your appetite, right?

• 2:12:20Joe Rogan?

  Which is the last thing I ever wanna hear about. I fucking love appetite.

• 2:12:24Speaker 02

  I love it, yeah, I love it.

• 2:12:25Joe Rogan?

  I am appetite.

• 2:12:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. We get from the airport here, it's all people, my, my sissy was telling, where's, where's the best barbecue place? Barbecue.

• 2:12:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, dude, I don't wanna hear, I'm gonna lose my appetite. You can go fuck yourself. I love appetite. So regulates appetite by acting on the brain's hypothalamus to promote feelings of fullness and satiety. And by slowing down the rate of which food leaves the stomach, gastric emptying. It also influences the brain's reward system, reduces cravings for high calorie food and dampening the motivation to eat. These combined effects contribute to a reduced overall energy intake and a longer lasting feeling of fullness after meals. I think it's like everything else, man. Like you could probably use it responsibly and it can probably help you if you're really obese. But I think there's way too many people that are hopping on it that just need a little discipline.

• 2:13:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:13:17Joe Rogan?

  Just, just get a little discipline.

• 2:13:18Speaker 02

  Just do like I do.

• 2:13:19Joe Rogan?

  But that doesn't mean that some people shouldn't use it, right? And if they can figure out how to do it right with like peptides, then okay, maybe, maybe it's a healthy way for you to get into a good lifestyle. But the real thing is getting, get healthy. That's the real thing.

• 2:13:32Speaker 02

  Right. And I think it's predominantly made for people with diabetes, I think, but then they found out there was.

• 2:13:38Joe Rogan?

  Exactly.

• 2:13:38Speaker 02

  It would help people that were obese.

• 2:13:39Joe Rogan?

  Exactly.

• 2:13:40Speaker 02

  Which, like you said, you know.

• 2:13:41Joe Rogan?

  And it's a huge moneymaker.

• 2:13:43Speaker 02

  Oh, are you kidding me?

• 2:13:44Joe Rogan?

  Making some money. Making some money off that stuff.

• 2:13:46Speaker 02

  I just eat and throw up. That's what I do.

• 2:13:48Joe Rogan?

  But see, that's not. That's one that I don't have a problem with people making money off of. It's like, I don't have a problem them making money off of any of them. Let me be real clear. But this one's like maybe like overall benefit if done correctly. For people, there's so many people out there that are fucked, man. They're 500 fucking pounds and they don't know how to stop. And they, they go to counseling.

• 2:14:11Speaker 02

  You see the shows they have on there.

• 2:14:13Joe Rogan?

  They think about getting their stomach stapled and it is an addiction just like gambling, just like anything else. You need some help sometimes.

• 2:14:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:14:20Joe Rogan?

  And maybe that's what they need.

• 2:14:22Speaker 02

  A little boost.

• 2:14:23Joe Rogan?

  Just something, something to fucking get you out of this terrible state and move you into a place of healthy. And then you'll be, you'll feel better. This is a problem with like. You'll you'll think better, you'll be nicer, you'll you'll you'll have a better life. You'll have more energy to do the things you like to do. There's no downsides to being healthy. There's zero downsides.

• 2:14:47Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:14:48Joe Rogan?

  You know, the only downside is it sucks. It's a lot of hard work. But once you get there, once you get there, the feeling of satisfaction of having accomplished something like getting your body into a condition where it's like healthy. And you can do stuff. You can, you know, take a fucking yoga class. You can do CrossFit. You can you can do stuff. It's physical. It works well.

• 2:15:08Speaker 02

  Or just get implants like I did. It's a lot.

• 2:15:13Joe Rogan?

  There was this one guy who got like the most implants.

• 2:15:16Speaker 02

  Oh, I know that. Yeah.

• 2:15:17Joe Rogan?

  Like a human Ken doll. Have you seen that guy?

• 2:15:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, it's that's really creepy, isn't it?

• 2:15:23Joe Rogan?

  Someone needed to talk to him a long time ago. Like, Mike, whatever you're doing, slow down, Mike. Mike, slow down, Mike. You look crazy. I don't know if you got a mirror in your fucking house.

• 2:15:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, goddamn.

• 2:15:36Joe Rogan?

  But that's the thing with with people when they start doing that kind of stuff, they don't know when to stop.

• 2:15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 2:15:41Joe Rogan?

  And it becomes addictive, you know? Just like eating becomes addictive or gambling. You could get addicted to just fucking with your friend. That guy, there he is.

• 2:15:49Speaker 02

  Ah, damn.

• 2:15:50Speaker 05

  He's got a back implant he got.

• 2:15:51Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's got a back implant, tight.

• 2:15:52Speaker 05

  Twenty one Gs?

• 2:15:53Joe Rogan?

  Twenty one thousand dollars to do a back implant? It does look like he's got crazy lats. I'd be like, that guy must be a rock climber. Right? If you saw that, I'd be like, that guy's jacked. Look how jacked he is. All the way down to his wrists. And you're like, hey, why are those wrists on that body? That's crazy. Something's wrong. Like, this is like, you know what I mean? It's like, he looks great for like whatever it is. The boobs are odd. Uh, but there's some some part of your brain is like, what is going on? Does he have fake abs too? I don't know. Those are great fake abs. If those are fake abs, let me see that again. Well, there, it looks real. That looks normal. But one of the ones that you just showed earlier look like, okay, are those his real abs?

• 2:16:38Joe Rogan?

  Cause if you, if you could get those abs, if those are real, like you could have done the whole thing. You could have done the whole thing, fella. Like somebody just needed to get you lifted weights.

• 2:16:48Speaker 05

  I'm afraid to admit to what he's gotten done. I'll see if he admits to that.

• 2:16:50Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no, he totally admits to it, right?

• 2:16:52Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I think that's his whole thing.

• 2:16:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's letting everybody know. It's not like he's like, nope. God just keeps blessing me.

• 2:17:00Speaker 05

  Undered the knife more than 190 times.

• 2:17:02Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's normal.

• 2:17:03Speaker 05

  For over 340 procedures.

• 2:17:06Joe Rogan?

  Well, that seems totally sane.

• 2:17:09Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 2:17:10Joe Rogan?

  Just how many, what is it like, what kind of damage are you doing to your body just going under 190 times? 190 times you went under?

• 2:17:19Speaker 05

  Starting at age 18.

• 2:17:20Joe Rogan?

  Whoa. Soon as he got out of the house, fuck you, mom and dad.

• 2:17:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm kinda, I'm got orange cones around his bed. I'm getting lats.

• 2:17:28Joe Rogan?

  I'm getting fucking lats.

• 2:17:30Speaker 02

  He doesn't, but he looks like he's a small framed guy.

• 2:17:33Joe Rogan?

  Exactly. You get down to his wrists, you're like, that guy's a bird wrist. This is insane.

