Your Dad’s House w/ Ryan Sickler | Your Mom's House Ep. 872

SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Go to https://helixsleep.com/ymh for 20% Off Sitewide For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/YMH For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at https://Mengotomars.com. Well, Tom is back in the Mommy Dome for the first time since the news, and longtime friend Ryan Sickler is in the chair with him. Tom addresses the divorce head-on: why he and Christina have been recording separately for months, getting the TMZ call, and why nobody "made" Christina go first. He also opens up about the state of his DMs, which include a kindergarten teacher looking to "help each other out" and Ryan's own mother, who, Ryan promises, means Tom can get dicked down in Delaware any time. Tom then opens the show with a dude declaring that anyone who doesn't drink their coffee black is gay, which sends Tom and Ryan into the world of men fighting the internet: a guy debunking AI edits of himself kissing dudes, Daddy Lalogon begging TikTok to stop calling him daddy, and Pastor Manning back at the pulpit with a fresh "get a job" sermon (plus the Suede remix) while the guys debate how many people are actually in that church. Tom also pitches Ryan on the next dads-and-kids trip: a family resort in the Philippines where the giant Hulk statue's fully detailed dick doubles as a pool fountain, and the owner cannot stop posting slow-tilt reveals of it. Tom develops a whole theory about the man's artistic vision and wants to send a YMH field team to get more details. They also spiral into junkyard Instagram where a guy solving car problems with half-sticks of dynamite and another launching full propane tanks out of a cannon. Plus some horrible or hilarious clips and a debate about Catholicism for the ages. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 872 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:00:19 - Tom Addresses The Divorce00:11:04 - Opening Clip: Milk In Your Coffee00:17:06 - Not Gay It's AI00:23:18 - Sickler Meets Pastor Manning00:35:37 - Summer Trip & Guys Blowing Shit Up Online00:47:30 - The Hulk Is Packing01:00:19 - Clip: Relapse Blame01:01:00 - Horrible Or Hilarious01:07:50 - Battle With Catholicism01:16:10 - Crashing Zoom Meetings01:19:41 - Ryan Sickler's Special01:22:15 - Closing Song - "Daddy Lalogon" by Stoner Stag Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:11Tom Segura?

  All right, um, we are back and uh, this is my first podcast here in a while. I know that a lot of people obviously uh, heard the news and saw last week's episode. Where Christina hosted it and um, I don't feel a need to like, say a lot to people. But um, it bothered me that a lot of people were like, oh, I can't believe you um, would make her go address this alone. Or like, do this on her own, you know, which um, which couldn't be further from the truth.

• 0:54Tom Segura?

  The truth is that like um, we have been recording separate episodes for a long time now. Because everything that people know is um, is not new to us. It's, you know, it's been many, many months. Um, so this is not like, brand new to us. It's new, I guess.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Wait, you guys didn't just decide that day to get a divorce and tell the world?

• 1:18Tom Segura?

  That wasn't that day. Yeah, it wasn't that day.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Here, the whole time I'm thinking, man.

• 1:23Tom Segura?

  This happened today.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  This just happened. Yeah. A big life decision like that. I'm like, take it to the internet.

• 1:29Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it was um, it was many months and um, and we record separately. So, her episode was first after our return, so she addressed it first. It was never like, hey, you go handle this, you know, it was just kind of the, the timing of how that worked. And we both decided to record separately. That's just what we're doing.

• 1:54Tom Segura?

  It's been hor- it's a horrible experience. So, I just wanted to, to let people know it's uh, privately, it's horrible. It's a long, it's a long experience. It's emotionally a roller coaster. You uh, your emotions change often many times in a day. If anyone's ever been through it or knows anyone, it's like, it's not, you don't feel the same all the time. And um, it's really tough on you. Um, like personally, it's really tough. Going, having it be public is um, it's awful. You know, I can only tell you that it's awful.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  I mean, when I see, you know, you're Tom and Christina from back in the day to me, still as well.

• 2:35Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Video games till 5 o'clock in the morning, I gotta call in sick. You guys are in that little shanty out back of that dude's house in Redondo and Christina's inviting me over for real meals.

• 2:47Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  I'm dodging bullets on Carondelet just to come over and say hi and see John Goodman above the toilet.

• 2:53Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  It breaks my heart. This is my first real divorce. I don't want to make this about me. My parents were divorced, but man, when my dad divorced my mom, we were like, fuck yeah, this one's really tough for me right here. I'm really torn on this one.

• 3:05Tom Segura?

  I know, man. It's uh, it's.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  It's tough here.

• 3:08Tom Segura?

  It's been tou- it's been really tough. It's been really tough and um.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  To see it on TMZ, just ugh.

• 3:15Tom Segura?

  It's so, it's terrible, man.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  And they keep using fat pictures of you on purpose.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Which I do kinda like.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Hey, keep putting the fat with you up, bro. There's a library out there, somebody's got out there.

• 3:35Tom Segura?

  I'll tell you too, it's like, we wanted, we, we wanted to, to be private. Like, that's how we were handling everything, right? It's like a private matter. And the day you get a phone call from your publicist going, hey TMZ's uh, has like, got wind of this and they're gonna run a story. You're like, what?

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Can I be honest?

• 3:54Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  I was hoping you guys did that old, who's the rat in the bunch trick? Where you told everyone, your people in your inner circle, you were getting a divorce and you really weren't? And then it went to TMZ and you'd be able to figure out who that fucking person was.

• 4:08Tom Segura?

  No, it wasn't like that.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, obviously, it's not.

• 4:10Tom Segura?

  So, I'll just say that it's um, it's very hard. And uh, I personally am not somebody who has, is the type of person that's like, let me be an open book about life. My li- my private life. Some people are. I actually feel like, you know, you're more of that, like, you'll share things. You're like, and there's people that are, like, that's their skill set even, that they open up about everything. I've never been that guy.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Trauma based for me. No, I wouldn't call it a skill set.

• 4:37Tom Segura?

  Well, I um, I've never, I've never been that guy.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  This is funny. It's, listen, I'm very honored and grateful to be here, to be the one to talk to you about this. Cause we go, I, I knew you and Christina before you were Tom and Christina, you know, we go way back. And you know, it's difficult. It's difficult to sit here and see, you know, just what's happening to you guys publicly, privately, all of it. And I am no one to critique. I, I haven't had a successful relationship. I haven't had one. I haven't had one la-. I thought, I told you before, I've had tires that last longer than relationships I'm in, bro, for real. Like a good radial, a solid fucker, a good seven year tire. That's, I mean.

• 5:24Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  So, I can't sit here and criticize, critique, judge, nothing like the internet does. I've never been married. I've been engaged and shit. I mean, what I'm trying to tell you, I have not done well with this. So, my heart goes out to both of you. I understand, like, the kids, all of it. I get it.

• 5:43Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  And um, it sucks. But here's the other thing, two things. If you have been a fan of this show and you've been listening to Christina P., you know damn well, Tom Segura didn't make her do anything.

• 5:57Tom Segura?

  No, of course not.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Anything. Christina be the first one to be like, fuck you, you're gonna go first. Or we'll do this together, or whatever it is.

• 6:04Tom Segura?

  No, without question.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  She would have a say in that. The other thing is, I'm gonna take a sip here, cause I'm getting upset.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  As a fan of this show and coming up with, watching you guys build this thing from, you know, little bedrooms and all this empire you have fucking turned this into. You guys have changed the game of comedy. You have broke the code. You have, what you've done as a power couple has been amazing. It's been a fucking amazing. And as a fan of the show, watching you guys go from not having kids, you know, to a family. I know 10% of the trolls are shit, but the rest of us are just, you know, we're heartbroken that, you know, you're, you guys are sort of the North Star, especially in entertainment. And you know, it makes a lot of people feel a certain way, like, well, fuck, if they can't, can we?

• 6:54Speaker 01

  You know, 20 years, 20 years, two fucking decades is a long time. So, I, I understand where those people are coming from and it's, you know, they've grown with you guys.

• 7:04Tom Segura?

  I understand it too.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  You know, but the trolls are the trolls.

• 7:07Tom Segura?

  I understand, look, I actually understand all, I understand all of it. I understand the people that are like, um, just heartbroken. And I understand the trolls and people, like, it's not something I can't wrap my head around. It's part of how it goes. I totally get it. I just, also will just, wanted to tell you this to reiterate that like, we're not combative. Like, we talk every day. I, just for people to know that like, this is, like, I support Christina in everything she does. She supports me and our focus, as you would imagine, is just on our children. And um, you know, we're just trying to provide the best life we can for them and we're trying to take care of them.

• 7:46Tom Segura?

  And I personally, you know, I, you're not gonna see me doing interviews or podcasts or press about this. This for me is like, again, this is me addressing what it is and how it's been and it's been terrible. And um, I don't feel like I need to keep talking about this. This is it for me. I'm not gonna talk about this. You know, whether, and some people are okay with some or not, it is what it is. Like, I'm, I'm going to just be focused on what I do and, like I said, taking care of the kids. And Christina and I continue to do that and we talk to each other and we're fine with how things are moving along, as disappointing as it is.

• 8:28Tom Segura?

  It is what it is, like, in that regard. Um, I don't know what else to say about it.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Can I ask you a question?

• 8:34Tom Segura?

  Sure.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  What are your DMs like right now?

• 8:39Speaker 01

  What are your DMs?

• 8:41Tom Segura?

  I'm sorry, that's the wrong drop. I'm sorry, that's the wrong drop.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Was that a DM? Who left that?

• 8:51Tom Segura?

  It's, it's insane, dude. Um, I've never answered anybody.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  What's some of the wildest shit trick? I mean, like, off the wall, like, you're just like, what the fuck?

• 9:02Tom Segura?

  Guys, guys.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Guys is something I hadn't considered generally.

• 9:08Tom Segura?

  Guys were like, what's up, bro? It's time. You're free. What?

• 9:12Speaker 01

  You're fucking free. You're free to be gay.

• 9:14Tom Segura?

  My face in your ass. I'm like, huh? And then you're like, this is what women go through, right?

• 9:20Tom Segura?

  Yeah, they're like, I'll eat your ass out.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Guys are wanting to eat your ass. It's fucking great.

• 9:25Tom Segura?

  It's insane. No, it's great. I mean, I, I don't like, I don't, I'm, I'm good, man. I'm really good. You don't have to do that. Thank you.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  You sure?

• 9:32Tom Segura?

  Yeah, please don't message me.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Because my mom hit me up, wants to know if you're fucking.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  You're her favorite comedian, bro. Shit when she saw you.

• 9:43Tom Segura?

  Are you being serious?

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:45Tom Segura?

  Your mother?

• 9:52Speaker 01

  My mom loves you, bro.

• 9:53Tom Segura?

  Shut up.

• 9:56Tom Segura?

