Drake Definitely Beats Buffalo, Baker for MVP, a Bad QB Draft, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner With Cousin Sal

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to react to the Patriots taking down the Bills, and other Week 5 highlights (2:33). Then, they have a bad QB fantasy draft before guessing the lines for Week 6 and ending with Parent Corner (50:33). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Eduardo Ocampo Fill your fridge with Michelob ULTRA - the official beer partner of the NBA. https://www.doordash.com/p/play-for-an-ultra ENJOY RESPONSIBLY© 2025 ANHEUSER-BUSCH, MICHELOB ULTRA® LIGHT BEER, ST. LOUIS, MO. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I'm pro football Hall of Famer Brian Dawkins, and I lived for a long time with something I did not know the name of: major depressive disorder. I carried sadness and anger because I thought I could handle it alone, but I couldn't. Now I want to make sure others know that that support is out there. If you're experiencing similar symptoms, talk to a healthcare professional. Visit mddallies.com to watch my story.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Paid partnership with Johnson & Johnson. Brian Dawkins has not prescribed Caplyta lumateperone.

• 0:37Speaker 02

  I needed more from my antidepressant, so my doctor added Caplyta lumateperone, proven to provide greater relief from depression symptoms than an antidepressant alone, building on my progress without starting over. Caplyta is for adults with major depressive disorder when used with an antidepressant and is available by prescription only. Individual results may vary. In clinical trials, weight gain was not common.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. Caplyta is not approved for dementia-related psychosis. Call your doctor about new or sudden mood changes, behaviors, or suicidal thoughts right away. Antidepressants may increase these risks. Report fever, confusion, stiff muscles, which may be life-threatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. High cholesterol and weight gain may occur, as can high blood sugar, which may be fatal. Monitoring is recommended. Common side effects are sleepiness, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, feeling tired, and diarrhea. These aren't all the side effects.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Ask your doctor about Caplyta. Learn more at caplyta.com or call 888-252-4824.

• 1:30Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Carhartt. We spend a lot of time talking about football, the players, the coaches, the big plays, but there's a whole other team we rarely think about, the people who make the game possible, the workers building stadiums, paving parking lots, growing the grass, welding the goalposts, even making the footballs. They're committed to their craft and they're doing the work long before kickoff. Carhartt is proud to outfit those crews. So next time you're watching a game, take a second to appreciate the people behind it. Learn more at carhartt.com/jointhetraids.

• 2:01Bill Simmons?

  The Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by FanDuel Sportsbook. We are also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network where I have a new rewatchables coming on Monday. It is Robert Redford Month. We did Jeremiah Johnson, one of Redford's all timers. This was with Chris Ryan and my dad, only the second time that he's ever been on a rewatchables and probably the last time. Shawshank and Jeremiah Johnson are his two favorite movies. So it's the three of us. That is coming Monday. If you like the show Task, we've been covering that on the Prestige TV podcast as well. We have a lot of NBA stuff coming because suddenly the NBA season is starting a week from now. So you can check out the Ringer NBA Show. You can check out Zach Lowe's podcast, but

• 2:44Bill Simmons?

  we have a lot of, a lot of good basketball content and there'll be a bunch of stuff on this podcast coming next week. So stay tuned for that. You can watch the videos on, on my YouTube channel as well. You can watch the rewatchables videos on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. And coming up on this podcast, I'm taping the intro after what happened in the Patriots Bills game. It was a very happy night for me. I tried to contain myself, but Cousin Sal came on and a lot of stuff happened on this podcast, but it was, I'm not sweaty. I'm just glistening. I'm glistening with joy after an unbelievable Patriots win. It's all coming up next. We're going to take a break, bring in Pearl Jam

• 3:24Bill Simmons?

  and then Cousin Sal. This is the Bill Simmons Podcast presented by FanDuel. If you're betting on the NFL, come on. FanDuel is the place to do it. They've got everything. Same game parlays, quick bets for when you want to jump in live your way. So you can set your own lines on just about anything. The app's fast. It's easy to use. And best of all, when you win, you get paid instantly. I've been in Boston, Massachusetts recently. Guess what I did? Used FanDuel. Super fun. Download the FanDuel app or go to FanDuel.com/BS to get started. Must be 21 plus, present in select states, 18 plus in DC, Kentucky and Wyoming. Game problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit RG-help.com. Call 888-797-777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut.

• 4:34Bill Simmons?

  All right, live on YouTube on a Sunday night, Cousin Sal is here. I just watched my favorite football team beat Josh Allen in Buffalo. Say it, Sal. Drake definitely was the man of the game.

• 4:48Speaker 04

  I'm saying it.

• 4:49Bill Simmons?

  My guy, my guy. I never stopped believing Drake definitely came through some big ass plays. We needed some wow plays from him. All the, all the worst guys in the team made penalties in the, in the second half. And I started to wonder if it was going to happen and, and they held on, Sal. What'd you see?

• 5:08Speaker 04

  Uh, I am not going to love this, Bill. This is going to be a rough 90 minutes or whatever we're doing here. No, he was, he was fricking great. He's still Drake, maybe. Still barely beat the truly terrible Dolphins and lost to the Raiders, but he made every single throw count today. I mean, I don't even know where you want to start. To me, like that last play where he didn't get sacked was as big as anything. And to me, when he rolled right, yeah, when he rolled right and hit, like that was amazing too, by his own 10. But I'll let you go, go ahead, go crazy.

• 5:41Bill Simmons?

  Well, I, I really thought this was like a solid team with a chance to be a playoff team before the year, and then they stunk. And then there were real signs the last two weeks, but they had to show it tonight. The two big things for me, Diggs was incredible. I, I was on text threads with Pats fans, like trying to figure out when was the last time they had a true number one. And as much as I love Edelman, he was like a sort of number one. He wasn't like this. Edelman was amazing. He's one of the best playoff receivers of receivers ever. But he wasn't like this, where it's just like every single time you needed a play, he was just getting open. He was creating yards after. So that, and then Gonzalez was just outstanding. It had the big play of the game, that it was such a good play. It almost seemed like it was pass interference, but they replayed it.

• 6:26Speaker 04

  I would have, did you see a replay? I saw the replay from down the field, from the end zone.

• 6:30Bill Simmons?

  They decided not to show the good replay, I think.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  Cheety Gonzalez is what I call him, but whatever.

• 6:35Bill Simmons?

  But that was just, he didn't play the first couple of games. So, you know, they had enough impact dudes out there. There's still no depth. There's still dudes that are involved that will not be on the team two years from now. But for the most part, like we watch football a day. They're not an elite team, but I think they can, you know, kind of swim around in that next swimming pool. Right?

• 6:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, for sure. And the Diggs thing is fun to me because he wasn't exactly great with the, with the Bills. Right? So when you give the, your ex team an F you, when you didn't really maybe give it your all. Maybe he did give it at all, his all, but he wasn't. It's like, it's always weird. What the hell? That, that must really screw with their minds.

• 7:12Bill Simmons?

  He was good to start the last, the last year I don't think went great.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 7:15Bill Simmons?

  And, you know, he had, and Minnesota too is the same thing where people were unsure of what a great teammate he was. But he's been an amazing teammate on the Pats.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  He's found a home blood.

• 7:25Bill Simmons?

  They've been saying it all year, like leader, leader, leader. Sometimes these guys find it in their early 30s. But what'd you think of the Buffalo side of this before we dive into more Pat stuff? Because they were really sloppy. They couldn't get Cook going. And the Pats, I think have an excellent run D. Cook could never really get unlocked, but I don't know. They, it just, it's a pretty choppy game for a Sunday night NBC game by them.

• 7:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, for sure. Especially the first half hour or so, right? There were three turnovers. You guys went back and forth and that's kind, you kind of needed everything that happened to the Bills today. To win that game, right? They had the two, coming into this game, I think they only had two turnovers, right? Of the whole season.

• 8:04Bill Simmons?

  They gave us two in the first half.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Two in the first half.

• 8:07Bill Simmons?

  Four extra points by not going for it on the one yard line with four seconds left, which I did not. I thought they should have gone for it because you need points to beat Josh Allen. I just would have, I, I just feel like Drake should be able to get a yard on a sneak. He's six foot four, he's 230 pounds. Like we should be able to get a yard.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  I don't know why that wasn't the play with 10 seconds left, the sneak, because you had a timeout left, right? Well, what was it? Six seconds? I don't know what you have, forget what you had there.

• 8:32Bill Simmons?

  We had the four seconds left.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  Four seconds left.

• 8:34Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. It's just, I thought they got conservative, but obviously they felt like they could slow down Buffalo's defense enough. Turned out to be the right call. It was, it was a brable masterclass.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  It really was.

• 8:44Bill Simmons?

  I thought, uh, he really liked the pace of the game, how they tried to control, keep Josh off the field. It was all the stuff like he did when he was in Tennessee. I also want to say, um,

• 8:55Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 8:55Bill Simmons?

  I'm celebrating. I have, I don't know if you can see it, but I have a nice hot water with a lemon.

• 9:01Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna burn my hand pulling it out.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  Is this the Bill Simmons? Like there's an Arnold Palmer's?

• 9:07Bill Simmons?

  No, it's the Drake May. That's what this is. The hot water with the lemon victory drink.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  It's good.

• 9:13Bill Simmons?

  Which is why I'm sweaty right now. Uh, listen, on behalf of all Patriots fans, you know, we had Brady for two decades. Before that, we didn't really ever have anybody. And then we hit that bleak, you don't have a quarterback stage at things again. Where, and we knew the whole time with Brady. It wasn't like we were like, oh, I'm taking this for granted. It was like, oh, man, this is gonna end. It's gonna suck. And then you have all these dudes and Mac Jones turned out to be disappointing. I'm glad he's found himself a little in San Francisco and Cam Newton and, you know, Warriors in there, all the, Zappi, all these dudes. And you start to wonder like, how many years are we just not gonna have a quarterback? Like if you're the Raiders right now, if you're the Browns, you know, sometimes this could be two, three decades.

• 9:54Bill Simmons?

  And they have a guy. And so they beat Buffalo, but more importantly, like they have a guy, they know they have a guy. And there's only 10 of them and they have one of them.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Love this. Love this. Love that you're overconfident again. Love that this means we could, we could wait a couple of weeks before digging into Zion's gonna win comeback player of the year for the 16th.

• 10:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. I love right where you are. No, but of course I, I get what you're saying. We sit through those 1pm Eastern games and you have to figure out, I think we're gonna do the exercise in a few minutes. Yeah, we're gonna do a bad QB draft later. I mean, we saw so many bad quarterbacks today.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  So many, so many.

• 10:30Bill Simmons?

  And that's it. It's like, it's like having a herp. Like it's it. It's just, it's on your lip for the next 20 years. When you have one of these quarterbacks. I call it a herp.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  A herp?

• 10:39Bill Simmons?

  Yes.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  A herp?

• 10:42Bill Simmons?

  A herp. Never heard of that.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  Oh, my God. Now everyone's gonna forget about the hot water because the herp is, uh,

• 10:48Bill Simmons?

  Well, I'm not gonna forget because I'm starting to sweat. I probably need to airbrush it.

• 10:52Speaker 04

  You're gonna scald your throat for no reason. 77 degrees.

• 10:55Bill Simmons?

  Of course, my wife was hanging out in the back with a friend of hers having rosé and then came in and there was like, it was just classic, two and a half minutes left. And I was like, hey. You know, and then she looked and saw the score and at least we've been together long enough where she was like, oh, it's 2020.

• 11:12Speaker 04

  Right.

• 11:12Bill Simmons?

  Eight and a half point underdogs. What'd you think of that line? Did you take the Pats, by the way?

• 11:17Speaker 04

  No, I didn't take the Pats. Ask me the other side. Ask me if I had the Bills money line to close out a bunch of parlays. That's, that's the question you should be asking.

• 11:25Bill Simmons?

  Well, I know you had the Cardinals. I cannot, absolutely cannot wait to talk about that.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  No, we can't talk about that. I'm gonna need till Wednesday before I talk about that.

• 11:33Bill Simmons?

  So there are no undefeated teams left. And there is only one winless team. The Jets of New York City.

• 11:40Speaker 04

  Right.

• 11:40Bill Simmons?

  Even though they play in New Jersey. And there's a bunch of four win teams. I have no idea who the best team in the AFC is anymore.

• 11:49Bill Simmons?

  And I'm not even sure who the best team in the NFC is anymore. And I'm not even sure who the 14 playoff teams are. But tonight was the first night I felt like the Pats could sneak into the six, seven range.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:00Bill Simmons?

  Baltimore with the year from hell. If Cincinnati's out with Burrow. We thought maybe Vegas, even if you give two playoff teams to the AFC South. Probably one from the North. And then the Chargers today. Who their offensive line just like completely cratered and their defense kind of died and they looked terrible. So we might only get two, two from the AFC West.

• 12:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:23Bill Simmons?

  So that does leave a spot for them. The schedule's super easy. And, uh,

• 12:28Speaker 04

  Well, you thought that going into the year.

• 12:30Bill Simmons?

  You had them as the seventh seed. Yeah, then they've lost to Las Vegas, who hasn't won since and who looks like they're one of the worst teams in the league. So.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  You're back at it. You're back at it. It is anyone's game. I still think the Bills are the premier team in the AFC, although I, you would think that the smack downs at home would occur like, you know, they, they had a little trouble with the Saints last week too, before they got, you know, righted the ship. And then this week, it's interesting, interesting. This is why we watch every week.

• 12:57Bill Simmons?

  You go back, you look at the Bills first four. In that 41 to 40 Ravens game, that seemed so awesome and seemed like it was gonna be an AFC title preview. We don't feel that way anymore. They beat the Jets. Everyone's beating the Jets.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 13:10Bill Simmons?

  Beat the Dolphins by 10. They beat the Saints who hung around. They couldn't beat the Pats today. They don't really have an awesome start to finish win yet. Whereas I look at a team like Denver that's three and two. It's two plays away from being 5-0. But has some, you know, good start to finish performances. I thought they were great today. Like if you, if you're just talking about best both sides teams in the AFC right now, I'm not saying it's gonna last, but I think Denver has probably the, they probably bring the most things to the table out of all the AFC teams. Buffalo is Josh, which is the difference.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  Well, that was the defense, right? That we thought would show up at some point that we saw last year with Denver. They were excellent. I think they dropped, they dropped them five or six times, Hertz. Probably five. But um, yeah, really good. And you know, we killed Knicks all week and last two weeks and his QBR is bottom four, bottom five, but he made some big throws too.

• 14:04Bill Simmons?

  House called him out on the podcast and, cause he really wanted to take the Eagles money line. It was like a Bo Nix sticks a tuss, so be it. He's been blah, blah, blah. And he was really bad for the first two hours of that game and then kind of rose. Can we do Mike and the Mad Dog for the rest of the Pat schedule? Do you want to be Mike or, Mike or Dog?

