Josh Peck On Fame, Fatherhood, Becoming Sober & Finding Happiness EP 1261

Today's guest is Josh Peck, who has established himself as one of Hollywood's rising talents, making the seamless transition from child actor to leading man. Josh is best known for his role on the Nickelodeon phenomenon Drake & Josh (2004-2007) for which he received a Kids’ Choice Nomination. He’s starred in feature films such as Mean Creek (2004), The Wackness, Red Dawn(2012), and much more. You can next see Josh Peck in the highly anticipated Hulu series, How I Met Your Father, and in the iCarly Reboot on Paramount+. In this episode you will learn:How it felt for Josh to lose over 100 pounds. Why happy people are annoying. The biggest misconception of fame. How Josh was able to overcome addictions and become sober. What being a father has taught Josh. For more, go to www.lewishowes.com/1261Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds with David Goggins: https://link.chtbl.com/715-podScooter Braun on Healing Past Trauma: https://link.chtbl.com/1244-podEmmanuel Acho on Living a Life Without Limits: https://link.chtbl.com/1245-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  That was my dream and I was sort of doing that and I had my own show with my name in it. It's crazy. It's crazy. Like who gets that? And yet here I was also knowing that I was introducing myself to the world in a body that I wasn't quite comfortable in.

• 0:16Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:38Lewis Howes?

  You were a child acting phenom star and you're still acting and booking movies with all these famous people. But you also had some struggles as a kid as well, right? And you went through a weight loss journey in the middle of a show. Isn't that correct?

• 0:55Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 0:56Lewis Howes?

  You were filming a season for a TV show and you lost 100 pounds in one season. Does that work? Or over a couple of seasons?

• 1:04Speaker 00

  Maybe a season and a half. About two years.

• 1:06Lewis Howes?

  Two years, 100 pounds.

• 1:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08Lewis Howes?

  How old were you at this time?

• 1:09Speaker 00

  I was 17.

• 1:11Lewis Howes?

  17. What made you realize that you wanted to lose the weight? And was that a big challenge during a two-season process as a character to change that much?

• 1:25Speaker 00

  Well, I think what made me realize I wanted to lose weight was girls. Girls helped.

• 1:30Lewis Howes?

  Yes. Isn't that every young boy's motivation is like, "I want to learn this musical instrument. I want to do this. Lose weight for the girl."

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Oh, for sure.

• 1:38Lewis Howes?

  That was my life as a kid.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  It's like admonishing fathers and pretty girls have probably been the driving force behind a lot of men's greatness throughout their lives. I would imagine.

• 1:49Lewis Howes?

  Was it one specific girl or just the fact that like...

• 1:51Speaker 00

  It's the idea of like maybe being an actual teenager and going out on dates and going to parties. And because I was living sort of this dichotomy where I was getting to do this incredibly cool job, one that I was so lucky to have. And like I dreamed of being an actor doing this kind of comedy. Like at 16, it wasn't about being on SNL. It was about being on All That, which was like the kids' version of SNL on Nickelodeon. And that was my dream and I was sort of doing that. And I had my own show with my name in it.

• 2:22Lewis Howes?

  It's crazy.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  It's crazy. Like, who gets that? And yet, here I was, also, knowing that I was introducing myself to the world in a body that I wasn't quite comfortable in. And that people tend to marry themselves to the first image that they fall in love with. Like, Steve Carell is one of our greatest actors, right? But for many, he'll always be Michael Scott from The Office. And that's, that's great, because The Office is so beloved. But I knew that I had my work cut out for me. And I knew that I was holding myself back in certain ways. And that food and body had sort of been a menacing force to my family. And that if I just continued to wait, that I had sort of missed out on my teenage years,

• 3:05Speaker 00

  and I would miss out on my college years and more if I didn't get this thing under control.

• 3:10Lewis Howes?

  What was the driving cause for you gaining the weight or using food as, you know, a soothing strategy?

• 3:18Speaker 00

  You know, your guess is as good as mine. I would imagine there, you know, food is delicious. There was probably some epigenetics there. I was inheriting some, like, transgenerational trauma, because I come from sort of a family of bigger people. And so it was obviously a coping mechanism before I actually got to, like, enter the world for people who came before me. And then, you know, it was like my first foray into overindulging in something, which gave me sort of a numbing effect, which kind of turned my insecurities down and kept those voices at bay. The ones that woke up a few minutes before I did every morning that told me why I'd never be enough and why things weren't going to work out.

• 3:58Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 3:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:00Lewis Howes?

  Why did you feel like you would never be enough?

• 4:02Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 4:03Lewis Howes?

  You had your name on a TV show, you're getting, you know...

• 4:06Speaker 00

  But this was far back. I mean, this is as far back as I have memories of, like, seven years old, feeling terminally unique, when I probably should have only been worried about Power Rangers.

• 4:16Lewis Howes?

  Right, like, G.I. Joe or something, yeah.

• 4:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm like contemplating the abyss. Like, when I talk about, you know, how eventually, as I got older and it sort of shifted after I lost weight into sort of drugs and alcohol, I was like, if you saw me at eight or nine years old, sort of... Painfully insecure, hyper worried about what you thought and you know what my place was in the world. You would have been like, get that kid a drink. He needs to cool out a little bit. But I found that at the bottom of a gusher's box or a fruit by the foot. Pretty much any fruit snack.

• 4:46Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Was there a, was there a big wound that was, you know, you were trying to numb out or was there something?

• 4:54Speaker 00

  I.

• 4:55Lewis Howes?

  Out of the ordinary?

• 4:56Speaker 00

  I didn't know my dad. I, I, my dad wasn't in my life. I never met my pops. And so I imagine that maybe set the stage.

• 5:03Lewis Howes?

  Um. Yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  In some respect and then also, you know, my mom is the greatest and as many single moms have to sort of contend with. She had to provide for us and, and I think there was a lot of financial insecurity growing up.

• 5:20Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  And, and then, you know, at eight or nine years old, I was so lucky to have this talent and sort of like this proclivity for musical theater and singing and dancing and all these things. But at nine, there's not a lot of social currency to that. It's not dope.

• 5:38Lewis Howes?

  Maybe it is today with like shows like Glee and other things that have kind of made it more mainstream, I guess. But back then, we grew up in the eighties and nineties. It wasn't cool.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  Nah, it's not. If you can't hit a ball, you're not crushing it.

• 5:50Lewis Howes?

  I was in choir and I remember feeling like worried that people saw that I was in choir.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  Really?

• 5:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Speaker 00

  Were you doing that in addition to athletics?

• 5:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I was, yeah, I was playing sports, but my dad insisted that I did the choir because he was in opera.

• 6:04Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 6:05Lewis Howes?

