886. Q&AF: Handling Haters, How To Trust Yourself & Correcting Company Culture

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to handle hater comments as an ambitious teenager, how to trust yourself more than other people’s opinions, and what steps to take to correct company culture when you have older employees who are set in their ways.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, are you guys done over there? Okay, guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. You know, the deal. All right. You could submit your questions multiple different ways. The first way is- Guys, email these questions into [email protected]. Or you go on YouTube, drop your question in the comments, or click that link underneath

• 0:56Andy Frisella?

  the video and you can call in the show. All right. So we want to hear from you. So anyway,

• 1:04Andy Frisella?

  we got multiple shows here. All right. Tomorrow, we're going to have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's our comedy, social events, crazy world show. All right. I don't know what you want to call it. It's a variety show. Okay.

• 1:22Andy Frisella?

  We put topics on the screen. We speculate what's true, what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, the good citizens of the United States and the world have to fix these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk's five 20 minutes and be giving you some real talk. And then we're going to have 75 hard verses, 75 hard verses where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they turned their life around using the 75 hard program. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard program, it is the initial phase of the live hard program, which is available for free at episode 208. It is the world's most popular mental toughness program ever. Get it for

• 2:07Andy Frisella?

  free on the audio feed, episode 208. There's also a book called the book on mental toughness, which includes the entire program, plus a whole bunch of extra content. That is not free. You can get it at andyforcella.com. And uh, yeah, we got some big stuff coming down the pipe. So keep your eye out on that. It might include some books that I mentioned a few weeks ago. So anyway, uh, we don't run ads.

• 2:34Andy Frisella?

  We appreciate your help sharing the show.

• 2:37Andy Frisella?

  So don't be a hoe.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Let's share the show.

• 2:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. How about that? Let's pull that one right out of my pocket.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did.

• 2:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:45Andy Frisella?

  What's up, man?

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Oh, nothing much, man. You know, um, dude, we do got a lot of stuff coming. We got Summer Smash coming up.

• 2:52Andy Frisella?

  Summer Smash this week?

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's gonna be crazy. Is it this? No, it's next week.

• 2:57Andy Frisella?

  It's this week.

• 3:00Andy Frisella?

  The show comes out on Monday.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:04Andy Frisella?

  Is Summer Smash, oh, is it two weeks from now?

• 3:05Speaker 01

  It's two weeks.

• 3:06Andy Frisella?

  Oh, is it? Oh, my bad.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Bro, you almost, I almost shit my pants.

• 3:09Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, me too.

• 3:13Andy Frisella?

  Alright, two weeks.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got two weeks though, but I mean, it's a lot of planning that goes into that, man, to deliver a great, uh, great experience.

• 3:19Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  It'll be sick.

• 3:20Andy Frisella?

  10th anniversary Summer Smash.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Number 10, dude. Geez.

• 3:24Andy Frisella?

  Yep.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Geez. What was, what was the first one like?

• 3:29Andy Frisella?

  Dude, we, we came up with the idea in like, at the end of April and like, did it at the beginning of June.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Man.

• 3:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So it was like.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  That's a very quick turnaround.

• 3:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, let's do this. And we did it.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. For comparison, people like, after Summer Smash, we already start planning for the next one.

• 3:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, now, yeah, now we do.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  The way.

• 3:46Andy Frisella?

  But I mean, it was cool, dude. Uh, you know, we, we, we didn't know what we were doing, um, but it didn't matter because people came and they had a good time and, and, um, you know, we don't really go to expos, like big expos anymore, um, well, ever. And we just wanted to spend time with our people. So we, we threw this idea together.

• 4:09Andy Frisella?

  People came and it grew every year and that was it.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 4:12Andy Frisella?

  It was totally different than the ones that we do now though, like similar, you know, where we do workout and all those things. Uh, but we used to do a mud run instead of the workout. That was cool. Uh, and then the event itself was like way smaller. Um,

• 4:31Andy Frisella?

  we didn't have, uh, music. We had a DJ, just like.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, local DJ.

• 4:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right. Exactly. But it was fucking great. It was fun, man. It was the same amount of fun, uh, but it wasn't, you know, such a production.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 4:44Andy Frisella?

  But, uh, you know, now it's, now it's pretty fucking awesome.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Now it's crazy.

• 4:49Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  It is crazy. Yes.

• 4:51Andy Frisella?

  But there's, you know, like dude, it was fun then too, man. It's, it's the people, dude. It's not.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  The party, man.

• 4:56Andy Frisella?

  That's, that's right.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  People make the party. It's gonna be a party this year. There's no doubt. Um, sick, man. Well, um, guys, it's Monday. So, uh, we always start our week off with some good ones.

• 5:07Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, we do.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, we do.

• 5:08Andy Frisella?

  You got some good ones?

• 5:09Speaker 01

  I got some good ones for you.

• 5:10Andy Frisella?

  Alright.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Well, guys, let's get to our first question. We gotta call in now. I gotta, I gotta pre-warn. Alright, this is

• 5:15Andy Frisella?

  Uh oh.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  This is a special, special guest.

• 5:18Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah. Special.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  It's a special guest, man. Um, and I didn't know this at the time, uh, but confirmed it.

• 5:23Andy Frisella?

  What kind of special?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  It's my cousin.

• 5:26Andy Frisella?

  Oh.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  It's my 16 year old cousin.

• 5:28Andy Frisella?

  Oh, alright. So you're playing favorites?

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, but like, that's what I'm saying. Like I, it wasn't intentional. It's actually a good question.

• 5:34Andy Frisella?

  Alright.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Alright, I know he's going through some stuff. So, uh, yeah, let's give Colt, now I'm gonna also tell you, you ain't gotta hold back on him.

• 5:40Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Give it to him.

• 5:41Andy Frisella?

  I'm not gonna fucking hold back.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  I'm just letting you know, like.

• 5:43Andy Frisella?

  You're gonna ruin my rep. I don't fucking hold back.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  No, I don't want you to think, oh, it's DJ's cousin. Let me be nice.