  You're being serious?

• 10:02Speaker 01

  If you ever do a show in Delaware, bro, I'm telling you, you could get dick down in Delaware.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  You could get dick down in Delaware. I can even know a band that could open for you.

• 10:17Tom Segura?

  How's your mom now?

• 10:18Speaker 01

  I think she's approaching eighty. I'm not sure, to be honest. It might be seventy. It can't be seventy. I'm fifty-three. It can't be. It's gotta be eighty. Yeah, she's still there. She's eight.

• 10:29Tom Segura?

  Okay, look, um, let's just, I'm, I'm, I'm moving on. Uh, you can see, bro, if you're gonna be my stepdad, this is gonna be wild. This is gonna be wild.

• 10:42Tom Segura?

  What do you mean?

• 10:43Speaker 01

  Like, if you're banging my mom, I mean, you're pretty much my stepdad. Like, it's gonna be.

• 10:47Tom Segura?

  You can see Ryan at Ryan Sickler dot com.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Watch my special, live and alive, streaming now on my YouTube. Come see me on the road, Ryan Sickler dot com, honeydew way back, all that.

• 10:57Tom Segura?

  Don't forget to see Duncan also, Duncan Trussell dot com.

• 11:02Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:03Tom Segura?

  Here's, you know how this works. I'm gonna play you the opening clip.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:06Tom Segura?

  Let's do it. Here we go.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Where am I? Hold on, real quick. Where am I? Here?

• 11:10Speaker 02

  You're gay. Fuck you. If you don't drink it black, you're gay. You understand me? Fuck you.

• 11:35Tom Segura?

  Sometimes.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Half the time, every.

• 12:16Tom Segura?

  How do you drink your coffee?

• 12:18Speaker 01

  I don't drink coffee.

• 12:18Tom Segura?

  Ever?

• 12:19Speaker 01

  I'm not a coffee guy.

• 12:20Tom Segura?

  You never were?

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Mm-mm. I don't.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Hey, I'm not gay. I don't fucking put milk in it.

• 12:26Tom Segura?

  That's true.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Um, no, I've never been a coffee drinker. I, I don't speak coffee, like, you know, I used to work in the office and shit.

• 12:35Tom Segura?

  You don't do a pour over?

• 12:37Speaker 01

  I'm like, what the fuck is an ad shot and a pour over? And yeah, I don't know any of that shit. Like, I really don't.

• 12:42Tom Segura?

  This time of year always brings up memories of when summer felt much simpler and sweeter. Whether that makes you think of days spent on a lake, those iconic moments call for an iconic drink, and that drink is America's own Mountain Dew. Hailing from the hills of Tennessee, its citrus kick is the perfect companion to whatever adventures your own personal, wet, hot, American summer may entail. Whether I'm hanging out on the beach or taking my boys out on the boat, there's never a bad time to pop a top on a Mountain Dew. It's been that way since two brothers had a dream back in nineteen forty-eight. Times may have changed, but that same great taste of the mountains remains the same. Sipping on a Mountain Dew is the best way to kick off a damn good time. I'm gonna fire up the grill today, and I'm gonna sip a Mountain Dew and enjoy it all.

• 13:27Tom Segura?

  Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original, tasting great since forty-eight.

• 13:33Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 14:25Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 14:54Speaker 01

  And, um, I remember, though, watching my grandmother make it. I, I love the smell of it. I love it in the air. I love being, yeah, I love that. But I also like the fucking smell of a, a match striking a cigarette, just the first, the first, before all the poison gets in it, that tobacco right there. I love that.

• 15:12Tom Segura?

  Or a match strike also smells amazing.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  But I watched my grandmother. God, what was the old school?

• 15:18Tom Segura?

  Wait, you don't have any caffeine?

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, Diet Coke is my caffeine.

• 15:20Tom Segura?

  But like, in the morning, do you drink one?

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Diet Coke is my fucking coffee.

• 15:24Tom Segura?

  So you're at seven AM, you're like, Diet Coke?

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:26Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, because also, I'm glad, I, I know that's not healthy, but it's not Kool-Aid, but it's also, um, my grandmother used to have this, these little tins. Was it Carnation or something? They had a little flavored, like, powder you'd put in your coffee back in the day. And I started watching her do that. And then when I started working in the office, I'm watching people just, just chug caramel in it and shit. I'm like, oh my God, that's, that is exactly how I would drink coffee. A fucking liquid candy bar. I'm so glad I don't. But, I mean, I'll have like three a year or something like that, you know? And I like an iced coffee. I don't like hot coffee.

• 16:03Tom Segura?

  I like some iced coffee, too. I, I found out that, like, that is maybe the gayest thing about me, is that I like, well, that I like it year-round. I was told that, like, gay guys also like to drink cold coffee year-round. I didn't know that.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Is that right? I just like cold drinks, and I like it with extra ice. So how gay is that?

• 16:18Tom Segura?

  That it's twenty twenty-six, and it's still one of, like, the prime insults, is like, you're fucking gay. Like, that's still gets people.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  It's over shit, like, if you put milk in your coffee.

• 16:28Tom Segura?

  Yeah, you drink milk? Fucking gay?

• 16:33Tom Segura?

  That's considered gay.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  But see, I think he genuinely, when he says it, says it like, you're fucking a guy. I don't think he's talking to women when he says that. I think it's strictly to men only.

• 16:45Tom Segura?

  The, also, the funny thing about how, like, like, if you don't enjoy something, the flavor of something.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  The way I do.

• 16:53Tom Segura?

  The way I do, that says something about your sexuality.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  And it's, you're gay.

• 16:57Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  You're totally gay. You're not bi.

• 16:59Tom Segura?

  No.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  Polly, you're gay.

• 17:01Tom Segura?

  You like a little cream in your coffee.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:04Tom Segura?

  You're a homosexual. Some people, it's like, all they get all day is people telling them they're gay, like.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Hey, man, I just wanna tell everybody, dude, look, look, look, the shit on here about me, where they're making it where I'm looking like I'm kissing a guy, that's all AI, bro. That's not real. I'm sorry, brother. I'm not gay. How many times I gotta tell you people, man? Hey, look here. Everything you see that is made up like that is AI. It is not real at all. Not real at all. Every bit of it's fake, and they're full of shit. I love women, and, uh, that AI shit, I don't know, man, but it's not me, bro. That's a lie.

• 17:39Tom Segura?

  So they're doing that thing to him where they're doing, they take his image, and you've seen, like, where they AI put another guy there, and then he is now, which I'm sure his whole entire following is just people being like, all right, let's do some more AI kissing stuff, because it got to him. And that's.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Do you think that guy's gay?

• 17:56Tom Segura?

  The outfit could be, you know.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  The shark-tooth fucking necklace screams queer. I mean, it really does. It fucking screams it, bro.

• 18:04Tom Segura?

  The tank top with the hat is also kinda gay.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  It screams it.

• 18:08Tom Segura?

  Like, if I saw this dude, and they were just like, is this guy gay or straight? My guess would be gay.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  I'd say probably.

• 18:14Tom Segura?

  Yeah, probably gay. After he spoke, I'd be like, yeah, more. I'm leaning more gay.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, I'm more convinced he's gay.

• 18:19Tom Segura?

  But it can take somebody down if you're just like, you know.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  This AI trend of, uh...

• 18:24Tom Segura?

  Well, just that, like, how that is still, like, because you remember when we were, like, in elementary school, like, the worst thing would be, like, that dude's gay. And you were like, anything to let, like, that would be like, that was like the prime insult of, like, fifth grade.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  It wasn't for us.

• 18:39Tom Segura?

  Really?

• 18:39Speaker 01

  No, not to that point. We, if you just did something, really, you're so gay. It was just that. And no one took it serious. No one ever was like, that kid's gay. I mean, we, honest, this is the truth. It's, it's interesting, because I'm telling you, in our whole circle of friends.

• 18:55Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  We never pointed out the actual gay guy that knew, we knew was gay. We would just call you gay.

• 19:00Tom Segura?

  Well, that's what I mean, is like. He, yeah, you so gay is like, is how people would, and some people would.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  My dad'd be like, go rake the leaves. We're like, you're so gay.

• 19:09Tom Segura?

  You're so gay.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, that, it was just a response.

• 19:12Tom Segura?

  Well, I feel like amongst kids, they would still, like, light people up. Like, that's, you're gay. And then you'd be like, no, I'm not. Like, that was the thing. And then here we are in this age, where it's like, this is still the guy being like, I'm not, don't call me that. I'm not gay. And then sometimes people get, like, you know, really defensive, like, uh, let me see here, this.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Hey, what's good, everybody? It's Lalo Calvajer here. But look, I just came on here real fast to say something to all of you guys. All of you guys really disrespected me yesterday by commenting in my comment section, Daddy Not Gone and Daddy Chill. Bro, I already told you guys, that is real disrespectful when you guys tell me that, bro. Don't be commenting no Daddy Chill. Don't comment no Not Gone. Stop telling me Daddy Chill. Stop commenting all that stuff under my posts, you guys. I like women. Please, stop trying to make me look bad on this platform, you guys. Stop commenting Daddy under my posts, you guys, please. That's all I ask for, you guys, is respect. But, but.

• 20:06Tom Segura?

  Can you imagine telling the internet, please just show me respect? Like, that's what he's doing. He's thinking they're like, oh.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  You know what, guys? Yeah.

• 20:13Tom Segura?

  He just wants to be respected.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Anytime you're telling a wave of dickheads not to do insert thing here, they're doing it. They're doing it in force.

• 20:22Tom Segura?

  For sure gonna ramp up. It's for sure.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 20:33Tom Segura?

  I don't know.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Perplexed.

• 20:38Tom Segura?

  Look at his hashtag. Stop calling me daddy.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  Look how many people are liking it and shit. This guy's got some action.

• 20:46Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  He's a lesbian.

• 21:00Tom Segura?

  It's mostly guy, no shit.

• 21:07Tom Segura?

  He's so mad now.

• 21:11Tom Segura?

  Talking to you.

• 21:14Tom Segura?

  Just.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  But anyways, I got another message for everybody, cause I see a lot of you guys keep joking on my name. So I'm here to tell you guys, the little stuff that you guys keep doing in my comment section and I'm gonna address it. Bro, I'm not your guys' daddy. You guys keep calling me daddy, Lalo in the comments, bro. My name is Lalo Gombrayzi. I'm not your poppy. I'm not your not gone. Stop calling me a not gone, bro.

• 21:38Tom Segura?

  I don't, what is that? Don't even know.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  And now you're asking me, Lalo, do you like guys? No, I don't. I'm straight.

• 21:47Tom Segura?

