Re-Air: Famous Comedian REVEALS Techniques for Manifesting Your Dreams, with Ron Funches

As we kick off the New Year, with many of us setting fresh intentions and trying to build momentum and healthy habits to take us through 2026, we’re revisiting an episode from 2023 with one of our favorite comedians, Ron Funches (stand-up comedian, New Girl, Loot)! Ron joins us in the studio to discuss the complicated dynamics of divorce, coparenting, body image stressors, raising an autistic son, and the spiritual component of jiu jitsu. He explains what it’s like to have kids a generation apart and the different parenting resources he has at his disposal now that he didn’t have the first time around. Ron opens up about what his son’s autism has taught him, his self-focus after being a “serial monogamist” for so long, his mom’s career as a social worker, and the eye-opening advice he learned from Mayim years ago. Mayim opens up about the shame of divorce and Ron explains how vision boards work. Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.bialikbreakdown.com/ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ https://www.youtube.com/mayimbialik%E2%81%A0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices https://megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Mayim Bialik?

  Hi, I'm Mayim Bialik.

• 0:05Jonathan Cohen?

  And I'm Jonathan Cohen.

• 0:07Mayim Bialik?

  And welcome to our Breakdown. As we kick off the new year, many of us are setting fresh intentions and trying to build momentum and really thinking about what are healthy habits that can take us through 2026. For that expressed reason, we're going to revisit an episode from 2023 with one of our favorite comedians, Ron Funchess. You've probably seen Ron or heard his very distinctive voice in anything from New Girl to Lou to the Trolls franchise.

• 0:37Jonathan Cohen?

  Ron was actually the first person on our podcast to talk about the power of vision boards. And Mayim actually goes full-on vision boarding in 2026. She launched an exclusive Substack piece on it, and we wanted to include all of you on the power of vision boards. So this is why we are re-recording this episode. Ron famously has New Year's Eve parties that include vision boarding, helping people set up what their lives might look like in the new year, which sounds like a fantastic way to spend New Year's.

• 1:11Mayim Bialik?

  We've been waiting for our invitation to one of these vision board New Year's parties at Ron's house for years, but maybe it'll come this year.

• 1:18Jonathan Cohen?

  Also in this episode is a very fun moment where I make Ron laugh hysterically with one of the best burns that he says has happened on this podcast, so check that out if you haven't heard it already.

• 1:30Mayim Bialik?

  Wait, the burn is of me?

• 1:32Jonathan Cohen?

  That's correct. It's all in good fun. What's also fun is joining us on Substack for exclusive content like Mayim's vision board and the intersection of how science can actually back up something like a vision board and prove that it actually helps us create what we want.

• 1:50Mayim Bialik?

  And now we hope you enjoy taking a look back at our episode with Ron Funchess.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Thank you for having me, of course. Thank you for letting me in your home.

• 2:02Mayim Bialik?

  I did your podcast, like, two years ago, I think?

• 2:05Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 2:07Mayim Bialik?

  I think, three years ago, I was talking about Call Me Cat at the time, and I think I was, our podcast was new, so I appreciated you allowing me to come on and talk about our podcast.

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 2:20Mayim Bialik?

  And we're excited to have you here. I have many questions about many things.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:26Mayim Bialik?

  Jonathan, is there somewhere you would like to start?

• 2:28Jonathan Cohen?

  I just want to know what's up, man. How you doing?

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Good combo.

• 2:37Jonathan Cohen?

  She comes with a list.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, back up, good cop.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  This is a good interrogation.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  I'm doing well. I've been starting a new, like, training program where I'm eating some fun stuff and cooking more for myself, so that's made me feel good. I made a nice grilled salmon before I got here, and so that was, I was like, this is a fun afternoon to sit out on the patio and just eat it after I made it, and it just made me feel like a real man. And then just been hanging out with my sons. Been doing a little bit of touring, but I've been trying to cut back a bit. I mean, in general, they wouldn't ask what, you said how. In general, sleepy.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  Happy, somewhat stressed out, and just trying to make it through the strike and get back to work, hopefully, soon.

• 3:36Mayim Bialik?

  Absolutely.

• 3:37Jonathan Cohen?

  Firstly, cooking salmon always increases the value of the day, you know? Makes you feel good, like you accomplished something, so I understand that. But what's stressing you out?

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, this is, I thought about this before I got here, so it's funny.

• 3:50Mayim Bialik?

  He said he didn't have a list, but he's got a list.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Oh, I mean, it's how you play the game. No, no, true good cop.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  I thought about this recently and so it made me both like happy in part of it because it was like, oh, my life's really changed. The number one thing stressing me out right now is I'm in the middle of a divorce and I love that to just wrap up so I know what my life is gonna be like and just so I can feel like I'm not stuck in an old pattern and that I'm moving forward. That would make me feel so much better. The second thing that is stressing me out in my life right now is that the bidet in my toilet stops functioning properly and so it doesn't do the self-cleaning function nor does it postate against my butt currently.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  And it's rea- and I'm like, that's what I bought it for. So it's really stressing me out and my assistant is on a vacation. So I have to be the one to take care of it. So it's gotta wait till she gets back.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  And so it's stressing me out a bit because I was like, this is why I bought this. And then, but I was like, oh, what a beautiful thing. That that is my second biggest stressor. My third is just constantly my, like, just trying to take care of my diet and my health. Make sure, because I got two sons 20 years apart and, you know, used to be 360 and then down a lot and then up a little. And whenever I go up a little, it stresses me out. So I feel like I'm gonna go back to where I was. So it's like a sandwich of like real stressors, but in the middle, just like, okay, beautiful life.

• 5:32Jonathan Cohen?

  Well, it is annoying when things don't do what they're supposed to do.

• 5:35Mayim Bialik?

  Especially a bidet.

• 5:37Jonathan Cohen?

  So I just want to acknowledge that.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Thank you. I appreciate that.

• 5:40Mayim Bialik?

  It could be a wife. It could be a bidet. Nobody's doing what they're supposed to do in Ron's life.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I could do, well, there's many dirty jokes I could make currently, but I will just not pick the low-hanging fruit. But let you think of it.

• 5:58Mayim Bialik?

  Well, the first thing I was thinking, when you mentioned your first stressor, and you're in good company. We're both divorced people. So you're in safe company. A lot of people before everyone was getting divorced, when they heard that I was divorced, I was one of the first people that I knew, you know, in my circle that was divorced. I was, I was a trendsetter.

• 6:16Jonathan Cohen?

  First the flower hat, then the divorce.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:19Mayim Bialik?

  And, you know, I, I, everybody having fun?

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Well, I can not let it good. That's a solid burn.

• 6:30Mayim Bialik?

  What I was going to say is I come from a family where like you don't get divorced. You just like suffer in silence until someone dies. Like that's the thing. So.

• 6:41Jonathan Cohen?

  That's how you know it's true love.

• 6:42Mayim Bialik?