• 5:48Andy Frisella?

  No, I'll be extra mean.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Rip his ass.

• 5:50Andy Frisella?

  Alright.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Alright, rip him. Alright, let's give, let's give, uh, let's give my, my cousin Colt a call.

• 5:57Andy Frisella?

  Colt?

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Sixty, Colton is his name. Goes by Colt.

• 5:59Andy Frisella?

  Alright.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's give Colt.

• 6:01Andy Frisella?

  That's kinda cool.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's cool, man. He's, he's, he's a good kid though. Good kid. Let's give him a call.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 6:12Andy Frisella?

  Colt, what's up, man?

• 6:14Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 6:15Andy Frisella?

  What's the word?

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Oh, nothing but.

• 6:22Andy Frisella?

  Colt, what's up, dude?

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Hey, what's going on?

• 6:26Andy Frisella?

  How are you?

• 6:28Speaker 02

  I'm doing good. How are you?

• 6:29Andy Frisella?

  Good, man. Sitting here with your cousin. Let me just start this. I'll just start this off, okay? You're probably screwed.

• 6:39Andy Frisella?

  Because you're related to DJ, all right? So I don't know if I'll be able to help you, but I'll do my best. Yeah, yeah, we'll try.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Great.

• 6:48Andy Frisella?

  So what can we help you with, dude?

• 6:51Speaker 02

  So, uh, my question was, uh, how can I let, uh, how can I not let what people say, like, affect my mind and instead like use it for like fuel to like motivate me to like keep going?

• 7:05Andy Frisella?

  Okay, what kind of stuff? Like, what are you getting at?

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Like really just sports, like, just like people talking in sports, like, you're always told not to like let it get to you, but sometimes it really does.

• 7:19Andy Frisella?

  Like in the game?

• 7:21Speaker 02

  In the game, outside of the game, just all around.

• 7:24Andy Frisella?

  What, what sport?

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Uh, baseball.

• 7:27Andy Frisella?

  Okay. So you guys talk a shit in baseball, huh? Right, right. So, all right, so here's the deal. First of all, anybody that's played baseball knows that talking shit is a real art. So my first suggestion would be to get really good at it.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 7:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but dude, real, that's a real, that's a real question, man. And, uh, you know, lots of people struggle with this in all different areas of their life and some people never get over it, dude. The reality is, is that most people never do what they really want to do in life because they are afraid of what other people are gonna say.

• 8:07Andy Frisella?

  You're, you're, you're calling in and asking this question at a perfect time in your life because you're getting into a, a phase where people aren't gonna be very nice all the time. Like it's gonna be hard and people are gonna be assholes. And that's just reality of, of the world. And so you have to understand that a lot of times when we imagine these things, these, these things that people say to us, um, we're building them up in our own minds. Okay. And I've done this before. I'm not above this. This is something I've had to work on my whole life. Um, and I'll tell you what I did and how I got over it. But first thing is to become a little more aware.

• 8:51Andy Frisella?

  Are people, and this is rhetorical for you to just ask yourself. Are people actually saying these things? Or am I thinking they might say these things? And because they might say these things, I'm not doing what it is that I should or could or would be doing otherwise. So the first thing is to audit how bad it really is. Okay. Like, like, is this real or is this shit that I'm making up? Secondly, and this, and the reason I'm bringing this up is because most people struggle with that. Most people do not have haters. They don't have people that's talked this shit. They had one guy on the internet or one person in their family or, you know, a few people that

• 9:33Andy Frisella?

  they knew, say a couple, you know, out of pocket things and they've stuck to them. Because dude, we don't like to hear these things, bro. Like we don't, it doesn't feel good and I don't care who you are. Like that never feels good. And we have to understand that's just a part of life. All right. There's people out there that are just fucking assholes. Okay. So.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  It gets worse.

• 9:56Andy Frisella?

  It does get worse, but, but here's the thing. It never is what we think it is. It's like when, when we deal with people who are like, oh man, all these people talking shit, motherfucker, they're not talking shit. That you have one guy that says some shit.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:09Andy Frisella?

  Everybody else thinks you're cool.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 10:11Andy Frisella?

  And you're torturing yourself over what this one person said, or these two people said, your whole life, and now it's costing you everything in the future. You see what I'm saying? So we gotta be aware that that's, that's why most people fail in life, dude. It really is. They are their own worst enemy. They imagine these things that people might say, which makes them ironically their own biggest hater. All right. So.

• 10:36Andy Frisella?

  That is aside, and you should always remember this Colt, because most people lose in life because they can't get past that. They don't see the reality of how bad it is. Now, the second part is, who gives a fuck? Okay? Who fucking cares? You're gonna be dead one day. I'm gonna be dead one day. All these guys are gonna be dead. It doesn't fucking matter. I, dude, I had so many people in my life talk so much shit to me about my business in the early days when I was broke and I was living in the back of my store and I, we couldn't get anywhere. Things weren't happening. I had so many people, bro, tell me, you know, hey, man, uh, you know, when are you gonna stop messing around with that,

• 11:20Andy Frisella?

  with that little store and get a real job? When are you, when are you gonna start taking life serious? Hey, do you still got that little vitamin shop? You know, like, I had that shit for years, dude. And, uh, the truth of the matter is, is like, now I'm like, holy shit, bro. I'm so thankful that I did not listen to any of them. Okay? Cause now, look, you know what I'm saying? Like, dude, I've achieved, you know, more, I mean, I ain't stopping, I'm just getting started. But the reality is, is I've achieved more than I ever thought I would achieve. And I'm only forty, forty-five years old. Okay? So, so, and that comes from not listening to these motherfuckers that say this shit

• 12:01Andy Frisella?

  to you, dude. So like, you, it's, uh, another point to think about is, a lot of these people aren't on the same path. They don't want what you want. So their opinions are fucking irrelevant. Um, but to answer your question, all right? The way I've gotten through this, it is just, and it, you know, a lot of people don't get this, but every championship person I know understands this. You take what they say and you fucking use it. You take what they say, and when it makes you mad, you automatically go do something to get better. All right? So for you in baseball, what position you play?

