Ep 245: Patton Oswalt

Mark and Sam are joined by the always brilliant Patton Oswalt for a wild ride through comedy, cult films, and chaos. From Gallagher’s splatter zone to the genius of Team America, they cover movie obsessions, road gig nightmares, cancel culture debates, and the lost art of hanging with comics. Plus, they swap insane showbiz stories, true crime rabbit holes, and the eternal struggle of keeping sponge mold out of your marriage. Patton Oswalt: https://pattonoswalt.com/ Sponsored by: Support the show and get 20% off your 1st Sheath order with code DRUNK at https://www.sheathunderwear.com F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code DRUNK15 at https://www.theperfectjean.nyc/DRUNK15 #theperfectjeanpod 🎧 Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD 🛒 Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ 🎬 Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ 🎙️ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #PattonOswalt #SheathUnderwear #ThePerfectJean #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  Hey!

• 0:06Sam Morril?

  Hey!

• 0:07Speaker 00

  We're here, we're doing it, we might be drunk, we got Patton Oswalt with the tea. Hello, having tea, I can't day drink anymore, I'm too old kids.

• 0:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, this is an early one, that's because of us, but we were talking about Red Bank, New Jersey.

• 0:20Speaker 00

  Killer room.

• 0:21Sam Morril?

  Count Basie. I had seen Lily Tomlin there, like way back in the day.

• 0:25Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 0:26Sam Morril?

  Amazing show, she was like redoing, like it was like topical material and then she redid Search for Signs of Intelligent Life.

• 0:31Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 0:32Sam Morril?

  Great show.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Hell yeah, yeah, Ali Wong did a special there, it's a big one for specials.

• 0:37Sam Morril?

  It's a great room, but yeah.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  Well, because the interior's gorgeous. Beautiful.

• 0:41Sam Morril?

  Beautiful, cool staff, but I went there, I'm like filming my own tour doc type movie, and my publicist was driving me, and I have Rachel Feinstein in the car with me too, she's playing my publicist in the thing, and the publicist is like a dumbass, that's like the character, and my publicist is like, "I'm not stupid," I'm like, we were the whole time, we're like, "You're kind of stupid though, in a lot of ways, you're kind of incompetent." She's like, "I'm not," we get there early to film, she pulls up and she goes, "You're gonna kill me," I'm like, "What happened?" She goes, "We're at Count Basie Hall, not Count Basie Theater," I'm like, "What does that mean?" And she goes, "We're 90 minutes away."

• 1:12Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 1:13Sam Morril?

  And I was like, "We're literally making a movie about how dumb you are, and you drove us to the wrong venue."

• 1:18Speaker 00

  And you gave us such a perfect scene.

• 1:19Sam Morril?

  And she just kind of had to take us, just abusing her for the rest of the ride there.

• 1:23Speaker 00

  Wait a second, did you advertise you were at the Count Basie Theater or the Count Basie Hall?

• 1:28Sam Morril?

  Theater. Oh no, she just made, it was just a brain fart, she just put in the wrong venue into her GPS, she drove us there, she's like, "Oh, drive, let us, let me drive you."

• 1:35Speaker 00

  What I'm saying is, where the ticket, like on your website, did it say Count Basie Theater, so when you get to Count Basie Hall, there was no one there, or they knew to go to the right one?

• 1:43Sam Morril?

  No, no, everyone else knew to go there. My publicist drove us, she insisted on driving us.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:48Sam Morril?

  And I was like, "Oh, thank you so much for driving us," and then of course, wrong venue, we get there, I had all these like, childhood friends there, I had like, this kid I grew up with, who's like, he's, he's like, drinks the same amount he did in 8th grade, when he was like an alcoholic.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  Oh, no, no.

• 2:02Sam Morril?

  And he brought like 8 of his friends, and he's like, "Can I bring them all back?" And I was like, "Yeah, fine," and he walks up to my publicist, and he's like, "Dude, she's fucking hot." And I was like, "Aren't you like seeing somebody?" He's like, "Yeah, we just got engaged." I was like, "Okay." He corners my publicist and he goes, "Can I get your number?"

• 2:19Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 2:20Sam Morril?

  I was like, "Where's your wife?" "She's right out there."

• 2:24Sam Morril?

  The fucking brother-in-law, the whole family. I was like, what the fuck is happening?

• 2:27Speaker 00

  Was what he's arguing, look, we're only engaged. I still have some time. I gotta, what am I supposed to do?

• 2:32Sam Morril?

  It was, it was crazy. It was a, it was a weird night.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is the flaw of GPS, cuz they, they have, like, I have a street and it's, there's place, parkway, you know, lane. Oh, that's so annoying, yeah. And it'll fuck you so easily.

• 2:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I told her on the way back, make sure to put in Manhattan, New York. Don't, don't take us to Kansas right now.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  I remember I did the Count Basie Theater and I went in and, you know how gorgeous the interior is?

• 2:55Sam Morril?

  It's so beautiful.

• 2:56Speaker 00

  So I was like, wow, look at all this. And then they went, yeah. And they pointed up to like some little bit of architectural detail and there was this weird, still kinda shiny wet stain of some kinda substance. Uh oh. That had splattered on there. It was really high up too. I was like, whoa. And then they just went, Gallagher. He, Gallagher had been in there the night before. And it would hit, and, and they, they go, we did the best we could to clean, but he hit something, it just right angle, it went so goddamn high.

• 3:26Sam Morril?

  The one on the left is Cosby.

• 3:30Speaker 00

  I never thought of Gallagher leaving a, theaters must have hated Gallagher. I never thought, I just knew audiences and people hated him.

• 3:37Sam Morril?

  It's crazy, he got to theaters with that shtick.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. That was huge. No, I saw, I saw him at the fucking Kennedy Center back in the eighties. The Kennedy Center. Damn. And it was a goddamn mess. Well, Gigi Allen wasn't as messy as him. It really, there was an easier cleanup after Gigi Allen than it was Gallagher. Yes, Ozzy eating a bat, left, less of a imprint. But his wordplay, I thought was pretty damn good. I know people hate him.

• 4:04Sam Morril?

  Was, didn't he walk off Maron's interview?

• 4:06Speaker 00

  He did, yeah. Oh, yeah. Come on Gallagher. One of the greatest lines ever in podcast history. Come on Gallagher. You hear, you hear the hotel door slam. Oh, yeah. It was perfect.

• 4:17Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 4:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, so I got like a National Lampoon radio skit or something. And then he had a brother that was Gallagher too. There's a whole, we did a documentary on Gallagher. No, we need an A24 like weird Ari Aster horror film about the two brothers and the weird fighting and the and yeah, cuz he he had his brother go do smaller venues. With the same act? Same cuz he was he was so popular that he was getting all these booking requests. He's like, well, I want I want all that money, too. So he like, his brother got a nominal fee and then he also got a cut of that. He wanted to get all these gigs. And then the brother and he's like, but you gotta stay a certain size theater. You can't go above a certain size theater. You can't go in certain territories.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  And I think the what I heard was the brother went out and really kind of caught the bug. Like, hey, this is awesome. And just started booking the bigger venues like I'm think I'm better than the.

• 5:13Mark Normand?

  The original. That's what he did.

• 5:15Speaker 00

  And as weird as that sounds, I was just, there's this great podcast called A History of Rock and Roll in 500 Songs. So good. And so the they do one on Little Richard and Little Richard was so popular, Tootie Fruity was so massive that he got all these booking offers, like just like more than he there's no way he could do them like physically, he couldn't be there with from so they found Little Richard impersonators cuz people really didn't know what he looked like. They just knew what he sounded like. People that could do him and they would send him to all these other venues and just be Little Richard.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  And one of those Little Richard impersonators later on went back to his real name, James Brown. Oh, my gosh. James Brown started as a Little Richard impersonator going out like you get this chunk of the money and the rest goes to us, goes to the Little Richard Corporation. So he's he was out doing Little Richard gigs. Wow. Amazing?

• 6:15Mark Normand?

  That's crazy.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  It is crazy. It's also like.

• 6:17Sam Morril?

  Back in the day, Jim Carrey doing stand-up was like all impressions? And then one day, I think it was, he said Dangerfield was like, "Just be yourself." "You can just be you, you'll do better." And it's like, you know, shit.

• 6:28Mark Normand?

  And it took him a while to find that. He would bomb a lot before he figured out the "Alrighty then." And he said that's when it clicked.

• 6:34Sam Morril?

  But if you can just click into Clint Eastwood or all these characters, it's like, fuck, it must be hard.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  And do it like that well.

• 6:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 00

  You know, it's like, um, as funny as Dan Soder's material is, some of his impressions are so goddamn good.

• 6:48Sam Morril?

  But he fights it. Like, if I could do Soder's impressions, I would just, I would jump into that.

• 6:52Speaker 00

  Well, if I could do the impressions at the level that Soder can do them, I was, I remember I was talking to him and said, you know, "If you were an evil person, you could cause some real problems in these people's lives, like calling up..." Like, there's no difference in what... And he never had to say like, "And now I'm going into this person." He would go into the voice and I was like, "The fuck, dude?" It was really eerie.

• 7:14Mark Normand?

  He's like the original deep fake.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  Yes!

• 7:16Mark Normand?

  But he, did you ever see that episode where he called into like CNN or something as Dave Chappelle?

• 7:21Speaker 00

  Soder did that?

• 7:22Mark Normand?

  And it worked. They were like, "Oh, we got an interview with Dave, this is great." And he just bullshitted them for like 20 minutes on a podcast. You never heard about this? This is huge! Pull it up!

• 7:33Speaker 00

  Holy shit!

• 7:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:34Speaker 00

  Cause I know that, um, there's a, uh, there was a couple of DJs in, in LA, Kevin and Bean.

• 7:40Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 7:41Speaker 00

  And they would do Jerry Lewis. One of the, I think it was either Ralph Garman did Jerry Lewis, and they called France during the Iraqi war, and they somehow got through to the French president.

• 7:52Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 7:52Speaker 00

  And they had to go to commercial because the manager was like, "This isn't it..." Like, cause it all happened on the air. Like, they were talking, he's like, "Hello, I just wanna hope that you would pledge your..." And, and, but he wasn't doing the crazy, or then he was like, the way when Jerry, I can't do it, but when Jerry Lewis tries to act serious and talk, and it just sounds exactly like him. So you could see the president was like, "Ah, Jerry, it's so nice to, uh, that you called." And, and apparently the management was like, "We could go to federal prison for this."

• 8:21Mark Normand?

  Why is the FBI using comedians? Like, all these guys to like call in? Call in as like a homany or somebody.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  He said, "Who better to do it than Jerry Lewis?" So we got a number of random phone numbers in Paris, and we decided to call people up in Paris, and I would do Jerry Lewis and tell them that we still wanna be friends here in America.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  They don't even have, um, there isn't even a clip of the call, cause that can't be on YouTube.

• 8:45Mark Normand?

  Oh wow.

• 8:46Speaker 00

  It was all immediately taken down.

• 8:48Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah.

• 8:48Speaker 00

  But it went out over the air live. I remember when, cause I was driving around, I remember when it happened.

• 8:53Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  Is he, cause I thought, oh, they're calling, they, they got another comedian in the other line to be the French president. And they went to commercial and came back and Kevin and me were like, okay, uh, we've just been talking to, uh, management and we would like to, uh, preemptively apologize. Like they were really freaking out.

• 9:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Wait, go back, you had it, you had it.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  It was him talking about it.

• 9:14Sam Morril?

  You went back, you, you had it right there, yeah, yeah.

• 9:16Mark Normand?

  Right, the first, the first video, the big one.

• 9:18Sam Morril?

  The big one.

• 9:19Mark Normand?

  Go down. Jesus Christ, dad.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  This is 28 minutes.

• 9:22Mark Normand?

  Well.

• 9:23Speaker 00

  Looking for a clip.

• 9:24Mark Normand?

  I see.

• 9:24Speaker 00

  So he did this live on a show, but he got through to CNN?

• 9:27Mark Normand?

  Uh, Fox News, I was wrong.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 9:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cause they wanted an interview about like all the trans jokes.

• 9:33Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:34Mark Normand?

  And he was like, ah, fuck it, let's call him. And it worked.

• 9:38Sam Morril?

  Holy shit. So this is live on, but how would the, how is the crowd not losing it laughing?

• 9:43Mark Normand?

  They were, and Louis has to be like, shh.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, shut the fuck up.

• 9:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 9:46Sam Morril?

  Oh, here it is.

• 9:48Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 9:49Speaker 05

  Hey, how you doing?

• 9:50Speaker 04

  Hey, I'm good. I'm, I'm on a train, so apologies. Can you hear me?

• 9:54Speaker 05

  Oh, it's quite all right. I'm outside. I just wanted to call you real quick, cause I know, I, I only have about four minutes.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  That's okay. I have like 1% battery.

• 10:04Speaker 05

  Oh, I just, I, I wanted to get in quick and talk to you about Louis J. Gomez. He's one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life.

• 10:14Sam Morril?

  This is the point they should have known it wasn't Dave.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  Holy shit. Apparently when Kevin Pollak was doing a movie with, uh, Alan Arkin, he would call up the, um, director or producer as Alan Arkin on the phone and like make weird like demands for the next day. And then they would come, they'd go, we can have like the muffins you wanted. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then he, Kevin just said, one day he gets a message on the machine, no more phone calls, Kevin. No more phone calls. It's not funny. Like he was real, cause he just sounded exactly like Alan.

• 10:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Damn. Yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 00

  Pollak's underrated.

• 10:52Sam Morril?

  He's in a lot of great movies. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's in like A Few Good Men, usually. You're in a lot of great. I was looking at your IMDb before we came here. I was like, holy shit. I mean, obviously, like. Don't get me started on The Fan.

• 11:03Speaker 00

  Oh, big fan.

• 11:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah. The Fan is a fucking.

• 11:06Speaker 00

  Big fan.

• 11:07Sam Morril?

  That's a, that's a rough movie. Wait, wait. Is that the Wesley Snipes? Yeah. Yeah, sorry, sorry. That's like, that's like a so bad, it's kinda good movie. Knife Salesman.

• 11:14Speaker 00

  Well, it's, it's, um, it's, it's, uh, oh, God, who's the, um?

• 11:19Sam Morril?

  De Niro?

• 11:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, but the, the director, that guy, um, not Ridley Scott, but his brother. Oh, come on, Tony Scott.

• 11:26Sam Morril?

  Great director.

• 11:27Speaker 00

  Great director.

• 11:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 00

  And the, this, it's so friggin' preposterous, but it looks so good when they're pitching in the rain.

• 11:34Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  At the end.

• 11:35Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 11:36Speaker 00

  So it's like this massive rainstorm, like, yeah. And just like at the beginning of Last Boy Scout.

• 11:41Sam Morril?

  I was just gonna say that. We're just shooting players on the football field. I'm like, this is a reach.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  But also, it's, it's a football game happening in a, like a typhoon.

• 11:49Sam Morril?

  It looks cool as fuck.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  They're not even being subtle about the rain.

• 11:51Sam Morril?

  Who directed Last Boy Scout? I know it was.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  I thought, I thought that was also, um, Tony Scott.

• 11:55Sam Morril?

  Shane Black wrote it.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Or maybe, or maybe it was, um, Jan DeBont or?

• 12:00Sam Morril?

  It really bombed, I know that.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  And it shouldn't have, cause Last Boy Scout's fantastic.

• 12:03Sam Morril?

  It's fun as hell.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  It's so funny.

• 12:05Sam Morril?

  Damon Wayans.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  Damon Wayans.

• 12:08Sam Morril?

  Bruce Willis.

• 12:09Speaker 00

  And Bruce Willis. And Brian, uh, no, um, what's his name? Um, oh, God damn it.

• 12:14Sam Morril?

  The guy from Easy Money.

• 12:16Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 12:17Sam Morril?

  Who just, Taylor Negron.

• 12:18Speaker 00

  Taylor Negron.

• 12:19Sam Morril?

  Amazing death. He's, really? Yeah, he like, he gets shot and like falls through a helicopter blade.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Oh, he gets to have.

• 12:25Sam Morril?

  It's an epic 90's.

• 12:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:26Sam Morril?

  Wow. Gary Vee was telling me his dad took him to see that in the theaters when he was like six. And I was like, that explains so much about you.

• 12:32Speaker 00

  Was it Tony Scott?

• 12:33Sam Morril?

  Hey!

• 12:34Speaker 00

  You, you can tell a Tony Scott.

• 12:35Sam Morril?

  Shane Black, dude. Oh, yeah. Fun stylized.

• 12:38Speaker 00

  Shane Black has, have you, you guys have seen The Nice Guys?

• 12:40Sam Morril?

  That's one of my favorites. Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  That, they just did that, uh, pick your top 10 movies of the 21st century for the New York Times. They, I was one of the people they asked. And I put The Nice Guys in there.

• 12:51Sam Morril?

  It's a great movie.

• 12:52Speaker 00

  This should've made 300 million and there should, we should be on our fifth sequel at this point.

• 12:56Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  It should just be non-stop. That movie was.

• 12:58Sam Morril?

  Gosling is like, it's weird. He's funny. It's weird for a dude that handsome to be that good at slapstick comedy. Yeah. Cause he's like fucking hilarious in it.

• 13:06Speaker 00

  The toilet stall scene.

• 13:08Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 13:08Speaker 00

  This scene. Oh, God.

• 13:11Sam Morril?

  And Russell Crowe is awesome.

• 13:13Speaker 00

  And Shane Black's dialogue is so good, like kiss, kiss, bang, bang.

• 13:18Sam Morril?

  I love that.

• 13:19Speaker 00

  Breaking the fourth wall, it's fun. Yeah.

• 13:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I love that every chapter in that movie is just like a Raymond Chandler book.

• 13:24Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 13:26Sam Morril?

  I love that movie.

• 13:27Speaker 00

  And they're all, and they're linked, they both have Gay Perry in them.

• 13:29Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 13:30Speaker 00

  Gay Perry's in both of them, so that's the link and I, then hopefully there would be a third in the fucking trilogy. Yeah. But yeah, those movies are so good.

• 13:38Sam Morril?

  It's, dude, the, so you, yeah.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  Oh, this is.

• 13:41Sam Morril?

  This is the fan.

• 13:42Speaker 00

  You know how they play baseball like this in the rain? You know, they have the rain going and, uh.

• 13:47Sam Morril?

  Not to mention they're playing Nine Inch Nails, I Wanna Fuck You Like An Animal.

