Ep 533 - Log Cabin (feat. Jeff Dye & Lemaire Lee)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Jeff @ https://jeffdye.com/ Go see Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com yoooo. We hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving. we back at the podiums. Cusky and meez are joined by the bro jeff dye. Check him out on social media and on the road. Please enjoy. God Bless. This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://auraframes.com/. Use code MSSP at checkout to save! Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup The Mountain is calling, you should answer #DoTheDew #MTNDEW Shop now @ https://lets.shop/2141/dothedew Support the show & get Lucy Breakers for 20% off & free shipping at https://www.lucy.co promo code DRENCHED Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  And we're live. Jeff Dye, thank you for joining the podcast.

• 0:05Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me.

• 0:07Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I'm telling you, standing podcasts are the future.

• 0:09Speaker 02

  This is it.

• 0:10Matt McCusker?

  Enough of the sitting. Enough sitting and talking. I think it's giving, it's just podcasters are getting lazy.

• 0:13Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 0:14Matt McCusker?

  Podcasts are more important than ever, dude. After this election.

• 0:16Speaker 02

  Nailed it. Also, most of us are stand-up comics.

• 0:19Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  Standing.

• 0:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude. Did you rock the stool at all on stage?

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Never.

• 0:23Matt McCusker?

  Me either, bro.

• 0:24Speaker 02

  You know what that stool is? It's a tiny fucking table for my drink and set list. That's all that is.

• 0:28Matt McCusker?

  It's not a seat. I agree.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  Make it a table.

• 0:30Matt McCusker?

  I agree. I think it is. Some people like the stool. Some people like the stool. I could never, I couldn't even.

• 0:35Speaker 00

  Some people love the stool.

• 0:36Matt McCusker?

  Some people love the stool. But I couldn't, I couldn't imagine sitting like that, you know?

• 0:41Speaker 02

  It also seems so arrogant when a comic sits down.

• 0:46Matt McCusker?

  But like, like. But it can play. It can play well if you sit down.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  I've lectured a few young comics. I'm going, what are you doing?

• 0:50Matt McCusker?

  Get your fucking ass off there.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  What are you doing? Talk about jerking off and you're sitting?

• 0:54Matt McCusker?

  It's true. If you're a fat black guy, for some reason, it's just like, it kind of works.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 0:59Matt McCusker?

  Sit on the stool. You also have a towel.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  Patrice waited 20 years before he sat on the fucking stool.

• 1:04Matt McCusker?

  True, true. It is a pretty nuts move.

• 1:06Speaker 00

  Are you guys telling me to stand up?

• 1:08Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 1:10Matt McCusker?

  No, we just, dude, that was just, you're just being, dude, you're being.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, that seemed like we were just projecting on him.

• 1:15Matt McCusker?

  No, Lemaire, you were doing.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  These fat black guys always sitting.

• 1:20Matt McCusker?

  You're doing a good service for us right now because we usually have a third podium, but we already established all everything. And I'm like, Lemaire, it killed him. He wanted to be standing with us.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  Well, also, what do you think about these becoming a part of stand-up comedy?

• 1:33Matt McCusker?

  I mean.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  You might introduce that.

• 1:34Matt McCusker?

  How nice would this be? It's clear. You can still see what's going on. You can have all your stuff. I like, I'll throw a laptop under here sometimes. I can just access all my stuff.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  And think about how poignant it would be to walk out in front of the podium now. It'd be like, very important.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. You're like, I have something to say, you know?

• 1:48Matt McCusker?

  They can still see you. I can be like, and then I'm fucking my wife and they can see.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  I never know what to do with my other hands. I know that's a Will Ferrell thing. Like, what do I do with my hands? But have you noticed, like? Even your boy, it's very, it's like, he's always on the thing. Uh, like, I do it behind my back that I hate. I hate that I do that.

• 2:05Matt McCusker?

  Like, you're a magician.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  I hate that I do that. I'll sleep in this with myself like, ah, I fucking suck. Why am I doing that? I've been doing this long enough. I should know what to do with this hand.

• 2:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I do, I, for a while, I stopped doing stand up for a while and I came back and I noticed I was, I was aping the double hand.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  Oh, for sure.

• 2:19Matt McCusker?

  Signature. So then I, I used to have like a power, like PC principle, just one hand right here. One hand, and I've gotten back to that where one hand's by my side and I just kind of move around with this hand.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I hate the pocket. I, I did it recently. I think I did it on Sunday and I go, what am I doing? I immediately took it out. Um, Rogan holds the mic. Hate it. I think Rogan holds the mic the worst. Like a snow cone.

• 2:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  You go, what are we doing?

• 2:42Matt McCusker?

  The bottom, the very bottom.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  And like on the actual cable.

• 2:45Matt McCusker?

  I'm scared to touch that part of the microphone.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. That's the connection.

• 2:48Matt McCusker?

  Yep, I choke up right around, I guess it's called the head of the microphone.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Oh, you do the head?

• 2:52Matt McCusker?

  The glands, yeah.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  That's the Eliza Slesinger. She's like a hip hop artist. You go, what are you doing?

• 2:58Matt McCusker?

  No, I, I just hold it right in the middle, dude, right in the grip. And I just keep it right here and I talk the entire time.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:04Matt McCusker?

  I've tried to do like Mike in the mic stand, kind of talking.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Oh, that's tough too. I start fucking with the stand and then I, yeah, it's like, I do the two, I've done the two hands most of my career. I think Gillis is ruining it for us. Cause now everyone, now everyone goes, oh, he's doing Gillis. He goes, I'm just holding the fucking mic. I don't know what to do with his other hand.

• 3:21Matt McCusker?

  Two, two hands, when I'm like really dying, if I feel like I'm dying on stage, I'll throw that other hand on the mic. Just kind of like, hello, guys. But, yeah, I, um, dude, so you did, you did a bunch of, uh, you were with the campaign with Trump. What was, what was that like talking? How, how, how, how many people were there?

• 3:37Speaker 00

  Wait, firstly, congratulations.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Oh, big one, dude. Yeah, I've never felt better. I've never felt better.

• 3:43Matt McCusker?

  True, man.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  There's so many things I could talk about on this. I wasn't with Trump himself as far as those are like the actual presidential campaign. But there's all these other organizations that do things to campaign.

• 3:52Matt McCusker?

  Got you.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  You won't believe the group I was with.

• 3:55Matt McCusker?

  Well, I'd be curious to learn about them.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  They're called Log Cabin Gay Republicans.

• 3:59Matt McCusker?

  Whoa.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Did you know that was a thing?

• 4:01Matt McCusker?

  You're getting gay Republicans fired up?

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, it was the best.

• 4:04Matt McCusker?

  They knew what they were doing too. You're a handsome, tall man.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  I was like, gay Republicans? That's a thing? We're growing, you know?

• 4:11Speaker 00

  Damn, dude, gay Republicans, and they used to hate black people. They're new, black people are new to Republican Party.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Um, I don't know if you know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.

• 4:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but then for a while there.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  I don't know if you know, I don't know if you don't know about his work. What is this idea that Republicans?

• 4:28Matt McCusker?

  Forget about all of our grandparents, dude. Abraham Lincoln was Republican, dude.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Slavery had nothing to do with racism. It's free work. It's a leverage of power. That's all it is. Money. You go, wait, now I have to pay these fuckers? Look at Amazon right now. They just got a bunch.

• 4:42Matt McCusker?

  Okay, I mean, I hear your logic, but I do think when you go, those guys are all the slaves. It's kind of racist. You're like, yeah.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  That was like a poverty thing. Guess who sold us the slaves? Black people. Rich black people.

• 4:53Speaker 00

  Come on, Jeff. I agree with you. Slavery is the perfect way to build an economy. Yes, but like, you know.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  It's still terrible. We agreed it's bad and got rid of it. It's fucking sad. When are we gonna let these Chinese ones that we got in a... When are we letting these Chinese children slaves go?

• 5:08Matt McCusker?

  There are, there are a lot of, uh...

• 5:10Speaker 02

  One thing at a time, you know?

• 5:11Matt McCusker?

  True. There is still, there are still a lot of slaves in the world. You know, like I said, if you're, if you're, you know, if you're getting upset this time, there's a lot of slavery.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  I love that, like LeBron, like LeBron James is like, huh, the, the civil rights. He's reading Malcolm X upside down and he's acting like he cares about slavery while he's dripping in Nike.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  You're wearing the slave clothes.

• 5:33Matt McCusker?

  But third world countries, it's not slavery. It's just, there's just not enough money. So everyone's a slave by default.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:38Matt McCusker?

  Like, they would pay those guys.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  They'll take the job. They're like, five cents a day? Please.

• 5:42Matt McCusker?

  There's just no money. So it's like, they're just slaves by default. Although, some of them are probably honestly slaves. If you're like a factory guy in a third world, you could probably have like a head stash of slaves and just like, you know, go in there with my paid workers.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Dude, yeah.

• 5:55Matt McCusker?

  There's a lot. There's still a lot of slaves. Sex slaves?

• 5:57Speaker 02

  Sex slaves, yeah. Like, we have, we have sex trafficking in our own country. Like, those are slaves. And that's just a leverage of power. It's, I mean, it's sad, you know? We all agree slavery is bad, but when people try to pretend like it only happens to black people, I'm like, grow up, read some things.

• 6:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's true. They just, they're the hot potato. They got caught with the hot potato last.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  They're like the cool slaves.

• 6:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. They got caught last.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  Last.

• 6:18Matt McCusker?

  But, for real, that's like, that's like, yeah, it is totally devastating.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Native Americans had slaves. Like, like, like India, like every place. You, I dare you to find me a place that didn't have slaves.

• 6:28Matt McCusker?

  The whole world. It was a global institution.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure.

• 6:30Matt McCusker?

  That was technically ended.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  We had it for less than a hundred years and got rid of it.

• 6:33Matt McCusker?

  It was ended by the British. Yeah, we tried it on. We said...

• 6:35Speaker 02

  We said, this feels icky. I'm claiming I'm Christian.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  You said ended by the British?

• 6:40Matt McCusker?

  Yes, it was.

• 6:40Speaker 00

  It wasn't ended by the British?

• 6:41Matt McCusker?

  Who ended it? Who ended slavery? Who chased other ships down? Who, who?

• 6:45Speaker 00

  Abe, dude, our boy.

• 6:46Matt McCusker?

  Now, the British, for real, like, they went at to war.

• 6:49Speaker 00

  Weren't they the guys, just like, they were like, alright, we colonized the world, now let's save it.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  Well, colonization, yeah, like, that's a tricky one, too. I can't believe we're getting into all this.

• 7:00Speaker 00

  It's the podium.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  This is the podium.

• 7:01Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah. It is the podium. But, yeah, it wa- I swear to God, the British, like, like, Mexico stopped slavery, but they didn't, like, get ships and, like, chase slave ships around the fucking ocean, like.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:11Matt McCusker?

  Britain, like, persecuted it. But I also think it could have been, like, we're stopping slaves, you can't have them, because they didn't want anyone gaining the fucking.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  There also might not be anything more diverse than slavery.

• 7:22Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Well, it's every land, it's every person.

• 7:25Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a leverage of power, yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Hardly racial at all.

• 7:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, definitely, yeah, it's crazy to be like, it wasn't, it was definitely.

• 7:32Speaker 00

  I can't wait till the Repub start saying leverage of power next year.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, I start a whole thing.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  And I'm gonna know what you mean.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  What I will say is, uh, working for the Log Cabin guys, it breaks my liberal friend's brains.

• 7:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:43Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Because I'm like, oh, I'm working with Log Cabin, like, what's that? I'm like, gay Republicans? And they're like, uh, uh, but gay is good, but Republican bad, like, they can't get their mind around it.

• 7:52Matt McCusker?

  Why are they called the Log Cabin?

• 7:54Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Lincoln?

• 7:56Matt McCusker?

  Lincoln Logs?

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe, Lincoln Logs, I don't know.

• 7:59Matt McCusker?

  Or there's a bunch of dicks in a cabin. It's the Log Cabin.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  They're the greatest group of dudes ever, they have best sense of humor, and like, I think they're also new Republicans, you know, they're like, sick of this new shit.

• 8:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:11Matt McCusker?

  So they're just like, gay guys, all about their paper?

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Uh, no, no, they're.

• 8:15Matt McCusker?

  Like, they're bred, they're all about getting bred.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  They're just like tired of, um, trans people be considered the same community as theirs.

• 8:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  Like, that's annoying.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  I don't know, man.

• 8:24Matt McCusker?

  What do you think?

• 8:25Speaker 00

  That seems like, that seems miniscule.

• 8:28Matt McCusker?

  What's that? They're, they're gay Luddites.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:30Matt McCusker?

  They're just like, this new fangled technology.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  No, no, they're saying, like, why is this guy pretending like he's with us?

• 8:38Matt McCusker?

  I think they're just conservative gay guys.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  They're like, we're LGBTQ, that's kind of it, we're not, uh, what's this new T thing? Why is T here?

• 8:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Why is T here? What's going on?

• 8:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:48Matt McCusker?

  True, I mean, you know, to be fair, they're losing dudes, becoming women, they're probably like, as a gay block, like, this is not alright, our numbers are dwindling right now.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:56Matt McCusker?

  Because it is, it is kind of like, you know, I could see that, if you're like, an old gay guy, you can get a total revamp.

• 9:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:02Matt McCusker?

  You know?

• 9:03Speaker 00

  Well, if you get a sex change, you become straight again, that's the rules.

• 9:06Matt McCusker?

  Those are kind of the rules.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, they go now I'm a straight go, yeah, this is confusing.

• 9:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you gotta take the law cabin and be like, boys?

• 9:12Speaker 02

  I think the trans thing is really smart, like if you're trying to like, you know, the whole dead name rule?

• 9:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Like it's not, like if you become a woman and I go, ah, I fucking loved my, I hung out with him in Austin.

• 9:24Matt McCusker?

  You better not say my name.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  They would go, hey, don't you, don't you dead name me, right? That's the rules.

• 9:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  But like, you know, Caitlyn Jenner, like, did some, you know, some crimes, you know?

• 9:35Matt McCusker?

  What, we talking about the car?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  The car thing?

• 9:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  But like in court, they could be like, Mr. Jenner, and be like, that was Bruce, baby, that wasn't me. Don't dead name me.

• 9:44Matt McCusker?

  I, I think it, once you go to court, they're like, all right, timeout.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  What, they can do that?

• 9:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they go timeout, and then they can just totally just hit you with, you know, they can call you whatever you want.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Timeout, I like that.

• 9:53Matt McCusker?

  Or the, yeah, they could be like.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  Can I do timeout? I'd love this.

• 9:56Matt McCusker?

  No, you have to be, you need an official position.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Damn it.

• 9:59Matt McCusker?

  Or a big horse.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Can I do challenge flags? Like challenge flag, can we, can we go to someone that can call timeout? Potentially, I'd like that.

• 10:06Matt McCusker?

  You could, you could do whatever you want right now.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  We should adopt timeout and podiums, you're really gonna change the world.

• 10:12Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you, dude, this is.

• 10:13Speaker 02

  It changed my world, yeah.

• 10:14Matt McCusker?

  So how, so how was, what was the experience? You did like a bunch of just like, so there's like, Trump is like, it's like, almost like a mega church, like Trump is the main pastor. But a lot of them have satellite churches.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:26Matt McCusker?

  So you were just ripping at all these things, you did all?

• 10:28Speaker 02

  I did comedy and just told them what I think about, uh, why they should vote for Donald Trump, yeah. It was awesome.

• 10:34Matt McCusker?

  And then at what, at what point did they stuff dollar bills in your pants?

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, at the end, they're like, we're all doing poppers upstairs, I'm like, what the hell?

• 10:42Matt McCusker?

  But no, it is, it is moving now.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Like jalapeno poppers?

• 10:44Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, the conservative flag has wildly extended now.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:48Matt McCusker?

  Where it's like, now it's, they really don't care what you're up to, if you just at least are like, yeah, we agree with you, they're like, fuck it.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  Right, that's why it's great. I'm, I'm a 2001 liberal, which is just now Republican.

• 10:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, it's pretty much, yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  That's all it is.

• 10:59Matt McCusker?

  Oh, so you did a damn exit?

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, for sure.

• 11:02Matt McCusker?

  So where, why, okay, so in 2001.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  I didn't change any of my views.

• 11:06Matt McCusker?

  And you just became a repub.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  But like now, like I seem like a crazy person. I was like, I didn't change anything. You guys changed.

• 11:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:13Matt McCusker?

  Did you catch, did you catch flack for that? Cause you live in LA, right?

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I get a lot of flack for it. But also I didn't get much flack. People were just like, that's how Jeff thinks. Until I endorsed Trump. That's what was, was over the line for them.