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Uh, second base.

• 12:47Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so every time you think about what these motherfuckers said, you go out and you start taking ground balls, or you go out and you do your hitting, or you go out and do something that is going to move you forward. And that is how you properly use negative energy. A lot of people just get mad and they get bitter. But champion people use it and they do to the point of where sometimes when you get really, really good, you gotta make it up. Okay, there's a famous story about Michael Jordan. Uh, where he went out on the court and started talking to one of the dudes. He's like, hey, man, I, I fucking heard what you said about me. The guy's like, what are you talking about?

• 13:32Andy Frisella?

  I didn't say that shit. And he's like, yeah, you're gonna say that now we're on the court, man. Fuck you. I'm gonna, and then dude, he, he just runs the dude over. So like,

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 13:41Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro. So like, it's, it's, you have to learn how to use the negative energy, bro. Because here's the deal. In life, you're gonna get two kinds of energy. You're gonna get encouragement and then you're gonna get discouragement. You're gonna get negative energy, brother. And, and, and you're not gonna want to hear this, but the truth of the matter is,

• 14:05Andy Frisella?

  80% of the energy you're gonna get is probably negative for a very long time until you become so undeniable that nobody wants to say that shit. All right? Cause they look stupid. That doesn't come for years down the road. So right now where you're at, you're gonna have to take everything that they said and you're gonna have to get up off the couch or go put your fucking spikes on and get your glove, get some ground balls, do some hitting practice. You know, uh, I would encourage you to start learning some, you know, reading and learning about business and entrepreneurship and uh, uh, things that will help you professionally pass that. Even if you go play pro, you're gonna want to know what to do past that.

• 14:46Andy Frisella?

  Um, but just do something productive. Work out, go for a run, something that makes you better. Because that's what every, bro, I've met some really fucking champion level people. I mean, the best of the best of the best outside of Michael Jordan, I've probably met most of them.

• 15:07Andy Frisella?

  And and and fortunate enough to have conversations with them and they all think like that. Every single one of them and you'll have these people out in the world to say, don't focus on the negative. Focus on the positive. Well, if that's true, then you're only going to use 30, 20 to 30% of the available energy to move forward. Okay. And I can tell you this, like when someone tells me how good I am, it sure doesn't fucking motivate me very much. Like when someone says, hey, man, uh, you're congratulations on all the success. Like I don't, I don't get the fuck up and do any work any harder and say, oh, I want more. But once, yeah, when someone says, hey, uh, fuck you, Andy, you fat fuck. Guess what I do? I go to the fucking gym. You know what I'm saying? Like, so, yeah. So dude, you've just got to learn how

• 15:50Andy Frisella?

  to utilize that negative energy because bro, we're going to get way more of it. And like DJ said, it gets worse. And if you don't have the ability to leverage it, or you laugh it off too easy. A lot of people will say, oh, just laugh it off. Who cares? No, dude. Take that shit in. Get fucking pissed about it and then go do the thing that's going to make you better. That's where most people miss it. They get real pissed, but then they sit there and they sulk. That doesn't do you any good, man. The best workouts I've ever had, the best ideas I've ever had, the hardest I've ever worked is when I felt disrespected. All right. So dude, swallow that shit and let it simmer

• 16:32Andy Frisella?

  and let it piss you off and then go do your shit, bro. Right. I'm talking like right then. I don't mean like dude, if it's 11 o'clock at night and someone's like, hey, fuck you, bro, go for a fucking 10 minute run. You know what I'm saying? Like dude, if you can seriously discipline yourself enough to move forward every time someone says some negative shit, do you know how fucking good you become? You become great because the energy is just much more available than it is the positive. So what do you, I mean, what do you think, bro? Does that make sense?

• 17:08Speaker 02

  Yes, sir, it does.

• 17:09Andy Frisella?

  Okay. What, what kind of shit are they saying to you, dude?

• 17:14Speaker 02

  Just like, just like giving me crap about like playing time and, uh, transfer schools, like all this stuff.

• 17:23Andy Frisella?

  Man, just swallow that shit down and work out work them, bro. It all work out.

• 17:30Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Yes, sir.

• 17:33Andy Frisella?

  All right, man. You have any more issues with that? You call back in.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll pull up.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Yes, sir, I will.

• 17:38Andy Frisella?

  No, bro. This is part of growing up.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  You gotta go through.

• 17:40Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? Like dude, you know, part of the reason that I'm where I'm at in life is because everybody fucking bullied me when I was young, bro. That's the truth. I was bullied. I was made fun of. I was called a fat fuck. I was told I was no good. I had a guidance counselor in high school tell me that there's no fucking way that I was gonna ever be successful. Actually, what he told me was, uh, I tried to go to, I wanted to go to Notre Dame, uh, and, and I, I wanted to go to Notre Dame or the University of Texas. And his exact words to me were, Andy, those schools aren't for people like you. You're, you're, you're a community, you're a community college person. And he fucking told me that straight to my face. And dude, to this day, I fucking think about it. You know what I'm saying?

• 18:26Andy Frisella?

  So like the, these things that people say that like pierce your fucking heart are the most valuable things that anybody will ever say to you in your entire life, but you won't realize it until you've, you've gone down the journey of where you want to go. All right. So one day, Colt, you're gonna be in a position and, and you know, maybe it's in baseball. Maybe it's a professional career, uh, just being a successful human and you're gonna say, man, I'm glad all those motherfuckers said that shit to me. You know what I'm saying? Like you're gonna like, you know, like I have a list, bro. And like I, sometimes I think about like literally sending them a thank you card. Now I'm being serious.

• 19:11Speaker 01

  I love it too.

• 19:12Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 19:13Andy Frisella?

  Because.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Been here without.

• 19:14Andy Frisella?

  No, I wouldn't.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:16Andy Frisella?

