#654 - Something New

Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about his weekend at the Supercross, the beef between the Pope and the President, and how crows are cleaning up the streets of Sweden. He also responds to some of your voicemails and talks to a caller about breaking negative cycles. Busboys Movie: Get tickets at https://www.busboysmovie.com ------------------------------------------------- Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo Blue Chew: Discover your options at http://BlueChew.com Buy two months and get the third for FREE with promo code THEO. Valor Recovery: To learn more about Valor Recovery please visit them at https://valorrecoverycoaching.com/ or email them at [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Producer: Halston https://www.instagram.com/halstonrays/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 0:41Theo Von?

  I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. My god, I gotta get a haircut before a hunter shoots me. This is a lot. Um, I want to say, uh, just, I want to say, just a message just to thank everybody, um,

• 1:24Theo Von?

  for showing up, who was able to show up and, uh, and check out Bus Boys, uh, in the movie theaters this weekend. Um, it means a lot, you know? Uh, we had just so many people that showed up and did something on social media or showed some love. Um, there was a guy who went by, he got to the theater, he was the only person there, and so he sat in there with his shirt off and watched it, uh, which is pretty cool. Um, my friend Richie, he's like, dude, I hadn't been to a movie in eight years, and he went over there, uh, by himself and watched. And, and I know that was a lot of people who, um, I got messages from my friend Betsy,

• 2:03Theo Von?

  um, my teachers from growing up, um, just so many people, family, uh, and you guys, um, who are my family also. And uh, and yeah, just the support. I just felt supported and it was just, it was, it felt a little spooky to try and do, like to do something you hadn't done, like, and have everybody see it, like the, like, you know, like, I'm gonna be a Olympic diver or whatever, and then everybody shows up for your first dive, kind of shit. So, um, anyway, that might be a bad correlation, but, um, but yeah, just thank you so much, and I appreciate

• 2:42Theo Von?

  you, and, um, and, uh, and I appreciate that, your support, and I hope that in our lifetime, um, that I can return the favor. Thank you. And if you haven't gotten to see it, uh, busboysmovie.com, it's expanding to more theaters, I believe, and so you can check it out there. And if not, it'll be somewhere where you can watch it online, uh, after that. And, um, yeah, thank you so much.

• 3:08Theo Von?

  Also, Lexington, Kentucky, the home of Paul Revere, baby. I'm coming back for three shows, one on Friday, May 1st, and then two shows on Saturday, May 2nd. Um, that's the return of the Rat Tour, and I think that's the end. That'll be the end of it. Um, I hope to see you there. You can get tickets only at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.

• 3:36Theo Von?

  Gang, gang, baby. Buzz, buzz, baby. It's, it's springtime, you know, I, I talk about springtime a lot, you know, because it's a time kind of for something new. Um, and the bees, you see them bees out there. And them bees, baby, them things, they, you know, I saw a bee the other day, because they're out there pollinating. And they're pollinating, bro, and that's when they're basically, uh, you know what I'm saying? They out there.

• 4:10Theo Von?

  You know, they listening to Cardi B, they're do- they're out there, they're out there. They're on spring break, baby, when they're pollinating. They're on spring break, they're out there. I saw one bee fly right out of one flower and right, just right into another. Didn't even wash his hands after being in the first one. I said, that's, that's a lot for me. You know, just, and he just went one right into the next one. Just cheating on a tulip with a daffodil. He didn't even, you know. And I could see he kinda stopped on the edge of the tulip. He's like, yeah, I'mma call you, I'mma holla at you. You know, I'mma get at you. I gotta go, I gotta go to work or something. And then he kinda buzzed one way and then skirt. Bam. And he was laid up with a couple daffodils over there, boy.

• 4:56Theo Von?

  Cause bees, they don't, you know, they just, they just trying to get their rocks off out there. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's the truth. But we need them.

• 5:07Theo Von?

  We need bees out there. You know, I ain't trying to be a snitch, but I saw a bee and a wasp running a little two man over there. With a, uh, with a couple boogin' villias. You know, and them, them villias was boogin', homie. I mean, shorty had some, had some petals on her. You know what I'm saying, gang? I'm upstairs. But yeah, this, the, the springtime, man, I, I, you know, I, I like the springtime. I like it because it just gives me,

• 5:41Theo Von?

  it gives me a reminder just that there's something new can happen. That thing, that there's a refresh. You know, that there's, that, that, that, there's a, there's a, there's possibility, there's, you know, just that something new can happen. And I really like that. I like the springtime.

• 6:01Theo Von?

  And that's how I feel about it.

• 6:04Theo Von?

  And we went over to Supercross. Now, I don't know if you've ever been to Supercross. You know, because there's, you know, we all know there's the cross and that's where Jesus died on. And that's, that's the most popular one. But, you know, and a little, well, a decent ways down from that, but still out there is Supercross. And that, you know, I didn't know, I didn't know anything about Supercross. I don't know if you know anything about it. But if you don't, if you don't know anything about it, then, then, then that's how I am. That's how I, then you're, then we're the same because I didn't know anything about it, bro.

• 6:41Theo Von?

  But those bikes, man, I walked into, I went to Nissan Stadium. I went to Nissan Stadium. And Nissan Stadium, I thought you go in there, it's just a bunch of Nissans trying to, you know, looking for a place to park or a bunch of Asian dudes with a bunch of tricked out Nissans in there. You know, because Nissan is Asian. People don't realize that. People think it's just, just a word that doesn't even mean anything, but it's Nissan.

• 7:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's Asian, bro. And so I thought it was going to be like that, but, um, but the bikes, man, the bikes are just

• 7:27Theo Von?

  and then they had one little gay biker kind of pad by. He'd be like,

• 7:33Theo Von?

  the engine, it's like, you hear like,

• 7:38Theo Von?

  and then a little gay biker be like, oh, who wants to come over to my place or whatever. Like, damn, that bike, they got that thing tuned, they got that thing tuned hot. That thing's coming in hot, boy. He just wants mechanics to come over and help it. That bike was just like, um, bro, oh, my engine's broken. That's a trap, baby. B's in a trap. That thing's a trap.

• 8:04Theo Von?

  So they got that they they kind of bait that that that bike gets put in because you got the other bikes just

• 8:12Theo Von?

  One guy broke it broke his whole Neck, leg, everything. He broke everything he had. He had all he'd already broke, I think, his neck or something. They'd taken part of his leg. He said and put it in his neck. And I'm like, damn, that bitch out here leg necking. And then I think he cracked that bitch on one of the turns, man. It was but it's intense out there.

• 8:39Theo Von?

  Hey, who wants to talk? You know, who wants to talk behind the gas tank? You know, just but anyway, lot of different engines out there.

• 8:50Theo Von?

  But it was fascinating.

• 8:53Theo Von?

  And you know, I I I I and uh and the bikes, the bikes that they use, the motorbikes, they're they're bitching, man. Them bikes are bitchin'. And I didn't think I would like a dirt bike. Because first of all, it's got dirt on it.

• 9:09Theo Von?