• 13:50Speaker 00

  Are they really?

• 13:51Sam Morril?

  While, while Benicio del Toro's getting like stabbed in the leg in the sauna.

• 13:54Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 13:55Sam Morril?

  It's one of the weirdest song choices for a guy getting murdered.

• 13:58Speaker 00

  You know this movie pretty damn well.

• 14:00Sam Morril?

  I saw it a bunch of times.

• 14:01Speaker 00

  Okay. The scene where he beats George Wendt to death is so creepy.

• 14:06Sam Morril?

  Cause he was like the catcher back in the day.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  But like he goes, we were, we were eight years old, like he's still obsessed with that.

• 14:12Sam Morril?

  Remember we won this, he goes, dude, we were eight.

• 14:14Speaker 00

  We were eight, and then he starts beating him to death, like, oh.

• 14:17Sam Morril?

  Cause he tries to get the, uh, he tries to save the kid and De Niro just beats him to death.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, right, right.

• 14:21Sam Morril?

  De Niro was on a run of playing psychopaths here.

• 14:23Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 14:24Sam Morril?

  He's like coming off Cape Fear.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  This was like, I gotta fuel my jet.

• 14:31Sam Morril?

  When De Niro, De Niro's so good, but when he's bad, it's almost better.

• 14:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah. He can get over the top. Yeah, I mean, when he, when you realize he, like, De Niro slipped into the five movies a year category for a while, you're like, really? You don't, you don't need, you can just pick what you want. I think you're kind of amazing.

• 14:50Sam Morril?

  There's a scene in the beginning of this movie, I've seen this too many times, where, where his kid's like, you know, you know, the new player, you know, Wesley Snipes is up and, and the kid goes, hit a grand slam. And he goes, don't be selfish. All we need is a sack fly. He's just like lecturing a child.

• 15:05Sam Morril?

  I know he's meant to be crazy, but it's like, it's one of those, but your movie Big Fan is actually like a really good movie.

• 15:10Speaker 00

  Great movie, yeah. Well, I mean, that was based on, the guy that wrote it, he was the editor of The Onion for years.

• 15:15Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 15:16Speaker 00

  Wrote Our Dumb Century and Wow. And he wrote the script for The Wrestler.

• 15:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's a great movie.

• 15:21Speaker 00

  Which is another great movie, and he took that money, and he had the script that got him The Wrestler job, to write The Wrestler, was this script called Paul Offiero, which turned into Big Fan. And he had been trying to get it made for 10 years, so he just took the Wrestler money and did a low-budget SAG thing, and he sent me the script and I read it, and it was so fr- not only was it good, like the kind of movies, I like those early 70s. Just a character study where you just drill down into someone. But the way they were gonna make it where it's like, I'm calling in favors, we're gonna shoot at this friend's house, this person's, like, it had that set, early 70s, we don't really have any money, let's just start. You know, there were no dressing rooms, the dressing room, my dressing room was the back of his car, and most of the clothes in that movie are just my clothes.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  You know, like, wear what you wanna wear. Yeah. And, um, and it was just based on years, you would listen to sports radio, I'm sure you guys

• 16:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:12Speaker 00

  have experiences, there are those guys who call in, and it's so clear, it's something that they've written down, and they're waiting, and it's, and it's, it's Tuesday, it's 4:17 PM, this is my time to call in. And, and you can tell the hosts are like, okay, it's Jerry again, Jerry, what's going on? Yeah. Well, first of all, I would like to just say, to the men, and they're just so tickled by it. Yeah, yeah. And then he goes, what, what happens if this guy goes all the way with it?

• 16:40Speaker 03

  What's this actor's name?

• 16:42Speaker 00

  Oh, that is, uh, Kevin, um, Oh, he's in everything.

• 16:45Sam Morril?

  Corrigan.

• 16:45Speaker 00

  Kevin Corrigan.

• 16:46Sam Morril?

  He's in The Departed, dude.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  And Buffalo 66, which is a similar thing where they try and

• 16:51Sam Morril?

  He's in a lot of movies, actually.

• 16:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:52Sam Morril?

  That guy's a really, yeah, really good character. Yes.

• 16:55Speaker 00

  He's young, he's in the, uh, he's in the wheelchair.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:57Speaker 00

  Right.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  I'm starring it.

• 16:59Speaker 00

  He is so fr- there's a scene, if you watch the beginning of the movie, we're driving along in a car and we're talking, um, and they're, and they're playing, um, Bob Seger over us, you don't hear what we're saying. Cause they wanted Kevin and I to improvise dialogue about sports, and I don't really follow sports, and neither does Kevin. So, I had like a couple of things I could say, and I just immediately said them, and then that's all I had, and then I kinda stopped, and then Kevin, who had nothing ready, there's this really long pause, and he just went, I love football.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  The director's like, cut. Here's what we're gonna do. You guys just talk about anything and then we're gonna play music. And I think we're just talking about movies. That's like a Ralph Wiggum moment. I love football.

• 17:46Sam Morril?

  Is he, is it, is the writer a huge sports guy or is he just fascinated with?

• 17:51Speaker 00

  He's both. He, he's fascinated, he, he's a big sports guy, but he is fascinated with obsessive. People, people that get like just so into something and that becomes their world.

• 18:02Sam Morril?

  Were you channeling something you are obsessed with into this?

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, like what? I'm one of those guys that if I need to, and you kinda saw a little bit of it earlier, I'm just like, oh, that was directed by Tony Scott. And the producer of that movie, like I just, for some reason, the way that people can spit out sports statistics, I can do that with films. I just, I'm into. I'm obsessed with all of the people that work on movies and all the weird connections of who knows what and all that shit. I love it. I just love it. It's in your act. What is it? A deathbed? The deathbed, the bed that eats. This weird little exploitation movie. Fuck, have you ever seen Deathbed? No, I couldn't find it. It says, well, now it's, there was a Blu-ray release. Cause it was a lost film. I'm upset, okay. The bed that eats. Bed that eats.

• 18:49Speaker 00

  There's a guy, oh my god, it's so bad. Although the father from Boy Meets World is in it, a very young. And again, young New York, just, I gotta, they're, they're making a, shooting a movie on Long Island. Fifty bucks, I need it. I'll do it. That's like when you watch those early Roger Corman movies and it's like, well, there's Robert De Niro, there, like all these massive stars are just like. Uh, it's 400 bucks a week. I really need it, man.

• 19:16Sam Morril?

  I love when you see like, in the movie The Verdict, you just see Bruce Willis as a jerk.

• 19:22Speaker 00

  And he's sitting next to Tobin Bell. He sits, so it's, John McClane is sitting next to Jigsaw while they're deciding this case. Big fan. It's so amazing. I love shit like that. But I love the, um, I'm obsessed with this guy. There's a filmmaker named Andy Milligan. And you don't need to, well, you actually go look up some of his stuff. He's maybe the worst filmmaker ever, but puts, really puts, um. Uh, Edward de Shane.

• 19:48Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  He's one of those guys that would crank out those movies that would show in the grindhouses on 42nd Street. To the point where, and they just recently found some of his movies, but like five of his movies were missing for years because during that time, they would, you know, send these movies to a grindhouse. Show it Friday, show it Saturday, and then Sunday, the theater would call the distributor and go, where do I mail this back? They'll go, oh, you can toss it. We don't, that's all the money it's gonna make. You don't need to send it back to us.

• 20:16Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 20:16Speaker 00

  So a lot of these movies just never got, if you weren't there that weekend, you never saw them.

• 20:21Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 20:21Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  Yeah. And his movies are so fucking bad.

• 20:25Sam Morril?

  They're just like slasher movies?

• 20:26Speaker 00

  They're, they're like weird slasher sex porn. Um, he, he shot them all out on Staten Island in this weird abandoned mansion that he lived in with all these freaks.

• 20:38Sam Morril?

  The rats are coming?

• 20:39Speaker 00

  The werewolves are here.

• 20:42Mark Normand?

  Werewolves are here, but the rats are coming.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  Okay. Do you know why that movie? Do you know, yeah. Look, the rats are coming. The werewolves are here, okay?

• 20:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Can we all be happy that the werewolves are here? The rats are coming.

• 20:54Mark Normand?

  They're with the werewolves now.

• 20:55Speaker 00

  The reason that movie is called The Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here, it was originally called The, The Werewolves Are Here. And then at the, that movie Willard came out. It was a mass hit and then producer was like, put The Rats Are Coming on. There's no rats in the movie. There's only one werewolf near the end.

• 21:11Sam Morril?

  Wasn't it a big movie, Willard?

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Oh, Willard was one of those tiny, tiny budgeted movies that ended made a ton.

• 21:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 00

  And I mean, they made a fucking sequel that Michael Jackson did the theme song to.

• 21:21Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 21:22Speaker 00

  Ben, his first number one hit is a love song to a psychotic rat. It's called Ben.

• 21:27Mark Normand?

  Is this the prequel to Ratatouille?

• 21:30Speaker 00

  I actually, I watched Willard last year and it's like incel Ratatouille basically. Cause he learns to control rats and he like has them eat Ernest Borgnine.

• 21:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:40Sam Morril?

  Holy shit.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  Fucking nuts.

• 21:41Sam Morril?

  One of my favorite things about Ernest Borgnine is one of his last movies was, uh, Basketball.

• 21:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:47Sam Morril?

  I just love that he's in that movie.

• 21:48Speaker 00

  He was in that?

• 21:50Sam Morril?

  Yes. He plays the owner who dies choking on a hot dog in like the first scene. And then he does a I'm too sexy for my shirt dance. Basketball is pretty fucking funny, actually.

• 21:59Mark Normand?

  So funny. Little bitch. Good times.

• 22:01Sam Morril?

  I love that movie.

• 22:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yasmin Bleef?

• 22:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 22:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, all their early stuff was, you've seen Cannibal the Musical, right?

• 22:08Sam Morril?

  No.

• 22:08Mark Normand?

  No.

• 22:09Speaker 00

  Cannibal, he did a really early one that, uh, the South Park guys did. It's all about the Donner Party, but it's a musical.

• 22:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, fun.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  And it is catchy. And again, yes, it's funny, but also you're watching it going, these songs are pretty good.

• 22:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:23Sam Morril?

  That's a crazy thing, dude. I went to this thing for Stephen Sondheim when he passed away, and there was a note in there that he wrote to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and he was like,

• 22:30Mark Normand?

  What?

• 22:30Sam Morril?

  "I would be humbled to work with you guys." And I was like, this is amazing.

• 22:34Mark Normand?

  Wow, that must have felt good.

• 22:37Sam Morril?

  Their songs are fucking, South Park, the movie, the songs are like genius.

• 22:41Mark Normand?

  America, fuck, yeah.

• 22:42Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  Not only, here we go.

• 22:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 22:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, there he is.

• 22:53Mark Normand?

  See, these guys are for the love of the game.

• 22:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, they just love it.

• 22:56Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 22:57Speaker 06

  I'm Alfred Packer. This is my horse, Leanne.

• 23:02Speaker 06

  In the tradition of Friday the 13th, part two, and Oklahoma comes the first intelligent film about cannibalism.

• 23:15Mark Normand?

  Intelligent film about cannibalism.

• 23:17Speaker 00

  And it's distributed by Troma, of course.

• 23:19Mark Normand?

  What's that?

• 23:20Speaker 00

  Troma is this, Troma is the new, like Roger Corman, if you want to go make a movie, Troma's ready to make a movie with you. They will, but you gotta do it really quick for no money, but it's where James Gunn came out of.

• 23:32Sam Morril?

  Oh, sure.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  The Superman guy, he started at Troma, and he puts Lloyd Kaufman, Lloyd Kaufman is the Troma guy, he puts Lloyd in all of his movies.

• 23:40Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  And one of Lloyd Kaufman, they did Toxic Avenger, Tromeo and Juliet, like all these Samurai Cop. But they, um, he also, one of his earliest movies that he produced was My Dinner with Andre.

• 23:54Sam Morril?

  Holy shit.

• 23:55Speaker 00

  So, because Lloyd's like, why not? Let's just, two guys, let's do it. Let's see if it works.

• 23:59Sam Morril?

  I mean, it is a low budget.

• 24:00Speaker 00

  It's just, yeah, we can shoot it in a couple of days.

• 24:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:04Speaker 00

  Boom.

• 24:04Sam Morril?

  The expensive scene is him thinking on the subway.

• 24:07Speaker 00

  That was, yeah, that's where they had to actually get crew people down there, otherwise you could lock the camera down and go to lunch and come back.

• 24:12Mark Normand?

  Man, whatever.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  Did you guys talk? Good, okay, we got it.

• 24:15Mark Normand?

  Whatever female fans we had on this show are completely gone after, uh...

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, to quote Dana Gould, "This conversation is the leading cause of vaginal dryness."

• 24:26Sam Morril?

  Dana sends me some of the best movie and book recs ever.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Oh, fuck, man.

• 24:30Sam Morril?

  He always sends me like, it's always some like Hollywood murder. I just read something he sent about, uh, the John Stompanato, uh.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  Johnny Stompanato, uh, stabbed to death by, uh, the daughter, Lana Turner's daughter.

• 24:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  Holy shit, yeah, that was, uh.

• 24:45Sam Morril?

  Dana's always sending me great stuff. He's got great taste.

• 24:49Mark Normand?

  We mentioned Ratatouille. Those, that mailbox money's gotta be pretty sweet. I mean, the residuals from that, it's on all the time. It's a great flick. Kids love it.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  I, I, I love how people think that like, oh, if you're in a successful movie, the fucking money just rolls in. I mean, you get, you get paid nicely, but it's actually a very tiny, just like there's a very tiny portion of like professional athletes that actually make a crazy good living at it. And, you know, the rest of your, there's a tiny portion of people that just sit back and collect residuals.

• 25:19Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:20Speaker 00

  On mass things. Usually you're, you are like down the trough a little bit, especially on like.

• 25:26Mark Normand?

  You're the lead.

• 25:26Speaker 00

  Ratatouille isn't Patton Oswalt in Ratatouille.

• 25:29Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  It's a Pixar film, Ratatouille.

• 25:32Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:32Sam Morril?

  But that was like the beginning of Pixar dominating, I feel like.

• 25:35Speaker 00

  Well, that was that when they were, and they're really like, every Pixar movie is an event.

• 25:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  And we don't really need to advertise it. And then they started doing, you know, now it's, their, their movies are still good, but like, remember they used to put out one a year and it was a huge deal?

• 25:49Mark Normand?

  Bangers.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  When it came out and they were all just boom, boom, boom.

• 25:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 00

  And now they're, they, um, I don't know, I haven't seen the latest one though, so I can't, I can't say.

• 25:57Sam Morril?

  I heard Bourdain said that Ratatouille was his favorite food movie.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  Whoa. Well, he said he, they said they got all the kitchen shit right because A, everyone that works in a kitchen is, is either psychotic or has a really fucked up past. And if you notice, when they go through all the cooks, they're all like. Something this guy was kinda running guns and this dude was like, it's where you end up where no one else will hire you.

• 26:21Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 26:22Speaker 00

  And then they also got, all, all the, the floor tiles are all fucked up, um, cause of all the hot stuff hitting him. And there's always a, there's always a big pot of potatoes getting peeled.

• 26:31Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 26:32Speaker 00

  Cause you always had to have potatoes raised, there's always just there. And, uh, and yeah, and, and it's all stress and screaming and everyone freaking out. They, they got all, I don't know. I, I did line cook stuff when I was like a teenager.

• 26:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 00

  But it was at a real shithole restaurant. I wasn't have that high pressure.

• 26:47Mark Normand?

  Sure, no sous chef.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  Fucking critics in here and there was, nobody was coming into, uh, Frank's Family Restaurant in Sugar Land Run to write up a, a critique.

• 26:55Mark Normand?

  Gordon Ramsay didn't come in there and yell at you?

• 26:57Speaker 00

  No, not really, yeah. This pizza's frozen. Yeah, fuck off dude. We're the suburbs of Virginia. What are you expecting here?

• 27:04Sam Morril?

  Do you see that clip of him and that guy just going at it?

• 27:06Mark Normand?

  No.

• 27:07Sam Morril?

  This is a white guy who's talking like he's black. Have you seen that clip?

• 27:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, I can't wait.

• 27:11Sam Morril?

  Oh, it's fucking incredible. I mean, I don't know how staged this is, but it's, it's pretty great, but.

• 27:16Mark Normand?

  I watched that show.

• 27:17Sam Morril?

  Versus Guy, I don't know.

• 27:18Mark Normand?

  Every episode he, he has shirtless at one point. He does the, the take off the shirt, put on the chef thing. Oh, yeah.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Who does?

• 27:27Mark Normand?

  Ramsay. Every episode he gets shirtless. Yeah, he has to take off his T-shirt and put on the chef outfit like Superman.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  So he makes sure to write, I, look, in my contract.

• 27:35Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 27:36Speaker 00

  I gotta be switching, oh, Mr. Ramsay.

• 27:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:40Sam Morril?

  No, they'll pull up the fight scene with, with the guy, uh.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  How many shows does he have now? He has like five shows, doesn't he?

• 27:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  There's like ones with kids and there's ones with, oh my god.

• 27:52Mark Normand?

  There's a kid one? I didn't see that. He just goes to daycares. He's like, this is filthy. He's a pedophile. Speaking of mailbox money, you see that John Krasinski thing?

• 28:00Sam Morril?

  What?

• 28:01Mark Normand?

  You know the office, the opening? Do, do, do, do, with the showing pictures of Scranton? He shot all that on a, on a, on a, uh, like a trip, a road trip with his friends and he showed it to Greg Daniels. And Daniels was like, can I use this for the opening? And he was like, sure. And Gil goes, I'll give you a thousand bucks for it. And he goes, of course, take it. I'm just happy to have the role. He would have made zillions.

• 28:20Speaker 00

  Just from that still playing over.

• 28:22Sam Morril?

  He's doing alright.

• 28:23Speaker 00

  I'm sure he's doing fine, but he would have made, you know, millions and millions. A lot of, uh, I'm sure you guys know this, a lot of sitcoms. Oh, oh, hang on. Alright. So how did he end up doing?

• 28:36Speaker 00

  Did he make it to the final? How was, how was, how were his soups?

• 28:41Speaker 00

  How do you like them apples? I love. I love on shows where it's all skill based, like it has nothing to do with like how you play the game or how you do anything mentally. It's just your fucking skills, like cooking or sewing, and there's always one person, I didn't come here to make friends. Yeah, every time. It doesn't matter if you have friends or not, you can either cook or you can't. No one gives a shit.

