Scammin' Shoplifters w/ Danny Pudi

The incomparable and hilarious Danny Pudi (Community, Going Dutch, Mythic Quest) joins Laci on today’s episode to talk about the ultimate discount: the five-finger discount. Laci entertains cousin Danny with tales of Lululemon looters, the TikTok Target thief, and a private island owner who stole from K-Mart. Danny shares his altar boy church scam, while Laci and the crew lose their minds trying to name a buttercrunch toffee chocolate commonly found at Ross stores. Plus, Danny discloses his passion for healthy floor grass and finding balance in daily life. Stay schemin'! Check out Danny and Laci on Going Dutch! https://www.fox.com/going-dutch/ CON-gregation, make sure to catch Laci's new TV Show Scam Goddess, now on Freeform and Hulu! Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Danny Pudi: @danielpudi Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/24/business/lululemon-theft-connecticut-couple.html?unlocked_article_code=1.fE4.49F6. XeJTVCBFvord&smid=url-share https://connecticut.news12.com/danbury-couple-charged-in-ring-suspected-of-stealing-1-million-in-lululemon-clothes https://kstp.com/kstp-news/local-news/couple-arrested-in-minnesota-alleged-to-be-behind-1m-lululemon-theft-conspiracy/ https://westfaironline.com/fairfield/tiktokers-from-danbury-busted-in-1m-shoplifting-refund-scheme/?print=print https://www.fastcompany.com/91235908/a-tiktok-influencer-was-arrested-for-shoplifting-in-florida-after-posting-a-video-showing-her-target-haul https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/25/us/tiktok-influencer-shoplifting-target.html https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-47868321 https://www.flkeysnews.com/news/local/article228779659.html

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:15Speaker 01

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• 1:28Speaker 00

  She'd throw things, wander, and started hoarding. Mom's Alzheimer's was already so hard, but then we found out she had agitation that may happen with dementia due to Alzheimer's disease. And that was a different kind of difficult. So we asked her doctor for more help.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  Seeing symptoms like these in a loved one? It could be time to ask their doctor about Rexulti, Rexiprazole 2mg, the first FDA-approved treatment for this condition. Rexulti is proven to reduce agitation symptoms. Rexulti should not be used as an as-needed treatment. Elderly people with dementia-related psychosis have increased risk of death or stroke. Report fever, stiff muscles, and confusion, which can be life-threatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. High blood sugar can lead to coma or death. Weight gain, increased cholesterol, unusual urges, dizziness on standing, falls, seizures, trouble swallowing, or sleepiness may occur. Learn more about these and other side effects at rexulti.com. Tap ad for PI. I'm glad I I asked for help. Ask your loved ones doctor about. Rexati.

• 2:43Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley. I'm back. Okay, your girl had to get some rest. Y'all know I've been dropping 52 wakes a year for almost six years. Your girl needed a nap, okay? And Scam Goddess, a television show, is out now on Hulu. And it is on Freeform on Wednesdays at 10:00 PM if you have Freeform, but you can also watch it on Hulu. And we've been trending in the top 15 on Hulu all week, every week. Top six, top 10, like, come on, y'all. I appreciate y'all so much. But watch the show. Stream it in another room and let your dog watch it as well. Let's scam, okay?

• 3:27Laci Mosley?

  Let's keep it up there. I love y'all so much. But we're not here to talk about me and my show. You know, we're here to talk about the podcast. It's all about scams, robbery and fraud and those who practice them. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. We will see along the way. And y'all already know I'm very what? Hmm, first time in 2025, I'm very what? Yes, excited. I know it's hard to get excited about things in 2025, but we gonna have to get excited, okay? Because my guest today is an actor and director who you may know from his work on hilarious TV shows like Community and Mythic Quest. And I had the pleasure of shooting a television show with him last year.

• 4:12Laci Mosley?

  The reason I was in Ireland last year, y'all know, with Denis Leary and Taylor McShack, was for the new TV show Going Dutch, right? Okay, so this is my Going Dutch cousin. He is my cousin, don't look it up. Congregation. I'm overjoyed to welcome Danny Pooty to the show. Danny, what's up? Hello.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  Hello, cousin Lacey. How are you doing?

• 4:40Laci Mosley?

  You said that like comrade. Hello, comrade.

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Hello, my cousin Lacey.

• 4:45Laci Mosley?

  We probably will be there in a moment, but right now.

• 4:51Speaker 04

  Greetings, greetings, greetings. So good to see and hear you.

• 4:54Laci Mosley?

  Salutations, cousin Lacey.

• 4:59Speaker 04

  What's going down?

• 5:00Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my goodness. It's so good to see you. It's so good to see you. Well, we both live in California, so you know our shit is on fire.

• 5:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, crazy, crazy.

• 5:09Laci Mosley?

  But I do want to say a huge shout out to the first responders, to the firefighters, to the people who have pulled up from Canada, from everywhere. Also to the imprisoned firefighters who have been leaving the prison to fight fires and put their lives on the lines for us. Thank you so much. It's a huge gratitude. And, you know, California, we're the baddest bitch in the States. We're gonna be fine. We're gonna build back, and we're gonna build back better. And we're always gonna support our communities, and we're gonna continue to do so. So, we'll be okay. We had snow on palm trees last year, and now we got fire.

• 5:52Laci Mosley?

  Like, what, you know, what, what can't we do? And also, I do want to say a shout out to everybody who got a blizzard in the South, because Louisiana got a blizzard, Florida got a little bit of blizzard.

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Houston.

• 6:08Laci Mosley?

  Texas, yeah, Houston, Texas got a little bit of blizzard. And y'all acted a goddamn fool. Why are y'all sprinkling Zatarans on the snow instead of salt? What is happening?

• 6:23Laci Mosley?

  Why are y'all skiing down Bourbon Street? Can y'all be serious for one moment? No? Okay.

• 6:37Laci Mosley?

  All the world events are happening to us and you know, it's our fault. So what are we gonna do?

• 6:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's my heart, my heart goes out to, you know, I'm here in LA. So just our community here, my heart goes out to all the people who are experiencing so much loss. It's, it is crazy. And like you said, shout out to all the firefighters, first responders, Pasadena Humane Society, everybody who's stepping up and just helping out in any way they can. That's been beautiful to see everyone rallying together here, for sure.

• 7:05Laci Mosley?

  And if you want to help California, donate locally. Do not give your money to the Red Cross or the Salvation Army. It's just gonna go to paying people salaries. I told y'all, those organizations are a scam. Like, mm, give your money locally. Go on some Instagrams and, and find out where people are donating locally and do that. Because that is helping the actual communities, especially Altadena, very big black community. Like, help where you can in specific ways. I know it's easy to just go donate to a big organization, but that coin ain't gonna come to these people. So let's try to be specific.

• 7:50Laci Mosley?

  But moving on, Danny, I have to ask you, cousin, what is your relationship with scams? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Have you ever been scammed? Have you run any scams that are past the statute of limitations? The F, the B and the I won't be knocking on your door? Like, what's good?

• 8:10Speaker 04

  Well, cousin, that brings up an uncomfortable feeling in my body, the word scam. It makes me feel, you know me, it's, it does make me feel uncomfortable, just the idea of being scammed, being involved in a scam, the idea of tricking people, manipulating.

• 8:28Laci Mosley?

  You do get uncomfortable with scams. I showed you a video.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  I get so uncomfortable.

• 8:33Laci Mosley?

  When we were shooting the corfball episode of Going Dutch with that woman who was doing the fake sign language.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Oh, that made me so, I think about that.

• 8:42Laci Mosley?

  And I was cackling and you were like, this is horrible.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  It's, ah, those are just really difficult for me to watch because I see what's happening and I know that in the moment that person is still doing the thing. And, oh, I don't know, it's just really hard for me to watch. So in terms of scams, my first relationship to scams is just being gen- generally uncomfortable.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Uh, that being said, yes, statute of limitations up. I thought of one, which I thought was like a fun, kind of playful scam that my brother uh, and I were involved in years ago when we were children. Church scam. We were, um, we were altar boys, not the best altar boys. And we grew up in this area and we went to, uh, we grew up Catholic and we went to this church and, and, uh, being altar boys, you, um, you always kind of hope for the weddings or funerals and things. You don't hope for funerals, but you do, you do hope for more weddings and funerals.

• 9:42Laci Mosley?