  I wouldn't, dude. And I've, I've learned to be appreciative of those people because of the fuel that they gave me. And.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 19:25Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, dude. It's, it's hard to see when you're in it, but once you use it, you'll start to understand.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  All right, Cole, go get it done, man.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  All right, yes, sir. Thank you all so much for talking to me.

• 19:38Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. We'll see ya.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  All right. Yeah, have a good one.

• 19:42Andy Frisella?

  All right, you too.

• 19:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man, that's hard as a young dude.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  It's tough. I mean, especially do kids, kids nowadays.

• 19:49Andy Frisella?

  They're mean as fuck.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  It's different.

• 19:50Andy Frisella?

  I know. They're savage, bro.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  It's so different.

• 19:53Andy Frisella?

  Plus, you gotta go home and see it on the internet.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  That right, right. There's no, it's not off. You know, it used to be it was just at school. No. That shit goes home with you. Like, it's everywhere.

• 20:02Andy Frisella?

  Bro, you just gotta learn to sell. Oh, really?

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:05Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  All right.

• 20:06Andy Frisella?

  We'll see.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  Watch this.

• 20:07Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  That's real, man.

• 20:08Andy Frisella?

  We'll fucking see.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  I love it, man. Well, guys, let's get to our second question. Got a write-in here. Guys, Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy. I always ask everyone, everyone else for their opinions. Whether it's my friends, coworkers, or just strangers online. I weigh every perspective but my own. I think I'm afraid that if I really trusted myself and got it wrong, I'd have no one else to blame. But what if I'm the only one I need to trust? What would change if I finally did? How do you learn to trust yourself when it comes to perspectives?

• 20:44Andy Frisella?

  First of all, look, dude,

• 20:49Andy Frisella?

  don't be asking your fucking friends who aren't doing the same shit that you're doing advice. You don't take financial advice from a fucking poor person. You don't take, you know, fitness advice from a 400-pound dude who's never worked out. You, you, this is common sense. Your fucking friends and probably most of your family is not doing or on the same path that you are on. All right? The nature of you writing into this show tells me that you want more. Nobody that doesn't want more listens to this show. Okay? That's why so many people complain about it.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:27Andy Frisella?

  All right? It is a small percentage of people that want to do better in life, and you are in that group. And if you are trying to get validation or ask opinions from people who are not on that path, you are constantly inviting

• 21:43Andy Frisella?

  Sandbag comments to pull you off track. All right, they're gonna instill doubt. They're going to make you question things. They're gonna discourage you. They're gonna say things that make you feel a certain way that you shouldn't feel. All right. And it's hard to get past this because in your mind, these are the people who should care about you the most. All right. So you have to understand, dude, real simple. You cannot take advice when it comes to your path from anybody that hasn't been down the road or is on the same path. It's a completely different life than everybody else. All this shit you see on the internet about balance

• 22:27Andy Frisella?

  and all this victimhood shit and all this, oh, trauma shit and you need therapy. Bro, that's for everybody else. Okay, you're a builder, you're a creator, you're an achiever, and you know that in your heart, which is why you're asking the question. So you are paralyzed by people who aren't even on the same path. You have to understand that. Stop asking people who aren't even in the same fucking stratosphere about what they want in life, what you should be doing. They're gonna give you advice about what they do. This should be obvious to you. Okay, and all that does is confuse you and paralyze you and cause you to eventually doubt enough

• 23:12Andy Frisella?

  to where you give up and you say, fuck it, it's not for me. Everybody around me tells, tells me it's not for me. Everybody says, uh, I'm not smart enough, or I'm not good enough, or I'm not humble enough, or I need to be like this, or I need to do that, or are you sure? Listen, stop doing that. You are torturing yourself by asking them anything. All right. If you want to be an average motherfucker that lives an average life that doesn't really want to ask them what you should do. Because whatever they say, bro, if you follow it, you're just gonna be like them. That's the truth. That's the truth. Okay?

• 23:51Andy Frisella?

  Now, to the point of listening to yourself. The reason that you don't trust yourself is because you haven't ever built the confidence to trust yourself. I bet without looking at your life, you have a major problem with execution and you have a major problem with follow through. I can tell by the nature of your question, because if you were executing and if you were following through, you would have developed confidence in yourself to make the decisions that you want to make without anybody else's opinion. When you have built yourself into a resilient, strong badass mentally fucking hard motherfucker,

• 24:35Andy Frisella?

  you do not need other people's opinions on things. You only ask them when they know more than you, which is a smart thing to do, by the way. All right. So, we have to work with you on building your confidence, building your self-esteem, building your grit, building your fortitude, following through. All right. And dude, by the way, I've developed an entire program that helps you train this in yourself. It's called 75 Hard and Live Hard. You get it for free at episode 208. I'm sure you've heard of it because the whole world's heard of it. All right. You need to live on that fucking lifestyle. That is the truth. You need to get on Live Hard. I would recommend every entrepreneur do it because it sharpens you throughout the entire year.

• 25:20Andy Frisella?

  It keeps you high performing. It keeps you mentally clear and it allows you to operate at the highest level. And by the way, it gives you the confidence that you could trust yourself because you've just shown yourself that you can do all these hard things that other people can't even fathom. So you don't look to other people's validation anymore because you know you're stronger than them. All right. So, if you want to trust yourself, you've got to give yourself reasons to trust yourself and you haven't done that yet. All right. So, go out, live on the program, understand that the more you listen to people who aren't doing shit, the more likely you are to fall in the line with them and not do shit either. All right.

• 26:03Andy Frisella?

  And then start seeking the advice of people who are further down the road or have done what it is that you want to do and only listen to them. Don't listen to anybody else. So.

• 26:17Andy Frisella?

  That's pretty much it, bro. Like, you gotta understand, dude, the ability to trust yourself comes from situations where you made decisions on your own, you followed through, and it worked out. That is a muscle that you have to train, bro. It's a perishable skill. If you don't train that within yourself, it's gonna come and go. Sometimes you're gonna have confidence, sometimes you won't. Sometimes you'll feel good, sometimes you won't. Sometimes you'll be able to trust yourself, sometimes you won't. And dude, you'll go up and down, and it'll drive you fucking crazy. You need to become the kind of person that can trust themselves, that can follow through on their word, that can do what they say they're gonna do.