• 29:02Sam Morril?

  This is all American TV though. You watch like the Great British Bake Off, they're all just friends. They're all like sweet to each other.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, they don't.

• 29:09Sam Morril?

  This is America.

• 29:10Speaker 00

  Oh, I was, okay, my, um, uh, my, my first wife, uh, before he was ever the first bachelor, she dated the first bachelor, that guy, Alex Michelle, before he was, before, you know, he was like a Harvard guy. And they stayed friends after they dated and she said when, um, he was doing the show, they would, again, this is, this isn't anything new, but you know this about reality shows. They would at the end of the, the drama episode, they'd all just get together and go, okay, who can still stay like, I can stay, do three more weeks and I gotta go. Okay. Well, so then make sure to give her a rose, but then you're gonna cut her in three weeks. And there's a couple of other people like.

• 29:45Sam Morril?

  Wait, you're saying it's not real?

• 29:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm sorry, man. Oh shit. Fuck, damn it, man.

• 29:50Sam Morril?

  God damn.

• 29:51Speaker 00

  That's all I have. Cause he has that other podcast about the back.

• 29:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 29:55Speaker 00

  Fuck. The whole thing was just, and there was like a couple of people that were clearly psychotic that he's like, we're gonna send them home, right? They're like, can we keep him around for a little bit? Cause it's, you know, it's just good. Can't keep, you can't kick him out now. You gotta keep him around. Yeah. So it's all. You know, they did a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and all the women got along, so they couldn't air it.

• 30:14Mark Normand?

  What? Yeah, they were just like, this is boring. There's no fighting, there's no drama, there's no fuck you bitch.

• 30:19Sam Morril?

  No, you need toxic people for that.

• 30:20Mark Normand?

  You need it. Yes.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  Or you need people that are willing to go, hey, can you fucking do it with her? And you get mad and absolutely, yeah, done. Cause a lot of them are building little brands outside of it, so like, yeah, I'll do this right now.

• 30:32Mark Normand?

  Exactly. I did Last Comic Standing and they were like, what's your story? And I was like, well, I'm probably gonna lose, you know, that guy's better than me. And they're like, what are you doing?

• 30:39Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 30:39Mark Normand?

  You gotta, you gotta say you hate that guy.

• 30:41Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, I was on AGT and they were like, I was like, they were like, how badly do you want to win this? I'm like, the winner has to do a residency in Vegas? They're like, yeah, I'm like, I don't want to win.

• 30:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they don't want that.

• 30:49Sam Morril?

  And they're like, what? I'm like, nah, I was like, top five is fine, but I don't want to win.

• 30:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, you completely.

• 30:53Sam Morril?

  And they were like, you can't say it.

• 30:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Said he did one season, they didn't use any camera air tying him with him. And then he said the next season, he was like, I'm homeless. And they were like, you're the guy. What? Yeah, I don't know if I was supposed to say that. He told me that, but. Yeah, the homeless thing, they need an angle, they need a hook.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, they always need that hook. They don't want, they don't want happy, well-adjusted people quietly going about their creative career. They want a, a fucking train on fire.

• 31:17Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  Crashing into a mine and killing a bunch of people.

• 31:21Mark Normand?

  Yes, I was in the second tower, I got out. They want the whole thing.

• 31:26Sam Morril?

  No, one comic tried that.

• 31:29Speaker 00

  I mean, look, he got pretty far, let's, let's give him some, he, he rode it as long as he could.

• 31:33Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  There's a lot of people doing that where you can tell like, oh, they're just gonna see, how far can I ride this?

• 31:38Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 31:38Speaker 00

  And it, it will, it will crash, but I'll get this far with it and then let's see what we can do.

• 31:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Didn't Brian Williams say he was like in the war?

• 31:46Sam Morril?

  He, he lied about something, yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 00

  He said he was in a helicopter.

• 31:49Mark Normand?

  Being shot at or something?

• 31:50Speaker 03

  He said that his helicopter was shot at, but it was a helicopter in front of him.

• 31:53Sam Morril?

  I think it was in your half hour present.

• 31:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:56Sam Morril?

  About how they're all, they all want to be like Edward R. Murrow, but they're all.

• 31:59Speaker 00

  They're in a fucking.

• 31:59Sam Morril?

  They're all safe.

• 32:00Speaker 00

  Days in, in the green zone, they could not be closer. Yeah, we can see the, uh, we use the zoom lenses. And I'll never forget when I zoomed in on that village on fire five miles away from me. That changes you. It changes you, you know? It really does. Yeah, they're always trying to like amp that. They want that, that fucking CV of I was in the middle of the fucking shit.

• 32:23Sam Morril?

  Well dude, you brought up your first wife, her book. We do recs on this pod. I'll Be Gone in the Dark is.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 32:28Sam Morril?

  That is one of the best books I've ever read.

• 32:30Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 32:31Sam Morril?

  I think I messaged you when I read it, but I was like, I mean, it was, and you did a prologue thing that was so good too.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, we did a little afterword on it, because she, obviously she wasn't able to finish it, but she did a lot of stuff in the book that helped to, I mean, people get, there's, again, trolls online. You say she fucking captured him single-handedly. I never fucking said that. I said there's shit in the book that was then used and it helped it along. No, there's no single person that swoops in and throws the fucking batarang at the villain and knocks him out. It's a collective team effort and she contributed to it and but she did do some, and there was.

• 33:09Sam Morril?

  It's written like a noir. It's incredible. It's like, it's.

• 33:12Speaker 00

  Very novelistic.

• 33:13Sam Morril?

  If you haven't read it, you should. It's about the East Area Rapist and it's, dude, it's.

• 33:18Speaker 00

  Well, she really captures how paranoid people were in those neighborhoods at the time up in Sacramento. It was how people were like hanging tambourines from their doorknobs. They were so terrified of any, and they were all like, keep your lights on and they would have community meetings and it was just, the paranoia was insane.

• 33:38Mark Normand?

  Jesus, and the doc was great too.

• 33:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:41Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 33:41Speaker 00

  There was, there was a weird bit of kind of sick irony, I guess, when, when they did the, when they caught him and they were doing the press conference and someone asked, did the writer Michelle McNamara, did he, did she, any of her work have anything to do with, and then this cop was like, Michelle McNamara's work had nothing to do with the capture of the Golden State Killer. And Golden State Killer was the name she gave him. That was the reason that the case, as Paul Hull said, and this is a really sick thing. A lot of times cases go cold because they don't give the killer a cool name. Like, like if you don't give him a cool name like Night Stalker or Zodiac. His, he was like east area rapist, original, eh, just kinda, eh.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  So then she said Golden State Killer and that kinda reignited the case.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  Wasn't he also called the Night Stalker and then there was like another Night Stalker?

• 34:32Sam Morril?

  That was Richard Ramirez.

• 34:33Speaker 00

  The original Night Stalker after the Night Stalker. To add even more confusion to it, there was the Night Stalker and then there was an article where they went, "Well, we should call him the original Night Stalker." Like, what the fuck are you? Even the cops like, "What are you doing? No, we're not trying to do that."

• 34:49Sam Morril?

  It's like the whole HBO Max problem.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. They keep changing the thing. There, I also love the, um, uh, uh, the, him in court in his wheelchair and he's so fucking frail. And then you can, there's the footage of him going into his cell after he's been sentenced. Me, like, out of the chair, starts doing pull-ups, like, "Well, that didn't work. I tried. Thought it might help. Eh, fuck it. Whatever." Yeah.

• 35:12Mark Normand?

  Did you, did you guys watch that Night Stalker, the other one?

• 35:14Sam Morril?

  The Netflix one?

• 35:15Mark Normand?

  The Netflix one? It was just a bunch of like neighborhood guys who caught the guy. They beat the hell out of him.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  It, like the, like the cops kinda had to save him.

• 35:22Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 35:22Speaker 00

  They were gonna kill him.

• 35:23Mark Normand?

  They were gonna kill him.

• 35:24Sam Morril?

  Badass. I love it.

• 35:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, they spotted him, uh.

• 35:27Sam Morril?

  Sometimes vigilante justice is kinda cool.

• 35:28Speaker 00

  Oh, I love it. Yeah, yeah. Well, again, that's the one, that's the exception that proves the rule. Like, they, they were right. Maybe leave it to the one.

• 35:36Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. Cause a lot of the vigilante shit isn't working right now.

• 35:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah. True, true. But, but, uh, yeah, man, I was, I, I was reading this book by this guy Matt Murphy called, uh, The Book of Murder and he was, he's like, he, he's like the California prosecutor who did like every case. He did like, uh, the dating game killer guy, uh, Alcala.

• 35:56Speaker 00

  Rodney.

• 35:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Rodney Alcala.

• 35:58Mark Normand?

  Saw the movie.

• 35:59Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, it's so good. It's like, uh, yeah, he's like, he's a good writer, but it's like every, every, all these cases of people who are just fucking insane.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  Right.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  What was going on in Northern California at that time, the seventies?

• 36:11Mark Normand?

  That's a good question.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 00

  Well, what was going on in Northern California and what was going on up in the Pacific Northwest?

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Oh, I heard. Did you hear this recently? There's an article about lead poisoning?

• 36:20Speaker 00

  They, they think that, yeah, this woman wrote a whole book about all the chemicals up there she thinks caused. But then again, that there were also millions of people that were living in Tacoma, the Tacoma aroma and, and all this stuff.

• 36:32Sam Morril?

  Smells so bad.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 36:34Sam Morril?

  Such a bad smell there.

• 36:35Speaker 00

  But that they didn't become killers. So it seems a little weird. I mean, I, I, again, I wouldn't surprise me if. Didn't it, once they took lead out of gasoline, the homicide rate went down? There wasn't this surge?

• 36:47Sam Morril?

  And IQs went up.

• 36:48Speaker 00

  And IQs went up, yeah.

• 36:50Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  So that, I think that's part of it, but, uh, yeah, but there is a Ted Bundy, Green River Killer, um, who else was up there? There was a bunch of people up in the Pacific Northwest.

• 37:01Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:02Speaker 00

  Although, if you go to the Pacific Northwest, it is also so goddamn gloomy.

• 37:05Mark Normand?

  It's gloomy, it's spooky.

• 37:07Speaker 00

  There's a reason that grunge came out of there.

• 37:08Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 37:09Speaker 00

  There's a very specific reason why Nirvana and Pearl Jam came out of the Pacific Northwest. There's a fucking mood.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Ted Bundy, The Green River Killer, um, this guy Weston Allen Dodd, who I don't know.

• 37:21Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  Oh, Wesley Allen Dodd.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Wesley, sorry.

• 37:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Ruby Ridge? Is that up there? I thought that was in the Midwest.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  I think it's in Idaho, but I'm looking.

• 37:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 37:29Sam Morril?

  Idaho's got some dark shit happening.

• 37:31Mark Normand?

  It's wacky over there. There's too much space. Cordillane. Yeah.

• 37:35Speaker 00

  Cordillane, Idaho, there's some, uh, there's some weirdness.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's right up there in the Pacific Northwest. That's that same sludgy.

• 37:41Mark Normand?

  Kiss it a little bit, yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:43Mark Normand?

  Right, yeah.

• 37:44Sam Morril?

  There's a lot of sad stories just out of there. You're right, the space, like, uh, when I had the flu, I was, I was, that movie Into the Wild was on, I was like, this is like the saddest story.

• 37:54Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:54Sam Morril?

  Cause that was, that's just a dude who, he was like, I'm bored.

• 37:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, right, yeah.

• 37:59Sam Morril?

  It's just, you know, I'm gonna just live in the wilderness.

• 38:02Speaker 00

  But also, like, the massiveness of, if you, I've, I've, I've done, like, you know, uh, Wichita and all the plains states, Nebraska and stuff like that, Omaha, and, um, the, the vastness out there really creeps me out. I'm not meant to live out on the plains.

• 38:18Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 38:18Speaker 00

  They really, there is something.

• 38:20Sam Morril?

  Meanwhile, they're listening to this, like, you live literally in a 400 square foot apartment.

• 38:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly.

• 38:24Mark Normand?

  With hobos throwing shit at you.

• 38:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, but like, but I think there are cer- look, there are certain people who absolutely belong on the plains and will thrive there and would go insane in a city, just like someone who's actually comfortable in a, literally living in a utility closet.

• 38:38Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 38:39Speaker 00

  Uh, would, you take them out on the plains and they just start killing everybody.

• 38:41Mark Normand?

  Exact- well, there's a creepiness out there, where you kill your wife in the, in the basement, you know, or you tie up a kid. Out here, at least it's out in front. You know, you see a hobo jerking off, you're like, alright, I know he's there, he's out of my house.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Also, if you kill a family member, it's hours toward any food, like here.

• 38:57Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 38:58Speaker 00

  You kill someone, you walk down, you get a slice, 3:00 in the morning, they're open, like, bodega. You can maybe, and maybe like- Maybe, you know, did you want to kill your partner, or were you just hungry?

• 39:08Mark Normand?

  Or bored.

• 39:09Speaker 00

  You're not gonna, yeah, exactly. It's gonna be, you gotta, you gotta render a deer and-

• 39:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, you know how black people say, "I like a, uh, what are the rebel flags? I know the racist guy is there," or whatever. It's almost better to have it. That's how I feel about the guy jerking it. I'm like, "I know he's there."

• 39:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, there he is.

• 39:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, um, the, you know, ever heard of prairie death? Those flat, those flat lands out there, you know, some guy and his wife on a farm, and he would just end up killing her. Cause it was just the same thing every day, just farm work. She's the only thing you know. You never see other people. There's no TV, there's no nothing. You just, just learn to hate each other.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  There's a weird little indie horror movie called The Wind, and it's about settlers on the plains, and how the wind drove them crazy. And there's, there's an amazing book called, uh, Wisconsin Death Trip. And it's, and it's all about like, all the madness that was going on out there in the plains, like in the 1800s. All these newspaper articles about people, settlers, that weren't used to that landscape, going out there and going fucking nuts.

• 40:10Mark Normand?

  It's like the earth is flat. You just can never, there's no hump.

• 40:13Speaker 00

  It never ends.

• 40:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we talk about phones making us crazy, but that's, this seems worse.

• 40:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's the other end of it. Yeah, phones is too much stimulus. That's not enough.

• 40:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 40:21Speaker 00

  Right. Yeah, you're right. There's, there's a, there's a just right, and we've missed it twice now.

• 40:27Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 40:27Speaker 00

  First, we got that there's no stimulus. Now, we're overstimulated. We're going crazy.

• 40:32Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 40:32Speaker 00

  We gotta get the just right.

• 40:34Mark Normand?

  The rats are coming, was, that was it. That was the peak, peak in entertainment.

• 40:39Speaker 00

  I love that there's a movie titled that, that just sounds like your mom who's just had it with you. The rats are, the werewolves are here, alright? And the rats are coming. Oh, my god.

• 40:51Sam Morril?

  Dude, I was going through IMDb and, uh, how cool is it to be unjustified? You're so good on that show.

• 40:56Speaker 00

  You're on every show! That fucking show is so good.

• 41:00Sam Morril?

  It's amazing. I love that show.

• 41:02Speaker 00

  Getting to do, first, no-

• 41:05Sam Morril?

  And you play kind of a badass on it.

• 41:06Speaker 00

  Well, I play a guy you don't realize is a badass until, like, there's certain people that, they're just, they're animal kingdom badasses. Where they're, they're badass if they're buying a bagel. Like, they're just badass all the time. And I'm the kind of character that's, um, I'm badass when the shit finally comes down. But in everyday life, I'm just a kind of a schlub and, you know, very, and it's based-

• 41:28Speaker 00

  The character I play is based on a guy they met down there. Hmm. Who was a constable who said, yeah, this is a position, you have to run for it. I have to buy all the lights on my car. I have to buy all my own equipment. It's like a guy who wants to be a cop. Right. But they, and it's an elected official, and they went, okay, let's make him a character. And then they decided, okay, let's have him go through one of the gnarliest fucking torture scenes. Yeah.

• 41:51Mark Normand?

  Now, when you audition, are you like, I'm not getting this. I'm not cop guy.

• 41:54Speaker 00

  Um.

• 41:55Mark Normand?

  I'm not badass.

• 41:56Speaker 00

  I was a little worried just because I was a huge fan of the show. Hmm. Before I got on it and, and I just, the people that are on that show, um, Jerry Burns and Timothy Olyphant and, and Nick Searcy, like all these amazing character actors. And I'm like, oh God, I don't want to be a shitty part of a great show. Like it's, it's good to be like, if you're great in something shitty, people go, hey, you did a good job. Movie wasn't good. But if you are on a show that's already great, you're coming in season four, you're like, all I can do is fuck this up. Right, right. You're really, really worried. I don't want to be Cousin Oliver. Yeah. You know, like I want to add to this. Yeah.

• 42:31Sam Morril?

  Dude, Walton Goggins too on that show, so freaking good.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  Oh God. Goggins was, I mean.

• 42:36Sam Morril?

  To play a likeable white supremacist. I'm like, man, you're fucking good. You're a good actor.

• 42:42Speaker 00

  Well, you're weird. And, and also the, the fact that all of the, um, half the time, it's Elmore Leonard. The women are leading the men around by their noses. They just don't realize it. Yeah. Like it's all about these badass dudes and then behind them is a woman just manipulating them and getting to do. Exact, I mean, season two.

• 43:02Sam Morril?

  Margot Martindale?

• 43:04Speaker 00

  Margot Martindale.

• 43:05Sam Morril?

  She won the award, I think.

• 43:05Speaker 00

  She won the Emmy.

• 43:06Sam Morril?

  She's unreal in it.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  And she was unreal and I think they were thinking of keeping her alive and then they realized, well, no, if we keep her alive, that should just, then that'll be the show.

• 43:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah, look at Elmore Leonard's fucking books there. That's crazy.

• 43:19Speaker 00

  So they gave her a, uh, they gave her an amazing death.

• 43:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:23Sam Morril?

  It was, dude, that season was incredible. That show is so, the writing, that's the thing too, like you get gifted with this great dialogue if you adapt Elmore Leonard stuff, but.

• 43:33Speaker 00

  It's just right there.

• 43:34Sam Morril?

  But then also you're like, man, the bar is so high, you don't want to fuck it up.