  He and my mom met singing opera at Ohio State in like opera class or whatever it was. Yeah.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  And was he too an athlete?

• 6:13Lewis Howes?

  He wa- wanted to be an athlete. He, he was a musician. He was a singer, played classical piano and sang. Incredible voice, but he also played sports in high school, but he was never good enough to, I think, play in college.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  So your dad is me and you're like, what, what I do to my son, which is like, stop it. We're gonna, you're going for the sports, right? And then like, but if he ever gets like super adept, I'm gonna be like, but learn the piano.

• 6:39Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. I wish. My dad sent me to one piano lesson and I kicked in, screamed and I never went back. I wish I would have learned a musical instrument then.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:49Lewis Howes?

  Wish, man.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  It's the ultimate thing.

• 6:51Lewis Howes?

  How many instruments do you play?

• 6:52Speaker 00

  I play piano. I I mean, I'm not like, I'm I can I can sound really good for five or 10 minutes. And then you'll start to see sort of holes in my development as a musician. But, um, yeah, I mean, you don't ever want to be the guy who's like, oh, there happens to be guitar here.

• 7:07Lewis Howes?

  Oh, right.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  But it is like if you're around like a nice bonfire.

• 7:11Lewis Howes?

  It's powerful, man.

• 7:12Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh, it's it's.

• 7:13Lewis Howes?

  That skill can bring people together.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  Like comedy, which I learned at an early age, but being a great musician, it's it's like a magic trick.

• 7:22Lewis Howes?

  Magic.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  And when you can do it well, people just want to see it again.

• 7:26Lewis Howes?

  Over and over, man.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 7:27Lewis Howes?

  And it creates moments, it creates memories.

• 7:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:29Lewis Howes?

  It creates magic, like you said. And I think when we can develop those skills, you know, for me and and as an early teen, it was like I need to become great at sports because I didn't have any other skills. I wasn't good in school. I didn't have the musical talent yet. Um, and sports was the way to get the girl. But yours was losing weight, it sounds like. You had the the comedy and the acting.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 7:54Lewis Howes?

  Was that attracting you, what you wanted in kind of relationships or with attention from girls at that point?

• 8:00Speaker 00

  Maybe, but I I I do remember one thing specifically. I don't know why this sticks out that there was like this girl who was like totally adorable and we were 15 and she just was like like now in hindsight, I'm like, she was giving you all the signs, Peck, you were blind, like, but I I was so wrapped up in self and insecurity that I was just like, who's this nice girl who always texts me or like, who's this nice girl who always offers me a ride home with her? You know, from her mom when when, you know, we're we're we're done hanging out at the mall with our group of friends and, um, yeah, I was totally oblivious.

• 8:35Lewis Howes?

  You didn't see the sign, yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 00

  No.

• 8:37Lewis Howes?

  Now, so you were, what, 15 to 17 when you did the show?

• 8:41Speaker 00

  Uh, I was 14 to 19.

• 8:43Lewis Howes?

  14 to 19 when you did the show? With your name in it, which is crazy on Nickelodeon, is that right?

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 8:48Lewis Howes?

  Yes. And on a scale of one to 10, 10 being the happiest, most secure human you could have been, like self-love, all those things out of 10, one being you hated yourself. Where were you on that scale when you had your own show? With your own name on it, on, I guess, the biggest kids' network that there was at the time? Where were you on that scale?

• 9:10Speaker 00

  Oh, I I mean. It depends on the day, right? Like, there were moments where I felt pretty content. I, you know, I didn't love being so overweight, but otherwise, like, my life was really full. And despite sort of the challenges and the things that I've gone through, like, I've had some very baseline, like, human needs very much taken care of. My mom always gave me a deep sense of, like, love and decency and security. Even when we were, like, super financially secure, there'd be moments where we would, you know, we wouldn't know where we were sleeping that night. And yet, like, I knew, I was like, well, mom will figure it out, like, because she always does.

• 9:52Speaker 00

  So there were certainly, like, moments, snapshots throughout that time, where if you asked me then, I'd be like, I'm at a one. Like, I feel utterly hopeless and uncomfortable in this moment. But it was, but I think you have to sort of like, if I'm looking at it now, from my thirty-five-year-old mind, if I look at the factors at bay, it was like, it was probably, it was, um, I don't want to say it was, like, shallow or artificial. It just was like, I don't know. I think you could look at a lot of teenagers and who have a very middle-class, very, you know, traditional family structure, that in any, at any given moment, if you zoomed in on their life,

• 10:36Speaker 00

  they'd be like, yeah, the world's ending, duh.

• 10:38Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  Like, I got a crappy grade, or she doesn't like me.

• 10:41Lewis Howes?

  All teenagers, yeah.

• 10:41Speaker 00

  Or, my mom won't let me have these dope jeans. I don't know, I don't know what's cool now. But like, so, but yeah, I think there were certainly moments. But overall, like, I don't think I was, like, plagued by this and, like, trauma. Like, I, I lived a nice life, I just had these challenges.

• 10:56Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:57Lewis Howes?

  What would you say you're at now, from one to ten?

• 11:00Speaker 00

  I mean, the goal for me in life is five. I try not to get too high or too low. You know what I'm saying?

• 11:07Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  I don't wanna.

• 11:09Lewis Howes?

  Ten meaning not like you're too high, but more like you have inner peace. You you love yourself fully, you accept yourself. You're not shaming and like putting yourself down.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  Uh, depends on the day.

• 11:20Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 11:20Speaker 00

  Where are you at right now? May I?

• 11:22Lewis Howes?

  Sure, of course, you can ask me anything. Man, I'm always, I'm always a, there's room for growth type of person. But I truly feel I'm at a eight point three to eight point five range pretty consistently. Especially in the last year, but I've also, like I've talked about on my show here, I've been doing every other week, deep emotional accountability therapy work.

• 11:47Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 11:48Lewis Howes?

  With someone who supports me,

• 11:51Lewis Howes?

  navigating the emotions of life, the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions of life. And allowing me to go back in time and heal any wounds that are yet to be healed. And that has given me more inner peace consistently. It doesn't mean there's not moments where I'm frustrated when something doesn't go well, or I might be triggered by something here or there. But pretty consistently, it feels more of like a eight range, where it used to be like a four or five, up and down, some days eight, some days four or five, but now it's more consistently in the higher range.

• 12:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:27Lewis Howes?

  I think it's because I'm willing to consistently do the emotional accountability work. And things are just really good in my life right now. But I say that also with my dad passing two months ago.

• 12:38Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 12:39Lewis Howes?

