Jordan Jensen & Butt Too High

Comedian Jordan Jensen joins us in the studio. We chat Jamie's Hawaii adventure, recognizing hot people, Hasidic dudes, WikiFeet update, poppers, a Whitney Cummings dream, triangle of danger, ironic lesson. Pre-Order NEW MERCH https://tigerbelly.myshopify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopk4drG2jugv8hsY6C9xb9xXUHMLh5O-dx7XMoP-lX5os6ck1fT Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/BELLY and use code BELLY and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit www.hims.com/belly https://www.hims.com/belly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Buy smart, drive for less, and trade for more. That's Toyota affordability. And it all starts with a great deal on a truck from your local Toyota dealer. Make a smart buy on the off-road ready Tacoma or half-ton Tundra. Two of Toyota's most capable and longest-lasting trucks. Built with the strength for the tough jobs, the tech to power your next big adventures, and the rugged style for everything in between. Or discover Toyota's off-road lineup, including the iconic Forerunner and Land Cruiser, designed to go beyond the everyday. And with Toyota's proven reputation for quality and reliability, plus available hybrid power on many models, you can get more for every mile and drive for less along the way. And long after you leave the lot, your Toyota keeps delivering the great resale value.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  So you could trade in for more when you're ready for your next Toyota. From a great deal today, to a great value tomorrow. A Toyota is right for you. Shop toyota.com for deals and details. Or stop by your local Toyota dealer today. Toyota, let's go places.

• 0:59Bobby Lee?

  Be the Helix here for your sleep. Baby, watch your sleep, babe. Hey, Helix. For your sleep. Helix. Anyway, Helix, man, I, my sleep has improved dramatically since I've been sleeping on a Helix mattress. Improvements, A-OK, number one. Has your Helix mattress upgraded your bedroom home? Yes, it has. Every room in my house is elevated to a beautiful, comfortable sleeping place. For one, human beings and other living beings can sleep on, you know? You can personalize it, can you not?

• 1:32Speaker 02

  You can. So for instance, me, like, I'm a hot sleeper, but I also like to sleep on my side. So I got matched with a Helix Midnight mattress. And then I'm like, you know what? I wanna, I wanna upgrade a little bit, and I got the luxe version of that. So I sleep like a baby.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  The happy with Helix guarantee, rest easy with seamless returns and exchange and 120-night sleep trial.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  Is it award-winning?

• 1:54Speaker 03

  It is award-winning. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  Guys, go to helixsleep.com/tigerbelly for 20% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com/tigerbelly for 20% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com/tigerbelly.

• 2:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, baby.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  We got shirts in the building.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  We got shirts all day long.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  We got shorts too in the building.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  And that's awesome.

• 2:37Speaker 00

  Hey, Colelila, where can I buy this stuff?

• 2:41Speaker 02

  Slapkingdom.com.

• 2:43Speaker 00

  One more time.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Slapkingdom.com.

• 2:47Speaker 00

  Third time's a charm.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Slapkingdom.com.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  Are you into, would you ever be into Dom?

• 3:47Bobby Lee?

  I don't like Dom and age.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  Dom stuff?

• 3:48Bobby Lee?

  I don't like, I don't like Dom and age. I don't like being tied up.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  No, that's not, that's the bondage, it's different.

• 3:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I don't like being whipped.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  No, that's not even it.

• 3:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I don't like, um, black leather.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  It doesn't have to be that.

• 4:00Bobby Lee?

  Okay. I, I, they need to be like in colorful colors, like, you know?

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:05Bobby Lee?

  Like one piece.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  But then she's like, "Do what I say."

• 4:09Bobby Lee?

  And "Do what I do."

• 4:11Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 4:11Bobby Lee?

  "Do what I say, do what I do, don't do it if you don't want to do."

• 4:14Speaker 02

  Bend the knee.

• 4:15Bobby Lee?

  Bend the knee? I would not bend the knee.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  "Eat my asshole."

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Who's? Mine?

• 4:20Speaker 00

  Jaime's, Jaime's asshole.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  Eat Jaime's asshole.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  Jaime's asshole.

• 4:23Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. I would not be able to eat Jaime's asshole.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  Why?

• 4:28Bobby Lee?

  Because I don't like. I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  It's gonna break your mouth, man.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 4:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't wanna break my mouth.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  You wanna talk about where you just came from?

• 4:36Speaker 03

  I came from Hawaii.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  Oh, you're trying to say broke the mouth.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Broke the mouth, man.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah? How long were you there?

• 4:44Speaker 03

  We're there for, we're supposed to be there for three days, but we fell in love and we stayed there for a week.

• 4:49Bobby Lee?

  You and who? Ralph?

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:51Bobby Lee?

  And the crew?

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:53Bobby Lee?

  And where'd you stay? Where'd you stay?

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Honolulu.

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  Honolulu.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  What's the city called?

• 4:58Speaker 03

  Waikiki.

• 4:59Bobby Lee?

  Waikiki.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  And then we stayed at the Khalyla Resort.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, the Khalyla Resort.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  The Khalyla?

• 5:06Bobby Lee?

  What's it called?

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Khalyla?

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Kahala.

• 5:08Bobby Lee?

  Kahala, oh, I know the Kahala.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  Is that the one with the dolphin?

• 5:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Four dolphins, it's so sad.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 00

  Dolphins?

• 5:15Speaker 02

  But that's, that is a nice.

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Good meals, or?

• 5:18Speaker 03

  Oh, good meals.

• 5:19Bobby Lee?

  Where'd you go?

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Moco Loco, I had Moco Loco.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Other way around.

• 5:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Oh. Well, I had Moco Loco. Oh, Loco Moco. I think you said, okay.

• 5:29Bobby Lee?

  I wanna try Moco Loco. Yeah, yeah, I've never had that before.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Loco Moco.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Moco, um, boogers in Spanish.

• 5:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, wow. Um, any ladies say hi to you?

• 5:40Speaker 03

  I wasn't, that's not what life's about, man.

• 5:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I don't know, tell me about life, because I don't know. I, I, that's, that's what I thought life was about, but, okay, tell me.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Ladies, man, I was there to speak with the natives and talk to them about what's going on in Hawaii.

• 5:55Bobby Lee?

  The energy?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  I understand.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Wait.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Hawaii, man.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  Sad.

• 6:02Bobby Lee?

  It's, whoa, tell me about the history.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  America, man.

• 6:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, colonization.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  You're right.

• 6:07Bobby Lee?

  Colonization, dude. It's so sad.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Really sad.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  Who goes there to get a Chanel bag?

• 6:12Bobby Lee?

  I do.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  For real, you have Chanel here?

• 6:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, no, I don't go.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  We went on a hike, Diamond Head.

• 6:18Speaker 00

  He didn't finish it, he didn't go to the top.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  He didn't? No, it's one of the easy.

• 6:21Bobby Lee?

  He didn't go to the beginning, he didn't go to the beginning.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  We had poke.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Where'd you get poke from?

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Uh, can't remember.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  You like it?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  It was a bunch of us.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Wait, did you like it? Cause you don't even eat sushi.

• 6:33Bobby Lee?

  Acai bowls?

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Acai, matcha.

• 6:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Coke, water.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  The Coke cans are different out there.

• 6:41Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 6:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they are a little different.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Why is it Kalana?

• 6:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Is that you? Is that you right there?

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I went to a luau.

• 6:50Bobby Lee?

  You went to a luau?

• 6:51Speaker 03

  There's no place around me.

• 6:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, there he is.

• 6:54Speaker 00

  Look at the girl's face, though.

• 6:55Bobby Lee?

  Look at your ass trickle, dude. That's very Hawaiian. Look at that, dude.

• 7:02Bobby Lee?

  You look like King Pia Pia or whatever.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Oh, Kumu.

• 7:05Bobby Lee?

  Kumu.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Kumu is teacher.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Okay, it's amazing.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  Hey.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  It's my AMC ticket, sorry.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Gil weird.

• 7:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, man.

• 7:13Bobby Lee?

  Wow, so.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Got flip flops now.

• 7:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah?

• 7:16Speaker 00

  Have you seen his feet?

• 7:17Speaker 02

  Slip us.

• 7:18Bobby Lee?

  Can I see your feet? I've never seen your feet before.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  No, man.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  Bobby loves it.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Can I see? Can I see, Jaime?

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, they're so white.

• 7:30Bobby Lee?

  They're gardening feet.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  You got white feet?

• 7:32Speaker 02

  There's like no callus. Soft little baby feet.

• 7:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you do.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Wait, what else? What, what, what lingo? What, did you learn any like pidgin?

• 7:40Speaker 00

  I sent you a text of the things you wanted me to.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Broke the mouth.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Good.

• 7:46Speaker 03

  Uh, uh, how's it? How's it going, brother? I spoke to a native at the surfing.

• 7:51Bobby Lee?

  How's it going, brother?

• 7:52Speaker 00

  Stop saying native.

• 7:53Bobby Lee?

  Wait, how's it going, brother? You learned that there? I've never heard that before.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  How you doing, brother?

• 7:57Bobby Lee?

  How you doing, brother? Wow, that's real pidgin.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  The, he's local?

• 8:03Speaker 02

  You could, if he's native, like Kanaka Maoli, like then he's Hawaiian, or you can just say local, someone who's from there.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  They hate tourists.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  They do.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  They hate people who move there. Just cause you, you get up and move with your wife and kids, and you have kids over there, does not make you Hawaiian.

• 8:17Bobby Lee?

  I know, dude.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Tell that to some people.

• 8:20Bobby Lee?

  Who do I tell? My friend Ken? Ken Smith is out there. Hey Ken, your baby ain't Hawaiian, dude.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  He's American.

• 8:28Bobby Lee?

  He's American, dude. Even though Hawaii is America.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  No, it's not. It's Kingdom of Hawaii. Come on Bobby.

• 8:33Bobby Lee?

  It's not the 50th state?

• 8:35Speaker 03

  It's not, man.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  It's not. That's right, I mean.

• 8:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so we only have 49 states in America. Well, I had no idea.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  Because we stole it, you know?

• 8:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. We stole Alaska too.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:45Bobby Lee?

  No, we didn't?

• 8:45Speaker 00

  We paid for it.

• 8:47Bobby Lee?

  We paid for it?

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:48Bobby Lee?

  Alright, okay. Let's pay for Hawaii. How much is Hawaii?

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Can't afford it.

• 8:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Hawaii should just send a cease and desist. I don't know.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 8:58Bobby Lee?

  That's right.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  Separate from America.

• 9:00Bobby Lee?

  What about a war? A civil war?

• 9:02Speaker 03

  They can win.

• 9:03Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 9:04Speaker 03

  They got spears.

• 9:06Bobby Lee?

  They do. What else do they have as a weapon?

• 9:08Speaker 03

  They might lose, but I'll stand with them.

• 9:11Bobby Lee?

  You could chuck a coconut?

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, I saw how they break a coconut.

• 9:15Speaker 00

  So excited.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  Oh, the fire, man!

• 9:19Bobby Lee?

  What are you?

• 9:20Speaker 03

  And some...

• 9:20Bobby Lee?

  Same with one thing. Let's...

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 9:22Bobby Lee?

  Coconut and then fire.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  The luau. The luau, man.

• 9:25Bobby Lee?

  Okay, the luau, man, what? You're saying man a lot.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Because if you were there at the luau, you'd learn a lot. Polynesian.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Did you go to PCC? The Cultural Center?

• 9:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Oh. Because you kind of learned a lot. A lot of people just go there and they walk away like not knowing anything about anything.

• 9:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  No, I mean, I was paying attention.

• 9:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  But everybody else...

• 9:50Bobby Lee?

  Would you live there, you think?

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Could I live there? I would not move there.

• 9:53Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 9:54Speaker 03

  Because it would like disrupt the...

• 9:56Speaker 02

  This is the reason why you cannot stay at my place anymore.

• 9:59Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 10:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, look at... Oh my god, oh my god.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  I don't look like you're touching my head, dude.

• 10:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:13Speaker 02

  Can you replay it for EJ, please?

• 10:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch EJ.

• 10:17Speaker 00

  You watch EJ learn.

• 10:18Bobby Lee?

  Learn.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  I wish you could hear the volume.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  It's blank.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  It's so pointy.

• 10:31Bobby Lee?

  Did you not know he was naked?

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Is that your first time seeing Bobby?

• 10:33Speaker 02

  That's why you can't stay at my place anymore.

• 10:36Bobby Lee?

  I can stay naked in your place.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  But also, there's a baby now, you know what I mean?

• 10:40Bobby Lee?

  Alright, right, I won't do that with the baby.

• 10:41Speaker 02

  Naked Uncle Bob.

• 10:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, that's right.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  With all of us, it's fine, but you know.

• 10:45Bobby Lee?

  That's a crazy video.

• 10:47Speaker 00

  There's so many of these videos, I was going through all footage.

• 10:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  I have so many of those.

• 10:52Speaker 00

  There's a part, I think you rested your penis.

• 10:54Bobby Lee?

  What's startling is I'm hot, so fat.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't think so.

• 10:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you didn't?

• 10:58Speaker 00

  You still look good there.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. And your penis actually looked like fluffy.

• 11:04Bobby Lee?

  I've always had a fluffy penis, it's never changed.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  No, like, it's like swollen.

• 11:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  There we go.

• 11:09Bobby Lee?

  It gets beat up every night.

• 11:12Bobby Lee?

  By Alfonso.

• 11:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you named your kumo?

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Kumo?

• 11:19Bobby Lee?

  Kumuu?

• 11:19Speaker 02

  What is kumo mean?

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Uh, source, teacher.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Teacher.

• 11:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, and your hand is your source, right? And you teach the little one down below.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:27Bobby Lee?

  Right? Like you're gonna get a paddle on your fucking turn.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Shrimp chips. I mean, you could get them here, bud.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  Shrimp crackers.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  I don't have those.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  I think that's what you mean by shrimp chips. Oh, shrimp.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  I think he just had shrimp, like.

• 11:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, shrimp.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Oh, straight up shrimp. Like, from the truck, like?

• 11:44Speaker 00

  No, I mean, they're, we call them shrimp chips, but they are shrimp crackers.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  They're shrimp crackers, that one, right?

• 11:49Speaker 03

  No, I don't have those.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  Or the big circle ones?

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, the big ones.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Those are good.

• 11:54Bobby Lee?

  But they're crispy?

• 11:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:56Bobby Lee?

  It's a chip, then?

• 11:57Speaker 03

  It's a chip.

• 11:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  A cracker.

• 11:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Not a cracker, okay. What's the difference between a shrimp and a cracker?

• 12:03Speaker 00

  Well, I can tell you the difference.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  A cracker is supposed to be saltine, and then a chip is a salt cracker.

• 12:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  And by the way.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Hey, the Blue Note's pretty cool.

• 12:17Bobby Lee?

  The club?

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Is that where Ralph played?

• 12:19Speaker 03

  Ralph and Renee.

• 12:21Bobby Lee?

  Renee played the Blue Note.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Blue Note's fun.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Big stage.

• 12:24Bobby Lee?

  Pretty big stage, I played it.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Tough, well, I was hosting, so.

• 12:27Bobby Lee?

  It's a tough crowd.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:29Bobby Lee?

  Is she here? Yep. Okay.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  I was supposed to come back from Hawaii to here, but I was like nah, we just enjoy Hawaii.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  I can't hear nothing, I just hear music. She's trying to tell me something Bobby.

• 12:49Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Hey.

• 12:51Bobby Lee?

  You know, your attitude, it's gotta change right. No, man, no, man, no, man. What, what, put your hands down, man.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  It's gonna take me wherever the wind takes me, you know what I mean?

• 13:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay, alright, dude.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  You know, I was trying to use the restroom, but there's no, um, public restrooms in the beach in Hawaii. So one of the surfer dudes, he's like, the restroom's, it's in the ocean, man, go poop in there.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, make like an ooh-hoo.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Make ooh-hoo, is that a poop?