• 43:37Speaker 00

  Right. Well, you gotta, what you gotta do, because I read a lot of Elmore Leonard, you have to deliver it the way he writes it, which is super simple. Yeah. Mean to like, do the least you can possibly do with it, that's how it'll work the best. If you watch Timothy Oliver on the show, there's no effort in how he's delivering anything. Like, that's the true badass, they're just completely calm and, alright, here's what we're gonna do right now and that. That scene when he is going up against Wyn Duffy and he just knocks him to the ground, takes one bullet out of his gun and drops it on his chest and goes, "Next one's gonna come a lot quicker." And then just leaves, like, oh my god.

• 44:14Mark Normand?

  That's fun.

• 44:14Sam Morril?

  Who is that, what's his name, the guy who plays Wyn Duffy?

• 44:16Speaker 00

  Sherry Burns.

• 44:17Sam Morril?

  He's incredible.

• 44:18Speaker 00

  God, he's so good. That line where, because he's always in his RV, he's like trying to be this kinda on-the-road, uh, uh, crime lord. And when, uh, when Timothy Oliver is threatening him outside his RV and then he just goes, "Well, it's been nice talking to you, I'm gonna go inside and watch women's tennis."

• 44:39Mark Normand?

  So I gotta ask, well, hopefully, I'm a little hungover, so I hope I got the right movie. You made out with Charlize Theron in a movie?

• 44:46Speaker 00

  Made out with Charlize Theron.

• 44:47Mark Normand?

  Wow, come on!

• 44:49Speaker 00

  That movie, uh, it's called Young Adult.

• 44:52Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 44:53Speaker 00

  And, uh, it's, uh, Jason Reitman, Diablo Cody wrote it, and fucking Charlize Theron. She's one of those, um, actors, kinda puts the method to shame because she can fall into, she plays such a despicable person in this movie.

• 45:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  But you can't stop watching her because she, like, how can a person be this shitty?

• 45:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and you kinda know that person.

• 45:16Sam Morril?

  She looks like Charlize Theron, so that's why you can't stop watching.

• 45:19Speaker 00

  Get away with it. But then, they would yell, "Cut!", and she'd go, she'd be Charlize, and hey, what's going on? They're just talking, they're really chill, and then action, and then just drop, right? I worked with some actresses who were like, "I'm gonna be in character, and so while we're on this thing, I'm gonna be kinda weird."

• 45:33Sam Morril?

  Who stays in character that you worked with?

• 45:35Speaker 00

  I don't wanna name, but...

• 45:36Sam Morril?

  Okay.

• 45:37Speaker 00

  Oh, no, no, okay, I'll, actually, I'll say one because he was actually kinda cool about it, he was very nice. But when I did, um, Man on the Moon with Jim Carrey.

• 45:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, god.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  You met him in the morning, he was like, "Hi, I'm Jim, welcome to the thing. Uh, I'm gonna be Andy the rest of this, I'm just letting you know." But he would, he would do that thing where he would at least say hello to you.

• 45:53Mark Normand?

  That's nice.

• 45:54Speaker 00

  And then he'd go and hit Andy.

• 45:56Sam Morril?

  They'd let you know they're gonna be crazy the rest of the day.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly, yeah, and, and then it, it worked, like, but he was so committed, so committed that in my scene... I'm supposed to say, because he's working at Jerry's Deli and I'm a diner in Jerry's Deli and I go, "Hey, aren't you Andy Kaufman?" And for some reason, it was like 6 a.m. and I was really tired and went, actually went, "Aren't you Jim Carrey?"

• 46:18Mark Normand?

  Ah!

• 46:19Speaker 00

  They're like, "Cut!" And then he started laughing as Andy Kaufman, like, "I don't know who Jim Carrey is."

• 46:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, no!

• 46:25Speaker 00

  But he stayed there. I'm like, "Oh, fuck, I blew this."

• 46:27Mark Normand?

  Was that a nightmare a little bit? You're at the craft service, like, "Come on, Jim, what are we doing here?"

• 46:31Speaker 00

  Oh, I was not gonna bother him. I wasn't gonna, no. If a guy, if someone's doing that, let them do that if that's what they need. Although, somebody did point out, it is kinda interesting, I mean, Jim Carrey was an exception because he was so nice.

• 46:43Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 46:43Speaker 00

  But a lot of times when people are going, "I'm method and I need to be in my character", it's always when they're playing assholes.

• 46:51Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's a great point!

• 46:52Speaker 00

  It's never when they're playing a really nice guy and they want it like-

• 46:53Speaker 07

  Well, Lincoln, right? Daniel Day-Lewis?

• 46:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:56Mark Normand?

  There will be blood.

• 46:57Speaker 00

  Well, not just Lincoln, um, uh, Gangs of New York.

• 46:59Speaker 07

  Oh, my god.

• 47:00Speaker 00

  He got pneumonia because he wouldn't, um, wear clothing, they had like special clothing that would keep them warm. He goes, "I will only wear period clothing."

• 47:09Mark Normand?

  Whoa, that's crazy!

• 47:11Speaker 00

  And he got himself sick and, and so he was like, "I will not do anything outside of this."

• 47:14Mark Normand?

  That'd be fun if he was so method he got typhoid, like he got an old, old disease. Yeah, but Charlize, I mean, come on, that was a hot scene.

• 47:23Speaker 00

  It was amazing.

• 47:23Mark Normand?

  When you got the part, you must've been like, "Yes!"

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Well, it was yes, but it was also like, "So I'm gonna be nude next to one of the most physically perfect human being, like, I can't do a nude scene with John Goodman or Paul Giamatti, it has to be with this Nexus 6 android, like,

• 47:43Mark Normand?

  Right!

• 47:43Speaker 00

  Literally no flaws, like, it could not just, yeah, it was a little weird.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  Can I play this clip real quick? It's, uh, Norm interviewing Jim Carrey about Man on the Moon.

• 47:53Speaker 07

  Oh, nice.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  He says, "Do you remember when you came and visited the set?"

• 47:59Speaker 07

  Remember when you came and visited the set of, uh, Andy, of, uh, Man on the Moon? Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. I was also in the film.

• 48:13Sam Morril?

  That's great. I heard they tried to make a young adult too and they couldn't get it moving, right?

• 48:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's about Epstein Island.

• 48:19Speaker 00

  They tried to make it into a TV series and it, yeah, we were going to be on a cruise together. She gets something like tickets to a cruise, something and has literally no one to take with her. She just goes, alright, and then she takes me. And then we have this weird misadventure and it never, just never happened.

• 48:35Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 48:36Sam Morril?

  God, it's hard to sell shit.

• 48:37Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 48:37Speaker 00

  It is very, the stuff that you find out later that doesn't sell is baffling. I found out a few years ago, there is, I guess, maybe there's a reason for this. This is way before Lin-Manuel did Hamilton, so he wasn't Lin-Manuel Miranda yet. But he and Weird Al Yankovic were developing a musical based on that documentary, The King of Kong.

• 49:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, I love that doc.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  The guy that's obsessed with Donkey Kong and then the villain and stuff. And they could not, could not give it away to people on Broadway.

• 49:09Mark Normand?

  What?

• 49:09Speaker 00

  And it never happened. And then, of course, Lin became massive and he just.

• 49:12Sam Morril?

  Right. I wonder why they don't try to remake it now. It could be so cool.

• 49:15Speaker 00

  Maybe they'll go back to it, I don't know, but like it would be that, did you watch Weird Al's movie, that Weird movie that he did?

• 49:21Sam Morril?

  I saw parts, I didn't see the whole thing, but I love what I saw, yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 00

  It is such a piss take on every music biopic.

• 49:29Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 49:30Speaker 00

  Cause midway through, you know, they completely throw the facts overboard, like, like you were saying, look, this actually isn't an interesting story because he's just a nice guy who got married and he doesn't drink. So they just completely go off the rails to make it an interesting movie and it's complete bullshit.

• 49:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  And it's one of the funniest, it's up that and that movie Walk Hard.

• 49:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, classic.

• 49:55Speaker 00

  Those two were an amazing, uh, double feature where they just fucking make fun of everything.

• 50:00Mark Normand?

  Boy, they're churning out the biopics. Now we got the Bruce Springsteen one, we had the Bob Dylan. Um, we had Elton John before that, we had Freddie Mercury.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  Who would be a really, I, I, I just saw that Becoming Led Zeppelin documentary.

• 50:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, I watched it too.

• 50:15Speaker 00

  It was good, but it was like, because it had so much absolute band approval. Obviously, we're not gonna get into the weirdness, because there was some weirdness attached to their genius.

• 50:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 50:25Speaker 00

  That they're clearly like, we're not talking about that stuff.

• 50:28Mark Normand?

  We're just gonna talk about the. The blues music stuff.

• 50:31Sam Morril?

  The underage stuff.

• 50:32Speaker 00

  Teenagers.

• 50:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, right.

• 50:34Sam Morril?

  I had a woman lecture, I had a woman lecture me about Woody Allen and I met a girl in a bar on Friday and she was lecturing me about like how Woody Allen sucks. And I was like, have you seen any of his movies? And she's like, no. I was like, well, then you can't just say that.

• 50:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:45Sam Morril?

  And literally fucking Zeppelin's playing in the bar.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 50:48Sam Morril?

  It was cashmere was on. And I was like, I was like, do you like this song? And she goes, I do. I go, he fucked a 14 year old.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:54Sam Morril?

  I was like, you should like.

• 50:55Mark Normand?

  We could do this all day.

• 50:56Sam Morril?

  Separate some stuff is all I'm saying. And she was like, no. I was like, alright.

• 51:00Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 51:00Speaker 00

  Well, it's up to, I think it's up to each person. What are you able to separate and what are you not? I mean, one of the, one of my top 10 movies of the 21st century was the Mel Gibson movie Apocalypto. I mean, I, I, I completely hate Mel Gibson and everything he stands for.

• 51:17Sam Morril?

  Have you met him?

• 51:18Speaker 00

  I've never, well, I met him very briefly and he, again, he's very nice, but the shit that he does, this is like, what the fuck dude?

• 51:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  But he's also a brilliant fucking filmmaker and there are unfortunately a lot of brilliant artists that are fucked up people.

• 51:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:33Speaker 00

  You know, knowing what I know about Roman Polanski doesn't stop me rewatching Chinatown every few years and going, this is one of the best movies ever made. I get, we gotta deal with this.

• 51:42Mark Normand?

  In Bed Death, they say.

• 51:44Speaker 00

  No.

• 51:46Mark Normand?

  Still a great movie. I thought you meant deathbed?

• 51:50Speaker 00

  Ah.

• 51:51Mark Normand?

  Bed death. Bed death, that's what lesbians have.

• 51:55Mark Normand?

  Isn't that what they call it?

• 51:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 51:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 51:56Sam Morril?

  Lesbian bed death.

• 51:57Mark Normand?

  Lesbian bed death.

• 51:58Sam Morril?

  They stop having sex with each other after a few years. I think that's everybody.

• 52:02Mark Normand?

  Lesbian bed death. Quicker than that, I think. Yeah. I think they move in quick.

• 52:05Speaker 00

  Lesbian bed death sounds like a really good like hardcore band name in the early 80s.

• 52:10Mark Normand?

  We're gonna see, uh, tonight's Guata Canal Diary and Lesbian Bed Death. They're at the, uh, they're at the smell. The smell. It's a Pacific Northwest band.

• 52:21Mark Normand?

  They're gloomy as shit. The gloomies. They also say U-Haulin'. They call it U-Haulin'.

• 52:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 52:26Mark Normand?

  When lesbians move, because they move in like, they, they date, they scissor and then they move right in.

• 52:30Sam Morril?

  I think we were grilling Fortune Feimster and all this stuff last time. She was like, wait, what's this one?

• 52:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:36Speaker 00

  Were you like treating her like a, like a weird anthropological?

• 52:39Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, tell us more.

• 52:40Speaker 00

  Tell what is this? It's like you're Diane Mead studying the Samoans. So what is the mating ritual like? You, and do you, what, what age does this happen?

• 52:48Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's right.

• 52:50Sam Morril?

  U-Haul lesbian.

• 52:51Mark Normand?

  U-Haul lesbian, there you go.

• 52:53Sam Morril?

  The idea that lesbians tend to move in together after a short period of time. It suggests an extreme inclination toward committed relationships.

• 53:01Speaker 00

  Oh, so she, okay, so this is, this is all like.

• 53:05Speaker 00

  I don't, again, if, if, if I was, especially like someone who's really like homophobic, I would just make up terms and get them all paranoid and just have them start using them like, well, that's a thing we, we call that SpaghettiOs. What's SpaghettiOs? Well, that's a thing where you, you kind of spoon, but you spoon in a circle and once you reach that stage, you can only do it once and then after that, it's like the relationship is all dead. So when you see and you gotta, you know, they say it all the time, but you don't hear it, you don't know to listen to it.

• 53:32Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 53:33Speaker 00

  You'll hear it all the time now, like, oh yeah, we SpaghettiOed, man.

• 53:38Speaker 00

  Get them.

• 53:39Mark Normand?

  They're not making more sex, you know, you had the donkey punch, the Houdini, the rusty trombone, the Dirty Santa. We don't, they kind of ended that.

• 53:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. We kind of, we, we, we've run out of our weird sex terms, haven't we?

• 53:52Mark Normand?

  Well, you know what it is? I think Urban Dictionary came out before you had to make them up and they would take off and now there's just.

• 53:57Sam Morril?

  Also, some of them, the donkey punch, I'm like, that's just like a assault.

• 54:00Mark Normand?

  Oh, most of them are horrible.

• 54:02Sam Morril?

  It's just violent.

• 54:03Mark Normand?

  It's got awful.

• 54:03Sam Morril?

  Some of them you're like, all right, you came on the back, that's, you know, forgivable. But then one's, one's just throwing fists.

• 54:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, some of it, it sounds like they're, they're trying to like grandfather in just hitting somebody. Yeah, it's called, it's called strawberry shortcake.

• 54:16Mark Normand?

  I think that's one of them.

• 54:17Sam Morril?

  That's when you push a woman down the flight of stairs.

• 54:19Speaker 00

  You come in their face and you punch your nose, it starts bleeding, strawberry shortcake. You just, you just want to hit someone in the face, what are you doing?

• 54:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, so.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  This actually gets us right into peeves.

• 54:33Sam Morril?

  I got some peeves.

• 54:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, hit me, baby.

• 54:35Sam Morril?

  You know what's peevin' me right now?

• 54:36Speaker 03

  Right.

• 54:36Sam Morril?

  I had someone the other day go like, the other day I was telling a story and she goes, "Too much information."

• 54:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a classic.

• 54:43Sam Morril?

  That's always an...

• 54:43Mark Normand?

  TMI.

• 54:44Sam Morril?

  My uncle does it too. He's a fucking doctor.

• 54:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:47Sam Morril?

  Like, I'll say something, I'm like, "Oh, this is bothering me," he's like, "Okay."

• 54:50Mark Normand?

  I hate TMI.

• 54:51Sam Morril?

  You're a doctor. I need, I need actual advice.

• 54:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:55Sam Morril?

  I need help.

• 54:55Mark Normand?

  That's like a therapist going, "Uh, hmm, TMI, dude. This is maybe, uh, this is not the time or place."

• 55:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 55:02Mark Normand?

  Also, have you heard of Google or ChatGPT? That's all it is, is information. I thought we liked information.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:08Mark Normand?

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• 55:17Sam Morril?

  I'm wearing them.

• 55:18Mark Normand?

  Same here.

• 55:18Sam Morril?

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• 55:20Mark Normand?

  That's all I got. I threw out the other ones and I burned them. Put your dick and your balls in the pouch, you'll experience comfort like you never have before. We love them. It's all I wear. The other ones are crap. This is good stuff. Separate.

• 55:33Sam Morril?

  They don't swiss cheese on you. They stay intact. I love them.

• 55:37Mark Normand?

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• 56:03Sam Morril?

  It really is the best.

• 56:05Mark Normand?

  It is, yeah.

• 56:06Sam Morril?

  I don't use the pouch though, do you?

• 56:09Mark Normand?

  I don't know.

• 56:10Sam Morril?

  They're supposed to put your balls in the pouch. I don't, I just wear them like regular underwear.

• 56:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I guess I know.

• 56:14Sam Morril?

  It's funny, that's the whole thing. I don't use. Do you ever wear them? They're pretty good, dude. I mean...

• 56:18Mark Normand?

  They're good.

• 56:19Sam Morril?

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• 56:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's all, all the jeans I wear are Perfect Jeans then.

• 56:44Sam Morril?

  I gotta get them, I can't wait.

• 56:46Mark Normand?

  They're great. They fit great, they look great.

• 56:48Sam Morril?

  Oh, I can't wait to try these. Need to dress up a little more, throw on a pair of the Den Khakis. You got everything you already love about their jeans, but in a Chino style fabric. So they're a little more polished while keeping all the comfort. Yeah, see, I like to, I like the look of Khakis, but I don't like Khakis. So that's why I wear these, like, these are kinda nice too. Like, they're, they're stretchy and they're nice, but they're not, it comforts everything at this point.

• 57:08Mark Normand?

  I completely agree.

• 57:09Sam Morril?

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• 57:40Mark Normand?

  Very good. I wear them on stage all the time. They're very nice. Thank you, Jean.

• 57:45Speaker 00

  TMI, the thing that drives me crazy right now, it's, it's a peeve. And I mean, I know that it's being done out of love. Um, but whenever I'm having a discussion with my wife and let's say we disagree on something, especially a health issue thing, like, hey, you really need to really strongly rinse out the sponge in the sink and then put it on the drying rack so it doesn't grow mold. And I'm like, well, but every time I use it, I turn the hot water on and put soap on it, so doesn't it just get cleaned? And I'll try to do, I, I understand, but I don't think that's a big deal as you're making it. Half an hour later, she will have found some Instagram video that she has sent me going, "These are the five reasons you should never, never not put your sponge in a microwave. These will kill your family."

• 58:26Speaker 00

  Instagram has all, it's all scare shit about health and that, and you can attach it to any argument and then send it to your loved one to go, "See?"

• 58:35Sam Morril?

  You can find anything on the internet to scare you.

• 58:37Speaker 00

  And you can find anything to contradict, it's all useless.

• 58:40Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 58:41Sam Morril?

  I found, I have Googled when I was sick, is whiskey good for a cold? There, there'll be an article being like, yeah, some whiskey's good.

• 58:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 58:48Sam Morril?

  You can trick yourself.

