Pod Insights The MeatEater Podcast Ep. 764: The Fish Heist - A MeatEater D&D Adventure! MeatEater Trivia CLXXXII About this episode Phil Taylor guest hosts MeatEater Trivia with Spencer Neuharth https://www.instagram.com/spencerneuharth/?hl=en, https://www.themeateater.com/people/randall-williamsBrody Henderson, Seth Morris, Ryan Callaghan, Reva Hansen, and Shelby Huber.
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Transcript 14,840 words · 10 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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2:53 Speaker 02 Hey, welcome to Meat Eater Trivia, the only game show where conservation always wins. I am your guest host, Phil Taylor. And today we are joined by Ryan Callaghan, Spencer Neuharth, Brody Henderson, Seth Morris, and Reva Hansen. This is normally a 10 round quiz show with questions from Meat Eater's four verticals, which are hunting, fishing, conservation, and cooking. But what will it be today? Who's to say? But there will still be a prize with one of the players donating $500 to the conservation organization of their choosing. For the stat of the week this week, we are looking at the number 10, because that's how many pieces of fish were once stolen from a freezer here at Meat Eater HQ, with the perpetrator never being caught. We have no IFAQ this week, but Spencer, we have a little bit of housekeeping. Why don't you take that away?
3:32 Speaker 03 The grand opening of the Milwaukee Meat Eater store is Friday, September 19th. So just a couple of days after this is dropping. Doors open at 4:00 PM, event goes until 7:00 PM. There's food and beer plus free merch for the first 100 people through the door. Me, Mark Kenyon, and the Wisconsin native Chester Floyd will be there hanging out. The store is located at the corners of Brookfield. Again, 4 to 7:00 PM this Friday. Come stump us with trivia, tell us your hunting stories, show Chester your fishing pictures, make him really jealous with some musky pictures that you have on your phone. It's gonna be fun. And then the next day, we will be in Madison for the tailgate tour. So a full weekend of Wisconsin shenanigans happening soon.
4:15 Speaker 04 Oh, I'm gonna put on a couple of LBs on that loop.
4:18 Speaker 03 It'll be good.
4:20 Speaker 02 Thank you, Spencer.
4:21 Speaker 05 Beer and cheese skirts.
4:23 Speaker 02 Well, we've got a lot to get to today. I don't know how long it's gonna take actually, so let's get right into the game. Let's play the drop.
4:32 Speaker 06 Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick, a shadow on the wall.
4:42 Speaker 06 Seems a little different, Phil.
4:44 Speaker 02 A little different. It's Phil Trivia, baby. You're in the great game now. And the great game's terrifying.
4:53 Speaker 03 We have no idea what to expect. Phil specifically asked for five people here and said, "Don't snoop around the studio." So, a lot of anticipation, Phil.
5:02 Speaker 02 Let's get to it.
5:06 Speaker 02 Our story opens in the mountain town of Bozeman, Montana. It was once a humble hamlet of ski bums and college kids who liked to fly fish, but now it's filled with more than its fair share of celebrities, tech bros, and Texas expats looking to live out their Dutton Ranch fantasies on the outskirts of Yellowstone, each playing their own role and really mucking up the housing market. But more importantly to our story, Bozeman is also home to MeatEater HQ, where everyday outdoor-loving people come together to produce videos, podcasts, books, and freeze-dried stroganoff, all in the name of celebrating the pursuit of wild game and protecting the land that we all used to do that.
5:39 Speaker 03 Yes.
5:40 Speaker 02 Spencer Neuharth, why don't you remind the audience what you do here at MeatEater and just kind of give us a brief look into a typical workday? Have a specifically a trivia day when you're hosting trivia.
5:50 Speaker 03 I host trivia, so on a typical trivia day, I'm wrapping up any loose ends for the script. And yeah, then we show up here, prep the studio, which is mostly just passing out whiteboards and markers, and then usually harassing Count to see if he's going to make it or not. And then it takes about an hour to record, and then Phil takes it away from there. He does the rest. That's what a day of hosting trivia is like.
6:15 Speaker 02 Awesome. Spencer, why don't you put that whiteboard away? You're not gonna need it. Go ahead and take this 20-sided die.
6:19 Speaker 03 Okay.
6:20 Speaker 02 I want you to give that a roll. Eighteen. Eighteen, Spencer. Holy crap. You had a great day at work today. Alright. Just the best trivia questions. You know, people complained that question number ten was a fishing question, but you know, it was still just really well crafted. Uh, I'd say you had a great day. Brody, same thing. What do you do here? And what does a typical day for Brody Henderson look like?
6:42 Speaker 07 Typical day, I write books with this guy named Steven Rinella. He's, some people say he's a good writer. Um, so I write a lot. And now I'm doing a lot of, uh, like visual graphics, like artwork book for, for artwork for a book that's due in over a year.
7:04 Speaker 02 Right on. There's one for you, Brody. Go ahead and give that a roll.
7:10 Speaker 07 That?
7:11 Speaker 02 Where's it going? That's an eight. Brody, you've had better days. You woke up on the right side of the bed, but it didn't last very long. You spilled some coffee on the front of your shirt. Steve came back to you with a bunch of revisions for the book that you didn't really agree with, but hey, he's the boss. Hmm. Seth? That seems like an eight out of twenty day. Yeah. Same for you.
7:30 Speaker 05 Uh, senior photographer here at Meat Eater. Um, I do a lot of product photography, shooting white background stuff, which is just, you know, super fun. Um, there is no average day for me, honestly. Every day is a little different. I, I do trivia. I do, uh, all sorts of other photo shoots. I'll sit in on podcasts, you know, sometimes, um, some days I'm editing photos, some days I'm shooting photos, some days I'm shooting videos. Steve cut a big giant piece of fat off a buffalo carcass. Some days I'm flesh and beavers. You just never really know.
8:09 Speaker 02 Give that die a roll, Seth.
8:12 Speaker 02 Three. Oh, no. What's his mean film? It's been a rough week. Uh, Corinne asked you to film a podcast that you have nothing to do with really. Frank, it's Phil's job, but he was busy doing other stuff. Uh, there was a ton of wind. Some of the cameras died. Uh, you had to fill the video cards and said that you'd like them back on time, and he just totally forgot.
8:32 Speaker 05 I still don't have them.
8:34 Speaker 02 Ariel, Ariel has them, by the way. God, his ass whooped a trivia.
8:38 Speaker 05 This sounds like last week for some reason.
8:40 Speaker 08 I'll be familiar.
8:41 Speaker 02 Tough. It's tough for you. Cal, same for you.
8:45 Speaker 04 This morning, I wrote an article on upcoming threats to public lands. I responded to several other things I wrote last week that were heavily revised. And then I was reminded of a lot of other things that I partially finished last week and didn't complete. And that's kind of average, really. That's a one. I thought I was gonna be the lowest number. No.
9:19 Speaker 02 Cal, you accidentally ate some raw meat the night before. It was a horrible night.
9:25 Speaker 04 And it wasn't sushi.
9:26 Speaker 02 You and Snort both were up all night for separate reasons. You got no sleep. You forgot to record your podcast and Phil hounded you. And then you recorded the whole thing and then realized you forgot to hit the record button. You had to do it all over again.
9:43 Speaker 04 This is real life. Snort got so sick that I had to leave the door open so I could try to get some sleep. And then in the morning, when I woke up, she had tracked shit onto the bed. Oh. She had diarrhea so bad. Oh, no. And this was the one night where I was like, I'm gonna go to bed at like 8:30 so I can really get some sleep. So yeah, that's one. That's a one. One other 20. Yeah. Horrible. Reva, your turn.
10:13 Speaker 08 I am on the podcast team with the one and only Philium over here.
10:18 Speaker 04 Where?
10:21 Speaker 08 I edit and sound design Bear Grease and This Country Life Podcast. I publish all of the episodes of all the podcasts, all the places, and YouTube, and bug this guy about getting his ads recorded and stuff like that.
10:36 Speaker 02 Your turn, Reva.
10:40 Speaker 03 Can't be a worse day than Cal.
10:43 Speaker 02 12. 12. Not a bad day. You know, the render could have come in a little bit more on time.
10:50 Speaker 02 You know, but Cal got you his ads. Wow. You finished your work early. It's like 1pm on a Friday and just gotta wait for the trivia game coming up today. Ooh, I like it.
10:59 Speaker 07 Phil, I got a question for you.
11:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, what's up, Brody?
11:01 Speaker 07 Have these dice seen real action in Dungeons and Dragons?
11:05 Speaker 02 Uh, this may be the first time.
11:06 Speaker 03 Oh, wow, okay.
11:08 Speaker 02 Where they purchased just for this purpose. I don't know.
11:13 Speaker 02 Uh, let's see. Well, thanks, guys. Today's an exciting day at the office because not only is it a Friday, but it's also a trivia record day. And a couple of out of town colleagues, Clay and Chester are in town as well. And you know, being a Friday afternoon, most of your colleagues are out getting fueled by nature. So the office is pretty quiet. Uh, but you all make your way down to the podcast studio and run into Clay, who's just coming in the front door, arriving for the day. He's got a little meeting with Steve later. And he says, "Hey, hey, guys. How's it going? It's nice to be here. How are you?" Good, good, Clay. You guys playing trivia today? Yeah, we are.
11:46 Speaker 03 Yes, we are, Clay.
11:47 Speaker 02 I didn't get the invite, but you know, that's, that's, that's all right. What are you gonna do about it?
11:51 Speaker 03 Well, your accent's a little weird today, too.
11:54 Speaker 02 I don't know what you're talking about. It sounds exactly like I sound every single day. Uh, Chester comes down too. Says, "Oh, guys, hey." Clay, I didn't get invited to play trivia either, but I think Seth and I are gonna go up to the reservoir and get after some walleye after the game, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Clay jumps in. He's like, "You guys have room on the boat for another?" And Chester turns to him and says, "Uh..." "No, it gets kind of packed with more than, with more than two. I'm three specifically."
12:24 Speaker 02 I'm sorry, I don't know why Chester just sounded like Clay that right now. Uh, but anyway, Clay seems a little offended. Um, but at this time, Steve Rinella walks in, holding a Styrofoam cooler, comes walking by. He says, "Oh." Nice to run into you guys down here. You playing trivia?
12:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:41 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Recording at 1 o'clock, yeah. You're lucky I'm not playing or I would whip your asses. Uh, Clay turns to Steve and says, "Steve, what's in that cooler there?" It's like, "Oh, well, Chester and I just got back from Louisiana. Caught some reds. Gonna, you know, blacken them up for the family tonight. I'm just gonna throw them in this freezer. I'm gonna run upstairs and take a call, but after my call, I'm gonna grab the fish and take off. But you guys, you guys have a fun game." Oh, okay. Thanks, Steve. Yeah. Uh, so, uh, but before that, Steve asked Chester and Clay to help him get some more stuff out of his car and bring it to the freezer.
