471 Be True to Yourself

"Don't be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you." If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes and more at http://lewishowes.com/471 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 471, Five Minute Friday. Be true to yourself. Don't be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you. Welcome to today's episode. Have you ever heard of the crab mentality? This is the mentality of people that hold others back, that don't believe in abundance and that don't want to lift others up in the world. It's a win-lose mentality. Now, imagine a bucket full of crabs. If one crab was in a bucket, it would be able to get itself out by itself.

• 0:47Lewis Howes?

  But you put a few more crabs in that bucket, and it's not able to get out because the other crabs actually claw it and pull it back down anytime it gets closer to getting over the edge of the bucket. It will actually kill the other crab trying to get out if it continues to try to get out and doesn't stay down with the other crabs. Stay at the bottom. Negative arguing with each other, gossiping with each other, fighting at each other, and never climbing to achieve anything in life. Never trying to get out of the bucket. Now, this analogy in human behavior is claimed to be that members of the group will attempt to negate or diminish the importance of any member who achieved success beyond the others

• 1:32Lewis Howes?

  out of envy, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings to halt their progress. And I want to ask you, do you have a crab mentality? Or are you surrounded by others with this mentality? Now, there are so many reasons why we don't want to lose people in our lives. We don't want to be lonely. We don't want to be excluded. We don't want to disappoint or upset other people. We're people pleasers, right? But if we aren't willing to lose people who aren't supporting us or who have this crab mentality that just constantly want to drag you down, pull you Hit you in the gut, passively aggressive talk to you in a negative way that makes you feel unworthy.

• 2:17Lewis Howes?

  Then we are selling out on ourselves and our dreams. We are excluding ourselves, we are disappointing ourselves and we are missing out on what is possible for a once in a lifetime opportunity. If you are in this situation where you feel like others have a crab mentality around you and they constantly make you feel unworthy of going after your dreams. Here are some things you could do if you feel caught in this trap. Number one, you have a conversation about your concerns and express your request for that person's support. That person who you feel is holding you back, have a conversation and express a request. My request is that when I go after my dreams that you're supportive as opposed to always trying to tell me it's not going to work out.

• 3:02Lewis Howes?

  That's number one. Number two, you can set boundaries and make sure you don't allow yourself to get caught up in their trap. So maybe you're not ready to let go of this person, but you can set boundaries with yourself and with that person and let them know whenever you tell me something negative about my dreams, I'm going to remove myself from this situation or I'm not going to be as comfortable really hanging out with you as much. So I'm setting the boundary and here's my request. And number three, if that doesn't work, you can cut your time with them back significantly with that individual or with that group. Create more time with the people that lift you up and less time with the people that constantly hold you back.

• 3:42Lewis Howes?

  Spend time with people who believe in an abundance mindset, not a crab mentality. Spend time with people who want everyone to win around them, not the person that wants to make everyone else feel bad around them so that they feel better. This crab mentality has to go. If people are gossiping in your life non-stop, if people are saying negative things, if people have poor attitudes, if people are never taking action and all they're doing is taking action on running their mouth about what's not possible as opposed to taking action and showing others what is possible, then you don't want to spend time with them. Those individuals, you can continue to love them, to support them, to be there for them

• 4:25Lewis Howes?

  from a distance, but you don't need to allow your energy to be pulled down by this negative crab mentality. It's time to be true to yourself and eliminate the crabs in your life. It's okay to lose the people who don't get what you're up to. Just make sure you don't lose yourself. This is Five Minute Friday. Be true to yourself and let go of the crab mentality. If you enjoyed this and you know that someone would love this message, then share it with your friends, lewishouse.com/471. Or if you're on the podcast app on iTunes, just click on the little share button. You can tweet it out.

• 5:09Lewis Howes?

  You can post it on Instagram, on Facebook, and as always, tag me on your Instagram story as I have a conversation with everyone who does right there when they post the message listening to the podcast. Also, we are at 471 episodes. It's unbelievable. I can't believe we've done this many and it continues to grow and grow every single day. But we have archives of the podcast, so only 100 episodes you can listen to right now on iTunes. But you can go back to soundcloud.com/lewishouse to see the archives from the first episodes that were ever done on the School of Greatness. And we had some incredible guests in those first episodes, so make sure to head back there at some point when you get caught up with all the recent ones and go back from

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  the beginning if you've just started listening to the School of Greatness podcast. I am so grateful for you. I love you very much. You have one life. Make the most of it by lifting others up and chasing your dreams. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.