• 14:23Speaker 04

  I always like being the dog, but.

• 14:24Bill Simmons?

  All right, you be the dog, I'll be Mike.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 14:27Bill Simmons?

  Patriots are three and two.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Week six at New Orleans. This is a tricky, tricky game, Bill. Little bit of letdown. We saw what they did in the Superdome. Don't give it a W just yet, but I'll tell you what, we'll give them a win.

• 14:43Bill Simmons?

  We'll give them a win.

• 14:44Speaker 04

  Okay. At the Titans. Against his old team, you know, they both had this circled on the calendar. It's gotta be a win. They don't win this, forget it.

• 14:54Bill Simmons?

  So if they, I forgot to be Mike. So Dog, if they, if they beat the Saints and Titans, they're 5-2.

• 15:01Speaker 04

  Home Cleveland, week eight.

• 15:05Speaker 04

  I know that defense comes alive, but again, this is a verbal victory right here. I think you get three in a row, including this build. Yeah, you're gonna win that one.

• 15:13Bill Simmons?

  So that, I'm gonna be Bill for a second. No, I'm gonna be Bill for a second.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  So they're already on a two game winning streak. So beating Saints Titans Browns would be a five game winning streak. That feels too good to be true. Six and two, they're either five and three or six and two, I think realistically. All right, back to me, Mike. Week nine, week nine Atlanta home.

• 15:37Bill Simmons?

  All right, now I'm gonna be Bill for a second. Anytime Penix has walked up against this, no, uh, uh, Atlanta, Atlanta's home, it's in New York.

• 15:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, all right, we'll scrap back at the dot.

• 15:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, week nine's Atlanta. Week 10 is at Tampa.

• 15:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:53Bill Simmons?

  That's a tough one. Week 11, Thursday, Jets. I don't know what quarterback the Jets will be on at that point. Week 12, at Bengals, no, no Borough.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 16:03Bill Simmons?

  Week 13, home for the Giants on a Monday night. Week 14, bye. Week 15, Bills. Week 16, at Ravens. Week 17, at Jets. Week 18, Dolphins. Like, this is why I picked them to make the playoffs. That's some fucking crazy schedule. They have three hard games.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  You know, this has gotten so bad that I'm now looking at them to win the division. I hate, I hate that I'm doing this.

• 16:28Bill Simmons?

  This is great.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  Plus 360? That's actually about right, right?

• 16:32Bill Simmons?

  They're plus 360 to win the division?

• 16:34Speaker 04

  Oh, look at you now. Look at you.

• 16:36Bill Simmons?

  No, that seems low. Well, Buffalo has, I mean, just their hard road games left, at Atlanta, at Houston, at the Patriots, at Cleveland. I mean, they have an easy schedule, too. This was the whole thing with the AFC East, why we thought there might be two.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  If you can beat them again at home, that's, um, of course it's your division to take, I think.

• 16:56Bill Simmons?

  By the way, when we talk about, we have a quarterback, thank God. Like, you're, you have that with Dak right now. Like, Dak's been great this season.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  He's like 30, but, yeah, yeah.

• 17:05Bill Simmons?

  I know, but he's, you know, I think Dak, people kind of forgot, I don't think he had, uh, the greatest year last year, but watching all the TVs today, he was one of the most competent guys by far.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I, I just don't know with the Jets. I really don't know. I, I can't give that too much credence, but, you know, he's doing this without C.D. Lamb. He's, he's tossing the ball and, um, you know, it's getting good results.

• 17:29Bill Simmons?

  Offensive lineman?

• 17:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:31Bill Simmons?

  You guys are missing a whole bunch of people. Yeah, so just quickly on that game Cowboys Jets. Fields now 0 and 26. When the other team scores 21 plus points. I think that's the most amazing stat in the NFL. So if you get to 21 points, Fields can't win, basically. 0 and 26, like, think how many games that is. That's almost two seasons of games.

• 17:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, even your defense could score and it wouldn't help you because you're scoring less than 20 there. Wow, yeah, I feel bad for that coach. I don't want to say they're the worst team in the league, but when you don't have wins five weeks in, you're right there and it feels like Aaron Glenn's, the team's punking it, right? They can't tackle, they, you know, they, they have four, like you said, Fields, four and a half yards per pass, I think, allowed five sacks to the Cowboys who had five sacks all year.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  You know, that said, we're a game and a half behind the Eagles with the home matchup against them. So NFC East is ours. I can't believe we're not favored.

• 18:29Bill Simmons?

  I was gonna ask you.

• 18:31Speaker 04

  No.

• 18:32Bill Simmons?

  9, 7 and 1 is a possible Cowboys record.

• 18:37Bill Simmons?

  I'm just saying it's possible. Is that a playoff spot in the NFC? Is that a seven seed?

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Oh, I think so.

• 18:43Bill Simmons?

  9, 7 and 1.

• 18:44Speaker 04

  I think so. I think there'll be a 9 and 8 battling at the end, but I don't, we have a really tough, I don't want to mic in the Mad Dog this, but we have a

• 18:50Bill Simmons?

  No, you do have a tough one.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  We have a tough stretch, games like weeks 12 through 17 is bad.

• 18:56Bill Simmons?

  It was an interesting game today because like Sheil had a stat that the Jets had the most 10 plus plays, 10 plus yard plays today. They had 19 10 plus yard plays. They actually moved the ball. They had, they got stopped on a couple of fourth downs. They had a fumble inside the 10. They're also defensively, I can't believe this stat's true, but I read it on ESPN, so I'm assuming it's true. They're the first team since 1933.

• 19:26Bill Simmons?

  To not have a defensive turnover in the first five games, to not have a single turnover.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 19:32Bill Simmons?

  That happened since 1933, apparently.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 19:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. How's that possible? But I guess it's possible.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 19:39Bill Simmons?

  It's almost 100 years.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  I feel, now I feel extra bad for Aaron Glenn because that's, he, he has to count on at least three turnovers through five weeks.

• 19:47Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  That's despicable.

• 19:48Bill Simmons?

  Be his big thing, right?

• 19:49Speaker 04

  Right.

• 19:50Bill Simmons?

  So then, uh, I think Rich Chimini is one of the, um, one of the guys who covers the team. He said that first half that they played was on par with the Gase era, the worst of that, the worst of, what did he say? The coat tight era, like the, the worst coaches they've ever had. It was the worst half he'd seen since.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  I thought he said Gay Sarah. I was like, what? What do you say? What is this?

• 20:11Bill Simmons?

  Uh, remember Adam Gase when?

• 20:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

• 20:14Bill Simmons?

  The eyes flowing out. Yeah.

• 20:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:17Bill Simmons?

  So on the Cowboys, are you, you in theory? Do we have to send you in their committee to Dallas? Like, what are you thinking?

• 20:24Speaker 04

  I just want all ties.

• 20:25Bill Simmons?

  You never won anything with Micah Parsons.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  I was bummed with in tie. I wanted like 14 ties at the end of the year. I wanted to go like, you know, the.

• 20:31Bill Simmons?

  Like eight, six and three?

• 20:33Speaker 04

  No, not even that much. Two, three and 11th, you know, like a English premiere record or something, but, uh, yeah, I'm all right. I was, I was overall happy with the 40-40 performance and, uh, I'll be all right again until like November when it gets tough again. So we should beat the Panthers. So, and we have trouble with them typically. Um, and so let's see what happens next week.

• 20:57Bill Simmons?

  Well, you seem fairly well coached, at least on offense.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:02Speaker 04

  So he's good. Yeah. You know, you like that round. I haven't seen that. You see that roundup, um, the locker room speeches by the coaches.

• 21:08Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. I didn't see his today. Was it good?

• 21:10Speaker 04

  Good. Yeah. He said the players usually sit in the back of the plane. Today the players sit in the front of the plane. That's what happens when you get a road win. So that's nice. Saving some steps.

• 21:21Bill Simmons?

  Well, it feels like there's an incredible amount of pressure on those speeches now.

• 21:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, right, right.

• 21:26Bill Simmons?

  They got a guy with a 4K HD camera, seven inches from your face, and you basically have to turn into Pacino in any given Sunday every week. And you've got to remember who the four people who get the game balls, and you got to go around, you got to make eye contact with everybody, you got to have the right enthusiasm. Like, what if somebody's just not good at that? They just have the no cameras?

• 21:46Speaker 04

  Then they're not going to get the Oscar. They're not getting the Coach of the Year Award. I mean, I really do think, everything else equal, those dumb speeches make a difference, you know? Not that Dan Campbell's won too many of them, but I think he's great at that.

• 21:58Bill Simmons?

  Do you think Dennis Green must be, wherever he is, I don't know if he's dead or alive, if Dennis Green is like, like, man, I really miss my era. If we'd been in this era, being filmed with the post-game speech with the 4K camera, I would have been fucking Newt Rockting.

• 22:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:15Bill Simmons?

  It'd been amazing.

• 22:16Speaker 04

  Is there a class you should take before that? Is that as important as everything? And so that you should take a class to just kick ass in 40 seconds in a post-game?

• 22:25Bill Simmons?

  It's longer than that. It's like four minutes.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  Oh, the ones that show.

• 22:29Bill Simmons?

  You have to remember, like, different things.

• 22:32Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 22:32Bill Simmons?

  I like when they have to, when they throw the game ball and the guy has to then talk.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 22:37Bill Simmons?

  And it's like the, it's like the Nickelback or like the kicker. You're like, yo, we got a great group of guys in here, man. We got to keep it up, man. Let's keep, let's keep working. And they just kind of, they don't know what to say. They need to coach those guys too. Yeah, they're just not ready for it. And then some guys will be amazing.

• 22:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:56Bill Simmons?

  All of a sudden, they're like, they're turning into like a preacher.

• 22:59Speaker 04

  Some go too long. They should maybe play them off or do the comedian thing where they shine the light or something. But yeah, it sucks all the energy out. The long snapper doesn't need to go for three and a half minutes.

• 23:10Bill Simmons?

  My favorite was last week when that, we talked about that Ben Johnson one last week. When he was basically like, this is what we knew. And it was like, They, the other team could have had a field goal and you would have lost. All they had to do is make a field goal. You're not giving a speech.

• 23:25Speaker 04

  Well, we could talk, we could talk about the Titans when we get to them, but that speech can only include about what the other team did to fuck up and not how great your team was, but.

• 23:34Bill Simmons?

  The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by FanDuel, the FanDuel Sportsbook app. Your home for all your favorite NFL bets from yards to touchdowns to who will win. And when the Chiefs and Jaguars play Monday night, tonight, FanDuel giving all customers a 50% same game parlay PBT or a 30% any bet PBT. I think the Chiefs are going to win. I believe in the Chiefs on a Monday night. I'd probably do something with Chiefs money line, some sort of high adjusted, adjusted over, like put in the 30s. The Lawrence interception, I think, has to be in there. And then something with Kelsey, like three catches and you're good to go.

• 24:15Bill Simmons?

  FanDuel.com/BS. Bet the Chiefs versus the Jaguars with a 50% same game parlay PBT or 30% any bet type PBT. So you can just do the Chiefs money line and the Eagles money line on Thursday night. You're good to go. Play your game with FanDuel, an official sports betting partner in the NFL. Must be 21 plus, present in select states or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Opt-in required. Rewards are non-mudbarable. Restrictions apply, including bonus and token expiration, leg requirements and max wager amount. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game, problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-888-789-777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut.

• 24:57Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra, the official beer partner of the NBA. You know, the NBA season's almost here when that anticipation kicks in. What trades worked? What rookies are popping? Which teams might flame out by Christmas?

• 25:12Bill Simmons?

  I already had my guard up with this season because the Celtics, obviously a team

• 25:18Bill Simmons?

  in a little bit of flux. And then Jason Tatum posted like a minute of him working out and looking really good. And it broke my brain because for the first time I was like, wow, he might actually be back in the second half of the season. What's that going to mean? Whatever happens when I'm watching all that unfold, I'm doing with the Michelob Ultra in hand. Superior Light Beer, just 95 calories. There are a lot of moments worth playing for, but the ones that taste the best are served cold. Order Michelob Ultra and fill up your fridge as we gear up for NBA season. Cannot wait. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2025. Anheuser-Busch. Michelob Ultra Light Beer, St. Louis, Missouri. The gambling event of the year. Now, we had, we already had one of

• 25:59Bill Simmons?

  the stupidest gambling moments in a long time with that Philadelphia blocked field goal touchdown that we all thought was like, well, this, we won't top that this year. We topped it. Cards Titans, I think is the bar. I think it was a 9.9 for if you bet on Arizona, just your, so my first question is, did you bet on Arizona?

• 26:23Speaker 04

  I, all over the place, all over the place. I had them, the Ringer 107, minus eight and a half, loved it. Had them money line parlay, loved it. Had them in multiple eliminator pools to a point where, you know, when they blow, when a team blows the spread for you, you're like, good, screw them. I hope they lose the game. And even though I knew I was going to be out a bunch of eliminator pools and money and everything else, I still hope they lost the game. And then they lost the game.

• 26:48Bill Simmons?

  That's spiteful.

• 26:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's spiteful. Now I'm angrier. It's funny because like people ask me, my wife is like, don't you get tired of watching the same games over and over? It's like, no, no, they're not the same. Cause in this one, an idiot dropped the ball at the goal line with no one around them. And then another idiot intercepted a ball and then fumbled it. And then a second moron, instead of jumping on it, kicked the ball. Pretty cool, right? Every week it's something different. But 21-6.

• 27:11Bill Simmons?

  We just talked about this last week. We were talking about the degrees of stupidly ruining your own touchdown. Cause who is the guy? Who was the guy who did it last week?

• 27:21Speaker 04

  Donnie Mitchell for the Colts?

• 27:23Bill Simmons?

  The guy in the Colts.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:24Bill Simmons?

  And they'd be 5-0 maybe if he doesn't do that.

• 27:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:27Bill Simmons?

  With the DiMarcato today, this was the worst one. This is, he's slowing down and like dangling it like he's Michael Jackson dangling the baby over the balcony. And just like, just run over the goal line. You have one job. Just keep going. Do it in the end zone. Run into the end zone and then dangle it.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Right.

• 27:46Bill Simmons?

  I like, and also like, we have proof of concept that this is stupid because multiple people have done it and then gotten excoriated for days and weeks afterwards about how dumb they were. And now it's still happening.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. The touchdown drop at the goal line is like, it causes life-changing stress. I really feel it does, like for gamblers and fans of Arizona.

• 28:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  It's affecting the health of like, tens of thousands of people. I know we want to get rid of like red dye and Skittles. It's fine, you know, it's shitty for you. No one's arguing, but betting on guys dropping the ball for no reason is just as much damage to Americans. I really, I feel like they should, you should, first of all, you should have to pay a million dollars if you do that. I don't care where you have to find the ball.

• 28:26Bill Simmons?

  It's a fine.

