John Leguizamo | Club Random with Bill Maher

In the latest Club Random, Bill Maher goes toe-to-toe with actor-activist John Leguizamo in a rapid-fire conversation that jumps from the Knicks firing Tom Thibodeau to the eternal New York vs. L. A. debate. They dive into Latino representation in Hollywood and Leguizamo’s MSNBC docuseries "Leguizamo Does America," while trading war stories about award-show politics, micro-dosing, roach-infested apartments, the grind of memorizing lines, and the not-so-glamorous reality of scrubbing improv-theater toilets just to get stage time. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our Advertisers: -Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/random #rulapod #ad -Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/random Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: [email protected] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:28Speaker 01

  It's getting chilly outside. But you know what that means?

• 0:35Speaker 01

  It's time to cozy up with Panera Bread. Let's get toasty, cheesy. Oh, hello, broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl. How about melty? Okay, Chipotle Chicken Ovo Melt. It's dipping bread and soupy goodness season. Oh yeah, we are so back. It's Panera season. Order now.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  Para los grandes, para los chicos, para los bajos y los altos, los pacifistas, los valientes. Para los optimistas y los pesimistas, los que valoran lo de adentro. Para los que están lejos, los que no vende lejos, y los que no vende cerca. Para los introvertidos y los extrovertidos. Para los que piensan y los que hacen. Para los que nos mostraron el camino. Coca-Cola, para todos. Compra una Coca-Cola en una tienda cerca de usted.

• 1:28Bill Maher?

  How do you do it?

• 1:29Speaker 04

  Dude, it's not easy anymore.

• 1:30Bill Maher?

  It's so shitty.

• 1:30Speaker 04

  I used to have a photographic memory.

• 1:33Bill Maher?

  It's really?

• 1:33Speaker 04

  Now there's a lens cap over it. I don't know.

• 1:38Speaker 04

  The hottest women in the whole country.

• 1:41Bill Maher?

  Yes, none would talk to you, but they were the hottest.

• 1:49Bill Maher?

  Johnny boy here? Hi.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  I can't see you, but...

• 1:54Bill Maher?

  Remember Arsenio?

• 1:57Bill Maher?

  Did you ever do that show?

• 1:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, I did a couple of times. I loved it.

• 2:01Bill Maher?

  How are you, bro?

• 2:02Speaker 04

  How you doing, man? I know your hand.

• 2:03Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  I didn't want to mess your hand up, so...

• 2:06Bill Maher?

  That's right. It's already messed up. How you doing? Welcome to the left coast.

• 2:09Speaker 04

  Left coast is awesome, man.

• 2:11Bill Maher?

  You like it here?

• 2:12Speaker 04

  I do like it. I won't live here, but I love it here. I love visiting and getting the fuck out.

• 2:17Bill Maher?

  That's how I feel about New York.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  No.

• 2:19Bill Maher?

  Why? Do I have to love New York to be a-

• 2:21Speaker 04

  I think you gotta kinda love New York, cause New York, come on, it's the, it's the cradle of civilization.

• 2:27Bill Maher?

  It's certainly not the cradle of civilization.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  It is the cradle of civilization.

• 2:31Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  In America, in America. And the world, in the world right now.

• 2:34Bill Maher?

  America isn't all of civilization. We do know what the cradles of civilization are.

• 2:39Speaker 04

  Were, were. I mean, they're no longer.

• 2:41Bill Maher?

  That's, that's so chauvinistic. I mean, you know, you can love your city.

• 2:45Speaker 04

  You know your kids, look at my shirt. You, you know.

• 2:48Bill Maher?

  I get it. I know. I live there twice. I'm from the area. My father commuted from New Jersey into New York every day.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  Oh, you're from Jersey. Oh, that's not the same. That's not the same. Come on.

• 2:59Bill Maher?

  It's not, okay, it's not the same. You're right. And I think better, because I like living in the suburbs. I don't like living in a building. I had all the advantages of New York. By the way, never have given up on the New York teams. Still root for the Knicks.

• 3:12Speaker 04

  Can you believe this Knicks situation? You fire the coach before you even hire the coach?

• 3:18Bill Maher?

  I'm so glad they fired him. I think he was-

• 3:21Speaker 04

  I think, I think, I agree with you.

• 3:22Bill Maher?

  I don't like him. Because he played, he, first of all, he played, he did not give them enough rest.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  No, no, he wore them out. He broke them. He broke them.

• 3:32Bill Maher?

  He learned to have a larger rotation during the playoffs.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. In, in game four, he started-

• 3:39Bill Maher?

  Oh, I'm so glad you agree with me on this.

• 3:41Speaker 04

  He started to rotate and put the bench in, but it's too late?

• 3:44Bill Maher?

  And it worked. You don't learn these things-

• 3:46Speaker 04

  But it was also too late, cause these guys hadn't warmed up all season, hadn't gelled with the team, and they came in like maniacs.

• 3:51Bill Maher?

  And they still played well. And it just showed. He should have been doing that all year long. You can't wear these guys out like that.

• 3:57Speaker 04

  You can't play people like that.

• 3:59Bill Maher?

  Even if they could do it physically, which we saw the year before, they broke down physically, mentally, you get to the-

• 4:05Speaker 04

  You can't sustain. You can't sustain.

• 4:07Bill Maher?

  You can't. No one can. He's a, he's like a nicer Bobby Knight, that guy.

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. He's a tough dude. But, but I think-

• 4:14Bill Maher?

  I'm so glad they got rid of him.

• 4:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they didn't do it right, though. I mean, you gotta hire your coach first, and then you let him go.

• 4:20Bill Maher?

  Well, there's, they'll get it. You know who? I bet you Jason Kidd will do it. I think they can, I think they can get away, I don't know.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  How are they gonna take him away from a winning team like that? I mean, I know they got more money. I know Jim Don will go into his pockets.

• 4:33Bill Maher?

  Because it's New York, John. It's the cradle of civilization.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  He agrees with me.

• 4:38Bill Maher?

  I don't.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  You got it on camera.

• 4:40Bill Maher?

  I'm just mocking you. It's not the cradle of civilization. I could name the cradles of civilization. There's four of them.

• 4:47Speaker 04

  But contemporary, contemporary wise.

• 4:50Bill Maher?

  Contemporary, well.

• 4:51Speaker 04

  I mean, where was the birth of hip hop? The birth of punk was New York City. The, the greatest playwrights were coming from New York City. The greatest writers. The, uh, yeah, come on.

• 5:01Bill Maher?

  There's more to civilization than what's on 101.5. You know, I agree, it's part of civilization. It's music and culture. It's not, there are other.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  Poetry, dude, poetry slams, New Yorkian poets.

• 5:13Bill Maher?

  Poetry.

• 5:13Speaker 04

  Uh, come on, Pinochet. All of it was happening in New York.

• 5:17Bill Maher?

  So, okay. I mean, that's a part of what civilization is, but just because it's that important to you, doesn't mean it's that way for everybody.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  So, so punk and hip hop is not important to you?

• 5:29Bill Maher?

  What?

• 5:30Speaker 04

  Punk and hip hop is not important to you?

• 5:32Bill Maher?

  Important? Uh, no.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  I like the way you're saying important.

• 5:35Bill Maher?

  I don't think.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  That's, that's an affirmation you've picked up. Cause you didn't talk like that from Jersey.

• 5:42Bill Maher?

  Actually, I did. My father was a newsman.

• 5:44Speaker 04

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 5:45Bill Maher?

  And so.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  That's where you get that great voice.

• 5:47Bill Maher?

  Dickson was very important in our family and speaking like that. Um, yeah, I never really had the New York accent, which was good. But I always had the New York mentality. I mean, I, I think one reason I did well out here is because they lack east coast kind of vibe out here.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  They don't, they don't have that vibe.

• 6:07Bill Maher?

  And I, and when you bring it.

• 6:09Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:09Bill Maher?

  It stands out. It works.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  It's electric. Yeah.

• 6:13Bill Maher?

  You know, we're just.

• 6:13Speaker 04

  We're confrontational. You, I mean, you have to be confrontational in New York because you've confronted every day by millions of people.

• 6:20Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 6:20Speaker 04

  Different cultures, different, uh, economic backgrounds. You gotta be alert. You gotta be on your game.

• 6:26Bill Maher?

  That's what I didn't like about, in New York. Like, I don't.

• 6:29Speaker 04

  You came out here to relax.

• 6:30Bill Maher?

  I don't wanna always be on my game. People used to say, uh, you know, I get my energy from the people on the street.

• 6:36Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:36Bill Maher?

  And I would say, I use all my energy trying to get by these people.

• 6:42Bill Maher?

  I don't wanna.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  No, I hear you, I hear you, but I love it. I I feed off of it.

• 6:45Bill Maher?

  I know, and that's what makes the world go around is that we just don't agree and we're still friends because.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  It's a beautiful thing.

• 6:51Bill Maher?

  It's a beautiful thing. And also, it's nice that you can have a place, like you say, where you go, where you don't wanna live, but you still like it. That's how I feel about New York. A beautiful fall weekend.

• 7:02Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, there's nothing like it in New York.

• 7:04Bill Maher?

  In New York?

• 7:04Speaker 04

  Trees changing and and all that and the play.

• 7:08Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  It's the beginning of all the theater season and all the TV series.

• 7:12Bill Maher?

  Always back to the theater.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  Because that's my thing, I'm a theater nerd.

• 7:17Bill Maher?

  I know, you're you're one of the most accomplished. Don't you have a lifetime achievement from?

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Finally, after years of being snubbed for all my one man shows.

• 7:26Bill Maher?

  Really? You think you were snubbed?

• 7:28Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I feel like I was. I feel like I was changing comedy in America in really important ways. And I don't think I was getting the recognition I deserved.

• 7:36Bill Maher?

  Well, I could make the same claim.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  So do it.

• 7:39Bill Maher?

  No, because I don't think it looks, I don't think it's a good look to do.

• 7:42Speaker 04

  No, it's not a good look, but sometimes you have to, you have to pat yourself on the back, otherwise, uh, who's gonna, if there's, nobody's gonna recognize you, you gotta recognize yourself.

• 7:49Bill Maher?

  That's The New Yorker.

• 7:50Speaker 04

  That's right, recognize, you gotta recognize.

• 7:52Bill Maher?

  I mean, look, I'm not gonna say, I've never, like, in this very chair, bitched about my forty Emmy nominations and they never would give me one. I understand why, and I have bitched.

• 8:04Speaker 04

  Why, why, why didn't they give it to you?

• 8:06Bill Maher?

  Because I'm too truthful, because I'm not woke enough.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 8:10Bill Maher?

  You, people like you get awards because it's the woke speaking to the woke. So, you know, it's always good. And that's okay, I understand that. I'd much rather have the um, freedom to speak always as I have, completely freely and completely truthfully as I see it.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  It's interesting you're saying that because you're right, people who start seeking awards and recognition.

• 8:29Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 8:30Speaker 04

  Start couching their speech and their themes to get those awards. So you have to hit certain, uh, you can't say certain things.

• 8:38Bill Maher?

  And it works, by the way. It works.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it can work, it can work, yeah.

• 8:41Bill Maher?

  I mean, voters, you know, the award voters, they absolutely confuse the actor with the part.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  Absolutely, always.

• 8:49Bill Maher?

  So, you know.

• 8:52Bill Maher?

  Was Matthew McConaughey good in, um, Dallas Buyers Club?

• 8:57Speaker 04

  He was, he was amazing.

• 8:58Bill Maher?

  He was good, but I think it was a given that he was gonna win because the character he played was someone who fought for AIDS, against AIDS and, you know.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Well, but also, come on, the Oscars and all these award shows, I mean, I don't wanna diss him cuz I, I wanna get one, but at the same time, the movies that win are never the movies that are the cultural shifters and the cultural makers, they're not the best movies of the time, of the era.

• 9:26Bill Maher?

  No.

• 9:26Speaker 04

  They're like, popular and cute. No, the winners of the Oscars, come on, it's never the most.

• 9:33Bill Maher?

  John, John.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  Cutting edge movie.

• 9:35Bill Maher?

  No, that's exactly what they're, what they're not are the popular movies, the ones that win are the ones that are saying to the audience, the movies used to say to the audience, uh, this is Hollywood, uh, welcome to our, our show that showcases who we are and what we do and we wanna show you that we make the best movies, now what they're voting for is we wanna show you that we're the best people. So, things like Nomadland, that, you know, no one went to see or wanted.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Nobody went to see that, nobody wanted to see that.

• 10:07Bill Maher?

  Nobody went to see a lot of these ones, they're.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  But her previous movie was amazing, amazing, The Riders, it was about, she started as a documentary about these Native American kids and, and she turned it into a movie about their own lives and scripted their own lives into it, and one of the kids got, uh, they were, uh, Bronco Riders, and one of the kids got stomped on his head, it was wild, wild amazing.

• 10:29Bill Maher?

  There is such a divide between the ultra woke stuff that, uh, wins the awards.

• 10:37Speaker 04

  There's no ultra woke, bro, I'm ultra woke, they're not, they're not woken up for me, I'm sorry, they're not woken up.

• 10:43Bill Maher?

  Well, that's quite a statement and we probably should not pursue that at all.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  America is, is a centrist country, we don't have a real left, we have a real radical right, but we don't have a real radical left, we have center and then a little center left. Real radical left wants to destroy government just like the right, wants to upend everything, wants to throw out the establishment, we don't have any of that, come on, what do we have, the, the, the, the left, the, the, the Democrats eat their own, and they don't listen to their progressives, they never, they destroy them.

• 11:17Bill Maher?

  I don't even, I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. I tell you.

• 11:22Speaker 04

  Come on, let's hop.

• 11:24Bill Maher?

  Let me ask you about your personal life. Like, when you're in a relationship, are you always having like political talks with your girl? Or, I'm assuming it's a girl, I don't wanna be, I don't, I wanna be woke enough to say I...

• 11:35Speaker 04

  Thank you, thank you.

• 11:37Bill Maher?

  It could be anything and everything would be fine, and that's true, everything would be fine. But I know, I know you're a straight man. Um, but, uh, does it, do you, do you have to be with someone who agrees with you politically? Or could you be with someone, and would you then always be arguing?