  That's how you know it's true love. But for me, I felt like a lot of shame. I felt a lot of shame about it and I didn't know other people getting divorced. And then little did I know, you know, the 2000s were gonna hit hard and heavy. And then a lot of people started getting divorced. So I felt less alone.

• 7:00Jonathan Cohen?

  Unconsciously coupling.

• 7:01Mayim Bialik?

  Some were unconsciously coupling. But I just, I guess, you also, you got married during COVID.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 7:10Mayim Bialik?

  Adorable pictures, I have to say.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 7:12Mayim Bialik?

  It's not a sore spot to bring up.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  No, the pictures were great.

• 7:15Mayim Bialik?

  A masked wedding is very, you really rocked it out.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 7:18Mayim Bialik?

  Um, and you have, you have a tiny one. Like he's one, is that right?

• 7:23Speaker 02

  He's 16 months.

• 7:24Mayim Bialik?

  He's 16 months. Oh, my gosh. That's awesome. Do you talk about sort of the evolution of where you're at with it? You don't have to.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  You talk about just in life?

• 7:36Mayim Bialik?

  No, like with, yeah, like what it's like doing that with a little one especially. Like mine were four and seven and it seemed like it's an added complexity. So I'm curious what that's like parenting this time around while also dealing, you know, with a larger stressor.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, yeah, it's a mix of things. As you know, I've always been, when my mom asked me about it and I tried to be honest and I was like, she was like, well, would you have had a kid knowing that you would have gotten divorced so quickly? And I was like, it's hard to say. Like, you know, I certainly wouldn't have been like, you know, let's have this kid and then just not be together. This seems wild. And being a single, I mean, I was a single parent for many years already. I had sole custody of my oldest son for many years. And so I kind of thought that this was gonna be kind of the, you know, inverse of that, where I was going to have this traditional family and come home from work and just shoot shows

• 8:36Speaker 02

  or do whatever I do, go on the road and come home and have this family dynamic. And then when I realized that it didn't, that the, you know, ideal of it and the premise of it was better than the execution, it was a hard decision to make. But it was also more having my son was like a.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Like a big trigger for to be kind of like, well, how do I want to raise him to be? What type of man do I want him to be? Would I want him to stay in something that's not working for him? Would I want him to compromise what he feels and truly believes in himself? Or to not follow his instincts? And I want, and I would say, no, you know, I always want to instill in my sons to believe in themselves and to follow what they believe in, even if it's a hard decision, even if other people tell you it's the wrong decision, to believe in yourself. And I, you know, in order to say that, you gotta kind of live that, you know? So that was a pusher into that.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  And now I'm just kind of look at the blessings or whatever I have, like, you know, having sole custody of my oldest son. It's been a lot of fully sole. And to have someone that I can co-parent with, that's someone that does take great care of my son and our son, and does take love and just, you know, we don't work together, but they seem to work very well together. So I'm happy for that.

• 10:07Mayim Bialik?

  What's it like having kids a generation apart, essentially?

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Oh, it's awesome.

• 10:13Mayim Bialik?

  What is your older son, like, what's his take on, on being a brother at an age when some people have kids?

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I mean, I had my first son when I was 20. So to now have my other son and then to see my oldest 20 being like, wow, you have such a baby face.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  No one should give you a child at all. I left him in a hotel room alone the other day. And I said, don't open the door for anyone. And he turned to his Spider-Man doll and said, don't open the door, Spider-Man. I'm like, that's the age I was.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  So now it's nice to have more resources and to be able to, you know, I just try to make sure I utilize them and not try to feel shame about it, having a nanny or whatever. And just, it still feel older, so I feel tired. I definitely had much more energy when I was 20 and doing it. But now, you know, I think, and also my oldest son is, you know, on autism spectrum. And I have, you know, my still young, early to tell for sure. I'm sure he'll have his own character sheet to live by. But my youngest so far seems to be pretty neurotypical. And so that's a real difference for me to have a kid that's very social and likes to talk to other people.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  And I mean, I remember when I was like, realized, I was like, oh no, we're gonna have sleepovers. I can tell already. We're gonna have a bunch of sleepovers and I never had to deal with that with my oldest son. So that's going to be something, and oh my God, other people's parents, ugh.

• 11:57Mayim Bialik?

  You were spared.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  I was truly spared because my oldest son was such a hermit. Didn't, I mean, other kids liked him, but he would shut the door and run from them. He truly preferred the company of adults usually. And so it was, he didn't like, you know, he'd overstimulate it. He didn't like loud noises and things like that. So he just was a, we grew up together. He was, you know, to this day, I'm just like, oh my God, you're like the chilliest roommate I could ever have. Like cleans the dishes, takes care of everything. Goes, every meal that I feed Teddy, he goes behind and cleans his high chair. He's just a great big brother, but he's also happy when he leaves.

• 12:41Mayim Bialik?

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• 13:25Mayim Bialik?

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• 14:10Mayim Bialik?

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• 14:42Jonathan Cohen?

  How was your patience different with going the second time around? I know for me, when my son, who is now 15, was born, hearing him cry, like I hadn't been around a lot of babies, hearing him cry was like maddening. I was like, I gotta do something. And there's, you know, sometimes nothing to be done. They just want to, they just need to cry a little bit. But was it different for you the second time?

• 15:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, and with autism especially, you have to learn a lot of patience in like repeating things, repeating commands, repeating whatever, you know, soothing, whatever you have to do. There's a lot of patience and repetition, so I've been well-trained in that now. And then also having the second son, it's truly a second thing somewhere. I'm like, ah, you're fine.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Like, um, and my ex, she would like squishes little blueberries, you know, every month. And I was like, oh, you're clearly the first time you had a kid. And I'm like, if the blueberry takes him out, he's not meant to be here.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  He's weak.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Because gums can't handle a blueberry.

• 15:57Mayim Bialik?

  It's interesting, because I, you know, you hear people talk about when they have their second, you know, like, oh, the second child, like, the first child gets like the photo album. And, you know, the second one is just like, hopefully in the background of some picture somewhere. And if you have a third, like, there is no photo album.

• 16:14Mayim Bialik?

  But I hadn't thought about what it would be like to have them, you know, 20 years apart. But it's true, you, you already have kind of a parenting toolbox of like, Yeah. even though it was 20 years ago.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then, I mean, and that is a big difference, you know? Things change so much in 20 years, and, and there seem to be wildly different type of boys. My oldest is kind of, felt like, always like a firecracker. And my youngest feels like a wave, where he's like, he's chill, but he's always on the move. He never stops moving. And so that's very tiring.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  And just again, the resource difference is kind of the opposite, where my youngest, you know, there were times where like, I, I would be so embarrassed and ashamed, because we only had like one pair of shoes for him and anything. And, and now my youngest, you know, has like three pairs of Jordans. So it's like, such a, he dresses like a little rich man.

• 17:13Mayim Bialik?

  The one picture that I was looking at, there's a really sweet picture of your older son holding your younger one, which is also just, it's ridiculously cute. But I did notice the Jordans on the baby. It's pretty cute. Can you talk a little bit about sort of like, the differences, as you said, in sort of resources? And what your life was like when you became a parent the first time, and then what it's like now?