  That's our moment to shine. Somebody gotta get married. Wait, can I just say that at my grandfather's funeral? It wasn't Catholic, but it was such a small town in Texas. I don't even remember the name. We're next to Beaumont. It's like very small. It's a family business, the funeral home. So when we're like walking our like distraught relatives up to watch, like to see my grandfather's body and stuff, you know, they do the procession.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:13Laci Mosley?

  The person standing next to the casket was an eight-year-old in a suit.

• 10:20Laci Mosley?

  He was the one who opened the casket up. And I was like, why are you here? And he was like, I'm so sorry. He was the most professional eight-year-old I've ever seen.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  Family business? What was going on there?

• 10:32Laci Mosley?

  Because it's a small town, so the funeral home is a family business. So like you're saying as an altar boy, like an altar boy, he was standing up there in his little suit and he was like, I'm so sorry for your loss. He was so professional. Like, get this baby out of here.

• 10:49Speaker 04

  Oh my goodness.

• 10:50Laci Mosley?

  So you were, you were waiting on your moment?

• 10:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, but also that baby is like, uh, maybe I need to talk to that baby about how to handle my grief because I feel like that baby was, you know, had some, uh, had some gravitas.

• 11:02Laci Mosley?

  That was a professional baby.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  That was a professional.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  Oh my goodness.

• 11:08Laci Mosley?

  And people are falling apart screaming and crying and he's like, I'm so sorry. And he's in a clean cut suit, just he opened a casket.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  Passing out Kleenex, whoever needs Kleenex.

• 11:18Laci Mosley?

  I was like, why is this baby here? This is so unserious. But so you were an altar boy. So the biggest moments are the funerals and the.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Well, in certain ways, yeah, those are the most because you get tipped as an altar boy. You get a little bit of extra cash.

• 11:33Laci Mosley?

  Oh, we should have tipped the baby.

• 11:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think you're supposed to tip the baby. But, um, but that was always nice. But one of the things too, that we had to do is after, after church, we had to clean, sometimes to clean the church and we collect the bulletins. And there was this one specific time that I remember that, uh, we had, uh, these bulletins. They were also evidence. So there's this kind of thing with, with, with bulletins where you had to bring a bulletin home to your parents to prove that you went to mass. That's why, that's how they knew that you went to church. So.

• 12:06Laci Mosley?

  And I know your mama wanted them bulletin.

• 12:08Speaker 04

  She wanted proof, you know, that's it. And so you bring home the, you know, the bulletin from five holy martyrs and boom, you're, you're good for the day. That's, that's good. And so, but on the back of the bulletin, uh, there was a moment in time where they'd have all these advertisements, local businesses, right? And my brother and I discovered at one point that there was this place called Playball in Brighton Park. So I don't think it's around anymore, but it was batting cages and arcade and we loved it. And they started offering, uh, free tokens or like free gameplay, free batting cage time, like these little, uh, coupons on the back of the bulletin. So my brother and I were like, oh, this is great. So we took home our bulletins.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  We showed them to our mom and then we realized like, wait a minute, we have two of these. We cut these out. That's two. We're also involved as altar boys in cleaning up the church. Let's go back. So we go back to church. We start scooping up all the leftover bulletins. And then after every mass, we're going, we're collecting. We got like stacks of bulletins. My brother and I get home and my mom's like, wow, you guys are really loving church. We're like, well, yeah, we also have the stack of free tokens to play ball, which was great. So I thought that was kind of our nice, you know, moderate scam that we were involved in. I don't know what happened, how it ended. I don't know if we're the ones who put Play Ball out of business. I hope not. My apologies.

• 13:34Speaker 04

  Um, but I do know, I do know, like in my mind, for at least a week or two, uh, we got to play, we got to, we got to play a lot of Play Ball and we got a lot of batting cage time, thanks to those, uh, thanks to that scam. I think it was a healthy or a good natured fun kid scam.

• 13:51Laci Mosley?

  I think that's a good scam. I, you were cleaning the church for free. You were working for free for the Lord. So I, I think that's a good scam. Like that's not, I don't even consider that a scam. Y'all were just coming up. Like if they're advertising, they giving coupons, y'all use the coupons. Like I don't see a problem if it was just you two, you two brothers showing up. I'm sure at some point they were like, the Booty Brothers, keep coming here with these coupons.

• 14:20Speaker 04

  Uh, you know what? Thank you, Lacey. You've healed me now from that childhood trauma. That's one. Great. Appreciate that.

• 14:27Laci Mosley?

  I love it. I think that's great.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  I got that church guilt. I got that church guilt. You know what I mean?

• 14:32Laci Mosley?

  Well, it's the Catholic church. It's built in guilt. That's what you're supposed to do.

• 14:36Speaker 04

  Those are the memories, these core memories that just like stick with you and you're like, oh yeah, we did do that, you know?

• 14:42Laci Mosley?

  And they pop out sometimes. I just did a podcast and it was, uh, The Big Flop with Misha that I love. And it was about Tyra Banks and all these like flop businesses she had. And then every business that he named, for some reason, I, it was like a extraction of memories that I knew all about all the businesses. Like he taught, he talked about her book Model Land. Someone had that. When I was in middle school and we read some of it like I knew the like we did a little question answer portion where it was like, oh, what is this superpower of this model? And I knew all the superpowers. I knew everything. And I was like, oh, no, I learned how to put on my makeup from Tyra Banks. I learned how to

• 15:25Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 15:26Laci Mosley?

  Like if I had an audition in New York and it was last minute, I would go into Sephora and use all the samples because I learned that on Top Model. Like I was like, oh, no, I, I was one of the children.

• 15:41Laci Mosley?

  They were like, oh, she had this flop single Shake Your Body. And I was like, shake your body, body, move your body, body, dance, body. I was like, oh, no, I know.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  All lyrics?

• 15:52Laci Mosley?

  I know everything.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:54Laci Mosley?

  I was like, she, she got me and I didn't even know. So sometimes there's like childhood memories that are unlocked. And you're like, what the hell?

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Yes, definitely.

• 16:05Laci Mosley?

  It's not that far in the past.

• 16:11Speaker 05

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• 16:42Speaker 06

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• 17:27Speaker 00

  She'd throw things, wander, and started hoarding. Mom's Alzheimer's was already so hard. But then we found out she had agitation that may happen with dementia due to Alzheimer's disease. And that was a different kind of difficult. So we asked her doctor for more help.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  Seeing symptoms like these in a loved one? It could be time to ask their doctor about Rexulti, Rexiprazole 2mg, the first FDA-approved treatment for this condition. Rexulti is proven to reduce agitation symptoms. Rexulti should not be used as an as-needed treatment. Elderly people with dementia-related psychosis have increased risk of death or stroke. Report fever, stiff muscles, and confusion, which can be life-threatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. High blood sugar can lead to coma or death. Weight gain, increased cholesterol, unusual urges, dizziness on standing, falls, seizures, trouble swallowing, or sleepiness may occur. Learn more about these and other side effects at rexulti.com. Tap ad for PI.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  I'm glad I asked for help.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  Ask your loved one's doctor about Rexulti.

• 18:27Laci Mosley?

  But let's get into my favorite portion of this show, historic hoodwink. So this is where we will regale our audience with famous cons, capers, schemes. And I wanted to make this special for you, cousins. So we are doing a historic hoodwink. So it's gonna be like three different parts.

• 18:49Laci Mosley?

  It's all about shoplifting.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  Uh-oh.

• 18:53Laci Mosley?

  Which I think we need to talk about right now because y'all know that orange man is not gonna bring those prices down for you. He already said it's not his number one priority. He was like, "The border, but inflation, this corporate greed, later, later, later, later, later." Like, he's not gonna do it. So let's talk about shoplifting. Holiday shopping may be over, but one sale that's always happening, no matter the season, is the five-finger discount.

• 19:28Laci Mosley?

  Do you know what the five-finger discount is, Danny?

• 19:31Speaker 04

  It's stealing. It's taking things in your hand, right?

• 19:34Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 19:37Laci Mosley?

  I just feel like you're such a goody two shoes.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Theft.

• 19:40Laci Mosley?

  You might not.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  Oh, no. Like, yeah, uh, it's theft.

• 19:44Laci Mosley?

  You have both of your shoes. You're such a goody two shoes. I have one shoe and I just put it on each foot depending on who looking at me.

• 19:55Laci Mosley?

