Bonus #191 - Enter the Cheeks Zone Vol. 3 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Stavvy Baby Enterprises spiritual advisor and consigliere Mr. Cheeks endures excruciating pain to bring himself down to Stav's frequency and shepherd him through a metaphysical realm to discuss animals, the mysteries of the human body, and whether Stav's powers are beginning to become formidable in the Cheeks Zone. Cheeks and Stav help callers including a man who is afraid to switch barbers in his barbershop lest he start drama, and a man who's in a forbidden love affair with a superior officer in the military. ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Gavie, esteemed guests, um, I guess I'm probably you probably not heard before. Um, so I, uh, recently fell in love with, uh,

• 0:14Speaker 00

  with an officer in the military. I'm also in the military, but

• 0:19Stavros Halkias?

  With an officer in the military.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  enlisted man. Um, and basically it's, it's very, very frowned upon what, uh, we have been doing.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  Really, really like each other.

• 0:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's cute.

• 0:38Speaker 02

  We're definitely

• 0:38Speaker 00

  She's been in for like thirteen years and I've been in for like a year. So I'm not trying to ruin her career. Neither is she.

• 0:47Stavros Halkias?

  Going on here?

• 0:48Speaker 00

  But

• 0:49Stavros Halkias?

  What's the setup here?

• 0:50Speaker 00

  The, it's just so hard to not be in love with this woman and, uh, to just be like, okay, well, just even though we've made this incredible connection and like FaceTime each other all the time, we call each other at a time, but like we can't be together in like public and she can't, you know, publicly be with me either. So like, it's just like,

• 1:18Speaker 00

  and she, and she doesn't want to because she had to do that before, but she's still

• 1:21Stavros Halkias?

  She had to do it before.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  It's like calling me and shit, but like telling me you can't do this. And it's like, it's just driving me up a fucking wall. I don't know what to do. And, um, you know, it's both for careers on the line. Honestly, much of hers and mine, but like,

• 1:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're disposable completely.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to ask is like, how do I fucking navigate this? Cause it's, it's literally destroying my heart.

• 1:45Stavros Halkias?

  Poor kid. Jesus Christ. He's in the

• 1:47Speaker 00

  Okay. Yeah. Enough of the issue. Uh, but

• 1:51Stavros Halkias?

  And now he's just a little piece of cock for this older woman.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  We need people to say their age, sex, location at the beginning of all their careers.

• 1:57Stavros Halkias?

  At least age and sex.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  And exact location.

• 2:00Stavros Halkias?

  Age, sex, give us, give us a pronoun. We're not trying to misgender.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Um, no, I, I, this is like, this, there's a reason that, that there's like movies and movies and movies that are just based on this plot because it's like impossible to do anything.

• 2:14Stavros Halkias?

  Now, listen, I, a couple of things he said. Uh, you want to talk about the psychic plane?

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  The cold reads, a couple of things he said perked me up.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  Go, oh, I like that. Go, go, go.

• 2:28Stavros Halkias?

  The age gap, right? Huge. Number one, he's one year in. Not, not really just

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Oh, I guess I didn't think about an age gap with that. I just thought she's, she's been in the military longer, but you're right. She's been in for thirteen years. He's been in for one year.

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  He sounds young, right?

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. That, that makes sense.

• 2:43Stavros Halkias?

  And not, and let's, let's even say it's not necessarily an age gap. The experience gap inside of the armed forces. She, she is kind of doing the thing where, where it's like, yeah, obviously a boss isn't allowed to fuck someone because they have this weird, you're not allowed, whatever. If they talk about, as long as those, you're superior or whatever. But like the thing everybody says about, yeah, how can you like, you're like, you're just not, they're never going to be on equal footing. The context of a relationship is never going to be two equals that can grow together, whatever.

• 3:16Stavros Halkias?

  And what really kinda, what really supercharges this theory here is that he said she's had to do it before, right? And so I'm a little worried with our friend here is a fucking simpleton. His life sucks dick. He had to join the military. He's never known true love or happiness. And even if he's gotten pussy, it's from girls his age and, and it's maybe been shallow connections. And now he's with a real like,

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  He's, he's getting turned the fuck out. He's got, he's with, with an older woman with experience who he probably admires on, on a personal level. And also she's probably a fucking freak, right? Cause she's probably getting something out of this. There's the, the forbidden, the like, e- even any kind of like an older woman who fucks a younger guy, respect. You know what I mean? Like, it's like they're, they're like, yeah, fuck it. I'm trying to like, I want, like she's about it, right? Like,

• 4:09Speaker 02

  This is really good. You got so much more out of this.