• 2:17:37Speaker 02

  The wrist was weird, yeah.

• 2:17:39Speaker 05

  He's not admitting abs, saying he did everything else.

• 2:17:42Joe Rogan?

  Oh. Okay, well, if that's true, and it may be true, they might not be able to do abs back then. I don't.

• 2:17:50Speaker 02

  I think they. I know they do abs.

• 2:17:53Joe Rogan?

  I know they do that sculpting thing.

• 2:17:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:17:55Joe Rogan?

  Where they sculpt the fat away and it makes it look like you have more abs.

• 2:17:59Speaker 05

  Fake abs look like they don't look like that guy's abs.

• 2:18:01Speaker 02

  I have a guy.

• 2:18:02Joe Rogan?

  Those are pretty good.

• 2:18:03Speaker 05

  But that, the other guy's.

• 2:18:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's that crazy guy. That guy's had a lot of those things too. So that's fake abs. Yeah, those look real.

• 2:18:09Speaker 05

  A little more real.

• 2:18:10Joe Rogan?

  But that, that, like I'm saying, like if somebody just talked that dude into lifting weights, hooked on the look. What is, what's, I think those were his real abs, which are pretty good. Like he could have got a tight swimmer's body instead of what he did. Ooh, Jesus Christ.

• 2:18:25Speaker 05

  They also do that sculpting thing, which it's not an implant, you know, but they like dig them out with.

• 2:18:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they expose, they cut all the fat away, so it exposes more of the abdominal area. Abdominal sculpting, karate.

• 2:18:37Speaker 02

  I think I have that tomorrow before Sagora.

• 2:18:39Joe Rogan?

  Tight. You're gonna have to get drained though. You're gonna have these tubes out of the side. Leaking pus. Because you just had a wound, but they cut your fat away.

• 2:18:50Speaker 02

  So great.

• 2:18:51Joe Rogan?

  You wanna look better in a bikini.

• 2:18:53Speaker 02

  I like, I, yeah, no.

• 2:18:54Joe Rogan?

  All I have to do is just work out. Jesus Christ, people.

• 2:18:56Speaker 02

  Do a crunch.

• 2:18:58Joe Rogan?

  Your body is who you are, right? If you have like a little bit of a gut, it's because you've been fucking off. That's just it.

• 2:19:03Speaker 02

  You live a good life.

• 2:19:04Joe Rogan?

  Show it to the world. This is who you are, let it go.

• 2:19:07Speaker 02

  You're living good, you got a little gut.

• 2:19:09Joe Rogan?

  If you don't like it, lose weight.

• 2:19:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:19:11Joe Rogan?

  I just don't know if, uh, you need Ozempic. Maybe somebody does.

• 2:19:17Speaker 02

  Like you said, someone that's really obese probably would help them.

• 2:19:20Joe Rogan?

  Dude, we're just about four or five years away from there being able to genetically engineer you anyway. They're gonna be able to like eliminate all obesity. Obesity is gonna be out the window probably. At least with people who have the money for the procedure. They'll probably just fucking lay paste around your body. Fat will burn away and you'll fucking come out look like Chris Evans and Captain America.

• 2:19:46Joe Rogan?

  That's gonna happen dude, it's gonna happen.

• 2:19:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, it will.

• 2:19:48Joe Rogan?

  They're already doing weird stuff that's beneficial to people. They're already figuring out how to splice genes and turn off like gene expressions that cause certain diseases and they're getting involved in some really wild research when it comes to like manipulating your genome. And once, once it really gets good, once they really start, you know, curing certain diseases and figuring stuff out and they go ratchet up and they can start they'll start going, who wants to be good looking?

• 2:20:23Joe Rogan?

  Who wants a giant dick who wants the biggest ass?

• 2:20:27Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 2:20:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's just gonna, 100% people are gonna all look like cartoons, we're all gonna be cartoony.

• 2:20:32Speaker 02

  It's gonna be, yeah, it will all look like that.

• 2:20:35Joe Rogan?

  We're all gonna look like Thor and the woman will look like Prime Jennifer Lopez.

• 2:20:39Speaker 02

  The whole world's hot, I mean if anyone's hot.

• 2:20:43Joe Rogan?

  Fun times, everybody gets to play.

• 2:20:45Speaker 02

  Everybody's good.

• 2:20:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, with, you might, how much it must suck to just unfortunately be born really unattractive? You know, like there's people that got a terrible roll of the dice in life. You know, they got weird shit heads.

• 2:20:59Speaker 02

  I'm right here for god's sakes.

• 2:20:59Joe Rogan?

  You're a normal looking guy dude, you're a normal looking guy who's done some stuff. But this, normal looking people like you and I, like Elephantitis Man, that guy?

• 2:21:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, of course.

• 2:21:10Joe Rogan?

  Imagine something like that, where you could just completely change it and all of a sudden he looks like Ken. Why wouldn't you do that?

• 2:21:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 2:21:17Joe Rogan?

  Why wouldn't everybody get a chance to be hot?

• 2:21:19Speaker 02

  What's it gonna be like if everybody's hot?

• 2:21:21Joe Rogan?

  Fun! It's gonna be fucking fun dude, it's gonna be awesome.

• 2:21:25Speaker 02

  Everybody gets to play, I like that.

• 2:21:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's gonna be fun, everybody's hot, it's gonna be great. And what if they figure out what's wrong with people's brains? Like, oh, we thought that you just had to let people experience life and figure out their issues and make mistakes and maybe go to jail and then get out. No, no, no, no, no, we can just rewire brains. Rewire everybody's brain so everybody's like really calm and peaceful and kind and compassionate. And you have to sign up for it, it's the compassionate program. And everybody has to get the updated software.

• 2:21:55Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 2:21:56Joe Rogan?

  And we'll all be super sweet to each other. We're gonna have to do it.

• 2:21:59Speaker 02

  Software.

• 2:22:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:22:01Speaker 02

  I have a software update tonight.

• 2:22:03Joe Rogan?

  Everyone's gonna be hot and everyone's gonna be nice. It's gonna be a human origin.

• 2:22:07Speaker 02

  Everyone's gonna have all their hair, they're gonna have muscles.

• 2:22:09Joe Rogan?

  And then all inventions will cease.

• 2:22:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:22:12Joe Rogan?

  Instantaneously. We'll never invent a single thing after that. There will be no more music.

• 2:22:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:22:19Joe Rogan?

  Everyone's gonna be hot, there'll be no motivation whatsoever for you to ever like be like Prince.

• 2:22:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:22:29Joe Rogan?

  You know? Like Prince became Prince because he was five foot three and that was the way to get women to love him, to be so fucking talented, like, that people just are blown away. And you're acting like a woman, they don't even understand it, they're so hot for you. Like, he hacked the system. You're not gonna get that if everybody's hot.