  You know what I'm saying? If somebody tried to get get you involved with selling you another item. And they say, you want this dirt shirt? Or whatever you want this uh dirt baby carriage? You know what I'm saying? You want these dirt tits? You gonna say, ah, nah, man. Miss me with that.

• 9:32Theo Von?

  But a dirt bike, it just I don't know. It broke the mold, I'll say that. Because if you look at the uh

• 9:43Theo Von?

  the food, you know, the uh what's it called? Like a lion eats a dolphin or whatever the um?

• 9:52Speaker 01

  The food chain.

• 9:53Theo Von?

  When you look at the food chain of transportation, you don't think about a dirt bike.

• 9:59Theo Von?

  Mostly when you think of transportation, you go, you start at the top, you think fighter jet, plane, tank, um,

• 10:09Theo Von?

  truck, car, skateboard, piggyback. I guess that's a mode of transportation kinda, um.

• 10:20Theo Von?

  Yeah, it won't get you far, you know, but you'll be, you'll be better off than the guy you riding on when you pull up, you know? Um, then it goes dirt bike, hitchhiking,

• 10:31Theo Von?

  and just, uh, wishing you were somewhere else. And that's the echelons of transportation right there.

• 10:40Theo Von?

  But one thing I also loved about Supercross is they, they brought in 26 million pounds of dirt for the event. So when they made all the, um, triangles, that's what it is, when they made all those dirt triangles,

• 11:00Theo Von?

  they had 26 million pounds of dirt. So that's just incredible. And then I said to the guy, well, what do y'all do afterwards? And he's like, well, we store it at different places around town. I said, damn, bro, that's crazy. They got that shit probably stored everywhere.

• 11:15Theo Von?

  I say, look, rent out, you, you could rent out, uh, two corners of my, uh, of my, of my house. I'll rent you out two corners over there, stack a little bit of dirt in them bitches for $18, bro, $30, $40.

• 11:29Theo Von?

  That's what I'm living like. Cause I'm saying if they got 26 million pounds of that shit to get to, to hide away. The guy said, yeah, we just, we store it around town and we come back and get it next year. I'm like, dang, y'all coming back? If y'all coming back to get that shit, I'll charge you 61, I'll charge you $40 a month.

• 11:56Theo Von?

  To keep that shit, you keep eight pounds of that shit and I got a couple of empty cupboards in the kitchen, ain't nothing in them bitches. One of them has a air fryer in it. I will fill that bitch up. I'll keep, I'll fuck, I'll keep ten square inches of that damn dirt warm for you. I'll get, yeah, I'll keep some of that shit warm for, I'll air fry that shit. And we'll get you back some quality dirt, bruh. And that's gonna now be fifty dollars a month. But that's the kind of business we need is to say, if you come to my house, you say, "Look, ay, bruh, hold a little bit of this dirt for me, bruh." I got you, gang. That's who I am.

• 12:38Theo Von?

  But yeah, I had a nice time over there, man, and then, uh... And, and just to go do something different, do something new, I'd never been. I just got invited, I went over. I got to meet some of the, some of the drivers. Um, Seth, there's a guy named Seth, a dude named Jet I met, uh, Eli, he, he, he kept winning. And, uh, Mr. Stewart, he was in there, the boss, young boss. Um, but yeah, these dudes, bro, it's just like, I think the thing that was the most neat to me about it was that it felt like you were just a kid. Everybody, it felt like there's this kid thing of wanting to like, just ride your bike, you know? Um, and that was pretty magical in there.

• 13:23Theo Von?

  And yeah, people were just having a good time. I think it's a great thing to take your, your family to, I think you, I think you could go watch it and, uh, I don't work for them or anything, I just, I went and had a nice time. Uh, separately from that, what did I do? I went down and saw my stepdad and, uh, I got to take him out for his birthday. And we went over there, uh, down, uh, where I'm from. Went to, uh, Mandeville Seafood over there, I think they got some of the best seafood, uh, on the north, so I think they, they really get it done. I like they got a fried shrimp, po' boy, that be, ooh. That be... Yeah, yeah, ay. And I walked in, bruh, I could hear that fryer, the fryer knew I was coming.

• 14:08Theo Von?

  You could hear the fryer, that deep fryer rub his hands together in the back of that beer. He knew I'd walked in, 'cause I get it, I, boy, I will take care of some fried shrimp. So if you have a fried shrimp problem in your area...

• 14:26Theo Von?

  Hit my line, twin.

• 14:29Theo Von?

  But so that was nice and my stepdad and I sat over there, it's not my real stepdad, but he kinda has just been a big influence in my life. I lived with their family for a long time and blessings to him.

• 14:41Theo Von?

  What else is going on?

• 14:45Theo Von?

  Oh, I went to the farmer's market.

• 14:49Theo Von?

  And that was fun.

• 14:52Theo Von?

  And I like that farmer's market. I like to see people making things and then you get to learn about the people that are doing it and it just feels like so much more of like a community than like an Amazon or something like that.

• 15:08Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 15:10Theo Von?

  The comparison of getting something through Amazon and going to a farmer's, it's not even a comparison. You know, just the energy you get from seeing people and seeing them with their families, you know, especially a lot of farmer's markets, they start up around springtime and I know everybody can't afford a farmer's market. I know some of the pricing is different and

• 15:29Theo Von?

  and some people, they don't have farmer's markets by them.

• 15:34Theo Von?

  But if you, some people never even been to one.

• 15:38Theo Von?

  But yeah, I just enjoyed it because also it gives me a different respect for the food. You know, if I buy something that I've learned about and that I know where it's come from, I think I'm a, I think I engage with it differently.

• 15:58Theo Von?

  You know, like, uh,

• 16:02Theo Von?

  I don't know, it's not, sometimes in my life, food has just been kind of,

• 16:08Theo Von?

  I don't know, I've just, I've just absorbed it or ate or whatever, just kinda nonchalantly. I don't know the customer. I don't know where this stuff's from. I don't know, you know, what the, what it is, what it's made. I don't know anything about it. So what do I care? But then, yeah, I think this was interesting to just to get some stuff. I got some milk over there. And they'll milk anything in that bitch, though. I ain't gonna lie. Things you never even, they goddamn moon milk in that bitch. I'm like, dang. Somebody got up there and squeezed the biggest tit in the world, you feel me? Got, somebody was up there just pushing, making that crescent drip, homie.

• 16:49Theo Von?

  Um, but they, they got everything in there. Grass milk, cat milk, uh. They was, somebody had, uh, just, was just, they had two dudes just milking each other, a couple of gay dudes over there, bruh. And I didn't say nothing. I didn't have any, you know? But I, you know, and they didn't even, yeah, but I ain't saying nothing, but, but I ain't saying nothing. And that's what it was. Anyway, what else? Um.

• 17:21Theo Von?

  But yeah, the fact they moved all that dirt in, it was just kind of fascinating to me. And just to learn something new, to do something new. It makes me feel more alive, kinda, cause sometimes I get pretty set in my ways. Um, we're gonna go to some calls and stuff. Uh. What else? Um, what do we got in the news, Trevin? Anything that's, uh, you noticed?

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Did you see this Pope Leo and Trump beef?