• 11:52Speaker 04

  Uh, my wife and I are always arguing.

• 11:55Bill Maher?

  Oh, you're married now?

• 11:56Speaker 04

  I've been married, I've been married almost, tomorrow, tomorrow's our anniversary.

• 12:00Bill Maher?

  How many years?

• 12:01Speaker 04

  We've been married 25 years.

• 12:02Bill Maher?

  You've been married 25 years?

• 12:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:04Bill Maher?

  I got bad information.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it wasn't, I, I mean, we've had our ups and downs and, you know, we got past it and I think we're doing great right now, we're doing amazing.

• 12:12Bill Maher?

  So your marriage came along just with the century?

• 12:15Speaker 04

  Yes, it did.

• 12:16Bill Maher?

  25 years?

• 12:16Speaker 04

  25 years.

• 12:17Bill Maher?

  Isn't that something?

• 12:18Speaker 04

  And for Hollywood, that's like 100 years.

• 12:20Bill Maher?

  Oh, that's a, that's a lifetime achievement award.

• 12:25Speaker 04

  Where's, where's that award? I want that one.

• 12:27Bill Maher?

  Well, congratulations, that's, uh, and do you argue politics or do you just...

• 12:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, we argue politics, we argue a lot.

• 12:33Bill Maher?

  She doesn't see things exactly as you do?

• 12:35Speaker 04

  No, she doesn't, she sees things very differently than I do and I'm, and sometimes it's uncomfortable. Yeah, I think you should be. If you like to fight, if you like to argue.

• 12:43Bill Maher?

  I don't. I really don't. People think I do, cause I wind up doing it, I mean...

• 12:48Speaker 04

  But if you left New York, you don't like New Yorkers, cause you don't like to argue. Cause everybody loves to argue, all my friends argue with me 24/7.

• 12:55Bill Maher?

  They do.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, New Yorkers argue all the fucking time, even when they shouldn't be arguing, they're arguing.

• 13:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, that's one of the things I just did not like about the city. You know, John, I lived there twice, I lived there, first of all, again, I, I grew up with New York TV, New York sports teams, my father worked there, so yes, we were a satellite of New York. But come on, New, New Jersey and...

• 13:15Speaker 04

  I know, I know, it's, it's New York adjacent for real.

• 13:17Bill Maher?

  I mean, it's, it's, uh, I mean, look, you're, you're from what borough?

• 13:21Speaker 04

  Queens, Jackson, I'm Bridgeton Tunnel.

• 13:22Bill Maher?

  There are people who, yeah, who would say Manhattanites who say New Jersey.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  My wife tells me that, yeah, she does. She says, "You're Bridgeton Tunnel, you'll always be Bridgeton Tunnel."

• 13:31Bill Maher?

  And Staten Island.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  Oh, forget it, it's not even New York.

• 13:33Bill Maher?

  Does it really belong in New York? It's like they towed it from off of North Carolina or something.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  What is that, Staten Island?

• 13:41Bill Maher?

  It doesn't even look like a city.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  Except for Wu-Tang, that's the only great thing they've ever done.

• 13:46Bill Maher?

  Of course, well, it's the cradle of civilization, where the Wu-Tang Clan emerged by the river.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  God, I'm so thankful for that. It makes me almost want to believe and thank the Lord.

• 13:56Bill Maher?

  So civilization began by four rivers. Because you need a-

• 14:02Speaker 04

  Well, Western civilization, European civilization. No, no, no, no, no.

• 14:06Bill Maher?

  No, no, no, rivers transcend ethnicity, John. One of them was the Yangtze in China.

• 14:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:13Bill Maher?

  Okay, again, this is before there was even politics. So there couldn't be any prejudice about where it started. It was just about the river brings fertile soil, let's live here.

• 14:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, but there were a lot of places that that happened.

• 14:27Bill Maher?

  Four.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Okay, go ahead.

• 14:29Bill Maher?

  The Yangtze, the Tigris-Euphrates and Mesopotamia, more, thank God, not white people. Because what's worse than that? The Nile, more not white people, great.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  It's amazing.

• 14:43Bill Maher?

  And the, uh, Amazon.

• 14:46Speaker 04

  Oh, you got it, you did get it. Damn, you're good.

• 14:49Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 04

  Are you a historian? Are you like a historian?

• 14:51Bill Maher?

  Wait, no, I don't think it's the Amazon, because, because they had to, they had to migrate into South America.

• 14:57Speaker 04

  No, no, but you're right, no, no, but you're right, because-

• 15:00Bill Maher?

  It's the Nile, the Yangtze, the Tigris-Euphrates, and, uh-

• 15:05Speaker 04

  It is the Amazon, because, you know, they just did laser lidar, and they found all these incredible civilizations underneath the jungle forest in the Amazon.

• 15:15Bill Maher?

  Oh, I'm sure, yeah.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  And chilies, avocado, tomatoes, all come from the Amazon. So how did they get all the way to Mesopotamia?

• 15:22Bill Maher?

  Chili's the restaurant?

• 15:24Speaker 04

  Say what?

• 15:24Bill Maher?

  Chili's the restaurant?

• 15:26Speaker 04

  No, Chili's the, the, all Chili's comes- Latin food is the mother cuisine of all great modern cuisine.

• 15:33Bill Maher?

  The cradle of eating. Obviously.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  Yo, hot food, there would be no hot food if it wasn't for us, no chilies, chocolate, there'll be no chocolate, there would be no vanilla. The corn is created the industrial revolution. That fed everything and potatoes to help Europe grow during the industrial revolution. Without our potatoes, our corn, our chocolate, our vanilla, you got nothing.

• 15:54Bill Maher?

  My people, the Irish, had a little something to do with potatoes, I must say.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, you got it from us. The we, potatoes are from South America.

• 16:01Bill Maher?

  The Irish got potatoes from South America? I don't think that's historically accurate.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  And it's good that you're not free because that that'll help.

• 16:08Bill Maher?

  Want some?

• 16:09Speaker 04

  No, no, no. Cause not to talk to you, I need to be, I need to be sharp.

• 16:14Bill Maher?

  No, you don't. I'm not. Uh, no, do you not smoke weed at all?

• 16:19Speaker 04

  No, I I take edibles like to go to sleep or to travel and whatnot. And a cap in a stem now and then to be happy.

• 16:26Bill Maher?

  Oh, mushrooms.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:28Bill Maher?

  Yeah, they've learned how to like microdose it well, haven't they?

• 16:31Speaker 04

  Really good. With chocolate. And that's also a Latin thing, cybos, uh, mushrooms are, they're from Meso, they're from Mesoamerica.

• 16:39Bill Maher?

  Okay. Why don't we make it easier? Name the thing the Latins haven't done. And that seems like a much shorter list.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  It's hard, cause popcorn, peanut butter.

• 16:48Bill Maher?

  What about, uh, bronze statues of businessmen at bus stops? Is that from the, cause that seems like a very white.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Rodan is white. Yeah, we'll we'll give you Rodan.

• 16:59Bill Maher?

  The the monster or the sculptor?

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, don't you love those monsters Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra?

• 17:06Bill Maher?

  Mothra? Yes. Was that Japanese?

• 17:09Speaker 04

  The crazy butterfly. Yeah, yeah, all the Godzilla creatures. Was Rodan the turtle?

• 17:14Bill Maher?

  No, I mean, didn't you play, um, were you mutant ninja?

• 17:18Speaker 04

  No, no, I was I was in Spawn, uh, the the black comic book.

• 17:22Bill Maher?

  But didn't you play some, um, well, you Luigi?

• 17:25Speaker 04

  Luigi, Super Mario Brothers, video game, first video game. Wasn't very successful then, but now it's become cult.

• 17:31Bill Maher?

  Moulin Rouge, you were.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  I was Toulouse-Lautrec.

• 17:33Bill Maher?

  Toulouse-Lautrec, that's a great part. Right.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  Incredible director. I mean, Baz Luhrmann, one of the greats, a world builder. He creates worlds and.

• 17:41Bill Maher?

  Romeo and Juliet?

• 17:42Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 17:43Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  Tybalt.

• 17:46Bill Maher?

  Wait, see, I remember all those because you made that comment once about like James Franco shouldn't be playing Castro.

• 17:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, he shouldn't be.

• 17:54Bill Maher?

  And I was like, but John, you've played all these parts of people who weren't Colombian. How does it, why does it work one way and not the other way?

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Because it hasn't worked in our favor in centuries. When the founding fathers of Hollywood came to Hollywood, it had just been Mexico 60 years prior. And they came into a predominantly Latino community that had been lynched, massacred, burned alive, shot, redlined, segregated, sterilized, Jim Crowed. And, and they came here and they didn't include the people into, into any of their movies for centuries.

• 18:34Bill Maher?

  Drink?

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, please. No, no, no, I'm drink, I'm sober.

• 18:39Bill Maher?

  You know, it goes with the light conversation. Cocktail, should we move to the veranda?

• 18:49Bill Maher?

  No, I'm sure that.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  And then there was brown face for like decades, bro, brown face, I mean Charlton Heston.

• 18:55Bill Maher?

  But that was a while ago. I mean, since then, we've had Raul Julia and Andy Garcia.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Dude, we're 20% of the population with less than 3% of the leads on film and television with 30% of the box office and we're still like under, we're the most aggressively underrepresented ethnic group in America.

• 19:14Bill Maher?

  Well, okay, I'm sure there's work to do there and I'm.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  I need your help doing it.

• 19:19Bill Maher?

  How, how could I help?

• 19:22Speaker 04

  With your 150 million dollars?

• 19:24Bill Maher?

  Well, I don't have, I don't have.

• 19:26Speaker 04

  I just need a little, a little cash.

• 19:28Bill Maher?

  And if I had it, I wouldn't spend it on that. Let me tell you something.

• 19:32Speaker 04

  What would you spend your money on?

• 19:35Bill Maher?

  You know, I'm a very simple dude.

• 19:37Speaker 04

  Oh, I can see by this huge property.

• 19:40Bill Maher?

  Well, I do have some land, that's nice, but I like land.

• 19:45Speaker 04

  I like land too. I like land is good.

• 19:47Bill Maher?

  Yeah, land is good. It's one reason I, again, would not want to live in New York. I do not like living in a building.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  I like land too.

• 19:53Bill Maher?

  Because I grew up in the suburbs.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:55Bill Maher?

  New Jersey is the suburbs. I grew up with a lawn. You know, we were middle class. We didn't have anything special or spectacular and I still don't. I have, you know, I'm a simple guy.

• 20:04Speaker 04

  This house is not, this house is not simple.

• 20:06Bill Maher?

  My, my actual, my actual house is.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  This is amazing.

• 20:09Bill Maher?

  My actual house. Two bedrooms, is that a lot?

• 20:13Speaker 04

  No, it's not a lot.

• 20:14Bill Maher?

  It's not a lot.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  It's square footage, it's your footage.

• 20:17Bill Maher?

  I don't even know, but it's not a lot. It's got a kitchen, it's got a, you know, a nice kitchen. Look, it has a kitchen with an island, which when, when I was a kid, my kitchen was the size of this chair. Like, an island, it, the kitchen was an island. Now everybody's got an island.

• 20:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, you got that space for an island, yeah, yeah.

• 20:33Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but it's not, it's not like a, it's what kitchens became. Houses got bigger. So I have a kitchen, I have a small dining room, a nice living.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  You're not overcompensating, that's good.

• 20:43Bill Maher?

  A nice living room, and then upstairs, there's a family room, which I don't go in a lot, because I don't got that.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  A family, you don't have a family?

• 20:50Bill Maher?

  And then, you know, my bedroom, a spare bedroom, a nice closet. I mean, it's, I, I, I have a great office. It's built sort of for Warren, that house, but I don't need a lot. I'm a simple guy, one house, one car, one plane.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Oh, you don't, you don't have two homes, you don't have two on a plane. Just a simple jet, no helicopters for you?

• 21:09Bill Maher?

  No, no, no, I, and that stuff doesn't make me happy. It's just stuff that means stuff to me.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  Right.

• 21:15Bill Maher?

  You know, could they take my politically incorrect sign? They could have, but.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  Oh, politically incorrect, I love that show, yeah, yeah.

• 21:21Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you were on it.

• 21:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was, I love it.

• 21:23Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 21:25Bill Maher?

  So, you know.

• 21:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, you were very influential, I mean, your show was, was incredible. I mean, because nobody was talking like you back in the day. When you came up with, with, with being really aggressive about thoughts and, and calling people on shit. Nobody was yet doing that, you know.

• 21:42Bill Maher?

  And I'm still doing it.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, you still are.

• 21:44Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  It's time to cozy up with Panera Bread. Let's get toasty, cheesy. Oh, hello broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl. How about melty? Okay, Chipotle chicken ovo melt. It's dipping bread and soupy goodness season. Oh yeah, we are so back. It's Panera season. Order now.

• 22:42Bill Maher?

  No, I mean, I was funny reading the paper today. And there's Curtis Sliwa on the front page.

• 22:50Speaker 04

  Wow, crazy.

• 22:51Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 22:51Speaker 04

  Running for New York mayor.

• 22:52Bill Maher?

  Right. And it was, I just remember him on like

• 22:57Speaker 04

  Subway.

• 22:57Bill Maher?

  The first season of Politically Incorrect. Because we would have, he was, we had like a budget of nothing. And so we would have local New York types on very well. And he was interesting, remember the angels?

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Of course, I see him on the subway all the time.

• 23:09Bill Maher?

  Right, with the red hats.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:10Bill Maher?

  You know, and I think his girl was with him and she was just kind of like a hot guardian angel.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  She was really fine. She was like some kind of Russian chick. Yeah, yeah.

• 23:20Bill Maher?

  And now I see him and you know, we look, we all look older. Although you look fantastic. You really don't look like, you still look so

• 23:27Speaker 04

  Brown don't break down. So you know.

• 23:29Bill Maher?

  Another thing in the brown column. I'm so glad, I'm so glad, but let me keep scoring.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:34Bill Maher?