• 11:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  They were fine with me being Republican conservative Jeff. They weren't fine with me being pro-Trump.

• 11:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:30Matt McCusker?

  I feel like girls don't really care though.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  All the girls are like closetly obsessed with it.

• 11:35Matt McCusker?

  White girls love Trump.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  They like, they'll like secretly message me like, hey, just so you know, I think this is bullshit.

• 11:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kinda tight. What were you saying, Lamar?

• 11:42Speaker 00

  White girls love Trump.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  And Latiners.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, and Latiners.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  And Latiners and, and white girls love Trump.

• 11:48Matt McCusker?

  He, a lot of people are kinda coming around to him, dude, to be honest.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  He's the best.

• 11:51Matt McCusker?

  Even on CNN, I've noticed they'll be like, oh, we got.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  He's not the best.

• 11:54Matt McCusker?

  This is the real.

• 11:55Speaker 00

  He won already. He's not the best.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  He's in the WWE Hall of Fame.

• 11:58Speaker 00

  I agree dude, but that's not a guy, the only guy in the WWE Hall of Fame I want to be my president is Vince McMahon, okay? Vince McMahon will be the best president.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  See, but that's the thing, he is Vince McMahon.

• 12:08Matt McCusker?

  You guys love wrestling? You guys love wrestling?

• 12:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's our thing.

• 12:11Matt McCusker?

  That's where you guys bonded.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Together, yeah. You guys love wrestling? Cause I know I look like this, but then people go, oh, he likes wrestling? He's actually a fucking, yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Makes sense on a pub thing now.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  He's just big and retarded.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  No, I love, um. I love, I, I think it's also that one of the newest things that's happened to me is like, like, uh, there's a comedian named like Finesse Mitchell.

• 12:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  And, uh, you know, great guy. I thought we were friends. And we, I was at the Laughery, he's like, you've gotten real political lately. And I was like, what? And he's like, you really, like, people keep accusing me of like, oh, you've really chosen a lane. Oh, you've really, oh, you, oh, you're pandering. It's like, no, it's just what I think.

• 12:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Why, why does it have to be pandering?

• 12:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's a fair point because a lot of people, a lot of comedians were like, you know, hitting their selves with all kinds of, like, you know, all the Facebook trends or, you know, Instagram of like, I'm gonna put my profile this, that and this. Everyone was doing shit, but yeah.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  I did comedy in Seattle, Washington, that's where I'm from. And every show, every open mic, every. Showcase was like, Jesus sucks, anti-religion, fuck George W. Bush. You know, abortion this, abortion that. I didn't once go, wow, you guys are really leaning into this whole Democrat bullshit. I didn't once accuse them of grifting or anything, but then I say a thing and they go, oh, look, he's trying to get that Republican coin. It's like, no, no, these are just how I feel.

• 13:32Matt McCusker?

  My thing too is like, dude, it's also, I'm in a, I, I just look at it like a small business owner. It's like, bro, I run a small business. I'll go get whoever's fucking money I want to. Like, if you're gonna be like, you're really making that money. It's like, okay, dude.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  You were on SNL for a year, shut up, Finesse.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  But in my mind, it's like, we're gonna make the money either way.

• 13:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Right. But, but I'm thinking the accusation is insane to me. You know, like, when I was like saying nice things about Barack Obama, all I got was little pats on the bottom. Like, good job, Jeff. Good job, Jeff.

• 14:02Matt McCusker?

  You were then kind of, that was like the accepted view of the space.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Pandering to them, but now that I'm endorsing a guy that's like, like, doesn't think we should cut our kids dicks off. Like, everyone thinks I'm nuts.

• 14:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. That's, apparently that's coming to an end.

• 14:16Speaker 00

  Or prisoners.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  Or prisoners.

• 14:18Matt McCusker?

  We could hack a couple of those guys down a little bit.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Don't hack them the way they like.

• 14:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, come and have.

• 14:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, I, I think it is kind of, I don't know, I, I feel like, I just feel like, I don't know, you shouldn't really worry too much about what anyone else is doing.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  It's comedy. We're just doing the job.

• 14:34Matt McCusker?

  If you get paid for it, God bless you, this is awesome, you know, make your money, you know, people are like, just fucking bullshit. I, I, you know, but you're right though, because everyone was like wildly political, being like, fuck this, fuck that. The whole, the late night itself was just, every show was like, fucking, ah.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're only allowed to be political if you're left.

• 14:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  And like, then if you're a little bit right, you better be real, you know, you better be careful over there. And you're like, why? I'm just gonna say what I think. We're comics. Who gives a shit?

• 15:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, I'm all about getting that bread anyway, dude. Someone's like, you're a painter. It's like, bro, I'm getting that bread.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Well, like, I'm not getting the bread from it. Like, I go, when I do Greg Gutfeld on Fox News, I get zero dollars. They pay me nothing. They put me up in a hotel.

• 15:14Matt McCusker?

  Does it change the ticket sales, though? You're telling me the biggest show.

• 15:18Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah. No.

• 15:18Matt McCusker?

  That's a big show on late night.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  It gets people to come to my show, yeah, for sure. So I guess there is a way to make money of that, on that backend, for sure.

• 15:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, for sure. And that, does it change the demo? Are you getting like, are you getting Geezies up there?

• 15:28Speaker 02

  I get some old, well, that's, yeah, dude.

• 15:30Matt McCusker?

  Fuck it, dude, that's the point.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Absolutely. And also, like-

• 15:32Matt McCusker?

  It's the king of late night. Gutfeld's the king of late night, by the way.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  When I used to, um-

• 15:35Speaker 00

  You can't give gas money to him?

• 15:36Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 15:36Speaker 00

  You can't give gas money to him?

• 15:38Speaker 02

  Gutfeld knows.

• 15:39Speaker 00

  He's the king.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  He's the king of late night free.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  You can't give me gas money, bro?

• 15:43Matt McCusker?

  That is fucked up. They don't give you a dollar. That's crazy.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  But, uh-

• 15:46Matt McCusker?

  SNL pays like five thousand dollars to host.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Well, like, podcasts are free.

• 15:51Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. Joe Rogan's the biggest show in the world. I've never been paid to be on Joe Rogan.

• 15:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  But it's worth it.

• 15:57Matt McCusker?

  Have you ever, have you ever-

• 15:57Speaker 02

  I wanna be on it.

• 15:58Matt McCusker?

  Have you ever asked him?

• 15:59Speaker 02

  Asked him to pay me?

• 16:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but hey, Joe-

• 16:01Speaker 02

  No way, dude.

• 16:01Matt McCusker?

  It's been cool and all, but you think I get twenty-five hundred bucks?

• 16:03Speaker 02

  When Joe- That'd be amazing.

• 16:06Matt McCusker?

  Hey, Joe, my time's kind of valuable, valuable, man. I wouldn't mind to get a little side video. You might know you make a lot of money.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  That'd be so-

• 16:13Matt McCusker?

  Just send a Venmo request.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Just be like, hey, man, I did your whole show. It was a few hours.

• 16:17Matt McCusker?

  I'll need a million dollars. But no, yeah, nobody, that makes perfect sense.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just worth it. You do the things you wanna do, you know?

• 16:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. When Joe replies to a text from me, I'm like-

• 16:30Matt McCusker?

  Holy shit.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  I go, look at this. Like, it's like, what, like, if we had phones when we were in fifth grade?

• 16:34Matt McCusker?

  Have you considered-

• 16:35Speaker 02

  And like Amber Shumaker replied, I'd be like, what the, there's a girl on the phone. Like, I literally am like that when Joe replies. I'm like, holy shit.

• 16:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he holds a really unique position in just like, especially, I would, I would say, popular consciousness, but for dudes in general. A lot of dudes, I've talked to other people about this. People have like a part of your brain that like, while you're showering, like, it just goes into a mode where it's like, well, Joe, let me tell you about this. And you start like practicing what you would say.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:57Matt McCusker?

  Joe Rogan, every dude goes through it. So if he texts you, you're like-

• 17:00Speaker 02

  Well, 'cause he's so cool, too. Like, I've never, like, I don't know many people that are cool.

• 17:05Matt McCusker?

  Apollo descending upon you, and you're like, holy shit, dude.

• 17:08Speaker 00

  More like Xerxes.

• 17:09Matt McCusker?

  You think Xerxes?

• 17:10Speaker 02

  That's why Austin's got a little too comfy with Joe. They'll be up in that green room, and I'm like, you guys are not, fucking Joe Rogan's here. Tighten up.

• 17:19Matt McCusker?

  I still get kinda, for real, I do, I get a little shuddered up.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  He's awesome. Yeah, it makes me happy.

• 17:23Matt McCusker?

  Jack dude, he's getting more, every time I think I've gotten a little jacked, I see him like a month later.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:27Matt McCusker?

  Fuck, gotta get back at him.

• 17:29Speaker 00

  Actual thing from.

• 17:30Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 17:31Speaker 00

  He's turning into the thing from Fantastic Four. Just a man made of bricks.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  You touch him, go, what the hell?

• 17:38Matt McCusker?

  But it is, he is for sure like an absolute power broker and it's like, it is tough to like, yeah, not let that sway your interaction because you're like.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Did you play sports growing up?

• 17:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, do you remember being on like?

• 17:49Matt McCusker?

  Basketball and rugby.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Oh, real sports, fuck.

• 17:52Matt McCusker?

  Played football.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  When I say, that wasn't for basketball, that was for rugby. Um, no, like on my baseball team, like, there'd be like an older boy, you know, like I'm on the, you know, and then there'd be like a cool older guy. Like, that's how I feel when I see Joe. Like, if I say something stupid, I'm like, fuck dude, just said a stupid thing.

• 18:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Like, like, uh, he was showing me his compound, you know, and he was like, this is the cold plunge and then this is the, and then he's like, and this is where I shoot my arrows or whatever the fuck it was. And so then I, I was like, uh, I was like, oh, cool. And I, I said something stupid about the elk or whatever that was up there. And he looked at me like, like it was a question he'd never heard before. And then I was just like, I beat myself up about it for like the next two minutes. Don't ask stupid shit about the arrows.

• 18:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, actually, I, I saw the archery range. I sat in front of the bullseye and let him shoot an apple off my head.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  That's a man.

• 18:39Matt McCusker?

  Nah, I didn't do that, that'd be sick though.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  I was like, you didn't film that?

• 18:44Speaker 00

  I'd only have stupid questions for Joe Rogan. Like, I don't think.

• 18:47Matt McCusker?

  Lemaire, you, you had some, you're cooking with a lot of them, man.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  What?

• 18:50Matt McCusker?

  And they're good. I think they're good though. Every now and again, just dumb questions that are.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  What would be the first question you'd ask Joe Rogan?

• 18:56Speaker 00

  What would be the, if it was like, hey Joe?

• 18:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, you said you'd ask, you had a lot of dumb ones. What's, what would be like, uh?

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Thanks for having me. May I have a job?

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, he'd be like, oh yeah, no. Alright, what, uh?

• 19:07Matt McCusker?

  What did, what did you ask, what'd you ask those NFL players at one time?

• 19:10Speaker 00

  Oh, uh, I can't remember. I think it was Stefan Diggs. And I asked him, uh, because I, I didn't realize they're younger than me. I was thirty and they're like in their twenties.

• 19:20Matt McCusker?

  That is kinda weird.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  That's a crippling feeling.

• 19:23Matt McCusker?

  Sucks.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  I just, I was like, what do you watch on YouTube?

• 19:27Speaker 02

  That's a good question, actually.

• 19:28Matt McCusker?

  That's a good question.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Do you think they were honest?

• 19:30Speaker 00

  Oh, I also said, outside of being black, what else do you think we have in common? That was the first question.

• 19:35Matt McCusker?

  It's a good icebreaker.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's funny.

• 19:37Matt McCusker?

  That's usually my go-to.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Besides being black, what do we?

• 19:43Speaker 02

  That's interesting. Yeah, the, uh, the athletes being our age, I always wondered if it was, because I think, there's nothing cooler to me than a baseball player.

• 19:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Or like, like, like, the idea of Griffey, like, to me is like, that's God.

• 19:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  It went Griffey, then God, then my dad. Like, it was Griffey's number one.

• 20:00Matt McCusker?

  So you're a big baseball guy?

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:01Matt McCusker?

  What did you, did you play, what did you play baseball until?

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Uh, just high school.

• 20:04Matt McCusker?

  Okay, sick.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wasn't great.

• 20:06Matt McCusker?

  What was your, what was your position from, high school baseball is pretty serious, I think.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  Shortstop, yeah, I played shortstop.

• 20:10Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's fun. But, uh, like, when you, when you go, they're gonna be young now.

• 20:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:17Matt McCusker?

  And jacked. There's like, people a decade younger than me that can just beat the fuck out of them. It's kinda shitty.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  What if I have a gun, dude?

• 20:25Matt McCusker?

  True. If you have a gun, yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  I would fuck Aaron Judge up with my gun, dude.

• 20:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true, but it's like, yeah, but still, if you hesitate for one second, if he closes the distance. If he closes the dis- the distance.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  I'd get him while he was sleeping like McNair, you know what I mean?

• 20:38Matt McCusker?

  Just start proactively killing all the young athletes.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  One thing's cool about being older than them, though, is, um, you know, at least if you're, if, if you're in our world of comedy, comedy's kinda become cool now, which was not the case for a long time. You can just DM them and they'll be like, "Holy shit, dude, like, I love your stuff." And they'll like, give you ta- like, that's a better part about being older than them.

• 20:59Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Is like, now I'm not the boy asking for the autograph. I'm, they think I'm cool, which is, that's a nice switch.

• 21:04Matt McCusker?

  What's up, kid? Yeah, where you at? You awake? I'm gonna come through. Where the hell you at? Yeah, it is nice, though. It's, I get blown away when people are like, "Hey," I'm like, "What the fuck?" "Hey, what's going on, man?"

• 21:14Speaker 02

  I got a good J.D. Martinez story. Do you know who that is?

• 21:17Matt McCusker?

  Mm-mm.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Still plays. I think he's one of the most, I think at this point, he's probably one of the older guys in baseball.

• 21:21Speaker 00

  Played for the Braves?

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Uh, no, he played for the Boston Red Sox. I think he's on the Dodgers now, just won the World Series.

• 21:26Matt McCusker?

  So he's been playing for a long time?

• 21:27Speaker 02

  Handsome guy, really, really good-looking guy, and he's cool.

• 21:29Matt McCusker?

  Baseball players are sleepers, bro. A lot of baseball players are pretty han- a lot of hunks out there on the baseball field.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  He's a, he's a good-looking fella, and- So this girl goes, you're going to Boston? I said, yeah, I'm playing this comedy club. She goes, you want to go to Fenway? I was like, I love Fenway. I love, it's hard to get tickets, but I've been before, but I'll take you up on that. She worked at William Morris. And so she was like, she's like, I left me tickets, go to the box office, I do the whole thing. When I sit in the seats, they're, they're good seats, and then it says at the top, zero dollars, comped, you know? And then it said JD Martinez. I was like, I wonder if that's like related?

• 21:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  I was like, that's weird.

• 22:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  So then I DM JD Martinez on Instagram while we're sitting there. I go, aye dude, thanks for the tickets, this is rad, you know, I've been a fan of you for a long time or whatever. And I just showed a photo of the thing. I don't remember what he said, but it was something nice and flattering about my comedy. And then he was like, hang out after the game, I'll come say what's up.

• 22:16Matt McCusker?

  He was texting you during the game?

• 22:17Speaker 02

  It was before.

• 22:18Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's crazy. He just got off. I was like, fuck, let me check my Instagram.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  I'm like an eight year old. I'll get to the game two hours early, have 75 beers. So I guess after, so then after the game, I'm like, this is pretty cool. And we're just hanging out with all these skanks. It's like me, my friend Matty Chimbra, who's a comic, and then just a bunch of girls who are like banging the players or whatever. And they're trying to get everyone out of there. I'm like, I got a DM to stay.

• 22:40Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  So then you're at the front of the nets and JD Martinez.

• 22:44Matt McCusker?

  It's funny, some guy at the clipboard is like, who's fucking this guy? Why is he fucking this guy?

• 22:48Speaker 02

  It's more like that in NBA games. After the NBA games, there's tons of whores. Like, it's amazing.

• 22:54Matt McCusker?

  It's kind of a cool life, though. It'd be like a professional sports groupie and just.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 22:58Matt McCusker?

  Kind of nice.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't pay for anything, do anything.

• 23:00Matt McCusker?

  You're just lined up like Ubers at the airport.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Not a good shelf life.

• 23:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, true, true, true.

