The Houston Show!

TST went to Houston, TX! In this show, Zack and Matt compete to make the most "Houston-like" dream garage; talk about the Tesla diner; hypothesize why Cadillacs learned to turn; and ROAST a bunch of cars submitted by our amazing fans. Thanks to EVERYONE who came to see us. We will be back. Recorded July 24, 2025 Go to https://www. HelloFresh.com/smokingtire10fm now to get 10 Free Meals with a Free Item For Life. New merch! Grab a shirt or hoodie and support us! https://thesmokingtireshop.com/ Use Off The Record! and ALWAYS fight your tickets! For a 10% discount on your first case go to https://www.offtherecord.com/TST Want your question answered? Want to watch the live stream, get ad-free podcasts, or exclusive podcasts? Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thesmokingtirepodcast Instagram: https://www. Instagram.com/thesmokingtire https://www. Instagram.com/therealzackklapman

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Matt Farah?

  What up everybody, welcome to the Smoking Tire Podcast. Today's episode is, as always, brought to you by Off the Record. We love Off the Record, and you guys too. A few of our patrons hit us up recently and said Off the Record really saved their backsides when they got pulled over for allegedly doing some things they shouldn't have been doing. Off the Record is a service that connects you with local qualified attorneys who will fight your case in court if needed, they'll negotiate with the prosecutor, do all the things. So, when you go to offtherecord.com/tst, all you have to do is include a photo or scan of your ticket, a brief description of what happened in your own words, and Off

• 0:42Matt Farah?

  the Record will set it up from there. Don't plead guilty, get off the record. I'm telling you, I hear every week from folks who listen to our show and get off the record, and they get their backsides saved. So, do it. OfftheRecord.com/tst for 10% off all legal services with Off the Record. Alright folks, this is it, our first ever ticketed live event from Houston, Texas. We were down at the Shop Club in Houston, and tried to localize this one a little bit. We put together a competition to see who, between Zach and I, could put together the best $1

• 1:23Matt Farah?

  Houston-themed garage. We talk about Tesla's new diner opening in LA, and we roast a bunch of Houstonians' cars to their faces. It's the Smoking Tire, live from Texas. Let's do it.

• 1:41Matt Farah?

  Motherfucking Texas. I'm gonna curse in front of children. Am I, am I gonna curse in front of children? It's never bothered me before. There, it doesn't bother me. Okay, cool. It's, huh? We're all good? Yeah. No, it's literally never bothered me before. It's not gonna stop me today, at all. No. And if it didn't, Tito's won't. Let's just, let's go. This is a Texas vodka right here, isn't it? That's right, yeah. It is, right? Yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah.

• 2:10Matt Farah?

  I can't believe you fucking people live here. I, we just, we've been here six hours, and I had never really had to understand what the term "heat dome" meant.

• 2:25Matt Farah?

  You walk out them doors at G W B, oh, it does feel like a dome. Fucking does, man. That shit is tough, but we got, uh...

• 2:35Speaker 01

  This is now.

• 2:37Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  This is now. I didn't just Google heat dome image. I just went today.

• 2:43Matt Farah?

  No, when we, when we, when we landed and I had service again, I screenshotted that and sent it to Christian, who was wearing like 75 layers of sweatpants because he has Osbergers when he flies. And, and his comfort layers quickly became a burden.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. He wasn't, he did not know what he was getting into temperature-wise, I would say.

• 3:05Matt Farah?

  Yeah, we thought it was gonna be bad when we got here because I had a, I had a real problem with Enterprise. Like, I'm like a VIP when I travel, not because of anything. I'm not like, yo, we sold 107 in Houston Enterprise. You need to hook me up. Uh, they didn't have any big cars. Zach, Zach, we're all tall people. We have our gear and we have to drive from here to Dallas. They didn't have any big cars and I was very concerned. Fortunately, sweet-talked the guy, got myself a Chrysler Pacifica. Anybody out there?

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Luxurious.

• 3:37Matt Farah?

  Who loves a minivan like I love? And you guys love a minivan? We got in it, we drove like 100 yards. And Zach and I have been driving the new M5 Touring, uh, which is heavier than the Chrysler Pacifica.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  By a huge amount.

• 3:50Matt Farah?

  By a lot.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:52Matt Farah?

  Uh, by an enormous number, a shocking number. Um, and we went 100 feet and I went, Zach, this is better than the M5.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:01Matt Farah?

  And, and I'm not kidding. I'll stand by that shit till the day I die.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  It's got better road manners. The M5 steers itself, even though it's not actively steering itself. It just is set up so poorly.

• 4:09Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Uh, do you think that our, our love of minivans that happened in our 30s is maturity or lowering T? You think that's dropping testosterone? This car's actually really nice.

• 4:20Matt Farah?

  Causation, correlation, causation.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  I just wanna sit in here and cry and listen to something soft.

• 4:25Matt Farah?

  No, it's our love of production. Is anyone here in production or has been in any kind of production? One, one dude? One, two, three? If you've been in production, a minivan... Is one, oh, I know, yeah, what's up? Uh, if you've been in production, a minivan is the greatest Swiss Army knife in the history of, of production and, and man, let me tell you, you don't want to buy a used rental van from a, from a west coast rental agency because Motor Trend and Road and Track, man, do we rip these things. We did performance van of the year once, Road and Track. We had Ross Bentley driving laps, uh, the Chrysler, uh, excuse me, the Dodge Caravan Sport SWB.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  The caravan is the ST of minivans. It is the lightest, it feels the lightest.

• 5:11Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Uh, but you beat on it like it's not worth $500,000.

• 5:14Matt Farah?

  Yeah, super luxurious.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:16Matt Farah?

  But, uh, point being, I love a rented Pacifica and I, and we have pretty good rental car, uh, karma these days. It's not been so good in the past. We used to do like mad burnouts in rental cars and really like break them.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  In a van.

• 5:28Matt Farah?

  In vans. As a matter of fact, check it out on YouTube or don't. Um, but we got this van, but as soon as we got to the hotel, I started laying down and started reading the news and I saw Enterprise, where we rented the van, is employing the AI scanners, yo. Yo, you hear about this shit? I did it the other day. You drive, well, now we might get to find out because at, at George W. Bush, is George W. Bush or just George Bush? Which, which fucking Bush is, has the airport? It's W?

• 6:01Speaker 01

  It's not H, it's W.

• 6:03Matt Farah?

  There isn't even like a big mural in our, um, so apparently, according to the, according to the news.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  This is my airport. My dad's is down the street.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  We're gonna, we're gonna scan all the vans.

• 6:16Matt Farah?

  My dad's in Baghdad.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. My dad left him in Baghdad.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  He doesn't have a bus ticket, no ID.

• 6:24Matt Farah?

  So apparently they have the scanners at, at the airport here, Enterprise. And so, then I remembered, we're returning this motherfucker in Dallas. One-way rental, baby. And then I learned a new fact when we got in at the hotel to drive over here, which is an embarrassingly short distance. This van was given to me with 11 miles on it. It now has 40, Zach. I was given the very first loan of a rental car.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  This is the peak. We peaked.

• 6:58Matt Farah?

  Who's ever got, who's here, has anyone here ever gotten that before? The very first loan of a rental car? Did anyone, did any of you guys truly take advantage of the privilege you were given? You're nodding like a motherfucker. What did you do?

• 7:10Speaker 01

  You found the traction button right away.

• 7:11Matt Farah?

  What'd you do?

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:13Matt Farah?

  What'd you do? Tell me. A 200, the Chrysler 200? That was a fucked up car.

• 7:21Matt Farah?

  That car was so fucked up.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  What if the Civic never got past second grade?

• 7:25Matt Farah?

  That car was so bad.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  That's the 200.

• 7:28Matt Farah?

