How To Be The Best Dinner Party Guest (Live)

Casey Elsass is known as the “cookbook doula” because he’s helped birth nearly 20 cookbooks, as a ghostwriter or co-writer. Now, Casey has published his very first solo cookbook, What Can I Bring? Recipes To Help You Live Your Guest Life, about how to be the best guest at a dinner party.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:12Dan Pashman?

  This episode of The Sporkful is brought to you by Samsung Bespoke Appliances. Visit samsung.com/bespoke to learn more.

• 0:22Dan Pashman?

  This is The Sporkful. It's not for foodies, it's for eaters. I'm Dan Pashman. Each week on our show, we obsess about food to learn more about people, and we're coming to you live from the Samsung Test Kitchen in New York City.

• 0:40Dan Pashman?

  We're here in this beautiful space, surrounded by gleaming Samsung appliances, some of which we're going to be using in just a few minutes. I don't think in the 15-year history of The Sporkful, we've ever done live cooking while taping in front of an audience. So it's exciting. It's gonna be super fun. A lot of people call my guest "The Cookbook Dula", because he's helped to birth nearly 20 cookbooks, although often behind the scenes. He's worked with famous chefs, celebrities, and influencers as a co-author and ghostwriter. So I can tell you that whether or not you know his name, you've almost definitely seen his work. Now he's out with his first-ever cookbook all his own, where his name is the one in big letters on the cover. It's called "What Can I Bring: Recipes to Help You Live Your Guest Life."

• 1:24Dan Pashman?

  Please welcome Casey Elsass.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  What a welcome.

• 1:31Dan Pashman?

  I know. Very good, huh? "What Can I Bring?" is the cookbook. What's it about?

• 1:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. So the question we all have to ask, which is a stressful question. I wrote a cookbook that is 75 answers to that question with dips, drinks, salads, and desserts, because I think that's the thing we get asked to bring the most.

• 1:47Dan Pashman?

  It's so useful, but also creative. That's what I love about it. This is an issue.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52Dan Pashman?

  And we're gonna be cooking two dishes from the cookbook tonight. What's the first one?

• 1:56Speaker 01

  The first one going in the oven now is olive and rosemary focaccia. And then later, I'm gonna make this tomato and halloumi salad.

• 2:04Dan Pashman?

  Ooh, that's right. And everyone here is gonna get to try some.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:07Dan Pashman?

  All right. Should we put this in the oven?

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:09Dan Pashman?

  All right.

• 2:11Dan Pashman?

  What is the key to making a great focaccia as opposed to any other bread?

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Water. Focaccia is a much wetter dough than a lot of other breads because you don't need structure in the same way. It's sort of spreads out and it's meant to. So it's a very hydrated dough, which also means that kneading isn't like on the counter kind of kneading. You do kind of a stretch and fold knead over time and that's what builds the structure in it.

• 2:37Dan Pashman?

  So the olive and rosemary focaccia is in the oven. Let's talk about your career a little bit. This role of ghostwriter or co-author on a cookbook. Like first off, what exactly does that mean for folks who don't know about inner workings of cookbooks?

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. Ghostwriter, my name's not on the book. Co-author, my name's on the book. In both situations, I'm coming in usually at the beginning of the book, but sometimes at various stages of the book.

• 3:00Dan Pashman?

  Sometimes it's like this thing's a train wreck. Call Casey.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's happened. Yeah. Or like an author is like hit a wall, the deadline's in a month, and they just need someone to come right with them and get them through the finish line. But no matter what I'm doing, I'm just helping somebody realize their vision for their cookbook, which is what's really interesting. I get to sit in so many points of views and palates and just really absorb like what their perspective on cooking is, which is super interesting. Sometimes I'm doing the recipes too. Sometimes I'm just writing. It depends.

• 3:35Dan Pashman?

  How do you absorb someone else's palate?

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Time, like a lot of time together. It's a really intimate thing, making a cookbook. And so you just get this sort of like quality of time. It's a scary thing too. So I get a lot of vulnerability from that person as well. I've seen a lot of chefs like break down their walls with me.

• 3:54Dan Pashman?

