Andrew Schulz

Andrew Schulz (Life, Schulz Saves America, Flagrant) is a comedian, actor, and podcaster. Andrew joins the Armchair Expert to discuss loving showing off his cha-cha at his mom’s ballroom dance studio, argue the significance of Alexander the Great being either Greek or Macedonian, and why after having a daughter there isn’t any gymnastics recital he doesn’t want to attend. Andrew and Dax talk about whether his confrontational style of comedy is rooted in his yearning to be liked, the fact that you can call him a lot of things but ignorant is not one of them, and breaking down the Kendrick Lamar beef. Andrew explains why he doesn’t worry whether his nuance is received or not because he knows his heart is good, that he’s learning it’s not worth explaining what you meant when what you said hurt people, and the response he’s gotten from other men after talking about the difficulty of getting pregnant onstage. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Monica Padman.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  Hi. Today, we have a guest that I've been following on Instagram for a couple of years now. I went and saw him do stand up on a first date with McConaughey in Austin. Andrew Scholes, and he's also an actor. Okay, this is fun because you're on the, you were on the fence about Andrew.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:24Dax Shepard?

  About some of his comedy.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:26Dax Shepard?

  And before he came, I said, yeah, you come on in, we'd love to have you, but there'll be some pushback. So this was a very unique and fun episode.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  It was.

• 0:35Dax Shepard?

  You guys got to really hash it out.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was really engaging. He was great. And yeah, it was.

• 0:44Dax Shepard?

  So this was really political. I guess that's what I want to say upfront.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:49Dax Shepard?

  We try to avoid politics. This one, I was like, there's no way we do this without going all in.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  Yes, I agree. So there's going to just be some people, if we choose to have them, which I think we should, I think we should have everyone on.

• 1:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  That if you ignore that piece, I think that's problematic.

• 1:07Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  I think we have to ask.

• 1:10Dax Shepard?

  So for me, it was very fun because we never do it. And also in the middle of it, I was like, yeah, this is why we never do it. Because we're in the, you know, we're getting very granular about this policy or that and this year and whatever. But I, I thought it was thrilling to sit kind of on the sidelines and watch the whole thing.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  It was fun.

• 1:30Dax Shepard?

  Andrew has a new comedy special out now called Life on Netflix. Beautiful stand up really about him and his wife's journey to having a kid, which is really, really sweet.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  It is.

• 1:41Dax Shepard?

  And he also has two very popular podcasts. He might even have more, but Flagrant and The Brilliant Idiots. So check out both podcasts and Life on Netflix. Please enjoy Andrew Scholes. We get support from Quince.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 2:17Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater, starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 2:44Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California, and I'm so excited, and I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  It's great!

• 2:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel-quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here, and it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five-star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 3:19Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Ah, the Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8.

• 3:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I need to talk about something that doesn't get enough respect. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese. This is not a casual burger. This is a crafted burger. We're talking 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order it. No artificial flavors, no fillers, no preservatives. Just beef doing what beef is supposed to do. And here's a detail I love. There's a cowbell sound in the kitchen. When somebody orders a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a cowbell goes off and the grill master throws a fresh patty down. That's like having your own entrance music at McDonald's. I want a cowbell for everything in life. The onions are hand topped by someone who just knows the right amount. Two slices of cheese laid out in a star pattern. So every single bite gets cheese and two pickles side by side. So you're never in a pickle desert.

• 4:35Dax Shepard?

  Every bite is accounted for. Someone engineered this thing with love. I love a Quarter Pounder.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Me too. That's my order. It's a Quarter Pounder with cheese. I love it. I didn't know they put so much effort that they did a star formation. I should have known because you can taste it when there's adverts.

• 4:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the love. Don't tell anyone this, but I'll put two of them back.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 4:59Dax Shepard?

  The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink. Now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Hi, Shibi.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  This is Monica.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  Nice to meet you.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Thanks for having me.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Yes, of course. Did he warn you about my wrath?

• 5:43Dax Shepard?

  In so many ways, yeah.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, he said, uh, I don't know what she said.

• 5:47Dax Shepard?

  You were like, can I come by? I got a special coming out and I said, oh my God, I'd love to have you. But I also want you to know you're going to walk into some pushback. And you said, let's party.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, which I appreciate.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  Better.

• 5:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  I do too.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  But don't go too soft on me. Oh, don't you worry. Okay.

• 6:03Dax Shepard?

  What's the hardest anyone's gone on you? Have you ever actually been in like a gotcha situation? Like gotcha interview?

• 6:08Speaker 02

  I don't know what there is to get.

• 6:10Dax Shepard?

  You're not hiding anything.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:11Dax Shepard?

  Your worst side is out in public, probably.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  I guess. I can sleep at night. But also, it's less maybe interviews, but more conversations where somebody will point something out. And I'll just be like, oh, okay, I see why that's interpreted in that way.

• 6:24Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I'm over.

• 6:26Dax Shepard?

  You've never like gone full. Do you see this clash? I'd never talk about politics, but.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  With Zelensky?

• 6:32Dax Shepard?

  Yes, this is worth repeating.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 6:34Dax Shepard?

  Zelensky joined JD Vance and Trump at a news conference and it is a screaming match.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  Even before it started, they're kind of roasting him for not wearing a suit. They're like, yeah, you can't wear a suit to the Oval Office. And then he's like, I'm in a war.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  I'm dealing with some shit.

• 6:52Dax Shepard?

  Trump's like, you don't have good cards. He's like, I'm not playing cards. We're in a war.

• 6:59Dax Shepard?

  This is for real. This dude is in a war. I know, it's a card game.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  I think they thought that they were going to announce the stop to it. I think they thought there was going to be an agreement and that's why they had it. And then it became kind of combative.

• 7:09Dax Shepard?

  Just to put all my cards on the table, I'm rooting for the Ukraine like crazy. From the second it started, they invaded you bullies, let's go, let's help. That's where I stand. Then I read something yesterday where I was like, oh, I think I see what's happening. So Trump wants to be completely divorced of China. China has 74% of the rare earth minerals. Ukraine's got a ton of them. And Trump's like, hey, we've given you $300 billion. You pay us back in those, we're free from China. And I was like, oh, maybe this whole thing is starting to make sense. And then I saw this news conference and I'm like, I don't know if there's any game plan.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:44Dax Shepard?

  They were just gonna bring them there and fucking brawl beat them.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  We can't ever be free of China, right? They make shit, we buy shit.

• 7:49Dax Shepard?

  Everything in this room is probably from China.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  And that's okay. I agree. What's the problem? I think we should all be working together. This is a better world. What is it, two countries with McDonald's have never gone to war? I mean, Ukraine and Russia are fighting right now and surely they got McDonald's. But the idea.

• 8:05Dax Shepard?

  McDonald's was one that pulled out in the immediate.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  But then they just put Fikdonalds.

• 8:09Dax Shepard?

  Yes, exactly.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  They don't have Coca-Cola, they have Focacola, whatever it is. You're still making the money. Isn't Fanta just Nazi? Coke?

• 8:16Dax Shepard?

  Is it?

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Oh, no, it's orange.

• 8:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but like, I think, I don't know if it was a Coca-Cola company. Oh, God. You guys.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Fact check. We will fact check.

• 8:23Dax Shepard?

  By the way, that's not who you want to be in a court case with. Coca-Cola.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Why is it that bad?

• 8:27Dax Shepard?

  Well, they got some deep pockets.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  They do have deep pockets.

• 8:29Dax Shepard?

  Your pockets.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  From all that Nazi money.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  I think they might sponsor this show, so.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Oh, shoot. I'm sorry. My bad. We love Coke. It was Pepsi. That's what they, it was Pepsi that went out there.

• 8:39Dax Shepard?

  I don't care if I found out terrible stuff about Coke. I will not stop drinking Diet Coke.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Is it trashy to do this?

• 8:44Dax Shepard?

  I've got a spray and a nicotine.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  I love that you were doing the nicotine binaco on the pod when you came over, because I didn't understand what it was, but we got to feel something. All right, anyway. So tell me, I want to know all your things. I want to know all your things.

• 8:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I have a theory.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Okay, sure.

• 8:57Dax Shepard?

  You don't mind?

• 8:58Speaker 01

  I would love to hear your theory.

• 8:59Dax Shepard?

  I'd like to have the standard approach we always do. Let's get to know Andrew as just a boy.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Here's my thing. Knowing in the back of my head that there's a thing.

• 9:06Dax Shepard?

  It's gonna make you uneasy?

• 9:07Speaker 02

  I don't know if it's uneasy, but I'm almost just like, let's just get through what you think.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  And then we'll eventually get to.

• 9:13Dax Shepard?

  I just find this very powerful to hear someone's real story, to find out where are they coming from.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  I should probably trust you guys. You guys have done pretty well at this podcasting thing.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Hearing about you and your background and your life is important.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  All right, let's do it. Talk to me.

• 9:27Dax Shepard?

  Well, first and most exciting is your mother is a bombshell.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 9:31Dax Shepard?

  And when I was on your show, we discussed, well, I asked, she is a professional ballroom dancer.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Ooh la la.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Three-time US Ballroom Dance Champion.

• 9:40Dax Shepard?

  Not a big deal.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 9:41Dax Shepard?

  Three time.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  The goat.

• 9:42Dax Shepard?

  Who's the most winningest ever? Is there a woman with six or seven titles under her?

• 9:46Speaker 02

  We don't talk about those women.

• 9:47Dax Shepard?

  Under her spell.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  We don't discuss those women at all.

• 9:50Dax Shepard?

  Those women are bad.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Not in my family. Ginger Rogers and Sandra Cameron. Those are the only female ballroom dancers we've talked about.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Okay, so powerful mom.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:58Dax Shepard?

  From Scotland?

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Born and raised in Scotland.

• 10:00Dax Shepard?

  When did she come?

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Twenties, young, maybe like 20, 22, something like that.

• 10:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  You thought 1920s?

• 10:05Dax Shepard?

  Well, also you paired with the old bands and dancing, and I was like, how the fuck old, your mom's 105?

• 10:09Speaker 02

  She's a flapper. No, they came over here when she was working for the Australian Embassy and then like found some way to get over here through there.

• 10:17Dax Shepard?

  In pursuit of dancing?

• 10:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:19Dax Shepard?

  And then Andrew and his sweet father and mother had a ballroom dancing studio in Lower Manhattan.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  So yeah, my mom had a ballroom dance studio. My dad used to work in the news business. He was producing stories for NBC. And he did some cool stories. Like he did the first ever story on hip hop music for NBC.

• 10:33Dax Shepard?

  So in the eighties?

• 10:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he would go up and interview all these boxers. That's why I'm a boxing fan. My dad and I would just watch all these boxing fights. So there's like old footage of my dad shadow boxing with Muhammad Ali.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  Oh my God, cool.

• 10:44Dax Shepard?

  And he was in Vietnam?

• 10:47Speaker 02

  He was in the army during that time, but they wouldn't send him over.

• 10:50Dax Shepard?

  Too tall.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Too tall. Cause in the army, he asked to go over. He was like, this is the war of my generation. I don't really know what's going on. I kind of know what people are telling me what's going on, but I'd like to see it. Can I go over in any capacity? I don't want to go shoot people. I'll take pictures, whatever you want. And then what they said is everybody has a role in the army and then you have to stick to that role and we need you for whatever reason. This is back in the day. My dad's pretty old, so he's like 82. So he just walked into WBAL. This is Baltimore. This is where Oprah got her start. He asked him if he could be a journalist.

• 11:21Dax Shepard?

  He charmed them.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  No, he had a horrible stutter and he had to like work on it as an adult.

• 11:25Dax Shepard?

  That's charming though. People have a lot of compassion for someone with a stutter.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Well, he worked on it first.

• 11:31Dax Shepard?

  Perfecting the stutter?

• 11:32Speaker 01

  This is like King's Speech.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Making it great.

• 11:35Dax Shepard?

  Making him imperceptible when he spoke.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  But it was a time where you could like walk in and you could just put in an application to be an on air reporter.

• 11:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  That's what he did. So he was on air first and then when he came up to New York, he was producing stories. So he wasn't on air. He was looking at cool stuff.

• 11:52Dax Shepard?

  And was that the business that supported everything? Was he successful enough?

• 11:55Speaker 02

  My mom was the breadwinner and then my dad left the business and then started running the business with my mom.

• 12:01Dax Shepard?

  And did you ever work there?

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Did you dance?

• 12:03Speaker 02

  I can dance a little.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. My mom kind of had.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  So my mom, she didn't really pressure us because she kind of had a stage mom. So she was terrified of putting that pressure on us. But yeah, we learned the basics.

• 12:15Dax Shepard?

  You can be at a wedding and be the best person at the wedding.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  I don't know about the best.

• 12:19Dax Shepard?

  At a wedding, the bar is so. Low.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  The bar is low, especially for white dudes, too.

• 12:23Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I can do Runny Man and I crush.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  But can you do any ethnic shit?

• 12:28Dax Shepard?

  Hit me.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  What are the options?

• 12:29Dax Shepard?

  If salsa pops on. Greek thing, that's fun.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess they're ethnic. They're an ethnicity.

• 12:36Dax Shepard?

  They're an ethnicity, Andrew.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  They are an ethnicity.

• 12:39Dax Shepard?

  So it begins.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  Well, I don't have a problem with you saying white people are.

• 12:42Dax Shepard?

  Not an ethnicity.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm fine with that.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  I'll be white isn't ethnicity.

• 12:46Dax Shepard?

  Well, white's not.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Exactly, I agree.

• 12:49Dax Shepard?

  Scottish is. Definitely the Greeks, they started it all. Hellenic Studies.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  So they say.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  I think Africa really started it all.

• 12:56Dax Shepard?

  The Rift Valley started it all.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 12:58Dax Shepard?

  But the Greeks, boy, they gave us a lot of stuff.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  Why do we just skip in Asia?

• 13:01Speaker 01

  Asia's involved big time.

• 13:03Dax Shepard?

  They gave us some stuff. You got a real voter for Asia because you want all our shit to be built in China. And now you're coming back with their cultural contributions.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  I'm just saying, we talk about the beginning of civilization and we kind of skip, especially religion. We skip what's happening over there in India, don't we?

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, it's a big one.

• 13:17Dax Shepard?

  Well, the Indus Valley, also one of the very early civilizations. You did psych in college, I did anthro. So I'm hip to what was happening in these different regions. Great contributions, but Western Civ starts in Greece.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  In Greece. Okay, fair enough.

• 13:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay, good.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  What is Greece?

• 13:31Dax Shepard?

  What is it? Is it even a place?

• 13:33Speaker 02

  It's not really a place. It's a bunch of little cities.

• 13:35Dax Shepard?

  It's an idea.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  It's a bunch of little tribes that have now become a place, historically speaking. But back in the day, they would never go, I'm Greek. It was just the dominant culture, it was the dominant language. But there's nothing that unified these places. They're ready to go to war.

• 13:46Dax Shepard?

  They warded a lot.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  Like, is Alexander the Great Greek? Or is he Macedonian?

• 13:51Dax Shepard?

  Both.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  He's one.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  He's Macedonian. And then the Macedonians get no credit for whatever the fuck he did. Isn't that unfair?

• 14:00Dax Shepard?

  That's like saying, is he an Angelino or is he American?

• 14:03Speaker 02

  No, because they weren't a unified country.

• 14:05Dax Shepard?

  That's fair.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Italy's not even a unified country until 40 years ago.

• 14:09Dax Shepard?

  Back up, Andrew.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:10Dax Shepard?

  No. Zero to 800, Rome is entirely unified. In fact, they've unified all of Europe, the Roman Empire.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Zero to 800, yeah. And then after that.

• 14:19Dax Shepard?

  The Visigoths and the Ostogos come down from Gaul, which is Germany.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  But I didn't say Rome.

• 14:23Dax Shepard?

  Daphina.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  I said Italy.

• 14:25Dax Shepard?

  Yes, wonderful. It's changed names.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. I didn't see this.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  You thought you guys were gonna be a kicker.

• 14:32Dax Shepard?

  All right, moving on to the dance. What kind of jobs? Were you mopping? And were you talking to all these older women who were dancing?

• 14:40Speaker 02

  I mean, just hanging around. When I was really young, I'd pretend to teach with my mom. She would just kind of have me in the class and I'd just kind of stand next to her while she was doing it. Sometimes she would demonstrate with me and that was really exciting. I get to show off my cha-cha right now for all these adults.

• 14:52Dax Shepard?

  Probably everyone thought you were so cute.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 14:54Dax Shepard?

  This could be the birth of your confidence.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  You know what's interesting? If I'm gonna reflect on that, I was aware at a young age of being cute. I remember my mom went to like Betsy Johnson or something, like try on clothing. And I remember she would come out and I would go like, oh my God, Mom, you look beautiful. And then all the people are helping were like, oh, it's so sweet. And I was like, I just gotta say that. And then they all think I'm the nicest kid ever. I was aware of it, probably too young in age.