• 23:05Speaker 00

  There's a new one that just got, wasn't it Brittany Griner? She got worn out by a bunch of NBA players and now she's poor and crying online. She's in a hijab.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  What? Wait, this is, we've got to separate that it isn't Brittany Griner.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  No, Brittany Reiner.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Okay, good. I was gonna say, holy shit, that would be breaking news.

• 23:24Matt McCusker?

  That's a lady who's in Russia.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Famously lesbian.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  Allegedly trans Brittany Griner is been banging all these dudes.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  She's in her sex.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  So we know something about JD Martinez, this is the end of the story. So we're at the Nets and he goes, you know, he's like, oh man, it's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. We're talking to the net and he's like, uh, he's like, how do you know? And I'm gonna use a fake name. How do you know Christine? And I was like, oh, she's the best dude. Yeah. She just set me up with these. And then we kind of looked at each other like.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  We're both fucking this shit.

• 23:55Matt McCusker?

  Eskimo bros. You guys are Eskimo bros.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  It was amazing. But he was cool with it. I was good. We're like, oh my God. Like it was, cause she is a cool chick. She's not trying to be our girlfriend and.

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  We're, you know.

• 24:05Matt McCusker?

  I love how you say our girlfriend.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Well, she's not, she's not in her mind going, I'm with Jeff Dye or JD Martinez. And we're not going, oh, she's our girlfriend. You know, it's just two grownups, you know.

• 24:15Matt McCusker?

  Do you think that was kind of a Machiavellian kind of ploy on her part to be like, I got you.

• 24:19Speaker 02

  Maybe. Like a flex.

• 24:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Like, bro, don't get comfortable, man.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, that is true.

• 24:23Matt McCusker?

  I get, I'm getting exquisite pipe, dude. Don't get it.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Or trying to make us jealous of each other. So we step up our commitment game.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Dude, who else do you think is on that list?

• 24:31Speaker 02

  For this chick, could be anybody.

• 24:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  She worked at William Morris and she was like an 11. Like she was so beautiful and really nice.

• 24:38Matt McCusker?

  What's William Morris? What is that?

• 24:38Speaker 02

  I think it's an agency.

• 24:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Oh, okay. Got you. Got you. Okay. So she, oh, wow. Yeah.

• 24:42Speaker 00

  It's the guys who own WWE now.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  For a second, I thought it was like a law firm. I was like, I think it's an agency.

• 24:45Matt McCusker?

  I was saying it's one of the big five accounting firms.

• 24:47Speaker 00

  William Morris Endeavor.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  It sounded like it.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  They own WWE and UFC.

• 24:52Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 24:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. I knew they're big because they don't rep me. That's how.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Must be something good, you know?

• 24:59Matt McCusker?

  They should hook you up with the tickets.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was pretty cool. It was cool of him and cool of her. The whole story is positive, but it was like a very funny, like modern story, you know?

• 25:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that is kind of nuts to slowly be like.

• 25:08Speaker 00

  It's all love.

• 25:09Matt McCusker?

  Ah, motherfucker.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's like, it wasn't like a some gross guy that I think sucks or something. It was just like, oh, JD Martinez. And he's going, this comedian guy that I know, you know?

• 25:17Matt McCusker?

  Were you wrapping it up? Not to ask too much details. Were you going raw dogging or like, I just want to know how close your guys' kinship is?

• 25:22Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. I don't, I don't wrap it up.

• 25:24Matt McCusker?

  Okay, cool.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  It's not my style.

• 25:25Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were about to say I don't go raw. I was like.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

• 25:29Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  The opposite.

• 25:30Matt McCusker?

  So you guys are frill links. That's what's up.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  Forever, for life.

• 25:33Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 25:34Speaker 00

  You look like you wear exclusively red condoms.

• 25:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, condoms are crazy dude.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  I don't do it.

• 25:41Matt McCusker?

  Any adults who use them, I'm kinda like.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Ridiculous.

• 25:44Matt McCusker?

  The fuck, I do think it is weird. We just started giving them to kids like, I was like the early 90s. I like just looked into the condom program recently. Cause I was trying to like get to the bottom of like, just like where the party, especially like the left just went like, kinda like a little weird. And it's like, whatever. It was like a response apparently to the AIDS HIV thing.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:02Matt McCusker?

  So I was trying to figure out like, where, when, like at what point did like, you know, go from like Bill Clinton to like it is now. And I didn't, I didn't, I can't answer that question. I just got distracted on the school condom program. I'm like, oh yeah, dude, that was crazy.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  condom programs are strange.

• 26:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  It's similar to the homeless thing where they're like, give them clean needles. I worked at this homeless shelter in Seattle. We would give them like clean needles to go do drugs with.

• 26:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you'd hook them up.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  And I'm like, and they were like, they're gonna find them anyway. So just guys like, I don't think this is a good idea.

• 26:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  Just providing them all this shit. Like it seems strange.

• 26:32Matt McCusker?

  Well dude, apparently they said, I read a book about, uh, it's called Chasing the Scream by, I forget the guy's name, but um, he, what he said worked is when you do not just the needles, but they have to go to a center. And you also give them the clean tested heroin. And it takes away all of the other like thrilling aspects where it's like, I gotta buy heroin, I gotta do this or that. So you're like, you're like, here's free heroin. It's, you know, it's almost a prescription. It's like such a little amount. You mass produce it. And then while they're doing it, you're like, so how's this working out for you? And it's like, it takes away all of like the stuff.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  I've been around the neighborhood. It's not working.

• 27:06Matt McCusker?

  Well, they don't, but they have, they don't.

• 27:07Speaker 02

  The program sucks dude. There's more homeless than ever.

• 27:10Matt McCusker?

  They don't do, they don't do it here.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 27:11Matt McCusker?

  They did it in, I think London before and it actually curbed heroin use.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Oh God, I wish they'd do it.

• 27:16Matt McCusker?

  Giving just needles is kinda like, eh, it's like.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Lazy.

• 27:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's like, it's whatever, but it's like, if you, if you legalize the heroin, it takes away from the black market sales.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:26Matt McCusker?

  And then you have them in a center and he's like, they've done studies, that works.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  To real.

• 27:31Matt McCusker?

  To reduce the number of A overdoses by far, and B, people just, they stop.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Dude, I'm so insensitive about the homeless situation. You get like, I used to be like, I worked at a homeless shelter, like I care. And then like after 7,000 interactions with homeless people a day in Los Angeles, you just lose all your sense.

• 27:48Matt McCusker?

  I could never do it. I I knew somebody who was working with homeless people and I was like, how that would be. Cause there's no, it'd be like, you know, the progress would be few and far between.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  It's it's exhausting. Like you see, like, like, I think when I make fun of the homeless on the internet or like in my act around these towns. They're picturing some lovable boxcar hobo with like a bindle stick and and you know, they think that that's what I'm they go, leave him alone, Jeff. No, it is. Go to LA, go to downtown LA for just a morning, walk around, you'll go, oh, I get it. Yeah, these people is a lot.

• 28:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, nobody.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  They need to die for sure.

• 28:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's well, it's one of those things. You're like, nobody is like, oh, sweet. And you see it and you're like, fuck dude, this is such a bummer.

• 28:29Speaker 00

  There's no way to like differentiate either between like the people who are choosing to be there, the people who have to be there. And then like the people not have to, but like, and the people who like are like crazy.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  Right, the ill or the drug addicted, or yeah, a hundred percent.

• 28:43Speaker 00

  One big circle of people.

• 28:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, at a certain point, it doesn't matter. You know what I mean? No one's sifting through them like, I'll take those guys for today for a pay. You're just going, you're seeing, you're like, ah, there are people. I've seen who are hanging, they're like homeless adjacent where I'm like, you're definitely not homeless, but these are like kind of your bros and you're slowly, I think, becoming homeless. So there is like a pajama pants phase. Everyone goes through where you're kind of like just leaving your house and hanging with homeless people before you get totally sucked into it.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  What's the show me your friends uh saying?

• 29:11Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 29:11Speaker 00

  You know, something about like a.

• 29:14Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. You are the five people you hang around most.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  I hate that uh saying. Cause then it just makes my loser friends get nervous, you know, Jeff's gonna leave us soon. And I want to let them know I won't. I love you, boys. I got your back.

• 29:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I do. That is kind of a weird rule. It'd be like, you are the five people you hang out with the most. It's like, no, I'm not. What the fuck are you talking about?

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, we gotta tell my buddy Aaron, like, you're out, dude.

• 29:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I hang, well, so I hang around.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Not succeeding enough.

• 29:42Matt McCusker?

  I hang around two toddlers constantly.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  You are the.

• 29:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. They do kinda open up your eyes to some sweet shit, though. Yeah. We found our sprinkler system went off and made like a little river and we got to like, I just watched them play in that thing. I'm like, this is kinda cool.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, kids are good that way.

• 29:59Matt McCusker?

  They're kinda cool to like, yeah, she's like, the water's, like she was going to like a crack in the sidewalk and she was just like, this is a river. Yeah. It's not a fucking river, but I'm like, I can see why you're kinda obsessed with this.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  But you wouldn't have cared at all about that. Like, the wonderment of a child is like, cause I used to go to Disneyland drunk all the time with all my buddies. And it rules, it rules.

• 30:17Matt McCusker?

  Dude, you're-

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Strong recommend.

• 30:18Matt McCusker?

  It is tight.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  But then my buddy once goes, oh, my families, my nieces and nephews, they wanna go to Disneyland, I was gonna take them. Do you wanna come with us? So I just kinda like, came with them. Totally different experience.

• 30:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  And it was awesome. I was like, oh my god, to like, you know, like, tease the kids and like make jokes and they think I'm cool cause I'm an older guy or whatever. Like, I was like, oh, this is like a really wholesome version of what I've been doing. Yeah, it's better.

• 30:40Matt McCusker?

  So when you get hammered at Disneyland, are you like, are you trying to like pick up babes or like?

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Nah, just having a good time.

• 30:45Matt McCusker?

  Just chilling, okay. So I'm just curious what the-

• 30:47Speaker 02

  It's kind of exciting to sneak the booze in, you know?

• 30:49Matt McCusker?

  Don't they serve it in there?

• 30:50Speaker 02

  Well, no, you have to go to like California Adventure or go to this one club that's called Club Thirty-Three that you have to be like the pope to get into. So I'm not getting into Club Thirty-Three.

• 30:59Matt McCusker?

  Damn, Disney World, they let it fly. You can get hammered at Disney World.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's great.

• 31:03Matt McCusker?

  It's in Florida.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's great.

• 31:04Matt McCusker?

  Disney World, alcohol is abundant. You can just get shitfaced.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Disneyland doesn't do that.

• 31:09Matt McCusker?

  Dinner and you can just, I didn't know that.

• 31:10Speaker 02

  It's part of the rebellion.

• 31:12Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Sneaking it in.

• 31:13Matt McCusker?

  West Coast, see, that's, how the fuck did you get it in?

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Uh, well, we would like, take these like, plastic flasks that would, you know, whatever.

• 31:20Matt McCusker?

  Got you.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Or, um, the word, the way that doesn't work, don't do this, we took like half Gatorade.

• 31:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  Like, just dumped out half and then filled the rest with like vodka or tequila.

• 31:29Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  They've seen that a million times, I guess, cause they, they've caught us before we even got to like the thing. They're like, that's alcohol. We're like, shit.

• 31:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 31:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, I will say, having, bringing little kids to Disney World is one of the most tiring.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 31:42Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's, they like, there's, it's like an internet joke of like, training for Disney World with kids, cause like, you have to like, carry them.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:48Matt McCusker?

  You will end up walking like six miles or just getting blazed in the sun, but it's-

• 31:51Speaker 02

  There's no fat people at Disney, dude.

• 31:53Matt McCusker?

  You should have Disney World, there are plenty of fat people.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  Oh, really? Not at our Disney.

• 31:57Matt McCusker?

  Disneyland is beautiful.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  You're just gonna walk for eight hours.

• 31:59Matt McCusker?

  Disneyland is beautiful and it's in California too, but like you hit Disney World in Florida, there are fats, bro.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Sounds like it's right up my alley then.

• 32:05Matt McCusker?

  Many fats.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Fat people, you can be hammered there?

• 32:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you can be hammered, you can be as fat as you want. You can not move a muscle all day, you can get hammered on a mobility chair.

• 32:15Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't even think about the mobility chairs.

• 32:17Matt McCusker?

  You ride it, you can ride your mobility chair right to a little boat and it ferries you across into the, under like literally the Magic Kingdom.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 32:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there was plenty of fats walking around there. I was actually, there's, as I was, I wanted to ask like, cause some of the rides, I'm like, dude, if you're like too big to fit on this, like what the fuck do they do? Like, how do you, cause there's, you could be waiting for like an hour.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:34Matt McCusker?

  To get there and be like.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  Also, by the way, it's amazing you brought this up. Get rid of these in front of everyone, practice seats where they bring a big person over, they go, you, fatso, hey, come here. We sit in this to make sure you're gonna, they treat them like luggage at the airport.

• 32:52Matt McCusker?

  When do they do that?

• 32:53Speaker 02

  They'll give them like a practice chair where they'll put the thing in and if the person doesn't fit in it, that means they won't make it on the ride. So that they don't want them to have to wait in the line or get disappointed when they get to the front. So they have like this kinda like example chair, like, you know, kinda like the, are you tall enough line? But they do it with an actual chair.

• 33:09Matt McCusker?

  Are you too fat for this?

• 33:10Speaker 02

  I saw this young man in there and I was mortified for him. Cause they were like, trying to pull the thing down and these like, you know, teenagers that work there are like, yeah, I think you're too big. And I was just going, holy shit. Why didn't they make the seats bigger for the Harry Potter ride? A lot of fat people love Harry Potter. I couldn't believe how.

• 33:27Matt McCusker?

  Well, they, they, uh, they have a.

• 33:28Speaker 00

  Did he try to suck in and did they push?

• 33:30Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 33:30Speaker 00

  The sucking and push?

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Oh, he was doing everything. And he was also mortified, cause we're just all waiting in line going, look at that fat kid over there.

• 33:36Matt McCusker?

  He can't ride, he's too fat.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Also, aren't there fat characters in Harry Potter like that?

• 33:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they should, if you're too fat for the, if you're a kid, you're too fat for the ride, they should just make you like, go get a job. You gotta like leave school, you're done school, you're not a child anymore, you should like join the army, they should be like, alright, you're in the army now.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, Haggard wouldn't even be able to ride the ride. His own ride.

• 33:56Matt McCusker?

  Dude, they gotta do something, man, you know, they gotta, they gotta cut it somewhere. Cause it's like, dude, I, I fly, every now and again, I'll fly Southwest if I can't get a direct flight. And I try to pay the extra so I can get in that first seat so I can sit in the very front.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  You know Matt's doing well, he's like, I used to fly South, sometimes I'll fly Southwest.

• 34:12Matt McCusker?

  I, sometimes I will.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  I know, but like the fact that you framed it like that, I love you, dude.

• 34:17Matt McCusker?

  Sometimes I will, I prefer American.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Sometime, I don't like to admit this. Sometimes I'm on Southwest.

• 34:23Matt McCusker?

  I do. I'm a man of beans. It is weird that I'm every now and again flying, but if you get that front seat, it's so good.

• 34:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:28Matt McCusker?

  So I'm like, alright, I pay the extra bucks so I can be, you know, A1 through 3.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 34:32Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna get the front seat. And then like, every now and again, I'll like be watching, like, alright, you're in a wheelchair, obviously, like, I'm not saying anything. Then it'll just be like a fat guy will get ahead of me.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  I know.

• 34:40Matt McCusker?

  On medical pre-board. And I just wanna be like, dude?

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Dude, drives me crazy.

• 34:44Matt McCusker?

  There's nothing wrong with you dude, you're just fat. You better not take that front seat.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:47Matt McCusker?

  And I know you will, cause you're fat, and you'll definitely want the extra space.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 34:50Matt McCusker?

  And they just fuck me out of the front seat. I'm always like, motherfucker.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  Also, you're being very conservative, saying that it's like a fat guy and then like a guy in a wheelchair. They'll say, "Does anyone need any extra time boarding?" That's a very vague question.

• 35:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's kinda bullshit.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  So now it's just two parents with like three kids. You got a, you know, a guy that's got like a lamp or something.

• 35:08Matt McCusker?

  Uh huh.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  And then there's like a deaf lady, you're like, she's, oh, these handicap people are always going, "We're just like everyone else. We can do anything you can do."

• 35:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Then what's with the special treatment, early boarding bullshit?

• 35:18Matt McCusker?

  Dude, here's the thing, if you have a family, I can see that. You gotta, you have strollers, all this shit. If you're in a wheelchair, whatever you gotta do, go down there. If you're like an old person with a cane, for sure. Every now and again, I'll just see you like, and I'm not trying to be a dick, it'll just be a fat loser.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:31Matt McCusker?