• 2:22:45Speaker 02

  I met Prince a couple times. One time I met him, he was still cursing. Cause I was on the Tonight Show and I was back in that little hallway getting my makeup done, whatever. And, but I already came in makeup, so I don't know why, you know, I was always ready. So, I just walk out the makeup thing and Prince was on the show, his door's right there and mine is down here. So I walked over to Jay and I said, he walked in, and I said, can I, could you introduce me to Prince? And he said, well, you're in the phone, it's gonna knock on the door. I said, well, no, I'm protocol, rather you walk me in, it's Prince, and just say, hey. And he said, I haven't even said hi to him yet either, so come with me. So, he said, well, go after this. He goes to get his makeup, I'm just standing there.

• 2:23:30Speaker 02

  Prince comes out of his dressing room, and he says, where's my fucking tea?

• 2:23:36Speaker 02

  And I'm like, what's that? He's my fucking tea. And I was like, oh, I'll, I'll, I'll go get it. And he, he closed the door and Jay's right there in the thing. I said, where's, where's Prince's fucking tea? And she's like, what? I said, he just yelled at me to get his fucking tea. He's like, does he know you're in the, no, he doesn't know I'm on the show. He probably doesn't know you're on the show. So I went and got tea and I walked and knocked on the door and he opened it and, and he, his assistant opened the door. I said, this is, this is Prince's tea. And he says, he doesn't drink tea. I was like, okay, uh, no. And Prince is looking, he's like, close the door to the thing. What the fuck was that about? Where's my fucking tea? I go get tea.

• 2:24:22Joe Rogan?

  Well, listen, that seems insane.

• 2:24:25Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 2:24:28Speaker 02

  I, it, but it was, it was just awkward and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. So the next time I'm in Vegas, I'm going to my own room.

• 2:24:36Joe Rogan?

  You didn't talk to him at all after that?

• 2:24:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:24:38Joe Rogan?

  When you were on the show together?

• 2:24:39Speaker 02

  No, they, he did his thing. I came and he's, Jay brings us all on at the end. This is everything, Prince and Carrot Top and then that. And Prince declined to, to go out for the closing, but you can see it. He's, he's like, we had Prince, Carrot.

• 2:24:54Joe Rogan?

  Do you think he was embarrassed that he told you to get his tea?

• 2:24:57Speaker 02

  No, I think he was just out of his mind. No, maybe, maybe he thought, oh shit, I, no. But he would've said, thank you for my tea. The girl's like, he doesn't want tea. I'm like, he just asked me for fucking tea. All right.

• 2:25:11Joe Rogan?

  That follows along with my theory about that kind of talent. I always think you have to be at least somewhat insane or have a relationship.

• 2:25:19Speaker 02

  Indeed, indeed.

• 2:25:20Joe Rogan?

  You have to have a relationship with insanity, which is probably why I joined Jehovah's Witness.

• 2:25:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:25:25Joe Rogan?

  And decided to stop swearing. It's like he wanted some structure, right? He's probably had a relationship with insanity.

• 2:25:32Speaker 02

  Probably. I mean, he was, he definitely had a, I mean, he had a trouble, you know, we all know that. It was, he was a rough patch there for him, but um, he, the best one was I was going to my room at the MGM Grand at the, the top suites, whatever the hell they're called.

• 2:25:48Speaker 02

  It's after the show and they have the little girls at the end of the, you know, the check you in at the top. Morning, Mr. Thompson. How was your show? Awful. And I, I start walking down the hall and there's this big, big, I mean, big black guy just standing right in the center of the hallway. So I'm walking towards him and I'm like, you know, I'm getting closer to him. So I said, hey, how's it going? And I saw him go like, you know, I can't go by him. So I said, oh, oh, I'm sorry. I need to go to my, he's, you, you can't go to, you can't go past here. I said, oh, no, I have to go to my room. He says, you're not going by, you're not going by me. He wasn't mean about it, but he says, you're not, you're not gonna go by me. And I made a joke like, I can, I can probably get by you.

• 2:26:33Speaker 02

  You're being funny? I said, I said, I can, I could probably get by you, pretty quick. Didn't laugh. So I said, all right. I went back to the girl at the front. I said, is that guy work here? She's like, who? I said, the guy in the hallway. No, what, what guy? I said, that guy. No, I said, well, then what, you won't let me go by him? She's like, I'll go with you. She walks with me. I said, I brought backup. I mean, I get this little old lady.

• 2:26:59Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:26:59Speaker 02

  I brought backup, we're getting through you. And he's like, sir, he needs to go to his room. He's like, I'm sorry, you can't, you can't, you can't come by me. And I just kinda, I figured there's gotta be something behind him. And I kinda just do one of these like, well, I just gotta get, and it's Prince and he's standing, he's only, you know, he's, this, this guy's three times his size and Prince is standing behind him. So I just, I say, Prince? And he goes, hey. I said, can I go to my room? He goes, yeah. I said, can you tell him? And he goes, tell who? I said, the guy. Like, he's not with him? I, he says, he said, yeah, let Carrot Top go to his room.

• 2:27:44Speaker 02

  And he goes, he goes one of these, and I walked by him and he's just, Prince is just standing, just standing behind this guy in the hallway. I don't know what he was doing even. He was just standing there. He was just standing.

• 2:27:54Joe Rogan?

  Probably writing a new song in his head.

• 2:27:55Speaker 02

  Maybe he was writing, I don't know, but it was just the weirdest. And he just said, "Hey." And I said, "Thanks, Prince." He said, "No problem."

• 2:28:00Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he's a weird guy. That's why he's so good.

• 2:28:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. I just never forget that. I was like, "Ah."

• 2:28:06Joe Rogan?

  I don't think anybody gets that good without being really out of their mind.

• 2:28:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:28:09Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 2:28:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:28:11Joe Rogan?

  You gotta be out there, man.

• 2:28:12Speaker 02

  He is standing there behind this guy.

• 2:28:13Joe Rogan?

  That's funny.

• 2:28:15Speaker 02

  It wasn't like, it wasn't on his phone.

• 2:28:18Joe Rogan?

  It's a funny thing to do.

• 2:28:19Speaker 02

  Before there was phones, it wasn't like...

• 2:28:20Joe Rogan?

  It's a funny thing to do. Stand out there with a giant dude in front of you.

• 2:28:24Speaker 02

  He was just standing there, behind him. Maybe he was waiting on a girl to come out of the room. That's all I could think of.

• 2:28:29Joe Rogan?

  Maybe. Just felt like standing there.

• 2:28:30Speaker 02

  He was just standing there. And I looked back, "Thanks, Prince." He said, "No problem."

• 2:28:34Joe Rogan?

  Remember when he had to use a symbol because he didn't have the rights to use his name?

• 2:28:39Speaker 02

  Right, a record label.

