The Millennial Midlife Crisis

This episode is for millennials (or anyone!) wondering (*cue Billie Eilish*) What Was I Made For? We’re discussing hitting the point in your life where you start assessing/reflecting/questioning, and why millennials are being hit so hard with this. We talk about the state of the world, the work force, the revolt against Girl Bossing, the “caregiving squeeze,” and why it can be so painful to not have the partner and/or family you had hoped for. BUT it’s not a doomsday discussion – we talk about how to live your best life even if it’s not the one you envisioned and share all the ways our listeners are handling their midlife crises from mahjong to Marlboros. Before we get into the discussion, we talk about Rayna moving to New York, how Ashley is feeling, and share all our thoughts on life in LA vs. NYC. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Liquid IV: Get 20% off your first order at https://liquidiv.com with code GGE. Aura Frames: Get $35 off select frames at https://auraframes.com with code GGE. FP Movement: Go to http://fpmovement.com/ to shop their full line of activewear and workout gear. WhatNot: Download the app and score amazing deals plus free shipping on your first order. NOCD: If you’re struggling with OCD book a free 15-minute call at https://learn.nocd.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  If you are really at a rock bottom, you really feel like you have nothing to lose, no better time to take a big swing, no better time to pivot, fuck it.

• 0:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  This podcast is a Dear Media production.

• 0:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

• 0:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Welcome back. How are we feeling?

• 0:34Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm so tired. I'm so sleepy.

• 0:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Don't start, don't start on this.

• 0:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you think it's contagious? No, you know, I can't be, I don't, my office hours are over at four.

• 0:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  We always say you're sundowning and I feel like this is like, we need to treat this topic with care and respect today.

• 0:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I respect it, but it's 3:34 and my time to, my, my time to be done is four.

• 0:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, you guys, you got 20 minutes.

• 0:54Rayna Greenberg?

  You tried to start work last night at 9:30 and I was like, oh no, I don't have the energy.

• 0:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I caught something that needed to be restructured.

• 1:02Rayna Greenberg?

  And I was like, I will do this at six in the morning. The texts kept coming and I was like, I know she's right and I have to go to sleep. Like, you know, I'm always like, she's, she's working, so I should be working, but more importantly, I would like to be asleep.

• 1:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  So it was to prepare for an episode last night that I didn't really want to do last night on a Sunday night, but I had to wake up this morning, Monday morning, as we record and take us over to the vet at 9:00 a.m. He's fine. He has this thing on his ear, which he had to get like little needle prick and send it off and he has to get meds.

• 1:34Rayna Greenberg?

  We all need a little prick sometimes.

• 1:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I had to, yeah, exactly. And I just didn't have the morning to prep. So last night, like Shashank was like, do you want to, what do you want to watch? Should we cook dinner? And I was like, I have to like do this shit and like prep for an episode.

• 1:47Rayna Greenberg?

  It's crazy. You don't look at your husband and just think playtime. I was like, she is.

• 1:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Three years in.

• 1:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, but like, of course. You mean like, time to fuck?

• 1:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Just time to hang. I was like, she's working.

• 2:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  We hung all weekend.

• 2:01Rayna Greenberg?

  You did have a long hang weekend.

• 2:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  This-

• 2:03Rayna Greenberg?

  You did a lot.

• 2:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  We didn't hang out with anybody but each other this weekend.

• 2:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, that's how my life is all the time. Just by myself.

• 2:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, you're just right next to anything going on, you guys. I don't know if you could tell, she's just alone at home here in LA all the time. You're like, literally never here. We have a long distance friendship.

• 2:20Rayna Greenberg?

  I've never, I haven't had a minute to myself since I got back. Finally, everyone's out of my house.

• 2:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  But we did film some content yesterday. And we had fun with it. But I'll just take a minute while we're here. So Shashank created an app called Kitchen Sync. It's so incredible. It's such a game changer. It generates recipes. So you just put in what you have or don't have in your kitchen and it will generate ingredient lists and recipes and three different recipes, basic, classic, and creative. And there's so many features in the premium.

• 2:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Any single recipe you find online, Instagram, blog, Facebook, TikTok, you can import it directly into the app. It's just so much fun. And we've talked about this before, but you guys are new around here. Kitchen Sync recipe builder, you can find in the App Store and now on Android. That's what I wanted to plug because people were like, where is it on Android? And it's available now. There's voice commands. Like, he has built so many cool things in this app. So check it out, you guys. And I help with some parts of it and I see some of the Instagram messages and people just saying like, I'm a busy mom and this has helped me so much. And like, I have anxiety about what to cook for dinner and this has helped and everything.

• 3:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Now they get to watch videos of Shashank making it.

• 3:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  But so the stuff that performs the best on the social is him cooking. And he has done some without me, but when I'm involved, I'm, I like direct and I work on the lighting and the sound and everything.

• 3:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Are you in any of the videos? Do you blow in?

• 3:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  So yesterday was my first appearance.

• 3:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 3:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  So he basically was gonna make these things, this like rice paper bacon, egg and cheese. And he was like, and Ashley's gonna help. And you guys go watch it. It's on kitchen sink app is the Instagram and then it pans to me. And did you not watch it?

• 3:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, you guys are an influencer couple.

• 3:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  But it's, it was very funny. I'm like in my red light scrolling.

• 4:01Rayna Greenberg?

  But is this the only time?

• 4:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I haven't been in his cooking videos.

• 4:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I didn't think so.

• 4:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm letting him cook, literally.

• 4:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Letting him cook, literally. I mean, I think it's just so nice. He wants to be on the videos too. That's not for everybody.

• 4:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  He doesn't.

• 4:12Rayna Greenberg?

  He actually doesn't. He just spins his wedding ring and he was like, hi. He loves spinning that wedding ring.

• 4:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  But he's really eloquent and well spoken and he looks great on camera, but he hates to do it. Just want to tell you guys, we are at no risk of him becoming an influencer. But it was fun to spend a few hours doing that, but it really made me think that some couples do it all the time and I respect it. I mean, we had John and Alex on a few years ago. They're full time influencer couple. Kate and Chad do a lot together and I love their content, but I don't know if I could live that life. I think about it sometimes, like, could you live that life where your relationship is your business and you get to do whatever you want? You get to travel the world, but you have to like work together and create content. And I, it's just not for everybody. And for the people that it works for, I think it's really wonderful.

• 5:00Rayna Greenberg?

  I guess I have no judgment about it at all. I think if that's how you like make your back and people love to see you guys together on the internet, then like you should do that.

• 5:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 5:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, in my dream world, when I'm on vacation with my partner, I'm not setting up a camera to make content and film these special moments. Like that is truly my time off. And you and I are on camera all week, every week also. So like when we're away, like that's nice for me to not have to do that. But if that's what's fun for you guys and it's easy and it's second nature and you just bang it out. I mean, Kate Steinberg and her fiance were on our show a few months ago. And like, I think it's so second nature for them to do that now. It doesn't, it would take me all day.

• 5:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. But also if you're on a free trip, like our trip to Singapore, like if you're on a brand trip that you wouldn't go on otherwise, you're like, I'll figure out how to make it work.

• 5:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, I film everything I do anyways.

• 5:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 5:49Rayna Greenberg?

  It's just about editing the, editing a reel together.

• 5:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. But I was thinking yesterday, I was like, I could do this with him once a week. I don't know about every day.

• 5:56Rayna Greenberg?

  A three hour cooking video?

• 5:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, we had fun.

• 5:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 5:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  And he edits and I get in there and I tweak and we like collaborate on it. But like, I don't know, it's still fun. It's not, this is our job.

• 6:06Rayna Greenberg?

  It's not your job. Yeah.

• 6:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. But what we want to do right now, have you seen these, these TikTok trends where you say something in four different tones?

• 6:13Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 6:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Have you not seen it?

• 6:15Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 6:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Enthusiastic, sarcastic,

• 6:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Am I missing?

• 6:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  flirty or supportive or something?

• 6:20Rayna Greenberg?

  It's one sentence?

• 6:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So the first one I saw said, sit down. And it was white mom, black mom, Indian mom, Hispanic mom. Which that was these three black women that did it was like, so people have taken that. And the latest one, which I asked to saw Lena Dunham do, which I think Shashank and I are going to do, is you shaved your bush and you say it supportive.

• 6:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Sarcastic?

• 6:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Supportive, disappointed, sarcastic, flirty.

• 6:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  You haven't seen these?

• 6:47Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 6:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  We didn't do one.

• 6:48Rayna Greenberg?

  God damn it. Always sad when I don't see a TikTok trend. It's so sad for me and I try to explain to you a TikTok trend. You haven't seen it. Last summer, my sister in law didn't know I'm a mommy. And I was like, are you on the internet?

• 6:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  That is so wild. So I just want to circle back. It started with wow, okay. So wow, okay. Supportive, disappointed, sarcastic, flirty.

• 7:09Rayna Greenberg?

  That's so funny.

• 7:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then I saw this couple do get the fuck out in all the different ways.

• 7:16Rayna Greenberg?

  How would you say flirty?

• 7:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  The fuck out.

• 7:19Rayna Greenberg?

  I used to touch her hair. Okay.

• 7:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I'm just like the two.

• 7:21Rayna Greenberg?

  It's body language.

• 7:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Get the fuck out of here. Like you can imagine saying that to someone.

• 7:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Get the fuck out.

• 7:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Get the fuck out. And you watch like these three people or two people do it, however many I've seen, like three max. I don't think I've seen four people do it. You watch them, like there's an actor in the group and like those three moms that did this.

• 7:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Who do you think is going to be marked talented between you two?

• 7:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think Shashank's gonna come out swinging and like surprise everybody.

• 7:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Really? You don't think it's gonna be you?

• 7:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  I just think girls, you know?

• 7:45Rayna Greenberg?

  I think I'm gonna overthink it. I believe in you.

• 7:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Anyway, okay. Well, I'm going to show you some of my faves.

• 7:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 7:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you can.

• 7:51Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm excited to see it.

• 7:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Well, let's just thank our partners and we will get into it.

• 7:55Rayna Greenberg?

  All right. Thanks to Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order at liquidiv.com with code GGE. And Aura Frames get $35 off select frames at auraframes.com with code GGE. And FP Movement, go to fpmovement.com to shop their full line of activewear and workout gear.

• 8:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you to Whatnot. Download the app and score amazing deals plus free shipping on your first order. And thank you to NoCD. If you're struggling with OCD, book a free 15 minute call at learn.noCD.com/GGE.

• 8:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I should say something funny.

• 8:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 8:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I had.

• 8:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  What, you just fart and sneeze at the same time?

• 8:27Rayna Greenberg?

  No, that's never happened to me. And.

• 8:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  You just, it just happened. You can't prove it. I bet we have one of the cameras running. I'm gonna find the, I'm gonna find the receipt that Raina just, Raina, that was a jumpscare.

• 8:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Actually, I don't put you on blast for how gross you are.

• 8:47Rayna Greenberg?

  No, because like, I think that was brave that I told you that, okay? You didn't hear it.

• 8:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  I've nev, I didn't hear it. You didn't have to tell me.

• 8:54Rayna Greenberg?

  You didn't have to tell everybody.

• 8:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Listen, I want to talk about this because I really, like when we-

• 9:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Have never heard me fart.

• 9:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Never?

• 9:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 9:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  But people are in this like, what? It's just a bodily function camp. And I'm like, yeah, do you fart in front of your friends? Be honest.

• 9:12Rayna Greenberg?

  I never, I don't do that. That was an extreme scenario. I sneezed at the same time.