• 17:44Theo Von?

  Pope Leo and Trump? Oh, yeah. I mean, this is unbelievable. The, uh, where he's like, the Pope is weak on crime, that one?

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:53Theo Von?

  Well, after Trump's tweet on Easter.

• 17:58Theo Von?

  You know, just tweeting about the annihilation of people. Bring up the tweet so, so I can be clear on what it is. If you see that Easter tweet, it's, it's, it's cra- and this was on Truth Social, um. Tuesday will be power plant day and bridge day, all wrapped up in one in Iran. There will be nothing like it. Open the fucking straight, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in hell. Just watch. Praise be to Allah, President Trump. I mean, that's just, on Easter, that's unbelievable. You know, when people are hoping for something new, literally on the day when people are hoping and are believing with their hearts as much as they can.

• 18:37Theo Von?

  And are celebrating something new, a rebirth, a resurrection, a possibility.

• 18:44Theo Von?

  To write that is, it's diabolical. It's insane.

• 18:52Theo Von?

  And I think my fear is that after they, after, uh, you know, Israel just moved from Gaza to now it's Lebanon and it's Iran. They're on a time clock and I don't know why they're on a time clock, but it's, they've pressed the fast forward button on control at any cost.

• 19:12Theo Von?

  And I don't want to get too deep into it because I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to feel, I don't want to, you know, I want to, I want to stay in a place of possibility for myself. But I do fear that, that, that, that my, I think my biggest fear is that that stuff could come here.

• 19:29Theo Von?

  You know, with the technology that they're using to take on a lot of these crimes with the technology that, that they used to murder. I mean, it's

• 19:40Theo Von?

  in Gaza, it's just like when in these places in the Middle East with the technology they're using, they can, if they can instill that here, then we will be living under

• 19:50Theo Von?

  the watchful eye of like drones that could take you out if you don't, if they don't like something you write online.

• 20:00Theo Von?

  And that's scary. But when you're up against like things that seem this bizarre and insane,

• 20:08Theo Von?

  other things start to seem possible.

• 20:13Theo Von?

  And, um, and it's not, and what American is this helping?

• 20:21Theo Von?

  Besides the war, the industrial war complex, what, what American, what hard work, what guy who's trying to take care of, uh, of his family or a single mother who's a nurse who's going to work and has to get home and get to her kids ball game and, and has to be both parents. What, what farmer is this helping? What regular person is this helping?

• 20:46Theo Von?

  I just don't know. I don't understand. So yeah, that's what, that's what, uh, that's what our president's up to and it's fucking baffling. And it's sick and it feels like he's just been compromised by Israel, by this, this dark government over there. And, um,

• 21:06Theo Von?

  I don't know. It's fucking dark. It's dark. Um, what can we talk about? Yeah, it's dark shit over there. It's dark shit. I just don't, I don't know.

• 21:20Theo Von?

  Where do we get some leaders?

• 21:27Theo Von?

  Yeah, where do we get some leaders and how do we, I don't know. Fuck, I guess we start just by leading ourselves, huh?

• 21:35Theo Von?

  All right, let's get into a little bit of news here. What do we got, guys?

• 21:39Speaker 01

  So I don't know if you saw this, but Sweden has built vending machines for crows.

• 21:45Theo Von?

  Oh, wait, I, I did see this. I, I think I shared this a couple of months ago, maybe on TikTok. Uh,

• 21:52Theo Von?

  yes, Sweden built a smart machine where crows trade trash for food, turning these clever, clever birds into city cleaners. Corvids, the bird family that includes crows and ravens, are known for remarkable intelligence, including tool use, memory and problem solving skills. In controlled experiments, crows learn to drop cigarette filters into a specifically designed device. And then that device dispensed food. That's what we need, bro. That's the kind of thing we need. You teach a crow, hey, go pick up this trash, put it in here and then you get a little, uh, little McNugget or something. Something crows eat, a little bird omelet or something.

• 22:37Theo Von?

  You know, you get something like that. And that's the kind of things we need. And that's the kind of things I've been saying and praying for. You know, things that actually make society better, inventions that make society better. Rubber cars, I said that shit forever ago. Cause you'll see a car accident, the only thing that survived it was the damn tires. Well bitch, make the whole thing rubber. You could hit whoever the hell you want dude. You could hit your damn wife when she's leaving the house if you want. If she's in her rubber car as well, just give her a little bump, let her know. Let her know you got a little something for her when she gets back to the house, you know what I mean? Just give it a little bit of love tap. But yeah, if everybody's in a rubber car, you could damn, you could get real on the way to work.

• 23:23Theo Von?

  You know, or what about pants? I've always thought this would be a good invention, pants that walk for you. I'm talking about the e- um, electronic pants. And them bitches, they'll, they'll go. So you get in them. And then you just tell, you navigate on your phone, yeah. Take me to 13th Avenue or whatever. And then bitch, you just walk, you could, that way you can relax kinda. Cause your pants are gonna know when to stop and when to go. You know what I'm saying? You don't have to use all your muscles, cause your muscles can be calmer. Because the pants are gonna get you there. You can just relax, let your pants take you for a walk. You know, and if you wanna jog, turn them bitches up if you're running late. Cut them bitches loose, boy.

• 24:09Theo Von?

  They ain't got no governor on these jeans, baby girl. Cut them bitches loose. Or what about this? This was an invention, uh, that I thought of. What if they had earrings? You buy your wife these earrings and they, they, they whisper naughty stuff in her ear while she's at work. So then when she comes back to the house, you know what I'm saying? The ambiance has already been done.

• 24:36Theo Von?

  You know? She's at work, she's in the office or whatever and you, you know. You, you, you hit her up, you send her a little message, you know? Wish I was there right now. I'll bend you over that little, uh, paper shredder or whatever. I wanna hide in the recycling bin and lick your body or whatever. You could send little shit like that and then the earrings whisper it to her.

• 25:00Theo Von?

  I wanna lick your body in a recycling bin. Imagine that. So we've been needing positive stuff. I like the way they're getting birds involved in it. Let nature work. Cause a lot of birds have been out of work. Them bitches have been out of work. They used to be spies. Remember those Trevin?

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Birds Aren't Real Initiative, their drones.

• 25:22Theo Von?

  Pigeons, them bitches was working. Uh, storks used to bring babies. Them bitches was at it. Who else?

• 25:31Theo Von?

  Uh, the raven Edgar Allan Poe, he was putting them bitches to work and now they got crows popping off doing recycling.

• 25:42Theo Von?

  So yeah, I'm glad to see this. I'm glad to see animalia back hustling, man. Praise God. I love that dude. I love that. So.

• 25:52Theo Von?

  Yeah. So praise God, man. I love seeing this. I love seeing birds get active, boy. Get nature involved. What if they had a little squirrel and his job was just to, um, come, uh, use his tail just to, uh, buff your car? How great would that be? Somebody trains thirty, forty squirrels over there. You pull up, you stop, they clean it and then they, they got forty squirrels waxing that bitch with they tails, bruh. Come on, let's go. This is the future we want, not doing genocides. This is the shit we need. Praise God, brother. If somebody's sending you that you up and it's 2:00 AM, 3:00 AM, 38:00 AM, it don't matter.