• 2:28:39Joe Rogan?

  That's so insane. You go back to Billy Joel's song, "I Am The Entertainer." Like, this is that too. It's the same thing. Music business, fucking with one of the all-time greats.

• 2:28:48Speaker 05

  I was just reading about Billy Joel. His first record deal, he almost fucked everything up. He sent everything away for 15 years.

• 2:28:55Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God.

• 2:28:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:28:56Speaker 05

  1973. Some guy saw him perform that song you're talking about, and he's like, "I gotta, we gotta figure this out."

• 2:29:02Joe Rogan?

  Captain Jack?

• 2:29:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:29:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow. "Captain Jack" is a great fucking song. Have you ever seen him do it live?

• 2:29:09Speaker 02

  No, but yeah.

• 2:29:10Joe Rogan?

  God damn. See if you can find an old version. God, can we play it and like, cut it out? Yeah, let's play it and cut it out. Find an old version of him doing it live from like, the 1970s. If you can, if it's possible.

• 2:29:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a whole thing in the documentary right now about Billy Joel where his...

• 2:29:28Joe Rogan?

  Look at this. How quick is this? 1976, Captain Jack, uh, from, excuse me, Connecticut, live, 1976.

• 2:29:39Joe Rogan?

  We'll come back, ladies and gentlemen. Now, we're back.

• 2:29:42Speaker 02

  Oh, going back to, we were talking about music earlier, about...

• 2:29:46Joe Rogan?

  How good was that song?

• 2:29:47Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what I'm saying, though. We have this, you, I'm sure, everyone has the same discussion about music and da, da, da, da. You know, these songs, everything from that era, 60s, 70s, 80s, is still relevant and amazing. But there's, it's hard to find, I don't know if they just don't play it, too.

• 2:30:05Joe Rogan?

  It's, you gotta find the artists, man. You gotta find, find the artists.

• 2:30:10Speaker 02

  Go back and I, you know, who do you?

• 2:30:11Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of artists out there.

• 2:30:13Speaker 02

  I still listen to, you know.

• 2:30:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but there's great guys right now, man, you know. There's Jelly Roll right now.

• 2:30:18Speaker 02

  Oh, he's amazing.

• 2:30:19Joe Rogan?

  Oliver Anthony, he's amazing.

• 2:30:23Joe Rogan?

  Teddy Swims. That dude, do you know who that guy is? Oh, my God. Play the Door by Teddy Swims.

• 2:30:32Joe Rogan?

  What's that?

• 2:30:33Speaker 05

  We can't play music anymore.

• 2:30:34Joe Rogan?

  Just like, we'll cut it out. We'll cut it out. We'll cut it out. Sorry. But I just want you to listen to this.

• 2:30:42Speaker 02

  You fuck with your crowd, you say, okay, now here, this is one of the best songs I've ever heard. Check this out.

• 2:30:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but people will just go and listen to it.

• 2:30:48Speaker 02

  No, you come back and you go, right?

• 2:30:50Joe Rogan?

  Listen to this. Listen to this song.

• 2:30:53Speaker 02

  Great.

• 2:30:54Joe Rogan?

  You get it.

• 2:30:54Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 2:30:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:30:56Speaker 02

  Beautiful.

• 2:30:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, see, they're out there, man.

• 2:30:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, I know.

• 2:30:58Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of dudes out there.

• 2:30:59Speaker 02

  I guess when I'm old like me, I just get stubborn. I go, oh, what do you listen to? I'm like, oh, Elton John, Billy Joel, like, what the fuck?

• 2:31:06Joe Rogan?

  I'll give you some shit to listen to. There's some great shit out there.

• 2:31:09Speaker 02

  I try to. I just get so, I'm old, so.

• 2:31:12Joe Rogan?

  You listen to Zac Brown at all?

• 2:31:14Speaker 02

  I love Zac Brown, yeah, I love Zac Brown.

• 2:31:15Joe Rogan?

  Zac Brown. I love Zac Brown, too, but Zac Brian.

• 2:31:18Speaker 02

  Oh, Zac Brian.

• 2:31:19Joe Rogan?

  He's the guy that was at the arena with Shane Gillis. You don't know him?

• 2:31:23Speaker 02

  No, I don't, wait, do I not know him?

• 2:31:24Joe Rogan?

  He's phenomenal. He's phenomenal. Phenomenal. And another one of those guys is just like, super, super talented, incredible voice. He was in the military, man. He was making songs on like TikTok in the military. One of those things like Vine or something like that, and that's how he popped. Just like right out of nowhere.

• 2:31:42Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 2:31:43Joe Rogan?

  And then I'm out of the army, they're like, you're gonna be a fucking star, kid.

• 2:31:46Speaker 02

  Superstar.

• 2:31:47Joe Rogan?

  He was in the Navy. Um, where, what, what arena were they at?

• 2:31:52Speaker 02

  Notre Dame.

• 2:31:53Speaker 05

  Notre Dame Stadium, football stadium.

• 2:31:54Joe Rogan?

  How many peoples in that?

• 2:31:56Speaker 05

  I'll show you. I mean, it's a hundred thousand.

• 2:31:58Joe Rogan?

  Is there a picture of them on stage?

• 2:32:00Speaker 02

  A lot, yeah.

• 2:32:01Joe Rogan?

  I wanna see a picture of him on stage.

• 2:32:05Joe Rogan?

  That's so surreal.

• 2:32:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:32:08Joe Rogan?

  Those numbers are so surreal. Like, look at the size of that. That's so crazy.

• 2:32:17Speaker 02

  It's like the Luxor every night, nothing different.

• 2:32:19Joe Rogan?

  Basically the same.

• 2:32:20Speaker 02

  It's the same.

• 2:32:22Joe Rogan?

  What's the biggest show you've ever done?

• 2:32:23Speaker 02

  Uh, Stadium in, uh, Florida.

• 2:32:26Joe Rogan?

  What is that?

• 2:32:27Speaker 02

  But that was for, uh, it was for their homecoming, it wasn't a, it wasn't a Carrot Top show. I was the headliner, but I was, it was a, it was a, uh...

• 2:32:35Joe Rogan?

  Look at this.

• 2:32:35Speaker 02

  Oh, look at that.

• 2:32:36Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 2:32:40Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:32:41Speaker 05

  He's so nervous about doing it, too.

• 2:32:43Joe Rogan?

  I can't wait to talk to him.

• 2:32:44Speaker 02

  Oh, I imagine.

• 2:32:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, how could you not be?

• 2:32:46Speaker 02

  Well, my, my thing with the stadium, because, you know, we do, they do a soundtrack there, but the stadium's empty. And it is, it was, you know, a hundred thousand people.