• 58:49Speaker 00

  Okay, also, aren't we at this, they just came out with this, no alcohol is good for you. It's all bad for you. Remember a couple of years ago, a glass of red wine a night, the tannins are really good for you. Fine. No, actually, that's wrong. Uh, no alcohol is good for you. I just feel like there's a basement with a dry erase board on the wall. And they just go, okay, so for this, these two years, we'll say a glass of wine is good, then we're gonna say no.

• 59:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:12Speaker 00

  Don't drink any. Then you can sell your fucking stock. Then we'll come back with, actually, we did some new study. It just all feels so arbitrary.

• 59:19Mark Normand?

  I know. I just went on Grok. They said Jews were bad.

• 59:24Sam Morril?

  That's gonna be what you see on subway takes. Like, what do you, what's your take? Jews are in a lot of trouble.

• 59:31Speaker 00

  I lo- I love that he, I love that he created this AI and the AI keeps trying to be progressive and woke. So then he goes in and reprograms it to be like a weird Nazi. So it's like this guy, it's like a father. It's almost like we're watching the way his father probably raised him where he's like, you know, daddy, I made these new friends at school. You can't be friends with Jews, god damn it.

• 59:54Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 59:54Speaker 00

  And then so he's just, but he's doing it on a machine level and he's doing it to a thing that can someday launch nukes. Like, we're watching the Skynet origin story, but it's just a guy going, say the Jews suck.

• 1:00:07Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:00:07Speaker 00

  But they, I think everyone's kind of, god damn it, we're rewriting your programming.

• 1:00:12Mark Normand?

  That's teaching him to wave, like this.

• 1:00:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, if you're a Jew, stay off Twitter. Trust me. It's not a lot of good PR going for us right there.

• 1:00:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. All I do, we were talking about this, all I do on Twitter is I just post a show thing and that's it. Like, here, a show coming up. And then half of it is, you fucking pedophile. Cause there's anything, they, they can just make anything, anything now. It doesn't matter.

• 1:00:35Mark Normand?

  Of course, yeah.

• 1:00:37Speaker 00

  That's what you are. I look at my old Twitter and it was all zingers and puns and jokes.

• 1:00:42Mark Normand?

  Just goofy shit. Now you post that and everyone's like, what? We don't care. I need, I need a woman getting fisted or something.

• 1:00:47Speaker 00

  I need, I need something to make me angry.

• 1:00:49Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, some culture war shit.

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, remember early Twitter, how just goofy it was?

• 1:00:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, it was fun.

• 1:00:54Speaker 00

  Just, it, it felt like comedians hanging out, just bapping, bap, you know, bapping, bopping jokes off each other.

• 1:01:01Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:01:03Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:01:03Speaker 00

  One of my favorite tweets of all time, this comedian, Adrian Aarhart, it's one of the funniest tweets I've ever, she goes, Uh, the, my waiter in this Mexican restaurant just brought my entree over to the only other blonde white woman here. I get it now.

• 1:01:21Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:01:22Speaker 00

  And then the next line says, oh, wait, that's not my waiter.

• 1:01:24Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:01:25Speaker 00

  So it just like.

• 1:01:26Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's great.

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  Boom.

• 1:01:27Mark Normand?

  That's like a two act play.

• 1:01:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, just, it was so beautifully controlled. And now it'd be like, but see, actually, that is how they.

• 1:01:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we should have called ICE on the waiter.

• 1:01:38Speaker 00

  Screaming on you and.

• 1:01:39Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:01:39Sam Morril?

  It'll swing back.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Sam Morril?

  It always does.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Sam Morril?

  I think, cause then it becomes cool to be like, fuck, it's gone too far. Now I'm fucking bored and yeah, it'll swing back.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Now it's cool to not have tattoos. Remember all of our ironic, uh, pedophile jokes we used to tell back in the early aughts? Yeah, yeah. Mine aren't ironic. Oh, boy. They can bring those back.

• 1:02:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:01Speaker 00

  I was, there was a documentary on HBO about QAnon, the, the.

• 1:02:04Mark Normand?

  I saw it.

• 1:02:05Sam Morril?

  Into the Storm or something?

• 1:02:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. And they, and so they talk about how QAnon believes that Hollywood elites are run like a child pedophile cannibal thing. And they put up a picture of Oprah and then Tom Hanks and then me.

• 1:02:19Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:02:20Speaker 00

  And I was like, ah, and then.

• 1:02:23Sam Morril?

  You're mad to be called a pedo, but you're like, I'm in good company here.

• 1:02:25Speaker 00

  Well, the next day, my agents called. They were like, did you see the QAnon thing? I'm like, I know A-list. I'm gonna do a fucking Oprah, Tom Hanks.

• 1:02:34Mark Normand?

  How about Oprah as a pedo? You get a kid. You get a kid. You get a kid.

• 1:02:38Sam Morril?

  Also, Tom Hanks, I saw that like Elon Musk reposted the thing. He's got the most followers of anyone on Twitter. He was like, this guy's a pedo. And it's like.

• 1:02:46Speaker 00

  Elon wrote that?

• 1:02:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was something where he reposted calling Tom Hanks a pedo. And I was like, is this legal?

• 1:02:51Mark Normand?

  Whoa, that's defamation.

• 1:02:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:54Mark Normand?

  I didn't know Elon went all in on the Hanks pedo.

• 1:02:57Sam Morril?

  There was a whole thing about, you know, I don't know if you saw an article the other day, these people who are accusing Bradri- uh, Brigitte Macron of being a man.

• 1:03:04Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:03:04Sam Morril?

  They got off. They, they, they were like, it's not defamation, which is a rough headline.

• 1:03:09Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:03:10Sam Morril?

  They're like, it's like, she is a woman in the headline, but it's not defamation because of free speech and it was done in good spirits. I'm like, I don't know if it was done in good spirits.

• 1:03:16Speaker 00

  Good spirits.

• 1:03:17Sam Morril?

  Doesn't seem like a spirited approach.

• 1:03:19Speaker 00

  Done in good spirits.

• 1:03:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:20Sam Morril?

  But, but they're like, that's a rough headline. Just, it just, I think it was a telegraph and it just said, uh, yeah, it turns out this is not defamation. You're like, yeah, if you're a woman, that's rough to hear, bro.

• 1:03:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's, oh my God. Yeah. It's gonna be really interesting to see how all of the social media shit ends up shaking out. What, there'll be like a weird pushback from whatever the generation is after Gen Z.

• 1:03:44Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:44Speaker 00

  There seems to be a

• 1:03:46Mark Normand?

  Gen Alpha.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  A rebellion about like, I'm not online. Like, I think that'll become the new status is, I can't be found online. If you can contact me, if I give you my cellphone number, like, that'll be the new status. Is that it's actually hard to reach me.

• 1:04:02Sam Morril?

  It's kind of attractive when someone tells you they're not on social media.

• 1:04:05Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. It's like so rare, like, oh, really? Yeah.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  Did you hear house phones are coming back?

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  Landlines?

• 1:04:10Speaker 03

  Landlines are coming back in the house. Gen Alpha, you know, basically kids are requesting these phones be put back in the house.

• 1:04:17Sam Morril?

  Why?

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  Because they don't like the texting because it leaves a record or whatever.

• 1:04:22Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  So they said, let's just have a phone conversation.

• 1:04:25Speaker 00

  Good for them.

• 1:04:26Mark Normand?

  Good, good for them.

• 1:04:28Sam Morril?

  That is smart. I've sent some texts. I'm like, ooh, I shouldn't have said that.

• 1:04:30Speaker 00

  Of course, we all have. There, I was on, I was on Instagram and Jack White posted that he, um, he goes, I just now, he goes, I just turned 50 and I got my first cellphone. Like, he'd never owned a cellphone. And I was like, oh, my God. And then, but then you look at, look at the amount of stuff he's done. Like, look at his body of work. Of course, his stuff is incredible. Um, Tarantino is, is not anywhere online. I don't, I don't think he has, or if he has a cellphone, like, I think his assistant handles it.

• 1:04:58Sam Morril?

  That's why he talks so much when he's on any show.

• 1:04:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:00Sam Morril?

  Because he's not posting anywhere.

• 1:05:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. He's also, he's thinking deeply about shit and that's why he makes movies that you can re-watch and argue about because he's sat and thought about them.

• 1:05:11Mark Normand?

  And he had time to watch 9,000 movies.

• 1:05:14Speaker 00

  And watch 9,000 movies.

• 1:05:16Mark Normand?

  I'm watching a movie with my phone out now, scrolling with the movie on. It's pathetic.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:05:20Sam Morril?

  Not if it's a good one. If it's like, if it's a newer movie, I'll do that. But if it's like, if I know I'm watching a classic, I'm like, phone in the other room. I want to watch.

• 1:05:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's the new thing. It's, um, among the film nerds, it's called raw dogging. And it's where you watch a movie and you don't, you never once look at your phone and it's hard to do.

• 1:05:36Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:05:37Speaker 00

  But when, when you actually get into it, you remember, oh, yeah. Every one of these scenes, even if the scene doesn't work, it mattered. They thought it mattered. That's why it's in here. So it's very instructive to watch that shit. Yeah, yeah, you gotta do it.

• 1:05:50Sam Morril?

  My friend was sick and she's like, give me a movie rec, like an old one. So I was like, watch Out of the Past with Robert Mitchum. And she just said, I fucking love that movie so much.

• 1:05:59Speaker 00

  Me too.

• 1:06:00Sam Morril?

  But like every dialogue and it's so fucking good. You miss lines if you're on your phone.

• 1:06:04Speaker 00

  No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not just, not just that the dialogue is so good. The way the actors deliver it, like you see them, you can feel how they got the script earlier that day and were like, I am gonna fucking make a meal of this. This is gonna be amazing. And the way, especially Out of the Past, the way they exhale the cigarette smoke and the way it's lit, like you know that cinematographer was like, oh, let's light this smoke, man. Cause that, that's just as much of shows these characters as what they're saying and what they're doing.

• 1:06:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah. They look cool as hell.

• 1:06:36Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 1:06:37Sam Morril?

  That line where she's, you know, she's trying to be, you know, she's trying to win him back, that evil woman. He's just like, you're like a leaf that flows from one gutter to the next.

• 1:06:44Speaker 00

  Woo, heavy, heavy.

• 1:06:47Sam Morril?

  So funny.

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  See what you can't say. That's such a bad, you have to get creative and you gotta write some shit.

• 1:06:54Speaker 00

  You know? Well, I love how in The Maltese Falcon, they snuck the word gunsel in there, which became, it meant, oh, a guy, like a hired gun that you have.

• 1:07:02Sam Morril?

  Gunsel?

• 1:07:03Speaker 00

  Gun, G U N S E L. That's what they call Elijah Cook's character. He got this gunsel waiting for me in the, uh, but it's actually, it's like a Yiddish word for like rent boy. Whoa. And it's, and if you real, if you watch the movie again, you realize Sidney Greenstreet, um, Elijah Cook is, he's a little fuck boy. And, cause they mentioned like, um, I spotted him just like your boy in Istanbul. Like, he's just this guy that travels around and like finds young boys and gives them a gun and goes, you're gonna protect me. Yeah, that's right. Whoa. So there's all this, there's, there's a lot of like, I love those old movies. There's all this hidden stuff, you know, that they, obviously they can't, like you said, you can't say, but there's ways you can sneak it in. I heard Kevin Spacey's in the sequel of that.

• 1:07:46Speaker 00

  Oh Kevin.

• 1:07:47Mark Normand?

  I had something on the phones and I lost it.

• 1:07:49Sam Morril?

  The landline?

• 1:07:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the landline.

• 1:07:51Sam Morril?

  You would have been about the landline.

• 1:07:52Mark Normand?

  I did, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, I mean, it is, to me, it's so funny you say it's about erasing your text history because I just thought like, oh, it's like, cool, it's like, like the way like having DVDs or like records or something, you know?

• 1:08:05Mark Normand?

  But I think Gen Z, if you notice, they're more reserved.

• 1:08:08Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:09Mark Normand?

  Because they're always on high alert, like, we could fuck up, we could shit our pants, we could get beat up, and it wasn't, there wasn't a record of it.

• 1:08:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:16Mark Normand?

  I got beat up as a kid, thank God there wasn't eight phones out, you know, and then it goes up on TikTok the next day.

• 1:08:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:22Mark Normand?

  So I think kids are a little more nervous to like, cut loose.

• 1:08:25Sam Morril?

  Also, you see those kids fighting videos online now, I don't see them as much, but when Elon first took over Twitter, it was all like Fight Haven on my timeline.

• 1:08:33Mark Normand?

  Oh, I had a lot of fight, yeah.

• 1:08:34Sam Morril?

  And kids are getting punched in the face and everyone's cheering, I'm like, I don't know who the good guy is in this scenario.

• 1:08:38Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:08:38Sam Morril?

  I'm just seeing where he hit you.

• 1:08:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, according to Grok, it was the white kid. But, yeah. But, yeah, it's crazy, some of those videos are like, it's, the handle is called like, don't watch this, or death video, or, you know, scary shit, and I watch every one of them.

• 1:08:54Sam Morril?

  Don't watch this.

• 1:08:55Mark Normand?

  I know, it's like, 2:00 in the morning, and I'm like, I gotta go to bed!

• 1:08:58Speaker 00

  Oh, God, that, that's the worst for me, I really have to make a concerted effort before I go to sleep to get the phone across the room, because otherwise I'll scroll, I'll scroll till dawn.

• 1:09:09Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:09:09Speaker 00

  One after the other, and I, I know what I'm doing, I know, I'm just looking for my little serotonin boost.

• 1:09:16Mark Normand?

  Yep, yep.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  Just hitting them over and over again, I do a whole bit about, it was, first it was blackhead extraction videos, then I discovered hoof cleaning videos.

• 1:09:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's good stuff.

• 1:09:26Speaker 00

  So soothing.

• 1:09:27Mark Normand?

  Soothing.

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  And then there's the, um, there's the, there's that woman that would power clean houses.

• 1:09:32Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 1:09:33Speaker 00

  Hoarder houses.

• 1:09:34Mark Normand?

  This is pretty wholesome, I gotta say, you could go a lot worse.

• 1:09:37Speaker 00

  Well, then there was the, there's the lawn care guy. He has a YouTube channel.

• 1:09:42Sam Morril?

  I'm realizing Patton's a way better person than us.

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's healthy shit. But it's still, I'm, I'm searching for the same distraction, like, can't you just be alone with your fucking thoughts? No, it's another one, another one, another, and now there's a new one, it's, it's, it's weird. There's, have you seen the drainpipe unclogging videos?

• 1:10:00Sam Morril?

  I like that.

• 1:10:01Speaker 00

  Where they drag a tire through it?

• 1:10:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:03Speaker 00

  And I realized, it's basically, it's the, uh, uh, manual labor version of creating a money shot. Cause it's all the built up tension.

• 1:10:13Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:10:14Speaker 00

  And then that thing just blows, you're like, yeah.

• 1:10:16Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:10:17Speaker 00

  And so you're just wa, yeah, there it is. This thing is clogged, how are we gonna unclog this? How are we gonna get a big rele, this, we need a big release here.

• 1:10:25Mark Normand?

  It's funny, we spend millions on Marvel special effects and then this is what gets you.

• 1:10:29Sam Morril?

  That's what I want, I know.

• 1:10:30Speaker 00

  Maybe we don't need writers.

• 1:10:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:32Sam Morril?

  They can compete with a guy eating a sandwich in his car and then raiding the sandwich.

• 1:10:36Mark Normand?

  Right. AI can't do this. No, it can't. No, it'll never be able to do that.

• 1:10:41Sam Morril?

  I get a lot of those videos, a dude just eating food and being like, I was told to try this new Wendy's thing. And I'm like, alright, let's see.

• 1:10:48Mark Normand?

  We'll write a bit for six months, it'll never top the views on that fucking fat guy.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Oh no, yeah, yeah, you'll, you'll never.

• 1:10:53Speaker 03

  He's gonna bust, hold on.

• 1:10:54Mark Normand?

  Wait, a tire went through there?

• 1:10:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:56Speaker 00

  You pull a tire, and, yeah, look at, look at it.

• 1:10:58Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:10:59Speaker 00

  Now it's all coming out.

• 1:11:00Mark Normand?

  Two girl, one cup.

• 1:11:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, reminiscent.

• 1:11:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:11:04Speaker 00

  That is exciting.

• 1:11:05Sam Morril?

  It's like a birth video.

• 1:11:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:11:09Sam Morril?

  Crazy.

• 1:11:09Mark Normand?

  So how did, was a truck pulling that? Cause you need a lot of torque to pull a tire through that pipe.

• 1:11:14Speaker 00

  It's a truck.

• 1:11:15Sam Morril?

  Damn dude.

• 1:11:16Mark Normand?

  Damn, this is good stuff, I'm gonna go and watch that. That'll clean out my feet a little.

• 1:11:20Speaker 00

  I, I think post Gen Z is gonna be immune to all this, and we're gonna be the generation that just got gobbled up whole.

• 1:11:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:27Speaker 00

  By the internet, Gen X and especially boomers complaining about kids being on their phones. No one's on their phone more than fucking boomers. It is such a novelty to them and they love it, and they are constantly swiping on those things.

• 1:11:39Mark Normand?

  And it's like. Eyeglass on the nose, you know, the phone's over here and they'll, they'll still do Facebook. They'll fight with people on Facebook and you're like, oh wow, you're on, you're online constantly and old.

• 1:11:52Speaker 00

  I wonder if it's so attractive to boomers because they are older, so they can't get out as much. But if you're online and you're reading stories on Facebook, you're justifying why you're not leaving your house. Like, it's horrible out there. Look at everything that's going on there.

• 1:12:06Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 1:12:07Sam Morril?

  No one sends me more articles or those videos than my mom and dad.

• 1:12:11Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:12:12Speaker 00

  About how horrible things are. Watch out for this. Honey, I know that you travel a lot and there's, and you're just like, this is fucking bullshit.

• 1:12:19Sam Morril?

  Didn't you used to have a bit about how like, they're like, don't walk around with a phone or something?

• 1:12:24Speaker 00

  In the eighties, uh, right when cell phones came out, I had a friend's mom say, if you are in a black or Hispanic neighborhood, don't take out your cellphone because they'll know you're rich and they'll kill you. I remember that specific line she said to me and that was one of the first times I was like, I think adults are full of shit. They, uh, I don't think this works.

• 1:12:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, that, uh, this, I had a point I was gonna make and I feel I was gonna make it.

• 1:12:53Mark Normand?