  Latin.

• 23:37Bill Maher?

  White people, bronze statues.

• 23:39Speaker 04

  White people have done some good things.

• 23:40Bill Maher?

  Bronze statues. Wait, we were the first ones to combine avocado and toast?

• 23:46Speaker 04

  You were.

• 23:47Bill Maher?

  The Winter Olympics?

• 23:48Speaker 04

  Avocado toast is incredible.

• 23:48Bill Maher?

  Winter Olympics, that's us.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  Skiing.

• 23:51Bill Maher?

  Music and elevators?

• 23:52Speaker 04

  Oh, I love elevator music. Come on, it really relaxes me.

• 23:57Bill Maher?

  White people have done a lot of things. I know, a lot of bad things. But you know, everybody in the world has done a lot of bad things.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, no doubt, no doubt.

• 24:06Bill Maher?

  Being, being horrible and racist and colonizers and all that shit. It is not the province of one race.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  No, no, of course not, of course not. I mean, my, my 15th, I go back 500 generations on both sides.

• 24:21Bill Maher?

  500?

• 24:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, both sides.

• 24:22Bill Maher?

  How do you know that?

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Because I went on Finding Your Roots.

• 24:25Bill Maher?

  Five, but they don't go back 500 generations?

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can't because

• 24:29Bill Maher?

  No.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  You can't be They can't because the Catholic Church kept crazy records.

• 24:36Bill Maher?

  Not 500, John.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, 500.

• 24:38Bill Maher?

  No, I promise you.

• 24:39Speaker 04

  They traced me back, my 15th grandfather.

• 24:42Bill Maher?

  That's not 500. Human.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  1400s?

• 24:45Bill Maher?

  Humans.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  What's the 1400s?

• 24:47Bill Maher?

  Well, think about it. How many generations in a-

• 24:49Speaker 04

  That's 500 years ago, brother. I know you're on a little bit of weed. I'm gonna help you with the math.

• 24:53Bill Maher?

  No, you're the one who's gonna be embarrassed. How many, how many generations in a century?

• 24:59Speaker 04

  Well, it depends. If you're Latino, it might be 20 or 30.

• 25:03Bill Maher?

  In a century, you have children every-

• 25:06Speaker 04

  Every 16 years.

• 25:08Bill Maher?

  Say 20 years.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  Okay, alright.

• 25:10Bill Maher?

  That's about, so there's five generations in a century. So, in 500 years, that's five-

• 25:19Speaker 04

  That's if everybody's having kids at 20, yeah, yeah.

• 25:21Bill Maher?

  That's 25 generations.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  I'm the only person on this show that they could trace my lineage 500 years on both sides in the Americas. Two conquistadors who were genocidal murderers.

• 25:33Bill Maher?

  I'm sure you're related to conquistadors, but they don't go back 500 years. Conquistadors-

• 25:38Speaker 04

  1492.

• 25:39Bill Maher?

  Conquistadors were like 500 years ago. Again, that's 25 generations, not 500.

• 25:47Speaker 04

  That's 400 years. I didn't say 500 generations, I said 500 years.

• 25:51Bill Maher?

  You said generations.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  No, no, I said my 15th grandfather was Ben Alcazar, right-hand man to Pizarro. And he came to Colombia, before he genocided tons of Ecuadorian women and children. And then he came to Colombia and created four cities.

• 26:12Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean Mexicans are a mix of the indigenous people and the Spanish. So, you know, when people are like, oh, yeah, I mean, and the Spanish. Were as as.

• 26:25Speaker 04

  You gotta go on finding your roots, cause you're gonna find.

• 26:26Bill Maher?

  I did.

• 26:27Speaker 04

  What did, what did they find? Did you have roots?

• 26:31Bill Maher?

  Yeah, they, I knew basically what they were. My father, Ireland.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:35Bill Maher?

  My mother, that family originally was from Hungary. Um, Hungarian Jewish on that side. Although the Jewish kinda melted away as they came to America. I mean, that wasn't really put into me, but it's my heritage. And my father's side was pretty standard, like, came right after the civil war in this country, the potato famine in Ireland. Oh, sure. You know, they traced it certainly back uh 1818. I remember that number sticks in my head when they had the name of, it was what, great, great, great, great grandmother or something like that, born in the church. You know, they go back to like the church and.

• 27:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause the Catholic church kept, kept.

• 27:12Bill Maher?

  Yeah, of course, they kept the record. So they knew the people, absolutely, their full names and who came here and then married and O'Toole married Bliss one and uh, and uh, yeah, I mean, it was a very standard history. The Irish came to this country around that time. And they've also faced horrible prejudice.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, they were.

• 27:29Bill Maher?

  Irish and actors need not apply or they're something, shit like that. And, you know, every ethnic group that, that comes here gets the shaft. You're like at the bottom of the, of the.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Right, but we've been here, the first European language spoken in America was not English, was Spanish. And we've been here since then.

• 27:48Bill Maher?

  Absolutely.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  And, and we, Irish, cause they're white people can move up. But we haven't moved up. We've stayed in the same place because this is the fourth mass deportation of Latinos since 1830. We've been, we've been, uh, after Mexico, after Mexico became America and they took, they took the land and invaded and took from Mississippi to the Pacific. They, they started lynching people, stealing their land, stealing their political wealth. And then they mass deported in the, in the um, 1930s with the Repatriation Act, two million Latinos, most of them were American citizens.

• 28:26Bill Maher?

  And, and what the president is doing, scaring the shit out of people who don't, shouldn't have this shit scared out of them and should be able to stay here, is awful. And I told that to, to him, to his face.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  You did?

• 28:39Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 28:39Speaker 04

  That's amazing. That takes a lot of courage.

• 28:42Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, we kind of famously had dinner a few weeks ago, a month ago.

• 28:48Speaker 04

  You called him out, you called him out.

• 28:50Bill Maher?

  We had a, you know, don't make me go through this again, but you know, it was a big controversy at the time.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  It was huge, yeah, no, it was insane.

• 28:58Bill Maher?

  They were mad at me for going there, the woke, but like, I kept saying, well, among other things, one, when I left the dinner and before I got there, I never stopped tearing him a new asshole about the things I thought he deserved a new asshole torn about, so.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  And he took it, he took it with.

• 29:14Bill Maher?

  And what they got mad at me about was just explaining that in person, he's a completely different guy.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  Oh, totally different guy.

• 29:20Bill Maher?

  And that, and that is not on me, I'm just reporting. And yes, you can have a conversation and, and I did at one point say to him those exact words, I said, "You're scaring people. Why do you want to scare your own citizens?" You know, and in, in public, he would have exploded at that.

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 29:37Bill Maher?

  And say, "You're a terrible person!" And in private, he talks to you like a, like a human being and listens. A lot better than a lot of other people who are in those kind of positions have, that's just the truth. I know, I know they hate to hear it and a lot of people are involved.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  But it's, it's the presentational, performative side of him that's so dangerous and heinous.

• 29:57Bill Maher?

  So dangerous and so heinous.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, that, that side of him, because I've met him too, because we all met him in New York, he was always in the clubs. Getting on some model or something, whatever, you know, sitting on some corner trying to hit on all the hotties.

• 30:09Bill Maher?

  And what were you doing in the 90s, the same thing?

• 30:11Speaker 04

  I was always, I always had a date, I always came with a date.

• 30:14Bill Maher?

  I met him once at Mumba, do you remember Mumba?

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Yes, of course, I, I saw him at Mumba, yeah, he was always at Mumba.

• 30:21Bill Maher?

  Okay, well, I, that's where I, I met him twice before he was present, once at the Playboy Mansion and once at Mumba.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, Mumba was hot, that was where all the models were going.

• 30:31Bill Maher?

  And I think he was once on Howard Stern and Sharon, my name came up and, and you know, they were like. Howard is always asking about girls and I guess I was with someone and he went, "Yeah, he was with someone, not bad."

• 30:43Speaker 04

  You got a not bad, hey?

• 30:44Bill Maher?

  I got the...

• 30:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, you got the nod of approval from Trump. That's crazy. I, I, I met, I met him a, a time I was giving an award at the Trump Tower before he was even a, a political, uh, person. And I was giving Baz Luhrmann an award and he came up to me and he goes, "Oh, you're so articulate." Cause you know, white people always tell you that if you're a, a, a Latin person and you can speak that you're so articulate, which I know is code for, uh, I thought you were all dumb. And, uh, and he, but he was so meek. He was so, I was, I was astounded at how incredibly meek he is, like, like quiet.

• 31:19Bill Maher?

  I wouldn't call it meek. What I would call it is, um, knowing how to make everybody, it, it's ironic because he's known as the greatest egomaniac and he is quite an egomaniac, but to make the person you're talking to feel like they're the ones who are important and, and you're interested in what they're saying, he's good at that. I remember that, I, I remember that at the Playboy Mansion and I saw it again at the White House.

• 31:45Speaker 04

  Right, it's obsequious, it's obsequious.

• 31:47Bill Maher?

  It's not, he's not obsequious, he's just...

• 31:49Speaker 04

  I mean, I'm telling you what I experienced. I, and it seemed obsequious, even though he's gave me the, uh, the old, the old, uh, you, you're so articulate.

• 31:57Bill Maher?

  Well, that's just obnoxious because it's a terrible thing. But you know, people say, is he a racist or not? He's, he's an 80-year-old or soon to be, a, a year away from 80-year-old guy whose father was a virulent racist.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:10Bill Maher?

  And...

• 32:11Speaker 04

  He marched with the KKK, his father was arrested for marching...

• 32:13Bill Maher?

  His father was, was definitely a racist.

• 32:15Speaker 04

  And his grandfather was a pimp?

• 32:16Bill Maher?

  Like, of the times, like, the people are a product of their times. He is a product of his time.

• 32:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, but some of us overcome our times.

• 32:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah, exactly. That is absolutely true.

• 32:26Speaker 04

  He hasn't overcome that.

• 32:27Bill Maher?

  That is true and fair to say. But he's not on the level of racism that people say.

• 32:32Speaker 04

  No, that Stephen Miller is, no, nobody's at the level of Stephen Miller's racism and who, who's the architect of all this mass deportation. Grew up here in Santa Monica with Latinos and I guess they bullied him and he's got, uh, a chip on his shoulder over that.

• 32:45Bill Maher?

  But, I mean, part of this is a backlash to how badly Biden handled the immigration situation. It can't just be like come one, come all, which it was.

• 32:56Speaker 04

  Dude, there's plenty, there's plenty of room here and we need...

• 32:58Bill Maher?

  Room?

• 32:59Speaker 04

  Latif, there's plenty of room in America, come on. There's, there's not a lack of room in America.

• 33:03Bill Maher?

  But it's never about room, it's about resources and about... Uh, like having a, countries have to have a border, you can't, it just can't be, I mean, they've done surveys and something like 200 million people around the world when asked, would you come to America if you could, yes, I would, why wouldn't they? Lots of countries, excuse me, are shit holes.

• 33:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 33:22Bill Maher?

  And they would love to be here, you can't just let any-

• 33:25Speaker 04

  I mean, no, no, I'm not right, no, right, the places aren't shit holes, but-

• 33:28Bill Maher?

  Well, they are, and that's why they wanna come.

• 33:30Speaker 04

  And it's usually because of America, what America's done, especially in Latin America, has beat up every democracy that was burgeoning in Latin America, they destroyed it to keep their oil or their resources or bauxite or bananas.

• 33:42Bill Maher?

  Like, if you don't really have rights, like, as far as, like, um, women's rights in most, the majority Muslim countries, women just don't have-

• 33:52Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 33:53Bill Maher?

  Close to the rights we have here, if you can't dress the way you want. If you are in a country where there's just extreme poverty, uh, which a lot of countries have, or if there's like, the kind of corruption, and we have corruption here, of course, but on a level-

• 34:08Speaker 04

  Well, we have extra new corruption with the meme coin.

• 34:12Bill Maher?

  But it, there, it is on a level in some countries, that way, way more.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  Well, we're catching up, we're catching up.

• 34:17Bill Maher?

  We're catching up, but I, we still-

• 34:18Speaker 04

  No, it's still-

• 34:19Bill Maher?

  But there's a reason why people wanna come here, cause it's still better.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  But I gotta tell you, I mean, immigrants-

• 34:23Bill Maher?

  I mean, if you live in a country where you can take a chicken on a bus, that was always my standard, okay, I think I have the right to call that-

• 34:29Speaker 04

  I love chickens on a bus.

• 34:30Bill Maher?

  A shit hole country, and, and I see why you wanna come here. It's not your fault you live in a shit hole, it doesn't mean you're a shit hole person, you're the misfortune of being born there, and I get it why you would wanna move here.

• 34:40Speaker 04

  Right, but the thing is that the immigrants that are coming here are building the country, they're, they're, they're the essential workers.

• 34:48Bill Maher?

  They are.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  They're the first responders, they're doing all your construction, painting, plumbing.

• 34:53Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 34:53Speaker 04

  Uh, raising all your food, cooking all your food, serving all your food.

• 34:57Bill Maher?

  Kids, taking care of your kids.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  Taking care of your kids, we do all the work that nobody wants to do, and keep, and keeps the country going, I mean, immigrants are the life source of this country.

• 35:08Bill Maher?

  Yes, they are, absolutely, because, again, we're both products of them.

• 35:12Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, we are both.

• 35:13Bill Maher?

  And we, we need, but, what most Americans, I think sensible, middle of the road people would say is, yes, of course, we, we are an immigrant welcoming country, but there has to be some order to it, it just can't be come one, come all, um, no- You know, I mean, there was like video people would see of people, just the border guard just looking as people or just like giant trains of people. And, you know, that's why, then where do they go? They went to cities on the borders who then were like, you know what? If you people in New York think that it's such a great idea to let anybody in, we're gonna bust them to you. And then what did the people in New York say?

• 35:55Bill Maher?

  I mean, even the governor of New York was like, we can't take all these people. Mayor Adams was like, and he's right. It's like, you know, these people live here and now this is their burden to this degree? But, I mean, those, those people.