  Really?

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Everybody spins out, but it happens at a different point for everyone.

• 4:00Dan Pashman?

  What is the thing that makes them freak out?

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Um, it's a lot of pressure and I understand it now. It's scary to put your name on something and to put it out into the world and say, this is it. This is me. This is my point of view. It's a stressful thing. I get it.

• 4:16Dan Pashman?

  What's the hardest part of the job?

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Two things. Managing personalities is tough, but I also think a lot of times the strict, hardline recipe writing can get really tedious and boring, especially if I have like multiple...

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Deadlines near each other and I feel like, oh, I just did this. That's like the least creative part of the process. That's just the like grunt work of it. So that's where I get a little like, oh, I just have to get through this part.

• 4:42Dan Pashman?

  I know some of the folks you've worked with, you're a ghostwriter, you can't say. But who are some of the folks you've worked with who you can say?

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Um, a few of the books I've co-authored were Dolce with Renato Pollofito. He owns Chow Gloria and Pasta Night. And then Jeremy Solomon, who owns Aggie's Counter in Pitts in Brooklyn.

• 5:01Dan Pashman?

  His cookbook was Second Generation.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Second Generation, yeah. I love that book so much.

• 5:05Dan Pashman?

  Yeah, it was great.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Um, and then a celebrity I can talk about is Caroline Manzo from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

• 5:11Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Who was wonderful. Like when we started the process, she had already typed up all of her family recipes in a big three-ring binder. So she just sent me home with that to like adapt those into, because all the recipes said like enough basil and a handful. So I figured out what that meant.

• 5:30Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  But yeah, she was great.

• 5:32Dan Pashman?

  So everyone from like really upscale pastry chefs to Real Housewives.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, which is upscale too, in my opinion.

• 5:41Dan Pashman?

  Transitioning to your book, the experience of doing your first solo cookbook. Did it give you a different perspective on all the people you've worked with in the past?

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, this part of it for sure.

• 5:53Dan Pashman?

  The promotion.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, because usually by the time the book goes off to print, that's where I drop out. So they sort of go off and plan their promo and their book tour and I'm never part of that situation. Um, so this was like a whole new perspective on it. The interesting part about writing was that I had only ever done a cookbook as a group project. And this was my first time doing a cookbook completely by myself. And that was really strange because there was a lot of things that I was super clear about. And like I, I knew what I wanted to look like, what I wanted to sound like. But you know, there's like a thousand tiny decisions that you make in the process of writing a book.

• 6:34Dan Pashman?

  It's exhausting.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I just didn't have. The person to turn to to just be like, what do you think about this? Or like, where does this thing go?

• 6:43Dan Pashman?

  I imagine like, cut to Casey in the kitchen, like, having a long conversation with yourself.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Truly, yes. Or like, a couple of friends who like, spend a lot of hours on the phone as I was like, I don't think I've used an orange in this book. And they're like, I don't think that matters.

• 7:04Dan Pashman?

  So what gave you the idea for the cookbook?

• 7:05Speaker 01

  It was during the pandemic, when we were all in quarantine and I was really missing getting together. And I said the name of the book in a group chat as a joke. And then I was like, oh, hold on, wait, that's actually really good. And so I just kept a Google Doc going for years, just ideas and scraps of recipes or whatever. And then I just sort of got to a point where I was like, okay, I think I'm ready to do this.

• 7:31Dan Pashman?

  You have some tips for living your guest life in the book. I want to go through them and let's talk a little bit more about them.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:37Dan Pashman?

  Number one, be honest about what kind of guest you are.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:40Dan Pashman?

  What does that mean?

• 7:41Speaker 01

  There's a lot of information out there about how to be a good host, but there's not a lot on the guest side of the equation. And there are some very important things to make your host life much easier. So being honest about what kind of guests, I say in the book, if you're always on time, bring appetizers. If you're reliably late, bring drinks. If you're stopping by later, bring dessert. And if you bring nothing else, bring a present. Just like knowing, like, before you commit to the cheese plate, are you actually going to be leaving your house at the time you're supposed to show up? Or will you be there on time? Like, that will derail the whole night.