  And I had deep sadness and grief, but I still felt like in this, in the, the weight of everything happening. There's a lot of stuff that happened during that time. And COVID and all these other things, I feel like I'm able to keep my inner world at around an eight. And I think that's all we can control, as our friend Ryan Holiday says, where he talks about stoicism all day long. The Stoics talked about it's not what happens, it's how you respond to what happens. And so it's in a constant emotional accountability of responding moment by moment, which makes me feel like I'm more in the eight range, which means I still have room to prove and grow and doesn't mean tomorrow to get me off track potentially,

• 13:22Lewis Howes?

  but it's the consistency which has supported me, so.

• 13:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, my buddy always says like your life should be like the stock market and that if on any given day it could have fallen a thousand points or it could be skyrocketing. But if you look at it trending over time, it trends up. And I would certainly say that that's that's been my life for the last, you know, 15 years.

• 13:45Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  And and isn't it interesting too, to your point about like your reaction to things? How like so, and I think Ryan Holiday talks about this as well, is how little of a reaction is necessary for most things?

• 14:01Lewis Howes?

  Another friend of mine talks about everything in life is a neutral event.

• 14:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:06Lewis Howes?

  Things are happening, it's neutral, it's how we interpret the event is based on whether we give it a lot of value or weight or stress or pleasure. You know, it's our interpretation of the moment. I'm curious, when you had this, you know, big success kind of into fame in your teen years with this show, how did you manage your mindset with the early success? Where we see in the news kind of the younger actors who are rising to fame, kind of had these breaking moments throughout history is what it seems like. How did you manage your mindset when all this success, money and awareness about who you were came to light?

• 14:50Speaker 00

  Well, I think especially as it applies to sort of Drake and Josh, which was sort of the impetus of that, I um. The silver lining to be overweight was that I never got to impress with myself. So it was like constantly reminding me that yes, you get to do this very interesting, unique job. And yes, people are giving you a lot of compliments and you're you're getting so much more sort of prestige and reinforcement than one human should ever have. And yet, because I was constantly sort of being ego-deflated by how I wasn't enough.

• 15:25Lewis Howes?

  Looking in the mirror and seeing something you weren't happy with at the time.

• 15:29Speaker 00

  Totally. So it was like I I never got to impress with myself luckily.

• 15:35Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's good.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  In addition to like, look, for every, you know, Zendaya or even Shia LaBeouf, there are thousands of kids who perpetuate that sort of, I don't even want to call it a stereotype because it's it's very true in many ways, right? We see these child actors who sort of have this crest and this apex moment. And then inevitably, like for many of them, they crash and burn. And so I knew that informed the collective opinion. And I didn't want that to be me.

• 16:03Lewis Howes?

  You were aware of this at that time, when you were a teenager?

• 16:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was certainly aware of the stereotype, especially coming off of a kid's show, right? This is pre-social media. So you weren't on, you know, if you're a kid on Stranger Things and it premieres Friday night, by Monday morning, you have 20 million followers on Instagram.

• 16:22Lewis Howes?

  Crazy, overnight.

• 16:23Speaker 00

  Overnight. And now, whether the show is, you know, goes 10 seasons or not, you have these followers you can bring with you to your next project. Or you can sell them something, or they're behind you. But you didn't have that in 2006.

• 16:37Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 16:38Speaker 00

  So the moment the show was over, not only were you also facing a lot of like, sort of preconceived notions of who kid stars were, but you didn't have that sort of value property that would sort of travel with you.

• 16:55Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. So how did you, how did you navigate that? Where did your value, was it based on landing the next gig then, I guess?

• 17:02Speaker 00

  Totally. And, you know, in kids TV, like, there's no residuals. And I talk about it in the book and I only talk about it to sort of create what is, I think, A misperception, you could say, about kids' shows during that time, which was like, we were making over five years about, you know, a hundred thousand bucks a year.

• 17:21Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:21Speaker 00

  Like, all said and done. Now, it's like a really great middle-class lifestyle, and I'm not complaining. I'm just saying that you're certainly not set for life. You wouldn't expect that of anyone, that they could just quit tomorrow if they made a hundred grand a year and not have to work for the next fifty.

• 17:35Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 17:36Speaker 00

  But I think because of that sort of, you know, collective misnomer, there was this idea that if you were nineteen and you did a show like that, and then maybe you went on to do something else, or maybe you just did something to pay your rent, that you were failing. Like, people would think, "What, did you blow all the money? Would you make a mistake? Why are you doing this? You're set." But I knew that it was time to get to work, 'cause I had this mom who supported me, and I knew in my heart I wanted to be able to take care of the family. And I also knew that the thing that, at eight years old, that saved me from myself, from my thoughts, from my circumstance, was TV.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  It was The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and Ace Ventura, and Billy Madison, and these characters that were my friends. I talk about how, you know, I kept the TV on at night so that the room would never get dark. It was my teacher, my babysitter. Becoming an actor feels like someone going to work for the hospital that cured their cancer. You know, like, I feel indebted to the business. It's a thing that I've loved. Before, I was worried about paying my bills, or what you thought of me. I just did it for fun. And so, it's a thing that's driven me my whole life. And I know how lucky I am to have that now, 'cause not everyone is that clear.

• 18:55Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 18:56Speaker 00

  About it.

• 18:56Lewis Howes?

  So, when did you understand the power of social media? And since you didn't have it with these kind of earlier shows that you were on, when did you start to realize, like, "Oh, having a show or being in a movie is helping me build this following now." And there's this other element to the industry, which is social media?

• 19:18Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, it was 2013, and I...

• 19:23Speaker 00

  You know, I was lucky to sort of, I mean, we've been alive during the renaissance of social, or it's not a renaissance, a creation of social media, right? And how many different sort of advertising avenues have there been over the last 500 years? Like, it was print, and then radio, and then TV movies.

• 19:42Lewis Howes?

  Billboards, and then, yeah.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, and now it's, you know, it's the internet and social media, but that's like six over 500 years, and we're alive during the beginning of it. And so I was 24, 25, and there was this app called Vine, which, R.I.P., miss it. It's the best.

• 20:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:02Speaker 00

  Nine million followers, gone.

• 20:04Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man, that's tough. Who cares about nine million followers, right?

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Comes and goes, you get it.

• 20:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it doesn't matter, yeah.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  I know you know.

• 20:10Lewis Howes?

  Nine million followers, yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 00

  School of Greatness.

• 20:13Lewis Howes?

  So nine million followers, so you were like an OG on Vine, you and Logan Paul and a few of those people?

• 20:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I benefited from that it was, it had just started, right? So the algorithm was sort of, it was in the fashion in which it was at that time, which was like, it really rewarded you for consistency.