• 26:57Andy Frisella?

  And that is something that you have to intentionally train. It is not something that people are born with. It's something that you have to build through repetition, just like playing the guitar, or just like doing anything that requires practice, okay? A lot of people, they play the guitar, and they don't play for three or four years, and guess what? They suck, alright? If you take a shower today, and you don't take one for the next week, you don't get to go back and say, hey, well, I took a shower that one time. Doesn't work like that. It's the same thing with your discipline, it's the same thing with your confidence, it's the same thing with your self-belief. It's, you have to train them, alright? And once you start to train them, you will have more trust and faith in yourself. So, stop listening to people who aren't on the same path. They're poisoning your mind, they're instilling doubt,

• 27:42Andy Frisella?

  they're making you question things, and eventually, they'll make you question it so much that you will give up, and you will join them, and then you will spend the rest of your life being regretful of not doing what it is you wanted to do.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  I wanna, I wanna ask this. This is gonna be a real conversation, and I don't, I don't think anybody talks about this. How do you handle the resentment when you finally learn that when you were asking them for their opinion, they told you go left, and you didn't? Like, just how wrong they were? How do you handle that resentment?

• 28:13Andy Frisella?

  Uh, is there resentment? No, I mean, look, dude, well, it depends. Did they do it intentionally, or did they, or they just, they just don't know, because they're not on the path, right? Like,

• 28:24Speaker 01

  I guess that matters.

• 28:25Andy Frisella?

  But listen, it does matter. Intent, intent does matter because some people will try to help you, but they don't know, right? They have no business trying to help you.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 28:33Andy Frisella?

  They don't, and they, they're not aware enough and the person asking is not aware enough to say, hey, uh, this guy's life fucking sucks. You know what I'm saying?

• 28:42Speaker 01

  That might not be right.

• 28:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So we have to, we have to not give value to our friends and family to skills that they do not possess. They do not possess at all. They might want to help you, but they can't help you. That's like someone who can't swim, being asked to swim out in the middle of the lake and save a drowning person. You can't do it. You might want to, but you can't. All right. And so if it's like that, there really isn't resentment. You just say, hey, they, they love me. They're, they gave me what they thought was good advice and it was framed because that's what they believe. And that's why you don't ask them. All right. And in that case, there's no resentment. It's just, hey, uh, we're on different paths. It's a good-hearted

• 29:27Andy Frisella?

  person, you know, we can hang out at the barbecues and have to be cool friends, but I'm not gonna ask them shit. You know what I mean?

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 29:34Andy Frisella?

  I mean, there's plenty of, uh, people out there that you can remain friends with and just not ask their advice. Or when they give it, just say, hey, man, uh, you know, real talk, I don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying?

• 29:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:46Andy Frisella?

  Uh, so, but then there is people that will try to pull you off track and you'll realize it down the road. Uh, especially with like people you date, all right? You'll realize that. Uh, and dude, it's just realizing that those people don't give a fuck about you. They give a fuck about them. And, and dude, you don't, you don't have to resent them. You just let them go, bro. Just let it go. Resentment eats you up. It doesn't do anything to them. It doesn't fix the situation. It's not productive. You just accept things for what they are and they are what they are.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  I love that, dude.

• 30:19Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  I love it, man. Guys, let's get to our third and final question. Got another caller.

• 30:23Andy Frisella?

  All right, let's do it.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  All right, guys, our third and final, uh, question, we got another call in. Uh, this is Hunter. Let's give Hunter a call.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Hello, it's Hunter.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Hey, what's up Hunter?

• 30:42Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Scared me there a little bit.

• 30:45Andy Frisella?

  What's up Hunter? How you doing, bro?

• 30:47Speaker 02

  Yo, what's up, man?

• 30:51Andy Frisella?

  So what we got, what do you got for us today, bro? Where you, where you at? You sound like you're in like, uh, you in Alabama?

• 30:58Speaker 02

  No, no, North Carolina. I've got my whole family in the car. We're going to see the new Lilo and Stitch movie.

• 31:03Andy Frisella?

  All right, all right. So the family's there, huh?

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got you in my earbud because you never know, you know, what can happen on one of these.

• 31:13Andy Frisella?

  It's probably a good idea. Smart. Well, what can we help you with, bro?

• 31:18Speaker 02

  Well, if you, if you don't mind, like, I'd like to maybe, uh, give you a little synopsis of like, my family's business and my situation and then read the questions. You got a little understa- so.

• 31:29Andy Frisella?

  Sure.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  We've been in business for 15 years. Uh, we've got a car dealership right outside of Raleigh, North Carolina that my dad started with like a motorcycle and a tractor out of his garage. Sold those, bought his first car, sold that car, bought two more. Now we've got two locations with 150 units. Over the last 15 years, it keeps built a pretty, pretty successful business in our area, um, that our community trusts. And, uh, you know, we do, we do things the right way, as you should. The question that I've got relates to the culture of our business. So he, um, I'll just read it to you.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  So, my question was, how can I shift the culture of a small family business? When the majority of the employees are old, established hires, but not only lazy, but can be active dancers within the company? Uh, my dad has made all of these hires and now it's kind of stepped away from the day to day. It's more hands off in the company.

• 32:32Andy Frisella?

  Okay, well, what's your role in the company?

• 32:36Speaker 02

  So I run, um, so we have two, three locations. I run one of the car lots.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  And I have, I've like kind of revamped all of my employees and established like my own culture within my store. The other two locations are all hires that have really been with them since day one and the majority of them are great, but there are a couple. Um, that I think, you know, he obviously wants to see the good in his people that he hired. And kind of, and doesn't see how they behave on the day to day.

• 33:09Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  So we've got some, you know, just some, some bad apples in the group that know that since he was, they were hired by him, almost have like the hidden immunity idol. And there's nothing that I can really do to manage those employees because they know that he hired them and I can't fire them.

