Trail Tales 99: Bike Heists, Scubavangelists & Camping Gone Wong

Today’s stories include scubavangelists, cave proposals, bike heists, and camping gone wrong. Outsiders Only bonus stories available for Patreon and Apple Subscribers! COME SEE US ON TOUR! For the latest NPAD updates, group travel details, merch and more, follow us on npadpodcast.com and our socials: Instagram: @‌nationalparkafterdarkTikTok: @‌nationalparkafterdark Support the show by becoming an Outsider and receive ad free listening, bonus content and more on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. Want to see our faces? Catch full episodes on our YouTube Page! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Danielle LaRock?

  You know that thing where you get an amazing pair of shoes at a really great price and want to tell everyone about it? Yeah, so do we. Here at Designer Shoe Warehouse, we'll give you something to brag about, like the latest styles from brands you love, or the trends everyone's obsessing over, or shoes that make you feel like, well, you. So go ahead, show off a little. Find shoes that get you at prices that get your budget. Head to your DSW store or DSW.com today. DSW, let us surprise you.

• 0:31Cassandra Yahnian?

  When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's fall drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.

• 1:18Danielle LaRock?

  Hello, everyone, and welcome back to National Park After Dark. I'm half of that show, and my name's Danielle.

• 1:25Cassandra Yahnian?

  I'm the other half of that show, and I'm Cassie.

• 1:27Danielle LaRock?

  And in case you missed it on Monday, big news.

• 1:31Cassandra Yahnian?

  Huge news.

• 1:32Danielle LaRock?

  The biggest news.

• 1:34Cassandra Yahnian?

  We've ever newsed.

• 1:36Danielle LaRock?

  Oh, or that, yeah. Actually, it's up, it's up there for sure.

• 1:39Cassandra Yahnian?

  It's pretty up there. And it's really exciting because Danielle and I are going on tour. We are coming to a city, maybe near you, depending on where you live.

• 1:50Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, depending on where you are in the country, maybe it's close by. And in case you missed it, it's going to be in October and November of this upcoming year. We have all the dates and all the details and all the links and everything you could ever possibly want to know about this tour, LinkedIn, all of our social pages, and our website and all of that. But just a brief recap.

• 2:12Cassandra Yahnian?

  We're going to Boston, we're going to Seattle, we're going to New York, we're going to Minneapolis, we're going to San Francisco to be warm, maybe. We're going to Chicago. November, it'll be still warm, maybe there.

• 2:27Danielle LaRock?

  San Francisco is the last day of our tour on November 12.

• 2:31Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, not in this order also, by the way.

• 2:34Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah.

• 2:34Cassandra Yahnian?

  We're bobbing everywhere, but.

• 2:36Danielle LaRock?

  This is a riddle.

• 2:37Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 2:38Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, wait, so you're missing, I know you were just about to say Chicago, but you're missing one other one.

• 2:45Cassandra Yahnian?

  And we're going to the one, the only, Wisconsin. We're going to Milwaukee.

• 2:53Danielle LaRock?

  That's right.

• 2:54Cassandra Yahnian?

  So I can officially go. I mean, we officially crossed the border, but I feel like this will be my official time spent. I didn't even eat cheese my first time in Wisconsin.

• 3:04Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, and we, it's not for lack of trying. I don't know what was going on. I think it must have been where we entered the state of Wisconsin. It was kind of in an industrial area. There was no cheese for miles around.

• 3:18Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, maybe we'll eat cheese onstage in Wisconsin, but you'll only know if you come to our Milwaukee show.

• 3:24Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, that's right. There you go. So if you want to see.

• 3:27Cassandra Yahnian?

  Is this the best advertisement we've ever done?

• 3:30Danielle LaRock?

  We're like, we really need to hype this up. I hope we can do it. So, anywho, it's going to be a really fun, exciting tour, and we don't want to give too much away. But if you've been to any of our live shows in the past, we've done a few, a handful over the years, but they've followed kind of like a live podcast episode taping format. And this is going to be a little bit different.

• 3:58Cassandra Yahnian?

  It's a surprise.

• 4:00Danielle LaRock?

  So without divulging anymore, you just have to come and experience it to understand it. So, hope to see you in one of those places that Cassie just listed.

• 4:11Cassandra Yahnian?

  Or all, or all of them.

• 4:13Danielle LaRock?

  That would be a feat. I don't know if I would like, I mean, I would like it, but if I saw you on every single tour stop.

• 4:21Cassandra Yahnian?

  I'd hide you every single time.

• 4:23Danielle LaRock?

  I'd be like, are you sure you don't have anything else that you? Every tour, every stop is going to be different, though.

• 4:30Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 4:30Danielle LaRock?

  In ways, so do it. I don't know, I take it back. I was going to say that would have weirded me out, but I condone it, actually.

• 4:40Cassandra Yahnian?

  It was a process to get through, but we got there.

• 4:42Danielle LaRock?

  Yes. Okay, so now let's get to some stories.

• 4:45Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, because that's why we're here.

• 4:49Danielle LaRock?

  Okay, I'm holding my iPad, so I will go first.

• 4:51Cassandra Yahnian?

  Oh, yeah, I forgot about that part, so you can.

• 4:54Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, you were just looking at me, so.

• 4:57Cassandra Yahnian?

  I'm just ready, I'm just here. I'm vibing.

• 4:59Danielle LaRock?

  She's vibing.

• 5:00Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 5:01Danielle LaRock?

  Well, the first thing I have to say is actually a callback to one of the conversations that we had in a previous Trail Tale episode back in episode 93, Trail Tales 93. We, I don't exactly know how it came up, but we went on a little bit of a side tangent about photo labs and if those, A, still exist, and B, if people work in them and see weird things, and if they do see weird things, what happens? We just had questions, and we've received a few different answers. And I wanted to just call attention to one in particular, because I think it's actually really important to know. I know we were joking about it, but this is a little bit more serious, and I feel

• 5:46Danielle LaRock?

  like we should draw attention to it. So this is not my first official story, it's just a little bit of a PSA.

• 5:54Cassandra Yahnian?

  Okay, I'm serious.

• 5:56Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, get serious.

• 5:58Cassandra Yahnian?

  Right.

• 5:58Danielle LaRock?

  It begins PSA from Trail Tales 93. Hi, Cassie and Danielle. I work for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in the Exploitation Division, and I cannot tell you how many reports we still receive from photo developers and people submitting CSAM, child sexual abuse material, to be developed. The amounts of report we receive about this has definitely decreased over the years, but we still get them. The audacity or stupidity that it takes for someone to have CSAM developed is absolutely insane. But yes, in the year of our Lord and Savior, Dolly Parton, 2026, people are still using photo developers to develop such material.

• 6:40Danielle LaRock?

  In addition to still using floppy disks, we have also heard stories about gore and sexual photos being processed as well. So shout out to CBS, Walgreens, et cetera, photo developers, the unexpected frontlines heroes. Shameless plug for any reports about child sexual abuse, on or offline, please let us know at 1-800-the-lost or at missingkids.org. Thank you for all you do and for keeping our team entertained during long days at work. Love, E.

• 7:11Cassandra Yahnian?

  The Lord and Savior's work, honestly, people who are in this, in that field, incredible. I mean, what you see is horrible and awful that we even have to have these conversations. But wow, that's, I can't, when they mentioned floppy disks also.

• 7:29Danielle LaRock?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:29Cassandra Yahnian?

  Like, people are using floppy disks? I haven't used a floppy disk since high school, which is maybe a long time ago.

• 7:35Danielle LaRock?

  Middle school.

• 7:36Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 7:37Danielle LaRock?

  Or we had, um, my school was going through something, some weird transition, but we, instead of going from middle school to high school, I think because the town was getting too big, they did this thing called upper middle school. So you went from middle school to upper middle school, which was just seventh and eighth grade, and then we went to high school.

• 7:58Cassandra Yahnian?

  So did you start middle school in sixth grade?

• 8:01Danielle LaRock?

  I don't know.

• 8:03Cassandra Yahnian?

  Because if upper middle school was seventh and eighth grade, what was middle school?

• 8:07Danielle LaRock?

  I don't know.

• 8:08Cassandra Yahnian?

  Because mine was, and I know it's different now, but my school did, elementary school was kindergarten through sixth grade, and then seventh and eighth was middle school, and then ninth through 12th was high school. But I know that they have since moved sixth grade to middle school.

• 8:27Danielle LaRock?

  Oh, interesting. I don't know. I just know that we were the first round of kids to go through this new, the building was brand new, was a brand new thing at the time. So I don't know if they got it figured out, and.