• 4:12Stavros Halkias?

  So I, now look, I could be completely wrong.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  No, no, but I think that's interesting.

• 4:16Stavros Halkias?

  This is actually a great, this goes back to our earlier conversation, but I don't think I've ever had psychic stuff, but I think I hear certain things and things in my brain go a hundred, you know, this is why I could be a medium.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  You could, you could be

• 4:28Stavros Halkias?

  I could be like, I could be like, did you have a, like, did your moth, do you know your mother? You know, like, like your mother, like, cause this guy, older woman, I'm, I'm willing to bet he's got mommy issues.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:38Stavros Halkias?

  This woman, even not just the older thing, the authority thing and the secrecy for her. So for him, he doesn't know that this might be a combination of A, just a hot woman he admires, A, just a hot woman wants to fuck him, right? Who's probably good at fucking, has experience, whatever, whatever. He, I'm willing to bet that's, that's the easiest read. I'm willing to bet this also is, uh, is awakening some psychological shit in him with an older woman, a woman with experience, whatever. And then I would bet this is a thing she, I bet this woman gets some kind of thrill out of this. And I'm, I'm worried for him. I am actually worried because he is, this is just, this is a gender flipped version of,

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  you know, fu- fucking your secretary and like, or somebody you can just make disappear and like not treating them like an equal and sort of see, this is like, this woman's behaving like Don Draper right now, basically. And is he, is he gonna marry this woman? Like, you know what I'm saying? So my advice to you is to just, and look, he's lovesick. He's so fucked. You're fucked. I would completely get the fuck out of here right now with this woman. Like I think, I think, cause really your options are you go no contact with the woman or the US army. And as much it's like, you're not getting out of your fucking contract. Like, don't, I don't know how this should, obviously we don't really know the way the military works here, but like,

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Oh, we know.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  There's no way you can, you just started or you can just be like, you know what? I actually want to fuck an officer. Can I get out? And they're like, yeah, dude, of course. Yeah, no big deal. We'll send somebody else over to fucking Iran. Um, so

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Oh, they're like, oh, you don't want to?

• 6:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you don't want to? That's cool.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  You want to go home? All right. We'll call you an Uber.

• 6:20Stavros Halkias?

  You want like a, you want to take of the weekend and think about it?

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a good question. I mean, I am the worst person to ask this question.

• 6:28Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, we all are as well.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  I did date someone who's much older than me and we had the same job and it did go horribly, but it was a completely different situation.

• 6:34Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but anyway, I could be completely misreading this, but I, you know, but this is what you're called. You called it to my show and this is what you're getting.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  This is what you're fucking getting.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  Any of this, uh, well, our friend, when you listen, is any of this sounding real? Is any of this sounding right? Let me know. Anyway, I would say, yeah, you have to, and then

• 6:56Speaker 02

  It sounds like he's more into it than she is a little bit. I'm, that is something, that is a vibe that I am getting, but I don't know.

• 7:01Stavros Halkias?

  We fell in love or do you say I fell in love with her? Cause that's the thing. This might be, cause I think he said it like

• 7:06Speaker 02

  He's asking us like, what am I supposed to do? And it's like, you talk to her about that.

• 7:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? If you, I'm just wondering if she, she probably has her head on more straight about it.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. She does.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  My guess, like, like within the context that you're describing, I think.

• 7:20Stavros Halkias?

  I think she definitely does.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  That might be the dynamic where he has, like you're saying, he hasn't had this. He's more confused. She's kinda like, it's the way it is, the way it's always been.

• 7:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Which also to me leads to this, and again, this is, we usually, this is a gender, the usual gender flipped dynamic where I do think there, she might even be leading him on a little bit. I, I worry about you bud, that she's just, you think it's more serious than she does and she, you know, and maybe again, maybe we're wrong. Who knows? But I would say

• 7:52Stavros Halkias?

  either she doesn't give that much of a fuck and it's not, it's not a big deal, or this is a psychological thing for her. And maybe she's, maybe you got love bombed. And the first time you even sort of threaten her career in any way, she just, it all shuts off. It all like, and she, maybe she makes your life a fucking living hell. You just don't know. I think this is too potent for you to be dealing with your first year in the fucking, you know, enlisted.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:19Stavros Halkias?