  But so today we'll review some recent highlights from the world of shoplifting. So let's start with the Lululeaders. So this is a Connecticut couple. They stole $1 million in Lululemon clothing in multiple state crime sprees this past fall.

• 20:18Laci Mosley?

  Can we zoom in on them? So we're looking at two members of the alleged shoplifting ring arrested. And they look very arrested. They look like...

• 20:30Speaker 04

  They don't look happy. They do not look happy.

• 20:33Laci Mosley?

  They were not expected to be caught today. And, and, and I love that the woman, one, the woman in the orange, she already, they gave her her jumpsuit. They photographed the man in the black in his clothes. They already done put the woman in her jumpsuit. Like, she going to prison, prison. She like, damn.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  So alleged, alleged, correct, but that's two members. Do they know how many members there were in this ring?

• 20:57Laci Mosley?

  There's more, for sure. And one thing that I've learned from one of my best friends who works in retail, um, she's an executive now. She like shot up. She like went from working in a store to like being an executive. She's very smart. And when she did work in retail on, on the ground, and I have also worked on the ground. I worked at Aeropostale, which is the scam of Abercrombie. Abercrombie?

• 21:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:28Laci Mosley?

  I said Abercrombie.

• 21:31Laci Mosley?

  I don't mean shit to me. But I remember working at Era Postale and their pricing model is we always have a sale. So it's a scam because the price is actually the sale price. But they put the 30% off or 40% off on the price tag so that you feel like you're getting a better deal than Abercrombie, right? But it's still like Era Postale. And I had a manager, she put me on the register because I was at first on the floor like folding stuff, I'm not good at folding.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  Folding is a talent.

• 22:11Laci Mosley?

  It's a talent. I'm not Marie Kondo.

• 22:14Speaker 04

  Folding and wrapping Christmas presents is such a talent and a skill that I wish I would have taken like a speed course on that.

• 22:22Laci Mosley?

  I wish, where's the TED Talk on folding? Because I need, I think I need one of them boards that they be selling to some, I was so bad at it, all my shirts would be like wrinkly on the side. You would think I was folding fitted sheets, but it was a shirt. And I was just bad, I was so bad. But I had, I had the riz though, so they were like, okay, well, she's not good at this, let's do, let's put her somewhere else. So they put me behind the register and that I thrived at. But I remember my manager there, she was like scrappy and she was nice, but she was like, yeah, you know, if you see people stealing, like one time I chased these girls out of the store because I saw they were stealing.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:07Laci Mosley?

  And she at the time was the manager of Rainbow. And if you don't know what Rainbow is, it was when Timu had a brick and mortar.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  What?

• 23:17Laci Mosley?

  Rainbow is, listen, I've shot that Rainbow, so this ain't no shade, it's ratchet as hell, like it's.

• 23:27Laci Mosley?

  Okay, like if if Timu had a brick and mortar, not even fashion, no, but that's a step up. It's it's it's like at the range of what, what's the next thing to Timu? It's like Timu and there's another bad store that's online. Jessica, what is it? Shein, now she spelled it like she in, she she in. Those are the like, that's the range of Rainbow. But they're marking it up more than Rainbow. But she was shot like working there. And she chased these people out of the store. And I said, baby girl, I would never chase nobody out of no dams. If I worked at Cartier, I wouldn't chase nobody out the store.

• 24:10Laci Mosley?

  But I damn sure ain't chasing nobody out the store at Rainbow. Like, what, they got some two dollar t-shirts? I don't care. But a lot of times, what I learned from my friend is that these shoplifting rings, they kind of feed into the drug cartel allegedly. I'm not saying that here, but you're stealing goods. You sell them because they're, you didn't pay anything for them. You sell them, it makes money. I don't know how it works, but I just know that somehow drugs get involved at some point. And I was like, okay, I didn't know that. That's wild. But so these are the Lululeuters.

• 24:54Laci Mosley?

  JD On Richards and Aquila Laws Richards. Okay, they married, ew, a union. So these people married with their wife. JD On is married with his wife Aquila. They were Jamaican dance hall influencers.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 25:12Laci Mosley?

  Pew pew pew. Influencer, yeah, influencing with his fit. Like, look at that shirt. It says dance hall.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  I like that shirt.

• 25:22Laci Mosley?

  It's colorful.

• 25:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:24Laci Mosley?

  I could see you in that shirt.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I actually would rock that shirt. It's a nice shirt, it's a good look.

• 25:28Laci Mosley?

  You kill it.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:30Laci Mosley?

  So, J Icon, that's J Dion, and Paparazzi Princess Apple, that's Akila, were each charged with one felony count of organized retail theft for stealing luxury athleisure in five different states. And they were charged for going state to state robbing them. We're gonna call them by their influencer names from this point, so you can follow along. They hit Lululemon stores in Connecticut, Colorado, New York, Utah, and Minnesota, where they were finally arrested after walking out of a store with forty-five items worth nearly five thousand dollars, cuz Lululemon ain't cheap.

• 26:10Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 26:12Laci Mosley?

  Police searched their hotel room and found a dozen suitcases with fifty thousand dollars worth of Lululemon clothes, price tags still attached. They were caught by an investigator for Lululemon, who is identified in court documents as the initials R P. R I B. The couple had a signature shoplifting technique.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 26:38Laci Mosley?

  Do you wanna guess what their technique was, Danny?

• 26:40Speaker 04

  So, there's two of them. So, one, it seems like they're, uh, pretty, I guess, um, uh, they're performers, right? So, they're comfortable with, like, performing. And so, I'm assuming that one did some distraction while the other did the theft. Is that kind of the idea?

• 26:57Laci Mosley?

  Let's see. Jay would go to a Lululemon store and buy one cheapish thing, like a seventy-eight-dollar t-shirt. At the same time, Princess and an unnamed accomplice would take a security tag off an item in the store using a special tool and attach it to the t-shirt Jay had paid for. Then Princess and the friends stuffed lots more expensive things under their clothes and walked out the doors just in front of Jay, setting off the security alarm. Jay would show his bag to Lululemon workers and say, "Oops, the t-shirt I paid for still has a security tag on it." Security would apologize, remove the tag, and turn off the alarm,

• 27:42Laci Mosley?

  leaving Princess and the accomplice to get away unnoticed.

• 27:47Speaker 04

  Wow. Okay, so I just read this book called The Art Thief. This is, sorry for pivoting here, but it was incredible like story about these, this couple that did these big art heists together. And yeah, the, it just makes me so nervous. It just makes me so nervous, thinking about all the things that could potentially go wrong in that scenario, right? You're relying on the timing and nobody else looking. Yeah, this makes me really nervous. It feels very cinematic to me watching this all play out.

• 28:20Laci Mosley?

  I don't feel like in this economy, though. Like, jobs don't care about you. So it's like, they're gonna do their job so they can keep their job, but they're only gonna do that much. So they're not like Benson and Stabler. They're not gonna really look into the case. The alarm went off, he was there, he has a receipt for his shirt, and they're like, okay, case closed. Wrap it up.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 28:51Laci Mosley?

  The couple would take the stolen items to another store to exchange them without a receipt for different items worth more than what they had stolen, right? And the couple would pay the difference, prompting the store to issue them an actual receipt. Then they would take the new items and the newly obtained receipt to a third store to return everything for a full refund.

• 29:17Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 29:18Laci Mosley?

  This is a job. Like, this is employment. In three months, Jay and Princess made off with about a million in Lululemon apparel with this technique, according to the RP investigator. On November 13th alone, RP documented thefts at five different stores in the Minneapolis area. He was just following them. They didn't notice.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 29:43Laci Mosley?

  After their arrest, Jay was released on a hundred thousand dollars bail. Princess was released on thirty thousand dollar bail. So women, okay, we still got some rights. They each face up to fifteen years in prison and a thirty five thousand dollar fine. That's not too bad. And they scam Lululemon, a company that has a number of public scandals as well. The founder of Lululemon has a history of anti-Asian rhetoric, sexist, and fat-phobic comments. And last year slammed the company's diversity and inclusion thing, which I know people who are influencers for Lululemon,

• 30:24Laci Mosley?

  who are diverse and inclusive and Asian. So not great. In 2020, critics pointed out the hypocrisy in the billion-dollar-valued company encouraging consumers to take a stand against capitalism while the company itself profits off capitalism. Lululemon hosting a workshop to resist capitalism while selling up to a hundred eighty-dollar yoga pants is peak 2020. They said George Floyd, but also hundred twenty-dollar leggings for freedom. How do you feel about that?