• 36:08Speaker 04

  No, I agree, I agree.

• 36:09Bill Maher?

  Those cities on the border called the bluff of the sanctuary city. It's very easy to sit there from far away and go, we're a sanctuary city. Okay, well, here's, here's all the people sanctuary, and then they didn't like it.

• 36:19Speaker 04

  Let's fix the immigration problem.

• 36:21Bill Maher?

  That's the kind of hypocrisy.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  Let's fix the legal immigration, because it's a broken system.

• 36:25Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  That people who've been here for 30 years can't be naturalized, that's insane. Who've been working here and giving their lives. And just fix the legal immigration. Stop creating these quotas and this blockage.

• 36:36Bill Maher?

  He did finally have to go back on that and say, you know, the people who work in.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Farms.

• 36:42Bill Maher?

  Because like, who does he think cleans the rooms in his hotels?

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Right, exactly.

• 36:47Bill Maher?

  Who do you think mows the lawn?

• 36:48Speaker 04

  With his lawn and all his golf.

• 36:50Bill Maher?

  At your golf club around your first wife's grave.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Who polishes your golf balls for you.

• 36:54Bill Maher?

  You know? So, you know, he has a way of like always going too far and just doing.

• 37:00Speaker 04

  And then taco-ing. Yes. Just tacos.

• 37:04Bill Maher?

  Taco-ing, everything is Latin.

• 37:06Speaker 04

  I've forgotten, the whole world is Latino.

• 37:08Bill Maher?

  Coming from taco. That's right.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 37:11Bill Maher?

  Well, the Iranians found out it's not always taco.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, that, that.

• 37:14Bill Maher?

  They found out it was not always taco-ing.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, that, that.

• 37:17Bill Maher?

  See, it's kind of good to have that reputation of like, oh, he never follows through. Oh, really?

• 37:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. And then boom, he goes out of nowhere.

• 37:24Bill Maher?

  30,000 dollar bomb up your ass.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  It's so crazy.

• 37:28Bill Maher?

  So, well.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  Well, here we are.

• 37:30Bill Maher?

  So what's your, what are you doing out here?

• 37:32Speaker 04

  Hustling, selling.

• 37:34Bill Maher?

  What do you?

• 37:35Speaker 04

  I'm hawking wares.

• 37:37Bill Maher?

  Like for what?

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Uh, smoke, uh, oh.

• 37:40Bill Maher?

  Oh, that's your series?

• 37:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:42Bill Maher?

  Apple?

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Apple, true crime, Dennis Lehane, one of the great preeminent, uh.

• 37:45Bill Maher?

  How's Apple to work with? Good?

• 37:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh my god, yeah. I'm catching up to your, to your.

• 37:50Bill Maher?

  I'm a humble man.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  You're a humble man.

• 37:53Bill Maher?

  Hey, you know what? I was poor.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  No, you earned it. I'm not, I'm not saying, I'm not begrudging you, your wealth.

• 38:00Bill Maher?

  When I lived in New York, I was like, it's funny, I know, I, I used to hear old comics talk about this and think they were so corny, but now I'm saying it and it's true, when they would say, you know, we were poor when we were young, but we didn't know we were poor.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  I, you didn't know, you never knew you were poor.

• 38:15Bill Maher?

  I, I'm sure I knew. I was living on a, a, a shit hole apartment above a bus stop on 8th Avenue and 55th Street.

• 38:22Speaker 04

  But you didn't know it was shitty. You, you, you were kind of loving it, digging it.

• 38:25Bill Maher?

  I did, but I was on my own.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  You were roughing it, you were an artist, yeah.

• 38:28Bill Maher?

  I was living in New York. For the first.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  The hottest women in, in, in the whole country.

• 38:33Bill Maher?

  Yes, none of them would talk to you, but they were the hottest. That's the thing about New York.

• 38:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, women, New York women.

• 38:40Bill Maher?

  That's one reason I didn't like New York. I did not get along with the women. You know, you vibe with certain cities.

• 38:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:46Bill Maher?

  I came out here, I found paradise.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  Oh my god, you made a killing there.

• 38:49Bill Maher?

  Just, they're.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  Well, you also came here when you had mad success.

• 38:52Bill Maher?

  Girl, no, I, well, more success.

• 38:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:55Bill Maher?

  No, I did not come here with mad, I came here in 1983, when I had done three Tonight Shows. I did not mad.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Oh my god, that's success?

• 39:04Bill Maher?

  I had a little apartment and a Toyota, and my sound system was a.

• 39:07Speaker 04

  No, that's not success.

• 39:08Bill Maher?

  My sound system in the, in the car, was a boombox in the backseat.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Corolla, is that what you had?

• 39:14Bill Maher?

  That plugged into the cigarette lighter.

• 39:18Speaker 04

  Those are some sad times.

• 39:20Bill Maher?

  That was my sound system.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:22Bill Maher?

  Where I put a, a tape into a boombox.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  I remember those things.

• 39:25Bill Maher?

  In the backseat of the car.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  But didn't you think you were cool? Come on, you thought you were so dope.

• 39:30Bill Maher?

  No one could think they were cool with a boombox in the backseat. And, uh.

• 39:34Speaker 04

  But you started, but then you started, you know, uh.

• 39:37Bill Maher?

  I remember I was going out with a girl in nineteen eighty-five who was like so out of my league. And she would just unmercifully make fun of me about that.

• 39:47Speaker 04

  You gotta love that, you gotta love that.

• 39:48Bill Maher?

  I do. I, you know, it doesn't work to have things if you can't look back and know what you didn't have. Because it just doesn't, it ju- I, I was, uh, somebody was mentioning sometime recently that, oh, nice bathtub. And I said, you know, I never had a bathtub that I wanted to get into until I was forty-five when I moved here.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 40:11Bill Maher?

  I, I never took a bath. I mean, I hadn't that like.

• 40:14Speaker 04

  You took like sink showers?

• 40:16Bill Maher?

  Because like the idea of sitting in this little narrow shitty.

• 40:20Speaker 04

  Horse baths, horse baths, you know, like, and at a sink?

• 40:24Bill Maher?

  They used to call, they had an ethnic name for that, but I won't say it.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  No, I know, I know they did.

• 40:28Bill Maher?

  Because it would, it would make you so mad. I'm just saying, I've heard it.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  I know. That's good restraint. I appreciate that.

• 40:37Bill Maher?

  But it was a blankety-blank shower.

• 40:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, no, I know, I know.

• 40:40Bill Maher?

  And I've taken many of them.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, we all have.

• 40:43Bill Maher?

  I still do it sometimes.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  Yo, I found out that I, when I realized that I, I was really poor was when I went to the Fresh Air Fund. Do you remember the Fresh Air Fund? They just take Latin black kids that were poor. And they would send us to a rich white family in the country for two weeks. And then I realized, oh my God, they have TV dinners, they have TVs, two TVs. They have all this space, they have a yard. It was incredible. Then I realized I was fucking poor.

• 41:08Bill Maher?

  Yeah. Yeah, I was super poor. I mean, that apartment was horrible. It was a, you know, what they call a studio, which meant one room. I often woke up with roaches around me.

• 41:20Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, that was the, that's.

• 41:21Bill Maher?

  Sometimes crawling on me.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Oh, you know, I've had that.

• 41:24Bill Maher?

  I mean, that's.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  I've had one crawl on my lips.

• 41:27Bill Maher?

  If you don't know you're poor then, and when you wake up with a roach in your mouth.

• 41:31Speaker 04

  That is the most disgusting.

• 41:32Bill Maher?

  Not this kind of roach.

• 41:33Speaker 04

  No, no, that kind of roach, you wake up with that one, that's okay. That means you had a great night. Yeah, I mean, I got talent because that's the only way you can get girls if you're broke. Because if you have talent and it's like a magnet and girls come to you. Otherwise, without cash, yeah, you're not gonna get girls. Not in New York City.

• 41:50Speaker 00

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• 42:19Speaker 01

  It's getting chilly outside. But you know what that means?

• 42:25Speaker 01

  It's time to cozy up with Panera Bread. Let's get toasty, cheesy. Oh, hello, broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl. How about melty? Okay, Chipotle chicken ovo melt? It's dip and bread and soupy goodness season. Oh yeah, we are so back. It's Panera season. Order now.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  Para los grandes, para los chicos, para los bajos y los altos. Los pacifistas, los valientes. Para los optimistas y los pesimistas. Los que valoran lo de adentro. Para los que están lejos, los que no vende lejos, y los que no vende cerca. Para los introvertidos y los extrovertidos. Para los que piensan y los que hacen. Para los que nos mostraron el camino. Coca-Cola, para todos. Compra una Coca-Cola en una tienda cerca de usted.

• 43:18Bill Maher?

  Take me through that. How did the talent? Because I don't remember this happening to me. I don't remember being a starting out young comedian and, oh, I've got talent and the girls were there. They were not.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Oh my God, they were all over there. I was at First Amendment Improv. I don't know if you remember that. It was on Bond Street.

• 43:33Bill Maher?

  What was your first thing? You were in an improv troupe?

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was in improv troupe.

• 43:37Bill Maher?

  In New York?

• 43:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, and there were all these.

• 43:39Bill Maher?

  Where were they headquartered?

• 43:40Speaker 04

  Bond Street, Bond Street.

• 43:41Bill Maher?

  Bond, where, downtown?

• 43:43Speaker 04

  Downtown, and Robin Williams would come in, Bruce Willis would come in, yeah. I was in the C company, I wasn't part of the A company. I never got to the A company.

• 43:50Bill Maher?

  Well, that their loss, huh?

• 43:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:54Bill Maher?

  So they had, they had like leagues like that?

• 43:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, so there was all these.

• 43:57Bill Maher?

  Like varsity, junior varsity?

• 43:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:59Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  C was the worst, but you, but they kept promising, so you had to like clean their bathrooms, do the bar sweep and clean up the whole place.

• 44:06Bill Maher?

  Who from the A group would we know today that went on to good things?

• 44:10Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 44:11Bill Maher?

  Maybe nobody.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  Michael, oh my God, what is his name? Michael?

• 44:16Bill Maher?

  Well, he can't, it can't be that great.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  No, no, he was in talk radio on, uh, uh, on Off Broadway with Eric Bogosian. And Nancy Lombardo coached Josh from Drake and Josh.

• 44:28Bill Maher?

  When I.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  For comedy. Okay, it's not really huge success, but it's.

• 44:33Bill Maher?

  When I, I'm not a culture vulture, John, but I do occasionally go to the theater and enjoy it when I do. And I went to see a play by John, by Eric Bogosian when I lived in New York in the nineties.

• 44:46Speaker 04

  Talk radio?

• 44:47Bill Maher?

  No, I don't think it was.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  Sex, drugs and, and rock and roll?

• 44:49Bill Maher?

  Maybe it was that. It was down, it was, uh, on, it's in the Village and it's this little, it's the theater's the name of the street, like the.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  Barrow Street Theater, Barrow Street Theater or, uh, Menelaus?

• 45:02Bill Maher?

  That, that's it.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

• 45:04Bill Maher?

  That's it.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a great little theater, yeah.

• 45:06Bill Maher?

  Okay, I saw that there.

• 45:08Speaker 04

  Oh, I think that was Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. That was a big one, yeah.

• 45:11Bill Maher?

  Right. And, uh, yeah, I was, I was.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  Drinking in America or, yeah, one of those. They were great.

• 45:19Bill Maher?

  I mean.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Oh, you didn't like it?

• 45:21Bill Maher?

  No, I did.

• 45:22Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:22Bill Maher?

  I did.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  I thought it was kind of revolutionary.

• 45:25Bill Maher?

  Yes, he had a, he had quite a moment there.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, cause he brought rage, he, he, he brought anger to it, he brought, yeah, he brought a lot of great stuff to one man shows and to comedy.

• 45:35Bill Maher?

  Right. I mean, I would say, you know, in many ways, what you did on, you know, brother, similar stuff, like one man, like, I'm just gonna bring it as me.

• 45:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:48Bill Maher?

  You know?

• 45:48Speaker 04

  He, he was one of my, uh, yeah, one of the people who inspired me, Lily Tomlin, Will be Goldberg.

• 45:53Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 45:53Speaker 04

  And, and of course, the, the, the great Spalding Gray, who was, I think the forefather to all of us. He gave me my first Obi for Mambo Mouth. Spalding Gray gave it to me.

• 46:04Bill Maher?

  What was the name of the big show he did? I remember, I remember. And we're talking about a WASPy white guy.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Oh, the WASPyest, WASPyest dude you ever met in your entire life.

• 46:14Bill Maher?

  But you're still okay with him?

• 46:15Speaker 04

  Swimming to Cambodia was a big hit.

• 46:17Bill Maher?

  That was it.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:18Bill Maher?

  Swimming to Cambodia, what a name for a... Wow, I don't...

• 46:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, you wouldn't think that would be a hit, but it was.

• 46:24Bill Maher?

  I think they ran it on PBS and I saw it there. Sounds like the kind of thing that would happen.

• 46:29Speaker 04

  I read all his, all his plays. I read everything. And his new documentary is incredible where, you know, he talks about...

• 46:35Bill Maher?

  So just, so girls would come to your...

• 46:39Speaker 04

  No, no, they would be part of the troupe and we'd be hanging out.

• 46:42Bill Maher?

  Oh, part of the troupe?

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, and they were all super fine.

• 46:45Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 46:46Speaker 04

  And the headliners...

• 46:47Bill Maher?

  In comedy?

• 46:48Speaker 04

  Dude, they were so fine. Jane Bruckner was one of the hottest women I ever saw. Pat, I can't remember her last name. Pat was a WASPy chick. She was fine too. Yeah. Emmy Gay, she was, yeah, yeah, there was Tamra. Yeah, there was, there was a lot of like great...

• 47:05Bill Maher?

  You're sure they were fine, or maybe they were just making you laugh so you liked them more?

• 47:08Speaker 04

  I liked that too. I obviously swayed.

• 47:11Bill Maher?

  I liked that too, but I'm never, I'm never...

• 47:13Speaker 04

  No, no, they were fine. They were fine.