• 2:32:58Speaker 02

  Uh, this side was gonna be the alumni, this side was the, the kids, you know? All ages, now, they had a rules, you couldn't say, you couldn't curse, you couldn't, uh, definitely couldn't, anything sexual. So, my, thank God I brought all this stupid shit, which is, you know, meant for, Kyle is a bong with, you know?

• 2:33:16Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:33:17Speaker 02

  The open guy goes out, and his first joke is like, "I'm eating this chick out," right? Uh, my, my guy comes running in like, "Dude," my guy, he's like, his opening line was, "I'm eating this girl," and I said, "No." He goes, "Yeah."

• 2:33:30Speaker 02

  I'm like, "Well..." Second guy goes out, same thing, he's just, they're, they're beyond rotten, gross, dirty, right? And I'm getting ready to go up, and I'm like, "Well, I'm gonna eat shit now," because they're, they're, you know, they went here. But the crowd wanted goofy. They, they, they'd heard all this, it was actually working in my advantage, they, they did all this horrible, dirty stuff. That the, the, the crowd was kinda like, "Let's get Carrot Top," and I came up and I was like, you know? I did my exact thing I was supposed to do, silly goofy, you know, for, but, but both sides, they loved it. But the weirdest thing, and I'd love to ask him that, because I've never played a stadium, is, you say, you know, "Hey,"

• 2:34:13Speaker 02

  and it goes, "Hey, hey, hey, hey," four times, it's a back slap, whatever they call that.

• 2:34:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh, echo?

• 2:34:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, I didn't, in, in sound check, it wasn't doing that. So I went out and I said, I said, uh, something like, you know, Florida, I'm from Florida, so I was like, oh, Florida my hometown, I said, Florida my hometown, Florida my hometown.

• 2:34:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no.

• 2:34:31Speaker 02

  And I went, oh shit, like, in my head, I, I didn't know what I was gonna do in that split second. And I said, um, I said, wow, wow, wow, one thing cool about playing in the stadium, stadium, stadium, is that every time, every joke that's gonna bomb, is gonna bomb four time, four time, four time. And the crowd went like crazy, and I said, no, seriously, that ate shit, ate shit, and it just worked off that echo, it was great.

• 2:34:55Joe Rogan?

  Well, you figured out how to work with it.

• 2:34:56Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, in a split second, I'm like, yeah.

• 2:34:58Joe Rogan?

  That's the way to do it.

• 2:34:59Speaker 02

  That joke sucks, sucks, sucks, four times.

• 2:35:01Joe Rogan?

  God, imagine not, just ignoring the fact that you hear yourself four times.

• 2:35:04Speaker 02

  No, I know, and you have to time out, you're right, it was weirdest thing ever, you're holding up a thing, and you're like, it's a thing with a thing, and thing, and you have to hold it longer till they see it to put it down, it was weird.

• 2:35:16Joe Rogan?

  I remember when, uh, I used to work at Great Woods Center for the Performing Arts, it was like, uh, like a concert venue, and, uh, I was there when, uh, Bill Cosby was there. And the, the problem with comedy in that place is that it was outdoors, so the inside of it was all covered, like, there was like an inside space, it was open air. But there was a roof over it, and it was all covered, and then there was a lawn area in the back.

• 2:35:44Speaker 02

  Meadowbrook kinda thing.

• 2:35:44Joe Rogan?

  And they sold tickets for the lawn, but you could only hear the show inside the, the roofed area. Cause once it got out, all the echo fucked it up so bad, when it made it out into the lawn, you could understand what the fuck anybody said, you had to be in there where the speakers were. And so everybody was furious, they were all complaining, like, oh, they never checked, like, no one checked to see if you could hear someone talk out here.

• 2:36:08Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 2:36:09Joe Rogan?

  Crazy.

• 2:36:10Speaker 02

  These kids today, you know, God, they're, they're, yeah, Dennis, come in there.

• 2:36:15Joe Rogan?

  I saw Dangerfield there, he was backstage, so backstage, when Dangerfield would do shows, he would get high as fuck, he would take off all of his clothes, and he would put a robe on. That's where you'd go onstage with a bathrobe on, just raw dick in a bathrobe, and with slippers on, and dude, he fucking murdered. I was, I guess I was like nineteen years old when I was working there. And he went up there and I was not even thinking about doing stand-up comedy yet. So I was just loving it, just as a pure fan. I was like, I can't believe Rodney Dangerfield just hanging out with a bathrobe on.

• 2:36:49Speaker 02

  That's true, because that's what he was known for. Even Vegas, he'd go around the casino in a robe.

• 2:36:53Joe Rogan?

  Bro, I saw it. I saw him. I didn't see his dick, but I saw him in a bathrobe, but I saw him go onstage in a bathrobe. And that was his move.

• 2:37:01Speaker 02

  No, I, no, I, he did, he, I saw it. He, he walked up in his dressing room on purpose, with, undone. I swear to God. I said, I said, hey, I said Rodney. He said, yeah, it's my mom. He goes, hey, mom. And he just standing there. Yeah. My mom's like, crazy, right? And he meant to. He meant to. He was like, looked at me like, how's mom doing? I'm like, great. And she's like, your thing is hanging.

• 2:37:26Joe Rogan?

  In our dressing room at the club, his wife donated his notes from an appearance on The Tonight Show. So it's his handwritten notes, and they're all framed with a photo of Rodney. Yeah. It's pretty cool. He, what I, one of the things I loved about him, man, is that he introduced the world to a lot of other great comics. He introduced the world to Kinison, Hicks, Robert Schimmel, Don Mirra, Jerry Seinfeld, like, a lot of comics did. A lot of comics did those HBO Young Comedian specials, those Rodney Dangerfield ones.

• 2:38:01Speaker 02

  Well, that's what you're doing as well. And Tony is doing that, because you give all the comics time on your show, which most shows don't have that anymore, right?

• 2:38:09Joe Rogan?

  No, a lot of the comics do. A lot of shows have, but comics that have podcasts all do this.

• 2:38:14Speaker 02

  Right. But I mean, but you, but you made a lot of people have podcasts now. You're a powerful person behind it.

• 2:38:21Joe Rogan?

  But listen, I think people were gonna have podcasts, whether I did or not.

• 2:38:24Speaker 02

  But giving people the platform, like, fucking, I'm on, oh, you got me on here. You know, the other shows, like, late-night shows, don't have comics anymore.

• 2:38:32Joe Rogan?

  They don't. Well, that's so silly. But also, they're just so hampered anyway.

• 2:38:36Speaker 02

  You have to have a book to promote.

• 2:38:37Joe Rogan?

  They're hampered because it's all... The whole show was, not to knock late night shows, because some of them are fun to watch, but it's basically, it's publicity for a bunch of stuff, right? It's like someone's coming on to promote an album, someone's coming on to promote a movie. Nothing wrong with that, right? But the problem is, it's not what the host is interested in, right? And to, I think, the way that those shows are, you're handicapped in a way. Where you have to get on the famous people, you have to get on the rock star, you have to... You can't just have weird people come on. You can't have some guy who worked for the CIA come on and tell you about aliens. This is what I know so far.