• 8:39Cassandra Yahnian?

  I hope so, it's been a while.

• 8:41Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah. Hopefully you got that ironed out. But anywho, okay, let me go into my first actual story, but thank you, E, for sending that in. I'm actually really excited to tell the story, and I picked it for this specific Trail Tales because you are looking at, or listening to, a newly, freshly scuba-certified gal.

• 9:02Cassandra Yahnian?

  That is true. Congratulations.

• 9:05Danielle LaRock?

  Thank you.

• 9:06Cassandra Yahnian?

  So exciting, especially as someone who hates being underwater. I think it's really scary. Me.

• 9:13Danielle LaRock?

  Oh, yes.

• 9:14Cassandra Yahnian?

  As a person who hates being underwater, I think it's really scary and also really brave to do it. Like, I think I would get claustrophobic and freak the fuck out, but you did it.

• 9:26Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah.

• 9:26Cassandra Yahnian?

  It's exciting.

• 9:28Danielle LaRock?

  I will say, I don't have any experience diving in any other location other than 53 degree water off of New England.

• 9:39Cassandra Yahnian?

  Was it fun? Did you have a nice time?

• 9:41Danielle LaRock?

  I'm sure it's great in other ways, but as I was getting all of the gear on and everything, especially for the open dives for my certification and things like that, I was really excited because I was getting to go into the open ocean. But also, as I was layering up everything, I had a brief flash of thinking of you. I'm like, Cassie wouldn't even make it into the stepping into the water. There was just too many layers of things and apparatuses to handle. And you would have just freaked the fuck out, for sure.

• 10:11Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 10:12Danielle LaRock?

  But anyway, it was really cool to actually get into the water and see, it sounds so obvious, but to see everything that we normally see on shore that comes up dead, to see it alive and thriving and colorful and scurrying around. And it was just a different world. And I'm getting the hype of why people love the ocean so much because I got to experience a completely different part of it. And so I chose this story because it is titled, "The Time Traveling Scuba Evangelist."

• 10:46Cassandra Yahnian?

  Ooh, okay.

• 10:48Danielle LaRock?

  Hello, ladies. Love your podcast and have turned my friends and family into listeners, or so they say. I started listening to the episodes from the very beginning a year or so ago and have finally finished all of the episodes and now have to wait for new ones. I am Richard and I am the Scuba Evangelist. Some Christians are evangelists. I have been scuba diving for nearly 45 years and preach the virtues and benefits of scuba. Thus, I am the Scuba Evangelist. Scuba is really the only way to experience more than 70% of the area of the globe. Whether a coral or rock reef or open ocean, there is nothing like the piece of diving. You can be within arm's reach of another diver, but still experience everything as if you were completely alone.

• 11:34Danielle LaRock?

  I encourage everyone to try it. I have never met anyone who completed a scuba course that did not enjoy diving. To which I say, have you met Cassie yet? Because she might blow your mind. My diving experiences include cenotes in the Yucatan, bull sharks in the Gulf of Mexico, sunken mailplanes in the Caribbean, warships off the coast of San Diego, Channel Islands National Park, and even Blackbeard Ship, Queen Anne's Revenge with a sand tiger. I may submit stories from those dives or my time as a dive master assisting scuba diving classes at a later date. In the interim, here is an odd tale from the beginning of my scuba diving life. I learned how to scuba dive in the fall of 1981 while serving in the Navy in Japan.

• 12:17Danielle LaRock?

  I didn't learn as part of my naval training, but one of my instructors was a Navy SEAL and had an unconventional way of confirming his students were scuba-ready prior to graduating us. I may describe his underwater torture test, which turned out to be very beneficial, in a story another time. I was able to dive Tokyo Bay for about a year before being stationed stateside. My usual dive buddy was a marine chaplain, a very experienced diver with the added benefit of divine protection. Our normal dive spot was a beach not far from my apartment in Yokosuka. We would meet at the parking lot, gear up, and walk carrying our fins to the water's edge. We would then perform our buddy check, put on our fins, and walk backwards into the water before starting our surface swim.

• 13:01Danielle LaRock?

  If you learned how to dive in the last 25 years, you would not recognize this procedure, but this is how it was done before your buoyancy compensator could be filled directly from your tank. This is OG scuba. I love that I understand this. I'm like, oh, got you. I'm picking up what you're putting down, Richard.

• 13:17Danielle LaRock?

  This beach dive required about 100-yard surface swim before descending. After the swim, we would deploy our dive flag and descend the roughly 40 feet to a sandy bottom. Our dive would follow the bottom's gradual descent to about 60 feet, where we would encounter a rock reef abundant with sea life, fish, rays, eels, and on this and other occasions, nurse sharks. As you probably know, nurse sharks are timid and generally harmless. On this day, we witnessed one on the reef giving birth. It would rub against the bottom and live baby sharks would emerge and swim away. Unfortunately, neither of us had cameras, a prohibitively expensive scuba accessory in the spring of 82. This majesty of watching a shark give birth is pretty cool, but is not the point of this story.

• 14:01Danielle LaRock?

  After some exploration, we agreed that it was time to end the dive. It's standard practice to make a three-minute safety stop at 15 feet of depth and at the end of each dive to make sure you off-gas to avoid the bends. The advantage of many beach dives is rather than floating by a mooring line for three minutes at 15 feet, you can slowly follow the gradual ascending bottom until you're able to stand and remove your fins and then walk in. On this day, my buddy and I misjudged the depth, and when we ascended, we had to manually, by blowing, to inflate our buoyancy compensators to stay at the surface. Our heads broke the surface facing away from the beach. We were turning to confirm that there was no boat traffic around.

• 14:44Danielle LaRock?

  We put a few breaths into our BCs, stabilized, and turned to swim back to the beach. However, rather than seeing an empty beach and parking lot, it looked as though we had surfaced in the early 17th century. There was a Samurai army with cavalry on the beach, or rather, two Samurai armies because there was an actual battle going on. You could hear the panting of horses, grunting of men, and clanging of swords 20 yards out into the ocean where we had just surfaced. We turned to look at each other and confirmed that we were both seeing the same thing. I don't know about the chaplain, but I was hearing the theme from The Twilight Zone. This was before The X-Files.

• 15:25Danielle LaRock?

  We didn't dare say anything to avoid drawing attention to ourselves, as some of the cavalry had muskets and we were unlikely to be recognized as humans in our scuba masks and our gear. Had we swum through an interdimensional portal? We each checked our air gauges nowhere near enough for another dive, even assuming we would recognize the portal if we saw it. I had learned a bit about the Japanese and had recently read Shogun. And had the chaplain not been there, I would be willing to believe this was a symptom of gas narcosis. But the fact that we were not 80 feet down and acting drunkenly ruled out that thesis. We were looking for a place to ditch our gear and emerge from the water out of view

• 16:07Danielle LaRock?

  of the battle armies when we saw it and realized what was actually going on. Our beach dive was on one side of a point of land jutting into Tokyo Bay. Apparently, while we were submerged, a slight current, possibly from tidal action, had taken us to the other side of the point. Because the site that brought relief and proved we had not somehow been transported to a feudal Japan were movie cameras and reflector screens. We had surfaced offshore of a movie set. They were filming a movie. About the same time that we saw the equipment, the crew saw us. They were not happy. Most cameras looked to be pointed up at the beach, but there must have been at least one that showed the ocean as a backdrop.

• 16:50Danielle LaRock?

  We swam down the beach, not approaching until we were passing by the cameras. But action was halted and we were greeted by an angry director and production crew. I am not sure it was a good thing that they all spoke English. My Japanese was not very good. And we told them who we were, US military stationed at nearby Yokosuka. Let them think we were the Navy SEALs on a training mission. After a few minutes and several heartfelt "I'm sorries and please forgive me" in Japanese, a tea break was called and a good amount of laughter ensued. They told us about the movie they were making and we told them what we had seen during our dive and answered questions about scuba diving. Considering it would have cost them several thousand dollars to reshoot, I hope they

• 17:33Danielle LaRock?

  were able to edit the footage so time-traveling scuba divers did not appear in their movie. Or maybe they changed the plot to include scuba divers from the future. Who knows? Anyway, ladies, that's a story from early in my scuba life. I hope you enjoyed it. Remember, enjoy the view, but watch your back and for any currents that might lead you to surface in a different century.

• 17:56Cassandra Yahnian?

  Wow, that must have been so trippy to be looking at something from that time period and then to surface and be like, wait a second, what year are we in right now?

• 18:07Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, what just happened to us? And the whole gas narcosis thing is also so legit of being like, are we just going through in a medical event right now and we're both having this shared delusion? I really wish I double-checked the email and he didn't include the movie name.