• 9:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Look, it's allergy season. Okay, what are you gonna tell me?

• 9:22Rayna Greenberg?

  I had a crazy celebrity sighting yesterday, like insane.

• 9:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  What?

• 9:26Rayna Greenberg?

  What's like one of the craziest celebs you think you could see? It's a woman and she's like a real A-lister.

• 9:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Nicole?

• 9:33Rayna Greenberg?

  That level.

• 9:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Anne?

• 9:36Rayna Greenberg?

  No. I'll give you one more guess and then I'll just-

• 9:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Actor?

• 9:38Rayna Greenberg?

  It's hard to narrow it down, I know, but it is, it's an actress.

• 9:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not Goldie.

• 9:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Han?

• 9:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I s-

• 9:45Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 9:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, I saw her one time.

• 9:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Kate Hudson? Kate, Goldie's daughter? Kate and Goldie's- She's blonde.

• 9:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, one more, one more. Connie Britton, I'm kidding, imagine, we've seen her so many times.

• 9:55Rayna Greenberg?

  We see her all the time.

• 9:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Blonde, Meryl Streep?

• 9:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Younger.

• 9:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I thought I had it.

• 10:00Rayna Greenberg?

  She's around our age, she's a little bit younger than us.

• 10:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  A Fanning?

• 10:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Older than a Fanning.

• 10:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Fanning, not Kate. Who else is there? Give me a clue. I like this.

• 10:10Rayna Greenberg?

  She's in some of my, actually, two of my favorite movies. She was cast as the most beautiful woman that there is.

• 10:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hi Barbie. Oh, Margot Robbie?

• 10:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I was sitting at, what did Crudo Enudo yesterday?

• 10:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  But one of the best restaurants in LA.

• 10:28Rayna Greenberg?

  It's on the street and it's Dogtown or Dogtown.

• 10:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's on Main Street, in Santa Monica. Unbelievable, one of the favorite meals I've had here.

• 10:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Me too. And they don't really have a menu, they just on a chalkboard, they're like, this is the fish we do today.

• 10:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Good night.

• 10:38Rayna Greenberg?

  And natty wine, just, I'll be there. We sat outside and we were like a two top and Melanie, there's a girl sitting next to us in all black, like a black sundress, a black bucket hat. This guy comes up to the table and sits down with them and the waitress like bypasses us and just goes right up to that guy and is, she's like, what can I get you tonight? And I was like, these fucking people, why do they get waited on before us?

• 10:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Uh huh.

• 10:58Rayna Greenberg?

  And Melanie goes, oh my God, that's Margot Robbie. And she's sitting at the table like next to us. And I'm like, oh my, I don't, I'm so uncomfortable. Like, that's like a level of star, Wuthering Heights, Wolf of Wall Street, Barbie, like, these are my favorite movies.

• 11:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, that's huge.

• 11:16Rayna Greenberg?

  She's there with her husband and her child, they're sitting next to us, just on the street on a Sunday afternoon. And I'm trying to have a normal experience. Like, I don't know how to have a normal experience, sit next to her. Margot Robbie's voice, she's coming out of Margot Robbie's body. Yes. And Melanie's, I hear her, she's talking about movies and different things she's doing. And like, Melanie cannot make eye contact with me. She is just staring at Margot Robbie. I'm like, can you please stop this? I'm trying to just talk to her like a normal person. She will not talk back to me. She's like, she's talking about movies, she's gonna be in. And I was like, she's looking at you in the face, she can hear you.

• 11:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm eavesdropping. Raina, first of all, why were you trying to talk when you could be eavesdropping on Margot Robbie? This is on you.

• 11:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, this, okay.

• 11:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Can you imagine being an earshot of someone like that? I'm, you better not fucking speak to me. Raina, you're being so annoying.

• 12:01Rayna Greenberg?

  She was just looking directly at Margot Robbie's face, being like, she's talking about movies right now. And I was like,

• 12:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm eating very quietly and I'm listening, I'm sorry.

• 12:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm with you. It's just, it was, she was so close to me, it was so uncomfortable. I mean, these tables are inches apart.

• 12:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is crazy, you were trying to have a normal conversation. I was, I went team Melanie.

• 12:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I didn't know what to do. So then I started taking photos.

• 12:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Melanie's like, you're being so awkward. You're making this so weird. I'm like, oh, I'm making this weird?

• 12:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, you guys are just like daytime hours.

• 12:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Daytime, just middle of the day. Well, it's light out until like 3:00 now.

• 12:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 12:35Rayna Greenberg?

  She's so beautiful. She was so lovely to the staff and her husband's so, her husband's hot, her kid's cute.

• 12:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Who's her husband?

• 12:42Rayna Greenberg?

  I think he's just a director.

• 12:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 12:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't think I've ever sat next to somebody with that level of star power.

• 12:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, no, no, no. I just certainly haven't. We had a star sighting recently that was so random. We had Kelly Rizzo on the podcast.

• 12:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 12:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  A couple of weeks ago, a month probably ago at this point. May just fucking flew by.

• 12:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Weird.

• 13:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  I knew that was gonna happen. May 1st, I was like, it's gonna be June 1st tomorrow.

• 13:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, but every May, we heard, I did 15 live shows in May. We're never here in May.

• 13:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  It just, it flew by. The next night, we went to the Benjamin and they just treated us so well. It's our favorite place, whatever. And as soon as we walked in, Shashank clocked Lori Loughlin at the bar.

• 13:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, you did tell me this.

• 13:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's really good. I just don't, I've never had a sense for it. That night, we ate across from Goldie Hawn. What is it? The really romantic place in Santa Monica?

• 13:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Not Georgio Badi, Muse.

• 13:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Muse, yes. Like, the table next to us was like, that's Goldie Hawn. Like, I'm just so bad about it. It's not on my radar. I can't believe we live in LA and celebrities just aren't on my radar.

• 13:34Rayna Greenberg?

  It was not on my radar at all.

• 13:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  But Lori Loughlin, I mean, so stunning, unbelievably beautiful. And like, where I sat, I got to have a direct line of vision. Everybody was being so cool. It was very obvious to me what she was. And when she got up to leave, people were all like, you know, said little, little things. And it was just so funny that we just recorded with Kelly Rizzo. And then a week or two later, it was Bob Saget's birthday and Kelly was with her. And I was like, I just saw her. And you know who we never talked about, huge celebrity? It was when we got burritos and what?

• 14:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Elijah Wood.

• 14:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Elijah Wood. That's major.

• 14:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. I like a celebrity sighting. They're near us. Like Elijah Wood was with his kids and his wife and they're in line. To sit next to Margot Robbie was like physically uncomfortable. I was just like, the star power is so big. I'm such a huge fan. I-

• 14:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't believe she was like, one of our favorite, like, local restaurants. That's one of, that's in our neighborhood.

• 14:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, just there, just being so beautiful. And you're like, I mean, her- Work is my, some of my favorite movies of all time. Like, do you say it to them? Like, I, I was just like, who gets to have a normal conversation next to her?

• 14:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so crazy. The Elijah Wood thing was wild because he had to wait in that taco line like everybody else. He was certainly, he, he rolled up in a pretty normal car. Well, that's why we didn't really think it was him, cause the car.

• 14:50Rayna Greenberg?

  The smoking gun was the car.

• 14:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then he just waited in line, like with his family. And we, I had to Google his wife to confirm it was him. And there he was, waiting in line, waiting in line for 20 minutes for tacos.

• 15:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Like a normal place?

• 15:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just like everybody else.

• 15:02Rayna Greenberg?

  What was that taco place called? Sonora.

• 15:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, Sonora, Sonora Town.

• 15:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Unbelievable, fair enough.

• 15:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  I feel like you're unlocking a memory where I sat next to someone famous. I would have told you about it.

• 15:11Rayna Greenberg?

  You told me about Lori Loughlin. The only other really famous person I've ever sat next to was Jonah Hill at a restaurant. And he was like really rude to me.

• 15:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, no.

• 15:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I said hi to him and he just started mocking me. It was crazy.

• 15:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 15:21Rayna Greenberg?

  This was like 15 years ago.

• 15:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  I, I once was at a bar with him and we played ping pong.

• 15:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, you also had a Jonah Hill experience. Okay, great. Well, that balances it out. I don't know. I just, I don't, I don't think I want to be that close to a celebrity. I don't think I'm like capable of functioning. Like, I'm fine if they're in the room, kind of, but like that level, I don't, it makes me unable to function. Cause like, to your point, how am I supposed to have a normal conversation around her? I'm just supposed to talk about what, all the bags I just took to Goodwill? Like, I.

• 15:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're not. You guys just listen quiet. But that patio was silent.

• 15:51Rayna Greenberg?

  It was.

• 15:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Was it? Like, people, like, trying to just respect?

• 15:56Rayna Greenberg?

  You just don't. I mean, that street is just like bar after bar after restaurant. There was a million people on the street. Like, you don't see a lot of big celebrities over there ever, cause it's just too many people.

• 16:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. It's like by Jameson. Like, that's just, she's eating on the street. Mark Raby's, you guys, she's eating like it's COVID on the street.

• 16:12Rayna Greenberg?

  On the street. Just her baby and her husband out in the world.

• 16:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, let me tell you what happened to us the other night at dinner. We went to Yamashiro, which is like a famous place. You know about it?

• 16:23Rayna Greenberg?

  You sound like you're just short-circuiting.

• 16:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I said, I kept saying Yashimiro and Shoshak was like, it's Yamashiro. I got him like inverted. It's like so stunning. It's up in the hills. It's, oh, do you not know it? It's, it's great. I mean, the food's overpriced. The food was great, but it is overpriced. You're paying for this view. It's an insane place. Like, you go. Up the hill, you're overlooking, you see the Hollywood sign, you're overlooking all of LA. It's like an institution. It's been around forever and it's like a thing. It's really hard to get a rez. I had the rez for like three weeks now at this point. And so we went a whole operation. Touristy, valet is kind of a nightmare. Like you have to valet, it's up in the hills, but it's like really worth it for the view. And there's like a ledge that you're seated on that is like insane to sit there.

• 17:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like I requested it and then we were able to sit like outside, but not on the ledge. Like there were people waiting hours for these tables. I was like, fine. So we sat outside right feet away, but the couple sitting by the ledge across like the little walkway from us. I mean, the moon was between the two of them. It was insane. Like their view was absolutely insane. So they wanted pictures. Obviously they're taking so many pictures, they like couldn't stop. So then they come over to me, Shashank was at the bathroom and they were like, do you mind taking a photo for me? And I was like, oh my God, I would love to. She an Android. They take better photos. I love it. I love taking a photo on an Android. They've had better photo capabilities for years now. Anyway, so take the photo. I'm like nailed it. Nailed it. Get three options, gave it back to them. Shashank comes back from the bathroom. I was like, I took pictures for that couple. Like they were just like so nice, whatever.

• 17:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  The server comes by and the server's taking photos of them. They had to do a redo.

• 17:57Rayna Greenberg?

  In front of your face.

• 17:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thing I know, in front of my face, the server is backing up to our table. Excuse me, excuse me, do you mind? The server is basically sitting on Shashank's lap to take a photo of this couple.

• 18:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, I am gonna say I, I really like do not understand this because no one can take my photos besides you. I will have like a meltdown on vacation if I hand somebody my phone and there's 15 feet of ground. Like we have had, we've been on other trips where like I've asked actual influencers to take photos of me and they'll take 30 photos and they're all bad. And I'm like, I'd have to say to their face, I'm just gonna have Ashley take this, like.