  It'll just be like a guy who's like standing there in a Monster Energy shirt. And I'm like, bro, you get the fuck out of here.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Also, don't worry about sounding like a dick, I'm gonna better take it to a next level. Fuck all of them. You're just like us. You don't get to get on there early. Everyone's taking their time. You, you can go, uh, B56 just cause your legs don't work? I have to let you board first?

• 35:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Why does it matter?

• 35:53Speaker 00

  I don't know, they're not like us though, Jeff.

• 35:56Matt McCusker?

  What? I know, it's bullshit. Dude, again, if you're, if you're main-

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Oh, and missing an arm, I have to be on the plane before you. Who gives a shit?

• 36:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that-

• 36:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's dope.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Why would you get like-

• 36:06Matt McCusker?

  I'll give, missing arms, you go right ahead. I'll give everyone that. There's just dudes who are just like, medical pre-board. I'm like, where dude? Show me your helmet.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  Call of Duty?

• 36:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:17Matt McCusker?

  I got A fucking 3 dude. If I miss that front seat, I'm gonna freak out.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  Just a big fat guy's like, I got the sugar. Yeah, but that's a slow one. That takes a long time.

• 36:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I saw, I saw this guy recently and I was trying, I always try to figure out like, what's your medical condition?

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:30Matt McCusker?

  Unfortunately, I was like, damn, that guy's just such a loser.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  When also, have you seen this happen?

• 36:35Matt McCusker?

  It sounds mean, it sounds mean, but he got a medical grade. The doctor's like, dude-

• 36:39Speaker 02

  You're fucking losing, dude. That's the diagnosis.

• 36:41Matt McCusker?

  It's over for you. It's like, just get on the plane, man. Just enjoy the little.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  Have you ever had this happen? They do the pre-board, right? Or they'll do the thing, they need extra time, right? There's some sort of, they need more time on the airplane. They're really just hogging the overhead space. And, but anyways, so they'll get on, but then they'll sit in the exit row. I'm sorry, I thought that you were some sort of handicapped person, but now you're gonna assist in an emergency?

• 37:04Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna lead the charge, yeah, true.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  So that's, that's conflicting.

• 37:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I didn't even know they did that. That's cause usually they ask you, like, are you okay? Oh yeah, Southwest is whatever.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  They're trying to get that exit row.

• 37:13Matt McCusker?

  Did you ever save a seat on Southwest for somebody when the plane comes on?

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Um, no, but recently yelled at a guy for doing it and it turns out he was telling the truth.

• 37:21Matt McCusker?

  What was the truth?

• 37:21Speaker 02

  I said, hey, can I sit there? Cause there was like very few seats left. I'm one of the last on the plane.

• 37:25Matt McCusker?

  He's like, hell no.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  He goes, well, I'm s- oh no, I said, hey, do you mind if I sit there? He goes, yes. Instead of just saying whatever, so that kinda caught me off. Oh, okay. Yeah, and then he goes, I was like, uh, okay? And he's like, I'm saving it for my wife. And then I was like, I'm the last on the plane. So I'm like looking around, like this guy's full of shit. So I find like just another one, cause there's like four seats on the whole plane available. And I'm sitting there fuming like, fuck this guy.

• 37:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:49Speaker 02

  And he was. His wife was like in the bathroom or something, she came out and I was like, oh, he was right.

• 37:53Matt McCusker?

  Yes, that is crazy not just to be like, yeah, my wife's in the bathroom.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was kinda chippy about it.

• 37:57Matt McCusker?

  Yes?

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:58Matt McCusker?

  Yes, I do mind.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  I didn't like that, something kinda welled up in me, like, oh fuck it.

• 38:01Matt McCusker?

  He was waiting all day to tell somebody that.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:03Matt McCusker?

  He's like, oh, I'm gonna get somebody's ass.

• 38:04Speaker 02

  He chirped at me for sure.

• 38:05Matt McCusker?

  I get, I get spazzed out when people hog up the overhead. We're not, the ones just put it in, just walk, I'm just kinda like, that's exactly where I'm sitting and you're taking up.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  Drives me crazy.

• 38:13Matt McCusker?

  That'll, that'll chap my ass, but yeah, I've been trying to chill on planes though. You can, there's so many battles.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:19Matt McCusker?

  With, with like lining up, it's like, try to line up, someone comes from this way or you're.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, you go, it's a line.

• 38:25Matt McCusker?

  I know, there's so many little battles.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Pretend to not understand lines.

• 38:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Or people just do the masses, like you'll get like, it'll get people in a speed like, people hit the horizontal line and then it'll just become a crowd. And then it's like, well, I don't wanna be like, excuse me, and like edging in and then or.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  If you know you're boarding group six, why are you in the fucking way while people are trying to board one, two, three, four and five?

• 38:44Matt McCusker?

  Cause you wanna both, six is life or death, cause then you wanna be, you wanna be the very first person in six? Cause only one of you's gonna get overhead space.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:52Matt McCusker?

  So that's where the battle comes in, but yeah, it just becomes, turns into a clusterfuck.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  They're like first class and, and then literally there's people just standing there, just wait, and you're like, can you move a little, make a lane for the?

• 39:03Matt McCusker?

  Make it lame.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  It's annoying. Well, I think my biggest battle on airplanes is the flight attendants. That's who my battles with. They're mean now.

• 39:10Matt McCusker?

  They've gotten so mean, dude.

• 39:11Speaker 02

  What is that? Why are you angry with us?

• 39:13Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. They've gotten, I, I was on there recently and, uh, my wife like in the morning, on a morning flight snapped her nail on accident, like fucked it up. And she just asked, the lady was busy doing stuff. She was, hey, when you get a minute, can I get a Band-Aid? Like, no rush, blah, blah, blah. And the lady's like, I'll have to go to the back. And she was like.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Whatever you need.

• 39:31Matt McCusker?

  Okay. Well, you know, take your time. No rush. You know, get the plane seated. We don't, this isn't like bleeding or anything. And the lady was just like, heavy sigh, does her thing. And then after the plane was all seated, I was like, yo, uh, can I get that Band-Aid, please? Very nicely. Where the fuck's our Band-Aid? Dude, she literally went, ah, and then walked to the back to get the Band-Aid. And I was like, whoa, dude, what was all that about?

• 39:52Speaker 02

  It makes no sense.

• 39:52Matt McCusker?

  Fuck. I've heard they don't get paid until the brake gets released and the plane moves backwards.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't give a shit when they get paid.

• 40:00Matt McCusker?

  I think that's terrible, dude.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  They suck.

• 40:02Matt McCusker?

  Why don't they get paid?

• 40:03Speaker 02

  They think they're plane police.

• 40:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, some of them are nasty, especially during COVID. That was kind of tough.

• 40:08Speaker 02

  Drives me crazy.

• 40:09Matt McCusker?

  That was tough. That was annoying. Now, now that like COVID's not happening and they're not like, like not letting you get that like breath of fresh air through your nose. I'm like, whatever. I'm putting it all behind me.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  They'll like yell at me. I'll put like, I'll check, uh, you know, for the overhead space. I'll open the thing. And she's like, if it's closed, it means it's full. And I was like, I see people mindlessly close these things all the time.

• 40:29Matt McCusker?

  That's not true. There's often a lot of space available.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Sometimes I'll put mine in and just close it to see if it closes. I'll leave it closed and there's two actually, you know.

• 40:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they don't need to do that. I don't understand. I, I guess they're like repeating the same scenario over and over, but they still don't have to like, I don't understand why, like TSA does that.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:43Matt McCusker?

  They'll be like, it's not, it's like, dude, you don't have to yell. I'm right here. I don't have to yell at me. I, I, I don't know the rules.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  It's a, yeah, it's like a disease of like, if it's obvious to you, you think everyone should know it.

• 40:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  You know, it's like, not everyone flies every day. You know, some old lady's like, do I need to take my iPad out? And they're like, everybody, electronics come out. You're like, geez, why, why are you mad at her? She doesn't fly that often.

• 41:07Matt McCusker?

  They do spaz. But I'm telling you is because they, when you're a flight attendant, you have to wake up and you're in like a queue. It's like you, you just have to wake up, you're in a queue. I think you just stand at the airport till your number gets called and then you go work.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  It's like Uber.

• 41:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, so you wake up and you're just like chilling and then they're like bam, I think if you have like seniority, they'll call you, like you know you're going in, but there's a lot of them who are like, just like, oh, I don't know if I'm gonna get to work today. Bam, they pull your number and you're, you're like rushing to the flight, you're getting there, gotta do all this shit and then it's, if it gets delayed at all, you're just standing there for forty-five minutes on the runway. If he doesn't like back up, as soon as the door closes and they release that brake, then your clock starts to get paid. That would piss me off. If I was at work and I had to do all that shit and I didn't get paid, everyone who didn't sit down, I'd be like, will you sit the fuck down?

• 41:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, but here's the thing, Matt, here's the thing. Being criminals are difficult to deal with, but I won't tolerate a fucking grumpy shitty bad cop. And, and kids are a lot, but that doesn't mean teachers get to be mean to the kids.

• 42:08Matt McCusker?

  That's true.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  And yeah, oh, it must be real hard to be a gay guy or a hot chick that's a flight attendant, but you still gotta do the job.

• 42:15Matt McCusker?

  True. That, this is very true. You're totally right. But in terms of hot chicks and gay guys, I guess, it's gotta be devastating. To be a hot chick with an annoying, an annoying job, has to suck.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  They don't understand it.

• 42:26Matt McCusker?

  They shouldn't have to.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  They go, what is this?

• 42:28Speaker 00

  That's technically the best hot chick job, because they can fly anywhere for free.

• 42:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but dude, it ages them, man.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:33Matt McCusker?

  It's so hot that they're in the sky, but it fucks you up. If you fly that much, it's, it's gonna fucking drain your life force.

• 42:39Speaker 00

  Oh, it's, yeah, because you're time traveling.

• 42:41Matt McCusker?

  Pretty much. You're up high, it's fucking with your blood circulation.

• 42:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, and you definitely.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  You're all gassy.

• 42:46Matt McCusker?

  You're just looking, they're just looking for a husband.

• 42:47Speaker 00

  You definitely gotta suck the pilot's stew.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Do you guys fart a lot when you fly?

• 42:51Matt McCusker?

  Uh, well, no, recently I made the switch, yes, for the answer question, yes, I fart. Unbelievable, unbelievable, to the point now where like, again, if I'm flying with my wife, she'll be like, did you just fart? And I'm, I'm trying to have a conversation where I'm like, will you shut the fuck up?

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, you just said that loud, honey.

• 43:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm like, even like to me, I'm like, look, don't worry about that.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  You grab her arm? What the fuck?

• 43:09Matt McCusker?

  So now I take shits on the plane.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 43:11Matt McCusker?

  If I'm farting, I just go and I just take a dump on the plane. I think it's the right thing to do.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  Because I'm not like a gassy guy.

• 43:17Matt McCusker?

  Well, I am.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  But when I'm flying.

• 43:18Matt McCusker?

  You start to fart.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  A lot of farts. And I'm like so embarrassed, I'm doing the blow thing, like.

• 43:22Matt McCusker?

  And a boner. You have a boner and you're farting the entire time.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of boners and a lot of farting.

• 43:28Matt McCusker?

  But if I catch myself, if I do more than like, well, you know, if I have like one or two farts, whatever, but if I catch myself like repeating it every like ten minutes and I'm like, I'll just get up and take a shit. And it like. It's kind of harrowing to like go in there, sit down, there's like a lady on like the other side of the wall.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  I know.

• 43:42Matt McCusker?

  Puffing and puffing over coffee cups. You're sitting there like.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  It is weird.

• 43:46Matt McCusker?

  Shitting next to her.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  I like that little bathroom though, on the airplane.

• 43:49Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I've gotten used to shitting in them and it's kind of, I kind of like them honestly.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  It's cozy.

• 43:53Matt McCusker?

  It's cozy, you're boxed in, you know what you're doing, you're, it's just all business.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  The pee's a little hard for me, I'm 6'5", so when I pee, the wall's going like this, you know? I gotta do like a strange limbo piss.

• 44:04Matt McCusker?

  I can't imagine, cause I'm, I'm only like 5'10" and I'm in a bath, I'm in those airplane bathrooms, I feel like fucking Alice in Wonderland. I was like, I have a lot of cousins who are your height, like 6'5", 6'6" and I'm like, how the fuck do they even enter?

• 44:16Speaker 02

  I feel like Slenderman, cause you know that the middle of the door is like a fold, so that open, the door will open. My knees are right on that thing and I'm like, oh, this'll be my worst nightmare.

• 44:26Matt McCusker?

  Impossible for, you might not be able to shit in there.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  I've shit in there, but it's like, it'd be like my worst nightmare if that just pops open and people wait in there like, ah!

• 44:34Matt McCusker?

  I walked in on somebody one time, they didn't lock the door. I walked in on a, a young, young lady who I believe had just gotten her period.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  Oh no.

• 44:41Matt McCusker?

  And I walked in and she went, ah! And I just slammed it shut, I had the foot attendant grilled me like, you fucking pervert. And I had to be like, dude, I just opened the door.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not my fault, it's hot.

• 44:50Matt McCusker?

  I just.

• 44:53Matt McCusker?

  So I just opened the fucking door and then she was like, she came to her senses and was like, yeah, actually that's, it's kind of on her and it was, it was a big deal, bro. She left a fucking glob of toilet paper.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  Oh, that's why.

• 45:05Matt McCusker?

  I had to come out, cause I followed her up and I had to come out and be like.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  Someone's got a tail.

• 45:08Matt McCusker?

  That wasn't me, by the way, yeah, I'd be like, yo, I didn't do that, uh, there's a bit of a situation over there. And it was like a big deal and like another girl made a big stink about it and like dude, it was, I felt bad for a little girl, cause another girl came out after me and was like, ew, someone got their period in the ba- and I was just sitting there like, holy fuck dude, that sucks.

• 45:24Speaker 00

  That's rude.

• 45:25Matt McCusker?

  That was rude, but she was a young girl.

• 45:26Speaker 00

  You got your period in the bathroom.

• 45:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, someone just got their period in there and I was like.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  That'd be hilarious, if they're like, man had his period in there. I didn't throw it.

• 45:34Matt McCusker?

  I didn't. I could've been like a hammer, I could've been like a popped hemi, I didn't want to get like the, like this guy just fucking have like an open sore.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:41Matt McCusker?

  I just wanted to come out and be like, by the way, I went to ladies, like that was not me.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  What a legend. He made having a popped hemorrhoid sound cool.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  He was able to go, I don't know, pop a hemi, you know, and then it made it sound rad.

• 45:55Matt McCusker?

  You could. It's fucking rad. Damn, that guy's got fucking nasty hemorrhoids. Like, nope, that was a young girl getting her period.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  I just popped a hemi, dude.

• 46:01Speaker 00

  I used to sleep on the plane.

• 46:01Matt McCusker?

  We've both popped hemis before. It's not good.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  I don't even know what a hemorrhoid is.

• 46:06Speaker 00

  Well, butt cyst, uh, pylondial cyst.

• 46:08Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah?

• 46:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's like a...

• 46:10Speaker 02

  It's no walk in the park, I'm guessing.

• 46:11Speaker 00

  It is not a walk in the park, dude.

• 46:12Matt McCusker?

  Imagine if a, a thing, just, you know, your buttholes, you know, perfect little butthole, you gotta poop out of it.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:19Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's clear. Everything's fine. Imagine if just something grew in front of that.

• 46:23Speaker 02

  Is that what it is?

• 46:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Well, that's, there's different types of hemorrhoid, but the thing, we both got the same one where it's just like, just like some part of your asshole just balloons full of like liquid.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  Like a, an inflamed kind of thing, like a nerve or something?

• 46:34Speaker 00

  Sinus tract. It's a sinus tract in your asshole.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:37Matt McCusker?

  Sinus tract?

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Is there a way to avoid this? Like, is there something you did that?

• 46:41Matt McCusker?

  Don't push, don't push too hard.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 46:43Matt McCusker?

  I was straining a little bit and don't, the, the, the number one is don't sit on the toilet and fuck around for a long period of time.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 46:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, so I would sit there and on my phone.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  Guilty of the first one, not guilty of the second one.

• 46:52Matt McCusker?

  You're all, you pop right up.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Because I'm pushing so much. I'm like a little rabbit, man. You should, if I went and took a shit right now, none of you would believe I took a shit.

• 47:01Matt McCusker?

  You're quick, you're in.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  There you go. Zero chance to digest shit, dude. But like, I'm, I'm, I mean, like a rabbit, pop, pop, I'm fucking out.