• 2:39:12Speaker 02

  But that would be the whatever guest, like the third middle guest.

• 2:39:14Joe Rogan?

  You couldn't do that, though. You can't do it. First of all, you only have 10 minutes. Each guest is like in and out real quick. You have barely enough time to scratch the surface of like one or two stories. You don't get any kind of deep dive.

• 2:39:26Speaker 02

  Well, I guess what I used to do, I do it, I did it, I don't know how many times I did The Tonight Show, but it was always, I never was promoting anything. In fact, the one time I had something to actually promote, they didn't want to put me on. I said, "I'm trying to promote Chairman of the Board, this movie." And they're like, "Nah."

• 2:39:39Joe Rogan?

  That's hilarious.

• 2:39:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:39:40Joe Rogan?

  The one time you wanted to help.

• 2:39:42Speaker 02

  I really did. No, I did. I have this movie coming out.

• 2:39:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I remember that movie.

• 2:39:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they're like, "Nah." I'm like, "I got a movie, Jay, I got a, you know, I'm in a movie." Now, the weirdest one, I'm gonna ask you, I was gonna reverse this to you. Who's the strangest, you said strange guest, made me think of this, that you've had to do in front of... I'll tell you mine real quick. So I was on The Tonight Show, and Dick Cheney was on.

• 2:40:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 2:40:08Speaker 02

  And I mean, nothing against, I mean, it's a Cheney and...

• 2:40:11Joe Rogan?

  Smelled like sulfur?

• 2:40:13Speaker 02

  Well, I had five, maybe six props. Dick Cheney props, on purpose, right?

• 2:40:20Joe Rogan?

  Because Dick Cheney was there?

• 2:40:21Speaker 02

  No. I had like three, just because I'm topical all the time in the show.

• 2:40:25Joe Rogan?

  Oh, so you already have them?

• 2:40:26Speaker 02

  I already have them in my show, but then when they said, "Dick, you're gonna be on with Dick Cheney," I said, "Oh shit, can I do..." And so I started writing more. So I had like six and I opened with them, right? So but the weird part was I get there and we're rehearsing, uh, uh, uh, uh, secret service, everybody's there that, you know, I can't, I can't even get to my own room. Princess guys, you can't go by again, no. So I, I, I finally rehearsed, da, da, da, and they're like, the people are like, you know, he's gonna be a guest. I said, well, no, that's why I'm doing it, right? And they're like, geez, like, you know, I, I don't know. I said, well, you know, it's very topical. It's, it's, and I think it's funny that he's there, right? So Jay, this is right for the show.

• 2:41:09Speaker 02

  He said, um, is he gonna stay or is he gonna leave? Cause secret service is surrounding me, like, gonna go grab him and go. And Jay's like, well, I don't know. Well, I mean, I can ask him. And I'm thinking, well, just between you and me, I mean, this is like behind the curtain. Right. What do, what do you think? Is it better if he's there and I do it and they keep cutting over to him? Or if he's gone and I do it and I keep looking like, thank God he's gone? What's funnier? And he's like, I don't know. I mean, I, if you're fine. I said, I think if he could stay, it would be better. Cause it's really funny, I'm doing it right in front of the fucking guy. Right. So they said, okay. So they go back, he talks, he goes back, he's, okay, he's saying, so he goes back to the desk and they're, ladies and please welcome, I'm gonna find him, I came in top. Great impression.

• 2:41:54Speaker 02

  And I came out. Yeah. A good, good friend of the though. Wacky guy from Vegas. And so I walk out and I go right off, I go, I said, I look over, I said, hey, I had, I said, funny that you're here. And I, I pull out, probably could find this, we pull it out and I have a Dick Cheney gun and it's a, it's a rifle with a, the, the thing goes this way, cause he shot the guy in the head. And I mean, it's already like, holy fuck, right? And they're like, I found your gun. Oh, sorry, Bill. And it's like. It didn't, the crowd didn't know at first because they're all looking at him. They're looking at him.

• 2:42:28Joe Rogan?

  To see if he'll laugh.

• 2:42:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:42:29Joe Rogan?

  Did he laugh?

• 2:42:29Speaker 02

  And he's got that, you know, just pissed, right? So I, I, I go, right, and I do another one. I had an operation game, you know, the operation that had his, his face on it because he's always getting operated and eh, eh.

• 2:42:45Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:42:45Speaker 02

  I had a book with a thing, it was just like five or six Dick Cheney jokes. Finally, I, I keep looking over and I'm like, you know, we're good. You're not gonna have me, you're not gonna have me audited or I'm gonna be killed here. And you know, Jay, now the crowd's really getting, and now the Cheney's looking at me like, how many more fucking, he even says, how many more do we? I said, I got one more and then we'll move on. So I do one more Cheney joke. Now he's kinda, he's kinda laughing, but still kinda like, this is aggravating. Then I go and I do, um, a piggy bank for gay guys. And it's a, it's a piggy bank where the slot is in the asshole instead of the top of the thing, right?

• 2:43:21Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:43:22Speaker 02

  It's a great prop. Hey, it's a piggy bank for gay guys. Murders. I mean, I did a great, great set. I get done, I walk over, I sit down, and there's something going on, like the, the, there's a ruckus, there's like Secret Service, something going, the writers, the producers. And Jay, Jay gets up and he, and I'm just sitting there with Dick Cheney. And the lady comes over and she goes, oh my God, that was, that was, that was the best set you've ever done. I said, thank you, Tracy. And she said, um, I look over, I said, thank you for being good sport. Yeah, it was, where do you find all this? I said, no, I make it. He thought I just found it all. I said, no, I make, where do you find all this stuff? I said, I made it. You made that? It's pretty clever. His daughter is, is there.

• 2:44:06Speaker 02

  And apparently, all those Dick Cheney jokes were fine, but when I did the gay piggy bank, she lost her mind. Like.

• 2:44:15Joe Rogan?

  You can't do that?

• 2:44:16Speaker 02

  No, I don't know. I, she, she.

• 2:44:18Joe Rogan?

  Lost her mind like?

• 2:44:20Speaker 02

  Like really mad that I did a gay piggy bank joke on the show. Forget, I just did five jokes about her father. So everyone was taking her out of the studio.

• 2:44:31Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 2:44:31Speaker 02

  She was losing her, she was screaming and so they took her out of the studio.

• 2:44:35Joe Rogan?

  Just the gay piggy bank? That's it?

• 2:44:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like, I can't believe that you, that, that, in front of my father and I thought you were making fun of me. I'm doing a Dick Cheney, you know, I shot your dad joke.