• 13:16Bobby Lee?

  Do you ever?

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Make like an ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo is like a parrot fish and they like, you can see when they shit in the water.

• 13:21Bobby Lee?

  Is it okay to poo in the ocean?

• 13:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Uh, depends what you're doing, I wouldn't go there.

• 13:26Bobby Lee?

  You're pooing.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  As recreational pooing.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 13:30Bobby Lee?

  I go in the ocean to poo.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  I, okay.

• 13:32Bobby Lee?

  Like, I have to take a shit, I'm laying out, I gotta go to the ocean to poo.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  If it's like a 911 emergency.

• 13:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Situation.

• 13:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  And I'm already in the ocean, like diving.

• 13:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Yes, I will probably, um.

• 13:45Bobby Lee?

  So then why is it wrong when I take, I do it when I take a bath?

• 13:49Speaker 00

  Dude, that's a.

• 13:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Why is it one is right, the other one is wrong?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Let's ask Jordan.

• 13:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I pee in the, um, um, cold plunge.

• 14:03Speaker 00

  Who's cold plunge?

• 14:04Bobby Lee?

  At the, at the spa.

• 14:06Speaker 00

  Oh my.

• 14:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  How often?

• 14:08Bobby Lee?

  Because I'll tell you why, can I tell you why though?

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Why?

• 14:11Bobby Lee?

  There's this Korean man there, I'm about, I'm about to kill this man. I'm gonna kill this Korean man.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Which spa is this, the same?

• 14:18Bobby Lee?

  I can't tell, because I don't wanna get in trouble, if they listen, okay? But I'm gonna kill this man, I'll tell you why. What I like to do is I like to go to the dry sauna, stea-, no, steam room, dry sauna. As soon as I get out of the dry sauna, I wanna go straight to the cold plunge. But there's a Korean man there that goes, take a shower first.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Oh, I hate those.

• 14:36Bobby Lee?

  Right? So then I have to take a shower, which takes the heat away.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 14:40Bobby Lee?

  Right? So then what I do is I just pee in the fucking cold plunge, cuz I know he likes to go in there.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  After you.

• 14:46Bobby Lee?

  You after me, yeah.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  I kind of don't disagree with you.

• 14:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  There's like this.

• 14:51Bobby Lee?

  It's called FX.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Well, no, because they do that sometimes, like, you know, public swimming pools, say, for instance, like, very, like, highly strongly chlorinated. And there have been times where, one time Bobby and I were straight up just denied because he was, remember that, at the Castle Pool Park?

• 15:07Bobby Lee?

  That's right. We were denied.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  He, he was wearing, like, Nike, uh, like, like sliding shorts instead of Speedo trunks, which basically, it's like Lycra and Lycra, it's like the same shit, like, same material, right? But because it said Nike instead of Speedo, she was like, "I'm not gonna let you swim in there, you're, like, wearing inappropriate whatever," and I was like, "Lady." I'm like, "This is the same thing I'm wearing, like, he's fine."

• 15:29Bobby Lee?

  Well, yeah, what did we have to do? We, we left, right? We didn't come back. Yeah, that was unfortunate. What an unfortunate day.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  But, um, over there, they're like.

• 15:38Bobby Lee?

  I can't speak today. I don't know what's going on today, dude.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  It's me, man.

• 15:41Bobby Lee?

  I can't think.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  Hey, the tattoos, what do they mean?

• 15:44Speaker 02

  This is Filipino, this is Hawaiian.

• 15:46Bobby Lee?

  I think it's him.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Can I tell you?

• 15:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:48Bobby Lee?

  It's got me rattled.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  It's educational.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  He's a new man.

• 15:52Bobby Lee?

  I, I don't like it.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  He cares about.

• 15:53Bobby Lee?

  A lot of confidence.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Pauline.

• 15:55Bobby Lee?

  He doesn't know shit!

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Yes, I do, man.

• 15:57Bobby Lee?

  No, you don't, you don't know shit about Hawaii!

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yes, I do.

• 16:00Bobby Lee?

  You come here with your fucking.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  You say it's America, you say it's a state of America, it's not a state.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  He even knows about the Hawaii, the, the housing crisis over there, that's why he was like, "I would never move there."

• 16:09Bobby Lee?

  He doesn't know about the housing crisis.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Housing, housing.

• 16:15Bobby Lee?

  Snap!

• 16:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god. Yeah. She's on New York time, everybody!

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Hi, oh, hi, love.

• 16:23Bobby Lee?

  You're on New York time?

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 16:26Bobby Lee?

  Hi. Hi.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Are you alohaing, everyone?

• 16:30Speaker 03

  Yeah. Hey, whose dog is this?

• 16:33Speaker 03

  It's confused.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  It's fake grass, but.

• 16:38Bobby Lee?

  She gonna take a shit?

• 16:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she's just.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  She's fine, she's.

• 16:43Bobby Lee?

  No, she's not, she's not stupid. Can I have that? Yeah, take it, take it.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 16:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:48Speaker 00

  You want another one, Bobby?

• 16:49Bobby Lee?

  No, I, I have this. I mean, I wrote a song and no one's listening and all the things are happening. This is okay.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  You know how good the song was, is that it, like, became narrative?

• 16:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  Know what I mean?

• 17:00Bobby Lee?

  Like, poetry talking over, I think, yeah, yeah, spoken word.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Became a part of my life.

• 17:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:12Bobby Lee?

  Something like that. But anyway, yeah, it's not working, but um.

• 17:15Speaker 05

  Did you sing on the comedy jam the other day?

• 17:16Bobby Lee?

  No, I didn't even show up.

• 17:18Speaker 05

  Great.

• 17:18Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you why.

• 17:19Speaker 05

  Why?

• 17:20Bobby Lee?

  I went to the LF, LAFC game.

• 17:22Speaker 05

  I saw that.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  You met Sonny?

• 17:23Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 17:24Speaker 00

  You met Sonny?

• 17:24Bobby Lee?

  No, but I took a photo of him. He was like right there. I took a photo of him.

• 17:28Speaker 05

  What is LAFC?

• 17:29Bobby Lee?

  It's a soccer team.

• 17:31Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 17:31Bobby Lee?

  And I was standing there with Steven Yeun and dumbfounded and the Asian guy from Dexter. What's his name? I love him. What's his name? I talked to him so much. I love him. Lee?

• 17:43Speaker 00

  Oh, he's great.

• 17:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's his name? Lee?

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Vince Masuka.

• 17:47Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not him, dude.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is.

• 17:49Bobby Lee?

  That's not his name, dude. His name is, that's his.

• 17:53Speaker 00

  Character name.

• 17:53Bobby Lee?

  That's his character name.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  We were talking about Dexter.

• 17:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What's his real name?

• 17:56Speaker 00

  C.S. Lee.

• 17:57Bobby Lee?

  C.S. Lee. Yeah, yeah. C.S. Lee. I love him.

• 18:00Speaker 05

  You like him?

• 18:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 05

  What about him?

• 18:02Bobby Lee?

  He's a good actor.

• 18:03Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 18:03Bobby Lee?

  And he's this kind guy. But every time I see him, I, I, I, his name just kinda, you know, but he's a talented guy.

• 18:10Speaker 05

  Well, C.S. is not a name.

• 18:11Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. It's like, yeah, J.F. Harris.

• 18:13Speaker 05

  If you said my name is Lee.

• 18:14Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 18:15Speaker 05

  You remembered that.

• 18:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Anyway, um, congratulations.

• 18:19Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 18:19Speaker 00

  Congrats.

• 18:19Bobby Lee?

  What am I, congratulations on?

• 18:22Speaker 05

  Yeah! Because, which one?

• 18:26Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 18:28Speaker 05

  I got my name at the wall.

• 18:29Bobby Lee?

  That's what I mean.

• 18:30Speaker 05

  And my special is now out.

• 18:31Bobby Lee?

  Now out.

• 18:33Speaker 05

  Cause you're holding.

• 18:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And it's where, where, where can you?

• 18:36Speaker 05

  Netflix.

• 18:36Bobby Lee?

  Netflix. Check out Jordan Johnson's Netflix special. It's out now.

• 18:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  But the name, I saw your name on the wall. And how do you feel about that?

• 18:46Speaker 05

  By the ground. How low it is to the ground.

• 18:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, there, everyone's on the ground.

• 18:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Do you want a different placement? I can make that happen.

• 18:54Speaker 05

  I would like a different.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Can you choose?

• 18:56Speaker 05

  Mm-mm.

• 18:56Bobby Lee?

  I don't think so. But I could ask.

• 18:59Speaker 05

  I like the idea that it's, it's, if somebody could take their penis out and pee on it and I could take a picture of that. If we could do that.

• 19:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:05Speaker 05

  And make a Calvin and Hobbes style.

• 19:07Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 19:08Speaker 05

  You know how Calvin pees on the floor?

• 19:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand it all.

• 19:11Speaker 05

  Um, I'm right next to Matt Rife, two beautiful lesbians next to each other.

• 19:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:15Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 19:16Bobby Lee?

  Rife, um, Di, who else is on there? Uh.

• 19:20Speaker 00

  Cranky.

• 19:29Bobby Lee?

  PrizePix.

• 19:32Bobby Lee?

  PrizePix. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. You wouldn't have to make decisions every day. But on PrizePix, being right can get you paid, buddy. Don't miss any of the excitement this season or on PrizePix, where it's good to be right. PrizePix is simple to play. Just pick more or less on two to six player stat projections. And if you get your picks right, you could cash in.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  PrizePix is also the best way to get action on sports in more than 40-plus states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. PrizePix puts their users first, so with all the draws, they're fast, safe, and secure.

• 20:06Speaker 06

  PrizePix invented the flex play, which means you can still cash out if your lineup isn't perfect. You can double your money even if one of your picks doesn't hit. What do you guys think if Jaden Daniels is against Green Bay next week? Will he get more or less than 225 pass yards?

• 20:21Bobby Lee?

  I've been thinking about this for 24 hours. And, um...

• 20:24Speaker 02

  My guess is less.

• 20:25Bobby Lee?

  My guess is more.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 20:26Speaker 06

  Okay, I'm going more. Uh, let's go, uh, Aaron Rodgers against Seattle, more or less than 212 pass yards?

• 20:32Bobby Lee?

  I love the Rodgers family.

• 20:33Speaker 06

  More. More?

• 20:34Bobby Lee?

  I see less.

• 20:35Speaker 00

  Kalala?

• 20:36Speaker 02

  I see less.

• 20:36Speaker 00

  Mmm.

• 20:37Speaker 06

  Okay, we're going less. And last one, Brock Purdy against New Orleans. Uh, 231, more or less pass yards? More.

• 20:45Speaker 00

  That's your team, Kalala.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  I say more.

• 20:47Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 20:48Speaker 06

  All right, we've got our lineup.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  Download the app today and use code BELLY to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code BELLY to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, it's good to be right.

• 21:08Bobby Lee?

  You guys, Andre Agassi, pretty good look, but it could be better.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:13Bobby Lee?

  And no one plans for hair loss, I'll tell you that right now. But through Time and Hims, you can take the next step with confidence. Access treatment made with clinically proven ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil to stop hair loss and regrow hair in three to six months. No waiting rooms, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no hoops. No, just ingredients with a track record of results.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  So if you're starting to notice thinning hair, Hims... Offers a hundred percent online access to prescription treatments for regrowing hair in as little as three to six months, so you can see a fuller head of hair by fall. No hidden fees, no surprise costs, just real personalized care on your schedule. Think of Hims as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self with simple a hundred percent online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns, all in one place.

• 21:58Speaker 06

  You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Hims brings expert care straight to you. With a hundred percent online access to personalized treatments, you put your goals first.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss, and more, visit hims.com/belly. That's hims.com/belly for your free online visit. Hims.com/belly.

• 22:21Bobby Lee?

  Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information.

• 22:36Bobby Lee?

  Frankie.

• 22:38Speaker 05

  Frankie.

• 22:38Bobby Lee?

  Q. Nunes, yeah, big one. Frankie's a good big one.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  Frankie Nunes?

• 22:42Bobby Lee?

  Frankie Q. Nunes? You don't know him?

• 22:44Speaker 05

  Frankie Munoz?

• 22:45Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. You have a problem with Hispanics?

• 22:48Speaker 05

  No.

• 22:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:49Speaker 05

  Wait, did I meet Frankie last night? Is he a big guy?

• 22:51Bobby Lee?

  No, he's a little tiny guy, bald. He's-

• 22:54Speaker 02

  He plays Cholo, the fit creeper. Cholo Fit.

• 22:57Speaker 05

  I don't know any of the LA stuff. We don't know each other's stuff.

• 23:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know this guy?

• 23:04Speaker 05

  Yes, I do.

• 23:07Bobby Lee?

  But he's, um-

• 23:08Speaker 05

  There he is. I know that guy. This is what I know, is the white with the blue eyes. One of God's creatures.

• 23:14Bobby Lee?

  He is a great kid.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  Although Munoz-

• 23:16Bobby Lee?

  Frankie Munoz?

• 23:16Speaker 05

  That sounds a little Latino.

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 05

  Munoz? Could be Italian.

• 23:20Bobby Lee?

  Because when he was on Malcolm, I was on Mad. Bigger show, Malcolm, obviously.

• 23:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but a bigger star, obviously. But we, um, you, all the press junkets and stuff. So that's how I got to meet Frankie Munoz. Let's move on from that.

• 23:37Speaker 05

  He's nice.

• 23:38Bobby Lee?

  He's a kind kid.

• 23:39Speaker 05

  Really?

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, kind man, no.

• 23:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, man.

• 23:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:41Speaker 05

  I think I would get along with Shia LaBeouf.

• 23:44Bobby Lee?

  He's great.

• 23:44Speaker 05

  I think he's extreme in a way that I might find refreshing.

• 23:47Bobby Lee?

  You would, you would love him.

• 23:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think so.

• 23:49Bobby Lee?

  Because he's so kind, too. If he likes you, he's just so, have you met him?

• 23:52Speaker 05

  Is he too kind? Is he eye contacty kind, where they like have obviously taken a seminar on communication?

• 23:57Bobby Lee?

  No, he's like, come on, you guy, look, hey, man, you're killing it. I love you, man.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  But what you're talking about is really scary, the ones who've taken the seminars.

• 24:06Speaker 05

  You've been to those, on those dates with those dudes where they're like, you can tell that they're not listening to what you're saying. They're just practicing how to be a human person.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  And they say your name a lot, Jordan?

• 24:15Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, they say the name a lot.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  It's like the car salesman tactic.

• 24:18Speaker 05

  Oh, my God, it's exactly that. It's really brutal.

• 24:20Bobby Lee?

  Teach me.

• 24:21Speaker 05

  It's like where you're looking at them and you're like, how long have you been playing piano, Bobby? Nice to know. Where did you grow up, Bobby?

• 24:27Bobby Lee?

  Can I try?

• 24:27Speaker 05

  It's, yeah. Can you open your eyes a little bit more?

• 24:32Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 24:35Speaker 05

  Nope, well, stay, look at me.

• 24:37Bobby Lee?

  I know, but I want the camera to know that what I'm doing, my acting work.

• 24:40Speaker 05

  You need to buy the shoes with the pointy toes.

• 24:41Bobby Lee?

  Look, Tom Hardy, right?

• 24:43Speaker 05

  Really good.

• 24:44Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 24:44Speaker 05

  Really good.

• 24:45Bobby Lee?

  How long you been doing standup, um, Jordan? Um, that's great.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  There's no ums. Yeah, you're not cocky enough.

• 24:52Bobby Lee?

  I can't give it another shot.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  These guys don't.

• 24:54Bobby Lee?

  I, I think, I, could I not do the eye thing?

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:57Bobby Lee?

  Because I'm concentrating on the eye and then it's fucking up my fucking verbal. All right, you sit.

• 25:03Bobby Lee?

  I have to be cocky?

• 25:03Speaker 05

  And nodding.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, and also just like really confident, like obnoxiously confident.

• 25:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, how long you been doing comedy?