• 47:06Matt McCusker?

  Really? See, I like to read. I'll sit there and read a book. I'll read on my phone.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting. Well, you're a family guy. You're trying to get away from the wife and kid.

• 47:12Matt McCusker?

  That's a big one too, man. The shit break for real is serious. Cause it's like, and it's like, I, we both, you both police each other.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Value time.

• 47:18Matt McCusker?

  You don't want to go back. Cause you're sitting there like, I'm like, I gotta shit and you're just free. Cause it's like you're at a job all the time. So then you're like, I gotta shit with my wife and she's like, I gotta shit. You're just like, you motherfucker. And I'll be like, don't be fucking around your phone. Come right back. Cause I know she's fucking around on the phone.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Cause you know what you do.

• 47:35Matt McCusker?

  Like, hey.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  It's perfect.

• 47:36Matt McCusker?

  Don't be, don't be fucking around your phone. And I, you know, you start being like, are you almost done? You know, you start kind of being like, you know, give her 10 minutes max. You're like, all right, just let's go. I have a, she'll be like, why are you down up there? And I'll be like, yeah, I'm done right now.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  We know what you're doing in there. You're on Candy Crush. I can hear it going, wow.

• 47:51Matt McCusker?

  Excellent. Especially if you're reading a book, I'll get like engrossed in it. You just forget. You're just like, damn, this is awesome. And all of a sudden I'm just like, oh shit, I got down there. But. Dude, I got that one and it like, I was at, I was in school. I went to school for social work like years ago, uh, in 2020, which was kind of fun, but the, uh, I remember I was like doing, had to go to a test and I had to like jam, I think it popped, but I was worried.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Oh no.

• 48:13Matt McCusker?

  Well, I was, I was waiting for it to pop and so I had to like put toilet paper between my ass cheeks. Cause I had to like do something that day in front of the class.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Little man pond.

• 48:20Matt McCusker?

  Exactly. So it really was.

• 48:22Speaker 00

  And did you get the smell?

• 48:24Matt McCusker?

  I think it popped at home and I don't remember getting the smell.

• 48:27Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 48:27Matt McCusker?

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• 49:11Matt McCusker?

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• 49:52Matt McCusker?

  Getting off asses, not even our asses, just getting, if you're just laying on someone else's like a pillow and just breathing in that smell. With bold flavors and a crisp, refreshing citrus kick, Mountain Dew gives you that extra push to get moving and feel like you're on top of the world. The sun's always shining, your crew's ready for action, and unforgettable adventures are just around the corner. Oh my god, personal endorsement, here we go. Call out my favorite flavor, guys. I'm a classic man. I like that classic, dude. Um, they're giving me some verbiage to use. They're going with, they want me to go with great tasting, refreshing, and has a citrus kick. How about that?

• 50:36Matt McCusker?

  You love drinking something going, wow, that's a citrus kick. That is the best. It helps you connect with others, they're saying, yeah, that's.

• 50:47Matt McCusker?

  It is a treat. That's a nice one, guys, it's a treat. Helps you celebrate, helps you express yourself. It helps you take a break, that is amazing. Talk about what game slash activity I'd play with friends, guys. You, I've, I don't know why they keep making me talk about this. This is like my deep personal life. But me and my friends, we all take the bottle. And I hide it, usually like we'll take turns, like we'll all, if me and my friends are hanging out, one of us has a bottle of Mountain Dew down their pants. So every time I see my friends, we like shake hands, I'm like, you got the Dew on you? And like sometimes I'm just grabbing their penis, I'm like, I thought you'd have the Dew, my bad. But every now and again, one of us will be bricked up, but with the Mountain Dew, and we'll pull it out and we just drink it out of each other's fly, it's pretty funny.

• 51:30Matt McCusker?

  Guys, the mountain is calling, you should answer. Grab your friends, grab an ice cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold, and do the Dew. You can see, okay, you can see this, contractual purposes, bang, lay your eyes on that. Hey guys, real quick, I know, just another quick advertisement. Lucy is made for your nicotine routine and delivered straight to your door. It's 100% pure nicotine and always tobacco free. Lucy isn't like every other nicotine pouch company that's owned by big tobacco. They're like the mom and pop shop of pouches. Have you heard about Breakers? They are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise. Each pouch holds a capsule that can be broken open to release extra flavor and hydration. If you know your pouches, you know that the nicotine doesn't hit instantly.

• 52:16Matt McCusker?

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• 53:00Matt McCusker?

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• 53:45Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna do some boudoirs. When you go in black and white and you're like, it's very sexual. I'm gonna send it to my, but it's not like pornographic at all. It's very tasteful and just very erotic. I'm gonna go black and white, just me on the sheets. Just leaving everything to, just, just a, a tiny cloth over my tiny penis and send it to my parents. And if that's not personal enough, you can upload a video message to play on the frame as soon as they plug it in. So the first thing they hear is your voice and how much you love them all. Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames by using promo code MSSP at checkout. That's A-U-R-A Frames.com promo code MSSP. This deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Wait, so how do you, I don't know if you guys want to even talk about this, but do you have to get like surgery to get rid of it?

• 54:35Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you can.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  Or just wait?

• 54:36Matt McCusker?

  You can.

• 54:37Speaker 00

  I, last time I had one, I had to go, it was, I was thinking it was Shane and Tony and they were doing a thing for next in line, not the NFL, whatever, NIL deals? And it was just so big, I was just sitting on it and it was fucking.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Ah, that's terrible.

• 54:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, I went to the hospital, I went to the urgent care.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:56Speaker 00

  And I like popped in the urgent care. So the guy was like, luckily it popped before I had to do anything. It was like crazy.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel real lucky, doc, thanks.

• 55:06Speaker 00

  He was just like squeezing my ass the whole time.

• 55:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  I'm such a bitch about these kind of things, like, I, I just was washing my ass too thoroughly.

• 55:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  So it was just dry, but it was so itchy that I was like, I've gotta go to a professional, you know? I'm 40 now, I want to see what's going on. And he was like, you just are, you're, you're washing your ass too much, like too.

• 55:28Matt McCusker?

  What's your ass washing regimen?

• 55:29Speaker 02

  Well, I was just getting in the shower, I would just use like shower gel or, or soap to just wash, make sure my asshole's clean.

• 55:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's drying you out.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  But like I'm using all these soaps and things and, but anyways, so once I saw him, he's like, your asshole's fine, you know, he's like, you just need to not be.

• 55:42Matt McCusker?

  How did you show the doctor your asshole, by the way?

• 55:44Speaker 02

  I had to do the whole thing.

• 55:45Matt McCusker?

  Like bend over?

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Well, I laid on, I laid on the bed thing, cause he gave me the whole 40 year old check after that. I figured like I'm, I'm half the age, let's just check.

• 55:52Matt McCusker?

  My asshole's, my asshole's fucked up. I've never had a dry asshole, I'm more of a humid guy.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  Oh, so dry. It was like.

• 55:58Matt McCusker?

  You had a chapped, you had a chapped ass.

• 55:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, it would itch it so much that it would like bleed and I was like, I need to go because I'm itching it up. But, but what I was gonna say is like, I, if you could have, yeah, I'm a confident guy. I was such a bitch when I was like in there. I'm like, I was, I kept saying sorry to him, I was like, ah, sorry. He's like, you know, you're all right, I do this every day. And then I was like, he's like, it's just dried out. And I was like, yeah, I'm sorry. He's like, you don't have to keep.

• 56:21Matt McCusker?

  What was the, what was the, you're just holding your dick.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  I just kept going, man, I'm so sorry. I felt like MacGruber, like, I'll suck your dick, dude, I'm sorry.

• 56:28Matt McCusker?

  Sorry, fucked my ass up, doc. I have one job to keep my ass all right and I fucked it up.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  I was like, I feel terrible, I had to come in here, waste your time. I don't even have a thing.

• 56:37Matt McCusker?

  You're on antidepressants now, you're like, my whole fucking life's over.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  I don't know why I took, treated, it felt so strange, dude.

• 56:43Speaker 00

  Sorry, sir.

• 56:44Matt McCusker?

  I had a show, yeah, I, I had a show, uh. So I was getting eczema, I didn't even realize it was eczema. And it fucking hit my dick. So, and but the problem was, it was like, it was around that area, so I started just, I thought it was ringworm, so I was just bombing it with like

• 56:59Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 56:59Matt McCusker?

  Boaterman cream. And I fucked, I wrecked my dick for like two months, and it was just dry and red.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  That's a terrible feeling.

• 57:06Matt McCusker?

  And I had to go to, finally, I was like, fuck, I gotta go to an urgent care, and I go in, and it was, first the nurse had to look at just my shriveled, tiny, red penis.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  It's the worst, dude.

• 57:14Matt McCusker?

  I was like, alright, I did that, I'm like, whatever. I think I had showed it to dermatologists earlier, who had no idea, or no, I think the dermatologist actually said.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  This is before you had a family and all that?

• 57:21Matt McCusker?

  I had a family.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Oh, you did?

• 57:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I had a family, so I'm like, it was terrible, but I had to, uh, so I do that, I go to the urgent care, a nurse looks at it, like, oh, let me bring someone in. Dude, the biggest black guy I've ever met in my life, like, I swear to god, he's like, I gotta take a look at that, and I was like, okay, and it's him, and then two nurses, because they were arguing whether it was ringworm or something else.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 57:39Matt McCusker?

  And then, so it's just this dude and just two ladies that all be like, well, having like, I don't think it's that, like, and I'm just sitting there like.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  They're using democracy, let's take a vote on, uh...

• 57:49Matt McCusker?

  But then eventually I went to, and that, like, nothing came of that, they gave me whatever, and then I had to go to a dermatologist, they were the ones who prescribed the, uh, steroid ointment, and they were like, no, this is, it's not what this is at all, and then they cleared up.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  That's great. How good was that feeling, to not every time you go to the bathroom, reminded of the problem that you have, like, to have it just completely?

• 58:08Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dude, it was, it was itchy and dry, but my dick, and it was, dude, it was ter, it would, it would like go away and flare up and go away, and it was, it was just kind of like, it was shit I was eating, I think. But, yeah, and then the dermatologist was also a beautiful woman.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Ugh.

• 58:19Matt McCusker?

  And just had to like, and I had to go back and be like.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  I got kicked out of an STD clinic because I refused to like cooperate with the nurse.

• 58:27Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 58:28Speaker 02

  I wanted to just get, so like, sometimes, you know, I would just randomly go get STD checks, because like, I would break up with a girl, and then hook up with a couple of other girls, and then that girl would be like, I know you were fucking around when we broke up, like, I want you to go prove you don't have anything. And it always comes back clear, I'm not hooking up with homeless chicks.

• 58:45Matt McCusker?

  You get a test, and then if you don't have anything, I don't have anything.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, why, why do I have to prove the paperwork, but, but they'll be like, well, I haven't slept with her, and I was like, alright, then I'll just say that too, like, if we're just using an autism.

• 58:54Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that makes, oh, that makes sense, you took a break and then came back.

• 58:56Speaker 02

  So, I'm, I'm in there, and... And she just was asking all these questions and I was like in one of my Jeff Dye moods. You know, she was like, she's like, how many partners have you had? Don't worry about it. And she's like, I need to know. I was like, no, you don't. You don't need to know. And the nurse is like, I have to ask you this. I was like, I know.

• 59:15Matt McCusker?

  Damn, she hit you with like, you probably sleep with a lot of girls, don't you?

• 59:17Speaker 02

  That's what it felt like to me. And maybe it was because I was projecting on her from like the conversation I just had with my girlfriend or something. She's like, well, how many partners have you had? And I was like, if it's more than zero, check my dick. And she goes, sir. And I was like, no, but that's, that's true.

• 59:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  Just check my penis.

• 59:32Matt McCusker?

  She wants to know your body count, dude.

• 59:34Speaker 02

  Well, that's the thing.

• 59:34Matt McCusker?

  She's like, bro, your body count is high as hell.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, check.

• 59:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Just, just if I have, let's say I checked with a thousand women. Are you gonna check it more thoroughly?

• 59:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  Just check my cock. Like, what's the problem?

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• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Uh, why?

• 1:00:17Speaker 00

  They need to know.

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  That is a fair question. No, that is a fair question. They don't need to know any of that.

• 1:00:21Matt McCusker?

  All they need to know is like, did you ever have sex before? And you're like, yeah, I did. And they go, all right, we'll check your dick.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I'm, I'm, cause I said zero.

• 1:00:27Matt McCusker?

  If you were a girl, there's no way they would do that. If you were a girl, and they're like, how many people have sex with? That'd be kind of like offensive for girls.

• 1:00:33Speaker 00

  Any number over one is a slut.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  My guy. Uh, yeah, I was just, it was so, it was so weird and they didn't want any of my bullshit and so.

• 1:00:45Matt McCusker?

  So you got kicked out?

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  I got kicked out before they did the test.

• 1:00:47Matt McCusker?

  What'd you have to do then?

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Uh, I lied to my girlfriend. I was like, yeah, I've got checked. We'll see.

• 1:00:52Matt McCusker?

  Pretty cool. A lot of good people up that place.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, great, great spot. You were done quick. I know, I know, I know. Why is the date on this STD thing wrong?

• 1:01:00Matt McCusker?

  Why didn't, why didn't you just say like, I don't know, five? You should have been like a girl. Like, like four.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. I guess I wanted to check too, you know, in my mind, I'm like, maybe I do have something, you know?

• 1:01:08Matt McCusker?

  You should have been like, I only eat pussy. So I don't know, whatever that counts.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  She'd be furious. You've never ate my pussy, I'm like, ah, sorry. It's kind of another girl thing.

• 1:01:17Matt McCusker?

  I, uh, yeah, only, I gotta say, I haven't been to the doctor in years. I can't wait to go back and answer the hard questions.

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  Dude, I was pissed.

• 1:01:23Matt McCusker?

  Tell him I do crystal meth. I'm like, yeah, I do crystal meth.

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what we should be lying. Over exaggerate everything to our physicians to see if they'll check us different.

• 1:01:30Matt McCusker?

  Or if it's like, you know, you give blood, like, have you had sex with a man in Africa after 1975? Just be like, oh, yeah.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, tons of times. Run that twice.

• 1:01:40Matt McCusker?

  Put it in the center, fumble. Yeah, I want to go back to the doctor and just wild out. It's like, oh, yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  The questions are in strange orders, too, thinking about that one, because I went to, um, before we went to Africa, we had to get like a bunch of shots and stuff. And, uh, not for COVID, don't worry. And, um, they were like, uh, they're like, have you had sex with anyone? Oh, no, have you been to Africa? And we're like, no, we're going to Africa. And the next question was like, have you had sex with anyone in Africa? I was like, well, no, I haven't been to Africa. Like, the question was just like strangely worded.

• 1:02:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's kind of weird. Wait, so in to get into Africa, you gotta be like a virgin? Or you gotta be like, I've never fucked anyone from this country?

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  I don't know, it's maybe a part of the thousand questions they asked me.

• 1:02:20Matt McCusker?

  That's fucked up, though, because no other country is like, have you fucked anyone from here before? It is, because they asked you that on blood tests, like, have you fucked somebody from Africa in 1975?

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  That's a racist question.

• 1:02:29Matt McCusker?

  It is kind of fucked up.

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:30Matt McCusker?

  If you're gonna give your blood, they're like.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, this African fucker.

• 1:02:34Matt McCusker?

  You fucked an African, you fucked an African man in 1975?

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  You don't want Jeff's blood. He's fucking all these people in Africa.

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  I had one summer.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  You had a wild. Had a hot African summer.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  Me and Jane Goodall.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  It's ruined my medical history. Me and Jane Goodall is the fucking best example I've ever heard.

• 1:02:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, uh, yeah, I haven't been to the doctor in such a long time. I stopped going around COVID.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:02:58Matt McCusker?

  I was just done with it, yeah.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Done with doctors.

• 1:03:00Matt McCusker?

  They got real pushy and I was just kind of like. Every time I go there, they're like, oh, your cholesterol looks good. And I'm like, fuckin', I don't care about that.

• 1:03:07Speaker 00

  Doctors are just, uh, pill salesmen now.

• 1:03:09Matt McCusker?

  Well, they are, they are. Yeah, well, I'm gonna try to find one that I like, that like, just like, dude, run my blood, look for stuff that's actually important.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:18Matt McCusker?

  Like, I don't give a fuck.

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  I find myself being, uh, dishonest with my doctors.

• 1:03:23Matt McCusker?

  Everybody, they, they, they account for that. When they ask you about drinking, they kinda like triple it, usually or double it.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, they'd be like, uh, how much are you drinking? And I was like, I don't know. He's like, well, like, uh, three times a week? And I almost like laughed out loud, like, what a fucking pussy. Thinks I drink three times a week. And then he's like, oh, more? And I was like, yeah, how about every day since 2001? Is that, is that a lot?