  We're probably gonna go back to the brick. I bet the brick Nokia, I bet that comes back.

• 1:12:59Speaker 00

  Oh, like a stylish kind of retro?

• 1:13:01Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:13:02Sam Morril?

  Some people have the flip, I mean, a tell is a flip phone, some people.

• 1:13:05Mark Normand?

  But don't you miss like, my wife is younger than me, so she's all text all day, what are you up to? Sending me videos, sending me clips and you long for the days, our parents went to work at eight thirty, got there at nine, did a full day, finished at five, came home at six and they had shit to talk about.

• 1:13:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:25Mark Normand?

  I'm texting with her throughout the day.

• 1:13:26Sam Morril?

  You missed each other.

• 1:13:28Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:13:28Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:13:29Mark Normand?

  But imagine eight hours of bliss.

• 1:13:31Speaker 00

  So what's going on? Like, you know what's going on.

• 1:13:33Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:13:34Speaker 00

  Or like, they'll be driving home from somewhere, like you're at, you're at home doing something and they're like, hey, and they're like, they have you on FaceTime and it's like, okay, I'll see you when you get home. Well, let's just talk now. I'm just driving.

• 1:13:45Mark Normand?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:13:46Speaker 00

  We don't have anything to, just come home.

• 1:13:47Sam Morril?

  I know. You're supposed to have dinner together on top of that. You're like, we're fucking out of shit.

• 1:13:51Mark Normand?

  I'm done. I'm tapped out.

• 1:13:53Speaker 00

  Let me just do stuff and we'll talk when you get here.

• 1:13:55Mark Normand?

  Exactly. That's why I always say the road is a, is a marriage saver.

• 1:13:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:00Mark Normand?

  Doing the road, it gets you out there, you come back.

• 1:14:02Sam Morril?

  Do you still hit the road hard?

• 1:14:03Speaker 00

  I don't do it like you guys do it where I don't have the stamina to go weeks on end. Like you, you went out with a bus, right?

• 1:14:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was hardcore.

• 1:14:10Speaker 00

  Were you doing like day rooms instead of hotel rooms? Like you'd get in?

• 1:14:13Sam Morril?

  No, I sleep on the bus.

• 1:14:14Speaker 00

  Oh, you slept on the bus?

• 1:14:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, I like sleeping on the bus.

• 1:14:16Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:14:17Sam Morril?

  Well, if the bus is moving, it just rocks you to sleep.

• 1:14:19Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 1:14:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:20Speaker 00

  I, I try to go out for a weekend and come home. I can't do that. I mean, I used to do the like three months out, just, you know, in a, when I was doing Commendations of Comedy, we were in a van.

• 1:14:29Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:14:30Sam Morril?

  Whoa.

• 1:14:31Speaker 00

  We would all steal pillows from our hotel rooms. And by the middle of the tour, we had like built these cocoons around ourselves.

• 1:14:37Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:14:38Speaker 00

  So it's like me and Zach Galifianakis and Maria Bamford and Brian Posehn. We look like silkworms in our old seats, just kind of.

• 1:14:45Mark Normand?

  I could see Posehn being pretty comfy. He's like a big beanbag.

• 1:14:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, he's, he, we usually give him the front seats. He could like lean back a little bit.

• 1:14:52Sam Morril?

  That is, I remember that, uh, that show. Was it, how did that come together? Was it you guys were like, we're doing this or?

• 1:14:57Speaker 00

  It was me, it was me and Zach doing, um, I did, I did a show at the Forty Watt in, uh, Athens. And it was so fucking good. Cause at the time I was on King of Queens, which was a great show, but a lot of the crowds that I was getting, they were like, oh, King of Queens, we watch it with our families. And like the stuff I was doing really wasn't like landing with them. I'm like, I need to kind of find my audience. And I, and I went and did this like tiny music festival and that kind of crowd in a small rock club was like, this is who, this is who I should be performing.

• 1:15:31Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:15:32Speaker 00

  I, I called Zach up. I was like, hey, you know, I got this guy, he knows like these really cool little rock clubs we could do up and down the East Coast. He's like, yeah, let's do that. So we did a bunch of those and then it was really successful. So then I added Maria and Brian, and then we went out and did a whole tour, did up and down the West Coast, up and down the East Coast. It kind of got big. We ended up doing like. Uh, the Irving Plaza in New York.

• 1:15:55Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:15:56Speaker 00

  Had a lot of guests on that show.

• 1:15:57Mark Normand?

  I remember that.

• 1:15:58Speaker 00

  People that were in town.

• 1:15:59Mark Normand?

  Mulaney was on that one.

• 1:16:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, Mulaney and, um, David Cross and.

• 1:16:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:03Speaker 00

  And, and, uh, and, and just so like, it just was, oh, yay, friends get to hang out.

• 1:16:10Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:16:10Speaker 00

  And do clubs they wanna do, and then you can actually have adventures in between, like do stuff during the day rather than get in. All right, I'm in the hotel room, you get to the club, there's some local opener that they've, you know, or a local DJ.

• 1:16:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:24Speaker 00

  How you doing, I'm the dog.

• 1:16:27Speaker 00

  I gotta give boy a couple t-shirts, I'll bring you right up. What do I say?

• 1:16:30Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:16:30Speaker 00

  Everybody loves Raymond, what's the show? And so, uh, it just felt more like, hey, we're all in this, we're all excited to be doing this.

• 1:16:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was.

• 1:16:40Speaker 00

  You're like, you know, when you're on those shows, you can tell like, the comedians on the shows are actually friends or on a trip, like, that just adds to the energy so much.

• 1:16:47Mark Normand?

  And it was fun, I was, I started as an alt guy, so that was like our beacon, that, that movie, yeah, that was huge.

• 1:16:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was, it was good, man, yeah. Remember we, remember when we were like, were young comics and we hung out with Maria Banford?

• 1:16:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:59Sam Morril?

  And we were like, holy shit, was Maria.

• 1:17:00Mark Normand?

  Blown away.

• 1:17:01Sam Morril?

  And she was so cool, I mean, it was like, we were in Vancouver, right?

• 1:17:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:04Speaker 00

  Where in Vancouver were you?

• 1:17:05Sam Morril?

  We did some fest and she came out drinking with us and we were like, holy shit, where was Maria Banford?

• 1:17:09Mark Normand?

  I have a photo of it somewhere on my phone.

• 1:17:11Sam Morril?

  Same, same. You, me, Hanley, Joe List.

• 1:17:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Carmen Lynch.

• 1:17:14Sam Morril?

  Carmen Lynch, Vida and Maria Banford.

• 1:17:16Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 1:17:17Sam Morril?

  It was cool.

• 1:17:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, Maria's, Maria, her shit like, it, she, she's so fucking raw up on stage about, just openly, I have fucking mental stuff that I'm struggling with.

• 1:17:29Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:17:29Speaker 00

  And, and making jokes about that.

• 1:17:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:17:32Speaker 00

  Effortlessly.

• 1:17:33Mark Normand?

  Your comedy, uh, you know, I wanna get into this, cuz that must've been hard for you, cuz you're, you're, uh, I feel like a lot of guys have copied you now, but you had, you were, you kinda went a different way. Your stand-up was weird and original for that time, it must've been hard to break through the club circuit with like, the Einstein diarrhea, uh, bed death, or all that, like, those jokes were a little outside the box.

• 1:17:58Speaker 00

  Well, it, it wasn't that I was, wasn't. It wasn't that I wasn't punching through at the clubs, but a lot of, and you know this, a lot of clubs, the, the sign just says, comedy.

• 1:18:07Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:18:08Speaker 00

  They're not coming to see anyone specific. They don't have any taste of what they like and don't like. They're just like, I just want to see a goddamn comedy show.

• 1:18:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:16Speaker 00

  And you're there to sell drinks.

• 1:18:17Sam Morril?

  But you killed at the clubs. I saw you at Caroline's in high school and you killed. I mean, you were...

• 1:18:20Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, I mean, I, I, cause I learned very quickly, like, I, I do want to do this as a profession. I did.

• 1:18:26Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:18:26Speaker 00

  There were a lot of, as much as I love, and I still love doing the Largo, but, and you, you know this, in the alt scene, there were also a lot of hot house flowers that were really good in these alt rooms, but they never went out on the road.

• 1:18:38Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:18:39Speaker 00

  And you've got to be able to, now, there were also people that only did the road.

• 1:18:42Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:18:43Speaker 00

  And that kind of hardens you and you don't, you kind of stop having a personality after a while. And then you also become a memorable. So you got to find that right balance of, you go right in the alt rooms and then you edit on the road. Like, the road makes you get, I remember I was doing a show with Mitch Hedberg at the Largo one night and he, um, he said something so, he goes, beware of any comedian who writes for a half an hour and says they have a half an hour of new material.

• 1:19:08Mark Normand?

  Ah, so true.

• 1:19:09Speaker 00

  Like, you, you do a bit at the Largo and it's like, two minutes of this will work.

• 1:19:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:14Speaker 00

  On the road, or like in front, you know what I mean? It works here because the crowd is on a different wavelength, but don't expect to go out and go, so, I went to this audition.

• 1:19:23Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:19:24Speaker 00

  And, uh, and I don't, it's, it's, it's on the Fox lot. Now, you know, only down peak on, people are like, the fuck are they, you know?

• 1:19:31Mark Normand?

  You're right.

• 1:19:31Speaker 00

  And a lot of people never made that adjustment. So, I try, I mean, again, there was a lot of, um,

• 1:19:38Speaker 00

  failures and I got booed offstage in Pittsburgh one time.

• 1:19:41Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:19:42Speaker 00

  Tried, it was right during the...

• 1:19:44Sam Morril?

  You were like Roethlisberger's innocent.

• 1:19:48Speaker 00

  No, I was, I was making like the fucking lightest jokes about, it wasn't even political. I was just made a couple of references to George W. Bush, like, before the Iraq war, and I think people were all freaked out and they just started screaming at me and...

• 1:20:01Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:20:01Speaker 00

  And they had to lock me up in the, in the office and, um, while they had to clear the room out.

• 1:20:06Mark Normand?

  Jeez.

• 1:20:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was really, really rough. So, I was like, okay, I got to figure out a way to, first I got to find my audience and then get confident enough to make any audience my audience.

• 1:20:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, you were one of the guys that you could make a joke about anything. Like, you know, sometimes this thing happens to you and you're like, this is funny, but no one's going to get it.

• 1:20:24Speaker 00

  Like you had that magician bit.

• 1:20:26Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 1:20:26Speaker 00

  That bit was amazing.

• 1:20:27Sam Morril?

  Wasn't that on Werewolves and Lollipops?

• 1:20:29Speaker 00

  Werewolves and Lollipops, yeah. That magician in Richmond, Kentucky, had a one nighter. Well, I've, I'd also seen comedians, if you are as interested enough in what you're talking about, and it really is fascinating to you, you can transfer that to the audience.

• 1:20:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:44Speaker 00

  You know, it's, it's like how Dave Chappelle has big blocks of time on stage where he's not necessarily getting a laugh, but the audience is interested.

• 1:20:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, captivating.

• 1:20:54Speaker 00

  Because he's telling you his facts, and you're like,

• 1:20:55Sam Morril?

  They trust him.

• 1:20:56Speaker 00

  Okay, let's see where this goes, you know, but if you're, I, I've had.

• 1:20:59Sam Morril?

  Ironically, he's good at transitioning.

• 1:21:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:01Mark Normand?

  He is, yeah. I've had millions of those nights at open mics where the heroin addict is there, or the crackhead guy, or the schizophrenic guy.

• 1:21:08Speaker 00

  Dr. Pepper.

• 1:21:09Sam Morril?

  Yes, Dr. Pepper.

• 1:21:10Mark Normand?

  But you captured it.

• 1:21:11Speaker 00

  We all had our open mics where there was some, the, I just called them like the, the persistent mutants, where they were never gonna have a career as a comedian.

• 1:21:20Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:21:21Speaker 00

  But they were gonna be there every week to tell their tale.

• 1:21:24Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:21:24Speaker 00

  And it was so, in DC, we had a guy named Jay Van Hubbard, and a guy named, um, Jim Anderson, like, these guys were like, I don't know why you're showing up, but there's something kinda beautiful.

• 1:21:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, 100%.

• 1:21:37Speaker 00

  And you coming and doing this.

• 1:21:38Sam Morril?

  There was like a purity to it.

• 1:21:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:39Sam Morril?

  They're there for love of the game.

• 1:21:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:41Sam Morril?

  They have not figured it out on a business way. But like, they're going to be there, and they're gonna, and you're like, alright, it's kinda cool.

• 1:21:47Mark Normand?

  It's almost freak show kinda traveling circus type shit. Like, we had Mike Lawrence on here last week, and we started together. And we had an old guy, this guy must have been 900 years old, he came in on crutches. We had the guy who, uh, was clearly off, you know, mentally, and he thought he was gonna be the next, uh,

• 1:22:03Sam Morril?

  But enough about Mike.

• 1:22:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But, yeah, we had everybody.

• 1:22:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. But that's also, I mean, you look at someone like Mike, back then, in, in comedy, there was also, you were expected to sort of have a specific rhythm, and a specific look, and a specific

• 1:22:19Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:22:20Speaker 00

  way about you, and I think one of the best things that all comedy did was really blow open the door to, there's no way to look, or talk, or act as a comedian. Mike's, the way he talks and looks is not like the rhythms of other comedians. But audiences are now so much more open to especially like people that are maybe neurodivergent or or just approach jokes in a completely different way. They're like, okay, good. That's how this goes then.

• 1:22:45Sam Morril?

  Mike's also so clearly like a savant. He's an incredible joke writer. He's unreal. He is unreal.

• 1:22:52Speaker 00

  But behind the joke writing are genuinely brilliant insights about life. That as funny as he's making the jokes, you're like, shit, that's a really good point too. But he does it without a lot of times I will, when I'm trying to make a point, I'll fall into like, I'm very aware of when I fall into claptor. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I don't want to do that. And happy I'm like, I gotta keep this fucking jokes. And a lot of times that that's one bad thing that Twitter in these last couple of years did to it. It made a lot of us a little bit self righteous, only because the world got so insane.

• 1:23:31Speaker 00

  And it took me a while to realize pointing out someone's hypocrisy and insanity doesn't really matter to a lot of people. But if anything, like if you point out like. They want blood.

• 1:23:41Sam Morril?

  We don't, we don't want to numb yourself to this insanity, but you also don't want to be like freaking out every day.

• 1:23:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. But also like you realize if you point out like this guy said this and now he's doing this. And it took me a while to realize that's what's appealing about that person is that they are completely lying about whatever they're doing and still getting away with. That's a form of power is to go like, yeah, this person should be condemned for this. You're doing the same thing. Yeah, I know. Right. I know I'm doing the same thing and it doesn't affect me. Like there is a appeal to that in a lot of people. And you can't, if you get wound up by that, you're the butt of the joke. You're suddenly, you're the dean in Animal House. Getting wound up by that shit. You know, it is kind of cool how a lot of the conservatives and a lot of the like far right, like the racist took the national lampoon, onion,

• 1:24:33Speaker 00

  alt comedy, ironic racism playbook and just used it to become the rebels that are making everyone just go, oh, my God, what is going? You know what I mean? It's that it's weird how they everyone switched places. I really did. It's crazy. And I got wound up in that shit, man. Yeah, you got a lot of hate for a while. Oh, boy. I'm too much of a sensitive queef. I would, I would panic. It's a com- one thing you were saying earlier about a lot of the hate that you get online, you're like, oh, this isn't real. That you never meet them in real life. Sure. And also, you, you realize, oh, there's some things that they were going to hate you anyway, or they already hated you, and you just gave them an excuse.

• 1:25:12Speaker 00

  They can now always bring, like, people always bring up Chappelle to me because I, uh, wrote that thing about like, and again, the thing that I wrote, and I did post a really douchey picture of me writing. Oh, right. The thing that I was going to post, which was so fucking douchey, it's like Mr. Mr. Poetryville, sitting there writing. But when you're in the eye of the storm, you're like, put something out. The fuck do I do? So, but if you read the thing I wrote, I'm like, Dave Chappelle's fucking brilliant. I came up with him, he's a friend. Yeah. But we disagree on this one fucking thing. I don't agree with his stance on this one thing. Comedians fight about shit all the time.

• 1:25:47Sam Morril?

  Do you think he's transphobic, or do you think the jokes are just like?

• 1:25:49Speaker 00

  I thought the jokes were lazy.

• 1:25:50Sam Morril?

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:25:51Speaker 00

  I thought the jokes were lazy. I don't think he's transphobic. I think he was reacting to some things that happened to him when he was young. And you, people, like, look, I've, I've said plenty of shit on my early albums that I, now I know better. Hmm. You know what I mean? Trust me, I've-

• 1:26:06Sam Morril?

  Some comedy doesn't age well. Like, I, I was listening to some of the comedy I loved, like, 15 years ago, and I was like, oh, it sounds a little weird now. I still think it's funny, it just sounds a little weird now.

• 1:26:15Speaker 00

  But also, we got into this-

• 1:26:16Sam Morril?

  But that's okay.

• 1:26:17Speaker 00

  It's okay. We signed up for, we said yes to one of the most ephemeral art forms in existence, comedy. It doesn't age. We should accept that and kind of roll with it. But at the time, because I have a lot of friends, I have, I have family members who are trans, who are transitioning, and I talk to them, and they're fucking terrified right now. Yeah. And it's the, it's the exact same thing to me when, back when, um, uh, black people would say, the cops beat us up all the time. Everyone's like, oh, would you, this is all bullshit, this is fear mongering. And then we put, um, cameras on cops, and lo and behold, there's footage of cops beating the fuck out of, like, listen to the minority group, if they're, if they're telling you they're scared, they're, they're not making shit up. You know?

• 1:27:02Speaker 00

  And so, when I said that, then people were like, this mother, like- Even now, trust me, if you, when you post clips of this, I guarantee you there'll be people going, "Are you still, are you still like, gonna throw the chappelle in the bud?" Sure, that's what I'm saying. It never ends.

• 1:27:16Sam Morril?

  It is funny, cause you tell me, someone was telling me the other day that the movie Rush Hour now has like a warning, a disclaimer up top, like.

• 1:27:24Speaker 00

  It says, "These jokes are a little outdated," or something like that. But it's a funny movie.

• 1:27:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:28Speaker 00

  And by the way, um, you can totally, I don't know why.

• 1:27:34Sam Morril?