• 47:14Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 47:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, because you're right. There weren't a lot of hot chicks in stand-up, but improv.

• 47:18Bill Maher?

  No, there have been very attractive, I mean, Sarah Silverman is a world...

• 47:22Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, she's fine. She's fine, yeah.

• 47:24Bill Maher?

  You know, and lots of the ones that had a reputation, because in the old days, they had to sort of like play that up to get over on the audience. Lucille Ball and...

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, she was a beauty.

• 47:35Bill Maher?

  Yeah, she was, she started out as a, as an ingenue, not as a...

• 47:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, as a model. She was a model.

• 47:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, so, you know, Carol...

• 47:41Speaker 04

  And then she married that Latin guy.

• 47:43Bill Maher?

  Yes!

• 47:44Speaker 04

  And back to Latinness again.

• 47:46Bill Maher?

  And he was a success in the 50s, so I mean, is America really that terrible?

• 47:51Speaker 04

  Dude, the one, the one guy, one guy in, over the whole population around you. And there's one guy who's making, who, who they couldn't even get the show on the air. She had a fight and say, "I'm not, I'm not gonna do your show, your radio show unless my husband's in it." They go, "No, America's not gonna believe you're married to a Latin guy." And she goes, "But I am."

• 48:12Bill Maher?

  It's so hard to imagine that show without him.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  Lucy, you got a lot of explaining to do.

• 48:19Bill Maher?

  Because, and, you know, times were so different. There was an episode where she purposely gets a sunburn.

• 48:28Bill Maher?

  So that Ricky won't hit her.

• 48:31Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 48:32Bill Maher?

  Because she bought a dress that she shouldn't have. And just the idea that America was super cool with this complete notion of, oh sure, you know, your husband.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  Husband's gonna beat me.

• 48:43Bill Maher?

  Husband's gonna beat you.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  Spousal abuse, you know, it's part of the marriage.

• 48:46Bill Maher?

  Ralph Kramer.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  Oh yeah.

• 48:47Bill Maher?

  To the moon. I mean, it's hard to imagine, I don't know, Ray Romano threatening his wife with a closed fist every week. At the end of it, everybody loves.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  Modern Family, O'Neill's gonna go, yeah, come over here Sofia Vergara, I'm gonna knock you out.

• 49:04Bill Maher?

  And the gay guy's gonna hit the other gay guy, that's, we gotta do it, right. Uh, it's just, I'm just saying.

• 49:10Speaker 04

  It was a different time.

• 49:11Bill Maher?

  I'm just saying, the amount that this country has changed, as much as we have problems, is just astounding, and I just don't think that's something that they want to acknowledge enough on the left, because they always wanna feel like, I'm the better person, because I say things are worse than you are saying. And that, that doesn't make you better, just because you're a glomer. Uh, and.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  Glomming, that's a very New York word. Did you say glomming?

• 49:38Bill Maher?

  No, I do, I do say that word all the time. My mother used to say it. I said glomer, but, but glomming, yes, my mother would always say.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  It's a great Yiddish New York word.

• 49:47Bill Maher?

  Glomming on.

• 49:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:48Bill Maher?

  Glomming.

• 49:49Speaker 04

  And the garnifs, those garnifs coming over.

• 49:51Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:52Bill Maher?

  Amos, you know that one?

• 49:53Speaker 04

  No, I don't know what Amos is.

• 49:54Bill Maher?

  That means like, the real truth.

• 49:56Speaker 04

  Oh, wow. Nobody ever gave me the Amos.

• 49:58Bill Maher?

  That's exactly how you say it. Give me the Amos on, on whether.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  Oh, that's so dope. I never heard that. That's hot.

• 50:05Bill Maher?

  Whether that bomb wiped out the Iranian nuclear stood or not, you know, like, give me the Amos.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  Give me the Amos.

• 50:10Bill Maher?

  But, you know, and I, I only know some of these from TV, like Spilkes.

• 50:14Speaker 04

  Spilkes.

• 50:15Bill Maher?

  And, uh, what's the other one?

• 50:17Speaker 04

  Cavelling, I'm cavelling over there.

• 50:18Bill Maher?

  Cavelling, Verklem.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Look at that, that punim, what a lovely punim.

• 50:21Bill Maher?

  The punim, yes, right.

• 50:23Speaker 04

  Punim, I said punim.

• 50:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah, punim. But we have a lot of, uh, Latino phrases in the language.

• 50:30Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, ton, tons.

• 50:32Bill Maher?

  Okay, so.

• 50:32Speaker 04

  They're good, like homie.

• 50:34Bill Maher?

  Homie?

• 50:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're my homie, what's up, homie? That comes from, uh, California.

• 50:38Bill Maher?

  I thought that was black.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  No, no, black, it was black adopted, but it was Latinos here who were in jail, and, and you're a homie, you're from my hometown, you're my homeboy.

• 50:48Bill Maher?

  You know the, the movie, I'm sure you do, the, uh, the.

• 50:54Bill Maher?

  What was the name of it? It's the, the, the fighting, fighting queen, no.

• 51:00Speaker 04

  Which one, which one?

• 51:01Bill Maher?

  It's, uh, it was about-

• 51:02Speaker 04

  Give me more, give me more.

• 51:03Bill Maher?

  Three years ago, I think it's, um, it was about the African kingdom of Dahomey. And the warrior queen, maybe?

• 51:12Speaker 04

  Oh, yes, yes, with Viola Davis.

• 51:13Bill Maher?

  Correct, correct.

• 51:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:15Bill Maher?

  And they gloss over the little fact in the movie, to a degree, not completely. Um, but they play it down that it was a kingdom based on slavery.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 51:25Bill Maher?

  Blacks taking other blacks as slaves, which happened all the time.

• 51:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:29Bill Maher?

  And, uh, but, and the name of that kingdom was Dahomey.

• 51:33Speaker 04

  Dahomey?

• 51:33Bill Maher?

  D H.

• 51:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:35Bill Maher?

  And I remember-

• 51:35Speaker 04

  That's Dahomey.

• 51:37Bill Maher?

  That's what, all I could think of was-

• 51:39Speaker 04

  Dahomey's all, Dahomey's-

• 51:41Bill Maher?

  These slaves were captured, they ain't my homie, they, and there was-

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Take, take Dahomey.

• 51:46Bill Maher?

  The country used to be called Dahomey. Um, for years, I remember seeing it on, on, on the map. And now I think it is Benin.

• 51:54Speaker 04

  Benin, I mean, everybody changed names over there.

• 51:56Bill Maher?

  They do change names from colonial names. I mean, Beijing, when I was a kid, was Peking. Remember Peking?

• 52:01Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 52:02Bill Maher?

  Peking duck.

• 52:02Speaker 04

  Peking duck, that's where it came from, yeah.

• 52:04Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 52:04Speaker 04

  Wow, things have changed.

• 52:06Bill Maher?

  Sri Lanka was Ceylon. Uh, Mumbai was Bombay.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 52:11Bill Maher?

  You know, I mean-

• 52:13Speaker 04

  It's incredible.

• 52:14Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 52:14Speaker 04

  How do you keep up with all this? You have to read a lot, but-

• 52:17Bill Maher?

  My job.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  It is your job.

• 52:18Bill Maher?

  It's always been my job. It was always my passion because, again, my father was a newsman.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Oh, so yeah, news was a big deal in your house.

• 52:24Bill Maher?

  It was, you know. I mean, they didn't force it on anybody, but, you know, kids, they just absorb the, by osmosis of what-

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Yes, yeah, you do.

• 52:32Bill Maher?

  So, you know, and I could also, uh, we could hear my father on the radio. My father was a radio news guy.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  Would I have heard him?

• 52:40Bill Maher?

  You may have, if you listened to Mutual Broadcasting or W O R.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  W O R, I listened to W O R.

• 52:46Bill Maher?

  You probably heard Bill Burr.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  What, in the seventies?

• 52:49Bill Maher?

  Uh, seven, into the seventies, yes. By then, he was more transitioned to editor. But, uh, fifties and sixties mostly, but maybe earl-, yes, early seventies. And this is the days when every radio station had, uh, you know, news at the top of the hour.

• 53:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, love that.

• 53:04Bill Maher?

  Just five minutes of news, you know.

• 53:06Speaker 04

  Like, like Wins Wins News, they had the whole world in ten minutes.

• 53:09Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 53:11Bill Maher?

  Yeah, top of the hour.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  Top of the hour, Wins Wins News, the whole world in-

• 53:15Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 53:17Bill Maher?

  Secretary of State Kennedy Howell has met with President Khrushchev's premier

• 53:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, you got that voice, man.

• 53:24Bill Maher?

  In Vienna.

• 53:24Speaker 04

  The radio voice.

• 53:25Bill Maher?

  The talks were described as productive but frank. In other news, the hula hoop is...

• 53:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, the hula hoop is all the rage in America.

• 53:32Bill Maher?

  And that was just how it was, you know? So, it was always what I was interested in, the New York...

• 53:38Speaker 04

  History, history and news.

• 53:39Bill Maher?

  History and news, The New York Times is always...

• 53:41Speaker 04

  What college did you go to?

• 53:42Bill Maher?

  Cornell.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  Oh, that's a good college. What'd you major in?

• 53:47Bill Maher?

  Uh, English, history.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  English Lit?

• 53:50Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean, I think I started as...

• 53:53Speaker 04

  Did that let you major in English Lit? He was okay with that?

• 53:57Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean...

• 53:59Speaker 04

  If he's paying for it, doesn't he want you to be in a career that's gonna bring you a...

• 54:02Bill Maher?

  He wasn't paying for a lot of it. He was out of work at that time.

• 54:05Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 54:06Bill Maher?

  Um, I, I, like, I was a drug dealer in college. I mean, a pot dealer. I'm, I'm, I'm, look, it's...

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Hey, that's how you paid, that's how you paid for your credits?

• 54:15Bill Maher?

  At a certain point, yeah. I mean, look, I say pot dealer, uh, because primarily a pot dealer. But if our dealer got something else, we would sell that too.

• 54:25Speaker 04

  Oh, damn, yeah.

• 54:26Bill Maher?

  So, you know, this is the seventies.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it's a different time.

• 54:29Bill Maher?

  And, uh, I'm, I'm lucky...

• 54:31Speaker 04

  Well, you had to make, how you, we were gonna pay for college? You wanted education, which is a great thing, and the only way for you to get it was dealing.

• 54:38Bill Maher?

  I mean, it was...

• 54:38Speaker 04

  I'm not hating on you, I'm not hating.

• 54:40Bill Maher?

  It was a, a victimless crime.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:42Bill Maher?

  You know, college kids...

• 54:43Speaker 04

  For your little pleasure. I mean, weed is now legal everywhere, what the fuck?

• 54:46Bill Maher?

  The college kids are gonna get high, if, if not me...

• 54:49Speaker 04

  I tutored, I tutored the, um, the disadvantaged, I tutored, uh, handicapped kids. And, uh, and I read for the blind. That's how I paid for my college.

• 55:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  And took crazy loans that, you know, ruined my credit for 20 years.

• 55:03Bill Maher?

  I read to blind children every Tuesday night.

• 55:08Bill Maher?

  Children.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's why, that's how I paid for it. I did a drug deal, cuz yeah, that wasn't my thing.

• 55:15Bill Maher?

  But in New York, you never got like sucked into a drug lifestyle?

• 55:21Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no. You were never? When I grew up in that neighborhood, everybody was like, there were so many addicts and I was like, I'm never gonna be like that as long as I live.

• 55:29Bill Maher?

  Well, you don't have an addictive personality.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  No, I have addictive personality, but.

• 55:33Bill Maher?

  You do? To what?

• 55:35Speaker 04

  To caffeine and

• 55:38Speaker 04

  reading, success.

• 55:40Bill Maher?

  That's, that's, that's everything you like is not an addiction and some addictions are good. I never understood the term sex addiction, they would say people. He's got a sex addiction, like, and what is the?

• 55:51Speaker 04

  That's a bad thing? Yeah, how is that a bad thing?

• 55:53Bill Maher?

  What's the problem? What do you get? Wrinkles from smiling too much? I mean, yeah, I mean, but people have gone to, I mean, Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, there are.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  Well, it's just a performative sort of act of contrition.

• 56:06Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 56:07Speaker 04

  We know what they're talking about, yeah, yeah.

• 56:08Bill Maher?

  A performative act of contrition. They went away to some.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  They're talking Catholic cuz I'm talking about contrition and, yeah, yeah, penance.

• 56:15Bill Maher?

  I was raised the same way, Catholic.

• 56:17Speaker 04

  I'm a recovering Catholic, that's I'm sure.

• 56:20Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:21Bill Maher?

  My father thankfully pulled out.

• 56:25Bill Maher?

  And Catholics, that's their method of birth control.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  It is, it is. That was my method for years.

• 56:30Bill Maher?

  Pulled out of the church when I was 13, right before.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  That's what I meant, out of the church, I pulled out of the church.

• 56:35Bill Maher?

  So you don't, you're not Catholic anymore?

• 56:37Speaker 04

  No, no, not at all, not at all.

• 56:38Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 56:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:39Bill Maher?

  No religion?

• 56:40Speaker 04

  No, my wife's Jewish, but she's not practicing and my kids, yeah, they, they, they went to a crazy St. Anne's and Grace Church, but they're not practicing either.

• 56:51Bill Maher?

  Do they ask you about spiritual matters sometimes or say, you know, daddy, what do we believe in?

• 56:57Speaker 04

  No, they never asked that. That's interesting. They, we, we never really talked about.

• 57:01Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  I mean, I talked to them about spirituality. I did talk to them about that and meditation and. Finding, finding your inner voice and all that stuff?

• 57:11Bill Maher?

  I think, I think it's, as far as children go, I think that kinda stuff is something you'd have to tell the kids to begin with because it's just not something that would cross their minds anyway.

• 57:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, to ask.

• 57:21Bill Maher?

  You know, if you're eight years old, you're not like worrying about the cut.

• 57:23Speaker 04

  What do you believe in? What is your, do you believe in God or do you believe in a, a higher power?

• 57:28Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're not gonna ask that.