• 1:03:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. That'll do it. I, I'm actually, uh...

• 1:03:48Speaker 00

  Twenty-year bender.

• 1:03:49Matt McCusker?

  I kinda keep them on the outs about everything. I'm like, nah.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:03:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't really drink that much, but I'm always just like, I don't, what the fuck, you don't need to know this.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Just check our bodies.

• 1:03:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, see what I'm...

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  These questions are very intrusive.

• 1:04:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, even like, do you smoke weed? I'm like, actually, lately, I've been like, eh, sometimes, sometimes I do. Sometimes I get high and I freak the fuck out.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  You guys like weed? You guys good at it?

• 1:04:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I was, and then recently, it's been like kinda, it, well, for, it's been like a back and forth thing. It's like a, it's like Russian roulette. Every now and again, I can have like an amazing time, and then I can just have like the most harrowing afternoon where I'm just freaked out.

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, see, I hate it.

• 1:04:27Matt McCusker?

  Racing.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  And all my friends that smoke weed, fucking, love you, boys, but you're losers. You know, like, like, it's, I don't like...

• 1:04:34Matt McCusker?

  How do you figure?

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  They're not like high achieving, you know, they're, they're just doing nothing.

• 1:04:38Matt McCusker?

  That's, some people can smoke weed and...

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  And do nothing.

• 1:04:41Matt McCusker?

  Some people can get it done.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  I don't know anyone that's thriving.

• 1:04:43Matt McCusker?

  Such a lame take.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  All my alcohol, all my alcohol friends, fine, successful, all my friends that like do mushrooms, they won't shut the fuck up about it. They're happy as hell, they're making look, relationship connections, they're, they're doing beautiful things with their mind. And then all my weed friends fucking not doing shit.

• 1:05:03Matt McCusker?

  It can happen. The people can burn out. I think, I mean, our founding fathers smoked weed, definitely not a patriot, but the, uh...

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  They probably did good things, then they smoked weed.

• 1:05:15Matt McCusker?

  No way dude, dude, here's the thing, the weed's gotten too strong. I agree. It's gotten way too strong and it's like, I have found, I like to get, uh, the, it's called type two cannabis. It's half CBD, half THC. It's chill. If you smoke dabs and stuff, I do think that kind of can fuck people up.

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:05:31Matt McCusker?

  There are some people that can do it, that are lawyers.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  Maybe here's where I'll adjust. I'm teachable.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  Just enjoy it, right? Like I had to ask you, I didn't come in here and you're like, oh, it's fucking, oh, we got the weed painting. I got a marijuana leaf on my laptop. Those are the guys I'm talking about. Who can't even talk to me at a fucking smoothie place without taking a rip off some mechanical weed thing. That's who I'm talking about.

• 1:05:59Matt McCusker?

  You're absolutely, no, you're absolutely right. There is, there's a.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Kevin Smith, or these fucking losers that have some teenage obsession with weed. That's who I'm criticizing. Not a man with a wife and kids and a successful career.

• 1:06:11Matt McCusker?

  No, dude, I, it, there is, no, but here's the thing, it is fair, because there is, it does fuck up your product, for me, it does fuck up productivity. I have to wait till I'm done everything. If I'm like, I'm gonna smoke weed and get creative and write, I'll just go for a walk.

• 1:06:23Speaker 02

  And the kids fall off the balcony and you're like, oh, sorry, eh?

• 1:06:27Matt McCusker?

  The, the dabs were where I kind of, there was like, I smoked weed since I was little, and then there was the dabs, and that's where I was like, I stopped. I was like, that's too much. When the dudes just like blast the thing on a, did you ever see that? It's just like a concentrated wax?

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:41Matt McCusker?

  I watched that occur and I was like, that's too much.

• 1:06:44Speaker 00

  Dab is weed crack, basically.

• 1:06:45Matt McCusker?

  It is.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 1:06:47Matt McCusker?

  But I will say, smoking a little bit of weed and watching a movie, it's the best. Going, going to the movies and smoking weed, it's, it's the best.

• 1:06:54Speaker 00

  I like starting a project and then start smoking, so that I'm in it already, so that I just keep going through.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that is.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  What kind of project, though? Give me an example.

• 1:07:03Speaker 00

  I just edit videos.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, it's something you gotta get done, I see.

• 1:07:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, I will say that does help. I will say, if you smoke weed while you're not doing anything, for me, I'll bug out sometimes, and then it's like, I'm just, I'm like, why did I do this? I'm bugging out. But if I have a task, I will still be bugging out, but I'll be so engrossed in the thing, it can have like an energizing effect.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:21Matt McCusker?

  Where I'm like kinda bugging, where I'm like, I gotta get this done, and it just kinda ride out the physical discomfort. But it is one of those things where you smoke weed. I got to the point where I'd be like, why am I high? I don't even enjoy this. I would just be high and like freaking out and thinking about stuff that I would forget instantly and I'd be like, why do I like this? And then you just freak out about that. And it's like, so I do agree.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  Potters are so optimistic too. Like, like, I like.

• 1:07:47Speaker 00

  Until bedtime.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Well, no, they'll say, no, I mean, they're optimistic about pot.

• 1:07:51Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  Like, I'll be like, oh, I hated that. And they're like, you gotta try a different strand. And I was like, alright, and then we'll try a different. I'm from Seattle, so it's been legal my whole life. So they'll be like, alright, try this. And I've had like, after 30 times, I'm like, I think I just don't like this.

• 1:08:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, this is not for me.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  And they're like, but try, if you try, are you sativa? Or is it like, guys, I can't.

• 1:08:10Matt McCusker?

  And all of that's bullshit too. They're so like mixed together now too. And they're like, dude, no, like there's a year more of this. And if you have now, it's like the, uh, they'll be like, well, it probably, terpene probably doesn't. Now like, you need more humaline. It's like, dude, you have no fucking idea.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  When I got a DUI, they were like, maybe try brandy. What was it? Scotch? You were drunk on scotch?

• 1:08:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is one of those things where it's like, I like, I've been smoking weed since I was like 14. I like it, but it's like, as I've gotten older, it's become less and less. And I used to be high all day. Like for years. Oh my dude.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  You were like a rapper?

• 1:08:41Matt McCusker?

  Pretty much. Yeah. I was just high. And I was also selling weed, just stoned all the time. It's kind of, I was a lot like a rapper.

• 1:08:46Speaker 02

  You were in the market, dude.

• 1:08:47Matt McCusker?

  I was a lot like a rapper, but it was, uh, it is weird. I will say there's a point when you smoke weed and you're younger and it's like, before you have like stuff to bug out about as much, you feel like you're on the limitless drug. You're just kind of like, dude, I'm so fucking smart. Then you forget it all though. You go home and you're literally like, what the fuck was I thinking about? But there was like a four year period in my life that I was high all the time selling weed. And I was like, dude, I might be the smartest guy ever.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  Do you like mushrooms?

• 1:09:10Matt McCusker?

  I love mushrooms. Mushrooms, I think are greater than weed. I would say.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  Oh, way better. And also, I feel like that made me smarter. My friends all say to me, like, dude, you came back different. Like it like changed something in there.

• 1:09:21Matt McCusker?

  What did you, what was your mushroom experience? Like, what did you do?

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  Um, so like how much or like where was I setting was?

• 1:09:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the whole thing.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  Okay. So my first time ever, I knew I wanted to do it for a long time. And my boy Randy Valerio was like, he's like king mushroom guy. So he was like, I got you. Like, you know, just tell me when. So we've planned this trip out to like, um, What's the hottest desert in the world that's in California?

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  Uh, the Gobi?

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  No, it's uh, it doesn't really matter. It's like this, yeah, it's like where they film like Star Wars, some of the things. I can't remember. Yeah, Death Valley.

• 1:09:52Speaker 00

  Patchouli.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, Death Valley, sorry. So we go to Death Valley and we waited till nighttime and then we just all took a shit ton of mushrooms. It was just three of us dudes who like trust each other and know each other and it was the most beautiful experience of my life.

• 1:10:02Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  It was absolutely incredible and we took a lot. And then, and then so after that, every couple of months, right? It wasn't like a daily thing. Slowly built up to like four and a half grams is like what we would, that's like the dose we, you know, we only go like full journey. We're not doing like a little.

• 1:10:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:19Matt McCusker?

  Where'd you sleep in the, did you like camp in there?

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  We had a hotel room, but we were.

• 1:10:23Matt McCusker?

  You guys were glamping?

• 1:10:24Speaker 02

  Uh, no, that, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. We went to the woods to do that.

• 1:10:27Matt McCusker?

  I'm a glamping guy.

• 1:10:28Speaker 02

  And then walked across the street to our hotel.

• 1:10:30Matt McCusker?

  I'm a glamping guy myself, dude. I kind of, I enjoy, you know, give me an indoor, you make a yurt.

• 1:10:34Speaker 02

  No one's ever taken me real camping.

• 1:10:35Matt McCusker?

  Me either.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  I wanna go real camping.

• 1:10:37Matt McCusker?

  I've never done it either, honestly. I, I.

• 1:10:39Speaker 00

  So brave it.

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  What's, is it?

• 1:10:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  So brave it?

• 1:10:42Speaker 00

  You gotta sleep in a tent and shit in the ground.

• 1:10:43Matt McCusker?

  I would rather be outside all day and then hit like a yurt.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  But I just wanna do it for a couple of days or something. I, or even just one day.

• 1:10:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  Cause here's the thing, it's like my buddies go, oh, we'll take a camping. And if a girl go, we'll take a camp. And then they take me to some national park where I can see other people like me, you know, setting up their stupid picnic table. I go, what in the, I wanna be like in a movie, like when.

• 1:11:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:03Speaker 02

  You're like, here's where we have to set the tent down.

• 1:11:05Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I agree. I've, I've never gone camping and I, I've like, we were like, put a tent in my backyard and I sleep back there. It doesn't count. But like, I wanna go, but I, I have two daughters, so I'm like waiting to see if either of them wanna go camping.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, that'd be perfect.

• 1:11:17Matt McCusker?

  My wife has no interest in it at all.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:11:19Matt McCusker?

  Zero.

• 1:11:19Speaker 02

  I don't wanna do it for like a month. I don't wanna like, you know, not even a night.

• 1:11:24Speaker 00

  If I could, if I can speak on behalf of your wife, city blacks hate like grass.

• 1:11:29Matt McCusker?

  I know, I know. My wife's, my wife's black from Chicago. She does not wanna camp whatsoever.

• 1:11:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:34Matt McCusker?

  But my daughters. White side of them might whisper.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, might crave it.

• 1:11:41Speaker 02

  And then they'll be like, mom was right. This sucks.

• 1:11:43Matt McCusker?

  Fucking bullshit. Yeah, bare feet on the ground too.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  City blacks, that's a funny, is that a term?

• 1:11:49Speaker 00

  City blacks, country blacks, rural blacks.

• 1:11:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's true, yeah.

• 1:11:53Speaker 00

  I'm gonna mix of a city and a rural black.

• 1:11:55Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:11:55Matt McCusker?

  You are a little country.

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  The perfect blend.

• 1:11:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm a little country.

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  Oh, man, I had to do a pro, I didn't have to, I got to do a project in, um, in Atlanta.

• 1:12:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  And it like changed my perspective on black people. I was like, God did this to keep me from being racist.

• 1:12:11Speaker 00

  Oh, in Atlanta?

• 1:12:12Speaker 02

  All my favorite people in the world.

• 1:12:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, what was the project?

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Uh, it was, uh, like a game show where we would shoot like 10 episodes a day. It was like quite a, quite a grind of work, but it made me there for like, uh, like six weeks.

• 1:12:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  And like I had to live in a hotel. So every day I would see black women that like, you know, southern black women who worked at the front. I'd have, you know, if I was going to eat food at a restaurant, it was just all these like southern Atlanta black people. And I was like, my favorite group of humans. This is the, this is amazing.

• 1:12:43Matt McCusker?

  Took you down.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  I like church city black people.

• 1:12:45Speaker 00

  You know, Atlanta has the highest percentage of black people in eight.

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  Really? How do you know that?

• 1:12:54Speaker 02

  It's a strange stat.

• 1:12:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, cuz I don't know, I don't know why, but.

• 1:12:57Speaker 02

  All those download brothers went to Atlanta.

• 1:12:59Matt McCusker?

  I could guess.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:00Matt McCusker?

  With the what?

• 1:13:01Speaker 00

  You nailed it.

• 1:13:02Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  The downloads on the, in Atlanta. That's where they go.

• 1:13:05Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:13:05Speaker 00

  They go down low.

• 1:13:07Matt McCusker?

  I was just going off, there was a ton of gay black dudes.

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  Oh, well, they're all in Atlanta too.

• 1:13:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's the thing, I'm just going off the Bravo network.

• 1:13:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:15Matt McCusker?

  Bravo network is just gay black guys in Atlanta on every show.

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  Dude, Atlanta rules. This is like best city, dude.

• 1:13:22Matt McCusker?

  Damn, so that's where, that's where homo thugs go to have sex with men on the low, Atlanta?

• 1:13:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:27Matt McCusker?

  Shit, doesn't look good for Tyler Perry.

• 1:13:30Speaker 00

  Tyler Perry.

• 1:13:31Matt McCusker?

  He fucking built, he's bricks and mortar down there, dude.

• 1:13:35Speaker 00

  And you know, in his studio is, every, uh, building is named after other famous black people.

• 1:13:41Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:13:42Speaker 00

  It's probably not looking good for those guys either. There's like a Will Smith studio, Jamie Foxx.

• 1:13:46Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:47Matt McCusker?

  It's like a Diddy party alum. Yeah. When am I gonna get this list? Yeah, they're not gonna give it, man.

• 1:13:54Speaker 02

  Also, there's thing, once the list comes out, no one will care.

• 1:13:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  Did you, they did that Epstein Island list, people were interested in about it for like thirty minutes.

• 1:14:02Matt McCusker?

  Well, Stephen Hawking was a revelation. That was crazy.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  That was a big one.

• 1:14:05Matt McCusker?

  David Copperfield, but then I was just like, dude.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  But nothing happened.

• 1:14:07Speaker 00

  David Copperfield.

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  He did a show last night in Vegas, it changed nothing.

• 1:14:11Matt McCusker?

  I know, that's, that didn't change it. And then the Diddy party stuff, everyone's going, well, I was there, but I left at three AM.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:16Matt McCusker?

  After I leave, that's when everyone.

• 1:14:17Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:14:18Matt McCusker?

  It's like, hey, how do you know? B.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:21Matt McCusker?

  But it's also, dude.

• 1:14:21Speaker 02

  So no one's gonna care.

• 1:14:22Matt McCusker?

  It's also kind of bullshit, in my opinion, to be, like, if you're in the nineties, getting freaky as hell.

• 1:14:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:29Matt McCusker?

  You're getting accused now. It's like, dude, the nineties were genuinely totally different. So it's like, it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, it's like, it sucks, but it's also like.

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  Well, and also people are just inconsistent. The real rule, the, the way, or not rule, but the real way people navigate their minds is, if you like the person, you're fine with it, and if you don't like them, then you're outraged.

• 1:14:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, burn him on a cross.

• 1:14:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. David Bowie, like, admitted in his book to, like, banging thirteen year olds.

• 1:14:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  But it's David Bowie, so they go, that guy rules.

• 1:14:55Matt McCusker?

  Anthony Kiedis is in, in his book, he was like, he had sex with a sixteen or seventeen, but he wrote it, dude, it's like, I feel like when people tell on themselves, you're like, alright, bro.

• 1:15:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, good for you.

• 1:15:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's like, fuck, dude, that's a sick story.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  This guy's owning it.

• 1:15:06Matt McCusker?

  But, he really looks good on you.

• 1:15:08Speaker 02

  He's doing the eight mile, man, he's trying to get ahead of it. Oh, what are you gonna say now?

• 1:15:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:12Speaker 02

  Oh, so I gave Quaaludes to a girl.

• 1:15:14Matt McCusker?

  It also, there's also an aspect, there's an,

• 1:15:18Matt McCusker?

  you think Cosby's bad? Check out my book.

• 1:15:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:21Matt McCusker?

  I think there is an aspect to it, it depends on what you have. Like if you, if you're in command of like, like an important cultural job that other people want, there's more of an uproar around your misdeeds than if you like, don't really have much going on.

• 1:15:34Speaker 02

  That's why the diddy list is so interesting. Because if he was just guilty of being nefarious as like a rock star or thug rapper would be, it would be no story. But black people are still working on the gay shit. You know, every group's got their own things they're working on. So this one is encroaching into a new territory for them.

