MBMBaM 791: A Safe Space to Hurt Travis's Feelings

We've got all the headlines from Ozmopolitan Magazine! Someone you trust says Bigfoot is real! What should be on your life list? And where can you buy grown-up toothbrushes that sing to you? It's all the news you can use when you need to go out and touch Oz. Suggested talking points: Nature Pervert, Vampire Town is Real, Cones Around Cones, Defying Cavity, Sip the Wicked Giblets Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:09Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother Made Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:15Travis McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middlest brother Travis Big Talk Wolf who's room for McElroy.

• 1:20Griffin McElroy?

  And I'm your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, media luminary Griffin McElroy. I wasn't just doing like a cool librarian thing with my glasses. They were covered in boy smudges. They were covered.

• 1:29Travis McElroy?

  I don't think any way you thought you were.

• 1:30Griffin McElroy?

  They were covered in.

• 1:31Travis McElroy?

  Boy smudges again?

• 1:32Griffin McElroy?

  They were covered in lab grease because their hands are just always touching the glasses and.

• 1:39Travis McElroy?

  And they're always greasy.

• 1:40Griffin McElroy?

  And they are always, they are always greasy.

• 1:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Dot has the amazing ability to get stuff under her fingernails a millisecond after washing her hands.

• 1:50Griffin McElroy?

  It's really crazy how like I'll wash the boy hands and then the boy will play with model magic or some shit. Kinetic, kinetic, kinetic sand. And then they'll be right on there. They'll say, shit, wash the hands again. There's sand under it again. You didn't even touch the goddamn sand, guys.

• 2:07Travis McElroy?

  Thought about it.

• 2:08Travis McElroy?

  I tell you what is huge for this is food coloring.

• 2:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 2:11Travis McElroy?

  They don't tell you that's kid coloring too. That's on there for good.

• 2:14Griffin McElroy?

  Fingers.

• 2:14Travis McElroy?

  That you have dyed your child.

• 2:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yes. Travis, you had a, you had a pressing question.

• 2:20Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 2:20Griffin McElroy?

  I'd love to talk about dirty, dirty kid hands more, but you did have.

• 2:23Travis McElroy?

  Of course.

• 2:24Griffin McElroy?

  The damn juice. That was the coolest shit I've ever seen, man. Hold on, let me try it.

• 2:28Travis McElroy?

  Thanks, dude.

• 2:31Travis McElroy?

  Here.

• 2:31Griffin McElroy?

  No one did. I didn't get one for me. Oh, you, I'm on the other side.

• 2:35Travis McElroy?

  Charlie didn't bring you one.

• 2:37Griffin McElroy?

  Charlie, what the heck, dude?

• 2:39Travis McElroy?

  Sorry. Bye, dude.

• 2:40Griffin McElroy?

  Bye, dude.

• 2:41Travis McElroy?

  Thanks for the podcast juice.

• 2:43Griffin McElroy?

  So here's my question. My kids never bring me Dunkin' or anything.

• 2:49Travis McElroy?

  My kids bring me germs and stuff under their fingernails.

• 2:52Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 2:53Travis McElroy?

  So, close the door, Charlie. I'm making a podcast. Come on, babe.

• 2:58Griffin McElroy?

  This is when he works, Chuck.

• 2:59Travis McElroy?

  This is when I do my job.

• 3:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, Travis, your question.

• 3:04Travis McElroy?

  This is after watching like a lot of like, uh, stories about weird things happening to people, you know, and I, I like hearing those stories. And here's my question for you boys.

• 3:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:13Travis McElroy?

  I, in this hypothetical situation, I returned from a camping trip in the Pacific Northwest. Why was I camping? It's not important. And I tell you that while I was camping, I saw Bigfoot.

• 3:26Griffin McElroy?

  Would I believe you?

• 3:27Travis McElroy?

  Hear me out. He was 10, 15 feet away from me, right? So like, I didn't have my phone on me, but I saw him and I am clearly 100% sincere and confident. Not a bit. I'm not joking. I'm not exaggerating for the story. To what percentage do you now believe in Bigfoot?

• 3:50Griffin McElroy?

  I have to ask you a question.

• 3:52Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 3:53Griffin McElroy?

  And it's going to hurt your feelings.

• 3:56Travis McElroy?

  Fair enough.

• 3:58Griffin McElroy?

  And I don't want to do that on the podcast. I believe you.

• 4:01Travis McElroy?

  Can I just say, Trav, Grif, if I may?

• 4:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:05Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, this is a safe space. I promise you're not gonna hurt Travis's feelings with what you say. I'm saying that nothing you say is gonna hurt Travis's feelings.

• 4:13Griffin McElroy?

  This is a safe space. This is a safe space to hurt Travis's feelings.

• 4:18Travis McElroy?

  No, I don't. I mean, listen, I asked the question.

• 4:22Travis McElroy?

  I'm strong enough to hear this, Griffin. I'm strong enough to hear this.

• 4:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:26Travis McElroy?

  Whatever it is.

• 4:26Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so. If my, let me, let me tell you a story to answer your question. If my friend Reggie comes to me and they said, you're never gonna believe this, but they now serve buffalo wings at Taco Bell. And I say, that's fun Reggie, but show me your inner thigh. And he rolls up his pant leg and there's a tattoo of buffalo wings there. I'm going to say, well, buffalo wing Reggie, or whatever your name was, I already forgot. I am less inclined to believe you because clearly you are interested in the subject matter that you are weaving this sort of tale about.

• 5:06Griffin McElroy?

  Now, so Travis, if you went to the Pacific Northwest, came back, said, I believe in Bigfoot. And I know you're telling the truth, your truth.

• 5:15Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 5:17Griffin McElroy?

  But then I remember, what do you do have tattooed on your ribs?

• 5:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I have Loch Ness monster tattooed on my ribs, not Bigfoot.

• 5:25Griffin McElroy?

  No, I know that, but you can understand.

• 5:27Travis McElroy?

  And listen, all of this isn't gonna hurt my feelings. This is why I said it as a percentage, not yes or no, because I'm not asking someone comes to you. I'm asking, I come to you.

• 5:37Travis McElroy?

  Negative one.

• 5:39Travis McElroy?

  1% you believe in Bigfoot.

• 5:40Griffin McElroy?

  Negative one.

• 5:41Travis McElroy?

  Negative one.

• 5:42Travis McElroy?

  Negative one. Negative one, because the fact that you're doing it and so serious about it, it has in my mind assured me that it's a bit.

• 5:51Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:52Travis McElroy?

  So it's now a hundred percent a bit, you understand? I can't, I wanna, I, it's, it's like a hundred percent a bit, so that makes me believe even less. Because if someone was gonna find him, it would be you. But if you come to me and say you found Bigfoot, I am, that is my last little glimpse of hope going out.

• 6:09Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 6:10Travis McElroy?

  Because it is a bit.

• 6:11Griffin McElroy?

  I, first of all, we went on one hike once for a video and Travis has said, that sucks shit, I'm never doing it again. So I do think that.

• 6:18Travis McElroy?

  That's why I said the hypothetical, it doesn't matter why I do it, you can't take that part.

• 6:22Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, you can't let us not weigh in evidence based, I want this to be an evidence based sort of process.

• 6:28Travis McElroy?

  Fair enough.

• 6:29Griffin McElroy?

  You don't like being outside, I don't think you would be first on my list of likely Bigfoot locators.

• 6:36Travis McElroy?

  Fair enough.

• 6:36Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I think.

• 6:39Travis McElroy?

  I would assume it's a build up to a 50th birthday party for me. That would be where my, that would be my, that's a long, not as long as I'd like, but still a pretty long drift.

• 6:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:50Travis McElroy?

  Getting to 50.

• 6:50Griffin McElroy?

  Damn dude, if you wanna go. Traipsing about a caldera or something up in Oregon for your 50th birthday. I'm absolutely there, dude. You know that I'm there for you.

• 7:00Travis McElroy?

  If that is me at 50, do not let me make it to 51, please. Just shove me into a big ravine or something, because I'm getting my jollies, looking at nature like some pervert.

• 7:11Travis McElroy?

  I still am gonna need a percentage from Griffin.

• 7:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I, my instinct is 0%. However, if you put an apple in a box for eternity, it will turn into anything. You guys know I'm all about that shit. Do I think there's a chance that in this big, beautiful planet Earth, covered in verdant nature, and exciting diversity, biology, so many, is there maybe a big, big hairy man who lives in the woods and walks around? And he has large, and he has super big feet. May, yeah, maybe. There could be aliens out there. We don't know, because it's infinity, which means that logically, there's something out there. That's what Mulder said.

• 7:55Travis McElroy?

  This is making me feel a lot better, because my wife, who loves me and has, and like, we've committed ourselves to each other, and she's chosen to spend her life with me, said 35%, and I thought that was awful low, but now you guys.

• 8:08Griffin McElroy?

  That's super high.

• 8:09Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, now I'm realizing.

• 8:10Travis McElroy?

  Oh, high, 35%.

• 8:11Griffin McElroy?

  That's a 35% chance you're gonna make me believe in magic. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's a 35%.

• 8:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, but like, I saw it.

• 8:18Travis McElroy?

  That's a reorganization of, do you understand, if you open the door to Bigfoot, that's the whole insolita.

• 8:27Griffin McElroy?

  A gateway draw.

• 8:27Travis McElroy?

  That's a gateway.

• 8:28Travis McElroy?

  I guess it's just that I'm willing to believe. Yeah.