• 26:37Theo Von?

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• 26:55Theo Von?

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• 27:40Theo Von?

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• 28:24Theo Von?

  I want to introduce you to my friend, Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors.

• 29:07Theo Von?

  To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www dot Valor Recovery Coaching dot com or email them at admin at Valor Recovery Coaching dot com. Thank you. Let's get into some calls that came from you guys.

• 29:33Theo Von?

  We got a call, let's hit the hotline, as always, the hotline is 985-664-9503. Amen to that. Here we go, we got a call right here.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Hey, Theo, I just want to say, hey, I really appreciate you, man. I, uh, I just finished my career as a DoorDash-er and I listened to all your podcasts while I was doing my career as a DoorDash-er.

• 30:00Theo Von?

  Let's go, brother, congratulations, brother. Onward.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  I actually hit the pinnacle. I didn't know where to, where to go after that, so I was calling in for some advice to see, you know, where, where you think a retired DoorDash-er should go, what I should do. I, uh, feel like I hit the pinnacle, man, and it's, it's really sad.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  Hope you have a great day, man. Cheers.

• 30:27Theo Von?

  Well, first of all, brother, I want to say, uh, can we get a couple gun salute for that guy, just for his service?

• 30:45Theo Von?

  Amen, brother. I think the first thing you gotta do, bro, you gotta join the reserves, man. Take a break. Take a break. You that, you, you are that hunger Santa, that DoorDash, you that hunger Santa, homie.

• 31:04Theo Von?

  And your service is appreciated. You, I mean, every, there's probably not a porch in town you haven't just dropped a damn McNuggets on it, or some Froyoed, or whatever. They're probably, they're probably in an apartment, welcome mat, you haven't set a little small sack of uh, McDobbles, or whatever. Or, uh, you know, a couple of, um, banana sundaes on that bitch, or some taquitos, or some burritos. You've put all that, there probably ain't a dang, uh, you probably have just a whole collection of photos of just a damn little sack of Jack in the Box.

• 31:46Theo Von?

  You're sitting right there, near a mat that says, "Home is where the heart is on it." I mean, God, your phone must be full, brother. You have served your time. And we thank you for your service, man. I think you gotta go into the reserves, bro. And every now and then they'll call you out, you know? We gotta get forty Big Macs, or whatever. Or we gotta get forty, um, you know, seed oil McNuggets, or whatever, over to, to this gymnasium. They'll bring you up for shit like that. Or if there's a flood, or whatever, and they gotta have somebody swim across a channel, just to deliver, just to to deliver a damn, uh, BLT to somebody. They'll bring you out.

• 32:32Theo Von?

  And you probably, you probably got a little bit of PTSD, I'm gonna say that right now, you know? I bet you got some PTSD, I would apply, I would apply to get some, uh, medical, uh, tuition to help you out with that. Cause you deserve that shit. I bet you'll just be driving through a neighborhood and you'll just run off, bro. And just deliver an invisible bag of something to an apartment. Just can't even help it. You know, I bet your wife might find you in the middle of the night, you out there ghost dashing. You just door dashing in your damn sleep, you out there walking backwards and shit. Wandering around a stranger's apartment complex with a damn sack of hot dogs and a side of fries, brother.

• 33:15Theo Von?

  Take a break.

• 33:18Theo Von?

  Take some time, baby. Sit at home, let it unwind. Forget about all the trenches you been in, dawg. Get some peace time, baby. Hit the reserves, man. We thank you for your service, baby. Praise God.

• 33:33Theo Von?

  God, I can't even believe that, man. And I'm not even brave enough to serve, to be honest with you. That's what gets me.

• 33:42Theo Von?

  That's what gets me, man. And you got this dude did 21 years as a door dasher. Watched his friends, probably, probably watched friends just drowning in deep fryers and shit.

• 33:55Theo Von?

  Watched a friend just slip on a damn, you know, cut a pickle or something that'd fall in out of a bag and broke his leg, broke his neck. Broke his, broke his leg neck.

• 34:08Theo Von?

  God, you don't, we don't think about that. We don't think when you laying in bed at night that in the distance, there are men running over hills, wandering through woods, swinging across vines of, with rivers filled with gators and, and bad bitches from Atlanta.

• 34:27Theo Von?

  Just to get a fucking sack of five guys to a, to a damn sig app house.

• 34:35Theo Von?

  We don't think about that shit.

• 34:38Theo Von?

  Less we forget, man.

• 34:42Theo Von?

  So go forth, young soldier, go forth and get you some peace time, brother. Take a deep breath and get you some relaxation. And we'll keep you in our prayers, brother. Praise God. Thank you for your service.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Fuck dude, I'm Alex and I'm from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I actually saw you at Wind Creek, but...

• 34:58Theo Von?

  Oh, thank you for calling, Alex. Onward.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  I even fucked up my sobriety date, but I'm 331 days sober today and it's like the longest I've ever gone.

• 35:08Theo Von?

  Let's go, bro. 331 days, that's amazing, dog. Congrats. Onward.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  I've been down on this shit for so long, dude, like a good 10 years, but I've never made it this far. I'm actually driving to Los Angeles, California right now. I'm moving out there from Bethlehem. And it's like 5:00 in the morning. I just have some questions about this sobriety thing. So I'm a professional snowboarder. I work with a lot of kids and I also work with a lot of other athletes. I just wonder how you maintain a positive attitude and stay social in these atmospheres when becoming freshly sober? I don't know. I just feel dull and a little less enthusiastic as I might have been before. I don't know. A little less enthusiastic, I'm trying to say.

• 35:59Theo Von?

  Thank you so much for your call, brother. I appreciate that. Congratulations on 331 days. Let's go. Dude, that's so great. That's a long time. How do you keep it going? I mean, and look, you talked about, you know, newly sober and you're not new. I mean, you all, I mean, I get... Look, I've been newly sober so many times. Let's call him up, can we?

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 36:29Theo Von?

  Hey, Alex?

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:31Theo Von?

  Hey, what's up, man? It's Theo.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Oh, what's up, Theo?

• 36:34Theo Von?

  Not much, bro. I was just checking in. I just, I got your voicemail, dude. I just wanted to say congratulations, man. Do you still have your sober time?

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I did, man. I'm so hyped.

• 36:46Theo Von?

  How many days you got right now?

• 36:47Speaker 03

  Holy shit, Theo Von, are you for real?

• 36:49Theo Von?

  Yeah, man. I just got your voicemail, dude.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  No way. That's crazy. I was driving to LA.

• 36:56Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's what you said.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  And I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna call the hotline and say hello.

• 36:59Theo Von?

  Oh, my guy.

• 37:03Theo Von?

  Bro, BLM, homie, that's what the fuck is up?

• 37:07Speaker 04

  Hell yeah, bro.

• 37:08Theo Von?

  Um, dude, that's great, bro. How are you feeling?

• 37:13Speaker 04

  I feel good. Uh, every day is a new day, so, you know, it comes with some battles, but I feel great today.

• 37:20Theo Von?