• 2:44:46Joe Rogan?

  The gay piggy bank is what set her off?

• 2:44:48Speaker 02

  It was the gay piggy bank.

• 2:44:49Joe Rogan?

  Is this Liz Cheney?

• 2:44:50Speaker 02

  I think, I don't remember.

• 2:44:51Joe Rogan?

  You think? You don't know?

• 2:44:52Speaker 02

  It was one of the daughters, I don't know.

• 2:44:53Joe Rogan?

  How many daughters do you have?

• 2:44:53Speaker 02

  I don't know, that's why I think it might have been.

• 2:44:55Joe Rogan?

  How many daughters?

• 2:44:56Speaker 02

  Two, just two.

• 2:44:57Joe Rogan?

  One of the daughters, let's just say one of the daughters.

• 2:44:58Speaker 02

  One of the daughters, I don't think it was.

• 2:45:00Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly.

• 2:45:01Speaker 02

  Allegedly.

• 2:45:02Joe Rogan?

  Could have been an imposter, could have been an imposter.

• 2:45:04Speaker 02

  It was a.

• 2:45:04Joe Rogan?

  Crazy person pretending to be one of the daughters. Dick Cheney's daughter Liz are both staunchly against Donald Trump despite being Republicans. But why are Liz and Mary once feuding over same-sex marriage? How are they feuding over that? Let's find out. What's that?

• 2:45:21Speaker 05

  I was just trying to add.

• 2:45:23Joe Rogan?

  When was this?

• 2:45:26Joe Rogan?

  I know you're trying to add, but now I'm curious.

• 2:45:28Speaker 05

  Like this article is from a year ago.

• 2:45:30Joe Rogan?

  What? A year ago, someone's upset about same-sex marriage? What are they saying?

• 2:45:37Speaker 05

  Well, this, I mean, the election.

• 2:45:39Speaker 02

  I had, I had another prop that that.

• 2:45:41Joe Rogan?

  Hold on, what is, say it again?

• 2:45:42Speaker 05

  The election was a year ago, so it was, it had to do with that, that's why they mentioned Donald Trump in that.

• 2:45:45Joe Rogan?

  Right, well, what is, what is the same-sex marriage dispute between?

• 2:45:49Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 2:45:50Joe Rogan?

  Cause I need, I need to know.

• 2:45:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:45:52Joe Rogan?

  Some people are still arguing about that in 2025. Okay, and they believe in same-sex marriage, the other one doesn't? It'd be funny if it was the other way around. If the gay was like, I want it to be illegal, fuck.

• 2:46:04Speaker 05

  What, I don't know which one, we don't know, I don't know which daughter was.

• 2:46:07Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't either, I'm assuming it was probably the one that was gay maybe then.

• 2:46:10Joe Rogan?

  Maybe it's just like two, two daughters just hating on each other. It's like, well, I don't think you should get married.

• 2:46:16Speaker 02

  I had, I had another one that was kinda strange, cause it was a dumb joke, it made me think of, you said same-sex marriage. So, right when gay marriage became legal in certain states, it was like four states. I had a big map, a big map that I'd hold up and I'd say, hey, gay marriage is now legal. And this is a map to show people and it would have these, right where the states were, there were these little penises on springs, whatever. And it was, it was so, it was just dumb, right? So. I rehearse it and the, you know, the crew is fucking going crazy. They're like, ah, sky, fucking dildos and, you know, you can't do dildos on NBC. And so this lady comes over and she goes,

• 2:46:57Speaker 02

  "You can't..." I said, "I know. I, I, I mean, I think it's silly enough, you know, they're not, they're just on springs." And she's, I would always fight with her. She said, "No." So I said, "All right, if I come up with a different idea without dicks on it, can I do it?" She's like, "Yeah." So I thought, "I don't know, dude." I took the springs off and I had the guys back there at the Tonight Show print out Ryan Seacrest faces, you know, like four of them.

• 2:47:26Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:47:27Speaker 02

  And I put them where the gay marriages. Now, Ryan Seacrest is a good friend of mine and everyone was making fun of him, right? Back then, "Oh, he's gay." And he's not, clearly, but the joke would be, and it killed.

• 2:47:39Joe Rogan?

  It's funny.

• 2:47:41Speaker 02

  So I come back and I go, "How about this?" And she's like, "Oh, my God, that's..." I said, "I know him. He's not gonna, he'll, he'll probably..."

• 2:47:48Joe Rogan?

  He'll laugh.

• 2:47:48Speaker 02

  "Text me and say, 'Why would you do that?'" Jay comes over and goes, "Oh, you know, he's really a good friend of mine." I said, "No." Jay, I said, "He's a friend of mine too. It's funny. It's not, it's not anything." He's like, "Yeah, if you, if you, if you really, if you couldn't just..."

• 2:48:04Joe Rogan?

  That dude does not seem hypersensitive, is he?

• 2:48:07Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:48:07Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 2:48:08Speaker 02

  And Jay, but Jay was very protective of, I said, "No, it's, he's, no, you know, it's NBC, my friend, I don't think it's nothing there." And I said, "Well, yeah, I can put like, you want me to put like, like I said, like dick, you know, Richard Nixon dicks or something?" He's like, "No, just get rid of that. Just get rid of, just get rid of the joke." I said, "It's funny." Fuck.

• 2:48:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well-

• 2:48:28Speaker 02

  We're fighting over Ryan Kreese's face.

• 2:48:30Joe Rogan?

  That's the problem with, you know, having editorial access to someone's act when they're doing a Tonight Show set. It should be like, "No." It should be like, "Look, if you want fucking the Black Crows to play, they sing their song, you know what the song is, you know what the lyrics are, that's fine. But with a comic..." You can't, you can't tell them they can't do something.

• 2:48:50Speaker 02

  Well, they ask nicely, they ask nicely, and of course, I had, I had forty other props, I didn't need to do that one.

• 2:48:56Joe Rogan?

  Like, you're even swearing, like, what are you doing? You're being silly. It's silly. Like, come on.

• 2:49:00Speaker 02

  I did break the law with them once.

• 2:49:02Joe Rogan?

  What'd you do?