• 15:17Dax Shepard?

  You saw the math.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  Of how to be liked.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I probably wanted them to like me.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  As a boy, I'm sure.

• 15:22Dax Shepard?

  You're not dying to hear cute, but you are dying to hear some kind of approval and recognition you exist.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Oh, absolutely. There definitely has always been that need. It's scary to look at yourself like that sometimes.

• 15:33Dax Shepard?

  Well, because it feels narcissistic?

• 15:34Speaker 02

  No, it feels pathetic. You're like, I just want to be liked, but that is what I do for a living. Like, I go on stage.

• 15:40Dax Shepard?

  That's the human experience. That's not unique to performers.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  I agree. We need each other and we need that kind of connection. But I wonder if the reason why I can be confrontational with my opinions, it's me dealing with this idea that I do want to be liked, but I don't want it to be just about that. It has to be something else. There has to be some barrier of entry. It's not as simple as, let me just pander to you guys. That to me feels unearned.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Yep, not real, fake.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  I'm just like spitting right now. I have no clue.

• 16:07Dax Shepard?

  I'm with you because I have a similar ism, which is, I think I want to be liked, but I want to be liked for being brave and unique. So it's not just, I want general, you like me, because anyone could get that. I need a very special.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  We're on a different level of narcissism. It's like, you can like me for how I want to be liked.

• 16:23Dax Shepard?

  Exactly. Don't you dare like me.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Because I'm nice and kind.

• 16:26Dax Shepard?

  I feel like you would like me because I'm hot.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Dangerous.

• 16:28Dax Shepard?

  But that's off the table. So then I think we always think of becoming attention seekers and approval junkies because we weren't getting enough, but also the opposite could be true, which is...

• 16:38Speaker 02

  You could get it and it's enjoyable. It was awesome. Addictive. I got so much attention. My dad was the best dad in the whole fucking world. There wasn't a day where he wouldn't play baseball. I would have to tell him not to come to comedy shows. To this day, his dementia is no short term memory really. But if I asked him to come to every single comedy show that I was doing, it wouldn't even be an inconvenience. It would just be such a knee jerk, like, of course, we'll be there. Until I had a kid, I don't think I understood that. I thought that what my dad did, and I don't want to take anything away from it, but I never saw any of my friends' parents, not to shit on them, but go into the games and supporting. Your dads in the eighties were not at any of these things. It was a different time. He had a shitty dad, and I think that he dedicated his fatherhood experience to reversing that trend. He knocked it out the fucking park. It's what I was used to, and my boy Jamil was like,

• 17:23Speaker 02

  you do realize that your dad was the only dad at the basketball games? We played basketball for our high school. Now, after having a daughter, there isn't a thing that I don't want to be. It's not like a burden to go to gymnastics. I love being at gymnastics. It is seeing her just have the courage, like, just walk up to people and hand them something, a book. And she just walk up, she goes, you'll read this to me now. She's not talking, but like, this is what I want. A little boss. You love it, because those are the things you can't control in your child. Will you be courageous? Will you have confidence? Again, you have the genetics thing.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  The likable thing, and how you got a lot of it and you were liked and you knew how to do it. It almost seems like that was so easy that now you want to be liked despite, you want to be so unlikable, but people still like you. And that's the real proof of likability. And by the way, I think you've done that.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. That's kind of cool.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  I know that might sound insulting, but you are extremely likable and so funny. But I'm like, what is going on that we are going this far? And I do wonder if that's a piece of it. Are you still gonna like me even if I say this, this, and this?

• 18:31Speaker 02

  It's so weird. The analysis is probably right. We're looking at this in terms of the yearning to be liked, which is an uncomfortable thing to even admit about yourself.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Human.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Yes. At your core, you wish that you were like, I'm an artist, and I want to create my arts, and I want my art to be appreciated in this one thing. You want to take a position. I want to be absurdist or I want to be vulnerable. Edgy is such a corny word now, but like I want to be, uh, I don't know. What is it provocative? Yeah. Yeah. But if you peel back that layer, there's something else there that's probably more honest. So yes, I agree with you, but I'm curious about, okay.

• 19:01Dax Shepard?

  I'm in an interesting position, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If this were a spectrum, I'm not with you and I'm not with Monica.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  This is like what you guys think I am politically.

• 19:08Dax Shepard?

  Politically racially, you know, all these things that are kind of.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  The words that I'll use.

• 19:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  I guess the provocative nature you're saying.

• 19:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm in an interesting position because this morning I'm like, I need to do both things. This is my best friend. If it gets dicey, you're going down. But hold on, hold on, hold on.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. It's not gonna get dicey.

• 19:26Dax Shepard?

  This is just me mentally in my head.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:28Dax Shepard?

  Very relevant.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  He loves to defend.

• 19:31Dax Shepard?

  This is a really relevant.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Very likeable.

• 19:33Dax Shepard?

  Piece to this that I don't think is examined much. If you are in the suburbs in a predominantly white school and you're using stereotypes and there's only five minorities there, that is a rough situation. It's scary for those five and it's dangerous. Now, if you grew up and you're not the dominant group, you're among a very diverse group of kids. You playing on stereotypes isn't scaring those kids. And so I think what could be really dangerous for people to do is to apply the context you're in or that you're from to somebody else and globally. And what I will defend about you is you grew up in the East Village. You went to these schools that it wasn't all white.

• 20:17Dax Shepard?

  Your friendship group, which I have observed, is not white at all.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  We got a few whites.

• 20:21Dax Shepard?

  You got a few whities.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, a couple of whites in there.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  You need it for diversity.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, we got some DIs.

• 20:28Dax Shepard?

  But I don't think it's terribly fair for the white suburban person with no friends of color whatsoever to be telling you how you should interact with your very multi-ethnic group of friends who are all consenting and enjoying it. I don't think that's fair.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  I agree with you 100% and I still have empathy for them. The white guy from Maine who works for like NPR, who is truly trying to.

• 20:50Dax Shepard?

  Make the world better.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he's trying to protect these people that he doesn't really know.

• 20:54Dax Shepard?

  Exactly.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  And he might believe that they're under attack from these. Things that people are saying and his knee jerk reaction is to do the right human thing, which is to protect these people, but his ignorance is creating an inability to understand a social dynamic that he hasn't lived and there's ignorance that goes both ways. You could call me a lot of things, but when you talk about other cultures and that kind of stuff, I wouldn't say ignorant is one of them. What I'm always very proud of is nobody has a more diverse audience at their comedy shows than me.

• 21:21Dax Shepard?

  The thing that brought me to you is I saw a video of you in, I think Taiwan.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Russia.

• 21:27Dax Shepard?

  Taiwan.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  No, Australia.

• 21:28Dax Shepard?

  The audience is super Asian.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. The front row of all the Taiwanese guys.

• 21:32Dax Shepard?

  And you're making jokes directly to them that are very funny, very racial. It's not behind their back. There's no sense of superiority.

• 21:40Speaker 02

  Fun if they're not there. I don't do the joke if they're not there. Everybody has this discomfort. When they're there, it's actually more comfortable for everybody.

• 21:47Dax Shepard?

  Right. If they're laughing, it gives you permission to laugh.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  True, but even if they weren't laughing, it doesn't feel like we're hiding some nefarious act. It feels like there's enough trust there to have fun in this moment with these people.

• 22:00Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Which is what you do when you have close relationships with people from different cultures. You eventually build up enough trust and you hopefully don't go for like low hanging fruit shit. Where not only do they laugh at the joke, what I've seen at my shows is they feel seen. If you can know nuance and specific things about a culture. I'm a white guy from New York. Why do I sell out arenas in the Middle East? It's because I might say specific nuanced things about what's going on there and they're like, what the fuck? The takeaway from that, I hope is, oh shit, he like took a second to talk to people and learn about some things that no outsider would really know about. Most of them are coming here to party and fuck some Russian prostitute. He's sitting down and finding out how we date and how we use airdrop pictures to hit on girls without them even knowing.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  And if the girl accepts it, that's how we can talk, but we want to avoid public humiliation. So we won't walk up to a woman because culturally that might be shunt. I think that's the takeaway. And then I think what happens is the casual sees like a 30 second clip with the caption, this guy's a bad guy. They watch it with that context, which I get.

• 23:01Dax Shepard?

  Well, and a lot of people are just watching things to police, whether or not it falls into what they would do.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Well.

• 23:08Dax Shepard?

  Counterpoint. That's kind of my defensive view is I know what it's like to be in a poor neighborhood in Detroit, living in an apartment building where all my neighbors are everything and it's on because we all trust each other. We love each other and it's very fun for all of us. And I'm watching your special last night and I'm like, here's the truth. A ton of Latinas and Latinos are going to be offended.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  None will.

• 23:27Dax Shepard?

  And a ton are gonna love it.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  This is where you gotta understand Latin culture. They don't care about those things.

• 23:32Dax Shepard?

  No, I did have a personal experience with this that I'll share, but no, I think there are some Latinos living in a predominantly white suburb that you're gonna see that and it's gonna be scary.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Like what joke?

• 23:42Dax Shepard?

  Just hearing you do their accent. They're gonna think, oh, I'm gonna go.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  This is not a reality.

• 23:47Dax Shepard?

  Wait, give me one second.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, go, go, go, go.

• 23:49Dax Shepard?

  They're hearing that. They're going, fuck, I'm gonna go to school and every white dude's gonna think they can come up to me and do their Latino accent. That's a portion.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  You know, I speak Spanish, right?

• 23:59Dax Shepard?

  I believe it. I'm not against you. I'm trying to point the two options. One is that, I can definitely see how that's gonna happen.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:07Dax Shepard?

  And then I can also see that tons of Latinos and Latinos are going to love it. Now, my point is, it's okay if a ton love it and a ton don't like it. It's not being forced. They're not showing it at school or before movies. Just don't watch that thing. Allow the people that like it to like it.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  People are allowed to not like things. I think the big issue with comedy right now is this idea that people aren't allowed to be offended or aren't allowed to feel uncomfortable. You can react however you want to react to anything.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  You're entitled to your reaction. If you find it funny, that's great. If you don't find it funny, that's also great. If you feel uncomfortable and offended by it, that's great. And on a person-to-person interaction, like if I'm saying something and I'm teasing you about being a cheerleader or whatever, and you go, hey, that was like a really uncomfortable time in my life. I don't want you to tell me more cheerleading jokes. You know what I'll never do with you is another cheerleading joke. I will continue to tell cheerleading jokes.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Globally.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Globally. But to you, it's being an asshole, essentially.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  I hear you. Look, I find this all extremely complicated because I.

• 25:08Dax Shepard?

  Don't go anywhere.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Because bye.

• 25:10Dax Shepard?

  You made your point and now you're out?

• 25:12Speaker 02

  This house is comfortable, but like.

• 25:14Dax Shepard?

  But terrible.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  There's something about it. It feels as if I should be comfortable. My shirt is riding up, my pants are riding.

• 25:20Dax Shepard?

  Your zins are bouncing now.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, what the hell is going on?

• 25:22Speaker 01

  It's our second couch too. We cannot get it right.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  No, you're doing great.

• 25:26Dax Shepard?

  No one liked your first couch either.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  You're doing perfect. Okay, tell me, tell me.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Okay, so I did grow up in suburban America, Duluth, Georgia, southern. And look, there's no Indian jokes in that show.

• 25:37Dax Shepard?

  You made it out alright.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  But I'm watching it like, you watch the Golden Globes and you know Nikki Glaser's gonna do a joke about you and you're watching it like, when's it gonna hit, when's it gonna hit? And you know, it doesn't come, but I do feel a lot of empathy. Okay, let's take it out of race, but the end of your special, which by the way, I thought your special was hilarious. I cried.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 25:56Dax Shepard?

  At the baby party, yeah.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  And I also have frozen my eggs.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. It was beautifully done.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  And then at the end, I was like, why? There's an entire piece at the very end about special needs. And your fans will probably be mad that I even said special needs and I'm not gonna say.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  You don't feel comfortable saying retarded.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  I don't feel comfortable.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  That's fine. You don't have to say it. I can say it because it's my embryos.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Sure, sure.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  If I have retarded embryos, yeah, I can call them whatever I want. They're mine.

• 26:25Dax Shepard?

  This is my argument about molesting jokes. People yell at me, I'm like, no, no.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  I earned it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:29Dax Shepard?

  If I have one thing I can do, I can make a fucking Boy Scout joke.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  But you don't have a kid that has special needs.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  God, yeah, that's true.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  So my point is, if you're taking your daughter to school, which you will, and it'll be beautiful and wonderful. And there are gonna be kids there that have special needs and their parents are gonna be there. And they will probably have seen it because I'm sure it's gonna do amazingly well.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  Hopefully, that'd be great if people watch it.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  It will. And I just wonder, will you care?

• 26:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  Will it bother you?

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Well, it depends how they feel about it. If they see it and they're like, hey, that really like hurt me and made me feel really uncomfortable. Then in that personal interaction, I'll feel bad that somebody was hurt by it, a person.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Right, but you won't be like, oh, fuck, maybe I shouldn't do that again.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  I don't feel bad about people telling me to feel bad on behalf of people that we don't even know if they feel bad.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  I hear that.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  It's like Latinx.

• 27:18Dax Shepard?

  You're apologizing to advocates a lot.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  I never apologize.

• 27:21Dax Shepard?

  No, no, I'm just saying, you feel like, who am I apologizing to?

• 27:24Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna apologize to some white guy from Maine who's like, we- We have to call Mexicans Latinx. And then I asked my Mexican friends and I'm like, yo, what's up with this Latinx? They're like, is that a movie? Like, they have no clue what that is. They hate it. Because they know it's white people projecting.

• 27:37Speaker 01

  It's pandering.

• 27:38Dax Shepard?

  And advocating for them and they didn't ask.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  It's white people going, look how good I am.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  And you're using minorities to feel good about yourself. Don't use them. Why don't you have a conversation with them? Why don't you befriend them and see what they actually care about? Instead of sitting in some like Ivy League institution and going, how can we get more pats on the back?

• 27:56Speaker 01

  I a hundred percent agree with you.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. Now we can get into like a political.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  When I'm watching that and everyone's laughing, it is so clear. Yes, people want to be able to laugh at things that are funny. They do not like being told they can't laugh at it or that it's not funny when that's their instinct. They know it is.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  And I get it. And that's why we're here and that's why we have Trump and I get it.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  We tried really hard to have democratic representation on the pod around the election. Mark Cuban was the only guy who came on. Buttigieg said he was gonna come on, then he's like, I have to do debate prep, which I give him. And then we tried to get Waltz and then he got into his little saying he did things he didn't do.

• 28:31Dax Shepard?

  What'd he do?

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't even.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  He was like, I was at the Civil War. I was at the Battle of Gettysburg. We're like, no, you weren't. And he was like, no, I was flying one of the planes during Pearl Harbor. Like, he just kept on saying shit that he didn't do and then you just can't do that.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, I mean, I think at this point, they're all.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  Are you gonna defend him saying that he was in Tiananmen Square?

• 28:52Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Are you gonna sit on the pod right now? I'm telling you, this is where the Dems lose.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  No, I know.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  They can't just be like, yo, that was dumb.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  It was, but everyone else is lying too.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Remember when Elon gave his heart out?

• 29:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  It was dumb.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  And if the Republicans do the same shit the Democrats did for the last four years where they go, oh, you're exaggerating. What the hell is wrong with you? We're right back in the same fucking place. You did some goofy shit.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Say you did it, it was goofy and we move on. Don't gaslight me.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  You're saying that on behalf of Republicans, but the Republicans I know, which are many from home, they are defending everything Trump does, which is insanity.