• 18:25Cassandra Yahnian?

  Maybe he doesn't know it because it sounds like he didn't watch it.

• 18:30Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, oh, yeah, that's true.

• 18:31Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 18:31Danielle LaRock?

  But I just thought that was so funny.

• 18:34Cassandra Yahnian?

  That is so funny.

• 18:36Danielle LaRock?

  Richard, thanks for writing in.

• 18:38Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, thank you. All right. And since we're on a theme of things that I don't enjoy in life, let's read my next story, which is titled, "Cave Proposal."

• 18:51Cassandra Yahnian?

  Let's go to a cave.

• 18:55Cassandra Yahnian?

  I'm just kidding. I actually, the caves I've gone to have been pretty fun. I just don't like being in small confined spaces, which none of the caves I've been to have been like that yet. So I've had good experiences.

• 19:08Cassandra Yahnian?

  Hi Danielle and Cassie. My name is Dani and I hope you lovely ladies are doing well. I've been listening to the podcast since I started my degree in geology at the University of Georgia and around the time I met my now fiance, Tommy. Anytime I'm on the road or doing lab work, I listen to this podcast. Today, I want to tell y'all about the most memorable engagement possible and potentially for all the wrong reasons. Tommy and I refuse to give each other Christmas gifts. Instead, we pile our money into a camping trip every year. We've been to New River Gorge, Mammoth Cave, and most recently, Northeast Alabama. Our road trip to Alabama consisted of many waterfall hikes and the Stevens Gap Callahan Cave Preserve in Jackson County, Alabama.

• 19:52Cassandra Yahnian?

  Some people sleep on the Southeast when it comes to outdoor recreation, but the Southeast US offers some of the most beautiful and intimate outdoor experiences imaginable. You just have to look underground. The Southeast Cave Conservancy manages most of the wild caves in the area, including Stevens Gap Cave, AKA my favorite place on this planet. I knew the cave well, but it was a goal of mine to show it to Tommy. To get to Stevens Gap, you must first go to the Liberty Diner in Scottsboro, Alabama. Sign your name on the wall and then you can go. Kidding, but it's a caving tradition in the area for good luck. That's how Tommy and I's first caving trip of 2026 started.

• 20:33Cassandra Yahnian?

  Afterwards, we drove the 20 minutes out of town to the trailhead of the one mile trail to the entrance of the cave. Stevens Gap is a smallish cave with two entrances. One entrance is a rock scramble, while the other option is a 140 foot sinkhole. I don't do heights, let alone waterfalls that drop 140 feet into earth. So we took the other entrance. I left my favorite jacket and our snacks at the entrance of the cave and we took in only the essentials. For a couple hours, we experienced all the beautiful hidden pockets of the cave has to offer. We see enclosed waterfalls, remnants of ancient dunes, cave crickets, salamanders, and millions of fossils. And I filmed a couple of reels for the UGA Geology Instagram.

• 21:18Cassandra Yahnian?

  Eventually, we decided to start heading out, but before we left, Tommy asked me to set up my phone for a photo. I knew right then and he knew I knew from the grin on my face. We turn around to admire the waterfalls dropping into the sinkhole and he starts stalling, kissing me and talking about the most random things possible to playfully watch my agony. Then he leans down to look at a rock. I think, alright, this is what we are doing now, looking at rocks. So I squat into my feral, what is this rock pose? Lo and behold, the rock is a geode and when he opened it, there was my ring. Immediate tears, borderline sobbing. "Will you marry me?" Tommy asked.

• 22:03Cassandra Yahnian?

  And you would think I would say, yes, of course, I love you so much. But my cave delirium brain said, "Are you sure?"

• 22:12Danielle LaRock?

  Didn't you say that?

• 22:13Cassandra Yahnian?

  I said that to Al too. It's like, are you sure? And he's like, yeah.

• 22:19Cassandra Yahnian?

  I wish someone else had witnessed his face. Yes, he was sure and so was I. I said, of course I'll marry you. And we celebrated all alone in that cave. Well, at least we thought we were alone. Shortly after, we hear a single sharp whistle coming from the entrance of the sinkhole. Weird, but we started heading up to see if maybe someone needed help. When we reached the top of the cave, three young guys started cheering, not because they knew we got engaged, but because they thought we were dead. Their friends were going to spend the evening rappelling, but they saw my things at the entrance of the cave. Immediately, they started thinking their fun trip had turned into a recovery or rescue mission.

• 23:01Cassandra Yahnian?

  We laughed it off and offered the guys some snacks before hiking back to our car. The story should end here, but it doesn't. The next day, I didn't have my favorite jacket. Shit, I knew exactly where it was. It was sitting outside the cave. We were going to the NASA Space Museum and decided to stop and check for it on the way. It was pouring down rain. I hoped that the three guys we saw the day before had left my jacket in the lost and found at the trailhead. We get to the trailhead, no jacket. Oh, well, maybe they left it in the cave thinking we would come back for it. It is practically flooding at the point, but I will not leave this jacket behind. So we devise a plan. I would hike to the cave to see if my jacket was there.

• 23:46Cassandra Yahnian?

  Tommy would stay at the parking lot just in case someone asks why we're there with an expired permit. After an hour, he'll come after me in case something happens to me. Great, plan set. That was the best hike of my life. Filled with adrenaline from so close, newly engaged and crossing streams that weren't there yesterday, I felt so alive. But when I got to the cave, my jacket was gone. I finally had to admit that the guys who were there ready to rescue us took my beloved jacket. Instant deflation. That jacket had been with me for so many adventures and it would not be coming with me into my new chapter. After about 50 minutes of leaving Tommy, the parking lot started to come into view.

• 24:29Cassandra Yahnian?

  I heard heavy footsteps bounding towards me and I looked over to Tommy, dressed in nothing but underwear and a trash bag, holding a rope in one hand and a first aid kit in the other. He was soaked and slipping in the mud that was starting to run off the hill. I couldn't help but laugh. "That's my man," I thought proudly. Both of us breathing hard, I yelled through the rain, "I thought I was making great time." And he yelled back, "I couldn't wait any longer, wondering if something bad had happened to you." I started to tear up, not because of my jacket, but because I never thought I would love a person this deeply. We wanted to get to NASA's Space Center when they opened, but instead, we got there two hours

• 25:09Cassandra Yahnian?

  before they closed, mostly from running in the rain and Tommy trying to buy me dry clothes. I wouldn't have had that trip any other way. So enjoy the cave, but watch your back. You never know what exceptional memory you'll make from someone stealing your favorite jacket. Best, Dani and Tommy.

• 25:28Danielle LaRock?

  Congrats Dani and Tommy.

• 25:30Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, that's really cute. Especially because you like caves.

• 25:35Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, what I was gonna ask, what your reaction would have been if Al proposed to you in a cave?

• 25:41Cassandra Yahnian?

  I mean, I would have said yes wherever he proposed to me. I would have been like weird, but okay, we've literally never visited a cave together, except for once on a group trip. But, okay. But I do like the being alone part, you know, I think it's really cute that they were alone. It was very intimate, quiet setting. They were obviously in a place that she loved, which is so important and sweet. For me, I was just really like, oh, yeah, yeah, are you sure? Why are we here? I thought you were murdering me.

• 26:15Danielle LaRock?

  I have a question for you, actually. Why are you doing this in a cave? But, yes.

• 26:22Danielle LaRock?

  I agree with the private proposal thing. I think people who want very public displays of proposals are just, like whatever you want to do, it's fine. But for me personally, I would absolutely hate that.

• 26:41Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 26:41Danielle LaRock?

  I don't want anyone around. I don't want a crowd. I don't want witnesses, because what if I say no? I'm just saving you embarrassment.

• 26:52Danielle LaRock?

  There's a chance I'm gonna say no.

• 26:53Cassandra Yahnian?

  There is a chance, so.

• 26:55Danielle LaRock?

  Might as well take the L in private, you know?

• 26:58Cassandra Yahnian?

  It's like, she's doing you a favor, actually.

• 27:01Danielle LaRock?

  That's right. Has nothing to do with me.

• 27:08Danielle LaRock?

  When I first got my banking cards as a young adult, I wish more than anything I could customize them, maybe plaster my favorite things on them, like my dog's faces or the Titanic. And even though I can't put the Titanic on my Cash App card, they do something arguably better. Cash App does more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money. Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App Green. Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with the Cash App card, you earn green status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage. If you overdraft unexpectedly, there are no hidden fees. You also unlock higher borrow limits and custom personalized cash back offers every Friday at places you love to shop.