13:14 Speaker 04 Pretty standard.
13:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, pretty standard. Yeah. Uh, but now you all walk into the podcast studio. Spencer sits at the host seat and you all play a game of trivia. What I want you to do now is to roll that same die. If you got a 10 or above earlier, when you rolled for what kind of a day you had, I want you to add a 4 to this roll. If you had a bad day, 1 through 9, get a subtractive 4. Mmm. This is crazy, but Cal, you still won the game of trivia despite shitting your pants all night.
13:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
13:44 Speaker 02 And just keep turning your podcast in late. So, you know, congratulations to Cal. You did it. Hey, way to go, Cal. Uh, what conservation organization would you like to donate your $500 to?
13:53 Speaker 04 Uh, we're gonna go backcountry hunters and anglers, please.
13:56 Speaker 02 BHA. Great, great pick.
13:59 Speaker 04 Typical.
14:02 Speaker 02 Okay, well, uh, after the game, y'all head out into the hallway. Um, Spencer, you have an early dinner reservation with Shelby tonight. Yes. And, you know, since it's already nearing 5 o'clock, she just decides to meet you at the office. You can roll over together. Um, and then, you know, you can head... Oh, oh my goodness. Oh, my God, Shelby. What are you doing here?
14:22 Speaker 05 Hi. We have an early dinner reservation, so...
14:25 Speaker 02 It's crazy. Okay. Well, it's so nice of you to meet Spencer. Wow, all right.
14:30 Speaker 04 I feel like Spencer looks a little nervous.
14:32 Speaker 03 I did not know this was happening. My wife is now in the studio.
14:35 Speaker 02 This is the craziest trivia episode ever. As you all get up and file out of the studio, those of you who have email notifications on your phone, you all get pings at the same time. You pull out your phone and check it. Uh, and you open your email to find this very real email we once got from Steven Rinella. It says, "Hi all. There were about ten-ish pieces of fish from the SRME Louisiana shoot that were physically put into the freezer this afternoon, but now are gone. Did anyone move items or take items for shoots, maybe thinking it was something else? Please let me know. We will offer a reward. Twenty dollars for any info."
15:12 Speaker 03 Hmm.
15:14 Speaker 02 Well, the game is afoot.
15:18 Speaker 02 You all probably have better and more important things to do, but twenty dollars is twenty dollars. And with the office being mostly empty, uh, the list of suspects does not stretch long. What do you want to do?
15:29 Speaker 04 Find him.
15:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, let's get him.
15:32 Speaker 02 Well, you take stock of everyone in the office and by your estimation, the only people you know who are in the office today are Clay, Chester, all of you. You can look around the building. You can talk to Clay and Chester.
15:45 Speaker 03 Okay.
15:46 Speaker 04 Chester's allergic to fish.
15:48 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
15:50 Speaker 07 He might have done it out of spite, because he is allergic.
15:53 Speaker 04 And he's always supplying people with fish fries.
15:55 Speaker 03 Let's talk to Chester. I don't think Chester can lie either.
15:58 Speaker 04 No, he definitely can't.
15:59 Speaker 03 It's difficult for him. Although Clay can't really lie. Let's, let's talk to Chester like that.
16:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, you all head up to Chester's office and from down the hallway, you hear some music playing. He's practicing his guitar, something like, uh, "That's why you don't take your ex's lover to your favorite hunting spot." Uh, you all file in and Chester, "Oh, hey, guys." Oh, hey. What's the occasion? Oh, hey, guys. Yeah. How's it going? Apologies to the entire state of Wisconsin.
16:28 Speaker 02 Uh, you go, what are you doing here?
16:31 Speaker 04 Well, uh, some fish has gone missing and we'd like to come and ask if you know anything about it. You did help put fish in the freezer.
16:40 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm. And there's not many folks at the office today, Chester, so it's a short list of suspects.
16:45 Speaker 04 Well, I, I saw that email too.
16:46 Speaker 05 Coming at him strong right off the bat.
16:48 Speaker 03 No, we're just seeing what he knows.
16:50 Speaker 04 Lots of opportunity for good cops here.
16:52 Speaker 05 Yeah. Yeah.
16:53 Speaker 02 Chester turns to Seth, like, looking for a lifeboat.
16:55 Speaker 05 Did you actually put it in the freezer? Cause sometimes you, uh, forget to do things as you're doing them.
17:01 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, I, I definitely, I put it in the freezer. I mean, you can ask Clay. I was there. He, Clay can vouch for me. Um, Steve can vouch for me too.
17:08 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
17:08 Speaker 05 Hmm, alright.
17:10 Speaker 03 Alright, well, yeah, maybe we should go talk to Clay then. Or should we talk to Chester a little longer, you think?
17:15 Speaker 02 Uh, Spencer, why don't you go ahead and roll that die for me, please?
17:18 Speaker 03 I rolled a thirteen.
17:20 Speaker 02 Okay, uh, this is a little bit of an insight check into Chester. He's telling you the truth, but he's leaving something out.
17:26 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
17:27 Speaker 05 Hmm.
17:29 Speaker 02 Okay, I, I, I helped Steve bring in, bring in what he wanted and then, you know, just came up here. Write some music, that's all.
17:38 Speaker 03 Okay.
17:39 Speaker 04 So he brought in what he wanted, but not necessarily everything.
17:44 Speaker 02 I, I don't, I mean, guys, I'm, I'm allergic to fish. I don't know why you're accusing me of, of this.
17:50 Speaker 05 Did you see someone else handling the fish?
17:52 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
17:53 Speaker 02 Just Clay. You know, I, I honestly, if I, if I were you, I would go talk to, I would go talk to Clay. I, I don't know who else is here.
18:00 Speaker 00 Hey Chester, maybe you wanna, uh, come with everyone to talk to Clay?
18:04 Speaker 03 Hmm.
18:05 Speaker 00 Maybe?
18:06 Speaker 02 Uh, I, yeah, I'll do that. Let's go. Okay, so y'all get up and go over to, uh, Clay's office. Oh. Uh, what's, what's the occasion? Is this the Spanish Inquisition or what's, what's going on here?
18:19 Speaker 03 Well, Clay, uh, some fish has gone missing that Chester says he put in the freezer. Uh, so we're just trying to figure out where it went.
18:28 Speaker 05 And it sounded like, uh, you were there when Chet put it in the freezer.
18:32 Speaker 02 And Seth, go ahead and roll that die. You're gonna make a perception check for me.
18:37 Speaker 02 Ten. That's exactly what you needed. You notice that Clay does a quick side glance to Chester at the mention of the freezer. Me and Chester helped Steve bring in his fish and a couple of other things, put them in the freezer and uh...
18:49 Speaker 00 A couple other things? What else is going in the freezer?
18:53 Speaker 02 Listen, guys, I don't know what else to tell you. I mean, Chester can say we brought in the fish. Honestly, I'm a little offended this is even happening right now. I like to come into town and see you guys and not having a great time, to be honest. Did you happen to notice anybody else around the freezer?
19:12 Speaker 02 Cal, go ahead and make a, an intimidation check.
19:17 Speaker 02 Fourteen. Oh, man. That's intimidating. Clay turns to Chester. They look at you.
19:25 Speaker 02 Okay, I'm sorry. I swear we didn't take any fish, but Steve told us about some ice cream that was in the freezer that Dometic sent us, is sort of like a promotional thing. He said he didn't want us to take it, but...
19:38 Speaker 02 It's ice cream. We took, we took the Gosh darn ice cream, okay? I'm sorry. I can show you, we can bring you down there. I'll help you look for the fish. There's real sweet tooths in those mouths, too. Chester for sure. Chester looks incredibly shameful right now. Well, anyway, you guys, with the admission of the ice cream theft, Clay and Chester bring you down to the freezer. Cal, I would like for you to make a perception check.
20:09 Speaker 02 Ooh, six. Okay, well, you don't notice everything, but one thing you absolutely do notice is that your dog Snort, who you haven't seen for a couple of hours because you were playing trivia and working and she was kind of wandering around the office, you see her standing by the freezer. The freezer door is open and she, her mouth is just full of bags of food. Crackers, freeze-dried meats, jerky. She looks at you and she looks different. She looks malnourished and kind of skinny despite you just having seen her a couple hours ago. And upon seeing you, she immediately runs towards the freezer and jumps in.
20:54 Speaker 02 We should follow her.
20:54 Speaker 00 We should probably investigate.
20:55 Speaker 02 Yeah. All right, y'all congregate around the freezer and investigate. And looking in, you see no sign of Snort. But what you do see is a gaping hole at the bottom of the freezer with like, kind of a faint teal glow around the edges of the hole. And it's about as deep as the freezer and four feet wide. Okay.
21:15 Speaker 00 Well, I've canceled our reservation. We have to check this out.
21:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, we should investigate the freezer portal, for sure. So you guys are gonna dive into the freezer? Yes, yes, we are. No, we're gonna throw something in and see what happens. Oh, okay, that's a good idea. Brody, what would you like to pick up and throw in? Um.
21:35 Speaker 02 Reba.
21:35 Speaker 05 The fetuses that Corinne has frozen in that freezer.
21:39 Speaker 02 Throw those fetuses in there. All right, take a pig fetus, throw it down.
21:47 Speaker 02 You hear kind of like a sound of just like friction, like something is sliding. And it gets quieter and quieter and quieter and then disappears. Um.
21:58 Speaker 00 Can we call for Snort?
21:58 Speaker 02 I think we should go get Steve and see if he wants to take a ride down the portal. Well, Steve took off for the day. Oh, he's gone. I mean, let's be honest, if that was in fact my dog, I'd be going down. Cal's going. Okay. Cal's going. So y'all gear up to head, just, you know, completely blind into this hole that appeared into a freezer. Seems like a stupid thing to do. But before you do, Clay stops you and says, whoa, hold on, it's dangerous to go alone. And then goes to the gun safe that's over there by the freezer and opens it up. You shouldn't go in unarmed. And he opens the safe and you see kind of a strange assortment of five different weapons. You see a traditional recurve bow, a 308 Winchester rifle, a massive, just like axe for cutting down trees,
22:43 Speaker 02 two skinning knives, a machete. And then next to the gun safe, leaning against it, is the guitar signed by Co Wetzel that Co gave to Chili. And it's crazy, there are six things you can take and there's six of you. Oh, wow. It's bizarre. Okay.
23:01 Speaker 06 Well.
23:02 Speaker 03 Should we figure out who takes what weapon then?