• 1:15:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Freaky ass bullshit.

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  They're going, oh shit.

• 1:15:58Matt McCusker?

  Freaky ass bullshit. Well, he also like, he was also like, not only that, but apparently according to all like the court stuff, he would like, like imagine if I brought you in here and I was just like, oh dude, this would be a sick podcast. And the whole time during breaks, I was just like goose in you. He was like doing that, but then being like, but then holding like a genuine like, you know, like, I'm gonna give you a million dollars to produce this project. Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. But then the whole time he'd be like, spreading you open, like, let me see that chap little fucking.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  It is weird.

• 1:16:28Matt McCusker?

  He was just, and you're like, that was his real problem. It wasn't even just.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  You know how much oil I have here, Jeff? I can help this.

• 1:16:33Matt McCusker?

  It wasn't even just the gay freaky stuff. It was like, I mean, that is obviously for sure, nobody likes that at all. But it's like, especially talking about like the black community, it's like, you can't, don't fuck around. They don't fuck around about gay stuff at all.

• 1:16:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:44Matt McCusker?

  Then it was like the power of being like, basically holding someone prisoner.

• 1:16:48Speaker 02

  I always think about that. Like, I always like to think that like if my boss of anything I had, I mean, this is, it's hard for me to try to pretend to be someone else. That's why I struggle with it.

• 1:16:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:57Speaker 02

  But it's like, if my boss was like doing things, I'm such an impulsive person that I'd be like, what the fuck? Like, I would just like blow it up. I wouldn't be able to keep a secret to keep a career or job.

• 1:17:08Matt McCusker?

  Then, then I'll enter this into the equation. You're going to the parties. He's like, you're getting blown. He's, he's hooking you up. It's crazy. And then at the end of it, you know, he slipped a little something in your drink and then he just fucking started goose in you. You're like, boy, what the fuck?

• 1:17:20Speaker 02

  That one part was weird, yeah.

• 1:17:21Matt McCusker?

  I like all this other stuff.

• 1:17:23Speaker 02

  Well, I'll just bottle that up for later when I fucking kill my wife at age 55.

• 1:17:29Speaker 00

  I'm loved, Jeff. You gotta like this.

• 1:17:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. It's uh, it's, it's kinda going away now though. I feel like people don't really, they use, I think it might have been a kind of heightened during the election, cause it was kind of like shame on the libs.

• 1:17:41Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:17:42Matt McCusker?

  That was lib shame. Epstein, Epstein was like a little, everyone was calling that, but the Diddy stuff was kinda like shame on the libs.

• 1:17:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:48Matt McCusker?

  Oh yeah, it does suck. You don't get, there's no closure on it. It's just kinda like, yeah, the guy was raping kids and uh, anyway, back to work everybody and you're like-

• 1:17:55Speaker 02

  It's crazy, like the, what people care about, or pretend to care about. Because of the Diddy list too, they'll just go, yeah, he was at a party. You can't prove he did anything. It's like Chris Tucker went to Epstein Island.

• 1:18:06Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 1:18:06Speaker 02

  Like a few, like three times. And he's like, I played golf. I didn't even know they were doing that there. You know, but I mean, maybe he's telling the truth, maybe he's not, but it's like, you'll always have that out. Like, I just went there, cause they're rich guys.

• 1:18:16Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 1:18:17Speaker 02

  So like, who wouldn't have wanted to go to a P Diddy party before you knew what a P Diddy party was doing?

• 1:18:22Matt McCusker?

  Everyone would have went. Every single person who's being like fucking weird bullshit, if they had gotten invited in 1997, it would have been like-

• 1:18:28Speaker 02

  Cause I only learned, he knows the consequences, yeah.

• 1:18:32Matt McCusker?

  Maybe yo, maybe start throw, keep it alive. Keep tradition alive.

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  It's like when I go to parties now and I'm like, I don't drink. Like, you're just like, oh no, I'm not doing the raping thing. Yeah, yeah. You guys have fun though. I'm just happy to be here. Got a pick with J Lo.

• 1:18:44Matt McCusker?

  Hal's not drinking, Ben.

• 1:18:45Speaker 02

  It's been great.

• 1:18:46Matt McCusker?

  Are you off, you're off the sauce totally?

• 1:18:48Speaker 02

  Totally sober. Yeah, I feel great. It's been amazing.

• 1:18:51Matt McCusker?

  And it's really, it's one of those things that is like everywhere, but once you don't do it, you're like, it's just, it's, it's great for you. Everyone else has a problem. They go like, what the fuck is your problem?

• 1:19:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like, cause it was such a big part of my lifestyle, that like, there's some disappointment, but then also like my buddies have been kinda supportive of like, dude, you're way more fun to be around. Like, you don't just ditch us for a chick at like 10pm or like-

• 1:19:11Matt McCusker?

  Get hammered, yeah.

• 1:19:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, like we're having actual conversations and cigars and, you know, we're connecting in ways that we didn't used to. Um, so it's been mostly positive. It occasionally rears its head.

• 1:19:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:21Speaker 02

  Like, I thi, I think I've dodged a real, last night I did Kill Tony. And afterwards, everyone hangs out at the bar called Mitzi's. And there was like this girl who might have been one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. But she was just so intoxicated that like I left. She terrified me, just her being near me was so scary. And if, but if I was old Jeff, we would have definitely been.

• 1:19:43Matt McCusker?

  Well, you'd have been so hammered that, yeah, you would have gotten drunk and been like, that's a, that is such a tricky one, man. They're like drunk women were like boons back in the day. What a glorious bounty. Why does the universe provide it? Now you're like, yeah, it's like, dude, get the fuck away from me.

• 1:19:56Speaker 02

  I wanted nothing to do with it. She kept grabbing my face. I was like, hey, don't fucking touch me. Yeah, but I would normally, yes, I, you, but like you're so drunk.

• 1:20:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  That's the bad part about being a guy too, in modern times, at least in America. It's like, not only if I'm drunk, do I have to be responsible for drunk Jeff's behavior? And it will be held accountable in a court of law, but I have to also be responsible for her drunkenness.

• 1:20:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  It's like I have to be responsible for both of us.

• 1:20:19Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's, someone's gotta do it.

• 1:20:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:22Matt McCusker?

  That's how I look at it. It's like, yeah, dude, you shouldn't be that drunk.

• 1:20:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:20:26Matt McCusker?

  Especially if you're a girl, it's like, yeah, you should just, you should in theory just be like, let me get you home, you lady. You seem pretty needy. A lot of bad guys out here.

• 1:20:33Speaker 02

  It's tough to be responsible for both of us when I'm hammered.

• 1:20:35Matt McCusker?

  It is bullshit. That's the thing. Somebody's gotta pull their pants up.

• 1:20:38Speaker 02

  So last night I had to be responsible for her. Like I was like, hey, we can't, I'm not gonna even touch you.

• 1:20:43Matt McCusker?

  That's the thing. As every gentleman.

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  If I was drunk Jeff, I'd have, we'd have fucked in the bathroom, like add.

• 1:20:47Matt McCusker?

  That's why it's a sin to be that drunk.

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:20:49Matt McCusker?

  You should be punished for that.

• 1:20:50Speaker 00

  Somebody else took you, dude.

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  This all took a real turn here.

• 1:20:53Matt McCusker?

  You should. As, you shouldn't get that drunk. It's, it's unbecoming of anyone. But as a woman, it's like, it's understandable. As a guy, it's like, yeah, it's completely ridiculous to be that drunk.

• 1:21:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:21:03Matt McCusker?

  But no, it is crazy to be like, we're both, we're both blacked out and I go to jail.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  Right. It's crazy.

• 1:21:08Matt McCusker?

  It is bullshit.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  That is the rules.

• 1:21:09Matt McCusker?

  But I'm just trying to take dudes to the next level right now.

• 1:21:12Speaker 02

  It's beautiful.

• 1:21:12Matt McCusker?

  You shouldn't be that, you, like, no one should be that drunk.

• 1:21:14Speaker 02

  With this headset and this, it does feel like a church. It does, like, the earlier analogy is perfect, you know, like, it is, that's why it's a sin to be that drunk, Jeff.

• 1:21:23Matt McCusker?

  It's an absolute sin. You shouldn't be that drunk, you know, or you should, you should always be, have your wits, you know, with, that's where coffee came, uh, that's like coffee caught on in America, cause it was like a total counterpoint to alcohol.

• 1:21:34Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:21:35Matt McCusker?

  Cause alcohol was so prevalent in everyday, everyday life where like the water quality wasn't great. So you would just chug like a pint of ale and go hit the farm.

• 1:21:42Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:21:43Matt McCusker?

  And then people started being like, dude, alcohol is bullshit. And they started drinking, like, people didn't know the numbers on coffee, so they'd have like nine cups of coffee a day. And just coffee shops were.

• 1:21:51Speaker 02

  Europe must be pissed about that espresso martini.

• 1:21:55Speaker 02

  They're like, these fucking idiots are supposed to be for the-

• 1:21:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude. Well, no, even in America, you would like, coffee shops and four computers, you would drink like 12 espressos and just stand there and be like, "I'm from Michigan, I'm in the lumber company," and you would network with other, like, just jacked up entrepreneurs.

• 1:22:10Speaker 02

  That's why I shit so fast, dude. I'm having like 10 coffees a day.

• 1:22:13Matt McCusker?

  That'll get you, yeah.

• 1:22:14Speaker 02

  I've already had two coffees this morning before I got here.

• 1:22:16Matt McCusker?

  Did you really?

• 1:22:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:16Matt McCusker?

  There's my, I'm gonna hit, fuck you up, I'm off caffeine.

• 1:22:19Speaker 02

  Off of that?

• 1:22:19Matt McCusker?

  Totally off a ca- I'm, I have like-

• 1:22:21Speaker 02

  I think that's harder to get rid of than alcohol.

• 1:22:23Matt McCusker?

  I would say a thousand percent.

• 1:22:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:25Matt McCusker?

  I would much rather get crushed coffee early in the morning than drink any day of the week. I fucking love caffeine.

• 1:22:32Speaker 02

  And it's habitual.

• 1:22:33Matt McCusker?

  I'm sensitive to it.

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  I wouldn't even know what to do with my day if I didn't have coffee.

• 1:22:38Matt McCusker?

  Well, let me tell you about raw milk.

• 1:22:38Speaker 02

  Cause I like the whole process.

• 1:22:40Matt McCusker?

  Here's, so do I. I drink decaf, so I'll drink totally decaf coffee. I started drinking raw milk recently.

• 1:22:46Speaker 02

  Real milk?

• 1:22:47Matt McCusker?

  Raw milk.

• 1:22:48Speaker 02

  What is raw milk?

• 1:22:49Matt McCusker?

  Raw milk is when they don't pasteurize it, you don't do, you don't-

• 1:22:52Speaker 02

  How do you get that?

• 1:22:53Matt McCusker?

  Get it from a farmer.

• 1:22:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:22:54Matt McCusker?

  You gotta sign up in Texas.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  I don't have any fucking farmer.

• 1:22:56Matt McCusker?

  In Texas, Google, brother. In Texas, you just Google, you know, we have a farmer's market, but you have to order it a week before, cause they don't like, you can't buy it on the spot. Dude, I'm not lying, I, I know, I don't care about raw milk, I never cared, I was like, let me just try it, cause I was curious, I heard it helps with like dairy intolerance.

• 1:23:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:12Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I've been, I started drinking this four days ago. I, I feel amazing.

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:23:17Matt McCusker?

  And I looked it up, cause I was like, what the fuck's in this shit?

• 1:23:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:20Matt McCusker?

  All the vitamins, it's a complete food, all the vitamins and minerals, they have, I think, every, like, if you took a vitamin, raw milk has every single thing in that vitamin, they have, you know, vitamin A, Bs, blah, blah, blah.

• 1:23:30Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:23:30Matt McCusker?

  There's a couple they don't have a lot of, and every mineral, and it's all wildly bioavailable.

• 1:23:35Speaker 02

  How you drinking this shit? Like, just straight out of a glass?

• 1:23:37Matt McCusker?

  Straight out of a glass.

• 1:23:37Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:23:38Matt McCusker?

  I make decaf coffee and I pour a ton of raw milk in there, and dude, I swear to god.

• 1:23:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:42Matt McCusker?

  I'm not making this up, I, you know, whatever, if, I feel amazing.

• 1:23:46Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:23:47Matt McCusker?

  I'm sleeping better, it's insane. Apparently has like hormone effects, it does all kinds of shit.

• 1:23:52Speaker 02

  That is the next part. I got, I shook the booze thing, which I feel great about, I'm very proud of it, it's been a year and two weeks, but the, uh, the thing with, I'm eating trash, dude.

• 1:24:01Matt McCusker?

  Eating bad.

• 1:24:02Speaker 02

  I've been eating bad for a long time.

• 1:24:04Matt McCusker?

  It's tough, you're tra- you're traveling a lot, I'm guessing.

• 1:24:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, McDonald's is available, you know?

• 1:24:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:09Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:24:10Matt McCusker?

  Dude, when I know what I do. You know what I do?

• 1:24:12Speaker 02

  No, I don't got the app.

• 1:24:13Speaker 00

  You know how to collect the points, dude?

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 1:24:15Matt McCusker?

  You know what I do though? I go, when I go away for the weekend, I'll go food shopping, get a rotisserie chicken.

• 1:24:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:21Matt McCusker?

  And some fruit.

• 1:24:22Speaker 02

  But I don't even do that at my own home, let alone if I was on the road.

• 1:24:27Matt McCusker?

  But no, I'm telling you dude, get on the raw milk train dude.

• 1:24:29Speaker 02

  Alright, yeah, I'll check it out.

• 1:24:31Matt McCusker?

  You could probably get in LA, there's, there's a lot of that.

• 1:24:32Speaker 02

  For sure, dude.

• 1:24:33Matt McCusker?

  I swear, I'm not, I want someone else to drink this shit, cause it's like, I can't believe how.

• 1:24:38Speaker 02

  It's a superfood.

• 1:24:39Matt McCusker?

  It is dude. It is, although it is tied to, we talked about this on the Patreon thing, it's tied to neo Nazis, so you can't like, apparently milk has like connections to like white supremacy. Due to like the legend that like the ancient Aryans were the only people who could digest dairy.

• 1:24:53Speaker 02

  Just making it sound cooler, dude.

• 1:24:54Matt McCusker?

  It kind of, it kind of, my friend was like, you gotta be careful, they're all milk, it's like Nazi stuff, and I was like, how? And explain it to me, I'm like, fuck dude, that sounds so fucking cool.

• 1:25:03Speaker 02

  But also it's ridiculous.

• 1:25:04Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy.

• 1:25:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, they also drank water, oh god, I don't wanna drink water, cause they.

• 1:25:09Matt McCusker?

  Well, there's been articles written about, is milk racist? And they're saying like, cause apparently anyone, white people can tolerate dairy as a group combined better than any other group. And they say that that's what the Aryans did.

• 1:25:20Speaker 02

  It's pretty easy to make those statistics when you just lump it as white.

• 1:25:23Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:25:24Speaker 02

  How many countries are white?

• 1:25:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but I think like all of them can have milk. I think if you're not, like, I think if you're not, like, true, like Eastern Europe maybe, like, get like the bubble guts for milk.

• 1:25:35Speaker 02

  Jews, Jews are pretty white, they can't, they can't have anything.

• 1:25:38Speaker 00

  The Jews.

• 1:25:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:40Matt McCusker?

  Not even a country.

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  So it's like, the white is so vague.

• 1:25:47Matt McCusker?

  But I think, yeah, I think it's again, it's like one of those things, like, as a group, it was like, I think black people get crushed with lactose intolerance. And you guys crush the dairy too.

• 1:25:55Speaker 00

  My guts hurt right now.

• 1:25:57Speaker 02

  That a boy.

• 1:25:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah dude, I'm.

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  Doing it for his country though.

• 1:25:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and Asian people can't fuck with dairy either.

• 1:26:01Speaker 02

  Really? I didn't know that about them.

• 1:26:02Matt McCusker?

  That's, I didn't know any of this.

• 1:26:03Speaker 00

  Alright, but what about Indian guys? They love creamy things.

• 1:26:07Matt McCusker?

  They do like creamy things.

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  And spicy things, those guys.

• 1:26:09Matt McCusker?

  Coconut milk, they use a lot of coconut milk.

• 1:26:10Speaker 02

  Strong guts over there.

• 1:26:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, true. Uh, well, they use coconut milk and like yogurt, a lot of their stuff's yogurt based, which probably lessens the sting. I'm dude, I'm crushing like, in the morning, eight ounces of whole milk.

• 1:26:21Speaker 02

  And you enjoy it, it wasn't, it's not like you're trying to get through it to, for the superfood.