• 57:30Bill Maher?

  I, I believe in another toy.

• 57:32Speaker 04

  That's what I believe in.

• 57:33Bill Maher?

  I believe in.

• 57:34Speaker 04

  Chocolate and candy.

• 57:35Bill Maher?

  Baseball.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:36Bill Maher?

  You know, I believe in not getting beat up.

• 57:39Speaker 04

  But I talk, I mean, I obviously, you know, you wanna have great philosophical conversations with them when you, when you can. But I always talk to them about spirituality and, and meditation and all, all those things that matter to me.

• 57:52Bill Maher?

  Have they grown up now?

• 57:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, my kids are twenty-four and twenty-five, yeah.

• 57:55Bill Maher?

  So what's that like? I mean, can, can you talk to them exactly like a friend and should you?

• 58:01Speaker 04

  I, I think at this age, if you wanna have a great relationship, you gotta stop being a parent at some point. Otherwise, you just scare them away.

• 58:09Bill Maher?

  Right, you're right.

• 58:09Speaker 04

  Because they know, because you're being judgmental, basically, because they're not doing it the way you want it to be done. So you have to shut up a, a lot.

• 58:17Bill Maher?

  And also, they're grown up.

• 58:18Speaker 04

  They're grown up.

• 58:19Bill Maher?

  They gotta, you know, at some point, they gotta let the bird fly.

• 58:22Speaker 04

  But I'm a Latin dad. I want them to be around me twenty-four seven. I want them to live near me. I want, I wanna, I wanna have, you know, their, their spouses come and stay with us. I, I want all of that. I do.

• 58:33Bill Maher?

  They're married?

• 58:34Speaker 04

  No, they're not married. They, uh, my son's been with the same girl for about two and a half years, so who knows, they're living together.

• 58:41Bill Maher?

  But you could be a grandfather at some point.

• 58:44Speaker 04

  I, I would love that, man.

• 58:45Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 58:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, that, that's what I'm, I'm sixty-four. I, I, I, I, I long for that.

• 58:50Bill Maher?

  Wow, we're closer in age than I thought.

• 58:53Speaker 04

  How old are you?

• 58:54Bill Maher?

  Sixty-nine.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  Get outta here. You're not sixty-nine.

• 58:57Bill Maher?

  Yeah, sixty-nine.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  You're just trying to impress me.

• 58:59Bill Maher?

  No. Um.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  Show me, show me your birth certificate.

• 59:02Bill Maher?

  I am really.

• 59:04Speaker 04

  I don't believe you.

• 59:04Bill Maher?

  What are you, Trump and I'm Obama?

• 59:07Speaker 04

  What about Ice Age?

• 59:08Bill Maher?

  What am I, Obama? Um, but wow, I'm really falling behind in this race to get to grandchildren cuz I, you know.

• 59:17Speaker 04

  Dude, if you don't have kids yet, that's

• 59:20Bill Maher?

  Or marriage.

• 59:21Speaker 04

  I think it's you're gonna be grandfather and father at the same time. Are you, are you planning to have kids?

• 59:26Bill Maher?

  No, you're kidding?

• 59:28Speaker 04

  Well, that's a good decision.

• 59:29Bill Maher?

  Of course, it was a great decision for me. I mean, people are different.

• 59:32Speaker 04

  I don't think everybody has to have kids.

• 59:34Bill Maher?

  They certainly don't.

• 59:35Speaker 04

  The place is overpopulated anyway.

• 59:37Bill Maher?

  I think so.

• 59:37Speaker 04

  You gotta do it if that's what you think your mission is.

• 59:40Bill Maher?

  There's a very big movement. I mean, Elon Musk is one of these guys.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, like repopulate it with all his sperm. I mean, if you're billionaire, I guess there, there, there's a, there's a lot of incentive.

• 59:49Bill Maher?

  But he's not the only one. A lot of people are on this tip that, um, we need to like have more babies. The, the Trump administration.

• 59:57Speaker 04

  Well, what kind of babies though? White babies?

• 1:00:00Bill Maher?

  That's part of it.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  Hmm, yeah, yeah, let's talk about the real.

• 1:00:04Bill Maher?

  That is part of it. I think that is definitely part of it is that they see themselves getting outbreded.

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:10Bill Maher?

  Uh, and it's true, you know, but.

• 1:00:12Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, I mean, this country was a, a, a, a Native American country. That was the big population here. We were all Native American. And then until the great extermination, ninety-five percent of us disappeared off, off the Americas, out of the Americas.

• 1:00:27Bill Maher?

  When you say us, you're talking about indigenous people.

• 1:00:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm indigenous, so yeah.

• 1:00:32Bill Maher?

  But you're, I mean Colombian, I mean, come on, there's Spanish, Spanish blood in you too. You're not like.

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, no, no, I'm not fully indigenous.

• 1:00:39Bill Maher?

  You know, with the bowler hat.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  Oh, I've had the Peruvians. I love that. The women adopted that hat. That is the dopest thing.

• 1:00:47Bill Maher?

  What is that all about? That black, round hat?

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  It was, I think it was a, a bad shipment of bowler hats that got sent to Bolivia. And, and, and the women loved them and they, and they were, they, the whole shipment of it and it became part of the culture. But it was a British bowler hat.

• 1:01:05Bill Maher?

  I wonder if you look up on Pornhub, you could get one where the girl was wearing that while she's blowing a guy.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  Oh, I bet you can find anything.

• 1:01:13Bill Maher?

  I bet you what I'm saying.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  You can request that.

• 1:01:15Bill Maher?

  I, I, I don't want that, but I'm just, I'm just curious.

• 1:01:18Speaker 04

  Play, uh, go on the app, FEELD, F E E L D.

• 1:01:22Bill Maher?

  No, I don't wanna do it. I, I don't wanna see it. I just.

• 1:01:25Speaker 04

  I'm just trying to help you.

• 1:01:25Bill Maher?

  I'm just, I'm not, not.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  I don't use FEELD.

• 1:01:28Bill Maher?

  Don't, don't.

• 1:01:28Speaker 04

  But if you wanna ask for like, uh, bondage or whatever.

• 1:01:31Bill Maher?

  No, I don't. I don't.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  If you wanna ask, I mean, with spanking or a pinky up the ass.

• 1:01:36Bill Maher?

  Don't write.

• 1:01:37Speaker 04

  Go to FEELD. I'm not, I don't have any stake in it, but.

• 1:01:39Bill Maher?

  Looking for Bolivian blowjob, and I'm not. I'm just curious about things, but.

• 1:01:45Speaker 04

  You're a curious man.

• 1:01:46Bill Maher?

  I'm very curious.

• 1:01:47Speaker 04

  And that's what keeps you young.

• 1:01:48Bill Maher?

  I think so.

• 1:01:49Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 1:01:50Bill Maher?

  Well, I think a few things keep you young.

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  What else? What else keeps you young?

• 1:01:53Bill Maher?

  Uh, the pot, um, I, I, for me, works for me, you know?

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  What else?

• 1:01:57Bill Maher?

  Uh, it's, it's an energy drug for me, you know, I'm more.

• 1:02:00Speaker 04

  Gives you energy?

• 1:02:01Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I'm more energetic. I would, I would never do it before I slept. That would be the opposite of.

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  Wow, that's crazy. I take them to go to sleep to get that velvet dream.

• 1:02:08Bill Maher?

  Many people do.

• 1:02:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:10Bill Maher?

  We all have different body chemistries.

• 1:02:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, we do, absolutely.

• 1:02:12Bill Maher?

  You know, that's why we all do.

• 1:02:13Speaker 04

  Like cap and stems make me feel the most content I've ever felt in my life, but then some of my other friends get serotonin depletion and I get so mad depressed the following day.

• 1:02:24Bill Maher?

  You, well, you're, you're, you are definitely getting serotonin depletion from mushrooms. That's a fact. How much it affects you like the next day?

• 1:02:33Speaker 04

  Not, barely.

• 1:02:34Bill Maher?

  That's good because it's a microdose.

• 1:02:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, a cap and stem is tiny, yeah.

• 1:02:37Bill Maher?

  I remember doing mushrooms the first or second time I did it and it was at that, where I just left college. I was just, I was living in New York in a work, in a apartment, apartment in Spanish Harlem.

• 1:02:49Speaker 04

  Oh, look at you. It's Spanish again. Go to your, go to your, uh.

• 1:02:52Bill Maher?

  Ninety-nine street.

• 1:02:53Speaker 04

  Ninety-nine street, definitely Spanish Harlem.

• 1:02:56Bill Maher?

  I remember I had, one of my first jokes was like, I live in such a culture neighborhood. Everyone is practicing their Spanish all the time.

• 1:03:04Speaker 04

  Did you pick up any good words? Con yo, we put that.

• 1:03:08Bill Maher?

  Por favor, I learned.

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Por favor is good, that's good, please, he always pleases.

• 1:03:11Bill Maher?

  That's about it, I'm not a, I'm not a cunning linguist. But uh.

• 1:03:15Speaker 04

  But a lingual, con, cunning linguist.

• 1:03:17Bill Maher?

  I was living on Ninety-Ninth Street.

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  Spanish Harlem.

• 1:03:22Bill Maher?

  Spanish Harlem.

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  On the east side.

• 1:03:25Bill Maher?

  What was I telling you? Yeah, it was a five-floor walk-up.

• 1:03:30Bill Maher?

  Five floors and.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  Kept you in shape.

• 1:03:32Bill Maher?

  Oh, really did. And um, you know, it was between Third and Lex.

• 1:03:37Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, deepen it, deepen it.

• 1:03:39Bill Maher?

  And uh, you know, it wasn't in the triple digits, Ninety-Ninth.

• 1:03:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:44Bill Maher?

  So, you know.

• 1:03:45Speaker 04

  You're not, you're not, yeah, yeah, but it was, it was right at the border, I think the border was, what, Ninety-Sixth Street or something like that? Of, of Spanish Harlem?

• 1:03:53Bill Maher?

  Yes, absolutely.

• 1:03:54Speaker 04

  Cause my cousin lived on Ninety-Eighth and Fifth Avenue. In Spanish Harlem.

• 1:03:59Bill Maher?

  What were, what were the addresses you remember in?

• 1:04:02Speaker 04

  Well, I lived in Queens, so.

• 1:04:04Bill Maher?

  All your life?

• 1:04:05Speaker 04

  Yeah. Corona, East Thomas.

• 1:04:07Bill Maher?

  You never, you never lived there?

• 1:04:08Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, yeah, when I, when I, when I went to college, I went to NYU, so I was in Manhattan, yeah. And then I lived all over the, I lived at the Whitby.

• 1:04:15Bill Maher?

  You must be ecstatic about the new mayor.

• 1:04:18Speaker 04

  We don't have a new mayor yet.

• 1:04:20Bill Maher?

  You know, well, I mean, you must be ecstatic that the Democratic candidate is um.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Mandami, Mandani.

• 1:04:27Bill Maher?

  This is M. Bone.

• 1:04:28Speaker 04

  Zorhan Mandani.

• 1:04:29Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:04:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:31Bill Maher?

  I'm still learning the name, no disrespect.

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  No, no, no, I don't feel disrespected.

• 1:04:34Bill Maher?

  You must be thrilled about that.

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  I, I, I like him, yeah, I think he's, I'm a democratic socialist, so yeah.

• 1:04:40Bill Maher?

  I mean, you're, one of your, one of yours is getting in.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:43Bill Maher?

  And uh, wow, we'll see how that goes.

• 1:04:46Speaker 04

  Well, we'll see how that goes, I mean, we don't, we, we still have a long way to go.

• 1:04:48Bill Maher?

  Uh.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Everybody's now backing Eric Adams.

• 1:04:52Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 1:04:52Speaker 04

  Not, not, not everybody that, that, that I'm friends with, but I know a lot of uh, New York uh, movers and shakers are backing Eric Adams now, cause they feel like Cuomo's gonna be out.

• 1:05:03Bill Maher?

  That the people Cuomo did the best with were the people that. Mondani was targeting the most the the working class, black and Latino.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  No, no, he Mondani did well with Latinos. He didn't do well with blacks.

• 1:05:19Bill Maher?

  Okay, there you go.

• 1:05:19Speaker 04

  I don't know why.

• 1:05:21Bill Maher?

  I think because they've seen this movie before about being somebody who has promising stuff that cannot possibly be delivered.

• 1:05:30Speaker 04

  No, he might be able to deliver. I mean, do you feel like Eric Adams delivered? Please.

• 1:05:34Bill Maher?

  No, no, but.

• 1:05:36Speaker 04

  Tough on crime? Yeah, right.

• 1:05:39Bill Maher?

  He wasn't. I like.

• 1:05:40Speaker 04

  He wasn't tough enough, man. I mean, I I I mean, New York is doing fine. I think it's doing okay. We just have to deal with the, like you guys got to deal with the homeless situation.

• 1:05:48Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:48Speaker 04

  But you know Reagan in the 1980s, before 1980, you were able to institutionalize people.

• 1:05:54Bill Maher?

  They, the thing they got Eric for was the the connection with Turkey, the bribes. Remember that?

• 1:06:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:02Bill Maher?

  Like the country of Turkey. And it was like, okay, it wasn't what he should have been doing exactly, excepting, you know, hotel rooms or whatever.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  He should be accepting anything.

• 1:06:12Bill Maher?

  I know, but it was like, of all the things people do in this world.

• 1:06:16Speaker 04

  I mean, the meme coin, Trump's meme coin, like, come on, that's real, that's a real Ponzi scheme.

• 1:06:22Bill Maher?

  Right. Or the the dude in New Jersey, Menendez.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  Oh, Menendez.

• 1:06:26Bill Maher?

  Stuck it, I'm sorry, John.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  The Egyptian guy, he took how much money did he take? Gold bricks, he took gold bricks.

• 1:06:32Bill Maher?

  I'm gonna put one for the white. I'm gonna put, when the whites get one there, when Menendez putting gold bricks.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one.

• 1:06:38Bill Maher?

  Menendez putting gold bricks, okay.

• 1:06:40Speaker 04

  And his wife too, when she was taking the other gold bricks.