23:04 Speaker 07 So if we decided we can't let Cal go alone now and we're all going with him?
23:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. Cal, you're probably the best traditional archery person in here.
23:12 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
23:13 Speaker 03 I would say, right?
23:14 Speaker 02 I can't imagine that's the best weapon for going into a hole with.
23:16 Speaker 03 Well, there's only six of them available.
23:18 Speaker 02 I'll take it. Cal, you'll go. Cal's taking the bow.
23:21 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
23:22 Speaker 07 I want that big ass axe.
23:24 Speaker 03 Brody wants the axe. There we go.
23:26 Speaker 00 Brody wants the axe.
23:27 Speaker 03 Uh, as the winner of the SIG shooting competition earlier this year, I should probably have the 308 since I'm the best shot in the group.
23:36 Speaker 03 What's left?
23:37 Speaker 00 There's a couple skinny knives and a machete.
23:39 Speaker 07 You know how to use a couple skinny knives?
23:41 Speaker 02 And a guitar.
23:42 Speaker 03 I can use a skinny knife. I know, I don't, I don't get. Oh, yeah.
23:46 Speaker 00 Frankly, I don't feel like a safe person with any of these options, um, so maybe I'll take the guitar.
23:53 Speaker 03 Hmm. She does not know how to play, but you can play, uh, what, what was your instrument in high school?
23:59 Speaker 00 A French horn?
23:59 Speaker 03 A French horn, yeah.
24:00 Speaker 00 Super useful going into a freezer portal.
24:03 Speaker 08 You never know when something needs to be a little bit displaced.
24:06 Speaker 03 So what's that leave Revo with?
24:08 Speaker 00 Machete.
24:08 Speaker 03 Machete. Perfect.
24:11 Speaker 00 Thank you, thank you.
24:14 Speaker 02 Seth, you got the...
24:15 Speaker 03 Skinny knives? Phil has now distributed some pieces of paper.
24:19 Speaker 00 Oh, yes.
24:19 Speaker 03 Um, that have stats on them to that goes along with the weapon we chose.
24:25 Speaker 02 Uh, everything's, I only, I put information on this sheet, uh, only pertinent information frankly about only a quarter of this is anything you're gonna use. So don't be intimidated.
24:33 Speaker 03 Hmm.
24:34 Speaker 02 I'm gonna try to make this as easy as possible.
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27:45 Speaker 02 You know, after you guys all take these weapons, you look down to the hole.
27:51 Speaker 02 Give a salute to Clay and Chester who are going to stay back. You know, someone's got to guard the freezer.
27:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:55 Speaker 02 And this ice cream's not going to eat itself. So they hang back and you all take turns heading feet first into this mysterious hole.
28:02 Speaker 03 Hmm.
28:03 Speaker 02 And after sliding down a surprisingly smooth chute of soil and loam for about 20, 30 feet, you can't help but feel the air becoming thick with moisture, even as the fear of what may await you at the bottom of the slide begins to take over. And then
28:23 Speaker 02 you land on an unexpectedly soft and foamy surface in complete and total darkness.
28:30 Speaker 03 Hmm.
28:30 Speaker 02 If everyone around here can make a perception check for me. So I'm going to roll the 20 sided die, the one that you've had the whole time.
28:38 Speaker 02 And then there is a stat listed in the blue highlighted section that says perception. I would like for you to add that number to the die and tell me what you got.
28:50 Speaker 03 Uh, in the blue area?
28:52 Speaker 07 Yeah, I don't see.
28:53 Speaker 04 Intelligence, wisdom, charisma, constitution, dexterity and strength is what I have.
28:58 Speaker 02 Those are the main ones. And then there are a little, there's some smaller texts under there. Oh.
29:03 Speaker 00 So in the wisdom, there's.
29:05 Speaker 04 Yes, under wisdom.
29:07 Speaker 00 I got a five.
29:10 Speaker 07 So what do we, we add that number to our number?
29:12 Speaker 02 Yep, to their number you got on the die.
29:14 Speaker 03 I have a 14 plus five, so a 19.
29:16 Speaker 04 Whoa.
29:17 Speaker 00 Dang.
29:17 Speaker 07 I have an 18 plus one, so 19.
29:20 Speaker 05 Hey. 16 plus three.
29:24 Speaker 02 Nineteen? I have eight total. Riva?
29:27 Speaker 00 Four.
29:28 Speaker 02 Yikes.
29:28 Speaker 00 Dang, we're not very perceptive, no.
29:30 Speaker 02 Well, other than a thick humidity and a smell of rotting, fermenting vegetation, you have really no perception of anything around you. I mean, you can't even get a sense of the size of the space you're in, as there is essentially no reverberation of sound to give you any sort of kind of subconscious echolocation. The one thing that you three notice
29:49 Speaker 03 Hmm.
29:51 Speaker 02 is that you feel almost a glow throughout your entire bodies, you know, like you just chugged like a nitro cold brew, or like a, like a five milligram gummy is just kicking in, something like that.
30:02 Speaker 03 Okay, what's that feel like?
30:04 Speaker 02 Or mountain op, ignite, perhaps?
30:06 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
30:07 Speaker 02 That as well. But Brody, you notice on the ground there, just a very faint pulsing purple light emanating from a tiny mushroom.
30:17 Speaker 03 Hmm.
30:19 Speaker 07 Spencer, what kind of mushroom is that?
30:21 Speaker 03 I, I've never seen a mushroom like that, that pulses. I mean, the closest thing would maybe be like a fly agaric, but it, it doesn't look too much like a fly agaric.
30:31 Speaker 02 I bet Shelby will eat it.
30:33 Speaker 00 Uh, no, actually, don't touch it. Spencer loves to touch a mushroom he's investigating. Don't touch that. I don't know what that is.
30:41 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah, I would rather not touch it. Maybe poke at it a little.
30:44 Speaker 00 Well, not, not with your hand, maybe like with your rifle.
30:47 Speaker 03 With the rifle, yeah, yeah, yeah, just in case it gets me.
30:50 Speaker 02 Sure. All right, you take your rifle and you give the little mushroom a poke, and then almost immediately, boom, like a ripple reverberating in a still pond, a wave of light emanates from the small, the small mushroom, and hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of mushrooms and fungal growths alight in the space with an electric iridescence. Bright at first, then dimming down into a soft glow, but it's enough to light this entire area that you're in.
31:17 Speaker 03 Okay.
31:18 Speaker 02 You stand inside a massive cavern, maybe 400 feet high. You can see the ceiling, because there's also fungal growths along the ceiling that are, uh, lit up as well. Um, but the space is so expansive, you can't see any sort of wall in any cardinal direction. Your only sense of where to go from here is a crudely cut trail right in front of you that's carved through a section of this fungal forest.
31:41 Speaker 03 Hmm.
31:43 Speaker 04 Could this be what's having adverse effects on my dog?
31:48 Speaker 08 Yeah, snort around. Have we called for snort?
31:51 Speaker 02 Cal, why don't you give me a, um, an investigation check with advantage? What that means is you roll that 20-sided die twice and you take the highest result.
32:03 Speaker 04 That's a twelver.
32:05 Speaker 04 And a five.
32:06 Speaker 02 So you take 12, you're going to add your investigation score on there, which I believe is under intelligence. If you can read, I can bring the lights up.
32:16 Speaker 04 Well, oddly enough, in both the intelligence and charisma categories, I have zeros across the board, so.
32:23 Speaker 02 Well, you know what? That's still enough. The, the, the number on the die was, the number on the die was high enough. You only needed a 12.
32:29 Speaker 04 All right, we'll take it.
32:30 Speaker 02 You get down on your knees and you notice, I mean, it's, you can't mistake it for anything else. Snorts, tracks, or right, right down this trail.
32:38 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
32:40 Speaker 08 We're gonna have to follow it. Yeah, I think we better go investigate. We gotta go get snort.
32:44 Speaker 03 We should probably be strategic about who goes first, though, based on the weapons here.
32:49 Speaker 04 No, I'm just saying, this is a serious situation because this is abnormal behavior.
32:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:55 Speaker 04 For that dog.
32:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay, maybe Cal first, no matter what, then. It's his dog.
32:59 Speaker 02 Call that a marching order, Spencer. You're on it. I appreciate it. Cal's in front. Y'all head in the single file line.
33:04 Speaker 04 Oh, all right. Progress.
33:06 Speaker 02 Down the trail.
33:08 Speaker 02 I mean, you've never seen anything like this before.
33:10 Speaker 03 No.
33:10 Speaker 02 Just an expanse of insane fungal grows and mushrooms that some look familiar, like a fly agaric or some sort of morrel looking thing, but others that look completely alien with tendrils growing off of them, that kind of are drifting in a completely breezeless and sort of there's no air movement in this space whatsoever.
33:29 Speaker 03 What's the Netflix show you like, Phil? The, uh, that has the upside down in it? What's that called?
33:34 Speaker 02 Stranger Things.
33:34 Speaker 03 Stranger Things, yeah, it feels like that a little, it kind of looks like that.
33:37 Speaker 02 It's not too dissimilar.
33:39 Speaker 04 Or The Last of Us. What, do we gotta worry about these horrors infecting us?
33:43 Speaker 02 I don't know. We'll have to find out.
33:46 Speaker 02 Uh, you know, you, even though there's not a lot of sound in here, occasionally when they get close enough, you hear this.
33:53 Speaker 02 You can only see just silhouettes of some animal you've never seen before. Oh. Looks something like a bat with just, but a wingspan of about seven or eight feet and a long tail like a fox.
34:02 Speaker 04 Sounds dangerous.
34:04 Speaker 02 Some of the fungal vines that are growing on these trees recoil as you walk past as if they can sense that you're there and don't want any, any part of you. But after about 20 minutes of following the trail, you hear a distant sound of rolling water.
34:17 Speaker 02 Hmm. And several minutes later, you arrive at a cliff's edge and the trail ends here. But you can tell it didn't used to because you can spot the remains of a rope bridge hanging directly under you and you can see posts at the other side of this canyon. It's on the other side of this cliff. As if the rope bridge was attached there and was severed and fell towards your side of the canyon. Hmm. Um, you also, you know, you notice the source of the running water. There's a relatively fast moving river that's running through the canyon and kind of curves with the canyon in the direction of the trail across the canyon. Uh, and you also notice an overturned skiff down on the shore uh, of this river in the canyon. And there's kind of an embankment about 30, 40 feet off to the side. If you wanted to get down there, you could. Uh, however, before you decide what to do about this impasse,
35:02 Speaker 02 it would be nearly impossible to miss the desecrated and mangled dead body about 10 feet to your left. Oh.
35:10 Speaker 04 I'm gonna be honest with you kids, I don't think this is about the fish filets at this point.