• 29:29Speaker 02

  But I'm not saying on behalf of Republicans. I'm saying on behalf of me, Andrew Schulz. This is my opinion.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  You're saying the Dems and I'm just saying in general, I think the Republicans.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Well, because we were talking about Waltz. I'm saying Democrats, we tried to get a bunch of Dems on the pod and I think that they were a little bit hesitant. I think you saw the Kamala interviews were a little bit more scripted.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Definitely.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  And this is the burden of being the progressive party. You have to push for progress. We don't get here without progress. Keep in mind, I'm from an arts family in New York City.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  I grew up Democrat, super liberal. Went to UCSB. Ballet. I think what happened is the party of progress has to keep seeking more progress as it should. The burden of the party progress is alienating the groups that you're trying to create more equity, opportunity and equal treatment. You can't really sit down on a pod and shoot the shit like you would without the cameras rolling. When in your mind, you're going, fuck, if I don't acknowledge these pronouns, then this group is going to be upset. And if I could dissect a little bit more, the major criticism I would have, and I think the thing is really difficult is I was a big Bernie guy. Despite maybe not agreeing with him on economic policy, I agreed that he wanted to help. I like people that want to help. I might not agree with AOC on economic policy. That chick wants to help.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, big time.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  And that's why her district voted for her and Trump. So these are the things that we got to key into and people need help. You don't celebrate Luigi Mangione shooting that guy if you don't need help. So for me, when I'm seeing that, I go, the Dems are kind of shackled to identity politics. Cause they're afraid of making it what it really should be, which is a class war, which Bernie did and got all the support. He's like, these billionaires, they're taking all your money. You guys need to get paid more. We need to make sure that these jobs are secure. We need to tax these motherfuckers so that money can trickle down to the rest of you. And all of us saw that and we're like, who the fuck is this guy? This guy's awesome. I think there are people in the Democratic Party that were like, hey, those billionaires give us a lot of money. This is interesting parallel. We got to get rid of this guy.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  So I think Bernie Sanders got a problem and they're called the Bernie bros. And the Bernie bros are sexist and they're bigoted and they're racist. To me, they played the exact same handbook with the manosphere pods. Oh, these guys are sexist and they're bigoted and they're racist. And it's just like, no, you're too scared to call out the real thing that Americans need help with. Which is billion dollar corporations and these fucking trillionaire human beings that seemingly do not care about the working class people. Once they get back into working class, how do we put money in their pockets? How do we make eggs cheap? And stop worrying about the identity politics? I think Democrats. See you later. If I can't afford eggs, I can't care about the bathrooms. I need eggs. My daughter eats so many.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  The amount of eggs this girl eats. Eggs and blueberries is all they eat. If the Democrats said, right now, we're gonna make blueberries free and eggs free, I don't even say the word Republican again in my life.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  If Democrats said eggs are gonna be free and blueberries are gonna be free, the Republicans aren't still going to push the identity politics side. I mean, it's still gonna be there. The Democratic Party is not gonna say, we actively don't care.

• 32:30Dax Shepard?

  We've already had this debate. I want to know if you and I agree. I think a lot of the left is viewing this under the lens that he won. And I think that's the wrong lens. The correct lens is, we lost. We did not offer something appealing enough to vote for. Our side did not offer a platform that the majority of Americans wanted to vote for. Forget about him.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  People try to give the pods credit for Trump's win.

• 32:54Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  And I'd literally say, we did nothing. Maybe what we did is made people feel more comfortable saying what they were gonna vote for out loud.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, 100%.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Remember when Biden won? It wasn't because people were voting for Biden. It was a rejection of Trump and the temperature. It was just exhausting. Everything was a fight every single day. They're like, yeah, we just need to return to normalcy.

• 33:15Dax Shepard?

  Exactly. They rejected him and then they rejected us.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  So now, this election, in my opinion, yes, he's incredibly popular and there are people that love him. Without a doubt. I'm not undermining that.

• 33:26Dax Shepard?

  But I think that's like 30%.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  It is a small.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  This was a rejection of the institution in power and the Democrats were in power. And it was a rejection of what people thought were the most important things to that party. Now, there could have been way more important things, but if they're not communicated in a way where we can digest it.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  That's what I want to hear. How, I'm really asking, what is a good way to send that message?

• 33:49Speaker 02

  What message do you want to send?

• 33:49Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think there's a huge dissonance between what the official party is and what all the members of the party I talked to are.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 34:06Dax Shepard?

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• 34:51Dax Shepard?

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• 35:33Dax Shepard?

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• 36:23Speaker 04

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• 36:41Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Skims. Okay, I have a confession. I genuinely love matching pajamas. It's the best part of Christmas morning, really. Everyone in the same matching set looking ridiculously cute in front of the tree.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  I love matching pajamas. I'm literally going to be in coordinating sets with all my friends this holiday season because I got them, spoiler to my friends who are listening, the same Skims pajama set I've been living in. They are so soft and cozy and they look cute. So you can leave the house and go get a late night hot chocolate and be cozy.

• 37:17Dax Shepard?

  It's so great how Skims has sets for everyone, too. Women's, men's, kids, even your pets. So nobody in your life has to be left out this year.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  I have a bunch of different pajama sets. One of my favorite is the organic cotton sleep long sleeve set.

• 37:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay, tell me more.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  It is so comfortable, very chic, too. The top is a button down, but very, very soft, easy to sleep in. But as I said before, you can multi-purpose this and look super cute.

• 37:46Dax Shepard?

  Hot chocolate runs. It's like the pajamas we grew up in, except without the scratchy polyester that made opening presents feel more like a hot yoga class that nobody signed up for.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  All the nostalgia, none of the discomfort. Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select Armchair Expert in the drop down menu that follows. If you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 38:15Dax Shepard?

  This episode is supported by Helix.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about how November is basically survival mode between the holidays, the travel, the hosting, the cooking, the everything? Sleep is the one thing keeping me from completely unraveling.

• 38:29Dax Shepard?

  It really is the foundation, and I think people underestimate how much a bad mattress is quietly ruining their day. You wake up stiff, your back's angry, you're already behind before your feet hit the floor.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  That was me before Helix. I took their sleep quiz, which is so fast, it took me like two minutes, and they matched me to a mattress that actually fits how I sleep. Not a guess, not a firm or soft coin flip, it's a real match. I have a midnight mattress, and I really like it. I was noticing it because I actually had to sleep in one of my other beds recently that doesn't have a Helix mattress on it, and I really could tell a big difference in my sleep.

• 39:02Dax Shepard?

  Temperature was all over the map.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  It was a mess. I need a new one.

• 39:05Dax Shepard?

  Look, they've got over 20 mattress models, so whether you sleep hot, need extra back support, or you've got a partner who moves around all night, there's one built for you. Plus, free shipping and a 365-night happy with Helix guarantee. That's a full year to decide.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Helix has been named the most awarded mattress by Forbes, Wired, and more. So it's not just us being enthusiastic, the experts agree.

• 39:27Dax Shepard?

  Right now, Helix is running their Black Friday sale with up to 30% off. Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. Helixsleep.com/armchair.

• 39:51Dax Shepard?

  I hate to get back into the water again, but it's like I have only liberal friends. I'm surrounded by hundreds of them. I've talked to, no, I have Republican friends, but I live in Los Angeles and I'm in show business, but I am talking with liberals nonstop. And when the topic of should trans women compete in the Olympics, none of them think that, but that is the official message of the party.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  But is it?

• 40:14Dax Shepard?

  It kind of is.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  No, this is where I have to push back. I actually don't think it is, but I think that is what gets brought up all the time when there is debate.

• 40:24Dax Shepard?

  The right is so fueled by it. Why can't we stand up and go, we don't think that's a good idea either? No one's allowed to do that.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  This is a good discussion. I agree with you where I don't think that's the official platform of the party. But to what we were saying earlier, the fear of ostracizing a group, they will not remove themselves from it. And I think that what the Republicans have done really well is painted them with the most extreme beliefs of the party. And I think Democrats have done that well to Republicans too. I think this is a political process, unfortunately. The only problem is, it seems like Americans are more comfortable with the most extreme version of Republicans right now than they are with the most extreme version of Democrats.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  I know, which I think is so interesting because the person running was the most extreme version of the Republican Party. Trump is, and Biden, they're not extremely far left.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  No, they're quite centrist, but they just won't go out there and be like, there's not 67 genders. They won't go out there and say that trans women shouldn't compete. And also that trans discussion is even more nuanced. Like, there's a thing that people don't say, which is, should they compete against women, women, or whatever you want to call women now?

• 41:32Dax Shepard?

  Cis women.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Cis women, yeah. No. But we can also say, it sucks for them. That is so unfortunate that you're in that situation.

• 41:41Dax Shepard?

  Let's make a category. I actually am supportive of their right to compete, and I acknowledge that they're a woman. I want that right for them, but not at the expense of 20 other people.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  I agree. And I feel like a lot of times in the discourse, there's not even room on Twitter for the little bit of empathy in the middle. So it seems so rigid and harsh. And we're getting things in 180 characters or whatever the character limit is. There's room to be like, man, it sucks that that person... Because I do believe that there are trends with things. So I think that there are some young kids that are probably identifying as trans that might not actually be, not only trans. I think that happens with a lot of people.

• 42:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, you're trying on some stuff.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  And then there are people who are trans.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  And if, my guess is that competing in the Olympics is not even the top 100 of the things that those people care about.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 42:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  They do not.

• 42:29Dax Shepard?

  Well, we're talking about three or four athletes on the planet that are gonna want to do this.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  And now they're the talking point of every show and they're just out here going, I'm just trying to be a barista at this thing and everybody who comes up wants to ask me if I should be a swimmer. And you're like, I don't give a fuck about swimming.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  That's the problem is I think the Republicans have used that as a Trojan horse.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Effectively.

• 42:50Dax Shepard?

  My issue is we're not fighting back.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  No, you're not.

• 42:52Dax Shepard?

  We gave it to them on a silver platter.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  I don't want to piss them off.

• 42:55Dax Shepard?

  And no one on the left will stand up and say.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  You're playing prevent defense and what you need is Americans inherently identify as brave and we like to take risk. Anything that looks risky is exciting for us. I actually think there's some biological component to that. Every one of our family members that came here, we're the crazies.

• 43:10Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  We're the people that left our entire family.

• 43:13Dax Shepard?

  Our rate of bipolar is 10 acts of Japan.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  I love that. I want to be happy, happy and then I'll deal with the sad sad. So knowing that, I think we want to see some bravery in the Democratic Party. I want to see some congressman that goes, hey, housing is a problem. I don't give a fuck about these developers. We're taking that land right there. We're building 10,000 affordable housing units. That's happening this year. These developers are gonna try to say, oh, we've had that and we actually have a plan for this in the future. We're like, no, I'm sorry, it is what it is. In the same way that Trump goes, we're taking Greenland, but make it about helping and class. Make it about money. Stop making about these other issues. The majority of Americans don't really care about right now.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, and a lot of them don't have the luxury of caring.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  It is a privilege to care about other people's shit.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Hundred percent agree.

• 44:01Dax Shepard?

  And to have a party that actively shames those people for not caring is not the way forward.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  But it is also the party that's trying to help those people. Maybe that just needs to be more explicit that we are the party that is gonna lower the price of eggs. Or slash, the reason that they're expensive is because of bird. I mean, the price of eggs currently is $20 and you can't even find them. It obviously has nothing to do with politics that the eggs are expensive. Maybe they just need to fucking say that.

• 44:32Dax Shepard?

  Subsidize them.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  We do it with everything else. We do it with corn, we do it with cheese, we do it with milk.

• 44:36Dax Shepard?

  All these big companies.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, Walmart, I'm paying half their fucking staff. So somebody pay for my eggs. I'm just saying, present the idea. Give me some hope. We like abundance. Democrats, you gotta sell me on abundance. That's what Americans want. I want an abundance of eggs. Every American family should get forty-eight eggs a week.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  But then what about with the stimulus checks? That's abundance, and then everyone was mad about that?

• 44:59Speaker 02

  Nobody was mad about that. Who?

• 45:00Speaker 01

  You thought it was a bad idea?

• 45:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, rich people. No, I didn't. Rich people are mad. Poor people are like, Trump is the man. I want to be on Reagan.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Biden did stimulus checks.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  No, it was the Trump stimmy.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Was it not the Trump stimmy?

• 45:12Speaker 01

  No, he kept those checks going and going.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  Trump put his name on the check. So when the check first hit the lower-income neighborhoods, they were like, oh, Trump gave me twelve hundred? Yes, COVID started as he took office. So he had stimulus. Both parties did it.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Biden kept it going for a long time, and then people were like, why is he still doing this? And he's using all the money?

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Rich people were worried about inflation because inflation affects rich people. I'm not saying more, but it affects the amount of buying power they have. So when they have twenty million in the bank and they're seeing inflation go up twenty-five percent, they're like, wait, I got fifteen million? I lost five million dollars. They're upset. Poor people, they just see another twelve hundred hit and they go, I'm rich. When the Republicans said with the Doge thing, which I think is being handled poorly, but they're like, with the savings from Doge, we think that we'll give five thousand dollars back to every American. They're not gonna do that. But the second that hit the headline, people were like, Doge is incredible.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  That's sad to me. They're not gonna get it.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  We're in the weeds on every single policy now. I'm probably communicating this poorly. I'm acting as if I'm trying to justify policy. I'm not talking about policy. I'm talking about emotional reaction to stimulus. It's really important to understand how Americans emotionally react to the things that you're telling us. I think Democrats, right now, it's like, we know better. We'll take care of you. No, the elitism is an issue on the left. Get them out. I need working class. AOC, I need that. There was this guy fucking trolling me. He's some Kennedy nepo baby. Jack Schlossberg. He's like JFK's grandson or something. And he's like talking all this shit. He got upset at me because I said I didn't know a guy who identifies as a Democrat that's over five-nine, which was very hurtful. Because I think their insecurities, the perception is a lack of masculinity.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  And I think that kind of hurt. I'm just busting balls with Charlamagne on the pod. Charlamagne's 5'7" and he's a Democrat. Like, I'm teasing my friend.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:55Dax Shepard?

  Is he 5'7"?

• 46:56Speaker 02

  On a good day.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  But the point is, the face of the party should not be like a fourth generation trust fund Nepo baby who's never had a real job telling working class Americans.

• 47:09Dax Shepard?

  No friends that weren't white and also rich.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  This can't be the Democrat Party.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  But that is the face of the Republican Party and it worked.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  It's a great point. Here's the difference. And this is what people do not like to acknowledge. Trump doesn't sound rich. When he talks, he sounds poor.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess you're really right.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Like he's from the neighborhood. They asked him today, "And what happens if Russia does not do the ceasefire?" She goes, "What if, what if that happens?" He goes, "What if, what if someone drops a bomb and it blows up on your head?"

• 47:39Dax Shepard?

  Nope.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  That's how Frank from the neighborhood would answer a question.

• 47:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  So he communicates in a way that is super relatable to those people despite his life not being at all relatable.

• 47:53Dax Shepard?

  I often play out the scenario when I go on other podcasts, and I know they're very right-leaning, and I think they all think I'm super duper liberal.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  I never thought that was your perspective.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Well, it's not.

• 48:02Dax Shepard?

  It's not. I'm a centrist. I'm a pragmatist. Both sides have good ideas. Both sides have terrible ideas.

• 48:10Dax Shepard?

  For the listener, I got a big covert wig.

• 48:15Dax Shepard?

  I have imaginary debates on these podcasts that never happen. There are many policies on the right I agree with. I don't have a boner for a guy who fucking grew up and got handed a billion dollars.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:27Dax Shepard?

  If I told you, "You're gonna love my friend Mike, dude. His fucking dad gave him a billion dollars and he doesn't pay the contractors that do his shit." If I described that guy to you, you'd be like, "This guy's a fucking asshole."

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:38Dax Shepard?

  So I don't have a boner for that guy. I don't understand the boner for the guy.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  I think the assumption is the boner for him is that he's this real estate guru.

• 48:49Dax Shepard?

  No, I don't think that's the boner. The boner is, I'm so fucking sick of being Told how I have to act and behave all the time and this guy is telling me no, I can say what I fucking want to say and I'm not going to disappear and get erased over it.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Make me feel seen. Everybody wants to feel seen. They want to feel heard.

• 49:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So I get it. I also acknowledge, talk about the elitism. It's like, we made a very specific choice at a very specific time under Clinton where we said, we're going to have a brain economy. That was a good theory. Let's not rely on manufacturing. Let's get everyone smart. Let's be in finance. Let's be in technology. We pivoted. We made a lot of policy decisions and after being one of them.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Clinton was the first Doge. They fired 300,000 government workers.

• 49:29Dax Shepard?

  But the result of which was, guess what? 20% of the population didn't go into the brain economy. All these young men, they didn't get a place in this new economy and we need to fucking acknowledge that. And that is part of this. They wouldn't even articulate what the elitism is, but it's that. That's great. You guys are all went to college and you're all making all this money in finance and tech and all this shit. There's no fucking jobs for me. There's no assembly line for me anymore. This party who made this decision completely abandoned 20% of the country, which is these young men. And that's a dangerous fucking group to have disenfranchised.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I agree.

• 50:04Dax Shepard?

  So that's a big, big problem.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  So how do we look out for them?

• 50:07Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's what I'm saying. The left has to be about the left, unions, manufacturing, the stuff that's always been part of the left.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  But I do think Hillary was like, we got to retrain. This is an issue. There's so many people that don't have jobs, but those jobs aren't coming back.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  There is nobody less risk averse than Hillary. She might've been incredible. I don't know because she didn't become president, but I'm telling you just the emotional perception of her. It doesn't feel like there would be the change that people need.

• 50:32Dax Shepard?

  She felt like status quo.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Exactly. And I think that that's what people are rejecting.

• 50:35Dax Shepard?