• 28:26Speaker 04

  A fine and jail time, three years in prison. You hear that, Amari DiMarcato? What a terrible person he turned out to be.

• 28:34Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  Awful.

• 28:35Bill Simmons?

  He's gonna try to do better. He's gonna learn from his mistakes.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  Not with my money backing him.

• 28:40Bill Simmons?

  I think I said this a couple of years ago when this happened, and I'm just gonna reuse the point I made because it was one of my better points. I think you just blackout when you're about to score a touchdown. Like, I think you lose your mind. Like, that guy's running, he had a 76-yard touchdown, right? He's running full speed. He got through. You're sprinting down. Everybody's cheering. You see the goal line at the end. You're on like the big scoreboard. You can see yourself and you're running and you're just like, I think you just like blackout.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  You're out of your mind. How many touchdowns have we seen where they don't drop it at the goal line? They don't blackout? How many touchdowns have this guy?

• 29:16Bill Simmons?

  I think you lose your mind.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  You don't think this guy ever scored touchdowns?

• 29:20Bill Simmons?

  To drop a ball before you go to the goal line?

• 29:22Speaker 04

  Probably had a thousand touchdowns in high school. You don't think?

• 29:25Bill Simmons?

  Give me another explanation. That's my working explanation is you blackout.

• 29:29Speaker 04

  He blacked out? All right.

• 29:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 04

  Well, then he should say that. He should say that. I wonder how, uh, I, I, I hate that.

• 29:35Bill Simmons?

  Alright, so, cause the other explanation is, I thought it would be fun as I crossed the five, to dangle the ball and see how close I could come to losing it while I held on to it. That's the only other explanation.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  I guess. Guys just do stupid things. You know what? Can I say something in his defense? Even though I hate his guts, I do. And I'm not sure they should overturn that, honestly. I, it, it could have been over the, just leave it. Why do this to people? Well, just keep it a touchdown.

• 29:59Bill Simmons?

  Well, so I didn't even want to watch this game. Yeah. And there were only four late games and it was just perfect for the multi-view. And I always think it's weird when there's like three in the multi-view and it really wasn't a great.

• 30:11Speaker 04

  Yankees was a blowout. Yeah.

• 30:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it was just like, alright, so I'll keep it on. So you have that play, but then, then, uh, Ward, who wasn't good for three plus quarters and then got really good in the fourth quarter, but he had a bad pick. I don't think the guy caught it. Like they kind of glossed over that. Like he caught it, he rolled over and then he just threw the ball in the air. And it's usually like, I, I have no idea what it is, as we talk about every week. I don't know what's a catch, what's not. Right. I guess it was a catch, but then we ended up reenacting the Dave Casper Raiders play, which was one of the great plays of our childhood. It was like one of the first great gambling moments. I forget, they're playing like the Chargers maybe? And then it's the last play and he's about to get tackled and he just kind of fumbles it and they just start kicking it forward and then the Raiders land on it in the end zone

• 30:57Bill Simmons?

  because they cheated all the time at everything back then. And they had to change the rules after that play, that you couldn't do that. And yet somehow the Titans did it today.

• 31:07Speaker 04

  Right. And, uh, yeah, like I said, disgusting kicking it over and, you know. So it was, I'm just trying to figure out the spread, right? So the eight and a half, 21-6, D. McCarty should score, it should be 28-6.

• 31:20Bill Simmons?

  The game's over, they don't cover.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  Game set match. Definitely not losing the game at that point, right? I don't think they're.

• 31:25Bill Simmons?

  95% covering at that point. Yeah. Yeah, you would need the two touchdowns. Well, the other thing is they score. And they cut it, it was to nine with the extra point coming and instead of going for two, they went for one and missed the extra point.

• 31:40Speaker 04

  Right. Which made me think I actually had a chance.

• 31:41Bill Simmons?

  And so Arizona was still Arizona minus nine. So they did like a little dick tease for the Arizona bets. Like, no, no, we're still gonna fuck this up for you.

• 31:49Speaker 04

  I had a bunch of those dick teases with Cincinnati, too. I had them. I just gotta stop with, with bad teams and bad quarterbacks. Just the worst.

• 31:57Bill Simmons?

  I, I mean, as you know, I do, I just would never put Kyler Murray in a teaser parlay ever. It's one of my rules. Although another one of my rules is don't bet on the Europe game and I still continue to do that.

• 32:08Speaker 04

  Not early enough. Yeah.

• 32:09Bill Simmons?

  So did you see that clip where it's possible he got a mild concussion from the shotgun snap?

• 32:14Speaker 04

  Yeah. The ball had him, you can't really even make this up anymore.

• 32:18Bill Simmons?

  Like he got his belt, it almost was like Tim Anderson, Jose Ramirez, kinda like, kinda like did one of those. And they had to take him off. That was another thing that happened in this game, but that wasn't, we mentioned all these things, the highlight of the game.

• 32:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. The highlight?

• 32:34Bill Simmons?

  It was Spiro Ditas and Adam Archuleta are announcers.

• 32:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:40Bill Simmons?

  Tennessee has the ball. They're down two and they're driving and they have a, they're, they're clearly just settling for a field goal to win the game. And Spiro goes, Tennessee isn't thinking about the field goal. They're going for the win. It's like, well, field goal does get them win. So I think Adam Archuleta feels bad. So now they're setting up the field goal and they're like killing time. And Adam Archuleta has this monologue that includes the sentence, this could be a devastating loss for the Arizona Cardinals. Oh, really, doc? You think so? You think being up 21-6 and then dropping the ball on the goal line and then blowing, blowing a giant lead and then losing at home and now you're two and three? You think that was a devastating one?

• 33:22Speaker 04

  It was like the Colonel in Boogie Nights.

• 33:23Bill Simmons?

  He felt bad for Spiro. So he, he one-upped him there. Interesting.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. The producer was in his earpiece like, yo, you gotta say something dumb. Spiro just really, really blew it right there. You gotta, you gotta one-up him.

• 33:34Bill Simmons?

  Listen, I, we should just be thankful these analysts are staying out of prison. Um, if they can't make sense, whatever. Whew. That was, I don't even know what to say about that story.

• 33:45Speaker 04

  Yikes.

• 33:45Bill Simmons?

  Uh, anyway, Arizona.

• 33:48Bill Simmons?

  You liked, you picked them to win the division?

• 33:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I did. I did. And I was about to say they're gonna be the worst 3-2 team of all time, but now they're 2-3 and they're just the worst 2-3 team of all time.

• 34:01Bill Simmons?

  They are who we thought they were. I, I had an up and down over unders for the win totals. I have a division that I think I'm gonna get every single team wrong. AFC South. Yeah. I went 0-4 in the AFC South. I had Indy 7.5 under, Houston 9.5 over, Jacksonville 7.5, I think I went under on them, and then Tennessee 5.5 over. And I think it's gonna be a clean sweep. And there are some other divisions I nailed, but it was like, wow, I just did not figure out anything that was happening.

• 34:31Speaker 04

  As laughable as those teams are, if Jacksonville beats Kansas City tomorrow, that's, the AFC South might be the most, most competitive division, might I say, in this AFC?

• 34:43Bill Simmons?

  I texted you and Hinch today. I think they switched bodies with the AFC North.

• 34:47Speaker 04

  Right. Although now New England's back in it.

• 34:49Bill Simmons?

  No, the AFC North, not the East.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Right.

• 34:52Bill Simmons?

  The Baltimore, Cincy, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, that's the new AFC South. Those teams all suck.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  I'm with you.

• 34:58Bill Simmons?

  9-8's probably gonna win that. Pittsburgh fans are like, no, no, we don't suck. We're really good.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  No, you're not. They'll be good.

• 35:02Bill Simmons?

  You don't have a good team.

• 35:05Bill Simmons?

  All right, Eagles, Broncos, let's talk about that.

• 35:09Bill Simmons?

  17-3, Denver comes back.

• 35:13Bill Simmons?

  I know Romo's your guy. I'm just gonna be mildly critical, because we just...

• 35:17Speaker 04

  He's right over my shoulder. Be careful.

• 35:19Bill Simmons?

  Romo and Nance were asleep. It's 17-3. Denver, all the yardage and the first downs were pretty even. And Nix missed a couple throws. And they're like, the game's over for them. Even when it was 17-10, I don't, and then all of a sudden, Denver's driving again, and Romo's like, Jim, I don't know! All of a sudden, this is a game! And it's like, it's been a game the whole time. The Eagles have done jack shit on offense. The Denver defense has been amazing. This has always been a game, but then...

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Can I defend them for a second?

• 35:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, defend them. Go ahead.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  The Eagles put them to sleep. They're boring. We said they were boring offensively.

• 35:54Bill Simmons?

  Who did the sleeper hold? Adrian Adonis?

• 35:56Speaker 04

  Adonis did it.

• 35:56Bill Simmons?

  Who's the number one sleeper holder?

• 35:58Speaker 04

  Roddy Piper over my other shoulder did the sleeper hold.

• 36:00Bill Simmons?

  Who's our number one sleeper guy? Was it Adonis?

• 36:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, Roddy Piper and Adonis and, uh...

• 36:05Bill Simmons?

  Philly's the Adrian Adonis.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:09Speaker 04

  That's it.

• 36:09Bill Simmons?

  He's dead. They can't invite him to a game.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  That's true. That's true. He would be good on the offensive line and that.

• 36:13Bill Simmons?

  Not a well like locker room guy Adrian Adonis.

• 36:17Speaker 04

  No. Yeah. Yeah.

• 36:18Bill Simmons?

  No, a lot of bad stories about him.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  Lots of leather jackets, bad, Hell's Kitchen fights in the locker room.

• 36:24Bill Simmons?

  Fights in the locker room, like a legendary locker room fight. I can't remember with who he got his ass kicked.

• 36:29Speaker 04

  Wasn't boring. Wasn't boring.

• 36:30Bill Simmons?

  Wasn't boring. Eagles are boring.

• 36:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, very boring. And they got screwed a little bit. I don't care because of the Eagles, but that was a bad, unnecessary roughness call at the end. You know, the guy, he's going for another yard. He's clearly going for, you know, lunging. And so I don't know, I wouldn't have called that, but they should be able to hold the lead against Bo Nix. Made some good throws, but that's, that was it. But like I said, that's the Denver team we've been waiting to see all year.

• 36:55Bill Simmons?

  Well, so they got the running game going, which started on Monday night. You could see it against Cincinnati. Harvey, right as they, they were just trying to put a drive together. Harvey had a really nice run around the right side where they had him and he just had the speed and got around and it felt like it got them a little juice. And then I thought Nix finally looked like the guy from last year in the last hour of the game. Like he made some big ass plays and some good runs. Their sideline was locked in and I loved when they went for two.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:23Bill Simmons?

  I, I, that's like the perfect example of he's been talking since the summer preseason, whole thing. I like this team. I think we're really good. Even when they lost those two games, we're good. We lost to good teams. We're a good team. And then he proved it. He, he, he went for it on two, ran a great play and then went 18-17.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  I don't remember seeing that with like seven, was it, wasn't it like seven minutes left when he went for two? Or was it four? No, it was like half the quarter left, right?

• 37:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, halfway through the quarter.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. That was ballsy. Yeah. Like that coach, man. He's good. And you know, now we're going to talk Denver all of a sudden plus 290 to win the AFC West. We flip flop on this a lot, but.

• 38:02Bill Simmons?

  Well, how about this? They're three and two. They're two plays away from being five and O. Their next five, they're playing the Jets in London next week. They're playing the Giants in week seven. They're playing your Cowboys in Denver in week eight. At Houston, week nine, and then Raiders on Thursday night, week 10. That's at least four and one.

• 38:21Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 38:22Bill Simmons?

  Unless they really screw the pooch on one of those.

• 38:24Speaker 04

  Wait a minute.

• 38:25Bill Simmons?

  And Pete Carroll might have just retired by then.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  So you think this, he should, he should hope that's it.

• 38:30Bill Simmons?

  It might just be like that. Him and Belichick should just go into the assistant living together.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  So nine and a half wins, cause Vandal's great with these updated win totals is minus 125. They're gonna get to 10 if they, if they play anything there today, they'll get to 10.

• 38:47Bill Simmons?

  Jets, Giants, that has to be two wins in a row. You just have to win both of those. Your team, you know, I think your team can, can move the ball, it seems like on anybody.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 38:58Bill Simmons?

  Doesn't really matter who the team is. You don't agree?

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, we can. I just, that defense is gonna show up or not show up week to week. So, bobs me.

• 39:07Bill Simmons?

  At Houston, week nine, there was a CJ Stroud resurgence today that I would just tell everyone, be careful. It's going against that ravaged Baltimore team.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  He was telling us, be careful. He, what did he say earlier in the week? He's like, I feel like an old man. I feel old.

• 39:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, came to move the way I used to. He was 23.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  Used to.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  Four months ago.

• 39:28Bill Simmons?

  One thing on the Eagles, I, have you noticed that they've kind of assumed the identity of the Chiefs last year? I was wondering if it was like that movie, It Follows in New Orleans in February after they beat the Chiefs, they just took their being.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 39:42Bill Simmons?

  Where it's like, they're just in these games, but it doesn't feel right, but their record's good and their stats are okay. And they're always one play away from being fine. And yet, it just doesn't seem like everything's right. And I don't even know what it is, other than the malaise of watching the Eagles.

• 40:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're taking the worst.

• 40:03Bill Simmons?

  I know their corners are weird, like.

• 40:05Speaker 04

  All the good teams, cause the Ravens used to be the team that could score, but not hold a lead, right? How many double-digit leads did they blow in the fourth quarter? It's always a Harbaugh number against them. I feel like that's what we're seeing out of the Eagles. Up big against Tampa and then gigantic plays and Tampa's right back in it, right? This week, same kind of thing. So, yeah, unlike the Chiefs who struggled to get to 17 points by the fourth quarter, for the most part. Yeah, this, I don't, I don't know what's up with them. I really don't.

• 40:33Bill Simmons?

  Paying a lot of money for those receivers that they seem to just take out for a Sunday drive and that's it. And then Barkley just hasn't done anything yet and. You know, the Pats in oh four, when they got the Corey Dillon, the last Super Bowl they won in the 2000s, they got this awesome Corey Dillon year.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 40:50Bill Simmons?

  And he was like rejuvenated and it was great. And then they brought him back for the year after and it was, it was kinda a year too late for him. I don't think that's the case for Barkley because he's pretty young, but he does not look like the Barkley from last year. So I would love to know. I know the offensive line's not the same.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  That's it, I think.

• 41:05Bill Simmons?

  Um, but even, it doesn't even feel like they're using him in the same ways, like on those little flare passes and wheel routes. I don't know, they just haven't unlocked him. So when I watch it, when I watch them, he just doesn't jump out of the TV anymore and I don't really understand why.

• 41:20Speaker 04

  No, and he, um, you pay a lot for that TV. That's like a $30,000 TV. If you want him to jump out of the screen, he should be able to do it. No, yeah, he caught that touchdown. That was a nice bubble pass. Wasn't that much?