35:13 Speaker 05 I was just gonna say, are we still looking for the fish?
35:16 Speaker 04 We're looking for the fish, we're looking for snort. Uh, yeah.
35:20 Speaker 05 And who's dead?
35:21 Speaker 04 Well, keep in mind too, if I'm leaving the pack and we just walk for 20 minutes, we're more than a mile underground. So. Um.
35:31 Speaker 04 Seth and Brody, you guys are good skiff folks. We crossing this thing or what? How many people we got? Yeah, we should look at that dead body.
35:38 Speaker 00 Uh, are they too dead for healing word at this point or?
35:41 Speaker 02 They're, they're dead, dead. I mean, I mean, so it's.
35:44 Speaker 04 Oh yeah, I can smell it.
35:45 Speaker 02 Shelby, do you want to get closer and look?
35:46 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'll uh, get up there and like give him a little nudge with the guitar. I don't care about Chelly's guitar.
35:52 Speaker 02 Go ahead and make an investigation check. And if anyone would like to help her, they.
35:55 Speaker 00 I would love some help.
35:57 Speaker 02 She. Then they can also roll. Nineteen? Oh, set.
36:01 Speaker 00 Nineteen, that's much better.
36:03 Speaker 02 I'm not even gonna have you add your modifier there, because that is plenty. On a nineteen, uh, you notice that he is almost chewed apart completely. All the fat and muscle from every single limb is, is just, I mean, it's just ripped, ripped off of his, his body. He's been probably dead for about two to three weeks, you'd guess.
36:23 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
36:23 Speaker 02 Uh, but even with his muscle mostly missing, you still see a very large claw scratch across his back, deep. I mean, just like, it probably went through bone as well, like, that powerful.
36:36 Speaker 03 Hmm.
36:36 Speaker 00 Uh, guys, what could have done this? That's a, a pretty crazy gash.
36:42 Speaker 03 Maybe that creature that was flying around before. Maybe the intimidate, or the, the fake snort we saw. Either way, I don't think we should hang around, though.
36:49 Speaker 00 Ugh.
36:51 Speaker 02 Uh, some things you do find, though, uh, he's got a pack on him, or at least he used to. And in that pack is a letter, Shelby. Do you want to take that and read it out loud, please?
37:00 Speaker 00 Yes. Um, "I found something addressed to X. The Morgoth, Mortgoth portal is compromised. The denizens of the material plane must not discover this truth. Defend the causeway with whatever magic you have at your disposal. I've been told you have a way with fauna and flora. Do not disappoint me again. W."
37:22 Speaker 03 Whoa, okay.
37:24 Speaker 00 X and W.
37:25 Speaker 02 Some sort of mysterious missive. And also, with set that incredibly high, uh, investigation check that you helped Shelby with, you also find two potions of healing. If you would like to take any of these, you can spread them out as you, uh, would like to. You find a potion of invulnerability, which makes you, makes you take half damage from anything for, um, for an, for one minute. So, now doesn't seem the time to use this.
37:53 Speaker 02 All right. And you pass the check high enough to notice that there is a kind of nook in the stump of the tree that this this man died near. As if you're trying to hide something, you see just like a little piece of parchment kind of sticking out. And you pull out a scroll and it's just got it's got magic runes written all over it. I mean, if you were still up in Bozeman, you would not be able to read this, but something about the air. Sort of like ley line magic that seems to be emanating in this space gives you the ability to read this script. And this is a magic scroll of remove curse. Remove curse. And you also find this cloak of billowing, Seth. You can read that and tell me, and anybody who wants it can have it.
38:38 Speaker 04 While wearing this cloak, you can use a bonus action to make it billow dramatically.
38:44 Speaker 02 Wow.
38:46 Speaker 04 Okay.
38:46 Speaker 07 Wow. You better hold on to that one.
38:50 Speaker 04 Okay.
38:51 Speaker 02 All right. I mean, you've picked this area clean. So now you stand at the the edge of this cliff, a river beneath you, a boat on the shore, and a broken rope bridge out of you. Revo, what do you think?
39:03 Speaker 08 Ooh.
39:08 Speaker 08 I was thinking we hook up a rope here.
39:12 Speaker 07 That's what I was thinking too.
39:14 Speaker 04 Oh, wow.
39:14 Speaker 07 We could split up, send three across the rope and three down to the boat.
39:18 Speaker 08 Yeah.
39:18 Speaker 04 That's a good idea.
39:21 Speaker 04 Very good idea.
39:23 Speaker 02 It's a little more complicated than.
39:26 Speaker 02 But yeah, it's your guys' call. What do you want to do?
39:29 Speaker 07 It'll work for sure.
39:30 Speaker 02 Okay, let's do it. All right. So who's who's gonna be firing? I mean, you've got the bow, I guess.
39:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, I will shoot an arrow across the chasm.
39:38 Speaker 02 You're gonna attach a rope to the arrow and shoot it across the chasm.
39:42 Speaker 04 Yes.
39:42 Speaker 02 Great. I want you to give me.
39:44 Speaker 04 Something I've got much practice with.
39:46 Speaker 02 Yeah. I would like you to give me just a straight dexterity check. So you're gonna roll the 20-sided die and add just the big dexterity number that is not that's above all the other ones.
39:55 Speaker 04 Okay, that's 12 and I get a plus two, so 14.
40:00 Speaker 02 You only needed 12.
40:01 Speaker 08 Nice.
40:02 Speaker 07 Nice.
40:03 Speaker 02 It hits kind of the post that was holding up the rope bridge before.
40:07 Speaker 08 Perfect shot.
40:07 Speaker 02 Seems pretty sturdy.
40:11 Speaker 02 So who's going first?
40:13 Speaker 07 I'll, I'll climb across.
40:16 Speaker 07 I'll use it for a zip line.
40:17 Speaker 02 Cal, you tied, you tied the end of a rope to like a, just kind of a The stuff. Firm looking, yeah. Just up where the dead body is. And it seems like a pretty taut line. Who's crossing?
40:27 Speaker 07 I'll go.
40:28 Speaker 02 Brody, Brody go first. All right. I'm not even gonna make your roll, Brody. It's, it's not that tough. You hold on with both hands. You work your way across. And you make it to the other side. Are you guys all, all gonna follow this way?
40:39 Speaker 03 He made that look easy.
40:40 Speaker 07 Someone's gotta run the boat, Seth.
40:43 Speaker 00 You think we'll need the boat later?
40:45 Speaker 02 What kind of boat is it?
40:46 Speaker 00 Down to the boat.
40:46 Speaker 02 It's kind of a, a beat up looking skiff.
40:48 Speaker 00 We could always go down to the boat afterwards. I think maybe we should stick together at least until we know what we're facing here.
40:55 Speaker 07 I like split.
40:56 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think we should, I, you know, we could, but also, uh, I think I might be the only healer in the adventuring party. So maybe I'll just stick with everybody. Maybe.
41:08 Speaker 02 All right, yeah, let's go across the rope. Everyone takes turns crossing the rope. Yeah. Good job, guys. You make it over safely.
41:14 Speaker 03 Oh, that was easy.
41:15 Speaker 02 Yeah. I gave you, uh, you guys took the less obvious path and, uh, you guys are rewarded handsomely.
41:22 Speaker 07 I was just worried that, you know, Snort wouldn't have got across that. So she might've gone down by the boat.
41:27 Speaker 02 Oh, she's a swimming son of a gun, but.
41:30 Speaker 03 She's also a good jumper, though.
41:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:32 Speaker 03 She could have cleared that thing, no problem.
41:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:34 Speaker 03 Especially in this upside down world we're in.
41:38 Speaker 02 You make your way down the trail now that you're reconnected to it and you see a, a large growth of these glowing mushrooms ahead of you and a massive clearing ahead. And atop them, like a throne, is a massive black humanoid looking house cat.
41:58 Speaker 03 Oh.
41:59 Speaker 02 Hmm. It's picking its teeth, the claw of one paw and it's, and its other paw, it's holding kind of like a wriggling ball of leech like slugs all knotted together, kind of pulsing in this weird lavender color. Yep.
42:14 Speaker 00 Typical day for Seth.
42:15 Speaker 02 With these black house cats, right? The next thing you see is Snort, sitting at the foot of this throne with just a vacant, empty look in her eyes.
42:27 Speaker 07 You gonna put an arrow between that thing's eyes?
42:30 Speaker 05 I think we get Spencer with the rifle to dispatch that cat.
42:35 Speaker 03 Well, it kinda looks like Seth's cat. I don't wanna shoot Seth's cat.
42:38 Speaker 05 No, go ahead.
42:39 Speaker 03 He loves that thing so much.
42:40 Speaker 00 Does it know we're in there yet? Have we like, revealed ourselves? Has it found us?
42:45 Speaker 02 It's interesting you say that, because as soon as you enter the clearing, Cat makes eye contact with you.
42:50 Speaker 03 Oh, wow.
42:52 Speaker 02 So, was it you who turned on the lights?
42:57 Speaker 02 Just trying to have a little rest, and apparently that's not going to happen today. Come on, let's get this over with. Come in, come in.
43:04 Speaker 03 Hmm.
43:04 Speaker 00 Alright, we all file in, or at least I do. I listen to Cat.
43:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, this is a safe sounding cat. I don't think we need to kill it quite yet.
43:10 Speaker 07 I'd put a round in the chamber.
43:13 Speaker 05 Spencer's going first.
43:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, my finger is on the safe, but I haven't taken it off safe yet. I'm comfortable with this cat.
43:23 Speaker 02 Alright. Well, I knew when the beast, referring to Snort, returned all panicked, I knew that something was amiss. So I was just waiting for this moment. Let me explain. I was minding my own business up there, where you all, we all, live, when a dreadfully ugly man in a cloak stole me away into the freezer,
43:47 Speaker 03 Hmm.
43:47 Speaker 02 brought me down here, said some gobbledygook, and cursed me and turned me into this abomination, and said that, you know, in exchange for supplying me with food down here, that I would guard this trail and kill anything that tried to pass. And he gave me the command, uh, gave me this, this thing, holds a little ball of weeches in his hand, to command all of the, yeah, freaky little dudes down here.
44:08 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
44:10 Speaker 02 And after, you know, several days of him bringing me rotten fish, uh, you know, birds with sharp wings and dry mushrooms, I decided that, you know, the little ugly man in the cloak looked rather tasty himself.
44:21 Speaker 03 Oh.
44:22 Speaker 02 So, you know, it turns out that despite his poor taste in midday snacks, he was the only thing keeping me from starving. You know, I decided to create a new servant for myself after I, you know. Is he still there? Yeah.