  Why is comedy the only thing that we need that for though? Because if it was a drama, they wouldn't be like, hey, this is kinda fucked up.

• 1:27:39Speaker 00

  You know why? Because clearly, all those years, look, listen, um, we, we wished on a monkey's paw. All those years that we were working as comedians, we were like, "You guys are just fucking clowns." And we're like, "I wish people would take my shit." Well, guess what? Now they are. Like, comedy does, clearly comedy has fucking weight. And we're like, "Oh shit, why did we wish for that?" Yeah. But it does have weight, and it does clearly, um, affect people, and. But why, why do you think it is? I'm a big fan of, uh, I really agree with Anthony Jeselnik when people are talking about, "You should be able to say fucking anything and not have any," he's like, "No, you should find a way to get away with shit." Make it funny. No one is, you just gotta find a way to make it funny.

• 1:28:21Sam Morril?

  No one says that in any other form of entertainment. No one's like, "You should be able to make it," no, make it, like Tarantino makes crazy shit, but it's great.

• 1:28:27Speaker 00

  But it's great.

• 1:28:28Sam Morril?

  You should strive to, for that, I think. I agree.

• 1:28:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, everyone that goes, "You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today," they forget that what Mel Brooks said, "I couldn't make Blazing Saddles then. I had to find a way to sneak it through." Nobody wanted to make it. They read the script and went, "This is horrible. We're not making this." The people fucking hated it. So how did he do it? How did he pull it off? And then everybody loved it? Because he's Mel Brooks, and he is a.

• 1:28:53Sam Morril?

  I mean, the producers is irreverent. The producers is incredible. I mean, it's like.

• 1:28:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's springtime for Hitler. Twenty years after the Holocaust.

• 1:28:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:00Speaker 00

  Twenty years after the Holocaust, and one of the funniest characters in the movie is a goddamn Nazi. Yes. The playwright gets big laughs. You know, so you're like, you, there's always a way, but, but to just go, "You should be able to say it," like, look, there's.

• 1:29:14Sam Morril?

  No, that's why we tour. That's why we hone. It's gotta, you gotta, you gotta drudge it through the mud, man.

• 1:29:20Speaker 00

  But you gotta let us work it out, too. Yeah, let us, exactly. Let us work it out. Or it'll be funny.

• 1:29:24Sam Morril?

  Right.

• 1:29:24Speaker 00

  But also. Yes, let us work it out, but if you're a comedian and enough people are saying, hey, this is really, I'm coming to you because I'm not a scold, I'm just like, this is really harmful, and this is why, I just go, I'm sure I can find another way to say this, or there's a way to, like, I'm a comedian, that's my, you can't go, no, that's the way I wrote it, and I can't change it. Well, how, how the fuck are you in showbiz?

• 1:29:47Sam Morril?

  I guess the difference is, like, we kind of focus test our material throughout the country, whereas in, like, you're a filmmaker, you're just like, here it is.

• 1:29:54Mark Normand?

  Put it out.

• 1:29:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:29:55Sam Morril?

  I guess some people will focus test their stuff, but like, yeah.

• 1:29:58Speaker 00

  Oh, there was, look, trust me, there was still shit that was cut out of Blazing Saddles, and, and there was some shit he put in for, on purpose, for the studio to go, take that out, so that he could get the thing that he wanted.

• 1:30:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:09Speaker 00

  The, the, the scene when she, Lily Von Stup is with, um, Sheriff Bart, and she goes, is it two what they say about you guys? And then you hear the zipper unzip, and then she goes, oh, it's two, it's two, it's two. And then the line they cut out was, Cleavenly goes, you're sucking on my arm.

• 1:30:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:28Speaker 00

  And they made them take that out, but then, but he got to keep all the other stuff he wanted.

• 1:30:31Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 1:30:32Sam Morril?

  I think he told that story on Fresh Airs, and I was like, holy shit, what a fucking...

• 1:30:36Mark Normand?

  That's a funny line.

• 1:30:37Sam Morril?

  That's a great joke.

• 1:30:38Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, oh, I mean, but, but he...

• 1:30:39Sam Morril?

  It's a bummer that line didn't get in, it's a great line.

• 1:30:41Mark Normand?

  It's not about a dick.

• 1:30:42Speaker 00

  Perfect line.

• 1:30:43Mark Normand?

  But, we have to remember, though, because we go, ah, you can't make these movies anymore, or the joke can be offensive, but it has to be funny, but also, just because everybody, people get offended, doesn't mean they're right either.

• 1:30:53Sam Morril?

  That's true.

• 1:30:53Mark Normand?

  You know?

• 1:30:54Speaker 00

  We have, again, we have to find, we, we've lost the, hey, can we all take a breath and find a balance here, rather than it's all this way, or it's all that way? Does it all have to be scorched fucking earth?

• 1:31:07Mark Normand?

  I, exactly.

• 1:31:09Speaker 00

  Can I, can I?

• 1:31:09Mark Normand?

  You could be offended, that's okay.

• 1:31:11Speaker 00

  Can I love Dave Chappelle, and I truly do, but go, ah, those jokes, I'm not crazy about those jokes.

• 1:31:16Sam Morril?

  But also, not everyone's gonna bat a thousand on, on all their topics either. I mean, you know, that, that's the thing, is I think intent and consistency are so important.

• 1:31:23Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 1:31:24Sam Morril?

  And, you know, there's comedians I love, and I'm like, I disagree with that, but I'm still laughing.

• 1:31:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:29Speaker 00

  That's the end of the world. Or not even, yeah, lis- listen, um, Nick DiPaolo and I, I think, agree on nothing, and he, but he has made me laugh so, and continues to make me laugh. He's a fucking good comic.

• 1:31:41Sam Morril?

  He is a great artist.

• 1:31:42Speaker 00

  He has opinions that I don't agree with, but a lot of the ways he does them, I'm like, ah, shit, that's fucking, alright.

• 1:31:47Sam Morril?

  And it's important to keep those people in your life, I think, you know? Or else you're living in an echo chamber.

• 1:31:52Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:31:53Sam Morril?

  And... You don't, I get bored when I'm with people who only agree with me. I do, I really do.

• 1:31:58Speaker 00

  That's the other thing about.

• 1:31:59Sam Morril?

  That's why I hang out with a lot of Nazis in my spare time. I like to mix it up.

• 1:32:03Speaker 00

  Well, they're very clean. Good to be here. They're very clean. That's the thing about, the other thing about the Chappelle thing that I, I realized wasn't, it's like, oh, from an outsider's point of view. Comedians fight with each other all the time. We fight about stuff, we fight about material, we argue about material. That's how our material gets good. There's nothing makes you funnier than when you're sitting around and your friends are busting their balls going, you're really doing that? Come on, man. Like, that's so, and, but that, to an outsider, it's like, fuck, they, they hate each other. It's like, no, that's what we do all the time. We're not feuding with anybody. We don't, that's how we do that. That, that scene in the Jerry Seinfeld documentary where he's trying to make the joke work about think tanks. Yes.

• 1:32:46Speaker 00

  And he can, and A, I was so amazed that he like puts footage in a documentary about himself where jokes aren't working. Like, he's showing you the process of, yeah, these jokes don't come out of books. We have to take them up and keep working them until they work. And then he's sitting at the olive tree, I think with George Wallace and Colin Quinn, and George Wallace finally goes, he's like, how, Jerry's like, how does someone get fired from a think tank? That's the joke and I can't find it. And then George Wallace goes, man, Kenny, sometimes you don't think. Yeah. And you see Jerry's face like, like he sees the whole bit. Right. Cause George like gives it to him. Yeah, that's what you think. You better think again. In a way, that's a form, yeah. That, that's like a form of argument of like, couldn't you have taken it here? Mm-hmm. Why didn't you take it here?

• 1:33:31Sam Morril?

  Well, look, we, we do it less and less as we get older, but Mark and I used to bounce bits in coffee shops for hours, you know? We all did that. And then, you know, we, it used to be part of the podcast. We kind of got lazy with it. We should go back to it a little more, but we would, Mark and I would, you don't do, you could still text every once in a while. Sometimes you'll hop on, but like, I feel like we don't do it the way we used to.

• 1:33:51Speaker 00

  You sit and you kill, well, the thing is also, you're not in your twenties anymore and you can't assassinate a day to borrow a phrase from Bill Maher the way you used to where you would, especially if you're on the road, like, it's 11 o'clock, let's go get breakfast and hang out at the mall and just look at stuff and talk about things. Walk around. We've got shit to do now.

• 1:34:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:08Speaker 00

  And, and you kind of miss those days when you can just sit and just go, yeah, but this thing and this thing. Oh, that was great. Or just sit there and go, I know there's something funny here and I can't find it, you know? Yes. Or those days. And I still appreciate when people do this. Um, someone just did this on a bit that I thought was working great and they're like, "Look, I know that you, but there, it's so lazy the way that you're setting it up and delivering it if you just did it this way." And I'm like, "Fuck, you're right." Like, "I'm never offended by shit like that." Like, "All you're doing is helping me." "You're not, you're not trying to fuck with me." You're just like, "I see what you're trying to do. If you just worded it this way, it'll work 10 times better." Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:45Sam Morril?

  Sometimes you're comfortable if the payoff is good enough. Sometimes you're a little lazy in the setup.

• 1:34:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, or they're taking too much fucking. That's my other problem. I take way too much fucking time sometimes to go where I'm going. You could just start it right there.

• 1:35:00Sam Morril?

  But that's also, I think, that's also sometimes like you talk about like Largo or like Alt Room. Sometimes they'll give you more, uh, they'll listen better.

• 1:35:06Speaker 00

  Yes, they will.

• 1:35:08Sam Morril?

  As opposed to like, if you're going up at the cellar.

• 1:35:10Speaker 00

  Or the funny bone.

• 1:35:11Sam Morril?

  You're following someone. You're following someone who's like bam bam bam. You're like, "All right, I gotta fucking move this story."

• 1:35:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, here we go.

• 1:35:16Sam Morril?

  Working out stories in the cellar has been like.

• 1:35:18Speaker 00

  That's hard.

• 1:35:19Sam Morril?

  It's, but it's, it's so helpful, dude.

• 1:35:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, you gotta tighten.

• 1:35:21Sam Morril?

  I'm like, "All right, I just gotta have hard punches in it."

• 1:35:24Speaker 00

  You know why it else? There are other reasons it's helpful and I know you guys have both experienced this. Is there anything more frustrating than when you record a special or an album? And then the, it's not gonna come out for another three months. So you're still touring on that material. And then you find three or four better ways to do jokes that you've now recorded permanently. You're like Netflix, can I put this in? If I had just cut the whole, oh, fuck, damn it. Or you think of a better tag to it. Yes, yes, exactly. That is the worst. That drives me insane.

• 1:35:53Sam Morril?

  Or when it comes out and someone's like, "What if you said this?" And you're like, "Fuck, that's pretty good."

• 1:35:57Speaker 00

  God damn it. Yeah. I just, uh, on my.

• 1:35:59Sam Morril?

  Someone gives you a tag on a special that already came out, I'm like, "Thanks."

• 1:36:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, right, that was helpful. That was all the time. Well, I was very lucky. I was, I toured with this guy named Orlando Laba, he's really, really funny, Dominican guy. And he, uh, I had a bit that was in the middle of my, this was my second to last special. And this big bit that was in the middle of the special. And he was like, "You realize that's your closer. I know that you're putting it in the middle. You should, it brings everything you're talking about together." And I realized, and he was right, like, that was my, and it changed. Changed the whole set.

• 1:36:29Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:36:30Speaker 00

  It made it ten times better. Oh, just by moving one bit.

• 1:36:33Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:36:33Speaker 00

  Like, didn't even realize that.

• 1:36:34Sam Morril?

  Interesting.

• 1:36:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:36:35Mark Normand?

  That's big.

• 1:36:36Speaker 00

  So, again, I'm-

• 1:36:36Sam Morril?

  Place means everything, man.

• 1:36:38Speaker 00

  I'm just really, I'm really, I really try to hang on to hanging out with comedians. I've got my threads with all my comedian friends that we all text back and forth and, you know, text about shit. Uh, and you just riff jokes off each other. But a lot of that is just like, they're just Twitter jokes. Like, I'm not gonna go on stage and go, "Hey, one of us mentioned, uh, what if, uh, Charles Bukowski did Star Wars? So, here's a bunch of different likes." No, you can't really do that.

• 1:37:01Sam Morril?

  Actually, sounds like a good idea.

• 1:37:02Mark Normand?

  That's very bad. Can I give you a tag on your Easter egg bit?

• 1:37:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, please, yeah, absolutely.

• 1:37:08Mark Normand?

  What's that, thirty years old?

• 1:37:09Speaker 00

  Oh, my god.

• 1:37:10Mark Normand?

  What was that? What is that called, that product?

• 1:37:12Speaker 00

  Paws.

• 1:37:13Mark Normand?

  Paws.

• 1:37:13Speaker 00

  Paws Easter eggs.

• 1:37:15Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:37:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, so, yeah, I mean, look, there's always, we're, I think we're coming out of the whole online outrage bullshit.

• 1:37:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:24Speaker 00

  And I think it'll kind of calm down a little bit in the middle, but I, I don't mind, hang on. Ooh, I, I hope that, I wonder if that's being picked up. Um, but, yeah, I, I don't mind when, uh, my, my dopey shit is gonna be like, "The internet's forever." I'm like, "Yeah, I've done some stupid shit, and now it's on the internet."

• 1:37:43Mark Normand?

  That's a joke, it's a zinger.

• 1:37:45Speaker 00

  I, I tweeted something stupid, I was trying for a joke, it didn't work.

• 1:37:48Mark Normand?

  And what am I supposed to do, like, Eddie Murphy said this and that, you're like, "Yeah, it's over." What do you want? Should he go back in time? It's done.

• 1:37:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:55Mark Normand?

  It's on a record.

• 1:37:55Speaker 00

  But also, people that go, people that say that shitty stuff now and go, "Well, Eddie Murphy did it back in eighty-five."

• 1:38:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:38:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, and he has grown since then and gone, "Yeah, I didn't know any better." You, like, you can't start, you can't draw your line in the sand in something that someone has already grown out of and go, "I'm being a First Amendment warrior." No, you're just doing hacky shit.

• 1:38:16Mark Normand?

  It's like going, "Milk was eleven cents back then, now it's not." You're like, "Yeah, it was different then, things were different."

• 1:38:21Sam Morril?

  But also, it's to what you're saying, that people are taking comedy more seriously. And, shocker, we're not infallible.

• 1:38:27Speaker 00

  No, my god.

• 1:38:28Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 1:38:29Speaker 00

  And not only are we not infallible, the thing that makes us so entertaining is that we're fucking train wrecks. Like, we're messes.

• 1:38:35Mark Normand?

  Let us be train wrecks.

• 1:38:36Speaker 00

  That's why we got into this, we say stupid shit. Right, you know? Yeah, there's gonna be, it's gonna be really interesting to, someone will write the book about all the, the online outrage and all the, all the shit that people, you know.

• 1:38:48Sam Morril?

  There's already some out there, I mean, it's crazy.

• 1:38:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I had a, I've told you this before, but I, people pick and choose. I did a joke where I said retard, and a lady comes up to me on the merch table, and she goes, "You shouldn't say that word, I have a niece with Down Syndrome." And I go, "What'd you think about the Holocaust stuff?" She goes, "That was great." So, you know, six million-

• 1:39:06Sam Morril?

  That happened to me on a show too, a similar Holocaust thing, a woman was offended that I was making fun of crystals. And she was like, I was like, I literally was doing Hitler material two minutes ago.

• 1:39:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but, you know, pick and choose.

• 1:39:17Sam Morril?

  Same shit.

• 1:39:17Mark Normand?

  And it's like you were saying, why, rappers say crazy shit, but no one really seems to care, but they care what you say.

• 1:39:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but there's a certain type of people who's, who's getting offended, and they think that, that we're gonna react differently.

• 1:39:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:29Sam Morril?

  Which is like, kinda racist to begin with.

• 1:39:31Mark Normand?

  In the words of Adam Carolla, "PETA never goes to the players' ball. It's all for a coast." But they never go there and throw the paint, cause you know, some shit might go down.

• 1:39:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, oh my god, that's, yeah, you're right, it's the same as like, um, ICE is not going after, uh, drug dealers and gang bangers, they're going to, they're going to kindergarten graduations and Home Depot.

• 1:39:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:39:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, we gotta get the, we got their supervillains out there. Yeah, I gotta get down and, uh, my god, there's that, there's, there's a MS-13 strawberry cartel that we gotta-

• 1:40:02Mark Normand?

  That'd be a great twist if they just got Melania, you know, she'd never do the paperwork just randomly.

• 1:40:08Speaker 00

  I think she'd be glad to go at this point.

• 1:40:09Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:40:10Speaker 00

  That'd be, find out if she called them on her, called them on herself. "There's a immigrant at the White House, you need to get down here." She's, oh my god, she's, she's spending everybody's money.

• 1:40:20Mark Normand?

  He was gonna deport Elon for a second, which would've been, would've been fun, just to have Elon in the pen with all those other guys.

• 1:40:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they're still gonna be tweeting.

• 1:40:27Speaker 00

  He still would've found a way to tweet. Poor, god. These guys, you have billions of dollars. Think of the life you could live. Think of the, you got all these kids. Think of the, and you're fucking tweeting. If I had a, I forgot who said this. If you gave me a billion dollars, you'd never hear from me again. You'd never hear from me again. I wouldn't bother anybody.

• 1:40:48Mark Normand?

  Well, that's one of the perks of how fucking nuts Twitter is, is like, you know, I have tweets from 2006 where I'm like, oh, this and that. No one cares. There's a guy getting, you know, his head cut off with a butter knife. You know, so like, people are like, alright, we'll deal with that later. Let's focus on the butter knife video.

• 1:41:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:41:04Mark Normand?

  There's so much crazy shit, it's hard to keep track of your shit.

• 1:41:07Sam Morril?

  You gotta get us some better knives, dude.

• 1:41:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, way better knives, come on, man.

• 1:41:09Mark Normand?

  They're all dull.

• 1:41:10Sam Morril?

  It's a bad knife.

• 1:41:11Speaker 00

  Alright, where you gonna be? You on the road there, Patty? Oh, where am I gonna be? This comes out, hold on, this comes out on the 17th.

• 1:41:17Mark Normand?

  17th of August.

• 1:41:18Speaker 00

  Uh, 17th of August, I'm gonna be at the, um, wait, what, my god, they have so much shit going on up there.