• 27:52Danielle LaRock?

  Turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit cash.app to learn more about this and other financial benefits. New Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use Cash App 10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Visit our link in bio. I used to think my home was safe with a video doorbell camera, but then, when I thought about it more, those are great for monitoring and recording, but that's kind of where it ends. They can watch a break in, but not stop one. With SimpliSafe, their cameras detect threats like wandering intruders and alert a live US-based agent who will intervene. Of course, I love my home and the things in it, but what really matters is my boys.

• 28:37Danielle LaRock?

  And I want to make sure that they are always safe. It's so important to me that when I'm not home and they are, that if something was to go awry, they would have backup if I couldn't be there. I used to get sick to my stomach thinking about something happening to them when I was away, but SimpliSafe genuinely gives me such peace of mind. Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break in is already underway, SimpliSafe is built to stop it before it starts by utilizing cameras to watch for potential threats and alert those security specialists who will intervene in under 30 seconds. Speaking through the camera to stop an intruder mid-stride while also calling 911. Join the more than 6 million people who entrust SimpliSafe with their home security. Right now, save 60% off with professional monitoring when you visit simplisafe.com/NPAD.

• 29:22Danielle LaRock?

  That's simplisafe.com/NPAD. And when you order, please write National Park After Dark in the checkout survey. It lets them know that we sent you and it really helps support the show. SimpliSafe, ahead of crime in real time.

• 29:39Danielle LaRock?

  Okay, so my next story is titled, "Mag, You're It." I know how much you like freaky stories, as do I. I met my wife, Mary Angie, in college. She went by Mags, and we were active hikers and skiers. After graduating, we decided to hike Camino de Santiago, also known as the Way of St. James in Spain. We took the Via de la Plata Trail, which is about 700 miles and would take us about 10 to 12 weeks. We had talked about marriage, but never too seriously, but something about the pilgrimage made it feel right to propose. I knew the Cathedral of Salomonica would be coming up in a day or two, so when I entered a little village, I found a shop with rings.

• 30:22Danielle LaRock?

  Unfortunately, back in the eighties, credit cards and ATMs weren't popular in Spain. The shop didn't take travelers' checks, old school, and I had very little Spanish money, as Mags carried most of the cash, and I wasn't going to let on what I was doing. I was able to barter the Rolex I had just received from my dad for graduation. This is commitment.

• 30:43Cassandra Yahnian?

  That is commitment. A Rolex is a crazy gift also.

• 30:49Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah. There are all Rolexes expensive? Is it one of those brands that everything is like?

• 30:55Cassandra Yahnian?

  I think so.

• 30:56Danielle LaRock?

  Sheesh. Yeah, I think so too.

• 30:58Cassandra Yahnian?

  I've never been able to

• 31:00Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah.

• 31:01Cassandra Yahnian?

  get one Rolex.

• 31:04Danielle LaRock?

  I've, I wish, but I've never been able to get a Rolex. No one's ever given me one. You would never wear a watch.

• 31:12Cassandra Yahnian?

  No one's ever bought me a Rolex, but our P O box is listed on our Instagram if anyone's interested. The first one that comes up is $110,000, but the second one that comes up is 325.

• 31:28Danielle LaRock?

  Okay, so not all Rolex is ours.

• 31:30Cassandra Yahnian?

  Just for clarification, I want the $110,000 one for people wanting to ship one to my, to our P O box.

• 31:37Danielle LaRock?

  Okay, jot that down. Got it. Anyway. Back on track here. I called her dad and asked his permission, but he was pissed as it, it was about 2:00 AM his time. Nonetheless, he gave me his blessing. I proposed, she said yes, and two days later, on a Wednesday afternoon, we made a donation to the cathedral and found two people on the trail to be witnesses, and we were married.

• 32:01Cassandra Yahnian?

  Aww.

• 32:02Danielle LaRock?

  Mags and

• 32:02Cassandra Yahnian?

  I love that.

• 32:03Danielle LaRock?

  Spur of the moment, it kind of just shows like, I love you so much. Let's just do this. Like, this feels right. You know? Mags and I were best friends and literally worked with each other and around each other 24/7, and we never got bored. Even years later, we would have people ask if we were dating or newlyweds. Life progressed and we had two children. As they grew, they had a game called Mag, You're It, as opposed to Tag, You're It. It was our family thing. Kids grew up and went to college and started their own lives. We were very fortunate because we were able to retire at 51. I can hear both of you saying, "How the hell can you do that?"

• 32:45Danielle LaRock?

  Long story short, we had a small business we started when we were 22, and it grew to be very large. A corporation came and bought us out. Congratulations.

• 32:54Cassandra Yahnian?

  Congrats. That's my goal too. Actually, I'm going for 45.

• 33:00Danielle LaRock?

  Which means I have to go for, we're a package deal. You can't just be like, "Yeah, that's my plan. I don't know what the hell you're doing."

• 33:07Cassandra Yahnian?

  You guys got us for 10 more years and then we're retiring.

• 33:13Danielle LaRock?

  Dream big. Long before camper vans were a thing, we bought a camper and would travel three to four weeks at a time going to national parks, skiing, and mountain biking. We always stayed active. We were hiking in Acadia National Park one day, and Mags slid on a wet rock, got her foot wedged, and broke it pretty badly. The emergency room put a cast on it and said she would require surgery. She wanted to get home to Connecticut and get the surgery done there. I drove all night and made an appointment the next day. One week later, she went in for a very routine, hour-long surgery, and we expected to leave the hospital in a few short hours. Sitting there reading, the doctor came out and the look on her face immediately told me something was wrong.

• 33:58Danielle LaRock?

  She told me that Mags had died in surgery, and I couldn't process it. My best friend had just died. I was absolutely devastated. After a couple of years of grief counseling, I started to get back to life. Mags had always wanted her ashes spread on the Camino de Santiago, and I was ready to do that. I got permission from the Spanish government and off I went, a 55-year-old guy who was going to hike 700 miles. Even though I was in shape, it was grueling. I preferred being in a tent by myself, which is illegal on the trail, so I would pay farmers 50 euros or so to camp on their land. About eight to nine weeks in, I just couldn't go any further. My depression had returned, and I was overall in a bad spot.

• 34:43Danielle LaRock?

  I sat in my tent and said out loud, "Mags, give me a sign. I really need you right now. I can't do this alone." The very next day, after hiking for four hours, there was a couple I met in a little village. I was waiting to fill my canteen, and the girl turned to me and said, "Mags, you're it." I said, "What did you just say?" And her friend replied, saying, "She only speaks French." I asked the friend if she heard what she said, and the girl said, "Yes, but I have no idea what Mag's "you're it" means." I broke down as I had just received my sign. That night, I spread her ashes and finished the pilgrimage a few weeks later.

• 35:24Danielle LaRock?

  For the record, the French couple would not have heard me as they had stayed overnight in the village. I still get chills thinking and talking about this. Thank you for letting me tell my story. Regards, Mike.

• 35:37Cassandra Yahnian?

  Chills.

• 35:38Danielle LaRock?

  You can't get more spot on than that.

• 35:40Cassandra Yahnian?

  No, she was like, "You want a sign? I have one for you that you're gonna recognize immediately."

• 35:46Danielle LaRock?

  And unmistakably also.

• 35:49Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yes. It's like, what did you say? And then have it, have someone else hear the same thing you heard, you know?

• 35:57Danielle LaRock?

  Reiterate it and be like, "I don't know what it means, but sorry, sorry about that." And just like move on with their day and let, like unbeknownst to them, they just totally did, gave the best gift they could have ever given.

• 36:12Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 36:13Danielle LaRock?

  You know, in passing. So, I love that story. Mike, thank you for sharing a piece of your love story with us.

• 36:19Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah. All right. Well, my next story is titled, "The Death of a Sleeping Bag." Hi, I'm a new listener and love the podcast. Welcome. We're so happy to have you. On a camping trip with friends in Cedar City, Utah, we spent the better part of the day paddle boarding with my dog, Mabel. She had the time of her life swimming and fetching, and then we went back to our site for dinner in a fire. Once the night started winding down, me and my now-husband Richie took Mabel to the tent and settled into bed. I was awoken from a deep sleep by Richie, who said he smelled something horrible. I sleepily shined my light around to find the sores brown puppy prints in circles around the tent

• 37:02Cassandra Yahnian?

  and a sad little border collie ashamed, hiding in the corner. Clearly, someone had had an accident. I followed the prints, only to find that the trail ended at my sleeping bag. I nervously lifted the bag to discover that in my sleep, I had rolled over into Mabel's runny, dookie puddle. We spent the majority of the night scrubbing the tent and trying to remedy the smell. Unfortunately, it was the coldest night I've ever camped in, so I had no choice but to settle back into my only slightly cleaned sleeping bag in the only slightly smelly tent. It made for a very rough night. As a side note, we had borrowed that tent from a friend and to this day, never told them what happened.