• 33:28Andy Frisella?

  Okay. And those employees work inside your store?

• 33:32Speaker 02

  No, no, I've, I've got, I don't have any of the old employees at my location, but, um, so we have like an auto shop that all of our cars go through. So we were in a detailed shop at the other store. So we work closely with all locations. But my store independently does not have any of the, um, the old established hires.

• 33:51Andy Frisella?

  And how's your store perform next to the other stores?

• 33:55Speaker 02

  Great. Um, I mean, we, they have about three to four times the inventory that I do. Um, and I, I mean, I, I hang right with them every month in terms of sales. So they have four times the product, three to four times the product. And I typically, you know, am maybe a small percentage behind what they sell.

• 34:14Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  With maybe more than half, less than half the inventory.

• 34:17Andy Frisella?

  Okay. All right. So is your dad planning on like, like getting completely out to where you're going to be able to run things at any time soon?

• 34:29Speaker 02

  Dude, that's, that's where it's weird is like he every week, like he's gone four or five days a week. Um, when he stops into the store, it's only for maybe 10 or 15 minutes.

• 34:38Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Um, but he's very adamant about keeping his, his people.

• 34:42Andy Frisella?

  Why do you think that is? Why do you think that is?

• 34:45Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, so he's got a very good heart.

• 34:48Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Um, and, and his people are loyal to him.

• 34:51Andy Frisella?

  Yep.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Um, and, but I've heard you say time and time again that, you know, just because you show up for work, you may be loyal in terms of like being on time and doing, but they're just, they just do what they're supposed to do. Um, as an employee, uh, but they are loyal, right? They've been with him for 10 or 12 years. Um, but since he stepped away from the company, like I don't think that.

• 35:19Andy Frisella?

  How old, how old?

• 35:20Speaker 02

  Without him actually in store.

• 35:21Andy Frisella?

  How old are these people?

• 35:24Speaker 02

  Um, probably like late 40s, early 50s.

• 35:28Andy Frisella?

  Okay. And what is your, uh, ideal outcome for, for, what are you, are you trying to grow the company? Trying to open up more stores? What, what are you, what are you trying to do?

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. So right now, um, we're, we're just kind of coasting with what we've got. Um, we've got a lot of room to grow. Um, we could probably double our inventory between the two stores. Not the current locations, but I think the 10 year plan would be, you know, open a second or third or fourth, uh, retail location, um, and grow outwards in that, in that manner.

• 36:04Andy Frisella?

  Okay. All right, man. So here's the deal. Your dad is loyal to these people because they helped them build what he has. Okay? And.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 36:14Andy Frisella?

  This is a common trait. You know, I have a number of people that have helped me grow, uh, my companies that I would do literally anything for, and some of them are still here and some of them aren't. Um, and they're, if you're a good person. Like you say, your dad is, you know, when I ask you that question, I was pretty sure what the answer was going to be. You know, you feel a very deep sense of gratitude and you tend to give sometimes passes to people that you wouldn't in other, in other situations. Right. How I would address this issue, okay, because here's the truth. You already know what's got to happen. There's only two things that can happen here.

• 36:59Andy Frisella?

  One, they can get on board. Two, they can get the fuck out. All right. And they're probably not going to get on board at 50 years old. I just got to be real. They've already accepted their lifestyle. They've already like, they've, you know, most people at 50 are not ambitious. They've decided, hey, man, this is just what my life's going to be. And so to get those people to, to execute at a higher level than what they've been used to is probably,

• 37:30Andy Frisella?

  it's going to be very difficult, probably.

• 37:33Andy Frisella?

  Now, there's going to be exceptions, right? But

• 37:39Andy Frisella?

  probably not. Okay. So the other thing, so the other situation is, you know, okay, you got to get rid of them. Your dad doesn't want to get rid of them because they're 50 years old and he's thinking like, well, what are they going to do? It's going to fuck them up. So what needs, what needs to happen here before the culture even gets addressed, you have to have a conversation with your dad. Okay. And you have to say, hey, look, dad,

• 38:05Andy Frisella?

  I know that you built this business. It's you, what you've done is amazing.

• 38:10Andy Frisella?

  I want to take the business to the next level so that I can be proud of what I've done with my life. I don't want to just sit here in the store and run a store. I want to take what you've done and I want to take it to the next level, which I'm sure at one point in time is what you also wanted. And then I would say, Sure, yeah. I would say, look at my grandkids. I'm trying to provide, or look at your grandkids. I'm trying to provide the best opportunity for them. And the reason you're going to say it like that is because you want him to expand his thinking outside of just himself or you. Okay. And if you say, hey, I'm trying to set something up for them, that he's going to see that differently. All right. So you have this conversation with them.

• 38:54Andy Frisella?

  And you say, look, there's only so much I can do with Steve and Larry and Bob. Okay. They're fucking up everything that I got going on. They can, you have to talk to them. They can either work and get on board with me. Or we're going to have to get rid of them because it's going to hurt our family, man. And you have to have a real conversation with him and you've got to say like, hey, dad, I know you have a good heart and I know you care about these people, but you care about those grandkids more than you care about those people. All right. And you got to start putting pressure on them to understand that, that like this is bigger than him. And it is, this isn't, this isn't manipulation. This is just like a negotiation.

• 39:35Andy Frisella?

  To get him to realize like, hey, man, because he's probably not realizing it. He's probably thinking like, oh, everything's good. I gotta, you know, I can go to fishing. I can go do my thing and everything's fine. But what he, what he doesn't realize, like you said, is what goes on when he's not there. All right. So that conversation has to happen and it has to happen in a real, serious way. Like, hey, like, hey dad, can you, can we get together like, or can we meet here? And I need to talk to you about something that's, it's, it's real important. I just don't want to bring it up casually. Like set an official meeting with him so that there's weight to the conversation. All right. And then, then we can start addressing the culture.

• 40:17Andy Frisella?