• 8:32Travis McElroy?

  I know, Travis. That's why you got a negative one.

• 8:35Travis McElroy?

  Fair enough, Justin. I appreciate that.

• 8:37Griffin McElroy?

  What I said just now about aliens maybe existing because space is infinite, even that to me feels like cracking the door a little bit and be like, are you in here, magic? Anything, anything special and wondrous and inexplicable happening in here? And it feels risky to me.

• 8:54Travis McElroy?

  This led me to then posit that there is one person in everybody's life. Yeah. That is the highest on the ranking of person who said they saw Bigfoot. Now I believe the most.

• 9:09Travis McElroy?

  Oh, oh, oh, Pete Buttigieg.

• 9:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, if the judge, yeah, if Judge

• 9:14Travis McElroy?

  Hundred percent dude, that's, that's easy. You're 1%. Pete Buttigieg comes out, he's got 100% confidence rating for me, Dustin McElroy. If he comes out and he's like, y'all, I know, I know, I know.

• 9:28Griffin McElroy?

  Cause it's so out of his, like, his political career is over at that point.

• 9:33Travis McElroy?

  I know it's, I know it's gonna be rough going for me. President Pete is maybe a, a pipe dream, but I am gonna tell you with 100% certainty, Bigfoot's real. You've got one true believer in 90 West Virginia, cuz I'm like, well, Pete said, where's Bigfoot?

• 9:48Griffin McElroy?

  Here's your, here's your October surprise. Bigfoot's real. I saw him and I'm dropping.

• 9:54Travis McElroy?

  Endorsement.

• 9:54Griffin McElroy?

  I'm dropping out of the race. Of course, naturally, I don't wanna make a joke out of this whole process. I did see Bigfoot. I'm Pete Buttigieg. I approve this message, but I'm not running for anything.

• 10:06Travis McElroy?

  I know I can't be president anymore, but honestly, that has started me less to be.

• 10:11Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I've got a lot to figure out.

• 10:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm actually thinking less about infrastructure than I used to, which is weird for me, Pete Buttigieg. I'm just really focused on Bigfoot.

• 10:20Griffin McElroy?

  Cause like, my considerations of infrastructure have been made more difficult by my now gentle belief in magic and magical things. So like,

• 10:29Travis McElroy?

  I got a lot, yeah.

• 10:30Travis McElroy?

  Must we shift the roads around, must we shift the roads around the rivers? I don't know. I must consort with nature to find out the answers.

• 10:37Travis McElroy?

  My number one is Griffin McElroy.

• 10:40Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah, dude. Guys, trust, if I ever came back from the woods, I was like, hey, I, I saw Bigfoot. Please, you have to believe that. I would not make up shit like that.

• 10:47Travis McElroy?

  This is my thing. I think of all the people I know in the world, it's not necessarily that Griffin is the most believable, no offense, Griffin. But rather that if there was a human being who was going to rationalize a way, do everything he could to convince himself he did not see Bigfoot, it would be Griffin McElroy. And this is actually now I'm seeing completely 100% correct.

• 11:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, for sure, for sure.

• 11:12Travis McElroy?

  Sitting there going, even talking about the possibility of aliens feels like magic to you.

• 11:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:17Travis McElroy?

  I stand, I stand firm in this belief that if Griffin's like, yeah, guys, I've thought about it. I've looked at it from every direction. There's no way I can't convince myself I didn't see Bigfoot.

• 11:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I, I will, I will say if it's me. Uh, where, where are you guys at?

• 11:36Griffin McElroy?

  If you come back saying, I saw Bigfoot, you're my oldest brother. And so there is a slight percentage of, is it a prank? Is it, am I being, cause you told me lots of stuff.

• 11:45Travis McElroy?

  Yarn spinner, Justin.

• 11:47Griffin McElroy?

  You do spin yarns.

• 11:49Travis McElroy?

  You talked about seeing a bear.

• 11:51Griffin McElroy?

  deceitful nasty liar is what Travis is saying.

• 11:53Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no. I'm saying when Justin talked about a bear in his vicinity.

• 11:58Griffin McElroy?

  That's true.

• 11:59Travis McElroy?

  It's not important if the bear is real or not. We know bears are real. So it's, he's able to add some spice to it.

• 12:06Griffin McElroy?

  Are you saying Justin wasn't accosted by a bear in his front yard?

• 12:09Travis McElroy?

  No, I'm saying he was. It's a beautiful story. I think that if I come to you guys and I'm like, I saw Bigfoot, Bigfoot's real. You should know that it is true, but it may just be true for me. I've maybe had some sort of a perspective shift.

• 12:21Griffin McElroy?

  Sure.

• 12:21Travis McElroy?

  Do you understand? Like the way I'm kind of seeing the big picture.

• 12:25Travis McElroy?

  I'm more of an metaphorical Bigfoot.

• 12:27Travis McElroy?

  I will say maybe something of an unreliable narrator.

• 12:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, 15%.

• 12:30Travis McElroy?

  In this context. Yeah.

• 12:31Travis McElroy?

  15% for me.

• 12:33Travis McElroy?

  Respectable.

• 12:34Griffin McElroy?

  I, yeah, I'm, I'm around 15, 20. Um, I, that's actually about where Travis is too. I don't know what that means for y'all. I think Bigfoot could do.

• 12:43Travis McElroy?

  Basically what that equates to is I'm with some friends. They bring up Bigfoot and I go, you know, oh, um,

• 12:51Travis McElroy?

  my older brother saw Bigfoot and they kind of laugh and I go, I know, I know, I know.

• 12:55Griffin McElroy?

  You can't say my older brother. If you say my younger brother saw Bigfoot and you believe him, it's gotta be true. There's a lot of dynamics, a lot of sibling dynamics.

• 13:05Travis McElroy?

  This is what I'm saying.

• 13:06Travis McElroy?

  How many people would need, and in what span of time?

• 13:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Travis McElroy?

  Would need to in casual conversations, say that they had recently seen Bigfoot?

• 13:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:15Travis McElroy?

  Before you would start to think there's something going on.

• 13:18Travis McElroy?

  Separate occurrences?

• 13:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, like you're in, you're like at separate parties and you're like hearing people talk, right? And then like you hear in, in various conversations, completely separate people, say they have had a sighting. Three, it's the rules for Travis.

• 13:36Travis McElroy?

  Three for me. Cause now we've got a triangle, right? Now I've got quantifiable data.

• 13:42Griffin McElroy?

  Data. Yeah.

• 13:43Travis McElroy?

  Right, where I could be like, okay, in the span of a month, three different people told me they saw Bigfoot.

• 13:49Griffin McElroy?

  I would, I would need a control group. I would need it to be first two people telling me this and then a third person walking by that they don't know, say, are you guys talking about Bigfoot? Because I also, all of a sudden, I do have outside sources. If it's too many, though, I'm thinking Flashbomb. It's like five. I'm like, okay.

• 14:07Travis McElroy?

  Flashbomb is five.

• 14:08Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:09Travis McElroy?

  Uh, you know, this, this highlights, um, like a life goal that I have, and I actually wrote this on my, on my, I have a reminders list, my life goals. There's only four right now.

• 14:21Griffin McElroy?

  You have a bucket list in your reminders app?

• 14:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Five, number one is find better ways of storing life goals.

• 14:27Griffin McElroy?

  So the.

• 14:27Travis McElroy?

  That's good. But in the, uh, yeah, thanks. Um, but in, in there, it's, uh, uh, I wanna plot several different points on a map and then connect those points.

• 14:39Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 14:40Travis McElroy?

  And then have the place where those points overlap be something important.

• 14:45Griffin McElroy?

  Significant, yeah.

• 14:46Travis McElroy?

  One time to unroll a big map.

• 14:49Griffin McElroy?

  Don't you see?

• 14:50Travis McElroy?

  Draw the lines.

• 14:51Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, yeah.

• 14:51Travis McElroy?

  And then, maybe when I draw the first two, I'm like, okay, I knew they would intersect somewhere. Please, for the love of God, let this third line be something.

• 14:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 14:59Travis McElroy?

  I just want that experience once in my life.

• 15:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:02Travis McElroy?

  And then I point to it, it's like, this is the place that I told you about in the dream.

• 15:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:07Travis McElroy?

  Or something, you know, like.

• 15:09Griffin McElroy?

  Is it too much to call them ley lines? Is it too much to triangulate the ley lines or does that make it a too much of a joke for you?

• 15:18Travis McElroy?

  If it's like. Like Oak Island. Oak Island or some sort, any ley lines. That does get the idea across, but I don't want it to be in a puzzle experience. I've paid.

• 15:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 15:32Travis McElroy?

  Hundreds of dollars.

• 15:32Griffin McElroy?

  This would have to be, you've been brought in as like a consulting detective. And you're like, wait, these, they've hit here and here and here. And if we, don't you see, so their headquarters must be here in the middle where they connect.

• 15:45Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 15:46Griffin McElroy?

  Can I?

• 15:46Travis McElroy?

  This is the entrance, and then you go there and it is a manhole, you know, like.

• 15:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:49Travis McElroy?

  No, it has to.

• 15:50Griffin McElroy?

  It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They done it again. Um, I think it would be hard to do this organically. However, I do think there's nothing stopping literally anyone from triangulating three points of interest on a map, going to the middle of where those things are, and then making something cool there for the next person to find.

• 16:10Travis McElroy?

  Or for you to commit the crimes yourself and then triangulate your own house.

• 16:14Griffin McElroy?