• 1:06:43Bill Maher?

  Of all the corrupt things that people do, to like, be like, that apoplectic about his.

• 1:06:50Speaker 04

  I know, but I'm I'm not mad about that.

• 1:06:52Bill Maher?

  A hotel room from Turkey, like Turkey, you know, okay, so he did some favors for Turkey. It just, it reminded me of when they threw, um. When on a rider out of show business for like 12 years because she shoplifted. I'm like, of all the crazy things that people do and the and the sins and the crimes and the shitty stuff.

• 1:07:16Speaker 04

  That's insane. I mean, that canceling culture is crazy.

• 1:07:19Bill Maher?

  Deal breaker for you is that you.

• 1:07:21Speaker 04

  No, no, that wasn't my deal breaker for him.

• 1:07:23Bill Maher?

  Not for you, but I'm just saying like, like it just like the, there was just no rhyme or reason.

• 1:07:27Speaker 04

  Mismanagement is what bugs me.

• 1:07:29Bill Maher?

  No rhyme or reason to like the, the, the punishment level for the crime that goes on in show business. People do the worst sort of things and the punishment is fairly benign and then they do nothing. Like shoplift, I mean, so she had a bad day. I, I, I just wanted to lift, I don't know.

• 1:07:49Speaker 04

  She wanted some stuff that she liked and she didn't want to pay for it.

• 1:07:52Bill Maher?

  Or she just was having a moment and said, oh, be nail polish. I'm gonna just fucking take it. And it's like, and you can't.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  Who hasn't shoplifted in their life? Come on. I shoplifted a ton when I was a kid.

• 1:08:05Bill Maher?

  Baseball cards.

• 1:08:06Speaker 04

  Baseball cards, toys.

• 1:08:08Bill Maher?

  All I cared about was.

• 1:08:09Speaker 04

  Oh, toys. I always wanted toys.

• 1:08:11Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11Speaker 04

  Would you play baseball growing up?

• 1:08:13Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:08:13Speaker 04

  What, what position?

• 1:08:14Bill Maher?

  I, well, I was a second baseman.

• 1:08:18Speaker 04

  Oh, you gotta have a good arm.

• 1:08:19Bill Maher?

  I was also a pitcher. I remember one of my wonderfulest moments was I was brought in as a relief pitcher. Uh, and like won the big game. I remember, I remember, I remember leaving, I remember leaving Hoffman Field.

• 1:08:34Speaker 04

  That's the best feeling, man.

• 1:08:36Bill Maher?

  And like people, it was like the, my first time, first time I ever felt like a star.

• 1:08:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it's a great feeling.

• 1:08:42Bill Maher?

  People were like patting me on the back and like I was, and I was like, yeah, and I must have been all of eight years old or something.

• 1:08:48Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, eight.

• 1:08:49Bill Maher?

  Well, it was, it was little league, it was Pee Wee League.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:08:51Bill Maher?

  Um, and my father was the coach of the team, uh, cause he worked nights, radio. So he had, I did like, we could practice on a Wednesday afternoon or something. And, um, you know, he kind of was like more hard on me because he wanted to like overcompensate for being dad, the coach.

• 1:09:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:11Bill Maher?

  So like, I should have been the starting pitcher. I had a very strong arm. And he put this other guy who just grooved it and they started to like light him up and they brought me in and I.

• 1:09:21Speaker 04

  Close, you're a closer, man. You're a clutch. That's the most fun, man.

• 1:09:27Bill Maher?

  And I was a little wild, which scared the kids, probably. And I was a little Don Drysdale, like, fuck you, get off that little chin music.

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, come on, get out of here, you suck it.

• 1:09:36Bill Maher?

  Maybe you'll be crowding the plane. But are you a big Mets fan?

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm a big Mets, because I'm from Queens.

• 1:09:40Bill Maher?

  You know I was a minority owner for 10 years.

• 1:09:42Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:09:43Bill Maher?

  Absolutely.

• 1:09:43Speaker 04

  With, with, with, uh...

• 1:09:44Bill Maher?

  The Wilpons.

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  The Wilpons.

• 1:09:46Bill Maher?

  From 2011.

• 1:09:47Speaker 04

  Steve Cohen is now the owner, who's great.

• 1:09:49Bill Maher?

  One who bought us out.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  He's white Puerto Rican, yeah.

• 1:09:51Bill Maher?

  He, part of, whatever money I do have is partly because of Steve Cohen.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:09:57Bill Maher?

  I'm just comfortable.

• 1:09:59Speaker 04

  Oh, good, good.

• 1:09:59Bill Maher?

  You know, I just...

• 1:10:00Speaker 04

  You deserve to be comfortable.

• 1:10:01Bill Maher?

  Absolutely.

• 1:10:02Speaker 04

  I'm not, I'm not, I'm not begrudging you, your wealth.

• 1:10:04Bill Maher?

  All the, all the years that I did stand-up, I just stopped doing it six months ago. All those years, I always took a private plane. That was my...

• 1:10:13Speaker 04

  That was your thing? That was your guilty pleasure?

• 1:10:15Bill Maher?

  Exactly. I wanted to...

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  Why not?

• 1:10:17Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 1:10:17Speaker 04

  How much was that, I mean, it's not that much, anyway.

• 1:10:19Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean plainly, I put...

• 1:10:21Speaker 04

  You didn't own the plane, you just rented it for the...

• 1:10:23Bill Maher?

  Every time, because I didn't want to...

• 1:10:24Speaker 04

  What is it, 50K?

• 1:10:25Bill Maher?

  Didn't want to own one. Depends on where you went.

• 1:10:28Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 1:10:28Bill Maher?

  I mean, you could, you could go to Vegas or San Francisco for 15.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  From here?

• 1:10:33Bill Maher?

  From here.

• 1:10:34Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, it's so close by, yeah.

• 1:10:35Bill Maher?

  But New York, no, I mean, it was...

• 1:10:36Speaker 04

  New York would be like a 60, 70?

• 1:10:38Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe a, yeah.

• 1:10:40Bill Maher?

  If you want to get home.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If you don't want to drop in the middle, yeah.

• 1:10:44Bill Maher?

  On the way back, you were fighting the wind, so you'd refuel in Kansas, you know?

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  I've taken a few pri- private planes in my life.

• 1:10:52Bill Maher?

  But that ate up a lot of the profit from, from stand-up.

• 1:10:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, it eats a lot, yeah.

• 1:10:56Bill Maher?

  But I wouldn't have done the gigs if I couldn't have done it that way. You know, and I'm sure...

• 1:11:01Speaker 04

  I mean, to dri- I mean, you're not gonna drive there.

• 1:11:03Bill Maher?

  No, I mean, I tape real time on Friday.

• 1:11:06Speaker 04

  You're not gonna bus it, have you done the tour buses?

• 1:11:08Bill Maher?

  I literally couldn't have gotten there. Oh, I did once, you know, when I was young.

• 1:11:12Speaker 04

  It's exhausting, I couldn't sleep, and then I had to do a show, and then another show, and I was like...

• 1:11:16Bill Maher?

  The bed was a hammock.

• 1:11:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:18Bill Maher?

  This was the Frankie Valli tour I was opening for him in 1982. 20th anniversary of Sherry.

• 1:11:26Speaker 04

  Sherry.

• 1:11:27Bill Maher?

  Sherry. Okay, so there...

• 1:11:31Speaker 04

  So singing's not your thing?

• 1:11:32Bill Maher?

  Not my thing, at all.

• 1:11:35Speaker 04

  You were opening for him, but not singing, you were opening, you were doing comedy, thank God.

• 1:11:39Bill Maher?

  I was the chimp, I was the chimp up there while they were getting their seats. And I was on the tour bus. Uh, and man, yes, it was a hammock. That's what you slept in. While the, a hammock on a bus.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  Oh my god, bouncing the whole entire time, I was nauseous.

• 1:11:56Bill Maher?

  I didn't sleep a wink.

• 1:11:57Speaker 04

  No, I couldn't, and then I had to do a show, a two hour show by myself, a one man show.

• 1:12:01Bill Maher?

  No, I got to the next gig and of course it was blinding light. It was nine in the morning or whatever, we drove all night. I went to the hotel and went to sleep. The crew had to like go to work.

• 1:12:13Speaker 04

  Oh yeah.

• 1:12:14Bill Maher?

  If they didn't sleep on the bus, they just didn't sleep. They went right from the bus to building the stage. That is a.

• 1:12:20Speaker 04

  That's a rugged life. That's tough.

• 1:12:24Bill Maher?

  You know it's a.

• 1:12:24Speaker 04

  Touring is not, I mean touring, it can be inspiring and amazing, but it can also be freaking exhausting.

• 1:12:30Bill Maher?

  You know what's exhausting? Acting.

• 1:12:32Speaker 04

  Acting?

• 1:12:33Bill Maher?

  I just did, you know, in the eighties, I did a lot of acting. Did sitcoms and silly.

• 1:12:39Speaker 04

  I didn't know that.

• 1:12:40Bill Maher?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:41Speaker 04

  What shows, what shows?

• 1:12:44Bill Maher?

  Okay, well, uh, my debut was as a guest star on Alice.

• 1:12:50Speaker 04

  Alice, I love that show.

• 1:12:52Bill Maher?

  I did, uh, I played a cop who arrested Flo or one of the dingbats. And then I did, I did two episodes of Murder She Wrote as a guest star.

• 1:13:04Speaker 04

  Oh, Angela Lansbury.

• 1:13:05Bill Maher?

  Absolutely.

• 1:13:06Speaker 04

  That was in the, that was nineties, that was nineties radio.

• 1:13:09Bill Maher?

  DC Cab.

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  DC Cab.

• 1:13:11Bill Maher?

  Winner of eleven Academy Awards.

• 1:13:15Bill Maher?

  Pizza Man, of course, whichever one remembers. I mean, yeah. Cannibal Women and the Avocado Jungle of Death. I mean, I did a lot of, and then I did.

• 1:13:23Speaker 04

  A lot of B movies.

• 1:13:23Bill Maher?

  Series, um, well, B to U. I did, uh.

• 1:13:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, B to everybody.

• 1:13:29Bill Maher?

  Sarah with Gina Davis in nineteen eighty-five.

• 1:13:33Speaker 04

  Gina Davis, how tall is she, huh?

• 1:13:34Bill Maher?

  She was tall.

• 1:13:35Speaker 04

  Tall drink of water.

• 1:13:36Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:13:37Speaker 04

  Did you hit on her?

• 1:13:38Bill Maher?

  No. It was, it was great. I mean, every guy I knew was like, oh my god, you're working with Gina Davis. I, I, she's a beautiful woman, not my type.

• 1:13:48Speaker 04

  Not your type.

• 1:13:49Bill Maher?

  And it just, so we, there was no sexual.

• 1:13:52Speaker 04

  So you had a great time.

• 1:13:53Bill Maher?

  Right. Uh, then I did, uh, Showtime, when Showtime was a network starting out called Hard Knocks. I was two, if you can believe it, John, two mismatched detectives.

• 1:14:07Speaker 04

  And who was the other detective?

• 1:14:08Bill Maher?

  Tommy Hinkley, he was a redneck and I was a hippie. Uh, we were mismatched.

• 1:14:13Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, odd couple, the odd couple.

• 1:14:15Bill Maher?

  It was the odd couple as detective.

• 1:14:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two strange guys together and, and she would.

• 1:14:20Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:14:20Speaker 04

  Hilarity ensues.

• 1:14:21Bill Maher?

  Hilarity.

• 1:14:22Speaker 04

  Mayhem.

• 1:14:23Bill Maher?

  I did a series with Sam Kinison.

• 1:14:25Speaker 04

  Oh, the late, great Sam. Oh, I love that guy.

• 1:14:28Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:29Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, oh, that yelling.

• 1:14:31Bill Maher?

  That's not how I felt about him after we worked together, but okay.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  He was an ass?

• 1:14:35Bill Maher?

  Well, he was on heroin, so he would always.

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  I didn't know, I didn't know he was.

• 1:14:38Bill Maher?

  Keep everybody waiting for like eight hours while he was like this in the makeup chair. So, you know, um, but, um, that was called Charlie Hoover. And he played a little miniaturized devil on the main character's shoulder. They mini, okay, and I was, of course, the office creep.

• 1:15:00Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 1:15:01Bill Maher?

  Of course.

• 1:15:02Speaker 04

  Typecast.

• 1:15:03Bill Maher?

  Uh, I did the movie House Two, the sequel to House. Remember House?

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  No, which, uh, when was House?

• 1:15:10Bill Maher?

  House.

• 1:15:11Speaker 04

  Is that a horror movie?

• 1:15:12Bill Maher?

  It was a horrible movie.

• 1:15:15Speaker 04

  Horror, horrible, what's the difference?

• 1:15:17Bill Maher?

  It was, uh, no, it was, the, the first one was such a hit, they made a sequel. It was like a comedy about a haunted house.

• 1:15:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I know what you're talking about.

• 1:15:26Bill Maher?

  And I almost.

• 1:15:26Speaker 04

  Who did you play in that?

• 1:15:27Bill Maher?

  Um, not the part I wanted. I was, um, they were looking at me really hard for this, I guess, the, like, the lead, and I think Michael McKean got it.

• 1:15:36Speaker 04

  Oh, Michael McKean, yeah.

• 1:15:38Bill Maher?

  Yeah, so I'm still bitter about that.

• 1:15:40Speaker 04

  Great actor.

• 1:15:41Bill Maher?

  So, yes, I had quite the career.

• 1:15:43Speaker 04

  You had the, you have a resume there, that's for sure.

• 1:15:46Bill Maher?

  So, anyway, um, last week, my new friend, Chris Pratt.

• 1:15:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:51Bill Maher?

  He does a great series on Amazon, uh, called The Terminalist. Uh, he's a, plays a Navy SEAL, and he wanted me to do, uh, you know, lend.

• 1:16:00Speaker 04

  A spot little cameo?

• 1:16:01Bill Maher?

  Well, as myself.

• 1:16:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:03Bill Maher?