• 37:47Danielle LaRock?

  No.

• 37:51Danielle LaRock?

  That's diabolical.

• 37:52Cassandra Yahnian?

  That is, that is a good secret to have. I hope one day, when the feeling, when it's feeling right, you're like, I have a confession.

• 38:02Danielle LaRock?

  And, oh, you like to admit it later on?

• 38:04Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah. A week or two later, having deep cleaned and air-dried my sleeping bag, which was no easy feat, my sister, Carson, and I decided to take Mabel and my mom's dog, Beans, on a backpacking trip. Now, some important notes about Beans. She is the strangest dog I've ever met. She is so incredibly stubborn and has very particular patterns and practices she has to follow. If not, she goes completely stiff and will not move. She is also wildly unathletic, so we made sure the backpacking trip was, in hindsight, fortunately, very short. Anyway, it was a beautiful day, and the hike was perfect, other than the flies. We were excited when we hit camp and the sun started to go down, and with it, the flies.

• 38:50Cassandra Yahnian?

  After 15 minutes of bug-free bliss, the mosquitoes started coming out. So many mosquitoes. We had done this hike before, but never so early in the year, and had not done near enough research on bug conditions. They were bothering us, but more than anything, they were bothering Beans, who started scratching the outside of the tent to get in. We obliged, only for her to scratch the inside of the tent, wanting to rejoin the group. After repeating this cycle several times, we decided it was best for everyone, especially Beans, if we retired to the tent so Beans felt both safe and included. I had been enjoying some relaxing reading time for no more than 10 minutes when Bean's stomach made a horrible sound.

• 39:34Cassandra Yahnian?

  It was clear, Beans was going to lose her dinner from one end or the other. Feeling protective of my newly cleaned sleeping bag, I instinctively and stupidly held my hands out in a cup under her mouth just as she started to vomit. That is quite the instinct. I've never instinctively.

• 39:54Danielle LaRock?

  I've never had that reflex.

• 39:56Cassandra Yahnian?

  No. Actually, I have had that reflex, but I'll, um, I had that reflex once, but it was my own vomit, which maybe is worse.

• 40:05Danielle LaRock?

  Oh, well.

• 40:06Cassandra Yahnian?

  I instinctively like covered my hands over my mouth, and it was really bad because it actually just shot up. And I was in a car, and it shot up and hit the ceiling.

• 40:19Danielle LaRock?

  Oh, there was power behind that one.

• 40:21Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, I'm sorry, Amy. It was her car.

• 40:24Danielle LaRock?

  Of course, it was Amy's car.

• 40:27Cassandra Yahnian?

  So if you're listening, just know, I think about it kind of often, actually.

• 40:31Danielle LaRock?

  To this day.

• 40:31Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah. Anyway, back to the story. It was the worst thing I have ever smelled in my entire life. As Carson gets a whiff, she immediately unzips the tent to vomit in response. As for me, I had saved my sleeping bag, but now had to carefully direct a handful of dog vomit out of the tent without spilling. And I did it. Success. But just as I turned my body away from Beans, she unleashed round two. Feeling the warm and chunky vomit on my back.

• 41:06Cassandra Yahnian?

  Can't catch a break. I leapt out of the tent and started stripping all my clothes off as I sprinted to the lake in a panic to rinse off. Oh, no. When I came back to assess the damage, I saw that my freshly washed sleeping bag had also become a victim of Beans. Worse still, when I looked at Beans, her entire face swelled to twice its normal size. In a hurried panic, we grabbed our things to take Beans to safety. Because of the worry, we weren't able to take things down and put them away as well as we usually would. So our packing consisted of throwing everything in a garbage bag and hoisting it over our shoulders,

• 41:49Cassandra Yahnian?

  Santa Claus style. We hiked back down in the pitch black worried for Beans's life. Meanwhile, Beans was happy as a clam, sniffing everything around and as usual, having no sense of urgency. When we finally got back to cell phone service, we called the vet and were advised to give Ben a drill. Beans was totally fine. And now we never take our dogs anywhere without Ben a drill, just in case. Anyway, that was the last camping trip that sleeping bag went on. Whether in my head or not, I could not get the smell out and ended up retiring her. Thanks again for your stories and entertainment. That sleeping bag was cursed.

• 42:26Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah.

• 42:27Cassandra Yahnian?

  It's best to be gone.

• 42:29Danielle LaRock?

  Get rid of that. I, you know, the like, it's not funny. It's not funny. But the thing going around right now, I think it's called cyclosporiosis or something.

• 42:40Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 42:41Danielle LaRock?

  Sounds like this is your patient zero, Beans. And that other one. Because like the diarrhea and vomiting, isn't it? That's what the sickness is.

• 42:52Cassandra Yahnian?

  It's like three weeks of that. Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

• 42:56Danielle LaRock?

  So.

• 42:58Danielle LaRock?

  We might have just solved the case.

• 43:00Cassandra Yahnian?

  There it is.

• 43:01Danielle LaRock?

  I have the worst thing I've ever smelled.

• 43:06Danielle LaRock?

  Now that we're on this topic. And it had, it's relevant to the story because it's kind of similar. It was one of those, I'm not really a contact vomiter. Like if I see someone getting sick, like it grosses me out, but I'm not heaving myself, you know, I don't.

• 43:23Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 43:24Danielle LaRock?

  Okay, I don't, I don't want to look at it, but I'm okay.

• 43:28Danielle LaRock?

  This was years ago, but I was with an ex-boyfriend and we were in his car and Chaska, this is before the days of even blue. I just had Chaska. And he had gotten into some sort of something outside. And he had eaten a lot of it. And I know for a fact, it was some type of poop. His poop, other dogs poop, another animal's poop. It was poop. No denying it. And which is gross in and of itself. And then we get in the car, we're driving for a while and I look back and Chaska is like, he's not paused up on the center console, but he's sitting in the backseat, like

• 44:13Danielle LaRock?

  right between where the center console would be. I look at him and his eyes are kind of almost shut and he's just like swaying. And he never gets carsick, ever. So I'm like, oh no, what's going on bud? Like, and then all of a sudden I start seeing him do the, he's, he's starting to heave.

• 44:33Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 44:33Danielle LaRock?

  But we were actively driving. I'm like, you need to pull over right this second. Chaska's gonna throw up. Before we can get anywhere close to the side of the road, he projectile vomits. The most vomit I've ever seen come out of a dog. And it was vomit and poop.

• 44:51Cassandra Yahnian?

  Cause he had just. Because he had just ate poop.

• 44:54Danielle LaRock?

  And it went, when I say everywhere, every nook, cranny, in the like, where you put, click your seatbelt in, like in, it was everywhere. And I was, I was like, I'm gonna throw up. I was leaning my head out of the window about to throw up. I'm like, this is the most disgusting thing I've ever experienced in my entire life. So I felt bad for Chaska. I wanted to make sure he was okay, but I was also now fighting for my life. And then my boyfriend, my ex was mad at me. I'm like, yeah, because that's my fault.

• 45:25Cassandra Yahnian?

  I made.

• 45:26Danielle LaRock?

  And that's why we broke up.

• 45:27Cassandra Yahnian?

  It's like, actually, you didn't pull over in time. It's so funny because I have a similar story with an ex-boyfriend's dog. He was not in the car with me when this happened, but I was taking his dog hiking and I was going up to New Hampshire and his dog had extreme anxiety in the car, uh, which was very frustrating because he would scream pretty much the entire car ride and pant. And we were going about an hour and a half away. So anyway, he was screaming, panting. He did this every time. There was no like, oh, something's wrong this time. It was just his normal panting, spinning around in the backseat, like just being a little wild. And, um, we get

• 46:10Cassandra Yahnian?

  to the parking lot of the trailhead. I just pull in, I'm about to park.

• 46:15Danielle LaRock?

  I don't know.

• 46:16Cassandra Yahnian?