  I guess so.

• 16:15Travis McElroy?

  This is actually, because there was a similar thing I brought up to Teresa, which is how many times would people in town have to report vampire activity? Like, you're in a town of like 5,000 people, small town.

• 16:24Griffin McElroy?

  We've addressed this before. We have, we have talked about Vampire Town. You know what I want on my life list? I'm gonna scratch out everything else, make a difference, do something.

• 16:33Travis McElroy?

  Life list is better than bucket list, everybody.

• 16:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:36Travis McElroy?

  Because these are the ones I do.

• 16:36Travis McElroy?

  Because life is for the living.

• 16:38Griffin McElroy?

  Exactly.

• 16:38Travis McElroy?

  Buckets are for the cows.

• 16:40Griffin McElroy?

  I would love, I would love to focus a beam of light through a staff to...

• 16:46Travis McElroy?

  Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:48Griffin McElroy?

  It's something that like, and it's become such a, uh, it's joined the public consciousness in a way, uh, appearing in, you know, there's a lot of games and stuff where it happens, but it really all kind of comes from that one scene in, in Indiana Jones.

• 17:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 17:04Griffin McElroy?

  This, I don't know that there was a ton of historical evidence of ancient pharaohs making staves with, with a, a small citrine in the, in the, in the headpiece. I don't think that there's a lot of, um, I don't think that's based on much of anything. So I don't know how organically I can harness, focus a beam of pure, full moonlight through a citrine, but...

• 17:28Travis McElroy?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:30Travis McElroy?

  I think mine's pretty ambitious, um, because I think, I don't know that this is a thing, but I want to, on a stone pillar that's about waist height, arrange shapes, and then there's a click and the stone pillar lowers into the ground.

• 17:45Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:46Travis McElroy?

  And the floor like opens up into a staircase down. Yeah, like a spiral staircase down? Oh, God, I'd love that. I think we all want to play Blue Prince again.

• 17:54Griffin McElroy?

  I think we just want to live in the Blue Prince. Richard Gere did some of this shit in his, uh, castle that he built in Austin with his, um, his Ultima winnings. He was a pro esports Ultima player. Where he would have like a, if you move this drink coaster to this exact spot on the Credenza, it'll pop open the spiral staircase down to the wine cooler. And I'm like, that's cool. It's also kind of half of an idea. I do want to have to rebuild a skeleton that has been encrusted with jewels.

• 18:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 18:24Griffin McElroy?

  I do want to place gemstones around the room in a certain elemental order. And I do want to focus a beam of pure moonlight through a citrine staff. So like, it's, it's cool that like, pull out the book to open the door. That's awesome. Objectively, that's cool, but make it magic.

• 18:42Travis McElroy?

  I'd like to have to take more rubbings of things.

• 18:45Griffin McElroy?

  I would love to take a rub. You already did your chef.

• 18:47Travis McElroy?

  I know, but I haven't had to rub a thing.

• 18:51Griffin McElroy?

  Here he goes off king. Goes off king.

• 18:54Travis McElroy?

  A little over a year ago, my flatmate drunkenly stole three traffic cones. They've been living in our closet ever since. Brothers, I need to rid these cones from my closet and my conscience. How do I return traffic cones? Important, the construction site they were stolen from is no longer there.

• 19:10Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 19:11Travis McElroy?

  That's from embarrassed accomplice, Steve in Edinburgh.

• 19:16Griffin McElroy?

  The great news is this is pretty easy. Traffic cones are like flowers that humans make. If you think about it, if you look around and you see a traffic cone and it's not around some sort of accident or construction site, you just think a human left that there. So I think just dead of night, go outside. You don't even have to go that far from the door of your house and set those traffic cones outside. There's no, no one's going to accuse you of stealing them. They're traffic cones. They're everywhere.

• 19:45Travis McElroy?

  Hey, but why not have a little fun with it? Cause he got three, right? That's the triangle right there. Maybe there's a neighbor's door. You're going to set them up in a triangle shape right outside their front door. Like, you know, maybe it steps right out of the street or a building. And you've set it up as if to say, watch out for this triangle, right? And then in the morning, people get to have a chance to like, but why? But why is that triangle there? Until eventually now those cones do need to be removed. But for a second, everybody gets to go, what's happening in this triangle? Why is this triangle here?

• 20:17Griffin McElroy?

  And that kind of loops back into, we could make, we could triangulate a secret artifact or relic or something with these. That wouldn't be. What do the cones mean? That wouldn't be. Three cones. Yeah. What do they mean?

• 20:28Travis McElroy?

  Maybe knock one of the cones over and then draw two sad faces on the other two cones like, "Aw, our friend."

• 20:35Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's cool. Tell a story.

• 20:37Travis McElroy?

  Now it's an art project.

• 20:39Travis McElroy?

  I think it'd be funny to close your road.

• 20:43Travis McElroy?

  Just close your road. Get a cone, put it at one end.

• 20:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:47Travis McElroy?

  Take the other two.

• 20:48Griffin McElroy?

  One cone.

• 20:48Travis McElroy?

  The other end.

• 20:49Griffin McElroy?

  One cone's not gonna stop me, my friend.

• 20:51Travis McElroy?

  You only got three.

• 20:52Griffin McElroy?

  Again, if I-

• 20:52Travis McElroy?

  If I have four.

• 20:53Griffin McElroy?

  If I-

• 20:53Travis McElroy?

  And a Holocaust cloak, that might be something, but I only have three cones to work with, so I'm doing my best.

• 20:57Griffin McElroy?

  If I am driving down the road and I see one cone, I'm gonna think, "Some human just left that there." That is not, that's one cone. They're not trying to block off the whole street with one cone. That's crazy. I got places to be.

• 21:08Travis McElroy?

  You block off one intersection with three cones. So there's like one street where you're just like, "Ugh."

• 21:14Travis McElroy?

  You're right. Hey, question asker, you need to steal more cones. You gotta steal cones to leave cones.

• 21:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 21:22Travis McElroy?

  That's what I always say.

• 21:23Griffin McElroy?

  Three cones, I think that's, there's a big pothole. I gotta go around that. I'm still going to go around three cones. If five, now we're talking. I'm not gonna fuck around with five.

• 21:31Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay. Get more cones, knock one cone over, and then surround it with other cones? As if to say like, "Hey, we're working on getting this cone stood back up, and until then, you gotta stay away from this one cone."

• 21:44Griffin McElroy?

  Go around this cone. That's cool.

• 21:45Travis McElroy?

  If you started putting out, keeping the cones in your trunk, and then when you pull out of a parking space, just putting the cones there until you get home.

• 21:53Griffin McElroy?

  The worst.

• 21:53Travis McElroy?

  I think this problem would resolve itself really quickly. Like, something would happen to the cone.

• 21:58Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, we didn't finish, oh, sorry, we didn't finish reading the question. "I also want to become the most despised person in my neighborhood." It says here that they want to be absolutely thoroughly and completely despised. Um, "Could you hire two other people and you hold up the cones to your mouth, and like they're old timey megaphones, and you kind of do a little herald thing and say like, "Brr, brr, brr, we didn't steal these. We found these."

• 22:24Travis McElroy?

  You should just return them?

• 22:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, but in my

• 22:27Travis McElroy?

  They'll know, Griffin. They'll know, bud.

• 22:30Travis McElroy?

  But in my version, there is like a fun medieval kind of announcement.

• 22:33Travis McElroy?

  You need to get three large baskets. You're gonna tuck a cone in each basket, put a blankie over it, put a little note that says, I'm, I can't take care of these anymore. I leave them in your care. Leave those like on the police station door, fire department door or whatever. Now they've adopted the cones. They have to take care of them.

• 22:55Travis McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 22:55Travis McElroy?

  You're welcome.

• 22:57Travis McElroy?

  Sometimes these questions, I read them and I am very confused by them. And then I have to take a moment to remember that not everybody lives so close to so many rivers as I do.

• 23:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:07Travis McElroy?

  I really have a pick of rivers. If I have a problem like this, there's a river nearby that I'll probably drive by on my errands that will solve this problem for me. You know what I mean?

• 23:17Travis McElroy?

  That will carry it eventually to the ocean.

• 23:19Travis McElroy?

  Make it Kentucky's problem. You know what I mean?

• 23:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:21Travis McElroy?

  Make it Ohio's problem. Make it North Carolina. I don't know where the rivers go.

• 23:24Travis McElroy?

  Make it Trash Island's problem, Justin.

• 23:26Travis McElroy?

  Trash Islands.

• 23:27Travis McElroy?

  Is that right?

• 23:27Travis McElroy?

  Let it join the fat bird. You know what I mean?

• 23:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I don't know. You're just sending it out to the ocean to kill the coral reefs, son.

• 23:32Travis McElroy?

  You don't have a river. Don't you don't have a river?

• 23:34Travis McElroy?

  But hey.

• 23:34Travis McElroy?

  Obviously ocean doesn't work because it come back to you.

• 23:37Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 23:37Travis McElroy?

  That's bad. Lake, that's a crime. That's illegal because that stuff just floats there in the lake.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  And messes up the lake for everybody.

• 23:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:45Travis McElroy?

  River?

• 23:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:46Travis McElroy?

  Take it away.

• 23:47Travis McElroy?

  Take it away.

• 23:48Travis McElroy?

  River, take cone away. Take that cone as far as you can until, nobody knows.

• 23:55Travis McElroy?

  No, hold on. No, finish the thought.