  Okay. Because until you get the cancer out of your, you're, you're correct in your assessment. Until you get the cancer out of your company, you can't get people aligned. Because, and I'm going to explain this, you already know this, but I'm going to explain this for the listeners. When Hunter tries to change the culture, what's happening here is he's being undermined by people who have been there longer, who are older than him, who are, who know the way it really is. This is how we've always done it. And so Hunter's walking in the room saying, hey, guys. This is what I want to do. This is what we want to do. This is this. And the minute he walks

• 40:58Andy Frisella?

  out of the room, he's getting undermined by these people who truly don't give a fuck. And, and, and we might sit here and say, oh, they, they really do care. No, they don't. Because if they really cared, they'd get on board with them. If they really cared, they would do what is going to be best for the company. And if they were really loyal to your dad, bro, they would work their fucking asses off in gratitude for the opportunity that they've been provided. That's the truth. Okay. So this, this guilt, this guilt that your dad has is wrong. It's misplaced. Okay. If they were loyal, they would fucking be, they would be doing everything they can to grow that business because it would also serve them to grow it as well. But like I said, they're 50 years old. They've accepted

• 41:42Andy Frisella?

  where they are. They're ambitious. They don't want to work any harder. And every place has people like that. But the minute they start undermining and the minute they start sabotaging, they gotta go, bro. They gotta go. So, yeah. So, you know, that's, that has to be addressed before we address the culture. All right. Now, once you get all that addressed, there's some formalization that you can do inside your company. And dude, listen, culture is a, that's a week long bootcamp. Okay. And I actually am going to start doing something like that soon. But in a, in a shorter time we have, what you

• 42:23Andy Frisella?

  have to do, dude, is you have to set some standards. And you have, I'll give you a couple of pieces of, of what the, what this will take to fix it. All right. One, you gotta define what the vision is. All right. What's the vision of what you're trying to do? Once you define that, you have to make the vision work for them. Okay. They have to understand what are they going to get out of the vision. They have to believe that they can get it out of that vision. And, uh, and so you have to set basically a very clear goal for what they are going to get out of growing the company. Number two, you gotta develop a really, a real mission statement, not some bullshit that you put on the wall

• 43:07Andy Frisella?

  that says, we, uh, we here at, you know, at Hunter Car Dealership, we stand for integrity. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about some real shit that you guys live by. All right. Then three, you have to set core values for the company and these core values you could pick like six to 10 of them. And these have to become the guide rails for how you audit your performance, your decision, and you have to teach your employees to audit themselves against those same values. Meaning if the value says, uh, accept responsibility or go the extra mile, they should be able to look at that list and say, am I doing that?

• 43:50Andy Frisella?

  Am I going the extra mile? Am I taking responsibility for the things that go wrong? And use that and teach them as a framework, how to stay within that guide rail. And the third part, or the fourth part here is going to be, speak in that language. Meaning when you make a correction, when you have to, you know, let's say have a meeting with someone or talk to them about something, or you're making a correction about something, you're gonna want, instead of saying, hey, that was wrong, don't do that again, you're gonna say, hey, what core value do you think that violates here? And you make them go up and down and tell you, and then you say, okay, what do you think you should have done?

• 44:35Andy Frisella?

  And you make them go up and down and tell you, all right? And you start communicating and correcting along these core values. And I guess the sixth thing, fuck, I don't know, how many numbers is that? Five or six, whatever. The next thing is you need to hire and fire by those core values. So if you have, and you've already figured this part out, if you have people that aren't a fit, they gotta go, no matter what. It doesn't matter how good they sell, it doesn't matter what, it doesn't matter, they have to fucking go because those people will always poison the culture. So those are some quick things that you can do, dude. And, oh, and here's another one. Instead of making, do you guys have like awards and shit that you do?

• 45:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, we've got some like bonus programs.

• 45:18Andy Frisella?

  And what are they, and what are they based upon? How much you sell?

• 45:23Speaker 02

  Uh, it just depends on the position, but yeah, typically it's based off sales. Yeah.

• 45:27Andy Frisella?

  All right. So take, take that metric, having it based off sales and make your awards based on the core values. Okay. Meaning.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 45:38Andy Frisella?

  You know, like who, who did, who had the coolest go the extra mile story for the dealership? Who had the, you know, like, start making the, the rewards based around the value system that you, that you have inside your company. And that will correct the behavior because they won't, cause like dude, as you know, as a salesperson, you know, sales at the cost of anything is not actually a good way to run your business because it feels salesy and people don't come back and then you get a bad reputation. So overselling is probably one of the worst things you could do in any business. So you wanna, you wanna shift the idea from selling to actually serving and helping through these core values.

• 46:23Andy Frisella?

  And when you do that, bro, you end up in a situation where people are providing the best possible outcome for your customers. Because ultimately the best marketing that you have, and I don't know anything about your business, but it's word of mouth. They're gonna say, hey, I went down to fuck, I went down to Hunter, the guys were awesome. I would never go anywhere else.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  I'm only going to Hunter.

• 46:43Andy Frisella?

  Yes. And that's not.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've got, I mean, in the community, we've got, I mean, on Google, we've got like a 4.9 star. I mean, we probably over 50% of our business is from word of mouth.

• 46:53Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Um, I get, do you mind if I ask a quick follow up?

• 46:56Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  So because I'm not, let's say you have two options to deal with the cancer, right? You can, if you can cut it out immediately, which is not an option for me, I'm kinda left as acting as almost like a chemo. Right? And so these people have been left kinda put on my plate where I have to deal with them, but throwing them out, cutting them out is not an option. So how, how can I deal with these people and, and almost like, how can I make these people more effective? When they're not my hires, they don't listen to what I say, and they know that they've found like. An immunity where there's nothing I can do per se, right? Just like there's no respect for me.

• 47:35Andy Frisella?

  You want to know the truth?

• 47:36Speaker 02

  Because they.

• 47:37Andy Frisella?

  You want to know the truth? You fucking can't. Can't do it. You can't do it. You'll lose. So it's either get rid of them.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:45Andy Frisella?