  And he starts shitting all over my backseat. And I'm not at the parking spot yet. Like I have to get to it. I'm like, no, no, no. So I'm like rushing to get to the parking spot, but also because he is full of anxiety, he was also running in circles and stomping it all into the backseat of my car. And also just to like, the cherry on top is my seats. They weren't like leather or like the cloth, like the cleanable cloth. They're like that fuzzy, they're kind

• 46:54Cassandra Yahnian?

  of like that fuzzy seat where like, it's very hard to clean. And he's just stomping in all of it. And I, we were actually, I remember we were at Gunstock Ski Resort. There's a hike, we were gonna hike up. And it was summer, so there wasn't really anyone there. And I was meeting up with a friend and she like grabbed a bunch of paper towels and we cleaned it the best we could. But for the entire ride home, I had to have the windows all the way rolled down because we just couldn't get everything out of it in time. And then I had to get my car detailed because it was so disgusting.

• 47:34Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah. Dogs, they're the best.

• 47:37Cassandra Yahnian?

  Get one. Yeah. Adopt now. Use our code NPAD.

• 47:45Danielle LaRock?

  This life could be yours as well.

• 47:47Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yes.

• 47:48Danielle LaRock?

  Okay, so, uh, my last story is titled, Don't Steal My Partner's Bike, A Love Letter. All of my stories have to do with love.

• 47:57Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 47:57Danielle LaRock?

  Well, and some of yours too, or at least one of yours.

• 48:01Cassandra Yahnian?

  I mean, my next story is titled Wedding Stabbing With A Happy Ending. So I guess mine is also a love story coming up.

• 48:08Danielle LaRock?

  Maybe. Okay. So, all right, here we go. Don't Steal My Partner's Bike, A Love Story. At the beginning of this year, I got a new job, which I hated simply for the fact that I had a long commute, a classic conundrum. Like I would wake up in the morning and cry about it kind of drama. When my delightful partner R suggested your podcast, my entire outlook changed and suddenly I was excited to get out of bed and drive to work so I could hang out with you two and listen to your stories. Thus began a tradition of R and me listening to different episodes than one another and then coming home each day saying, you have to listen to this episode. It's crazy. Before proceeding to spoil every detail for one another. It's been

• 48:49Danielle LaRock?

  epic. So thank you. I can't emphasize that enough. This story doesn't strictly take place in the outdoors, but it does involve a climbing gym and a bike race, sort of. R and I met a while back working at a climbing gym. It was during a time in my life where I swore I wasn't going to even think about dating again until I turned 30. I was 23 at the time. That just made me feel, I don't know what just happened. I got hit in the heart really quick. I'm like, that's so young. That's so young. 23?

• 49:21Cassandra Yahnian?

  You have a whole life ahead of you.

• 49:24Danielle LaRock?

  Bringing a tear to my eye.

• 49:26Danielle LaRock?

  They were actively in a long-term relationship, so the odds were pretty stacked against us. Less than three months later, they were out of that relationship and I realized that love is in fact real. We've been together ever since. Since we started dating, my entire life has turned upside down for the better. R is the kind of person who says they want to live an adventurous life and then they actually go and do it. And they love sharing their knowledge and skillset about the outdoors. I've seriously never met someone that is so good at something and so excited and patient about sharing that thing with others. They've taught me how to climb, backpack, camp, and also a million other things about life. Simply, they are the strongest, most wonderful human I know. At the time this story happened, R's

• 50:10Danielle LaRock?

  car had recently taken its final breaths, so they had turned to biking as their main means of transportation. They bought a nice red bike off Facebook Marketplace for 50 bucks. Our coworker switched out the pedals for these fun red and gray kind of swirly patterned ones. One afternoon, when we were still working together at the climbing gym, we planned to meet at R's apartment so I could drive them to our shift. When I got there, I didn't see their bike on the porch where they normally lock it up, so I assumed they weren't home yet. I texted them and they opened up their door right away. My bike was stolen, they said, relatively casually, considering the gravity of the situation. I was enraged for them, but they just calmly said, I'll figure it out. At the time, I didn't know how much they meant

• 50:52Danielle LaRock?

  that. The next day, when I came over after my shift, they were sitting on their computer. They looked at me excitedly. I found my bike. What do you mean you found your bike? I said. They turned their computer to face me and there it was, a Facebook Marketplace post of a red bike with gray and red swirly patterned pedals. It was unmistakably their bike that someone had stolen and was now trying to resell. As a reminder, R bought this bike for around 50 bucks. This man was trying to sell it for 500.

• 51:25Cassandra Yahnian?

  Wow.

• 51:26Danielle LaRock?

  Crazy. R closed their computer and calmly said, I'm gonna go steal it back. And so the heist began. They messaged Bike Thief and made a plan to meet at a pizza shop a couple of blocks down from our work. We wanted to pick somewhere relatively busy and familiar. They planned to meet in the early afternoon, right after our shift finished up. I was working that day too, and all morning, we and our coworkers were brainstorming ways to pull this off and how to make sure R stayed safe. Someone suggested they should bring scissors to protect themselves. Yeah, totally scissors, I said. R looked at us again, again, so chill,

• 52:07Danielle LaRock?

  so calm and said, I am not gonna stab this guy. And so they brought a wrench.

• 52:14Danielle LaRock?

  At their end of their shift-

• 52:15Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, bludgeon him.

• 52:16Danielle LaRock?

  Right. Bludgeoning is the better option.

• 52:19Cassandra Yahnian?

  So different.

• 52:20Danielle LaRock?

  At the end of their shift, I took my break and we got in the car where I drove them about a block away from the pizza shop. They got out in a place where Bike Thief couldn't see our car. They pocketed their wrench and walked around to the front of the store. Next to the store was a one-way, one-lane alley. This was their planned escape route. We figured we might not have enough time to actually put the bike in the car without Bike Thief catching up to us, so we came up with an alternative plan. I pulled my car into a parking spot at the end of the alley and watched R. out of my side mirror. Bike Thief brought the bike out of his truck and R. put on a convincing show of asking questions and seeming curious about the bike.

• 53:02Danielle LaRock?

  Then they asked if they could take it on a test ride. Bike Thief shrugged and R. hopped on it, giving it a few slow pedals before turning the corner into the alley and absolutely gunning it. I pulled my car out of the parking spot and idled in the alley to make sure Bike Thief didn't hop in his truck and try and chase them down. I waited until I saw them turn off of the alley and head towards the gym before pulling around the block to see what Bike Thief was up to. He was pacing back and forth and looking at his watch. I almost felt bad for him, but not really. By the time I drove back to the gym and parked my car, R. was storing their bike safely

• 53:42Danielle LaRock?

  in the back stairwell. Then they immediately blocked Bike Thief on Facebook. Success. We reveled in our glory for a minute and I returned back to work. I like to pretend that I was a big part of that win, but let's be honest, they did all the brave stuff. I was just happy to be a part of it. This was just the beginning of me understanding the boldness, strength, and creativity of R. They will never cease to surprise me with the combination of bravery and sweetness they bring to the world. I'm endlessly grateful for the adventures we share. Thanks for sharing my story. I love you too. I love you, R. Happy birthday, Kay. That's so sweet.

• 54:20Cassandra Yahnian?

  That is cute. I'm so glad you got your bike back. And that's so shitty when people do stuff like that, because that's kind of common. I remember my cousin, someone who she knew stole her cellphone, and she knew that this person had it. And then he also, I think it was on Craigslist, that he had listed her cellphone on to sell, and her dad actually went, was like, hey, I'm interested in this phone, and showed up and confronted him and got her phone back without paying, obviously. Such a dad move. But I love that you guys were able to swindle this guy. And I don't feel bad at all for him standing there looking at his watch like, is he coming back? I think it's hilarious.

• 55:02Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, I don't know if I would be brave enough, but I commend the heist in its entirety. It's just such a, stealing is such a, especially when you don't need to. Like, that person didn't need to steal that bike-

• 55:17Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 55:18Danielle LaRock?

  -and sell it for $500. Like, that's insane.

• 55:21Cassandra Yahnian?

  I mean, you don't know, maybe they needed it financially. That's what I think, like, when people are being really sleazy like that. I'm like, maybe you needed this more than I did. You know, maybe you need this money. I know that's not always true. But that's just, I'm like, if you need it that bad, you're doing it wrong. But-

• 55:42Danielle LaRock?

  And I will seek revenge. But just know, I had a pure thought about it. And I considered that maybe, you know, you're just in a tough spot.

• 55:52Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 55:53Danielle LaRock?

  That's kind of you. I just get pissed right away.

• 55:56Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 56:00Danielle LaRock?