• 25:10Speaker 05

  No, I can tell, you're weak.

• 25:11Bobby Lee?

  What? I was, I was so confident.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Can I try?

• 25:15Speaker 05

  Yes, please.

• 25:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Hey, how long you been doing comedy?

• 25:18Speaker 05

  No, you're genuinely want to know, and I like that about you.

• 25:20Bobby Lee?

  Dude, dude, yeah, yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  I think you can do it.

• 25:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:24Speaker 05

  Okay, here we go.

• 25:25Bobby Lee?

  Mike. Yeah, yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  So this Netflix special.

• 25:28Speaker 05

  Oh, my God, that was exactly it.

• 25:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:30Speaker 05

  The body was exactly it.

• 25:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 25:33Speaker 05

  It's, yeah. Yes.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  And they're real comfortable.

• 25:35Speaker 05

  They touch you too much. And if they're talking, say they're talking to you, Bobby, they're gonna be touching you.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 05

  To be like, just so you know, I'm engaging.

• 25:42Bobby Lee?

  How was that in?

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Because it's like the trauma of being that girl across that guy is like.

• 25:48Speaker 05

  It's really fucked up.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  It's like lift like.

• 25:50Bobby Lee?

  So I'm too nice to be that guy?

• 25:52Speaker 02

  You're too.

• 25:53Speaker 05

  No, you're too horny.

• 25:54Bobby Lee?

  Am I weak or nice?

• 25:55Speaker 05

  Horny, horny.

• 25:56Bobby Lee?

  I'm too horny.

• 25:56Speaker 05

  You're too horny, so when I'm talking, I can see that you're like.

• 26:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:01Speaker 05

  You know.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, the Tom.

• 26:02Bobby Lee?

  Well, I don't find, I don't find either one of you ladies attractive. Okay, I do.

• 26:06Speaker 05

  I think that you find anything attractive.

• 26:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  It's a hole in a heart, baby.

• 26:09Bobby Lee?

  So, um, all right, so I'm too horny. Okay, I can't be, I'm not alpha male.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  What you are really good with is telling your stories, like, confidently.

• 26:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 26:23Speaker 05

  You're really good at talking about yourself.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Well, what these guys, what these guys do is next level because they pretend listen. They don't give a shit. It's just a very rehearsed pretend listen.

• 26:34Bobby Lee?

  You think I'm listening to you right now? I'm not.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  I know.

• 26:37Speaker 05

  The best at it in the whole world is my mother, my lesbian mother. She's so.

• 26:40Bobby Lee?

  Why is everyone lesbian in your life?

• 26:43Speaker 05

  Except for me.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  You're bi, right?

• 26:46Speaker 05

  No, no.

• 26:48Bobby Lee?

  You're hetero.

• 26:48Speaker 05

  I don't like.

• 26:49Bobby Lee?

  You're hetero. Yeah, yeah.

• 26:50Speaker 05

  I'm hetero.

• 26:51Bobby Lee?

  You got a nice tan going, too.

• 26:52Speaker 05

  Thank you so much.

• 26:53Bobby Lee?

  You, you know, can I say something?

• 26:54Speaker 05

  Yes, please.

• 26:55Bobby Lee?

  As you get more successful, you get hotter.

• 26:57Speaker 05

  Do you want to know why? That lady in the corner, that's my trainer.

• 27:01Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:02Speaker 05

  And my bed friend.

• 27:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And she's got a nice tan, she's got great legs. I observed them last night.

• 27:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:07Bobby Lee?

  I'm not doing, I'm doing it a non-sexual way, but I was looking at you last night and I, what, what, why can I observe?

• 27:13Speaker 03

  We all looked at her.

• 27:14Bobby Lee?

  I'm an observer, dude.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  Or like, is she?

• 27:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:16Speaker 05

  What? She had full cargo shorts on yesterday.

• 27:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I just, I can see through it.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  See, that's what I mean.

• 27:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see through, right through it.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I can see the structure, you know what I mean, the tan, everything, you know what I mean?

• 27:27Speaker 02

  Wait, I have a real question about last night.

• 27:29Bobby Lee?

  Louis Bueno, by the way.

• 27:30Speaker 05

  Was that, who's that blonde woman who came in last night?

• 27:33Bobby Lee?

  My ex-girlfriend?

• 27:34Speaker 05

  Is that actually your ex-girlfriend?

• 27:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Is she? Yeah, Sarah.

• 27:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:38Speaker 05

  She is your ex.

• 27:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:39Speaker 05

  So that was a real exchange.

• 27:40Bobby Lee?

  Have you met him?

• 27:41Speaker 05

  No.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, I have.

• 27:43Bobby Lee?

  Hi, May.

• 27:45Speaker 05

  I know that guy.

• 27:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:47Speaker 05

  Where did we meet?

• 27:47Speaker 03

  The Comedy Store.

• 27:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know that guy.

• 27:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. The funniest.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  I gave you water one time, remember?

• 27:53Speaker 05

  Were you, like, working?

• 27:54Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:55Speaker 05

  You're a comic?

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 27:57Speaker 05

  And you gave it to me?

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 05

  And asked for it?

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 28:00Speaker 05

  They asked for it because I thought you were the help. Really? You said, "Bring me the water."

• 28:04Speaker 00

  This has happened to him before. Miss Pat asked him for a shrimp or something one time.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. The little treats at the Netflix party.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  Pig in the blanket.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, pig in the blanket.

• 28:13Bobby Lee?

  So the funniest thing happened last night that you weren't even privy to that involved you.

• 28:17Speaker 05

  Great.

• 28:18Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 28:18Speaker 05

  I love this.

• 28:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's the best.

• 28:20Speaker 05

  Let's hear it.

• 28:20Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 28:20Speaker 05

  I got all my best.

• 28:21Bobby Lee?

  So there was this girl, Andrea Jin. She was supposed to come here today, but we told her not to come. But, um...

• 28:26Speaker 00

  Great added information.

• 28:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, um... So for weeks, right? She was like, "I just, you know, I need to make amends to Jordan Jensen."

• 28:37Speaker 05

  What'd she do?

• 28:38Bobby Lee?

  Just, yeah, let me tell you.

• 28:39Speaker 05

  Oh, she's a recovery girl?

• 28:40Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 28:41Bobby Lee?

  And she, I go, "What do you mean?" And she's like, "Yeah, so one time, you know, when I was a younger comic, I did a show in New York. I was bringing her up. I forgot her name." Right? And then, you know, I mean, and she was totally cool about it afterwards, but then I was weird about it, like, you know what I mean? I didn't know, you know what I mean? I think she thinks I'm a weird person or this and that. And then last night, you looked at her and go, "Hi, are you a comedian?"

• 29:05Speaker 00

  So all the things she believed?

• 29:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and all the things she believed in her mind, right? And I, like, did it internal, "Ah!" You know, your laugh, right? It was a beautiful moment.

• 29:15Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 29:15Bobby Lee?

  You didn't even remember.

• 29:16Speaker 05

  I don't recognize any... Dude, that guy...

• 29:18Bobby Lee?

  You don't recognize Asians?

• 29:20Speaker 00

  Oh, maybe that's what it is.

• 29:20Speaker 05

  No, it's all of them. It's every... No, that's not true. White, hot guys I know.

• 29:25Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 29:26Speaker 05

  Like Jeff Die, I was like, "Hi, I'm Jeff." And I was like, "We've met like nine times."

• 29:29Bobby Lee?

  Mmm.

• 29:30Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? But I'm always the nine times.

• 29:32Bobby Lee?

  You think he's hot?

• 29:33Speaker 05

  He's just objectively like a... I'm scared of him, like, because those were my bullies. So I know to be like, "That's Tom, that's Derek, avoid that." You know what I mean?

• 29:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:42Speaker 05

  So I know about that. But everybody else, I don't know if... Do you know, recognize people?

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  I recognize everybody. I just...

• 29:49Speaker 05

  You do?

• 29:49Bobby Lee?

  The names is what I have a problem with. Yeah, I'll look at their faces and go, "Oh, what's up, dude?"

• 29:55Speaker 05

  But I also am like, I'm looking at people all on the train. I'm like, I'm pretending to have lives with every single person that somebody walks up to me. And I'm like, "I know you." And they're like, "You don't." And I'm like, "Oh, I've fantasized about knowing you."

• 30:05Bobby Lee?

  But don't you think that in comedy clubs, you should... It's more important to memorize people's faces and stuff like that and names?

• 30:12Speaker 05

  Not a girl who is the host and forgets my name. I'm not gonna remember.

• 30:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. But she was, and then she blushed. So when you go, yeah, what, are you a comedian? She goes, yeah, I'm a comedian. And you go, what's your name? And she goes, Andrea. And you shook her hand and you kind of started talking to somebody else. And her face turned red. And I, her.

• 30:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, what, what? I know her from 10 years ago or some shit?

• 30:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 05

  No, I don't recognize her at all.

• 30:42Bobby Lee?

  But she's also rising, like she opens for Mulaney and Phil Byrne, everybody.

• 30:44Speaker 05

  Oh, great. That's good, because I love that girl.

• 30:49Speaker 05

  I don't understand. I don't recognize anybody.

• 30:51Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 30:52Speaker 05

  If we spent an hour together talking, like getting into the shit, I would go, I'll, I'll remember your insecurities. I won't remember you. I remember that you'd be like, I'm an alcoholic. Then I'll be like, I know you.

• 31:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 31:02Speaker 05

  If you're just a person around.

• 31:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:04Speaker 05

  Crazy.

• 31:05Bobby Lee?

  Are you sober still?

• 31:06Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, I did poppers the other day.

• 31:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, what's a pop, oh.

• 31:10Speaker 05

  The gay drug.

• 31:11Bobby Lee?

  Has to do with your butthole, right?

• 31:12Speaker 00

  Loose body.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  I mean, was it in preparation for something?

• 31:16Speaker 05

  Sex?

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 05

  No, it was just at a wedding. My gay friend had, said I had poppers and I went.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  I think it counts then.

• 31:23Speaker 05

  Really?

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:23Speaker 05

  But I'm not like a, I'm a recovery, I'm a sex and love addict recover person. I'm not really an addict. Like I did coke for a year and then stopped. And I, I stopped drinking alcohol because I'm addicted to sugar.

• 31:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:33Speaker 05

  But I never, I would, I'm not like a.

• 31:35Bobby Lee?

  Sex and love. I, I need to be on that, I think.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 05

  Sorry.

• 31:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  It was more the sex or the love for you?

• 31:43Speaker 05

  For sure. All women.

• 31:44Bobby Lee?

  Mine's love.

• 31:45Speaker 05

  If you're a sex addict and you're a woman, you're sick. You're sick in the head.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  I actually, I believe that. More so than. Believe what?

• 31:54Speaker 05

  What I just said?

• 31:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. Because you're, you're really sick.

• 31:57Speaker 05

  It is.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:58Speaker 05

  It is. Because if you're, if you're, if you're trying to come over and over, if you're that stupid as a woman, like a man, it makes sense. You guys pulling your dick all day. You love it. But as a woman, you know better than to be obsessed with orgasms. But love addiction is real.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:14Speaker 05

  I just stay in bad relationships forever. I've never.

• 32:16Bobby Lee?

  I don't love it. I don't love pulling my dick out and doing that.

• 32:19Speaker 05

  You do.

• 32:19Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. I'll tell you, the other, the other night, I made love to a woman. And, um, I did, I, you know what? After I made her orgasm, you know what I said?

• 32:26Speaker 05

  Look at that.

• 32:27Bobby Lee?

  Okay, look at this. This is when I wake up in Hawaii. Okay? All right. This is when I wake up in Hawaii. Yeah, I mean, I, see, I'm just a normal nomad.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Normal dude.

• 32:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, a peaceful nomad, just minding my own business.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Are you petting his head?

• 32:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  That's awesome.

• 32:44Bobby Lee?

  That's normal behavior.

• 32:45Speaker 05

  Wow, your dick is so black, huh?

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Size wise.

• 32:49Bobby Lee?

  Well, I got the Shaquille O'Neal.

• 32:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, you got a big black cock.

• 32:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I went to Turkey and I got that operation, you know what I mean, that you can get. It's Spud Webb, I think it was Spud Webb.

• 32:58Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 33:00Bobby Lee?

  It was the Spud Webb, I forgot. I didn't have the money back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:03Speaker 02

  But you never, you've never broken up with anyone? No.

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  Can I just finish what my story was in the second or what? What's going on here, dude?

• 33:10Speaker 03

  What's going on?

• 33:10Bobby Lee?

  I mean, railroaded, you know what I mean? Jaime hasn't said anything.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  I'm listening.

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  This isn't Trash Tuesdays.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Sorry, you're right.

• 33:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  You're right, you're right.

• 33:17Speaker 05

  Jaime's the alpha, he's listening.

• 33:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Forgot what I was gonna say.

• 33:22Speaker 05

  You had sex with a woman the other day?

• 33:23Bobby Lee?

  And I made her orgasm, and you know what? You know what I said? I said, ma'am, I said, um, I don't need to come.

• 33:30Speaker 05

  That's because you're getting old and it's hard for you to come.

• 33:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 05

  If you could come, you would have been like, hold still.

• 33:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, can I be honest with you? I think that would, because it was the second time we did it. And, yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's so tough.

• 33:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I was like, I, I, I can't, I know I can't do it.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Wait, an attempted back to back as a 54-year-old man? Like, that's impressive.

• 33:51Bobby Lee?

  Dude, that's great.

• 33:52Speaker 05

  For a 35-year-old, they don't do that.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  I can't even do that.

• 33:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 33:56Bobby Lee?

  The back to back was from the night before, though.

• 33:59Speaker 02

  That's still back to back at this age, I think.

• 34:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I did it the night before, and then we did it again, and I just, what's so funny?

• 34:06Speaker 03

  Back to back, five days separating, back to back.

• 34:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:10Speaker 05

  Taking the ethical perspective, taking the ethical stance and saying that you did that for her needs is crazy, though.

• 34:17Bobby Lee?

  I, I can't orgasm unless they orgasm first, to be honest with you.

• 34:21Speaker 05

  Oh, because you get in your head?

• 34:22Bobby Lee?

  No, I just want them to feel the pleasure, and then I can just do, you know, my, you know, my style.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Go on, do your thing now. Talk about your woman thing.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Because I feel like that's...

• 34:30Speaker 03

  One time, oh.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 34:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 34:33Speaker 05

  No, you go.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  Uh, one time I was having sex.

• 34:38Bobby Lee?

  Was having sex.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  There's a difference between sex and love.

• 34:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we know that.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Why? Because you said you were making love last night, right? Or the night before?

• 34:47Bobby Lee?

  Whatever.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Were you making love or were you having sex?

• 34:50Bobby Lee?

  Ooh. Oh, that's interesting.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Oh, yes.

• 34:53Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know what? I've, I've, I always make love.

• 34:57Speaker 05

  I believe that.

• 34:58Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 34:58Speaker 05

  With that penis, I believe it's always love.

• 35:01Bobby Lee?

  You know what? Why did you show her my penis? Yeah?

• 35:04Speaker 00

  Amazing.

• 35:05Speaker 05

  It's really nice.

• 35:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 05

  If I had a penis and I was, I would want that. I would want the, I'd want everything to be tight. I don't like.

• 35:11Bobby Lee?

  When you say tight, is it small?

• 35:13Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 35:13Speaker 05

  It's close to the body.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  Different.

• 35:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 05

  Way different, way different.

• 35:18Bobby Lee?

  Is it small? She seen it? Erect?

• 35:20Speaker 02

  He's basically saying you have a tight pussy.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  You have a tight pussy. I like that. That's a compliment.

• 35:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You'll never show that photo again. Oh, that video again. Okay.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  No, you're fine. You're fine.

• 35:29Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  Average.

• 35:31Speaker 00

  Hey, that's good.

• 35:32Speaker 02

  Average is good. You don't want more than that. I don't like.

• 35:34Bobby Lee?