• 41:32Bill Simmons?

  No. That's what you're thinking of our cousin.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  That's right. Craziness. Uh, yeah, he caught that touchdown pass, but you know, you don't really expect, you don't see the 25 yard.

• 41:43Bill Simmons?

  The touchdown pass is a good example. Like he would, that shit was happening all the time. He would have games last year where he'd just single him and they won the game.

• 41:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure.

• 41:50Bill Simmons?

  And, uh, not really happened in this year. Uh, the other one that was really fascinating was Buck Seahawks.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:56Bill Simmons?

  And we were texting afterwards and I was already on it about Baker MVP. What, what is it now? Did it go down? It was 13 to one after the game.

• 42:07Bill Simmons?

  And I'll, I'll set this segment up properly after.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  He's still 13 to one.

• 42:11Bill Simmons?

  Okay. So in the fourth quarter of that, of that Buck Seahawks game, I went on Fanduel and I looked at the odds for him for MVP and it was still 15 to one. And I was thinking, nobody has played better than him this year, period.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  No doubt.

• 42:25Bill Simmons?

  And it was weird because of course on NBC after they're talking about Dak and somebody else are like, no quarterbacks have played better than these dudes. And it's like, you mean other than Baker Mayfield, who has four last minute drives already and who's been absolutely fucking incredible and lost Bucky Irvin and lost Mike Evans and didn't have Werffs and Godwin for the first couple of games of the year and just every game keeps them in and has this competitive spirit. Like he's clearly the MVP through five games. I don't know if it's going to last. But how is he not the like, it's not even an argument.

• 42:58Speaker 04

  Let me just say, wow, we're doing this live. This line is going to be plus 850 tomorrow, based on this conversation. That's how much I believe. I'm not kidding. What, why is he fourth? First of all, Mahomes is ahead of him at six.

• 43:10Bill Simmons?

  He's got Josh Allen, Mahomes and Love ahead of him. It's outrageous. He's playing so much better than those guys. And Allen's been good, but not as good as Mayfield.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  And he's so exciting. He's such a highlight reel. I mean, I know Allen is too. He runs all over the place. But what was Baker today? First quarterback ever to have 375 plus passing yards and fewer than five incompletions in a regular season game. He's just really like, this is, this is nonsensical. I guess our thing is that you have to be a top two seed. Why wouldn't they be a top two seed at this point? I think that I like their chance of betting the Packers at this point.

• 43:45Bill Simmons?

  Well, the fact that they're four and one already. Yeah, could they get to like 12 and five? Yeah, that 13 to one is just, I mean, Stafford's 14 to one. Who's having a better year? Baker or Stafford? I'll tell you this, I had Seattle minus three. It was a roller coaster ride. And at some point, they took a seven point lead down the stretch. And they just had to get a stop, which they hadn't done for two hours because they had no defensive backs left. And it was, you know, it was our guy, Mac McDonald finally grew a pair and went for it on a fourth and two and got it for a touchdown, which he should have done. Two of their games this year, he finally gets it at least.

• 44:22Bill Simmons?

  But Baker got the ball and I was just like, he's going to go down and score. Like, how many quarterbacks in the league right now would just be like, the fucking guy's going to go down and score. Like, I know what's going to happen. And he just took them down. He basically one receiver, a tight end. Rashad White, who's a backup running back who looked good today. But he just patched it together and just made plays.

• 44:42Speaker 04

  Can I say something? It's not just because I bet them to make the Super Bowl. I think we should put Tampa Bay in the Super Bowl because they're the most entertaining team right now. For the Super Bowl, we get the most entertaining halftime show, right? We don't necessarily get the best. Otherwise, we'd have Paul McCartney every year. Same thing with the anthem. Let's just put them, we could play out the games as long as we come to an understanding that the Bucks are going to be in the Super Bowl. I mean, they, he's great. He shouldn't be fourth in MVP. He should be at worst.

• 45:10Bill Simmons?

  He'll be eight to one tomorrow. Just say it's, it's an insulting line. I'm with you. If we're handing out awards after five weeks, he clearly gets the most fun player of the 2025 season so far at work. I don't think there's any question. And this connection he already has with Egbooka, who everybody loved before the season. We talked about him a bunch and he's even better than I thought he was gonna be. I mean, he was, absolutely unbelievable. He was open over and over again, just torching these, these Seahawks second stringers. That's, that was a tough one. And then on the flip side, Darnold was great. And at the same time, as Gino is self-combusting yet again,

• 45:53Bill Simmons?

  he was, and then it ends up, he throws a pass that skids off someone's helmet and is the game ending interception, basically.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  And for less money than Gino. Yeah, they were 49 for 56 combined. They had scored touchdowns on seven straight drives. Halfway through the fourth quarter, I think like both teams averaged 12 yards a play or 12 and 10 or something like that. I love, I don't, I don't love every game to be like that, but definitely a Baker Mayfield game is fun to watch like that.

• 46:18Bill Simmons?

  Certainly not a game I was expecting from the Seahawks.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  No.

• 46:22Bill Simmons?

  I thought, I was a big believer in their defense, but they just passed the point of, of injuries. All right.

• 46:29Speaker 04

  You spill your water?

• 46:30Bill Simmons?

  I was looking to see where we were on time because we're gonna, well, I'll do a couple of games really quick. Washington over the Chargers. Chargers are up 10-0 and then they die.

• 46:41Bill Simmons?

  Their offensive line is gone. And it seems like they might've been the rabid team. I just feel like Denver and the Chargers have switched.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  They have.

• 46:49Bill Simmons?

  Switched spots like in the hierarchy and, and to no fault of the Chargers because of the injuries, right?

• 46:54Speaker 04

  Should've known. As soon as this game, when they wouldn't make this game three, it was two and a half. Two weeks ago, we were all saying, oh, Chargers are the toast of the AFC West. They're gonna run away with it and everything. Yeah, Ted, Washington's banged up, even with Jaden Daniels coming back. It was totally a rat line. But he was like 12 for 14 in the first half. Like, yeah, I guess they were up 10-0. Then they just, nothing, nothing at all out of them. Eventually the line gave up.

• 47:19Bill Simmons?

  Lions kill the Bengals.

• 47:21Speaker 04

  Ugh.

• 47:22Bill Simmons?

  I think we can officially say maybe losing Aaron Glenn and Ben Johnson wasn't an unequivocal disaster.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  They're gonna be alright.

• 47:30Bill Simmons?

  The coaching staff.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:31Bill Simmons?

  They seem okay. Cincinnati's two and three still. The last three weeks, they've been down in games 28 to three, 28 to three, and 48 to three. In the last three weeks, they've been on 25, 25, and 45.

• 47:46Speaker 04

  Why did I bet, why were they my best bet today? I don't know. No idea. And then that cock tease at the end.

• 47:52Bill Simmons?

  There was a lot of, there were a lot of gambling trends supporting Cincinnati plus 10 and a half. Like that big of a home dog.

• 47:59Speaker 04

  Right.

• 47:59Bill Simmons?

  Them coming off a huge loss, Detroit has a road.

• 48:02Speaker 04

  What do they care? Outdoor game, you know, even the worst teams don't get blown out by the spread three weeks in a row. Browning. Are we gonna rank these things? What are we doing?

• 48:12Bill Simmons?

  We're, we're gonna do it after the break. Is Joe Burrow a possible MVP candidate for you still? We do this sometimes. If a guy leaves a team and they immediately fall down by 100 points combined in the next three games, should he get some votes?

• 48:26Speaker 04

  I was gonna flip it. Yeah, the answer is yes. He should be ahead of Jordan Love, I think, at least.

• 48:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  What is his injury? Like, would they be much worse off with him in there right now than Jake Browning?

• 48:37Bill Simmons?

  Joe Burrow, like in a foot cast?

• 48:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, just put him in.

• 48:40Bill Simmons?

  Like with a walker?

• 48:41Speaker 04

  Sure, yeah. He wouldn't throw four interceptions.

• 48:45Bill Simmons?

  He'd be the first guy to start an NFL game, but then also be allowed to board an airplane early.

• 48:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 48:50Bill Simmons?

  When they bring in like the old people and the people on crutches.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  I like it. Bring him in.

• 48:55Bill Simmons?

  Saints over Giants, the kind of game that you regret winning in January. When you look back and you're like, why do we have the fourth pick? Oh, we won that fucking Giants game. And Scat, Scat about fumbled.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Scat about was blaming his gloves like my 12 year old does in Little League baseball. Like, it's the gloves. I need new gloves. That's why I've struck out three times in a row.

• 49:19Bill Simmons?

  This was the classic, there wasn't enough to gamble on today. And I never, ever put two bad teams in a, in a parlay. And a Sunday morning classic, like, I really think the Saints are gonna win. I really think the Jets are gonna win. I'll put those two with the Colts. And it's like four to one odds on a parlay. Like, I'm just gonna jump all over that. And then, and then you're like, what did I do? You're just watching Justin Fields rolling to his right and whipping it out of bounds. You're like, what did I do? Why, why, I know the rules at this point, don't do this.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  But, and then, yeah, I mean, five, five turnovers for the Giants. They should still be able to beat the Saints, but that was a, that was a clinic they put on today.

• 50:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Panthers over Dolphins.

• 50:08Bill Simmons?

  A big one for all my Dolphins futures. I really needed them to lose this one for the 19 different Dolphin win under bets. But Carolina has somehow won two of their last three and then gotten blown out in the other game. Bryce Young.

• 50:23Bill Simmons?

  I, it just, he can't get going until he's down 17, it seems like.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 50:28Bill Simmons?

  It's like the boxer that needs to taste their own blood. He just needs, he just needs to see Andy Dalton like potentially warming up. And then he kinda activates. They ended up, but they had 418 total yards and 26 first downs.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  That was a fun game. I don't know if you had the audio on. That, they have this, Collins is the play by play guy and he made it like it was the last Super Bowl ever.

• 50:49Bill Simmons?

  The basketball guy.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's our friend Alec is like, yeah, that's the Hornets guy. That's our guy. I was like, that's great. And it was him and Schlereth, I think. And, uh, yeah, that was a very exciting game. Uh, even though like you kinda knew the Dolphins were gonna blow it. They are really something else.

• 51:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, something about two in the last two minutes of these games.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:06Bill Simmons?

  I don't see them getting a six wins for any reason. And then the last one. The Texans killing the Ravens that we talked about CJ sucking us in, but the Ravens down one and four, and it seems like they rest Lamar last, next week, then they have a bye. So they might be one and five heading into the bye and then maybe try to make a run. But I was looking at the year from hell teams, the last three years, because I couldn't remember who was who. The 2024 Niners, they had gone 12 and 5, they were 6 and 11 last year. So they were the year from hell team, a bunch of injuries. 2023 Vikings, that was the Cousins Achilles, they were 13 and 4, dropped to 7 and 10 that year. And then the Rams, the year after the Super Bowl in 22, they went from 12 and 5 to 5 and 12, where

• 51:51Bill Simmons?

  they had all their injuries.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  The Bengals aren't on there?

• 51:53Bill Simmons?

  They, they never came. Part of the year from hell is, yeah, you had to have been really good the year before.

• 52:00Speaker 04

  They were okay after their Super Bowl year? I guess it was two years after that then, maybe.

• 52:04Bill Simmons?

  No, they were okay. Yeah. So, so those were the last ones. So this officially feels like we're on a streak.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Well, it's awful with Baltimore and like, you know, not even in a joking way, they lost a former player this week. It just seems like it's all like fricking falling apart from them.

• 52:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  And you know, Derrick Henry.

• 52:21Bill Simmons?

  Injuries all over defense.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Now bringing it back to nonsense, like you got Derrick Henry and Jamar Chase and all these studs with these weirdo quarterbacks. I don't know. It's tough.

• 52:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Hey, I was lucky enough to get a son and a daughter through their early teens and their mid teens in the social media era. And even though we were constantly monitoring it, there's still a whole bunch of stuff that can go wrong. And that's why Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built in content settings for the content teens can see. Contact limits for who can contact them and time management tools like daily time limits. And sleep mode, teens are automatically placed in the teen accounts. Teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built in safety features to help create age appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work

• 53:17Bill Simmons?

  to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 53:22Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Excitement is in the air. That's right. It's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras and watch Tip Off. Plus, as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026, ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details.

• 54:03Bill Simmons?

  Vikings Browns, a 6:30 stink fest for us in the Pacific here. You're, you, you came back. When did you come back yesterday?

• 54:11Speaker 04

  I was back Saturday.

• 54:12Bill Simmons?

  From Brooklyn? All right. I'm excited to talk about that.

• 54:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:15Bill Simmons?

  And we have Carson Wentz versus Dylan Gabriel. And I honestly didn't think Dylan Gabriel was that bad. He's at least accurate. He's tiny, like passes will get deflected. I won't be telling my grandkids about him, but he's like fairly competent. And it made me think with all the bad QBs we saw today, we had to have a bad QB fantasy draft, which we did last year.

• 54:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:36Bill Simmons?

  When there's a week like this where there's so many of them, we just have to, for posterity, rank them. So I'll give you the first pick. Worst quarterback you saw today?

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Yeah. And I don't want to insult anyone, right, on this list because, you know, if you don't win this week, there's always, there are about a dozen.

• 54:50Bill Simmons?

  Prove us wrong.

• 54:51Speaker 04

  Yeah. Mariota Fields, it could be your week, next week when we do this, you know?

• 54:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 54:55Speaker 04

  But, um, uh, all right, I'm going to go for it here. And I know he came back and maybe covered on a teaser or something for Cincinnati, but I think it's the guy who you and I jinxed just four weeks ago by naming him the best backup in the league.

• 55:08Bill Simmons?

  Yes, he did.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  Taking Jake Browning. He had eight interceptions in four games and didn't even have one in the 28-3 game that he lost. But here's a stat you can't beat, and I think we threw this around on a text chain. At one point, Jamar Chase led the Bengals with three tackles. And that means your quarterback is the worst in the league. So congratulations.

• 55:30Bill Simmons?

  Unbelievable stat.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 55:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there's two other things, cause, and it really jumps out on the multi-view and the ability to watch all these games. The reaction of somebody after an interception. It's like that final, when somebody's just in a slump as a QB and it's just. Just like, I don't know, my girlfriend just broke up with me, kind of body language, or just like, you just feel like their vertebrae are sinking into their body. He had that once, and then the receivers.

• 56:00Speaker 04

  Right.

• 56:01Bill Simmons?

  Chase was like, I'm fucking done with this. He had that body language going by the, there was nobody more unhappy to get yards than he was in the second half. He was like, get me the fuck out of here.

• 56:12Speaker 04

  I think, you know, I'll add to that, that look that Chase gives, that means all week it sucks. That means, yeah, I knew it in practice. If you're a little like stunned of like, oh, man, we were completing this, you know what I mean? But he gave that look like, yeah, this is an everyday occurrence.