  That is like the formula for everyone to be like, alright, so it's that he's gay forever. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. What does that mean? Someone who has a big butt or large buttocks. Nalgon, okay, alright, alright, so they're calling him. I'm just going back in my mind now to the video before where the guy, it just like, made me laugh, and he goes, how many times, I gotta tell you. How many times are you fucking out there telling people you're not making out with dudes? This guy's. Oh, this is that guy. I'm jumping under, you hear? I knew it, I fucking knew. For sure. They're doing that.

• 22:24Tom Segura?

  That's my favorite right there. He looks good, he look good there. He looks good right there. Yeah. Oh shit, yeah. What's this then? They're doing that to him. They should put this guy, somebody, listen. Yeah. Mommy's, put this guy and daddy together. Yeah. In a post and let's fucking go ahead and put that out there. Let's do it, please. Daddy, Lalo. Then what's this? What's this then? Can you imagine too, then he's gonna address this and then there's, there'll be more, we like, here's a guy, you're buttfucking this guy, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man.

• 22:59Tom Segura?

  Those pictures look real to me, that's great. It does look real. Yeah, they do look real. This was earlier today, that's how recent. He's always in the car kissing guys.

• 23:10Tom Segura?

  Dude, you, um, it's so funny, we, when you got here, you mentioned this guy, hold on, oh, here he is. Um, one of our favorites, this guy has given up me so much joy. Uh, it's actually the, I think the drop that I played, which, from this.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  He can't manage, nigga. I've been working with him for forty-five years. A nigga just ain't gonna do that thing. He got attitude about everybody.

• 23:36Tom Segura?

  This is in church, everybody. That is church, look the mother Mary or whoever behind him while he's saying this. This is Jesse Lee Peterson's personal preacher. This is his pastor. You gotta get these guys together, man. Me? Yeah. I don't want anymore. Do you know how often I get hit up about that, dude? So many people come up to me like, yeah, I saw you on that show, it just was real. I was like, man, just watch it, you'll figure out what the fuck happened. That's the best, the best thing ever is watching that episode. If you've never seen the Ryan Sickler episode with Jesse Lee Peterson, watching you go like, where, like, what is this? You discovering where you are.

• 24:19Tom Segura?

  You or Josh Wolfe putting me on blast. And I was fucking, I, I peed next to him in the bathroom, he's like five foot two and I thought, I thought he was like a, you know, either an operator or a guy that worked in the office or something. And when he came out and sat in the chair, I'm like, you're the guy? And then what came out of his mouth made it just kept getting weird. I was like, come on.

• 24:45Tom Segura?

  Pastor man.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  For the black man. He'd again, the black man, then you got rap music.

• 24:50Tom Segura?

  Then you got rap music. Okay, so, so, we know about that one. What's his name? Pastor what? Manning. Manning. It's the Atla Church in Harlem. Um, yeah, James David Manning. Then he's seventy-nine years old. He's been, he's been, um, I guess preaching there for, for a good long while. This one got a remix from Swayed, Swayed the Remix God, yeah. You didn't see this, oh my god, this is. Brand new to me right here.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Get your ass a job. Get a job, nigga, go to work. Nigga, are you crazy?

• 25:30Tom Segura?

  Jesus, Lalo, Jesus.

• 25:35Speaker 04

  Get a job, nigga, get a job. Get a job, nigga, get a job, go to work, get a job, nigga. Get a job. Get a job, nigga, get a job, nigga, go to work. Get your ass a job, get your ass a job. Get your, get your ass a job, get your ass a job. Nigga.

• 25:55Tom Segura?

  That's ridiculous.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  Nigga, are you crazy?

• 26:15Speaker 04

  Get a job, nigga.

• 26:18Speaker 04

  Go to work, get a job, nigga.

• 26:20Tom Segura?

  Snag a job.

• 26:30Tom Segura?

  Well. So that, so.

• 26:37Tom Segura?

  I would expect that. That last one. Little button. Swayed always kills it. Um, but Pastor Manning delivers all the time. Like, he's always hitting the hot button topics. Do you know, is this a Sunday only? Is this weeknights? What is this? I actually don't know. What I'm curious about. What denomination? The camera is very clear. This is, you know what I mean? Like, it's a, that's a high res, that's a good, it's a good quality camera. Audio's great. Crystal clear.

• 27:10Tom Segura?

  So is this message.

• 27:16Tom Segura?

  Both of those are on point. There's no confusion at all. No confusion about what he is saying at all. I wonder where he stands on this. We should all go have Bible study after this to break down what he was saying. I was like, I think we know what the fuck he's saying. We got it. But you never hear a lot of chirping. You don't hear a lot of applause or anything. Sometimes you'll hear like, like, a person. They're scared. They're scared. There's, there's a lot, he's, I mean. You don't.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Free bus ride.

• 27:47Tom Segura?

  Just cuts it like.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, go to niggas again. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

• 27:58Tom Segura?

  No. Uh, so there's. The murals behind him as he's saying. It's insane. Always got a new suit. Always. How many suits does this motherfucker have? Oh my god, it's gotta be hundreds, man.

• 28:10Speaker 04

  My grandfather was born a slave in eighteen sixty-two, eighteen sixty-three. Inside of me, now brothers, I'm not against y'all, but I can tell you that I know the difference. See, inside of me is my grandfather Charlie. The blood that's in him, that spirit that's in him, that swing low, sweet chariot, all of that, that was immersed in him and in his father, his grandfather, his forefather, all of that strength. Every time a child was born, they were born with that strength from their forefathers. It's in me. But the young men that are born today, they ain't got none of that.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Now, brothers, I'm not against y'all, but I swear, I don't see it. I don't, I see pussies.

• 29:00Tom Segura?

  I see pussies, this is outrageous in church.

• 29:04Speaker 04

  The bloodline, cause their parents, their fathers weren't nothing. Their mamas weren't nothing.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  And the children they have ain't nothing. Have you seen young children today? Have you seen adolescents? Have you seen teenagers? They're nothing, they're nothing. They have nothing. They have no strength. They bow down at the weakest damn thing. They don't wanna work. They ain't got no damn money and they're all hoes. Have you seen them?

• 29:33Tom Segura?

  Have you seen them?

• 29:35Speaker 04

  What do you mean by the strength? That strength was passed down to me from my grandfather. I'm a man, damn it. Passed down to me. But if your daddy didn't, didn't have it, you ain't got it.

• 29:47Tom Segura?

  She's been listening to that speech for every. Now, we're gonna pass the collection plate from left to right. Pussies only. Pussies only. He, um, yeah, but you, you heard that guy cough. I did. Do you think there's eight people out there or that it's full?

• 30:04Tom Segura?

  It's a really good question. I've wondered this, cause you never see a crowd, chat, you have. Alright, so let's really break it down. It's echoey, so I think it's a bigger room, which lends me to believe there's maybe a hundred, two hundred, maybe five hundred, I don't know how big. I'm sure we can look online and see how big this man's church is. More, kinda like, background. Unless they're all just terrified. Well, yeah, if it's like Kim Jong-un level fear, yeah, where they're just like.

• 30:30Tom Segura?

  Nobody ever says, no, you know, you can be at churches and people will like, be like, mm-mm, but they're. We might probably turn the camera around. Forty people attend.

• 30:42Tom Segura?

  I was about to say, you probably turn the camera, they're like a hundred in wheelchairs, it's just letting him vent. Who gave him the camera though? Someone's running production on this. Production, that is, it moves, yeah. The sound again. I might look into this mic for my podcast.

• 31:00Tom Segura?

  It's so clear. It's so clear.

• 31:02Speaker 04

  Listen, let me tell you something. You wanna have sex with a man. You wanna go inside of his lower intestines and pack whatever is in there, pack his dung, stack it all up by you pushing in it and pushing it. You wanna do that, knock yourself out, homie. You wanna pack another man's doo-doo, that's your business. If you find delight in that, I, I find it abhorrent, but if, if that's what, if packing another man's doo-doo brings you on, knock yourself out, bro. I just wanna tell you, the Bible says it's wrong. The Bible says it's wrong. But anybody else with half a brain would understand, there must be something wrong with you to wanna go inside of another man's asshole and pack his dung.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Don't that stuff get all over you? I mean, that's what is there, that, that's what that place is made for. How on earth can you elevate that up just past the man in preaching?

• 32:00Speaker 04

  You see where, you see where the? Where the world is?

• 32:06Tom Segura?

  Yeah, go to niggas again. Okay, okay. That's crazy. It's crazy. In church, it's crazy.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Church with Jesus on the pulpit is outrageous.

• 32:17Tom Segura?

  Yeah. Please keep preaching. This is the best, dude. I mean, this never, he never lets us down.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  If you would have said before the internet, no, there's this black preacher in Harlem that says the craziest shit and this, this, this, and this, I'd have been like, you're fucking full of shit.

• 32:33Tom Segura?

  Yeah, especially Har- you big in Harlem?

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Now, yes, and maybe in Alabama?

• 32:36Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 32:37Tom Segura?

  Yeah. Now, this is 125th Street.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  Jesse Lee Peterson have to get together because he said his grandfather was a slave. I'd like to hear what Jesse Lee Peterson has to say about that because slavery never existed, according to him.

• 32:47Tom Segura?

  He goes, say.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  You know what's funny?

• 32:51Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  He might be who he's preaching about to Jesse Lee Peterson.

• 32:56Tom Segura?

  Oh, right.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 32:57Tom Segura?

  Yeah. Yeah. I saw Jesse, Jesse, oh, man, he is so good at, um, really.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Trolling.

• 33:04Tom Segura?

  Yes, to somebody to their face. Where they get the guy.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  You're not a man.

• 33:09Tom Segura?

  He's like, yeah, and the guy's like, I am a man, and then he just goes. He just keeps laughing in their face where they're like, I am a man. And he's like.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  All back to the gay shit again.

• 33:18Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:21Tom Segura?

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• 34:02Tom Segura?

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• 34:45Tom Segura?

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• 35:27Tom Segura?

  That's mengotomars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them your mom's house sent you. I don't know, did you take any, like, did you take a summer trip anywhere?

• 35:45Speaker 01

  This year?

• 35:45Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I went to Palm Springs. I've been doing this thing with some.

• 35:50Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Well, you know Jim.

• 35:52Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Jim Grindstaff, I was telling.

• 35:54Tom Segura?

  Dad's daughter's trip.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 35:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  I was mentioning to Brandy because she knows of Jim and I was like, you know, fun little fact about Jim Grindstaff, he's the first person you see in Cutman. He's the guy hitting the heavy bag in Cutman. So him, Shannon, who you've met as well, and our daughters, it's not just dads and daughters, it's really dads and kids. I invited my brothers with their kids, they couldn't come. I invited my cousin, his kids, they couldn't come. There was someone else we, we asked, like, just trying to get people from, that we've known for, you know, Shannon, I've known since seventh grade, Jim since ninth grade, and it's just rare. We have this huge circle of friends that go back to, I mean, my friend Matt Schilling and I go back to kindergarten, Eric Snyder back to, you know, Eric back to seventh, sixth

• 36:38Tom Segura?

  grade. How's he doing?

• 36:40Speaker 01

  He's doing good, he's doing good, he is. He just hit me up the other day. He actually is doing very good.

• 36:44Tom Segura?

  Good. Yeah, yeah.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  So, um, yeah, we, we go rent a house in Palm Springs and this one, we'd be getting better at it, you know? We have crabs come out, we have a crab feast there, and we bring a little bit of the old to the new. I know, I know.

• 37:01Tom Segura?

  Yeah. Yeah, so.

• 37:09Tom Segura?

  Sometimes a new haircut makes you feel nice.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck.

• 37:25Tom Segura?

  I'm cramping.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  That's just for us, that's fine.

• 37:27Tom Segura?

  I'm cramping.

• 37:31Tom Segura?

  Ah, that's just.

• 37:37Tom Segura?

  I got any Pepsi here? Pepsi Mac?

• 37:42Speaker 01

  How many you want?

• 37:45Tom Segura?

  You got like a 20, 24 pack?

• 37:47Speaker 01

  I did that this summer, uh, and, you know, it's a new tradition we've started because everyone's dead and all the old traditions have died with them. So I'm like, look, man, we're, my last oldest relative died, Patty, rest in peace Patty, and.

• 38:01Tom Segura?

  Is this the one that shit everywhere?

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's my grandma.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  No, you make it sound like she did it all the time. It was a one time. Over coffee, actually, that's why I don't drink coffee. I have enough problems as it is, but, um, yeah, we ship out crabs from Jimmy's famous seafood, best seafood in the country. Uh, you can ship it all over the place and, no, they're not paying me. I love it that fucking much. I'm a crab nerd and so, yeah, we, we do that and then we're just there for like four or five days and we got a night, this house ended up having, they, they converted the garage to a full arcade.

• 38:37Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Air conditioned, so you, you don't have to leave, you know what I mean? You're there just hanging out, chilling in the water all day, grilling. We had pickleball there, we had putt putt on the side of the house, so we did that. And then I went back to Baltimore, um, just recently. I don't know if you've seen any of these little episodes I did, but I started a, a podcast, well, it's, it's a little mini series within the Wayback. And I went back to Shannon's junkyard and I shot episodes in the junkyard with my brothers and friends. People have been asking me to do it for years, so I did that last summer and there's about 13 episodes from that one last time.

• 39:13Tom Segura?

  I keep thinking about him because there's this account that I love. Have you seen this account where this guy is in a junkyard and he just puts like mini sticks of dynamite in cars?

• 39:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 39:24Tom Segura?

  It's the fucking greatest.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  As soon as he has to sell it, I'm fucking getting it.

• 39:28Tom Segura?

  Oh, my God. I fucking love this.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  And he just blows shit up?

• 39:31Tom Segura?

  He just blows up cars. It's the most.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:33Tom Segura?

  I can't get enough of this. I literally, every time I scroll and I see this, I'm like, oh, this is what Shannon could be doing.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Dude, it's, it's interesting because, you know, we put up an old Wayback seat, I'll send you a picture, you can put up if you want. And we sit in a junkyard and then I brought my brothers out and.

• 39:52Tom Segura?

  I did see a clip of you guys doing that.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Doing that, and then I just went back and did another round with some more people. It's like a little second series, season of that. And I was telling Ryan, um, I'm working on this in post right now, but I went and I just sat in that junkyard and I started telling old stories just to Cameron, stuff like that and.

• 40:10Tom Segura?

  Go to like, yeah, go to that, like where he's holding it. This is how, this is this.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Oriole, if you guys are having trouble getting to the bulbs, to the back of your headlights, I have a simple solution for you.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's gonna get you there. What is that? It's a half a stick of dynamite.

• 40:27Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  All in one take for you guys.

• 40:29Tom Segura?

  M80 or something?

• 40:30Speaker 01

  M80 is a quarter, so what would be an M40?

• 40:32Tom Segura?

  I don't know.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Or a one stick?

• 40:35Tom Segura?

  This is all he does.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  Turn around, bro, let me see that.

• 40:37Tom Segura?

  I love this page, dude. I could watch this shit.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Big cloud of smoke. Seems like I got to the headlights.

• 40:47Tom Segura?

  To the headlights.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Check the damage here.

• 40:50Tom Segura?

  You got it.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  As you can see, it worked just fine. I can access my light bulb here.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  That bulb is still there.

• 40:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  It, it kind of.

• 41:00Tom Segura?

  Dude, he does, if you go back to the account, he does it for like the headrests, he does, he, there he put like a bottle of, of like Dove, he's like, it smells bad.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  I know, y'all got that for one friend, that their car stinks like shit. So I'm gonna teach you how to make it smell better. All you need is a piece of dynamite and.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  That might be a full fucking piece, actually. Look how big it is against that dub.

• 41:24Tom Segura?

  No, no. It's gotta be.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  It's a half a stick.

• 41:27Tom Segura?

  Is it half?

• 41:28Speaker 01

  That's bigger than M80. We used to get M80s only this big.

• 41:31Tom Segura?

  How do you buy this?

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Where is he?

• 41:34Tom Segura?

  I don't know, Michigan, maybe?

• 41:40Speaker 02

  We took the damage, we're gonna do a hand on rubet, guys.

• 41:43Tom Segura?

  But couldn't you watch this all day?

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:45Tom Segura?

  No, they all do this shit.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  So I, um, like, in, in, uh, there was a time when I worked at the junkyard and my one day was, it was a whole day.

• 41:55Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Shannon's dad's like, your day today is to drive this motor into, I don't even remember where it was in West Virginia, but I'm going deep. I'm going four hours into, from Maryland into West Virginia and back. That's my eight hour day, basically. And I see a fireworks place in West Virginia, because they're not legal in Maryland, on the way in, and I'm like, I'm gonna hit that on the way back and I'm just gonna get a grip of shit, because, you know, we're going back to our North Avenue, there's no, we're just shooting bottle rockets at each other in the house and shit. So I go in there and I'm, you know, you ask where you can get these things, I go in, the guy goes, you wanna see something? And I go, yeah, and he takes me in the back and I'm telling you, he had a, it looked like a rocket. He took a blanket and uncovered, and I was like, oh, my fucking God.

• 42:38Tom Segura?

  This reminds me of another one. There's an account called Silent Pyrotechnics?

• 42:44Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't, I'm following these after this.

• 42:46Tom Segura?

  No, dude, there's a few that are amazing to watch. There's the other guy that, that puts empty propane tanks into like, um.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  That's.

• 42:53Tom Segura?

  Like a cannon?

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:55Tom Segura?

  And shoots them out?

• 42:55Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, shoots, I got you, I got you.

• 42:57Tom Segura?

  This guy here, look at, yeah, hit that first one on the left and put the volume on. Listen to this thing go off, dude. I've seen, I, I can't believe all these, I know all these accounts now.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Get the fuck out of here!

• 43:12Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Listen to it.

• 43:14Tom Segura?

  Listen to that. Look at how that goes up, dude.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Dude, we heard that after it exploded. What was that?

• 43:25Tom Segura?

  This is daytime, right?

• 43:30Tom Segura?

  But that's the howl on the way up. Scroll down a little.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Scroll down.

• 43:35Tom Segura?

  Yeah, listen to that one in the middle there. Imagine if you're just like in bed.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  And he's, it's handheld.

• 43:41Tom Segura?

  Yeah. But you're just like in bed and you're like trying to go to sleep.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Out of his car.

• 43:50Tom Segura?

  And you're like, holy shit, I think we're getting attacked, right?

• 43:53Speaker 01

  I would definitely think that was, yes, a missile.

• 43:57Tom Segura?

  That neighbor's like, we're under attack. Declaring war in Mexico, yeah.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, listen to the music, that's where you get, that's where you buy that shit.

• 44:06Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  Mexico.

• 44:07Tom Segura?

  That's right. Now, these are incredible, man.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  That's nuts.

• 44:10Tom Segura?

  Maybe that's my next trip, just going to buy cri- this guy. This dude is the one who does-

• 44:22Speaker 01

  Oh, it is full, that's what I was saying, he's, it's full. That thing will blow a half a city block up.

• 44:28Tom Segura?

  This dude also casually talks, standing in front of the cannon all the time. He'll just be like, so we're gonna let this thing go-

• 44:34Speaker 01

  And look at him, right, his face is in front of it.

• 44:38Tom Segura?

  Like, he's like, we're good.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  It's a space, it says, let me see this.

• 44:45Tom Segura?

  Dude, it's insane.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, yeah.

• 44:52Tom Segura?

  Dude.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  Holy shit!

• 44:55Tom Segura?

  If you find his account on Instagram, he launched them at a car the other day. He la- he launched five of them at a truck that was parked there.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  And like blew it up?

• 45:05Tom Segura?

  It went through the fucking thing, it just tore it in half, yeah.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  They'll blow through a city block of concrete.

• 45:10Tom Segura?

  This is him, one pound every day. Fucking insane, dude. Yeah, I mean, I don't know which one it was, but he did-

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Where'd he get this shit?

• 45:18Tom Segura?

  Well, he's, once he started doing this, propane companies started sending him empty propane tanks, they were like-

• 45:23Speaker 01

  And he just fills them and puts them in there?

• 45:25Tom Segura?

  And he gives them a plug, and then they, he just, yeah, he just does them, yeah, hit, hit one of those, dude. There, it's, this just shows you, I think, how our brains are wired. So all we want to s- Ten!

• 45:37Speaker 01

  This is what that thing looked like, that that guy pulled the blanket off, like that big, like he-

• 45:45Tom Segura?

  Dude, that black powder's lit.

• 45:49Tom Segura?

  It's gonna go at the truck.

• 45:56Tom Segura?

  He's talking in front of it.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I feel like it would take one to do this. Look at him, with straddling it and putting it in.

• 46:04Tom Segura?

  Face, body-

• 46:05Speaker 01

  Look at him ducking down!

• 46:08Speaker 01

  There's gonna be a video eventually that's boom, and he's gone.

• 46:11Tom Segura?

  He's still talking, like, bro, get out of there!

• 46:15Speaker 01

  Holy shit!

• 46:25Tom Segura?

  What'd you leave on top?

• 46:26Speaker 01

  The torch.

• 46:27Tom Segura?

  Oh.

• 46:30Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah? Are you amazed that this damage-

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Took some damage, look, it's a little cockeyed. Benzo Matic, follow Benzo Matic. Like, I have- We got the seat over here, I don't see any propane, oh, there's one.

• 46:44Tom Segura?

  Oh, there's one.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  The rest of them blew through it?

• 46:50Speaker 01

  It didn't just hit the door.

• 46:52Tom Segura?

  Fuck, dude.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  It hit the side, it hit everything.

• 46:54Tom Segura?

  Holy shit! And this is the equivalent of shrapnel, you know, like-

• 47:00Speaker 01

  We got a nice drive hole.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  Let's hit it again.

• 47:06Tom Segura?

  What a, wow, that's insane. I love that he does this, one pound every day.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  Listen, this is something I would take a vacation for.

• 47:15Tom Segura?

  Yeah, this gives me back to vacation.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Not to go back to gay, but you know those man camps you hear about all the time, yeah?

• 47:21Tom Segura?

  Let your feelings out?

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, that kinda shit, if you were like, bro, come out to the desert, we're just gonna blow shit up for two days.

• 47:27Tom Segura?

  A thousand, I'm with you.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  I'll pitch a tent right here on the ground, and all we're doing is blowing shit up all day, I'm in.

• 47:32Tom Segura?

  I wanted to pitch you another-

• 47:34Speaker 01

  We should create this.

• 47:35Tom Segura?

  Uh, dads and kids vacation spot, so, have you ever been to Asia? No, so in the Philippines, um, if you, the Philippines are rad, right? Like, I mean, I'm sure you've, you've heard, there's, um, hold on, I'm trying to find, okay, there's like, it's accessible, the beaches, the pools, that every, why are you looking at me like that?

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Cause I know who you are.

• 47:56Tom Segura?

  No, what do you mean, dude?

• 47:57Speaker 01

  That's what I-

• 47:57Tom Segura?

  Like-

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Good ad, yeah, it's great.

• 48:19Tom Segura?

  Beachfront?

• 48:28Speaker 01

  She breastfeeding?

• 48:29Tom Segura?

  They have, I think she may have been, um, great accommodations.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  It looks like it.

• 48:34Tom Segura?

  Um, great food, you know, uh, uh, like, here, there's-

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Definitely some beautiful, that ship out there looked great, great shots.

• 48:41Tom Segura?

  Yeah, the owner is a huge, like, superhero fan, you know, so like, if you go to like the pool,

• 48:48Tom Segura?

  you can see the thing-

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:50Tom Segura?

  And the Hulk, right?

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:53Tom Segura?

  So there's all kinds of like, cool stuff there. The pool-

• 48:58Speaker 01

  What is that? Like a, uh, wave pool?

• 49:00Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it has jets.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 49:04Tom Segura?

  Has-

• 49:07Tom Segura?

  What, dude, it's cool.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  It looks, looks great.

• 49:10Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Looks busy, too.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  That looks real popular.

• 49:14Tom Segura?

  He films a lot, off hours, but like, people go there, and they just swim.

• 49:22Tom Segura?

  Everybody just, like-

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Dick out on that fucking thing, bro?

• 49:26Tom Segura?

  What?

• 49:26Speaker 01

  It is, dude, that's a dick on the Hulk!

• 49:29Tom Segura?

  No!

• 49:30Speaker 01

  It is, dude! Something's on there!

• 49:33Tom Segura?

  No, no, no, this is just, everybody's having a great time, is what I'm trying to, like, see, he's like doing flips.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:43Tom Segura?

  They have like, all kinds of like-

• 49:47Speaker 01

  You keep showing, it is! It's a fucking dick, or the paint's missing or something.

• 49:53Tom Segura?

  Oh, the Hulk.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:55Tom Segura?

  Yes, you're right.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  That is fucking, there's no way, is that real?

• 50:02Tom Segura?

  Yes, yes.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  I mean, not the dick itself, but-

• 50:05Tom Segura?

  Yes.

• 50:08Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  At a family resort?

• 50:09Tom Segura?

  At a family resort.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Why?

• 50:11Tom Segura?

  Well, I have theories.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  Does he have, has he spoken about it? I'd like to hear his theory.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  I don't really give a fuck about yours, I don't know about the guy that's, that greenlit the dick out of the Hulk's pants.

• 50:27Speaker 01

  No, it doesn't! It does not, dude, that, it's manly, look at it, it's, he's got pubes, for god's sake! This is absurd, no, this is not real.

• 50:37Tom Segura?

  This is real.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Look at the underneath, he's proud of this shit.

• 50:42Tom Segura?

  This guy posts, like-

• 50:44Speaker 01

  Shut up!

• 50:45Tom Segura?

  Uh, can you pull up his page?

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Pull up his pants, is that what you said?

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Pull his, no.

• 50:53Tom Segura?

  Yeah, so, he also does kinda fun kinky reveals, like, if you scroll up a little bit-

• 50:58Speaker 01

  That's what I was gonna, does that one have a dick out too?

• 51:01Tom Segura?

  No, just the Hulk.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  Like, the red, just the Hulk's the only-

• 51:02Tom Segura?

  So here's my, go ahead and hit that, like, hit the, hit the, yeah.

• 51:09Tom Segura?

  Hit the one before it, to the left, yeah, that one.

• 51:14Tom Segura?

  He'll be like, you know.

• 51:19Tom Segura?

  Oh, he's giving you, he's like, oh, we caught like a lizard or, oh, there's a frog.

• 51:31Tom Segura?

  He's chasing that guy.

• 51:34Tom Segura?

  So go ahead and hit the arrow to the right, again. So he also likes to do, like, reveals, so sometimes-

• 51:44Speaker 01

  There's no doubt he's an artist.

• 51:45Tom Segura?

  He's an art, like, right here, he wants you to see-

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 51:52Tom Segura?

  You know?

• 51:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's an artistic shot, just a tip there.

• 51:55Tom Segura?

  Just a tip.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 51:56Tom Segura?

  And he'll do-

• 51:57Speaker 01

  This is not, yeah, no, that thing's got a dick out.

• 52:00Tom Segura?

  No, he doesn't, that, that's, that's the Hulk on the right. So that, that's the thing.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, but look at the pants! Is that his other fist down there?

• 52:08Tom Segura?

  Yes, yes, yeah.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, that looks like a dick.

• 52:10Tom Segura?

  But usually, if he shows you another, if you see an image, I know. It's insane, it's insane.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  The one right there, it's ridiculous.

• 52:21Tom Segura?

  He all, he's mastered covering every angle. So like, even here, you're like, oh, this is about the dog.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  My dog in the dick here, though.

• 52:29Tom Segura?

  This dog shot will end up at Hulk's dick, it always ends up at Hulk's dick.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Is it a fa- it's a fountain? Is that what it is, like a sprinkler?

• 52:35Tom Segura?

  It's a water spray that comes out of the Hulk's dick, yeah. If you scroll down more-

• 52:40Speaker 01

  And people go here?

• 52:43Tom Segura?

  Well, oh, like, sometimes, scroll more.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Are there any people in this pool getting pissed on?

• 52:48Tom Segura?

  He'll do, see, he'll do the underneath shot from behind, see that one above right, yeah. So like, so you're like-

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Slow tilt.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, let me show you, he's proud of this.

• 53:00Tom Segura?

  So, here's my, this is my theory on him, this dude grew up watching the Hulk, right? And he's like, you know what doesn't make sense? This guy gets angry, his muscles grow, his shirt comes off, his pants tear, but every muscle grows.

• 53:19Speaker 01

  Hmm, so you're thinking it's the whole body and then the dick is blowing through the pants as well?

• 53:24Tom Segura?

  They fucking lied to us, his dick's gotta be tearing through that too. And then, I think he feels so much pride, that he thought of it and brought it to life, like, this is what the Hulk would look like when he gets angry. Everything would come off and his dick would tear through his pants too. And then he's, has so much pride, that he came up with this and actually did it, that he can't help himself but to show you in every fucking post. I mean, he posts like fifteen times a day sometimes.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Just of this?

• 53:56Tom Segura?

  Scroll down, do like a big scroll, go scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's in almost every fucking picture.

• 54:01Tom Segura?

  Oh, even the ones that, like, and they're Superman, and you're like, where's his dick?

• 54:04Speaker 01

  What did his underwear say?

• 54:06Tom Segura?

  Uh, MGG My Love's Resort.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  That's the resort?

• 54:14Tom Segura?

  Yeah, that's the affectionate name for it. He says my loves a lot, and then there's, I mean-

• 54:19Speaker 01

  Look at the close up here.

• 54:20Tom Segura?

  The close up is fucking wild.

• 54:27Tom Segura?

  There's one that's not even okay to see.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  Not even okay?

• 54:31Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah. He starts at where it's dripping and then there's a slow tilt up, you know? But do you know what I mean by this, though?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Hold on, I do, but is, are there any pictures of people like getting up and grabbing it and pulling themselves up?

• 54:44Tom Segura?

  Well, there's somebody right-

• 54:44Speaker 01

  There's somebody in there!

• 54:46Tom Segura?

  She's happy.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  Yes, I do. To, um, in his mind, he's like, hold on a second. If everything is growing and bulging, then the penis should as well. It's an art, it's a choice to put the pubes on. It's also a choice that where are the balls? You would think the balls would swell too, so if I'm gonna critique-

• 55:13Tom Segura?

  I mean, you gotta think about costs, right? Having a statue made.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  It seems like the plumbing and everything to run up and down into this dick so that it has a forceful sprinkler is probably a lot.

• 55:24Tom Segura?

  Yep.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  But I'm saying if this guy, if you're gonna say, hey, to your logic, if you're gonna say, look, if we're gonna be realistic about this, then balls should be out of there too.

• 55:33Tom Segura?

  I think you're not wrong. I also feel like, you know, once you're into this territory, you're kinda like, alright, you have Iron Man there and you have the thing, like, what's up with their dicks? Don't they have dicks that should be out?

• 55:48Speaker 01

  But back to your logic again, this man is, he's not in a suit. The thing, I guess, the thing does make sense to me if you're gonna, you're gonna change sizes, yeah, then it should be grammatically correct.

• 56:02Tom Segura?

  What I think is like, is crazy is that Superman's dick's not out. He is Superman. And he has all these superpowers, you know, he can, he can fucking see through shit, he can fly, right? He can like laser shit with his eyes. You don't think that he has a crazy dick too? I also think, my only critique of the Hulk's dick is I feel like it should be more up.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it should not be, uh, it shouldn't be just hanging there. It should be fully erect.

• 56:27Tom Segura?

  It's like half hard, he's the Hulk.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you're in this state right here, your dick's never gonna be harder.

• 56:32Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  It's never gonna be harder than that. It should be shooting up like this in like a rainbow sprinkler if I'm gonna do it.

• 56:38Tom Segura?

  I agree.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  And then the balls could just leak a little shower underneath.

• 56:42Tom Segura?

  That's true. That is really good.

• 56:43Speaker 01

  This is what I would do.

• 56:44Tom Segura?

  I would love to get this guy on the podcast, by the way, Josh.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Cool, I'll get on it.

• 56:49Tom Segura?

  Cause I think my theory is correct, that he's like, this doesn't make sense that the Hulk's dick is not out. I think that he has a real logical problem with it. And I think he is incredibly proud of, of coming up with this.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  Why do pubes look like they might be hair fucking on there? It doesn't look painted.

• 57:07Tom Segura?

  That's probably how he connects to it, is that he-

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Do you think he designed this, or it's his idea and he like-

• 57:12Tom Segura?

  Hired someone?

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:13Tom Segura?

  I think he hired someone.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  Subcontracted someone. And how many people do you think he went through before they were like, ah, yeah, alright, well go ahead and do it?

• 57:19Tom Segura?

  I'll do that. I'll go ahead and give the Hulk a cock.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  That is fucking-

• 57:24Tom Segura?

  And you gotta make it water, like, use it as a-

• 57:26Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, you gotta fucking run plumbing to that thing or-

• 57:29Tom Segura?

  Can you scroll down?

• 57:30Speaker 01

  The other thing too is if, I'm gonna step back here for a second, it's very well manicured. The water looks clean, it looks like he's taking care of the fucking place.

• 57:38Tom Segura?

  This is what I love though, is when you'll hit one of like, Iron Man, I'm bet, like, oh, you can hear it.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Guess what I hear?

• 57:46Tom Segura?

  You could hear Hulk pissing.

• 57:49Tom Segura?

  If you go to the one, go to the right one.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Do we have one any from like behind the waterfall, so to speak, directly behind it?

• 57:59Tom Segura?

  Every angle. You can keep going, if you just keep going. Yeah, here you see, he's doing the-

• 58:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, little Dutch angle.

• 58:08Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 58:11Tom Segura?

  It's almost always a reveal, like he almost always goes, like right there, he's like, just giving you guys. And he does the zoom, and then he's like, oh yeah, look over here. You're like, no dude, we know what you just showed us.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  I'mma send this to the guys, we're going. We're booked, this is our next summer trip right here, thank you.

• 58:29Tom Segura?

  It's, right?

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Thank you. This would be, look at, look at, it's clean, it's clean.

• 58:34Tom Segura?

  Oh, a little color contrast?

• 58:35Speaker 01

  Oh, hell yeah, buddy.

• 58:36Tom Segura?

  That's cool. See you at the next angle. See, everybody talks about how he has literally- That's pretty cool.

• 58:45Tom Segura?

  Ooh, it's a drone shot. That, that feels like it's a, yeah, that's a drone. There's no way he's gonna leave the Hulk out of it, right? You're gonna leave the Hulk out of this drone shot?

• 58:55Speaker 01

  He gonna flies right into that dick.

• 58:57Tom Segura?

  He's got to. Oh, look at the bottom one.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Oh, there's people here.

• 59:01Tom Segura?

  The bottom one, wow. Why isn't the thing rock hard? See, people are asking, yeah.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  He should be.

• 59:08Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Here we go.

• 59:10Tom Segura?

  There you go. Wow, I'm gonna pass him. Man, could you go, continue to the right? Let's see.

• 59:17Speaker 01

  This picture above the money.

• 59:18Tom Segura?

  You go. Oh, drip, there's just a drip drop came out, that was kinda cool. The single drop.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  What's the STD when you have drippy dick? What is it?

• 59:26Tom Segura?

  That's a clap?

• 59:29Speaker 01

  Vietnam and shit.

• 59:30Tom Segura?

  Syphilis or something?

• 59:31Speaker 01

  You know, it's probably in the Philippines.

• 59:34Tom Segura?

  You can stand under there and just get-

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, there you go.

• 59:38Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  Someone in your DMs will definitely fuck that thing.

• 59:48Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Someone in your DMs is gonna fuck that.

• 59:52Tom Segura?

  Can you keep going? There you go.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  Look at the hair, it-

• 59:57Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04Tom Segura?

  This is normal, where he starts on the thing and then he always is like, guess what's over here?

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  I wouldn't use normal.

• 1:00:12Tom Segura?

  For him.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, routine?

• 1:00:13Tom Segura?

  Routine for him.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, that ain't normal.

• 1:00:16Tom Segura?

  Well, anyway, I just wanted to show you that.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Thank you, man, we got a new place to go.

• 1:00:19Tom Segura?

  We got a new place to go. That's, uh, pretty cool.

• 1:00:23Speaker 05

  You're the reason I relapsed. You're the reason I did drugs. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

• 1:00:37Tom Segura?

  I don't think you should blame somebody else for your relapse. I think you gotta own that shit.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, that's if no accountability was a person right there for sure.

• 1:00:44Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I mean-

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  You're the reason I did that. But I gotta say, I felt those fuck yous though, like after a couple, I'm like, oh, that feels good.

• 1:00:51Tom Segura?

  That did feel good.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Like, I don't apply the initial message, but the fuck yous I'm standing behind.

• 1:00:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah, totally, man.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  I like to reapply those to somewhere else, you know? Passionate fuck yous.

• 1:01:03Tom Segura?

  Let's see, I got some horrible hilarious for you.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01:08Tom Segura?

  These are just, you tell me if it's funny or not.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, I know, but I'm also not sure what I'm about to fucking see either.

• 1:01:14Tom Segura?

  To be honest with you-

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  I'm waiting for the preacher to pop up and drop a bomb on us here.

• 1:01:18Tom Segura?

  No, I don't know what we're about to see either. I don't know what is in here. Alright, here we go.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, no! How? Oh, hell.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Fuck, is that a leopard?

• 1:01:36Tom Segura?

  It's a leopard.

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  Oof, he just ripped that dude's flesh off.

• 1:01:42Tom Segura?

  Holy shit.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Oh, he's coming back?

• 1:01:44Tom Segura?

  Yeah, that's in India. Holy shit.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Fuck, how?

• 1:01:48Tom Segura?

  The clerk escaped with bites to his nose and back.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  The claw marks were-

• 1:01:52Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  That thing was hanging on.

• 1:01:54Tom Segura?

  It mauled three people that morning, including a forest volunteer.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  It was probably hungry, I mean, full by the time it got to him. He's lucky.

• 1:02:02Tom Segura?

  Yeah, a tranquilizer team, uh, took five hours to sedate it.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:02:08Tom Segura?

  And the vet said it was his 64th leopard rescue, but his first from inside a liquor store. Uh, two of the injured were hospitalized, um, they released that-

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Mauled.

• 1:02:18Tom Segura?

  Yeah, they released it back into the wild.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  That's fucking wild. It's gonna figure out how to get back there.

• 1:02:23Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it's like, I like that place.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  It's a cat.

• 1:02:25Tom Segura?

  Liquor is good.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 1:02:28Tom Segura?

  That's really insane.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  I'm quitting that day, I'm done.

• 1:02:30Tom Segura?

  No, that's no good.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  Oh, shit!

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  She just standing there holding her hand, helping her, she ain't helping her off. Holy fuck, play that again.

• 1:02:50Tom Segura?

  You know when you're responsible for somebody else's injury, but you didn't, like, you didn't really do anything wrong? And she just doesn't react, she's like, ah, shit.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  So far, in her defense, as her attorney, she has not set foot in that establishment.

• 1:03:04Tom Segura?

  She did not set foot there, yeah.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  Did never set foot, oh, man! That's a heavy fucking, you know how heavy those doors are?

• 1:03:15Tom Segura?

  That's so heavy.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Holy shit, that's my move from now on if I do something wrong.

• 1:03:20Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Walk away and shove away, I'mma get the fuck out of here.

• 1:03:24Tom Segura?

  And they're like, who was that?

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  She had a mask on. Well, if she had an appointment, we can figure out who the fuck she is.

• 1:03:30Tom Segura?

  But she just walked-

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  What time is it on? She's probably there for her 9:30.

• 1:03:33Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  That's your 9:30.

• 1:03:38Tom Segura?

  It's our 9:30 did that.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 1:03:40Tom Segura?

  What'd she do? She touched the door.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Touched it.

• 1:03:43Tom Segura?

  And it, one exploded and the other one fell down.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  Fell in, and you happened to be there. That could've just fallen and broke if you weren't in the way.

• 1:03:50Tom Segura?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Dude, that would fuck you up.

• 1:03:53Tom Segura?

  So bad.

• 1:03:54Speaker 01

  Woo.

• 1:03:54Tom Segura?

  So bad.

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Oh, no! Oh!

• 1:04:03Speaker 01

  Just tell him, turn that camera off, hurry up, turn that- What did she, is that a lady?

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Oh, look, look. Oh, it smells like concrete there.

• 1:04:14Tom Segura?

  I mean, your ribs are gone. Those are shattered ribs.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:04:18Tom Segura?

  Niana, haven't you been to the Philippines?

• 1:04:20Speaker 02

  I have.

• 1:04:21Tom Segura?

  You ever been to that resort?

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  No, I haven't, actually.

• 1:04:24Tom Segura?

  Can you send some family to check it out for us?

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  Oh, I definitely can.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, can we get a scout?

• 1:04:29Tom Segura?

  I found out it's a, it's about an hour fifteen flight from Manila or a boat ride.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's doable. I have family in Manila.

• 1:04:38Tom Segura?

  Oh, can we just?

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  Do you really?

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  Oh, come on, please.

• 1:04:40Tom Segura?

  Could we just send some people there, do a field piece?

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure. My family goes there all the time.

• 1:04:46Tom Segura?

  I mean, it would be great. It'd be great to like, just, it just occurred to me. I was like, oh, we should use our resources.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Tom Segura?

  Are any of them fans of the Hulk, you think, or of just superheroes?

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  Actually, yes.

• 1:04:58Tom Segura?

  Really?

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:59Tom Segura?

  Dude, this is great. Yeah, please, if you don't mind, please, reach out.

• 1:05:05Tom Segura?

  Sorry for the distraction. I just, it just hit me.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  That's great that you have an in-house resource.

• 1:05:09Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I mean, come on. Like, we, we wanna know. We wanna know more.

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  I wanna, I wanna interview with that guy.

• 1:05:14Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. You don't, don't send anybody alone. Oh, no. Listen to that voice. He just took him out. That's a car. I mean, that car's not, hit, play it again.

• 1:05:28Tom Segura?

  He took them out, dude.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  They are. Oh, it's flying too. It's not even going.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, shit. Whatever they're carrying is over.

• 1:05:41Tom Segura?

  Well, he's okay.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:05:44Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  Can we go back again? I feel like it hit three people. What did it, how many people did it hit? You said he, it only hit one guy?

• 1:05:50Tom Segura?

  He wasn't, he wasn't critically injured. Yeah.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  There's no way.

• 1:05:56Tom Segura?

  They walked back after this.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Who? The, yeah, can, can we see it again?