  I am such a fan of makeup that looks natural and doesn't feel like I'm wearing a ton of product, which is why I've been loving the Just Enough Tinted Moisturizer from Jones Road Beauty. I love having something I can quickly throw on in the morning that evens out my complexion without feeling like I'm wearing a full face of makeup. Especially when I'm traveling or spending time outdoors, I want something lightweight that lets my natural skin show through while giving me a little bit of coverage. Jones Road Beauty was created by legendary makeup artist Bobby Brown, and her philosophy is all about enhancing your natural beauty rather than covering it up. If you're like me and love that natural, no-makeup makeup look, you have to check it out. Modern-day makeup that's clean, strategic, and multifunctional for effortless routines.

• 56:42Danielle LaRock?

  For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free, full-size mascara on their first purchase when they use code NPAD at checkout. Just head to jonesbeauty.com and use code NPAD at checkout. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon Fall Drop, because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's Fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces, so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece, and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 57:33Danielle LaRock?

  You have one more, I think. Stop just looking at me.

• 57:37Cassandra Yahnian?

  I do have one more. It's called Wedding Stabbing with a Happy Ending. Hi, Cassie and Danielle. I've been thinking about submitting this for about as long as I've been listening to the podcast, which has been years at this point. I started from the very first episode and always listen when they air. Thank you for sharing stories and sharing yourselves with the listeners. It's safe to say that all of us listeners love and appreciate the work you do, so keep on doing amazing things. Thank you so much. It means a lot that you listen every time we post an episode. It really does. My husband and I will be celebrating our ninth anniversary this year, and I figured it was time to share our wedding tale with you

• 58:16Cassandra Yahnian?

  and the listeners. For some background, Carl and I met in 2013 when we were hired on the same day at a local coffee shop in Northern California. We shamelessly flirted with each other for eight months before making it official and fell deeply in love with each other. We share a passion for travel and adventure, and in 2015, we sold all of our stuff and backpacked around Southeast Asia for nearly four months. While we were in Laos, we took a hot air balloon ride at sunrise where Carl proposed to me. Once we returned stateside, we decided to move back to my hometown in Idaho to be closer to my family. We planned our wedding for July 2017

• 58:58Cassandra Yahnian?

  at a beautiful country park five miles north of my hometown called Virgil Phillips Farm. The setting couldn't be more idyllic. We live in an area called Palouse, which is a region of rolling hills that were once prairie. Now, these rolling hills are mostly farmland, but they are also interspersed with forests, creeks, rivers, and buttes. It is truly a unique and awe-inspiring place. The park where we got married has a large gazebo, heritage apple and plume orchards, wetlands, a pond, winding forest trails, and a large meadow. Our ceremony was in the meadow in front of a large grove of quaking aspen under a white arch laden with local grown

• 59:39Cassandra Yahnian?

  flowers. Like most July days in this part of Idaho, our wedding day was forecasted to be a hot one, and we were concerned about our elderly and young guests being out in the heat for too long. Our reception was to be in town in a hotel with air conditioning. The plan was to keep the ceremony short, take some photos, and then head to the reception. I am super type A, so I had the entire wedding timeline planned out to the minute. Husband interjecting here to note that while the timeline was literally planned out to the minute, Laurel was in no way a bride's love like this makes her seem.

• 1:00:14Danielle LaRock?

  That's very kind.

• 1:00:16Cassandra Yahnian?

  That is very kind. I love when husbands have their wives back. Like, no, no, she's fine. I had spent the day getting ready at my parents' house while Carl was at our home getting ready. He has ADHD, so I was bugging him to make sure he ate during the day, which, of course, he forgot to do. By the time the pre-ceremony activities were taking place, he was starving, but he pushed forward, surviving on some car chips and a granola bar someone dug out of the bottom of their bag for him. We took wedding party photos before the ceremony, and we were all a little sweaty in our wedding attire, but it was no problem. Our ceremony was short and sweet. Afterwards, we hung around the flower arch and got group photos with all

• 1:00:57Cassandra Yahnian?

  sides of our family. Then we took bride and groom photos. Since we were on a budget, we had asked our friends to help clean up the chairs before heading to the reception. The rental company arrived to pick up the chairs and archway just as we were finishing up with the photos. The last thing we needed to do was take the flowers off the archway. I wanted to take them home with me, and then we could head to the reception. My husband collects pocket knives, and as my wedding gift to him, I had given him a small penknife with a blue, jigged bone handle and a Damascus blade. It was sleek and beautiful, and he, of course, had it in his suit during our ceremony. As we are wrapping up photos, I say to him, do you have your new knife on you?

• 1:01:41Cassandra Yahnian?

  Can you cut the flowers down from that side? Of course, he tells me, always excited to use his knives when the opportunity arises. I turn to my right and start fiddling around with the flowers from my side. They are being held on with zip ties that are about a half an inch wide, which is pretty thick for a zip tie. I have my back turned to Carl when I hear a little sound come out of him like, oof. I turn around and look at him as he says, I think I just stabbed myself. He opens his suit jacket and pulls his dress shirt from his pants to reveal his stomach with blood blurping out of a fresh puncture wound.

• 1:02:20Cassandra Yahnian?

  Even though he had been holding the knife away from him and pushing outward, the small knife was not the right tool for the job. The excess force he was applying made the knife slip off the zip tie in just the right way so that it came down onto his stomach. Our photographer, who just so happened to be a former Wildland paramedic, jumped into action. And my dad offered up his bandana so Carl could apply pressure to the wound. We rushed to my dad's car, which luckily was parked by the gazebo and not at the top of the very large hill where everyone else had parked. I was in the passenger seat trying to stay calm. Carl was in the backseat, holding a bloody bandana over his stomach.

• 1:03:01Cassandra Yahnian?

  And my dad was driving like a bad out of hell up the narrow dirt road, peeling out onto the highway and speeding us the five miles back to town. During the drive, I turned to my dad and asked, do you think I should call the ER and let them know we are coming? My dad said to me, good idea. When they pick up, tell them we've got a 30-year-old man with a stab wound to the abdomen. I don't want to say that, I cried, but I did it anyway. And when we got to the hospital, the receptionist at the ER got on the intercom and said stab wound is here. They whisked him back and I followed in my wedding dress and shoes. They hooked him up to monitors, inspected the wound, and eventually told us the game plan. Either they would do a CT with dye to see if there was any internal bleeding,

• 1:03:45Cassandra Yahnian?

  or they could put him under anesthesia and go in from the wound opening to see what damage was done. If he got put under, he would be admitted for the night. But if he got the CT scan and everything looked okay, he might be able to be discharged. We opted for the CT scan. As anyone who's been an ER patient knows, you do a lot of waiting. I definitely played up the fact that this was our wedding day and we still had a reception to get to. And everyone treated me like a queen and tried to move things along as fast as possible. All of the doctors and nurses were so good to the both of us. Eventually, he got the CT scan and that plus the monitoring showed that he hadn't hit anything important. And they let us know that we would be released that night.

• 1:04:30Cassandra Yahnian?

  Woohoo. He ended up needing two stitches as it was a narrow blade and the stab was a puncture without slicing motion. Carl maintains to this day that it went in all the way to the hilt of the knife. The doctors and my husband even made a joke about how a little bit of belly fat, one might say a beer belly, saved his life. Before we got released, they let him know that he shouldn't eat or drink any alcohol that night. Are you kidding me? He reacted. I haven't eaten all day. If only he had listened to me when I reminded him to eat before the ceremony. After some back and forth, the doctor agreed he could eat dinner, have one slice of cake, and one glass of champagne for the wedding party toast. Finally, at 9:00 PM, we rolled up to our wedding reception.

• 1:05:14Cassandra Yahnian?

  Our reception had started without us and our friends and family were passing the time, sharing stories about us while we were in the ER. Nine years later, and we are all still bummed we missed the appetizers we had picked out for our big day. We were only three hours late. Dinner was waiting for us and our maid of honor, best man, and dads were ready to give their speeches. We also had a long receiving line where everyone, thoroughly tipsy by then, thought it was necessary to give the groom a big slap on the back and wish him well. Newsflash, he was in a lot of pain and every smack on the shoulder or back caused him to wince. He could barely stand, so we scraped our first dance and had the caterers bring our wedding cake to the head table for us to cut.

• 1:06:00Cassandra Yahnian?

  Even though my meticulous schedule had been ruined and Carl was in a lot of pain, it was still a really fun reception and so many people have told us it was one of the most fun weddings they have ever been to. I mean, think about it. Our wedding day had all the trappings of a great story, romance, drama, suspense, and a happy ending. As all good groomsmen do during a wedding, ours snuck out to the car during the reception and wrote with chalk pens on our back window, just married, then promptly stabbed.

• 1:06:34Cassandra Yahnian?