• 23:57Travis McElroy?

  Actually, I think some people probably know.

• 24:00Travis McElroy?

  Let me, let me help you.

• 24:01Travis McElroy?

  Where the river goes?

• 24:03Travis McElroy?

  Where does river go? I will just see downhill.

• 24:07Travis McElroy?

  That's a, the song for Pocahontas, right?

• 24:10Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 24:11Travis McElroy?

  That's in there.

• 24:11Travis McElroy?

  So what's around the river bend?

• 24:13Travis McElroy?

  River bend.

• 24:13Travis McElroy?

  Nobody knows.

• 24:14Travis McElroy?

  Nobody knows.

• 24:16Travis McElroy?

  We've never ever gone all the way down to see.

• 24:18Travis McElroy?

  The problem is there's more river after that. We tried following it, man, and we went around the bend and guess what, guys? Another fucking bend and we give up.

• 24:27Travis McElroy?

  Now, check, check this out. I'm reading the, what I just Googled. It says, well, most rivers eventually reach the sea. And if I stop reading right there, we have plausible deniability.

• 24:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:37Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:38Griffin McElroy?

  Also, there's worse things that you could throw into Trash Ocean Island than traffic cones, because they make the out there and the fish see those and like, careful guys. Trash Island coming up.

• 24:49Travis McElroy?

  We gotta go around.

• 24:50Griffin McElroy?

  We've learned that these conical orange flowers that humans make, they mean, don't fuck with this right now.

• 24:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:57Griffin McElroy?

  That was a hard lesson.

• 24:58Travis McElroy?

  Like funny, like Harold, you know.

• 25:00Griffin McElroy?

  Sometimes they do funny Harold skits to say they've not done a crime.

• 25:05Travis McElroy?

  I'm visiting my out of state partner and their very kind grandparents have let me sleep in a guest room at their place during my stay. Been sleeping on an antique bed for a week now. Just took a seat and multiple boards under the headrest have fully snapped apart from the frame. The bed is old enough that this room is where my partner's ancient grandpa grew up from childhood. Brothers, how do I break the? What?

• 25:29Griffin McElroy?

  Didn't need to say ancient. I, yeah.

• 25:33Travis McElroy?

  You've already described the man's relation to the frame.

• 25:36Travis McElroy?

  You don't ancient for a grandpa?

• 25:38Travis McElroy?

  Cool 30 year old grandpa.

• 25:40Travis McElroy?

  This hip sexy Bradley Cooper looking grandpa. How, brothers, how do I break the news that I've shattered a piece of history with my ass? And what do I do for sleeping for the next week? That's from Cracked Wood Criminal in Columbus.

• 25:53Travis McElroy?

  One of those is more important to you than the other, and I can guess which.

• 25:58Travis McElroy?

  You can't come up with a lie without enough rest. You can't come up with a good way to blame it on somebody else until you've had a good, nice sleep.

• 26:06Griffin McElroy?

  Is, is there a subconscious worry here with broken bed frame that you smashed it while making whoopee? Uh, and so you're embarrassed to say like, hey, something's wrong with the bed frame and they'll look and see you smash it and they'll just assume it's from just the incredible inertia of your, of your pelvis.

• 26:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, because I think the second you say, yeah, I just sat on it and the boards broke. Ancient grandpa's gonna think, I've sat on that thing thousands of times.

• 26:38Griffin McElroy?

  But what if ancient grandpa looks over at you and winks? Like, and he's like, he's cool with it. And that means you're in, you're in. You can, you've gotten permission to be, become married.

• 26:49Travis McElroy?

  I think. I don't know, guys. I don't know about you, but if I've been on a long road trip and I finally get to where I'm staying and I'm, I'm gonna be kicking my feet for the next few days. I don't just sit on the bed, guys. And I'm wondering, question asker, did you just sit on the bed? Or did you like, do the full, throw the arms up, toss your whole body back into the bed?

• 27:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:11Travis McElroy?

  I've made it.

• 27:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yes. Leap into that shit.

• 27:15Travis McElroy?

  You leaped it, you leaped it.

• 27:16Griffin McElroy?

  Like you leaped at the end of the skiing, how to ski video, where he's just like floop into the bed. He flooped into it, smashed into it like a giant grapefruit in a herbal essences commercial, didn't he?

• 27:27Travis McElroy?

  One time I was staying.

• 27:28Griffin McElroy?

  Cannonball.

• 27:29Travis McElroy?

  Uh, staying at a friend's, this is, uh, oh, early days, actually, when I went and visited friends at the Cincy Shakes Company and they had a company house and there was an extra bed in there. And I laid down on it and the bed frame, um, was old and bad and like broke. And so the bed was at a tilt where the boards didn't, no longer stayed up. And so it tilted from like right to left, then up and down, mind you, right to left. And by the time I laid down in the mattress, uh, it was late in the evening. And I was like, well, this is my life and I slept on it that way.

• 28:04Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy. What a young man's body you had.

• 28:06Travis McElroy?

  I know, right?

• 28:08Griffin McElroy?

  My, my old body would remember the, the scars of that for the rest of my life, probably.

• 28:13Travis McElroy?

  Question asker, you do have a hail Mary here that is in the world of wood repair, but does not require any certain skills. This is something people don't want to tell you, but wood glue is stronger than wood. So if you get a bottle of wood glue.

• 28:29Griffin McElroy?

  Why aren't we building, why aren't we building boats out of wood glue then?

• 28:32Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Griffin McElroy?

  What? Why aren't we built, a simple question, why aren't we building boats out of the wood glue then, instead of?

• 28:39Travis McElroy?

  Why are you avoiding? Alright, so that if you just get the pieces and kinda.

• 28:47Travis McElroy?

  Smoosh them back how they look right and then wood glue and it will be fixed.

• 28:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:52Travis McElroy?

  In a like it will be.

• 28:54Griffin McElroy?

  It will be fixed.

• 28:56Travis McElroy?

  Take slats from your, from the grandpa's new bed. Shipper Cetaceus.

• 29:02Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying it is gonna stay fixed for exactly as long as you need it to.

• 29:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:07Travis McElroy?

  For it not to be your fault.

• 29:09Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 29:10Travis McElroy?

  The next time.

• 29:11Griffin McElroy?

  You are also though, creating a kind of like secret buried treasure for someone else to find in the future. Um, and that is the treasure though, is like your shame at this, at what you have done here vis a vis repairs.

• 29:27Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no, no. You're, you're along a, a piece of heirloom furniture, Griff, you gotta understand is a living document.

• 29:34Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 29:35Travis McElroy?

  And that, that you first had the hands that, that took the woods from the woods. And then you have the hands that crafted it, right? And made it. And then other hands will repair it, will give it new life.

• 29:48Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna put the wood glue on and carefully brush some gold dust into the wood glue as you do.

• 29:55Travis McElroy?

  It's a red, actually, if you put some sawdust into a wood glue, you can hide cracks.

• 29:58Travis McElroy?

  All right, fun. Justin, my thing's about like wabi-sabi, the cracks are what makes us beautiful. It's not practical. I'm not trying to help.

• 30:07Travis McElroy?

  We were.

• 30:07Travis McElroy?

  Just glue it all together. Wood's easy.

• 30:09Griffin McElroy?

  We were, we were having some HVAC issues and I went up in our attic to figure out what the heck was going on. It turned out the vent that, or the duct work that takes the dryer leavens out.

• 30:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:23Griffin McElroy?

  Of the roof had gotten disconnected from the roof hole and fallen down. And I noticed that, I don't know if it's the previous owner or somewhere down the chain of possession. They had formed a sort of duct tape barrier, sort of a wrap around sort of plug.

• 30:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:38Griffin McElroy?

  Sort of a solution that had been covered in lint and then fell off. And then the pipe was just giving me that good dryer juice right back into my house. And do you guys know how?

• 30:50Griffin McElroy?

  Jubilant I was that I discovered that and not a contractor that I had brought into a professional who had brought into my home.

• 30:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's huge.

• 30:59Griffin McElroy?

  And I'd been like, yeah, my family keeps coughing and they go upstairs and see that there's a pipe just pumping hot fucking laundry juice into my family's noses and that had been taped up. There's no way I could have been like, I didn't tape that up there.

• 31:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Once they found it and relayed that information to you, any amount of, I didn't do it.

• 31:20Griffin McElroy?

  I never.

• 31:21Travis McElroy?

  Would fall on deaf ears. How do you know, question asker, that this was not poorly repaired by someone moments before you arrived?

• 31:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:29Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean?

• 31:30Griffin McElroy?

  You were set up.

• 31:31Travis McElroy?

  Maybe some other jabroni broke it and they did a bad job fixing it. Now you're gonna get in there with some tight bond too.

• 31:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:36Travis McElroy?

  And fix it for, for real.

• 31:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna get in there and really fix it.

• 31:39Griffin McElroy?

  You, you could just kind of put the pieces back together, set a sort of trap and then get to ancient grandpa and say like, hey, can you show me how this bed works or whatever? He sits on it, snap.

• 31:51Travis McElroy?

  How do you know this living, no, Griffin, Griffin, will you show me how this living document works as it evolves?

• 31:57Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 31:58Travis McElroy?

  From new to non-functional.

• 32:00Griffin McElroy?

  Right. And then they sit on it.

• 32:02Travis McElroy?

  It's a journey.

• 32:03Griffin McElroy?

  They sit on it and you say, damn, grandpa, what'd you do, dude? Did you do that from smashing ass? And he'll be like, no, I just, you saw me sit on it.