  On the set with, you know, two of the people who I know, because I watched the series that are, and it's as if, you know, to lend verisimilitude to the situation, so. But it was like a three-page scene. I mean, uh.

• 1:16:15Speaker 04

  Well, that's a lot.

• 1:16:16Bill Maher?

  So I wanted to do my best. I, I learned my lines and we shot it after, uh, the last taping of real time. It took a couple of hours and I just remembered, wow. This is hard. First of all, learning lines.

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  Oh my god, at our age, forget it. That shit is like a.

• 1:16:32Bill Maher?

  How do you do it?

• 1:16:33Speaker 04

  Dude, it's not easy anymore.

• 1:16:35Bill Maher?

  It's so shitty.

• 1:16:35Speaker 04

  I used to have a photographic memory.

• 1:16:38Bill Maher?

  It's really?

• 1:16:38Speaker 04

  But it's, now there's a lens cap over it. I don't know, it's foggy. My photographic memory does not photograph anymore. I have to spend months learning lines now.

• 1:16:48Bill Maher?

  Months?

• 1:16:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. But I mean, especially like, like the series Smoke I did, I had so much dialogue. I had to learn it months ahead because it's five episodes that I'm in and I, and I had like, I had a ton of dialogue. Like pages and pages. It's a lot of work.

• 1:17:02Bill Maher?

  And then, there's a lot of waiting in acting, just wait, and you know.

• 1:17:07Speaker 04

  They pay you to wait is what they're.

• 1:17:08Bill Maher?

  I know, but it's like, you can never really relax when you're waiting.

• 1:17:12Speaker 04

  No, you're not relaxed. How can you relax?

• 1:17:13Bill Maher?

  Because you're gonna do another take.

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:15Bill Maher?

  So you can't like, let your mind just go.

• 1:17:17Speaker 04

  No, no, you can't.

• 1:17:18Bill Maher?

  So you're kinda like anxious all day.

• 1:17:20Speaker 04

  You're like in a, you're like in a coma state. You're just like frozen.

• 1:17:24Bill Maher?

  And then, you know.

• 1:17:25Speaker 04

  Waiting for to be called on to give your best emotions.

• 1:17:28Bill Maher?

  And maybe your best take is not gonna get used because they were on somebody else. Or because there was a plane or something.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  The best take is always off camera when you're doing off camera for somebody. And I've talked to every actor and they all say, Matt Damon, Tom Holland, they all, they all say that your best take is always off camera when you're relaxed. And you go, oh, that's what the fucking scene was. Because you're relaxed, you know, and you're not tense anymore.

• 1:17:53Bill Maher?

  That's what I'm saying. It's a maddening business. If people, you know.

• 1:17:58Speaker 04

  But it's a high, but it's a high when you, when you do get it, you wanna chase that, it's magical, nothing, nothing in life equates to it.

• 1:18:06Bill Maher?

  Absolutely. When you nail it in your clothes up.

• 1:18:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, you know, like, and you feel that in comedy as well, same thing. Yeah.

• 1:18:12Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but comedy, I don't have to remember lines exactly. You know, I don't have to, I'm saying my own line.

• 1:18:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine were all scripted. My one man shows are very written.

• 1:18:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:24Speaker 04

  And I'll improvise a little bit, but most of it is like really structured and yeah, it's a different thing. You're riffing. You're like on a subconscious level. Yeah.

• 1:18:34Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you have a structure, but you can, you know, you can drift from shore knowing you'll come back to shore. But, but this acting shit, I mean, I tell the guy, they set it all up and like, man, the equipment they have these days. It's like so insane from what I remember. You know, like, damn, this camera, like, it looks like that thing in Dune. It's like this giant snake that comes right at you from thirty feet away.

• 1:19:00Speaker 04

  The Jenny, the Jenny and, and the cranes.

• 1:19:02Bill Maher?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:19:03Speaker 04

  Two hundred foot. I just did a Chris Nolan movie, The Odyssey. I had never seen.

• 1:19:08Bill Maher?

  The Odyssey.

• 1:19:09Speaker 04

  Oh, it's incredible.

• 1:19:10Bill Maher?

  Who do you play?

• 1:19:11Speaker 04

  I play Eumaeus, the, the most loyal character in Western literature.

• 1:19:16Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:19:17Speaker 04

  That's how he sold it to me. And.

• 1:19:19Bill Maher?

  Yeah, probably true.

• 1:19:20Speaker 04

  No, it is true.

• 1:19:21Bill Maher?

  Now, that is the cradle of civilization, The Odyssey.

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  For, for, for.

• 1:19:26Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, we're talking about.

• 1:19:27Speaker 04

  Western European literature, yeah.

• 1:19:29Bill Maher?

  Okay, but it's eight hundred B.C.

• 1:19:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, it's incredible. I love, I love The Odyssey. Come on, I love.

• 1:19:35Bill Maher?

  It's amazing. And The Odyssey is just always great.

• 1:19:38Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, it's a great read. It's a great read.

• 1:19:40Bill Maher?

  It's a great read.

• 1:19:40Speaker 04

  I mean, do you remember Jason and the Argonauts?

• 1:19:42Bill Maher?

  Vaguely, yeah.

• 1:19:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, those, those movies were kind of similar based and bad. The sailor.

• 1:19:47Bill Maher?

  Yeah, Jason, he was a Greek mythological character. So like, dear, when you were younger and your kids were younger, would you make certain movies that the kids would like, oh, daddy's in this one? And that was like the.

• 1:20:04Speaker 04

  I did George the Explorer door for them.

• 1:20:06Bill Maher?

  Oh, you for them?

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:08Bill Maher?

  You did it for them?

• 1:20:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, so they could hear my voice, but they didn't really, I don't know if they really liked that. I tried not to work as much, that's for sure. I tried to be home a lot more. Uh, for my kids.

• 1:20:19Bill Maher?

  But what about when you played a bad guy? Cause you have a great range. I mean, I've seen you play really, you know, um.

• 1:20:26Speaker 04

  The bad guys are always the fun, the, the, the funner roles, the most exciting roles. You can really do fun things with that. Yeah, I enjoyed that. I mean, yeah, I tried. When, once you have kids, you do think about your legacy and you do think about what am I putting out into the airwaves? And I tried to play a lot less villains because I just didn't want to put that out there. You know, I mean, I wanted my kids to see me in ways that were more positive, especially being a Latin man. I didn't want to be always a villain because there were so many roles for villain. Dude, when I started out, The Ross Report, do you remember The Ross Report came out every Monday and told you what roles were available? It was like Jim Crow. It'd be like white actor, white lawyer, white doctor.

• 1:21:06Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:07Speaker 04

  White lover.

• 1:21:07Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:21:08Speaker 04

  Latino drug dealer. And, and, and they wouldn't see you for any other role except the drug dealer. So I was like, you know, my chances of making it in this business.

• 1:21:18Bill Maher?

  No, I.

• 1:21:18Speaker 04

  Are gonna be difficult.

• 1:21:19Bill Maher?

  I did a piece on my show a couple of years ago, probably around Oscar time about, and I, you know, I've since become friends with this director Nancy Meyers.

• 1:21:29Speaker 04

  Oh, Nancy Meyers. Yeah, yeah, complicated, really complicated.

• 1:21:32Bill Maher?

  Oh, many, many amazing.

• 1:21:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, a ton of great rom-coms, yeah.

• 1:21:35Bill Maher?

  Um, and you know, we laughed at it when I finally met her because she would turn out to be a big fan and she said, boy, I saw you kind of go after me. I was not going after her. I just used one of her movies as an example to say that for all the people who think they're so liberal, if you look at movies only from 15 years ago, you will see movies that are like so amazingly completely white. And these are made by the biggest liberal.

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, liberals are the biggest liberals.

• 1:22:01Bill Maher?

  We're not talking about 1975.

• 1:22:02Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 1:22:02Bill Maher?

  We're talking about 2010. And you could see lots of movies where they, they, I, I was making jokes about, I said, you know, there, it looks like you would need a, uh, you know, a restraining order.

• 1:22:15Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 1:22:15Bill Maher?

  To get people.

• 1:22:16Speaker 04

  They were so all white. They were all white cast. It was insane.

• 1:22:19Bill Maher?

  And she's not, and she wasn't the only. I could have picked so many different movies from that era.

• 1:22:25Speaker 04

  That was just an example. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:26Bill Maher?

  It was just an example.

• 1:22:26Speaker 04

  You weren't going after.

• 1:22:27Bill Maher?

  All these super liberal people were in her movies. Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep. It was like Steve Mar... It's like these people who were like...

• 1:22:37Speaker 04

  Who are really liberal.

• 1:22:38Bill Maher?

  The liberalist of the liberal, wokest, and I'm like...

• 1:22:41Speaker 04

  But they weren't aware. They weren't aware of the situation.

• 1:22:44Bill Maher?

  It was not that long ago.

• 1:22:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:22:45Bill Maher?

  And you were completely okay to make a movie where, again, there must have been a restraining order.

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  No, I agree with you.

• 1:22:53Bill Maher?

  People of color keep 500 yards from this movie.

• 1:22:57Speaker 04

  Cause it's a white-only movie.

• 1:22:58Bill Maher?

  And it's just like, it's just saying that we all, life moves at the pace it's gonna move. Yes, we should always be trying to move it faster, but it's only gonna move as fast as it's gonna move, even among the people who are supposedly the most enlightened.

• 1:23:14Speaker 04

  Right. No, I, I agree with you. I mean, I, I feel like liberals are trying to do the best they can, but they aren't always aware of what's going on. I mean, they don't, they're not totally aware. And it's our job, activists, to make them aware, to, to bring it into the forefront and to not let people forget the issues. I mean, yeah, that's what we gotta do.

• 1:23:35Bill Maher?

  I'm glad you're out there doing that.

• 1:23:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, I got it.

• 1:23:38Bill Maher?

  And I'm glad, I mean, I'm wrapping up, cause they told me you have to get to a thing, so I know you do.

• 1:23:43Speaker 04

  But what a, what a pleasure, man.

• 1:23:45Bill Maher?

  It was total pleasure.

• 1:23:46Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. It's always, always a blast.

• 1:23:47Bill Maher?

  And I'm so glad that we can like not agree on everything and still be friends.

• 1:23:51Speaker 04

  Exactly. Why do we have to agree?

• 1:23:52Bill Maher?

  You always entertain me so well. I've seen you in a trillion things over the years and it's always like, "Oh, you know, that guy's good. He's just good." You know?

• 1:24:01Speaker 04

  I deliver. I deliver.

• 1:24:02Bill Maher?

  He's entertaining and he does. You deliver.

• 1:24:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, like you do. You, you used to deliver.

• 1:24:06Bill Maher?

  I never phone it in, I'll tell you that.

• 1:24:08Speaker 04

  You got the biggest show in podcasts ever.

• 1:24:12Bill Maher?

  Do I?

• 1:24:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think that's why I'm here.

• 1:24:14Bill Maher?

  I think that's Joe.

• 1:24:15Speaker 04

  That's what I was told by my publicist.

• 1:24:16Bill Maher?

  I think that's Joe Rogan.

• 1:24:18Speaker 04

  No, no, I think you're about to unseat him.

• 1:24:21Bill Maher?

  No, but we're doing good.

• 1:24:23Speaker 04

  You're catching up, baby, come on.

• 1:24:24Bill Maher?

  Let me grab this, because we're gonna do one last thing, and while I do, yes, I'm sorry, and...

• 1:24:30Speaker 04

  What do you get out of this? Is it a raffle?

• 1:24:32Bill Maher?

  No, it looks like that, but before we do, plug, like Guizamo does America.

• 1:24:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I got this MSNBC show on the very liberal network, MSNBC.

• 1:24:43Bill Maher?

  They call it MSDNC at the White House.

• 1:24:46Speaker 04

  Oh, they do?

• 1:24:48Speaker 04

  That's fucked up. But this show is, I go around America looking for Latin excellence, Latin exceptionalism, genius, and I go to six different cities every season, and this time I went to Philadelphia, Denver, San Antonio, Phoenix, and Raleigh.

• 1:25:08Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 1:25:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then I meet all these great Latino activists, Latino politicians, chefs, artists, actors, yeah, and we sit down and we talk, like you.

• 1:25:18Bill Maher?

  When does this start?

• 1:25:19Speaker 04

  This starts July 6th.

• 1:25:21Bill Maher?

  July 6th, perfect timing.

• 1:25:22Speaker 04

  What a pleasure, Bill. Thank you, Brad, in your mansion.

• 1:25:26Bill Maher?

  Not a mansion, just a piece of land.

• 1:25:35Speaker 04

  You know how long it took me to walk here? It was like, it was like a 15-minute walk from the entrance. It was.

• 1:25:43Bill Maher?

  That's what we like about California.

• 1:25:52Speaker 01

  It's getting chilly outside, but you know what that means?

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  It's time to cozy up with Panera Bread. Let's get toasty, cheesy. Oh, hello, broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl. How about melty? Okay, Chipotle chicken avo melt. It's dipping bread and soupy goodness season. Oh yeah, we are so back. It's Panera season. Order now.

• 1:26:21Bill Maher?

  Honey, that flu keeping you up? Did you take Nyquil Intense Flu?

• 1:26:25Speaker 05

  Nah, I got this. Mmm, okay, I don't got this.

• 1:26:31Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you need Nyquil Intense Flu.

• 1:26:33Speaker 06

  Undo your flu with Nyquil Intense Flu. Nyquil Intense Flu provides powerful relief of your flu symptoms so you can sleep.

• 1:26:42Bill Maher?

  You do got this.

• 1:26:43Speaker 06

  Nyquil Intense Flu. The nighttime sniffling, aching, aching fever, best sleep with the flu medicine. Use as directed, keep out of reach of children.

• 1:26:50Speaker 02

  Para los grandes, para los chicos, para los bajos y los altos. Los pacifistas, los valientes. Para los optimistas y los pesimistas. Los que valoran lo de adentro. Para los que están lejos, los que no ven de lejos, y los que no ven de cerca. Para los introvertidos y los extrovertidos. Para los que piensan y los que hacen. Para los que nos mostraron el camino. Coca-Cola. Para todos.