• 20:32Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 20:33Speaker 00

  And my friend who works at Instagram always tells me, like, "We only win if you create. We don't win if a post does poorly for you. We don't want you to do badly." Like, our social media, the entire industry, works if you keep giving us stuff to post. And so, so I'm a big fan of Vine, and my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, goes, "Why don't you make a video? Just try it." And make one, and then make a couple more, and suddenly I have a couple thousand followers. Then over the next few months, I have a couple hundred thousand. And I was, I remember I was at this inflection point where I knew that I could really lean into this thing, or I could, like, let off the gas and people would forget that I ever did it.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  And I got a call from my agent and manager at that time, and they were sort of like, "What are you doing?"

• 21:21Lewis Howes?

  Like, in a good sense? This is cool, or why are you doing this thing? This is like hurting you in the industry?

• 21:28Speaker 00

  Sure. I mean, I think they were worried about the optics, because, remember, this is 2013, so The Rock doesn't have 300 million followers, and Kevin Hart and Jack Black and all these, like, A-list people, they're not on social yet. And I remember specifically like them saying, you know, we're trying to make you not just the goofy guy from Drake and Josh. We want to make you a leading man. Do you think this hurts us? You making like silly videos on your phone.

• 21:54Lewis Howes?

  Six-second video clips, yeah.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. And luckily, I had like a real apostle at that time, my buddy Rami, who worked in social media early on. And he said to me, let me tell you something. Don't let anyone tell you they know what this is. Cause even I don't know, and I work in it. He's like, but being able to go directly to your followers, having hundreds of thousands of people who are telling you what they like, what they don't like, and everything in between, that's powerful.

• 22:22Lewis Howes?

  Powerful.

• 22:22Speaker 00

  So do this. Do it every day. And up until this point, I had always been at the mercy of the gatekeepers, you know? Five people had to sign off for me to get a job. A casting director, producer, an executive, a director, all these people. And this was the first time in my life that I didn't have to ask permission. And I think that was why I was so sort of enchanted by this idea of like going directly. Like I felt empowered. Like finally, I don't have to ask anyone's permission. And then inevitably, a year later, when, you know, branded posts started happening, and these Fortune 500 companies start sort of flocking to social media, I was like, oh,

• 23:03Speaker 00

  this is a whole different level of security that I can accrue from just doing this thing that I've always done. I just can't have an ego about the way in which I do it.

• 23:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow. That's powerful. So was there a moment, so did you build the following from just being consistent on the platforms? Or did you start to notice, oh, I'm getting a big influx when I'm doing a show or a movie or something's happening in the industry as well?

• 23:32Speaker 00

  I found that the greatest thing was collaboration. And so Vine had sort of taught me early on, I mean, and these were kids who, you know, these weren't people who, who were coming out of the industry. They were, you know, college graduates. They were kids from their hometown, not from coastal cities, from, you know, from Toronto and, and from, you know, Logan Paul's from Ohio, like shout out Ohio.

• 23:55Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 23:55Speaker 00

  You know, like, I mean, you know, Mr. Beast is from North Carolina, like, they didn't have to be in a coastal city. They didn't need a manager, an agent. They didn't need any nepotism, but they all moved out here because they had found their own followings. And I leaned in and I didn't have an ego about like, well, I've done some stuff, you know, or I had a show with my name in it because I was like, for what? Like, these kids are making something that really is connecting with an audience. And I remember we would all get together. A lot of the guys on Vine moved to this building.

• 24:27Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 24:28Speaker 00

  Sixteen hundred Vine.

• 24:29Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. And we would sit there.

• 24:32Lewis Howes?

  So you lived in there?

• 24:33Speaker 00

  I didn't live there, but I, um...

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  You'd go there and collaborate?

• 24:37Speaker 00

  I would collaborate and I just enjoyed creating. And, you know, I know a lot of people who got into the business where it's revealed over time that they like liked acting, but they really were in it for the billboard.

• 24:50Lewis Howes?

  Right. For the fame, for the accomplishments, the notoriety.

• 24:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, the red carpet, you know? But like, I'm a, I'm a drama geek.

• 24:59Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  And, and so this idea of, we got to all sit around and come up with an idea, and then we'd pitch jokes, we'd top each other, we'd shoot it, and then we'd go on to the next person's video, felt better than sitting in my apartment, questioning my, my value on this earth and wondering why my agent hasn't sent me an audition in two weeks.

• 25:23Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  And that's why I really leaned in. It just felt warm. It felt like a warm place.

• 25:28Lewis Howes?

  Cause it seems like there's, like you mentioned the Stranger Things crew. It's like they were nobodies and then that next week they all had like six million followers, right?

• 25:37Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 25:38Lewis Howes?

  Without creating content on social.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 25:40Lewis Howes?

  So some people that build followings because they have a project that is known to the world, and then they draw that project, those followings over to their social. But you were known to the world, but you said, I'm just gonna create this and build it from the platform.

• 25:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, you make a great point. I think certainly if you can, you know, there are a few things a year like a Stranger Things that really triggers the zeitgeist. And I think also, you know, kids at that age are on social media, so it's not far-fetched why they would get this huge following out of nowhere. Or if you have like great abs, you get it. I don't.

• 26:16Lewis Howes?

  Right, yeah. I don't have, I actually don't have abs. I don't think I've ever had abs.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Really?

• 26:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, they're semi-there, you know, but have never been like shredded.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  Come on, you need one good stomach flu. You know what I mean?

• 26:27Lewis Howes?

  Just give it a 15 pounds and get it out, yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 00

  It's gonna be washboard. But I, you know, so certainly there are those acts or like, um, just people that are very much sort of in the zeitgeist, they're in...

• 26:39Lewis Howes?

  The cultural.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, pop culture. But for me, I was sort of more creator-focused. I was like, I... And I was lucky because I came from a super, you know, broad comedic background that in some ways hurt me when I would try to go do more legitimate things or things that weren't that sticky and big.

• 26:57Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 26:58Speaker 00

  But in creating a six-second video, it was sort of the perfect formula. So I felt like I had had good training to be effective in that format.

• 27:06Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:07Lewis Howes?

  You mentioned also about how, you know, food was something that, you know, I'd say you were, I guess, addicted to or indulged in.

• 27:13Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:14Lewis Howes?

  Uh, and had an unhealthy relationship with, let's say, for a period of time. But then, you lost the weight, and then you also talked about different drugs, alcohol, isn't that right? That you leaned into some of the other substances, let's say, non-food substances? Where do you feel like you're at now with food, substances, alcohol, and everything else? And how did you learn to get to a healthier place with all substances?

• 27:44Speaker 00

  Well, um, you know, I'm 14 years sober, luckily, and it's, it works really well for a guy like me. Sort of abstinence from, you know, drugs and alcohol or anything like that. I do drink caffeine.

• 27:58Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 27:59Speaker 00

  Um, uh, but I, uh...