  Nice, dude. I know, isn't it crazy how some days will feel great and then that other day comes and you're like, "God, I just wanna pull my legs off and just hide them in somebody's ass, bro."

• 37:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, something like that. Sounds about right.

• 37:33Theo Von?

  Or you know what I'm saying, or just you have days where you're like, "How could it, how could it be so different than it was yesterday?" That's how I feel sometimes.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  Right, right. Yeah.

• 37:42Theo Von?

  What, what's the setup like there? You, do you feel like nervous about being out there? Like, what was the reason you, you were heading out to LA?

• 37:48Speaker 04

  Um, I actually moved in here with my girlfriend. Um, I wasn't really nervous to move out here. I'm kinda used to like being out in big crowds and shit, but I think it's just different now that I don't have substances to do anything, you know? And like, being in LA, like, the only things to do are really like at night unless you do like, I don't know, like, what do you do during the day?

• 38:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, you can hide from, to hide from traffic, that's what I did.

• 38:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, the traffic sucks.

• 38:16Theo Von?

  Bro, that's real shit. I would hide from traffic, bro. What else did I like to do? Oh, I did like to go to the beach. I like to go, uh...

• 38:25Theo Von?

  I mean, there's, there's a ton of stuff, but I'm not, probably not the best person to ask. I would kinda isolate a little bit, or I would also, I worked a lot during the day and I would try to hit like meetings in the evening or something, um...

• 38:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:35Theo Von?

  So, but at least you got your girl there, so that's exciting. So you got one person there that's, that you can connect with.

• 38:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it's super dope. And I have some friends that are out here too. So it's like, it's not the worst case scenario, you know?

• 38:47Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  So, it's not, it's definitely cool. I'm just trying to figure out what it is throughout the day, just in general, to do. Like, not, it doesn't even matter like if I'm in LA or not.

• 38:56Theo Von?

  You could have a job, you got a job?

• 38:59Speaker 04

  I do, yeah. I manage an athlete and I'm a professional snowboarder as well.

• 39:02Theo Von?

  Oh, that's right, you mentioned that you snowboard, dude, my bad. Um, okay, good.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  No, it's all good.

• 39:07Theo Von?

  Uh, yeah, dude, I think if you're brave enough to try something new like that and get out there, you're gonna, you'll figure that stuff out, dude. But I think, um... Yeah, I think like, I mean, for me, I just noticed the more I can take care of myself, the more I can be involved in other people's lives, like in a, uh, at least show up in other people's lives, you know, and, and then sometimes it's for better and sometimes it's not, sometimes I don't do the best, but at least I can show up, you know, so if I'm taking care of myself.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, that's how I feel too, yeah. If I just do the things I need to do and stay off all the bad shit.

• 39:43Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 04

  I kind of become a better person and being a good person and going and do things and being around other people feels a lot better, you know?

• 39:51Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  I don't know, I feel like less of a scumbag. I don't know, I'm trying to get all my thoughts, I'm honestly still mind blown that you called it.

• 39:56Theo Von?

  Dude, no worries. No, I think like, alright, let me think, I am too, bro. I think my energy's been weird today. I just like, some days I'm just like, uh, I feel like kind of spastic.

• 40:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:08Theo Von?

  Dude, I think though, but I will, I will say this, Los Angeles has one of the best sober communities in the whole world, bro, out there. There's so many great meetings where you hear, you hear some fricking amazing speakers and shit out there. I mean, people that fucking, people that were eating their own fingers and shit and like, dude, guys that were like, somebody cut his thumb off and filled it up with dope and put it in his own ass, but just people that are wilding, you know? People that are really looking for God the long, the long way, you know, taking the long way to the Lord.

• 40:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's definitely a lot of those war stories. I feel like when you're in LA and you like look around, you can obviously tell that there's a strong homeless community, which means there's definitely a strong sober community.

• 40:47Theo Von?

  Yeah, cuz those.

• 40:48Speaker 04

  You know, that even makes sense? I mean, that kind of makes sense, no?

• 40:50Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, bro, because those communities, it's a thin line between those two communities a lot of times, bro.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, for sure.

• 40:58Theo Von?

  Like, a lot of us are very, we've been close to that edge of just walking off into the oblivion.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  Dude, I doubt it, I doubt it. I've been battling this shit for so long, I was like, I can't even believe I've gotten this far.

• 41:11Theo Von?

  Amen. This is the farthest, this is the longest you've had, huh?

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, way past the longest I've ever had.

• 41:16Theo Von?

  And what do you think's been the secret?

• 41:18Speaker 04

  I think the last time I did this, I only had a couple months.

• 41:21Theo Von?

  Hell, yeah, dude. And what, and sorry, I stepped in your shoes there, but yeah, what do, what do, what do you think's been like, honestly, when you think about it and you're honest to yourself, what do you think's been the most helpful thing to you?

• 41:31Speaker 04

  Um.

• 41:33Theo Von?

  Or would you do differently?

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Uh, what did I do differently? I don't, you know what, dude? I, I did have a pretty scary heart situation that happened to me last year where I've had like two near death experiences with a heart condition I didn't even know I really had. And I had to get two heart surgeries and I think that kind of opened up my mind a little bit to it. And then, but even then, after I was done with the heart surgeries and my heart was kind of like back to normal per se, because it was a pretty simple fix. I was drinking so much and, but I wasn't drugging as much and my girlfriend was like, kind of telling me, she's like, hey, like, do you like realize how much you drink? And then I just took a step back and realized, and I think that's when it all finally came to me that like,

• 42:15Speaker 04

  I've actually never stopped doing something, you know, I was always doing something, you know? Other than the time when I, you know, I was, I was ODing when I was a bit younger in my lower twenties and I had no choice but to go to meetings and try and stay clean. Cause my brother was also getting clean at the time. So that was a whole other thing. Yeah. The story goes on forever, man. You know how it is, but.

• 42:38Theo Von?

  Yeah. And then sometimes we get tired of writing that story, dude. That's what I start to notice for myself, man. You know, I get tired of writing that old story. Cause like, man, I've written this, you know? Like just, I've written it a lot, you know, and so I want to change it. But, um, cool, man. I got to finish taping this episode, but, uh, yeah, dude, I just wanted to say, I just want to say, I appreciate you calling in. Thanks for like, just like, uh, yeah, including us in your drive across the country. And, um, yeah, dude, I'm glad that you got like, dude, you're like the, one of those astronauts on Artem or so whatever. You're out in some new territory, bro. Coming up on one year. That's wild.

• 43:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude, it's crazy. No, I appreciate you for reaching out, dude. Obviously a super, uh, I'm a super fan. I've been watching this shit or listening to this shit for, for years.

• 43:22Theo Von?

  Oh, thanks, bro. That's.

• 43:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, we were watching it last night. What's the one we were watching last night? Fucking. Oh yeah. The one with Timothy Chalamet. Cause I didn't hear that one, but I usually listen every week.

• 43:31Theo Von?

  Oh yeah. That dude's a G, bro. He's a, that guy's got so much charm in him. He's just full of damn charm. He's just a damn charm.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:38Theo Von?