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, it was horrible.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Was not a good idea.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  I was twenty and I had no education whatsoever. I went to community college for three weeks. I hadn't started comedy yet. I worked at a grocery outlet, not even a regular grocery store. Well, gro- grocery, they were like, you get the spoiled stuff. That's what I dealt with. And then, so it was a very stressful time. It was stressful all the time, every day. What city were you in? I lived in Salem, Oregon. So it was just, and I was lucky for, as far as his autism diagnosis, because especially at that time, Oregon was on the forefront of like dealing with different therapies.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  And, uh, and I ended up living right across the street from an ABA therapy place. So it was per, I mean, it, you know, some things are just kismet in that way. And, um, but it was certainly, you know, food stamps and WIC and things of that nature. So, um, now to be able to, I mean, those are things even when the separation and divorce, I'm still very proud of myself to be able to like, oh, I'm taking care of two households and I'm making sure that everyone is thriving and well taken care of and not just monetarily, but with time and with, um, you know, just getting down on the floor with him and playing with him. Like I love to do that type of stuff as well. I try to, you know, balance now that I know what my schedule is with him.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  Usually the days he's with me, I don't really, I mean, I do a podcast like this, but that's about it. Now that I'm just with him all day and hanging out. Sometimes I might take a nap. And then he will take over for an hour or two. Uh, but other than that, it's just us playing and hanging out. And it's nice. Um, I couldn't give that to my first son, especially. And, and it was in a positive way, especially, you know, once he was diagnosed, I was like, I need to make money. I need to figure out a career. He might need to live with me forever. And so it was very much like, once I found comedy, I was just out doing it every night, trying to get away from open mics and find paid shows.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  So, um, in that regard, you know, my son stayed with me in a lot of Motel Sixes and Super Eights to this day. Sometimes. I'll be like, where do you want to go on vacation? And I'll be like, let's go to Oregon and stay in the motel six. And I was just like, dude, if we ever do that again, I've made some terrible choices.

• 20:19Jonathan Cohen?

  I'm curious if, you know, your son, having your son was like a motivation that you think you needed? You know, do you think you would have found something if you hadn't had your son? Or were you like, I need to search right now and like, kind of, you needed that?

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, certainly needed it. Yes, for sure. I wouldn't, that's what, my son's very spoiled. He gets whatever, video games, whatever he wants. And then a lot of people are like, and it's like, he truly, this is the definition of, he was shooting with me in the gym. He was a part, he was the reason I was doing things. Without him, I didn't have a lot of self-esteem for myself. And I didn't have a lot of motivation. And I had low standards. And so, living in a crappy apartment, having no type of future, I was like, this is fine for me. But as soon as I had my son, I was like, this isn't fine for him. And so, that was a high key motivator for me to figure something out

• 21:16Speaker 02

  and to do it in a, like, consistent and stay focused. I think certainly coming home every night and knowing that he, you know, was the reason I was doing it was, I mean, and it's still selfish, but I love doing comedy. It's not like a full altruistic thing. I love it. But he certainly was the gas that made it so I didn't just like, go and do a show and then hang out and do karaoke in Portland, you know? I did a show and then did another show and then came, went home.

• 21:47Jonathan Cohen?

  You can love it, but it still requires an enormous amount of work. You have to overcome setbacks. And so, like, if you don't have that motivation, you know, maybe you don't go as far as you do.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so, certainly for me, absolutely. And now, it's just, same thing with both my sons. They motivate me to my health, with my comedy, with everything. They just kind of provide a fun life and to make sure that it's not a temporary situation. That I'm able to, you know, take care of them for, you know, for generations.

• 22:20Mayim Bialik?

  I, that, speaking of motivation, I was curious when you mentioned, you know, like, eating differently and things like that.

• 22:28Mayim Bialik?

  You know, I had my first kid at 29 and my second one, whatever, a couple of years later. But when I see people who are like deep into their 40s and early 50s with toddlers, like, I don't think I could do it. Like, I think, I, I don't, I don't, I don't think I would have the physical strength. I mean, there's the exhaustion level, and you're still a young man. But I wonder if that's also part of it is like, you are 20 years later. Like now, you know, you're the age that you are, like, the body is not-

• 23:04Speaker 02

  That's a young dad in L.A.

• 23:05Mayim Bialik?

  Yes, exactly. No, but I'm thinking, like, that's, you, you still, like, that child doesn't know. They're like, I want the dad who can run, play, do all those things. So that's also like its own kind of motivation. I mean, I started, I know we, we share a jujitsu connection.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 23:21Mayim Bialik?

  I started doing jujitsu, it was something that my kids were doing. But I'm so glad that I started because, first of all, it gives me something that, you know, we kind of like do together, we track together. But also, like, it was something that motivated me to, like, stay active because their needs don't change just because I'm in my deep 40s.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, yeah, that's certain, I mean, that was one of the reasons I, it was more like a now or never thing with having another son. And it's very emotional in ways and now, well, short sighted in some ways where, because I was just, just missed having someone whose feet fit in my hands and their head was in my elbow. And that lasted like two weeks, he had very long legs. So it was not, I was just like, oh, wow, now I just gotta deal with you for the rest of my life. And he's the best. I love him, I'm so glad I did it. But it was certainly wasn't like, oh, I want to do this when I'm 45 or 50. I mean, I got a vasectomy after, so now, I mean, it's done, it's just two kids and I'm out, so.

• 24:25Mayim Bialik?

  Two and done.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  Two and done, but, you know. And, and the most selfishly and honestly, I always still worry about my oldest son. And I want to, you know, a lot of my ways of insulating his life have been through money. And then I realize, oh, at some point, I'm gonna die. And hopefully, he will still be alive at that point. And I really- Wanted someone who loved him enough to also still be around him, who might want to check in on him. And so I, and I love to see that now. That's actually one of the biggest joys in my life is to see how much they love each other as brothers already.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  Like how excited Teddy is to watch him and to like, see the things that he can do that he can't do, you know? And go like, oh, you know, you see it on his face. It's like, oh, I can't do that yet, but oh, maybe one day I'll be able to jump on a trampoline like you. You know, and it's so cool to see. And, and again, how much Malcolm takes care of him is, is just a nice bond that they have already that I'm hopefully going to cultivate for the rest of their lives, because I'm gonna need them to stick together.

• 25:38Mayim Bialik?

  This is an odd question, so feel free to tell me that it's odd. Is there something in particular also about having, you know, your older son who's on the spectrum and has a very special kind of tenderness? Is there something unique that you see in that brotherhood that you might not see if your older one wasn't on the spectrum?