• 8:14Dan Pashman?

  Right, right. Because then everyone's just eating Cheetos, waiting for the cheese plate to show up.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Right, or it shows up like halfway through the first course. And then what are we supposed to do with it? Like, we're not in France.

• 8:24Dan Pashman?

  Right, so that's a good rule. Come prepared.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Yes, don't show up expecting fridge space, oven space. Room temp food is great. A lot of things like fats and acids actually taste really great at room temperature. But also, don't expect your host to be your Williams Sonoma. If you need a serving bowl, if you need utensils, that's your responsibility. If you need cups, anything like that, just bring that.

• 8:49Dan Pashman?

  But are you okay with like, me showing up with the salad in a bowl and the dressing in a separate jar?

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Yes, I would appreciate that, actually. Like, that's being thoughtful. But whatever bowl it's going to end up in, that's you. I hate when people walk in and they're like, do you have like a big bowl?

• 9:04Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Like what? I don't know what that means.

• 9:06Dan Pashman?

  Right. Do you have a turkey roasting pan?

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:10Dan Pashman?

  I need to roast a whole turkey. Right. And then you kind of touched on the next one, embrace room temp food. This is big, Casey.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:16Dan Pashman?

  As I have gotten older and hosted more and more, one of the biggest sources of stress when you're hosting is worrying about everything being hot.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:24Dan Pashman?

  If you don't worry about everything being hot, the whole thing just got so much easier.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:29Dan Pashman?

  But you say as a guest, don't worry about it being warm.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Your host is playing Tetris in the kitchen. And so don't be expecting a burner, a rack in the oven, a shelf in the fridge. But when I'm hosting, I also embrace room temperature food. Because then it's like, one thing at the table can be hot. Everything else is fine at room temperature. And that cuts down the stress immediately.

• 9:51Dan Pashman?

  Big time. You get everything ready. Maybe you mix a couple of things at the last minute. You put the plates out. It looks great. Everyone's happy. Room temp food.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:58Dan Pashman?

  I want to add one more about guesting. Tell me what you think of this.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:02Dan Pashman?

  Understand reciprocity. Sometimes my family will be going to someone's house. And especially if it's like somebody who hosts a lot and goes to great lengths. They're a very elaborate and generous host. There'll be a debate in my household about what we should bring. And my wife feels like she wants to like really bring a lot. She's coming from a good place. She wants to show appreciation. Like it's so nice. But I also feel like showing up with 25 things, it's almost kind of weird at a certain point.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 10:31Dan Pashman?

  Like, is there such a thing as bringing too much?

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, your wife's right there, so I'm scared to answer.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  But yes, I agree with you.

• 10:38Dan Pashman?

  All right.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Some people have very strict rules that if they said bring nothing, they will be pissed off if you bring something.

• 10:46Dan Pashman?

  I feel like if someone is hosting you and they're being very generous and they're a very great host, the way to repay them is not by showing up with 25 things. It's by being reciprocal with the invitation.

• 10:58Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:59Dan Pashman?

  So invite them over the next time and show them a really nice dinner. That's the way that you thank somebody is by inviting them.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would say two things. My favorite way of showing Someone that I appreciate it and I love them is showing up with one incredible thing, which then makes them look good. Like if there's that one thing at the party that everyone's obsessed with, your host looks incredible.

• 11:20Dan Pashman?

  So quality, not quantity.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Yes. Or bringing a gift that they can enjoy later. That's really special and thoughtful. But the thing that I also say in that rule section is say thank you. People forget that like just taking a moment to acknowledge and appreciate your host is the most meaningful thing. So if that's sending a card, that's incredible. I've gotten that a couple of times and it's so meaningful.

• 11:43Dan Pashman?

  Yeah. Thank you. Card is so nice. Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Even if it's like something more casual, just take time the next day and send a really thoughtful thank you text.

• 11:50Dan Pashman?

  Yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  That makes your host feel seen and appreciated.

• 11:53Dan Pashman?