  Like a damn charm animal.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, bro. No, but I appreciate you, Theo. Thank you so much, man. I've made my day. It's really, really dope.

• 43:49Theo Von?

  Oh, thanks, bro. Yeah, I appreciate you, dude. I appreciate you too. And thanks for just, uh, yeah, sharing the message, man. I think there's never too, too much of it, so. I appreciate you, man. Have fun out there. Uh, give our best to your, uh, to your old lady and, uh, and good luck on a year, man. I, I know we'll see you there.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  All right. Thank you so much, Theo. Have a good one, man.

• 44:08Theo Von?

  All right. Praise, bro. Be good. That's awesome, dude. He sound like an upbeat guy. I'm like, dude, it sounds like, he sounds kinda like, like he, like, uh, he just sound like he had a good energy, huh?

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. I mean, he's a snowboarder.

• 44:23Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude. You, yeah, you were doing enough, dude. You can't be, uh, doing snow and riding on it. You know what I'm saying? Like, you can't. Fuck. I would lose my mind out there. I'd be out there lost in the middle of the night. Just literally trying to snort up a damn mogul. You know? I'd get a brain freeze. That's when you know. Anyway, let's get our, let's get some help. Um, yeah. Blessings to you, Alex. Let's, let's take another call here.

• 44:53Speaker 05

  Hey, Theo. Longtime listener, first time caller. Um, man, I just wanted to call and say, appreciate everything you do. And, uh, you know, I was listening to your Ella Langley podcast about like, we all, she was saying how we all, this is our first go around, right? You know, we're all just living for the first time. And, uh, I think I've been struggling lately with, um, feeling like, almost like I'm stuck in this cycle. Where, you know, you're alone, you're lonely, you're by yourself, which, you know, sometimes isn't like the best thing for you to do, but it's almost like, uh, second nature. It's just what you retreat to.

• 45:36Speaker 05

  And then you, you know, you then you wanna go out and you go out and you hang out with your buddies and you have sometimes like a wild night, you get influenced by like what you think they want, what you think the world want, what Instagram and all, you know, social media tells you to do. So you're drinking, you might even fucking get your nose a little bit dirty like you used to. And, uh, you know, you're trying to get all the girls' numbers and like fucking, you know, have a, have a grand old time and you're out all night and then, uh, you kind of wake up the next day feeling like shit and you're like, I'm not even any closer to my goals. I'm not getting where I need to be. Um, but then you just kind of fucking retreat and then you do it all over again. And, uh, I know,

• 46:18Speaker 05

  you know, I feel like maybe you once went through this and I think a lot of guys go through this. And, you know, I've shut off social media, I've tried to like, I've gone through periods where I didn't drink for long, long periods of time and, uh, I know you sometimes just always go back to this because then you're just like, what's the point? You know, we're only, you know, got one go around on this, like, am I gonna like waste my youth? Am I gonna waste my opportunities? Um, but I'm no closer to my goals and I think I'm, you know, I, uh, I lost my job last year and, uh, I'm supposed to be like studying and trying to get ahead for some stuff that's gonna give me a better job. But a lot of time I just kind of let the days go by and now I'm stuck here, you know, by myself, sitting in my room after the weekend, kind of just fucking,

• 47:03Speaker 05

  I don't know, man, feeling down and, uh, I don't even know why, okay, you know? And I just wanted to know how you deal with this, how you get yourself out of this? How do you get to a better life? How do you get to a place where like you're not just cycling through and you're actually moving toward things that you want? And I appreciate your advice. All right, Theo, thanks, man.

• 47:23Theo Von?

  Thanks so much for the call. I don't think you said your name at the beginning. Uh, but thank you. Um, yeah, the, the cycle of just like, okay, I'm gonna do this and then I would kind of, for me, I would like, I would, I'm gonna try that, I would let myself down, I would try and, uh, I would ask God to help me and I'd be like, I would pray, you know, um, and, but I would just, and it was the same thing. And I appreciate your, I appreciate you being so articulate in your call and doing your best to share, uh, as honestly as you could what was going on. Um.

• 48:03Theo Von?

  I'll try to share. You know, I've been struggling, man. At the past like couple of years, I've had, you know, it's been a struggle in, in certain ways with certain behaviors that I'm just not proud of, right? Or really just behaviors that I didn't want to do anymore.

• 48:23Theo Von?

  And I couldn't change it. I couldn't change the cycle. And even as I say this, I'm afraid that I'll fall back into those behaviors. But I'll tell you what for me has been helpful recently. And I'm sorry if I sound a little animated. I just, uh, I've been like going through this in my own life recently, and it's on the tip of my thoughts and feelings.

• 48:47Theo Von?

  You know, sometimes I, I realize for myself, I would pray to God to, to help me get away from certain behaviors in my life. But at the same time that I was praying, there would be a part of me that knew I was probably going to do those things again. You know? That I was probably going to do those things again.

• 49:07Theo Von?

  Like I bet, God, please help me and I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to have this behavior. But there'll be a little part of me that was like, I know even as I asks, ask for God's help that I'm going to do it again. I would know, I would know that.

• 49:24Theo Von?

  So I started praying like this. I started praying like, God,

• 49:30Theo Von?

  please help me with this. You know? This is a broken part of me that I bring to you. I need help with it. And then I would add to my prayer, I would say, and even, God, even as I pray to you right now, there's a part of me that knows I'm probably lying to you. There's a part of me that knows I'm going to do that behavior again. So can you come into that part of me? And help me there?

• 49:56Theo Von?

  Help me in the part of me that knows as I pray that I am, that I'm lying.

• 50:04Theo Von?

  And I don't know if that sounds crazy or not, but uh

• 50:10Theo Von?

  but I started to think that like a connection between us and a higher power, it's so, it's such the realist, it's like in my life, it's one of the realest things that I've ever witnessed, right? Like you go in, like, I'll be in meetings and, or A, recovery meetings, or

• 50:27Theo Von?

  and you see people's lives change, you see something happen, you see you see miracles, right?

• 50:36Theo Von?

  But that was what was happening, you know, it was

• 50:40Theo Von?

  I couldn't change, I could, I tried everything. I tried everything to change, I would tell myself, I'm gonna do it different, I'm gonna do that, and it wouldn't, it just, I couldn't do it.

• 50:51Theo Von?

  I couldn't do it by myself.

• 50:55Theo Von?

  In my whole life, I'd done everything by myself. I thought, I thought I had.

• 51:05Theo Von?

  And so, something that's just been helping me recently is just praying differently, you know?

• 51:14Theo Von?

  Because whatever's inside of me that's broken is really it's manipulative and it's

• 51:21Theo Von?

  you know, it would be good at pool because it's good at it's good, it's good at the angles. But so, yeah, so I've just been praying that God comes into those parts of me. You know?

• 51:34Theo Von?

  Don't just come into like the water inside of me, come into the, come into the well, come into the walls of the well.

• 51:42Theo Von?

  Come into the, the, the mortar, whatever that's between the bricks, that, cuz I'm, cuz I'm broken.

• 51:52Theo Von?