• 28:03Speaker 00

  I think, you know, the food thing is very interesting. I feel really lucky in that, you know, I've seen my mom, I've sort of had a front row seat to people really struggle with, you know, if your thing is food or sex or things that in theory, I mean food certainly, but sex as well, like that is part of the human existence that you need. It's, I imagine that is such a challenging thing to face, right? Cause you're dosing out a little bit of this thing that can be pretty, um, you know, um, haunting in the, in the wrong dosages.

• 28:39Speaker 00

  But for me, so I was able to sort of like completely abstain from those major things. And then the food thing is the thing that I'm just thoughtful about. It's reassuring to know that, I don't know if anyone isn't thinking about food. I think there's a very small percentage, but especially the people that are in incredible shape. I think they're probably thinking about it more than anyone wants to.

• 28:57Lewis Howes?

  Obsessing about it, yeah.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  Everyone is. Everyone's worried about it. And so I just, I rarely wake up in the morning in the mood for a salad, but I've had enough data to support that if I eat that salad, I'll feel better than a lot of other things. And then sometimes I blackout and eat like a bunch of White Castle hamburgers.

• 29:15Lewis Howes?

  Oh man, those are good.

• 29:16Speaker 00

  Wake up, I mean, you're from Ohio.

• 29:18Lewis Howes?

  Ohio, man, White Castle. Wendy's in White Castle.

• 29:21Speaker 00

  It's a good life. Sometimes you gotta do that. I do it constantly.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  But also, you know, I fell in love with working out and being active and just like the endorphins that come from, you know, getting those sort of good chemicals going.

• 29:34Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 29:34Speaker 00

  So I'm able to sort of even it out, but you know, you might find me in a, at the wrong time.

• 29:40Lewis Howes?

  You never know, six White Castle hamburgers.

• 29:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, Baskin Robbins.

• 29:44Lewis Howes?

  Oh man.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  You're like, Josh, good to see you. I'm like, I'll act like we never met. Please, don't talk to me.

• 29:49Lewis Howes?

  I'm just eating my ice cream, yes.

• 29:50Speaker 00

  Let me have this moment.

• 29:53Lewis Howes?

  How is, um, what is the biggest misconception about fame you feel like people have? And what is the difference between TV slash movie fame and social media fame?

• 30:05Speaker 00

  I think the difference between social media and traditional TV and movie fame, the difference is becoming more and more slight. Like, and I think by the time my son is a teenager, he's three now, I don't know if there will be a separation. Because inevitably, I'm not sure that the people that he watches on my iPad are any different than if we go watch, you know, a movie in the theater.

• 30:29Lewis Howes?

  He might think Mr. Beast is more famous than, you know, Jim Carrey or something, you know, based on, he, you know, he's probably gonna be watching an iPad or an iPhone more than a big screen. Where when we grew up, it was like going to the big screen was a big deal.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  It was such an event.

• 30:47Lewis Howes?

  And they were big stars, but now you see, you know, Mr. Beast or, I don't know, a Darman video with these, you know, younger actors in his videos, you might think they, you're more connected to what you're seeing consistently, right?

• 31:01Speaker 00

  Totally. And I think too, like, the way we saw with TV shows, you know, when you let someone into your home and you watch something with your family, like, it's a very special relationship. And I think now with social media, having access to these people that you love.

• 31:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, nonstop.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're invested in their life. And I think you're so much more inclined to buy their thing. Because you're like, I wanna support them. Or I know, like, I have a shorthand with them and they wouldn't lead me astray. I mean, you have to be careful, right? Like, the things that you do sell them have to be valued.

• 31:34Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 31:35Speaker 00

  You'll lose that quickly if you steer your audience wrong. But yeah, I think that's, it's very true.

• 31:42Lewis Howes?

  How have you managed it yourself? Like, the idea of fame over the last, I guess, fifteen, twenty years?

• 31:49Speaker 00

  Uh, I'm not... Listen, this is when I really like fame. Really like it. I do these college gigs where I go and I, um, I'll go speak at some college and recently I was at Bryant University in Rhode Island and listen, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna hide it. I stay in a Marriott Courtyard. Nice.

• 32:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:08Speaker 00

  You know?

• 32:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  And a lot of these places, you know, I wanna maximize time with my son, so I take the red eye in. You know, you get in, you know, you do so much speaking stuff, you get in at eight AM, nine AM. And you're like, what am I gonna do? You know, I'm gonna, I'm tired and you wanna go crash at the hotel, check in's not till two. So I go to the Marriott Courtyard. And if I see the, and it's like ten AM, maybe eleven now.

• 32:32Lewis Howes?

  And get that free breakfast over there, the Continental, man.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  Are you kidding me? Make your own waffle?

• 32:36Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  Where else you gonna do that? But if I see that the person behind the desk recognizes me, I go, I'm checking in early.

• 32:42Lewis Howes?

  Uh, yeah.

• 32:43Speaker 00

  That's what I like. That's about it.

• 32:46Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 32:47Speaker 00

  No, I mean, yeah, I don't know, I don't implicitly think about it a lot. Um, except in where can I be useful? You know, writing this book, right, like, I wanted it to be a self-help book hiding as a memoir. And I realized that I love a good self-help book. And by that, I mean, I don't read them, but I put them on my bookshelf.

• 33:06Lewis Howes?

  Of course, yeah, you buy them, yeah.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  I want you to think I read them. And, uh, and sometimes I feel like self-help books or even memoirs can be written by people who feel like they're at the finish line. And the people who have summited the peak. And so it can be hard to relate. But for me, I was like, wow, a lot of people grew up watching my show. And if I was saying to them, that time when you were watching me, where maybe you were assuming everything was perfect. I was actually going through this.

• 33:34Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 33:34Speaker 00

  That's special. So to me, it's like, okay, if I have this, you know, specific thing that's unique to me. How can I sort of help people in a way and, and use that to, to their benefit? Ideally, while enjoying the spoils of getting a check-in at the Marriott Courtyard early.

• 33:52Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Why are happy people annoying to you?

• 33:58Speaker 00

  Well, I think I, I made a snap judgment for a lot of my life, thinking that happy was this thing that was inherited. By attractive people, the generationally wealthy.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  Arena football.

• 34:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I was making two hundred fifty bucks a week playing arena football. Watch out, watch out.

• 34:14Speaker 00

  Yo, how much smaller is the field in arena football?

• 34:17Lewis Howes?

  Half the size, yeah, it's fifty yards and about twenty-five wide.

• 34:21Speaker 00

  But the athleticism is insane and also it's violent.

• 34:25Lewis Howes?

  Extremely violent. I mean, you're playing on like concrete essentially with a little slab of carpet. You're getting hit by either a wall or the concrete every play or another human being within no space to run around. So they're just smashing into you.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  So I played a quarterback in this movie Red Dawn, the remake of Red Dawn. Okay, it's one I'm pretty proud of.