  Let's talk about other things now.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:36Bobby Lee?

  Let's talk about.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Jaime, go ahead.

• 35:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Well, I was having, um, it was, yeah, a while back. And I was having a one night stand.

• 35:44Bobby Lee?

  Okay, just, come on, get to it.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  So basically she said that, oh my God, you feel so nice in me.

• 35:49Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  Gilbert almost like.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  Bobbing.

• 35:54Bobby Lee?

  Jaime, Jaime.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Is that bad?

• 35:55Speaker 05

  I thought of a samour.

• 35:58Speaker 05

  Thought about eating a samour and being like, you feel so nice in me.

• 36:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, penis is, I mean, we say, it's, it's hard to talk while you're having sex. It's hard to not, because you just have to be like, you're, you're in there. Yeah. You're deep.

• 36:11Bobby Lee?

  That was the grossest thing I've heard in my life.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't say it's she.

• 36:14Bobby Lee?

  I, I understand, but even, even if she said it, for you to say that out loud, that that happened, it's fucking gross as fuck.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  Did it make you feel like?

• 36:22Speaker 03

  I was confused. I was like, it is?

• 36:24Bobby Lee?

  We're confused.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  Is that how you responded?

• 36:26Speaker 03

  Well, she wanted two tickets for the, the show. She's like, you're gonna give me two tickets? I was like.

• 36:33Speaker 05

  For her and her boyfriend.

• 36:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But, I don't know. I, I, I didn't respond to that. I was like, oh.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  I think that she's just dirty talking.

• 36:47Bobby Lee?

  She's just dirty talking. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:48Speaker 05

  It's hard to dirty talk.

• 36:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  It is.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:51Bobby Lee?

  I, I, I, I, that would throw me off anyway, anything like that. And you'll go soft? I wouldn't go soft. I just like, I would, in my mind, go. I don't believe you. I wish you, number one, I don't believe you.

• 37:02Speaker 05

  I don't believe you.

• 37:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And number two, it's like, I wish you would've said that.

• 37:07Speaker 05

  For me, it's like alchemy. In your twenties, I felt like I could have been like, fuck my vagina, you little bitch, right? I could have said anything I wanted and they'd be like, yeah, okay. In your thirties, you can throw them off, easy. Like, if you said, I feel good in you, they could easily be like, now I'm soft. Like, it, it is like this weird, tinctures, and you can't do anything weird because it brings up stuff with their mom. And then, but in your twenties, they were just, we were just drunk, and you could call them different names.

• 37:30Bobby Lee?

  Sure, sure. At fifty-four, too, it's like, it.

• 37:32Speaker 05

  Is it alchemy?

• 37:33Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 37:34Speaker 05

  I thought it maybe came back. Like, maybe it was back to being like, whatever, I've seen mother nipples. You know?

• 37:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 05

  But it's, it's still alchemy.

• 37:43Bobby Lee?

  It's alchemy. Yeah. When you say alchemy, I don't know what you mean.

• 37:45Speaker 05

  Alchemy is in like.

• 37:46Bobby Lee?

  Because I'm into like.

• 37:47Speaker 05

  They have to be exactly like this, and maybe if they move like this, that'll throw you off and make.

• 37:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's alchemy. It's alchemy.

• 37:52Speaker 05

  Really?

• 37:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, it's alchemy, yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 05

  Do you need like it to be porny, or can it be?

• 37:56Bobby Lee?

  No, no porny.

• 37:57Speaker 05

  No porny.

• 37:57Bobby Lee?

  Christian.

• 37:58Speaker 05

  Christian.

• 37:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It needs to be Christian. You know what I mean?

• 38:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, totally.

• 38:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like missionary first style.

• 38:03Speaker 05

  Right. Eye contact?

• 38:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no eye contact.

• 38:06Speaker 05

  I don't like eye contact either.

• 38:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:07Speaker 05

  That throws me off. I keep my eyes open, which is a little scary.

• 38:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Well, you have big, I mean, googly eyes, too, so it'd be very creepy, I think.

• 38:14Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm. Also, people think I'm gonna dominate them?

• 38:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Oh, we were just talking about this earlier.

• 38:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  About, um, dominatrix and how Bobby's just not, doesn't feel as though like he would ever.

• 38:24Speaker 05

  I think you would love it.

• 38:25Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  I think so, too.

• 38:26Speaker 05

  He put in a diaper? And told you're a little baby?

• 38:29Bobby Lee?

  Do I have to poo, or no?

• 38:30Speaker 05

  You don't have to.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  You can.

• 38:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay. He got excited. Yeah, yeah. Poo, yeah.

• 38:35Speaker 05

  You don't want a woman to be like, get down on the fucking floor, bitch.

• 38:39Bobby Lee?

  I will fucking. If I can poo.

• 38:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  It's babies can poo.

• 38:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, couldn't I poo? I mean, is that a part of it or no?

• 38:48Speaker 02

  You would have to ask your, you would have to ask permission.

• 38:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:52Speaker 05

  Oh, do I have permission to poo?

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:53Bobby Lee?

  But do I have to do the fucking thing like the alpha male, hey, can I poo?

• 38:56Speaker 05

  Hey, about this poo.

• 38:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 05

  Can I do it?

• 39:00Bobby Lee?

  No, I would do it my own organics. I would be, this is what I would go. I go, excuse me.

• 39:04Speaker 05

  That's good.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:06Speaker 05

  That's a good little.

• 39:06Bobby Lee?

  Well, then you have to go, yes.

• 39:07Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 39:08Bobby Lee?

  Because I can't, if I had to do an excuse me, you have to.

• 39:10Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 39:11Bobby Lee?

  Excuse me.

• 39:11Speaker 05

  Yes, plea, flee.

• 39:13Bobby Lee?

  Um, can I poo?

• 39:14Speaker 05

  No, you can poo when I tell you to poo.

• 39:17Bobby Lee?

  That's even better.

• 39:17Speaker 05

  Now you can poo.

• 39:18Bobby Lee?

  Because then I can control it.

• 39:20Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because I really have to poo.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, okay. Very good. Very good.

• 39:24Speaker 05

  I think it'd be fun to be a dominatrix.

• 39:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  I feel like you'd be really good at it.

• 39:28Bobby Lee?

  Would you dominatrix me as, as our relationship? Because we're friends.

• 39:31Speaker 05

  Like right now?

• 39:32Bobby Lee?

  No, just in general, like, let's say I go on the paper and I go, you know, I don't know where you get it, but like.

• 39:36Speaker 05

  The paper.

• 39:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You go to the like, I don't know.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  Newspaper?

• 39:39Speaker 02

  That's where you.

• 39:39Bobby Lee?

  I don't know where you get it. At the, yeah, at the back of a newspaper. Where do you get them?

• 39:43Speaker 05

  I think.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  Website.

• 39:43Bobby Lee?

  Website. I go to the website, right?

• 39:45Speaker 05

  Jesus.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  He's like.

• 39:46Bobby Lee?

  And your face is blurred and I go, oh, the body's okay. And I go, you know, and I go click. Then we, I meet you, right? And it's, and I discover it's you. Would you still go through with it?

• 39:57Speaker 05

  Well, I don't have to have sex with you, so I would just be bossing you around. I would do it right now for free. Yeah. Totally.

• 40:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 40:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, you just have to.

• 40:05Bobby Lee?

  You would hit me and stuff.

• 40:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's all it is, right? You don't have to have sex with them or anything?

• 40:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  Nope, it's your rules.

• 40:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I don't think you got, anybody in the room is into that.

• 40:13Speaker 05

  Nope.

• 40:13Bobby Lee?

  Right? Nope, right? Nope. Let's just move on from it.

• 40:16Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Make simple love, man.

• 40:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay, Christian love like I do.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, make babies.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 40:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh. Well, I mean.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  What? Is it, that's life.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  You grow up, you do your job, make kids.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  This is Hawaii.

• 40:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Hawaii fucked you up, dude.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  No, it opened my.

• 40:35Bobby Lee?

  Just get back to Hawaii.

• 40:36Speaker 05

  Were you there together?

• 40:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 40:38Speaker 05

  You went alone?

• 40:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:45Speaker 06

  Hey guys, it's Burt Kreischer. You're gonna see me and my butthole on Tiger Belly in a few weeks. But the Permission to Party World Tour starts September 18th in Rockford, Illinois. Milwaukee, St. Paul, Duluth, Eugene, Oregon, Morrison, Colorado at Red Rocks October 1st, Salt Lake City, Idaho Falls, Nampa, Yakima, Lincoln, but more importantly, Tiger Belly, my butthole, Bobby's butthole. I'll see you then.

• 41:13Bobby Lee?

  Get back to the wine.

• 41:15Speaker 05

  Were you there together?

• 41:16Speaker 02

  No.

• 41:17Speaker 05

  You went alone?

• 41:18Speaker 03

  No, I went with some friends.

• 41:20Speaker 05

  Nice.

• 41:21Bobby Lee?

  Now, is Ian Fydenz jealous that you... You still do a pod with him, right?

• 41:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I haven't been there in weeks, but yes, I did.

• 41:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Is he jealous that you got passed and he didn't?

• 41:32Speaker 05

  He's just annoyed because he was passed.

• 41:34Bobby Lee?

  I'm the one that did it.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Wait, what happened there?

• 41:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, he was passed and then they switched bookers.

• 41:38Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you what happened. Alright, so Emily, the booker before, the new one, I go, Ian Fydenz, she goes, "I get it, I know, I know." He showcases for her, he slaughters. In fact, me and Santino showed up for his showcase. And I made it a point to be there, so I knew that he slaughtered. So there's no excuses.

• 42:01Speaker 05

  Right.

• 42:01Bobby Lee?

  Afterwards, I go, "What do you think?" She's like, "Yeah, I mean, he's a shoo-in." Then she gets let go, new person comes in, and this is what makes me mad. And I went and I did a little investigation, by the way, right? The new talent guy goes, I go to her, I go, "Well, Ian, you know, got, kinda got passed."

• 42:21Speaker 05

  So nice, my friend. Sorry.

• 42:23Bobby Lee?

  Alright, and she goes, "Yeah, I heard he bombed." And I go, "Who?" And then she goes, "Dormans and other, like, you know, people that work there." And I'm like, "Give me the name." She goes, "I can't do that, because I was gonna fucking go to war." And now he's out.

• 42:44Bobby Lee?

  Do you hear that?

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, now he's out, right, and now I don't know what to do.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  So I was working at a farmer's market this weekend.

• 42:52Bobby Lee?

  That's not high energy dude.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 42:54Bobby Lee?

  You weren't working at a farmer's market.

• 42:56Speaker 05

  How was the truth? What were you selling?

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Beef jerky.

• 42:59Speaker 05

  What kind?

• 43:00Bobby Lee?

  Beef jerky.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Deer jerky. Oh, he was actually.

• 43:02Bobby Lee?

  Deer jerky, oh, you really were?

• 43:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  I was hoping a friend of mine, her stepdad is a deer hunter, and he wanted some help at the farmer's market in Dallas. I was selling beef jerky.

• 43:11Bobby Lee?

  And did you sell a lot?

• 43:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:13Bobby Lee?

  Very nice. I used to sell corn.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Corn, wow.

• 43:16Bobby Lee?

  No, corn.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  Oh, corn.

• 43:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, not porn.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 43:19Bobby Lee?

  Corn.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Looks you're talking about sex.

• 43:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I worked at a farm, right?

• 43:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:23Bobby Lee?

  And I, I used to pick up corn in the morning and then sell them at a farmer's market. So I understand, we have the same history. And I did it for every day for like a whole summer, and it was the worst job I've ever had. I can't even, I, I can't even think about it now.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Why?

• 43:37Bobby Lee?

  It was, here's what it is, you pick up corn, you have to load, I used to have a truck, load it onto my truck.

• 43:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:43Bobby Lee?

  Five in the morning.

• 43:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:44Bobby Lee?

  Then drag piles of corn, like a heap of corn.

• 43:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:49Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Also, different kinds of corn, white corn, yellow corn, I had to separate it, right? Right, then I had to unload this corn, you're talking about fifty tons of corn.

• 44:02Speaker 05

  No.

• 44:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I don't know the weight, you know what I mean, but, and then go to the stand, unload all this corn, buy my little itty bitty stuff. And also, I'm like nineteen years old.

• 44:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm a little bitty itty bitty.

• 44:14Speaker 05

  You've got nineteen year old muscles.

• 44:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay, then I'm loading it, loading it onto this table and all the, you know what I mean? Organizing, putting the corn sign up.

• 44:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:24Bobby Lee?

  Big hefty corn sign, right? Right, the register, all that stuff, right?

• 44:29Speaker 05

  You're describing a job, this is crazy.

• 44:32Bobby Lee?

  I understand, let me just finish.

• 44:34Speaker 05

  Taking money from people, giving them the product. Like a slave.

• 44:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, okay, so at the farmer's market, guess what? What's the hottest thing at the farmer's market?

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Coffee.

• 44:46Bobby Lee?

  No, corn.

• 44:47Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 44:48Bobby Lee?

  My corn stand was the hottest thing, okay? You're talking about a mile out the window, right, outside, right?

• 44:54Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 44:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right? I'm like a fucking devil dog. I don't know, I don't know. Like a work dog.

• 45:03Speaker 05

  Devil dog.

• 45:04Bobby Lee?

  Like a chupac, like a chupacabra workers.

• 45:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right, right? Right, I'm corn, corn, teaching money, right? Fifty thousand different things going through my mind, my friend, right? Look at the energy I'm doing, that's amazing.

• 45:18Speaker 05

  It's really good.

• 45:18Bobby Lee?

  Right? And then by the end of the day, and you're talking about a 12 hour day, babe, baby, right? And the left over husks and all that stuff, I gotta clean it. And then I got, you know, and I bring the inventory back to the farm. I got paid 80 bucks.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 45:34Speaker 05

  A day?

• 45:35Bobby Lee?

  A day.

• 45:36Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 45:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. All that for that.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  I got paid 140 for 12 hours.

• 45:43Speaker 05

  What the fuck?

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Those were these jerky, it's all packaged, it's all clean.

• 45:46Bobby Lee?

  And you were working by yourself or you're all alone?

• 45:48Speaker 03

  I was by myself.

• 45:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:49Speaker 05

  I used to be a bean farmer, no offense, honey.

• 45:51Bobby Lee?

  What, you did a meat farm?

• 45:52Speaker 05

  Bean farm.

• 45:53Bobby Lee?

  Uh-oh. Tell me about the beans.

• 45:55Speaker 05

  Organic bean farmer, used to go out in the big combine and go like this to the crops to roll the dirt over, whatever that's called.

• 46:02Bobby Lee?

  Is that hard with your hands, though?

• 46:04Speaker 05

  Where you go like this, you go like this, yeah.

• 46:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 05

  And then.

• 46:08Bobby Lee?

  That takes forever when you do it with your hands?

• 46:10Speaker 05

  Put a seeder.

• 46:10Bobby Lee?

  That's the old way, the old way.

• 46:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you did that, how long did you do that, beans?

• 46:15Speaker 05

  Oh, it was like two summers.

• 46:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god. So, explain to me how this works.

• 46:20Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 46:21Bobby Lee?

  You wake up in the morning.

• 46:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:22Bobby Lee?

  How old are you?

• 46:25Speaker 05

  Nineteen.

• 46:26Bobby Lee?

  You're nineteen, same, so we all did manual labor at a young age.

• 46:29Speaker 05

  I've been doing it the whole time. This was the easiest job.

• 46:32Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 46:33Speaker 05

  The farming, you get to ride on a thing.

• 46:34Bobby Lee?

  What? Why'd you laugh at that?

• 46:38Speaker 02

  George's family is in.

• 46:39Speaker 04

  My parents are farmers.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:41Speaker 04

  This is begging me to stologic. I want to go back.

• 46:44Speaker 05

  What kind of farm?

• 46:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  Uh, nursery for, uh, ground covers. Ornamental plants.

• 46:49Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 46:51Bobby Lee?