  Did you, did you abuse it? Did you, what did you do? You did abuse it. A work trip. Yep, that's the right time to do it. Yep, that's the right time. First loan too, zero mile, basically zero mile loan. That's what's up, dude. That's 100% what's up. I got a Nissan Versa once and I wasn't the first loan, but I was close to it, really sub thousand miles. But the loan was to drive to an endurance racing I was doing, I was doing in Tennessee. And at the Friday practice day, they'll let you run any car that passes tech. So I ran about 75 laps, four up in a Versa. Brand new, broke that motherfucker right in, the CV, it was a CVT.

• 8:09Matt Farah?

  Was smoking, smoking, and boy, they didn't know. They didn't know.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  The AI scanner cannot detect transmission damage.

• 8:19Matt Farah?

  But man, so what should we do with a brand new van? I mean, do we, do we do some burnouts? I think it's electric parking brake.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  I am curious if the scanner can detect tire wear, because we, you know, we did like the longest burnout of our lives in a minivan, so we could do that again.

• 8:34Matt Farah?

  I did smoke a joint within, with about five minutes. So that's one kind of breaking it in.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Allegedly, Matt, we're in Texas.

• 8:41Matt Farah?

  Allegedly. You can't prove nothing.

• 8:45Matt Farah?

  Show me the VIN. Show me the rental contract. You know nothing.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  What if, what if the scanner has like a sniffer test and it's like, oh, you blunted this car?

• 8:52Matt Farah?

  Shit. Nah, it wasn't a blunt, it's okay. Shit'll ventilate. I, no, I seriously, I don't know how you guys live here. We've been outside for a combined 45 seconds today and I sweat like I just hiked the highest peak in Malibu, so you're, thank you, thank you for that.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  But we are so happy to see you all.

• 9:10Matt Farah?

  It's crazy. No. You know what, it's also my, my friend Matt Bell, shout out to Matt Bell at the Shop Club for, for having us here.

• 9:19Matt Farah?

  When, you know, I also store cars. This is the business I'm also in. And, and, and one of the only people I like in the business that does this is Matt Bell, because he understands why people would come to a club. It's like, because there's booze and food upstairs. It's not because there's cars downstairs. And so we talk, we talk business, we talk shop a lot. We were not competitive, but I'm so happy to be here at the shop clubs in Texas. And, and, and you guys should really check out a membership if you can. Zach and I thought of some fun Texas-y things to do for you guys today. But we could, we could...

• 10:01Matt Farah?

  Did you guys know that we don't have fuel economy standards anymore? Yeah. Should I, can I assume that I'm in the city where y'all are down with that? Yeah. Yeah. All right. So you, all right. So you guys are... I'm not here to pick a fight. And I like really loud cars and I've had cars with no cats before. I just think they're smelly. They don't actually go any faster. That's the truth. But I'm not going to pick a fight about that. But that's, that's kind of crazy, isn't it? Didn't, did you guys ever think that, that the line of progress in our lives would just turn towards like, you know what? No more fuel economy standards. That is nuts.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Gravity is canceled. We're just gonna cancel that too.

• 10:44Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  It's retroactive too. Do you think that we have to like...

• 10:48Matt Farah?

  It's retroactive.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  It's, they won't face penalties for the last three years.

• 10:51Matt Farah?

  It's back to 2022. Isn't that nuts?

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Well, I wonder if a bunch of OEMs are gonna show up like at the White House where everyone go, "Oh, you owe us $80 million."

• 10:59Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  Stellantis will be there quick.

• 11:02Matt Farah?

  But...

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Stellantis.

• 11:05Matt Farah?

  Well, there, I mean, Stellantis is like...

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Volkswagen.

• 11:07Matt Farah?

  Dude, Stellantis, mark my words.

• 11:12Matt Farah?

  Six months, right? Six, who thinks, let's do an over/under. Who thinks it will be more than six months until Tim Koeniskas, the new head of the revived SRT, says, "The Hellcat is back."

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:26Matt Farah?

  Who think, who, give me a show of hands, over six months? Fucking nobody. Zero.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Nobody. Nobody.

• 11:32Matt Farah?

  Zero.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  The only people that said no to that don't know who Tim Koeniskas is.

• 11:36Matt Farah?

  I am in the fuel consumption capital of the universe and everyone's like, "No, we already know that shit. My friend works over there and they be telling me this shit's coming back like next week." They only idled the plant, they only idled the plant when the Red Cross showed up.

• 11:53Matt Farah?

  They put out the good food.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  The CNC machine's still warm, man. We can just power right back up.

• 11:59Matt Farah?

  Hundred percent.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  It's like, uh, John Wick, like they buried the engine blueprints under concrete, but it's really thin and it's cardboard.

• 12:05Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:06Matt Farah?

  And speaking of like, supercharged engines, I have to say, I've, I've traveled the country a lot. I've never in my entire life, ever, seen more Cadillac Black Wings in one place.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 12:18Matt Farah?

  Than right here.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Well chosen by everybody.

• 12:22Matt Farah?

  There's like, three inside, there's like, seven outside. I think there was six at the press launch. I've like, uh, they don't, there's like a seven-year waiting list to get them in California, and now I know why. Y'all motherfuckers need to share.

• 12:38Matt Farah?

  This is fucking bullshit. We need some allocations. I'll trade you a GT3. I got it.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  We have a lot of those.

• 12:45Matt Farah?

  No takers. Nobody in Texas wants to do it.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  I think the supercharged engine, the Cadillac in California, you have to dros it like a handgun. They're like, "You need to wait 10 days and follow this paperwork. We're not sure about this thing." Cadillac's doing everything that BMW should do.

• 12:56Matt Farah?

  Right? I wrote that last year for Road and Track. Thank you for quoting my thesis.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Well, that's, yes, quote around that. Do you think, uh, that Cadillac stole the Germans from BMW like?

• 13:06Matt Farah?

  Oh, wait, hang on. Just stop right there. Anyone, uh, know 1946? What?

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Like Operation Paperclip, but it's like, Operation Endlink or something?

• 13:15Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 13:17Matt Farah?

  Listen guys, um, I know what you done. I'm gonna overlook that. Can you tell me how to corner? Uh, because we're really struggling and I will sell my soul.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  You know, we thought we got close with the Catarra. I gotta tell you what, but it's not really keeping up.

• 13:37Matt Farah?

  It zigged, you know?

• 13:38Speaker 01

  It zigged, yeah. It didn't zig halt, don't say that guys, but it did zig. So we, we were wondering if you guys would come down to the factory and show us how to turn and we'll just erase the whole thing.

• 13:50Matt Farah?

  Why was my GM employee such a redneck? Oh, he worked at Bowling Green, that's why. He built Corvettes. My guy built, my character, you just didn't know the background story of my character who worked on the line in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Now you guys know and my accent retroactively makes sense.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Like fuel economy standards. Retroactively, it's all good.

• 14:14Matt Farah?

  100%. Uh, did you guys see that yesterday Tesla opened a diner in LA? Did you see the Tesla diner? You guys think they're gonna be good at making food there? Guys, we gotta take one quick break from the action for HelloFresh and I absolutely love HelloFresh. People can love HelloFresh for different reasons, right? HelloFresh could really save you time if you're tired of wasting time going to the grocery store. Uh, HelloFresh can save you efficiency in your shopping if you don't wanna buy oversized portions of spices and ingredients only to make a small meal for you or you and one other person. It cuts down on waste. HelloFresh is a variety.

• 14:57Matt Farah?

  Maybe you get into a rut and want to eat different things all the time and HelloFresh can do that. I love HelloFresh because I love to cook and I don't always love to shop and I don't always love the process of trying to figure out what to make, uh, that gets me out of my sort of 10 go-to habits, you know? And HelloFresh, it makes it easier to fix, to fit quick, home-cooked meals into my schedule every week by curating those recipes and then sending the ingredients right to my door. Stuff like panko crusted chimicherry barramundi or sun-dried tomato grilled cheese sandoz, as well as all of these seasonal snacks, sides and treats, right? I like it because...