  This is not a good situation for you. I would take a big step back from this because you will learn something one way or the other. You will learn how she feels, right? The way she deals with you being like, you maturely looking at the situation and being like, hey, if you as a, you know, somebody who's 10 years younger than her, be like, look, I really care about you. I really like you. I would love to really have a serious relationship, but it seems like that's impossible. And the longer we do this sneaking around, it, it's either going to lead to disaster for your, your

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's no, there's no answer to get out of it.

• 8:56Stavros Halkias?

  That worst case is, is we're both heartbroken and your career is fucked. The best case is maybe I'm just heartbroken, right?

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:04Stavros Halkias?

  And

• 9:06Stavros Halkias?

  the way she responds to that level of maturity from somebody that she's like, she, if she's like, that's a really good point. We should stop, whatever. And then like, and she's like, okay, fine. And she just doesn't give a fuck at all. Then you learned like, you were a little slam piece. And if you never get her back, but then if she does go, if she does try and make contact later, it's very important to see how she does. Because you could potentially hear by going back to Seinfeld, when he's talking about, I have hand. Remember that concept? Having hand in the relationship is like having control. And if you're the one who preemptively is like, we need to break up,

• 9:48Stavros Halkias?

  you flip the power dynamics in a way where, where now she's like, whoa, he's taking, you know, he's taking this. And if she reacts, if she makes contact, so A, if she doesn't ever hit you up again, just move on. Great. You learned what you need to do. B, if she hits you up in a way that seems mature, right? If she's like, I thought about it. It's been months. I really miss you. I'm gonna, and then she lays out a plan. She's like, we could do this, this and this. You could get out here. I could do the, whatever. I could be transferred. I don't know what, again, we don't know the fucking army. That's a great sign. That means she actually does care about you. But the third, and I would say probably most probable thing here is that

• 10:27Stavros Halkias?

  this does do something for her psychologically. You showing some control and power or whatever, flipping the dynamics. It has the possibility of her being like, of you, even though you're, you would be doing it to be mature. It could feel like to somebody who's getting a psychological thrill out of this, like you're playing hard to get. And that might make her double down. Be like, no, I need you. I must, if, if now not only is it forbidden, but it also kinda goes against your wishes. If it's kinda like this

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Will become more hot, the more you're like,

• 11:01Stavros Halkias?

  The more there's, the more we can, exactly. So if it feels like you've supercharged her fetishization, fetishization of this situation, when she responds to you, that's bad. If she never responds to you, that's actually bad, but you know what happened. In the middle ground of she's like, let's figure this out. That's good in theory, but it also might be bad for both of you. It might be, you might just both be in love and stupid, but that's my

• 11:27Speaker 02

  I'm trying to imagine what the characters on MASH would do, cause that's kinda my reference for the military.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  You ever seen MASH?

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was like in the sixties and seventies.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Trying to imagine like, how would they handle this?

• 11:43Stavros Halkias?

  They had the one guy who tried to, who was a cross dresser to get out of it.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Is that Radar? No, no, no, that's not Radar.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  Radar, I think

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Radar, no, Radar's a little guy.

• 11:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, I think it is Radar.

• 11:54Stavros Halkias?

  Look up who cross dressed at that or at a fucking at

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. Cause he was trying to get, he was trying to get kicked out because they, so they think he was nuts. No, they think he was crazy, I think.

• 12:04Stavros Halkias?

  I think you weren't allowed to be gay back then.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  You definitely weren't allowed to be gay, but I think he, I think it's even more offensive in the sense that he was trying to make them think he was crazy.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  You could do is pretend to be gay or

• 12:13Speaker 02

  I think, I mean, that's what I think.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger. Klinger, you're right. You're right. You're a better

• 12:20Speaker 02

  I'm telling you, that's why I might be the one to answer this question.

• 12:22Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Okay. So go ahead.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  So maybe create some sort of hijinks.

• 12:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's a great idea. Maybe start, actually, we are now back in a US military that is very transphobic.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  True, true.

• 12:34Stavros Halkias?

  Start cross dressing. They'll kick you out fast. Throw a little fucking lipstick, say you're trans. Next thing you know, you're fucking your girlfriend. Now you're, now you're Mr. Corporal, whatever the fuck, you know, or captain, whatever the fuck you said.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  Get a job working at fast food and then see how, if she still finds you attractive, which she probably won't.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Great, great point.