• 32:12Travis McElroy?

  Did you, did you fart so bad?

• 32:16Griffin McElroy?

  Holy shit, peeps. Did you rip such a fart that it broke the bedwood, dude?

• 32:22Travis McElroy?

  I'm so embarrassed.

• 32:24Griffin McElroy?

  No, you watched me just now, sit.

• 32:26Travis McElroy?

  Tell you what, though, old man. I was whittling, were you kidding? You sent me a Chris Pundo dollar bill, I'm gonna keep this between us. And now it's a profit game. Oh, man.

• 32:36Griffin McElroy?

  You say, oh, no, grandpa, what do we do? Now he's in a fucking job.

• 32:42Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. Hey, this is a, this is a duo now. We're a criminal duo. We gotta get out of here. You can drive, let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:53Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, should we go to the money zone? I was about to say that.

• 32:57Travis McElroy?

  Oh, man. I'm already there.

• 33:07Travis McElroy?

  Squarespace? In my house? It's more likely than you think. Hi, I'm Travis McQuarrie, spokesman for Squarespace. Wait, hold on. What? Is the context of this ad read like Squarespace? Beware of hidden Squarespace?

• 33:21Griffin McElroy?

  Look out for Squarespace?

• 33:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, guys. Squarespace is all around us.

• 33:27Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 33:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. In fact, I would say I've been learning a lot about tesseract lately and multiple dimensions.

• 33:34Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 33:34Travis McElroy?

  And maybe Squarespace is a dimension higher than the dimension we live in, because it's where the internet lives. Just a quick update, Trav? Negative five. Negative five percent. Tesseract's a real, man, that's fucking science. With that reveal, you've been moved to negative five.

• 33:48Griffin McElroy?

  In my rank.

• 33:49Travis McElroy?

  That's real science, boys. It's fourth dimensional shape. Read a book. Carl Sagan talked about it. If Carl Sagan saw Bigfoot, you guys would be like, oh, negative five Carl Sagan.

• 34:01Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I don't think he's with us anymore, Trav.

• 34:03Travis McElroy?

  No, of course he's not, Griffin. He's in the eighth dimension now or some shit.

• 34:07Griffin McElroy?

  Pretty poor taste during our Squarespace spot.

• 34:11Travis McElroy?

  Squarespace is a website that lets you build websites. It's a website that builds websites. It's terrifying to think about. Yeah, it's like a tesseract. It's a fourth dimensional website experience, where it's a website within a website within a website. What if you built a website through Squarespace that let you build even smaller websites? How cute.

• 34:30Griffin McElroy?

  What if you were a young professional who needed a way to sell your goods and services and get paid through any, any damn way you please online?

• 34:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that would work too.

• 34:40Griffin McElroy?

  I thought it would be a good time to pivot into the things that Squarespace wanted us to talk about.

• 34:43Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, I love that.

• 34:45Griffin McElroy?

  Um, they have the, the, you know, this library of templates that are just award-winning, gorgeous, beautiful templates. They're gonna make it look like you know what you're doing, uh, on the web. And you can customize them to your purposes. There's intuitive drag and drop editing. Wizy, wizy wig, I think is what they call it.

• 35:05Travis McElroy?

  Wizy wig?

• 35:05Griffin McElroy?

  Wizy wig.

• 35:06Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 35:07Griffin McElroy?

  Wizy wig.

• 35:08Travis McElroy?

  Wizy wig.

• 35:09Griffin McElroy?

  Beautiful style.

• 35:10Travis McElroy?

  The guy from Chris's Carol?

• 35:12Griffin McElroy?

  Whatever you need. This shit to do, Squarespace helps you do it. We're not just talking out of our asses. We've all used Squarespace to build websites that look remarkable. They look very, very good and make us seem professional enough that people started to really take us seriously once we had our suite of Squarespace websites.

• 35:32Travis McElroy?

  So head to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER, all one word, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Boys, I know that I have to take these off the rails, but I'm gonna send jokes out of the room for a second.

• 35:48Griffin McElroy?

  Oh.

• 35:49Travis McElroy?

  I know, because I'm gonna tell you about Aura Frames, which I believe to be the best present that one can give.

• 35:58Griffin McElroy?

  Wow.

• 35:58Travis McElroy?

  To grandparents, in-laws, family that you don't see that often. You can get it for yourself, too. Don't get me wrong, I have one and it's one of our favorite things. The kids love it because we can upload pictures directly to it as soon as we get back from a thing and then those pictures show up and they're like, where was that? And I was like, that was 10 minutes ago, baby.

• 36:19Griffin McElroy?

  Kids love that stuff, man.

• 36:20Travis McElroy?

  They fucking do. But what I love is we got my mother-in-law one and it's sitting right in our living room. We see it every time we go over to the house and I know that when we get back from an outing with the kids or something like that, we can immediately, from my phone, upload pictures to her Aura and know that now those are in the rotation. We can post those pictures of the grandkids right there. So it's a gift that we got her once that just every so often is like we updated it to be a new gift. It's amazing. She adores it. Everyone we've ever given one to absolutely loves it. It's so easy to use, so easy to put new pictures on to, so easy to set up.

• 37:04Travis McElroy?

  I highly, highly recommend it, especially as we head into the holiday season. If there's someone in your life that you're like, I wanna get something for, but I can't think of something that feels, you know, that feels personal, Aura Frames, man, it's perfect.

• 37:17Griffin McElroy?

  It really is great. I echo everything Travis said. We've gotten them as gifts before and they, they really have streamlined a process that before this point, there was not really a good solution for.

• 37:28Travis McElroy?

  So for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code MYBROTHER at checkout. That's A U R A Frames.com promo code MYBROTHER. The deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Do you guys think that if Squarespace is listening right now and they heard like what a serious and like straightforward, like to the point drop I did with Aura Frames, they're like, what the fuck, man? Why are you talking about us being in your house? It's more like living, you think. Why'd you do that for us?

• 38:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, hold on. Well, then let me balance it out. Aura Frames is, I mean, do you guys want to get into auras? Aura Frames, Aura Frames recharges all of my magic energy when I touch it.

• 38:26Travis McElroy?

  Your lack of skill in discussing auras actually just bumped you up to 105%, where I would believe you more that you saw Bigfoot than you would believe yourself.

• 38:36Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 38:39Speaker 04

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• 39:22Speaker 05

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• 39:23Speaker 06

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• 39:26Speaker 05

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• 39:28Speaker 06

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• 39:33Speaker 05

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• 39:51Speaker 06

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• 39:53Speaker 05

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.

• 39:59Speaker 06

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• 40:01Speaker 05

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother, mother, not that hat.

• 40:06Travis McElroy?

  Uh, hey, I don't know if you guys knew, but Wicked Fever is, uh, spreading across the nation.

• 40:14Travis McElroy?

  God, no. Not again.

• 40:17Travis McElroy?

  I went and saw Wicked for Good, and what I thought of it couldn't matter less to anybody on the planet. Except, I will say this, a lot of great products, you know? There's a lot of great products to enjoy with the Wicked, Wicked franchise.

• 40:31Travis McElroy?

  I recently saw Wicked on a TikTok Wicked themed, uh, porta potties. That's cool.

• 40:36Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that, yeah, that's excellent. I want to share some of the products with you guys, uh, because there's so many really, really good ones.

• 40:42Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 40:43Travis McElroy?

  Um, and I, they, they went hard with the brand collaborations last year, but we're gonna go even harder this year. First up.

• 40:50Travis McElroy?

  And I tell you, wait, before you show them, Justin, I want to say, my bet is gonna be based off of what they did for Wicked, the first, Wicked for Bad, Wicked for Now, is that they love, this one's pink, this one's green, that's all we gotta do. What do you want to meddle? Yeah, dude, that's. What do you want to meddle for that fucking absolute derailment of the energy of the bit to say that there's pink and green ones? Yeah, I'm just saying that in like their branding. In their branding theming, it's not like they had to do comp. The vibe's off. Griffin, can you cleanse the aura, please? Sure.

• 41:28Travis McElroy?

  Do you guys know how you love protein bars, but you wish they were pink and green? Yeah, dude. Fuck, shit. Yeah. Okay, so True Bar. This is a bad first example.

• 41:41Travis McElroy?

  Get through this. The vibe on this one's fucking spoiled. Let me get through this one. This is a bad first example because it makes Travis look right. And I don't want that. So Wicked for good. Daydreaming about donuts. And it's meant to be chip. The pink and green was they have it. They put them in a box. It's meant to be chip. It's meant to be chip suggests someone heard chip thought, that sounds like hip. It's hip to be square. Is this something? It's meant to be. Also makes it sound like they failed. It's meant to be chip and this is actually as close as we could get. They had pink and green protein bars and so they put them in a box. So that's not like a natural one, but after you eat those, you gotta clean your breath.

• 42:25Travis McElroy?

  And what better way to do that than with the Sonic Powered Singing Toothbrush by Equate? Yep, that's right. When you start brushing with this, you're gonna hear Popular and Defying Gravity. Two songs notably not from this movie because every song from Wicked.

• 42:41Travis McElroy?

  Bring the magic of the world of Wicked to your daily routine with the Wicked Sonic Powered Singing Toothbrush. Officially licensed by Universal Studios because the alternative would be fucking crazy. Imagine if Walmart's like, eat my dick. I'm doing an alphabet toothbrush and you can't stop me. These are drop shipped directly to Walmart. We put a Timu on the brush and you can't stop us. This toothbrush plays all of K-pop Demon Hunters, start to finish. Can the adults? That is a good point. Both of those songs are notably longer than the two minutes. One is meant to brush their teeth. Does it keep going? Also, I'm gonna be fucking.