  Or you're gonna lose. That's it. Or get rid of them. You're gonna stay where you're at. So that's why I said you need to talk to your dad. You're gonna have to have a confrontational discussion with your dad because I've been doing this for 26 years. I'm probably one of the biggest experts in the world on culture and I can promise you I couldn't do what you're asking for you to do.

• 48:02Speaker 01

  There's no other work.

• 48:03Andy Frisella?

  I couldn't fucking do it.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  We've, uh, we've, we've, this has been a, a discussion for who knows, probably the last couple of years. And I've been sending the episodes to show them, hey, look what he said. The cancer, you gotta get rid of it. And I, so my, my sharing the show and not being a hoe has been really sending these episodes to him to say, look, man, this guy's built, you know, astronomical things. He's not just making it up and there's no, there's no example where the cancer stays in the business.

• 48:31Andy Frisella?

  It can't happen. There's only two options. They can either get on board and respect your father who gave them a career and work at the standard that needs to be done, or they have to go and that's it. And, and, and dude, this undermining shit, okay, if you're saying, oh, well, I need to make it better right away. Look dude, I know how I would handle it, like, but I probably can't say it on the air. Okay. Real talk.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  Call you on the side.

• 49:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, like real talk, dude. Like you're not gonna fucking undermine me. Now when I'm paying your motherfucking bills, it's not happening, bro. So, uh, that's, that's total disrespect. Total disrespect. So at a bare minimum, that has to stop, but it's still not gonna fix what you're trying to fix. If you want to fix a little bit today, I'd go sit down with them. I say, man, I get you've been here for 55 years, whatever the fuck they've been here. And I'd say, I, I, I get that and I get that. How old are you?

• 49:31Andy Frisella?

  I get that I'm only 26 and you think I'm like some young dude doesn't know shit. But I'm gonna tell you right now between me and you, I'm gonna get my fucking way. And if you fuck, the minute I get it, if you don't fucking stop what you're doing, you're gonna be the fucking out of here. And I'd fucking tell that right to their fucking face. I'd pull them outside. I'd say, hey, let me talk to you for a second. And I'd have a real son. That's exactly what I would say. I'd say, hey, look here, Bob. I know you're 50 years old and you don't give a fuck about your life, but you see those kids over there? I give a fuck about them. And my dad gave you a fucking opportunity to build a career, to do these things. And you're, every time I walk out of the meeting, you're telling these guys this and this and this.

• 50:13Andy Frisella?

  That's gonna fucking stop because there's gonna be a day real soon where I'm running shit and you're not gonna have a fucking job. And I would make that really clear, dude. And if they, you know, that, I would say just like that.

• 50:28Andy Frisella?

  That'll get you a little bit of time. Yeah, that'll buy you some time. Yeah, but it won't fix it.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah, probably need to sit down as a company, right? And address the issues with all of us together in the room.

• 50:39Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, yeah, I would do, yeah.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  After we discuss and probably get on the same page.

• 50:44Andy Frisella?

  That's, that's passive, bro. Okay. You, you, first of all, you can't hold the whole company accountable for the actions of a few. Because the ones that are really, the ones that are really trying hard will be discouraged by that. They'll say, fuck dude, Hunter's not seeing what, like all the shit I do, like they don't even appreciate it. So it has to be in private.

• 51:05Speaker 02

  Right, right. Okay.

• 51:07Andy Frisella?

  Bro, I'll come do it. Fuck those guys.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Man, sounds like a plan.

• 51:14Andy Frisella?

  Dude, listen, do it. Otherwise, you're gonna be stuck in the same system forever. And, and dude, you're gonna be failing your own family, bro. That, what? Fuck those guys. Okay? If they don't want to get on board and your dad feels bad, you need to get your dad to understand they're not respecting what he's, what he's done for them.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah. Well, that's what I'll do first thing tomorrow morning.

• 51:39Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  If I wasn't at a movie with my family right now, I'd do it now, but I'll have to do it tomorrow morning.

• 51:43Andy Frisella?

  But listen, man, I'm, listen.

• 51:47Andy Frisella?

  You will be glad you did this. It will change. It will get you in a position where you can grow and you can do your thing and it'll probably happen a lot faster than 10 years, dude.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:58Andy Frisella?

  So, alright, bro.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  Sounds good, man. Well, thank you, guys. I appreciate it.

• 52:03Andy Frisella?

  You're welcome, Hunter. See you, bro.

• 52:05Speaker 02

  Alright, yep. Have a good one. Bye.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's a hard convo to have, man.

• 52:11Andy Frisella?

  It is if you never had it.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's gotta be.

• 52:13Andy Frisella?

  It is if you never had it. I don't, listen, man. That's, that's real shit. Those guys aren't respecting his dad for what they did for him. And now they're sandbagging this guy, you know, and his family and what he's trying to do because he's only 26 and they don't want to listen to him. He's out here trying to build a career. You know, the truth of the matter is, is if his dad won't fucking allow him to do that, he should go do his own thing. Because he's always going to be handicapped by his dad's inability to recognize what is true. You know what I'm saying? And then his dad has to fucking see like, man, I'm hurting my own family by keeping these guys here.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  And if he does have a heart, he's gonna see that and he'll, he'll get in line.

• 52:51Andy Frisella?

  Maybe. I mean, maybe. You know, I understand how his dad feels, bro. But listen, there's a time when loyalty expires. There's an expiration to loyalty. It does not last forever. Okay?

• 53:03Speaker 01

  It ain't just this trade off.

• 53:04Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, right. Fuck, man. I was thinking too bad, like even just on the, the, the cancer conversation, bro, like even having the conversation, you know. Yeah, they might get in line for a little bit.

• 53:15Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's, it's a band-aid.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  For a little bit.

• 53:18Andy Frisella?

  Listen, man, at 50 years old, you are who the fuck you are. You know what I'm saying?

• 53:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. Fuck. Well, guys, Andy, that was three.

• 53:25Andy Frisella?

  Alright. Alright, guys. Well, uh, let's get out there. Let's have a good week and, uh, we'll see you tomorrow.