• 18:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. And Raina, trust the framing was perfect. I'm gonna give this woman the benefit of the doubt that she didn't like the way she looked.

• 18:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm gonna victim blame on this one. This was her face and not your photo taking ability. I've literally had to say to people to their faces, I hate what you did.

• 18:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm amazing. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's been a whole journey of our friendship where I have to step in and people feel bad. And Raina's who I maintain, so I'm like, no, you're just not as good as me.

• 18:50Rayna Greenberg?

  You're just bad.

• 18:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I'm here, I'm site. Or they wanted to do it a little later in the phase of the moon, whatever the fuck. But I was like, I, Raina, I'm sorry, if I had asked someone to get up and take a photo of us and then it wasn't good enough for whatever reason, and then I asked the server, I would say something.

• 19:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I would say, I'm so sorry.

• 19:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm so sorry. I look so bad.

• 19:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I look so ugly in this photo. I would totally acknowledge it.

• 19:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Cause she's five feet away.

• 19:15Rayna Greenberg?

  Some people in LA don't really have a sense of humor and they won't say stuff like that to you.

• 19:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Very few locals up in there. It felt so touristy, but anyway, I still recommend. But I just thought that was a funny thing that happened. And then we just had to sit there.

• 19:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Right. You just have to sit there knowing that they're at, that they hate your work, that they don't like the art.

• 19:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  I could not help myself. I would be the most awkward person on the planet being like yelling across, I'm so sorry. It has nothing to do with you. I just like hated the way I looked. I didn't want to bother you again.

• 19:41Rayna Greenberg?

  I probably would just sit there and pout and not, I was either waiting for you guys to leave or I just would have like dealt with the consequences of my actions. Like, I don't know if I had the balls to do something like that.

• 19:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you know what else? Whenever I take photos of people, friends or strangers.

• 19:54Rayna Greenberg?

  You say, check if you like it.

• 19:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Check if you like it, cause I'm up. My man's in the bathroom. I'm up.

• 19:59Rayna Greenberg?

  You've already disturbed me.

• 20:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  No servers are trying to get through at the moment. I have time. I love to do it.

• 20:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally. These people fucked up.

• 20:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 20:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, a bunch of times at this wedding we were at, somebody else took the photo, a couple of photos of me solo. Multiple times. Right before we went out to dinner the first night, right after the wedding ceremony, I was like, don't even, don't intervene here. Ashley will do this.

• 20:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's just crazy. Like we've talked to this before, like.

• 20:22Rayna Greenberg?

  People will zoom in, they'll zoom out, they'll put portrait on. I didn't ask you to do that.

• 20:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's crazy.

• 20:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Just use the camera the way I've handed it to you.

• 20:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Why is the bottom third the ground?

• 20:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't understand it.

• 20:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  What, like, I don't understand. Do you have eyes?

• 20:33Rayna Greenberg?

  But that's at least somebody that's stupid at like framing. It's like, you don't need to change the camera settings. I got this. When somebody puts me on point five and I have not asked them to, why do I look like this? I look ridiculous.

• 20:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. It's really so crazy.

• 20:45Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm not small enough. I think you just, did you call me fat?

• 20:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was so funny. We were in Dewey a couple of weeks ago, me and like my girlfriends, and Matt was trying to get a photo of us and he could not. He's too tall. It looks like it's an up angle, like you used to do in like what, to skinny angle and like the early 2000s. Thousands, like it's like a millennial angle, honestly.

• 21:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Looks like a bobble head.

• 21:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  And so he tried, I was like, Matt, hold it at your chest. Like, hold it at six feet, not six, seven. Six, seven. It's just crazy. And like, finally, the hostess came over and was like, do you want me to do this? Poor Matt, he wasn't doing anything wrong. It just, he couldn't get the angle right, being that tall.

• 21:22Rayna Greenberg?

  No, have you ever seen Jeremy take a photo of me? He like, he like hunches down. It looks crazy.

• 21:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Jeremy's laying on the ground.

• 21:27Rayna Greenberg?

  He can't take a photo of me from a normal angle. He's six, four.

• 21:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I know. It's tough. It's so tough to be a tall man.

• 21:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, my gosh, so awful.

• 21:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, we're just gonna take a quick break and then we have some big news for you guys. But I am gonna tell you about NoCD. So everyone has doubts or anxieties. We're gonna talk about doubts and anxieties today. But everyone has doubts or anxieties about their relationship from time to time. But for some people, those thoughts and anxieties feel all consuming and impossible to move on from. And these symptoms can look like creating mental lists of your partner's pros and cons while panicking about whether you made the wrong choice, constantly researching signs you're with the right person online, having a random dream about spending your life with another person, and feeling guilty and terrified about what that might mean. And asking your partner over and over again if they're really happy with you, even though they already said yes many times. So just kind of obsessing over those answers and that type of validation. So this can be relationship OCD.

• 22:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  And they can seem like overthinking or just commitment issues, but they actually can be signs of relationship OCD. And it is a serious condition where these intrusive thoughts get stuck on repeat. But it is really treatable. It is the most treatable mental health condition when you get the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs ERP therapy, which is exposure and response prevention, which has proven to be the most effective treatment. Regular talk therapy is not recommended. It can actually make OCD worse. So that is why we recommend NoCD. NoCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider. And all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, which is that exposure and response prevention. So you can get 100% virtual therapy, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans, and includes support between sessions, so you never have to face OCD alone.

• 23:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  If any of this sounds like you or someone you care about, visit nocd.com and book a free 15-minute call with their team to learn more about how NoCD can help. That's N-O-C-D dot com.

• 23:11Rayna Greenberg?

  And I'm telling you guys about FP Movement. So this is a brand that came out of Free People and I love Free People so much and it's like no shock that their activewear brand is unbelievable. So FP Movement, you know, I think a lot about how to look put together in the summer because you're just kind of sweatier and there's like just your wear less clothing. So there's like less things to put on to look really like coordinated. And like FP Movement, like I just, I love their sets and you always look cute like at an airport or running errands, you're just walking around the city and Ashley and I are obsessed with the Hot Shot crossover set. And I've bought so many of their sets and when I find one that I love, I buy it in every color too. They also have great these coastline hiking shorts, these carpet DM shorts. I mean, if you just want like really cute, stylish, of the season essentials, they have all of

• 23:54Rayna Greenberg?

  that and the material's great. It's high end. There's so much to choose from.

• 23:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  The best bike shorts or workout shorts, like tight span neck shorts, whatever you guys want to call them. I'm obsessed. They make the best I've ever found. I've worn like every single brand. I just love a short like that. And we love their bags. I just, they're comfy. I bought it as a carry on recently when I traveled and again, it's just like fun with these tanks, the t-shirts. Just love the whole look.

• 24:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. So this activewear brand, I mean, we just absolutely love it. We love it for summer. We love it for every season, but really for summer. And you can shop the full line of activewear workout gear at fpmovement.com/gge.

• 24:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so let's talk about something major.

• 24:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, I'm excited to announce I am moving back to New York. I have teased this a lot.

• 24:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Shocker, yeah.

• 24:36Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I've basically been like pretty as much as bi-coastal as any can be since like August. I run off there anytime I, anytime I can. And so I signed a lease. I signed a lease actually at this really like crazy moment in my life because at the beginning of the year when we do our years episode, I said my only goals for the year were to do this tour and to move back to New York. And the morning of my last show of the first leg of this tour in Pittsburgh, I signed my lease. And so they coincided, which is crazy.

• 25:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's really so, so special.

• 25:04Rayna Greenberg?

  And I am just, I'm so proud of the tour. And so I'll be moving back to New York. And I lived there for 15 years and I lived in LA for three and a half years and

• 25:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 25:12Rayna Greenberg?

  That we've lived here for so long?

• 25:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  It feels crazy to me. Like I can't believe we've been here three and a half years.

• 25:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't, where did the time go?

• 25:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was supposed to be three months.

• 25:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Where did the time go? And LA served a really special place in my life and I'm not leaving LA because I don't love LA. I love so much about LA and especially now that I'm leaving, I feel even more nostalgic about it. Like I spent all weekend being like, the weather and the air and the flowers and the people and the food and like, I love this city so much and it's not a rejection of this city. It's just that like, my best friends in the world, my community, my family, besides you and Shashank are there. And you and I had this really big community of friends in LA for a long time and a lot of people just started to leave and move and you know, there's a lot of reasons why I want to move back. You and I are just from the East Coast. I'd really miss it. My family is on the East Coast and I don't really want to date in LA and I'm

• 26:03Rayna Greenberg?

  single and I think about being like 40 and single and what city can you live in where there's a large community of people that are 40 and single? And LA is, it can be really lonely and really isolating and I do feel that most of my social circle is me and a bunch of couples. I'm always out with a bunch of couples and I love our friends' partners, but I don't really want to socialize like that all the time. I don't want to feel like I never have like a one-on-one interaction with a girlfriend. And that is, I think in New York, there's a lot of people in their 40s that are single and I want that, I want to be around that.

• 26:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  50s, single, like it just doesn't, you never lose, I don't think you ever can't find that community.

• 26:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. And there's a lot of giving up. Listen, I love the space here and I love the weather and I love the ease of life and I bought this house and it's the thing I've been so proud of in my life and I put all this money into renovating it and I don't know, I don't want to say I made a mistake because I made a decision that honored where I was at in my time in my life then, but I just, I feel like every fiber of my being like called back to New York.

• 26:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 26:57Rayna Greenberg?

  And you know, I think people are just like, well, what does that mean for your friendship and what does that mean for the podcast? And I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would have moved a year ago. Like you're the thing that anchors me here, you're my family, you're the closest relationship in my life. So it's a hard decision without you, you know, and you can't stay in one place for one person forever. And you and I are always back and forth to New York. And it just, it feels like my home and that's where I feel like really called to be right now. And so that's it. I mean, that's, those are all my thoughts and feelings about it. I never thought I'd move back there necessarily. When we moved here, I was like-

• 27:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh my god, you really rejected it.

• 27:32Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, I don't want to be in New York. I mean, I needed like, I really needed a break. I feel like you and I were touring so much and it made me feel so happy to like land here.

• 27:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 27:40Rayna Greenberg?

  And New York's a hard life. It's bad weather. It's a harder life all around and it is so expensive. It's unfathomable. The spaces are small. It's cold. It's hard to do everything. It's more expensive. The Ubers are more expensive, you know? And I don't know, I could always change my mind in a year and a half. I hope I don't. But this is where I feel that I want to be in my life right now and you're the hardest thing. You're the only thing that's hard to leave, but I'm really excited.

• 28:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I'm excited for you. The place is gorgeous and you know, it's a neighborhood you want to be in and you know, we have made these decisions together over the past eight plus years. So like, I don't know, like I don't, I didn't know how I was gonna like react talking about this on the podcast. Like it's been like a little destabilizing, like for like Raina to move away and like to have to figure out what the podcast looks like. And we have said, not that it's going anywhere, you guys, like literally what it looks like. Literally if it's in person, virtual, it's never, nothing's gonna change in terms of, but the set might change or whatever. A few episodes here and there might be virtual, whatever. Like we want to do this the best we can. It like really is our priority. It's our, it's our career.

• 28:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  But we kind of decided, I don't know, I don't know the first time we had this conversation, that like if someone wanted to move or be somewhere else, that they could do that. And like, we really probably wouldn't have said that to each other, year three, year four, year five. I mean, you know, we want to be together. We're not just business partners, but we're best friends and we're like family. And of course, we want to be in the same city for so many reasons, for all the reasons. But if someone wants to make a change, like they can do that, you know? It was never really that I was gonna go live in Boston, but like if I decided I wanted to, Raina would have understood and we would have figured it out. And I think we just hit this point where like, we've been doing this so long,

• 29:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  we can't be tethered to somewhere where someone isn't 100% happy because of a podcast that we can do from afar. You know, I've had friends that have said to me like, you can't stay somewhere just-

• 29:36Rayna Greenberg?