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Well, I just, in general, I noticed a real shift in him. And the fact that he went from, I mean, and he still does have like, you know, stuffed animals on his bed and things like that. But he certainly shifted into this like, oh, I'm 20. I'm the big brother. I look out for you. I tell you, don't do that. I tell you to be careful. When he was used to being the one who was told to be careful. And so, and now he's just very kind and proactive. I mean, he's always been that way, but I mean, it's probably one of my biggest successes is how kind he is to, to everyone.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  And like my mom, I was, came to a show in Chicago I was doing a couple of weeks ago. And she was talking with my aunt and she told me a story that I didn't even know about, where she said whenever she comes to visit my son, you know, oftentimes I'll be on the road. And so my son will let her in. And ask her what she wants for lunch and bring her like a Postmates menu and then he will order it for her and then bring it to her and then clean up the place after her. And I was like, that's such a like, that's what a good man does for his grandmother. And I love that he does that naturally.

• 27:20Mayim Bialik?

  It's very sweet. How did you get into jiu-jitsu? I know you're a wrestling fan.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:24Mayim Bialik?

  Like, your whole life?

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, since I was five.

• 27:27Mayim Bialik?

  Wow.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:28Mayim Bialik?

  You were raised on like, classic WWF?

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, WWF, WCW.

• 27:33Mayim Bialik?

  Who did you like?

• 27:34Speaker 02

  I mean, everyone. At the time, Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Earthquake, Coco Beware, Tuko Scorpio, Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert.

• 27:45Mayim Bialik?

  Did you go to stuff in person or you watched on TV?

• 27:51Mayim Bialik?

  Let's just see how that looks. Go ahead.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  No, it was, what were you saying?

• 27:56Mayim Bialik?

  I was just curious if you went to venues in person or if you were, got it?

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, my uncle would take me to shows in Chicago. Chicago's always been a hotbed for pro wrestling and comedy. So I would go to Rosemont Horizon and see WWF House shows when I was younger and I fell in love with it.

• 28:16Mayim Bialik?

  How did you discover jiu-jitsu?

• 28:18Speaker 02

  Freddie Prince Jr. I mean, I'd heard about it before him, but he really brought it to my life. He did my podcast once and then we just kinda, he also is a big wrestling fan and I think owns a wrestling league currently. And he talked about how much, everyone else who I'd talked to about jiu-jitsu had always really stuck with the physical aspects of it and the defense aspects and the aggression aspects. And he was the first person who talked to me about the spiritual aspects of jiu-jitsu and how it made him feel the confidence that it gave him, the spirituality that it gave him, the, just the guidance and just the, how

• 29:01Speaker 02

  it helped his, he said that it felt that it helped his acting. And so. Um, when he, the way, you know, sometimes it's not even what someone says to you is how they say it and the love in their voice that you hear about something. If someone tells you about a dessert that, you know, a waiter and you can actually hear like, oh, they've tried this dessert and they really believe in it. And it was just the way he spoke about jujitsu and his professor in general that I was just like, okay. And then once I got, was getting divorced, I was like, okay, there's going to, I've been divorced before, so I know some of the steps. I know there will be a lot of anger and I was like, I should probably put that in a positive way. I know I would want to choke someone. I should probably get someone who will volunteer.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  Uh, and so we put those together. And so in January, I started going and, and, and been enjoying it ever since. I love it. Go two, three days a week. Really?

• 29:56Jonathan Cohen?

  So we were gonna ask you what your spiritual, uh, impact or how has jujitsu impacted you spiritually?

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Um, in a lot of ways, I mean, I guess the most simple ways is with putting real self-confidence, the feeling that I can, um, have a connection with my body and myself and, and full focus. That's what I really enjoy about it. I feel like every time I do it, it's like a bapt-, I get baptized because I'm so sweaty. I'm laying on the ground, I'm smiling. I really have to slow my brain down and focus, but also stay active physically and, you know, and I'm starting now to just now get some of the very basic lessons of like not thinking while I'm going, but just following my instincts. And, um, a lot of it is also going against your base instincts of like pulling away

• 30:46Speaker 02

  from someone or, you know, making a rash decision. And to be able to like kind of slow down and see beyond your like low level and primal reactions to like what is actual, like is a higher decision making is very spiritual to me and I enjoy it a lot. And just some of the lessons with my divorce and I mean, he was just teaching me an escape. If you, I tell this when anyone asks is, uh, he was teaching me this escape and he's like, there's two options. He's like, one, you turn away from me or the other one, you have to turn into me and you might get your face mushed, you might get some rug burn, but you should be able to get away. And. And it was just so profound to me of like that's all, you know,

• 31:29Speaker 02

  a lot of choices in life is that sometimes the only option is to go through uncomfortable situation where you get your face mushed and you get your cheeks burned, but you get out of it and the only other option is to just submit and then you've lost. So there's just, you know, there's been lots of lessons, but it's only been eight months. So I'm imagining I'm going to get some more.

• 31:50Jonathan Cohen?

  I mean, that's a pretty powerful analogy right there for most of life.

• 31:54Mayim Bialik?

  You know, my jujitsu experience was, you know, I was usually one of the only females. So it's very different because one of the things I really loved about jujitsu is, and I, I think this is also a bit of a spiritual principle, is learning to leverage what you have. Even if it doesn't seem like it's the strongest in the room or the biggest or the, you know, you don't always feel the bravest sometimes just based on what you're kind of coming to the table with. But the notion of learning more about your body, learning about leverage, learning about positioning and often escaping is also really helpful. And I think of that as kind of a spiritual principle.

• 32:29Speaker 02

  I agree with you. And I, I said, if I had a daughter, I would feel like I would, I mean, I wouldn't force them, but I would certainly try to introduce them to it because just the

• 32:40Speaker 02

  base level of like a lot of it being thigh based, being hip escapes, being how, what do you do if someone's on top of you and you don't want them to be? I think that's the lessons that should be instilled in, you know, most women that need them unfortunately, but I certainly, if I had a daughter, I think it was still a lot of self-confidence. I mean, I'm going to put my sons in or especially, I took my oldest. He tried once. He said, he doesn't want to go back, but I'm going to put my youngest. Hopefully he's gonna like it and get into it. And let me just, what you said, it was one of the first places that

• 33:16Speaker 02

  really told me to like, oh, use your, use your weight, use your leverage, you know, smush me. Like, you know, that's going to be what you have that's helpful for you. And because sometimes, you know, going on my health journey and stuff, a lot of times my weight has been always used as a way to put me down or to make me feel bad. And was the first things he said to me was like, make your weight my problem. And I was like, oh my God, that's such a better way to look and better way to feel about it. Like this is, I am who I am and you'd have to deal with whatever I bring.

• 33:50Jonathan Cohen?

  I like that a lot. Use what you have. For your, to your advantage.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:55Jonathan Cohen?

  There's a lot of talk about jujitsu amongst comedians, you know, probably because of Rogan.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  I think we should start a league and just fight each other. Me and you, Russell Peters can fight. Yeah, everybody.

• 34:09Jonathan Cohen?

  You have to fight while also making them laugh.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:12Jonathan Cohen?

  But what, do you think there's, what's the parallel between comedy and jujitsu? Or is there one?