• 1:06:02Tom Segura?

  Yeah, sure. Yeah.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  There's how many, before, four people? Those, that guy up front. There's no, the guy in the back gets hit too, doesn't he? Or is he just?

• 1:06:11Tom Segura?

  I think he just gets a little, here, let's see it frame by frame.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  What do they care? Is, what is up top there? It looks like a little James Brown.

• 1:06:18Tom Segura?

  So, he, he, it barely, I mean, the driver's like, yeah, he doesn't really.

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  It does. It just like grazes him.

• 1:06:25Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  And this guy in the blue shorts is fucking goodnight Irene over here. God damn, they walked back.

• 1:06:33Tom Segura?

  They walked back.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  A bus hit him. That guy didn't stop and give him a fucking ride back for crying. It's a bus.

• 1:06:40Tom Segura?

  That guy's like, I'm busy, man. I got shit going on too. He totally.

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  I'm twenty minutes behind.

• 1:06:45Tom Segura?

  He had to think he killed someone too.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  No doubt. He has no way he doesn't know he's, he hit those people.

• 1:06:50Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  If that guy lived, that's the most, that's the, I, I guess that would be the most severe case of getting the wind knocked out of you, what he's doing there, trying to breathe and talk.

• 1:07:05Tom Segura?

  And this is crazy. What they were doing is they were hauling holy ganga water on foot when the, when the truck hit them. And then after, the three of them were injured, one badly, but nobody critically, the driver fled and that like, just was like, I'm, I'm, I'm rolling, man. I got a delivery. And then they spilled holy water, so it voided the trip. So they went, they walked back, refilled it, and then restarted the pilgrimage.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  How long is that?

• 1:07:32Tom Segura?

  I have no idea how long. He doesn't say.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  If that doesn't make you go put down religion for a fucking second.

• 1:07:38Tom Segura?

  I know.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  I don't know what the, I'm carrying this holy water and a bus just fucking hits. I'm like, I'm out, bro. This is my sign that it's okay.

• 1:07:45Tom Segura?

  It's okay to not.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  To leave whatever this fucking religion is.

• 1:07:47Tom Segura?

  And they're like, we're starting over.

• 1:07:48Speaker 01

  Dude, I talk about this all the time. Like, when I had my battle with, you know, Catholicism, cause I'm baptized, communion, confirmation.

• 1:07:58Tom Segura?

  Yeah. Do you remember your confirmation name?

• 1:08:00Speaker 01

  I wanna say it was Joseph, maybe, cause that was our church and I just couldn't fucking think it. Am I J, J, is it?

• 1:08:06Tom Segura?

  I don't.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  I don't remember. John, Joe, some basic bit shit.

• 1:08:09Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  If it's all real, I got the paperwork. You know what I mean? But I one hundred percent had more anxiety and confliction about letting go of my home phone landline than I did Catholicism.

• 1:08:23Tom Segura?

  Really?

• 1:08:26Speaker 01

  Listen, in my defense, I'm like, how are we ever gonna fuck, how's anybody ever gonna call me? How am I gonna reach people? This is right when this shit's going down. I was like, am I finally ready to cut the cord on the landline Catholicism? I was like, they're fucking kids. I'm good here. The landline was a problem for me.

• 1:08:42Tom Segura?

  I feel pretty similarly. I knew it wasn't for me after a while. Pretty much, pretty much, well, a couple of times, once when the priest during confession was, I think, jacking off with that mic. Yeah, and, um.

• 1:08:56Speaker 01

  Why do you think that?

• 1:08:57Tom Segura?

  Well.

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  You mean while you're talking to him in the booth, he's over there doing his old?

• 1:09:00Tom Segura?

  Yeah, well, no, he was like, oh, yeah.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  What are you telling him?

• 1:09:03Tom Segura?

  I, well, at the time, like, if you're Catholic, when you're a kid, everything's a sin.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  Everything.

• 1:09:10Tom Segura?

  Everything's a sin. And it's embarrassing, but like, you would confess like masturbation and you would confess, yeah, like, that was like how I, that's how what we were taught.

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  Heart.

• 1:09:21Tom Segura?

  Yeah, they were like, they were like confess and confess impure thoughts. So you would say it. And I was telling, I was telling the priest and he was like, oh, yeah. And I was like, I was like, what? He was like, tell me about that. How many times? And, and it was like, his voice, I mean.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  Trembling a little bit and stuff.

• 1:09:40Tom Segura?

  He was like, mhm, yeah. And how often do you do that? And I was like, sitting there, like as a little Catholic kid, like, knowing that this is bad. And then I was like, um, and then I think, he's, he's probably seeing like how far he could take this kid. And then I kind of was like shocked. Then he was like, okay, so go, go do your Our Father's name. And I was like, uh.

• 1:10:04Speaker 01

  Touch my penis through the fence.

• 1:10:05Tom Segura?

  So I was, I was shocked.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  Touch my penis through the fence.

• 1:10:11Tom Segura?

  Put your dick in these little holes.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  You're a sweet kid. I will tell you this. I had a nun in our family. I went to confession a bunch.

• 1:10:17Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  And especially if she was around, cause the rule was you had to confess your sins before you go have the body and blood of Christ at, at the end of the mass. You can't just roll out of your seat and go up, which we did whenever she wasn't there.

• 1:10:28Tom Segura?

  Of course.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  But I went to confession a bunch and I was always creeped out by it. And I never gave him anything. I would, I, I never, I gave him, I would cuss.

• 1:10:37Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  I fought my brother the other day. I gave him bullshit. I'm, I'm not kidding you. The last time, my grandmother's funeral, Sister Carmena made us go to fucking confession. At this point, we're all adults. We, we know what's going on. And you weren't going up if you didn't go and sister's fucking monitoring that shit. And so I go in and I'm, I'm telling you, I remember, I was like, yeah, cussed a couple of times. I'm speeding a little bit out there, like that. I'm giving them nothing to jerk it to. That's why I was like, what are you saying?

• 1:11:06Tom Segura?

  Well, I was young, man. I was young. I mean, I was.

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  I was too, but I was not telling anybody, especially this fucking creep.

• 1:11:11Tom Segura?

  I'm trying to remember, I actually have it kind of blacked out which place I was at and what age that was. So I don't really remember if I was like eleven or twelve or like fourteen or fif, I can't remember which one, but it was like very like, um, and then, you know, it was mandatory for us to go. Like, it was just like a, a gift to church. We would church every week. And then when I went to college and I would come home, they'd be like, it's Sunday, like, we're going to church. And they're like, oh, for fuck's sake. And then they'd be like, are you going to church up in college? And I was like, yeah.

• 1:11:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:41Tom Segura?

  Of course. And then when I would come home to visit after college, it was kind of the same. And then one day, it was weird.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Charo's dragging everybody to church every Sunday.

• 1:11:52Tom Segura?

  Well, it was the two of them.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  It was.

• 1:11:53Tom Segura?

  It was the two of them. Yeah, yeah. He was, he was super Catholic too. He was super Catholic too. It was like, there was always like, they'd be like, you know, all right, we're going to ten o'clock, like normal. Well, one day I'm visiting, I can't remember if I was like twenty-seven, thirty, like around this age, maybe, maybe I'm thirty. And they were like, I got up, when I got up, and they were like, all right,

• 1:12:19Tom Segura?

  uh, we're taking off, we'll be back, um, like in an hour or whatever. And I was like, okay. And I was kind of waiting. Because sometimes they would do things like parents do, where they would do it, but then give you the, the guilt after it, you know? So I was waiting for it. And they left, they didn't say like, come. And then when they came back, they didn't bring it up. They weren't like, interesting that you're here, or are you going? They were just like, yeah, so you wanna go, go get lunch? And I was like,

• 1:12:48Tom Segura?

  yeah. And they're like, okay. And they would never, and they never brought it up.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  And that was the end of it too.

• 1:12:52Tom Segura?

  That was the end of it. They, I think it was almost like they were like, our kids are not like us. So, don't.

• 1:12:57Speaker 01

  Well, that's nice that they didn't force it on you.

• 1:12:59Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it took thirty years, but yeah, it was very nice.

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  Hey, sometimes it takes a while to get there.

• 1:13:03Tom Segura?

  Sometimes it takes a while. Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I had Sunday school, bro. I, I mean, all the way through senior year, I would go my Monday to Friday. We'd have Saturday off and that was always sports. And then Sunday was CCD, Catholic Church Attention, or as my grandma called it, old school catechism.

• 1:13:21Tom Segura?

  I remember CCD.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  And we would go to that every Sunday for first grade to our senior year. So that's when you're getting confirmed, when you're in high school at that point, you know?

• 1:13:30Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  Um, so yeah, and I, my dad had died in, uh, when we were sixteen, so tenth grade, and we all wanted to quit, but my, you know, my grandmother loses her son, our dad, like, it's like, we're gonna fucking go and get, this is gonna make this lady happy if we get confirmed. So, yeah, that's why we did it. But I was already over.

• 1:13:48Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Everything at that point.

• 1:13:50Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I mean, I mean, we def, we never forced it on our kids.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  Mm-mm. My daughter went to a little, um, church for preschool and stuff. I wanted to know. I wanted to know, look, I would go with other friends to, you know, their temple or their Methodist church or whatever. And I'm like, this is so much better than our whole, like, it's so boring and shit.

• 1:14:12Tom Segura?

  Well, that's why a lot of those denominations even started.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're sick of it. We all gotta wear a special, like, I'll never forget, it was a big thing. If you were gonna get your ass kicked after school, be like, I'm in my school clothes or my church clothes. Those pussy kids would say that. There's pussies that, that Manning talks about.

• 1:14:27Tom Segura?

  Pussy!

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  Say, fuck them, I'm in my school clothes.

• 1:14:29Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  And you're gonna get blood on your fucking school clothes, bro. Um, but yeah, I, yeah, no. Shit, if you're into, I want her to know. I want her to know what all of it is. You should understand it.

• 1:14:40Tom Segura?

  You should understand it. I, I also think like.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  And if you wanna practice it, practice it. I'm not against it. Like, if my daughter said, I really wanna go to church, I'd like you to come with me. Or if I had a partner that was like, I want you to come, I would go. I would go. It doesn't mean I'm cosigning on the message I'm hearing. I'm going for this person, not for.

• 1:14:56Tom Segura?

  I think there's also this thing where like, it is young kids, you see, it is comforting to them when you go, someone's in charge of everything. They're like, oh, like that, that keeps them feeling. Say, I remember one time I was like, Ellis, um, you know who God is? And they're like, yeah. He goes, yeah, I know God. I go, who's God? He goes, he controls the weather, man. And I was like.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  I'm the weather!

• 1:15:17Tom Segura?

  I was like, yeah, he does do that.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  That's Byron Allen.

• 1:15:18Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:25Tom Segura?