  For a job and it's like, this is not a job.

• 29:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 29:38Rayna Greenberg?

  The most important thing in my life. This is our company. This, this audience is the most important thing. It's the thing I'll be the most proud of in my entire life. And there's nobody I'll ever know better than you in my entire life. And I, I would never make decisions without you. You have another person to think about also, you know? I can't make decisions for Shashank and vice versa. I don't know. It's been, it's been really hard and I, if I didn't feel so lonely, if I didn't feel just lonely all the time, it would be different.

• 30:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I hate to hear you say that. I hope people don't interpret that as like you and I don't like to spend time together and do stuff.

• 30:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh.

• 30:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I mean, I want to validate your experience and Raina and I, of course, do, we hang out almost every day. Like we do plenty of things like solo, but like the group stuff is, is like mostly all couples. And when she has said, I don't have one single friend left, like one single girlfriend. She's not exaggerating, you know? It really, it really turned into that. And like when, and Brittany wasn't the single, but like she was long distance. You know, she was here and available to hang. And then when she left, it was like the final nail in the coffin. Like we truly have like no one left and we can, of course, you can always make new friends, but we have a million friends. Like I can barely keep up with all my friends. They just stopped being here.

• 30:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Wait, let me rewind something. I don't feel lonely because of you. That's not.

• 30:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 30:59Rayna Greenberg?

  You can't make one person your whole life and you can't expect them. And I would love to show up at your house all the time. And like you and Shashank have never made me feel like a third wheel and ever in my life. Like I think about Shashank, that's my friend. I love him. Like I was thinking about like doing a going away party with like the girls. And I was like, there's nothing in the world I would ever do without including him. You can't have like one person.

• 31:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Of course, of course. And like, you know, that's the beauty of being like adults in our 40s and being evolved. And like I, you know, I'm trying to decide if it's like triggering anything in me to feel like you're like leaving me. But like I changed our life too, you know? Like I got married, we moved here and we were like single and we had all these friends. And like our life just kind of changed and you were nothing but like supportive and accepting of the changes in my life. And. I can't deny that you are happier in New York. I mean, it would be crazy for me to pressure or guilt you in any way. And like, you know, we've had this last few months of like Rena really knowing that she wants to move. I mean, she said it early in the year,

• 32:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  and I think the writing was clearly in the wall last year, too. But especially recently, where it's like, it's happening. A little intel, she did say at least before that she said that. I changed my mind. She changed her mind. It's just been these conversations. I think we mentioned this before on the podcast, of like, everyone asking, like, breathing down our neck, just in that they want to know, and they're our friends. And we don't have answers. And like, the answers are still a little unclear. But like, all I've known is that like, I have to like, let this happen, even if it is gonna be painful, or even if it's gonna affect some of our job in some way. And so it's just like, there was no other solution is

• 32:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  to like, obviously be 100% on board with you moving away. And I love it here. I like, love the nature and the beauty. And I feel like Krista Williams said something on our podcast when she, they came on about how much she values beauty. And I'm like, I'm the same way, like of my surroundings, not in a person, you know, but like, I love that we took a walk this weekend in Santa Monica, in the neighborhood we live in, that felt like paradise. Like, it feels like you're in Portugal, or like, the south of France. I mean, you're an hour away. You're like, how is this America? Like, California is a dream. LA is a dream. I sleep better here. Azul's happier here. Not right now, but like,

• 33:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  I am more relaxed. I like, have a better quality of life. It's undeniable. I love the food. I think it's the best in the country. Like, I can go read a book on the beach anytime I want. Like, things are easier. Life is easier. And it is really beautiful. And I have friends here, of course, still, they're all couples, like we said. And I have social activities that fulfill me, but they're really getting like, fewer and farther between. And I am an extrovert, like, through and through. Like, I want to feel like I'm in the mix. I'm in the scene. Like, it's really It's insane how different my life is in New York than here. They're different lives. It's like a different woman. It's like someone that is working all day, out every night, just inspired, the energy, I'm sharper there. I don't even sleep as much and I still somehow like my

• 34:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  brain works differently. And I come here and we're just like chilling and like I love my life here with Shashank. Like I think it is a really special place to be if you're in a partnership, like just the weekend trips we take and the restaurants we try and you're you're in the car a lot more, but you're with somebody and traffic doesn't bother you as much when you're like, you know, listening to music with your partner. And I have loved being here with him and getting married here and like all the adventures that we've taken. But I think I have decided that like, this is the place I like want to escape to and like not live in anymore. And I do feel like we will probably move back and like, I will probably miss LA more than I ever missed New York in these last three and a half years. I've said that since day one. If we if I move away from here,

• 34:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  I will miss it so much. Like, all the things you mentioned when New York is so hard, like I will just be like, oh, my God, the like, dream that we lived in LA, like, I will miss it so much. But I just think I want to escape here and visit here and live in New York where I'm like stimulated and fulfilled and my family is is closer. And like, the final thing that I'll say is like, when I really think about my life and like, what matters to me and what I value at this age and in this stage is just rain and rain only. But I always say, I want to be in New York during the week and LA on the weekends. And I say that because I want to go, go, go and be working and motivated and out during the week in New York. And then on the weekends, I would love to take a hike and be

• 35:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  in a place that I'm in awe of with my friends or my husband or my dog. And, you know, I think that giving that up will be the hardest part. And I think we'll spend more time upstate New York or in Hamptons or in Delaware with my family. I mean, being close to my family is like going to be such a game changer and having the holiday season and Shashank and I not having to navigate the our families and like, we can be in Boston and in Delaware in the same day.

• 36:02Rayna Greenberg?

  I just I really did think about like, driving out of your parents' house for Christmas. Like, getting there from LA has been awful the last few years.

• 36:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's been tough.

• 36:09Rayna Greenberg?

  I wouldn't give it up for the world, but it's really hard.

• 36:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I mean, I'll miss those Philly American flight attendants every day because we won't be flying that as much.

• 36:17Rayna Greenberg?

  We can stop at the airport if you miss them.

• 36:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I just, I I feel like I had this epiphany this weekend where we did all these like beautiful things like in the span of five hours. I feel like just like the way we were living, we're in this hotel, felt like we're in France. We went and walked along the water. We went and had like dinner up on that hillside. I'm just like not stimulated enough.

• 36:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, that's how I feel. I mean, I thought for many years, I always said to myself, where do we want to live? Where do you want to vacation? And I've thought for so long, I want to live in LA. I want to, you know, vacation in New York and run around. And to your point, I'm a very different person in New York. I just run around all day long. I have an endless capacity to go on other people's podcasts and record our podcast and go to a meeting. And then I come home and I shower and I go out to dinner with our friends. And it's not that I don't meet really interesting people in LA. I just don't do that much stuff in LA. And so when I go out in New York, I'm always around people that I'm amazed by what they're creating and doing. And it's easier to get to those things. I walk to places, I walk seven, eight miles a day. I don't think about it. Like, I'm always just like doing a lot. And I think at this age, that's what I want to be doing.

• 37:23Rayna Greenberg?

  And I can always move back here. And I also don't have a partner. I wish things were different. Like, I wish I had this partner and a big social group like of friends here. And I would probably enjoy being here a little bit more. I just, at four o'clock, my day ends sometimes. And I'm just like, well, I guess that's it. Like, there's so much more I would do here. But like, to get in the car and drive for an hour and a half to an event, because you need to be there at 7:30 PM, like, I don't want to, that makes me miserable. And I want to run around on foot or by subway. And I just feel like, I feel like my community is in New York. And it's interesting, I was thinking about you versus everybody else. Because I was like, besides you, everybody else that I think of as family, my best friends in the world are all in New York. But I think about it as like

• 38:04Rayna Greenberg?

  an electoral college, like, you're Texas or California, like, you get the most votes.

• 38:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's so funny.

• 38:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I was thinking-

• 38:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  I carry the most weight.

• 38:12Rayna Greenberg?

  You do. Like, I was thinking, like, I just, every time I leave New York, especially the last few months, I like, I miss it in my body. I feel sick leaving. I don't want to. I like, run around with all these people that I love so much. But like, then there's you, and like, you're the anchor to this. But like, you should be. And you have more votes than everybody else. And our business is more important to me than most other things. And I feel like I fought this for a whole year. And I don't want to feel like this. But like, you know, I hope you will come. And I hope you will be there. And there's like, nothing more important to me than me. I don't, I don't feel flippantly about not being with you. Like, this is a really hard decision for me to come to.

• 38:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is a real picture of also just how we're all built so different because I think a lot of people at 42 would really like my life that it is in LA or wherever it may be, where you're married, you cook dinner every night, you kind of chill, like, things are happy and easy and it is enough for me. It's not that, but it's just like, I want more. Like, I'm not done with my career. I want to do so much more. And so that's like a large part of it. I think a lot of people want to slow down at this age and fucking chill and they should.

• 39:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Of course.

• 39:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  And we'll talk about that today.

• 39:20Rayna Greenberg?

  I just think that you and I aren't there and I do think we miss out on media opportunities sometimes just because everything's just more accessible to us in New York. And I had the most perfect day yesterday. Like, Melanie was staying with me. We woke up in the morning. It was beautiful, it was sunny, it was 75 degrees. We took a walk to a coffee shop. We walked a great way. We walked along the beach. I got in my car and ran errands and like, my life was really easy because the weather was nice. I could take my car to do it. And then we like walked around, we saw Margot Robbie. We had like a great like late lunch and I felt healthy and good and the waiters were nice to me and the food was good and it was easy to get into places. And I will miss all of those things.

• 39:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  But like, I can't think about being in New York in February and thinking about what life would be like here. It's really hard to think about. Like, I don't want to do that, you know? And like, I don't want to come across like I have unlimited funds and we can just bebop back and forth. And Shashank has a different type of job. He doesn't have that kind of flexibility. Like, people like be bi-coastal, you know? And like, my dream life is to live in LA, January through April. I don't really know what it's going to be like to be there in the middle of winter with a partner and a small, and a dog in a smaller space. This past winter was hell on earth in the Northeast.

• 40:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it was pretty bad.

• 40:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  And like, we will have to navigate that, all of us as a family. Because it really, the thought of it, like sends a chill down my spine.

• 40:42Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, that's the nice thing that you and I have not and will not. I'm sure I don't think I will at this point, have children. And, you know, we are a little more flexible and fluid. And if we decide that we want to go be in LA for a little bit in the winter, then we can decide that. Like, that is the nice thing about not having kids. I don't have to think about somebody. I can be as selfish as I want.

• 41:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and it's so much less expensive to visit LA than New York. Like, it all comes out in the wash because you're paying more to live in New York.

• 41:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you're paying less to visit LA where LA, if you really want to be going back and forth, you're paying less to live here. It depends on what you've got going on and then paying more to visit New York. I mean, New York is really difficult to visit. Like the Airbnb's, I don't even understand if they're legal or not, whatever. They're few and far between. That's not really an option. Hotels are so astronomical. They're just getting worse. Like, it's really difficult to go there. The hotel rooms are small at that. You know, LA, you really can come out here and spend a week or a month in an Airbnb at like a rate that you could never even dream of in New York. And so that's played into it, too, of like, it is, this is the cheaper place to visit. And if we ever try to spend a winter here, or whatever it may be. But, you know, I want to be like aware

• 41:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  of, like, I don't want to come across like, I just can jet set around and it's just, I'm just talking through it and like, the way I want my life to look. And, you know, we have been able to build a life where we have flexibility in that way.