• 34:43Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 34:44Speaker 00

  I'm not. And no, it could have been better. I'm sorry. It's a good movie. I wish I was better. And I'm playing, you know, I'm twenty-one and I'm playing this this quarterback. So I go to football camp for two weeks.

• 34:55Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  And with a lot of former arena football guy or current arena football players, some college athletes, and they were so lovely. And I remember we're gonna show some plays to the producers, right? Like this is what we've set up for a couple of the different takes in the movie. And I line up behind my center, a guy named Reggie, who I'd been with for a week and a half. He was about three hundred plus pound, black guy, the best.

• 35:23Lewis Howes?

  Like a real center in life, yeah.

• 35:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, total center. And I yell hut and then I realized that I'm never behind a two hundred and twenty pound white guy named Mike. I lined up behind the wrong guy.

• 35:37Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  On the first play, in front of the director, in front of the producers.

• 35:41Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 35:42Speaker 00

  And I just was like, I've, I've, I.

• 35:45Lewis Howes?

  I give up. I give up with this role.

• 35:47Speaker 00

  I'll never, I'll never be enough.

• 35:49Lewis Howes?

  And your brother-in-law's a quarterback, right?

• 35:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, my brother-in-law played for Fresno State and my father-in-law played for the Jets.

• 35:56Lewis Howes?

  But you didn't know them then.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  No, thank God.

• 35:58Lewis Howes?

  That would have been good to get the training, though.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  I think they've seen the movie. They don't bring it up at Thanksgiving. Thank God.

• 36:03Lewis Howes?

  That's good. Something you mentioned beforehand, which I thought was really inspiring, is that you've had this career as an actor very consistently since you were in your teens. You've built, I don't know, thirty-plus million followers on social media, you speak, you've got the book now. What I heard you say before, which I think is really inspiring, is that your next chapter, you wanted to be about impacting people in service. That's what I heard you say before we jumped on the camera. Why is that something that excites you at this stage of your life? You know, being of service in a bigger way.

• 36:37Speaker 00

  I just think, I think I sort of know, I guess, I've heard it said before, like, there's no true altruism, because when you're doing something for someone else. Did you say that? You came up?

• 36:49Lewis Howes?

  No, I was just pointing back to yourself as it always makes you feel better.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 36:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's why I was pointing at me, saying, it makes you feel better, yeah.

• 36:57Speaker 00

  I'll give you credit for it.

• 36:58Lewis Howes?

  No, no, no, no.

• 37:00Speaker 00

  But yeah, there's no true altruism, just because it's this idea of like, you're instantly repaid the moment you do it, especially if you don't get caught doing it. And try to do good things for other people and don't get caught doing it, I've heard. So, yeah, like, whether I believe it really deeply in my soul, which I believe I do, but I also know, like, it's kind of like the only free high in life. And it's the only way for me to pay back how utterly overpaid I am in my life. And, you know, again, like, throughout my life, and when we've, even when we talk today, when people say like, what are your next goals? Or what's the rest of the year looking like, or the next five years? It's like, you know, when I interviewed Neil Brennan for my podcast, Male Models,

• 37:42Speaker 00

  I interviewed him, and he's a brilliant comedian, helped create The Chappelle Show, and I'll never forget what he said. He's like, you know, you'll probably get what you always wanted, just not in the ways you were expecting it. And then he said, actually, you'll probably get what you always wanted, but by the time you get it, you won't want it anymore. And I found that to be incredibly true. And so, everything in my life, I could not have sort of expected it or set it up in the game plan, but it's been exactly what I needed at the right time. And I think that me using all of this goodwill that I've accrued to sort of help people is sort of like the only, it's the only thing to do.

• 38:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's the thing you got that you really wanted that you realized when you got it wasn't that, wasn't all that after all?

• 38:29Speaker 00

  Oh, man, that's such a great question.

• 38:31Lewis Howes?

  Is it landing some big show or getting, you know, some award or something that you thought was going to change the way you felt about yourself or give you something that you didn't have?

• 38:43Speaker 00

  I think there's, look, I went through years of really struggling. I was having a great sort of part of my life in social media and speaking gigs and writing this book for three years. And then, but I was not really working as an actor and that was so ego-deflating.

• 38:59Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 39:00Speaker 00

  It was this thing that I'd done since I was nine and I'm like, and I'm, I'm dealing with this idea of like, but I, I'm taken care of and I feel like ungrateful to be pissed, but and yet like there's this thing that I, my identity's wrapped up in it and if I am not this, then what am I? And, you know, I would audition, I would get close to certain things. So I'm like, okay, like I'm in the ballpark, but it just wasn't connecting. And then I finally, once I had sort of let it all go, right? Which people had told me my whole life, but it was like the destination without the directions, which was like, oh, when you stop caring, that's when you book the big job. I was like, well, that sounds great, but that's like a bumper sticker.

• 39:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  How do I do it? But I had to like really face that thing of like, can I be okay without the things that I thought would make me all better? Like, can I allow a good life to be the result of good living instead of like, but I need these trophies. I swear to God, once I get this award, I'll be fine. Or once I have X in my bank account, then I'll be okay. I had to be okay with like, I have a wife, I have a kid, I can pay my bills, like. I feel like I'm a good man, like I gotta be okay with that and the rest has to be icing. So I got a really great job. I became the lead in this Disney Plus TV show called Turner and Hooch, which is very canceled, but it was very good for the time we made it and I loved doing it.

• 40:25Speaker 00

  But even in that moment, you know, I'm standing on set and I'm like, I miss my kid. You know, and I was like, if you had flashed forward or flashed back six months ago, I would have been like, to be the lead of some big fancy show would be the only thing I'd want in the world. And it, I loved every second of it and I would have loved to keep doing it. But certainly in those moments, I'm like, well, there's always something. You know, you're always sort of, you're never all better.

• 40:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's interesting, man. That's good perspective. Speaking of your kid, how old is your kid?

• 40:57Speaker 00

  He's three.

• 40:57Lewis Howes?

  Three years old. What has been the biggest lesson of fatherhood so far for you?

• 41:04Speaker 00

  Oh, boy. I think it's much like we were chatting, I'm not sure whether we were chatting on camera about it or it was before we were rolling, but like, lack of reaction and how much that will serve me.

• 41:18Lewis Howes?

  Not reacting to things?

• 41:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:20Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 41:21Speaker 00

  Because so much goes on in a given day with my three-year-old son. And I would, I would venture to guess most three-year-olds where you are so overwhelmed by this like joy and meaning and value as a human being. And then you feel utterly frustrated and hopeless because like, why doesn't this kid listen to me? Like, and you're like, oh yeah, he's three. It would be ridiculous if he like bent to my will.