• 56:28Bill Simmons?

  It's gotta be brutal to be in that situation as the QB when, you know, he was good as the backup. He's clearly lost a little something, but now you have this pressure, you have Chase and Higgins, you don't have an offensive line, you're not playing well, there's no backup, there's nobody threatening you, and you just like can't get it going. It's a very good choice. I had to take Geno Smith.

• 56:51Bill Simmons?

  I, it just seems like it's over. He has nine interceptions already in five games, and there's like a storied list of people who have done this, and it's all some of the worst quarterbacks you can remember from the last 30 years. The Raiders, of course, about a couple of them. I can't believe how bad he's been. And he's been bad beyond the interceptions. Like, we talked about that week two Monday night game against the Chargers, when he was just sailing the ball all over the place. Like, we were joking about his eyesight last week.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:23Bill Simmons?

  They gave him $75 million for two years. They gave up a third round pick for him, and he's worse than the guys they had last year. But they had, I was looking at who they had last year, it was like, or maybe two years ago. Oh, here it is. It was O'Connell, Minshew, and Ritter. 19 touchdowns, 16 interceptions. Geno's 6 TDs, 9 interceptions right now. He's, not to mention all the other stuff.

• 57:49Speaker 04

  And he won his first game. Yeah, this is, this is all last.

• 57:52Bill Simmons?

  And he looked pretty good against the Pats. Like, he was making big passes. In '23, they had O'Connell, Jimmy G, and Hoyer. They were 16 and 19 that year, 16 TDs, 19 picks. But those are the last three years of Raider QBs. If you go through the Raiders on Pro Football Reference, Carr comes in, they draft him, and they get like nine years out of Carr that are like. Fine, right? He made the playoffs that one year. It's pretty up and down, a couple of bad years, but for the most part, it was like, okay, right? It was like a, like a

• 58:22Speaker 04

  It was one year, week 14, he was like tops at MVP odds, I remember. And then he got hurt or something. But yeah, yeah, I know.

• 58:28Bill Simmons?

  It was okay. But then you go before that, like they had Carson Palmer for two years, they had Marcus Russell, they had that guy, Andrew Walter. You just go through, it's like, oh, I forgot about that guy. Whoa, I forgot about that guy. They have a million of those.

• 58:46Bill Simmons?

  And Gino is supposed to solve it and he's not.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  A million and one. Yeah, he threw some balls today that not only should a 13 year vet not know to throw, anyone who's ever watched football, anyone who's ever watched a friend play Madden, shouldn't make some of those throws. So, and I can't believe he was in at the end. Like even the Colts took out, even the Colts put Richardson in. That was amazing.

• 59:08Bill Simmons?

  I loved when Richardson came in and they cut to, he almost had a fumble and he, or he had a pass deflected, he caught it. And then it cut to Danny Dimes on the headset, just like laughing.

• 59:18Speaker 04

  You may not be done, Dimes.

• 59:20Bill Simmons?

  They thought we were competing.

• 59:21Speaker 04

  You may have to come back in.

• 59:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I wrote down, so the Raiders are one and four, I wrote down, turns out mid 70s, Pete Carroll, a washed up Chip Kelly, a multitasking Tom Brady, and apparently washed up Geno Smith, and the son of Al Davis, were not the dream team. In retrospect, of course, I picked them to be the seventh seed in the playoffs. So I have some regrets. It was them, Jacksonville or Indiana, or Indianapolis, and it looks like the other two.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  You know, all the talk about Brady shouldn't be allowed in the booth. He can't be interviewing these players. He can't do this. He's gonna get inside every, yeah, it doesn't matter. Geno Smith your quarterback. Doesn't make a goddamn

• 59:59Bill Simmons?

  I think Brady solved the debate. They're fucking terrible. Like, what kind of inside information is he getting?

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  He should say something tomorrow. He should be like, I hope this puts an end to all the talk about my cheating and my infiltration of the, these interviews.

• 1:00:12Bill Simmons?

  If I wasn't getting all this inside information, we wouldn't be one and four.

• 1:00:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 1:00:18Bill Simmons?

  So Gino has the most interceptions in his first five games since Zach Wilson in 2021.

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:00:27Bill Simmons?

  That is rarefied air.

• 1:00:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. Not good, not good at all.

• 1:00:32Bill Simmons?

  Okay, so I took, I'm taking Gino second, you're up next.

• 1:00:35Speaker 04

  Oh, I, we're not doing the two, you don't get two? Okay.

• 1:00:38Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you want me to do two? No, you can go, let's go back and forth, you go.

• 1:00:41Speaker 04

  All right, uh, I'm gonna say my guy, it's, it does have to be someone played today? Cause I, I'm gonna say Joe.

• 1:00:48Bill Simmons?

  No, it has to be.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  It does have to be someone today?

• 1:00:51Bill Simmons?

  Somebody that played, yeah, Joe Milton didn't play.

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, but he did knock over a fan in his yard with a pass.

• 1:00:55Bill Simmons?

  I did see that, he doesn't count though.

• 1:00:57Speaker 04

  I think Cooper Rush, I don't think it gets much worse, honestly, he was a good backup for the Cowboys and he can win games, but no more. No, not even confident in his check downs anymore. Like you talked about Dylan Gabriel, like at least he gets the ball out fast for his check downs, you know, we're gonna see that for a rookie.

• 1:01:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  Cooper Rush, it's over, sorry, you have decent receivers, you have Derrick Henry, you should move the ball better than you did.

• 1:01:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, the thing with Gabriel, you know, you know, he kind of wasn't like, I'll be telling my grandkids about him, but at least he was throwing like nine yard passes to players in spots where they could catch the ball, which sadly is passing for competence in 2025.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  He practices.

• 1:01:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Bill Simmons?

  It's like, ah, that was a nice, it's the tight end really enjoyed being able to catch the ball right in front of his helmet like that. Uh, I'm taking Justin Fields, I just, the 0-26 I think is one of the craziest record. I just can't believe that if you're rooting for Justin Fields and you have this invisible thing for the other team where it's like, man, if they get to 21, the game's now over. I've never seen anything like that, but the thing is, he's always, he'll always have two, three plays that kinda make you not wanna give up on him yet. And he'll be like 38 and be like, ah, see that scramble? I don't know.

• 1:02:17Speaker 04

  Right. Yeah, the 40 yard run goes a long way and not, in keeping him out of the, the basement for this draft, right? Yeah.

• 1:02:26Bill Simmons?

  Who did have fifth?

• 1:02:27Speaker 04

  Uh, all right, I'm gonna, um. You know what? I'm gonna say Cam Ward right now.

• 1:02:32Bill Simmons?

  I had him next.

• 1:02:33Speaker 04

  He did. Yeah. So entering this week, the Titans had three touchdowns after a month of football, offensive touchdowns. And really, the only reason they won today is because of fumble was kicked around and some idiot dropped the ball at the goal line. So maybe he'll get, get it together. But right now, he's got to be high on this list. The good news is Cam Ward versus Geno Smith. We got to bet on that game next week. That's a Sunday coming up.

• 1:02:56Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 1:02:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:58Bill Simmons?

  He had a good last like 40 minutes of the game.

• 1:03:00Speaker 04

  Fine.

• 1:03:00Bill Simmons?

  Like he, he actually started making some plays, but he was the first two plus hours was bad. I'm taking Brissette with my next pick just because he played. He came in and immediately threw a pass that the, that the tight end blew his knee out trying to catch. And not to laugh at that, but it was, it was just like classic.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Shouldn't be helping the team doctor that for sure.

• 1:03:20Bill Simmons?

  They didn't score for the moments he was in there, but it was just, I got flashbacks to when he was the Patriots quarterback like last year. Who do you have next? There, I have four, five guys left on the board. It's getting interesting here.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  Wow. All right. I have Arch Manning because I don't think, that's a wrong podcast. That's, I'll save that for Tate on Tuesday. Um, is it just, do I have to take, do I have to take Jackson Dart over Spencer Rattler at this point? Because he won? Cause I don't know.

• 1:03:48Bill Simmons?

  I didn't have Jackson Dart in this spot. Interesting.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  All right. I'm gonna go Rattler, even though he won and he can't get to the, the Sean Kaiser Torse Trophy. That's all right. He's one in 10 now, but he still has to be on this list.

• 1:04:01Bill Simmons?

  He's Kaiser's off the hook. He gets to keep his record. I don't think Rattler's awful.

• 1:04:07Speaker 04

  Okay. Well, we're getting to the.

• 1:04:09Bill Simmons?

  He's awful? Like he actually can make some plays?

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think they're done.

• 1:04:14Bill Simmons?

  I don't trust him.

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  That's it. That's it for them.

• 1:04:18Bill Simmons?

  I have Bryce Young next, only because he's fallen behind over and over again. By state, there's been four times this season where there was a 10 minute stretch of people online or Panther fans being like, that's probably it for Bryce Young. He's never going to start another NFL game. And then he, he just does the Undertaker and does the, all of a sudden he's up again and he's rejuvenated. But, uh, the Dolphins are really bad.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:45Bill Simmons?

  And, uh,

• 1:04:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't really see it with Bryce, unfortunately.

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  All right. You probably don't have this guy on the list, but I'm gonna say Carson Wentz.

• 1:04:56Bill Simmons?

  I had him on my list.

• 1:04:57Speaker 04

  Early in the morning and I wanted to be entertained more, but I think a good way to do this list is, how about this? If you find out they're injured, are you okay with the backup coming in? And when Carson Wentz went out around halftime, I'm like, oh, what does this Brosmer guy look like? The backup for the Vikings, the University of Minnesota quarterback that no one cared about in the draft. But so if your guy gets injured, you say, let's see what you got. Let's see what's next. I think that's it. And Carson Wentz, you know, I don't want to cut him too much slack. He's got Justin Jefferson. He's got Addison. He's got great receivers and should move the ball better against the Browns. I know they won, but come on.

• 1:05:35Bill Simmons?

  I don't know who the announcers were today because I was barely awake, but at one point, I forget who, somebody who was involved with the Eagles or something. Who is, oh, Jim Schwartz.

• 1:05:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:48Bill Simmons?

  And he was like, Jim, we were talking to Jim Schwartz this week and Jim Schwartz said, they would have won the Super Bowl with Wentz. That year he got hurt. Like, that's how good he was. They would have won the Super Bowl with him. Do people actually believe this?

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  I don't know. Cause I mean, that was your dumb team.

• 1:06:04Bill Simmons?

  Nick Foles left his body.

• 1:06:06Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:06:07Bill Simmons?

  For three weeks. I don't know if Wentz would have done that. I don't know what, we'll never understand what happened with Nick Foles, but he did. I would have liked my chances more.

• 1:06:15Speaker 04

  Jim Schwartz, a defensive guy?

• 1:06:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:18Bill Simmons?

  I think he was just being nice. Can I take Brosmer here?

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you want.

• 1:06:22Bill Simmons?

  Did he have a, was, is there a first name for him?

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  Uh, I don't think he, they're, they're not gonna release it until like week nine.

• 1:06:30Bill Simmons?

  He's just Brosmer? He's like Kramer?

• 1:06:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's Brosmer.

• 1:06:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'm taking him next. All right. Two, two picks left.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  All right. I'm gonna say Anthony Richardson. Just the side of him kind of got me sick. I know he didn't do much or anything or hurt his team and he played for a winner, but I have to put him on that list.

• 1:06:49Bill Simmons?

  I actually had a thought. The, the most fun outcome is the Raiders trading for him, right?

• 1:06:54Speaker 04

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:06:56Bill Simmons?

  The perfect storm of everything, right? The Raider, Gino, they come up with some fake injury for Gino, maybe he is hurt. Like he's, oh, he had a rotator cuff, we didn't realize.

• 1:07:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:05Bill Simmons?

  But we've acquired Anthony Richardson for a fifth-rounder. Brady's gonna mentor him.

• 1:07:10Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:07:11Bill Simmons?

  Brady's gonna get information from his coach meetings when he has coffees with coaches and they give him the entire game plan for the week. So he can say nothing when he does the telecast.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  I like that. And get him on the cheap AR-15 going to the Raiders. Yeah, it all makes sense.

• 1:07:26Bill Simmons?

  Fun slinger. Al Davis would have loved this guy. He's like Daryl LaMonica.

• 1:07:31Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:07:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:35Bill Simmons?

  So Tua and Gabriel are still on the board.

• 1:07:40Bill Simmons?

  And Gabriel's not better than Tua. I, as much as I would love to do it for the content, um, I'd have to, I have to take Gabriel here and leave Tua to you. Well. This is the last pick.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  All right, let's, maybe we just, we, we button this up with, uh.

• 1:07:56Bill Simmons?

  Tua has to be drafted.

• 1:07:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, because I have Kyler here, too. Honestly, are you, you sure Kyler's better than Tua at this point? I mean, how many games like this are we gonna see? He has to do better than 220 and, what do you have, like 25 yards rushing versus the worst team?

• 1:08:13Bill Simmons?

  So you're taking Kyler, I'll take Tua.

• 1:08:15Speaker 04

  Okay. There you go.

• 1:08:16Bill Simmons?

  Um, I'd say, listen, that's a great case. I will say this, if they had announced during the game, if they had stopped the ball after he almost got concussed by the shotgun snap that he didn't see, and they stopped and they're like, congratulations to Kyler Murray, who had the shotgun snap inexplicably hit his head when he wasn't looking for the 37th time, it's an NFL career high. Like, I actually would have believed that.

• 1:08:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:42Bill Simmons?

  That happens to him eight times a year. Any quarterback ever been more surprised by shotgun snaps?

• 1:08:49Speaker 04

  I like it. Another guy doesn't practice. Nobody knows the ball's coming down. Yeah, that was a Looney Tunes episode. That really was. Drop ball at goal lines, snaps to the face mask. Stupid team.

• 1:09:03Bill Simmons?

  Do Arizona and Carolina play this year? I'm gonna look this up. Because that's like our perfect match.

• 1:09:11Bill Simmons?

  Oh, they already played.

• 1:09:13Speaker 04

  They played.

• 1:09:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that was the game. I'm making my own point already because it already happened. Because I was gonna say the perfect game would be Kyler Murray versus Bryce Young. Because they would take an early lead and then Bryce Young would make a late comeback. And that's actually what happened in Week 2.

• 1:09:25Speaker 04

  That's when Arizona's wins, right?

• 1:09:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah. All right, so your team was your bad QB fantasy draft. You had Browning, Rush, Ward, Rattler, Wentz, Richardson, and Kyler.

• 1:09:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:38Bill Simmons?

  And I had Gino, Fields, Brissette, Bryce, Brosmer. Bob Brosmer?

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  Bobby Brosmer, yeah.

• 1:09:46Bill Simmons?

  Bobby Brosmer. Brian Brosmer?

• 1:09:53Bill Simmons?