• 1:26:25Matt McCusker?

  Love it dude. I, the day I drank it, I, again, I'm like, I have no ties to any sort of milk, any sort of milk company. I had like, I was taking Zyrtec, so I, you know when you take allergy medicine, you're kinda like, oh, like I had like, heavy brain fog. I, I wasn't planning on this, I crushed, as soon as I got back from the farmer's market, I was like, yes, I poured up a huge glass of milk, crushed it and dude, within like 10 minutes, I was like, what the fuck? I felt like my brain just like kicked on. It was nuts.

• 1:26:50Speaker 02

  I'm definitely trying it.

• 1:26:51Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I'm telling you.

• 1:26:52Speaker 02

  I live in a city that'll be the easiest to find.

• 1:26:54Matt McCusker?

  For sure. If you just Google raw milk.

• 1:26:56Speaker 02

  Right, they'll bring it right to my door.

• 1:26:57Matt McCusker?

  They probably will.

• 1:26:58Speaker 02

  In 15 minutes. He's gone a week before, not in LA.

• 1:27:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's on Google right now.

• 1:27:03Speaker 02

  They got some bullshit for sure, yeah.

• 1:27:04Matt McCusker?

  Texas, it is bullshit, I guess the wait a week, they don't want them like, kind of like letting it sit around for too long, so they want you like fresh to order, whatever, but, my thing is, it's, it's a, you know, there's always like a thing, like you can get sick, you, like, with our technology now, they have to be able to test a batch of raw milk, like, does this have tuberculosis and all these other things, you can just test it and like, no, it's fine. Cause they're like, you could get really sick, it's like,

• 1:27:27Speaker 02

  Who said that?

• 1:27:28Matt McCusker?

  Like internet, they're like, oh, you can also get this and that, and it's like, dude, I'm just gonna chug this shit, but.

• 1:27:33Speaker 02

  If it's more natural, that should be better.

• 1:27:36Matt McCusker?

  You would say, but it's, I get it, like, if it's, you know, when you're milking a cow, like, you know, a cow can just take a shit, they're not like, gonna be like, excuse me, sir, they'll just rip a dump.

• 1:27:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:27:44Matt McCusker?

  The worry is if it fucking gets into the,

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  Those calves are so strong, you know, I wanna be as strong as a calf.

• 1:27:50Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, exactly, dude, it's like breast milk, dude, you feel fucking, I, I mean, I'll stop talking about it, but Jesus Christ, it's been a revel, it's been a revelation for me, dude.

• 1:27:58Speaker 02

  I like it. I'll try, I'll be in, dude, you're gonna get a text from me like in a week, like I tried it, dude, my brain's on.

• 1:28:02Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna be firing, dude.

• 1:28:04Speaker 02

  I'm excited.

• 1:28:05Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna be firing.

• 1:28:05Speaker 02

  I mean, like, I'm gonna be pissed, I'll be like, this shit's not working, I got like a thick milk mustard, I'm gonna sit on the couch going, ah, I've been fooled again.

• 1:28:13Matt McCusker?

  You're just farting nonstop.

• 1:28:15Speaker 02

  He told me Nazis did this, that's a, is all part of his, get Jeff to do it thing.

• 1:28:22Matt McCusker?

  Now, you're gonna, I'm telling you, man, I, I, I'm trying to make every, like, I'm trying to make everyone in my house drink it and everyone's like, uh, not feeling it, but.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  Cause it is tough to drink, like, immediately my brain went to, can I put chocolate syrup in it?

• 1:28:33Matt McCusker?

  You could if you wanted.

• 1:28:34Speaker 02

  Or like if I steam it, does that take some of the?

• 1:28:37Matt McCusker?

  No, it depasses, so if you, like, you have to steam it for, there's a certain temp, and then, uh, I think you'd have to do it for a certain period of time, but I forget what it is. But I, I was, I was worried, like, if I dump it into hot coffee, does it like?

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  Would that change it, yeah?

• 1:28:50Matt McCusker?

  Totally fine.

• 1:28:50Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:28:51Matt McCusker?

  It's gotta hit like 150, I think.

• 1:28:53Speaker 00

  To curdle?

• 1:28:54Matt McCusker?

  Uh, not to curdle, but to like, just crush the enzymes.

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  Like, I used to crush, like, eggnog, and people were like, that's disgusting, and I was like, yeah, but it's so good.

• 1:28:59Speaker 00

  Eggnog rules, dude.

• 1:29:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's just so flavor-y, and that's the thing, is like, if I could make it taste like eggnog, I would crush, you know, real milk all day.

• 1:29:08Matt McCusker?

  Dude, put it in a smoothie, you can put it in a smoothie, I'm about to make a raw milk smoothie when we get home, but it's like.

• 1:29:11Speaker 02

  Now we're talking.

• 1:29:12Matt McCusker?

  But you only have like five days, so I'm gonna charge up and then I'm gonna have to go off the juice for a little bit, so.

• 1:29:17Speaker 02

  You're, you're in Rogue Towns going, yeah, you guys got real milk, kinda.

• 1:29:21Matt McCusker?

  Sipping from the other. Oh, yeah, I, I like, I didn't know dairy was like such a big thing, where like, most people are allergic to it now, cause the way they do it now, apparently like, nobody can really stomach it.

• 1:29:30Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:29:31Matt McCusker?

  Cause, yeah, they, they like destroy, it destroys everything, it's like breast milk, how breast milk is really good for you, but if you just fucking like boiled it in a microwave, you've destroyed, like, literally like an elixir.

• 1:29:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:41Matt McCusker?

  So.

• 1:29:42Speaker 02

  That is the new hunting, trying to find things that are good for you.

• 1:29:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:45Speaker 02

  You know, our ancestors had to be like, go shoot an animal and skin it and the whatever, and keep it cold and then cook it. Now, our hunting is going to the grocery store and finding anything that's good for you.

• 1:29:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:55Speaker 02

  Literally, you could go to Whole Foods, doesn't matter, half that's trash.

• 1:29:58Matt McCusker?

  Dude, 90, 90, if you go to, say you go to like a convenience store, 99% of the stuff in there is terrible for you.

• 1:30:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, it's all garbage, we're eating garbage.

• 1:30:05Matt McCusker?

  Even Whole Foods, yeah, a lot of it's just like shit and seed oils. At, at the grocery store, if you stay, the, the thing is, if you stay on the outer aisles, it's like produce and then meat, and it's kinda dull.

• 1:30:14Speaker 02

  But even that produce, they found a way to like inject it and do all this shit?

• 1:30:17Speaker 00

  Fucking big as shit, these apples.

• 1:30:19Speaker 02

  I don't know, or you'll go to like a real health place where they're like, everything in here is good for you, and the carrot's like 20 dollars, you're like, what the fuck is this?

• 1:30:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the new hunting.

• 1:30:27Matt McCusker?

  It is, well, here's the thing too, when, when people like the food, like, say like, organic produce is too expensive. Of it's like dude, you'll die if you don't have it.

• 1:30:34Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 1:30:34Matt McCusker?

  It should take up, you know, it should be, I, I, it does suck, but it's also like, like even before, like, you know, I did well, I would always spend way more money on food than anything. People spend money on fucking bullshit. It's like dude, food.

• 1:30:45Speaker 02

  Do you think they're gonna murder us after this podcast for like talking about the food industry like that?

• 1:30:50Matt McCusker?

  Dude, yeah, I think the jig's up, dude. I think, uh, hopefully someone cracks down on them.

• 1:30:54Speaker 00

  They have the, they have the new chair lady. You ever see her, uh, F Lina something? She's been cracking down on it. She's been getting crazy.

• 1:31:00Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:31:00Speaker 00

  She was like, there was like a, maybe like a couple of weeks ago.

• 1:31:02Matt McCusker?

  FDA?

• 1:31:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. She was like, there's like a.

• 1:31:04Matt McCusker?

  They kinda, they kinda shit the bed pretty hard.

• 1:31:06Speaker 00

  No, dude. She's, she was like, there was a presentation of them with like, it was like, here's the European version of.

• 1:31:12Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I saw that, yeah.

• 1:31:14Speaker 00

  Here's the American version.

• 1:31:15Matt McCusker?

  Oh, right, right, right.

• 1:31:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's doing that with like all the.

• 1:31:18Speaker 02

  Remember, Michelle Obama's original thing was like food.

• 1:31:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:22Speaker 02

  She was like, I'm gonna make it healthy and all these young kids, but we gotta do something about it. And it's like someone took her in her back room and was like, listen bitch, you know how much money we fucking get? And then she was like, uh, maybe just go outside and run a little bit. Maybe just run outside, uh, maybe it's about fitness, 10 minutes a day. You're like, what happened to the food part you were talking about?

• 1:31:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't think they, nothing happened with that, really. Yeah.

• 1:31:44Speaker 02

  She changed. She immediately turned it into like a fitness, uh, thing as opposed to a food thing.

• 1:31:49Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:31:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, immediately.

• 1:31:50Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, they've, they have somehow psyop dudes to be like, it's like pussy shit to worry about food. Cause every dude I know, I'm like, yeah, but like, what's in that? They're like, I don't give a fuck. I'll eat this right now. It's like, dude, you're gonna die.

• 1:32:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:02Matt McCusker?

  You're going to die. What did?

• 1:32:04Speaker 02

  They're eating the cardboard that it came in. You're like, no dude, like, I'm a real man.

• 1:32:08Matt McCusker?

  My whole family's like that. My, all my dads and uncles are like, what are you, a fucking girl? I don't give a shit. I'll eat like 40 cheese steaks and it's just like, dude, you're going to fucking die. I don't know why, it's like crazy to worry about.

• 1:32:18Speaker 02

  I'm trying to ask my own self, why is that cool?

• 1:32:20Matt McCusker?

  It's a psyop.

• 1:32:22Speaker 00

  I don't think it's a psyop, it's just that masculinity is not caring if you die.

• 1:32:26Speaker 02

  It's lazy.

• 1:32:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's fair. But also like, what about, what about peak performance? What about the Da Vinci Man? What about going peak performance, taking yourself to the highest level?

• 1:32:35Speaker 00

  That guy had like five brews before he took that pic. That painting.

• 1:32:40Speaker 02

  It is like, kinda like, what it, what makes it cool to be a man, you know?

• 1:32:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:44Speaker 02

  Like, uh...

• 1:32:44Matt McCusker?

  Just to like, dilapidate yourself?

• 1:32:46Speaker 02

  Some people think a man has got like, a big beard and he doesn't give a shit and he'll, he's got an axe, you know? And then some people think like, James Bond is cool.

• 1:32:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:55Speaker 02

  But James Bond is like, wearing this fucking three-piece suit and he's drinking fine vodka, you know?

• 1:33:00Matt McCusker?

  That's true, yeah.

• 1:33:01Speaker 02

  So it's kinda like-

• 1:33:02Matt McCusker?

  But he's killing people, so that's the thing. If you kill people, you can dress kinda gay.

• 1:33:05Speaker 02

  But he's gotta eat right, you know, like, the, the-

• 1:33:07Matt McCusker?

  True, that's true.

• 1:33:08Speaker 02

  You've got Bond going, "Well, you guys don't drink real milk?" And they go, "What a fucking faggot over there, shut up." So it's like, kinda, they're both men, but like, you gotta decide which man-

• 1:33:17Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:33:17Speaker 02

  You know, you wanna be.

• 1:33:18Matt McCusker?

  It's a fair point. It is, yeah, it's, uh, I feel like most people though, it's like, if you, if you even bring up, like, yeah, there's a lot of times in private conversation, like, you know, what, uh, what, uh, what is that, some of the stuff? But, like, you get a bunch of dudes together, like, "I don't give a shit about that." There's something, like, when girls go out, they go like, pamper themselves. When dudes get together, they just try to like, destroy, try to destroy themselves.

• 1:33:37Speaker 02

  It's kinda funny, yeah.

• 1:33:37Matt McCusker?

  It's kinda sick.

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  Well, maybe it's a test, actually, I think I know the answer to it, but go ahead.

• 1:33:41Speaker 00

  I was gonna say, all my friends, they always like, go for like, the easiest option. It's like, "Bro, there's better options. Don't just pick the first one, cause it's easy."

• 1:33:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, 100%.

• 1:33:52Matt McCusker?

  That's true.

• 1:33:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, uh, lazy.

• 1:33:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, people are, people are dumb and lazy, they're right about that.

• 1:33:57Speaker 02

  I think that the reason

• 1:34:00Speaker 02

  men would do that to each other, is it is a test of toughness. It's a test of like, can we, you know, oh, you care about that, like, we're, we're tough, you know, we're tough, and that's, that's healthy. Cause men have always had to be tough.

• 1:34:14Matt McCusker?

  That's true, but it's like, my thing is like, why, cause I've done that, like, "I don't give a fuck, I'll eat that." Then I just have like, a quiet tummy ache, and I'm like, "I don't want this tummy ache right now."

• 1:34:23Speaker 02

  But the inner caveman in you back in the day had to like, not care about how cold it is, cause he had to kill a wolf.

• 1:34:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:29Speaker 02

  You know, so like, there was, there's this idea of like, not caring about your well-being to be a fucking man, you know?

• 1:34:38Matt McCusker?

  But I, it's, I, I, I, every now and then I'll get-

• 1:34:40Speaker 02

  It's still in there.

• 1:34:40Matt McCusker?

  I'll be real good, I'll be doing well eating, I feel great, and then I'll be like, "I can relax," and I'll just get the biggest tummy ache, and be like, "Why do I do this to myself, dude?"

• 1:34:48Speaker 02

  There's nothing less masculine than having a tummy ache.

• 1:34:51Matt McCusker?

  It sucks, dude, it sucks. Just laying in a hotel room, burping by myself, like-

• 1:34:56Speaker 02

  But my tummy!

• 1:34:57Matt McCusker?

  "What the fuck did I eat that, fuck?" I gotta tighten up.

• 1:35:00Speaker 02

  I've never had fish and chips at like a pub and not had a stomach ache.

• 1:35:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's every time.

• 1:35:05Speaker 02

  And I've like, I go, I'm never ordering this again. I fucking forget like six months later.

• 1:35:10Matt McCusker?

  Every time, you're like, fuck dude.

• 1:35:12Speaker 02

  It was so good and I'm hurting.

• 1:35:14Matt McCusker?

  Every fucking time. Well, I think we covered a lot of topics here. I think we got to the bottom of a lot of things.

• 1:35:19Speaker 02

  Think so too, man.

• 1:35:20Matt McCusker?

  Jeff Dye, thank you for coming, Lemaire.

• 1:35:21Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:35:22Matt McCusker?

  Dude, thanks for coming on, man. Thanks for, thanks for withstanding this format. What did you think of standing?

• 1:35:26Speaker 02

  I prefer it.

• 1:35:26Matt McCusker?

  It's kinda nice, right?

• 1:35:27Speaker 02

  It's the future.

• 1:35:28Matt McCusker?

  I think it's absolutely the future. Podcasting now, dude, after this election.

• 1:35:31Speaker 02

  Who made them?

• 1:35:32Matt McCusker?

  Uh, some guy on Amazon.

• 1:35:34Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:35:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Chinese guy.

• 1:35:35Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:35:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, also too. I don't know if I have even have the remote on me. I didn't even show you this feature, but yeah, dude, these things go fucking nuts, bro. Let me see.

• 1:35:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, nuts. Oh, there we go. No, he wasn't lying. This is sweet. You should get some pyro in there. It'd be amazing. And if it goes bad, it'll just be funnier.

• 1:35:56Matt McCusker?

  Hilarious.

• 1:35:57Speaker 02

  Like if the pyro screws up.

• 1:35:59Matt McCusker?

  We could get some baby pyro, probably. No, probably not.

• 1:36:02Speaker 02

  It'd be amazing. Just the smoke is collecting in here is not even that grand deal.

• 1:36:07Matt McCusker?

  True. Well, dudes, thank you so much.

• 1:36:09Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me, brother.

• 1:36:09Matt McCusker?

  Dude, appreciate it. Lemaire, thank you, brother. You guys have anything you wanna plug, by the way?

• 1:36:13Speaker 00

  Oh, yes.

• 1:36:14Speaker 02

  Go for it.

• 1:36:15Speaker 00

  Please.

• 1:36:15Speaker 02

  Go for it.

• 1:36:16Speaker 00

  December 20th and 21st, I'm gonna be at Raleigh. Good nights, please come. And then January 15th at the Philly Hill, please go to that too.

• 1:36:22Matt McCusker?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:36:23Speaker 02

  Great club. Yeah, you can go to jeffdye.com or follow me on my socia's and all my live dates are there.

• 1:36:29Matt McCusker?

  Right on. Love you guys.