• 2:49:03Speaker 02

  I, I was doing a Bill, a podium for Bill Clinton, and it, it was the closing bit, and I would do the stupid voice to you like, "I did not," and there was this, you know, presidential seal on this podium, and it had a true, false buzzer button, it'd go bing, eh, eh, and it would be, it was just so stupid, you know, like, "I did not have," and you hit the button, "I did not have eh, I will not raise eh," and then, you know, I fucked her, ding ding ding, something. I forgot the joke now, but the, the, the closing punch of the whole thing was, right after I'm doing the podium, that would kill, I did, I could just stop on that. I had a foot pedal where Monica Lewinsky's

• 2:49:43Speaker 02

  head would come up, like, on a beret, literally. This is great. It took hard, it took engineering to do this. And so I'd go, "I did not," and then I hit the foot pedal, and the, the woman, the beret would come up, and I'd go, "Not now." It's just, that's all I had, just, "Not now." And in the rehearsal, it was just, it was the, they were like, "That's the best thing you've ever brought here, you're my god." And I said, "Yeah, great." Here, here comes my lady with her new pad, and I said, "Oh, fuck." She goes, "Everything is good, standard in practice." I said, "Uh," I said, "Oh," and I give her a hug. I said, "This is the first time I've come, and everything got approved." And she says, "Yeah." And I went back to my dressing room, like, "I can't believe I

• 2:50:26Speaker 02

  get to do this, my closing bit, the fucking, it's gonna ca-" Right before, I'm talking a minute before I come in, she walks in, she's like, "Okay, you can do the podium, but you can't, you can't-" Put her head down. And I said, "Why, you can't use your hand to force her head down. That's just, that, they can't, that can't, it can come up, you just can't force it down." I run to the prop department. I said, is there a way you can, because I'd made it. They don't know my, they're looking at like, I don't know, I made it. Is there a way I can, it can release and go down without me touching it? And they're like, I don't know. They looked at it and I'm on in five minutes. I said, fuck it.

• 2:51:09Speaker 02

  So I, I do the whole thing. I said, I did not, and the head comes up and I said, not now. And I use my elbow to put it down. And of course, the crowd, it killed and it would have been better if I did this, but I said, not now. I get done, I come over and I can see her fucking fuming. She comes running over me. Because they always come and say, what a great set. Oh, you did so good.

• 2:51:30Speaker 02

  Tracy Fiss did. She said, that was phenomenal. I said, I said, that was, Jay's like, oh, do I get that? And then I see the stands and practice lady coming over, ah, fuck. And I said, am I in trouble? She's like.

• 2:51:45Speaker 02

  I said, I didn't do that.

• 2:51:49Speaker 02

  We go, show's over. Thank you, but tomorrow night, and then, then she comes over. Okay, if I get fired over this. I said, you're not gonna get fired over this. She, oh, no, they've already bleeped it out on the, on the west coast, the east coast, it went live. I said, bleep out what? You can't force her head. I said, I didn't force, I didn't use my hand. I used my elbow. She just looked at me like, you fucking, like, so clever. I said, well, you said, don't use my hand.

• 2:52:15Speaker 02

  So, everything was fine after that. But it did get bleeped out and the, and it just, it went, you know, fucked the joke up because they went, I did not, and then, you know.

• 2:52:24Joe Rogan?

  The west coast version got edited.

• 2:52:25Speaker 02

  Good night. Like, it wasn't a punchline.

• 2:52:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well.

• 2:52:32Speaker 02

  You ever get in trouble for something?

• 2:52:33Joe Rogan?

  Not like that, no.

• 2:52:34Speaker 02

  Well, that, this is when I got in trouble. I got banned from Fox, I think for life, for this. And this is.

• 2:52:41Joe Rogan?

  For something else?

• 2:52:42Speaker 02

  This is really weird, yeah. I was doing the country, no, Billboard Music Awards and they asked me to do a little bit with Chris Rock. It's Chris Rock and me. And he, you know, it was such great together because he's like, you know, top, you know? And then I'm out there, it was stupid, and Chris Rock is, you know. See and I go out, we do our rehearsal and I had like four props or something. And the guy came over like in a panic, right middle of the show. It's already happened, our bit's coming up in about 40 minutes. He says, "I need you guys to go longer." And Chris Rock's like, "Bye." "What don't..." He said, "Just come up with something."

• 2:53:24Speaker 02

  And I said, "Well, I can go, I can, I can have my guy go back to the MGM and grab a few more props." "That'd be awesome." Chris was like, "Yeah, perfect, you know, we'll kill the time without having to change too much." "And I can just pull out more shit."

• 2:53:38Speaker 02

  I go and I tell him, I go, "Go TV clean, get, get like this, get the thing, the towel with the misspelled thing." And then the, one of the seat, the toilet seats.

• 2:53:49Speaker 02

  So, I added, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a great joke. It was a toilet seat with a seatbelt, so when you eat at Taco Bell, right? You sit on it and I put it on. Right. And I, and the sound, the sound effect in the show would say, "Houston, we have a problem." And it's a great stupid little bit. But there's about 20 toilet seats, leading up to that one. I was like, "No, I'm not kidding, like 30 toilet seats." And one that held women's hair when they throw up. I had one that lights up, I had one with spikes on it, it was so many. So the last one was the seatbelt, right? So it's very clean, right? It does great. We walk back and I'm thinking they're gonna come high five me because we just saved the show. We added, you know, we added time they needed.

• 2:54:32Speaker 02

  The guy's like, "They, they banned me because I said Taco Bell." "Because it was sponsored by Taco Bell."

• 2:54:43Speaker 02

  How the fuck am I supposed to know it's sponsored by Taco Bell? That's real shit, yeah.

• 2:54:50Speaker 02

  Dude, that's hilarious. I didn't say fuck, they said, "No, you said Taco Bell." I'm like, "Oh my god, that's so funny." "You're banned for life."

• 2:54:58Joe Rogan?

  Hilarious.

• 2:54:59Speaker 02

  Because I said Taco Bell. I didn't know. I mean, I'm not the guy. They should have come to me and said, "Don't do anything with Taco Bell."

• 2:55:05Joe Rogan?

  Yes. 100%. That's not on you. That's a normal reference for a comic.

• 2:55:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:55:10Joe Rogan?

  That's funny.

• 2:55:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, not funny, really. I mean, funny now.

• 2:55:14Joe Rogan?

  They would have been pumped if you said Del Taco.

• 2:55:16Speaker 02

  Oh, right?

• 2:55:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Go after the competitors.

• 2:55:18Speaker 02

  Now, see, if they told me that, I would have.

• 2:55:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, easy.

• 2:55:23Speaker 02

  Would have done that.

• 2:55:24Joe Rogan?

  Hey, brother, this was a lot of fun. Thank you for doing this again. It was a lot of fun. And I'm looking forward to seeing you on Kill Tony.

• 2:55:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:55:29Joe Rogan?

  And anybody who wants to check him out, Carrot Top is at The Luxor in Las Vegas, Nevada, on a regular basis. What's the best way to find out when you're there?

• 2:55:37Speaker 02

  Just text me, yeah. Yeah, Las Vegas, I mean, Carrot Top dot com or Las Vegas.

• 2:55:44Joe Rogan?

  Beautiful. All right, my man. Thank you.

• 2:55:46Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:55:47Joe Rogan?

  It was a lot of fun. All right, bye, everybody.

• 2:56:03Speaker 00

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