• 34:17Speaker 02

  Well, I don't know if it is just comedy, although I know a lot of comedians that do it. I feel, and it might just be where we go, because it's an affluent class. But the amount of like, successful people I see in jujitsu, the amount of people who no matter what their industry is, they really are good at it, they have success at it, and they're looking for mastery of it. Beyond just like money, beyond, they're looking to really get into the details of their craft. And I think a lot of that with the comedians who do it, with the actors, whatever, is a lot of these people who really love problem solving, really love figuring something out, really love putting forth an effort and sweating and failing,

• 35:02Speaker 02

  because that's how we got to where we are. That's how I got to where I am, was by failing so many times, so many bombed auditions, auditions, so many bad sets. And having something where I start at the bottom of and have this white belt, and I know I'm probably have it for years, and I'm just gonna go and get better. And I feel my progress. I see my progress. I think in turn it has helped my comedy, where I'm able to look at the details a little bit more. I'm more confident in my abilities, more confident just in general of just like, okay, if you hate this joke, what are you gonna do? You probably don't know jujitsu. Come on over, come on over.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  If you do know jujitsu, don't, because I've just started.

• 35:53Mayim Bialik?

  I think also jujitsu is a very creative, kind of, you know, fighting form.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Very improv.

• 36:00Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, like with taekwondo or with, you know, some of the other, you know, eastern martial arts.

• 36:06Jonathan Cohen?

  There's more fixed.

• 36:08Mayim Bialik?

  There's, there's forms and there's a lot of formality and, you know, we bow and there's like a way that you bow. Like, someone got called out by our, um, our instructor, um, because their eyes were focused in the wrong place while bowing. Like, it's that, you know, specific and what I remember, you know, from jujitsu is kind of like, whatever works is also the rule, which is also true in comedy. I mean, it's true as an artist. Jujitsu really is about like, read the room, you know, read, read the body in front of you. Every time it's gonna be different. Something that works with one person on any given day may not work with someone who you think is gonna have the same, you know, style or whatever. Um, so I think when I, when I think of jujitsu, like, there's so much creativity to it.

• 36:52Mayim Bialik?

  Um, and that makes sense to me too. And I think the lack of structure, I would imagine, you know, really appeals to, to people who are used to being kind of creative like that.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. And just like, I love it when you, I mean, the creation. When you think of something and you go, okay, I'm gonna try to do this and then it works. It gets so exciting. And when you're able to not just think of it, but able to physically execute it at the speed that I need, so that my professor doesn't just turn me around and flip me over. It makes me, especially when I, you know, cause there's certain times where I know he's like, all right, well, you've gotten me here. I'll let you get it. But there's times where I'm like, okay, he doesn't want me to catch him yet. And when I do, it makes me so happy.

• 37:35Mayim Bialik?

  I'm curious if you can talk a little bit about what this strike period has been like for you.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 37:41Mayim Bialik?

  You know, everybody depending on our version of employment or, you know, art form has been impacted differently. And, you know, for a lot of people who write, you could still write during the strike. It's just, there's not a lot we can do with it. So I'm kind of curious, you know, you also, you know, have this baby. And so that's also probably been a period of, you know, getting to know him at this age in a different way. But yeah, I kind of wonder if you could talk a little bit about that.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I'm probably in a very rare situation where I was like stressed out about it. But I also was like, oh, this is actually great timing for me because I, you know, got separated last winter, about October. And had to go start working on the show that I work on. I guess I can say him now, Lou on Apple TV. I couldn't say that before. That's fun to say again. Check it out.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  And so that started back up in January. And so right before it started up, I went to Amsterdam and Paris for like a little trip to just kind of clear my head and hang out with friends and smoke a lot of weed. And then, and go to the Louvre on mushrooms, which I highly recommend. What a wonderful experience. And, but certainly nowhere near healed at that point. And but had to go to work and I thought it would be an escape and would be like, okay, I can't focus on anything else. But what I found was that, oh, I have all the emotion from this mixed with the emotion of working 14 hour days on a set. And so I, and I think I handled it very well.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  I don't think I yelled at a single person or no one would have thought I was a bad person to work with. But I. Certainly felt it every day. I would leave and I would just be drained and I would be completely worn out and tired and just sad. And so to kind of suddenly have this break to be like, okay, well, now you can have time to go to jujitsu more. You have time to see your therapist more. You have time to go back. I mean, a lot of my life this year has been like returning to the roots of things that made me happy and got to me where I am. So to just be have to go back on tour and do

• 40:06Speaker 02

  stand up and see some of the people who knew me when I started, like I did shows in Portland and to have people who knew me from like one year in, two years in and come and see my show and have them be like, this is like the most authentic version of you that I've ever seen. This is and that's what I've been really working on. So it's been a nice in that regard. I've mostly just been feeling for other people, for the people who I worked with on Loot, the PAs and everyone who, the makeup people, the hair people who, you know, truly, because you know, whenever you go on those sets, you hear about like, I got this coming up and then this and then this, because that's what they need in order to make ends meet. They have

• 40:50Speaker 02

  to have three or four things lined up. And so just being stressed out about that for them and also realizing, it's helped me realize a few things where I'm like, oh, I don't think I want to tour as heavily as I used to. You know, I have my new son. I've really noticed, you know, now I'm 40, how bad it is for my health, how hard it is for me to maintain my diet and my exercise and how those things are kind of more important to me now than like doing 20 sets all over the country. You know, I'd rather, I can do shows in LA, I can do, I mean, I'm always going to want to perform. And that's it again, like just getting back to the basics of like, oh,

• 41:31Speaker 02

  I don't necessarily need to sell out a bunch of theaters. I just love doing comedy. So if I can do that while also.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  Hosting some show that keeps me home and near my son. That would make me very happy because I want to do a lot of the things, like you said, that I couldn't, didn't do for my first son. I want to, if he gets in a sport, I want to be a coach. I want to be, I want to go on the museum trips and hate them, you know? I want to do it because, hey, it'll give me a bunch of material. That'd be great. And it'll be a way, because especially having the two kids, like, I'm really aware now of how quickly it goes and how like one day you have this baby and the next day you're watching them put on a graduation cap. And I want to be as in the moment with my new son as I can be

• 42:24Speaker 02

  because he seems to be a special little boy from already. He just seems like a sweet guy. And so I want to continue to mold that for him.

• 42:32Mayim Bialik?

  I have a question about, you kind of mentioned a bit of the momentum that happens. I think especially in comedy where, you know, once you have some level of success and you sort of like book stuff, there's this like momentum of, okay, now we book more and we book more and there's a tour and there's a thing and it's like more, more, more. And it's something we were talking with Fluffy about that in particular about, you know, there's a certain kind of like emotional burnout, I think, in particular for comedians because it's such a, it's such a raw and vulnerable, like you're up there kind of sharing so much of yourself. But I think about it, not just for people in our industry, because obviously I experience it as an actor.

• 43:17Mayim Bialik?

  There's like momentum. It's like, oh, well, you did this show and so now you're going to do this and now you're going to do this and now we're going to book you for this. So I wonder if you can speak a little bit about sort of what that's like to take control of it a little bit and say, I'm not just going to keep going on that momentum, but like what do I actually want? What makes me happy?