• 1:41:22Mark Normand?

  I think we solved cancel culture, guys. I think we got to the bottom of it.

• 1:41:26Sam Morril?

  I don't think white people have talked about cancel culture enough. I'm glad we weighed in on that.

• 1:41:30Speaker 00

  Well, I mean, you can go to, I know, so much shit coming up. Uh, you can go to PattonOzawa.com. I mean, I'm gonna be in, um, Eugene, Oregon, at the Olsen Run Comedy Club. But all those shows are sold out, so I don't know why I just said that. But, uh, in October, I'm doing stuff across Milwaukee. I'm doing Flint, Michigan.

• 1:41:47Sam Morril?

  Nice.

• 1:41:48Speaker 00

  Um, uh, so there's a lot of, a lot of tour dates are coming up. Check the website, uh, the tickets are selling. Really, oh, there you go, yeah. I'll be in Wilmington, Delaware, uh, in October. Uh, I'll be in Hammond, Indiana. Oh, that's gonna be interesting.

• 1:42:04Sam Morril?

  I've been there.

• 1:42:05Speaker 00

  You've been to Hammond?

• 1:42:06Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, we did a, this Chris DiStefano and I did a gig there where we were doing a casino and they wouldn't let his daughter in. It was like a state rule that she can't come in. We're like, I know, but we're the show, can we just, and they were like, no. So I had to watch her while he was on stage outside. It was a mess, it was...

• 1:42:22Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:42:23Mark Normand?

  Geez, that's how Jared Fogle started.

• 1:42:26Speaker 00

  Oh, and I'm gonna be in Austin in September, uh, at the Paramount on Friday, the 19th.

• 1:42:31Mark Normand?

  Great room.

• 1:42:32Speaker 00

  That's gonna be great because I come in really early that week and I'm a judge at the Fantastic Fest, so I get to watch movies all week. What? And then I get to do the Paramount that night, so... I couldn't, I'm gonna be in heaven that week.

• 1:42:43Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:42:44Speaker 00

  Gonna be at the Alamo watching a weird new horror and science fiction movies.

• 1:42:48Mark Normand?

  Love it.

• 1:42:48Speaker 00

  And then doing shows. I couldn't be happier.

• 1:42:50Mark Normand?

  But just watch out that Alamo, you gotta eat in the dark.

• 1:42:52Speaker 00

  You do gotta eat in the dark.

• 1:42:54Mark Normand?

  Weird feeling.

• 1:42:55Speaker 00

  It is, it is a little, yeah.

• 1:42:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you're like, is this, are there bugs in this? I have no idea.

• 1:42:59Sam Morril?

  I got the Irvine Improv, the 22nd, the 24th, then I'll be in Oklahoma City, that'll be fun, the Bricktown Club.

• 1:43:05Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 1:43:06Sam Morril?

  The Venetian in Vegas, Rochester, New York, we got Chicago Theater will be fun, Winnipeg, Canada. And then I'm going to Europe, Barcelona, Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin.

• 1:43:19Speaker 00

  Where in London?

• 1:43:20Sam Morril?

  Uh, the Shepherd's Bush Empire, it's a really cool one. I love that theater.

• 1:43:24Speaker 00

  Okay, can I tell a quick story?

• 1:43:26Sam Morril?

  Please, please.

• 1:43:28Speaker 00

  The first ever gig I did in London in the UK was at the Shepherd's Bush Empire.

• 1:43:32Sam Morril?

  Whoa. Sick.

• 1:43:33Speaker 00

  Well.

• 1:43:34Sam Morril?

  I will say I did not have an amazing set last time I was there, but.

• 1:43:37Speaker 00

  It is, it is an amazing room, okay, don't get me wrong, I'm not putting down.

• 1:43:40Mark Normand?

  Hold up a photo of the room, I'm dying to see.

• 1:43:41Speaker 00

  But I was opening up for Amy Mann and Michael Penn.

• 1:43:45Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:43:45Speaker 00

  I was touring with them, cuz they don't like doing stage banter, so they would have a comedian.

• 1:43:49Mark Normand?

  Sorry. I've been sitting on that for an hour and a half.

• 1:43:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, sorry.

• 1:43:55Mark Normand?

  Keep going.

• 1:43:56Speaker 00

  Can we cut out everything but that?

• 1:44:00Sam Morril?

  Oh, God.

• 1:44:03Speaker 00

  So I'm opening up for Amy Mann and Michael Penn, they don't like doing stage banter, so they have a comedian open for them, and then you intro all their songs and they let you say whatever you want. She'll go, I'm gonna go, uh, this next song is about, uh, the fact that every year forty thousand ring-tailed squirrels are killed. Because of, uh, industrial logging, and then she has to go sing, you know, like, uh, Voices of Carrie or something, she's so confused. So.

• 1:44:26Mark Normand?

  Wow, look at that, it's beautiful.

• 1:44:27Speaker 00

  Oh, it's a gorgeous room, okay. See how big that room is? So they say, okay, uh, you're going out first, we're ready to go. So I go out and the room, the way, you know, the lighting is you cannot see anyone.

• 1:44:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:39Speaker 00

  And that mean, it is classic theater lighting, it is, you're looking at darkness, so I go up and I start my bits. I do a couple bits, nothing, no laughs, nothing, and I mean, not even rustling and coughing, nothing. Silence, and then I start doing that thing where I'm talking a little faster because I'm getting nervous, oh my fucking god. This is my London debut, I'm eating it, and, oh my god, this is so horrible, and then. Conversation kind of starts in the back of the room. People start talking to each other and then it starts moving down toward the front. Like people are like, and then I finally do my like last bit and there's just kind of a, you know, like, okay, then, uh, Amy Man will be out in just a second. Okay, right. And then I went off stage just sweating and freaking out.

• 1:45:24Speaker 00

  And then the club owner was like, okay, uh, the, the crowd's almost done, uh, seating. And, uh, I go, what do you mean almost done seating? They go, well, we let them in like halfway through your set. I'm like, what? Oh my god. He goes, yeah, we let them in. He thought like comedy was like ambient music, like it could just be a thing.

• 1:45:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:45:42Speaker 00

  Which means that a sold out, um, uh, crowd at that venue walked in and saw me alone on stage just talking. And then the other thing, like, like this fucking maniac. And so they were all walking in to get their seat. That was the conversation.

• 1:45:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they thought it was performance art. They didn't think it was comedy.

• 1:46:01Speaker 00

  The fuck is going on here? And then, and then I just said, okay. And then Amy Man will be, and then they clap for that, like, oh, good. He's done talking.

• 1:46:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:08Speaker 00

  And I went, I was like, that was my fucking London debut.

• 1:46:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, that sucks.

• 1:46:13Speaker 00

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:46:14Mark Normand?

  You were just Pandora. It was on.

• 1:46:16Speaker 00

  I was, I was Pandora.

• 1:46:17Sam Morril?

  I should do this to whoever opens for me there.

• 1:46:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:20Sam Morril?

  I got Salt Lake City, then I got Carnegie Hall in New York City. So, oh, and Reno as well.

• 1:46:24Speaker 00

  You're doing Carnegie Hall?

• 1:46:24Sam Morril?

  I am, I'm pumped, dude.

• 1:46:26Mark Normand?

  Very exciting.

• 1:46:26Sam Morril?

  Reno, Nevada as well, I forgot Reno, but yeah.

• 1:46:28Mark Normand?

  Local boy makes good. That's exciting.

• 1:46:31Speaker 00

  Who's opening for you?

• 1:46:32Sam Morril?

  Veder, Gary Veder. That's my guy.

• 1:46:34Speaker 00

  When I, when I did Carnegie Hall, I had Bridget, uh,

• 1:46:38Sam Morril?

  Everett?

• 1:46:38Speaker 00

  Everett opened for me. She sang.

• 1:46:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, big mistake. Tough to follow. I've had to follow her.

• 1:46:43Speaker 00

  So fucking good. And, and she had two backups. She was doing all her songs and one of her backup singers was, um, uh, Adam from the Beastie Boys.

• 1:46:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, cool.

• 1:46:53Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:46:54Speaker 00

  I mean, Ad Rock.

• 1:46:55Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:46:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was one of the backup singers.

• 1:46:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:58Speaker 00

  Fuck, like she didn't tell me if she was gonna bring them out.

• 1:47:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:01Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 1:47:01Speaker 00

  God damn it.

• 1:47:03Mark Normand?

  Jesus.

• 1:47:03Speaker 00

  And then I had to go out, but it ended up, I mean, that room is just.

• 1:47:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I've never, I've never played there.

• 1:47:08Speaker 00

  Oh, you're gonna love it.

• 1:47:09Mark Normand?

  You never played?

• 1:47:10Sam Morril?

  No, I remember Jimmy Carr invited us both and I couldn't make it that night.

• 1:47:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a, it's a banger.

• 1:47:14Sam Morril?

  It's awesome.

• 1:47:14Speaker 00

  It's beautiful, it's so, and it's like, when you're backstage, it's like, when you're backstage at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville.

• 1:47:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:20Speaker 00

  And you see the pictures of who's been up there, you're like, fuck, oh my god, oh my god.

• 1:47:24Sam Morril?

  You're like Elvis fucked in that broom closet, you're like, oh shit.

• 1:47:27Mark Normand?

  I think the first comedy album was done there, am I nuts?

• 1:47:31Sam Morril?

  In the Ryman or Carnegie?

• 1:47:32Mark Normand?

  No, no, Carnegie. It might have been Shelley Berman.

• 1:47:35Sam Morril?

  I know Ray Romano's got that great bit about the, the anal leakage and he's like, I'm the only person that's had anal leakage in this venue. I love that.

• 1:47:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, wait, 1898, get the hell out of here.

• 1:47:45Speaker 00

  Wow, what the hell?

• 1:47:46Mark Normand?

  Forget I brought it up.

• 1:47:47Sam Morril?

  Mark, where you gonna be, dude?

• 1:47:48Speaker 00

  Mark, what's coming up for you, Mark?

• 1:47:50Mark Normand?

  All right, well, I'm doing a premiere of The Rats Are Coming.

• 1:47:53Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:47:54Mark Normand?

  Um, what do we got?

• 1:47:55Speaker 00

  But hang on, the wearables are already there.

• 1:47:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:56Speaker 00

  So you'll be bringing the rats, so they are, they are coming though?

• 1:47:59Mark Normand?

  They're, they're on the way.

• 1:48:00Speaker 00

  Whoa, that's, so they said yes?

• 1:48:02Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:48:02Speaker 00

  A lot of time, that's, they're hard to get, man. Wow, that's, that's exciting, okay, we'll definitely go see that.

• 1:48:07Mark Normand?

  I'm in Calgary at the Great Outdoors with Adam Ray, and then I'm at the Palazzo as well, right before you, thank god. A lot of crossover.

• 1:48:15Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:48:15Mark Normand?

  Doing a nine show, sold out run at the Addison Improv, just trying to work this hour, and then Akron, Dayton, Halifax, Ottawa, Huntsville, Hattiesburg, San Jose, Boulder, Athens. We're going to Greece, Oslo, Helsinki, Stockholm.

• 1:48:30Sam Morril?

  We're circling each other, dude.

• 1:48:31Mark Normand?

  I know, Dublin, Valley Center.

• 1:48:33Speaker 00

  You're prowling the continent.

• 1:48:34Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly. Timonium at Magoob's, that'll be a nice humble pie.

• 1:48:39Speaker 00

  Wait, I'm sorry, wait, wait, wait, hang on, I'm sorry, you're going, wait.

• 1:48:44Mark Normand?

  I gotta build an hour, I'm shooting a special in September, so I gotta go back to the, to the clubs and.

• 1:48:48Speaker 00

  I just love it, we'll be in Luxembourg and Paris, and then, and then triumphantly ending in Timonium.

• 1:48:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:56Speaker 00

  And Tracy's at the Bowman, and that is, that's, that's free cod, free deep fried cod.

• 1:49:02Mark Normand?

  Funny Bone Gaza, after that, and the Lincoln Theater, Kodak in Rochester, Niagara Falls, San Diego.

• 1:49:08Speaker 00

  Oh, Kodak is great. I love Rochester.

• 1:49:11Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:49:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, nice.

• 1:49:13Sam Morril?

  Rochester's pretty cool, man.

• 1:49:14Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah. Black coffee and ice water.

• 1:49:16Speaker 00

  Just recorded it at the, at the Minetta Lane Theater for Audible there.

• 1:49:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:49:23Speaker 00

  It was just a audio recording. It's an album. We're just doing an audio album.

• 1:49:28Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:49:28Speaker 00

  I liked, and I'm telling you, man, and I also shot a special earlier this year, but getting to just like, oh, I'm not being filmed. I can just talk.

• 1:49:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 1:49:37Speaker 00

  And you don't need to be like as performy, and it was so amazing.

• 1:49:41Sam Morril?

  I love listening to stand-up.

• 1:49:42Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:49:43Sam Morril?

  I mean, that's how I got into stand-up, is listening to it.

• 1:49:45Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:49:45Sam Morril?

  By the way, I gotta give a quick shout out. I just watched Jim Norton's new special.

• 1:49:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, killer.

• 1:49:49Sam Morril?

  It's so funny.

• 1:49:49Mark Normand?

  Very funny.

• 1:49:50Sam Morril?

  It is so funny.

• 1:49:51Speaker 00

  What, what is it on?

• 1:49:52Sam Morril?

  It's on YouTube.

• 1:49:53Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:49:53Sam Morril?

  It's dude. It is.

• 1:49:54Mark Normand?

  Really funny.

• 1:49:55Sam Morril?

  Really good.

• 1:49:56Mark Normand?

  Just joke after joke.

• 1:49:56Sam Morril?

  Really good joke writing, really funny. Like, his stuff about his wife is so funny.

• 1:50:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:50:02Sam Morril?

  It's killer.

• 1:50:03Speaker 00

  His stuff, when he, I, I texted him because there, he just had on Colin Quinn and Rich Voss on his podcast.

• 1:50:10Mark Normand?

  Ah, the best.

• 1:50:11Speaker 00

  And him and Colin, just going after Rich Voss. Some of the, I mean, I, there's a clip where Colin calls Rich Voss and goes, "Boy, talk about a Lunch Pail comic."

• 1:50:19Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:50:20Speaker 00

  And it made me laugh so, and, and Jim's laughter is so fu, like, when he laughs at something, when it really gets him, he just goes all out. I'm like, I'm just telling you, I've watched the, I've watched the Lunch Pail comic clip like 30 times. Like, I can't get enough of this.

• 1:50:35Mark Normand?

  Ah, it's great. Yeah, those two, yeah.

• 1:50:36Sam Morril?

  They're so good together.

• 1:50:37Speaker 00

  God.

• 1:50:38Mark Normand?

  Norton's wife is trans. He's got a great bit where she's like, "You peed on the seat." He's like, "Might have been you."

• 1:50:42Sam Morril?

  I love his bit about, about her dick, and he's like, "You think it's hard having a wife who makes more money than you?"

• 1:50:48Mark Normand?

  Ah, so good.

• 1:50:51Sam Morril?

  He's got great stuff.

• 1:50:52Mark Normand?

  I forgot the title of this special. I can't, Uncomprehensible? I can't remember, but, uh, that's on YouTube. Really funny.

• 1:50:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, check it out.

• 1:51:00Speaker 00

  There's a clip of him on O and A back in the day where he goes off about classic rock and how much he, angry he is that Black Sabbath doesn't get the attention, that, that lesser groups like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin are afforded.

• 1:51:16Mark Normand?

  Jeez.

• 1:51:18Speaker 00

  And the argument, it starts off, it's kind of really coherent and like, you know, he's making some points. He loves Black Sabbath. And then it just... Starts getting crazy and you can tell he realizes he's gone off the rails.

• 1:51:29Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:51:30Speaker 00

  But now he will not back down and the way he digs in is so hilarious where he won't like to the point where everyone else is like starting to like at one point he goes, "You two? Sunday bloody Sunday? That's Sabbath bloody Sabbath. It's stolen." And they're like, "Jim, what the?"

• 1:51:46Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:51:48Speaker 00

  They're just like.

• 1:51:48Mark Normand?

  He's obsessed with Ozzy.

• 1:51:49Speaker 00

  Oh, God, it's so funny.

• 1:51:51Sam Morril?

  I saw Ozzy tweeted about the special too, which is.

• 1:51:53Mark Normand?

  No way.

• 1:51:54Sam Morril?

  He did? He tweeted, "You gotta watch Jim's new special."

• 1:51:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's a drug addict.

• 1:51:57Speaker 00

  He must be.

• 1:51:58Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:51:59Speaker 00

  So, so he's back on the song.

• 1:52:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Ah, Jim might be the quickest guy too. He's just so fast, but Quinn got him once. Jim was like talking about bragging about a movie he was in. He's like, "Yeah, we're shooting." Ah, and Quinn goes, "Hopefully yourself."

• 1:52:13Speaker 00

  Ah.

• 1:52:16Speaker 00

  God damn it.

• 1:52:17Mark Normand?

  Ah, well, we went on a weird, weird Jim Norton tear there, but yeah.

• 1:52:21Sam Morril?

  Oh, dude, watch this one. Check out Patton's old stuff too. Check out Norton's special. So it's on Audible. And what's it called, Patton?

• 1:52:27Speaker 00

  It's not yet. It's called Black Coffee and Ice Water. It'll be out in November on Audible.

• 1:52:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 1:52:32Speaker 00

  It's their first, ah, like, audio comedy special they've ever done. So I'm very, very honored and really excited and I'm like, "Why the fuck haven't I just been putting out albums instead of?"

• 1:52:43Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:52:43Speaker 00

  This is so much better. Like the, the, the, the way you talk is you're so much more relaxed.

• 1:52:49Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:52:49Speaker 00

  You gotta do a special.

• 1:52:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:52:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, comedy's best listened to medium driving or whatever.

• 1:52:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's how I, that's how I take it in usually.

• 1:52:57Mark Normand?

  That's the best way.

• 1:52:57Sam Morril?

  I love an album the best.

• 1:52:58Mark Normand?

  You don't want to see this when you're watching comedy, why? Look at this. My God, shirtless, my torso looks like Walter Matthau's face.

• 1:53:05Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:53:06Mark Normand?

  It's not good. Thank you, folks. Folks, see you later.

• 1:53:09Sam Morril?

  See you later.

• 1:53:10Mark Normand?

  Take it easy.

• 1:53:58Speaker 04

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