  I have no.

• 46:52Speaker 05

  I've done that too. Landscaping, that was tough.

• 46:54Bobby Lee?

  Wow, you did?

• 46:56Speaker 05

  I did landscaping in New York and I moved there.

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  You wake up in the morning?

• 46:59Speaker 05

  Wake up in the morning, coffee.

• 47:01Bobby Lee?

  Coffee.

• 47:01Speaker 05

  Get picked up in a big Ford F-250.

• 47:04Bobby Lee?

  Is that a plane? That's like a plane.

• 47:06Speaker 05

  Woman dating my mom at the time.

• 47:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 47:08Speaker 05

  Hot lady.

• 47:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 47:09Speaker 05

  We go, first we have to fix some shit, giant wrenches and stuff. We always had to fix some tractor.

• 47:14Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god.

• 47:15Speaker 05

  There's always a tractor breaking down.

• 47:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:17Speaker 05

  And then you gotta drive it down the street. Everybody's honking at you, "Yeah, the fuck away!" And I go, "I don't know how!"

• 47:22Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 47:23Speaker 05

  "I don't know how!" And then you go and you, and you, and you scrape it or you, or you dig it or you hoe, whatever the fucking thing that's on the tractor is doing, that's what you're doing that day.

• 47:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god. And how long? 12 hours?

• 47:35Speaker 05

  No, I'm not crazy. No, nine hours.

• 47:37Bobby Lee?

  Nine hours.

• 47:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:38Bobby Lee?

  Nine hours. And then you, you're sweating.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  Sweating. I have a thick layer of deet because the bugs attack you. So I have a thick layer of deet.

• 47:46Bobby Lee?

  Locust?

• 47:47Speaker 05

  And then I was writing jokes. That was before I started comedy. So I was writing jokes on the thing and I kept, and they kept getting in trouble because I would write jokes and then it would go like this. So the whole crop would be fucked up.

• 47:55Bobby Lee?

  See, that's, I think that that's so important, you know, some people, you know what I mean? I'm not gonna name names, you know what I mean? There's some people, right? But there are some people like us, right? That at one point or another, we're in a situation where we're like, I cannot be doing this for the rest of my life.

• 48:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:12Bobby Lee?

  Uh, it, it gives you motivation and the energy to, to, you know what I mean?

• 48:18Speaker 05

  No, I was talking to a rich comic about this recently and about how he grew up rich. And he was like, I was privileged. And I was like, no, you weren't. I spent my first three years of comedy talking about my bad jobs and everybody I worked for. What do you talk about? Your game boy or whatever?

• 48:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:31Speaker 05

  It's, it gives you so much material. And you have so much energy because you're like, I'm not a bean farmer.

• 48:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:38Speaker 05

  It's nice.

• 48:38Bobby Lee?

  Is that the worst job you've had?

• 48:41Speaker 05

  I don't, I've had so many jobs, the worst jobs, I mean, I've had so many, because I was a carpenter and then a contractor.

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  Like Jesus.

• 48:48Speaker 05

  Like Jesus.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Because that's what your dad does, right?

• 48:50Speaker 05

  That's what my, both my parents.

• 48:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 48:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:53Bobby Lee?

  I dug holes.

• 48:54Speaker 05

  I like digging holes.

• 48:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:56Speaker 02

  That sounds really fun, digging holes sounds fun.

• 48:58Speaker 05

  It's very meditated until you hit the rock.

• 49:00Bobby Lee?

  Because my holes were deep.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  What were you digging holes for?

• 49:03Bobby Lee?

  I don't even remember, they just dig the hole.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  Or just like landscaping?

• 49:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it was a construction. They could dig the hole.

• 49:10Speaker 05

  It's a grunt, you were a grunt.

• 49:11Bobby Lee?

  And take a shovel.

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:13Bobby Lee?

  The holes I dug, deep.

• 49:15Speaker 05

  Deep holes.

• 49:16Bobby Lee?

  Deep holes.

• 49:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  That's the worst job?

• 49:18Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 49:19Speaker 02

  Worst job ever?

• 49:20Bobby Lee?

  No, um, the worst job I've ever had was, oh yeah, armor, armor security.

• 49:27Speaker 03

  Armed?

• 49:28Bobby Lee?

  I drove one of those armored trucks.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  No, you didn't.

• 49:31Bobby Lee?

  I swear to God, dude.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Really?

• 49:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was me.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Looks like me.

• 49:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Looks like you.

• 49:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  Hey, your mom, what does your mom do?

• 49:40Speaker 05

  She's a contractor.

• 49:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's a contractor.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  Kind of ironic, huh?

• 49:43Bobby Lee?

  Why is it ironic?

• 49:45Speaker 03

  A lesbian in a contractor, I just find it funny, sorry.

• 49:48Speaker 05

  It's not ironic, it's on the nose, is what you mean to say.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  It's the opposite of ironic.

• 49:54Speaker 05

  It's on the nose.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 49:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  It's the opposite.

• 49:56Speaker 05

  It's like her being a Subaru salesperson would be on the nose. Ironic would be a lesbian who works for, you know, OkCupid or something, or what's the hetero thing? Marriage, church.

• 50:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:10Speaker 05

  What's a hetero thing to do? Real estate.

• 50:13Bobby Lee?

  Real estate is hetero.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  Real estate is for people who snapped.

• 50:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, my sister snapped.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, snap, yoga instructor or real estate.

• 50:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:22Bobby Lee?

  I don't think there's a lot of hetero things because of the village people.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 50:26Speaker 05

  Right.

• 50:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the village people kind of throws it off for me.

• 50:29Speaker 05

  The village people YMCA.

• 50:31Bobby Lee?

  No, but there's a cop, you know, a native, you know what I mean, construction worker, so, you know what I mean? What are really hetero jobs?

• 50:38Speaker 03

  Doing lashes.

• 50:39Speaker 05

  I was gonna say that, nail tech.

• 50:41Bobby Lee?

  Nail techs?

• 50:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:43Bobby Lee?

  It's pretty straight.

• 50:44Speaker 05

  But it's not hetero, if it's a man, then it's a gay.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, because there are a lot of male nail techs now.

• 50:49Speaker 05

  Yeah. I like the male net, but they're always talking shit the whole time.

• 50:53Bobby Lee?

  I never see you with like your nails.

• 50:55Speaker 05

  No, I can't. I look like a trend. Look at how dirty they are right now. I look like a, one of the girls from White Chicks.

• 51:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 51:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, whenever I wear, it looks like.

• 51:03Bobby Lee?

  What about like, I do like a little bit of a, um.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  I like that. I did that for a wedding, but I peel it off so fast.

• 51:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, why, why you don't like this?

• 51:10Speaker 02

  No, it's a, that's the color brides shoes, remember?

• 51:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, anyway.

• 51:13Speaker 05

  It's come, I call it come.

• 51:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:14Speaker 05

  And, yeah, but I always, it looks like I should be palming a bask- it looks.

• 51:17Bobby Lee?

  You have nice hands. I, I disagree. No. No, you have nice, you have Chopin's hands.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  Oh, you have bigger hands than me. That's incredible. That's hard to like beat.

• 51:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, but yours are small the other direction.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  They're just, um.

• 51:29Speaker 05

  They're thin, long.

• 51:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, where yours, your palms are big.

• 51:32Speaker 05

  Gecko. I could stick.

• 51:35Bobby Lee?

  Are your feet fuck?

• 51:36Speaker 05

  Huge.

• 51:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, they are? You have ten feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm. What do you got?

• 51:41Speaker 02

  Uh, nine. Adorable. I love nines. Nine's an ideal.

• 51:45Bobby Lee?

  Average nines.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you get your feet done or no?

• 51:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, gotta get pedicures. Real shit gets crazy.

• 51:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 51:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's horrible.

• 51:53Bobby Lee?

  Is it embarrassing if you, if your feet are ratchet and you're with a guy or whatever?

• 51:58Speaker 05

  I don't like ratchet feet. I hate feet in general. I hate men's feet. I hate when any feet are.

• 52:01Bobby Lee?

  But if a guy, like if I got, like, can I show you my feet? No, no. Like if you.

• 52:07Speaker 05

  Oh, much better.

• 52:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but if a guy had these feet, would you be like, oh, that's ratchet?

• 52:11Speaker 05

  No, that's nice.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  He's really had a, a glow up in the foot department in the last like five years.

• 52:17Speaker 05

  I hate Ian's feet. They have little fucking, the toenail comes out like a pig hoof.

• 52:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 05

  I hate pig feet.

• 52:23Bobby Lee?

  With this extra fucking nail in the toe? I don't like that either.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  You got a good score. You're four point two six.

• 52:29Speaker 05

  What?

• 52:30Speaker 00

  And your feet, your wiki feet.

• 52:31Speaker 05

  That's awesome.

• 52:32Speaker 00

  That's really good.

• 52:33Bobby Lee?

  What's mine?

• 52:34Speaker 02

  I think yours is a five.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  Let's see if it went down.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  But then you kind of cheated with that, I think, cause you had all those like.

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  I did not cheat.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Ethan Klein's.

• 52:42Bobby Lee?

  I'm no longer even in it.

• 52:43Speaker 00

  I'm taking you off the database. I'll look again.

• 52:44Speaker 05

  Check Ian.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Oh, look at that penis.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  Well, just not use it.

• 52:48Bobby Lee?

  What's mine?

• 52:49Speaker 00

  Four point eight one.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  That's great. That's really great.

• 52:52Speaker 02

  That's like so high.

• 52:53Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 52:54Speaker 05

  Oh, those are great.

• 52:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:56Speaker 00

  Ian is four point six.

• 52:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  Did mine drop down under a four, Gil?

• 53:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let me see yours.

• 53:03Speaker 06

  This December, the magic of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol returns to Virginia Repertory Theater in downtown Richmond. Experience the transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge as he's visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, and rediscover the joy and true meaning of the holiday season. Performances run November 18th through December 27th. Tickets on sale now at virginia rep dot org or by calling 804-282-2620.

• 53:34Speaker 05

  Who's doing this? Who is looking?

• 53:36Bobby Lee?

  The people.

• 53:37Speaker 00

  The community.

• 53:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't know. Now I want to get a bad score on this.

• 53:41Speaker 00

  Lila, 4.85.

• 53:43Bobby Lee?

  4.8.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Higher than Bobby?

• 53:44Speaker 05

  That's good.

• 53:45Speaker 00

  There's a lot of penis.

• 53:45Bobby Lee?

  That's really nice. Yeah, why is there a penis throbbing? I don't like it at all.

• 53:51Speaker 05

  What was that? What are you guys doing on that thing?

• 53:54Bobby Lee?

  It's an advertisement on the WikiFeet about a penis throbbing?

• 53:57Speaker 05

  Oh, WikiFeet is sexual.

• 53:59Bobby Lee?

  So how do we get Ian? What do I do, do you think?

• 54:02Speaker 05

  Tell her to audition him. Do we like the new booker?

• 54:07Speaker 00

  Do what you did last week. Just call the booker on the phone.

• 54:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like Rick.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  We had, well, Rick Glassman isn't passed. And so Bobby called Rose and like put her on the spot and it was upsetting.

• 54:22Speaker 05

  They don't like that. They don't like to be called on pods, I've noticed. Any industry. They really don't like it.

• 54:27Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know. But I do it, I don't care.

• 54:30Speaker 05

  But he should be passed, he's so funny.

• 54:32Bobby Lee?

  He is. Also, here's what I want to say. He's so different than what we have.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:39Bobby Lee?

  And I want to say this, I'm going to take some of my gripes out right now, if I may.

• 54:45Speaker 06

  Scaling your business doesn't have to mean endless meetings or repetitive training. With Camtasia Pro, teams can easily transform their expertise into engaging video content. No professional editing experience required. By combining screen recording Editing and AI-powered workflows into one simple solution. Camtasia Pro helps you train faster, onboard smarter, and easily document critical processes. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 55:23Speaker 00

  That sound? That's the National Squash League. Pro teams, the world's best players, and rallies so fast you'll forget to breathe. Season four is in full swing, and every match streams free on YouTube. Big hits, bigger rivalries, and a front row seat from wherever you are. Watch every match for free on YouTube. Search National Squash League and hit subscribe or follow live updates on Instagram at nsl.sport.

• 55:51Speaker 07

  Network freedom and flexibility, that's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to bill Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 56:22Bobby Lee?

  When I go to... I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this.

• 56:25Speaker 05

  Maybe play the piano while you say it.

• 56:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, um...

• 56:32Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 56:33Speaker 05

  You can't talk and play?

• 56:34Bobby Lee?

  I can.

• 56:34Speaker 05

  Okay. Say your gripes while you play, because I think that'll soothe it a little.

• 56:39Bobby Lee?

  I, um... On a Friday, Saturday night at the Comedy Store, I don't... I can't, I can't.

• 56:46Speaker 05

  I know.

• 56:47Bobby Lee?

  It's so hard to do, you know what I mean? I can't chew fucking gum and, um, you know what I mean? Blink either.

• 56:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:52Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Yeah. It's difficult for me.

• 56:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I can't two-do things, two things at one.

• 56:56Speaker 05

  I can't two-do things.

• 56:57Bobby Lee?

  I can't even speak English.

• 57:01Bobby Lee?

  I can't even speak... I took two Ritalin, I know what's the problem.

• 57:03Speaker 05

  Oh, Ritalin? You did that last time? Like, we're 13?

• 57:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:07Speaker 05

  I ju... Ritalin, why not Adderall?

• 57:09Bobby Lee?

  Because I was thinking too much.

• 57:11Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 57:12Bobby Lee?

  But when I take two, I think...

• 57:13Speaker 05

  You slow down?

• 57:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, too less.

• 57:15Speaker 05

  Do you panic at all? Do you get sweaty palms? Let me feel.

• 57:19Speaker 02

  Well, he has legit ADD, so it slows him down.

• 57:22Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 57:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it calms me down.

• 57:23Speaker 05

  That's nice.

• 57:24Bobby Lee?

  What was I saying?

• 57:25Speaker 05

  You were saying Friday and Saturday?

• 57:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what I hate is, you know, the lineups, like The Cellar, there's a long lineup.

• 57:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:33Bobby Lee?

  But it's like, me and Marc Maron are the anchors, right? And it's like, I feel pressure that every time I do a weekend show, there's just not enough heat.

• 57:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:44Bobby Lee?

  Around it.

• 57:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:45Bobby Lee?

  Right? I don't, you know, back in the day, it's like, when I looked at a lineup, I'm like, sometimes in the lineups, like, Jay Leno, you know, Arsenio Hall, like, these kind of names. Then it feels like, what?

• 57:56Speaker 05

  So you could bomb.

• 57:56Bobby Lee?

  I can experiment, you know what I mean? It's like, also, it's like, I don't feel the weight of like, you know, responsible for the draw, right? And it's, we live in LA, we live in Hollywood, you know what I mean? And it's like, we need people like Ian and you and these kind of people to fill in these gaps, so that I don't feel like I'm carrying it. Like, when Sam Morell was here last week, you know what I mean? He was on the lineup, where I was like, oh, God, thank God Sam's up. I feel pleased when I see, you know what I mean? And it's not a slam toward the other people that are on the lineup, right? And I get, I get it, young guys should be able to get in and out and be able to get spots, but why am me and Marc the only draw?

• 58:37Speaker 05

  What about Sebastian?

• 58:38Bobby Lee?

  He's never there.

• 58:39Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 58:40Bobby Lee?

  Ever, he never calls in anymore, you know, he's at a new place.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  I had a dream that, um, Whitney Cummings had to bring me up after her.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  And how did it go?

• 58:50Speaker 03

  I don't know, I woke up, I think I crushed it, though.

• 58:53Speaker 05

  My audition was Whitney Cummings bringing me up.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  For real?

• 58:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was scary. It was scary.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  How long ago was that? Was it a dream or was it real?

• 59:02Speaker 00

  His are all dreams.