44:34 Speaker 00 Did you kill X or what was his name?
44:37 Speaker 02 Xanator. I don't know.
44:39 Speaker 00 Ah.
44:40 Speaker 02 He didn't tell me. I only heard from others.
44:42 Speaker 00 Sure. Does this look familiar to you, Mr. Catman?
44:45 Speaker 02 The dead guy. I killed him. And I ate him and his face. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:51 Speaker 00 Starting with his nose.
44:52 Speaker 02 That's what cats do. Yeah. Well, you know, it turns out he was quite useful to me, but I had to eat something. Hmm.
45:00 Speaker 00 You seen any fresh fish lately, Catman?
45:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, funny you should say that. Normally, this little ball allows me to communicate with the things in this area. I've tried to reach out to, you know, humans like you above, and it's never worked. But a couple of days ago, I was able to connect with this thing, pointing to Snort. Uh, according to the skinny wizard, that wasn't supposed to be possible, but this life form that I connected with, uh, had somehow been marked by a creature of this realm. And he points to you and says, "Turns out that whatever scarred your pup was much more than just a simple snake." Oh. I don't know how all this works. I'm kind of new to this whole thing. I've only been here for a few weeks, but, uh,
45:47 Speaker 02 uh, now, uh, he's my servant. I'm sorry. She, she is my servant, and I'm not giving her back, and you can't make. Mmm. That fish was delicious, by the way. And from this perspective, you all look quite like mice. So what do you say we cut to the chase? She hisses, she hisses. Oh, wow. Runs up a tree, and that's where we're going to do a quick transition.
46:10 Speaker 02 During that quick break, we had everyone roll the die to see where they would go in the initiative order of combat here. Um, first to go is Brody Henderson. Brody, you've got a giant axe. You may move 30 feet. Each one of these squares represents five feet.
46:25 Speaker 04 Where am I?
46:26 Speaker 02 Hmm.
46:27 Speaker 04 Right here. Oh, just move me 30 feet forward. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. How's that? Uh-oh.
46:38 Speaker 00 Looking strong.
46:40 Speaker 02 Good start.
46:41 Speaker 08 Good start.
46:41 Speaker 02 Just sprinting towards each other. Maybe I should have put you guys closer together. Oh, well, you'll learn and you do better next time. The cat's turn is next. He's going to hiss at you once again and then run up this tree here.
46:52 Speaker 03 Oh, wow.
46:53 Speaker 02 He's not going to do anything. Let's pretend he's on the tree.
46:55 Speaker 03 Okay, he's on the tree.
46:56 Speaker 02 He's gonna be watching you.
46:57 Speaker 05 He's treed.
46:58 Speaker 02 Yes. He's the cat. The cat's a good sign. Is treed, and he is actually going to take an action right now.
47:04 Speaker 03 Okay.
47:04 Speaker 02 He's going to try to hide from you, which is something you can do as well.
47:07 Speaker 03 Oh, wow.
47:09 Speaker 02 He succeeds. So as far as you know, he went behind that tree and disappeared. You can tell on the battlefield. Right before he ran into the tree, he squeezed his little leech ball. And these mushrooms kind of sprouted out of the ground and came to life. Snort is also seemingly your antagonist currently. But you can see kind of a lavender glow in her eyes, the same one emanating from that ball of leeches in the cat's hand.
47:38 Speaker 04 Got to get that ball leech.
47:39 Speaker 03 Yes.
47:40 Speaker 00 And what did we do with that dispel curse scroll?
47:44 Speaker 02 Huh?
47:45 Speaker 00 Is Sprout cursed or a Snort curse?
47:47 Speaker 02 No. You can hold on to it. And maybe try to use it later if you want to.
47:51 Speaker 00 Oh, okay.
47:52 Speaker 02 Or not. It's up to you. Coming up next is Spencer. You're up.
47:58 Speaker 03 I want to run closer to the cat while also trying to stay behind.
48:02 Speaker 00 You don't know where the cat is.
48:04 Speaker 03 Well, we saw it go into the tree.
48:05 Speaker 02 He disappeared behind the tree.
48:06 Speaker 03 Sorry. Towards the tree. We want to go towards that tree.
48:09 Speaker 02 Okay, so you are here. You want to move as close as you can?
48:13 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I want to stay behind that tree too. So like.
48:17 Speaker 02 Oops.
48:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, there we go. Take out.
48:18 Speaker 00 Causing havoc.
48:19 Speaker 02 This is just for scale and perspective. If you guys, you guys aren't actually sleeping or dead. You're standing and you look proud and brave. Yes. Spencer, you have a long-range hunting rifle.
48:30 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
48:31 Speaker 02 Which means that unlike Brody, you can attack things from a distance.
48:35 Speaker 03 I would like to take aim at that ball of leeches that has control of Snort.
48:40 Speaker 02 Okay, first, because the cat is hiding, I need you to make a perception check to see if you can find the cat. If you do not roll a Bubby 17, you do not find the cat. Twenty! Yeah! Twenty! Holy crap!
48:54 Speaker 02 You see the cat.
48:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:55 Speaker 02 Uh, he thinks he's being sneaky, but he's not.
48:57 Speaker 03 Okay.
48:57 Speaker 00 Dang.
48:58 Speaker 02 You're better than he is.
48:59 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
48:59 Speaker 02 Um, I will tell you right now, the cat's armor class, which is the number you have to hit with your die to hit the cat, is a 12. Pretty low. Because you're trying to shoot a specific part of its body, I'm gonna add 3 to that. So you need to hit a 15. If you look at the, your yellow box,
49:14 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
49:15 Speaker 02 You're gonna roll your d20, and there's a number next to that that you add to it.
49:19 Speaker 03 Plus 4, and it's a 1, so 5.
49:21 Speaker 02 5.
49:21 Speaker 00 Ooh.
49:22 Speaker 02 And a nat 1. Means you miss no matter what.
49:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, bad shot.
49:26 Speaker 02 You'll win. Alright, next up is the... one of the mushrooms here.
49:32 Speaker 03 Mmm.
49:33 Speaker 02 This mushroom is gonna meh. He can't move very fast, so he's only going here.
49:39 Speaker 03 Okay.
49:42 Speaker 02 Seth, you're up.
49:44 Speaker 05 So what do I do?
49:45 Speaker 02 You can move, and you can attack, and if you wanna do anything else, just ask me about it, and I'll tell you if you can or can't.
49:49 Speaker 00 Those mushrooms look pretty, uh, pretty dangerous.
49:54 Speaker 05 I, yeah, I guess I just move to him, eh?
49:56 Speaker 02 Sounds like a plan.
49:58 Speaker 03 What's your weapon, Seth?
49:59 Speaker 05 I don't think there's, I don't think now's the time to do anything else.
50:01 Speaker 02 I've got skin and knives. I, I do have some da, I, I think I put a little dagger in here, but, uh, uh, we'll just keep moving.
50:09 Speaker 02 You can get probably about this close.
50:11 Speaker 05 Alright.
50:11 Speaker 00 Ooh, that's getting pretty close to that mushroom, right?
50:13 Speaker 03 You think you can throw those, or no?
50:15 Speaker 02 You can, but you can't, they don't come back to you.
50:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
50:18 Speaker 02 So, I mean, but if you hit, you can go pull, you know, you can go recover it.
50:23 Speaker 05 Okay.
50:25 Speaker 05 So now what do I do? I'm just there?
50:26 Speaker 02 Uh, your turn's basically over.
50:28 Speaker 05 Okay.
50:28 Speaker 02 That's all you can do right now.
50:29 Speaker 05 Cool.
50:29 Speaker 02 Uh, now it's the big ol' bosses, not the cat, but that mushroom with the sprout out of its head.
50:34 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
50:35 Speaker 02 Um, that is the leader of the mushroom pack.
50:38 Speaker 03 Okay.
50:38 Speaker 02 He is going to run towards Seth.
50:41 Speaker 00 Uh-oh.
50:42 Speaker 02 But I don't know if he can get close enough. Eh, nope, he's just gonna hang out there.
50:47 Speaker 03 Okay.
50:49 Speaker 02 Um, so now it is Cal, your turn.
50:51 Speaker 05 Can I shoot that mushroom?
50:52 Speaker 02 You absolutely can. Which one are you gonna aim for here?
50:55 Speaker 05 The one next to, closest to Seth.
50:58 Speaker 02 One closest to Seth? Yeah, have at it. You need to, uh, go ahead and roll that, the, the big one, the 20-sided die there, the, the red and blue one. Yep. And you are going to add a six to this roll. Come on.
51:15 Speaker 00 Here we go.
51:16 Speaker 02 Fourteen.
51:17 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
51:18 Speaker 02 That's a twenty.
51:19 Speaker 03 Done.
51:20 Speaker 02 Now you're gonna take that other pointy die you have there, that is a D8, it has eight sides on it. That is your damage die, you're gonna roll that and add a two. You can just say D8. D8. Catching on pretty quick.
51:29 Speaker 00 Yeah.
51:32 Speaker 02 One. One. Plus two. One plus two, you do three damage.
51:36 Speaker 00 Blah! There you go.
51:38 Speaker 02 Takes the hit. Darn it.
51:39 Speaker 03 Do we know how much, uh, health he has?
51:41 Speaker 02 Uh, no, you do not.
51:42 Speaker 03 Okay.
51:43 Speaker 02 Uh, coming up next is- Well, I gave him something to think about.
51:46 Speaker 03 That's right.
51:46 Speaker 00 Yep.
51:47 Speaker 02 Coming up next is this little dude.
51:48 Speaker 00 Just a taste.
51:50 Speaker 02 He's gonna charge towards Seth.
51:52 Speaker 00 Oh, no.
51:52 Speaker 03 Uh-oh.
51:53 Speaker 02 God, I should've went a different route. And make an attack against Seth, that is a fourteen Seth. Oh! This is your armor class up here, you have a thirteen, which means this little guy hits ya. But, um, wouldn't you know, these little mushrooms aren't that strong, deals one damage.
52:09 Speaker 03 Oh.
52:10 Speaker 02 Here are your hit points, you currently have seventeen. Yep. Go ahead and erase that, write a sixteen for me.
52:14 Speaker 03 And you just like stubbed your toe.
52:17 Speaker 02 I don't have a, I don't have an eraser. I brought pencils.
52:21 Speaker 00 Woo!
52:21 Speaker 02 Pass them down.
52:24 Speaker 02 So I got a sixteen? You got, yep, you lost one hit point, seventeen goes down to sixteen. Shelby, you're up. Here.
52:32 Speaker 00 Okay.
52:32 Speaker 02 Just in case.
52:33 Speaker 00 I'm gonna try to get, like, hide behind the tree that's closest to big bad mushroom, or I get as close as I can.