  That's good advice. Um, let's talk about some of the recipes in this cookbook. Pico de sandia as opposed to pico de gallo.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Right. Sandia is watermelon in Spanish. So instead of using tomato, it's a finely diced watermelon, which to me just has a better texture that holds up over time, but also a really nice sweet flavor. Pico is going to get watery anyway, so it might as well be watermelon juice in the mix. But everything else about it is like peppers, onion, exactly what you would expect to be in there. But it's just like a really nice summary version.

• 12:23Dan Pashman?

  See, I never think to put onion with watermelon, but I guess it must work.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  It's great. Yeah. I mean, watermelon is not overly sweet. It's a subtle sweetness.

• 12:31Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  But also onions have a sweetness too.

• 12:34Dan Pashman?

  Right. I would think, yeah, yeah. But raw onions.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Well, I'm very against raw onions.

• 12:39Dan Pashman?

  Oh, okay. I, I share your skepticism. Go on.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  So they get a soak in some cold water first to cut the edge off of them.

• 12:44Dan Pashman?

  Oh, okay.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  But then also there's a lot of acid in the mix, so they lightly pickle.

• 12:49Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  There's also your favorite ingredient, tahin is in that mix.

• 12:52Dan Pashman?

  I love to me some tahin. Yes, very good. Um, so that, that's a good dip to bring to someone's house.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 12:58Dan Pashman?

  Okay. Uh, and if you make it in advance, you bring it over. If it gets a little watery, it's still gonna be good.

• 13:01Speaker 01

  Well, that's the whole point. That's the best part.

• 13:04Dan Pashman?

  You have a recipe for the perfect pasta salad.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  I would say that's more my list of rules, more than a recipe, which also includes no raw onion. Um, there are a few key moments in a pasta salad where people drop the ball. Like while your pasta is hot, that's when the sausage go on. It's just ready to absorb all the flavor right there.

• 13:26Dan Pashman?

  That's interesting. So even if you're making it ahead and it may not be eaten for a little while, you would still sauce the pasta.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  There are like fresh herbs that go in at the end, so I would save that. But everything else should just get coated right away. So all those flavors can just marry together.

• 13:40Dan Pashman?

  I was invited to a friend's house and I made a pasta salad from my cookbook that's orecchiate with raw heirloom tomato putanesca. It's phenomenal. But I mixed it with the pasta and I didn't realize we weren't eating for a while. So it sat for like three hours and that was too long. Like the orecchiate were the size of frisbees.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:00Dan Pashman?

  By the time we were done and the sauce was gone.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:03Dan Pashman?

  It was still fine. It wasn't bad, but like there is, it is a risk.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Yes, that's true.

• 14:07Dan Pashman?

  Is it wrong to message your host and be like, what time are we eating? Cause I got a plan when I'm gonna sauce my pasta.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  I mean, I would say a good host will give you that information upfront, but yes, ask for it if you don't have it.

• 14:17Dan Pashman?

  That's not being too annoying?

• 14:18Speaker 01

  No.

• 14:19Dan Pashman?

  Okay. Couple more recipes I want to touch on.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:21Dan Pashman?

  Apple and Chinese five spice pie.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:25Dan Pashman?

  Chinese five spice has cinnamon, has cloves.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:27Dan Pashman?

  So it's got already things that are

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, familiar flavors.

• 14:31Dan Pashman?

  Anyone would recognize an apple pie, but what else does it have and why is it special?

• 14:34Speaker 01

  I mean, it also has ginger. So like, none of these are too out of left field for flavors that go with apple. The only thing that maybe is a little bit of a twist is white pepper, which is a more mild version of pepper, but it adds this nice like background heat to the pie. To me, that's just like a really nice compliment. And it tastes almost like a classic pie, but there's like one little thing about it that just feels really different and special, which was kind of my goal with every recipe in the book. Starting with something familiar, but changing one thing that makes this feel brand new.

• 15:09Dan Pashman?

  I love that approach.

• 15:13Dan Pashman?

  One of the things that I like about your book is that you're really getting into a fraught interaction between hosts and guests.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:19Dan Pashman?

  There's a lot of ways that even very well intentioned people. Can go wrong. I want to do a little lightning round. I'm gonna lay out a guesting scenario and I want you to tell me how you recommend people deal with it.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  All right.