• 59:03Speaker 05

  My audition, Whitney brought me up.

• 59:06Speaker 03

  That's weird, because this happened last night, and she brought me up on the main stage in the Comedy Store.

• 59:11Bobby Lee?

  In your dream, you mean?

• 59:12Speaker 03

  In my dream.

• 59:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  And she's like, don't shake my hand, just come up here. Like, why did he shake my hand? And, um.

• 59:19Bobby Lee?

  It's just more of a nightmare.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  It was like three minute sets.

• 59:22Speaker 02

  But then you said you crushed.

• 59:24Speaker 05

  Did you crush in the dream?

• 59:25Speaker 03

  I think so. I can't remember.

• 59:26Speaker 05

  I've never crushed in a dream.

• 59:27Bobby Lee?

  I've never crushed in a dream either. It's always, I always bomb.

• 59:30Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:31Speaker 05

  Forget my pants.

• 59:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:32Speaker 05

  Bomb.

• 59:33Bobby Lee?

  I have dr- nightmare like movie dreams.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Like?

• 59:36Bobby Lee?

  Where like, I had a dream once where I was like, I'm on set, I'm on, like, and then somebody comes up to me and goes, "You're not even in the movie."

• 59:44Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:45Bobby Lee?

  And I'm like, "What am I doing here then?" "I don't know. I didn't know how you even got on set."

• 59:50Speaker 05

  What movie did I just see you in?

• 59:52Speaker 03

  Happy Gilmore 2.

• 59:53Bobby Lee?

  Happy Gilmore 2.

• 59:55Speaker 05

  Were you in Barbie?

• 59:56Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  That's Simulou.

• 59:58Bobby Lee?

  That's Simulou.

• 59:59Speaker 05

  No.

• 59:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:00Speaker 05

  Who's Simulou? Pull him up.

• 1:00:01Bobby Lee?

  Pull him up.

• 1:00:02Speaker 03

  Oh, you're in it?

• 1:00:03Bobby Lee?

  And if you think I look like Simulou, thank you. It was me.

• 1:00:05Speaker 05

  No, I know who that is. No, not at all.

• 1:00:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, thank you so much.

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  No, it was another, another mov- it must've been Happy Gilmore.

• 1:00:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 05

  Because I saw it and I was gonna post. Bobby's in it. But everybody was, that was crazy.

• 1:00:16Bobby Lee?

  Everyone's in it.

• 1:00:16Speaker 05

  That was crazy.

• 1:00:17Bobby Lee?

  Weren't you in it?

• 1:00:18Speaker 05

  I wasn't in it.

• 1:00:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay. I thought everyone was in it.

• 1:00:20Speaker 05

  It's crazy.

• 1:00:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. It's too much.

• 1:00:22Speaker 05

  Good job.

• 1:00:23Bobby Lee?

  Good job. I had no line.

• 1:00:24Speaker 05

  You did a good job.

• 1:00:25Bobby Lee?

  Okay, thank you.

• 1:00:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I have another movie coming out that's gonna be pretty good, I think.

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah?

• 1:00:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Are you allowed to talk about it?

• 1:00:32Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't wanna say it.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:00:33Speaker 05

  I'm in a movie coming out called Is This Thing On?, directed by Bradley Cooper, starring Will Arnett.

• 1:00:39Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Oh, you're in that?

• 1:00:41Speaker 05

  I'm in that.

• 1:00:42Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Lines?

• 1:00:43Speaker 05

  Uh, one of my lines was, "We should fuck tonight."

• 1:00:48Bobby Lee?

  But you, do you, but you're, but you have, who's your scene with? Who's your scene with?

• 1:00:53Speaker 05

  Will.

• 1:00:53Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:00:54Speaker 05

  And Bradley Cooper was so good at being like, "Is this right? What do you guys usually have on the tables? How do you usually sit? Just be yourself."

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:01Speaker 05

  But then when he was in my face being like, ta- telling me how to act.

• 1:01:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:05Speaker 05

  That was so sick. Because, because as a comic, you wanna kill yourself all the time. You just wanna die and your thoughts are just like, "You should kill yourself. You suck. You suck."

• 1:01:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:13Speaker 05

  But with somebody being like, "This is who you are, think these thoughts right now." You're like, "I would love to think any thoughts that aren't mine."

• 1:01:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Speaker 05

  So, acting, in my opinion, so much easier and better than comedy.

• 1:01:23Bobby Lee?

  Not for me.

• 1:01:24Speaker 05

  So mu- why?

• 1:01:25Bobby Lee?

  Not for me, baby.

• 1:01:26Speaker 05

  Comedy is, you have to make your own life funny constantly.

• 1:01:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because it's like, Bradley Cooper's in your face, right? Right? And it's like, you have, I have already made choices the night before. You know what I mean? When I say this line, I'm gonna do this. Is that Laura Dern?

• 1:01:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, Laura fucking Dern.

• 1:01:40Speaker 02

  I love her.

• 1:01:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, she's incredible. And guess what? Guess who was the nicest person? She was. She was the nicest person on the whole set. She was so nice to me.

• 1:01:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 05

  I had an intrusive thought at one point that I was gonna bite her because I have intrusive thoughts about biting people.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  The thing about Laura Dern is she has dated the hottest.

• 1:01:56Speaker 05

  The coolest.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  The coolest.

• 1:01:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  Jeff Goldblum, Ben Harper.

• 1:01:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  You name it. She's just such a queen.

• 1:02:02Bobby Lee?

  She's a beautiful lady.

• 1:02:03Speaker 05

  Jordan Johnson, right there. God, why did they use that?

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  I like that picture of you.

• 1:02:06Bobby Lee?

  That's amazing. What else? Who else as a comic is on that?

• 1:02:10Speaker 05

  Chloe.

• 1:02:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, Chloe?

• 1:02:13Speaker 05

  Um.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Reggie?

• 1:02:14Speaker 05

  Where's Reggie at? There's Reggie, my man. Derek Gaines was so good.

• 1:02:18Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:02:19Speaker 05

  Um, Peyton Manning is so tall, you guys. Huh?

• 1:02:23Bobby Lee?

  Did you have to audition?

• 1:02:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, I auditioned. I had a sinus infection. Amy Sedaris I love now. I mean, I loved her before, but as a human being.

• 1:02:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Speaker 05

  Um, I had to read and I had a sinus infection. It was a Zoom and my thing kept tipping over and I was, and my dog kept running into the screen and they were like, "You're perfect. This is exactly who you want."

• 1:02:40Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  I watched the trailer and the comments were like, "Why couldn't they just get a real comic to play?"

• 1:02:46Bobby Lee?

  It's okay, dude.

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:02:48Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:02:48Speaker 05

  Because he wasn't, his character isn't a real comic.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  Comments, don't read the comments.

• 1:02:52Speaker 05

  And everything that...

• 1:02:54Speaker 00

  Lesson learned.

• 1:02:54Speaker 03

  No, I'm just saying, because they were like, "Get a real comic." Like, not you, Bobby, but like...

• 1:02:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  No, like...

• 1:03:00Speaker 00

  Not you, Bobby.

• 1:03:01Bobby Lee?

  I'm not a real comic?

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  No, you're a real comic, but like...

• 1:03:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:04Speaker 03

  Okay, nevermind.

• 1:03:04Speaker 05

  Well, Gillis really helped them out because I guess Bradley Cooper was like, "Can you write some jokes for them?" And Gillis was like, "No, have him be bad. You write bad jokes if you want to be an open mic."

• 1:03:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow, wow, wow.

• 1:03:16Speaker 05

  Which is good.

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Gillis would have been good in the movie. Anyway.

• 1:03:20Speaker 05

  I wonder if he's in the movie. No, he wouldn't have been good as that guy, though.

• 1:03:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's a guy.

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  He's likable immediately.

• 1:03:24Bobby Lee?

  So, when you do a movie like that, though, is your confidence higher?

• 1:03:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Bobby Lee?

  Because remember we got cut out of Jackpot?

• 1:03:31Speaker 05

  Dude, physically, literally cut out? You mean when they actually cropped out?

• 1:03:35Bobby Lee?

  You know about that?

• 1:03:36Speaker 00

  The studio.

• 1:03:37Speaker 05

  That was really nice of you to try.

• 1:03:39Bobby Lee?

  I tried.

• 1:03:40Speaker 05

  You're really good with that. They had me and Ian on either side of Bobby while he was reading.

• 1:03:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:44Speaker 05

  And then they just cut out me and Ian on either side of them. It was crazy.

• 1:03:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:49Speaker 05

  Um, but yeah, confidence way higher, way higher because I had a makeup lady. She changed my life. She did my makeup for my special. She taught me how to do my makeup. She taught me, they taught me how to do my hair. Actually, they said my hair was pretty good on its own. But they taught me how to do my makeup and they taught me how to be, make myself attractive.

• 1:04:06Bobby Lee?

  See, what people don't, this is what I don't like. People go, call me and they go, you're killing it, right?

• 1:04:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:11Bobby Lee?

  But to me, it's like, you feel like you're killing it more when you're in a thing like that.

• 1:04:17Speaker 05

  Totally.

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  That I understand from a girl's perspective because

• 1:04:20Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  Just having someone make you pretty.

• 1:04:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:24Speaker 02

  It's like, I think that we're so hard on ourselves, like day to day today, especially if like you're a bit of a tomboy like me. Like I don't do my nails. I don't do my hair. I don't normally do makeup. So when someone is doling you up, oh my God, the vibes are high. You think you're someone you're not. You really start to believe you're important.

• 1:04:41Speaker 05

  Yeah. And they have a dressing room for you and you're like, I don't mind.

• 1:04:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but is, is there something about Bradley Cooper giving you notes that make you go, oh my God, like?

• 1:04:50Speaker 05

  You mean as opposed to comedy?

• 1:04:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:53Speaker 05

  I'm onstage being like, oh, my vagina sucks. I suck. And in a movie, they go lights, camera, action. And you're like, I'm a person with a face. Like it's comedy, you have to hate yourself. Because, and also it's, you need to laugh every five to 30 seconds.

• 1:05:10Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:05:10Speaker 05

  And on the screen, you don't need anything.

• 1:05:12Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:05:13Speaker 05

  It's like when you play, when you're pretending to play guitar, you feel so much cooler than when you're doing stand up. Because you're like, they would just be listening to the music, which would be so sick. As opposed to stand up where they're like, next one, please. Next one, please. That one was okay. That one was better than the last one. And you go, fuck, that's my new joke. They liked the last one because that's my fucking old joke.

• 1:05:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:31Speaker 05

  And it's a constant rotating evaluation of if you're good or not. Whereas the movie, you're like, I'm in a movie.

• 1:05:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:37Speaker 05

  Who knows if I'm good or not?

• 1:05:38Bobby Lee?

  Comedy's, comedy's hard, man.

• 1:05:40Speaker 05

  It's really fucking hard.

• 1:05:41Bobby Lee?

  Last night in the belly room, I was like, you know, I had a team around me and they're like, you gotta cut the fat on this one. And I go, it's just. You know what I mean? It's two seconds.

• 1:05:51Speaker 05

  It's two seconds, yeah.

• 1:05:52Bobby Lee?

  But that's so important, the two seconds.

• 1:05:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:05:54Bobby Lee?

  You know? What are you doing?

• 1:05:56Speaker 05

  But you can cut the fat post up.

• 1:05:57Bobby Lee?

  You're interested?

• 1:05:58Speaker 05

  Post.

• 1:05:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  I'm in. Look at he's doing. He's covering his, he's hiding his notes with his hands.

• 1:06:04Speaker 05

  What notes are you taking?

• 1:06:05Bobby Lee?

  What are some of the notes?

• 1:06:06Speaker 02

  Can I read them?

• 1:06:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let's read the notes.

• 1:06:08Speaker 05

  Why is there so much super glue? And can I put it on my hand and peel it off?

• 1:06:10Bobby Lee?

  That's why, that's why.

• 1:06:12Speaker 05

  Uh-uh, uh-uh.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  I'll just read one.

• 1:06:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:13Speaker 05

  Are you serious?

• 1:06:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm obsessed with it.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  I, I read one.

• 1:06:16Bobby Lee?

  I make Jordan.

• 1:06:17Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  I make Jordan.

• 1:06:18Bobby Lee?

  Wait, what, what brand is this? I mean, what style?

• 1:06:19Speaker 00

  That's not the right one.

• 1:06:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's two styles that are the best.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  This, this is a school glue.

• 1:06:24Bobby Lee?

  No, the school glue doesn't work.

• 1:06:25Speaker 00

  It's the props, yeah.

• 1:06:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Do you have the other one?

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  There is glue, but it's the wrong one for the.

• 1:06:30Bobby Lee?

  It's the wrong one for the kind.

• 1:06:32Speaker 05

  Why wouldn't the school glue be the best one?

• 1:06:33Bobby Lee?

  It's not, it's not. It dries weird.

• 1:06:35Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:06:36Bobby Lee?

  But here's what I do. I make complete glue hands.

• 1:06:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Well, it's like we did when you were kids.

• 1:06:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:42Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. You don't, no, you don't understand what I'm saying.

• 1:06:44Speaker 05

  I, I do. Cover every square inch.

• 1:06:46Bobby Lee?

  No, I do fifteen layers.

• 1:06:49Bobby Lee?

  Fifteen layers, and I peel it out. It's a complete glove.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  Like a statue.

• 1:06:53Bobby Lee?

  Like a statue.

• 1:06:54Speaker 05

  That's good.

• 1:06:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:55Speaker 05

  That's too much riddling, though.

• 1:06:56Bobby Lee?

  And I do it, and I do it on the road.

• 1:07:00Speaker 05

  To feel good?

• 1:07:00Bobby Lee?

  No, I just don't know what else to do. I'm so bored.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:04Bobby Lee?

  That I just make complete gloves and feet and everything.

• 1:07:06Speaker 05

  That's a perfect one of the, you know those memes that are like, he's cheating on me, and then it's what he's actually doing, and you're just?

• 1:07:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:12Bobby Lee?

  But what's stranger is I stuff it with tissue paper.

• 1:07:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Bobby Lee?

  So you have a complete hand there, and I leave it for the maid.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  And then he, oh.

• 1:07:20Bobby Lee?

  So when they clean it, they have this weird glue hand there.

• 1:07:22Speaker 05

  That's awesome.

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  Do you still paint them?

• 1:07:23Bobby Lee?

  I paint them, yeah.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I color them, I paint them. I also do this. So when I, um, put the glue on, on the first couple of layers, I'll cut out like newspaper clippings and stuff like that, and so that they.

• 1:07:37Speaker 05

  Oh!

• 1:07:38Bobby Lee?

  Right? So when I peel it.

• 1:07:39Speaker 05

  Like you shellac them into it.

• 1:07:40Bobby Lee?

  When you see it, it's all these, it's art.

• 1:07:42Speaker 05

  Do you ask for that in your rider, the glue? The good glue?

• 1:07:45Bobby Lee?

  No, I just go, I go to, do you do this? Do you do what I do?

• 1:07:49Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:07:49Bobby Lee?

  I don't bring anything.

• 1:07:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't bring anything.

• 1:07:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't bring nothing.

• 1:07:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:53Bobby Lee?

  No toothbrush.

• 1:07:54Speaker 05

  I bring underwear, though.

• 1:07:55Bobby Lee?

  I bring underwear and socks.

• 1:07:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:57Bobby Lee?

  And one pair of pants, a couple of t-shirts, but I'll go straight to the CVS and I'll buy my whole, you know, my weekend supply of stuff.

• 1:08:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Bobby Lee?

  I get my face wash, I get body wash, I get glue, two bottles. That usually suffices.

• 1:08:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And then I'll get, um, acne patches.

• 1:08:14Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 1:08:14Bobby Lee?

  Because let me say something, dude.

• 1:08:16Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:08:16Bobby Lee?

  Every night.

• 1:08:19Bobby Lee?

  There's something deep happening.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:08:23Bobby Lee?

  Every night, I have to bust out. You know how many of those stickers I use?