  Cuz, cuz I'm broken all the way there.

• 51:58Theo Von?

  You know, and I don't mean that like in self pity, I don't need, I don't

• 52:04Theo Von?

  but if there's a part of me that doesn't even want the best for me, then that, there's something inside of me that is off.

• 52:16Theo Von?

  So that's something that's been helping me. Because some of it's been coming true. And um, I don't know if it's been coming true, I don't know if that's a term, but

• 52:26Theo Von?

  I don't know, I'm starting to just feel something different.

• 52:31Theo Von?

  And then I was also, I was, I was looking on this Bible. And there's a story called John 5, and it's about a guy who's at these pools. And some people follow the Bible, some people don't, that's fine. This is just a story. That I'm reciting here.

• 52:48Theo Von?

  And, and Jesus is, is at the, is at the pools and it's in Bethesda and they're like, there's a sick man there and he's been sick for a long time. And um, and Jesus, and Jesus asks him, "Do you want to be healed?" He asks him, "Do you want to be healed?"

• 53:08Theo Von?

  And that's a crazy question because

• 53:13Theo Von?

  you know, if I get healed, then I'm different. You know, if, if somebody gets healed, they have a new story.

• 53:35Theo Von?

  So that's just been something that I've been having to ask myself. It's like, do I want to be healed?

• 53:41Theo Von?

  Do I really want something different?

• 53:47Theo Von?

  And sometimes a lot of the answer is no, I don't. I want something different, but I don't wanna. I don't know, if I'm scared of it, I don't know what I am.

• 53:59Theo Von?

  I don't know if I don't wanna do what it takes to get, I can't even tell what it is.

• 54:04Theo Von?

  And uh.

• 54:15Theo Von?

  It's hard for me, some of this stuff's a little bit hard for me to say, I think, I don't even know why. But I think I want a new story.

• 54:26Theo Von?

  You know, my story in my life, and I'm sorry to make this about me kinda, but I'm just trying to share like,

• 54:34Theo Von?

  you know, when I was growing up, like, my mom, something was wrong with her, I love my mother.

• 54:41Theo Von?

  You know, but she didn't connect with me, she didn't like, look at me, and uh, and she didn't,

• 54:51Theo Von?

  you know, she wouldn't hold me that much, and she didn't look, she wouldn't look me in the eyes, right? And uh,

• 54:59Theo Von?

  and so as a kid, I felt like, I felt like something was wrong with me, you know, I felt like, oh if,

• 55:07Theo Von?

  if the person that created me won't even look at me, then something must be so wrong with me.

• 55:17Theo Von?

  You know, and I've worked through a lot of this stuff, and so I'm kinda going down this lane. But it just gave me,

• 55:26Theo Von?

  it gave me like, a lot of, a lot of low self-worth.

• 55:30Theo Von?

  You know, it just gave me low self-worth. And honestly, it made it tougher for me to even have a self, because the only person that, I only knew who I was if you reacted to me well, right? Like, I became just a people pleaser, because I didn't have any feelings of self-worth, so the only way I could get my worth was from you, right, from somebody else. And it made sense, because I didn't have a me, you know, I didn't have a big sense of self, and so, I got myself from who you thought I was. And I needed everybody to like me. I, I needed everybody to like me, because I didn't know if, I didn't know if, I didn't know if there was a one person that didn't like me, if one of the, the, the plate stopped spinning, if it was all gonna fall down.

• 56:15Theo Von?

  So anyway, sorry, I'm kind of rambling, but

• 56:22Theo Von?

  but the thing that also happened was that whole, all of that energy, that negative energy, that uncertainty, that became my story, right? And it gave me like a chip on my shoulder where it was like, you know, I'm gonna show them, I'll show these mother, you know, I'll do this and I'll, you know, it gave me all of that, it gave me all of that energy. Like I'll prove to them, I'll prove to somebody

• 56:48Theo Von?

  that I'm, that I'm worth something, I'm gonna make.

• 56:56Theo Von?

  Yeah, I just want to look in somebody's eyes and have them be pleased with me. That's what I, that's what I wanted.

• 57:05Theo Von?

  That's what I wanted. I think it's all that any kid wants, I wanted to just look in somebody's eyes and have them be pleased with me. And, um, and all that gave me a chip on my shoulder, you know, and so anyway, so it gave me all this energy, it was like, you know, I'm gonna figure this out, I'll do it myself, I'll figure, you know? And all that stuff served me well until,

• 57:26Theo Von?

  I think just until now, it's like,

• 57:33Theo Von?

  I don't know, I'm just tired of living that story, man, I'm tired of that story.

• 57:42Theo Von?

  You know, I'm tired of that story, I just don't want that story anymore.

• 57:48Theo Von?

  You know, it's been a good story and it's served me well. Dang homie, I'm, I'm leaking.

• 57:56Theo Von?

  It's been a good story and it's served me well, but I don't want that story anymore. You know, I want something different.

• 58:04Theo Von?

  Because the more I just tell that story, it's just like,

• 58:10Theo Von?

  you know, I stay in that world, I stay in that cycle. For me, and I think, um, yes, I want to have, I think, and it's scary to say that I want to have a new story because I'm so used to like, how those other feelings work, I know who to be angry at, I know how to operate here and I know how to operate there and I know who to not give love to, and I'm,

• 58:32Theo Von?

  you know?

• 58:39Theo Von?

  I know how to make like love like very conditional. I know how to like do all these. I know how to navigate to get this fucked up vehicle down the street.

• 58:50Theo Von?

  You know?

• 58:53Theo Von?

  But I think I want a new story, dude, and it's crazy for me to even say that.

• 58:58Theo Von?

  But yeah, I think I want a new story. And uh.

• 59:06Theo Von?

  And so that's one thing that I'm asking God for. Yeah, I'm asking God for a new story, right? I'm asking God for the next part of my, of me.

• 59:18Theo Von?

  You know, and being okay with saying I'm not, you know? Like these days, you know, my mother and I have a great relationship and we, and I, I love my mother this.

• 59:29Theo Von?

  There's nothing I want more

• 59:32Theo Von?

  than my mother to be happy, you know?

• 59:36Theo Von?

  And it's funny because as she gets older, she kind of turns into a little bit more like a child sometimes and uh.

• 59:45Theo Von?

  And you kind, like the roles kind of like.

• 59:49Theo Von?

  They, I guess they switch a little bit and you get to be.

• 59:54Theo Von?

  You get to try to be

• 59:58Theo Von?

  what you needed in a way, and it's pretty cool. And that's a gift. That's a gift from God, I think.

• 1:00:06Theo Von?

  And so, yeah, I want to be able to. I just want to be able to, uh. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm telling you, dude. Jesus Christ, is this, uh, this guy's got, this guy's gotta be like, God, why'd I call this idiot?

• 1:00:26Theo Von?

  Yeah. So I think, anyway, that's what's been helping me like. And I never thought I would be saying some of this stuff, but I'm glad that I am because I just, I'm ready for a new story.

• 1:00:37Theo Von?

  I'm ready for a new story. And I'm ready for like.

• 1:00:43Theo Von?