  Gabriel and Tua. It's like a couple of lefties. I don't know whose team's better.

• 1:09:58Speaker 04

  Jackson Dart goes unscathed. Good for you.

• 1:10:02Bill Simmons?

  He should go and save. He's not bad. I think he's better than everyone we just mentioned. Would you rather have Jackson Dart than any of those guys?

• 1:10:08Speaker 04

  It's fine. It's just some of these teams are gonna end up with 2 and 3 wins. And I couldn't even tell you which is which.

• 1:10:14Bill Simmons?

  There's some really bad ones. So right now, we have 7 1-win teams and a winless team. So we have 8 teams that are 1 and 4, or 0 and 5. All right. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun? Sometimes earlier than expected? Sometimes after blowing a 3-1 series lead. But what if you went to Cancun? With Expedia, save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness, though, hopefully, your team doesn't go to Cancun. 1-2-3 Cancun. Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save. Savings vary. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank.

• 1:10:58Bill Simmons?

  In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes. Yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves and the financial wins just keep coming. PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865 as a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association, Member, FTIC. Let's go to guest lines. Week six, Eagles Giants. We get to watch Jackson Jarrett. By the way, you won the first two weeks.

• 1:11:43Bill Simmons?

  I won the last three.

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:45Bill Simmons?

  People think I'm cheating again. I'm back, baby.

• 1:11:48Speaker 04

  Well, let me just say something because you're going to think I'm cheating, but I got the Thursday night game exactly, and I got the Sunday game, the first two we go over, the Europe game. So that's, this is not how I would cheat. I would cover it up a little better, but go ahead.

• 1:12:01Bill Simmons?

  Okay. Eagles at the Giants. I have the Eagles by seven and a half.

• 1:12:07Speaker 04

  That's it. All right, we tie. It is seven and a half.

• 1:12:09Bill Simmons?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:12:11Speaker 04

  See how you blocked me there?

• 1:12:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I, I looked at six and a half, seven and seven and a half, and I tried all three. And six and a half felt too late. Seven, I just felt like a seven and a half. But I also wouldn't have been surprised if you had told me it was nine and a half because the Thursday night with what we saw from the Giants.

• 1:12:31Speaker 04

  Well, you know, we have to be scared a little when we put them on a teaser because they're not going to lose two games in a row.

• 1:12:36Bill Simmons?

  Right. So this is a seven point tease, I think.

• 1:12:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, with you.

• 1:12:39Bill Simmons?

  So I think the move is you grab the Chiefs tomorrow. Seven point tease with them, with the Eagles and then a third team.

• 1:12:46Speaker 04

  Oh, really? All right, well, go, let's go through these because you might just see them clearly here.

• 1:12:51Bill Simmons?

  London game, I had no idea what to do with this. Broncos, Jets.

• 1:13:00Bill Simmons?

  By the way, poor London. Why do we do this to them?

• 1:13:05Speaker 04

  It's a war crime. Some of these quarterbacks we throw their way.

• 1:13:08Bill Simmons?

  Is the goal for London, we just make money because they'll go watch anything? Because if the goal is to try to get them to love professional football and become real fans of the sport, we're sending them the worst teams over and over again. Are these teams you would never want to watch? And there are these 21 to 17, these shitty games. Why don't we send like real people over there?

• 1:13:29Speaker 04

  Real people?

• 1:13:30Bill Simmons?

  Like send them like Josh Allen versus Patrick Mahomes or like just one game where they'll be like, whoa.

• 1:13:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, if we're gonna have three or four in London or whatever, one of them needs to be decent, right?

• 1:13:41Bill Simmons?

  We gave them the Vikings twice.

• 1:13:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, if it was Patriots Bills, I would have been fine for Sunday morning. But yeah, I'm with you.

• 1:13:49Bill Simmons?

  I went for, I wrote down Broncos minus seven. I think I might be low.

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 1:13:55Bill Simmons?

  I picked two exactly and I can't gain any ground on you?

• 1:13:59Speaker 04

  Seven?

• 1:14:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Well, there's your teaser, right? I don't know if I'm doing the, I'm 0-2 with the Euro games. Today I did a

• 1:14:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, but this is

• 1:14:12Bill Simmons?

  Browns under, a Browns money line under with the Colts and I felt great about it. And then the Browns didn't win.

• 1:14:22Speaker 04

  The Browns money line under?

• 1:14:24Bill Simmons?

  The Browns money line with the under in the Browns game with the Colts money line. I did that as a parlay.

• 1:14:30Speaker 04

  Well, why'd you like the Browns so much?

• 1:14:32Bill Simmons?

  Because the Vikings had no offensive line. I just thought their defense was gonna win it by themselves.

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  Well, this is different. Denver should win. Just, just to win? I mean, that, you know.

• 1:14:42Bill Simmons?

  I mean, coming off the high of winning in Philly and then losing to Justin Fields in London.

• 1:14:49Bill Simmons?

  By the way, by 10 o'clock on Sunday, the Giants and the Jets could still have one win.

• 1:14:56Speaker 04

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:14:56Bill Simmons?

  Like, we should really be monitoring this. This is, there's like, the Yankees fell behind 2-0 in this, in this Blue Jays series, which I'm just stunned by because I just thought they were gonna kill the Blue Jays.

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:08Bill Simmons?

  This, this could be in the running for like, a, like a week from hell for the New York sports.

• 1:15:14Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 1:15:15Bill Simmons?

  Yankees get bounced, embarrassing Thursday night game, embarrassing London game, Yankees are gone, Met season was a disaster. Now everything's like riding on Knicks. Did you think the Met season wasn't a disaster?

• 1:15:28Speaker 04

  No, I hadn't even thought about it until you mentioned it. Um, well, should we do the same thing with Philadelphia, though? Eagles lose, Phillies lose game one, Penn State.

• 1:15:37Bill Simmons?

  Eagles lose and.

• 1:15:38Speaker 04

  Penn State, UCLA.

• 1:15:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that was bad.

• 1:15:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:42Bill Simmons?

  Eagles fans like this, though. They never want to be too happy.

• 1:15:45Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 1:15:45Bill Simmons?

  Now they get to complain all week. Like, what are we doing? Why don't we use the receivers? What's going on?

• 1:15:50Speaker 04

  It's the goal bar effect.

• 1:15:51Bill Simmons?

  They've been used.

• 1:15:51Speaker 04

  They like being angry. Yeah, they're upset.

• 1:15:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they like it. They're, they're in the right spot.

• 1:15:56Bill Simmons?

  Sunday marquee game. I couldn't believe this was the marquee game, but I think this is what it should be.

• 1:16:03Bill Simmons?

  Bucks in Tampa against the San Francisco 49ers. I think is the best game.

• 1:16:09Speaker 04

  Definitely.

• 1:16:10Bill Simmons?

  I think Tom Brady will go to this game and, and get all, bunch of insight.

• 1:16:15Speaker 04

  Oh, he shouldn't be allowed. He shouldn't be allowed.

• 1:16:17Bill Simmons?

  He's gonna find out so many things. It's gonna help the Raiders.

• 1:16:20Speaker 04

  This is the only reason the Raiders are only losing by 25 and not 50 because he's got the inside scoop.

• 1:16:26Bill Simmons?

  A friend of Brady was saying that Gino would have 19 interceptions if Brady wasn't in these meetings, learning things. How's Bucks minus 2.5 sound?

• 1:16:36Speaker 04

  Oh, come on. Yeah, it sounds like you're cheating because now you're 3 for 3 with exact lines. That's what it sounds like. I had 3. I thought the Bucks should be 3.

• 1:16:44Bill Simmons?

  I haven't seen anything. Bucks minus 2.5.

• 1:16:48Speaker 04

  I can't win.

• 1:16:49Bill Simmons?

  Whoa, I'm throwing a no hitter right now.

• 1:16:50Speaker 04

  I have some bad picks too coming up. This sucks.

• 1:16:55Speaker 04

  Why isn't this 3?

• 1:16:57Bill Simmons?

  I think it ends up at 3, right? Well, because we don't know if Purdy's playing or not.

• 1:17:01Speaker 04

  And that's bad or good? I don't know what's.

• 1:17:03Bill Simmons?

  Well, Mac Jones has one leg.

• 1:17:06Speaker 04

  Seems to be enough.

• 1:17:07Bill Simmons?

  I was proud of my guy, Mac Jones.

• 1:17:11Bill Simmons?

  I thought he, you know, I, I always felt like there was, maybe we overrated him too much in the beginning, but it also really felt like he was just broken by the experience of being on these last Belichick teams.

• 1:17:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:24Bill Simmons?

  Right? And like just lost his confidence, like a little Baker Mayfield is Baker, Baker Mayfield got waved and is now, we're calling him the MVP. So I don't know, you can lose your confidence, but.

• 1:17:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, Shanahan must be just giddy. I mean, this is the guy he wanted at three anyway, right?

• 1:17:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Bill Simmons?

  Uh, watchables.

• 1:17:44Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:17:45Bill Simmons?

  I only have one. Jags, Seahawks in Jacksonville.

• 1:17:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:52Bill Simmons?

  Pretty good game.

• 1:17:54Bill Simmons?

  Putting in the tic tac zone. I get the Jags minus one and a half.

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  I mean, this is unprecedented fucking cheating going on.

• 1:18:03Bill Simmons?

  Did I hit it again? I did not cheat. I swear on my kids.

• 1:18:07Speaker 04

  Your kids.

• 1:18:08Bill Simmons?

  Did I hit this?

• 1:18:09Speaker 04

  You hit it. You got four in a row perfectly.

• 1:18:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. They should put this on the main page of YouTube right now. Four for four.

• 1:18:17Speaker 04

  This is nuts. All right. I had Seattle. I thought Seattle would lay one and I guess.

• 1:18:23Bill Simmons?

  No, they had too many injuries.

• 1:18:24Speaker 04

  This could change a lot depending on what goes on.

• 1:18:26Bill Simmons?

  I thought I was too low on that one.

• 1:18:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure you did. Look at this.

• 1:18:30Bill Simmons?

  I mean, they, they, they're out on Witherspoon, Durant's out.

• 1:18:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:36Bill Simmons?

  I like, instead of rooting for history, you're.

• 1:18:39Speaker 04

  As bummed out as this is the shithead who dropped the ball at the goal line now.

• 1:18:45Bill Simmons?

  DeMar Cato. He blacked out. That's what he shouldn't have said in the post-game press conference. I blacked out. I don't remember what happened. Have you guys ever scored a touchdown? That's what he should say. Anybody here ever scored a 76-yard touchdown? Yeah, you don't understand what happens. You black out. It's really exciting. It's blacked out. I didn't have enough sugar today.

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  I think you should say stroke. I say, I had a stroke.

• 1:19:06Bill Simmons?

  I had a bad stroke.

• 1:19:07Speaker 04

  Eligible for comeback player of the year next year.

• 1:19:09Bill Simmons?

  I'm going, I'm going for an MRI. I might have had a stroke. Fairly watchable. They're five. Man, now there's some pressure.

• 1:19:16Speaker 04

  What does it matter?

• 1:19:18Bill Simmons?

  Colts, Cardinals, Indianapolis.

• 1:19:24Speaker 04

  Well, I got this, I got this exact. So if you get this, I'm, I'm pressing leave meeting and I'm walking the F out of here. Go ahead.

• 1:19:32Bill Simmons?

  I have it in the Vegas zone.

• 1:19:34Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:19:37Bill Simmons?

  Colts five and a half.

• 1:19:39Speaker 04

  Wow. Wow.

• 1:19:44Speaker 04

  What a red.

• 1:19:46Speaker 04

  No one's even gotten three in a row. You have five?

• 1:19:49Bill Simmons?

  This is the record for us. You know what's funny? I had four and a half before that Arizona loss. Then I bumped it a point.

• 1:19:56Speaker 04

  Let's just do parent corner. Why do we have to hit the rest of these games?

• 1:20:00Bill Simmons?

  This is unbelievable. I'm like, I'm like the bishop in Caddishack.

• 1:20:05Speaker 04

  All right. You're still up five, three, because I have three, but that wasn't enough. You have five.

• 1:20:09Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna lose this one.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 1:20:11Bill Simmons?

  I don't even know that this is a fairly watchable. It might be a poop one. But Chargers at Miami.

• 1:20:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:21Bill Simmons?

  Lot of pressure on this. I have the Chargers minus two and a half.

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  Okay, we tie on this. But neither was of us are close to the actual line, which is Chargers by four and a half.

• 1:20:35Bill Simmons?

  Oh. They put that in the Vegas zone.

• 1:20:37Speaker 04

  That's a lot. One of these teams beats the shit out of the other. I can't remember which it is, but they seem to play every year.

• 1:20:44Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. That's what's the weather gonna be like in a week? Do we know? October.

• 1:20:49Speaker 04

  In Miami? I think it'll be okay.

• 1:20:52Bill Simmons?

  October 12th Miami weather.

• 1:20:55Speaker 04

  What's gonna surprise you here? Seventy-eight.

• 1:20:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:00Speaker 04

  What is it?

• 1:21:01Bill Simmons?

  It's gonna be eighty-three.

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:21:03Bill Simmons?

  I think that's a massive advantage for.

• 1:21:05Speaker 04

  I'll give you an extra one for that. Yeah.

• 1:21:07Bill Simmons?

  It's gonna be eighty-four on Saturday and eighty-three on Sunday. I think that's a real advantage for them. I think these teams get tired in the second half.

• 1:21:15Speaker 04

  That is a little warmer than I thought.

• 1:21:16Bill Simmons?

  They're like baking in the sun.

• 1:21:18Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:21:18Bill Simmons?

  Um. Man, that makes me worried for my Dolphins.

• 1:21:21Speaker 04

  Wasn't it hot in Carolina today too? I mean, the Dolphins were terrible at the end.

• 1:21:26Bill Simmons?

  Was it?

• 1:21:27Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:21:27Bill Simmons?

  Probably. All right, Steelers Browns. My streak's over.

• 1:21:32Speaker 04

  Little run.

• 1:21:33Bill Simmons?

  This is in Pittsburgh.

• 1:21:36Bill Simmons?

  Right?

• 1:21:37Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:21:38Bill Simmons?

  The Steelers aren't that good. But the Browns have a good defense, so I'm gonna make this Steelers five and a half.

• 1:21:51Speaker 04

  You know what? Starting next week, I'm gonna drink the hot water and lemon by the gallon.

• 1:21:55Bill Simmons?

  Did I hit it?

• 1:21:56Speaker 04

  You hit it exactly.

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  I said six.

• 1:22:00Bill Simmons?

  See, now people, nobody's gonna believe this. What do I have to swear on?

• 1:22:05Speaker 04

  I don't know. I mean, you're not a very good actor. I'll say that. So you got, I think you're being legit here. I don't know what to say.

• 1:22:15Speaker 04

  You have six out of seven exactly?

• 1:22:18Bill Simmons?

  I'm feeling the schedule. I've been watching a lot of football.