• 42:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. So I, I'm really excited. I was hoping that you would say that you want to move. And I've been like, very hands off with you about it. And I've never wanted to pressure you to make a decision. I like, I, I honor the fact that you have another person to think about also. It's not just like me and us and our business. And so I've just been like, whatever you decide, we will figure it out for the business. And I feel really excited for this next chapter. And like, I hope you're gonna come. And I'm just excited to be back in New York. I want to do comedy in New York. I just want to like, run around and do more. And I just, I feel really at home there. And I'm excited to go back. And I don't know, I never thought that like, I would change my mind again in three and a half years and go move all these across country moves. Like, it's, it's exhausting. It's a lot. I'll figure out what to do with my house. But I am really excited and hopeful. And I hope you guys come.

• 42:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's just so funny the way you say it. I hope you guys come.

• 42:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, you and I like to change our minds.

• 42:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 42:52Rayna Greenberg?

  So, we'll see.

• 42:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't know. I mean, it's, it's really the weather, thinking about the, the winter and like, how much more difficult some things are is.

• 43:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's stressing me out. So we will figure it out.

• 43:08Rayna Greenberg?

  So I hold space energetically for you to change your mind. I like to change our minds.

• 43:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I don't think, I really feel like this past weekend, I just had this like epiphany of

• 43:15Rayna Greenberg?

  That's so interesting. I thought you were gonna say the opposite, that you were like, I had such a beautiful weekend and I could never possibly leave this.

• 43:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, that's weird how that works, you know? I think that's part of it. It's like to have that beautiful of a weekend, truly all the things. Like Saturday was like out of a movie and we would start every Saturday with our farmer's market. I will like miss that. I'll probably wake up every Saturday morning and cry. We'll move back to New York. Truly, I will, I will do it. We'll go to the one in Brooklyn, but just like to have that kind of weekend and still feel like it's not fulfilling and it's not like stimulating. Like I do have to tell myself, like in three and a half years, we've done a lot. We've soaked up a lot of the beauty and I don't need to go to the beach like I used to. I should be staying out of the sun with, for my skin at this age. You know, we all should be, you know, wearing sunscreen, doing all the things. So it's like, I'm trying to do the most that I can and I, I,

• 44:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  we've talked about if when we move back, we will do a road trip up to San Francisco and come back down and do Carmel by the Sea and Big Sur and like really check that box and just knowing that like, we can always come back here. And the beauty of LA is that like all of our friends have spare bedrooms. Like I will come back and like stay with Taylor, like because it's just like, that's the luxury that you have in LA as opposed to, we don't have friends in New York that like, stay in my spare bedroom.

• 44:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, I can't wait for no one to stay with me ever again. Oh, so excited.

• 44:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  When we moved here, I always said, I didn't know anyone who moved from New York to LA and went back. I was like, it doesn't happen because your quality of life improves so drastically, you can never go back. And then it started to fucking happen.

• 44:51Rayna Greenberg?

  We have so many friends moving back there. It's insane.

• 44:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't, and like back or there to begin with, or like, it's wild. Like, yes, some people who have lived there prior and Amy Chan, for an example, and then other people.

• 45:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Kaitlyn Bristow.

• 45:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, Kaitlyn Bristow just moved there.

• 45:08Rayna Greenberg?

  And our friend Brittany. Like we have so many girlfriends that are moving there.

• 45:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So I, I just like can't deny anymore that like,

• 45:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  What fills my cup as a true extrovert and a true like social boss babe is I need to be there.

• 45:26Rayna Greenberg?

  I knew you would come around with Meg. I just, I knew you would like run around so much and be like, I'm back. It's just, we are really different people when we're there. I mean, I just, I love taking my walk at the end of the day here. I go to the beach like three times a week. I love walking around at Kenny. I love going to Arawan. I'll fucking lose my mind the first day I wake up hungry and I can't go to Arawan.

• 45:48Rayna Greenberg?

  We went to Arawan twice. I've been to Arawan two times a day the last three days. Like I, there's a lot that I love about this slow life, but I am bored to fucking tears. I can't do it anymore.

• 45:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I always hesitate to use the word bored. I

• 46:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm bored.

• 46:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I always say only boring people get bored because you can always be doing something. You can read.

• 46:06Rayna Greenberg?

  I've done all the things.

• 46:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  But like, I feel unstimulated is the word I've been using because like I'll, I'll dabble with bored, but I really, you know, I'm so strong on this. Like you're not bored, read a book, you know, but

• 46:16Rayna Greenberg?

  I read 35 books last year. It was a cry for help, Ashley. I've watched every show. I've taken every trip. You remember me last summer? Do you have any trips I booked last summer? I was going to Calamigos Ranch and Ojai, Santa Barbara. And then I went down to Catalina and you were like, are you good? Like I'm not, I've done all the things. I got nothing left.

• 46:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you were saying like, you probably wouldn't have gotten to this point where you wrote this comedy and

• 46:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Never.

• 46:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't know. I don't really know. I wish, if I could go back, I just think you wouldn't have done it. I just think, I don't know if you ever would have gotten this urge to just start doing comedy in New York. Like I think you would have been stimulated enough with other stuff. Like you really had to hit this point of like, what am I doing? What's next? And I think that was the best thing to come out of it, of like the, the darker days of you living here. Like, you know, we didn't feel like this in 2023 or really even 2024. We felt like we had a lot going on. We had a lot of friends. And for you, you know, it was like the busiest year of my life in 2025 and you felt like you didn't have as much going on. And that's what was the catalyst for the, for doing stand up.

• 47:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. And I think you should be grateful for things that made you happy. I'm very grateful for my time here. And yes, I never would have

• 47:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Been bored enough, but I just, I wouldn't have had the time in New York to do this. I wouldn't have thought to do it. I would have like drank it out or fucked it out or whatever. Like I would have just done a lot more running around. I wouldn't have been like, okay, I have three days to be totally alone and I can write and I can practice this and I can plan this and travel and tour. Like we didn't really have anything going on this winter. So I was like, great. I'll spend four months going to all these cities and it's, I mean, besides Girls Gotta Eat, it's the greatest accomplishment of my life to wake up at 40 and decide that you're gonna like tackle this thing all on your own. And like, I have never in eight and a half years said like, me, mine, my thing, my travel. Like I've had nothing that's just specifically mine. And I love doing stuff together, but professionally.

• 48:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Everybody should have their own.

• 48:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. And I have been fine existing like that. I feel like we've, I've never understood how you did so much. Like we ran this sex trade company and we were on tour. We do Girls Gotta Eat twice a week. I've never had the real desire to like go do another job. I've never understood how you did it. But to finally, for the first time in like almost a decade, to be able to say like my thing, my tour, my schedule, like it's been really fulfilling and gratifying. And I never would have had the impetus to do that. So, yeah.

• 48:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  There's good things that came from it.

• 48:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. That's what we're doing.

• 48:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, so, you know, we know you guys are interested in like the minutia and the logistics. Like we're shutting this studio down over the next few weeks as we figure out Raina's move. And so take it, take it in. There will be a few more episodes here and you know, I think it's fun to see where we're gonna be over the next couple of months.

• 48:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Fun for us too.

• 48:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's gonna be a different set. And when it's virtual, it will look and sound as best as possible. We're gonna make sure we improve everything that we can. And it's just, there's really not gonna be any change in the podcast, right? I think it's funny that people are like, what's gonna happen to the podcast? Like, what do you mean? We were apart for three months in 2020. We know what we're doing.

• 49:19Rayna Greenberg?

  With way less tech.

• 49:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 49:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 49:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Good stuff.

• 49:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Exactly. It's not that I'm not really excited for you to move there. I just have never wanted to put pressure on you. And I've never wanted you to feel like I am gonna guilt you and another person into that decision.

• 49:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I mean, again, this is new for me too, to. Have to consider Shashank's life, you know, another person's life. Like you and I have always been on the same page. Like, we haven't really had to negotiate or compromise. I was the one to lead the charge in LA and then you were like fully on board. And so it's not that Shashank doesn't want to leave here, but he really likes it here, too. And he was very unsure about that at first. Like, I think he moved here in 2025, January, end of January. It was just like, I don't know. And it's really grown on him and he has a great quality of life, too. And we're really happy here. But I think we both have known that our hearts are always on the East Coast.

• 50:08Rayna Greenberg?

  He's an East Coast guy. We're East Coast guys.

• 50:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 50:10Rayna Greenberg?

  We're East Coast guys. And I just think how excited I am to like hop, I could go visit my brother in London. Like, I can take a weekend trip to London if I have to. And like, I miss that baby so much. And I just like, to be a 13 hour flight away from them, it just sucks.

• 50:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. I mean, we'll talk today about like, things that really bring you joy and that are valuable to you and the most important things in your life. And my nephews are at the top of the list. And they're just growing up before my eyes and I really want to see them every month.

• 50:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 50:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  If not more.

• 50:44Rayna Greenberg?

  So do I.

• 50:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I can't do that currently. You know, I can, but it's just like, it's been not as feasible. So I really am like, looking forward to that. Cause that's what really like, that's the happiest I am. Like, we were in the middle of a conversation earlier and they FaceTimed me. I was like, I gotta answer. It's like a drug. It's like, they really like, keep me going. Like, in my darkest of days, like when they FaceTime me, I'm just immediately happy.

• 51:06Rayna Greenberg?

  I know. They're the best. I love them.

• 51:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 51:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, that's the tea, you guys. So stay tuned. When is this drop the 7th? My lease starts next week, so.

• 51:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God. That's so crazy. Wow. Okay.

• 51:19Rayna Greenberg?

  All right. Well, speaking of family and being away from family, I don't live in the same city as my father. So Father's Day is coming up. It's important to me to get him something that is very beautiful and sentimental. And I'm going to recommend something for you guys that we have gotten for our whole family, which is Aura Frames. So there are these digital photo frames. My brother and sister-in-law have gifted them to the whole family. And you can upload photos virtually. There's an app that we all share together. So we can all log in and send videos and photos. It updates instantly. And like when you just like get that photo, it's just like such a rush for me to like see the photos of my family and the actual matting on the frame looks really beautiful. So you can add as many photos to the Aura Frame or videos as you want. You can, like I said, add it from anywhere from the app. You can add messages to it.

• 52:04Rayna Greenberg?

  The gift packaging is so beautiful. It's like really high end and beautifully done. So if you're going to gift this, especially to your father for Father's Day, you can share the photos and videos effortlessly. So like you'll download the Aura Frame app and just send everything directly to the frames. We set them up for my brothers-in-laws and my parents as well. So it was named number one by Wirecard or you can save now by visiting AuraFrames.com. For a limited time, listeners can get $35 off select frames with code GGE. That's A U R A Frames.com promo code GGE. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

• 52:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. And I'm telling you guys about a new partner called Whatnot. You guys have got to check this out. Okay. For a few reasons. One, it is so fun, such a fun way to shop. And two, this is a great way to be that friend, to be that bitch that always has the cutest outfits. I mean, you know, how many times are you scrolling social media? You're like, why do these girls look so cute? Like they just really like.

• 52:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Sets.