• 43:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I think it comes as part of the whole trying to have mastery over my craft. It's just not only on stage, but also realizing what I wanted from comedy, which at every time I just wanted to be able to pay my bills, take care of my family and have a good life. And in order to do that, I have to have a nice work-life balance. I have to go on vacations. I gotta have fun. I gotta go to concerts. I gotta see live, live performance because it refills my cup. It inspires me when I go see other people perform and see them happy and in their element. I saw Maya Rudolph, who I work with every freaking day on the show.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  And I see how talented she is, but I saw her do her Prince cover band, Princess. And it was like a whole nother thing. And I was just like, oh, my God, this is like, I can see how happy you are. I can see how in your element and how much she controlled that room, how sexy she was. And it was all these things where I was just like, that is so beautiful to like, you do this because you want to, because this is what makes you happy. And then in turn, it has filled an entire room and it's sold out. And so I, I am not there yet, but that's the path that I want to be on. That's where I want to head towards.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  And a lot of, you know, there's a time where you were so used to being told no, that when people start saying yes, you don't know when to turn them away. You don't know when to turn, you know, when someone offers, if it was an offer, I'm like, sure, we'll do it. And then it led to me having some bad times and some bad experiences. I'm a big believer in mantras and, and different things. And there was this one time I just made a mantra where I was just like, you know what I really want? Is less work, more money.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  And that's easy to say and fun to say, but it's terrifying in reality sometimes to turn down something and just go, I feel like something better is gonna happen. But it has for me, it served me well. And that, and the little bit is scary and, but whenever I do it, it turns. If I don't feel it, if I don't feel like it's going to be fun for me. And I've had some great mentors. I've had great people around me. And my acting coach from day one, she was just like, she was like, Five or six reasons why you take a job. Money, do you need that money? If you need it, take that job. Is it going to be a good experience for you? Is it going to be an experience where it's going to bring you around people? Maybe it's not going to give you the money.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Maybe it's not going to be that fun. But is it going to bring you around great people? Is it going to bring you around the people that you want to be around? You know, and if those things are true, then take the job. But if they're not true, don't take the job. And that was difficult for me sometimes, but it didn't. And I've seen so many of my friends who are more successful than me. And like, they never take a vacation. They never seem that happy. They seem very frustrated. And I was just like, I don't ever want, like, when do you win? You know? When do you realize that you have a beautiful life and you have fun? And so I'd rather, you know, make a little less money and go to Japan for a couple of weeks.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  Or just do what I need to do to have a fun and beautiful life. Because that's what I'm here for. I'm not here to, you know, produce content for other people. I'm here to have a fun life.

• 47:13Mayim Bialik?

  It almost seems like there's like two phases to self-esteem in that, you know, especially for those of us who live off of other people's applause or approval. Or like, that's how we know we're successful, right? Is when someone hires you for the thing that you do that makes them happy or rich or whatever it is. It almost seems like that's the first hit that your self-esteem gets like, oh, I have something of value to you. Or you will exploit me so that you can get wealthy. And in the process, I will be more well-known or I'll make money. So that's like the first phase of this like self-esteem shift. But then it seems like the second and more kind of mature aspect that you're talking about is then being able to say, I don't just live.

• 47:58Mayim Bialik?

  For you, that self-esteem means like I have esteem for myself in that there's a place where I now get to say, is this making me happy? Or is it making me happy in this way still?

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, the pandemic was certainly, I think, the thing that shifted me from that because it stripped away everything I had to find myself for previously where I was just like, I'm a comedian. I'm a comedian, this is what I do. I'm before, I'm a dad, but I'm a comedian Ron Funches. And then when I couldn't do stand up for like a year, it really, you know, it was devastating. But out of that devastation came this thing of like, oh, what really am I? Like, who am I for real? And I'm like, oh, I'm a, I'm a great dad, I'm a great son, I'm a good friend, I'm like all these other things.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  And that to me started to really feel solid as opposed to judging myself based off of my last set or if I, someone wants to give me a special or if, you know, because it never, because it's always a shift in goalposts. The things that I wanted so much when I first started, you get them and then it's still is just like, okay, well, I'm on a show, but why don't I have my own show? You know, and it's just like, these things are ridiculous when you say them out loud, but they really affect you mentally. And I mean, one of the greatest things I had was sometime, I think, I don't know where we were, but we were in the same building somewhere together.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  I don't even knew if we knew each other at the time, but I heard you, like you were pitching something or working on something and it was just after Big Bang had ended and you were talking about how frustrating it was because whoever, whoever you were talking to wasn't receptive. And I really opened my eyes at that time, I was like, oh, she was on Blossom and then she just comes off of this and she's still, they still won't fucking just bet on her? And I was just like, oh, okay, it's not personal, it happens to everyone, you know, and I still, I forget that sometimes, but it is, it's been a helpful reminder.

• 50:09Jonathan Cohen?

  I wonder how much that actually also frees you up to do the comedy that you want to do. If you're not like, oh, I just need that next special. And I won't name names, but there's been in the last, you know, six months, some comedians that have released comedy specials. And I listen to them or watch them. And I'm like, this feels like you just needed another hour. And you're, it sounds almost like a parody of themselves versus like really being able to say something new. Or, you know, they didn't feel like they were in their own skin.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I understand that and I agree with that. I will, just the stand-up comedian me, give some excuses and just be like, you know, not everyone is an actor, not everyone wants to be an actor. And so sometimes these specials are the best way that they can make money in order to continue to tour. And so it's not necessarily about them being ready or wanting, or feeling like they make an hour. They, you know, sometimes they're contractually obligated to deliver a special every so often. For me, luckily, no one's banging down my door for that all the time. So I get to do what I prefer, which is to like, kinda create and let my life change. And most of my comedy is personal.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  So the more I live, the more I go through things, the deeper I'm able to make the connections in my stand-up. You know, and I've been lucky, I'm lucky I didn't put out a special. If I put out a special a year ago, it would have been, how much I love my wife.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  The hour.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  So I've had to restart a couple of times with material and adjust and change. And I just, again, I always try to go back to the childhood version of me and what I loved and what I enjoyed. And I never cared if like my favorite artist put out, I liked wanting to, something to come out waiting. Be like, oh, when are they gonna do it? My favorite artist of all time is OutKast. And I love that every album that they put out. So sonically different, such a change, such an evolution in their lives that you can tell. You could, you knew where they were in their lives with each album from their debut, where there's these young, hungry people talking about looking up at ceiling fans

• 52:30Speaker 02

  and you can see the pencil marks and the things that they're writing in the dungeon and to them, to the hey-ah of like, "My life is a Super Bowl pop festival," you know? And to have so much evolution and change, it was like, they didn't operate off of a yearly schedule or two-year schedule. It was about when, when the new album was better than the last one. And that's kind of how I judge my, the way I create an hour is like, when do I feel this is better than the last thing that I put out? Um, and currently, I'm getting real close, so I'm hoping I'm gonna tape something soon.

• 53:04Mayim Bialik?