• 15:32Dan Pashman?

  Okay, you're a guest, you ask, what can I bring? And the host says, bring whatever you want. Major eye roll from Casey. The audio record will not reflect, but Casey just looked very peeved. I mean, I agree, but you go on. Why is this annoying?

• 15:46Speaker 01

  I mean, that's bad hosting, but that's someone else's topic to talk about. I would say this is where having a signature dish is the most useful. Because if you make a great dessert or a perfect salad, that's your chance to be like, okay, this is what I do best. Can I bring this?

• 16:02Dan Pashman?

  Right. Would you tell the host, okay, fine, I'm gonna bring this? Or would you just like show up with it?

• 16:07Speaker 01

  I mean, this person's off the rails, so someone has to be. They need some structure to this dinner.

• 16:13Dan Pashman?

  So you would tell them.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:14Dan Pashman?

  Right, right, right. Next one. You're a guest, you ask, what can I bring? And the host gives you a specific assignment, like bring a salad, bring a side. But you like, don't have a good dish in your repertoire for that. You don't have the ingredients, like it's gonna be difficult for you to make the thing. What do you do?

• 16:31Speaker 01

  I would say buy a copy of What Can I Bring by K C Alsace.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Everything in my book is ranked by effort.

• 16:40Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Nothing's hard. Everything just is a different level of effort. So I wanted to make recipes that anybody at any level could find something that feels like the thing they could do. But worst case scenario, I think store bought things are okay. If you're just filling a gap in the dinner, it's not gonna be the most incredible thing, but you're just chipping in in that case.

• 17:00Dan Pashman?

  Right. Last one of the lightning round. You're the guest, you ask, what can I bring? And the host says, don't bring anything. What do you do in this situation?

• 17:07Speaker 01

  The last chapter of the book is called present moment, and it's five food gifts that you can bring that are meant to be enjoyed later for your host. So I just think bringing something to show your appreciation is really nice if they're not contributing to the dinner in some way.

• 17:24Dan Pashman?

  One that I love to do, like, so every fall, the new olive oil crop comes in, I order like two cases of olive oil from Italy, really nice ones from a place that I like. And, oh, you get invited to someone's house? Grab a nice bottle of olive oil. And it's something they don't need to serve, but it's special. It's a thing that we picked out and, you know, everyone uses olive oil.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  That's a good one. Yeah.

• 17:44Dan Pashman?

  What I find annoying is that if you're the host and you tell someone, don't bring anything, and then they bring something. I feel like that's being a bad guest.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Yes, I would agree with that.

• 17:51Dan Pashman?

  I think you're right that in that situation, bring a gift for the house.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:56Dan Pashman?

  Bring something that does not need to be served. But like, if the host says don't bring anything, and then you show up with something like a cake, and they already have three cakes, well, that's annoying.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. I think to your point, though, being a good guest is elevating the event, but not upstaging the event. You want to bring the right thing for the right occasion, but not ever bring something through the door that was not expected or asked for.

• 18:19Dan Pashman?

  The host is in charge. And when I'm the host, I'm in charge. And when you're the host, I will defer to you.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:26Dan Pashman?

  Coming up, we open the floor to the audience and hear a story of a guesting disaster. Then Casey keeps cooking, and we get to my favorite part when we eat. Stick around.

• 18:45Dan Pashman?

  As I said at the top, this entire episode you're listening to right now was recorded at the Samsung Test Kitchen in New York City. And I spent the whole day there, actually, even before this live show started, getting a full tour of all these incredible Samsung bespoke AI appliances. Samsung's new line of bespoke AI appliances simplifies your time in the kitchen. They got this AI Family Hub Plus, lets you watch your favorite shows, listen to music, and find personalized recipe recommendations all on this beautiful, huge, 32-inch touchscreen that's built right into your fridge. I have a Samsung range in my house. I've had it for years. It is phenomenal. It is a workhorse, and I'm extremely happy with it. But when it's time for a new one, I'm going right back to Samsung, because all these appliances were beautiful.

• 19:29Dan Pashman?

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• 19:59Dan Pashman?

  Welcome back to The Sporkful. I'm Dan Pashman. Let's return now to the Samsung Test Kitchen where I'm talking with Casey Elsass, author of the cookbook, What Can I Bring? Is olive oil, rosemary, focaccia is in the oven, and we're opening the floor to the audience.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  I'm Carrie. When my mom hosted my brother's soon-to-be-in-laws for the first time, they asked what they could bring, and we said wine, and they brought a box of calzones from a pizza shop.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  They proceeded to eat most of the calzones and didn't eat most of the dinner.

• 20:33Dan Pashman?

  Wow.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  So I think that they had some maybe food preferences that perhaps they didn't feel like sharing in advance. I'm curious, who owns the obligation of asking or telling what food preferences are? Should the host say, "I'm having a dinner, and this is what's on the menu. Do you have any food allergies?" And if the host does not offer that information, then is it on the guest to say, "We're so excited to come for dinner. Could you provide more information?"

• 21:03Dan Pashman?

  By the way, we only eat calzones.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Yes, we only eat calzones. We're gonna bring them actually, and we'll just leave the driveway and eat them by ourselves.

• 21:09Dan Pashman?

  We have a case in the trunk, it's fine.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  They are ex-in-laws now, in case you wonder how that story ends.

• 21:16Dan Pashman?

  So you just answered my question. Okay, so I guess it didn't bode well.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 21:20Dan Pashman?

  So Casey, how do you deal with this? Whose responsibility is it to communicate, whether it's dietary restrictions or just sort of like specifics about likes and dislikes?

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, first, I want to be on whatever diet that is. That sounds incredible. But I would say it's the host's job first to ask. At the time of the invitation, you should be checking with your guests if there's anything you need to know. But it's also the guest's job to speak up. Like, it's so weird to show up expecting a vegan thing or a gluten-free thing if you didn't tell anybody that you need those things.

• 21:56Dan Pashman?

  Right, but it's tougher when it's like mild pickiness.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  I count pickiness in that category. Speak up, or train's going out of the station. Let me describe this real quick.

• 22:06Dan Pashman?

  Yeah, check the focaccia. I'm excited to see. How's it looking in here?

• 22:09Speaker 01

  Oh, she's beautiful.

• 22:10Dan Pashman?

  You want me to close the door?

• 22:11Speaker 01

  I got it.

• 22:12Dan Pashman?

  You got it? Oh, yeah. Where's our racial race style applause? Come on.

• 22:21Dan Pashman?

  Let's hold it out so everyone can see it, though. Oh, look at the focaccia.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  This is the most unnatural thing I've ever done.

• 22:32Dan Pashman?

  All right, we can put that down. There's one more dish we're making. Tell me again what it is.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Tomato and halloumi salad. The halloumi is lightly fried, so it gets nice and crispy and warm.

• 22:42Dan Pashman?

  Like pan fried?

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, pan fried. And then there's an oregano oil that I made earlier, some lemon juice and sesame seeds.

• 22:50Dan Pashman?

  Oh, it looks so good. All right, let's do it.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  All right.

• 22:52Dan Pashman?

  Live action cooking here on the spork bowl.

• 22:56Dan Pashman?

  I love halloumi cheese. It's so good on salads. If you don't know, it's like a Middle Eastern cheese that is very firm, kind of squeaky. You can put it on a grill, grill, like on the grill grates and grill it. And that's also phenomenal, but pan grill, like it won't melt, it won't fall apart in a pan.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:12Dan Pashman?

  And that's kind of what makes it special. It gets a little char on the outside of it, and it's just so, so good.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  Yep. So we're gonna start with the tomatoes, so I can salt them and start getting some of that flavor going. So we want like nice chunky pieces, so we get some nice texture in there.

• 23:27Dan Pashman?

  What do you do if you want to make a tomato salad when it's not prime tomato season where you live?

• 23:32Speaker 01

  I know. That's really tough. Like, I would encourage any tomato, like, raw tomato dish, wait till it's tomato season. But, I mean, if you really can, the keys here will be a lot of salt, maybe some extra acid, just to get some more flavor going out of them. Because you know they get so bland when they're out of season.

• 23:53Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Even a little sugar is fine, too, just to get some sweetness going.

• 23:57Dan Pashman?

  People feel like that's somehow cheating. Like, Italian owners do that, too.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 24:01Dan Pashman?

  And you feel like salt the tomatoes and then let them sit?

• 24:04Speaker 01

  I like to do this first, so the juices can just get flowing along.

• 24:08Dan Pashman?

  Even if it gets a little, like, watery in the bottom of the plate?

• 24:11Speaker 01

  Well, that's the whole point. Like, the nice thing about tomatoes is they have a natural acidity to them. So it's not just flavorless water, it's actually gonna make your salad taste better.

• 24:21Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  There's another layer of flavor in there.

• 24:23Dan Pashman?

  I would be too, like, OCD about it. I would have to salt each individual slice. Because there's some that are buried on the bottom that didn't really get salted, but it's just gonna flow down, you think?

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I'm very into the, like, they'll all get something somehow. Okay, now we'll move. Back here.

• 24:40Dan Pashman?

  So we got the induction burner here. Casey's got a nice, flat griddle. We're gonna griddle up some halloumi.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 24:49Dan Pashman?

  Now, if you were bringing this salad to a party, Casey, would you fully dress it first? Or would you keep the dressing on the side?

• 24:54Speaker 01

  You do want time for everything to sort of mingle and marry together. So I would dress it right before I leave.

• 24:59Dan Pashman?

  Okay.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  Let me give this a second to heat up.

• 25:02Dan Pashman?

  Yeah.

• 25:05Dan Pashman?

  With each piece of halloumi, the sizzle builds. So here's a question for you, Casey.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 25:11Dan Pashman?

  While you're cooking.

• 25:14Dan Pashman?

  How do you feel about bringing leftovers? So, wow, the crowd just gasped.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  We know how they feel.

• 25:23Dan Pashman?

  Like, I wouldn't do this in any situation. But I feel like if it's a close friend or a family member.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:29Dan Pashman?

  Let's say you hosted the night before and someone brought a whole giant cheesecake to your house and you only ate a quarter of it.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:35Dan Pashman?

  And now you have three quarters of a giant cheesecake in your fridge, which you either aren't gonna finish or know that it's not good for you to finish. Is it okay to bring three quarters of a cheesecake to your close friend or family member's house?

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, to a close friend. I also think dessert leftover is not... That's different. When you said leftovers, I thought you meant like half of your Chinese takeout.

• 25:59Dan Pashman?

  Right, that...

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:01Dan Pashman?

  Right, okay.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  Extra cake is... Well, let's not call it leftover.

• 26:04Dan Pashman?

  Okay, okay, alright.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Bonus cake.

• 26:05Dan Pashman?

  Uneaten.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:07Dan Pashman?

  Got it, okay.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fine. But to a new friend, no, that would be crazy.

• 26:10Dan Pashman?

  Who here would bring three quarters of an uneaten cheesecake to a close friend or family member's house? Only three hands.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 26:19Dan Pashman?

  Four, five, there, yeah. Some people are very bashfully raising half a hand in shame. Don't be afraid, it's okay. Casey and I say it's okay.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  It's almost time to eat, guys.

• 26:34Dan Pashman?

  Any more questions? Yes.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  What if I bring a dish, something that the host wanted, but there's a lot of leftover? And the host says I should take it back home?

• 26:46Dan Pashman?

  This is a very common situation.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  So should I feel insulted, like they don't want to eat it? Or it's just too much food? Like, should you take your leftovers back with you? Or leave it with the host?

• 26:56Dan Pashman?

  Great question. Casey?

• 26:57Speaker 01

  If there's leftovers of what you brought, there's also probably a lot of leftovers of what they made, too. So I understand it from the, like, fridge space, or we just can't eat all this food. I like to make things that I love to eat. So if I got to take it home with me, that's just extra for me.

• 27:16Dan Pashman?

  Right, if it's something store-bought or something sort of random, that's one thing. But if it's something that I put a lot of effort into, was really excited to bring, and there's a lot of leftovers, it's like, I kind of want to take some of it home. I think you should leave some.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:28Dan Pashman?

  But to say, like, let's split it.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  I mean, you shouldn't make the gesture of pretending like you're gonna leave it, at least.

• 27:33Dan Pashman?

  Right, right. And they're like, no, no, take it. We have so much, we have so much. You're like, no, no, you take it. No, you take it. Okay, fine, I'll take half. Right, yeah. But I run into trouble with that once in a while. You know, it'll be like, no, you take it. And like, okay, you sure?

• 27:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:48Dan Pashman?

  Like, oh, no. I didn't mean for you to do that.

• 27:53Dan Pashman?

  Just trying to be polite.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 27:55Dan Pashman?

  All right, the lemon juice is drizzling all over. We have our beautiful charred, golden brown halloumi rectangles over the bright red tomatoes, the salt, the lemon juice. It's gonna be sweet and salty and...

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Wow, can you just follow me around when I cook? It's so nice.

• 28:12Dan Pashman?

  Oh, man. And then we're gonna drizzle some of that oregano oil on the top. Is that right?

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Yes. Okay, last steps, and then we're ready. So sesame seeds.

• 28:22Dan Pashman?

  Such a good touch. You're not skimping on the sesame seeds.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 28:25Dan Pashman?

  I feel like some people would put like a pinch. No, like, there should be sesame seeds in every bite.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  No, they're so, they're crunchy, they've got great flavors. They're an important part. We're gonna do just a little more salt, just to be safe. There we go.

• 28:37Dan Pashman?

  Look at that, huh?

• 28:41Dan Pashman?

  This looks amazing.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 28:43Dan Pashman?

  And are we ready to cut up this focaccia? Last call for questions.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  I'm Josh. One of the great things to ask when you're a guest to your host is, what can I help you with at a party? Maybe the host is in the weeds. They're like, I'm in the middle of mixing this dish. I don't have time to think about it. What are your go to things of something you can do if the host can't give you direction because they're in the middle of something and you can't pull them away from it?

• 29:06Speaker 01

  I would say music is definitely a great one. Ask if you can help set the table. Don't ask if you can help in the kitchen. That always seems to be a real trigger point. But I would say also ask, can I wash any dishes? Can I get anything out of the sink for you?

• 29:22Dan Pashman?

  Washing dishes? That's the number one thing I need help with when I'm cooking.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Right, because you already have a backlog in the sink. So like getting some of that cleared out would be a very helpful guest task.

• 29:32Dan Pashman?

  Yeah, everyone has their food now. How's the salad and the focaccia? Good?

• 29:40Dan Pashman?

  Very good. I should get my taste though. Shouldn't I get a taste? I'm just going to take it right out of the pan. I'm making my own bite right here. I'm grabbing a piece of focaccia, a tomato with a ton of stuff on top. You guys put this in the casey? Here, I'm gonna rip it in half. I'm just going hands here. All right, cheers.

• 29:59Dan Pashman?

  This is a good pairing, too. It says everything, salty, savory, sweet. Really good. Hey, listen, before we wrap up, I want to mention that we have been shooting video this whole event. So head over to my Instagram to see what Casey cooked up and much more from this live show. Follow me on Instagram, at the Sporkful. Casey Elsas's cookbook is What Can I Bring? Recipes to Help You Live Your Guest Life. It's out now. You gotta have it in your life. Big hand for Casey Elsas.

• 30:27Dan Pashman?

  And my thanks to everyone at Samsung and Sirius XM who made this event possible. And thanks to all of you for coming out. Good night.

• 30:43Dan Pashman?

  This episode was produced by me along with Max Miller and Andres O'Hara. Engineering by Jared O'Connell. The Sporkful is a production of Stichar Studios. Our executive producer is Camille Stanley. Until next time, I'm Dan Pashman.

• 30:53Speaker 05

  And I'm Rain Kornitzky from Santa Cruz, California, reminding you to eat more, eat better, and eat more better.

• 31:13Dan Pashman?

  Thank you again to the sponsor of today's episode, Samsung Bespoke Appliances. Visit samsung.com/bespoke to learn more.