• 1:22:21Speaker 04

  You should, I mean, this is gonna be interesting to see if you make money this week.

• 1:22:26Bill Simmons?

  I think I might hit this next one.

• 1:22:28Speaker 04

  That's probably low too, right? Wouldn't you be surprised if they lost that game? That's what, that should be higher.

• 1:22:34Bill Simmons?

  The problem with the Browns is if they get a lead.

• 1:22:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:37Bill Simmons?

  With their defense against Rogers. Like if they were like up nine, nothing or something, I could see them.

• 1:22:43Speaker 04

  Pittsburgh was off, right?

• 1:22:44Bill Simmons?

  And Cleveland's coming.

• 1:22:45Speaker 04

  It was off.

• 1:22:46Bill Simmons?

  And Cleveland's coming back.

• 1:22:47Speaker 04

  But Cleveland's coming for Europe. That's a huge rest advantage there.

• 1:22:51Bill Simmons?

  It's a parlay game.

• 1:22:53Bill Simmons?

  Rams Ravens. So are we assuming no Lamar? Cause I did my guess with no Lamar.

• 1:22:59Speaker 04

  I'll give you a hint, not that you needed. Yes, no Lamar if you read into this line.

• 1:23:05Bill Simmons?

  Okay. Well, I'm probably too low anyway, cause I said Rams minus three and a half.

• 1:23:09Speaker 04

  Okay. I said five. It's seven and a half.

• 1:23:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, they've had enough.

• 1:23:17Bill Simmons?

  So I've hit six exactly, but I was off by two and off by four.

• 1:23:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:22Bill Simmons?

  Wow, seven and a half is high. It's kind of a kitchen sink game for the Ravens. Like, did they, they won and they'd be one and five heading into a bye. Like, don't they? You're doing flea flickers. You're doing double passes. You're doing everything.

• 1:23:36Speaker 04

  I'd like Baltimore a lot more if the Rams hadn't lost that stupid, stupid ass game on Thursday.

• 1:23:44Speaker 04

  You know.

• 1:23:44Bill Simmons?

  That really was stupid. I'm tired of, I, I, I'm at my limit of the guys fumbling as they're about to score a touchdown.

• 1:23:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:52Bill Simmons?

  Like this used to happen once a year and now I feel like it's happened.

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  Even if they get punched in the head.

• 1:23:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:57Speaker 04

  Nobody, no, but yeah, I, I mean, I, I don't like when you feel like you can't count on anything like when it's bad play calling by Sean McVay, right? We gotta be able to count on the good coaches. There's not, there's too many bad coaches, quarterback combos.

• 1:24:10Bill Simmons?

  But that's a, I talked about this on Thursday's pod. For some reason, he has a blind spot on these fourth and ones, right? Did you feel like that was gonna be a good call by him?

• 1:24:19Speaker 04

  Well, no.

• 1:24:19Bill Simmons?

  I always feel like he messes those up.

• 1:24:21Speaker 04

  He's gotta be able to audible out, right? When, when everybody is loading the box, like you can't, it never works. The tail back up the middle.

• 1:24:31Bill Simmons?

  Pat Saints, initially before the Buffalo game, I had Tic Tacs on for this, but I think they have to be minus three in New Orleans. So I went Pat's minus three in New Orleans.

• 1:24:42Speaker 04

  It is Pat's minus three. I said two and a half.

• 1:24:45Bill Simmons?

  How many have I hit? Seven?

• 1:24:48Speaker 04

  That's seven exactly.

• 1:24:49Bill Simmons?

  That might be the record.

• 1:24:51Speaker 04

  This is ridiculous. We gotta give you a parade here or something. One, two.

• 1:24:54Bill Simmons?

  That's a pretty easy one, though.

• 1:24:56Speaker 04

  Three, four. I guess I'm just a half point off everything.

• 1:25:02Bill Simmons?

  Poop fact, the three games, including your team. Dangerous game.

• 1:25:08Bill Simmons?

  Cowboys at Carolina.

• 1:25:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:11Bill Simmons?

  If it's gonna be hot in Miami, I'm guessing it's also gonna be hot in Carolina.

• 1:25:16Bill Simmons?

  I have Cowboys minus three and a half in Carolina.

• 1:25:19Speaker 04

  Should we hire someone to do, what, what'd you say?

• 1:25:22Bill Simmons?

  Minus three and a half Cowboys.

• 1:25:26Speaker 04

  I can't believe this after a while, right? Like I, I can't just sit here and get insulted.

• 1:25:31Bill Simmons?

  Is it three and a half?

• 1:25:32Speaker 04

  It's three and a half. I said three.

• 1:25:34Bill Simmons?

  Eight.

• 1:25:36Speaker 04

  Oh my God. Jacoby, there's not much I can do here, Jacoby.

• 1:25:39Bill Simmons?

  What a day. The Pats beat the Bills.

• 1:25:43Bill Simmons?

  And I'm on fire.

• 1:25:44Speaker 04

  Uh, let's just stop this now.

• 1:25:47Bill Simmons?

  No, now I gotta see if I get to 10. Well, I don't know. We'll see. I already have the guesses. Are you scared of that Carolina game?

• 1:25:54Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. I was scared of watching the documentary when we lost that game. Michael Urban had a good game.

• 1:26:01Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. You have the Steve Berlone?

• 1:26:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this has all the makings of you go up 10-0 and then all of a sudden it's 24 to 14 Panthers.

• 1:26:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, we lost to them last or two years ago. We already lost.

• 1:26:14Bill Simmons?

  Spode Darius is saying it's a huge comeback. Raiders Titans. I mean, it's in Vegas.

• 1:26:27Bill Simmons?

  I have Raiders minus two. I don't think I hit this one.

• 1:26:30Speaker 04

  Oh, wow. Well, you should lose like four for that. I said four and it's six and a half.

• 1:26:36Bill Simmons?

  What?

• 1:26:38Speaker 04

  Let me recheck. Yeah. Six and a half. You love Vegas on a teaser. You love them.

• 1:26:45Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 1:26:48Bill Simmons?

  I just think, what did we say the home field advantage is now? One and a half?

• 1:26:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:54Bill Simmons?

  Do you think the Raiders are better than the Titans?

• 1:26:58Bill Simmons?

  I mean, one of the things we didn't mention with the Raiders is they don't have Bowers.

• 1:27:01Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:27:02Bill Simmons?

  Bowers clearly fucked up his knee after week one. He tried to play the last two weeks. He wasn't explosive at all. They benched him in today's game. And I just think without him, they don't, that's like the only receiving weapon they have.

• 1:27:17Speaker 04

  I don't know what to think because the Titans go down, you know, 14, 17 points every game. So it just depends on if there's a Kyler Murray type to let him back in it.

• 1:27:28Bill Simmons?

  Last game is Packers.

• 1:27:31Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:27:31Bill Simmons?

  Packers in Green Bay. Facing the Bengals.

• 1:27:37Speaker 04

  I was way off on this. Go ahead.

• 1:27:39Bill Simmons?

  You're way off on this?

• 1:27:40Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Yeah.

• 1:27:41Bill Simmons?

  Well, Detroit was favored in Cincinnati by 10 and a half and killed them. So the Packers have to be favored by 13.

• 1:27:48Speaker 04

  Okay. I said 11. It's 14 and a half. Oof.

• 1:27:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:58Speaker 04

  They can't screw around here.

• 1:28:02Bill Simmons?

  Might have to break out the old 13-point teaser for that one. Take it out of the closet. Got a leg.

• 1:28:08Speaker 04

  You can do whatever you want this week. I don't see how you lose any of these games. You're all over everything.

• 1:28:14Bill Simmons?

  Would you see the home teams today?

• 1:28:17Speaker 04

  What was it?

• 1:28:18Bill Simmons?

  They were three and nine outright for this week, for week, week five. Home teams today, just winning or losing.

• 1:28:27Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:28:27Bill Simmons?

  Were three and nine.

• 1:28:28Speaker 04

  Today?

• 1:28:29Bill Simmons?

  Not counting the Rams.

• 1:28:30Speaker 04

  The Rams also?

• 1:28:31Bill Simmons?

  Including the Rams. Yeah.

• 1:28:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, that makes sense as I look at my ledger. Yep.

• 1:28:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, didn't make a lot of sense. Okay. Sunday night, Chiefs Lions, a great game.

• 1:28:43Bill Simmons?

  And I put it right in the Tic Tac Zone. And I said Chiefs minus one and a half.

• 1:28:47Speaker 04

  All right, well, I've lost track now, but you, yes, you hit that exactly. It's one and a half. I thought Detroit would be favored by one, but I guess you can't just.

• 1:28:56Bill Simmons?

  That's my ninth one.

• 1:28:58Speaker 04

  Is that it?

• 1:28:58Bill Simmons?

  I might get to 10. There's two Monday night games.

• 1:29:00Speaker 04

  Because I have such a headache. I feel like it's like 15, but if you say nine.

• 1:29:05Bill Simmons?

  Is this, is this better or worse for you than losing the Cardinals bet? When the guy you're about to go up 28.

• 1:29:11Speaker 04

  This is bad. This is De Mercado and the Mets blowing, uh, whatever it was.

• 1:29:17Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna get no credit for this because everybody's gonna think I cheated.

• 1:29:20Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, they should.

• 1:29:21Bill Simmons?

  The only one who knows he didn't cheat is me, and I'm like wildly impressed by myself. I've never done this.

• 1:29:26Speaker 04

  I don't think you would cheat this way. I don't, I really don't think so.

• 1:29:30Bill Simmons?

  I certainly would have to be a lunatic to cheat this way.

• 1:29:32Speaker 04

  Well, yeah.

• 1:29:37Speaker 04

  It's the freaking hot water. It's doing it.

• 1:29:40Bill Simmons?

  Let's go for 10. Monday night, Bills at Atlanta.

• 1:29:43Speaker 04

  Two games again. How are they just gonna keep doing this?

• 1:29:46Bill Simmons?

  I don't mind it.

• 1:29:49Bill Simmons?

  I went Bills minus two and a half in Atlanta.

• 1:29:52Speaker 04

  Oh, you lost this one. I said five. It's four and a half.

• 1:29:56Bill Simmons?

  Wow, another one where I'm off.

• 1:29:57Speaker 04

  Well, they're not gonna lose. I mean, wouldn't you be shocked if they lost? This and tonight?

• 1:30:05Speaker 04

  Everyone's betting Buffalo here.

• 1:30:09Bill Simmons?

  I think Atlanta is a pretty solid home team. They had the week off. I haven't seen Buffalo play a complete game yet and we're heading into the second week of October. I don't know. I think Atlanta could win this.

• 1:30:22Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:30:23Bill Simmons?

  I wouldn't feel awesome about betting Buffalo on the money line.

• 1:30:28Bill Simmons?

  Last one, my last chance to go

• 1:30:32Bill Simmons?

  to go for 10, which would easily be the record. It's Washington at home on a Monday night against the Bears.

• 1:30:40Bill Simmons?

  Without Terry McLaurin, but with Daniels. And I have Washington in the Vegas zone. Is it in the Vegas zone?

• 1:30:46Speaker 04

  It is in the Vegas zone.

• 1:30:48Bill Simmons?

  I have Washington minus four and a half.

• 1:30:52Speaker 04

  You did it.

• 1:30:56Speaker 04

  You did it.

• 1:30:56Bill Simmons?

  10!

• 1:30:58Speaker 04

  There is a crazy-

• 1:30:59Bill Simmons?

  Were there bye weeks this week?

• 1:31:00Speaker 04

  There were. Thank God. There was two teams on bye, Houston and Minnesota, because you would have had 11.

• 1:31:05Bill Simmons?

  So I got 10 and the 15 I hit exactly.

• 1:31:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:08Bill Simmons?

  We've never, that's never happened before.

• 1:31:09Speaker 04

  I don't think six or seven has ever happened. We're launching an investigation.

• 1:31:14Bill Simmons?

  I don't know what to tell you.

• 1:31:15Speaker 04

  You, Comey, you're all going down.

• 1:31:20Speaker 04

  Wow. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

• 1:31:22Bill Simmons?

  You know what it is? Here it is. Here's the secret right here. You're not looking up.

• 1:31:27Speaker 04

  It is, yeah. Is that, is that a urine specimen? What is that?

• 1:31:31Bill Simmons?

  No, that's, it's water with lemon in it.

• 1:31:33Speaker 04

  Lemon, yeah.

• 1:31:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:35Speaker 04

  Good fearing. Good job by you. 12, 7, and you lead 4 weeks to 2. Oh, man, I am rattled by that.

• 1:31:43Speaker 04

  That was impressive.

• 1:31:44Bill Simmons?

  I should have, when I was going for 10, I should have held my iPad right over the camera and then dropped it like DeMar Cato. Dangled it and just-

• 1:31:54Speaker 04

  We'll have to replay that.

• 1:31:55Bill Simmons?

  Just lost it. So 7-point teaser or parlay type of things. Rams, Ravens, if Lamar isn't playing, that's pretty enticing. Eagles, Giants, Broncos, Jets would be the three. That's one of those. Which team is blowing this for us?

• 1:32:15Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't think it's complicated. Philly and Denver.

• 1:32:21Bill Simmons?

  Philly, you have to do.

• 1:32:22Speaker 04

  Thursday night, Sunday morning, we're done.

• 1:32:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:27Speaker 04

  Don't even wake up for that game.

• 1:32:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:31Bill Simmons?

  You want to hit some parent corner?

• 1:32:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, not really. I want to go to sleep. I'm really mad about this.

• 1:32:37Bill Simmons?

  Today's parent corner brought to you by Workday. Are you a forward thinker? Then you need an HR and finance platform that thinks like you do. Workday, the AI platform that helps propel your organization, your workforce and your entire industry into the future. Workday, moving business forever forward. Parent corner. Let's hear it. You were in Brooklyn with your whole family. Was your family in Brooklyn or no?

• 1:33:00Speaker 04

  No, they were home. And that's, um, that's what goes on here. So I didn't really have much interaction with them. Um, but, uh, yeah, I was there for eight days. And I was like, you know, do I have to bring something home? I guess I should bring something home. So I bring home a bunch of, uh, yes, Jimmy Kimmel Live sweatshirts and T-shirts and hats. Not free and not cheap, but I do get a 20% discount. And I met with, uh, oh, thanks. Like everyone's like, yeah, it's like, you know, I got 12.

• 1:33:31Bill Simmons?

  They were handing them out at the show?

• 1:33:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's like, I was like, yeah, I paid for these. It's nice. It was like actually hard to get because they were like selling outside. I put them aside. Like, yeah, 12 year old, 17 year old wife. And I was like thinking to myself, what age do you stop bringing gifts home for the kids after a business trip?

• 1:33:51Speaker 04

  And I thought about it.

• 1:33:52Bill Simmons?

  Probably like nine?