• 43:23Travis McElroy?

  That's not proper form, man. It should be defying cavity. Shit, that's good stuff, Travie. That's really good. It's really good.

• 43:31Griffin McElroy?

  Have you noticed how they're pink and green?

• 43:33Travis McElroy?

  And also, it's a same joke beloved author, Richard Osman made on The Rest Is Entertainment, Travis, when they were talking about Wicked collaboration. So you should feel very good company.

• 43:40Griffin McElroy?

  I do.

• 43:41Travis McElroy?

  Very good company. He's a multi bestselling author.

• 43:44Griffin McElroy?

  Hell, yeah.

• 43:45Travis McElroy?

  Then the adults have one too with the Wicked Ordo brush. This is.

• 43:52Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, God.

• 43:53Travis McElroy?

  This is a toothbrush for adults that seemed about wicked. I don't know what what else you need to know.

• 43:58Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I could tell you that it looks like, um, one, it's eldritch and absinthe at the same time.

• 44:05Travis McElroy?

  Yes, it's a very sexual.

• 44:08Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:08Travis McElroy?

  Adult toothbrush.

• 44:09Griffin McElroy?

  Does it sing songs to me while I brush it?

• 44:12Travis McElroy?

  Uh, this, I do not think, no. If it does, it's just Elphaba's personal toothbrush. Get sent to Oz with game wicked for good laundry add-ins. That's right. Gain Febreeze and Dawn. Fans everywhere know what Oz looks like and feels like. And for the first time ever, they'll experience what it smells like.

• 44:36Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm. I would say look and feel are not the two senses I would kind of organically attribute to watching a movie. I would say, I would say here gets more of a hand on the ball on that one than touch. I do not actually know. I don't know what Oz tastes, smells, or feels like, because I've never touched Oz.

• 44:55Travis McElroy?

  It's just the, it's just those senses that are engaged with the film, really.

• 44:59Griffin McElroy?

  I think a really powerful mantra for when someone isn't being fun and magical enough is to tell them to touch Oz.

• 45:08Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:09Griffin McElroy?

  If, if one of us isn't playing enough in the space where the others are trying to set it up and they're being kind of just like, do you touch Oz a little bit?

• 45:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you mean this guy?

• 45:20Travis McElroy?

  Hey, detergent flings provide a powerful clean and a vibrant freshness, and it comes in this scent, fantabulous floral.

• 45:28Travis McElroy?

  Fantabulous floral game wicked for good, but don't worry. They also have wonderful list woods and beautiful blossom.

• 45:36Travis McElroy?

  Just give us smells like Jonathan Bailey. That's what everybody wants.

• 45:40Travis McElroy?

  Hey Trav, hey Trav, we'll get there.

• 45:43Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 45:45Travis McElroy?

  Uh, experience environment freshness against wicked for good limited edition. Uh, your laundry stays enchanted from wash to wear. There's also dawn power wash wicked for good fantabulous floral. This is a dish. You can wash your dishes.

• 45:59Travis McElroy?

  I want to talk about this. Uh, did they think about the psychological impact of me doing like drudge drudgery chores while having to smell and think about I could be

• 46:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:14Travis McElroy?

  in Oz dancing through life and instead I have to be scrubbing shit.

• 46:20Travis McElroy?

  I yeah, the problem of like, but that's like every scent like tropical breezes. I'm not. It's a toilet.

• 46:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:27Travis McElroy?

  Next up, we got two irresistible limited edition scents from secret. Um, there's a, an alpha, the wickedly wonderful Elphaba theme one and couldn't be lovelier for your pits. They're both for your pits.

• 46:41Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Can I do one side with one flavor, one side with the other?

• 46:45Travis McElroy?

  They would ask that you do that, but do purchase both of them.

• 46:47Travis McElroy?

  And alternate day by day. You don't want to get too much imbalance. Can you imagine being in a situation where you're wearing these and someone's like, mm, you smell like Elphaba? I don't know how I'd feel.

• 46:58Griffin McElroy?

  Good Elphaba smell.

• 47:00Travis McElroy?

  Good Elphaba smell. Hey, uh, good smellphaba. Thank you, Travis. Thank you, Justin. And moving right along.

• 47:06Griffin McElroy?

  I will not be thinking, I will not be thinking either of you.

• 47:08Travis McElroy?

  Who's hungry?

• 47:09Griffin McElroy?

  I'm starving.

• 47:10Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 47:11Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 47:11Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, that's a very severe. Okay. So these are, these are, these are, these are pink hostess cupcakes. These are pink hostess cupcakes of wicked for good with an extraordinarily stern looking Ariana Grande. She's looking at you like, I love these cupcakes and I've eaten them with my mouth. Just I'm crazy for these things.

• 47:34Travis McElroy?

  Looking at them as it to say.

• 47:36Travis McElroy?

  How dare you fucking buy these?

• 47:38Travis McElroy?

  It looks like she's saying gobble it up, piggy. And I don't wanna say, but that's the facial expression is gobble it up, piggy. Like, that's like what she's saying with her face.

• 47:47Griffin McElroy?

  She is staring at you like she is some sort of war goddess. Who is, who has nothing to do with this product whatsoever, clearly, clearly.

• 47:57Travis McElroy?

  It is approved by the wizard for a limited time. Soft fluffy cupcakes with osmopolitan pink frosting, strawberry flavored snack cakes with creamy filling. Perfectly snackable to satisfy your sweet tooth any time of day. And it's a thrillifying way to celebrate the wicked, the release of wicked for good only in theaters. Not in cupcakes.

• 48:17Travis McElroy?

  Not in cupcakes.

• 48:19Travis McElroy?

  I feel like I've experienced the film. If I've eaten the cupcakes, there's also an Elphaba one, don't worry. If I've eaten the Coke cakes and eaten the Hovis bread.

• 48:28Griffin McElroy?

  What? There's Hovis bread?

• 48:31Travis McElroy?

  What is, it's best, can you, Griffin, can you just?

• 48:33Griffin McElroy?

  I'll just read, okay, I'll just read all the words that I'm seeing.

• 48:36Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no, no. What is the hook? Look at the hook.

• 48:39Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so this best of both.

• 48:42Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 48:43Griffin McElroy?

  This is, this is a, this is a loaf that is 50% white bread and 50% wholemeal flour bread?

• 48:50Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, and you've got Elphaba and, and Glinda looking at each other like, this is the kind of flour I like. And the other one says, no, I like this kind of flour.

• 48:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but you can also win a trip to Canada, it looks like, if you buy the right loaf of Hovis.

• 49:04Travis McElroy?

  No, you can win a wicked trip to Canada. So apparently, maybe there'll be some human trafficking in there. Or some crazy, some drug muling.

• 49:11Travis McElroy?

  The bread is labeled as medium. What does that denote in bread form?

• 49:17Griffin McElroy?

  Give me the, give me the long Elphaba bread, please.

• 49:20Travis McElroy?

  Some of these British products and, or this is not even British, I think this is just like an international products that I found. I can't contextualize that for you.

• 49:27Travis McElroy?

  Can I also just say?

• 49:28Travis McElroy?

  What I can't contextualize is the number.

• 49:30Travis McElroy?

  I wanna talk about though, real quick, back to the Hovis bread. But it says best of both, and it seems like the way they've manifested the best of both. It suggests you use half and half of a thing. So they've in no way attempted to extract the best qualities of each.

• 49:44Griffin McElroy?

  It should be half of each.

• 49:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's not the best of both. It's just, yeah, man, they're both in there.

• 49:50Travis McElroy?

  Well, I'm done.

• 49:52Griffin McElroy?

  All right.

• 49:52Travis McElroy?

  I'm done. Uh, I'm full and I'm gonna reach for my Cascade Wicked for Good, uh, uh.

• 49:59Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, this drives me, this drives me fucking crazy. This drives me up an absolute wall.

• 50:03Travis McElroy?

  Now, why is that?

• 50:04Griffin McElroy?

  Well, Justin, I'm looking at the Cascade detergent pods. We all know what these look like. It's a sort of white, foamy, marbly sort of base, and then the gel packet separating the two different chemicals. Only, okay, let me look at the colors of these chemicals. There's green, Elphaba's color, loves that one. And then, oh, blue still on the other side. Didn't change a fucking goddamn thing about it.

• 50:25Travis McElroy?

  Can I also tell you?

• 50:26Griffin McElroy?

  They did say it is Emerald City scent. Okay, but you didn't change, there's, this is a product with famously with two very bright and vivid colors, sort of intertwined in a yin yang, if you will, and you didn't, you couldn't figure out how to change one sort of ingredient to make it pink and green. It seems like a huge misopportunity.

• 50:47Travis McElroy?

  I'm glad that you included scent in there, but for me, the dishwashing experience, I would say is a 99% closed, kind of closed door experience.

• 50:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 50:58Travis McElroy?

  Mm-hmm. I was gonna joke, I was gonna make a joke about this being offered earlier. No. Every witch needs a Swiffer.

• 51:09Griffin McElroy?

  It simply doesn't cut the same silhouette when cast against the full moon in the sky. I do not see.

• 51:15Travis McElroy?

  I'm also almost positive they made a joke about this in Hocus Pocus.

• 51:18Travis McElroy?