• 52:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly. Whatever they have going on. So now you can shop from their closet and you can be one of those girls. So that's what it's like on Whatnot. So it is a live shopping platform where you can buy items across beauty apparel, bags, jewelry and more. So there is these fast-paced auctions, incredible flash sales, live show giveaways and so much more. And you can search the marketplace to find the exact product you're looking for, really close up, like views of what you're going to buy or you're thinking of buying. And there is these incredible deals. So it's a place where you get your favorite items and discover new ones without paying full price. You're never going to pay full price. The largest live shopping marketplace in the country, allowing users to enjoy a trusted shopping experience in a real-time format.

• 53:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  There are over 10,000 fashion, beauty and bag sellers on Whatnot. So there's, you can always find something that you want. And like I said, you almost never pay full price. You're going to shop these incredible name brands, but without the retail prices. And it's this community-driven experience, real-time engagement among like-minded shoppers.

• 53:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  I just think this is so fun. I mean, especially if like shopping with your friends is like a pastime. If you're a millennial, it certainly is. It's just kind of like going to the mall, but you're doing it on the app. And you can connect with passionate sellers to discover unbeatable deals. So you guys can download whatnot and again, get in the app and that's where you're gonna find all this happening. Shop those name brands without the retail prices and honestly like just have fun doing it. So I think you guys are really gonna love it. Get these vintage bags and get Lululemon leggings for cheap, like whatever you guys want, full makeup haul. Get all of that again for these incredible prices. So download the whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search W H A T N O T, whatnot in the app store and start scoring amazing deals.

• 54:39Rayna Greenberg?

  This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. You guys know that Ashley and I have been fans of this brand for so long. Ashley put Liquid IV in her wedding gift bags. I always take them on trips with me. It is the best way to just stay hydrated and

• 54:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's an off campus. Did you notice?

• 54:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 54:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Did you get to that part?

• 54:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Of course I did. I was like, they are, Liquid IV really sponsored this show.

• 54:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  But it like, it made so much sense. And then it also was just like, it's so of the times that they would have like a brand deal like that anyway. So anyway, I just love to see it.

• 55:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I've been meaning to mention that too, actually.

• 55:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, okay.

• 55:06Rayna Greenberg?

  You just take one stick, you put in 16 ounces of water and it'll hydrate you faster than water alone. So if you're feeling just like lethargic, low energy, you need a pick me up in the morning or in the afternoon, like I do right now. It is really so perfect. It helps you to retain hydration for four hours. It's science backed. There's eight essential vitamins and nutrients. It's always non-GMO. It's vegan. It's gluten free. The taste is fantastic, you guys. And now they have Ring Pop. Liquid IV's new hydration multiplier, sugar-free Ring Pop. It's inspired by Ring Prop Cherry. So it's this like tart cherry flavor. I mean, it's so nostalgic. It's three times electrolytes of a leading sports drink and made with refreshing on the go hydration. Eight essential vitamins in that. And the sugar-free comes in a variety of flavors also that includes white peach, rainbow, sherbet,

• 55:49Rayna Greenberg?

  strawberry, watermelon, and much more. I mean, it just tastes so good. So you know, get your pick me up.

• 55:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Lemon lime, grapefruit and guava forever. But the Ring Pop, I'm just obsessed. I love their little fun flavors, little seasonal flavors they do.

• 55:59Rayna Greenberg?

  So you can say yes to unforgettable moments with Liquid IV's new hydration multiplier, sugar-free Ring Pop. Tear, pour, live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code GGE at checkout. That's 20% off your first purchase with code GGE at liquidiv.com.

• 56:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, the millennial midlife crisis. We love a good crash out.

• 56:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 56:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  The millennial crash out, because like, we are midlife. And that's crazy, because midlife crisis is someone's dad buying a convertible. Like, that's when we were younger.

• 56:31Rayna Greenberg?

  I know.

• 56:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  But like, we are that age. We're the dads. We're in our 40s.

• 56:35Rayna Greenberg?

  In their 40s, that's crazy. They were so old back then.

• 56:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. Like, you picture this, like, balding, old dad buying a bright red convertible and, like, leaving his wife.

• 56:47Rayna Greenberg?

  That's us. That's crazy. But this has gotten, like, very hot recently. I mean, I've seen everybody write about it, The Cut, and NPR, and Vox, the millennial midlife crisis. I mean, you guys are there. And we'll kind of dive into these articles a little bit, but I think a lot of people, as they get to the, get around 40, their late 30s, are just kind of saying to themselves, you know, is this it? The job I chose, the partner I chose, the city I chose, you know, is this what I planned for? You know, I had these plans to be, whether it's a mother, or I had a certain amount of money I thought I'd be making, or career success, and did I reach it? It's like, you know, it's when you're just clocking, like, did I hit the goals I wanted to hit? And like, is this what it looks like forever?

• 57:28Rayna Greenberg?

  And we asked you guys, and you had like, a ton of feelings, and I, you know, we just want to validate this sort of, everybody's in the same bucket in terms of like, this is evaluation time, and am I where I want to be?

• 57:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and every generation has its pitfalls. And I think that millennials and younger Gen X kind of fall into zillennials too, fall into the same bucket. And then you have, you know, boomers who want to be like, well, when I was, I don't know, you know, like, they had their crisis too, and, you know, people especially before that, who grew up in the Great Depression and all the, these recessions and all of these things. And then you have Gen Z, who I- Feel for more than anyone because of the way that they've grown up like they haven't even

• 58:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  really experienced the like world we experienced in the early 2010s where it felt like hustling and money and people were doing well, not me necessarily. I was broke as fuck in 2010, but you know, like they haven't even gotten to experience that and then COVID affecting their high school and their college and all these things and like they're the school shooting era, you know, like they really grew up differently and I feel for them more than anyone, but we're going to kind of approach this as like the generation that we are and what we can speak on it when our peers are experiencing. And we've really discussed this in depth of like how of the tone of this episode because the state of the world is just really bleak and we want to not

• 58:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  address like the elephant in the room of like what's happening in like our world and our economy and AI and the workforce and women being pushed out of the workforce and the rampant misogyny and lack of equality and but we don't want to be so doomsday and we want to just validate what a lot of people are experiencing and we want to keep it light and fun with how people are handling their midlife crisis too. Herena, she's been back to New York.

• 59:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Herena started stand up comedy.

• 59:26Rayna Greenberg?

  This is my Ferrari at 40.

• 59:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Herena started stand up comedy at 40. It was a real cry for help.

• 59:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  I got married. That was mine. Can you imagine? Ugh. No, but there's a few factors. There's really this lack of stability, you know, being priced out of these traditional milestones, like owning a home or having a family, whether you're priced out or not, whether you aren't with a partner or whether you can't afford a home. Like the American dream is, I don't want to say non-existent, but it is really hard to achieve. Like we have this growing wealth disparity, like the middle class and like being able to just have like a decent salary and be able to afford a home and two kids and in-state tuition to college is gone. And there are a lot of resources for this too. Of course, we have Mrs. Down Jones on recently and Tori Dunlap and when you want to talk like

• 1:00:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  the money side of it, but there's this like crisis to Find our footing and we were brought up in this like hustle culture condition is to work hard, head down and you will thrive. And now we have AI taking all these jobs and millennials are also in this, they call it the sandwich generation or the caregiving squeeze where you're taking care of both aging parents and young children, sometimes simultaneously. We're dealing, we're facing our own mortality. Our parents are aging. Again, raising young children, a lot of millennials had children older. You know, it's not like 27 year olds as much with young children and they have a while ahead of them to care for their aging parents.

• 1:00:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, we don't want to be so bleak, but you know, we just want to validate that the cost of living has exploded and the, the rate of salaries has not. And so this is harder and harder. And I pulled this quote from an article in the cut recently called midlife crisising in the end times. And it said, we put our heads down, got good grades, went to college, pursued our passions. And then when everything crashed around us, we pivoted, we went back to school for something more practical, kept at it. Yet time and time again, we've been locked out of basic capitalist promises like job security, homeownership and any kind of comfortable retirement plan. And I don't know if previous generations have felt like this and you know, times change and politics change and money changes and we have to like bend with the times and move and be flexible. But I think a lot of people are feeling scared with AI and with job security. And I mean, I just

• 1:01:43Rayna Greenberg?

  can't say it enough that you're just, you're among a lot of other people that feel like this. I think some people are looking around saying like, my life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to necessarily, but a lot of people are feeling this.

• 1:01:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And again, I'm just going to like say my piece and we'll move on from the political aspect of it all. But like, I know, we all know, if we would have had a different outcome in 2016, we wouldn't be sitting here feeling like this. Women especially, I just want to speak to women. Like we had the drastic, and I'm not saying there weren't problems in this country before 2016, capitalism problems, all this stuff. I feel like the greed and the oligarchs were like reined in more than they are now and they're running rampant. And like, we've never seen corporate greed like this. And we just experienced someone coming into power with the worst of intentions. Like, I feel like when these corporations realized they could go full send on like taking advantage People and it's like the wealth disparity is insane. I feel like we're watching people

• 1:02:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  get richer and richer and richer and poorer and poorer and poorer. And also just women getting pushed out of the workforce and like the misogyny in this administration like it became mainstream. Like there's this article in the Atlantic and I'm just going to reference it and then we can again stop, stop with the bleak outlook, but like it's by Helen Lewis. It says, "The men who want women to be quiet." And it says, "A virulent form of misogyny has become the single most important force, holding together the American right." And I just can't help but think that like prior to 2016, that type of misogyny was incel shit. Now those people are influencers. It's mainstream. Like where we are as women because of Donald Trump and his administration and like we had a break in between where

• 1:03:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Joe Biden was trying to fix the fucking shit sandwich of a pandemic. Like let's not forget the pandemic. A lot of women got pushed out of the workforce too and disproportionately women of color like it's just so fucked. And I, I just want to validate that like I, we are really fortunate and I, I don't want to not acknowledge that, but like we worry too. Nothing's guaranteed. We don't have fuck you money forever. You know, like we're doing great now. I think we've made some smart choices, but like I really worry about the future and I really sit down and I think about my nephews. I want to cry. And I really truly believe that the pendulum is going to swing and I really feel like we are all fed up and we need to use our collective voice to fight back against this. And I really think we're going to have a brighter future, but it is bleak right now. And I just want to acknowledge how hard it is sometimes to have hope.

• 1:04:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  And one of these articles I read said like, "Having hope is so millennial." And like, I don't know, that's not an insult to us. Like I think we still have that hope that things will go the other way.

• 1:04:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, I mean, what's the, what's the other, you know, what's the other solution?

• 1:04:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Rayna Greenberg?

  You know, I was surprised. I didn't know the tone of this article because we, we posted it after our audience, like what does your millennial midlife crisis look like? And so many people just echoed different deficits in their life and how they thought their life would turn out. And you know, I think that so much of at least the people in our lives, I see that like we know a lot of women that talk about having kids, you know, we've, we have so many girlfriends that are turning 40 that like thought they'd be Mothers today and you know, they didn't think that they'd still be single at forty, wouldn't have children. And I'm amazed at the women in our life that have decided to find joy in other ways. I mean, we just have so many girlfriends that have like started apps and new businesses and travel around the world and spend more time with their parents. And new hobbies and interests. And I think it could be both.

• 1:05:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I think you can mourn the life that you didn't get to have. That is some people's greatest dream in the entire world, and I hope all of our girlfriends get to have that someday. But in the meantime, like the women in our life have chosen joy and adventure and I'm, I'm proud to like be their friend. And I'm, I don't know what it feels like to want this thing so badly and to never have it. And there's no substitute for it either. But I'm amazed at the women that we know that have at least chosen to find and find joy.

• 1:05:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I know. I tread lightly here because of what I don't want to do is pity my friends and like who are just like really amazing women who I look up to and I don't. But I, I feel for them so deeply, women of a certain age that really wanted to be a mother. And we know women having kids on their own, by the way, of course, and it's always an option. I mean, depending on your health, but whether you can carry them or not, I mean, you have so many different options. But a lot of women are like, I don't want that. I want to have a partner and a family and I, I don't have that. And I think that, like you said, they have like found happiness and they all should be proud of themselves. And what's the perfect life anyway? It's an illusion. What Bell Burden is the perfect example of that. That's I think why people love strangers so much.

• 1:06:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  The book, the recent like bestseller we've talked about is like, that was a perfect life. That was wealth and a loving marriage and kids and vacation homes. And like, look what happens. Like, no one's life is, is perfect. And I talked to a friend recently and she is someone who is forty two, she's my age, and wanted to be a mother and wanted to have a family. She really doesn't want to have a child on her own. And she is caring for aging parents. She just had a loss in her family. She was in a job that robbed her of all her like joy for years and she finally left and she's just been like traveling. She, you know, was able to stay. gave up money and she went to her 20 year reunion recently and she I think felt some type

• 1:06:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  of way of like so many of these women have families now and they have the kids and the quote unquote perfect life and people were so jealous of the life she's living like of the travel she's doing and the meals she's having and the way she's living her life and it's all relative we talked about it with Toon Day of her being like I wanted to have my friend's life who was in covid with her family and having picnics and with all these people and her friends like I would die to go to the bathroom alone you know like we have to remember those things and it's just like so important to find what really does make you happy and brings you joy and like the really valuable things in life like when I think about the things that like I haven't achieved or I haven't gotten or I want that other people have I'm just like I have to remember what's so important and it's like family and friendship and connection and relationships

• 1:07:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  and my nephews and like touching grass you know people are just like we say that in this joking way but it's like really important to like get outside and touch grass I think it's important to like acknowledge there is no perfect life there's no finish line the goalpost is always moving and I think you know women our age were brought up to like find the husband have the children and also have the career but like what happens once you get all of that like life is you have 50 more years to live you know and yeah I think about how many people I know that had these perfect lives that it was taken away from them in their early 40s my my my parents had a great marriage they had this this Jewish community and lots of family and friends big family humongous house and by all intents and purposes great marriage two children all the money they could ever want

• 1:08:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  it fell apart in my in their early 40s and their life didn't go the way they thought it would and they found another way to be happy and they found a new dream and they you know my parents were able to co-parent really well together I would choose that over living in a house with two parents and each other you know I think that there is no finish line and things could fall apart tomorrow and we all have to find ways to find joy outside of that one goal that we think we have to reach Yeah, and you know, if it's a partner, you can find the love of your life at 60. I mean, it's never too late. Like you said, like, I really think if you really, again, like, look for those things that bring you joy and happiness in your life and focus on them and work on yourself, like, I just think you'll find it. I'm not saying you'll get

• 1:09:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  rich and famous, but you'll, I think you'll find your happiness. But again, it's like, I can't talk about this stuff. Sometimes it feels crazy to talk about this stuff with the state of the world. So I just want to acknowledge that, like, when I'm saying this shit, it, some of it feels not inauthentic, but like, I can't believe what's happening outside our door. And we're just like, be happy. You know, I just want to acknowledge it. It feels a little weird to me.

• 1:09:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it sucks. I mean, I, there's no easy answer to any of this. I mean, our, our audience, we always say this time and having you guys share so much with us, we can't believe what you guys share with us. And so many people said, I don't have any money. I don't have the money I thought that I would have. And I don't have the career I thought I would have, or the partner, or the children. And there's no easy wrap it up in a bow answer to any of this. I don't have an answer to any of this. It's important to acknowledge that other people feel like this.

• 1:09:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And I mean, again, like, no one wants to hear, everything happens for a reason. But I, you, you hear over and over in my life, in your life, in friends' lives, a friend really, a real rock bottom right now. And I think she's starting to come around to like, uh, this all had to happen for the next phase of my life. And if you are really at the, a rock bottom, you really feel like you have nothing to lose, no better time to take a big swing, no better time to pivot, fuck it, no responsibility, just fuck it. What do you want to do? Just try it. Just throw it against the wall. And that's easier said than done for some people who may be like, more risk averse. But I have a friend too, that's, again, 40s, thought she'd be married with kids by now. She moved back in with her mom. And she's saving up because she's going to move to a different place.

• 1:10:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I am like, you know, she tells me about her life with her mom, and I like, I could cry. It's so beautiful. Like, when else would you have had this time with your mom? Or your parents? Like, move back in with your friends if you got to cut costs. Like, there's no answer and there's no path anymore. And there's no perfect life. And like, the beauty of this is that you don't have to give a shit about societal and cultural norms. They're just out the window.

• 1:11:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, they just don't really exist anymore.

• 1:11:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So don't let people lie to you that they do. It's projecting.

• 1:11:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I think so many people said, like, I'm not in the same phase of life as my friends. I woke up, I don't really have friends I can hang out with anymore. Moved to New York, you know?

• 1:11:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  A great place to make friends.

• 1:11:17Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I, I really feel people are like, I, I just, day to day, I don't have like the community I want around me and I, I'm not dating the way I want to and I'm not, it's certainly not easy to move to another state. This is a whole pain in my ass and I'm a very high functioning person and I have nobody else financially to take care of besides me. So I'm in the best position of anybody to move across the country and it's still gonna be a nightmare. So it's not like, just move. But I don't know, if that's what you're really feeling, wanna take a swing at that, do what we did. Go live somewhere for three weeks. How long did we live? Three months?

• 1:11:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh yeah, we locked into three months and we just stayed for three years. But yeah, do whatever makes you happy. I mean, again, like, we would like to really break down this like, quote unquote rejection of girl boss culture and I can't, almost like a overcorrection into tradwifery that you would, and I, I said to Ray this morning, like, I just, I started making all these notes. I was like, it's a different conversation and it's heavy and I want someone smarter than us to come in and talk to us about it. I mean, I have my own thoughts, of course, but you know, if you feel like you were promised all this shit and now your job's being replaced, like, you should be mad. It sucks. Like, it sucks. You wanna leave the corporate world and become a spiritual life coach? Fucking do it. Like,

• 1:12:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  do what makes you happy because I just wanna validate it. And I really hope things change and I really, really believe that they will. But again, it's like, we have an administration that doesn't care if we have healthcare or that we have social security. Like, we are not what our parents have in even terms of social security and retirement. And there's a lot of resources out there of like, what to do with your money and we've had those guests on as well. But like, I think people are looking down that road too. And it's like, we have to just hope that things will change and like, do your part of whatever that may be in your community to try to make that happen.

• 1:13:05Rayna Greenberg?

  It's tough. We were really raised in the girl boss generation that you said like, work really hard, girls, because God forbid a man leaves you. You have to pay for your own stuff and go out and like, be really successful on your own.

• 1:13:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  But we should have been able to.

• 1:13:17Rayna Greenberg?

  And we did. You and I did.

• 1:13:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. And but it's such, just like the, I mean, fucking Bernie Sanders would've won in 2016 and we'd have this fucking conversation, even Hillary. But you know what? That's, that's neither here nor there. We'll deep dive into it later today. But it's just changed a lot. It of like, the world has changed so, so drastically. And I really just, I feel for people who really had that dream of a family, not even- Wealthy, just normal.

• 1:13:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Pay my bills, feel comfortable.

• 1:13:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:13:45Rayna Greenberg?

  But I think a lot of people reach this age and our listeners sort of echoed this that, you know, I'm constantly comparing myself to everyone else's milestones and success. And what am I going to do next with my career or my marriage? And I think so many people just ask themselves these questions. And it's tough with AI today. I think a lot of people are feeling like, you know, I learned all these skills and my skills are obsolete and we want to validate it's not just as easy as like, find your hobbies. You know, we don't feel like that.

• 1:14:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  And again, I cannot stress to you guys enough that I could like talk about this for hours and we will deep dive and talk about this because that was the article that really, if you guys want to read it, it is the revolt against the girl bosses has finally come and that is in the New York Times. But I don't think we need to be blaming the women who told us to like get our bag and lean in. If you want to blame, but it's, this is more about the eye of it all. And like, I thought the title was a little misleading. And once I got into it, I was like, oh, this is echoing the way a lot of people feel and how they're validating feeling.

• 1:14:35Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that the people that told us to be, go out and be girl bosses were really well intentioned. My mom said that to me when I was growing up. If you don't end up with a man that supports you, what are you going to do? Go make your own money, start your own business, be proud of what you've done. And I think you and I were raised by a generation of women that didn't necessarily get raised to think that way. And so they did their best to make us strong, hardworking women. And, you know, the answer was never no. When I worked at like Amazon and Groupon, like I stayed super late. I worked on weekends, I worked nights. I mean, I just never, so there's a work-life balance. I've never heard that in my entire fucking life.

• 1:15:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:08Rayna Greenberg?

  That you could lean out, you could unsubscribe from hustle culture, that like you should protect your peace. I would have been laughed out of the fucking building. And that's who raised me. And listen, it made me work really hard and I am who I am. And that's what works for me. We are moving back to New York because I do subscribe to hustle culture. But if you've chosen to lean out and you're like, that's my best life, do that.

• 1:15:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, right, because I think a lot of people are realizing like, I tried that and fuck that. And all I did was like make money for some big greedy corporation that now I'm getting pushed out of the workforce for what?

• 1:15:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 1:15:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  And that's valid too. Again, we guys, we'll do another, we'll do this unless you guys think this is too bleak, let us know in the comments. But if you want the deep dive on the other stuff, we'll definitely do that. It's just, it's a shit tide. To be an American. And I think, you know, just, we can't just walk around being angry all the time. You know, I think community is so important in doing what you can. And I do really think there's going to be a change and you've got to do what makes you happy. And I think that's what we asked about, what's your midlife crisis? I saw this reel that said, pick your midlife crisis. And it was like, a bunch of different things, like sourdough, gardening, bird watching, mahjong, mahjong?

• 1:16:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Mahjong.

• 1:16:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mahjong, okay.

• 1:16:26Rayna Greenberg?

  These are really niche hobby. I mean, book clubs, multiple book clubs, padel and pickleball. I think this is like COVID times. People are like, I will do anything to find joy.

• 1:16:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think that's how it feels sometimes. It feels like I sometimes I'm like, Ashley, what are you doing next? Like my put my comedy special, like, what are you doing next? I'm like, who fucking cares? Like, the world is ending. Like, I have a, depending on the day, a really apocalyptic view. And that is why I am more sober curious.

• 1:16:50Rayna Greenberg?

  That's, that's why I used to stop watching the news like me.

• 1:16:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  So you guys turn off the news and stop drinking. No, sober curious came up a lot. And that's the thing that a lot of people dabble in as they age. And it's just interesting because we're the blackout generation. Like, I love this for us. I love that. Like, all I used to do is be like, hold on, we can't go out yet. I'm not blacked out. And like,

• 1:17:09Rayna Greenberg?

  I would drink in the shower, because God forbid.

• 1:17:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right now, stop, because I

• 1:17:14Rayna Greenberg?

  I took a minute out of drinking.

• 1:17:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  What a rush. A shower drink, a shower beer, shaving your legs in the shower.

• 1:17:20Rayna Greenberg?

  It was always a beer. I, yes, I would have

• 1:17:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Shower beer.

• 1:17:22Rayna Greenberg?

  A Mickey's Ice 40 in the shower.