  I was like, that's so funny.

• 1:15:27Speaker 01

  That is funny. No, that's Mother Nature.

• 1:15:29Tom Segura?

  It's Mother Nature, buddy.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  It's all that shit. That's what I'm teaching my daughter, like, love, universe. I don't care if you call, whatever you call it. There's no denying.

• 1:15:38Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  There is something else going on here. We are not, we ain't shit. There's so much more that's powerful and, and deities and entities.

• 1:15:49Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  Universe and all that out there for sure, that nobody fucking understands.

• 1:15:54Tom Segura?

  Of course.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  But it's undeniable, something bigger than us is going on here.

• 1:15:57Tom Segura?

  Sometimes you even hear like, I mean, I don't have the capacity, the intelligence to explain any of these things, but like some of the science people will even be like, yes, of course I'm rooted in everything science, but then even some of them will be like, something made all this happen.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  No doubt.

• 1:16:13Tom Segura?

  So I don't know. Do you ever see these things that people do now where they've been doing it for a while? Where they crash a Zoom, like somehow crashed a Zoom. There's one that like went super viral.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  Like you could just pop into someone else's?

• 1:16:28Tom Segura?

  Somebody else's Zoom. It's usually some type of meeting. And they got this, this late, they, they gave, they put names that if you say the name, it sounds like you're saying something else.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  That's okay. I've seen a lady, a white lady that's saying this name and I didn't know that's what this was. I just thought she was an, okay.

• 1:16:48Tom Segura?

  You've seen the, the one probably where there's a black kid.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:52Tom Segura?

  And she says a name that sounds like she's saying the N word.

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  Manning says.

• 1:16:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's like, oh, my name's Derek. And then she's like.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  But that's because he crashed.

• 1:17:05Tom Segura?

  They crashed.

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  I didn't know that. I just thought she messed it up.

• 1:17:07Tom Segura?

  In that case, they may have not crashed, but they manipulated the thing, but sometimes they crash them. I don't know if you have that one by chance, but it's a, it's a pretty ridiculous one.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  How do you do that? You just get, do they know a friend of a friend of a friend that got the link?

• 1:17:21Tom Segura?

  I think.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  Cause you could do that, right?

• 1:17:22Tom Segura?

  I think you have to. Yeah. I think you have to, unless you're just randomly typing in Zoom links.

• 1:17:28Speaker 01

  And jumping in.

• 1:17:29Tom Segura?

  But they have them too, where they just jump in and do just wild stuff. But like this person on this one, this is clearly crashing a Zoom.

• 1:17:41Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:43Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 1:17:44Tom Segura?

  And then people are like.

• 1:17:47Tom Segura?

  Who's that?

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  He's trying to talk through it.

• 1:17:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:02Tom Segura?

  And they just want him out, you know? They're just like.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Well, he just wants it out of him too, man. It's all everybody.

• 1:18:08Tom Segura?

  That's a good one. I like this one.

• 1:18:09Speaker 01

  He is shitting and screaming, popping to a fucking company Zoom.

• 1:18:14Tom Segura?

  The Monday meeting.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  That's fucking awesome. Actually, I love that.

• 1:18:19Tom Segura?

  I know that, uh, what's his name? Did this during the pandemic. I always give him credit whenever. Brendan Walsh.

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  He jumped in?

• 1:18:27Tom Segura?

  No, you know.

• 1:18:27Speaker 01

  He crazy. He got in one?

• 1:18:30Tom Segura?

  No, he would do a thing where he would be like, he would join, like find organizations that are holding like Zoom meetings to keep contact.

• 1:18:40Speaker 01

  Public ones.

• 1:18:40Tom Segura?

  Yeah. Or they'd be like, we're having this book meeting or like, and he'd be like, yeah, I want to be at a party. He's like, yeah, I love books. And then he would join them. And then he would hire someone on Craigslist to stand up naked during the Zoom while he's talking.

• 1:18:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:54Speaker 01

  He hired a stranger too.

• 1:18:56Tom Segura?

  Well, you just stand up.

• 1:18:57Speaker 01

  Stand up, show yourself naked.

• 1:18:59Tom Segura?

  And then people be like, what's happening here?

• 1:19:02Tom Segura?

  And it's for his own amusement. It wasn't even for anything.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  Of course it's for his own amusement.

• 1:19:06Tom Segura?

  And then he would be like, hey, what's going on here? Like he would throw his arms up.

• 1:19:13Speaker 01

  But in real life, there's a straight naked stranger in his house.

• 1:19:17Tom Segura?

  No, he'd be like, I'll Venmo you a hundred bucks, like that, that kind of thing.

• 1:19:20Speaker 01

  Oh, they're Zooming too?

• 1:19:21Tom Segura?

  They're Zooming in too.

• 1:19:22Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought he's standing like.

• 1:19:24Tom Segura?

  I don't think so.

• 1:19:25Speaker 01

  And he stands up behind.

• 1:19:26Tom Segura?

  I might have it wrong. I might have it wrong.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  That's actually funnier. He's like, here's the link. You do this and then I'm going to act like I'm appalled too. That's even better.

• 1:19:33Tom Segura?

  It maybe, maybe it was in the same room. I just remember him doing that. It's very funny. Yeah. And that was, and that's just people going like, we're talking about books.

• 1:19:42Tom Segura?

  Why is your dick out?

• 1:19:46Tom Segura?

  Your special, Live and Alive is available on YouTube. The podcast, The Honeydew and the Way Back are available on YouTube. You also have the Patreon, which is fantastic.

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  Honeydew with y'all, bro.

• 1:19:56Tom Segura?

  The craziest stories. I mean, I did a, like a special episode with you where we reviewed. The best of, everything on there. I was like, I've never.

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  Wait till, wait till here's the one I got for you the next time.

• 1:20:10Tom Segura?

  I try to like, I tell people, I'm like, you just can't imagine.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  You can't. I'm the, I'm the paramedic at the party now.

• 1:20:15Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 1:20:16Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:20:17Speaker 01

  I'm the paramedic at the party. Like this one guy, we scraped him off the road with a shovel. I'm that guy now, but I will say.

• 1:20:22Tom Segura?

  Legs were like spaghetti.

• 1:20:28Speaker 01

  Like on a date.

• 1:20:29Tom Segura?

  Yeah, on a date, bro. She's like, so what do you do?

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  So he was burned to the steering wheel. His fingers were on it. We had to pry them off. Just ash.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  You want to get dessert? You want to get something to eat?

• 1:20:42Tom Segura?

  No, I'm good. I'm good. It's nice meeting you.

• 1:20:45Speaker 01

  We just had, we just had a guy from the ER say that he had a, a patient came in. And I want, I'm not going to give it away. Cause you got to check out The Honeydew with y'all. It's five bucks a month. It's nothing. We've been doing it for probably four years now. She came in and she said, there's vines growing out of my box. And he looked at me like you did and he goes, I can tell you don't know what I'm talking about. I said, actually, I think I do know what you're talking about. I'm assuming box is her vagina. Like it's an old term, like get some box or my box. He goes, yeah. I go, what do you mean vines were growing out? And he's like vines were growing out of her vagina. And she said, they keep growing back. Every time I cut them, they keep coming back.

• 1:21:30Speaker 01

  And you ain't going to fucking believe what happened. And I also want to thank the mommies. Last time I was in here. Oh, now I'm going to get sad. Cause last time I was in here, Christina was here and I was the Hamburglar and she was that fucking gay artist for Halloween and shit or whatever. And you didn't dress.

• 1:21:46Tom Segura?

  That sounds right.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  And, um,

• 1:21:50Speaker 01

  I promoted the special and my old one, Lefty's son was just at about a million. And you guys fucking went and pushed, you pushed over that fucking limit. So thank you for that. Go watch Live and Alive. Give us some love right now. Cause I'm very proud of that. That's definitely my best work. And, um, and Christina, I love you and I hope I see you soon.

• 1:22:13Tom Segura?

  There it is. Uh, love you, man. Thanks for coming in. Uh, thank you guys for watching, listening, and we see you next week.

• 1:22:20Speaker 02

  It was good, everybody. It's Lalo Kambra here. But look, I just came on here real fast to say some, so all of you guys. All of you guys really disrespected me yesterday by commenting in my comment section, Daddy Not Gone and Daddy Joe. Bro, I already told you guys, that is real disrespectful. You guys tell me that, bro. Don't be commenting no Daddy Joe. Don't comment no Not Gone. Stop telling me Daddy Joe. Stop commenting all that stuff under my posts, you guys. I like women.

• 1:22:51Speaker 02

  I like women.

• 1:22:54Speaker 02

  Hey, what's up TikTok? It's Lalo Kambra here. Look, uh, I got a message for everybody, especially all the guys again, bro.

• 1:23:01Speaker 05

  They don't listen, bro.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  I like women.

• 1:23:05Speaker 02

  Just fart. Bro, you guys are not going to give me the fart by putting all these dog emojis in my comments, bro. I'm not a dog. I'm not a pit bull. I'm not none of that, bro.

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  Bro, just fart. Just fart. Bro, I'm a human. I have a heart and a soul.

• 1:23:29Speaker 02

  I know dogs do too, but bro, I'm a human. Nobody walks me on a leash. I'm a human, bro. I got two legs. Daddy Not Gone. Daddy Joe.

• 1:23:43Speaker 02

  I like women. Daddy Not Gone. Daddy Joe.

• 1:23:50Speaker 02

  I like, I like, I like women. Please stop trying to make me look bad on this platform. You guys stop commenting daddy under my posts, you guys, please. That's all I ask for you guys is respect, but, but like you guys go crazy, bro. I had almost 400 comments last night. All of you guys calling me daddy, bro. Come on, bro. Please, please. Daddy Not Gone, Daddy Joe. I like women.

• 1:24:18Speaker 02

  Hey, what's up TikTok? It's Lalo Kambra here. Daddy Not Gone, Daddy Joe. I like women.

• 1:24:25Speaker 05

  They don't listen, bro.

• 1:24:27Speaker 02

  I like women. Daddy Not Gone.

• 1:24:31Speaker 02

  Daddy Joe.

• 1:24:34Speaker 02

  I like women. Daddy Not Gone. Daddy Joe.

• 1:24:41Speaker 02

  I like, I like, I like women. Like somebody already needs to like, I don't know. Somebody needs to rap my thing. So they can listen, so they can know it's not a joke. Bro, stop putting this stuff on my screen, bro. I'm telling you guys, bro, cause I'm not talking to one of you, bro. I'm talking to all of you guys in my comment section, bro. Look, he keeps putting these little flying things in my screen, bro. What is wrong with you? Thank you for the follow, bro. Appreciate that. I gotta deal with these other people here, but if you're new, welcome. I just gotta deal with these other people here that don't know how to act.