  In Hocus Pocus 2. I'm almost certain they made a joke about it in Hocus Pocus 2. Travis, I would swear to God they did. Every witch needs a Swiffer. This is a Wicked for Good pink Swiffer.

• 51:28Travis McElroy?

  Okay, that does what? No? Okay.

• 51:31Travis McElroy?

  It's swift!

• 51:31Griffin McElroy?

  It's swift, dude. And there is no green one. Fuck you.

• 51:34Travis McElroy?

  There is no green one. The green, you gotta drop on the floor yourself and then swiff it up.

• 51:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:41Travis McElroy?

  Uh, next up, oh, the air, it's in the air tonight. It's Wicked for Good mistably decadent ambiance. There's a Wicked for Good Febreeze and a Wicked for Good plug-in.

• 51:52Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 51:52Travis McElroy?

  If you wanted just to be a beautiful blossom. That's the, the, yeah.

• 51:56Travis McElroy?

  I haven't seen Wicked one or two, and...

• 51:59Travis McElroy?

  You smelled it.

• 52:00Griffin McElroy?

  What, I haven't touched. Oz yet, and I guess I'm wondering if there's this much kind of Jeffy ass family circus mispronunciation of words in the mood. Is that like a factor in the film?

• 52:11Travis McElroy?

  gimmick of the thing.

• 52:12Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 52:13Travis McElroy?

  So you should know this is on theme. And I think what it is, is honestly, a lot of sad copywriters in this nation just wanted to have a little bit of fun for once in their fucking lives. You know what I mean? They just wanted to have, they wanted to touch Oz for a second.

• 52:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:26Travis McElroy?

  And just not call it tropical breeze.

• 52:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Travis McElroy?

  You know?

• 52:29Travis McElroy?

  I love the idea though of someone going to them and saying, you need to have more fun. And they're like, please just let me, it's pink and green. Is that fine? Like, no, make a funny word in there.

• 52:38Griffin McElroy?

  I am hoping we get to wicked for good branded ragu pescetti sauce somewhere, somewhere in the lineup.

• 52:45Travis McElroy?

  It's green.

• 52:46Griffin McElroy?

  It's green pescetti sauce.

• 52:49Travis McElroy?

  Hold on, I just need to add one last quick addition here, Griffin.

• 52:55Griffin McElroy?

  There simply is no way that there's actually ragu. Okay. So this is, okay. So we have great value wicked, mystery color macaroni and cheese. Which will you get, pink or green? This I fuck with. I believe we've, we have absolutely devastated.

• 53:10Travis McElroy?

  I wanted to remind you, to remind you, yes.

• 53:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 53:13Travis McElroy?

  This is also fun because um, my kids um, hate being surprised by the color of the food they're about to eat.

• 53:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:21Travis McElroy?

  And also mac and cheese that doesn't look like regular mac and cheese.

• 53:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:26Travis McElroy?

  So this is fun because like no matter who wins, we lose.

• 53:29Griffin McElroy?

  I think there's probably a lot of kids out there who are going to be devastated if one of the, you are doing a coin flip for whether or not your child's going to eat that dinner or not. Have fucking fun. No way. Way too high stakes.

• 53:40Travis McElroy?

  You guys gotta see the crocs.

• 53:42Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:42Griffin McElroy?

  These are good. I do like these.

• 53:44Travis McElroy?

  Got the crocs with the exclusive gibbets. Check out this heel.

• 53:48Griffin McElroy?

  Is that what those are called?

• 53:49Travis McElroy?

  Let me shrink it. Let me go.

• 53:51Griffin McElroy?

  You can't shrink that heel.

• 53:52Travis McElroy?

  I love that heel.

• 53:53Travis McElroy?

  Check out this heel. Look at that. That's fun and funky.

• 53:55Griffin McElroy?

  That's fun.

• 53:56Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Crocs.

• 53:57Travis McElroy?

  This makes sense to me.

• 53:58Travis McElroy?

  They got the brief. They understood the assignment. They touched Oz.

• 54:02Travis McElroy?

  They touched Oz.

• 54:04Griffin McElroy?

  Now, who else touched Oz? Well, it's, it's.

• 54:07Travis McElroy?

  Hey guys, the drinkware on this movie is fucked.

• 54:11Griffin McElroy?

  Dude, they've run out of, they've run out of realms to conquer and have started to like, invent entirely new kind of aesthetics.

• 54:21Travis McElroy?

  This is dragon glassware. This is the official glassware, right? So we have tumblers. It's all about the accessories. These are big tumblers with some straw gibbets. You can sip wickedly anywhere with this spellbinding.

• 54:36Griffin McElroy?

  Sip our wicked giblets.

• 54:39Travis McElroy?

  From the wicked chalice of gibbets. Touch Oz and sip the wicked gibbet. I'm here to sip giblets and touch Oz and I'm fresh out of gibbets. Sip the wicked giblets of Oz.

• 54:53Griffin McElroy?

  That's what Ariana Grande's face was communicating on the hostess box.

• 54:57Travis McElroy?

  Piggy.

• 54:58Griffin McElroy?

  Sip these giblets.

• 55:00Travis McElroy?

  Sip gizzard piglet.

• 55:07Travis McElroy?

  Sip gizzard piglet. This is a new sip from R E M. It's called sip gizzard piglet. It comes in three ounce and 64 ounce gallon bottles for you fucking dogs. So that's just the glassware, but don't worry, Owala is there. Owala's got the bottle.

• 55:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 55:26Travis McElroy?

  And Yeti has the insulated cup with the lid.

• 55:30Griffin McElroy?

  That's a pink cup that says wicked.

• 55:32Travis McElroy?

  Just says wicked.

• 55:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, that's.

• 55:35Travis McElroy?

  They did not touch Oz. The Owala bottles, fuck, but I can't spend 60 more dollars on frigging Owala bottles.

• 55:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 55:45Travis McElroy?

  I want to spend $3 on ready to bake wicked for good. I put this one in just as a normal one.

• 55:52Griffin McElroy?

  That's a normal one, yes, absolutely.

• 55:53Travis McElroy?

  Sojourn, right? Like there's sugar cookies. It's not the tier. Like normally Pillsbury does the least amount of effort where they make a huge like 80 mile log with Buddy the Elf's face in them. And then they cut them into a million segments and ship them out to America. These at least have frosting.

• 56:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, that's cool.

• 56:11Travis McElroy?

  Appreciate that. Oh yeah, there's an entire goddamn Kaboodles collection, but I gotta bring, we gotta come back for that.

• 56:18Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know what a Kaboodle is.

• 56:20Travis McElroy?

  Wait, what?

• 56:21Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know what a Kaboodle is.

• 56:23Travis McElroy?

  Okay, I gotta switch my tab. One second, Griffin. You've seen like a, a old man with a fishing tackle box, right? That's a Kaboodle, a fishing tackle. Fishing tackle box is called a kaboodle? It's like a tackle box, but it's pink and costs 80 bucks. So they've got a kaboodle alphabet essence on the go girl. And then there's a Glenda glam on go girl. Glam on? Glam on the go girl. Then there's four piece for good set for good compact bundle. I did want to mention this, this was not, uh, this was not an actual one. Um, because, uh, this is not a partnership, but it was the product that made me, um, think about it.

• 57:07Travis McElroy?

  Insomnia cookies, which has a, has a branch locally had a, um, for good cookies pack. And it was four.

• 57:20Travis McElroy?

  Good. Oh, boy. Cookies and two were pink and two were green. And it's like. I still don't. The like, it's the four. Four. Four, you gotta really. Four. Four. Good. And two were, uh, uh, chocolate with green sprinkles. And then there was like one with pink sprinkles. It was the four good. Yeah. Anyway. Get it? Uh, next up, uh, let me switch away from the kaboodles. There's so many, can I just say adult and kid kaboodles and kaboodle accessories? Yeah. And truly, truly unhinged level of kaboodles. Let me switch back to my normal tab. Also, there was some promise of me getting this smell Jonathan Bailey.

• 58:04Travis McElroy?

  Still waiting to smell JB. Oh, my God. That's cool, though. That's a cool rug. Not for 550 goddamn American dollars. For $550 rugable, it better be cool. It's Elphaba's layer emerald rug. Now, it promises to defy gravity. And if I sit on that rug and it does not lift me off the ground, I would like my money back. That is one notable thing, Trav. I feel like with rugs specifically, you cannot promise gravity defying. Defy gravity in any space. Elphaba's layer, that's what it says. Elphaba's layer emerald rug features a flow of color to symbolize Elphaba's transformation. Pops of pink, blue and magenta hidden her bond with Glenda while hidden motifs, her glasses and hat will delight any wicked fan.

• 58:47Griffin McElroy?

  That was cool. You became like a different person every 23rd word or so in there. Whoa, that's a little, now that's a little Jonathan Bailey made out of soap, it looks like.

• 58:58Travis McElroy?

  Uh, that's a little Jonathan Bailey made out of soap. It's from Lush. You can take a shower Jonathan Bailey's head and smell the Jonathan Bailey smell and you can do this.

• 59:08Griffin McElroy?

  So the vascularity on this soap man is crazy. Uh, let's start there.

• 59:12Travis McElroy?

  You should, before you, you should understand.

• 59:16Griffin McElroy?