  When we left for our honeymoon two days later, we decided to leave it on our back window. This brings us to our honeymoon and where I tie this story into national parks. For our honeymoon, we spent five nights camping in Yellowstone National Park, five nights camping in Grand Teton National Park, and one night on each end, traveling to and from the parks. For our wedding registry, we had asked guests to contribute experiences to our honeymoon, including things like boating on Yellowstone Lake, wildlife tours, rafting the Snake River, a dinner cruise, and other meals at some of the most iconic lodges in both parks. The only thing we decided to back out of was horseback riding as bouncing around in a saddle did not sound appealing to Carl and his poor sore stomach.

• 1:07:19Cassandra Yahnian?

  One very cool experience we had was on the Old West Dinner Cookout in Yellowstone. The visitors are gathered up in horse-drawn covered wagons and taken to a cookout site where cowboys grill you a full dinner and then play live music while the sun sets. It was a truly incredible experience on its own, but for us, something amazing happened. While we were waiting to load up into the covered wagon, we got to talking to someone in the parking lot about the message written on the back of our car. Of course, we told him the story and it turned out he was our wagon master and one of the musicians. So after dinner was over, our wagon master was up on stage with the rest of the cowboy band

• 1:07:58Cassandra Yahnian?

  and he invited Carl and I up to have our first dance, since we didn't get to have one on our wedding day. The band played Elvis, Can't Help Falling in Love. It was pure magic. That's so sweet and really kind and a beautiful place to have your first dance. Other notable memories from our honeymoon were seeing a grizzly mama with her cubs in Grand Teton, getting Carl's stitches removed in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and also making a bonus national park stop at Craters of the Moon National Monument on the way home. The year after our wedding, I led a group of students on a week-long volunteering trip to Southern Idaho through the university I work at. And one of the students was a pre-med student who volunteered at the hospital.

• 1:08:43Cassandra Yahnian?

  Our group grew very close over the week together and I ended up sharing our wedding story. I showed everyone a picture of Carl in the ER bed with me by his side in my wedding gown. And the pre-med student exclaimed, they had you in the critical trauma room? And I thought, gee, I sure am glad they didn't tell us that at the time. Years and years later, we also learned that a second bride and groom had arrived at the ER that night, but apparently because of appendicitis. I'm not sure I believe that or not, or if maybe the two stories have gotten mixed up over the years from ER lore. We still have the knife, which we now consider a family heirloom, and we still are hoping to go back to Yellowstone and Grand Teton someday soon.

• 1:09:25Cassandra Yahnian?

  This time with our two kids that have since joined us on family journeys. Enjoy the view, but watch your back and always use the right tool for the job. Laurel.

• 1:09:35Danielle LaRock?

  What a memorable, nuptial day.

• 1:09:39Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yes, truly. Not everyone gets stabbed at their wedding.

• 1:09:44Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, I mean, thank God for that.

• 1:09:46Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yes.

• 1:09:46Danielle LaRock?

  I will, I would like to hear some wedding stories gone awry. That would be really fun to hear.

• 1:09:54Cassandra Yahnian?

  That would be fun.

• 1:09:56Danielle LaRock?

  And interestingly, coincidentally, if we believed in those, as I was preparing this, I went and got, like the next day or maybe two days later, I went to get my scuba cert. And the only other girl that was with me in the certification course, she was actually already certified. She was just getting dives under her belt for another certification, like a higher level. And she was saying how she, on the side, works as a DJ, like a wedding DJ.

• 1:10:30Cassandra Yahnian?

  How fun.

• 1:10:30Danielle LaRock?

  And one of her most memorable ones was a couple of years ago now, and I forget where it was, somewhere in New England. And the groom like took a bet from some of the groomsmen to jump off of like some like balcony thing. And he snapped both of his ankles and had to go to the ER.

• 1:10:52Danielle LaRock?

  Like right after they got married, the party was just starting and he jumps off a balcony in front of everyone and just breaks both of his ankles.

• 1:11:00Cassandra Yahnian?

  Oh my God, no.

• 1:11:04Cassandra Yahnian?

  That would give me the ick.

• 1:11:06Danielle LaRock?

  If I, I know.

• 1:11:07Cassandra Yahnian?

  That would give me the ick so bad.

• 1:11:09Danielle LaRock?

  I'd be like.

• 1:11:10Cassandra Yahnian?

  Immediate divorce.

• 1:11:11Danielle LaRock?

  Can we annul this?

• 1:11:14Danielle LaRock?

  Is it too late to get this reversed?

• 1:11:17Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, I changed my mind.

• 1:11:20Danielle LaRock?

  But I did say, I think I said something like that. And she was like, oh, no, I follow them on Facebook and they have kids now and stuff. I'm like, okay, glad it worked out for them, but I don't know if I would have. Yeah, I was like, ugh, okay. Anyway, so that's the type of things we want to hear. If you're going to send in something about weddings, it needs to be, I want the tea.

• 1:11:42Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, give us the tea.

• 1:11:45Danielle LaRock?

  All right, well, thanks for hanging in on a particularly long Trail Tale episode. Once again, come see us on tour. We would love it so, so very much.

• 1:11:56Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yes.

• 1:11:57Danielle LaRock?

  A lot of the venues are fun and cool and we picked cities that we knew, especially in the Lakes region, like west, like Midwest. You guys are plentiful out there. You're like, oh, I'm from Wisconsin and Michigan and all that. I'm like, and Illinois? Who would have thought so many of you? So we expect to see every single person. And also.

• 1:12:21Cassandra Yahnian?

  We're coming for you.

• 1:12:22Danielle LaRock?

  Just saying this, just saying this, no pressure, New England. But the Wilbur is a big deal in Boston.

• 1:12:30Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yes, we are going to be at the Wilbur. And it's very nerve wracking. So if you're in New England, you better get there.

• 1:12:39Danielle LaRock?

  Come and bring like at least two people.

• 1:12:43Cassandra Yahnian?

  Please, please. There's so many seats to fill.

• 1:12:46Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, there is. It's like over a thousand.

• 1:12:49Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah, it's like Taylor Swift's wedding amount.

• 1:12:53Danielle LaRock?

  Which is true.

• 1:12:55Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:55Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:55Cassandra Yahnian?

  So that's what we're competing with right now. So please.

• 1:13:00Danielle LaRock?

  I didn't even think of it that way. And now I'm intimidated. If you are an outsider on Apple subscriptions or Patreon, we have two extra stories for you. If you want more, mine is titled Ghostly Trail Tale.

• 1:13:15Cassandra Yahnian?

  And mine is called Grandpa, Did You Put A Ghost In My Car?

• 1:13:20Danielle LaRock?

  All right.

• 1:13:21Cassandra Yahnian?

  We're switching themes.

• 1:13:22Danielle LaRock?

  Yeah, going to the paranormal. So we'll see you over there. Everyone else, we will see you next week. In the meantime, enjoy the view.

• 1:13:30Cassandra Yahnian?

  But watch your back.

• 1:13:31Danielle LaRock?

  Bye.

• 1:13:32Cassandra Yahnian?

  Bye.

• 1:13:35Cassandra Yahnian?

  Thanks for joining us for another episode. We hope you learned something new and have another location to put on your list. If you want more NPAD content, make sure to follow along with our adventures on all socials at National Park After Dark. For more stories just like this one with the added bonus of exclusive content, you can join us on Patreon or Apple subscriptions. If you prefer to watch our episodes, head over to our YouTube channel. And if you're enjoying the show, please take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe on your favorite listening platform.

• 1:14:12Danielle LaRock?

  I know Braxton says he can't hear it, but I can hear it very loudly and it's very distracting.

• 1:14:17Cassandra Yahnian?

  I can hear it very loudly.

• 1:14:18Danielle LaRock?

  Okay, sorry, Braxton, I believe you. I just.

• 1:14:21Cassandra Yahnian?

  Don't believe you.

• 1:14:22Danielle LaRock?

  I don't like it.

• 1:14:25Cassandra Yahnian?

  We just don't understand how you couldn't hear this.

• 1:14:29Danielle LaRock?

  It's like reverberating around this room.

• 1:14:31Cassandra Yahnian?

  I think you should get that checked. Some people can't hear certain sound decibels.

• 1:14:36Danielle LaRock?

  That's true.

• 1:14:37Cassandra Yahnian?

  Yeah. Have you ever considered that you can't hear trains?

• 1:14:43Danielle LaRock?

  Go to the doctor.

• 1:14:46Speaker 03

  Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage. They're basically the baby gates of insurance. Get a quote at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers, not available in all states.

• 1:15:16Speaker 04

  When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's Fall Drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy to layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.