  That's awesome. That's awesome. Um, I wanna, I wanna, before we let you go, I wanna visit a different, um, aspect of Ron when he was little. Your mom was a social worker. Mm-hmm. And, um, my parents were public school teachers, which sometimes felt like they were therapists and parents to, you know, all the kids that, you know, that they, um, spent most of their day with, you know? I had parents who had to deal with other people's children, you know, all day and then come home and deal with us. Um, and I'm curious, did you understand what your mom did?

• 53:38Speaker 02

  You don't sound like you have any issues with that.

• 53:42Mayim Bialik?

  Just a few.

• 53:46Mayim Bialik?

  No, but I'm curious if you knew what your mom did. I mean, you know, social workers are often a bridge, you know, in so many situations when there's not, you know, mental health access of a certain type. So, you know, to me, when I meet people who know social workers or who are social workers, it's such a precious, precious, in many cases, thankless, you know, kind of task. And I wonder, um, where, where did your mom work? Like, where was she a social worker and what do you remember of that?

• 54:13Speaker 02

  Uh, she worked for Salvation Army for many years. And what I remember mostly... And I didn't even know at the time, but now it's just kinda interesting to like have someone who spent their, all their days helping other people, trying to help them connect resources, trying to get them out of bad situations, help their children, you know, have better food and better things in. And while we were literally probably one rung above that, like my, you know, my mom was a single mom. She was the only one bringing money in. My dad wasn't necessarily supporting the family at that time. And so, we were not doing well. It wasn't like, she was like, well now my life's good and I'm gonna be a social worker. Like she was going into the projects, going to Cabrini Green, going to places and then, you know,

• 54:59Speaker 02

  just kinda, and sometimes she would take me and she would just be like, you know, if you don't, this is where you can end up. If you don't, you know, take your schooling properly, if you don't, you know. And that's one thing I love about my mom is that she was always extremely hardworking and extremely active with us and showed us other things, took us to museums, took us to, um, musical performances and just showed us art and showed us that the world was bigger than where we were. And it's just, she's always been a helper, you know. She went from being a social worker to being a nurse and, um, she worked with a private nurse for a while with a bunch of like rich older people and she didn't like it and she started working as a nurse in a prison and loved it.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  And, you know, just being able to help people and, uh, giving care to some people who, who a lot of people had turned their backs on. And so, uh, she, well, she said, you know, she hated her coworkers and loved the prison.

• 55:59Speaker 02

  And my mom's just a helper and now, you know, she's got four grandbabies, she lives with my sister and splits time over here and, and just helps friends, grandkids and whenever my friends have a trouble, like my friend's dog died and she was like, can we call, he was like, can we call your mom?

• 56:17Speaker 02

  My mom is just like the best advice giver, the best supporter. Cause she's been through so much and she's seen so much. And it's always such great advice and you know, she was one of the, uh, when I made the decision to get divorced and get separated, um, she was one, you know, I was really surprised cause I felt like, you know, get some judgment. I got some of my cousins being like, you guys should try to figure it out. But you don't, you've never been to her house. If you've been here, you might not say that. You've seen the, the,

• 56:51Speaker 02

  the chemistry over here.

• 56:55Speaker 02

  You might not say that. But my mom was just like, she's like, especially, you know, I have the little baby and everything. So I was really worried about what she said. And the first words out of her mouth is that she was proud of me. She's like, I, she's like, I can't imagine how tough of this decision this is for you. Knowing that you're not going to see your son every day, knowing that your life's going to change. Knowing that you, you know, you might lose some money, you know, knowing all these things. And you're still making the tough, right decision for you. And she's like, I'm proud of you. And that's just kinda like the person my mom's always been. She's been a big supporter, supported my comedy from the beginning and then fell off two years in.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  But then she came back around.

• 57:39Mayim Bialik?

  One final question, you know, I always imagine for people who grew up with parents who were like, therapists or social workers, that it's like having a built in therapist. Is that what it felt like? Or you, you mentioned you've been to therapy. Was there a point in your life where you're like, I need help that's besides my mom's wisdom?

• 57:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, for sure. Yeah, when you realize you're making me, again, I've been divorced twice. And so you can't blame that on other people wholly. You gotta look at your own patterns and cycles that you have. And, um, and that's what I'm focusing on this year. I'm trying to stay single for a whole year cause I'm a serial monogamist. I jump into other relationships and put my energy into those people instead of focusing on myself. And now I'm grilling salmon and grilling shrimp for myself.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  I wouldn't have done that before. I would have thought that was too difficult. Turned out pretty easy. And so I'm really focusing on myself and being able to be a great dad and great, just happy and have a good mental mind state. So, um, therapy has been a big part of that for sure. I remember therapist Donna, who I love very much, was seeing each other monthly, which makes me feel great because I'm like, if it was more than that, I feel like I really got some issues. And she was like, I need to see you every single week or every day. But the fact that she's like, once a month is fine. She's like, alright, we got some obstacles, but in general, doing good.

• 59:08Mayim Bialik?

  I'm told that you have mood board parties.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:11Mayim Bialik?

  Is this a thing?

• 59:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:12Mayim Bialik?

  Can you explain what a mood board is for people who don't know?

• 59:15Jonathan Cohen?

  And can we get an invite? Because that sounds awesome.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  You want to come? Yeah, it was my little vision board party that we do. Um, it was basically, um, a New Year's tradition for me. Um, because I don't drink, I'm allergic to alcohol. And I just realized I've been spending a lot of New Year's Eve just chasing women around. Ended up on party buses that I didn't want to be on. And I was like, this does not seem productive.

• 59:39Jonathan Cohen?

  That's how I met mine.

• 59:41Speaker 02

  On a party bus?

• 59:45Mayim Bialik?

  So you're gonna unmeet me too?

• 59:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, that thing, that sounds like a place you hang out.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  Um, and I had heard about vision boards and just decided to have a party one day in my apartment and just was kind of skeptical, but still into it. And we did it and I put that I wanted to get a house for my oldest son on that time. Because we lived in a two bedroom.

• 1:00:07Mayim Bialik?

  Is it pictures? It's words?

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, let me explain it.

• 1:00:10Mayim Bialik?

  Go from scratch.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Sure, it's just like a business plan, but for your life. You know, you wouldn't just come into a bank asking for a loan with no business plan. And you can't go into your life for the year with no guidance, no goals, no map. So it's just like. Whatever you want on there. Uh, spiritual goals, physical goals, just materialistic goals. Like my, my bidet and my Japanese toilet, my, my toto neorist. It was, uh, on my vision board years ago.

• 1:00:43Mayim Bialik?

  And are you using magazines? The internet?

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, magazines.

• 1:00:47Mayim Bialik?

  Just like a bunch of magazines?

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  A bunch of magazines, sometimes the internet, sure.

• 1:00:51Mayim Bialik?

  And scissors and glue?

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  And we do, it is very crafty.

• 1:00:54Mayim Bialik?

  How big is this vision board?

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Uh, I mean, like poster size, but you could, it really freeform.

• 1:00:59Mayim Bialik?