  I love her.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  I did too.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  You love her.

• 50:36Dax Shepard?

  I think she is the most competent person that probably could have ever had that job. She was an incredible secretary of state. She's been in every angle of this system. And she's incredibly smart and she has handled one of the most hard to handle human beings imaginable.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Bill?

• 50:50Dax Shepard?

  Yes. As a husband.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Think you're infantilizing Bill a bit.

• 50:53Dax Shepard?

  Same more.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  She's handled him? You mean the fucking president? The guy who was able to do it? One of the greatest communicators in history?

• 51:01Dax Shepard?

  The guy who was uber charismatic.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Unbelievable.

• 51:04Dax Shepard?

  Very powerful and she could work with that system.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:09Dax Shepard?

  And still exist and be equal and that's a skill set.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  That is a skill set. It's not that easy to do.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  I don't know. Again, I don't know.

• 51:16Dax Shepard?

  I think a lot of women would have gotten run over by a guy like Bill. And that did not happen to her. She's an incredibly strong, determined, smart.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  I'm not saying that she's not intelligent or determined. Obviously she's very ambitious. A hundred percent.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  You're just saying she turned people off.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I think it's important if we don't acknowledge that.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  No, she did. Obviously.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Even like me coming in here, there are things that I probably said that had turned you off or other people off. I can't be like, cause you guys are wrong. I'm doing something that makes you feel that way. I mean, it's easy for me to chalk it up to, oh, a headline is positioned in this way. But at the same time, I either have to accept that I will have what I say kind of manipulated to fit a narrative. And people will think a certain way about me and that's what I take and I get in bed with. So that I can do comedy the way that I want to do it. Not to make it about me.

• 52:02Dax Shepard?

  No, no, yeah, yeah, we're done.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  We are, yes.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  I'm just giving example of, I have to live with that. For me, I think the best version of America is when we have two really awesome, competent people running. It's a really difficult choice.

• 52:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  That I'm really excited for, but in order for us to do it, both sides have to listen to what the American people actually want. And we need a process that lets those people flourish.

• 52:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Can we?

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Sorry, I have one more question.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  Go, go, go, go, go.

• 52:25Dax Shepard?

  Last political thing.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  It's not political.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  Are we in a rush? I don't know how long you guys got.

• 52:29Dax Shepard?

  There's other things I want to get to other than your political leanings.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  This is more fun.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  It is fun, right? Cause we're passionate about it. I think it's important for you to hear a perspective like mine. Because it forms your opinions more. You're like, oh, wow. They don't see it like that. I love having conversations with people that I might disagree on something.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Cause my opinions get sharper. I'm like, oh, I'm hitting this too bluntly and I'm ostracizing all these people. I would do that with the trans athlete thing. I didn't have space for how much it must suck to be a trans person and not having anywhere to go. And just acknowledging that makes my opinion way more digestible.

• 53:03Dax Shepard?

  I use my wife. I don't even know that I use her that way, but I hit her with things and she goes, you have a really great point, but you need to soften it in this way. What you're saying is scary. You have to acknowledge you. Care about these people first.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  I mean, it circles back to exactly what you were just saying about how the Democrats need to position themselves. It's packaging and you have to say you care about this and this. All the same thing. It's how to communicate effectively. But also, do you worry because you seem like you want peace essentially? This is like Chappelle's thing where he heard the laugh when they were doing the sketch and he was like, oh, they don't get it. That laugh is filled with hatred. I gotta pivot. And I wonder when you look at the crowd and they're laughing at a joke that is nuanced. You're smart and you've thought it through.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  I don't know if I'm smart, but yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Clearly you are and it's nuanced.

• 53:53Dax Shepard?

  You're also handsome.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Dude, you better stop it.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Do you ever worry I'm contributing to this silo because a lot of people do not understand nuance?

• 54:00Speaker 02

  I don't worry about it a single bit because I think that people have the responsibility for their own actions. So there are going to be people that laugh at a joke because they appreciate the nuance in it. There are going to be people that laugh at the joke.

• 54:11Dax Shepard?

  Because they're fucking racist.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, they might be racist.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  There are.

• 54:14Dax Shepard?

  You can't be a different person because of that. I defend Stern that way for years. It's like a lot of people aren't in on his thing.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  But Stern changed.

• 54:20Dax Shepard?

  But that's on them. He can't be a different person to cater to the dumbest person and worry about. He has to be who he is.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Because now he's not creating for you.

• 54:27Dax Shepard?

  He's nuanced.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  I want to create for me.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  But he did evolve, I think, because of that.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  But you're also allowed to evolve. That's the beautiful thing too, is I try to take time off in between every special or tour, specifically so I can reflect on the change in my life. I don't have this special. I mean, if anybody's listening still right now, they probably think the special is making fun of Latinos.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  Especially with my sperm not working and it'd be really difficult for my wife and I to get pregnant. And this story of this journey that led us to IVF. My point is you need to be able to reflect on what's going on in your life, at least for me creatively. But what I try to do is when I'm in creative mode, I don't listen to any criticism. I don't listen to any other comedians. I want to create authentically as I can. Because that's the most pure version of who I am right now. And then how the world interprets that is really up to what they care about.

• 55:19Dax Shepard?

  It's almost none of your business.

• 55:20Speaker 02

  It kind of is. Selfishly, I want things to be successful, of course. I'm ambitious. This and competitive. At the same time, if there's a cultural necessity for the thing that I'm talking about, it will be really successful. If there isn't, it will be less successful, but it's the thing that matters to me right now. And if I start worrying about what all these different people are thinking, I won't do it authentically pure. And I know my heart is good. I know I don't have hatred for people. And if I did, it wouldn't be funny. It would be angry. And I've written jokes that were angry and they don't work. It makes people feel uncomfortable.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Especially if you've been on the opposite end of any of these jokes ever, you can tell the difference between when there's hatred underneath it.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  And when there's not. When I watch, I was texting my friend about this and I was like, there's no hatred there. I can really, really feel that. There are other really popular standups that people love that I'm like, uh, uh.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  I think that innately we can sense it because I've even sensed it. You know, there's times there's comedians that do jokes about white people that are so funny. My introduction to comedy is Eddie Murphy, Def Comedy Jam, Kings of Comedy. So many white jokes. They're funny. We gotta be able to laugh at ourselves.

• 56:28Dax Shepard?

  We're so fucking dorky.

• 56:29Speaker 02

  Dude, the Phil Jackson walk that he's doing, he's doing this Scotty. Phil Jackson is a coach of the Chicago, you know, okay, that's pure sexism right there.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  No, it's fine. It's fine.

• 56:38Speaker 02

  Pure sexism. You should know that.

• 56:40Dax Shepard?

  We love the last dance. You don't know many other coaches.

• 56:43Speaker 01

  That's fair enough. Yeah.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  To me, I just never felt any like mouse or hatred. And then I have seen certain people that they make white jokes, for example, and I'm like, oh, wow, you really just don't like white people.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  And what is interesting about it is it's not as funny.

• 56:57Dax Shepard?

  When they lock onto a truth that we all feel, but when you have hatred, I don't have that hatred. So I can't really connect to that.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  And maybe there's some love in it. Ideally, I'm pointing out really specific things.

• 57:06Dax Shepard?

  I've observed you. I've seen you. I've paid attention. I'm interested in you and I know this about you.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, like I love you.

• 57:12Dax Shepard?

  There's something very complimentary.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  This is my gift. I'm going to the show. You don't expect me to talk about you and the things in your local community.

• 57:20Dax Shepard?

  Run when you're here in LA. You would think you lived in LA. You would have to live in LA to know all of those tiny things. And the Armenians in the audience fucking loved it.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Some online were upset and it was interesting to see some online were. Defending it. They were like, he was just doing this to all of us. Everybody got it. It's all good and that's okay. The people upset can be upset about it.

• 57:41Dax Shepard?

  That's a good segue for me. So I understand fully how you're at peace. In fact, to go behind the curtain. When I did your show, I just like you a ton.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Respect. Feeling is mutual.

• 57:50Dax Shepard?

  And I've gotten some flack for liking you. All right.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  Yep, sure.

• 57:53Dax Shepard?

  You have some war with Kimmel, which is unfortunate. I'm like,

• 57:55Speaker 02

  No, I love Kimmel.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  We love Kimmel.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  I love Jimmy.

• 57:58Speaker 01

  We have a statue of him.

• 58:00Dax Shepard?

  But you guys had some battle. Let's not get bogged down in that one.

• 58:03Speaker 02

  Jimmy, I love you because Jimmy's close to Charlamagne too, and he's close to Matt. He was doing this back and forth with Aaron Rodgers. And I felt like he started with jokes and then Aaron had a joke. And then I think Jimmy got some real life circumstances that affected him. I think he got some death threats and that kind of shit.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's under attack.

• 58:19Dax Shepard?

  Well, there's signs up around LA, these wackos.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  There's a lot of crazy people out there. Then he made it not about jokes. I was like, yo, you opened the door with jokes. He responded with jokes and then you were like, what you're doing is dangerous. And Jimmy's always someone who I've looked at and admired. He has iconic TV shows, comedy history, edgy shit. That to me, I felt little let down. You clown this guy on national TV on one of the biggest shows. He clipped you back. To me, I'm like, that doesn't seem fair.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  Like a Drake Kendrick thing, which also.

• 58:50Dax Shepard?

  Hold on, this is what I'm leaning to. So yeah, you got the Kimmel thing. I'm like, ah, it's a bummer. I'm still gonna be out loud liking you. Hopefully he doesn't think it's a betrayal.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  Don't feel that way, Jimmy, about anybody. I hope you know that.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Jimmy is our favorite person.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  Everybody I've ever met says that he's the best. Obviously we haven't connected with one another, but please don't be upset.

• 59:09Dax Shepard?

  Maybe this will be the elephant. Okay, so this is behind the scenes. So I do your show. It's great. We hang out afterwards. It was so fun. You guys were so, so nice to me.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  You're a great storyteller.

• 59:18Dax Shepard?

  Battle of me getting called a snowflake. None of that happened. So then we walk off of your show and we're just hanging for a minute. And then I go, man, you really lost Kristen. I had Kristen on board. She was on the Andrew Scholes fucking train. And then this joke about abortion, you lost her.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, it wasn't a good joke. It really wasn't a good joke.

• 59:38Dax Shepard?

  You can't lose Kristen.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  It was like a mathematical equation.

• 59:41Dax Shepard?

  It just didn't feel good when they heard it.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  It didn't have the silly. Of a joke.

• 59:45Dax Shepard?

  And it smelled like slut shaming a little bit.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting. I could see that. I didn't mean it.

• 59:50Dax Shepard?

  I don't think you did.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  That's something I'm learning. It's not worth explaining what you meant. Cause what you said hurt people. I'm learning that with my wife. I can acknowledge that what I said hurt your feelings. If you later want to understand where I'm coming from, I'll give you that. But you don't want me to explain away your feelings right now.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  You just want me to acknowledge that something I said made you feel bad.

• 1:00:11Dax Shepard?

  I did it to my daughter this morning. I've been feeling terrible ever since.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  What happened?

• 1:00:14Dax Shepard?

  Well, I woke her up. If she ends up being late and rushed, it's a full meltdown. We can't get her to school at that point. It's just so much. So I gotta get her up on time. Go to get her up on time. She's turning into a teenager. She turns 12 this month. And so I'm like, let's go, baby. And she's like, no. She slammed the door and I opened it back up. I go, you gotta get up. She's slamming it again. I opened, I'm leaving this door open. The light's gonna get you, you know? And then she later sent me an email from school saying, I'm so sorry. I was so mean. And I'm like, oh my God, don't worry. I love you, baby. I'm sorry. I was so abrupt and blah, blah, blah. I hope you know, I'm just trying to prevent you from having a really rough morning. Sent it and all day I'm like, to say sorry?

• 1:00:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't need to explain.

• 1:00:54Dax Shepard?

  I didn't need to say, I'm trying to prevent.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  But we want to be heroes. We want to be a good guy.

• 1:00:58Dax Shepard?

  Ever think I have a bad intention?

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  That dude, this is.

• 1:01:02Dax Shepard?

  Your life?

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, I do something that might prick you. My intention is not to prick you. I'm concerned that you're gonna think I'm the type of person that wants to hurt you.

• 1:01:13Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  Or prick you, like with your daughter. And you're just like, I just need you to know that I just love you and I want to protect you. I don't want to care for you. And now we're explaining instead of just acknowledging the feelings because you know what? They know we love them.

• 1:01:25Dax Shepard?

  Thank you. That's the lesson for me.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  We gotta have more confidence. And we have this insecurity, like every moment could change the way someone feels about us.

• 1:01:32Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  You mean in personal relationships?

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And what I mean hurt, I don't mean saying something really mean. I mean, it could be looking at my phone when my wife's saying something really important.

• 1:01:41Dax Shepard?

  You're checking scores.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  Exactly. I'm like, check it out. And instead of being, well, what I was actually doing is work so I could provide for our family or some stupid shit. She don't want to know about that. Pay attention when she's talking or say, hey, I gotta finish this thing, but I really want to hear.

• 1:01:54Dax Shepard?

  Anyways, I've understood all your scrapes and I've understood where you're coming from. And I understand you've accepted, yes, some people are gonna be upset and I get all that.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  Should we say the thing that rubbed Kristen the wrong way?

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, now I want it.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  It's not that bad. That's the reason why.

• 1:02:08Dax Shepard?

  I think it's gonna go backwards.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 1:02:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Well, people are gonna look for it anyway.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, it'll be funny, but it's not funny, but it's funny. The idea was like, how many abortions is too many?

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  In the world?

• 1:02:19Speaker 02

  No, like for a person.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  Like how many on the punch card? If it goes to like 20, I think that there has to be an intervention where it's like, alright, we gotta do something here. Now, the idea is like the beginning of a joke. Making it silly is a joke.

• 1:02:36Dax Shepard?

  I don't think you anticipated what Kristen heard.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  What was that?

• 1:02:40Dax Shepard?

  Where's the guy in this scenario? So you're pissed about the girl.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  Do we start?

• 1:02:44Dax Shepard?

  Who's had 20, well, guess what? 20 motherfuckers knocked her up and they're not paying any price for it and they're not getting shamed and we don't have to punch their card or do anything for them. Dudes are getting off scot-free.

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  I would argue in that scenario, it's not equivalent because it's 20 different dudes. But if it was the same dude.

• 1:02:59Dax Shepard?

  Presumably, see, that's where I think you could have landed this whole thing.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  Yes, yes. If one guy gets 20 girls pregnant, neuter that motherfucker. Like, we gotta do something.

• 1:03:07Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  But this is the artistry of a joke and I gave you like the lump of clay. And it's like, there might be something in there.

• 1:03:15Dax Shepard?

  You didn't remove all the pieces to make it David. It still is a piece of marble.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly. There's the perfect example of when there's a negative reaction, it's not like, these people are fucking idiots. I even commented in it, oh, it turns out that they're not getting these late-term abort. Like, I even have this caveat that I put in it later after I found the information, but it doesn't matter, people don't look at that. But that's the example of, I don't ever go snowflake. The joke wasn't nuanced and sliced thin enough that even the most pro-choice person in the entire world who's like, yes, 20 abortions a girl should have, 40 abortions, would still laugh at.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Comedy's math and it's just figuring out the equation. But it's funny because you're like, you can't offend Kristen, that's the one thing. I mean, everyone has that. Everyone has their one thing that's like, well, now you lost me.

• 1:04:00Dax Shepard?

  She's actually a pretty good barometer for me. Why I say. Her in particular, I find her to be someone who is incredibly progressive and left and has not let it affect her sense of humor.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  She's my favorite person on earth, but I have to say it. She's the most beautiful, white, privileged person. She's all those things too. So she has the luxury to be able to laugh at fucking anything without being like, oh yeah, I remember when that was me.

• 1:04:26Dax Shepard?

  Isn't it great?

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  Not for me.

• 1:04:29Dax Shepard?

  A white woman.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  I hate it.

• 1:04:31Dax Shepard?

  A white woman's Instagram. She's also really great at laughing at when she's getting burned. Like she gets burned a lot and she does very well with it.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  That's confidence.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  She doesn't like it when she personally gets burned and that's the difference and it's fair. No one likes getting personally burned. But when you are in a group that's small, they feel more personal than the overall, I just gotta say it.

• 1:04:54Dax Shepard?

  She loves getting blasted by Bateman. She loves getting blasted by Ryan. She did not like getting blasted by me. That's definitely true.

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  Fair enough.

• 1:04:59Dax Shepard?

  But all this to say, I have seen the decisions you've made and they've all pretty much made sense to me and I've not been scared for you. The first time I got scared for you, truly I like, did I call him? Was Kendrick Lamar.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:13Dax Shepard?

  So just tell people what happened.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  So he put out an album and he had a line in it. He was like, don't ever let no white comedian talk about no black woman as law.