• 41:48Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  He's figuring out his place on this earth too and he's pushing limits and trying things. And, and you know, and I've learned that from my wife, really. Like, I always imagined that I would like puff up on my kid and be like, here are the rules and we're gonna be like, and I'm gonna teach you how to be a man. When in reality, like, it's about me being non-reactive and just, you know, gentle, you know, giving him gentle guidance about what's right and what's not. And obviously you still have like your bottom lines, like, hey, we're not gonna act like this. And if we do, we're gonna go into a timeout. But there's no need to sort of be...

• 42:27Lewis Howes?

  Explode or react or something like that.

• 42:29Speaker 00

  And, and my wife leads by example in that way.

• 42:33Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful. What's the biggest lesson? Your father taught you by not being here?

• 42:40Speaker 00

  Um, you know, there was, uh, there was sort of two things about my dad that I realized. One was this idea of, in my twenties, I would sort of have these relationships. Throughout my teens, it was initially with men in my life, that I would turn men into these father figures without them knowing.

• 43:01Lewis Howes?

  Older, older male figures?

• 43:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, and these sort of covert contracts that I would make with men that they had no idea about.

• 43:09Lewis Howes?

  Just like TV executives or, or managers or agents or?

• 43:13Speaker 00

  The doorman of my building.

• 43:15Lewis Howes?

  Interesting, really?

• 43:16Speaker 00

  Random guys that if they were nice to me, or like, I just would put them on a pedestal and basically set them up to disappoint me.

• 43:26Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 43:26Speaker 00

  And then, and it would just breed resentment.

• 43:28Lewis Howes?

  Ah.

• 43:29Speaker 00

  And then, and then eventually with women in my life, what I found was, you know, I'd get into these relationships and like, you know, these are typical of the relationships you have in your early twenties. Like, it wasn't these super long-term things, but, you know, I would be dating someone and then there would be a natural conflict as is just natural in relationships, especially early on. And I would just, um, I would just head for the hills.

• 43:58Lewis Howes?

  Oh, right.

• 43:58Speaker 00

  Cause I wanted to, what I didn't know was that I was sort of perpetuating the bad behavior of my dad. Um, because what I was doing was I was saying, listen, he left. So obviously, nothing is forever, right? Like, if fifty percent of your parental system can leave, well then, you know, there's a chance no one will stick around ever. So, I'm, I'm okay, and actually, I'm gonna prove to you how okay I am by leaving first. Right, so?

• 44:30Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  And like, she would be left going like, we were literally like, fighting over, you know,

• 44:35Lewis Howes?

  Nothing, yeah.

• 44:35Speaker 00

  What we were gonna order, takeout, for takeout, like.

• 44:38Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  It would just be these like little triggers that, instead of being like, oh, these are the natural conflicts that if you walk through as a couple, you become closer.

• 44:48Lewis Howes?

  When did you realize that was a thing? And how did you learn to shift that energy from leaving to, "Okay, let me have the uncomfortable conversation and figure out a solution."

• 45:01Speaker 00

  I think it was, you know, I think it all sort of stemmed from recovery and getting sober and being aware of like the work, like you'll never know what the thing is that wakes you up to this idea of life is constant inner work, right? And you talked about it early on, like you're doing your therapy, like it's like, "How can I hold myself more accountable?" Even if you have the best parents, there's always gonna be like some blind spots, like some gaps in your rearing where you have to do some self-parenting. And usually with the help of others.

• 45:33Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. That's interesting. So have you been doing a lot of self-parenting for your life recently?

• 45:38Speaker 00

  Well, I just think like it became the, this idea of like whether through recovery, through other people, through traditional therapy. It was like, "How can I look at these things, these negative patterns? And try not to allow them to completely run my life." And then I learned it from my wife. Because when we started dating, we would get in, you know, we would have a conflict or get into a fight. And I finally understood that family doesn't leave. And so she made me understand that like, "Oh, we can fight. We can even go to bed angry, but family doesn't leave. So where am I going?

• 46:17Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  We'll figure this out today, tomorrow, or maybe in a week from now. But family doesn't leave. So when we're ready, I'll be here to figure this out."

• 46:25Lewis Howes?

  You take some time if you need to, to go have space, but then come back and we'll talk about it.

• 46:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, and that was revelatory for me. Because it reinforced this idea, but her family structure was so healthy that that was natural to her. And it wasn't, even though I have this great mom who was so there for me, I was so influenced by this guy, simply by him just not being there.

• 46:46Lewis Howes?

  What was the positive lesson that him not being there taught you?

• 46:53Speaker 00

  The positive, I think, I don't know, I think it all been full circle with me having a son. And I think it might not sound positive, but it allowed me to have closure with him, which was having my son and totally getting off on these like mundane things of, you know, putting clothes on my kid, or bathing him, or walking him for miles while he slept in his stroller.

• 47:23Speaker 00

  I started to feel bad for my dad.

• 47:24Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 47:25Speaker 00

  I was like, he missed out on all this, you know, and I, and I think, once you can have empathy, it's nice, because, you know, I think for most of us, the initial is just anger and resentment. And when it can evolve into empathy eventually, it's like, oh, this is less corrosive to my spirit.

• 47:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. That's a beautiful perspective, man.

• 47:46Lewis Howes?

  I've got a couple of final questions for you before I ask them. Happy, happy people are annoying. You look very happy here on both sides of the book.

• 47:53Speaker 00

  It's a beaten switch.

• 47:54Lewis Howes?

  Right, exactly. Make sure you guys get a copy of the book, The Un-Memoir Memoir, self-help, teaching a lot of stories about here that, that Josh has gone through, and lessons, and inspiring things. So make sure you guys pick up a copy of this, it's gonna be really insightful stuff. You're all over social media, I think you got thirty plus million followers. It's Josh Peck everywhere, Twitter, Instagram, Josh Peck Official on Facebook. What platform are you spending the most time on and excited about the most right now?

• 48:25Speaker 00

  I think it's Instagram, I'm actually shoe a Peck, I know, I'm all over the place with these handles.

• 48:30Lewis Howes?

  Okay, okay.

• 48:31Speaker 00

  I'm a mess.

• 48:31Lewis Howes?

  Got you. I read it backwards. This is dyslexic, I see things backwards, but I see it shoe a Peck, yes, on Instagram.

• 48:37Speaker 00

  But I would say TikTok and Instagram, for sure.

• 48:41Lewis Howes?

  TikTok as well. You're going hard on TikTok, huh?

• 48:43Speaker 00

  You gotta love it.

• 48:44Lewis Howes?

  I mean, it's like mine. I do, I don't you, we're posting stuff on there, I know from the show. Um, I think we have like 1.5 or 6 million followers now, I'm sure you got like 30 million on there.