• 1:08:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:29Speaker 05

  Why every night? Why are you saying night?

• 1:08:31Speaker 00

  Every night.

• 1:08:31Bobby Lee?

  Every night, I look in the mirror, I go, there's one a brewing.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  But also like-

• 1:08:35Speaker 05

  Like an old timer.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Sugar?

• 1:08:36Bobby Lee?

  I say it like an old timer. There's one a brewing.

• 1:08:38Speaker 02

  Have you heard of this right here?

• 1:08:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, this is a nose.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  No, this is-

• 1:08:42Speaker 05

  Illuminati.

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  The, the triangle of, of, of death. Can you look it up, Gilbert?

• 1:08:47Speaker 00

  No, you're right. It's the oil.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, so when you get pimples in this area and you try to pop it, like you could cause like an occlusion, blindness, things you never-

• 1:08:54Speaker 05

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:08:55Bobby Lee?

  Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you saying?

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  Look it up.

• 1:08:57Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  I swear to god.

• 1:08:58Bobby Lee?

  I do it every night. What are you talking about? Really?

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, and that's why it takes you-

• 1:09:02Speaker 05

  Do you ever get faint when you're popping Blackhead? Sometimes I get faint.

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. Like especially the pimples right here.

• 1:09:07Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Those make me pass out.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 1:09:10Speaker 05

  What is that?

• 1:09:10Speaker 00

  Like this one?

• 1:09:12Speaker 02

  That one is out of, yeah, you said that.

• 1:09:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where, oh, okay.

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  This right here. Look it up.

• 1:09:16Bobby Lee?

  That's a triangle pain right there.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  Triangle of what?

• 1:09:19Speaker 05

  Oh, so it's the upper lip?

• 1:09:20Bobby Lee?

  Triangle of the face.

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  Why shouldn't, why shouldn't we pop it, Gil? Why is it dangerous?

• 1:09:25Speaker 00

  Can it really kill you?

• 1:09:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Okay, zoom in. Let's read it. Zoom in.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  You can cause a brain abscess, brain infection, meningitis.

• 1:09:32Speaker 00

  Meningitis.

• 1:09:33Speaker 05

  I pneumonia. How the fuck?

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  A stroke.

• 1:09:36Speaker 05

  What the?

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:37Bobby Lee?

  It's on, yeah, it's gotta be real if it's on there.

• 1:09:39Speaker 05

  What are pimple patches? Oh, the little stars people get?

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:43Speaker 05

  What is this?

• 1:09:43Bobby Lee?

  So what, what, I'm scared now.

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying. You can't fuck with this area and you always do.

• 1:09:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:49Speaker 05

  You're an oily boy. You just need tea tree.

• 1:09:51Speaker 00

  You boy.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  Tea tree is great.

• 1:09:52Speaker 05

  How is the Ozempic going? Did you, cause you were having the worst nausea ever.

• 1:09:57Bobby Lee?

  It's the worst.

• 1:09:58Speaker 05

  You still have it?

• 1:09:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:59Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:10:00Bobby Lee?

  Here's the worst part about it. I don't poo, I poo at once every three or four days.

• 1:10:06Speaker 00

  You try to?

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  You miss it?

• 1:10:08Bobby Lee?

  No, because when I don't poo for like three days, all of a sudden, every organ hurts.

• 1:10:12Speaker 05

  That's what Sid said, is that it's just poop in your body. That's how you lose weight.

• 1:10:16Bobby Lee?

  What is this?

• 1:10:16Speaker 05

  It holds on to your poop. That's when we got cropped out.

• 1:10:19Speaker 00

  So you guys are sitting right next to them?

• 1:10:20Speaker 05

  Literally.

• 1:10:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, in the movie.

• 1:10:23Speaker 05

  There were a few times where we were like, fully had our arms in there.

• 1:10:26Bobby Lee?

  Wow. I wasn't even invited, you know, you know what's, you know what's irritating about that? I wasn't even invited to the premiere.

• 1:10:33Speaker 05

  Dude, I just got a suit for the premiere of the movie I'm in and I'm so excited. It's crinkly leather, lambskin.

• 1:10:39Bobby Lee?

  Expensive.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  It wasn't that bad.

• 1:10:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:42Speaker 05

  How much was it? It was like eight hundred?

• 1:10:44Bobby Lee?

  Are you gonna, are you gonna go?

• 1:10:46Speaker 05

  And all together, it was like two grand.

• 1:10:50Speaker 05

  It was like. It was like three grand together. No, two grand. I paid two grand, leather jacket, leather bottom and.

• 1:10:55Bobby Lee?

  Three grand, three grand.

• 1:10:56Speaker 00

  Three grand.

• 1:10:56Speaker 05

  No, I paid two. Bro, I paid two. She gave me a discount.

• 1:11:01Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:11:01Speaker 05

  It's really cool.

• 1:11:02Bobby Lee?

  Normally three.

• 1:11:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:11:05Speaker 05

  It was awesome. We should plug it. What's the name of it?

• 1:11:09Speaker 02

  I love Zadig and Voltaire.

• 1:11:11Speaker 05

  Zadig and Voltaire. Shout out.

• 1:11:14Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:11:14Speaker 05

  I bought a suit.

• 1:11:15Bobby Lee?

  When is it, when's the premiere?

• 1:11:16Speaker 05

  God, I'm so sick of wearing a suit on the internet and people go, you're a fucking lesbian, you're a lesbian. I'm like, what? And it's feminist women calling me a lesbian. It's literally lesbians being like, you're a lesbian. I'm like, isn't your whole life supposed to be not about telling people their sexuality, but allowing them to live their truth? It's right there. It's the third one in. Yeah, the third one in, third one in. Yeah.

• 1:11:35Bobby Lee?

  That's what you got?

• 1:11:36Speaker 05

  Yep, and pants.

• 1:11:37Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Why do you have to look like a French assassin?

• 1:11:40Speaker 05

  I look like Trinity from The Matrix. I look like Trinity from The Matrix.

• 1:11:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:45Speaker 05

  Who is a lesbian icon, even though.

• 1:11:47Bobby Lee?

  Why don't you wear a dress?

• 1:11:48Speaker 05

  I don't like wearing dresses.

• 1:11:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that looks good.

• 1:11:51Speaker 05

  Right?

• 1:11:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:52Speaker 05

  Cause when I wear a dress, there's always some girl in a suit and I feel like Eleanor Roosevelt.

• 1:11:58Bobby Lee?

  But why do you, why do you care what people say on the internet?

• 1:12:02Speaker 05

  Because I'm really sick of being a, what I would call like a empowered woman who's interested in

• 1:12:10Speaker 05

  fun stuff, like cars and stuff, and that meaning that I'm a lesbian. And I think it means that hetero women are not allowed to have any fun.

• 1:12:16Bobby Lee?

  I sent her something the other day.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  What did you send me?

• 1:12:19Bobby Lee?

  I sent you that video of that, um, and this, I don't know why, but this really, um, made me feel good. And basically what it is, is this lady.

• 1:12:31Speaker 02

  Oh, right, that one.

• 1:12:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:33Bobby Lee?

  This lady, I'll show you.

• 1:12:36Bobby Lee?

  Why is that happening?

• 1:12:38Speaker 03

  Hey, Jordan, how do you feel about?

• 1:12:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so this lady right here.

• 1:12:41Speaker 03

  Taylor.

• 1:12:42Bobby Lee?

  Okay, look at it.

• 1:12:42Speaker 05

  I could not give a f- it's crazy how many people care about that. It's like the royal family to me. Why would you ever care?

• 1:12:48Speaker 03

  They don't know you.

• 1:12:50Speaker 05

  They don't know me. They've never heard of me. It's crazy.

• 1:12:52Bobby Lee?

  So this lady right here.

• 1:12:54Speaker 05

  Oh, Jesus.

• 1:12:55Bobby Lee?

  No, don't, no, that don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

• 1:12:57Speaker 05

  Sorry.

• 1:12:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. This lady right here, okay, if you can see.

• 1:13:01Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:13:02Bobby Lee?

  She, she posted that photo. She got a bunch of negative, like, people just ripping her apart, right?

• 1:13:07Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:13:08Bobby Lee?

  And she refuses to delete it.

• 1:13:09Speaker 05

  Good for her.

• 1:13:10Bobby Lee?

  And number two, she, she reads the bad comments and she asks herself this question, why am I mad at this?

• 1:13:18Speaker 05

  Okay, so why am I mad?

• 1:13:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a way for her to like, you know what I mean, do internal work on it rather than take it personally, because it's never personal, right? It has nothing to do with you.

• 1:13:30Speaker 05

  Mine is the zeitgeist of lesbians, that lesbians have become almost anti-feminist.

• 1:13:34Bobby Lee?

  You don't seem like a lesbian to me, by the way.

• 1:13:35Speaker 05

  Thank you so much.

• 1:13:36Bobby Lee?

  I've never looked at you. There's a lesbian.

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  That is a weird, weird take, though. A weird thing to do, to like, really project like lesbianism onto somebody.

• 1:13:45Speaker 05

  Well, it's just more.

• 1:13:45Speaker 02

  Based on their idea of like, very hetero man things, right?

• 1:13:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:51Speaker 02

  That is, yeah.

• 1:13:52Speaker 05

  It's just weird, when it's straight men being like, you're gay, I'm like, fuck you, you're a faggot, right? But then, sorry, but when you're, when it's lesbian women who are like, I was raised by lesbian women, they are my people, I am from a lesbian tribe. And they're being like, you're a lesbian. I'm like, your whole thing is not telling people their sexuality.

• 1:14:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:09Speaker 05

  You sound like your dad, only in reverse.

• 1:14:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And if, even if you were, who cares? People think I'm gay.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  Although I do do this.

• 1:14:20Bobby Lee?

  People go, I think Bobby's gay. Is he gay? Is he gay? I could be.

• 1:14:24Speaker 05

  Who was the comic who had the joke about sucking their own dick? And they're like, you know what it feels like is not? It doesn't feel like your dick is getting sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick. I forget who said that.

• 1:14:35Bobby Lee?

  That's so funny.

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  That's so funny.

• 1:14:37Speaker 05

  You know what I mean?

• 1:14:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's a really funny joke.

• 1:14:39Speaker 05

  But that's what I always imagine.

• 1:14:40Bobby Lee?

  That's somebody's joke, by the way, but that's very funny.

• 1:14:42Speaker 05

  That is somebody's.

• 1:14:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:43Speaker 05

  I don't know who it is, though.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  Because, and this is, I swear to you, this is why blowjobs suck. Like, you cannot get away from the chore of it all.

• 1:14:50Speaker 05

  You can't, but you can't.

• 1:14:52Bobby Lee?

  I don't like them. I don't like them.

• 1:14:54Speaker 05

  You know what I don't like? I don't really like fellatio.

• 1:14:57Bobby Lee?

  What is fellatio?

• 1:14:58Speaker 02

  Like, um...

• 1:14:59Speaker 05

  Female blowjob. When guys go down on me. It's a little tickle torture.

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  If the man is, like, face down with his butt up.

• 1:15:05Speaker 05

  Oh, man.

• 1:15:06Speaker 02

  And then peering, peering like this.

• 1:15:08Speaker 05

  The butt up is so rough.

• 1:15:10Speaker 02

  Especially when they have some hips. It's over for me.

• 1:15:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm more like Vietnam War. You'll never see him.

• 1:15:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, in the trenches.

• 1:15:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm in the trenches.

• 1:15:18Speaker 02

  You better be bear crawling. There is ways...

• 1:15:21Bobby Lee?

  You won't even know I'm there. You'll look down, I'm gone.

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  I feel...

• 1:15:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  You know what? I don't think I've ever seen your ass up, thank God. Because we wouldn't have lasted a decade, but like, that is truly like a kick. If, I don't care if we're madly in love.

• 1:15:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:37Speaker 02

  And you go down on me, and I see that your ass is higher.

• 1:15:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:41Speaker 02

  Than your torso.

• 1:15:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:43Speaker 02

  We're done. That night, we'll never speak again.

• 1:15:46Speaker 05

  I totally agree.

• 1:15:46Bobby Lee?

  I don't know. That's a lot, a lot.

• 1:15:48Speaker 02

  It's just the arch of it all is too much.

• 1:15:50Bobby Lee?

  We're never gonna speak again?

• 1:15:51Speaker 02

  Because it's gonna run through my mind.

• 1:15:53Bobby Lee?

  Or say something. Hey, bud, arch your butt down.

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  Can you flatten?

• 1:15:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  Butt too high.

• 1:16:00Speaker 05

  Butt too high. Butt too high.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  No, because that tells me, like, he really, he likes the performance of arching.

• 1:16:07Speaker 05

  You should name the episode Butt Too High. Butt Too High.

• 1:16:10Bobby Lee?

  Butt Too High.

• 1:16:11Speaker 05

  But with a blowjob, what gives you the ick when we're blowing you? Nothing at that point?

• 1:16:15Bobby Lee?

  I don't know what, okay, here's another thing, right?

• 1:16:17Speaker 05

  One leg up, that would...

• 1:16:18Bobby Lee?

  One time, I, the other day, I grabbed the...

• 1:16:20Speaker 05

  Taking a knee?

• 1:16:21Bobby Lee?

  The other day, I, the knee's crazy.

• 1:16:22Speaker 05

  The knee's crazy.

• 1:16:23Bobby Lee?

  The other day, I grabbed her hand. So she's blowing me, I grabbed her hand, and she went like that. Pulled it away.

• 1:16:30Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah.

• 1:16:30Speaker 05

  You wanted to hold it?

• 1:16:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I wanted to hold it or something. Well, I wanted something to do, like, yeah.

• 1:16:35Speaker 05

  You start gluing your hands.

• 1:16:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she pulled away. That was interesting.

• 1:16:41Speaker 05

  That is, maybe she thought that you were gonna make her do the, some women are very against the hand, mouth combo.

• 1:16:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 1:16:47Speaker 05

  Do you know about that?

• 1:16:48Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:16:49Speaker 05

  You, you know, you have to do hand mouth combo, but some women find spit on their hand to be like the most repugnant thing. So maybe she was like, don't make me do the hand mouth combo.

• 1:16:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I don't even know about that combination.

• 1:16:58Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:16:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:59Speaker 05

  Oh, cuz it can't fit.

• 1:17:00Bobby Lee?

  Well, she was into jujitsu, so maybe it was a jujitsu thing.

• 1:17:03Speaker 05

  Oh, she went jujitsu.

• 1:17:05Bobby Lee?

  No, she was, I was gonna get ankle, like wrist control.

• 1:17:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, wrist control.

• 1:17:08Bobby Lee?

  Wrist control, right? And all of a sudden I put her on a Komura or something.

• 1:17:10Speaker 02

  That makes sense.

• 1:17:12Speaker 05

  That's hot that you're fucking a jujitsu girl.

• 1:17:14Bobby Lee?

  I, I just said that for the joke.

• 1:17:16Speaker 05

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 1:17:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:17Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:17:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, check out Jordan's.

• 1:17:18Speaker 05

  There she is.

• 1:17:19Bobby Lee?

  There she is.

• 1:17:20Speaker 05

  There she is.

• 1:17:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I like the backdrop. Did you choose that?

• 1:17:24Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 1:17:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:25Speaker 05

  My backdrop, I had it in my mind, and the woman who designed it, she did a fucking Ari Shafir's, and she did it perfectly. She took it out of my mind and put it on the stage. It's all ripped. There's burn marks on it.

• 1:17:40Bobby Lee?

  So Ari Shafir, uh, cuz I'm doing a special.

• 1:17:42Speaker 05

  Guided me the whole way.

• 1:17:43Bobby Lee?

  What's her name?

• 1:17:45Speaker 05

  Lauren.

• 1:17:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I wanna, I want her to, I want her to do mine.

• 1:17:48Speaker 05

  She's incredible.

• 1:17:50Bobby Lee?

  He, she's the one that did the candles?

• 1:17:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, I want her to do mine.