• 1:05:22Dax Shepard?

  First of all, how do you know that's about you?

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  I got confirmation, put it that way. I didn't respond for weeks.

• 1:05:28Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  I had to shoot my special. I didn't really care. That wasn't even the thing that bothered me about the line. The next line is, and to the N words that coon and the N words that being groomed, slide on both of them. Do you guys know what that term slide means?

• 1:05:41Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  So slide is like assault or kill. I'm thinking and the world is thinking he's talking about Charlamagne and Alex Media, the two black dudes that are on the show.

• 1:05:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  So once you tell people to kill my friends. You get whatever I give you. Everybody's like, oh, he's such a victim and all this. He just said whatever. Yeah, he said a stupid thing to me. You're not gonna tell me who I can or can't make fun of. But you don't tell your fans to kill two of my friends. Or slide or assault or whatever it is, even if it's not serious. You're putting that energy out there, so don't be surprised if you get some energy back.

• 1:06:16Dax Shepard?

  Some heat.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  That's my feeling.

• 1:06:17Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so I watch your response. What's really funny is I have actually a friend reach out that go like, oh my God, have you seen this? So it comes to me in his version of telephone where he explains what you did. I'm like, oh, boy.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  What's his version? This is so funny how this works.

• 1:06:31Dax Shepard?

  I think he just read the reviews of what you did.

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  They made it racism.

• 1:06:35Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, this term.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  Buck breaking?

• 1:06:37Dax Shepard?

  Yes, buck breaking. And I'm like, he said buck breaking? So I now gotta go find this thing. So I go to your Instagram and I find it and I go, okay, A does not say buck breaking. It's pretty silly.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  I said, I'll make sweet love to him.

• 1:06:48Dax Shepard?

  Right. If they were in prison together, he would make sweet love.

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  The point I'm trying to make is like, why are you talking shit? Don't tell your fans to kill my friends. Like, I think that's a pretty fair response.

• 1:06:57Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  Hey, you say to your fans, and kill my friends. I say, I'll make sweet love to you.

• 1:07:03Dax Shepard?

  I saw it is about as playful as a fuck you, I'll kick your asses could be done.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  That's all it's trying to be, yeah.

• 1:07:09Dax Shepard?

  But now I'm really worried about you because I'm like, well, he thinks that he's a rational person. Kendrick is a national treasure.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  Huge.

• 1:07:15Dax Shepard?

  He's a Pulitzer Prize winner.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  Incredibly talented.

• 1:07:18Dax Shepard?

  Couldn't be more talented or loved. And I'm going, bro, is this the fight you're gonna pick? We gotta pick our battles. Is this the one? You were fine.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  More of that. Don't talk about my friends, bro. My friends are more important to me than strangers, so it is what it is.

• 1:07:33Dax Shepard?

  Do you worry at all?

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's definitely concern because he's got some affiliation to some like real dudes.

• 1:07:38Dax Shepard?

  Of course. Minimally some real dudes love him.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:42Dax Shepard?

  Even if he's not affiliated, they could think they were doing a favor to someone they love.

• 1:07:46Speaker 02

  And that's how it works.

• 1:07:47Dax Shepard?

  He doesn't want you to get hurt.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Exactly. He doesn't say to the person, go do something. The way it works is the young dudes on the street do something hoping that'll curry favor with the OGs. And then I heard whispers from a lot of different people and that kind of stuff, which sucks. You don't ever want that.

• 1:08:02Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  Any of the people who actually listen to it, my black friend. Friends who were getting death threats after the song came out, before I ever said anything. They were like, oh yeah, this is fun. We're gonna have some fun.

• 1:08:10Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so that was one hot one. Now I want to bring up a love connection.

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  Ooh, go.

• 1:08:14Dax Shepard?

  I've been trying to get Monica to love you for a while now. Couple of years, would you say?

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  That's not even true.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  We're gonna win.

• 1:08:20Dax Shepard?

  Don't you feel like I'm always kinda like trying to pitch and or?

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  The first time I heard of you, Dak sent me a thing and I was like, oh my God, this is so great. And then I was like, oh, I'm gonna keep looking. And you were like, well, be careful what you do. Be careful, I might need to curate. I might need to curate for you.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  If you just look at my stand up, usually you're good.

• 1:08:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:41Speaker 02

  The second you start looking at podcasts.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  So I did that this morning. I was like, oh my God.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  Because the podcasts are clay and the stand up is the statue. And that's something that we gotta grapple with just as comedians.

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  We're talking for two hours. We're gonna say some fucked up shit.

• 1:08:56Dax Shepard?

  But let's get to the love affair. So one of my favorite things, I saw your rant on Taylor Swift and I couldn't send it to Monica fast enough.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  I love her.

• 1:09:02Dax Shepard?

  As I was watching it, I think I interrupted it to send it to her.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Oh, she's the Michael Jackson of our time?

• 1:09:06Dax Shepard?

  You were screaming.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  No features.

• 1:09:08Dax Shepard?

  No features. I think you were arguing whether Beyonce.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  People are upset about that.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  I'm sure.

• 1:09:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're right. Followers were probably.

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  No, no Beyonce fans. But I went to the show.

• 1:09:18Speaker 01

  I love Beyonce.

• 1:09:19Dax Shepard?

  I love her.

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  She's incredible.

• 1:09:20Dax Shepard?

  She's from another universe.

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, they both are. But like, I went to this Taylor show with my wife at SoFi. And I went in there going, what am I doing? It's a cool cultural moment. Obviously, I gotta check it. And I left there going, this is the highest version of live performance. The best visual guy is working. The best light guy is working. The best choreographer. It felt like I was watching the best of the best in each of their fields. And she's holding the attention of a hundred thousand people.

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  For three hours.

• 1:09:51Dax Shepard?

  An impossibly long time.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  I'm a celebrator. When I experience some shit, I can't not talk about it if it's fire. If I go to some hotel that's amazing, I'm telling everybody, I don't believe in gatekeeping. I didn't get to go to these fancy ass hotels as a kid. So if I'm going to like Amangiri, I'm not sharing that with you once I'm like, look at my experience. I'm going, yo.

• 1:10:09Dax Shepard?

  Figure out how to get here.

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  Get some money and go here. This is incredible. These rich people are on to something.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  And we need to infiltrate.

• 1:10:18Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:10:24Dax Shepard?

  We get support from ZipRecruiter. Oh, get recruiting. So I went down this rabbit hole the other day on real holiday jobs that exist and I couldn't stop. Somebody out there is hiring a ham glazer, a professional ham glazer. Another place is hiring a lead elf, implying a whole hierarchy of elves I had never even considered. Here's the thing, these jobs need real skills. People like that are hard to find. And whether you're hiring for one of these roles or any other role, the best way to find qualified people who are genuinely excited about your role is on ZipRecruiter. And right now, you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/dax. Plus, ZipRecruiter has a new feature that shows

• 1:11:06Dax Shepard?

  you the most interested qualified candidates first, so you meet the right people faster. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Let ZipRecruiter find the right people for your roles, seasonal or otherwise. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/dax. That's ziprecruiter.com/dax. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

• 1:11:32Dax Shepard?

  We get support by Peloton. You know that feeling when you're spiraling over a problem and you just can't figure it out? When that happens to me, I need a change of pace. And I've found that running is the best way. It takes my brain out of the driver's seat and I come back with a fresh perspective. Running can be freeing and cathartic, and Peloton helps you feel all of that. And now that feeling fits wherever you need it with the new Peloton Tread Flex. It's movable and foldable, designed to fit your life. So next time you feel stuck, you can go for a run literally anywhere, whether that's in your office, living room, or even the attic. Plus, they have classes with expert instructors and programs to meet you at any level and keep you moving. Let yourself run. Explore

• 1:12:16Dax Shepard?

  the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com. We get support from No Bull. The holidays can get hectic. You finally hit a post summer routine and suddenly you're on hosting duty every week.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  That's when you really need to ground yourself.

• 1:12:33Dax Shepard?

  Exactly, and that's why I keep my training routine through the holidays. It's the whole NoBull idea. There's a no bullshit training brand built around consistency, honesty, and just putting in the work. It's not about adding more pressure to an already packed schedule. It's about having the gear and the habits to move through the season your way. My personal favorite, all three of the shoes are fantastic. The Outwork, the Outwork Flex, and the Drive 2. I like the Drive 2 because it's a hybrid. And I lift, of course, but I also like to do what's called box jumps. Right? I do a lot of jumping onto a little platform and I want a little more flexibility. And boy, do they deliver.

• 1:13:10Speaker 01

  And if you're a cardio person and you're running and you also need to be lifting.

• 1:13:14Dax Shepard?

  And the style is banging. I don't know what to say. Beautiful style, very breathable, very, very comfortable, lots of support. They were built for lifting.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  They also make a great holiday gift. You know, I love gifting, a purposeful one that actually supports someone's goals and routines. And it's not a gift that just ends up in the back of the closet.

• 1:13:31Dax Shepard?

  Stay stronger than the season. Head to nobolproject.com all holiday season to shop new deals every week.

• 1:13:40Speaker 05

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• 1:14:18Speaker 02

  So when I saw that Taylor thing, and then it's always fun to just rile up on Brilliant Idiots. There's that part of me, it's like a little antagonistic. I know Taylor, who's on the show. She's not the biggest Taylor Swift fan. The girl Taylor is on Brilliant Idiots. So I knew just saying how amazing.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  It would rile her up, yeah. Oh, it was so funny and we were dying laughing at that.

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  So shout out Taylor.

• 1:14:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay. Life, your new standup special.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:14:38Dax Shepard?

  It's your second one on Netflix?

• 1:14:40Speaker 02

  I did a rant show on Netflix. It was back during the pandemic, Show Says America. But that was a little different than standup. It was more like monologue version of it.

• 1:14:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so right out of the gates, I hadn't noticed this prior to this, but you know, I've been in bed with Kutcher for 22 years. He gave me my start.

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:58Dax Shepard?

  You and Ashton have an extremely similar vibe. Do people ever tell you you look like him?

• 1:15:04Speaker 02

  Okay, here's the Kutcher story. I have two Kutcher stories.

• 1:15:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, great.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  So when I was younger, I used to get that a lot. I was studying abroad in Spain during college. I was in Barcelona and Dove, who's sitting right there, is my first friend in college, is also currently my manager and partner now. Everybody's just part of the team. Literally the guy who does all our advertisements is my first friend in high school. The whole team is just the boys.

• 1:15:24Dax Shepard?

  You could probably be three times bigger as a business.

• 1:15:27Speaker 02

  Way bigger, but like so much less fun. Okay. He's studying abroad in Paris. We go to visit him in Paris. And then the nightclubs in Paris, I guess he explains to me, there's like an old woman at the front door and she decides who gets in. Maybe it's not like that anymore, but at the time that was pretty much the case. And Dove can talk to anybody. Yesterday, the guy who directed Dune, Denis Villeneuve, but the way that he talks to people, they think they know him.

• 1:15:49Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful.

• 1:15:50Speaker 02

  So the guy's walking by the table and then Dove goes, ah, bonjour, bonjour, whatever. And then he stops, walks over, he's like, oh, bonjour, how are you? They've never met. Dove is almost like doing the Rickles thing where he's like, I'm having dinner.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Were you guys at Sunset Tower?

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  Yes. Were you there last night?

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  I wasn't, but one of my best friends was and she was like, I think I saw him there last night.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Yes, 100%.

• 1:16:11Dax Shepard?

  Sightings.

• 1:16:12Speaker 02

  So we got some directors. We like directors, okay? Anyway, we go up to this club and he goes, hey, Andrew, I just need you to just go over here. Trust me, everything's gonna be fine. He goes, talks to the owner, they look at us and we go in. We're walking around and the owner is like staying with me and like really talking to me a lot. What's going on? What's your next project? And I go, I don't know, just hanging out in Barcelona for a little bit. This motherfucker told the owner that I was Ashton Kutcher. And we got like 10 people into this hot Paris nightclub. And then this asshole leaves me with the owner without telling me. So the owner thinks Ashton is studying abroad in Barcelona for the semester.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  So yeah, there was maybe some similarity.

• 1:16:51Dax Shepard?

  You guys might be identical heights too.

• 1:16:53Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 1:16:53Dax Shepard?

  Very handsome. Okay, the show's wonderful. And as we already laid out a tiny bit, this special is solely about getting pregnant, having a baby. How do you approach that?

• 1:17:03Speaker 02

  So I've never told stories and I've never been personal. I didn't think my life was very interesting. And then it was really difficult for us to get pregnant. It was the only thing I could think about. Like I couldn't think about any political, none of it really mattered. Started talking about it on stage. The initial part was we weren't getting pregnant and I felt kind of misled. Maybe it's hard to get pregnant. Like my whole life I've been trying to not get women pregnant. What the hell's going on? As it progressed, my wife got more and more concerned about it being her fault. I have a joke in there. I don't want to like repeat the joke, but it's like, I also thought it was her fault. Cause I didn't even know it could be our fault.

• 1:17:30Dax Shepard?

  And I'm with you, Chris and I, when we decided to have a baby, she said, do you want to get your sperm count checked? And I go, why would I do that? I'm not assuming I have a problem.

• 1:17:38Speaker 02

  Go look at the shower.

• 1:17:39Dax Shepard?

  How many times did you fuck without a rubber and you've never gotten anyone pregnant? And I was like, oh shit.

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  We don't even think about that. We think we're playing like Russian roulette and we're just the luckiest human being on the planet. So we went and got checked and then it turned out that her ovaries were perfect and that my sperm sucks.

• 1:17:55Dax Shepard?

  You were told specifically it's a C plus.

• 1:17:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, C plus. They were trying to be worn.

• 1:17:59Dax Shepard?

  You know it was a D. They upgraded.

• 1:18:02Speaker 02

  It was the plus that now I look back is so condescending. They're like, this will make him feel better. And it did.

• 1:18:12Speaker 02

  If you round them up, a solid B.

• 1:18:14Dax Shepard?

  Also, I have the same shitty sperm. I tried in UCLA to get, I read that I could make money donating sperm. Cause I was a student there and I went in and I did the jerk off thing. And then they called and they're like, your sperm counts are high enough.

• 1:18:24Speaker 02

  No fucking way. From taking tea or anything like that?

• 1:18:27Dax Shepard?

  No, this is when I was like 21 years old. They want you to have a big sperm count at the bank.

• 1:18:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're so prejudiced.

• 1:18:33Dax Shepard?

  I was probably a C.

• 1:18:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, we don't talk about that enough, huh?

• 1:18:36Dax Shepard?

  No, I know. They don't, they don't value you if you have an excessive amount of sperm.

• 1:18:42Speaker 02

  So, once I found out it was me, this emotionally takes a big turn. And I also feel a lot more comfortable talking about it on stage.

• 1:18:50Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that makes sense.

• 1:18:52Speaker 02

  I think one of the big issues for couples that are struggling to get pregnant is the isolation in it. Because you don't know who the issue is. And it's so painful for the woman especially, because most of them think it's them. No guy ever thinks it's them.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:05Speaker 02

  Even when he told me it was me, I was like, I'll just put your legs up or something. You know, like, I was like, what do we need here? It's gravity. And then I would start talking about it on stage. There would be these guys that would come up to me after shows. And they'd be like, hey, man, I really liked that. That was pretty funny. And I was like, cool, thanks, man. He goes, yeah, no, you should keep talking about that. That was good stuff. And that was like their way of going, hey. I feel less alone now.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  I needed that.

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  I didn't know that people were struggling to get pregnant. I didn't know how many women were freezing their eggs. I didn't know that this existed because it's so taboo and to a lot of people so embarrassing that they isolate. They don't share at all. And they feel deficient. Their friends are all having the babies. They don't know that their friends are also doing IVF.

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, right, right, right. What I learned through this, and maybe one of the most rewarding parts of it is when I was doing the tour, I'd start getting all these DMs. And to this day, like I screenshot all of them. Because I didn't market the show as this. They think they're getting crazy stand up that I've been doing normally. They're gonna get the Latina accent. Exactly. Yeah. They come for the Latina. They come for that shit. There we go. IVF. Basically, what happens is they go, oh, my God, I was actually going through this. It was really nice to see us laugh about it because it's been this really dark thing. And then I get a message months later with a picture of their baby. And then certain people who are going through stuff and they had trouble and maybe they saw it. And now they're like, yo, we want to try IVF because of the show. I did not expect it. I did not write it for that reason. It was the only thing on my mind. But the idea that it could de-stigmatize this thing and removing that stigma could give people the greatest thing they'll ever experience in their life, which is having a kid.

• 1:20:29Speaker 02

  By far, there's nothing even comes close. It was really cool. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's really special to get to receive that, I think. Yeah.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  So you did an amazing promo with my boyfriend, the love of my life.