• 15:40Matt Farah?

  They send me all these recipes that I've chosen from their chef selections on their website. And then I keep the recipe card. That way, if I want to make this delicious thing for more people than just me and my wife later, then I have that recipe and I can always go back to it. I'm always trying to cook new things and learning new techniques, new flavoring techniques. And stuff can be ready in just three minutes sometimes for the new ready-made meals. Or if you want to cook it, typically 30 minutes, sometimes a little more. But every HelloFresh meal uses high-quality ingredients, including seasonal fresh produce, proteins that travel from the farm to your doorstep,

• 16:21Matt Farah?

  and are simple with easy-to-follow recipe cards or simple heat 'em and eat 'em options. Choose from 60 recipes every week, including prep and bake and ready-made. And plus 100, oh, sorry. And there's 100-plus market items to add on for breakfast, lunch, and more. It's delivered right to your doorstep and so flexible, you can pause or skip whenever you need. So make your summer enjoyable and delicious by signing up for HelloFresh at hellofresh.com/slash, ready? Smoking Tire 10 FM, right? Hellofresh.com/slash Smoking Tire 10 FM.

• 17:03Matt Farah?

  And get 10 free meals with a free item for life. That's hellofresh.com/slash Smoking Tire 10 FM for 10 free meals and a free item in every box. Hellofresh.com/slash Smoking Tire 10 FM. One per box with active subscription. Free meals are applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. And now, back to the show. Making food, like making food, because I'm friends with some chefs. Making food requires you to do the same somewhat simple but very tedious task over and over and over, thousands of times, exactly the same.

• 17:46Matt Farah?

  Is Tesla good at those things? Huh. Wonder if their burgers will taste good? Or if I'll get E. coli?

• 17:56Matt Farah?

  No, they're using AI to... What you do is you order from your car, right? As you're driving to the diner. You can order through your car, because that's good for Americans. You order through your car, definitely, just let's streamline the food into our bellies as fast as possible. And then, and then, they have an AI, because of course they do, it's probably Grok, takes your order, confirms that white genocide is real in South Africa, and then submits your order to the fry cooks, which are probably badly programmed robots, that then make your food, not in order it was received, but in the order that it thinks you will arrive at the restaurant.

• 18:41Matt Farah?

  So that's kind of an interesting...

• 18:43Speaker 01

  But what I'm confused at is that they have a huge screen there. If you guys have seen the pictures, or, you know, if I zoom, go down here, they've got like a drive-in movie theater thing. But also, a restaurant needs to turn tables.

• 18:52Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  That's how you make the money.

• 18:54Matt Farah?

  Right.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  So I don't know if they're gonna charge you to sit there and watch the movie, that they're probably gonna show like, "Birth of a Nation" over and over again, or something. And then, and then, or do they want you to get the burger, get the fries, and get out of there?

• 19:06Matt Farah?

  There, no, it's a bait and switch, right? It's a thing that's designed to make it look like you should want to hang out, but behind the scenes, everything about it is designed to move you in and out of it as fast as possible. Which, look, is not inherently a bad thing. Look, if Tesla wants to build fucking diners, instead of like, selling fake software to everybody, like, great, make burgers. Like, okay, hopefully, nobody gets botulism. Or, but, but, uh, it's just, it's an interesting sort of idea that stay and hang out at this experience, but also, like, let's most efficiently get you in and out of this place as quickly as possible.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, the restaurant industry has a 60% fail rate, and 80% close within the first five... I was wondering what's harder, like, building a rocket that goes to space, or trying to run a restaurant?

• 19:56Matt Farah?

  The craziest thing about the stupid Tesla diner is whoever does the PR for it, which is, I guess, nobody, because Tesla doesn't have PR.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  It's Grok.

• 20:03Matt Farah?

  Uh, it's Grok, definitely Grok. It said, "We're open 24/7, forever." Forever in the restaurant business is one hell of a fucking shot call, isn't it? I mean... Literally, you have 100% failure rate on that. Good luck. Good luck making forever. And one of many predictions that will not come true from that company. Thank you very much. Okay, let's do some things more fun than crap on Tesla's food preparation. Zach and I had an idea that we would come to your city and judge you. We thought you'd like that. We thought you guys would be like masochists and would like us to come here and make fun of you. So first, we're gonna start by making fun of you in like a charming way, because we're

• 20:47Matt Farah?

  gonna have a little competition between each other to see who could spend a million dollars on the most Houston, Texas garage better. Okay, and you guys, you guys get to vote- Don't jump ahead, audience. You guys get to vote on who- Matt hasn't seen my list yet. Who correctly, we haven't seen each other's lists. I don't know if we have visuals for all of it, because Zach normally would get visuals for things I'm doing this, but, but, uh, who came up, who assessed your city from a car perspective better, having not really been here that much? Okay? I don't think we need to go back and forth. I think we need to share the five-car garage in total- Sure.

• 21:29Matt Farah?

  Uh, for a million dollars. This is Richie Richland, obviously. We don't all have a million dollars to spend, at least, most of you don't.

• 21:38Matt Farah?

  Fuck it, nah, fuck it, fuck it.

• 21:44Matt Farah?

  This man up front with the Rolex is not laughing.

• 21:50Matt Farah?

  Sup, Habibi? I see your gold, Habibi. He's like, "I designed the robot dogs that will chase you home." "Remind me of the homeland."

• 21:59Matt Farah?

  Uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make Zach go first. All right. And everyone can listen and, and process, and then we'll do a vote and see who had the better Houston, Texas garage. Zach's five-car, million-dollar Houston collection, please. All right, the program just crashed, so that's a great sign. Okay.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Here we go. And let me, I got a lot of screens here.

• 22:21Matt Farah?

  Oh dude.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Okay, slabs. Houston created the slab, I think. It's their lowrider, it's kind of awesome, it's also crazy, it's dangerous, for sure.

• 22:31Matt Farah?

  Wide boy.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  So.

• 22:33Matt Farah?

  Wide boy.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Back in the 80s, the longer the slab, the better, like 24 inches was the game. Uh, they called them dead man's wheels, because people would shoot you for them, and they'd break. So now they're, now they're made-

• 22:44Matt Farah?

  I'm sorry, that's why it's called a dead man wheel? Not because if you're like, anywhere near the car, you just die?

• 22:50Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:50Matt Farah?

  Nobody put that shit together?

• 22:52Speaker 01

  Manufacturers don't worry about pedestrians, you worry about the driver.

• 22:55Matt Farah?

  Habibi, the sidewalk ain't safe.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  This is why the Cybertruck is so safe.

• 23:00Matt Farah?

  This is, I mean, look, respect the style, move on, though.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Look how long, that is amazing.

• 23:07Matt Farah?

  But, all I'm saying is, watch your knees.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Alright, so, people, people build slabs with new cars, they build slabs with old cars. I like the style of the old cars better. There's also-

• 23:18Matt Farah?

  That fucking caddy rules.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Isn't that sick? You got way more bright work on the new, the new stuff is like, all painted, the old stuff, you have a lot of chrome, matches the chrome.

• 23:26Matt Farah?

  But, I must digress. This motherfucker has about four and a half hood ornaments on here. And sometime-

• 23:34Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 23:34Matt Farah?

  You guys know somebody that almost specs out a car perfectly, and then does one mod too far? Fuck. That's so disappointing when that happens, it's like, bitch, your taste was so close-

• 23:48Speaker 01

  So close.

• 23:49Matt Farah?

  But the extra thing you put on is so dumb, that I have to question every decision you made up to that point, and therefore, my own goddamn sanity.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Well, can we say that he has a Cadillac badge below a Cadillac badge, below a Cadillac emblem?

• 24:05Matt Farah?

  Wonder if it's a Cadillac, you guys?

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Is that the spirit of ecstasy from Rolls Royce on the front?

• 24:10Matt Farah?

  No, I actually think that's a Cadillac hood ornament from like the 30s. I think that's some OG shit. But the rest of it is a 10.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  So.

• 24:21Matt Farah?

  Fucking 10.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  One of the games people play is they want to get the most wheels on their car they can, right? So you can do the fifth wheel on the back. Which is, alright, so now you got five wheels, you can do one in the trunk also.

• 24:31Matt Farah?

  Yes!

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Now you got six.

• 24:33Matt Farah?

  No, but no, no, no, no, no, no, Zach Klapman. I think that rear might be a dooley. If that's a space saver, you might be able to dooley that bitch up. No?

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Either way, I'm going way beyond this.

• 24:45Matt Farah?

  They don't play games with the number of wheels, it has to be a full size? Okay, it's gotta be full size.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  You could do, you could do this.

• 24:49Matt Farah?

  Oh my god, I've just had an orgasm. That is a, that is an opera, Seville Opera Coop.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  79 of Seville Opera?

• 24:57Matt Farah?

  If you don't know, you better ax somebody because the Seville Opera Coop is the best looking Cadillac of its generation, and I'll die on that hill.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  I think the proportions are weird, and I also want, I want more slab, I want more wheel.

• 25:11Matt Farah?

  No, you remember, you guys remember like Angry Cat?

• 25:15Matt Farah?

  Oh, this guy.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  The American Dream Limousine.

• 25:18Matt Farah?

  Yes, buddy.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  I think it's 26 wheels.

• 25:20Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Uh, the doors, suicide doors are cool, butterfly doors are cool, whatever the fuck this is, where you can drive a Mini Cooper in the door, that's victory.

• 25:30Matt Farah?

  No, that's the, that's Doc Brown's time travel train door.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Oh, that's true. Helicopter on the back.

• 25:36Matt Farah?

  Fuck yeah, dude.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  It is ridiculous.

• 25:37Matt Farah?

  That is the most crashable helicopter I've ever seen.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Might be kinda cheap right now.

• 25:41Matt Farah?

  That helicopter was like, he wanted to build his own fucking helicopter, I told him not to, I don't know why. We, he took off smiling and that was that, we never saw Dave again.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Imagine like, you can't do anything with this, but you can fit a fuck ton of wheels on it, so that's my first car.

• 25:54Matt Farah?

  This guy who built this, uh, limo. By the way, yours are already way better than mine. Uh, but the guy who built this, the guy who built this limo built some other shit, including I think the world's longest Ferrari limo. Yeah, and then this shit got like abandoned in a field somewhere and a dude rescued it and was supposed to be restoring it, but we haven't heard anything since, uh, because fucking, of course, the guy was probably on meth when he said that. And, I don't know, I'm not, I'm not accusing, I'm just guessing because you'd have to be on meth to buy this thing out of a field and be like, "Yes, I can restore this 26-wheeled thing, worked so well the first time."

• 26:29Speaker 01

  That's probably a guy who has so many project cars, and then he shows up with that and his wife's like, "This is 40 cars at once, and you can't, you like, fix the Carmen Ghia first." All right, car number two, Ford F-150 Tremor. Because you have the world's largest medical center here, right? The TMC, it's the largest one. So I think I could get into dirt biking and they could fix me when I hurt myself.

• 26:52Matt Farah?

  Oh.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  I got a lot of problems, but someone there can do it. But I need a car that can drive me back from the trail because I'm gonna hurt myself. And you can't get Blue Cruise on the F-250 Super Duty. Hence Tremor. I've thought it through.

• 27:07Matt Farah?

  Wow. You went from that limo to this fucking whack-ass pickup?

• 27:13Matt Farah?

  That's so crazy. He went from the craziest shit ever built to like, it's $47.99 with 1.9% APR and a 10-year powertrain warranty.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  How many people here own a pickup truck?

• 27:27Matt Farah?

  Yeah, everybody. Everybody owns a fu-- I get it. I get it.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 27:30Matt Farah?

  I get it.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Half.

• 27:31Matt Farah?

  Y'all beds are clean as fuck, dude.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:34Matt Farah?

  Clean beds. Clean beds.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:38Matt Farah?

  That rubber cap on the two-inch fucking trailer ball attachment, never been taken out. I know. I know.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  All right, next one. Houston calls itself the energy capital of the world. So I think a gas guzzler's a good idea. I want something I could take to your eighth mile track. I want something fast and fun. But I also need to be able to outrun the police when I'm smuggling Plan B pills.

• 27:59Matt Farah?

  Oh, yes.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  So Corvette ZR1.

• 28:05Matt Farah?

  I had that too.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  See me, you did too? See me outside.

• 28:09Matt Farah?

  Mark it.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  All right, unlike Dallas where we're headed next, convertibles are safe here. Yes, that's JFK joke. Sorry, too soon?

• 28:22Matt Farah?

  The Conti.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Too soon?

• 28:23Matt Farah?

  The Conti. Yeah, you can't roll a Conti in Dallas, can you?

• 28:29Speaker 01

  You can't.

• 28:30Matt Farah?

  Not with these kind of ideas.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:36Matt Farah?

  Yeah. They won't have that.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  They won't have that. I mean, obviously, a classic, a classic. And I chose the 63. The interior's better looking than the 64. And this bright work, I think, might reflect the sun into a sniper's eyes. So they probably wouldn't be able to take you out. Maybe, maybe.

• 28:53Matt Farah?

  I love a suicide door, Conti. Is there one of those here at the shop? Matt Bell? No? There's what? Dallas has one, but we'll go visit it tomorrow.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  They have the one, right?

• 29:03Matt Farah?

  Oh, tomorrow, we're gonna have-

• 29:04Speaker 01

  Is that the one you're talking about?

• 29:06Matt Farah?

  No.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  They have the one?

• 29:07Matt Farah?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  No, okay.

• 29:09Matt Farah?

  That, the fucking government has that shit. They're not, that shit ain't out of sight. Someone bought the, the alleged, um, JFK ambulance. There was a controversy over whether it was the real one, because there were three, and it wasn't well documented at the time, which of the three at Dallas, whatever military center it was, actually carried him, but someone did, and, and it was like, it was put in auction, then it was withdrawn, and then it was sold, it was, it was weird, but it was the alleged-

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Unbringer trailer, unrestored, eww.

• 29:44Matt Farah?

  Yeah, well, but have you guys ever seen, uh, it's been on sale forever, the Tupac BMW? You guys ever see that shit? They, they took that shit to a body shop. They fixed it. And now they want a million dollars for it. It's like, eh, the bullet holes were the thing, you fucking asshole!

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, but if you buy it and it rains, if it rains where you live-

• 30:06Matt Farah?

  E38 with ugly wheels, like, what are we doing here? You fucked it up.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  It's like cleaning the dust off the Mars rover, and then, you know, the, huh!

• 30:14Matt Farah?

  Well, you, I mean, you've seen that. You guys ever been, you guys ever been to a place that says, uh, "Original dirt do not touch," or "Original dirt do not wash"? You see that shit at Porsche all the time.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:25Matt Farah?

  If you go to PEC or a Porsche place, it'll be like, you know, the Jackie Ickx, you know, Dakar car, and it'll be like, "Original Dakar dirt, you know, don't wash," and you're like, "All right, man, whatever."

• 30:38Speaker 01

  It's kinda cool, but you could fake it so easily.

• 30:40Matt Farah?

  It's about your day, like, whatever.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  You could just throw dirt on it. All right, my last one is, uh, I want something to take to the track. You guys have some private tracks out here, and I also think the track is a place I could hide my love of foreigners, so I would go Lotus Exige S, 2007, reliable, I probably can't break it unless I crash it. If Lotus goes out of business, I'd be really fucked on the repairs, but, uh, yeah.

• 31:04Matt Farah?

  This is supposed to be cars that fit in Texas, not cars that you just wanna buy.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  That's just this one. The other four are embedded in Houston, I feel like. So that's my list.

• 31:14Matt Farah?

  So that's, so Zach's, Zach's five. Give us the quick, the quick review again of the five.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Okay, Super Limousine.

• 31:21Matt Farah?

  The Super Limousine.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Ford F-150 Tremor, Corvette ZR1, the 63 Lincoln Continental, and the 2007 Lotus Exige S.

• 31:33Matt Farah?

  All right, well Zach's are funnier because there was JFK jokes in there.

• 31:37Matt Farah?

  We have two overlaps as a matter of fact. The ZR1 is an overlap and the slab. I didn't have a specific slab, but I budgeted 200 Gs for a slab. That sounds like that'll get me about the nicest slab around, right? It's fucking fake money anyway, so yeah, of course it's 200,000. Why wouldn't it be? All right, so that's two.

• 31:58Matt Farah?

  Zach picked a weenie truck. I said Raptor R. Okay, Raptor R. Yeah, okay, everyone, yeah, I see, I'm better at this.

• 32:08Matt Farah?

  I also said Cadillac Escalade V.

• 32:14Matt Farah?

  See, I am better at this, yeah, okay. And last, but certainly not least, Twin Turbo Viper, Calvo Motorsports.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 32:22Matt Farah?

  2000 horsepower? That's about the most Texas shit I ever driven in my life. Yep. So yeah, my list would be Raptor R, Twin Turbo Viper, ZR1, Escalade V, and the slab. All right, so wasteful. My man up front in the front row, yeah. Burning gas.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  Where is Texas 2000, whatever that crazy freeway racing thing? Is that based here?

• 32:44Matt Farah?

  TX2K.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  TX2K. Is that here-ish? It's in Ennis, right? Oh, they do it Hennessy? Oh, okay. They used to just do it on the freeway, right?

• 32:54Matt Farah?

  It's in the middle of...

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:57Matt Farah?

  Officially, they race on drag strips, but it's like all about the money racing later, right? That's like the thing? Cool. I'm down with that. Okay. Texas cars are crazy. You can always tell in California when a when a car has been in Texas, because that's like 1,800 horsepower and stock brakes. Yes. Y'all, y'all don't need to slow down very, you can, you can just fucking ride out. You fucking hit that race and then you go, you put it in six, coast it down, it's all good. They just coast across the state. There's no, there is absolutely nothing in between stock brakes and parachute here. That's true.

• 33:37Matt Farah?

  Fucking difference. As a matter of fact, I, on the plane, was reading the TX 2K rules and regulations. That last bit, I didn't make that shit up. There is no regulation on upgrading your brakes, but at 200, you better have a parachute. Cool. Yeah, just rear brake only, keep it light. Okay, so, not show of hands, because this is a radio show, I think. Round of applause. Who thinks Zach assessed your car culture better?

• 34:11Matt Farah?

  What? Okay, okay. For your taste, that's what we're saying. Who think, who thinks yours truly understands what Houston cars are about?

• 34:23Matt Farah?

  Well, I think that was an obvious win for your boy. That was obvious, you bunch of traitors. It was obvious, fucking traitors, you. Well, I mean, should we, should we? Yeah. Should we make fun of their cars? Yeah, let's do that. I think we should. I, I think, because we, we asked some people to submit some cars, but also, while Christian was on, we scoped the parking lot for some stuff, too. And so, some of y'all volunteered to have your cars roasted tonight, and others didn't. But in order to make fun of your cars properly, let's invite Christian James Hand back up with us, because nobody talks shit like an Englishman.

• 35:07Matt Farah?

  Come on Habibi. Let's go. We did we, uh, this was how we marked his mic, but we don't need it anymore. Right! Oh, boy. Is this how you organize your life, Zach Flattman? This is cars that just, yeah. Uh, thank you guys for sending us your cars.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 35:23Matt Farah?

  Um, oh, good, Christian can see, uh, can see Zach's screen too.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:27Matt Farah?

  Alright, let's start with some cars that were sent to us. Uh, there was some, there were some really good ones. And, uh, Zach, do you, uh, do you have a car for us? Let's see what we've got first. Let's go to your pictures. Oh, these are ones I found in the parking lot that I think are spectacular. Do you wanna go to theirs first?

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Fuck yeah, no, that's a win.

• 35:46Matt Farah?

  Please raise your hand if you are the owner of the nine-deuce Camry wagon in Jewish racing gold.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Sick!

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Sick. That might be best in the show.

• 35:58Matt Farah?

  Bro. Best in motherfucking show.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. Jewish racing gold.

• 36:04Matt Farah?

  Look how nice this car is, you guys!

• 36:06Speaker 02

  Sharing.

• 36:07Matt Farah?

  Alright, what's your name, bro? Drew. Okay, Drew, did you actively pursue this car? Did someone in your family die and you got it by default?

• 36:18Matt Farah?

  You actively pursued, is it a 92? 93 Camry wagon in the best color, as I said, Jewish racing gold. And it's, it is, this is a preservation class car, is it not, Drew?

• 36:32Matt Farah?

  How many miles are on it?

• 36:35Matt Farah?

  109,000?

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Sweet.

• 36:36Matt Farah?

  Shit ain't even broken, yeah!

• 36:38Speaker 02

  No, dude, you're just starting to get the best out of it.

• 36:40Matt Farah?

  Dude, if I had been issued this at Enterprise today, I would not have insisted for a Pacifico.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  We'd have, we'd have asked how much.

• 36:49Matt Farah?

  We would have been rolling to Dallas. This, what did you pay for this amazing specimen of a Camry? If you don't mind sharing, Drew. $6,500? All day, every day.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 36:59Matt Farah?

  Right?

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Golden.

• 37:01Matt Farah?

  Well bought, literally golden.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, literally.

• 37:03Matt Farah?

  That's great, that will cost you... It's got a greenhouse like a hearse. Yeah!

• 37:07Speaker 02

  Dude, that back end is so poorly designed, it is epic.

• 37:10Matt Farah?

  Yes.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  Well done.

• 37:12Matt Farah?

  They thought about that later.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were like, nah, fuck it. What do we got lying around?

• 37:16Speaker 01

  It looks like the rear window's upside down. You know, like.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's the opposite of the Heinz Field kink or whatever that thing was called?

• 37:24Matt Farah?

  Guys, we can reuse the back of the rear window from the Sienna.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  It's amazing.

• 37:29Matt Farah?

  Crazy. Oh, wow. God, this was, this was my, these were my champ.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's best in show.

• 37:34Matt Farah?

  This is possibly the most, even more so than the Lexus LS400, the most unkillable car of all time, but like, damn, if you never see a nice one. We had to start with that. That's the best shit ever.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, look.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  You sent that picture.

• 37:48Matt Farah?

  Yeah, with the rainbow at the end of the rainbow.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  It's a pot of Jewish gold at the end of the rainbow.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Who's Patrick McCoy? Roast my shit till I cry.

• 37:57Matt Farah?

  Ooh, so this is a big boy. It's a big boy Land Cruiser. It is. This thing has got, it's got a snorkel, which I think.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Do you need it? Where are you, Patrick?

• 38:09Matt Farah?

  Where are you, Patrick?

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Have you used the snorkel? Have you gone, have you had water go over the hood yet?

• 38:14Matt Farah?

  You haven't. Is it just a style thing? It's a vibe?

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a vibe.

• 38:18Matt Farah?

  Yeah, it's okay.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Does it have a little ladder on the back of it?

• 38:21Speaker 01

  A widow wadda?

• 38:23Speaker 02

  No widow wadda on the back of it. You're, you've saved yourself. That could have been a lot worse.

• 38:29Matt Farah?

  Do you go off-roading though, Patrick? You do go off-roading? Okay. Look, I'm not gonna lie. This is a nice looking truck.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not bad.

• 38:36Matt Farah?

  Straight up, that's a nice looking truck. But yeah, you're, you, that snorkel is for sniffing other things.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. Your lesbian girlfriend is stoked.

• 38:47Matt Farah?

  Yeah, that's the problem with the truck. The truck with the snorkel, it's one of those things. It's like driving a super performance Cobra. The first question they ask, the answer is always no, right? Anyone here ever had a replica Cobra or replica GT40 or any one of those, right? They're fun, right? They're a good time, except the only question anyone ever has, the answer is no. And that, you should watch that shit deflate somebody. When they find out your Cobra's not real, you suck after that. You're so lame after that. You're like, no, no, but I spent like 60K on the Roush 427 fucking independent throttle. It makes like 900 horsepower. I'm like, yeah, but it's not real and you're a loser.

• 39:31Matt Farah?

  And like, that's all there is.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  This is how every dad feels when their kid realizes Santa's not real. For a moment, you're just like, I tried so hard, though, and I enjoy it.

• 39:40Matt Farah?

  So same thing with the snorkel. First question, use the snorkel? Nope.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  Nope. It's a vibe. It's a vibe thing.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Does it hurt your gas mileage? Probably.

• 39:48Matt Farah?

  This is the, this, this Instagram photo is the hardest core off-roading he's ever done right now.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's a, that's a garden center. That's a home deco garden center right there.

• 39:58Matt Farah?

  This is the Grand Canyon of Houston. You don't understand.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Your, your biggest mountain is Hippy Hill.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  Parking lot on either side is tarmac.

• 40:07Matt Farah?

  You ever see that Bear Grylls clip? You guys ever see the Bear Grylls clip where he's doing this crazy shit to get over the chasm? But like, a guy goes to the same spot and just walks like 20 feet and walks right around? That's this photo.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:21Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  It's a Subaru Outback traveling through the, the back of it.

• 40:24Matt Farah?

  I recognize this. This is behind our hotel across the street.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:31Matt Farah?

  Lovely truck back.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Lovely couple named Susan and Judy drove behind him, like, you're in the way.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  Excuse me.

• 40:37Matt Farah?

  Dude, this is the kind of-

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Closer I am to find, what are you doing?

• 40:41Matt Farah?

  This is exactly the kind of off-roading where you've put new shocks and tires on your truck. And you're like, yeah, I'm gonna test them out. The trail won't be too much, but you know, it'll be cool. It'll be fun. It'll be the thing. You get like 25 miles out there and, and your girl is like sick. And there's like six Mexicans in a Jetta. Like, bottomed out on that same trail. Them fucking tires are at like 95 PSI, dude, fucking laid out, just fucking, fucking going. And that's their commute.

• 41:15Matt Farah?

  Dude, you fucking guys, that's crazy. Oh, look at that photo, though. There you go.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a-

• 41:21Matt Farah?

  Shutter speed. Hmm. Hope you got that ceramic coating, because you just got, they dumped, you know, they fucking dumped the toilets right at that port. Right there. It's right before the runways. That's a, all right, Captain, you're clear.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  You're in the blue train.

• 41:34Matt Farah?

  Is that a Land Cruiser? It looks good.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  Wow, wow.

• 41:39Matt Farah?

  A typhoon. Oh, Habibi.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:41Matt Farah?

  It's right here, too. We don't even have to look at the pictures because it's right there. That is a GMC Typhoon. You guys know about the typhoon? Is this a typhoon town? You guys know about the typhoon? So...

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Is that the stock hood of the typhoon, though? Or is that is, that is not?

• 41:55Matt Farah?

  Habibi, Summit Racing is your friend. That is... It is a Ramair. That is, it is Jags or it is Summit. There is nothing in between. These, these cars, okay, in 91, the GMC Cyclone was released, which is the pickup truck version of this. And a creative magazine person drag raced it against the Ferrari 348 TB, which is actually quite a lovely car, but it has no torque and it has a dog leg 1-2 shift. And, and so they drag raced it and in a 0-60, the Cyclone beat it by like 3/10ths.

• 42:35Matt Farah?

  And it was on the cover, like, "Holy shit, you guys, the general has built a truck that goes faster than a Ferrari." And that was true... We beat Italy again. Yeah, yeah. And, and that was true if the race was like 800 feet long. And if you look at the quarter mile results, the Ferrari won by a second. So, in that same story, where the, the Cyclone was declared the winner. Having said that, just like the Grand National, the Typhoon, the hardtop version and the Cyclone are all attitude. It's just attitude. How black can it be? How mean looking can it be?

• 43:18Matt Farah?

  It's a, it's a 99 points of attitude and one point of actual substance. And so, the Typhoon and the Cyclone are steaming piles of shit to drive. I mean, they are fucking the trashest trash that is, I mean, you can't believe what a fucking shitbox that is to drive. I tried to do a goofy bit once where we compared one to an Urus Portofamante, and it was like, "Oh, Habibi, this is..." It was brutal. But attitude?

• 43:51Speaker 02

  It's all attitude.

• 43:51Matt Farah?

  All day, every day. None more black than that typhoon.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  I do think the hemp sticker on the back is redundant. Like, you're driving a typhoon with full tint. They know.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And that hood scoop, you're definitely... Yeah, yeah, they're like, ah.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I work in the weed business. Yeah, no shit.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  No shit. Really.

• 44:08Matt Farah?

  I love a typhoon. I will only make fun of it how terrible a typhoon is to drive, because the owner already knows. And because of how awesome it is at everything else, at like, existing. Right? Yeah. Yeah, it's alright. Shout out, who owns that typhoon? Is it here? Yeah, of course. Yeah, you look like... Oh, you're wearing a shirt that says hemp.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  A hemp motorsport shirt.

• 44:31Matt Farah?

  Yeah. Yeah. The typhoon is the perfect vehicle if you would like to smoke a L before running the quarter mile.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  I think you have to, don't you? You have to.

• 44:44Matt Farah?

  Ask me how I know. Oh, baby. That's fucking awesome. Was that running about a 17.2?

• 44:52Speaker 02

  18.4.

• 44:53Matt Farah?

  18.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  Without the snorkel.

• 44:54Matt Farah?

  So, there used to be a guy... Any of you guys like drag racing? Did drag racers in here? Anybody? No? Alright, moving on. If you guys don't like it, we don't have to talk about that shit.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  What accountant was driving that BMW? Oh.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Talking about the S8.

• 45:09Matt Farah?

  Zach showed me this photo, and I was like, "Somebody likes getting tied up and beaten with sticks."

• 45:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, because the first photo I showed him was this one, where the entire engine, trans, and exhaust system is out of the vehicle. Probably happens, I don't know, monthly?

• 45:23Speaker 02

  Well, that's why I like the fact that the photo comes with the hood already up.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like... This is how it's spent 90% of its time that I've owned the fucking thing, so, uh...

• 45:32Speaker 01

  This is hard, how it started and how it's going.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  Before and after.

• 45:39Matt Farah?

  Wait, so for the audio at home, people, we're looking at a, uh, what looks to be a, an Audi S8, uh, like a 2000 to 2002 era? 2003 Audi S8? Is it yours? Is it your Audi S8? My condolences.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. Who drove you here?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Check and make.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Waymo?

• 45:57Speaker 02

  I was gonna say the most valuable thing in that photo is the Stanley Cup, I think, isn't it?

• 46:02Matt Farah?

  So, these S8s are actually some of the most lovely cars ever made, when they work, which is never. They are absolutely brutal. Brutal to own, but a treat. It's manual swapped? Oh! Does it work? The manual part worked.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, before it goes in the car.

• 46:20Matt Farah?

  Well, that'll be nice eventually.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  I started watching Ronin on the plane and they get like, I think it's an S6. And it's like, yeah, the only thing an Audi can outrun is a French car. You know, the police are chasing them, they're gonna break down. The Audi's gonna break down about a mile later.

• 46:32Matt Farah?

  We should put that on a T-shirt. Audis can only outrun French cars. That's fucked up. That's a fucked up insult for somebody. Your shit can only outrun a French car is a fucked up thing to say to somebody. Ooh, this was nice. Can we, can the person who has the TE's look good on everything E46 BMW? It's you? Oh wow, it's a gray haired white man too. Holy shit. That's fucking awesome.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  That's a 22 year old man, man.

• 47:01Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  That's what happens when you own a BMW.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  When you own an E46, you age like fruit.

• 47:06Matt Farah?

  He's like, no, I was vaping all the way here, I swear. I was vaping, I was vaping. No, this is a E46 M3 with TE37s in black. I stopped and took this photo and I said, TE's do look good on

• 47:19Speaker 01

  They do.

• 47:19Matt Farah?

  Almost everything. Who, who in the audience would like to provide an example of something that TE's do not look good on? Who's, anyone seen one?

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Trucks.

• 47:29Matt Farah?

  Truck, well, yeah. Except Toyotas. Toyotas are alright. 993? 993 is the right answer. 993 is the singular right answer of TE's don't look good on everything. They look weird as hell on 993s. Don't do it. I'm sorry to the guy out there who listens to this show that has the fucking TE's.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a guy crying right now somewhere.

• 47:52Matt Farah?

  No, no, he's alright, he's alright, he knows.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  He's just, he just opened the box and he's closing the box.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  It's like, son of a bitch.

• 47:59Matt Farah?

  I like that BMW, that's a good, that's a good BMW.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  This Supra is sick.

• 48:03Matt Farah?

  Oh, the Toyota Supra with no wing and what looks like HRE wheels. Is that you? Are they, are those HREs? What are they? Workmeisters, yes, yes, yes. This is a wingless Supra. How much power does this thing make, bro? Mid 5s, is it twins? Mid 5s with a small single.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Mid 5 at the tire or the crank?

• 48:25Matt Farah?

  I, oh, I bet.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  That's the right amount, that's good.

• 48:27Matt Farah?

  That's gotta be a fun time. This is a very beautiful car, sir. There, I don't, I mean, listen, you paid too much for it.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  Well, did you buy it 15 years ago?

• 48:42Matt Farah?

  Guess what you paid?

• 48:42Speaker 01

  When did you buy it?

• 48:47Matt Farah?

  Ooh. Salvage title.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  2015?

• 48:51Matt Farah?

  Guess what you paid? Fifty-five grand.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  Thirty-five.

• 48:54Matt Farah?

  Thirteen thousand dollars? My man, I'm wrong. I apologize.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  You paid just the right amount.

• 49:01Matt Farah?

  You have come the fuck up.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 49:05Matt Farah?

  Wow, look at that. That's a beautiful car.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  That's your Bitcoin.

• 49:08Matt Farah?

  That's all right.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's actually doing better than Bitcoin.

• 49:11Matt Farah?

  That's a beautiful car. Special sidebar shout out to the Matt Black, uh, Blackwing back. Is that you, Matt Black Blackwing? Is that a precision pack? Uh, no, that's a 2.23. Oh. It's the special color.

• 49:25Matt Farah?

  And it's a six-speed? Good for you. That's awesome. Side, side honorable mention.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  It smells like this when I realize that everybody in car culture's on the fucking spectrum. And I don't want to hear any bullshit from anybody about that fucking garbage ever again.

• 49:37Matt Farah?

  Here's how you know.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  Ah, the music guy's got autism. Do I assholes? Now, man, it's a 55, 56 with 1936 splits on the back end of it and you're a fucking...

• 49:49Speaker 02

  What'd you pay for it? Let me smell it. Um, fifty-three grand and I think you missed firing on your third cylinder. Fuck out of here.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Wait till you talk to any Corvette owner. Good lord. Oh, it's only one of 12,000 built on Tuesday. Yeah, it's pretty rare. Do you want to buy it? I'm really underwater.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  It's only one of 12,000 pairs.

• 50:09Matt Farah?

  I really like you. All right, wait, real quick.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  The best creative writing is in a description of a Corvette for sale.

• 50:18Matt Farah?

  Who, does anybody here...

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Oh, this.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  You want this or this?

• 50:21Matt Farah?

  Wait, wait, wait.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  Them are too.

• 50:22Matt Farah?

  Sorry, we'll get to that. Does anybody here have their Instagram handle on their car? Get rid of it.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Immediately. Immediately.

• 50:32Matt Farah?

  A, it's called fucking evidence, homie. And B, it makes you look like a loser. You don't look like a loser in this room. If you're driving a car with your Instagram handle on it, different story.

• 50:46Matt Farah?

  You seem nice. I'm trying to help.

• 50:49Matt Farah?

  This.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  This is sweet.

• 50:51Matt Farah?

  Whose car is this? This, it's yours?

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Does it have your fucking Instagram handle on it?

• 50:57Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Oh, you douchebag. You lose 5,000 for, there it is!

• 51:04Speaker 01

  Wait, how do I get over there? Flying, oh fuck. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Yes! You suck. Give me the fucking keys.

• 51:16Matt Farah?

  Oh shit.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  I'm driving that back to LA. You don't deserve that car.

• 51:20Matt Farah?

  For this offense, I'm repossessing your car.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:23Matt Farah?

  Tell, this MR2 is fucking sick dude.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 51:26Matt Farah?

  It has a like F40 style wheels on it. Does it go really fast?

• 51:32Matt Farah?

  300 to the wheels. Is it that Japanese motor swap? It's a V6. What minivan? A Sienna? A Sienna V6? Fuck yeah!

• 51:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. Take the fucking Instagram handle off your cool car, dude.

• 51:48Matt Farah?

  Oh wow, that's superior. Okay, you deserve it.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Your front, your Toyota Ferrari fonted thing in the front is awesome and really clever and then you go around the side and you go, oh, fuck that guy.

• 51:58Matt Farah?

  You guys heard it. What I say before, one mod too far, right?

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, there it is. Take one mod off before you leave the house.

• 52:05Matt Farah?

  That was the one. The rest of it, no fucking notes.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  I saw this guy driving around when I was, when I thought it'd be a good idea to stand outside the fucking Starbucks and I realized that this is the only place I've ever been when the wind blows and it gets hotter. And I was like, what the fuck is this experience? But this guy drove through the parking lot and that bike is sick.

• 52:23Matt Farah?

  Yeah. I think it came in a trailer, but it still looks really cool. Whose bike, whose bike is this? This green thing. What is the story on this thing?

• 52:35Matt Farah?

  A 1993 BMW R100 that's like super backdated to like 60's cafe racer kind of thing?

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Looks awesome.

• 52:43Matt Farah?

  It looks really, really good.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Sounded great too, had a good fucking-

• 52:45Matt Farah?

  Do you have a shop that built this? Your shop, what's it called? 72 Performance here in Houston? Wow.

• 52:58Matt Farah?

  Best of the best hand-built motorcycle where at Broadmoor?

• 53:02Matt Farah?

  Rob report? Oh, cool.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  It looks like a singer version of a BMW motorcycle.

• 53:07Matt Farah?

  Absolutely gorgeous motorcycle. That's fabulous.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  And you'll notice, no Instagram handle anywhere to be seen on said motorcycle.

• 53:16Matt Farah?

  They don't give best of the best to that fucking shit, let me tell you. Yeah. No, this is fabulous. Very nicely done, sir. Okay, so those are, them cars are all here. Those are ones I took a lap and I found outside. You guys sent some other ones in?

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Sure, we got more.

• 53:33Matt Farah?

  Let's take a look at one or two more before we...

• 53:36Speaker 01

  Is that?

• 53:37Speaker 02

  Is that yours?

• 53:40Speaker 01

  I understand why I lost the contest now.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's about to get ugly.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  I'm also not wrong, it's a F-150.

• 53:45Matt Farah?

  No, that wasn't the right one.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  No, I'm just hitting the ones that are selected.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  That's yours?

• 53:50Matt Farah?

  That's yours? Yeah, it's boring, sorry.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want something boring.

• 53:55Matt Farah?

  No, we had...

• 53:56Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 53:57Matt Farah?

  There's a what?

• 54:00Matt Farah?

  Oh, okay. Now this one right here.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Wait, is that a... You mean like a Porsche? Wow! Never seen one of those.

• 54:08Matt Farah?

  So...

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Hold on.

• 54:10Matt Farah?

  This is all right.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  They are good. I'm from California, it's 2011. Sorry. This, because this, this has a story, sir.

• 54:18Matt Farah?

  This is what I'm talking about. Does anyone, is this anyone's here? It's yours? Yeah, do you get stopped by ICE driving this?

• 54:28Speaker 01

  Did you find this in a Home Depot parking lot and it was abandoned? You're like, "Oh, free car." So, the story is like, "You're 15 or you fixed it?"

• 54:38Matt Farah?

  You're fixing it?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  That's awesome. Dude, that's super cool.

• 54:40Matt Farah?

  Do you have some kind of shady-ass farm equipment license to let you drive this thing on the street? No? It's not drivable, okay. No brakes? Ah, it's great. That's not a problem for some people. That's Texas for you, Eddie. That's, that's, yeah. You see a problem, I see an opportunity.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  You go parachute. This is awesome.

• 55:03Matt Farah?

  This is alright, yeah. That hood patina needs to stay.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  It will not, you can't get rid of it, trust me. My Miata looked like that.

• 55:10Matt Farah?

  This is, this, this and the cockroaches at the end, this is it, yes, for sure, for sure. Let's do one more. Full on mass murder. And then let's hit the barrio.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  What do we not?

• 55:20Matt Farah?

  Cause Michael, that's how we judge the time of the show. When my glass is empty. Yo, a Collection?

• 55:25Speaker 01

  Oh, we already talked about this person, sorry.

• 55:27Matt Farah?

  Did we? Oh, that's their Supra. Is it also, those are your other shits?

• 55:32Matt Farah?

  They're all 93? Were you born in 93? Birth year cars. Respect. That's a good photo, I like that. That's alright. Birth year cars. It sucks to be born in 81 and try to have birth year cars. There, there wasn't fucking nothing.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  I roasted you, sorry.

• 55:49Matt Farah?

  We've already done that, Zach. Zach, what are we doing? We're gonna have to cut this. Oh, hello. Little 993, that one's parked right over there in that photo studio. Is that you, pointing at it? That's yours? Alright, that's a beautiful little 993. Is there anything done to it? Is it modified?

• 56:09Matt Farah?

  Okay, suspension, dry ice. Oh, you're the dry ice guy? Oh, you gotta get, you gotta work the fucking dry ice. Yeah, yeah, of course.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  So, so that's why dry ice is expensive.

• 56:19Matt Farah?

  You guys heard of the dry ice? The dry ice is the best fucking thing ever. How much is it? $7,500. What the fuck? Yeah, I respect the dry ice, that's okay. I like that 993, that's beautiful. Oh, now we're talking. I can smell the inside of this car. This is... Wow. This, it's, it's a mixture of watermelon vape, Axe, and Maguire's leather conditioner is the, is the inside of this car.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  The leather conditioner for sure.

• 56:54Matt Farah?

  Right. Well, it's very important. It's badged Australian. It's very important. You know, this car was engineered in Australia.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  G'day, my.

• 57:00Matt Farah?

  Did you guys know that this car that looks just like every fucking car America's ever made was designed and engineered in Australia?

• 57:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:08Matt Farah?

  Not America.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  It's a fucking Holden.

• 57:11Matt Farah?

  It's a fucking Holden.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  This is the kind of immigrant we're okay with. I just want, the paperwork was done. We like it. It is the right thing.

• 57:20Matt Farah?

  They were criminals. That's why they were there.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 57:23Matt Farah?

  They were literally criminals.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  That's right. They're just a different kind.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  They're the good kind.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Please don't shoot me after the show.

• 57:30Matt Farah?

  What kind? Oh, okay. Cool.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Everybody's got a gun but me.

• 57:33Matt Farah?

  Yeah, you gotta badge your, you gotta badge your Pontiac like a Holden dude.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  I love these cars though.

• 57:38Matt Farah?

  Well, because what happens, right? Pontiac is dead. Ponti- imagine, one day you're driving a Pontiac. The next day they go, "We're shutting down Pontiac." And you go, "But I have a date Thursday." She's gonna know I'm driving some shit that's from a company that doesn't exist anymore.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Re-badge it.

• 57:56Matt Farah?

  They fucking losers, dude. I know. It's a Holden. It's imported. It's exotic.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:03Matt Farah?

  It's not from here. You had to try to get this. I had to sneak it in. I'm a spy. Yeah, spin that negative into a positive, baby.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  Faraday Future's gonna do that real soon. I know I keep talking about them, but they, they need to re-badge it.

• 58:17Matt Farah?

  Did you guys see the Far- the new Faraday Future minivan with the screen on the front of it?

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Oh, it's so stupid.

• 58:22Matt Farah?

  It's fucking crazy.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  I'm over. Oh, this thing.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Last one.

• 58:26Matt Farah?

  This is the last one. This is hot boy shit right here. Is this, is the owner of this particular S2000, it's you again?

• 58:34Speaker 02

  What, what is going on?

• 58:35Speaker 01

  Dry icing is so expensive.

• 58:37Matt Farah?

  I really respect how much dry ice work has gone into this.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  I gotta go into the dry ice building.

• 58:41Matt Farah?

  S2000. You know, it came from northern Michigan. It was very, it was very corroded under there, but I really brought it back with my dry ice process. This is all right. Also, TE's look good on everything, right? Pretty much, almost everything. It's got the hard tops, it's got the louvers.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  This car is awesome. Do you track it a lot? Because for people listening, you have hood vents, a wing that could, you know, put on a 737. You got everything on here. Do you track it?

• 59:06Matt Farah?

  Tracks it.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  That's, that's pretty good.

• 59:09Matt Farah?

  Two times a year.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  That's not bad.

• 59:10Matt Farah?

  Regular people who frankly are so booked with their dry ice business, they don't even know. I don't have time for it. I don't even know if I can get you in. Yeah, man. I mean, honestly, you want to talk about price, but the favor is actually getting you in right now. I got, I'm booked out in months. I can't even go to the track with my S2000 because the dry ice business is so crazy. It's so crazy.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  There's just so much cash in front of the door. I just can't get out of the door to go to the track.

• 59:36Matt Farah?

  Burying it in track cars. It's like El Chapo where it's like behind the walls.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  You're just like.

• 59:40Matt Farah?

  Cash is a colossus. The rats are eating the cash. What if we put ice cubes in a leaf blower? I think we could charge a lot of money. His lady's like, wait a minute, are you rich?

• 59:51Matt Farah?

  Wait a fucking minute. You're fucking holding out on me?

• 59:57Speaker 01

  All right.

• 59:58Matt Farah?

  Houston, we love you. Thank you guys for entertaining us tonight. Thank you for coming out. Thank you for respecting one of my best friends, Christian James Hand. Thank you, everybody.