• 31:00Speaker 04

  Uncomfortable. I think, you know, it's sad. I think all of this, it's really, really sad. I feel sad for the couple who was...

• 31:14Laci Mosley?

  Jay and Princess?

• 31:16Speaker 04

  Yes, for going, whatever they, it just felt like what they were going through to, I guess, feel desperate enough to be going through all this. And it's also like, one of those things where I'm always like, I think that I always think that you just, like, people don't really have a plan. And it's wild to me to see things that are just so thought out as well. You know, that are just like, this is just like a detailed... Heist, you know, it's like Ocean's Eleven that they have actual like plans that are so detailed that yeah, they're they're very good at what they did, you know? But I don't know, all the other stuff just makes me really sad and uncomfortable.

• 31:59Laci Mosley?

  It feels like a profession to me. Going to three different stores to get the grift off? Y'all are working hard.

• 32:06Speaker 04

  Also across country. Going across country, I mean.

• 32:10Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, there were in five different states like that is a job. I'm not going to five different states to scam Lululemon. That's that's exhausting to me.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  What I always think about with with heists like this that keep going and get progressively bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger is what is that end game? You know, what's the end game? Do people have an end game? And I that to me is just an interesting thing to think about, you know?

• 32:38Laci Mosley?

  I don't know if they do have an end game. I mean, you look at retail stores today. I mean, even just look at Walgreens, CBS.

• 32:49Laci Mosley?

  I went to a Walgreens the other day to pick up a prescription and the orange juice was locked.

• 32:56Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:57Laci Mosley?

  The orange juice.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  I know my razor blades are locked.

• 33:03Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we know we can't get Gillette.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  I can't get Mach three.

• 33:06Laci Mosley?

  Getting the best man we can get to come unlock it. But orange juice.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  Was it like in the fridge? So the refrigerator was locked or was it on like shelf stable or just oh, wow.

• 33:19Laci Mosley?

  It was in the fridge. It was a tiny Tropicana.

• 33:24Laci Mosley?

  Just just said eye contact solution. Everything is locked up and it's like if you find an employee, they mad at you to come unlock it. It's like y'all locked everything up. We why aren't y'all just standing by the aisle with the key? Cause you know, we gonna come like what what is going on? And you have insurance against theft. So this is just ridiculous.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  I don't know. I have empathy for for all people. I stole baseball cards when I was when I was younger and I remember that whole experience being terrifying and then my mom I got caught and my mom had to come and pick me up and it was like devastating. Just devastating. Um, just to be like-

• 34:07Laci Mosley?

  What was your end game with the baseball cards?

• 34:09Speaker 04

  There was no end game. There was no end game. There was none. It was just like, get the cards, get home, maybe you'll make it?

• 34:17Laci Mosley?

  It was just a fun time. You're like, it's just a fun time.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  It was really scary though. I got caught in the grocery store. Uh, and, you know, but just seeing the look on my mom's face, I was like, oh man, this is rough. This is rough. There's really, there's really not much storytelling you can do. You know, your riz doesn't really come in handy when your mom is like, standing next to a security guard.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  In a store, and you're like, yeah, I did it.

• 34:42Laci Mosley?

  Danny, you could have ran. You went with the guy. I'm sure he tapped you on the shoulder and was like, "Hey buddy, we see what you're doing." I was like, "I haven't left the store yet. I still could pay." Get out of my face.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  I probably should have, like, improvised my way out of there a little bit, but no, no.

• 34:59Laci Mosley?

  You're such a great improviser.

• 35:02Speaker 04

  Not in that moment. The guilt, all of it, everything, everything just, I fell apart immediately.

• 35:08Laci Mosley?

  You gave yourself up too fast.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  Immediately.

• 35:11Laci Mosley?

  You could have scammed harder. You could have been like, "I haven't left the store, so how do you know I'm not gonna pay just because they're in my pants?" Yeah, they're in my Lulu Women underwear, but you don't know if I'm gonna pay for them. That's why I like to keep my stuff when I shop.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  They held him really well. That's where I put my upper deck baseball cards, right there.

• 35:28Laci Mosley?

  I'm shopping. I gotta get bananas and other stuff. My hands gotta be free. What do you mean?

• 35:34Speaker 04

  That's right. I'm anti-pocket. What?

• 35:40Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they're in my butt crack. What about it?

• 35:44Laci Mosley?

  That's where I keep stuff while I'm shopping. Now get out of my face.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Lacey, cousin Lacey, where were you when I needed you? Back in, back in the nineties, when I was a delinquent.

• 35:58Laci Mosley?

  Danny, I wasn't born.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  Thank you. Thanks so much, Lacey, cousin Lacey.

• 36:04Laci Mosley?

  I was, I was born in the very early nineties. I was there, but I was a baby. I couldn't do nothing. I thought about you though.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Think about that eight-year-old that was helping people grieve. You could have helped me.

• 36:15Laci Mosley?

  You're right. I should have toddled my baby ass over there and told you what to do.

• 36:19Speaker 04

  You should have told me. You saw my future. You should have, I mean, right away.

• 36:23Laci Mosley?

  I mean, your future is quite bright. It's been very bright. So, you know.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:29Laci Mosley?

  I love that you're slowly divulging these little scam stories throughout. Like, Diddy obviously might be a little bit of a scammer himself. Because he was like, I don't know. Let me try to reach for something. Now he's like, I got caught in the store stealing baseball cards. My mom had to pick me up. Like, where was that in the beginning?

• 36:50Laci Mosley?

  Robbery.

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• 38:19Speaker 01

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• 39:09Speaker 02

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• 39:18Laci Mosley?

  So let's move on to our next scam story. We're talking about Marlena Velez. Tik Tok Target haul. I love Target. I had to stop shopping there and I think everyone stopped collectively at the same time. And Target was doing so much corporate greed that they came out and basically were like, okay, y'all, we gonna lower the prices because of the economy and we want to help y'all. And it's like, no, we know that y'all were marking this shit up. And we stopped going over there because you couldn't buy an apple from Target. It was $500. Like I would go into Target, try to get a toothpaste. And Target does so many strategic things to scam your brain.

• 40:02Laci Mosley?

  First of all, next time you walk into a Target, Target sponsor the show. I love Target.

• 40:13Laci Mosley?

  You walk in there, next time you walk into a Target. Have a sensory experience and listen to how quiet it is in there. They don't let the employees talk. It's quiet. It's very bright. There are lots of things that are colorful that you'll see right when you walk in on the like kind of grab and go aisles like it's almost like a Ross. You know, when you go into a Ross and they have like the oldest candy you've ever seen. You've never seen this brand in your life, but it's in the aisle when you're going up to the

• 40:48Speaker 04

  Neko wafers?

• 40:49Laci Mosley?

  Mm hmm.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 40:50Laci Mosley?

  Neko wafers, some type of like. Um, what's that candy that's like buttery, but it's got like nuts in it?

• 41:02Speaker 04

  Werther's, right? Butterscotch? No.

• 41:04Laci Mosley?

  No, but you're close. It's buttery and it's got nuts in it and it's like.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 41:11Laci Mosley?

  It's sometimes it's covered in chocolate and nuts and then in the inside it's like a hard buttery like thing that you eat. I, I can't think.

• 41:21Speaker 00

  A hundred grand bar?

• 41:23Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 41:23Speaker 00

  One hundred grand bar?

• 41:24Laci Mosley?

  Just not one hundred grand bar. It's, it's hard and buttery in the inside. I know exactly what I'm talking about. I can see the wrapper, but I can't tell you what it is. Basically, it's like a praline.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 41:37Laci Mosley?

  But like a hard praline. I don't know how to dis- y'all are gonna yell at the microphone or your headphones or your computer.

• 41:44Speaker 00

  Butterfinger? Is it Butterfinger?

• 41:46Laci Mosley?

  Oh yeah, it's not Butterfinger.

• 41:51Laci Mosley?

  It's harder than that. It's crunchy hard. It's, it's like right into the shell of a candy apple and it's.

• 42:00Speaker 04

  What?

• 42:02Laci Mosley?