• 1:20:40Speaker 02

  A legend. Taylor plus Matt.

• 1:20:42Speaker 01

  I mean, I did think, I was like, Matt likes Andrew.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  I'm qualified.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  I guess. Anyway, you did lean in for that promo and I was like, oh, wow. This is really great. And I do think a lot of people who might not follow you or know your stuff or think something about you will be drawn to it because of that. But then I was like, man, I wish you would do more of that because I think his audience is limitless.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  But we do think of you in a very certain package. Yeah, exactly.

• 1:21:13Dax Shepard?

  I think that can be misleading for all humans, which is you have such a sharp skill set that really anything you bring that talent to bear on is going to yield results.

• 1:21:23Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 1:21:23Dax Shepard?

  And it could mislead everyone. We had Robert Sapolsky on.

• 1:21:26Speaker 01

  Evolutionary biologist.

• 1:21:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's the smartest person alive, probably. And he's a determinist. And I'm like, great, you've made a great argument, but can you acknowledge you could have turned that same brain on free will and made just as convincing of an argument? It's just like, where do you want to focus this hyper talent? Let me ask you if this observation rings true for you.

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:21:45Dax Shepard?

  In the last eight years, we've watched so many people become famous in the podcast space, whether it's Huberman or name the number of people. And I'm not using Huberman as an example in this, but I've watched many of these people get led by their audience. Instead of them leading their audience, their audience will take them in a fucking rabbit hole. I've seen like eight people taking themselves out. Where they started here and they literally went in the rabbit hole because they just were responding to the most vitriolic response. Do you see that?

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  I see that a lot. I think it's a really astute observation. A lot of people don't realize how much the algorithm really dictates your content. And this is why, when I was saying earlier, like I try to block out everything when I'm in creator mode, even the algorithm will put out episodes. I know how to make every episode go crazy, but then you're a grifter. It's important to me to put out episodes, talk about the things we want to talk about with the people we're interested in. And you would hope that your core fans will maybe share some appreciation of the people, but I understand that it's going to alienate some. And I think what happens a lot of times for people in our position is once you get some success, with success, there's always scrutiny. That's the cost of success. Criticism is the cost. We have to pay it. But.

• 1:22:54Speaker 02

  When you feel immense scrutiny, it is very easy to retreat towards protection. And protection is usually one ideology. If you're just the right guy, the right got your back as long as you say all those things. If you're just the left guy, the left got your back as long as you say those things. Vacillating between the two is gonna piss both of them off.

• 1:23:14Dax Shepard?

  I feel like this is the road I've struck down unfortunately.

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  No, but that's how you maintain your authenticity. And then the people that actually know you appreciate you as a person and not just a mouthpiece for one ideology, which I don't wanna be, I just wanna be me.

• 1:23:27Dax Shepard?

  And I'll say this too about who I think is so fucking funny. Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis.

• 1:23:31Speaker 02

  Shane is great, man.

• 1:23:32Dax Shepard?

  He's unbelievably good. That's the unfortunate thing of our current society is you're watching things trying to pin them to a camp the whole time. It's like, whoa, where are they? Are they liberal or are they conservative? And what's fun about Shane is it's a hardcore conservative position. It's a hardcore left position. It's bouncing back and forth and I personally love and cherish that. And you're bouncing back and forth in this special. You definitely have some moments, I think.

• 1:23:56Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 1:23:57Dax Shepard?

  This isn't funny, this is just another observation. So we went through the same thing. You're there, you're in labor forever. All of a sudden people rush in, the heart rate has crashed and now you're having this emergency thing.

• 1:24:05Speaker 02

  Oh, did Kristen have C-sections?

• 1:24:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:08Speaker 02

  How scary is that shit?

• 1:24:09Dax Shepard?

  It is. Did you have this moment? This is so dark to say and I would never make this decision now. But on the ride with her in a gurney and me walking next down the hallway and 15 doctors all in a panic, I literally said, just keep Kristen alive. I don't give a fuck. Like, I was so excited to have this baby. But my God, is my wife in danger right now?

• 1:24:29Speaker 02

  Yep, 100%.

• 1:24:30Dax Shepard?

  I was just like, please keep her alive. And now I'd be like, take her. I'm gonna keep Lincoln and Delta.

• 1:24:36Speaker 02

  You know what's funny is that Kristen would probably give her life 100 times over for that thing.

• 1:24:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she'd have me killed a thousand times to save him a broken arm and I want her to. Yeah, that's funny. That's how it should be.

• 1:24:46Speaker 02

  Take him. But yeah, it's terrifying. I think birth is one of these opportunities where you get to see someone put 100% effort. It's very rare in life. You get to see 100% effort. You get to see your partner do that and it's pretty awesome because we think we work hard. We're like, oh, I worked 12 days and then you get to see your partner really fucking light it up. And Emma lost a lot of blood and this is like really beautiful. The baby latched and they told her, they're like, hey, listen, I know you're exhausted and you had lost a lot of blood. It would be really helpful for the baby if you can feed. I remember she stayed up, she fed the baby, the baby pulled off, they took the baby and she's like, is she okay? Is she full? And they're like, yeah, she's full. She's fine. And she goes, okay. And then she just fell asleep.

• 1:25:28Dax Shepard?

  Died.

• 1:25:29Speaker 02

  But it was just like, she gave

• 1:25:31Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:25:31Speaker 02

  everything.

• 1:25:32Dax Shepard?

  Doesn't it make you admire her?

• 1:25:33Speaker 02

  Fuck yeah.

• 1:25:34Dax Shepard?

  And you go, oh, this new thing I care so much about hit the jackpot with this.

• 1:25:38Speaker 02

  With a mom. Yeah.

• 1:25:40Dax Shepard?

  You're just so like, full of gratitude on the baby's behalf.

• 1:25:43Speaker 02

  And there's also a moment where you're like, if you ever fucking talk back to your mom.

• 1:25:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, right?

• 1:25:47Speaker 02

  I hope you talk back to your mom. I hope you do that shit in front of me. I hope you give her some attitude in front of you.

• 1:25:53Dax Shepard?

  That's what I say to Monica all the time. Like my dream in life is someone shoves her. It would be worth her getting shoved and falling down just so I could react.

• 1:26:01Speaker 02

  That's funny. That's what you're hoping when you're walking. That's funny.

• 1:26:05Dax Shepard?

  Even you coming today, I'm like, I want to be bros with you for life, to be honest. But if it goes down, it's going down and that's how it's gotta be.

• 1:26:11Speaker 06

  Sorry, it really didn't go down.

• 1:26:13Speaker 02

  I knew it would go, I knew it was gonna go crazy.

• 1:26:16Dax Shepard?

  I did too.

• 1:26:17Speaker 02

  It is good to enter thinking that. I try to have people with different opinions on my podcast, but maybe it's important for me to go on others as well because then their audience is like, my audience knows that my thinking is diverse, but the other audience might not. So coming on a place like here, maybe you get a well-rounded version.

• 1:26:35Dax Shepard?

  That's been my thing recently is like, I don't need to go on another liberal podcast. What I need to do is go on Two Bears and go on ideally Rogan and go, you can also be a masculine dude and cares a lot about people and wants to help them. You can do all those things. You're not a pussy if you care. I adore you.

• 1:26:52Speaker 02

  I love you guys. Thank you so much.

• 1:26:53Dax Shepard?

  I'm so glad this happened. This was a party.

• 1:26:55Speaker 02

  I really appreciate you guys doing this.

• 1:26:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh my God, yeah. All right. Everybody watch Life. It's fantastic. It's on now on Netflix. You have it. Watch it. Also listen to The Brilliant Idiots and Flagrant.

• 1:27:05Speaker 02

  Go listen to Dax's episode of Flagrant if you haven't already. It's awesome.

• 1:27:08Dax Shepard?

  It was very fun. You guys are so sweet.

• 1:27:10Speaker 02

  Thanks. Thank you so much.

• 1:27:12Speaker 06

  He is an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts.

• 1:27:21Dax Shepard?

  I'm working late, cuz I'm a singer.

• 1:27:26Speaker 01

  It's a good song.

• 1:27:27Dax Shepard?

  I think that's the cutest lyric I've ever heard.

• 1:27:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a good one.

• 1:27:31Dax Shepard?

  I'm working late, cuz I'm a singer.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  She's very cheeky.

• 1:27:36Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, I'm so late to the party, but now I'm an enormous Sabrina Carpenter fan. It started with Bedcam.

• 1:27:42Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:27:43Dax Shepard?

  Do you know that song?

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  Is it on the new out? Is it recently?

• 1:27:46Dax Shepard?

  I'll play you one teast of it before we get flagged for copyright infringement. But let me see if I can give you a teast of it.

• 1:27:53Speaker 01

  Let's hear it.

• 1:27:57Speaker 01

  I don't know this one, I don't think.

• 1:27:59Dax Shepard?

  I was driving with Delta to school today and we listen to it every morning. And I said, you know, the sign of a really, you know, when a song's a fucking jam. A lot of times you're driving in cars and the song's good and it's a dancy track. And you're like, maybe clicking your fingers and maybe you're dancing a little bit. But if a song hits, you can't resist dancing with your shoulders. I was telling her that's what you look for.

• 1:28:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:28:21Dax Shepard?

  And so we were both in the car fucking.

• 1:28:25Dax Shepard?

  We were really getting our shoulders active this morning. It was a blast.

• 1:28:29Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:28:29Dax Shepard?

  It's really fun now that I love her favorite artist.

• 1:28:33Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:28:33Dax Shepard?

  It's fun for her.

• 1:28:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:28:35Dax Shepard?

  Because now I'm on the Sabrina train.

• 1:28:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:37Dax Shepard?

  And I'm like, what about this one? She's like, have you listened to Juno? And then I'm like, okay, I listened to Juno. It was a little slower. She, I was worried it was gonna be a little too slow for you. So we're really like.

• 1:28:46Speaker 01

  Okay, I like that.

• 1:28:49Dax Shepard?

  It's very fun.

• 1:28:50Speaker 01

  There's, you know, she gets sexy, Sabrina.

• 1:28:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, she is.

• 1:28:53Speaker 01

  There's some real sexual stuff.

• 1:28:56Dax Shepard?

  In fact.

• 1:28:57Speaker 01

  Juno is sexual.

• 1:28:58Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's, I'm so glad you brought this up. I would have forgotten to say this. So we're laying in bed last night. We're talking about Juno and, you know, I'm like, I don't want to tell her it wasn't my favorite cuz it's her favorite and, but I am not gonna lie to her. All right, so here we are. So we're working through it. She's like, yeah, I understand. It's a little more of this than, and she goes, but do you know what Juno is? And I go, no. And she's like, well, it's a movie. Like, oh, the movie Juno? Yes, I know. She goes, yeah. She said, I want you to make me Juno cuz it's a story about a girl who gets pregnant. And I go, yeah, I go, ooh, that's a little, um, that's a little nasty.

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  All right, see.

• 1:29:38Dax Shepard?

  And she goes, what's nasty about wanting to have a baby with somebody? And I go, well, it's a teenager. She's in high school. And she goes, oh, she's in high school. So she, she knew part of the Junos story. She didn't know she was in high school.

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  It was romantic.

• 1:29:54Dax Shepard?

  Yes. And the way she's phrased, it was like, wait, what's nasty about wanting to have a baby with someone you love? And I was like, oh no, there's nothing nasty about that. I'm just saying, I want to get pregnant in high school is kind of a nasty fun lyric.

• 1:30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:08Dax Shepard?

  Nasty and it is a positive nasty, I'm saying.

• 1:30:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:30:12Dax Shepard?

  I brought a list today.

• 1:30:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:30:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Do you want to tell me something you want to talk about before I get to the next thing I want to talk about?

• 1:30:17Speaker 01

  Um, yes. So I have a, I had another ear, ear situation.

• 1:30:24Dax Shepard?

  An ear infection?

• 1:30:25Speaker 01

  Not a full infection.

• 1:30:27Dax Shepard?

  Schwimmer's ear?

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  Not Schwimmer's ear.

• 1:30:30Dax Shepard?

  David Schwimmer's ear?

• 1:30:31Speaker 01

  I wish. Um, no, I, so I have three holes.

• 1:30:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:30:36Speaker 01

  And I, I don't really use the top one very much at all, but I found these earrings and, and it didn't look right in the second hole. So I moved them up to the third hole and I had to like, really like shove it in.

• 1:30:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Re, re, re-puncture it.

• 1:30:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I cleaned it. I did my best.

• 1:30:55Speaker 01

  And then it did start hurting pretty quickly, but I left it because it looked so cute.

• 1:30:59Dax Shepard?

  Some is very similar story to last time.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  Yes. And I left it and I left it. And then that night I took it out and it was like really hard to get out. Like I think it had swollen sort of around it. So I yanked it out and then I cleaned it all up.

• 1:31:14Dax Shepard?

  Fused to them.

• 1:31:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then I cleaned it up, but it was really painful and I couldn't like lay on, I couldn't lay, had to back sleep.

• 1:31:25Dax Shepard?

  Isn't it weird that your upper ears are very prone to infection?

• 1:31:29Speaker 01

  They're sensitive. Yeah. The higher you get on my ear, I think they just can't handle it.

• 1:31:36Dax Shepard?

  It's just very infection prone.

• 1:31:38Speaker 01

  Don't say it was such a gross face.

• 1:31:40Dax Shepard?

  Well, it is. It's very.

• 1:31:42Speaker 01

  It's not my fault.

• 1:31:43Dax Shepard?

  It's like a cess.

• 1:31:44Speaker 01

  I prefer to call it sensitive.

• 1:31:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay, it's sensitive.

• 1:31:48Speaker 01

  Anyway.

• 1:31:48Dax Shepard?

  Particularly sensitive to infection.

• 1:31:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:51Dax Shepard?

  Of its many sensitivities.

• 1:31:52Speaker 01

  And, yeah, it had like a big, like, you could feel the big, like, node in there.

• 1:31:58Dax Shepard?

  Big lump of infection.

• 1:31:59Speaker 01

  Don't make that face. Anyway, it's feeling a little bit back to normal, so.

• 1:32:05Dax Shepard?

  I'm glad you got it out of there, because that's, that's an improvement.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  The big question is, am I allowed to do it again?

• 1:32:11Dax Shepard?

  I think it's a wrap on your upper ears.

• 1:32:14Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:32:15Dax Shepard?

  I mean, repeat the same thing, expect a different result. It's like two for two.

• 1:32:19Speaker 01

  Or, but it's like, maybe it just needs a couple times before it can acclimate?

• 1:32:24Dax Shepard?

  I mean, it's your body, your decision, so, but I, I think we stay away from there.

• 1:32:30Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:32:30Dax Shepard?

  Bit me twice, shame on me. You're at the shame on me part. First time was shame on your ear.

• 1:32:36Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:32:36Dax Shepard?

  And now shame on you.

• 1:32:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, we'll see.

• 1:32:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Now, this one I flagged, I did flag it with you in mind. I thought this would interest you, even if the topic doesn't, because of where the money comes from.

• 1:32:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:32:51Dax Shepard?

  I read this headline.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:32:53Dax Shepard?

  Yesterday or the day before. Unmarried Hermes heir, that's hard to say.

• 1:32:59Speaker 01

  I know this story.

• 1:33:01Dax Shepard?

  Leaving $11 billion to former gardener.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  I know. He's gonna adopt the gardener.

• 1:33:10Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 1:33:10Speaker 01

  So that he can pass it on.

• 1:33:13Dax Shepard?

  This, there'll have to be a movie about this, right?

• 1:33:16Speaker 01

  Of course, of course.

• 1:33:17Dax Shepard?

  It's not like he got left a million dollars. Like, you got left, you're in the top 200 richest people in the world kind of money.

• 1:33:26Speaker 01

  It's so sweet.

• 1:33:28Dax Shepard?

  Although there is some little bit of it having to do with he doesn't want the control of his portion to go to certain people.

• 1:33:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's also a strategic move, but an extremely generous strategic move.

• 1:33:41Dax Shepard?

  And if I'm the gardener, I don't really give a shit what your motivation is. You give me that $11 billion.

• 1:33:46Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:33:47Dax Shepard?

  A le- can you imagine waking up, one, you went to bed?

• 1:33:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:51Dax Shepard?

  You had like $3,000 in the bank?

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:54Dax Shepard?

  And the next morning, you have $11 billion.

• 1:33:56Speaker 01

  I mean, of course, like, the pessimistic version of this is that they.

• 1:34:04Speaker 01

  Were in love. I mean, that's a weird thing to say.

• 1:34:05Dax Shepard?

  It's like cynical.

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  I guess it's like they're in love. So, so that's why this is happening. But, but like the better story.

• 1:34:16Dax Shepard?

  Unrequited love.

• 1:34:17Speaker 01

  Maybe. Ooh, God. Okay. If someone was in love with me and I wasn't in love with them and I made that clear, but they could not stop.