• 48:57Speaker 00

  No, no, I mean, not crazy.

• 48:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, just like 20, so. But um, I like it, I don't go on there that much because every time I go on there, I'm on there for like an hour, just.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 49:07Lewis Howes?

  Seeing what are the trends, what's happening, what's the new stuff out there, and so I try not to look at it for like a week or two at a time. And then I spend like an hour or two just down the rabbit hole.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  Loss.

• 49:17Lewis Howes?

  It's fun.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, it's.

• 49:19Lewis Howes?

  It's too much though.

• 49:20Speaker 00

  The algorithm knows this better than we know ourselves.

• 49:23Lewis Howes?

  I get just motivational speech after motivational speech.

• 49:25Speaker 00

  Do you? That's awesome.

• 49:26Lewis Howes?

  Cause that's all I like to look, to watch really, so.

• 49:30Speaker 00

  Do you find, that's interesting because like, I would, I would also guess that at certain times you're like enough motivation, like this is my business.

• 49:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  Sometimes I need a release.

• 49:42Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, I mean, they throw in other stuff that I like too, I can, I mean, just like, I have a cat, so there's like different cat stuff or animal stuff is always fun for me to just.

• 49:50Speaker 00

  Cat guy.

• 49:51Lewis Howes?

  Got a cat.

• 49:52Speaker 00

  Hmm, love it.

• 49:54Lewis Howes?

  Loved, loved dogs, I probably love dogs more than cats. But the amount of responsibility of having a dog.

• 50:03Speaker 00

  It's too much.

• 50:03Lewis Howes?

  It's too much for my personality because I put so much love and attention. And I wanna be around the dog all the time. And I wanna walk the dog all the time, and then I, so I lose myself in like the rest of my life because I put so much on the dog.

• 50:18Speaker 00

  Right.

• 50:18Lewis Howes?

  Cause like, my heart is too big for these animals, so, cat, I love cats, but I can leave and I don't feel as bad.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  Right.

• 50:26Lewis Howes?

  I just got back from my trip for a few days and I was missing my cat. I was like, I have a little cat, like a camera, that watches to see when the motion is in there.

• 50:35Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 50:35Lewis Howes?

  Oh, how's my cat, my cat's name is Grady. Grady the podcat.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  If we were in high school together.

• 50:41Lewis Howes?

  Grady the podcat.

• 50:43Speaker 00

  I would look at you and I would be like, that guy. He's, he's got it all. And I'd be like, athlete, handsome.

• 50:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I wasn't handsome back then.

• 50:54Speaker 00

  Trust me, you were. That's what all hot people say. They go, like, you should have seen me in high school. I'm like, I'd like to.

• 50:59Lewis Howes?

  I was goofy, man.

• 51:00Speaker 00

  Listen, you should have seen me in high school.

• 51:02Lewis Howes?

  I've seen photos of you.

• 51:03Speaker 00

  It's in reruns. Just check out Teen Nick. But, and who would have known that, that you would have been a future cat guy? And that would have really humanized you to be.

• 51:10Lewis Howes?

  Cat guy, man.

• 51:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. If I had known in high school, you'd be a future cat guy, I'd be like, that guy's all right.

• 51:15Lewis Howes?

  That guy's not bad.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  He's not too cool for school.

• 51:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly. You're the big teen star celebrity up in here. You're too cool for school.

• 51:23Lewis Howes?

  Happy people are annoying. Make sure you guys pick up a copy, get some for your friends, share it out. Follow you over all social media. This question I ask, these two final questions, this one I ask people at the end. It's called the three truths question. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. It's your last day on earth, many years away. You live as long as you want, but eventually you gotta pass away. And you get to accomplish everything you wanna accomplish. You live a healthy, happy life. You've got the family. Everything happens the way you want it, or envision it, or better. But for whatever reason, in this world, you've gotta take all of your work with you. So all the reruns that you're embarrassed by, they go with you. The books, the content, the social media, anything you share into the world, no one has access to anymore.

• 52:09Lewis Howes?

  All your message. But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true. Three lessons you would share with the world. What would be those three truths for you?

• 52:18Speaker 00

  It takes no courage to critique. It takes courage to create.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  Allow a good life to be the result of good living. And

• 52:32Speaker 00

  the bad times are here to teach us, and the good times are here to remind us what we're fighting for.

• 52:39Lewis Howes?

  That sounds like you've had that memorized for a while.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  And

• 52:42Lewis Howes?

  It's good.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  I hope everyone has the opportunity to meet John Stamos once, cuz he's as handsome in person.

• 52:48Lewis Howes?

  I'm sure.

• 52:49Speaker 00

  That would just be like a footnote.

• 52:50Lewis Howes?

  That was like 3.1.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Asterisk.

• 52:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:52Speaker 00

  He lives up to that.

• 52:53Lewis Howes?

  The hair, huh?

• 52:54Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 52:55Lewis Howes?

  It's great.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  The whole thing.

• 52:56Lewis Howes?

  The whole thing.

• 52:57Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:58Lewis Howes?

  The swag, the smile, the hair.

• 52:59Speaker 00

  Dude, you should smell him. He smells like a man.

• 53:03Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 53:03Speaker 00

  He smells like, like an old book.

• 53:05Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 53:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:06Lewis Howes?

  An old book.

• 53:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, like the inside of a drawer. Cedar.

• 53:10Lewis Howes?

  Cedar.

• 53:12Lewis Howes?

  I like this, man. I want to acknowledge you, Josh, for a moment for the journey you've been on. I think growing up, I don't know what it's like to not have a father growing up. I couldn't imagine that. Growing up and turning out to be a decent human being. But also having these kind of different shadows in your teens and early twenties that you learn to face and overcome. I think it's really challenging to face the big challenges in our life. The unhealthy addictions, losing the weight, losing a hundred pounds. That's seems almost impossible for people when they, when they think of that task, if they've gone that far. So to do that and overcome all the other challenges and also overcome the fear of abandonment and not running away in intimacy and relationships.

• 53:56Lewis Howes?

  I think that's probably the thing I'm want to acknowledge you the most for. For diving into committed relationship, marriage and not running away. I think it's really beautiful journey that you've been on. I'm excited to see what you create in service with all this as a foundation moving forward. So I really acknowledge you for this, man. And excited to see what you build moving forward. My final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 54:22Speaker 00

  Oh, man.

• 54:27Speaker 00

  God, I should have been more prepared for this one. Definition, what's my definition of greatness? It's how you affect others. Yeah. What you do with the great things that are given to you.

• 54:44Lewis Howes?

  There you go. That's good, Josh. Thanks, man.

• 54:46Speaker 00

  Thank you, brother.

• 54:46Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it, brother. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys, so share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.