52:43 Speaker 00 Is that my whole turn, or can I, like, ready?
52:45 Speaker 02 This is as far as you can go, Shelby, if you wanna hide, you can hide behind this tree.
52:48 Speaker 00 I'll hide behind that guy. Yeah. Okay.
52:53 Speaker 02 What about, what happened to Reba?
52:55 Speaker 00 She's last.
52:57 Speaker 02 Oh, she's la- oh, sorry, there you go.
53:00 Speaker 00 And then Dunzo?
53:02 Speaker 02 No, you can cast a spell.
53:03 Speaker 00 Okay.
53:04 Speaker 02 You can actually take the hide action to hide more effectively behind that tree.
53:09 Speaker 00 I... Could I ready a spell instead, just in case Seth?
53:14 Speaker 02 You absolutely can. What spell would you like to ready? Holy cow, Shelby using the lingo here.
53:19 Speaker 00 Look at me. Um, I would like to ready Healing Word.
53:26 Speaker 02 All right, and use it on Seth?
53:28 Speaker 00 On Seth, if he gets...
53:29 Speaker 02 If he gets hit again?
53:30 Speaker 00 If he gets, yeah, messed up.
53:32 Speaker 02 Thanks. Remember that. Remind me. Awesome.
53:35 Speaker 03 I'll just put Seth out of his misery if this doesn't work. I've got the rifle.
53:39 Speaker 02 Great. You guys have a plan. It's this little guy's turn.
53:45 Speaker 02 He only gets nothing about this far. Can't quite reach Seth. Just kind of rolls around there. Looks very pitiful doing it.
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57:17 Speaker 02 Reva, you're up.
57:19 Speaker 08 Ooh. What do I do, roll?
57:21 Speaker 02 You can, no, you can move 30 feet, six squares. Or you, and then, you know, you're kind of far away. If I were to do this again, folks, I would have put the players closer to the combatants. So, yeah, I'll just have you move up.
57:40 Speaker 00 Okay.
57:40 Speaker 03 Perfect.
57:41 Speaker 02 Nice. Alright, we go back to the top of initiative, Brody, that's you.
57:45 Speaker 07 I'm gonna run up and chop up that mushroom that Cal put an arrow in.
57:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
57:54 Speaker 05 We look like we're getting our butts handed in.
57:57 Speaker 00 You're looking a little bored.
57:58 Speaker 02 It's just a big hole in the table. There's a little disarray. Mm-hmm. Uh, Brody, go ahead and roll that 20-sided die for me.
58:04 Speaker 07 13.
58:05 Speaker 02 13? You think you add a 4, that's a 17, you absolutely hit. Now you're gonna roll that 12-sided die there, the one with the Pentagon face, and you're gonna add a 2 to this.
58:14 Speaker 07 12 plus 2.
58:16 Speaker 02 Nice, holy cow, 14 damage.
58:18 Speaker 07 Is that a dead mushroom?
58:19 Speaker 02 Not quite, but he's looking, he's looking rough now.
58:28 Speaker 02 Alright, it is now...
58:31 Speaker 02 The cat's turn.
58:32 Speaker 07 Oh.
58:32 Speaker 00 Oh no.
58:33 Speaker 02 The cat is going to come out of hiding even though it was spotted by Spencer.
58:39 Speaker 02 It can long jump 25 feet.
58:41 Speaker 05 Oh wow.
58:42 Speaker 00 Oh no.
58:43 Speaker 02 And then it's going to come around the side here.
58:45 Speaker 05 Face to face with Spencer.
58:47 Speaker 02 And it's going to take an attack.
58:50 Speaker 05 Mmm.
58:54 Speaker 02 That is an 18, Spencer, I believe that hits you.
58:57 Speaker 00 Yeah, it does.
58:57 Speaker 03 Oh wow, my armor class is a 15.
59:01 Speaker 02 Alright. That deals 7 damage to you.
59:04 Speaker 07 Oh!
59:05 Speaker 03 So 7 off of the 15, or 7 off of my hit points?
59:08 Speaker 02 Your hit points.
59:08 Speaker 03 Okay, so 15 off of that, you said?
59:11 Speaker 02 Yep.
59:11 Speaker 03 Got it. I have...
59:13 Speaker 00 No, not 15, 7.
59:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, 7 off of your hit points, your current hit points.
59:18 Speaker 03 Got it, so then I'm at 17?
59:20 Speaker 02 Yes.
59:22 Speaker 03 Okay.
59:23 Speaker 07 Flash wounds, Spencer.
59:24 Speaker 02 Spencer, it's your turn.
59:26 Speaker 03 Okay, I need to wheel around and aim at this cat who now, like, has me in a Hugh Glass grizzly bear situation. It's like on top of me and I'm gonna take aim at it.
59:37 Speaker 02 Okay, I, I, I will say you have to be, to get proper aim with your rifle, you need to get some distance on this cat, otherwise you're gonna be rolling with disadvantage, which means you roll twice and take the lower number. If you move out of its attack, uh, it may try to swipe at you though.
59:50 Speaker 03 Okay, can I move to the other side of the tree that were around? Is that good enough or not?
59:55 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah, you can do that.
59:57 Speaker 03 Okay.
59:57 Speaker 02 I will say the cat will still take, I mean, you're still moving out of his, his attack range, so he's gonna attack you.
1:00:02 Speaker 03 Hmm, okay. I, you know what? You've convinced me Phil, I'm gonna move further then. I need to get away from this cat. Uh, move me, I'm gonna do all thirty, I'm just gonna get away, I'm gonna get over in this scrum. I wanna be by these guys, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:00:15 Speaker 03 Yep. Okay. We now have three of our fighters, uh, among all of the mushroom warriors.
1:00:20 Speaker 02 I'll take a nap, the cat's gonna, uh, swing at you again and he misses when he, when you move out of, out of the way. Oh, there you go. I think you gotta kill that big mushroom, Seth.
1:00:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, uh, but Spencer, you can still take your action. See, you can shoot, you can shoot at the cat now if you'd like.
1:00:34 Speaker 03 Um, I'm, I'm gonna finish off that big mushroom.
1:00:37 Speaker 02 There you go.
1:00:37 Speaker 03 How about, let's do that.
1:00:38 Speaker 02 Okay, let's see what happens here. Go ahead and take, take the shot.
1:00:41 Speaker 03 Roll the D20?
1:00:42 Speaker 02 Yep, D20.
1:00:43 Speaker 03 D20, a one.
1:00:44 Speaker 02 Oh! He misses again! Rough stuff for Spencer.
1:00:48 Speaker 03 Who gave me this rifle?
1:00:51 Speaker 02 Uh, now it's gonna be this other big mushroom's turn.
1:00:53 Speaker 03 That was so bad, maybe I hit someone in our party.
1:00:57 Speaker 02 I'm not gonna be that mean here, first time playing D and D here. Uh, this mushroom runs over to, um, I'm gonna say runs over to Brody.
1:01:07 Speaker 02 Cause that big axe is freaking him out.
1:01:09 Speaker 03 Hmm.
1:01:10 Speaker 02 And he misses. Whoa! So now it is Seth's turn.
1:01:16 Speaker 02 So what's going on with these mushrooms now? One? They're, just pretend all of your guys look totally badass standing up and the mushrooms are coming at ya. Alright, so what's the mushroom that's hurt the most? The one with the stem. Yeah.
1:01:28 Speaker 07 He's the leader of the mushrooms also.
1:01:30 Speaker 02 You can absolutely stab, you can actually stab it twice because you are using-
1:01:35 Speaker 03 Seth is gonna Julian the mushroom.
1:01:38 Speaker 02 I wanna come right, right at the base. Alright, go ahead and roll that, that D20, the, the big one you've been rolling.
1:01:45 Speaker 04 20.
1:01:45 Speaker 02 Matt 20, that's a critical hit. Which means you double the amount of dice you roll. So, but for a knife, isn't a lot of dice, but you can attack twice. So you're gonna roll this.
1:01:56 Speaker 02 Really quick here. Which is a d4. D4. Yeah, that's right. So this is his damage he's doing? This is his damage he is doing, and he gets to double it. Only a one. That's a 2 plus 2, that's 4 damage, and then you can attack again with the d20. The big one, roll that again.
1:02:15 Speaker 02 19. Oh my goodness. Roll the d4 again, and we're not gonna add anything to this one. That's a 2, it's 2 more damage. Yay. Okay. So that is 6 damage. He is... Is he dead yet? If he takes 1 more good hit, he will be toast. Okay.
1:02:32 Speaker 02 Speaking of toast, we should cook them, though. Once we kill one of these things. Yeah, absolutely. Maybe we can get some mushroom powers, yeah. Alright, so now it is the almost-dead mushrooms' turn. He is... Kind of freaked out. I think he's gonna try to run away from you guys. He is surrounded on all sides.
1:02:48 Speaker 02 And so, Seth, you can take an opportunity attack as he moves away from you. If you hit him, you could potentially kill him. If you roll a 4. So roll the d20 first. See if you hit him. 6, I do not believe you do. Nope, you miss. But he's still just, the mushroom's gonna run away as far as possible. Uh, Cal, it's your turn. Can I shoot that mushroom? Absolutely. Roll the d20.
1:03:16 Speaker 02 Shit, fire, 7. 7. Uh, you still add 6 to that roll, because you've got a totally... Or no, no, you've got the bow. Oh wait, yeah, you got the bow. You add a 6, so that hits. So you're gonna roll that d8, and add 2 to it. You know, uh, let's see. 4, 6, total. He had 6 HP left.
1:03:37 Speaker 02 Goes through the cap on his head, and he falls limpless to the ground. Can we cook that thing there real quick? Alright, we got one. Uh, yeah, we'll put it in the cooler. So his minions don't, when the leader dies, his minions don't die? Apparently not. No, but you are aware that the cat's holding a weird-looking ball of goop in its hands that may have something to do with... I know, but I felt like we needed to follow through on what we started. Honestly, that was smart, because that mushroom, uh, could have really messed you guys up. Hmm, okay, good. There we go. Alright.
1:04:06 Speaker 02 It is now the sad little mushroom's turn.
1:04:10 Speaker 00 What's Snort up to? She's been chillin'.
1:04:12 Speaker 02 Seeing its dad. Yeah, Snort is just kind of staring there.
1:04:16 Speaker 00 Okay.
1:04:17 Speaker 02 Still in a trance. Diarrhea just going everywhere. It's dad die and now is going to take revenge, but is going to come after Spencer because it is the closest target. Misses. Okay. It is now Shelby's turn.
1:04:35 Speaker 00 Uh, okay, I can't really attack with anything except spells, so, uh, could I do vicious mockery?