  There's a twist. Yeah, Griffin. You should watch the movies, Griffin. You don't need a brain to figure out that the wicked. You don't need a brain to figure out that our wicked for good ex lush body scrub will lead you to the dreamiest skin this side of Oz. Enchanted with our let the good times roll fragrance, you'll be on the road to compliments in no time. Do you guys think you would rub the Jonathan Bailey face soap on your body face first? Or would you leave that sort of for last? For last? For a treat? If you do it first, if you do it first, if you go in face first and you rub Jonathan Bailey's soapy sudsy face all over your torso and your gunk and stuff. It's going, you're gonna pull it back and the man will, the man won't be there anymore. He will, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:01Griffin McElroy?

  He will be, have been reduced into some sort of like mannequin. For last.

• 1:00:05Travis McElroy?

  I would boop him on the nose and say, I'm saving you for dessert. And then I'll just wash with every other part.

• 1:00:10Griffin McElroy?

  But if you do the backside first, it'll thin it out to a point where his face, I, I feel like is going to kind of like.

• 1:00:18Griffin McElroy?

  Stretch, distort and stretch and.

• 1:00:20Travis McElroy?

  Do, do you guys have any money left? Because if you just can spare me $450, I would love to sell you the wicked collection Elphaba embossed signature round dutch oven by La Crusette.

• 1:00:33Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. I mean, quality brand, I, I'm not.

• 1:00:36Travis McElroy?

  Quality brand, quality brand. I will say. Personally, I think you are paying a huge premium for the name when it comes to the locker set.

• 1:00:45Griffin McElroy?

  You saw it on Top Chef.

• 1:00:46Travis McElroy?

  It's the the que- you can get away with a Cuisinart Dutch oven for about a fourth of the price.

• 1:00:51Travis McElroy?

  Or even better, man, go to a fucking thrift store, go to a flea market.

• 1:00:56Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Travis.

• 1:00:57Griffin McElroy?

  But this one got Elphaba.

• 1:00:58Travis McElroy?

  It does got Elphaba, but I don't often pull out my Dutch oven and think, I hope people are looking at this. I'm gonna show this off to all my friends.

• 1:01:09Griffin McElroy?

  Dutch oven is such a-

• 1:01:10Travis McElroy?

  Will you read the text? I've been doing so many of these, they're really fun.

• 1:01:12Griffin McElroy?

  Grounded and strengthened, unapologetically bold, the Elphaba Embossed Signature Round Dutch Oven celebrates the beauty of standing apart. Its rich finish, signature black nickel knob, and deep matte black interior give this limited edition piece an unforgettable presence. It's made for cooks who lead with conviction and embrace their own path.

• 1:01:31Travis McElroy?

  And I guess the pink one, the Glenda one is also cool.

• 1:01:37Travis McElroy?

  We just didn't, yeah.

• 1:01:38Griffin McElroy?

  Copy on that one.

• 1:01:39Travis McElroy?

  You know, standard.

• 1:01:41Travis McElroy?

  It's good, too.

• 1:01:42Travis McElroy?

  Hey, are you a coward chef who doesn't embrace your own path and has no conviction? We made one for you, too.

• 1:01:50Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I wanna say, I wanna give big credit to the people at Foster Grant, cuz nobody touched Oz harder than the copywriters at Foster Grant. You got your Osmopolitan shades, your not your basic witch shades, and the Glendified shades, all a very reasonable forty dollars.

• 1:02:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:10Travis McElroy?

  Hey, thank you.

• 1:02:12Travis McElroy?

  Trav, would you do the honors?

• 1:02:13Travis McElroy?

  Does someone need a makeover? Let Glenda take over with these chic oval sunny, what, inspired by the movie Wicked. Featuring rose colored lenses and signature Glenda details like custom invented butterfly pattern and textured scroll detailing on the temples. Watch out, you might end up on the cover of Osmopolitan. Each-

• 1:02:38Travis McElroy?

  They just went out way far.

• 1:02:40Travis McElroy?

  They're out in space now. They're inventing in-world publications, man. They're gone.

• 1:02:45Griffin McElroy?

  That's so sick. If it went on and was like, better watch out because silly Chamberlain there is the editor in chief. And if you don't get in good with him, it'll be a real smear piece.

• 1:02:58Travis McElroy?

  Watch out, the wizard's secret brother might show up and take you to Oz too? What? But don't worry, Tal Croker, the frog newscaster is there to protect you from the evil. Okay, click this link to go to my AO3 page. Uh oh. Read the rest of. The Tin Man's here. Puzzle to find the next website. The Tin Man's here and he needs a kiss.

• 1:03:26Travis McElroy?

  Uh, there, there's, uh, so many Pumas. Okay. Look at all these Pumas they did about Wicked. Speedcap ballet silver slippers. Those are so, those are so sad. The problem with them, the problem is they know how to do good stuff that makes us want to buy it. Now wait. Look at this bottle of Robinson's Squash. Another issue I have with this product, same I have with the Hostess box. I do not need Cynthia Revo looking at me disappointed as I drink my refreshing carbonated beverage. The look that she is giving to me is. Withering, she's never drank squash ever. She doesn't know what it is. She doesn't know why she's on this bottle.

• 1:04:06Travis McElroy?

  This, I feel like they took this picture of Cynthia Revo specifically for the bottle of Robinson's Squash. Like Cynthia, here's the picture today. This is for the, the label of Robinson's Squash. Yeah, I got it. I got it. Say no more. Take the picture. Perfect, perfect. I got it.

• 1:04:26Travis McElroy?

  And that is, that is all the products. Goodness. Uh, in the wicked, in the wicked line, uh, for this year. Um, there's probably about a hundred and fifty more. That's all the ones we have. Just the wilder ones like it, it.

• 1:04:41Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Hey everybody, speaking of products. There's a new Taz Balance dice tray.

• 1:04:48Travis McElroy?

  Available in the McRoy merch store.

• 1:04:51Travis McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:52Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:52Travis McElroy?

  The day that this comes out on the first, because it's a new month, new you.

• 1:04:56Griffin McElroy?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:04:57Travis McElroy?

  Uh, and you can get that bundled with the Taz dice and a sticker and everything on our merch store. 10% is going to go to Harmony House, which is also who we're partnering with for Candle Knights. Justin, tell us about Candle Knights.

• 1:05:12Travis McElroy?

  Oh, Trav, Candle Knights is going to be great this year, man. We got so many live acts. That's right. It's in person. It's going to be the beautiful newly renovated Keith Albee Theater.

• 1:05:22Griffin McElroy?

  We are the first show. We are the first show being put on at this renovated Keith Albee Theater. That's.

• 1:05:27Travis McElroy?

  From what I hear, it's astounding in there and you've, uh, you, you really don't want to miss it. But if you can't make it, we are going to do a virtual version of the show too. We're going to be filming it and putting it up for VOD. You get that like included with your ticket. If you come in person, but you can also get that digitally. Uh, that is going to go live December 19th and 9pm and we'll be live in the chat like watching that. Uh, you can go to bit.ly forward slash Candle Knights 2025 to get in-person tickets or to get the live stream tickets. And all the proceeds for that are going to Harmony House also, which is seeks to end homelessness in our area. And if you've been following the news about the way funding has recently been changing for

• 1:06:09Travis McElroy?

  uh, housing and transitional services, you should know that, um, it's, it's a pretty dire need. So if you can, uh, come or, uh, buy a virtual ticket, we would really, really appreciate it. Anything you do is a big help.

• 1:06:21Griffin McElroy?

  The live show is this week. We did not mention it's December 6th. Uh, so that is when you are hearing this, it's this Friday, uh, or this Saturday. Sorry. Uh, my apologies. This Saturday, 7pm, Keith Albee Huntington. Come, it'll be fun. Got a bunch of.

• 1:06:34Travis McElroy?

  Also like it. Two other things to know about. One, Death Bart went up last week. So if you missed that, go listen to that.

• 1:06:40Travis McElroy?

  Tell death to us blart.

• 1:06:41Travis McElroy?

  Tell death to us blart.

• 1:06:42Griffin McElroy?

  Correct. The full name. We only do the show once a year.

• 1:06:44Travis McElroy?

  We all know it once a year.

• 1:06:45Travis McElroy?

  And Champions Grove, uh, packages are on sale. WWW dot Champions Grove dot com. If you haven't checked it out, go check it out now. Get all the information. It's a weekend long gaming event that I host at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio. It's incredible and we want to see you there.

• 1:07:01Griffin McElroy?

  Also, if you don't watch our live stream that we do, the McElroy Family Clubhouse every Tuesday, well, it would be a weird time to start because we are on a season break until next year, but our finale was we recreated the old Nickelodeon game show Nick Arcade. And I'm really proud of how that, how that

• 1:07:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:21Griffin McElroy?

  A bold, ambitious experience sort of went. So that's over on our YouTube.

• 1:07:25Travis McElroy?

  Speaking of, follow at McElroy Entertainment System on Instagram. It's a new account to help you find all the video game stuff that we do.

• 1:07:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, we're gonna be doing more gaming stuff next year. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Can I read the final fear?

• 1:07:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, but you need to thank Montane for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better With You.

• 1:07:43Griffin McElroy?

  Dang it, you're right, Trav. Do you want to do it?

• 1:07:46Travis McElroy?

  I just did.

• 1:07:47Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, well, thanks, Montane, for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better With You. Here's the fear. "This year, I want to be faster than my fear of the road laws changing and having to learn how to drive on the left side of the street."

• 1:08:00Travis McElroy?

  Why, he was Justin McElroy.

• 1:08:04Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy.

• 1:08:05Travis McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy. My brother, my brother, me kiss your dad, square on the lips.