• 1:33:53Speaker 04

  I would say nine. Yeah. I thought about it and I threw a lot of numbers around and I wanted to hit it exact, much like you did, um, 10 times today, whatever you did on the guess the lines. And I figured that age is whatever age they started getting everything they fucking ever asked for in life is the age. Why do we have to bring back anything to signify, of course I missed you. We FaceTime, we called, but you also get whatever you want. Like you get Roblox bucks and every PlayStation game or app or Amazon gift cards or fishing poles or boogie boogie. Or top golf out like it adds up is a is a statue of liberty globe, a snow globe.

• 1:34:37Speaker 04

  I'm certainly not getting anyone a Mets jersey from New York. I feel like I did the okay thing.

• 1:34:42Bill Simmons?

  Half price Soto jersey?

• 1:34:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's enough. It's good.

• 1:34:47Bill Simmons?

  Maybe it's the Venn diagram is exactly the same age as elf in the shelf. Whenever that stops, that's when you stop bringing gifts home too.

• 1:34:55Speaker 04

  Okay, so two, three years past the Easter bunny and I hope no kids are listening, but the the other guy, the big guy. Yeah.

• 1:35:03Bill Simmons?

  Big beard guy, John Walsh?

• 1:35:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, John Walsh.

• 1:35:07Speaker 04

  That's that's it. I don't know. So I never know. No one's happy.

• 1:35:10Bill Simmons?

  All right. So converse question or like parallel question. How many years do you have to be with whoever you're dating or married to before you don't even think to bring them home something when you've been away for a week?

• 1:35:22Speaker 04

  Same thing.

• 1:35:22Bill Simmons?

  That's probably like three, four years.

• 1:35:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:35:27Bill Simmons?

  Because then if it's like after like 11 years and you bring them something, they just assume like you cheated on them when you were away.

• 1:35:32Speaker 04

  Suspicious. Yeah.

• 1:35:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. It's like, why are you giving me this?

• 1:35:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:35:36Bill Simmons?

  What are you up to?

• 1:35:37Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:35:37Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I just wanted to get you a sweatshirt. Why?

• 1:35:41Speaker 04

  That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Now versus if you send them flowers just on a random Wednesday, that's I to me, that's nicer than not that I would do that, but that's nicer than, you know, bringing gifts home. So I know.

• 1:35:55Bill Simmons?

  What was your best? Was Billy Kim all in Brooklyn?

• 1:35:57Speaker 04

  He was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was good.

• 1:35:59Bill Simmons?

  I mean, I just want, I just want, we're gonna have our cousin come on parent corner. I think next week.

• 1:36:06Bill Simmons?

  I got to see, so little Billy, who's in the perfect parent corner age.

• 1:36:10Speaker 04

  So funny.

• 1:36:12Bill Simmons?

  I haven't seen you this delighted by anybody in a long time.

• 1:36:17Bill Simmons?

  Because it's good because it's not your son. So you're you're like you're the perfect amount of distance, but you're related to him and he's a complete shit stir. And he was just shooting people with a water gun and messing with 20 people in this like very tense office and you had the tongue in your cheek. You were just delighted.

• 1:36:36Speaker 04

  People all dressed up. It's the first show back. This is in LA, the first show back and Billy knows right where the water gun is. It goes right for his mother who turned right in like.

• 1:36:44Bill Simmons?

  Shoots her in the ear.

• 1:36:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like block or charge. I don't know what we call this, but she walked right into it.

• 1:36:49Bill Simmons?

  She's wearing a dress. It's like the biggest show in the history of the show. She's just firing a water gun at her. So did he have any good Brooklyn moments?

• 1:36:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, first of all, great crowds, 10,000 people over five days. There were like 125,000 ticket requests and no shenanigans. Like I was worried, like all it takes is one or two, whatever. So all, all big fans, all big energy. Highlights, uh, I mean, you could call me grandma Sal instead of cousin Sal because I had about 25 grandma slices of pizza while I was there. All different spots.

• 1:37:19Bill Simmons?

  Did you weigh yourself before and after the trip or no?

• 1:37:22Speaker 04

  I didn't. Tomorrow, though, I'm tripling up on the Zepbound. So, uh, I have to, have to get, get it in order. It's gonna be lemon and hot water the rest of the year till Christmas. We took our Aunt Chippy on a tour of rats in New York City. This is essentially like, yeah, she didn't like it too much and she was very upset with us. But I think the highlight was Seth Meyers was on the show and requested to meet me and he is a big, big fan of ours.

• 1:37:49Bill Simmons?

  He's a long time guest of the Lions guy.

• 1:37:51Speaker 04

  Yeah. And he's, he's a big fan of mine and yours before the hot water with lemon fiasco. Now he's just a fan of mine, but he was like, you gotta go after us. Don't ever let him forget about that lemon thing. That's crazy. So, and here you are hitting 10.

• 1:38:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. He texted me about it and I reminded him that you were sharing a milkshake with Rob Mills.

• 1:38:08Speaker 04

  He, no one cares about that.

• 1:38:09Bill Simmons?

  Share a vanilla milkshake.

• 1:38:10Speaker 04

  Fine, it's still milkshake.

• 1:38:12Bill Simmons?

  Forty nine year old man.

• 1:38:16Bill Simmons?

  It sounded like it was a great week. The Matt Damon thing was the highlight.

• 1:38:19Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:38:20Bill Simmons?

  That was great. The Matt Damon, uh, was really, really funny. Um, so mine, I, listen, I just, I very few times will I use this platform just to complain, hoping for change, but also just complaining. I don't really like when people use platforms for that, but, um, you know, my daughter plays college soccer. She's a div three athlete and all these different leagues have these different systems for show, streaming the games to the parents. Cause obviously the kids are from all over the place and people still want to, there's nothing more fun than watching your kid play sports. So we, we played a NESCAC team. Um, NESCAC is the one with Amherst and Williams and Boden, all those ones.

• 1:39:04Bill Simmons?

  And they're playing in Boden and it's like the most, they have, it's called NSN Sports. And they have this beautiful HD wide feed and you could see the whole game and the picture was perfect and it was like, the game was on ESPN2 and we're like, my wife and I were like, this is amazing. Like this is like the best telecast of a Zoe game ever. And then on Saturday, we go back to the app that's for her league, the new Mac league.

• 1:39:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:28Bill Simmons?

  And it's called Flow Sports. And it's this app that when it works for 20 straight minutes, it's a fucking miracle. And sometimes, sometimes it's just gone and it says technical difficulties, there'll be 20 minutes left in the game. Sometimes it doesn't start. You log on before the game and you're just like, I, I just hope my daughter's game's on. I just, I really, and then it's like, oh, there's the field. So this one, they, they reached a new one on Saturday. They've never done this one before. I felt like Flow Sports had played all of the hits for just how to fuck with parents of these players. This one, there was just a test pattern that was, it was, it was a field of the game.

• 1:40:09Bill Simmons?

  There's some three year old, there, a wide shot of the field, one camera. There's some three year old working the camera. They're just zooming in and out. It's like if you give your son an iPhone and he's like, ah. And then on top of it, the test pattern. And every time the camera would move, if like somebody kicked the ball, the test pattern would come on. So about 20 minutes in, we're like, we might have a seizure. Like, should we keep watching this? Like, we have to watch it. It's Zoe's game. And it's just test pattern, game, test pattern, game, test pattern, game. Flow Sports, it's like $10 a month.

• 1:40:41Speaker 04

  I know, it was big on wrestling. I think it started with like wrestling.

• 1:40:46Bill Simmons?

  They have all these sports and there was, I Googled them and there was this big article about, um, Flow Sports, they have so much money and resources and things are going great. It's like, things aren't going great. Your cameras suck. Every telecast, it's a 50 50 whether I'm going to see my daughter's game or not. I live 3,000 miles away. Show the fucking game. Figure it out. Get better cameras. Use your resources for all these colleges. You have this great economic thing going on. You have people like us that are just away from our kids. Like, this is, we'll pay any amount of money to watch our kids play. Figure out the fucking cameras flow sports. Like, don't suck this much. That's my rant for.

• 1:41:24Speaker 04

  I like it. I like it. They're done now. You crippled that. You made it worse, you know? You crippled that company. Flow Sports and Tylenol, out.

• 1:41:32Bill Simmons?

  You know why I'm so upset? Because I'm still recovering from the seven seizures I had from the 97,000 times they flashed the test pattern.

• 1:41:39Speaker 04

  Well, it helps you guess the lines, obviously. Yeah.

• 1:41:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, maybe they'll seize yourself. Anyway.

• 1:41:45Speaker 04

  How many games do you think they're doing simultaneously? Not to stick up for them here, because I don't know what's going on, but do they? They probably have.

• 1:41:52Bill Simmons?

  Oh, they have a million. Yeah, they have a million things, but yeah. Yeah, but at some point, like, if this is a business, like, the thing shouldn't flake out.

• 1:42:02Speaker 04

  Oh, it's not a business anymore.

• 1:42:03Bill Simmons?

  NSN Sports. The Nescafe certainly has a good camera. Flow Sports, just get, like, have a meeting, play this whole rant in the meeting at 10 o'clock, and I really want you to all look at each other in the conference room.

• 1:42:17Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:42:17Bill Simmons?

  And figure the fuck out what you're gonna do long term with this. This is a great product you have. Parents love watching their kids play sports. Just figure it out.

• 1:42:28Speaker 04

  It's true.

• 1:42:28Bill Simmons?

  There's another game on Wednesday. Like, Zoe's playing Wednesday. Am I gonna be able to watch the game? Is it gonna cut out? Like, we'll never know.

• 1:42:35Speaker 04

  Oh, they're gonna fly you out first class now to make sure you don't miss your, your right on the field.

• 1:42:39Bill Simmons?

  Have the feed. I don't need anything. Just have the feed work. I speak on behalf of all the parents out there, and I know there's gotta be so many more parents that like, fucking hate Flow Sports.

• 1:42:48Speaker 04

  How much is it? 10 a month?

• 1:42:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, something like that.

• 1:42:51Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. If they say they're gonna have it, they should have it.

• 1:42:54Bill Simmons?

  It's two months away from 2026. Like, we should be, even I have a good camera for the podcast now. Think how long that took. Like, we're all getting better at this stuff.

• 1:43:04Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:43:04Bill Simmons?

  Anyway, that was Parent Corner.

• 1:43:06Speaker 04

  Full from Progressive just killed herself.

• 1:43:10Bill Simmons?

  His parent quarter brought to you by workday.com. You could learn more about all their great stuff there. They are a more competent company than Flow Sports.

• 1:43:19Bill Simmons?

  All right. So what do you have going this week? Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Ringer, Ringer Gamma Show?

• 1:43:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:26Bill Simmons?

  House is coming this weekend, by the way.

• 1:43:28Speaker 04

  Oh, he is? Oh, you're doing it?

• 1:43:29Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if you're coming for football.

• 1:43:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's get that going.

• 1:43:33Bill Simmons?

  Coming for football on Sunday.

• 1:43:34Speaker 04

  You, Tuesday with Tate. Wow, Penn State and Texas suck. We're going to talk college. We're going to talk pro, talk baseball. What's going on with Coach Belichick? Wednesday with House and our nephew, the bundle. Friday with the bundle and high fits and then our award winning pregame show. By the way, I was a great fit. That was like a look, stand back. And I'm like, what I'm doing in life is pretty cool. I'm like, well, I'm on with my buddies on this pregame show and I'm like, I'm going to bet the Vikings on that last drive plus 250. Of course I lost it all during the day, but I'm going to, I'm going to bet them. I like this. This is still the Browns. And then we discussed it. We're on the air talking about it and it won. I was like, this is, this is very cool. So there you go. Bring a pregame show.

• 1:44:15Bill Simmons?

  Any, any baseball picks before we go? Anything you're excited about?

• 1:44:18Speaker 04

  How, how could you pick any of these games? Do you like any of this?

• 1:44:23Bill Simmons?

  I thought the Yankees were going to, honestly, I thought they were going to kill Toronto. I'm not saying that.

• 1:44:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:27Bill Simmons?

  Has a reverse jinx thing. When Bichette got scratched, combined with Toronto's bullpen, but the thing is they've never even had to go to the bullpen because they've killed them in two games in a row.

• 1:44:38Speaker 04

  Yep. Can I say something that's?

• 1:44:41Bill Simmons?

  Detroit, Seattle is a good series though. I think that one's going to go seven.

• 1:44:44Speaker 04

  I'm old manish with this thing because it, I don't like when the playoffs don't resemble the regular season. And when these guys, I mean, Seattle had a fricking shutout going and still used five pitchers. I know it ended up three, two. But they allowed one earned run. Like, we need to see five pitchers when your, your guy is like throwing a gem, doing the best he's ever done, you know? So anyway, but it's fun to have.

• 1:45:07Bill Simmons?

  Would you put like a, would, would you put like a number for how many you could use in the first seven innings or something?

• 1:45:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think just, I don't know. I guess you can't do that because of injury and everything, but I also think all these games should air on Flow Sports.

• 1:45:25Bill Simmons?

  Toronto Yankees on Flow Sports.

• 1:45:29Speaker 04

  Imagine getting a camera to Canada?

• 1:45:31Bill Simmons?

  Oh, man. Just Flow Sports. Just do better. I'm not, just do better. Not asking for a home run. Just, just get, hit a single to the opposite field. It'd be great. All right, cuz, uh, this was a true pleasure today. Congrats to my New England Patriots. Congrats to me for the 10. Uh, thanks to Eduardo and Gahow as well. You can have the rewatchables tomorrow night. Jeremiah Johnson, we're doing that one. You got Task, Prestige TV Podcast. We've been covering that every week. Are you watching Task?

• 1:46:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I am. I'm way behind, though.

• 1:46:03Bill Simmons?

  Task is good. Uh, and then my wife and I watched the first three episodes of the Ed Gein Netflix thing. Uh, really disturbing, like almost too disturbing. Might not continue.

• 1:46:14Speaker 04

  Really? Oh, so maybe I don't have to add it to my queue.

• 1:46:17Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if you do. I'm, I'm on the fence.

• 1:46:19Speaker 04

  I got John Candy. I got all these other.

• 1:46:21Bill Simmons?

  John Candy's coming, yeah.

• 1:46:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, all right.

• 1:46:23Bill Simmons?

  That one's coming too. All right, so good job by you.

• 1:46:25Speaker 04

  Good job by you, buddy.

• 1:46:26Bill Simmons?

  Thanks, everybody.

• 1:46:41Bill Simmons?

  Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino, or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 888-797777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplineMA.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPENY in New York.

• 1:47:15Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, I like those guys, star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy Award winner Martin McDonagh. Writer-director of The Banshees of Inisherin and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Set in the 1970s, filmed on location on Easter Island, Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee, who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys. Parker Posey and Tom Waits. Wild Horse 9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment and easily one of the best films of the year. Don't miss Wild Horse 9, only in theaters November 6th. Get tickets now.

• 1:48:00Bill Simmons?

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