• 1:34:27Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:34:27Speaker 01

  Pursu- pursuing.

• 1:34:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:30Speaker 01

  And then they died.

• 1:34:33Dax Shepard?

  And left you eleven billion dollars.

• 1:34:34Speaker 01

  Eleven billion dollars. Would I?

• 1:34:37Dax Shepard?

  Love them posthumously?

• 1:34:39Speaker 01

  No, would I feel like, I can't accept.

• 1:34:42Dax Shepard?

  No, because you had been honest.

• 1:34:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:45Dax Shepard?

  If you led them on and married them as they had gotten their cancer prognosis, yeah, you're pretty shady.

• 1:34:52Speaker 01

  Shitty, yeah. Okay, okay. But also, it's sad. It's like he just loved me so much.

• 1:35:02Dax Shepard?

  That even if you didn't like him, he still wanted you to be happy. That's true love. You should have loved him back.

• 1:35:08Speaker 01

  I know. I regret this. I really regret not loving him back.

• 1:35:14Dax Shepard?

  I want to know more about the gardener.

• 1:35:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:35:17Dax Shepard?

  And I want to know, because it's in Italy or something? Where are they?

• 1:35:20Speaker 01

  France, probably.

• 1:35:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, is that where Amazons? Okay, that makes more sense then. Okay, probably not Croatia.

• 1:35:26Speaker 01

  I mean, we don't know where they are. They're billionaires. They could be anywhere.

• 1:35:28Dax Shepard?

  Sky's the limit. Their money knows no bond. They could be living up in the sky in Elysium.

• 1:35:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:34Dax Shepard?

  He's older. I think the gardener is 50. Oh, Jesus. My age. Oh, yeah, I guess he could totally still, still enjoy it.

• 1:35:43Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:35:45Dax Shepard?

  And so I have such a disconnect when reading someone's 50. That does not sound like my age.

• 1:35:51Speaker 01

  Right. It doesn't sound, it doesn't sound like your age to me either.

• 1:35:55Dax Shepard?

  I think I'm just coming at terms is in the very second.

• 1:35:58Speaker 01

  Wow, yeah.

• 1:35:59Dax Shepard?

  That it's 50. It's really 50. It's not 40?

• 1:36:02Speaker 01

  But 50 is the new, like, it, it's the new 45. Like, I think of you.

• 1:36:11Dax Shepard?

  We can't do better than that?

• 1:36:12Speaker 01

  No, like, I'm being realistic. I think of you as 45.

• 1:36:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:36:17Speaker 01

  Kind of perpetually. Yeah.

• 1:36:19Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I'll try to live up to that. I'm certainly trying my hardest.

• 1:36:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think, I don't mean you look 45 or like, I mean,

• 1:36:28Dax Shepard?

  I definitely look 50, so you're

• 1:36:29Speaker 01

  No, God, what a trap. No, I'm just saying you'll live at that age for me forever.

• 1:36:37Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:36:38Speaker 01

  It's gonna be hard for me when I turn 45 because I'm gonna be like,

• 1:36:42Dax Shepard?

  When you turn 50 and you're five years older than me.

• 1:36:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's gonna get confusing.

• 1:36:48Dax Shepard?

  It's gonna get messy.

• 1:36:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay, we might have to update TBD when I turn 60, you might bump me up to 50.

• 1:36:54Speaker 01

  Okay, what is your age in your head currently?

• 1:36:58Dax Shepard?

  Forty.

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  Forty?

• 1:37:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:01Dax Shepard?

  I think I'm 40. Pretty sure I'm 40.

• 1:37:05Speaker 01

  You might want to go check and see if you're 40.

• 1:37:07Dax Shepard?

  50?

• 1:37:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:09Dax Shepard?

  That's a real number.

• 1:37:10Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:37:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, this is really just hitting me.

• 1:37:13Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:37:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because when I read the gardener was 50, I was like, holy, give a guy that's almost dead a blow. I wish he would have given it to him when he was 30.

• 1:37:22Speaker 01

  That's, you can't, no.

• 1:37:24Dax Shepard?

  But now I realize he's just my age. He's just a guy, he's a little boy my age.

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:37:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:32Dax Shepard?

  50.

• 1:37:35Speaker 01

  I feel like I'm 32.

• 1:37:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I can sign off on that.

• 1:37:41Speaker 01

  I feel 32.

• 1:37:42Dax Shepard?

  So we're both deducting five years.

• 1:37:44Speaker 01

  I guess, yeah. No, you're deducting 10.

• 1:37:47Dax Shepard?

  45? You said I was 45.

• 1:37:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you said you were 40.

• 1:37:51Dax Shepard?

  Forty. Oh, no, 45 is old, older than I am. Tell you this much.

• 1:37:57Speaker 01

  Oh, wait, let me look up the, the Hermes gardener.

• 1:38:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, whenever he's doing any press now that he's 11 billionaire. I hope he disperses some of the money to other people. Like, I hope this is a cascade of people getting called and going like, hey, guess what? You have $100 million. You guess what? You, because he could give 110 people $100 million.

• 1:38:16Speaker 01

  But I think part of it is now that guy will own a percentage of Hermes.

• 1:38:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so really, it's not cash, it's, it's value in the company.

• 1:38:26Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a good, okay. It says Nicholas. Puke?

• 1:38:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 1:38:32Speaker 01

  P E U C H.

• 1:38:33Dax Shepard?

  P U.

• 1:38:34Speaker 01

  P U. A fifth generation heir to the Hermes fortune reportedly plans to adopt his former gardener and handyman, a 51-year-old man from a modest Moroccan family, and bequeath him a substantial portion of his estimated $12 billion, $13 billion fortune. It says he's reclusive and childless, 80, he's 80. Um, he owns approximately 5.7% of Hermes shares.

• 1:39:04Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 1:39:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:39:06Dax Shepard?

  What if this guy's first line of work is to introduce a line of Hermes clothing for gardeners specifically, like, uh, patches in the knees?

• 1:39:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's actually cute. That would be cute.

• 1:39:17Dax Shepard?

  He could take this. He might be worth 30 billion after he implements.

• 1:39:22Speaker 01

  Puke has a strained relationship with his family.

• 1:39:25Dax Shepard?

  What's his first name?

• 1:39:26Speaker 01

  Puch has a strained relationship with his family and initially had plans to leave his fortune to the Isocrates Foundation, a charity he founded. However, he reportedly reversed those plans, possibly due to disagreements with his family, and is now in the process of arranging his estate to pass on his wealth to his former employee. Former, not even his current gardener.

• 1:39:46Dax Shepard?

  I know. It's his old gardener.

• 1:39:48Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:39:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:50Speaker 01

  God, these bags are nice.

• 1:39:52Dax Shepard?

  No one's gotten an interview with the gardener?

• 1:39:54Speaker 01

  What's the gardener's name? They haven't, I'm not seeing.

• 1:39:56Dax Shepard?

  That's probably best.

• 1:39:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, they'll kill.

• 1:39:59Dax Shepard?

  Well, just, like, it's not a good idea when people, I've watched some docs on lottery winners. There's a lot of fascinating stuff about lottery winners. One is they file bankruptcy at a really high rate, which is sad.

• 1:40:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:11Dax Shepard?

  But also the amount of people that come out of the woodwork.

• 1:40:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:40:14Dax Shepard?

  Looking for money. And I guess it kind of makes sense. Like, if you're asking for somebody for the money they earned, I think it's a different threshold than, like, hey, you found out your friend found $50 million in his backyard, which is basically what lottery, winning the lottery is.

• 1:40:29Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:40:30Dax Shepard?

  Well, he didn't, you know.

• 1:40:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:32Dax Shepard?

  Maybe he'd be easy. Easy come, easy go with it because he he just found it.

• 1:40:37Speaker 01

  And so you feel like if you someone passes it down, you feel more of a responsibility to that person, maybe?

• 1:40:44Dax Shepard?

  Well, I just think if they said his name out loud, people, everyone that knows him like, but you get given 11 billion dollars. Give me some.

• 1:40:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:40:52Dax Shepard?

  Whereas if he built some business for 40 years, they would be like, give me some of your business.

• 1:40:56Speaker 01

  It is really funny. People really feel like, like, give me some is a real.

• 1:41:03Dax Shepard?

  Give me some.

• 1:41:04Speaker 01

  It's like a real thought in a lot of people's heads.

• 1:41:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:08Speaker 01

  You have so much money and you should give me some for free.

• 1:41:12Dax Shepard?

  I certainly never felt that way. Like there was a period where, you know, my mom and my brother were partners and they both made a very good living in Michigan. When I was quite broke in California and I never felt like they should give me some money.

• 1:41:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:26Dax Shepard?

  But sometimes when we're with Bill Gates, I do think, why doesn't he just give me a billion dollars to be funny?

• 1:41:33Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 1:41:35Dax Shepard?

  Isn't that funny?

• 1:41:36Speaker 01

  I don't think it's that funny.

• 1:41:39Dax Shepard?

  It's fun for me.

• 1:41:40Speaker 01

  Fun for you.

• 1:41:41Dax Shepard?

  It's fun for me and funny for him.

• 1:41:43Speaker 01

  For anyone else.

• 1:41:45Dax Shepard?

  So I do think that when I'm around someone who's got like hundreds of billions of dollars, I do think, well, you could give me a dollar. That's basically you've got $200 and you give me a dollar for fun.

• 1:41:55Speaker 01

  It's true. Like obviously the more somebody has, the more like, it's like, yeah, Bill, maybe can you just give me a million actually? Like that's nothing for him. Can I just have a million?

• 1:42:06Dax Shepard?

  Just because it's funny. Cause you're like, oh my God, you know, the last time I saw Dax, I gave him 16 million dollars, just like out of nowhere. He wasn't even expecting it.

• 1:42:13Speaker 01

  This is my best joke. I gave.

• 1:42:15Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it's a great joke, Bill.

• 1:42:17Speaker 01

  But I guess that's how everyone feels.

• 1:42:20Dax Shepard?

  That's right.

• 1:42:21Speaker 01

  So yeah, if if anyone has a million dollars and they have $20,000, of course, they're gonna be like, give me 50,000 of your dollars, please.

• 1:42:32Dax Shepard?

  That's right. It's too much for you. Yeah.

• 1:42:35Speaker 01

  I guess I get it all.

• 1:42:36Dax Shepard?

  I get it.

• 1:42:37Speaker 01

  So everyone can say, give me some. I guess it's allowed.

• 1:42:40Dax Shepard?

  That's what you're.

• 1:42:43Speaker 01

  That we should put that on the news.

• 1:42:44Dax Shepard?

  Deputizing everyone in your life. Oh, on the topic of give me some.

• 1:42:47Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:42:47Dax Shepard?

  Which my tattoo artist has started saying, give me money to show your arm.

• 1:42:51Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:42:54Dax Shepard?

  I did sit for seven hours. And have everything, I think that we gotta put an end to that story because I didn't list the arm cherries.

• 1:43:04Speaker 01

  Close the gap. You want to know.

• 1:43:06Dax Shepard?

  Close the door.

• 1:43:07Speaker 01

  No, they call it.

• 1:43:08Dax Shepard?

  Close the loop.

• 1:43:09Speaker 01

  Close the loop.

• 1:43:10Dax Shepard?

  Right. So it happened. I sat for seven hours and this great guy, Marky, that is a tattoo artist in Illinois that Robbie knows.

• 1:43:20Speaker 01

  Yes, Rob.

• 1:43:21Dax Shepard?

  Wobb.

• 1:43:22Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:43:22Dax Shepard?

  I wonder if he likes Robbie. I say Robbie a lot.

• 1:43:24Speaker 01

  Well, Robbie's confusing for me because I have my own Robbie.

• 1:43:28Dax Shepard?

  Well, I do too a little bit. I have your Robbie.

• 1:43:30Speaker 01

  Exactly. So, so.

• 1:43:32Dax Shepard?

  The man who's giving everyone epilepsy.

• 1:43:34Speaker 01

  Wobb is so.

• 1:43:35Dax Shepard?

  Everyone epilepsy.

• 1:43:37Speaker 01

  But there's no other, there's other Robbies, but there's no other Wobbly Wobb.

• 1:43:41Dax Shepard?

  There is no other Wobbly Wobb. But it was his dude, wonderful guy. And yeah, everything has been altered enough that now I can be in a commercial in a short sleeve shirt.

• 1:43:53Speaker 01

  That's exciting.

• 1:43:54Dax Shepard?

  I'm very happy. I got my limb back.

• 1:43:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's exciting.

• 1:43:59Dax Shepard?

  And me and my best friend, Aaron Weekly, got matching J2C tattoos.

• 1:44:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:44:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:06Speaker 01

  Do you want to show to the camera?

• 1:44:08Dax Shepard?

  Can you see it? I can't really see it, which is a bummer.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  What do you mean? Well.

• 1:44:12Dax Shepard?

  Well, I would like to be able to see it.

• 1:44:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can't see it because you put it on your neck.

• 1:44:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, then I can't see the back of my neck.

• 1:44:17Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 1:44:17Dax Shepard?

  Because I just found out.

• 1:44:19Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:44:19Dax Shepard?

  I would have assumed I could see. I didn't realize I can't see the back of my neck.

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. So it's kind of behind your ear.

• 1:44:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And I move my ear in the mirror and that doesn't help me. So I don't really know. I'm not sure what it looks like, but.

• 1:44:30Speaker 01

  It looks great.

• 1:44:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay, it's there.

• 1:44:31Speaker 01

  It says J2C. Wait.

• 1:44:34Dax Shepard?

  If anyone needs reminding, January.

• 1:44:38Dax Shepard?

  Second Capricorn.

• 1:44:39Speaker 01

  Is yours black?

• 1:44:41Dax Shepard?

  Both of us are the same. The J and the C are blue and the two is red.

• 1:44:46Speaker 01

  I need to look closer.

• 1:44:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay, get a little closer with air it extra dry. And that's what I want. I want people to really get into my neck to look at this thing. Because I want to invite a vampire to bite me so that I can live forever. You ever want to live forever?

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Um, no. Well, not like that. I don't want to live like a vampire.

• 1:45:10Dax Shepard?

  So many people say they don't want to live forever. It's just very common. I think it's the most popular answer to that.

• 1:45:15Speaker 01

  Do you? I think the most popular answer is they do. But then once you start thinking about it, you think.

• 1:45:20Dax Shepard?

  No, everyone I talk to says no. They all go like, I don't want to live forever. But what I don't think is realistic about that is like, what day do they think they're gonna wake up and go like, yeah, I want to die today?

• 1:45:32Dax Shepard?

  So when you think about it that way, they wait one day at a time. I think one day at a time you would live forever. You're just not gonna wake up and be like, okay, yep, ride's over.

• 1:45:41Speaker 01

  Um, I, I think the old, the older you get, way older than 50, way older.

• 1:45:49Dax Shepard?

  250?

• 1:45:49Speaker 01

  You're unco- you get uncomfortable, like life starts.

• 1:45:52Dax Shepard?

  In this scenario where you can live to 250, I'm living as I am today. They've, they completely arrest my aging. Forty. Yeah, I'll be 40 for the next 210 years.

• 1:46:02Speaker 01

  I think you might get.

• 1:46:03Dax Shepard?

  Bored?

• 1:46:04Speaker 01

  Tired of this. I really do.

• 1:46:08Dax Shepard?

  I guess what I'm saying is you'd have to be suicidal one day. You'd have to wake up and go like, don't want to live anymore.

• 1:46:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:15Dax Shepard?

  Right? And I don't think people do that part of the equation. It's like, what day do you think you're gonna wake up and be suicidal?

• 1:46:22Speaker 01

  I don't think it would be the same as being suicidal in a real, regular life.

• 1:46:26Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:46:27Speaker 01

  Because you have such a limited amount of time in a regular life. And so to cut that short is obviously caused by.

• 1:46:34Dax Shepard?

  You have an expectation and it's.

• 1:46:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. But if you're, you've been on earth for 250 years.

• 1:46:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:42Speaker 01

  I don't know that I would say it's suicidal to say like. You know, I think I, I think I did it.

• 1:46:48Dax Shepard?

  I'm done.

• 1:46:49Speaker 01

  As it, as the same way that like an 85 or 90 year old, sometimes I, I think they feel like, well, I'm depending, but I, I do think some people are like, I lived my life and I'm done now.

• 1:47:03Dax Shepard?

  But I do think most of those people, their quality of life's gone down quite a bit. They don't, they can't go out and do things and they can't, you know, there's loneliness and isolation and body pains and

• 1:47:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's

• 1:47:15Dax Shepard?

  incontinence, don't forget incontinence. Like if you were peeing your pants three times a day, you'd be like, I'm fucking done. I'm sick of cleaning my

• 1:47:23Speaker 01

  Well, somebody else would be cleaning it.