• 1:17:54Speaker 05

  I mean, I just had this thought, and I had so many meetings with people, and they'd be like, what about this? And I'd be like, it's not quite right, but I'm not describing it right. And she was like, what about this? And I was like, yes, like trash heap meets rocky horror picture show. I wanted to look like somebody was like, Jordan, you're doing a comedy special. And I was like, okay, time to get my things together. And like, put them up.

• 1:18:10Bobby Lee?

  Should I do my, mine more like this backdrop?

• 1:18:13Speaker 05

  Don't be too Bobby, but don't be like on the nose Bobby.

• 1:18:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, oh, yeah, be more abstract.

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  Where'd you film your special at?

• 1:18:24Speaker 05

  Learn ironic so much.

• 1:18:25Bobby Lee?

  What does ironic mean?

• 1:18:27Speaker 03

  Ironic.

• 1:18:28Speaker 02

  Because you know what? Alanis Morissette didn't get it right either.

• 1:18:31Speaker 03

  Who?

• 1:18:33Speaker 00

  That's ironic.

• 1:18:34Bobby Lee?

  That's ironic.

• 1:18:35Speaker 05

  It's like raining on your wedding day.

• 1:18:38Speaker 00

  What did you think Callollier just said?

• 1:18:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:39Speaker 00

  Like a person or a good thing?

• 1:18:40Speaker 03

  I can't hear it right now.

• 1:18:41Speaker 05

  Do you know that song? Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? It's like... Sing it, Jordan. Raining on your wedding day. It's a good advice that you just didn't take.

• 1:18:55Speaker 03

  I've never heard that song.

• 1:18:56Speaker 05

  But who would have thought?

• 1:18:58Bobby Lee?

  What does ironic mean?

• 1:18:59Speaker 05

  Ironic?

• 1:19:00Bobby Lee?

  He doesn't even know. Not use it again.

• 1:19:03Speaker 00

  Try to get, use it in example, one more time.

• 1:19:04Bobby Lee?

  Give me an example of irony.

• 1:19:07Speaker 03

  Irony?

• 1:19:07Speaker 05

  It is tough.

• 1:19:09Speaker 03

  That's irony?

• 1:19:11Speaker 05

  No, an example.

• 1:19:13Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know, like, me working on a bean farm?

• 1:19:18Speaker 05

  Nope, that's on the nose. What's going on?

• 1:19:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:23Speaker 05

  It's like, um...

• 1:19:25Bobby Lee?

  Like, I know this Mexican...

• 1:19:26Speaker 05

  If you were working for ICE, that's ironic.

• 1:19:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:19:29Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 1:19:30Bobby Lee?

  I know this Mexican family, their gardener is a white guy.

• 1:19:34Speaker 05

  Ironic.

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  Ironic, okay.

• 1:19:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay, it's the opposite.

• 1:19:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:19:38Speaker 03

  Oh, so like, a white lady selling Mexican salsa?

• 1:19:43Speaker 05

  No, not really, no.

• 1:19:44Bobby Lee?

  Not really, no.

• 1:19:44Speaker 05

  That's culturally appropriate.

• 1:19:48Speaker 03

  Well, that's what the lady at the booth next to me was doing.

• 1:19:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:50Speaker 05

  Okay, it's like you, you...

• 1:19:52Bobby Lee?

  No, just figure it out.

• 1:19:54Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:19:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:19:54Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:19:54Bobby Lee?

  Give me another one.

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  Well, you know, think about it, and then give us your best examples at the end, I think.

• 1:20:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's a good way to wrap it up.

• 1:20:02Bobby Lee?

  We're at the end now.

• 1:20:03Speaker 05

  Oh, we're at the end. Oh, great, okay, let's hear it.

• 1:20:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:07Speaker 03

  I don't know, a guy selling massage oil? Kind of ironic, right?

• 1:20:13Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:20:13Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:20:15Speaker 02

  Let's make it ironic, let's build on that.

• 1:20:17Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:20:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:18Speaker 03

  Okay, a guy selling baby oil.

• 1:20:21Speaker 02

  Let's say this guy, this guy is really homosexual.

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

  Okay, and he's selling baby oil? We're building on your story.

• 1:20:32Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 1:20:32Speaker 02

  We're still saying the guy who sells oil.

• 1:20:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:20:37Speaker 03

  Car oil, or baby oil.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  Okay, let's take with baby oil.

• 1:20:41Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:20:41Bobby Lee?

  Let's go with car oil.

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:20:45Speaker 03

  Guys, something. Ingenio.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:20:47Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:20:48Speaker 02

  And then let's, let's make, let's turn the guy into something that would make the situation ironic.

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  That he's gay?

• 1:20:57Bobby Lee?

  He's not gonna be able to develop the concept.

• 1:20:59Speaker 05

  Okay, I'm selling car oil, but it's ironic because I'm actually against fossil fuels and I am a bicyclist. That's ironic.

• 1:21:06Speaker 02

  And works for like, green peace.

• 1:21:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:21:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  Okay, that one I understand.

• 1:21:10Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:21:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:21:11Speaker 00

  Oh, that's the one I got.

• 1:21:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you understand.

• 1:21:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:21:13Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, so like, yeah, okay.

• 1:21:15Speaker 00

  Here we go.

• 1:21:16Speaker 03

  Like, you're an atheist, but you, you go to a Catholic church. Kind of?

• 1:21:20Speaker 05

  That's just wrong of that person. You're an atheist, but you're obsessed with collecting bibles.

• 1:21:25Speaker 00

  There you go.

• 1:21:26Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:21:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're an atheist, but your favorite type of art is, you know, Renaissance Christian.

• 1:21:31Speaker 02

  Or you sell bibles for a living.

• 1:21:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:34Speaker 05

  Right, yeah. There you go.

• 1:21:35Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, that's.

• 1:21:36Speaker 05

  Trying to move away from sales.

• 1:21:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's your fifth grade.

• 1:21:38Speaker 05

  Wait, what would be an ironic backdrop for Bobby?

• 1:21:41Speaker 00

  There we go.

• 1:21:42Speaker 05

  Because you called it ironic. What would be an ironic backdrop for him?

• 1:21:45Speaker 00

  Think about everything you know about Bobby.

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  I don't know. Can't really see Bobby.

• 1:21:53Bobby Lee?

  Pupils?

• 1:21:54Speaker 05

  Huh? What'd you say?

• 1:21:56Speaker 03

  Nothing.

• 1:21:58Speaker 00

  Um. You said pupils.

• 1:22:00Speaker 05

  Pupils?

• 1:22:00Bobby Lee?

  Do you think I should do an ironic background, like, you know?

• 1:22:03Speaker 05

  I'm just saying, he said it would be ironic.

• 1:22:04Bobby Lee?

  Like an old west town, like a west.

• 1:22:05Speaker 05

  That would be ironic.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:07Speaker 05

  Old west, very masculine, very hetero.

• 1:22:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:10Speaker 05

  You know, very strong, very tall. Ironic, ironic.

• 1:22:15Speaker 02

  Wait, like, very, um, kinda like David Goggins, giving like a, like a talk. Like that vibe, like hyper masculine, kill your inner bitch.

• 1:22:25Bobby Lee?

  I don't wanna do that.

• 1:22:26Speaker 05

  You know what would be cool?

• 1:22:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, give me, give me an advice.

• 1:22:28Speaker 05

  Like fucking like, sleek, slick suit, by the end of the set, you're naked, but when it starts out, it's like, oh my god, Bobby's like reformed, and it's like a fucking suit guy. But by the end of it, you're.

• 1:22:39Speaker 00

  So you start off Ronnie Chang.

• 1:22:40Speaker 02

  Clean and Christian.

• 1:22:42Bobby Lee?

  I can't do it. I already have my, I'm gonna have mono brown colors.

• 1:22:46Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:22:47Bobby Lee?

  Like a monk.

• 1:22:48Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 1:22:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, um, I just gotta do, how about just a wooden background, like wood?

• 1:22:53Speaker 00

  So a podcast set?

• 1:22:55Bobby Lee?

  No, wood and flowers, no, I don't know. I don't know.

• 1:22:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know what? That is your vibe.

• 1:23:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:00Speaker 02

  It depends on the jokes. What's the jokes you're telling?

• 1:23:03Bobby Lee?

  Pretty gross.

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  Gross?

• 1:23:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, about race, about my dad.

• 1:23:07Speaker 02

  What about do like a very Studio Ghibli? Like soft Studio Ghibli?

• 1:23:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, soft Studio Ghibli.

• 1:23:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, cute.

• 1:23:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, cute.

• 1:23:15Speaker 02

  It's like a-

• 1:23:16Bobby Lee?

  That's what I wanna do. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I wanna do.

• 1:23:17Speaker 00

  Soft.

• 1:23:18Bobby Lee?

  Soft Studio Ghibli.

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  What's Studio Ghibli?

• 1:23:21Bobby Lee?

  Look it up.

• 1:23:21Speaker 02

  Studio Ghibli is Hayao Miyazaki. He has these like animated movies that are very like-

• 1:23:26Speaker 00

  Japanese.

• 1:23:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 1:23:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But like a town, like how about a Studio Ghibli's town?

• 1:23:34Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. AI got in trouble for copying his-

• 1:23:37Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:23:37Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:23:38Bobby Lee?

  Like a little cute town.

• 1:23:40Speaker 02

  Like do, um, the Kiki's delivery service.

• 1:23:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Kiki's delivery service.

• 1:23:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. Kiki's, um, even like, um, Totoro.

• 1:23:49Bobby Lee?

  Totoro.

• 1:23:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Totoro.

• 1:23:53Bobby Lee?

  What are you doing, man?

• 1:23:54Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 1:23:55Bobby Lee?

  Totoro, man.

• 1:23:57Speaker 02

  Do like, uh, do the Totoro one. It's really sweet.

• 1:24:01Speaker 05

  Totoro, man. Totoro.

• 1:24:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, so cute. Can you dress as Totoro? Can you put the-

• 1:24:09Speaker 00

  Can you cover your face? It's cosplay.

• 1:24:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just cute and Ghibli-like.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:24:15Bobby Lee?

  What do you think?

• 1:24:16Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 1:24:17Speaker 00

  That's you.

• 1:24:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:18Speaker 02

  I like it a lot.

• 1:24:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:21Speaker 02

  You're gonna need some stuff you can climb on, monkey around.

• 1:24:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:25Bobby Lee?

  But my jokes will be like about penises and all that kinda stuff.

• 1:24:28Speaker 02

  It doesn't matter. It's Ghibli.

• 1:24:30Bobby Lee?

  Alright, okay.

• 1:24:31Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 1:24:32Speaker 00

  Your jokes are more than that. Stop doing that.

• 1:24:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:34Speaker 00

  You're a comedian, come on.

• 1:24:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, um, Jordan, uh, you have any dates you wanna pl- uh, plug?

• 1:24:40Speaker 02

  Punchup.live, so, oh, when does this come out?

• 1:24:42Speaker 05

  Uh, next week. Greenville, South Carolina. Keep going. Come on, keep going. Eugene, Oregon. Then my Europe tour. Go pass that. Go pass that. Fuck that. Nashville, San Diego.

• 1:24:56Bobby Lee?

  Where do you play in San Diego? American Comedy Club. I love that room.

• 1:24:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's really fun.

• 1:25:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:01Speaker 05

  Cleveland, Ohio.

• 1:25:04Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, go to, go to our website.

• 1:25:05Speaker 05

  Punchup.live/jordanjensen. Watch the special. Just go click it. Make it to the end. You gotta, if you're a man, you gotta see the end of it. It's very important for men to see the end of it.

• 1:25:15Bobby Lee?

  Is, um, have you played Raleigh Improv?

• 1:25:20Speaker 05

  Yeah. Whoa, no. I've done Good Nights.

• 1:25:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but there's an improv that I heard, I don't know, I'm about to play it.

• 1:25:27Speaker 05

  Oh, why wouldn't you do Good Nights? Isn't Good Nights in Raleigh?

• 1:25:29Bobby Lee?

  I'd rather do Good Nights, but they booked me in the other place. They do that every time. They always, I would go, I want to do Charlie's Good Nights. Then the next day I know, you're playing the bigger room, because they want to make more money.

• 1:25:39Speaker 05

  But Good Nights would be so happy to have you. Yeah, I am, I, yeah.

• 1:25:44Bobby Lee?

  They do that every time.

• 1:25:45Speaker 05

  It's whoever they're in bed with. Whoever the agents are in bed with, that's where you're going. You have to like, put your foot down. I need a manager to put my foot down on the, like, I need a separate person to be like, hey, you can't, Jordan needs two weeks off or she's gonna have a mental breakdown.

• 1:25:57Bobby Lee?

  Why can't you do that?

• 1:25:58Speaker 05

  I can't do it myself, because I don't think enough ahead to be like, oh, maybe I don't want to do.

• 1:26:03Bobby Lee?

  Here's what you get, an assistant.

• 1:26:06Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:26:07Bobby Lee?

  Because she.

• 1:26:08Speaker 05

  What does the assistant do?

• 1:26:10Bobby Lee?

  My assistant.

• 1:26:10Speaker 05

  Like laundry?

• 1:26:11Bobby Lee?

  No, so all my agents and everything, right, have to go through her, right?

• 1:26:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:26:16Bobby Lee?

  For my schedule. And she is the one that goes, he can't do that.

• 1:26:21Speaker 05

  What about a manager?

• 1:26:22Bobby Lee?

  Well, I have a manager as well. You know what I mean?

• 1:26:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:26:25Bobby Lee?

  But you can, yeah. But if you want to pay the fucking, you have to pay the manager 10% of your.

• 1:26:31Speaker 05

  I know, that's why, why get the assistant if the manager is, could be the scheduler?

• 1:26:35Speaker 00

  Just depends on the manager.

• 1:26:37Bobby Lee?

  You can do it either way.

• 1:26:39Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:26:39Bobby Lee?

  I was giving you all the fucking suggestion.

• 1:26:42Speaker 05

  But can assistants do like, bad stuff? Like, stuff that, like, could they go?

• 1:26:45Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:26:46Speaker 05

  Get like, white shirts?

• 1:26:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:26:48Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:26:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:49Speaker 05

  You say, go get me white shirts?

• 1:26:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:51Speaker 05

  Like, a box of them?

• 1:26:52Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:26:53Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:26:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:55Speaker 05

  I want a man, I want an assistant.

• 1:26:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but that's, you know, to the scheduling, it's great.

• 1:27:01Speaker 02

  But also.

• 1:27:02Bobby Lee?

  Also bookers, you know, all the, all the fucking Mark, I mean, I don't want to say the names, but all the bookers, every night, every day they text you, can you do this, can you do that?

• 1:27:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:27:10Bobby Lee?

  They just go through her. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 1:27:15Speaker 05

  I do that, but with my manager doesn't.

• 1:27:17Speaker 02

  But she, the reason this assistant, it works well because she is not like, um, a comedy person.

• 1:27:24Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  So she doesn't give a fuck who's calling her.

• 1:27:27Speaker 05

  Out, out of. That's nice. You don't get the pressure.

• 1:27:29Speaker 02

  Nope. And she doesn't care, even if it's like a, a, a big thing coming down the pipe for him. She's like, he's already here and he needs this week off. No.

• 1:27:38Speaker 05

  Oh, that's nice.

• 1:27:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. All she cares about is the calendar. So.

• 1:27:43Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 1:27:44Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:27:45Speaker 05

  Right. As opposed to my manager who's like, we could squeeze this in. It is a big deal. So maybe you could do it. Right. The manager.

• 1:27:50Bobby Lee?

  Nothing's a big deal.

• 1:27:51Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:27:52Bobby Lee?

  Nothing's.

• 1:27:52Speaker 05

  Except for the white shirts.

• 1:27:53Speaker 02

  Not to Melanie. She's like, nope, nope.

• 1:27:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:56Speaker 05

  Oh, fun. Okay.

• 1:27:57Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, give Jordan a round of applause, everybody.

• 1:27:59Speaker 05

  Woo.