1:04:44 Speaker 02 Yes, vicious mockery is a lot of fun. Basically, you just make fun of the enemy and make them feel bad about themselves.
1:04:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, we're gonna beat you up, you tasty little mushrooms. Uh, we're gonna fry you in a pan and gobble you down.
1:05:00 Speaker 02 Which mushroom are you gonna attack?
1:05:02 Speaker 00 Uh, the, the one that's closest to me, I guess. The guy going after Brody.
1:05:09 Speaker 02 Uh, the, the little one or the big one?
1:05:12 Speaker 00 The big one.
1:05:12 Speaker 02 Great. He makes his saving throw. Uh, so, um, yeah, I believe that does not do anything.
1:05:22 Speaker 00 Okay, well, I just made fun of a mushroom for fun.
1:05:25 Speaker 07 That's okay.
1:05:25 Speaker 02 He's still, he's still blushing. Uh, this little guy. Where's the other little guy? Here he is. Is going to attack Seth because he's right there.
1:05:38 Speaker 04 Why not?
1:05:39 Speaker 02 And Seth, Mrs. Seth again. These guys are not rolling great. Uh, Riva, it's your turn. Riva, go chap that kitty's paw off.
1:05:49 Speaker 07 Yeah, someone's gotta engage the big bad.
1:05:52 Speaker 00 You think it's the machete's job?
1:05:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly.
1:05:55 Speaker 00 I was thinking the mushroom sounded good for the machete.
1:05:58 Speaker 02 Cal's trying to sacrifice you.
1:06:01 Speaker 02 No, I can give you, can I give Riva a potion of invulnerability? Absolutely, you can. You can drink that as a bonus action, Riva, so you can still do your whole turn if you'd like to. You can, that means you take half damage for the rest of the fight. But you have to go kill that cat. That's the deal, Cal made with you.
1:06:18 Speaker 00 Okay, let's go for it.
1:06:19 Speaker 02 All right, Riva drinks the potion. She's feeling her, her skin quadruples in thickness. It's really weird. She looks, she looks swollen. And then she charges the cat. Uh, Riva, go ahead and roll that d20 for me. You're adding a four to this roll.
1:06:35 Speaker 08 Eight. Plus four is twelve.
1:06:37 Speaker 02 Twelve, and you're attacking the lion. Are you going for the paw? Or the lion, or the cat in general? Go for the throat.
1:06:47 Speaker 02 Get the paw!
1:06:48 Speaker 08 Let's go for the paw.
1:06:50 Speaker 02 Okay, uh, you do miss. Oh! Dang. Sorry, Revo. It's alright. Brody, you're up.
1:06:58 Speaker 07 Um, I can't move far enough to run over there and attack that cat, can I?
1:07:04 Speaker 02 Uh, where are ya? It's right here, he's just sitting over there. Yeah, he's got it.
1:07:10 Speaker 07 Alright. I'm gonna, I'm gonna-
1:07:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, you got it.
1:07:13 Speaker 08 Oh yeah!
1:07:15 Speaker 07 I'm gonna-
1:07:15 Speaker 02 The cat's broadside to him.
1:07:17 Speaker 08 Rock him!
1:07:18 Speaker 02 Go ahead and roll that d20, Brody.
1:07:21 Speaker 07 Nineteen.
1:07:22 Speaker 02 Oh, that absolutely hits. You're gonna roll that d12. You're gonna add two to this roll, and Brody, I will say that something about the magic in the air and watching Snort, just kind of skinny and lifeless on the other side of the cavern, gives you a sense of rage you haven't felt in a long time. You may add two to this damage roll.
1:07:39 Speaker 07 Awesome. Six.
1:07:42 Speaker 02 Six, plus two, or is that with the plus two?
1:07:44 Speaker 07 No, it's six total.
1:07:46 Speaker 02 Oh, six plus two, but I'm gonna, you get to add another two. Four plus two, plus another two. Um, so that's eight. Don't worry about it, I'm doing the math. The, uh, the cat takes eight damage. Okay. Nice.
1:08:04 Speaker 02 Alright, it is now the cat's turn. Uh, he was not very happy about this, Brody, he's gonna swipe at you twice.
1:08:11 Speaker 07 Okay.
1:08:11 Speaker 02 Hmm.
1:08:12 Speaker 07 I can handle it.
1:08:12 Speaker 02 Misses the first one.
1:08:13 Speaker 08 Oh, good.
1:08:14 Speaker 02 Second one hits.
1:08:17 Speaker 08 Uh oh.
1:08:21 Speaker 02 Where's my d8?
1:08:25 Speaker 02 Alright, deals six points of damage to Brody and go ahead and take away six points. From your hit points.
1:08:32 Speaker 03 That was the cat's turn?
1:08:33 Speaker 02 That was the cat's turn, Spencer, you're up.
1:08:35 Speaker 00 What are you at, Brody?
1:08:36 Speaker 02 Twenty-one.
1:08:37 Speaker 00 Oh dang.
1:08:38 Speaker 03 Uh, these mushrooms are lined up nice, I'm gonna try to shoot both of them. I could, with one shot, I could, I think I could get both mushrooms.
1:08:43 Speaker 02 You absolutely can. You wanna, so you wanna move around? Oh, you mean this one?
1:08:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, those two, I wanna shoot both of, I mean, if I could, probably move back here and go for a threefer.
1:08:54 Speaker 02 Yeah. Uh, make that John Wick. Spencer, I'm gonna allow it.
1:08:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:08:58 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:08:58 Speaker 02 I'm allowing it.
1:08:59 Speaker 03 All three mushrooms, it's like, imagine three Canadian geese. You know, like a couple turkeys.
1:09:04 Speaker 00 Did he roll with advantage because he's the, the Sig Champ too, Phil? Maybe, we're getting squirrely here.
1:09:11 Speaker 02 Don't get greedy, Sheldon. He backs up, lures them into a line.
1:09:14 Speaker 03 Uh-huh.
1:09:15 Speaker 02 I will say this is a very important roll though, but Spencer, I will say, um, uh, same thing with Brody, something about what's going on in this cabin right now. You mark these prey.
1:09:24 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:09:24 Speaker 02 I would say one of them, you can add, you can roll a D6 to add to the damage roll. But first, let's see if you hit.
1:09:31 Speaker 00 You gotta roll.
1:09:31 Speaker 03 So roll the D20, the D20 is a 12 plus 4, 16.
1:09:36 Speaker 02 You hit every single one with a single bullet.
1:09:39 Speaker 03 Alright.
1:09:40 Speaker 02 What's the damage die on there, Spencer?
1:09:42 Speaker 03 Uh, I'm sorry, you want me to roll this?
1:09:43 Speaker 02 For the, for the rifle?
1:09:45 Speaker 03 Oh, it's plus 4.
1:09:46 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, no, no, you hit, I mean, the, the damage, so you're gonna roll a D10? Cause I don't think you've hit anything yet, it's your first time. You're gonna add a, a D10, you're gonna add a 2 to this.
1:09:54 Speaker 03 Uh, so, 36.
1:09:55 Speaker 02 And then you're gonna add the, the normal die, the, the D6?
1:09:59 Speaker 03 6.
1:09:59 Speaker 02 12 damage. These little guys vaporized.
1:10:04 Speaker 00 Yay!
1:10:04 Speaker 03 Okay, two of the three mushrooms have just died on the battlefield.
1:10:09 Speaker 02 And the other one is looking rough.
1:10:12 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:10:13 Speaker 02 Uh, Cal, you're up.
1:10:14 Speaker 03 Wounded.
1:10:14 Speaker 02 I'm gonna shoot that cat in the eyeball.
1:10:16 Speaker 00 Yes!
1:10:17 Speaker 02 Great, go ahead and roll. The big die, the big die. Uh-oh, 4, yeah, that's not gonna hit.
1:10:25 Speaker 03 He hit Brody.
1:10:26 Speaker 02 I hit other dice, so, damn it. Uh, this guy, dead, this guy, totally dead. Shelby, it's your turn.
1:10:33 Speaker 00 Okay, uh, we're getting down, I'm gonna try vicious mockery again.
1:10:37 Speaker 02 Do it.
1:10:38 Speaker 00 On this, this medium-sized mushroom, uh, my husband just vaporized your buddies and now we're gonna eat you.
1:10:45 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:10:46 Speaker 02 Great. He hates it.
1:10:48 Speaker 00 He hates it.
1:10:50 Speaker 02 Unfortunately, he saves.
1:10:52 Speaker 03 Oh.
1:10:52 Speaker 02 Sorry, Shelby.
1:10:54 Speaker 03 This is a good mushroom.
1:10:55 Speaker 02 Uh, Re- Reva, you're up.
1:10:58 Speaker 00 Okay, let's uh, let's go after the cat again.
1:11:00 Speaker 02 Do it.
1:11:00 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:11:01 Speaker 02 Roll the big die.
1:11:05 Speaker 00 Seven.
1:11:06 Speaker 02 Seven. You add a four to that, I believe.
1:11:08 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:11:09 Speaker 02 So you do not hit, but something... You feel like you might be able to swing again, Reva. It's called an action surge.
1:11:14 Speaker 00 Ooh.
1:11:15 Speaker 03 Alright.
1:11:17 Speaker 02 Nineteen!
1:11:18 Speaker 00 Nineteen.
1:11:18 Speaker 02 Nineteen that absolutely hits. So you're gonna roll the damage die, you're gonna roll a d6, and you're going to add two to this.
1:11:24 Speaker 00 The red one, the red one.
1:11:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:11:28 Speaker 00 One.
1:11:29 Speaker 02 Mmm. That's three damage. The cat is looking rough. Alright!
1:11:33 Speaker 00 Hey!
1:11:33 Speaker 08 Hey!
1:11:34 Speaker 03 Little mangy.
1:11:36 Speaker 02 Brody, you're up.
1:11:38 Speaker 07 Um, is he still holding those slugs?
1:11:40 Speaker 02 Absolutely, yes.
1:11:41 Speaker 07 I wanna chop the hand off that's holding those slugs.
1:11:43 Speaker 02 Alright, I will say you need to hit a fifteen to chop the hand off.
1:11:46 Speaker 07 Okay, I can do it.
1:11:47 Speaker 00 Let's go.
1:11:49 Speaker 07 Oh, I missed.
1:11:51 Speaker 02 Yep, it's not gonna do it. Uh, who is up next? It is the cat's turn. Brody, he doesn't like you, he's gonna swing at you again. That misses. That hits. You take...
1:12:05 Speaker 02 Four damage.
1:12:07 Speaker 07 I'm still good.
1:12:08 Speaker 00 Hey, Brody's tough.