• 1:47:25Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:47:26Speaker 01

  So you'd like, you're the one that wanted to wear diapers and pee in the bed.

• 1:47:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:31Dax Shepard?

  It sounds great.

• 1:47:32Speaker 01

  You already want that.

• 1:47:33Dax Shepard?

  Last night, yeah, I would have loved to have been wearing a diaper.

• 1:47:35Speaker 01

  See, that's not, it's not gonna slow you down. I don't know. I guess it's just, we won't know until we try it.

• 1:47:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:42Speaker 01

  But my gut is I will, I will be ready to be done.

• 1:47:48Speaker 01

  By then. I really do.

• 1:47:50Dax Shepard?

  I was wondering if that's a sign of depression. That should be on like a first questionnaire.

• 1:47:54Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 1:47:55Dax Shepard?

  Do you feel like you're gonna be done soon? You go, yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:01Speaker 01

  Ironically, I'm not scared of dying.

• 1:48:04Dax Shepard?

  Me neither.

• 1:48:05Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm scared of everyone else dying. And that's part of it. If you live 250 years, the amount of loss you are gonna have accumulated is a lot.

• 1:48:14Dax Shepard?

  It's a lot, but you'll be making new friends and having more children and having more lives.

• 1:48:19Speaker 01

  No, I, no.

• 1:48:20Dax Shepard?

  You have to just think, what if you could live a whole other life in France? And then a whole other life in China? Like, there's so many corners of the world

• 1:48:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:34Dax Shepard?

  to keep things interesting. And then after like 800 years, you're like, I'm gonna move back to Milford, Michigan. Try that out again.

• 1:48:41Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:48:42Dax Shepard?

  Hope it's still there.

• 1:48:43Speaker 01

  It will be not what you remember.

• 1:48:45Dax Shepard?

  Skyscrapers and flying cars.

• 1:48:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know though. It's like, are we just? I think our lives are supposed to have an end. I don't know.

• 1:48:55Dax Shepard?

  Well, clearly they are.

• 1:48:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:57Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:48:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so I think if we monkey around with that.

• 1:49:01Dax Shepard?

  That's the part I think is interesting. Yeah, people think like you're going against nature. What you're really saying is you're going against God. There's something deep that people think you're playing God if you live forever.

• 1:49:12Speaker 01

  I don't think that because I don't believe that like, but I.

• 1:49:17Dax Shepard?

  It's the moral dumbfounding. You're like, you know, it's greedy and too much to ask to live forever. There's something about it, like there's some moral imperative that feels like being violated by living forever.

• 1:49:27Speaker 01

  I think there's something very poetic about a life.

• 1:49:33Dax Shepard?

  We've been forced to view it that way though, because it is, that is what it is. I think we have no choice but to see it as poetic.

• 1:49:39Speaker 01

  But I, I don't know. I think wisdom is real and I think wisdom obviously comes with experience, but it also comes with knowing that the end is coming closer. So I don't know if we are living forever, if anyone really ends up.

• 1:49:57Dax Shepard?

  Acquiring wisdom?

• 1:49:59Speaker 01

  Like the feeling that you talk about when you talk about like your kids. That's a feeling that I think a lot of older people feel about life in general. They just see the preciousness of the whole picture and humanity and people. And I think that's a really beautiful thing. And I think you earn that by.

• 1:50:21Dax Shepard?

  Getting towards the end.

• 1:50:22Speaker 01

  I really do.

• 1:50:23Dax Shepard?

  Where you start cherishing everything.

• 1:50:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, maybe. Think how much wisdom you could have though, after 400 years.

• 1:50:29Speaker 01

  I don't think you would.

• 1:50:30Dax Shepard?

  I even feel this aging myself is like, you'd have seen so many market collapses.

• 1:50:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:36Dax Shepard?

  Social upheaval that you would go like, yeah, and it'll pass.

• 1:50:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:44Dax Shepard?

  You know, kind of like, kind of like emotions in your body. And I've gotten to that. Like I've just seen like, you know, 2008.

• 1:50:53Dax Shepard?

  You're a monster if you drive an SUV. The SUV market collapses.

• 1:50:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:58Dax Shepard?

  And then I look up one day and it's like, oh, and everyone's driving a crossover and SUV and everyone just kind of forgot about that thing.

• 1:51:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:51:03Dax Shepard?

  It's just these cycles of like, everyone decided everything is just, this is so terrible and we're done with this. And then I watch it come right back up.

• 1:51:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:11Dax Shepard?

  It's for me, it's helpful because I'll watch the current craze of like, what is going to go away? And I'll just go like, yeah, maybe. Well, I don't know. We'll see how this.

• 1:51:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, the, uh, my friend Sally, uh, she has this guy in her building. He's older. I think maybe like 90. Like during the election time, he was like, it's four years.

• 1:51:33Dax Shepard?

  Right. Yeah. And, and I think some of, um, that you're seeing some of that in me.

• 1:51:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you're only 40. I don't think you get to say that in the way that the 90 year old gets to.

• 1:51:47Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:52:00Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:52:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:52:01Speaker 01

  Well, this is for Andrew. Andrew Schulz.

• 1:52:05Dax Shepard?

  Andrew Schulz.

• 1:52:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:52:07Dax Shepard?

  Some feedback just came in for, because it's on the week early.

• 1:52:11Speaker 01

  It's on Wondry Plus already.

• 1:52:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And already I read a couple of people say like, oh my God, what a fucking incredible episode. So that was good.

• 1:52:18Speaker 01

  That's great. Yeah. It was, it was good to have him and talk some stuff out. Okay. Russia McDonald's.

• 1:52:28Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:52:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. They did sell, sell it to a local buyer, McDonald's at during the war.

• 1:52:35Dax Shepard?

  They sold it.

• 1:52:36Speaker 01

  Well, they left Russia.

• 1:52:38Dax Shepard?

  They left Russia and then those buildings just got taken over by some other company.

• 1:52:42Speaker 01

  Right. But still in the food.

• 1:52:46Dax Shepard?

  Still a McDonald's.

• 1:52:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:48Dax Shepard?

  Well, now what's the name now?

• 1:52:49Speaker 01

  Um, it's called.

• 1:52:53Dax Shepard?

  Vladimir Putin's Hamburger House.

• 1:52:55Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:52:56Dax Shepard?

  Putin's Patty Mel House.

• 1:52:59Speaker 01

  Putin's patties.

• 1:53:00Dax Shepard?

  Putin's patties. I'd go.

• 1:53:02Speaker 01

  Um, the Kusno Tachka. It translates to tasty and that's it.

• 1:53:09Speaker 01

  Tasty and that's it is the title.

• 1:53:11Dax Shepard?

  That feels very Russian, my stereotype. It's like.

• 1:53:13Speaker 01

  I know, it's so bleak.

• 1:53:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, this is what I said, like, you know, my story of my Russian stone person. My first house. Whatever that is 20 years ago, and I was redoing the bathroom. And the contractor had brought the stone person that was gonna put in all the stone in the bathroom.

• 1:53:32Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:53:33Dax Shepard?

  But he hadn't said anything. And the contractor was like, do you want a steam shower? Do you want this? Do you want this? So many options, right?

• 1:53:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:53:40Dax Shepard?

  And at a certain point, I said, sometimes I just wish I was doing this fucking bathroom in Russia. It's like, you want to take shit? Yes, no. You want to wash face? So I do my Russian thing.

• 1:53:49Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:53:50Dax Shepard?

  And there's no laughing.

• 1:53:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:53:53Dax Shepard?

  And I say, are you Russian? To the guy there. And he's like, yes. But it is funny.

• 1:53:59Speaker 01

  Oh, good. Okay. Oh, wow.

• 1:54:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:54:04Speaker 01

  Okay, so tasty and that's it.

• 1:54:06Dax Shepard?

  Tasty and that's it. If you don't like tasty, then fucking keep it moving.

• 1:54:09Speaker 01

  Yep. Okay, now, is Fanta Nazi Coke? Fanta, owned by Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. Company. Fanta was introduced in 1940 and is the second oldest brand owned by Coca-Cola.

• 1:54:26Dax Shepard?

  Introduced in Germany?

• 1:54:27Speaker 01

  Correct, during World War II due to ingredient shortages.

• 1:54:30Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so it was created there in Germany land.

• 1:54:33Speaker 01

  That's right, in World War II.

• 1:54:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:54:36Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:54:36Dax Shepard?

  So.

• 1:54:37Speaker 01

  Ellipses. We'll leave it at that.

• 1:54:40Dax Shepard?

  I always find this so interesting.

• 1:54:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:42Dax Shepard?

  I bring it up kind of too often. But Adidas.

• 1:54:47Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:54:47Dax Shepard?

  And Puma. Were brothers.

• 1:54:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:54:51Dax Shepard?

  Yes, they own a shoe company together.

• 1:54:53Speaker 01

  I didn't know that.

• 1:54:54Dax Shepard?

  And at the outbreak of World War II, one was a sympathizer and one was not. And the company split up over it, yeah.

• 1:55:03Speaker 01

  So Puma is the non-Nazi one?

• 1:55:07Dax Shepard?

  I'm not gonna say anything out loud, yes.

• 1:55:08Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, we already know about Adidas and their.

• 1:55:11Dax Shepard?

  Adidas.

• 1:55:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, that is, that was his name, right?

• 1:55:15Dax Shepard?

  I think that was their last name, yeah, yeah.

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  Ah, the Nazi got the last name, then the other one had to go with Puma.

• 1:55:22Dax Shepard?

  Pretty cool. Hey, I like Puma.

• 1:55:24Speaker 01

  I mean, everyone likes Pumas, but like.

• 1:55:29Speaker 01

  You get to, when it's your last name, it's a blank slate. And you get to like really make that a brand. When you, when it's Puma, you already have an idea of what a Puma is. The logo has to be a Puma.

• 1:55:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. It'll be a midsize mountain cat.

• 1:55:48Speaker 01

  Okay, Donnie Burns is the Scottish ballroom dancer who has won many titles and holds a Guinness World Record. I was looking up most winningest ballroom dancer.

• 1:55:57Dax Shepard?

  How many has he won?

• 1:55:58Speaker 01

  Well, he's won 14 time world professional Latin champion, 11 time international Latin American dance champion.

• 1:56:06Dax Shepard?

  That's what's unfair to a lot of these disciplines. You know, a guy like Jordan wins six rings. And you're like, he's the Michael Jordan of whatever. And then some other guys win. He's on 14 times. He's like, Jordan, you need a step stool to kiss my ass. That's what he would say.

• 1:56:22Speaker 01

  That is probably what he would say.

• 1:56:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. I guess that is unfair. Okay, Andrew said that Tim Waltz said he was at the Battle of Gettysburg in the Civil War. That was obviously a joke.

• 1:56:34Dax Shepard?

  Hyperbole.

• 1:56:35Speaker 01

  That was hyperbole and it was a joke. It was.

• 1:56:38Dax Shepard?

  Tiananmen Square?

• 1:56:39Speaker 01

  Correct. That he said he was there or a part of. And he was not.

• 1:56:45Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:56:46Speaker 01

  So that was bad. Okay, bipolar, you said 10 times the rate in Japan. I mean, I'm sorry, we have 10 times the rate over Japan. The United States has the highest lifetime rate of bipolar disorder at 4.4%. India, the lowest with 0.1%. And Japan, 0.7%.

• 1:57:09Dax Shepard?

  0.7. Forty-four divided by seven is almost seven.

• 1:57:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:17Speaker 01

  So seven?

• 1:57:17Dax Shepard?

  7%. No, seven times.

• 1:57:21Speaker 01

  Seven?

• 1:57:22Dax Shepard?

  Seven, we have seven times the rate, not 10 times the rate.

• 1:57:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:25Dax Shepard?

  That's still astronomical.

• 1:57:27Speaker 01

  That's a lot.

• 1:57:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:29Speaker 01

  Is Jack Schlossberg JFK's grandson? Yes. He is.

• 1:57:34Dax Shepard?

  Congratulations.

• 1:57:35Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. I thought he looked like Ben Schwartz.

• 1:57:39Dax Shepard?

  And I thought he looked like Ashton.

• 1:57:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't, I didn't. He doesn't look like Ben Schwartz, but they have similar mannerisms. And then this also, I just started watching The Pit.

• 1:57:49Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:57:49Speaker 01

  Which is on Max. It's a medical drama.

• 1:57:53Dax Shepard?

  It's ER, just call it ER.

• 1:57:54Speaker 01

  It's basically ER. It has Noah Wiley.

• 1:57:58Dax Shepard?

  John Wells, I think, is the show.

• 1:57:59Speaker 01

  Correct. And it's fun. I love, I really just like a medical drama.

• 1:58:06Dax Shepard?

  The only one I ever got hooked on was House.

• 1:58:10Speaker 01

  That's the one I didn't do.

• 1:58:11Dax Shepard?

  Hugh Laurie is so incredible.

• 1:58:13Speaker 01

  He is such a good actor.

• 1:58:14Dax Shepard?

  He's a cantankerous addict.

• 1:58:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:58:17Dax Shepard?

  And the most brilliant doctor on the planet.

• 1:58:20Speaker 01

  So you never watched ER?

• 1:58:21Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:58:22Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:58:22Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:58:23Speaker 01

  Well, I just finished The Pit and I'm gonna restart ER.

• 1:58:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you're gonna restart Pit?

• 1:58:28Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:58:28Dax Shepard?

  I just finished Pit and I'm gonna restart it.

• 1:58:30Speaker 01

  I mean, that is something I have done, but.

• 1:58:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:32Speaker 01

  Um, no, I'm gonna restart ER. I'm excited about that.

• 1:58:35Dax Shepard?

  I was too busy in life when that came out. You know, it was like early twenties, I think. I wasn't at, I wasn't watching TV. I was like out every single night doing something fun.

• 1:58:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, you were probably nine, yeah, because I, I have very vivid memories of watching it with my mom in bed.

• 1:58:54Dax Shepard?

  Fun.

• 1:58:55Speaker 01

  Yes, and in our house in Tennessee, so I would have been seven.

• 1:58:59Dax Shepard?

  Watching TV in bed is so fun.

• 1:59:02Speaker 01

  It is.

• 1:59:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:03Speaker 01

  We would watch ER. So seven, so yeah, you were nineteen.

• 1:59:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:08Speaker 01

  That was nostalgic watching The Pit, but there's an actor on there that is so Ashton-y.

• 1:59:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 1:59:16Speaker 01

  Yes. And there's an actress that is very Christina Ricci.

• 1:59:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:59:23Speaker 01

  So there's a lot of doppelgangers on that show, which is interesting. And then I was reminded that there are some, there's like some people that are cutouts in the sim. There's like, they're a cookie cutter that gets stamped and then they just like change some things.

• 1:59:40Dax Shepard?

  I've been saying this, yeah. Now that I'm 40 and I've met

• 1:59:44Speaker 01

  Congratulations.

• 1:59:45Dax Shepard?

  Tens of thousands of people in my life.

• 1:59:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:47Dax Shepard?

  I think there's like 1,600 people.

• 1:59:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:59:50Dax Shepard?

  I meet doubles nonstop.

• 1:59:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:52Dax Shepard?

  I'm like, oh, is it? And then what's crazy is the people with the same physicality, their personalities are generally the same too. Like, I think how you look ends up predicting a little bit how you're gonna act.

• 2:00:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe.

• 2:00:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:00:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, so they just take like, they like make the ear a little bigger and like flatten the nose a little bit. They're like, that one's good.

• 2:00:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they do like a 2%.

• 2:00:12Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 2:00:12Dax Shepard?

  Kind of like my tattoos, ding ding ding. Just change them enough that they're original.

• 2:00:17Speaker 01

  Exactly. Okay, I didn't know what buck breaking was.

• 2:00:21Dax Shepard?

  Hmm, ugly term.

• 2:00:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:24Dax Shepard?

  Not ugly, ugly activity.

• 2:00:26Speaker 01

  Right, correct. The history of sexual exploitation of black people by the dominant society, particularly the sexual exploitation of black men.

• 2:00:34Dax Shepard?

  We're gonna go out on buck breaking?

• 2:00:36Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no. AOC's district voted for Kamala.

• 2:00:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:00:43Speaker 01

  She lost some votes.

• 2:00:45Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:00:46Speaker 01

  But she still won it.

• 2:00:47Dax Shepard?

  Gotcha.

• 2:00:48Speaker 01

  So some people moved over is the thing, but not the majority.

• 2:00:51Dax Shepard?

  Gotcha.

• 2:00:52Speaker 01

  Okay, that's it.

• 2:00:55Dax Shepard?

  That settles it.

• 2:00:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:00:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:58Dax Shepard?

  Wonderful.

• 2:00:59Speaker 01

  That was, um, I was glad we had him on.

• 2:01:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, me too.

• 2:01:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:01:03Dax Shepard?

  All right, love you.

• 2:01:04Speaker 01

  Love you.