  Google it. It's, it anyways, they have those types of things there, right? At like Target has those like bright plates and stuffed animals and shit you don't need just right there when you get there. And then it's quiet. You came in there. For some Sensodyne toothpaste. That's all you needed. Maybe a few rolls of toilet paper. Maybe a four pack. You're single, a four pack. You got a family, you can go ahead and get the sixteen. That's all you came for. You will leave with so much stuff. Because it's quiet. You're like, I did need a Nutri Blender.

• 42:46Laci Mosley?

  I did need an air fryer. I did need.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  I can use all that. I've, I've, I've walked out of that store with the strangest combination of items. Eh, including a Sensodyne toothbrush, dryer sheets, a lamp, and like, an air filter.

• 43:05Laci Mosley?

  That Home Goods section of the kitchen, it looks so cute. I'm like, I wanna live here.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  It's, and you think you're just gonna go, yeah, it's the same. You think you're gonna go there for just a couple of, of, of daily goods, daily items. And you walk out with, with a whole new aesthetic.

• 43:19Laci Mosley?

  Target has a good thing going, but they up them prices too much. And I once went grocery shopping in Target because it was just the closest thing to my house and I was tired. If I had gone to any regular grocery store, I probably would have paid a hundred eighty bucks for what I got. I paid like five hundred. Everything was marked up so high. And so now they're like, hey, girls, we're not gonna scam y'all no more. Target sponsored the show.

• 43:52Laci Mosley?

  But they, they were scamming. The prices were so inflated for things that you could get at a regular grocery store. What is happening? So, Marlena Velez, let's get back to her. Also in November last year, a Florida mom, Florida. Y'all know how to do crime the best. You get caught, which I enjoy, but you know how to do it the best. Also, Florida like releases all their like criminal information more readily than any other state. Like you can find names, faces, what they did, where they did it. Like Florida's like, look, we know y'all ratchet.

• 44:35Laci Mosley?

  We will air you out, but we also will let you cook. So just don't get caught.

• 44:42Laci Mosley?

  So in November, this Florida mom, Marlena, she got caught shoplifting $500 worth of items from Target. Honestly, not that much. For how much Target was charging, not that much. But she wasn't brought down by Target's Secret Service or anything. She just posted a video of the haul on TikTok and the internet did its thing. First of all, internet, y'all a bunch of haters. She shouldn't have posted her crimes to TikTok. I don't understand this new age where everyone needs to go viral. I don't understand why people can't just have normal jobs. I don't understand why y'all want to be in entertainment. It's a bad job.

• 45:27Laci Mosley?

  Danny and I did not choose it. It chose us.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:33Laci Mosley?

  And we're here and we're doing the best we can. I was telling my therapist yesterday, Danny, that I look up to you so much because you go do brilliant work in this entertainment industry. And then you go home to your family and you live a normal ass life. One day you might be at, you know, whatever famous event with a bunch of other famous people. And then I remember you went to some famous fucking, I'm not going to say too much about it because I don't want to give it away, but like you went to some famous event, the sporting event. And I remember you got into the car with me and you was just talking about the grass. And I'm like, nigga, I saw you on TMZ.

• 46:18Laci Mosley?

  And you were like, you know, you would never believe how green this grass was. And it was real grass. And I'm like, what?

• 46:25Speaker 04

  It was very green grass. They used LED lamps to help grow. I was fascinated.

• 46:30Laci Mosley?

  You were in the owner's box and you didn't say anything about that. You were just like, but you would never believe this grass, the grass. Like what they did to it. I was like, what?

• 46:40Speaker 04

  I, I still need to know because we have patches in my yard and we've, we've fought. We've added some, some rye. We've, we've, I fought this grass and I've been trying to get this St. Augustine to do something better. You know, to be better, you know, and it's, it's just not, it's just not. And I don't know if it's because of the dog peeing on it all the time. I don't know if it's just the

• 47:02Laci Mosley?

  The ammonia from the dog pee.

• 47:03Speaker 04

  Lack of like, yeah, it could be that. It could be the, uh,

• 47:06Laci Mosley?

  You got a crap grass?

• 47:08Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't know. It's just, no, just patches of just like dirt where just the grass stopped growing. It just stopped. It was just like,

• 47:14Laci Mosley?

  You see how passionate he got about the grass?

• 47:18Speaker 04

  See what I mean? So this, this all tracks, but yes, Lacey, perhaps talk to your therapist if you can next time about me and my grass thing.

• 47:26Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 04

  Let's find out about that.

• 47:28Laci Mosley?

  I will bring that up and be like, do you know about this?

• 47:33Laci Mosley?

  This is like, I'm, I'm shooting in the favor. Like we gotta, we gotta figure this out.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Help me out.

• 47:38Laci Mosley?

  This will help me and my piece if we figure out Danny's grass. But like, so you know, like normalcy.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Balance. I like abnormalcy and I, I try, I fight for balance because I know freak, I mean, I used to frequently, but I don't like the feeling of being unbalanced. I don't like that feeling in my body and I don't like putting too much into something because I feel like it just kind of gets my anxiety going. And so I feel like balance helps me feel calmer and kind of feel like, okay, it gives me perspective. It's good.

• 48:12Laci Mosley?

  I want balance so bad. I'm so bad at it.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  I mean, I gotta fight for it. I think.

• 48:17Laci Mosley?

  I'm trying to get better.

• 48:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:19Laci Mosley?

  I'm fighting for it. I'm fighting for it.

• 48:21Speaker 04

  It's fighting. It's, yeah, it's fighting and like finding like for me, I know I have to have a routine, otherwise you know, that, that routine helps me find that balance.

• 48:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. And, and, and the industry where routine is hard because then people throw things at you and it's like, oh, well.

• 48:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:36Laci Mosley?

  I had to figure out that routine for me isn't regimented like everyone else. Like, I get up at this time, I do this. It's like, I just have to make sure I do these three things each day. I don't know when they're gonna get done, but they're gonna get done because they have to. That's all I can do. That's my balance. Everyone, like, people who get up early in the morning, it's a scam. They ruin a society. I don't know why we let them run shit. Early risers, people who can't function on four hours of sleep. Nah, fuck them. Like, find, find your balance. Find what works for you and your own routine, and even if that has to change day to day, depending on what you're doing, like,

• 49:20Laci Mosley?

  find it, whatever it is for you. And if you're one of those regimented people, that's fine too, okay? Make your coffee, put your water in your gallon, and it's like, by 3pm, I gotta drink this much. Whatever it takes, would do it. I'm not, I know it sounded judgy, cuz I'm hating on y'all a little bit, cuz I wish I could do that. But, I'm happy for y'all. So, let's get back into Marlena's story here. The reason I was saying that, this tangent, was because the point of it, too many of y'all out here are trying to go viral, and you think that 15 minutes of fame is gonna change your life, and your bank account, and your income, and in some cases, it does.

• 50:03Laci Mosley?

  In a lot of cases, you just lose your job or your license. So, don't, if you're a nurse, you don't need to be dancing next to the bed. You don't, like, just be a nurse. If you're a dentist, you don't need to be on a hoverboard. Just fix the teeth.

• 50:21Laci Mosley?

  Y'all wearing me out.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  I, I kinda wanna see my dentist on a hoverboard.

• 50:29Laci Mosley?

  You don't, you don't wanna see him on a hoverboard?

• 50:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe I don't. I don't.

• 50:33Laci Mosley?

  No, you don't. I, I've had scamming ass dentists. I had one who put his foot up on the table to pull my tooth out, and I was like, in Beverly Hills.

• 50:44Laci Mosley?

  I didn't know what was going on, but it was, he already had the pliers in my mouth. What was I gonna do?

• 50:51Speaker 04

  Sometimes with medical procedures, they are way more primitive than you think.

• 50:56Laci Mosley?

  It wasn't supposed to be like that, cuz the next time I had to have a tooth pulled, cuz I had all my wisdom teeth. I I went, it was like, one was like corrupt. And I went and it was a better dentist. And I was like, oh, are you?

• 51:13Laci Mosley?

  I was like, oh, is it time for you to put your foot on the table?

• 51:19Laci Mosley?

  Rip it out?

• 51:20Speaker 04

  Cousin Lacy, no. Cousin Lacy, no. Foot on the table.

• 51:24Laci Mosley?

  He looked at me so.

• 51:26Speaker 04

  I got Cousin Lacy, I got a dentist for you. Cousin Lacy, I got you.

• 51:29Laci Mosley?

  He looked at me so horrified. He was like, what?

• 51:34Speaker 04

  What have you been through?

• 51:37Speaker 04

  What?

• 51:38Laci Mosley?

  And I was like, he had Balenciaga pillows. I thought he was a good dentist.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  You should never see your dentist's shoes or feet. Like, no.

• 51:48Laci Mosley?

  If you see a dentist showing feet, you got, run.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  No.

• 51:53Laci Mosley?

  Run.

• 51:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, get out. Well, yeah, take whatever, yeah, take the, take the bib off and get out of that chair.

• 51:58Laci Mosley?

  He dead now. I talked about that on the podcast. He dead and then they told us he was dead by saying like, y'all keep y'all cleaning appointments. That's what he would have wanted.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Oh, my goodness. I had a great dentist once that would give me a cookie every time I was waiting in the lobby.

• 52:19Laci Mosley?

  A cookie? He trying to fuck your teeth up again.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  And I, and I was like, this is interesting. I'm like, I'm literally about like, cause you know how you do that speed clean before you go to the dentist?

• 52:27Laci Mosley?

  Of course.

• 52:27Speaker 04

  Where you do what? You floss twice?

• 52:28Laci Mosley?

  It's like you pre-clean your house before the cleaner come.

• 52:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:30Laci Mosley?

  Like.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Same thing. You do that. So I floss like twice. You know, get the blood out, swish it around. And then I get to the dentist's office and then he was giving me cookies. And he's like, you know, we had cookies here if you want. And I'm like, I can't. And it, you know, and they were fresh baked. So I was like, all right, I'll have a cookie. Cause I was like, if he's cool with it, then it's fine. I can't, he can't blame my, my eating habits. It's now on him, right?

• 52:53Laci Mosley?

  Customers. So it was like.

• 52:55Speaker 04

  And I was like, but then I was like, yeah. Then I was like, wait, is this? I don't know if that was a good, good idea, but man, the cookie tasted really good. It also made, it kind of alleviated any of my own sort of like. Uh, are my teeth gonna be okay? Did I brush enough right before this? Cause I was like, whatever. No, no, you said.

• 53:11Laci Mosley?

  I hate going to the dentist. I'm so sorry. Every time I go is, is, I don't know if I'm a magnet for just chaos. But the last time I went to get a cleaning, the little like spewy brush thing that shoots the water was broken.

• 53:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:26Laci Mosley?

  And so it was, she was cleaning my teeth and it was shooting all over my face. And she was cleaning my teeth. She was like, we gonna get it fixed tomorrow. I'm like, bitch, I'm here today. What, what, how is that gonna help me?

• 53:40Speaker 04

  I never know. Like, you know how they put that thing in there and it'll suck the water out? And I'm just like collecting water. Cause I drink so much water. So I'm just like, there's just like so much water.

• 53:49Laci Mosley?

  He drinks a lot of water.

• 53:50Speaker 04

  I love water. I drink so much water and I'm just like collecting a gallon of water there. And I'm like, do I just like swish it on there? But I like, how much do you put in there? I'm like ready to break their, their pipes there with all that water. And sometimes, you know, they don't get in there enough. Yeah. Anyways, that's my, my own dentist thing. I just, I don't know the rules for that.

• 54:07Laci Mosley?

  I don't either. But the point is y'all, just do your job like God called you to do, uh, to be a plumber. They make great money. You know, sanitation engineers make great money. If you're a hater, get out there and get in the parking enforcement. And do your job. You don't have to film it. Like, I don't know what's happened to us, but you do not have to film it. So we're getting back to Marlene at Target. Target employees noticed that a woman in a tan shirt and tan pants and glasses was picking up 16 items throughout the store. Then would scan fake barcodes with cheaper prices at the self-checkout. I'm not mad at that.

• 54:46Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 54:47Laci Mosley?

  So Cape Coral police posted the security camera footage to their social media accounts to seek the public's help. And an anonymous tipster recognized Marlene Velez. That's a hater. I'm sorry. If the police are like, help us find this person. Don't help them. Let, let that person be. Like, why are you helping the police? Do their jobs. And nowadays with social media, that's how January 6th happened. That's how everybody got in jail. It was like, the FBI was like, can y'all tag them? Who is this? Like, who in this video? Like, what? In that case, do help them, but they getting out anyway. But. The same day of the theft, Marlene had posted a video, day in the life of his, like, as a mom,

• 55:29Laci Mosley?

  to her three hundred and fifty thousand TikTok followers. The video did not explicitly show shoplifting itself, but police were able to piece together the clues by using the date the video was posted, the items purchased in the video, and her tan shirt and tan pants and glasses. She didn't change clothes. God damn it, Marlene. She was arrested and charged with petty theft. Marlene's TikTok video has been taken down, but the Cape Coral Police Department reposted part of it on their own Facebook reel. The internet wins again. Sleuthing schemers. I don't like this. Y'all could have left that lady alone. She honestly has influenced me not to steal from Target. I never sold from Target, but I do get tempted when I'm in self-checkout,

• 56:14Laci Mosley?

  because I'm like, I work here now, so I need wages, so I should be able to steal this salmon filet. I should be able to steal these flanks, like, I should be able to steal something, because I work here. It's not stealing. These are my wages. You're making me, I'm like, doo doo, doo doo. I don't work here!

• 56:34Speaker 04

  You don't like self-checkout? You don't like the noise? You don't, doesn't give you that, any of that ASMR of being able to scan something?

• 56:40Laci Mosley?

  It makes me feel like a kid. We used to pretend to be at a grocery store.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:43Laci Mosley?

  It does. And I think they know that, but I don't like that.

• 56:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:47Laci Mosley?

  Because I don't work there. I'm supposed to put my shit on the conveyor belt. Somebody's supposed to ask me paper or plastic, and that's it. That I'm not supposed to be working there, and if I work there, I should be able to steal. It's not stealing if I work there, because I, it's my job now. That's, that's employee way. So we saw her picture. Let me get her picture up again. She's cute. She's cute!

• 57:14Speaker 04

  The initial picture that you showed too, um, I'm, I'm pretty positive my grandfather had those glasses. And so that's- And I loved them. Like, I loved them. He was, they were just so, they're, they're, they're great, so.

• 57:29Laci Mosley?

  Tell your grandfather those glasses are back. Let's see this TikTok video of her in the beige. I wanna see, she got some video. Oh, this is the police that posted this, arrested for theft.

• 57:42Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 57:43Laci Mosley?

  Oh, some words, whatever. Boo. Not entertaining. The police should have danced. Boring.

• 57:53Speaker 07

  Sometimes they'll ask us to put out an attempt to identify because the community knows a lot more people than we do, right? They're your neighbors, maybe you went to high school or something with them. And so we actually had one person reach out on Instagram and say, hey, I wanna remain anonymous, but here's their name and date of birth.

• 58:08Laci Mosley?

  Date of birth!

• 58:09Speaker 04

  And date of birth!

• 58:10Speaker 07

  We were able to look up her social media and even find on TikTok, she posted a video that day of herself going to Target, buying these items and then taking them home with her. Everything was documented, even the outfit that she wore. It shows like her getting ready with the outfit and even her glasses and all of that matches in the TikTok with the attempt to identify photo that we put out. We really wanna thank the community for all the input and information.

• 58:36Laci Mosley?

  We don't wanna thank the community. I hate the community. Um, this is...

• 58:42Speaker 04

  Date of birth.

• 58:42Laci Mosley?

  This is why you have to be nice to people in high school. If you're in high school listening to this, which you shouldn't, we have an explicit rating, but be nice to people. If she was beloved and kind, nobody would have snitched. This was a hater. This was somebody she did something mean to. She snubbed him one day. They asked her to borrow a pencil. She had three pencils sitting on her desk and she said no. And then they turned her into the police. Like, you gotta, you gotta be kind.

• 59:13Speaker 04

  I, I'm also like realizing, like, I don't know most of my friends' birthdays.

• 59:20Laci Mosley?

  That's what I'm saying. Like, this person looked up her birthday and like...

• 59:24Speaker 04

  That's had to be that, yeah.

• 59:25Laci Mosley?

  That's peak hater. You wanted this person to get caught so bad that you looked up their birthday. You were like, here's her name. That wasn't enough for you. You were like, let me go get some information, some forensics on the bitch. Here's her birthday, this her blood type, this her zodiac sign, like, like, what? That, that's a hater. So our last thief in this episode, we're talking about Andrew Lippi, private island owner and Kmart shoplifter. Put those together. Private island owner owns a private island.

• 1:00:07Laci Mosley?

  Also shoplifts from Kmart. It's giving Renona Ryder. It's giving that episode of Family Guy where Lois was stealing and smoking hella cigarettes in her car like, yeah, like you were just doing this for the thrill. That's what's giving me.

• 1:00:22Speaker 04

  We are large. We contain multitudes, right? Is that the Whitman quote? Um, yeah, the thrill. There's a, there's a thrill in us, deep in us, a primal thrill, right?

• 1:00:31Laci Mosley?

  Primal.

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  It has to be activated sometimes.

• 1:00:33Laci Mosley?

  We're animals and we need to shoplift.

• 1:00:39Laci Mosley?

  Listen, the time that I stole my, I was on punishment for not cleaning my room, which my parents were very strict, so it was like a huge deal. And we had nannies and, and housekeepers and they, my mom would never let them clean my room. Like I had to do that myself. Like I had to, and I didn't do it. And she also had found, like I had gotten a TV and a VCR. Yeah, VCRs, guys. I was a kid.

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. Blockbuster Video. Let's go.

• 1:01:10Laci Mosley?

  And there was a box of tapes in the laundry room, so I just took them all upstairs. And there was this one that looked like SNL, like, so I was like, oh, I'm a comedian. Like I already knew I was a comedian. So I was like, oh, I want to watch this. I put it in and the guy was like, hey y'all, I'm Arsenio Balls.

• 1:01:33Laci Mosley?

  Went down to his pelvic area and his balls and his penis.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 1:01:41Laci Mosley?

  Arsenio Balls. And I was like, what?

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  No, cousin.

• 1:01:49Laci Mosley?

  I know. So I took the, I, I watched a little bit of it because I was curious. And then I took the tape out and I put it under my bed. So then my mom came to my room. It was already messy. So she's mad. And then she sees the tape under the bed and she's like, you've been watching porn? And I was like, y'all had, this, I, this is not my fault. Like I, I didn't go seek this out.

• 1:02:12Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:02:15Laci Mosley?

  The next day I had to go to camp, like sleepaway camp. So, my parents let me go to sleepaway camp because they already paid for it. But they didn't give me any spending money because they were mad at me. So, I had to go to sleepaway camp like with no money and I was mad about it. And we went to this shop that had like ice creams and soda pops and that was all paid for. So we had ice creams and soda pops, but they had all these kind of gifts and trinkets. I started stealing in there like a motherfucker.

• 1:02:46Laci Mosley?

  Putting everything in my pockets. I was stealing so bad. And I was good at it. It felt good. It felt so good. And on the walk home, I was wearing glasses at the time. I wear contacts, but I was wearing glasses at the time. And there were all these birds that kept flying over. And I was like feeling like a badass and I was with my kid friends. And I was like, fuck you birds. And one of them pooped right on my glasses.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  And they were nature, being like, don't get too confident.

• 1:03:16Laci Mosley?

  Yep, and then when I washed them, they broke. And I was like, oh what the hell? And then I got home and I was still on punishment after the sleepaway camp. So, my mom took away everything I stole. She didn't know I stole it, but she took it away and I was like, that's karmic retribution, like.

• 1:03:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, karma, that's karma.

• 1:03:36Laci Mosley?

  So, if you get picked up in the store like you did Danny, or if you get picked up by your mom like you did Danny. I got picked up by my mom too. She took everything I stole. She didn't even know I stole it. She probably did know I stole it because she was like, I didn't give you no money. How did you come home?

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's like, where did, yeah, where did this collection come from?

• 1:03:56Laci Mosley?

  But it felt good, it was high, it was high.

• 1:03:59Speaker 04

  Do you think your mom sent that bird?

• 1:04:00Laci Mosley?

  She probably did send that bird. My mom's a witch. She probably did send that bird. I'm not even lying, like.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  Or is she into falconry? We don't know.

• 1:04:07Laci Mosley?

  Right, we know about falconry. Like, what are the odds that a bird poops on my glasses? Like.

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  On that day?

• 1:04:14Laci Mosley?

  While I'm trying to show off to my friends. And I didn't tell nobody I was a thief because you can't snitch on yourself. I don't know why y'all get on TikTok, I don't know. I didn't have TikTok at that time and I knew not to tell nobody I stole all that stuff. Like, I just kept it in my pockets and was just cocky and cussing at the birds. I didn't tell nobody I stole all that stuff from the soda pop store. Like, what is wrong with y'all?

• 1:04:38Laci Mosley?

  Don't tell nobody. So we're talking about the private island owner and shop lifter. A few years earlier, another Florida resident, because Florida. So this Florida resident made headlines for pocketing $300 worth of goods from a Kmart days after buying a private island for $8 million. Proving that just because you're a big spender doesn't mean you can't be a little shop lifter too. Thrifty. He said, look, I gotta save some money. I already spent $8 million on this island. I got a steal from Kmart. A hilarious place to steal from. Oh, my God, he looks so Florida. He got a Florida jawline. He's like, everybody at the country club, go see this.

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  What did he steal? Do we know?

• 1:05:22Laci Mosley?

  So let's see what he stole. He bought Thompson Island off of Key West in 2019 and also owned the Real World House on Key Haven. So when they were Real World, Key West, he owned that house. And it's just north of Key West where the MTV show shot, right? In 2006. And he charged them $3,000 a night to shoot there, right? A week after buying Thompson Island, which includes 8,700 square feet of estate and a helicopter landing pad, Andrew purchased an assortment of items, including LED lightbulbs,

• 1:06:05Laci Mosley?

  a multiple, like multiple coffee makers from a Key West Kmart, then returned them for a full refund. But the $55 Hamilton Beach coffee machine had been replaced with a much older model in the new box. And the box for the $150 Keurig machine was returned containing just a basketball. So he bought these things at Kmart. And then he came back and put other things in the box and then returned them and was like, I don't want this.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  So he like tore his ACL and was like, all right, well, we're done with that now.

• 1:06:42Laci Mosley?

  Right. Wow. But my thing is like, he put a real coffee machine in one box and then the other one, he just gave up and put a basketball in it? Like, sir, be serious.

• 1:06:54Speaker 04

  It's kind of like the, yeah, that's, uh, it's sort of like the Indiana Jones thing, right? So if you just put the same, the same weight of an item in a thing, no one will notice.

• 1:07:04Laci Mosley?

  He thought. And Andrew denied switching anything in the boxes, right? When arresting police officers asked Andrew about the Keurig basketball, he blamed Kmart return clerks for not noticing the Keurig box was way too light to contain a coffee machine. He was like, that's on y'all. Y'all should have known that it was a basketball. I don't know why y'all arrested me and not arresting them for not doing their job at Kmart.

• 1:07:31Speaker 04

  This guy, yeah. We, humans are amazing. I'm just gonna say that. Our ability to, to just do things that you can't predict is unlike any animal, right?

• 1:07:46Laci Mosley?

  And rationalize it.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  We're more unpredictable than anybody. We're, we can, we can convince, uh, we can convince others, we can convince ourselves of anything, right? It's, it's, it really is incredible. I love people. Man, I love people.

• 1:08:01Laci Mosley?

  He was like, y'all should have caught me in the Kmart. I don't know why y'all arrested me now. This is too late. Like, what? I, I love this for him and also like, why sir? Like you had eight million dollars. Now you, you don't have 300? What, what's going on? Andrew never admitted to the shoplifting, but called the incident a commercial dispute, saying, "It's very complicated and I'd rather not get into it." Ooh, that's rich man talk. I like that. He was charged with grand theft and issued trespass warnings to stay away from Kmart. Being banned from Kmart is very embarrassing. Like, Kmart? We don't know too much more about Andrew after his charges.

• 1:08:44Laci Mosley?

  And even if he still lives on Thompson Island, but we do know that when he originally bought this private island, he was reported to say, "I'm a pretty private guy. I try not to dangle out there." It seems like you're dangling, bro. It seems like you're dangling a little bit. And to wrap this up, I'm gonna give you guys a listener letter because I know it's been a long time since you've heard me. It's a very short one and I just want Danny's opinions on it. That's it. So, snitch on your friends, family and your enemies at [email protected]. Y'all have been sending me the letters. I'm gonna get through them, but this one was like

• 1:09:24Laci Mosley?

  short and sweet and we're already over time, so I'm gonna do this one. But I love you guys so much. Thank you for sticking with me. Y'all know I needed a break. It's been six years of dropping constantly, so mama needed a break. But so this is called Pastor and Car Salesman. And as an altar boy cousin, you, you, you know about priests and pastoring, but car sales? Anything?

• 1:09:54Speaker 04

  Not really, not so much, but so I'm willing to learn. Let's, let's see what we got.

• 1:09:58Laci Mosley?

  So Pastor Car Salesman, give me a fake name for this person, Danny. We don't care about gender.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  Pastor Car Salesman.

• 1:10:07Laci Mosley?

  They're talking about the Pastor Car Salesman. They're not the Pastor Car Salesman.

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  Oh, this is a fake name for the person talking about the Pastor Salesman?

• 1:10:13Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:14Speaker 04

  Okay. Anonymous, uh, anonymous generosity.

• 1:10:19Laci Mosley?

  Anonymous generosity. That is the most neutral name we've ever had on this show. What does that mean? I don't know. Ask Danny. Anonymous generosity says, Lacey Mosley, not my full government, it's spelled right. What you, you looking at me? Says, I ran across your show and all I could think about is what my husband and I have endured for the past few years from a so-called pastor, car salesman and my cousin. Not the cousins being involved. We cousins. What do we, what did we do?

• 1:10:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, we, how, we're wrapped into this now. All right.

• 1:10:56Laci Mosley?

  Oh, we're in it. So this guy, his wife and his mom plays a role in this. He continues to scam people out of their money, take cars from them after they have paid for them. He puts vehicles in other people's names and changes the VIN numbers. He scammed us out of a hundred and ninety thousand dollars. This needs to stop. Please reach out to me. Please, cuz this whole ordeal has been stressful. So, anonymous.

• 1:11:29Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:11:30Laci Mosley?

  I don't know what I can do.

• 1:11:32Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:11:33Laci Mosley?

  I will email you back, but being a pastor and then using that.

• 1:11:39Speaker 04

  Ah, that's tough. That's, yeah, I'm sorry, AG.

• 1:11:42Laci Mosley?

  To scam.

• 1:11:43Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, that's tough.

• 1:11:46Laci Mosley?

  Honestly, that's a wicked combination. Car salesmen are already like thieves who can suss you up. And then you got God on your side. You got the, you got the good book you waving around. Hmm.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's, uh, beyond me scratching out VIN numbers. I, I, yeah, I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry. That's, ugh.

• 1:12:07Laci Mosley?

  It's awful. I'm so sorry, anonymous. Danny, did you ever trust your priest? Would you let him buy a car off of you?

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

  So, ah, you know, when I was an altar boy, I was, I mean, that was a long time ago. Um.

• 1:12:23Laci Mosley?

  You weren't a car owning age.

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  I, I wasn't at a car, I was pre-car. Uh, I guess it would depend. I, like, my categories of, like, priests at the time were like, um, you know, Father Bill was great because he had the fastest mass. He did it in under forty-five minutes. You know what I mean? So it's like.

• 1:12:44Laci Mosley?

  Everybody's like, oh, Father Bill in the building. We gonna make the game. We gonna see the football game.

• 1:12:48Speaker 04

  This is gonna be go, go, go, go. Like, clip clop. This is gonna be great. Under an hour, we're home. Just make sure you grab that bulletin. Uh, so that's how I categorize priests. Yeah, I was.

• 1:12:58Laci Mosley?

  With the coupons.

• 1:12:59Speaker 04

  You know, um, so I don't know. I wouldn't say I was thinking about whether or not I would let them,

• 1:13:05Speaker 04

  you know, sell me a car. It was more just about like, uh, do I like this guy? And are they fast? And do they want to get us out of here with, with a message?

• 1:13:13Laci Mosley?

  Fast.

• 1:13:14Speaker 04

  Speed, speed priest.

• 1:13:16Laci Mosley?

  You weren't like, oh, the sermons were good. You were like, are they fast?

• 1:13:21Speaker 04

  Every once in a while, I'd be like, ooh, that sermon snuck up on me, you know?

• 1:13:26Laci Mosley?

  Are they tossing the Eucharist out like frisbees? Cause we have to go. Like, everybody pass the chalice around real quick. We have to leave.

• 1:13:37Speaker 04

  We gotta get it going. Come on, let's go. People have stuff, you know?

• 1:13:40Laci Mosley?

  We got football, we got...

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  The Bears are playing. I know. Let's go.

• 1:13:43Laci Mosley?

  Come on. Let's go. Yeah, I like, anonymous, this is a lethal combination. And I'm sorry about this. I will email you back. I don't know what I can do, but it's a lethal combination to have people praying on your faith and your livelihood at the same time. Like, that's absolute bullshit. And in this week of Scam Goddess, a television show on Freeform and Hulu, we will discuss a scamming pastor. So, um, I have very deep roots in the church as well, Danny. And we're gonna get into it. I wasn't an altar boy, but I'm Baptist. So, I sang in the choir and my grandfather was a deacon and, you know, stayed behind to count the money and do all the...

• 1:14:26Laci Mosley?

  And I was in the church three times a week, like, as a kid. So, very familiar with the church and I don't like things like this. I, I, the shoplifting stuff, I'm sorry, y'all. Y'all got insurance. Kmart will be fine. Target is more than fine.

• 1:14:47Laci Mosley?

  Y'all will be good. Target sponsored the show.

• 1:14:54Laci Mosley?

  That brings us to the end. Thank you so much for being here, cousin. We always ask at the end, where would you like to be found? What would you like to plug? Anything like that?

• 1:15:03Speaker 04

  Cousin Lacey, this has been a pleasure. Um, I had so much fun working with you on Going Dutch. Uh, check us out. We have new episodes coming out every Thursday. Fridays on Hulu. Um, look for me at, uh, at Daniel Pooty on Instagram. And, um, Mythic Quest new season comes out at the end of the month, too.

• 1:15:19Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Come on, two shows.

• 1:15:22Speaker 04

  I know, like, this is it. It's a wonderful, wonderful time.

• 1:15:25Laci Mosley?

  It is. And I'mma drop my two shows, too, y'all. Scam Goddess, Free Form on Wednesdays, next day on Hulu on Thursdays. It is more buttoned up than this show. I can't be as explicit, y'all. It's still a part of the division of ABC News, y'all. I would get sued, okay? We, we, we trying to fight the lawsuits. Y'all haven't donated enough to my abugado fund for me to be cussing on national television, so y'all need to understand. But that comes out Wednesdays on Free Form, next day on Hulu. And like Danny said, Going Dutch, Thursdays, Fox, and next day, Friday, on Hulu.

• 1:16:08Laci Mosley?

  We're both on that show together. And I went to Danny Pooty's School of Acting. It is a Ponzi scheme. I'm still paying. I need you guys to join a- and, and sell the product. Um, the product is just Danny's vibe, which is very, very good. You can sell it. It's, it's a very easy sell, door to door, like Caco knives. So, can you believe people used to go door to door with knives? And be like, hey, I got a bunch of knives. Can I come to your house? And that was like a thing that people allowed. Anyway, uh, my book is also still out, y'all. Get that. The, the signed copies are gone.

• 1:16:49Laci Mosley?

  I'm so sorry if you got one. Maybe see if they selling them on eBay, because I know they be scamming me, too. But I, my hand hurts. I will not sign personally, write letters in 200 books ever again. That was a scam that I did to myself, but... The books are still out here. There's so much knowledge in them and so many scams. And keep getting it. I appreciate all of the support and the love. You can find me at D I V A L A C I, Diva Lacy, if you want to see my shenanigans, if you want to see the photos from this episode, Scam Goddess Pod on Instagram. If you want to talk to me, Twitter, Scam Goddess Pod, as long as it's gonna be there. I'm never gonna call it X because I'm gonna call it what its mama named it. Congregation, stay scheming. Thank

• 1:17:33Laci Mosley?

  you so much for staying with me. And thank you so much, cousin, for being here. I really appreciate it.

• 1:17:38Speaker 04

  Thank you very much, cousin. And sorry, mom, for stealing. Love you.

• 1:17:49Laci Mosley?

  This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Scott Zani, and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is done by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.

• 1:18:10Speaker 06

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