1:12:11 Speaker 07 This is how fights go.
1:12:12 Speaker 02 Spencer.
1:12:14 Speaker 03 My turn, um, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna turn from where I'm standing and fire at the cat. With my 308.
1:12:19 Speaker 07 Don't hit me, Spencer, you haven't been hit much lately.
1:12:23 Speaker 03 Uh, sixteen.
1:12:24 Speaker 02 That hits.
1:12:25 Speaker 03 Plus four, so that's a thirty twenty.
1:12:28 Speaker 02 Then roll your damage die, which is the eight, or the ten, that's a ten, yeah.
1:12:33 Speaker 03 One.
1:12:34 Speaker 02 Dang, you guys are really... But then you add-
1:12:36 Speaker 03 Chipping away!
1:12:37 Speaker 00 He hits two.
1:12:38 Speaker 02 Uh... Yes, yeah, two, and you know what? I will let you move the, your, your hunter's mark to the cat, so you can add a d6 to this as well.
1:12:45 Speaker 00 Oh!
1:12:46 Speaker 03 Okay, so I'm rolling a regular dice of five.
1:12:49 Speaker 00 There you go.
1:12:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, so what's the total here?
1:12:52 Speaker 03 Oh, uh, six total.
1:12:53 Speaker 00 No, no, no, no, plus two, eight.
1:12:57 Speaker 02 Cool.
1:12:57 Speaker 03 What am I?
1:12:59 Speaker 02 This cat is bleeding and looking horrible.
1:13:00 Speaker 03 Mmm. Been shot in the liver.
1:13:05 Speaker 05 He's sick.
1:13:06 Speaker 07 Yes.
1:13:08 Speaker 02 Uh, who is up next? It is this mushroom's turn. Who's not looking great, but is gonna come after Seth.
1:13:17 Speaker 02 And is going to try to stun you. Seth, I need you to make a, roll this, the d20. You're going to add a number to it. Go ahead and roll it first. You don't even need to add the number. You succeed. You try to, you see a puff of spores come out of the mushroom.
1:13:36 Speaker 05 Oh.
1:13:36 Speaker 02 And you hold your breath and turn your head and you do not inhale.
1:13:39 Speaker 04 Maybe it's time to billow your cloak dramatically.
1:13:42 Speaker 05 What's that do?
1:13:44 Speaker 02 You'll have to, you wanna use your bonus action, do it?
1:13:48 Speaker 07 You got it.
1:13:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, sure.
1:13:50 Speaker 02 Okay, you throw on the cloak and seemingly from out of nowhere, a magical gust of wind rolls behind you, whips the coat, makes a cracking noise. And this mushroom falls down prone. Oh!
1:14:03 Speaker 07 Okay.
1:14:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:04 Speaker 07 Knocked him out.
1:14:04 Speaker 04 Number one stunner.
1:14:06 Speaker 02 It's not dead, it's just lying down, which means whoever attacks it next gets advantage.
1:14:10 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:14:10 Speaker 02 With a melee weapon.
1:14:12 Speaker 04 Nice.
1:14:14 Speaker 02 The radio live sounds again, I apologize.
1:14:16 Speaker 04 I love it.
1:14:18 Speaker 05 That's the sound of that mushroom in distress.
1:14:20 Speaker 07 That's right.
1:14:21 Speaker 04 That's right.
1:14:22 Speaker 02 Uh, Cal, you're up.
1:14:23 Speaker 04 Shooting the cat.
1:14:24 Speaker 02 Shoot the cat, Cal. If you hit this cat is dead. I will let you know that right now. Three! Magic!
1:14:32 Speaker 04 Oh, nice.
1:14:34 Speaker 02 Unfortunately, the hand slam does not count.
1:14:37 Speaker 07 You know, Cal, with them trad bows, the idea is to get close first. You might, you might have to get closer.
1:14:43 Speaker 04 Oh, it's a big kitty.
1:14:44 Speaker 07 Shelby.
1:14:46 Speaker 00 Okay, well, uh, I don't have a melee weapon, so I'm just gonna let someone else finish off that mushroom. And can I do dissonant whispers on the cat?
1:14:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, you can.
1:14:56 Speaker 00 Do it.
1:14:57 Speaker 02 Do it. So let's see, I think this cat needs to make a wisdom saving throw. A saving throw is a roll of the dying, which someone is something, or someone is trying to protect itself. Save it, throw a die to save yourself.
1:15:08 Speaker 07 Okay.
1:15:09 Speaker 02 13, it succeeds.
1:15:11 Speaker 00 Damn.
1:15:11 Speaker 02 Sorry, Shelby.
1:15:13 Speaker 00 I'm just...
1:15:13 Speaker 02 These monsters are rolling pretty well when they're trying to defend against things. Yeah. Uh, Riva, you're up.
1:15:21 Speaker 04 Come on, Riva.
1:15:23 Speaker 03 We need one more hit on that cat, Phil declared.
1:15:26 Speaker 08 Okay, okay. Let's go for it. Get him.
1:15:31 Speaker 02 Two. Not gonna do it, Brody.
1:15:35 Speaker 07 First off, I'm gonna suck down this potion of healing.
1:15:38 Speaker 02 Do it.
1:15:38 Speaker 07 So I need a four. I need a four side.
1:15:40 Speaker 02 Yes. You rolled two D. Roll that twice and add a two to it, and that's how much health you get back.
1:15:45 Speaker 07 That's four?
1:15:46 Speaker 02 Nice.
1:15:49 Speaker 02 I have one. Plus two, it's a seven. You get seven health points back.
1:15:52 Speaker 07 I'm right back where I started.
1:15:53 Speaker 02 And that's only a bonus action, so if you'd like to, uh, come at this cat again, you may do so.
1:15:58 Speaker 07 Oh, yeah. I'm going, I'm gonna chop his hand off again.
1:16:00 Speaker 02 Alright, give me a D20 roll. Let's do it.
1:16:04 Speaker 07 Oh, bummer.
1:16:06 Speaker 02 God! But you, but I think you get to add some stuff to that.
1:16:10 Speaker 07 How do you tell if it's a nine or a six?
1:16:12 Speaker 02 If the, if the period is, um, the period shows you like the end of the sentence there, so if it's at the bottom.
1:16:18 Speaker 07 Nine plus, what do I add? Hit this?
1:16:20 Speaker 02 Uh, with the axe, you add a four, so that's a thirteen. Are you going for the hand or the body?
1:16:27 Speaker 07 Let's just finish him off. I'll just, anywhere I can hit him.
1:16:30 Speaker 02 You raise your axe, and Brody described to me how you, um, destroy this cat who, uh, has...
1:16:36 Speaker 07 Vanquish is the term I prefer.
1:16:38 Speaker 02 Vanquish the cat?
1:16:39 Speaker 07 Yeah.
1:16:40 Speaker 02 Who took our, our, our snort girl prisoner.
1:16:43 Speaker 07 Yep. It's off with his head. Can we take his head off?
1:16:47 Speaker 02 Definitely.
1:16:50 Speaker 02 Brody swung. Alright! The cat is dead. It's been decapitated. At that, the ball of leeches rolls out of the paw. The mushrooms fall. Limp and lifeless. And Snort seems to come back to attention. She noticed, she hears the whistle. Runs to you with a fervor you've, uh, only seen maybe once or twice on a good, on a good bird hunting day. Or at dinnertime. Or at dinnertime. Something else happens as well.
1:17:18 Speaker 07 Crap on your comforter.
1:17:21 Speaker 02 At the death of the cat, you hear a rumbling. Hmm. Up above you, you see a bunch of morel-looking fungi fall from the ceiling. Oh, boy.
1:17:31 Speaker 02 They're not that heavy. One even hits Shelby on the head and she barely feels it. But they all open a crevice, opens from their sort of body and just shrieks.
1:17:42 Speaker 04 Whoa.
1:17:43 Speaker 02 Probably thirty or forty mushrooms screaming at some sort of banshee wail. It is deafening. It shakes the cavern. Rocks start to collapse. Oh no, we gotta get out of here.
1:17:54 Speaker 04 Hmm.
1:17:55 Speaker 02 What are you gonna do?
1:17:55 Speaker 05 Grab the leeches and head for the skiff.
1:17:57 Speaker 04 Yep.
1:17:57 Speaker 05 We're going fishing.
1:17:58 Speaker 02 Well, the skiff is.
1:18:01 Speaker 04 Good tagline, too.
1:18:02 Speaker 02 That is good. You all sprint down the trail. You get back to the rope that Cal shot across the canyon. You make your way across. The cavern is collapsing before you and you get back and you see the hole that you came out of. You can't get back up. Snort with some residual magic she still has left in her, barks and the portal, a portal appears right in front of her. You guys are looking out the bottom of the meat eater freezer. Uh, at the ceiling. Hmm. What do you do?
1:18:28 Speaker 04 Can we flip the skiff over and see if the fish fillets are in there?
1:18:34 Speaker 02 You run back to the skiff, flip it over. Oh my, there's like a basket of red fish and drum and oh, it's incredible. Still frozen. Still frozen. You take it, you go back across. Yeah, and then you jump through the portal. You all come pouring out back into the meat eater kitchen. Uh, where Clay and Chester.
1:18:52 Speaker 04 Covered in ice cream.
1:18:54 Speaker 02 That's right. Dicky. You covered in blood and weird fungal grows and Clay and Chester covered in ice cream. Look at you completely bewildered. Clay turns to you and goes, what the [bleep]? And then.
1:19:07 Speaker 02 You, you all, uh, it's, it's insane. Clay explains that you, uh, you jumped down there and came back only seconds later. Ah. Time must move more weird. It does. In that realm and that describes why, uh, Snort might have looked a little bit more funky.
1:19:22 Speaker 04 Steve attacks, found your fish.
1:19:24 Speaker 02 Hmm. Perfect. Uh, at that moment, you hear kind of some quick footsteps coming down the hallway. And you see Corinne. And she's holding a kennel and she looks at you panicked and goes. Has anyone seen my cat?
1:19:37 Speaker 02 And that's all for this episode of Mead Eater Podcast. Thank you. Apologies to Spencer, Clay, and Chester, and the entire Mead Eater Podcast Network. Thank you for watching. Bye bye.
1:19:50 Speaker 09 Yeah, Spencer from South Dakota, he's the host. Using those smooth mellow tones, he lays them questions down.
1:20:03 Speaker 09 And he likes taking those two and three-year-old bucks.
1:20:08 Speaker 09 And he's an avid amateur. Rockhound.
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Previous Ep. 763: Landscape and Murder in the Mississippi Delta Next Ep. 765: Chain Reaction Roadkill, the Elk Rut, and Harsh Truths | MeatEater Radio Live! Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated