A Father's Fake Death for Faraway Love w/ Jay Jurden

Laci welcomes back comedian Jay Jurden (Yes Ma’am) to break down the scam of shrinkflation at stand-up comedy shows and to unpack the bizarre true story of Ryan Borgwardt, a Wisconsin cabinetmaker who faked his own death in a kayaking accident, abandoning his wife and three kids to start a new life with an Eastern European woman he met online. Stay schemin’! CON-gregation, catch Laci's TV Show Scam Goddess, now on Freeform and Hulu! Keep the scams coming and snitch on your friends by emailing us at [email protected]. Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Jay Jurden: @jayjurden Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://abcnews.go.com/US/lie-wisconsin-kayaker-faked-drowning-fled-country-told/story?id=125419190 https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/candid-comments-kayaker-who-faked-35878304 https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/wisconsin-ryan-borgwardt-wife-georgia-b2823424.html https://www.wisn.com/article/wife-of-wisconsin-man-accused-of-faking-his-own-death-files-for-divorce-missing-kayaker/63173392 https://www.wisn.com/article/i-kept-going-wisconsin-husband-details-how-he-faked-his-own-death/66030235 https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/26/us/wisconsin-missing-kayaker

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Cash flow crunch? OnDeck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds, up to $200,000, right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at ondeck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Hey folks, it's Matt Altmaix.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  And Joel Larsgaard from the How To Money Podcast.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  If you travel for work like I do, you know that every trip is an opportunity to get more from the miles that you are already earning. Whether you are heading to your next client meeting or catching a flight home, those miles can go a long way. And for a limited time, new Delta SkyMiles Business Card members can earn 200,000 bonus miles, the highest miles offered this year, with a Delta SkyMiles Reserve Business American Express Card. Apply today at delta.com/podcast. Offer ends November 4th. Minimum spending requirements and terms apply.

• 1:06Speaker 03

  Parents and grandparents, if you want a gift that won't be forgotten by New Year's, give a Guardian bike. Guardian bikes are built just for kids. Lightweight, low to the ground, with a wide wheelbase for balance. Most kids learn to ride in just one day. No training wheels needed. Their patented Sure Stop Brake stops both wheels with a single lever, helping prevent head-over-handlebar falls. It's the number one kids' bike on the market, designed and assembled in the USA, and the New York Times Wirecutter's top pick four years in a row. This holiday, save over 40% on kids' bikes. Plus, get $100 in free accessories. A lock, pump, bell, grips, and clamp. The stocking stuffers covered. They have helmets and adult bikes too, so the whole family can ride.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Join over a million happy riders at guardianbikes.com. That's guardianbikes.com.

• 1:58Speaker 04

  Monday night brings one more big matchup to settle into. And when every play matters, the last thing you want to do is step away to figure out dinner. That's where DiGiorno comes in. Get a DiGiorno pizza ready before kickoff, then enjoy restaurant-quality taste fresh from your own oven while you stay locked into every play. Stock up on DiGiorno over the weekend so when Monday night rolls around, the only thing you sweat is the game. Shop now at the link in the episode description. It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno.

• 2:45Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Scam Goddess, AKA Lacey Mosley, back with a podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. It's a comedy show, and y'all already know I'm what? Yes, excited, thrilled, elated. My guest today is a dear friend, a brilliant comedian, and an incredible actor. He's also a former staff writer on the hit show, The Problem with Jon Stewart. He's joining us for a quick podcast pit stop in the middle of his nothing-special stand-up tour. His debut special, Yes, Ma'am, just dropped on Hulu on November 7th.

• 3:26Laci Mosley?

  Congregation, please welcome the absolute gem back to the show, Jay Jurden.

• 3:32Speaker 06

  Thank you for having me. Let the church say amen.

• 3:35Laci Mosley?

  Amen.

• 3:36Speaker 06

  As a guest preacher, I want to say, I'm not gonna hold y'all long, but I got some stuff to get off my chest.

• 3:44Laci Mosley?

  Yes, and honestly, that is a telltale sign that you are gonna hold people long.

• 3:51Speaker 06

  Church, I ain't gonna hold you long.

• 3:52Laci Mosley?

  I ain't gonna hold y'all.

• 3:54Speaker 06

  Two hours later.

• 3:55Laci Mosley?

  Right. I ain't gonna hold y'all.

• 3:57Speaker 06

  Two hours later. Now, that was the first verse I wanted to dissect. Let's get to this. Okay, everyone turn to Ephesians. We in Ephesians? Oh, God. We in the Corinthians? I don't live in Corinth. Corinth, Mississippi?

• 4:10Laci Mosley?

  I don't live in Corinth. That's crazy.

• 4:11Speaker 06

  Oh, God.

• 4:13Laci Mosley?

  So, I have to ask you, up top, what is your relationship with scams right now? Like, it could be you love them, you hate them, something you went through.

• 4:21Speaker 06

  Okay, I'm breaking news. I don't know if someone tried to scam me today. There was a reservation sent to my email. I called up this same hotel. I'm not gonna blow the hotel spot up. I said, "I didn't book this. Take this off. Cancel this, whoever booked it." They said, "Oh, great. Thank you for letting us know. By the way, do you have a minute to stay on the phone to hear about our survey? We're also gonna offer you some points." I said, "Are y'all doing this so that people listen to this?" I was concerned. So, there was a, there was something that was scam-adjacent that happened to me today. I'd say a bigger thing scam-related right now. I'm seeing a lot of people, and I'm saying this as a stand-up comedian.

• 5:04Speaker 06

  I'm seeing a lot of people who, they don't have an hour of shit worth to say. They scamming these folks on the road. They got 20 minutes of stuff to say. And they're making you pay full price. You get there, they got seven, sometimes, you know, seven openers. They, they, they got five of their friends doing 15, 20 minutes. You see this headliner, that headliner only doing 20 minutes. They're supposed to be doing 45 minutes. That's per the contract.

• 5:36Laci Mosley?

  Are you telling me that I, I have been wasting my time building an hour? Because I could just have people open and then...

• 5:45Speaker 06

  You can have, listen.

• 5:46Laci Mosley?

  I could do crowd work for 30 minutes.

• 5:48Speaker 06

  Lacy.

• 5:48Laci Mosley?

  And then I could do like 10 minutes of stand-up. What?

• 5:52Speaker 06

  You could, you could have your, you could have six of your friends do 10. They got their hour. You come out and say, "We had a good show, didn't we, folks?" Bye everyone. Have a good, drive, sex, take a picture with me. Oh, that, that merch is extra. Hey, that merch is extra. You go ahead and, I got, I, no, I can accept.

• 6:10Laci Mosley?

  The merch, how you get a picture with me? Like, you, you go buy your little merch and then I'll take a little picture with you.

• 6:16Speaker 06

  They, they scamming folks out here when it comes, they scamming folks when it comes to some of these shows, so.

• 6:22Laci Mosley?

  Okay, that's upsetting because comedy, especially in this time, i- it's supposed to be a relief. It's supposed to be something that people can go enjoy while the world is burning. And y'all, y'all over here scamming the comedy?

• 6:36Speaker 06

  I saw something online that says so many people now in this age of sort of like get it while you can get it. They are treating paying customers and patrons like they are custos, AKA like they are people who are addicted to their product. You can't treat comedy fans the same way you treat people who are buying crap from you.

• 7:00Laci Mosley?

  That's trash. That, that is trash.

• 7:02Speaker 06

  You can't treat people who patronize your restaurant the same way you treat people who you look down upon because you're selling them drugs. Be a better business person. Stop trying to scam these folks.

• 7:14Laci Mosley?

  Okay, that scares me because I've known a few drug dealers in my lifetime. And one of my questions for them was always like, how do you sell drugs? Like, you know, like.

• 7:28Speaker 06

  Famously, them drugs sell themselves.

• 7:31Laci Mosley?

  Well, beyond that also, it's like with fentanyl coming into the drug community and being in everything. Cause like, why is fentanyl and cocaine? That's not, that don't even make sense. Like, fentanyl is a downer and cocaine is supposed to be an upper. And like, I was talking to them and I was like, how do you do this? And he was like, mm, you know, it was a he. It was many he's, many he's. And they were like, well, I can't look at my customers as people, like.

• 8:01Laci Mosley?

  They're just a number, like, I, I give them the drugs and then I move on. Like, they're just a number. And I was like, what?

• 8:09Speaker 06

  I want people to know if comedies, if, if comedy is something you wanna do, you have to care about these people who are paying money to come see you.

• 8:18Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you can't be no drug dealer.

• 8:19Speaker 06

  I scam, I, I got it out of, I scammed them again. Well, I'm tricking folks. I'm tricking folks. Have I ever done something scam me? You know, sure, I'll try and lie on myself. Every now and then Instagram stories, you gonna see a picture of me in various states of undress with a link. And the link, the emojis on the link will be like chili pepper, devil emoji, wink emoji, squirt emoji, tongue out. That's a link to tickets to my show. It's not an OnlyFans. Am I scamming? A little, a tiny amount, a touch.

• 8:53Laci Mosley?

  I don't know if that's a scam. You just get the people going.

• 8:55Speaker 06

  I know, well, they, I mean, multiple people have said, oh, not an OnlyFans? I guess. I go, whoa, you guess. I gave you the Speedo pick.

• 9:06Laci Mosley?

  Right. You didn't even have to pay for it.

• 9:08Speaker 06

  You didn't even have to pay for it. I know, you breaking my heart. You guess.

• 9:16Laci Mosley?

  You guess is crazy.

• 9:19Speaker 06

  But it is that weird sort of, and it's tied to the theme of the show. There is this kind of prevalent notion that you can always sort of get over on people. You can, and I mean, that's a-

• 9:32Laci Mosley?

  You were talking about it with stand-up with the extra openers. Why y'all got extras?

• 9:36Speaker 06

  Well, when you, when you, okay, when you start to like notice in the audience, if you're, and if you're sitting in the audience and you go, okay, that person, okay, that's the host, all right. And this person, okay, that's, that's the feature. Okay, maybe this person the guest spot. Whoa, where's another friend? Now we got four people. Where's another person? Five people? What is that? You, we got the Jacksons up there?

• 10:01Laci Mosley?

  We can't even see you.

• 10:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, wait a second, hold on. It's the equivalent of whenever you, whenever you go to the club, people used to go to- Clubs, I I hope they still do.

• 10:12Laci Mosley?

  I don't know if they do. That's become a scam too, like you have to buy real estate in the club.

• 10:19Speaker 06

  My god.

• 10:20Laci Mosley?

  You just go to a club and and be dancing and grinding on a stranger and it was a good time. Now you go to the club, you gotta pay for a couch and then you gotta pay for overpriced alcohol.

• 10:30Speaker 06

  We.

• 10:31Laci Mosley?

  What?

• 10:32Speaker 06

  We gotta start doing eminent domain in the club. We gotta take away people's little sections. We gotta move in and say, y'all can't have this. It's messing up the neighborhood. Cause what are we do? If people can't go to clubs, if songs can't break in clubs anymore, songs have to break on TikTok. Every song becomes thirty seconds. So now I'm listening to Chief Keef. I said, this song only a minute and twenty nine seconds? What the hell's wrong with you DJ Monster and Chief Keef? You've you scammed me too. Chief Keef and I want to be.

• 11:05Laci Mosley?

  They only give you a little taste of music now. You can't even had a full of music no more.

• 11:09Speaker 06

  They'll be like, this is the extended version. It's three minutes.

• 11:12Laci Mosley?

  That's the normal length of a song.

• 11:14Speaker 06

  That they go, nah, I added two extra verses. From the one, now we getting three? They they cutting, they skimming it off the top. They cut, uh, everything's watered down, drinks watered down, you know? I mean, what, ba- bottle of vodka? You paying?

• 11:31Laci Mosley?

  Oh, you're paying like twenty times the actual worth of it when you buy it in the club.

• 11:37Speaker 06

  And then you and then you go, hey, make sure y'all get pictures of this. I need people to see that I'm doing it like this. I ain't gonna do it again for a while. Get some pictures. Get get some sparklers.

• 11:47Laci Mosley?

  Now you're just doing a photo shoot.

• 11:50Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:50Laci Mosley?

  Ain't nobody having fun no more.

• 11:52Speaker 06

  You can't even dance to Y K Nise. Cause you gotta get this TikTok. You gotta get this real. You gotta you gotta put this in the store.

• 12:01Laci Mosley?

  It's breaking my heart. It is, mine too.

• 12:04Speaker 06

  Now, you know where they don't do that? You know what? And shout out to this community. Shout out to shout out to all the queer folks. Cause you know where that doesn't happen? At the gay clubs. Gay clubs, they go off. Sometimes at Bulldogs in Atlanta, they go off too much. Some, maybe it's a fight.

• 12:21Laci Mosley?

  Okay, well, it's also Atlanta, so.

• 12:23Speaker 06

  Maybe it's some sissies fighting, but I would much try to have every now and then a couple of sissy fights and still be able to dance and commune with community instead of getting scammed.

• 12:35Laci Mosley?

  And also, those fights are inspirational because they're happening because of the music. Like, if Nuck If You Buck comes on, I am gonna be ready to fight. Like, I don't wanna fight, but the inspiration, the fighting spirit will rise in me.

• 12:51Speaker 06

  And you know what? And I hope people have their ears and their hearts open to this. Because the Psalmist said, "We nuckin', we buckin', we ready to fight."

• 13:01Laci Mosley?

  So, what do you mean?

• 13:03Speaker 06

  And David danced before the Lord. "Did you not dance?" If Diamond said, "We nuckin' and buckin', then we nuckin' and buckin'."

• 13:08Laci Mosley?

  You hit one of these, that elbow might hit somebody. They're like, "Why you hit me?" And I'm like, "Bitch, why you mad?"

• 13:15Speaker 06

  Little Scrappy didn't say we were head caresses. He said we were head bosses.

• 13:19Laci Mosley?

  Exactly, okay? And honestly, those fights, I'm never gonna be mad at, because they're inspirational. They're inspirational. Y'all caught the spirit and the spirit of violence.

• 13:30Speaker 06

  Whoa.

• 13:31Laci Mosley?

  Took you through there.

• 13:33Speaker 06

  That is, okay, that is the crunk Holy Ghost.

• 13:36Laci Mosley?

  It's the Holy Ghost. People don't wanna talk about the violent Holy Ghost, but like, it's there. It's there. Sometimes you need to whoop ass.

• 13:44Speaker 06

  That's the truth.

• 13:49Speaker 07

  OnDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of 5-star TrustPilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  Parents and grandparents, if you want a gift that won't be forgotten by New Year's, give a Guardian Bike. It's America's favorite kids' bike because most kids learn to ride in just one day. No training wheels needed. They're lightweight and low to the ground with a wide wheelbase for balance. It's no wonder they have a 4.9 out of 5-star rating with over a million happy riders. They're also designed and assembled in the USA, and they've been the New York Times Wirecutter's Top Pick four years in a row. This holiday season, save over 40% on kids' bikes. Plus, get $100 in free accessories: a lock, pump, bell, grips, and clamp. That's stocking stuffers covered. They have helmets and adult bikes too, so the whole family can ride. Shop guardianbikes.com. That's guardianbikes.com.

• 15:05Speaker 08

  Hi, I'm Jenna Oshkowitz. You might know me from Glee. This is At the Table, the food allergy podcast, a show about food, connection, and what it really looks like to live with food allergies. Each episode, we hear stories from real people like Daniel.

• 15:20Speaker 09

  People would always think I was lactose intolerant, so I just kind of shortened my explanation to I'm deathly allergic in a big way that defined a lot of my childhood.

• 15:31Speaker 08

  And while there are challenges, there are moments that remind you you're not alone.

• 15:36Speaker 10

  One of the best guys that I dated, he made a point to memorize all my food allergies.

• 15:42Speaker 08

  So join us and hear their stories and more, because living with food allergies isn't just about what you can't eat. It's about still having your seat at the table. Brought to you by Genentech and Novartis. Listen to At the Table, the food allergy podcast, on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow At the Table and start listening on the free iHeart Radio app today.

• 16:02Speaker 11

  This is Troy Millings. As someone who travels a lot for work, I really appreciate a premium airport experience. With the Delta SkyMiles Reserve Business American Express Card, it truly feels like you can have it all. For a limited time, new Delta SkyMiles Reserve Business Card members can earn 200,000 bonus miles, the highest miles offered this year. Card members can also enjoy 15 visits to the Delta Sky Club each medallion year when flying Delta, and you can unlock unlimited Delta Sky Club access after spending $75,000 in purchases on your card during a calendar year. Those are benefits you can get behind. You also get four one-time guest passes each medallion year, so you can bring a friend or colleague along.

• 16:45Speaker 11

  15 Sky Club visits plus four guest passes? That's up to $950 in annual value. Value estimate based on a $50 per visit rate to purchase additional visits or bring a guest to the Delta Sky Club. It's the kind of premium access that helps you feel right at home and at ease no matter where you're headed. Apply today at www.delta.com/podcast. Offer ends November 4, 2026. Minimum spending requirements and terms apply.

• 17:16Laci Mosley?

  So let's get into the historic hoodwink. This is where I'm going to regale Jay with the famous con caper group of criminals. We'll see if he likes them, if he hates them, like we'll get his opinions all throughout. Today, we're talking about a Wisconsin cabinet maker named Ryan Bourgert. He faked his own death in a kayaking accident to run away from his wife and three kids. So he could start a new life at an Eastern European, like with an Eastern European woman he met online.

• 17:50Speaker 06

  I already love this because usually when you hear Wisconsin and you see a picture like this, he didn't took the wife and the babies out with him. But this man had enough common courtesy to fake his own death, not lay a hand on the single one of those people in his family and get out of the way. Are we not recently in the business of telling man, get the hell out? I'm not mad at this man so far.

• 18:18Laci Mosley?

  He didn't take the family annihilator route, which we've seen time and time again. And then they put up that photo with them all on a jet ski.

• 18:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:27Laci Mosley?

  And he had murdered everybody.

• 18:29Speaker 06

  Shout out to Zach Fox for doing investigative journalism when he posted, when he tweeted that.

• 18:33Laci Mosley?

  Right, it was beautiful. It was, that's what family annihilators have been up to. So he was like, I'm not going to annihilate them, I'm just annihilate myself.

• 18:43Speaker 06

  And not even really do that. He, he, he didn't quit with the, with the, if you watch Yu-Gi-Oh, Monster Reborn card. He said, I'm going to Europe.

• 18:52Laci Mosley?

  Oh, and like, also, women out there, men are a scam. Y'all know, like, and then once they get you pregnant, they change up on you, they switch up on you. Now you got to, you gotta be a single mom, but you married. Married single moms is like my new favorite TikTok, like trend that I've been looking at.

• 19:15Speaker 06

  Lacey, that is wow, what a perfect in, that's a perfect encapsulization of what does happen when some of these men scam. So like, we, me and my husband, we got married. I, we had lived together for a very long time. Some of these women, they go, oh, we can get married and live with that man. What are you doing, talking about, oh, we gonna buy a place together? And y'all both got jobs and now you cleaning up after him?

• 19:42Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm. Or they're, or they're like, oh, well, you don't have to work anymore. Like, I'll do the work and you stay at home. And they don't consider being at home and wash your dishes and cooking and doing all the stuff they do. They don't consider that work. I'm like, no, that's work. Like, he needs to pay you. Like, what are you gonna do when he finds a younger version of you and you ain't got no money?

• 20:04Speaker 06

  And that, whenever someone talks about how great that is, I go, oh, your grandma never kept it real with you. Talk to your granny. You didn't talk to your grandma at all.

• 20:13Laci Mosley?

  Cause all of our grannies, they, they, everyone loves to romanticize that. Like, oh, all of our grannies, they stayed with their husbands, da, da, da, da. Baby, they couldn't get a credit card. They couldn't own property. They couldn't leave. And if your grandpa died mysteriously, it's probably your grandma who did it.

• 20:32Speaker 06

  Yeah, she put some antifreeze in them black eyed peas.

• 20:37Laci Mosley?

  That's a bop, antifreeze in the black eyed peas.

• 20:39Speaker 06

  She put, she put some arsenic in, in them collars. We know what happened. No, and if you are black, it's for, if you are a black person, your granny still already worked. My grandma worked and like had to be a homemaker. So like, it is this like wild scam that people go, oh, I'mma find this, I'mma find this protector type man. It's tough because a lot of those men with those traditional ass values, they also, they be having traditional ass anger management problems too. They be coming home, they, they come home screaming like it's the 50s.

• 21:14Laci Mosley?

  They got traditional violence as well.

• 21:17Speaker 06

  Traditional violence. You wanna talk about, they really put the mad in mad men. They come home angry. Let's.

• 21:23Laci Mosley?

  Ready to slap you around. No, you don't need that.

• 21:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get you, get you a little weak man that like to fold his own clothes.

• 21:33Laci Mosley?

  Okay, honestly, Jay, like, I date men and women, but I will not date a man that I don't think I can beat in a fight.

• 21:41Speaker 06

  That's how Lacey hits on you at the club. You slapbox real quick. Let me see. Let me see what you got.

• 21:45Laci Mosley?

  You're joking, but I legit have done that. Like, the last man that I kissed, we, he was like, "Oh, you boxing?" I was like, "Yeah, I'm boxing." He started, he put his hands up, and I was like, he was like, "Give me a one, give me a three, give me a five." Like, I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And then we kissed, but I was like, "Oh, I could beat your ass." Like, this is beautiful. We could be in love.

• 22:07Speaker 06

  Me and Lacey at the club, we get kicked out, wiped. Lacey, arm wrestling, folks, again.

• 22:13Speaker 06

  Why we get kicked out of the club? Lacey was giving niggas Indian burns and nuggies.

• 22:23Laci Mosley?

  I gotta make sure. I gotta make sure. So, let's talk about the lake escape.

• 22:29Speaker 06

  Lake escape.

• 22:31Laci Mosley?

  So, on the night of August 11, 2024, dad of three, Ryan, left his family home in Watertown, Wisconsin.

• 22:40Speaker 06

  Watertown?

• 22:41Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he needed to leave there. That sound like a Hallmark movie name. You live in Watertown, Wisconsin? Yeah, you gotta leave.

• 22:49Speaker 06

  Is this Pokemon? Or am I gonna have to battle a Gyarados in Watertown?

• 22:53Laci Mosley?

  Watertown means you gotta leave, cuz like, what, what kinda town do you live, like?

• 22:58Speaker 06

  Watertown? No, what are you doing, living there?

• 23:02Laci Mosley?

  Like, small town. Like, what? Like, why? So?

• 23:07Speaker 06

  Here in Wheatville, USA.

• 23:10Laci Mosley?

  It's Wheatville. It's hella Wheatville. Like, what, what are you doing? Yeah, you need to leave. So, he drove 50 miles away to Green Lake for some night kayaking. And you know how you need to kayak in the night. You know how, when it's night, you need to kayak?

• 23:27Speaker 06

  You hit with the urge.

• 23:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 06

  The urge. You wake up, you wake up out of your sleep, "I gotta kayak."

• 23:35Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, night yacking. You gotta, you gotta do it. It's important.

• 23:39Speaker 06

  I didn't have some yak at night, but it's, it's cognac. I ain't had no kayaking.

• 23:44Laci Mosley?

  See, and that's what's wrong. You need to get into that.

• 23:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:50Laci Mosley?

  He texted his wife Emily at 10:36 PM that he may have snuck out on a lake. This is his wife.

• 24:00Speaker 06

  Oh, Emily.

• 24:01Laci Mosley?

  Oh, Emily.

• 24:03Speaker 06

  Y'all look, y'all look cute. Y'all look happy. It is, I don't want to be.

• 24:09Laci Mosley?

  This is giving me lavender relationship.

• 24:12Speaker 06

  Okay, this is what I did want to get into, but I didn't want to say it. I'm glad you broached it.

• 24:16Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. I've dated enough gay men to know, like, when they.

• 24:22Speaker 06

  I don't know what's going on. He does look like he is scheming in the wedding photo. Maybe not a gay scheme, but he's scheming. The shoulders are raised.

• 24:33Laci Mosley?

  I don't know. It might be a gay scheme.

• 24:36Speaker 06

  She's smiling from her heart. He's like, she don't even know. Do we see it? I feel.

• 24:42Laci Mosley?

  It's a gay scheme to me. Like, I'm gonna say it. Like, he wanted the facade and then he was like, I'm sick of this shit. I don't want this. And I'm a faker kayak death.

• 24:56Speaker 06

  Okay, yeah.

• 24:57Laci Mosley?

  Which is dramatic and of our people.

• 25:01Laci Mosley?

  You could have did a regular death at home. You didn't need to drive 50 miles, but you, and then you sent a text to set the scene.

• 25:08Speaker 06

  Yeah. Wait a second, because a text. Here, okay. I might have snuck out? Stop being, stop being silly. Stop giving me riddles. You may have snuck out. You snuck out.

• 25:23Laci Mosley?

  Hee hee hee. You know, he was hee hee hee while he was faking his own death. So.

• 25:32Laci Mosley?

  "That would have been nice to know," Emily responded. "I was beginning to wonder why you weren't home."

• 25:42Speaker 06

  Okay, this is the first time she's said something like that.

• 25:44Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 25:45Speaker 06

  That would have been nice to know.

• 25:45Laci Mosley?

  Emily's stand on business. Emily is giving me like a woman who just wanted children and didn't like really care about the man for real.

• 25:55Speaker 06

  Emily said, "That would have been nice to know."

• 25:58Laci Mosley?

  She's been sick of his shit. She's been sick of his shit.

• 26:01Speaker 06

  Emily, you are funny.

• 26:03Laci Mosley?

  Iconic.

• 26:04Speaker 06

  I've decided.

• 26:05Laci Mosley?

  So, after he apologized, she responded, "Nothing new. I should be used to it by now. So many nights I have no idea where you are and it's late."

• 26:16Speaker 06

  Whoa, Lacey, you called it. Okay, the scheme might have been of the queer variety, because that's a wild thing to say.

• 26:24Laci Mosley?

  Because why you out late? You got three kids and you out late. What you doing? Where you at? The booty club? Where you at?

• 26:31Speaker 06

  Not only out late, but she goes, "It shouldn't be a surprise to me. So many nights, so many nights."

• 26:37Laci Mosley?

  So many nights. You out in these streets.

• 26:41Speaker 06

  What? Emily, Emily, listen to Phil Mob. She said, "Sick of being lonely. Every night while my man is out with the homies."

• 26:48Laci Mosley?

  My man, my man, my man, always out in these streets. Who's doing the bending? That's what Emily was gonna say next. She's tired of this.

• 26:57Speaker 06

  Who's doing the boating?

• 27:01Laci Mosley?

  So, he responded that he'll work on their communication, adding that he saw the northern lights and they were pink. He then texted, "I love you. Good night."

• 27:11Speaker 06

  Lacey, I can't. Where, okay, "Hey, baby, I might have snuck out to do some night yakking." Dot, dot, dot. "That would have been nice to know." "What? Shouldn't surprise me anyway. I'm so used to you being gone." And he said, "I'm gonna work on communication with you. By the way, I snuck out to see the northern lights. They are so pretty."

• 27:37Laci Mosley?

  Whimsical. He's whimsical as hell.

• 27:41Speaker 06

  I'm getting sick of this.

• 27:44Laci Mosley?

  That, that, already?

• 27:46Speaker 06

  This would be a scam. This is already, this scam hadn't even happened yet.

• 27:52Laci Mosley?

  A man is a scam. Sorry, Jay. A man is a scam. Not a plan, but a scam.

• 27:58Speaker 06

  You are not wrong.

• 27:59Laci Mosley?

  Emily says she loved him too, and to be safe. She sick of his shit. She like, alright. One for three, um, babe.

• 28:10Speaker 06

  One for three.

• 28:14Laci Mosley?

  Bye. Okay, see you later. And so,

• 28:19Laci Mosley?

  he said, "I'll be heading back to shore soon, at 10:49 PM."

• 28:25Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:26Laci Mosley?

  The next morning Emily woke up and he was still gone at 5 AM. She texted, "Where are you?" And babe, and got no answer. Also, like, for me, the texting is very informative. Like, if any of this was serious, why did you call? Like, the texts are giving like, if you're gone, cool, like, what?

• 28:52Speaker 06

  Um, listen, I'm gonna add a new perspective. The texts are kind of feeling like she's like, "Okay, well, if you out, let me go ahead and text my boo, so they can come over." "How long you gonna be, how, how long you gonna be gone? What time you coming home?"

• 29:08Laci Mosley?

  How many hours specifically? And, and also minutes and seconds?

• 29:15Laci Mosley?

  No, no reason, no reason I'm asking. Just tell me how long. The kids already probably know this man is they uncle. She done brought that man around like, "This our uncle."

• 29:24Speaker 06

  Alright, man, he keep coming around the house to fix stuff. Yeah, we got a lot of stuff need fixing.

• 29:28Laci Mosley?

  We gotta go upstairs and play fight real quick. Don't knock on her door.

• 29:32Speaker 06

  Including your mama. Your mama needs fixing too.

• 29:36Laci Mosley?

  Period.

• 29:37Speaker 06

  He gotta work on a bunch of stuff around this house.

• 29:39Laci Mosley?

  He gotta work on, look, there's a lot of parts that need lubricating, and, um...

• 29:46Laci Mosley?

  Don't bother us when we upstairs. We play fighting as adults, okay?

• 29:49Speaker 06

  Ay, y'all turn this video game up loud.

• 29:52Laci Mosley?

  So, Green Lake County Sheriff's Department deputies found his parked van and an overturned kayak and life jacket in the lake area where the water is 200 feet deep. They searched for Ryan's body for 50 days after that, and they found his fishing rod and tackle box, but Ryan himself seemed to have drowned. So he did pick a place that was good for like searching, like...

• 30:24Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I mean...

• 30:25Laci Mosley?

  200 feet deep, they ain't gonna find you.

• 30:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, but this is Watertown. Green Lake, I'm sorry. This is Green Lake. They ain't looking in the lake. They ain't looking in the lake at all. It feels like he got raptured more than he drowned.

• 30:42Laci Mosley?

  Right, cuz he did leave stuff behind.

• 30:46Speaker 06

  He got caught on to glory.

• 30:49Laci Mosley?

  That movie did something to me. Like, you remember all them books about the rapture? And the movies that followed? Like, I was like, if I see some clothes, like shoes and pants and a t-shirt just laying out, I'm like, they got raptured.

• 31:02Speaker 06

  But that also means we naked up there. Until we go get some clothes in heaven, cuz I assume that's when they're passing out the linens. But you don't get your heavenly garments in the transit, so we naked when we floating up.

• 31:17Laci Mosley?

  I don't wanna be naked when I'm floating up. And then we getting white linen? That's what you think is happening?

• 31:23Speaker 06

  I think you get your heavenly garments once you get there and they do the second verification.

• 31:29Laci Mosley?

  I don't know. This might be dark, but every day that I don't wanna put on cute outfits, I remember like, this could be the outfit I die in. So it needs to be cunty, like, so... I'm like, I gotta put on some good clothes, cuz what if I die? I'm in a today.

• 31:45Speaker 06

  I mean, there is... Lacey, I think that your career's been going so well, you could just go, hey, people are gonna like possibly take a photo of me or someone's gonna see me. You could use that angle instead of death. I think that's a motivator that is less stressful.

• 32:01Laci Mosley?

  That's less dramatic, for sure.

• 32:03Speaker 06

  They go, "Ooh, I love the show. Ooh, I love the pod."

• 32:06Laci Mosley?

  Oh, you're healing me. I should try that.

• 32:09Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:10Laci Mosley?

  See, I haven't been, the places I get recognized are always so inconvenient. It'd be like the doctor's office, and they're like, "I love your show," and I'm handing over all my HIPAA information.

• 32:20Speaker 06

  I'm like- Let's be real, because whenever I go, they give my prep every three months. For the past two times I've been in one medical, someone say, "Ah, Andrew." I go, "No, I'm not." And even if I was- Chill out.

• 32:35Laci Mosley?

  Not just going to get your horror medications.

• 32:39Speaker 06

  I'm trying to get my Ho pills.

• 32:41Laci Mosley?

  And they're like, "We recognize you."

• 32:43Speaker 06

  I go, "Oh, boy."

• 32:45Laci Mosley?

  "Let me get your Ho pills real quick. Could you sign this? Could you sign this for me?"

• 32:49Speaker 06

  They go, "Oh, I love the clips." I go, "Well, you know what? I don't love, maybe not, or maybe having gonorrhea." Let's go, let me go to the back real quick.

• 33:02Speaker 06

  Why don't you give me this shot of my butt? What you talking about, some, you love the clips?

• 33:06Laci Mosley?

  Oh, they love the clips, I gotta tell you. So, "The devil went down to Georgia."

• 33:13Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 33:14Laci Mosley?

  "The country."

• 33:15Speaker 06

  Oh, he escaped.

• 33:18Laci Mosley?

  "He was looking for a soul to steal." Remember that song?

• 33:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, Charlie Dance Band. He went to Georgia, the country. That's not like Western Europe, that's like Eastern Europe, almost. Central, Eastern, Georgia's over there.

• 33:34Laci Mosley?

  And what really happened was Ryan kayaked out into the middle of the lake. He texted his wife, threw the phone overboard, and inflated a child-sized raft he had with him. Then he flipped the kayak over and paddled the child raft to the other side of the lake. It took a long time because of the child-sized paddles.

• 33:58Speaker 06

  Okay, it's not funny to leave your family.

• 34:03Laci Mosley?

  It look is funny.

• 34:04Speaker 06

  It is funny to do it like this.

• 34:08Speaker 06

  I'm a student of the classics. I love a good physical bit. Him having to blow this-

• 34:16Laci Mosley?

  He had so much time to think. He's on a child raft with child raft paddles. And the whole time, he's like, yep, this is the right choice. I'm leaving my family.

• 34:26Speaker 06

  I think the only way this is funnier is if he has water wings on the whole time. And he goes, oh, and he flips it over and he's-

• 34:38Laci Mosley?

  I mean, you wanted to leave your family real bad. Honestly, you probably weren't contributing to the family. We've heard from your wife Emily, she was sick of your shit. Like, you weren't contributing.

• 34:50Speaker 06

  And you bought a child raft and didn't even let your kids play with it.

• 34:55Laci Mosley?

  Nope.

• 34:56Speaker 06

  You bought a child raft to leave. They say, oh dad, you buy that for us? Nah, I mean, kinda. It ain't, not in the way you think. Not in the way you think. Not in the way you think. I'm not buying it for you. Oh yeah, I'm buying it for you.

• 35:12Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we're all gonna get a benefit out of it. Don't worry about what that is, right now. But we all gonna benefit from this child raft. He had stashed an e-bike in the woods weeks earlier and rode that for seventy miles through the night to the Wisconsin capital of Madison, where he caught a Greyhound bus to the Canadian border.

• 35:37Speaker 06

  What?

• 35:38Laci Mosley?

  Like, did you take a page out of Harriet Tubman's book? Because this is really escaping to freedom, like-

• 35:47Speaker 06

  Ryan said, follow the drinking gourd. I get it. I understand.

• 35:52Laci Mosley?

  And did. You even, you stashed a bike across this lake with the child boat? You planned this. I noticed that it was giddy as hell. I bet you his family was like, he was so happy before he left. Like, because he planned this out to a T.

• 36:10Speaker 06

  Oh my god, they were like, he really does love these night kayakings.

• 36:14Laci Mosley?

  He was like, I'll take the kids to softball today. Like, he was excited, because he knew he was finna dip out on his family.

• 36:21Speaker 06

  Oh, this definitely, this definitely was a day where he's like, y'all want some McDonald's?

• 36:25Laci Mosley?

  Right. He got McDonald's money on this day specifically, only this day.

• 36:31Speaker 06

  They said, Dad, we're gonna be late for school. Don't worry about that.

• 36:33Laci Mosley?

  Don't worry about that.

• 36:34Speaker 06

  Don't worry about that. I'll come in and sign y'all out.

• 36:37Laci Mosley?

  Border agents were suspicious because he showed up with no phone and no license. They asked if he was married and if he was running away from something, but he said no, so they let him through.

• 36:51Speaker 06

  No, wait. They bad at their job.

• 36:54Laci Mosley?

  I don't know. It's giving insightful. Like, are men constantly thinking about running away from their, like, obligations? Because why is that y'all's first question? Like, hey, you don't got your wallet. Where's your wife at? You running away from her, aren't you?

• 37:10Speaker 06

  I've thought about it. I've dreamed about it. You doing it?

• 37:15Laci Mosley?

  Why is that on the question list? You running away from your family.

• 37:20Speaker 06

  What? How can he have the forethought?

• 37:25Laci Mosley?

  Because he's probably watched a lot of true crime. Like, you can't disappear with your wallet on you and your passport. Then people gonna think you left. Like, it's gotta be like, oh, I went to the lake for fun and the boat turned over and I died.

• 37:40Speaker 06

  Maybe it's because I'm just so... I'm just such a rule follower. I'd be like, you know, it's late.

• 37:50Speaker 06

  I'm mad. I'm mad at him for going to the airport and not having his documents ready.

• 37:56Laci Mosley?

  I mean...

• 37:58Speaker 06

  They let him through?

• 37:58Laci Mosley?

  He didn't go to the airport. He went, he drove to Canada.

• 38:01Speaker 06

  Oh, Cana- oh, Canadian border. Got it, got it, got it. Okay.

• 38:05Laci Mosley?

  Which is easier than TSA.

• 38:07Speaker 06

  Yeah. Okay. I, okay. Now I see this.

• 38:10Laci Mosley?

  And he made it to the Toronto airport. So now he at the airport, like you were saying. And he took a flight to Georgia, the country between Russia and Turkey, where he met a woman from Uzbekistan. He'd found on a dating app. So he...

• 38:25Speaker 06

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Not gay, but worse.

• 38:36Laci Mosley?

  Listen, if he wanted to, he would. This is, this is absolutely an example of that. Like, if your man ain't willing to fake his own death, leave his family, flip a boat over, hide a bike in the woods, drive to Canada, and then get on a flight to Georgia, he don't really like you like that.

• 38:58Speaker 06

  Oh my God, yeah, ladies. You gotta find a man who can commit to you, even if it means he's committing crimes and leaving a family. He's still committing, okay?

• 39:14Laci Mosley?

  If he committing crimes, he's still committing. No, yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 06

  It's a woman, it's a woman in that town that goes.

• 39:20Laci Mosley?

  My standards are way too low. Like, I'm, I'm about to raise them up even higher, 'cause what you mean you ain't gonna fake your own death? Like, what? You don't love me for real. Get out of my face.

• 39:31Speaker 06

  Yeah, y'all got, y'all out here dating men who, who are scared to leave their neighborhood to hang out with y'all.

• 39:38Laci Mosley?

  Dating men who wanna go 50/50 on the bills. No, he going 100% on the life. Okay, he go 100%, he going death. Like, what? No, I'm done. I, I, I'm raising the bar. The bar's in hell, and I'm raising it. 'Cause what do you mean? If you love me, fake your own death.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  Parents and grandparents, if you want a gift that won't be forgotten by New Year's, give a Guardian bike. It's America's favorite kids' bike because most kids learn to ride in just one day. No training wheels needed. They're lightweight and low to the ground with a wide wheelbase for balance. No wonder they have a 4.9 out of 5 star rating with over a million happy riders. They're also designed and assembled in the USA, and they've been the New York Times Wirecutter's top pick four years in a row. This holiday season, save over 40% on kids bikes. Plus get $100 in free accessories, a lock, pump, bell, grips and clamp. That's stocking stuffers covered. They have helmets and adult bikes too, so the whole family can ride. Shop guardianbikes.com.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  That's guardianbikes.com.

• 41:17Speaker 08

  Hi, I'm Jenna Oshkowitz. You might know me from Glee. This is At the Table, the food allergy podcast, a show about food, connection, and what it really looks like to live with food allergies. Each episode, we hear stories from real people like Daniel.

• 41:31Speaker 09

  People would always think I was lactose intolerant, so I just kind of shortened my explanation to I'm deathly allergic in a big way that defined a lot of my childhood.

• 41:42Speaker 08

  And while there are challenges, there are moments that remind you you're not alone.

• 41:47Speaker 10

  One of the best guys that I dated, he made a point to memorize all my food allergies.

• 41:53Speaker 08

  So join us and hear their stories and more, because living with food allergies isn't just about what you can't eat, it's about still having your seat at the table. Brought to you by Genentech and Novartis. Listen to At the Table, the food allergy podcast on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow At the Table and start listening on the free iHeart radio app today.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  This is Joel Larsgaard from How To Money. As someone who travels a lot for work, I really appreciate a premium airport experience. With the Delta SkyMiles Reserve Business American Express Card, it truly feels like you can have it all. For a limited time, new Delta SkyMiles Reserve Business Card members can earn 200,000 bonus miles, the highest miles offered this year.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, card members can also enjoy 15 visits to the Delta Sky Club each medallion year when flying Delta, and you can unlock unlimited Delta Sky Club access after spending $75,000 in purchases on your card during a calendar year. Those are benefits you can get behind. You also get for one time guest passes each medallion year. So you can bring a friend or a colleague along. 15 Sky Club visits plus four guest passes. That's up to $950 in annual value. Value estimate based on $50 per visit rate to purchase additional visits or bring a guest to the Delta Sky Club. It's that kind of premium access that helps you feel right at home and at ease, no matter where you're heading. Apply today at delta.com/podcast.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  Offer ends November 4th. Minimum spending requirements and terms apply.

• 43:24Speaker 06

  This is wild because if he threw the phone, he didn't have a phone. So this woman, this Uzbekistan woman in Georgia is committed to memory. He got it locked up here. He loves this Uzbekistanian woman.

• 43:41Laci Mosley?

  Uzbekistan is so funny.

• 43:43Speaker 06

  He in love with Uzbek.

• 43:47Speaker 06

  He don't, he don't give a fuck what Borat was talking about. He don't care about Kazakhstan.

• 43:50Laci Mosley?

  Period.

• 43:51Speaker 06

  He need a Uzbek boo.

• 43:52Laci Mosley?

  He going over there, okay?

• 43:55Speaker 06

  He said, my oh, my oh, my oh. My Uzbekistanian woman.

• 44:05Laci Mosley?

  Like what she got going on online? That Uzbek boo is this powerful? I need to talk to her. Write the, write the book Uzbek. Write the book because you got some stuff going on.

• 44:17Speaker 06

  She put something on him. She put that pickled hair in on him.

• 44:21Laci Mosley?

  Via web?

• 44:22Speaker 06

  She put that borscht on him.

• 44:24Laci Mosley?

  What kind of gelatins you got over there?

• 44:26Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 44:27Laci Mosley?

  Okay, period. So while Ryan was missing.

• 44:32Speaker 06

  Once you go Uzbek, your family will check to see if you escaped.

• 44:37Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 44:40Laci Mosley?

  So while Ryan was missing and presumed dead, right? His body was suspiciously still not found. A TikTok that might've had him in it went viral. So leave it to TikTok.

• 44:55Speaker 06

  Oh my, the surveillance state helps us once again.

• 45:00Laci Mosley?

  Need advice on anything?

• 45:04Speaker 12

  Do I go to Uzbekistan or stay here?

• 45:07Speaker 08

  Say that one more time?

• 45:08Speaker 12

  Do I go to Uzbekistan or stay here?

• 45:10Laci Mosley?

  And here on the bike.

• 45:11Speaker 08

  Do you have family there?

• 45:13Speaker 12

  No.

• 45:13Speaker 08

  Why do you want to go?

• 45:15Speaker 12

  To meet a woman.

• 45:16Speaker 08

  To meet a woman? And it was Uzbek?

• 45:19Speaker 12

  Uzbekistan.

• 45:21Speaker 08

  Uzbekistan? You don't like American women?

• 45:25Speaker 12

  No, they're familiar.

• 45:27Speaker 06

  What?

• 45:28Laci Mosley?

  What?

• 45:29Speaker 06

  No, they're family, not familiar. That's your wife.

• 45:32Laci Mosley?

  That's family.

• 45:32Speaker 06

  They're not familiar. They're family.

• 45:34Laci Mosley?

  You have offspring, bro. What do you mean? What do you mean? Now you're trying to be a passport, like a passport, bro, and you already have a family. Like, be serious. It's too late for you to do this.

• 45:46Speaker 06

  I'm seeing this video. I see, and the scheme, the scheme energy I saw in the wedding photo, it is present in this bike still. And you pointed out, this motherfucker do love bikes. I'm, oh.

• 46:03Laci Mosley?

  Why you want to be on wheels so much? Where do you need to go so fast?

• 46:07Speaker 06

  You got two feet, huh? Why you always need modes of transportation, Ryan?

• 46:11Laci Mosley?

  People who ride on motorcycles. Like, why do you need to go somewhere so fast and cut through traffic? Because you're a scammer. No.

• 46:19Speaker 06

  This is crazy. He asked, allegedly, allegedly, he asked.

• 46:25Laci Mosley?

  He know he already had the plan lined up. And he was like, I just need one person to confirm. He couldn't tell. And you know what? This makes sense too, because he couldn't tell none of his friends, his family. If he had told anybody that he was planning this escape, they would have known. So, he does need to talk to strangers, because who else he gonna talk to about it?

• 46:43Speaker 06

  And, I'm gonna say this. You old lecherous buzzard, you hitting on this little girl too. I don't like the energy you giving her.

• 46:53Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:55Speaker 06

  I'm looking at this photo.

• 46:56Laci Mosley?

  He like, do you wanna go with me like?

• 46:58Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 46:59Laci Mosley?

  You just hired for anybody, you just giving it out.

• 47:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm real, yeah, what the hell? Ryan, I'm, I'm mad. I'm, is this, this is silly and funny? But you, oh, dirty dog.

• 47:12Laci Mosley?

  Dirty ass dog. And the Green Lake Sheriff's Office said on his Facebook page, they believe the person in the video was not Ryan, just another similar looking guy who was thinking about leaving his wife for an Eastern European woman he met online. Okay, y'all really doing bros before hoes? Because that's a lot of specifics to be like, it's not him. No, it's just a similar guy with the same story and the same motivation. And, and he looked exactly like him, but it's not him.

• 47:40Speaker 06

  And he's asking about that specific country. Yeah, why y'all running interference on this? This is wild. Is this, is this Wisconsin?

• 47:49Laci Mosley?

  Right. So during the search, investigators scoured the lake using divers, drones, sonar, and cadaver canines. They were, and cadaver canines, if you don't know, is a dog that can smell like a dead body. There was like nearly like daily drone searches. A volunteer search organization called Bruce's Legacy metathetically searched approximately like 1,500 acres and sifted through hours and hours of sonar data and images when they still found no body. They started to suspect foul play. Police traced the real Ryan's movements by using data on a laptop he left behind.

• 48:33Laci Mosley?

  They saw that he had been talking to a woman named Katia.

• 48:37Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:38Laci Mosley?

  He'd met on a dating website since 2023.

• 48:42Speaker 06

  Katia? I knew RuPaul's Drag Race was responsible for this somehow. I knew it. I knew somehow Paramount, CBS, the merger.

• 48:54Laci Mosley?

  Let me call Trixie.

• 48:56Speaker 06

  VH1, MTV.

• 48:58Laci Mosley?

  We know where you stay.

• 48:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, Katia, I'm upset.

• 49:02Laci Mosley?

  So by February of 2024, they had become close friends, him and Katia, and began researching how to fake his own death that April.

• 49:13Speaker 06

  Oh, my God.

• 49:14Laci Mosley?

  They learned pretty quickly that he had taken out a life insurance policy, applied for a replacement passport, and reversed his vasectomy three months before his disappearance. So you got three kids.

• 49:27Speaker 06

  Reverse?

• 49:28Laci Mosley?

  And your wife says, shut that dick off. Shut it off.

• 49:34Speaker 06

  You remember how we used to hit the wall on them folks?

• 49:36Laci Mosley?

  Right, like, uh, like, it was like, put that dick away.

• 49:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's what they did with his vas deferens.

• 49:43Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they, they cut his vas deferens off, like, whoa. And then he wouldn't got it uncut.

• 49:49Speaker 06

  He, he.

• 49:50Laci Mosley?

  Meaning he was planning to have more offspring. Bro, you don't take care of the kids you got. Why you trying to get Katia pregnant?

• 49:58Speaker 06

  Them kids. Yeah, you done took a kink out the garden hose. And now you gonna go have some, some Uzbekistan Georgian babies.

• 50:06Laci Mosley?

  Uzbeki babies.

• 50:07Speaker 06

  Uzbeki babies.

• 50:08Laci Mosley?

  You don't even want to take care of your American babies.

• 50:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, why you, you running off with Uzbeki with the good hair?

• 50:14Laci Mosley?

  That's what it is. Uzbeki with the good hair.

• 50:16Speaker 06

  You running off with Uzbeki with the good hair.

• 50:19Laci Mosley?

  Right, right.

• 50:20Speaker 06

  Cause you think this family isn't important? Man, shout out to Emily, cause girl, you stronger than me.

• 50:26Laci Mosley?

  Ooh, child.

• 50:27Speaker 06

  Emily, I hope Emily was getting something on the side too. Like I said, I hope some man was coming over to work on that house.

• 50:33Laci Mosley?

  I hope there was an uncle who was coming over and working on everything, including Emily.

• 50:38Speaker 06

  Every couple of weeks, Emily had to go see a man about a horse. That's what I hope.

• 50:42Laci Mosley?

  Period, okay? That's what Emily deserves, okay? Emily, you should have been putting that drain out in, in that meatloaf that she was making, okay? Like, oh, kids, this not for you. This daddy piece. He get the biggest piece of meatloaf.

• 50:57Laci Mosley?

  Why is it blue? Don't worry about that, you know, like, she need to get out of there. The, the, the women are telling me they can grow stuff in the garden for poachers as well, like, you know. Sometimes you gotta get somebody up out of there, like, I don't know.

• 51:11Speaker 06

  I'm trying to do something a little different. You don't like, you, you don't want to try some new food?

• 51:17Laci Mosley?

  No, the bluer it is, the better it tastes. Like, you need to eat that.

• 51:22Speaker 06

  You ain't cultured, you never been nowhere. He's saying, "I'm about to go somewhere." What was that?

• 51:26Laci Mosley?

  Oh, to Georgia? Oh, okay.

• 51:29Speaker 06

  Shout out to Gladys Knight. This man took a midnight train to Georgia.

• 51:32Laci Mosley?

  He did.

• 51:32Speaker 06

  The country.

• 51:33Laci Mosley?

  He took a midnight bike to Georgia.

• 51:37Laci Mosley?

  Which honestly-

• 51:38Speaker 06

  He's going back to find. Oh, my God.

• 51:40Laci Mosley?

  Going back to find. Different place and time. Gotta uncut my penis. Okay, cool. So, they found Katya's email address and sent emails to her with the subject, "Call us. Very important." It worked. In November, Ryan sent back a video of himself saying, "I'm in my apartment. I am safe, secure. There's no problem." Over a month of emailing back and forth, investigators convinced him to return to Wisconsin, largely by pleading with him to do right by his family. He flew back to the US in December. So, let's see.

• 52:20Speaker 06

  Wait a minute, wait a minute. The police, the police. The way they got him back, it said, "You ain't shit, piece of..." Bring your, bring your dog ass back here.

• 52:30Laci Mosley?

  Bring your bitch ass back to the stage. You know you got a family.

• 52:34Speaker 06

  You know you're in the wrong.

• 52:35Laci Mosley?

  And put your vast difference away. You already got a family.

• 52:40Speaker 06

  They said they pleaded.

• 52:42Laci Mosley?

  Well, we know you out here doing shenanigans.

• 52:45Speaker 13

  Three faked his own death and fled to Eastern Europe. They found he'd been chatting with a woman online. And this morning, we're getting a glimpse into his new life overseas and new details of his escape. Details he shared with investigators.

• 53:00Speaker 14

  Good evening. It's Ryan Borgwardt.

• 53:02Speaker 13

  This morning, new video of the Wisconsin father of three who police say faked his death and fled the country.

• 53:08Speaker 14

  Today is November 11th. It's approximately 10 a.m. by you guys.

• 53:16Laci Mosley?

  Why he trying to act like he a hostage? You ran away from your family. You not a hostage.

• 53:22Speaker 14

  Safe, secure, no problem.

• 53:25Speaker 06

  Hope this works. You hope this works? What you hoping works? That we get more mad at you?

• 53:33Speaker 06

  You want George Stephanopoulos to agree with you? You want Robin Roberts?

• 53:38Laci Mosley?

  I mean-

• 53:39Speaker 06

  At 7 a.m. in the morning be like, "Oh, he seems like a good dude." What the hell is this supposed to do?

• 53:43Laci Mosley?

  I'm not a parent. I'm not a parent, but I am an older sister by 13 years from the youngest. And I know what it's like to deal with children. And I'm sure this is a fantasy of many parents who don't know what they're getting into. Like, I could just leave the country and start a new life.

• 54:04Speaker 06

  Do you, uh, my mama told me many times when I turned 30. She said, "Baby, if Michael Jordan would've called, I would've dropped you and your siblings off at the fire station." But he didn't.

• 54:14Laci Mosley?

  It would've been a cute basket. I would've put hella blankets in it. Like, you guys to go.

• 54:20Speaker 06

  Let's be serious. This man, he had to be convinced by the Green Lake and Watertown Sheriff's Department to just come back and stop being such a piece of shit.

• 54:33Laci Mosley?

  And like, what's that conversation? "Hey, Brian, it's, it's the Sheriff's Department."

• 54:38Speaker 06

  Hey, man.

• 54:38Laci Mosley?

  Like, man, look, we all hate our families.

• 54:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 54:41Laci Mosley?

  We all hate our families. You come hang out with us. We, on Thursdays, we have a happy hour where we hate our families, where we talk about how much we hate them and our wives. Like, but come on back. Like, you already, you did it. You got a family now, so.

• 54:55Speaker 06

  Yeah, I mean-

• 54:56Laci Mosley?

  Come hate them at home.

• 54:57Speaker 06

  I know the town's small, but, eh, man, I'ma tell you, hey, man, it, it's, it's, it's some good pussy here in Green Lake. You don't got to go off-

• 55:05Laci Mosley?

  You don't got to Uzbekistan to cheat.

• 55:08Speaker 06

  Uzbekistan?

• 55:09Laci Mosley?

  That's too far away.

• 55:11Speaker 06

  You know that's not what we do. What do we do? We stay married to our wives, and we have long affairs, and the women show up at our funeral, and then they can have the fight while we are already in the ground.

• 55:24Laci Mosley?

  We're already dead. And, and you can fuck us too. We, we-

• 55:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 55:28Laci Mosley?

  Have sex with men, like-

• 55:31Speaker 06

  There you go. I seen the wedding photo. We, we, I'll suck your dick.

• 55:35Laci Mosley?

  That's manly, the manliest thing you could do.

• 55:38Speaker 06

  We just, we just hanging out. But you can't, hey man, you can't, you can't up and leave them.

• 55:43Laci Mosley?

  But you can't leave your family, like you went too far, you doing too much.

• 55:46Speaker 06

  You making us look bad, now my wife must, you, you be gone a lot at night too. No, you blowing all our spots up, Ryan.

• 55:52Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we used to all be able to go out at night, and now they worried that we not gonna come back. Yeah, we cheating, but like, now they worried about it.

• 56:01Speaker 06

  We cheating, but we come back home, we come back home.

• 56:05Laci Mosley?

  That's the fundamental core of cheating, is you come back home.

• 56:09Speaker 06

  And you come back home mad, you mad, you look at her.

• 56:13Laci Mosley?

  You mad, you have, you pick a fight, and then you go to sleep, and you don't talk to nobody for a few days. That's what we do. You blowing up the spot, everybody looking at us crazy. We can't even have our Thursday night manly fu- fucking session, but also the cheating and, and we can't even do it right now, cuz they worried about you. Going to Uzbekistan is crazy.

• 56:36Speaker 06

  That's cra- imagine, you hate your wife so much, you go, you hate your wife so much, you get, you say, oh, let me move next to Russia. I said, this bitch tripping, this have to get on my nerves.

• 56:47Laci Mosley?

  You hate your wife so much, you move to Uzbekistan, bro.

• 56:53Laci Mosley?

  Emily, leave this man, I'm sorry, like, you can't stay with him, cuz why would he do that?

• 56:58Speaker 06

  This man is wild, most men, all it take, you, you just gotta let them build a shed. You gotta maybe let them have a man cave, let him get a Corvette.

• 57:09Laci Mosley?

  Uzbekistan.

• 57:10Speaker 06

  Let him get a motorcycle.

• 57:12Laci Mosley?

  He hated John. Yeah, he hated John, for real.

• 57:16Speaker 06

  God, ooh.

• 57:17Laci Mosley?

  And so before they booked Ryan into jail, Green Lake investigators asked him during a three-hour interview why he did it. He said he felt like a failure, saying later in the interview that he has accumulated about seventy-five thousand dollars in credit card debt, and a hundred and thirty thousand in business debt. He said he didn't have a good relationship with his wife, clearly.

• 57:42Laci Mosley?

  We not shocked about that, and his children didn't want anything to do with him anymore, which obviously your bad vibes, like.

• 57:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, I mean, you piece of shit.

• 57:52Laci Mosley?

  I'mma give him this one thing, and this is the bars in hell, the bars in hell.

• 57:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 57:58Laci Mosley?

  But a lot of times when specifically white men are in this financial position with their family, they'll kill the whole family. They'll family annihilate.

• 58:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 58:08Laci Mosley?

  He annihilated himself and left the family alone. I'm glad he didn't kill everybody, so.

• 58:15Speaker 06

  Ryan, we can't.

• 58:15Laci Mosley?

  That's the bar isn't held, but like.

• 58:17Speaker 06

  We can't give you your tens. I'mma give you your point fives. You didn't murder these people.

• 58:22Laci Mosley?

  And, and we're glad that you didn't. You take lives away because of your own failures because we know people of your ilk, that's like their go to playbook. Like, mm, I'm not doing well in lifetime to kill everybody, I know.

• 58:34Speaker 06

  Lacey said, Lacey said, the milk ilk, y'all be killing folks.

• 58:39Laci Mosley?

  And look, everybody of every race be killing folks, but the arbitrary killing, that's one that's been solely assigned to y'all. Y'all just be killing anybody. Like, it don't even matter, like.

• 58:52Speaker 06

  Uh, but I mean, here's the wild part. The convincing worked. He came back and then he said, man, I don't know why y'all want me back. They don't even like me.

• 59:04Laci Mosley?

  We clearly know they don't like your ass. Your wife was not even looking for you that hard. It don't sound like she put up a single poster on like a lamppost or, or nothing.

• 59:14Speaker 06

  Lacey, Lacey, she's, she said, well, he's not under the bed. I don't know what to tell y'all.

• 59:18Laci Mosley?

  Well.

• 59:20Laci Mosley?

  He disappeared, I guess. Like, she wasn't posting nothing up about you. There, there was no vigil. Nobody bought a candle for your ass.

• 59:28Speaker 06

  Someone said, how's Emily holding up? I saw Emily at the club.

• 59:31Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, she was turning up.

• 59:34Speaker 06

  She looks younger. She, she glowing, oh my God.

• 59:38Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. Better?

• 59:40Speaker 06

  How the kids doing? They doing better in school. They less stressed.

• 59:44Laci Mosley?

  Thriving.

• 59:45Speaker 06

  What a, what a made varsity.

• 59:46Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they seem really happy. I.

• 59:52Laci Mosley?

  I think I went to a rally, they were like, "Stop looking." It was a "stop looking" rally? They said, "Stop looking for him."

• 59:59Speaker 06

  They said, "We're good."

• 1:00:01Laci Mosley?

  Please, stop looking.

• 1:00:03Speaker 06

  "We're good."

• 1:00:04Laci Mosley?

  We don't want him to be found.

• 1:00:07Speaker 06

  "Don't save him."

• 1:00:09Laci Mosley?

  They don't wanna be saved.

• 1:00:11Speaker 06

  Don't save him.

• 1:00:14Laci Mosley?

  So, this is a quote, it says, "I think just the inability, like, the inability to feel like you could talk to your wife about some of this stuff."

• 1:00:23Speaker 06

  Oh, Lord.

• 1:00:23Laci Mosley?

  Like, that's what, uh, Ryan said. And he called the plan his crazy emotional dream. Ryan said he hoped that he could avoid detection long enough to be declared legally dead. At that point, he planned to apply for citizenship in Georgia, but hadn't figured out how to do that if he was declared dead. Yeah, the math on math on that, cuz you can't be dead and a citizen. Like, wha- wha- what are you trying to do? So, throughout the interview with detectives, Ryan kept asking whether Katia was in trouble, you know, his Uzbekistanian boot bag. He said he would like to return to her

• 1:01:05Laci Mosley?

  because the cost of living is so much cheaper in Georgia than the US.

• 1:01:10Speaker 06

  Oh, my God.

• 1:01:11Laci Mosley?

  Okay, this is a recession indicator. Family annihilators ain't even annihilating the family no more. They're like, "That's too expensive." I'm just gonna disappear to Uzbekistan.

• 1:01:21Speaker 06

  I can't bow that rope. What? That is business.

• 1:01:24Laci Mosley?

  I'm just gonna go to Uzbekistan. It's way better cost of living.

• 1:01:29Speaker 06

  Oh, my God. Also, you came back and you said, "Oh, by the way, Katia ain't in trouble, right?"

• 1:01:38Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 1:01:39Speaker 06

  What?

• 1:01:40Laci Mosley?

  And he ain't even asking because he cares about Katia. He asking cuz he wanna go back to Katia. He's like, "Is she gonna be in the prison?" Because that's my boot bag, so I-

• 1:01:49Speaker 06

  Emily, slap this man. You gotta slap him. The- the police gonna get- let you get one slap. You know how whenever you see the police handcuff a- Man and he's like done wrong by the wife and the police will let you get one slap. Now you can try to.

• 1:02:08Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Speaker 06

  Stop.

• 1:02:09Laci Mosley?

  I mean.

• 1:02:09Speaker 06

  You get you one good arrest slap. Emily, you gotta slap fire at this man for asking, is Katya in trouble?

• 1:02:19Laci Mosley?

  He asked about his kids? He asked about his wife? He, sir, be si- be serious.

• 1:02:27Speaker 06

  This man, that, you talk about wilding, this man is a wild, Katya ain't in trouble, right? What?

• 1:02:34Laci Mosley?

  Cause I need to go back over there, cause the cost of living is cheaper. Like, listen, this is a recession indicator. He was like, eggs are too expensive. I have to fake my death and leave my family.

• 1:02:43Speaker 06

  Oh my god.

• 1:02:45Laci Mosley?

  This is what it's come to. These are rational choices we have to make right now in this economy. Like, you can keep being with your family and loving them, or you could fake your own death and go to Uzbekistan. And honestly, that's starting to look good. That's starting to look like an option that we should consider.

• 1:03:03Speaker 06

  You know what? I'm calling it right now. Let's think, we ideate, we come up with a good pitch outline, but we make it kind of eat, pray, love. Where someone does this, but it turns out, okay.

• 1:03:19Speaker 06

  It's kind of cute. It, he, I mean, okay, we have.

• 1:03:23Laci Mosley?

  Why was he trying to get that lady pregnant again, though? Like, it's giving you get women pregnant to trap them. Because why, why you up here untangling your vast difference so you can have some more kids? You got three kids.

• 1:03:36Speaker 06

  He wanted to have his Emily in Paris moment.

• 1:03:40Laci Mosley?

  Mm-mm. He was trying to trap our Uzbekistanian queen so he could stay over there.

• 1:03:45Speaker 06

  Wait, cause, wait a second. Yeah, you trying to have a Uzbekian anchor baby? Cause you got, you got the, you got the vasectomy reversed and the wife didn't know?

• 1:03:56Laci Mosley?

  You was crazy for that. And at the end of the interview, he asked the detectives if he could use the Justice Center's wifi to let Katia know he was okay.

• 1:04:07Speaker 06

  Oh my god.

• 1:04:08Laci Mosley?

  One of the deputies told Ryan he emailed her for him. It's unclear if the deputies actually did email her. But they're like, "Bro, you tripping. What you mean you wanna use our wifi to tell your Uzbekistanian lover that you cheating with that you okay? What about your wife? What about your kids?"

• 1:04:24Speaker 06

  You're crazy. Ryan, you're in jail, by the way. Hey, can I, um, can I, yo, can?

• 1:04:34Laci Mosley?

  I gotta call Bay real quick.

• 1:04:35Speaker 06

  Can, um, what's the wifi password? For what? I gotta see if Katia's okay, huh?

• 1:04:41Laci Mosley?

  What?

• 1:04:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, I gotta, I gotta make sure that, you know, my love is all right, okay?

• 1:04:47Laci Mosley?

  My man, my man, my man, my baby, my baby.

• 1:04:50Speaker 06

  Actually, you know what? Write, write a note for her. Fold it up, I'mma send it to her.

• 1:04:55Laci Mosley?

  Like, be for real, sorry.

• 1:04:57Speaker 06

  Bro.

• 1:04:59Laci Mosley?

  And Ryan pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of obstruction, which is obviously connected to him faking his own death. Prosecutors asked the Green Lake County Circuit Judge Mark State, or Mark Slate, to sentence Ryan to just forty-five days in jail. But the judge doubled it, sentencing him to eighty-nine days, the same number of days from when he was declared missing until the sheriff's department made contact with him overseas. The judge said it should be a deterrent to other people. See, the manosphere is really manosphere-ing right now. They said, "We all wanna leave our family."

• 1:05:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Laci Mosley?

  It's giving jealousy. It's giving jealousy that he's made attempts.

• 1:05:44Speaker 06

  He said, "You don't think I'm gonna leave my wife and these ugly ass kids every day? No, I'm a man."

• 1:05:49Laci Mosley?

  I hate everybody in my family, but I'm a man. So I drink beers and be sad, but I don't leave my family. Now you gotta go to jail for eighty-nine days to remember you don't leave your family that you made.

• 1:06:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'mma lock you up for eighty-nine days, cuz you was away for eighty-nine day- Okay, so I, wait, Judge, just so I'm clear, my family ain't gonna be in jail right? No, okay, I'm good.

• 1:06:11Laci Mosley?

  He get another vacation. He get another vacation.

• 1:06:15Speaker 06

  I'm good. That is funny.

• 1:06:18Laci Mosley?

  What if the judge was like, being a homie and was like, yeah, but you get, I'ma give you eight and nine so you can get away from your family for even longer? Just a little bit longer.

• 1:06:27Speaker 06

  Man, the judge come up to him whispering, "Man, I know she tripping, man."

• 1:06:30Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, yeah, no, we hate, we hate.

• 1:06:33Speaker 06

  I mean, a real judge would've said, "Nah, you sit your dumb ass at home with them kids for eight, for the, forever."

• 1:06:39Laci Mosley?

  Right, cuz the real prison sentence honestly seems to be being with his family.

• 1:06:44Speaker 06

  Yeah. Lock him up in a cage at home.

• 1:06:49Laci Mosley?

  That's where he really served a time. Y'all should've gave him house arrest cuz then he would have to be with his family. That's the punishment he needs. Clearly, he hated over there. He also had to pay thirty thousand dollars to Green Lake County to reimburse them for the cost of searching for him.

• 1:07:07Speaker 06

  Lacy, Lacy, we know this nigga ain't got it.

• 1:07:13Speaker 06

  Seventy-five thousand worth of credit card debt, a hundred thousand worth of business card debt, they said on top of that, we need another thirty bands. He said, "I told y'all, I'm good."

• 1:07:21Laci Mosley?

  That's honestly not enough debt to leave your family in the country for. Like, you could've made that work. Chapter eleven bankruptcy or something. Like, what do you, what do you mean you left for that much? That's not enough. For a hundred seventy-five thousand dollars? Be serious. You finna figure that out?

• 1:07:37Speaker 06

  First day out, Ryan gonna sound like thug. Didn't nobody give me nothing when I was in jail. Y'all didn't check on me.

• 1:07:43Laci Mosley?

  Emily, poor Emily.

• 1:07:45Speaker 06

  Emily and Maria are the scientists.

• 1:07:46Laci Mosley?

  She, she did file for divorce in December, two days after Ryan returned to the US. So when she knew he was alive, it well, she was like, "Well, I'ma get this divorce."

• 1:07:57Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 1:07:59Laci Mosley?

  Baby, you was already divorced. This man was never your husband. I can guarantee.

• 1:08:04Speaker 06

  You were a widow for a hot minute. For eighty-nine days, you was a widow.

• 1:08:08Laci Mosley?

  And that's why she was like, oh, I need this divorce. Cause like, it was gonna be cool if he just died.

• 1:08:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:14Laci Mosley?

  Also, like, if he had life insurance, I would have been pissed off that he ain't dead. Like, we was gonna be set up. You mean to tell me you alive? You coming back and alive it on me?

• 1:08:24Speaker 06

  You know, and I'm gonna say this, now I'm looking at the picture. Yo goofy ass was lucky to be with Emily. Emily looks like she's delightful. Yo goofy ass taking these photos, looking goofy on your wedding day and pulling some goofy ass shit like that.

• 1:08:38Laci Mosley?

  And look at these kids. These kids look happy. You know in the picture when everybody's leaning in and touching each other? They had a nice childhood. Emily done made a nice childhood for these babies.

• 1:08:51Speaker 06

  Had the big Crayola box.

• 1:08:53Laci Mosley?

  My kids don't like me. They don't like you because you a bad vibe. You a weirdo. It's your fault.

• 1:09:00Speaker 06

  I'm mad. Ryan, you done pissed me off today. Emily didn't deserve this.

• 1:09:04Laci Mosley?

  Ryan, this ain't even a good scam. This ain't even a good scam. First of all, you done let the police convince you to come back home. So, you gave up the scam. You ain't even get the Uzbeki lady you was trying to be with. Like, and now you in jail for eighty-nine days. Like, and then you gotta go back to your family. Like, what you accomplished?

• 1:09:24Speaker 06

  You looking dumb over some Uzbek booty.

• 1:09:28Laci Mosley?

  Uzbeki booty. And you didn't even get that booty.

• 1:09:31Speaker 06

  You didn't even get it for long. Oh, my God. And now your goofy ass gotta come back home. I'm sorry. He got caught because they said, "Ryan, we know it's you." No, you don't. Ryan.

• 1:09:43Laci Mosley?

  No, Ryan, we know it's you. No, no, no, listen.

• 1:09:50Laci Mosley?

  And for all the work that he did, like, bro, you faked your own drowning. You got a kid's lifeboat with tiny little oars that took you hours to row over to a bicycle, that then you rode the bicycle, and then, and then you left the country. You did all of this.

• 1:10:10Speaker 06

  Oh, my god.

• 1:10:11Laci Mosley?

  E-bike for seventy miles, bro. You did all of this just to return to the country and be a loser? I'm disappointed in you, because what kind of scheme is this?

• 1:10:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, how the hell can you, like, bike for seventy miles, but you can't, I don't know, you can't just be like, hey, let's, let's take a break for a little bit in America? What?

• 1:10:32Laci Mosley?

  This is goofy as hell.

• 1:10:34Speaker 06

  Masculinity is a prison. Masculinity is a prison, because you telling me you'd rather, you'd rather fake your own death than have like an actual heart-to-heart with your wife? That's crazy.

• 1:10:45Laci Mosley?

  That's literally it, and it's a prison that men have made for themselves.

• 1:10:50Speaker 06

  Oh, my god.

• 1:10:51Laci Mosley?

  Y'all put yourself in the masculinity prison.

• 1:10:53Speaker 06

  This la, this, this internet lady, they got your penis whacked a little hard, and now you ready to throw it all away? What?

• 1:11:01Laci Mosley?

  Uzbekistan?

• 1:11:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, I mean...

• 1:11:04Laci Mosley?

  Also, he went and had surgery reversed for this lady.

• 1:11:08Speaker 06

  You...

• 1:11:09Laci Mosley?

  You went and let them play with your penis again because of this lady, because he wanted to trap her with a baby.

• 1:11:15Speaker 06

  Reverse vasectomy? You got the vasectomy reversed? You'd rather do that than be like, hey, let's have a talk. I'm in like some really hard trouble. Okay, well, what I need? I don't know what to do.

• 1:11:27Laci Mosley?

  Literally, you could have been like, hey, the businesses are failing. We're gonna have to tighten up on groceries and stuff this month, but I'm gonna work it out. You couldn't have that conversation, so much so, that you got in a boat, and then got in a raft, and then got on an e-bike for seventy miles, then crossed the border, then flew to Uzbekistan. It, like, really?

• 1:11:50Speaker 06

  Faking your own death when you could just picked up a couple extra ships? Hey, you could have been, you could have been...

• 1:11:58Laci Mosley?

  That's too embarrassing, that's too embarrassing. The natural choice is to fake my own death.

• 1:12:03Speaker 06

  You can't be a, you can't be an Uber driver for a little bit while you clean this shit out?

• 1:12:08Laci Mosley?

  No, no, it's time to fake my death. Anytime I got a problem faking the death is what the solution is.

• 1:12:16Speaker 06

  This is why I am blown away and also just how scared he is too. Cause guess what? It took one person to be like, Ryan, get your ass over here.

• 1:12:26Laci Mosley?

  Ryan, you gonna fly back because they called you?

• 1:12:29Speaker 06

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:12:30Laci Mosley?

  Like, you could have just hung up the phone. Not to quote Tyler, the creator, I know he's weird sometimes, but like if online is bullying you, close your eyes, like you don't have to take it in, like why, you could have hung up the phone.

• 1:12:45Speaker 06

  Lazy, guess what? We don't even get to do this story if Ryan just says, no.

• 1:12:51Laci Mosley?

  That's all he had to do is be like, Emily, I'm, I'm gonna be right back over there. Hold on and hang up.

• 1:12:57Speaker 06

  Oh, wait a second, where, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, let me get you all my new info.

• 1:13:00Laci Mosley?

  But honestly, that was men using the toxicity for good. They were like, nah, we all suffer together. Get your bitch ass back over here and hate your family in person like we do. Like, why are you trying to leave?

• 1:13:12Speaker 06

  Hate your family in person, yeah, yeah, you think I, look, hey, come in here. You think I like these, you think I like these ugly ass kids I got? No.

• 1:13:20Laci Mosley?

  I hate them, but I have honor in my heart, so I hate them in person. That's what you're supposed to do. Get your bitch ass back over here to the States.

• 1:13:29Speaker 06

  Oh, my God, Ryan. I've never seen someone who wanted to become an international criminal so little. They said, we know you over there. Okay.

• 1:13:39Laci Mosley?

  Okay, I'm gonna come back, all right. But we always ask at the end of the show, Jay, is there anywhere you'd like to be found? Social media, anything you want to promote, shows, anything?

• 1:13:53Speaker 06

  You can find me on all social media at Jay Jurden, J A Y J U R D E N. Um, on all of the social media sites, including the crazy ones. And go to JayJourden.com for tickets. I'm gonna be on tour throughout 2026 with a new material. It's an entirely new hour, so you can watch the special and can see me live. It'll be two different hours.

• 1:14:16Laci Mosley?

  A real hour, not a scam.

• 1:14:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm not bringing five people up on stage. You be like, they all gonna do 15. Fifteen, three people do fifteen hours, forty-five minutes. Yeah, so no, y'all have to worry about that.

• 1:14:27Laci Mosley?

  I love that. And as always, like, uh...

• 1:14:30Speaker 06

  Oh, I forgot to promote my show. I'm doing a show, one night only, in Uzbekistan. I am, I'm going to Uzbekistan to do a show.

• 1:14:43Laci Mosley?

  Y'all, even if you're in Uzbekistan, the book Scam Goddess, you can get it, download it if you like audio. You can buy it in, uh, hard copy, wherever you like to get your books. Going Dutch, January fifteenth, so we're airing right now, like, watch the show. Um, Conway, she's not a scammer, she is.

• 1:15:03Laci Mosley?

  And Diva Lacy, D-I-V-A-L-A-C-I, Diva Lacy on our platform, Scam Goddess Pod, if you want to see the photos or anything from this episode. And y'all, on Apple Podcasts, go ahead and leave a little cute review, okay? Do something nice for a black woman. That could be your activism for the day, is write a nice review on Apple Podcasts. We appreciate you. And congregation, I want y'all to get out there and I want y'all to keep faking your death. Sometimes, problems are too hard to surmount. And the rational solution is to fake your own death, okay?

• 1:15:36Speaker 06

  With that, go night yakking. I'm about to, you know what?

• 1:15:39Laci Mosley?

  Go night yakking!

• 1:15:40Speaker 06

  I might have some yak tonight. Watch the special, Jay Jurden, Yes Ma'am, on Hulu, and Amazon Prime and Apple TV Plus now, too. But yeah, have some night yak.

• 1:15:50Laci Mosley?

  Have some night yak! You need that, you need that. Amen.

• 1:15:58Laci Mosley?

  Scam Goddess! Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros, and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.

• 1:16:16Speaker 00

  OnDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star TrustPilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 1:16:45Speaker 03

  Parents and grandparents, if you want a gift that won't be forgotten by New Year's, give a Guardian Bike. Guardian Bikes are built just for kids. Lightweight, low to the ground, with a wide wheelbase for balance. Most kids learn to ride in just one day. No training wheels needed. Their patented SureStop Brake stops both wheels with a single lever, helping prevent head-over-handlebar falls. It's the number one kids' bike on the market, designed and assembled in the USA, and the New York Times Wirecutter's top pick four years in a row. This holiday, save over 40% on kids' bikes, plus get $100 in free accessories. A lock, pump, bell, grips, and clamp. The stocking stuffers, covered.

• 1:17:27Speaker 03

  They have helmets and adult bikes, too, so the whole family can ride. Join over a million happy riders at guardianbikes.com. That's guardianbikes.com.

• 1:17:38Speaker 15

  She's been thinking about this sleepover all week, but I think about her food allergies all the time. Fortunately, her doctor prescribed Zolair, omalizumab. It's proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens.

• 1:17:51Speaker 16

  Zolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people one year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Zolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Zolair. Zolair may cause a severe, life-threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Zolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Zolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis, while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection, or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see zolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Zolair.

• 1:18:34Speaker 16

  This is an advertisement for Zolair, paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

• 1:18:39Speaker 17

  Relax and get ready for bed with Dr. Teal's Magnesium Spray. Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt. Dr. Teal's Magnesium Spray is designed to help you unwind and get in a nighttime state of mind. Dr. Teal's Magnesium Spray is wellness you can feel, and you can find it in your local bath aisle. Dr. Teal's. Yep, you needed that.