  Yeah, and the scary part is, I don't, I like, is who will I be if I let go of these things that I've always done and known, some of these behaviors? If I even can let go of some of them? And, and I know I'm not gonna get anything right or whatever, and there's no like, it's just like, ah.

• 1:01:01Theo Von?

  I don't know, man. I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm kinda tired.

• 1:01:09Theo Von?

  What, what can I, what can I suggest, do you think, Trevin, or offer some thought? Do you have any thought about any of this?

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  I think it's, it's really hard, and I think praying is a great first step if you don't know where to go or how to break a cycle.

• 1:01:24Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, that, that, that's it. I just like, yeah, I just start, like, that's, that's something that's helped me is I just started praying, but I started praying like, like, as honestly as I could.

• 1:01:39Theo Von?

  And even honest past that. Like, God, you know, uh, these behaviors, I don't like of mine, will you help me? Even though I know that I might do them again, even though I know I want to do them again, will you come into the parts of me that want to do these behaviors again and help me there?

• 1:01:58Theo Von?

  Will you come, just, will you come, you know? Will you come all the way to the?

• 1:02:05Theo Von?

  I mean, will you come to the? Like, past the roots?

• 1:02:19Theo Von?

  And yeah, and it's just like, I don't know, and it's crazy to think that I, I could like, I could have an, like, I don't know.

• 1:02:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, I don't know, a lot of it's scary to me, and some of this isn't making sense, and I'm sorry, man, I think I'm just getting kinda burnt out, it's been a...

• 1:02:42Theo Von?

  It's been a, I don't know what it's been. But I just, I'm glad that you care about what's going on. And yeah, to get out of the cycle, man, it's hard. And to show up for myself, other things that I've been doing is I've been getting up early. I've been doing some yoga. I've been doing a workout at home. Um, I went and played basketball the other day with some friends. I hadn't done that in years, man. And you know what? I felt good. I left out of there. I went to an AA meeting and I started, like, just like, I'm not bragging, I'm just saying, I started getting active. You know? And I started coming to my own rescue. A little bit. But I started just showing up for myself. And if I told somebody I'm gonna do something, then I came and did it.

• 1:03:27Theo Von?

  And I haven't, I've never done that a lot in my life, but for the past few weeks, I've been doing it. And when, when I say something and then I do it, there's a part of me that hears that, right? And there's a part of me that starts to have like a, okay, this guy is, he's somebody who says he's gonna do something and he, and he does it. And so that, then, part of me starts to build up that it's like I'm, it's like I'm building somebody new, man. Um, and I'm not trying to challenge you or anything. I'm just telling you kind of what's been working for me. And yeah, I know. Anyway, this shit's all over the place. Plenty of my vape, you know?

• 1:04:10Theo Von?

  I wish the church made vapes, dude. Those things would slap. Is that bad, trapping to say that?

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  They're basi, in like Catholic churches, they got the incense. They're basically, they've been vaping.

• 1:04:23Theo Von?

  Oh dang. Yeah, let me get a little bit, dude, if they fricking had a, you know, I got that frankincense, 3000 puffs, homie, that thing would be popping.

• 1:04:36Theo Von?

  But yeah, I don't know. I've like, I've sat in rooms and been in meetings and done this for like, done that cycle a long time. And right now, something's feeling a little bit different and it's scary for me to even say that because there's a part of me that doesn't want things to be different, but there's a part of me that's growing that wants to have a new story for me. And I didn't think I could have a new story, you know? I think maybe in my head I did and shit, but in my heart, I didn't think that. And so, yeah. But yeah, thanks for calling, dude. And thanks for thinking of us. And yeah, I don't know the answer to how to get out of the cycle. I don't know. And if I ever get

• 1:05:14Theo Von?

  all the way out, I promise I'll, I'll share it with you. But yeah, thanks for hitting the hotline. And, uh, and yeah, just thinking out loud and just thanks for being honest, bro. I felt like your call was really honest. Like, this is what's going on. And I'm tired of it. And what can I do? And I wish I had the answers for you. You know, I wish I had the answers for you, but that's all I got. Uh, all right, let's hear this call.

• 1:05:50Speaker 06

  Hi, Theo. This is Quinn. A big fan of the show. I just wanted to share a Bible verse with you.

• 1:05:58Speaker 06

  Ecclesiastes 3:11. It's brought me a lot of comfort because the way things are lately, it's been pretty weird, pretty scary.

• 1:06:08Theo Von?

  A, A, amen, bro. It's weirder than that. Onward.

• 1:06:13Speaker 06

  And I know that people who care deeply can, can kind of be affected by that fear deeply. So, anyway, the Bible verse is this. He has made everything beautiful in his time, and he's put eternity into the human heart, and no man can know his plan from beginning to end. That's pretty close. Funny, I got nervous for a voicemail. But anyway, everything is beautiful in God's time. Even if that's a reality we don't live in right now, it will be a reality because God promises us that he'll make it beautiful. And I know you've got eternity in your heart. You've got that eternity mindset, and you spread a lot of light. So.

• 1:06:57Speaker 06

  I know, things are weird, but uh, it's all gonna be good. So anyhow, I feel silly leaving this, but I hope you have a great day and um, thanks for what you do. Bye.

• 1:07:12Theo Von?

  Type shit, King. Uh, that, it almost like, that was like, that, like, what if that was like the kid me calling back and telling me this? And, yeah, we have to just do our best, you know, and pray, I'm praying that God like, helps me be a warrior.

• 1:07:31Theo Von?

  You know, I'm praying that God helps me be a warrior.

• 1:07:35Theo Von?

  You know, because we might need, we might need people that are, that are, that can be warriors. Now, I don't, I'm not gonna be like one of the front warriors, dude, I will be a warrior in the back, you heard me, bro? I'll be a warrior in the back eating chips and talking shit, boy!

• 1:07:51Theo Von?

  But still, bro, you still, you still qualified, you get that warrior payment, you still get that, that warrior check, that W check, bro. So I'll get that shit. Um, but yeah, uh, thank you guys for being a part of the episode. You guys be good to yourselves, uh, you deserve it. And um, yeah, just thanks for giving me a place where I can come and share about things and that we can come and we can share about things. And uh, yeah, that's all I got. Trevin, anything you wanna say?

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Not much from me, it was a great one and uh, yeah, check out the movie if you guys can, busboysmovie.com.

• 1:08:27Theo Von?

  Thanks Trevin. And yeah, and I was singing this, spring, that's the thing, man, you know, like a spring is a time for a new story. You know, so, and I don't even know if I can stick with this, some of these behaviors that are making me feel different, I don't know, even know if I can. So I'm scared to even really talk about it, to be honest with you.

• 1:08:48Theo Von?

  But I don't know, so many times I've been in spaces and I've been afraid to say that, I feel like there's a possibility for something new for me. I've been afraid to really say that, and then I end up in the same spot. So I think I'm at least just trying something different today. And if that's, you know, if at the very least that's all that is, then um, then I'm trying something different, trying something new. Um, you guys be good to yourselves, baby, you deserve it, praise God, baby. Hom upstairs!

• 1:09:42Speaker 07

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