• 1:17:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Can't have an open cup. You can't have like a cocktail in the shower.

• 1:17:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, in mine, you could, you know, in LA houses, you can.

• 1:17:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  But a lot of people are sober curious, and a lot of people are going harder on drinking, and Marlboro Reds, and smoking is back. And you know what? Live your truth.

• 1:17:39Rayna Greenberg?

  It never went away from it.

• 1:17:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're all gonna die.

• 1:17:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Nothing matters. So you should get some Marlboro Lights. I actually have not smoked a cigarette in like, weeks.

• 1:17:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Someone wrote Marlboro Reds, which is just, I can't recommend. So a few other things. I mean, fostering dogs. Listen, I can't recommend it enough. Like, that really, if you're into dogs, like, that is so special and like, brings you joy. And I'm, I just got Isabel Cleese's book about her foster dog journey. And I think that's like, a really beautiful thing to do. People are saying adrenaline junkie. Like, I love when people

• 1:18:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Trying to die.

• 1:18:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Pick up. Listen, that's a lot of people's retirement plan.

• 1:18:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Die sooner.

• 1:18:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  I saw it in the comments. KMS.

• 1:18:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love when people pick that up. Like my dad picked up skiing late. He's always been adrenaline junkie, but once he realized he couldn't race cars anymore, he picked up skiing. Like I love a late in life skier.

• 1:18:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Tons of people said they became wellness girlies. I mean, listen, we're getting older. So now's the time. I'm going to get back into my Peloton. I was going to sell it, but I'm going to bring it to New York. I mean, Toon Day inspired me and I just, I remember how much I love it. And I, it's important to me to think about bone density and osteoporosis and.

• 1:18:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, bitch. Every time we were in Dr. Barrett's, Rena, are you strength training? Rena lies to his face.

• 1:18:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm just sitting there like sipping my tea.

• 1:18:52Rayna Greenberg?

  But a lot of people leaning into wellness. I mean, I have and just the smallest dumbest things, like replacing my plastic water bottles with glass ones. Just like little things to just like feel better. The stuff I put in my body, on my body better.

• 1:19:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I was seeing a lot of running and running is good when you're angry for sure. Like I just think like fitness and John, like sweating that shit out. I am into berries now. I've mentioned it before. I do it every week and I credit it a lot with like the supplements I've been taking and I posted these recently. I should make a highlight of my wellness stuff. But like my body feels better than ever. Like when I was doing berries when I first moved to New York, like in my early 30s, it was like a struggle. I would dread it. I wouldn't really be able to do the class. I'm breezing through these classes. And it's so funny because I have the strength and stamina, but my body is still 42. So I did pull a muscle last week because I really feel like I be going so hard and my body's like, bitch, you thought. Rena started sprinting, pulled something immediately. I'm still dealing with this. Yeah, I like pulled my gluteus medius.

• 1:19:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Is that a thing?

• 1:19:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. And so it's just funny because I'm like, I have the strength and the stamina, but like I, my body is still breaking down. But anyway, running and berries is mine. And I just, I really think that is so important. Like something that makes you feel strong and good. And again, if fitness is something that works for your mental health as well. Like again, I saw a few responses of this of like, I'm picking back up running. Like maybe you ran in your twenties or thirties and you're in your forties now. You're like, I'll dabble. Just be careful out there. You guys stretch and protect your knees.

• 1:20:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Get into stand up comedy.

• 1:20:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Buy a house, buy a horse. I saw buy a horse.

• 1:20:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't recommend buying a house. Just don't do that.

• 1:20:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Solidcore Fitness, rewatching Off Campus, getting really into F1, becoming a Disney adult, whatever floats your boat.

• 1:20:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Wherever you can find joy. Honestly, I will make fun of it, but.

• 1:20:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Gardening, finding the will to live, crocheting and knitting.

• 1:20:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Lot of that.

• 1:20:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  A lot of mahjong.

• 1:20:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Tons of mahjong.

• 1:20:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Did you go in that lady's house, my brother's neighbor? Remember you guys stayed?

• 1:20:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Stayed there.

• 1:20:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  But were you there on her mahjong day?

• 1:20:51Rayna Greenberg?

  She set up all those tables, yeah.

• 1:20:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was like.

• 1:20:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:20:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  My brother's neighbor, this one time, Raina and Louisa stayed with her. Cause we didn't have enough places for people to stay during our beach.

• 1:21:00Rayna Greenberg?

  That was hilarious. I didn't even know these people. Millennial life crisis, stay at a stranger's house.

• 1:21:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  But remember Louisa would just be over there chatting?

• 1:21:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, Louisa. I mean, she's unstoppable.

• 1:21:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  But that, she set up mahjong Mondays and there was tables all over the house. I'm like, this is so fun. Can I tell you what I think when we move back to New York? I saw this in Lena Dunham's book and she's talking about Jenny Connor, her like best friend turned friend of mine.

• 1:21:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Co-producer on.

• 1:21:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Co-producer of Girls. And she was saying like she, every Sunday would like just have a bunch of wine and food and that people would come in and out. And like, that's my dream to have like a standing date. I am volunteering your house, just so you know.

• 1:21:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, okay. Well, I'm not going to give you the address, so.

• 1:21:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Don't you think this would be so fun?

• 1:21:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, someone else's house.

• 1:21:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't do it.

• 1:21:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, you can.

• 1:21:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't think people are going to want to come over to Brooklyn. I just think you're going to have the space.

• 1:21:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I don't want to.

• 1:21:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Raina, you don't want to have like a standing Sunday come by?

• 1:21:54Rayna Greenberg?

  No. I, I can't wait to move into a smaller space and never have anybody come there.

• 1:21:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Stay the night.

• 1:22:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Ever again.

• 1:22:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  You love to host.

• 1:22:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Not anymore. I just, you know, I'm going to lean out. I just, I don't think I've really loved it that, that much recently. I've just, why don't you host?

• 1:22:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  We would. I just don't think the location is optimal. But I guess we do have a lot of friends in Brooklyn.

• 1:22:15Rayna Greenberg?

  You have a lot of friends?

• 1:22:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like all those Greenpoint. Okay, we're going to do it then.

• 1:22:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:22:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Every Sunday, come on over.

• 1:22:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, great.

• 1:22:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, great. We settled.

• 1:22:21Rayna Greenberg?

  I got out of it.

• 1:22:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  I thought you were gonna love this idea.

• 1:22:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I have an insane rooftop also that no one's really invited to. You know, Jeremy and Alana's building, great for, I'll volunteer their place.

• 1:22:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I just love this. Like, if you have a community, I think these things really fill your cup. If you have a community, every Sunday, you know, we got the wine and the snacks, everybody bringing appetizers. It's supposed to be every week, people have lives and busy and kids and all that stuff. But like, I just like the thought of something to look forward to in your week. Like, again, I have a lot less going on here, but like, Taylor and I having that standing date at Berry's every week, and then we go have wine or coffee after, like, I really look forward to it. So I think those things keep you going is like a thing to look forward to with your friend. Even if it's just a lunch or a coffee, like, why not put that in your schedule?

• 1:23:05Rayna Greenberg?

  What you described also, it feels more Brooklyn. It's like a community of people. Manhattan, we're not a community of people. Brooklyn, community of people. You see the same people walking their dogs.

• 1:23:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  I already said we would do it. You don't have to keep trying to convince me.

• 1:23:17Rayna Greenberg?

  You're gonna back out of something, and I'm just...

• 1:23:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, because Shashank loves to cook.

• 1:23:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Exactly.

• 1:23:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Kitchen sink app.

• 1:23:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Exactly.

• 1:23:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Check it out, you guys. Again, we just wanted to do this and validate how everyone is feeling. And like, if you are like, I feel scared about the future and like, what's in my bank account? Like, so many other people feel that way. And we try to give as many resources as we can on this podcast, but we or anyone else doesn't have like the magic answer. But I just think it's important to like validate how people are feeling and like encouraging you to like find the joy in the community and the things that fill you up where you can. And I just hope like the, again, the pendulum's gonna swing the other way. And, you know, it's not the same. I think things are really dark right now. But one of the quotes I pulled from one of these articles was,

• 1:24:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  "Most of the cohort, like these millennials, entered the workforce in around or following the financial collapse of 2008, only to be hit again by COVID 2020 recession and now join the ranks of the middle aged in whatever kind of economy we're facing in 2025." This article is from 2025. And so it's like, we've been through some of this. You know, our parents or our grandparents have been through some of this and have come out on the other side. And I know sometimes it can feel hard to think that's gonna happen just because the odds are so stacked against us. And like this corporate greed is so, and this oligarchy is so out of control. But like, we just obviously have to believe that it will change because we are fed up and everybody is fed up.

• 1:24:43Rayna Greenberg?

  You and I will probably be in jail for speaking out against the Führer in the next couple of years.

• 1:24:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, this is the last we're gonna hear from us about this, on this topic. Thank you for your attention, this matter.

• 1:24:51Rayna Greenberg?

  But you know, I think that every generation has had their millennial midlife crisis. And I think that everybody hits an age where they think my life didn't go where I wanted it to go. Career wise, money wise, friendship wise, spouse wise, children wise. And life is really long and it's constantly changing. And you know, you can always pivot and try something different. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying like, just make more money or just find a new career. But life is really long and just because you look around and other people seem to have achieved these milestones that you want to validate. What's up always comes down, you know? But the good news is what's down will go back up also. And if you're feeling really unhappy, like life goes on and it's long and you can pivot and hopefully find community. And I think that every generation has felt like this at some point.

• 1:25:34Rayna Greenberg?

  And it's important to just find people that validate that and to find fun, enjoy it in life and play mahjong or birdwatch or get into a book club.

• 1:25:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Fucking backpack in your 40s. I don't know, you can still travel on the cheap. It might not be the standards you may be used to at this age, but you can always to put on a backpack and go stay in a hostel and see the world.

• 1:25:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Not me.

• 1:25:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not you, but I'm saying like, if you really feel like this is a, like I said, like real rock bottom. There's an only way to go is up and just fuck it. Literally fuck it.

• 1:26:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Fuck it.

• 1:26:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, I love that Kelty Knight is coming out with this fuck them theory as kind of an antidote to the let them theory. Just fuck it. That's the energy now. I mean, that's kind of the beauty of where we're at in this climate. Cause we really didn't feel that energy when we were in the girl boss world. You couldn't just say fuck it. You really had to like boss it out.

• 1:26:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I wish I could remember this because you know, we used to say fuck more, cry less. Somebody wrote something like less fucks.

• 1:26:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Less fucks was a part of it.

• 1:26:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Fuck more, less fucks.

• 1:26:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Cry more. We're all crying more, just so you guys know.

• 1:26:49Rayna Greenberg?

  I really don't know.

• 1:26:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  All right. It's too late for you. It's 5:11 at this point.

• 1:26:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 1:26:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  You guys, so Raina, she's sundown for her.

• 1:26:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  All right. Well, thank you, guys, for being here. As always, if you're still around to the end. And you can find this, here we go. I always lose it at the end, too. girlsgottaeat.com. But again, nothing's really going on over there, but it's always there for your for your pleasure.

• 1:27:11Rayna Greenberg?

  The episodes are there, the partners.

• 1:27:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Girlsgottoeatpodcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Raina is Rayna Greenberg. RainaGreenberg.com for her fall tour tickets, full video on Spotify and YouTube. We would love if you would leave a comment on Spotify, subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a millennial friend who may need it, or really anyone. And we will see you Thursday.

• 1:27:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Have a good week, guys.

• 1:27:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Bye.

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