  Like the science fair in eighth grade, like that?

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  Pretty much, a lot of it's like that, cause we present them at the end.

• 1:01:04Mayim Bialik?

  Do you also bedazzle them?

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:01:06Mayim Bialik?

  There's stuff to make them decorative and fun.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you want to, you know, like words of affirmation or just pictures that make you feel powerful or strong? Sure.

• 1:01:15Mayim Bialik?

  I like a pom pom.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:01:17Jonathan Cohen?

  And then you share them with one another? Is there any like discussion, notes, like how does it work?

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  No one gives you notes, cause they're not allowed to give you notes on your goals and dreams, but we...

• 1:01:28Mayim Bialik?

  Says you?

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure, okay, you're really pressing on this invite.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Change the vibe.

• 1:01:36Jonathan Cohen?

  She's like, set the bar higher.

• 1:01:40Mayim Bialik?

  What, we don't get prizes for the best vision board? I can't win anything?

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Uh, no, but we discuss it, a lot of times it's led to people kinda like collaborating with each other when they realize that they had similar goals or could help each other in different ways.

• 1:01:55Jonathan Cohen?

  That's nice.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  Um, yes, with the last one was in my house, we had like thirty, forty people.

• 1:02:00Mayim Bialik?

  I would have to be very intoxicated.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  You can be.

• 1:02:03Mayim Bialik?

  I would be terrified.

• 1:02:05Jonathan Cohen?

  No, this sounds amazing.

• 1:02:06Mayim Bialik?

  I'm already crying thinking about it.

• 1:02:07Jonathan Cohen?

  Sounds very supportive.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, people cry, we order a lot of healthy food and, um, you know, healthy-ish, we still have party. And then people do get inebriated and then they share their dreams and then they, you know, go home.

• 1:02:23Mayim Bialik?

  No, I mean, I would need to be inebriated just to be in that social situation with all that vulnerability.

• 1:02:28Jonathan Cohen?

  You'd be fine, you'd love it, you, people would be crying, you would love a good cry. Well, what a great way to bring in the new year.

• 1:02:34Mayim Bialik?

  I changed my mind, okay. He's like, I don't want her at my party. You go and you tell me how it is.

• 1:02:40Jonathan Cohen?

  I, I will.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like you, you, people would love you to...

• 1:02:45Jonathan Cohen?

  I'm into this. I gotta build my vision board. I gotta start getting magazines, because I don't have magazines.

• 1:02:51Mayim Bialik?

  All our magazines just have words. This is Harper's.

• 1:02:54Jonathan Cohen?

  Just all your Harper's magazines.

• 1:03:02Mayim Bialik?

  It's just words and some weird abstract poem.

• 1:03:06Jonathan Cohen?

  Ron, you mentioned kismet way earlier in this episode. Do you feel like a divine intervention in your life? Because, you know, I make up that you're quite spiritual and setting intention. And it sounds like you're practicing mantras and you have the spiritual relationship with jujitsu. And, you know, I have a lot of questions about how you got your comedy presence. Because we've spoken to a lot of comedians, it turns out, on this podcast. And they're great storytellers, obviously. But there's something about them becoming themselves on stage. You know, what I love about your comedy is like, you're so... I was really excited to meet you in person because your comedy presence is so unique.

• 1:03:48Jonathan Cohen?

  You know, I was watching a bunch of your Instagram videos yesterday and just to like, remind myself about some of your stuff. And like, you feel so calm on stage, you know, you have such a presence. And so I wanted to see, is that just you?

• 1:04:05Jonathan Cohen?

  And from the, you know, being able to sit with you here, like, it does feel like a lot like you. But I would imagine it takes a lot to get that, to come to that. And to be able to, you know, be that, especially on stage all the time. Like, how did you do that? You know, maybe not a simple answer. And then I guess the second part is like, do you feel some sort of divine intervention that got you there? Or still guides you now?

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  I mean, I guess that's a, like, answer easier, which is, yeah. I mean, I'm just a big believer in most things. I believe in more things than not. And because I think it's just more fun. And just like, I prefer things sauteed or than fried, because it's more fun to say. So that's how I like to live my life. And I've just felt that way.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Just through different things in my life, through the timing and things in my life, where I certainly feel that there is a guidance sometimes from whether it's, you know, ancestors or whatever you wanna call it. It's hard to put words on it, but I just believe in multiple planes and that we happen to believe, live on this current physical plane. And but when we pass on, we maybe move on to another one. And that seems fun, why not? And as far as being myself on stage is just, I mean, it's a true journey. It's a ever active, it's like staying balanced on a ball, you know? Like it's seems chill, but it's a lot of core work.

• 1:05:35Speaker 02

  It's a lot of like focus and a lot of like going through things in my life. Just moving around a bunch, having my son at an early age, having my son have special needs. There's a lot of things that happen in my life that really folk forced me to really dive into individuality, you know? Having a son who had autism was like, okay, he's gonna be different. Our lives are gonna be different. The way that he needs to be parented is gonna be different and I'm going to have to defend all of that. And so I need to be able to defend myself, my individualities, who I am as a person, and continue to push that and getting some success.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  And seeing that the way that it changed me a little bit, seeing the ways, seeing some ways to change my friends. Where it's like, okay, wow, you used to be super fun and chill and I could make fun about your thing. But now if I make fun about the project that you're on, you're mad because if it gets canceled, you think you're never gonna work again. I don't live like that. I think that, you know, things get canceled. I always kinda like feeling like this, where I'm like, yeah, okay, I worked on this because I was new and then I'm doing this. Yeah, that probably, it probably sucked, sure. But I was learning and no one else was gonna give me an opportunity to learn, so I did it. And just being able to kinda...

• 1:06:56Speaker 02

  Dig back into like what I love in comedy and that is not, I mean Conan O'Brien gave me one of the greatest compliments I've ever received and I always think about it and guides me all the time is that I was on a show doing a couch and we were just joking around and I said something improvised and made him really laugh and then you know we go to commercial and he just leans over to me and he goes, you know what I like about you? He said, you like comedy just for comedy. You don't like it because of what it's gonna give you. I can tell you just love comedy. And that's always stuck with me and I was like, man, I love that he could see that in me because it is true. And I'd never want to lose that. And in order to do that, I have to just be myself, be free, be happy.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  And even the divorce was a lot of that of just like, okay, I thought I had something that I really wanted and was fully in love with. And when I started to feel it not feeling right for me and not feeling like it was going to help my because everything's tied together. If my life is, if anything is screwed in my life, my comedy goes that way as well. So I was like, oh, if there's an issue here, it's going to affect everything I do. So I need, as hard as it is, I have to continue to dig deeper into myself. And that's where I feel like I gained most of my knowledge is internally. It's just through time, through things unlocking. It's a lot of times where there's certain things where I'm like, huh, I didn't know that. But there's a lot of things where I go, huh.

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  Somehow I think I knew that and now I have unlocked it, but I didn't know that. It's a weird, yeah, I didn't know I knew, but I knew that. And that's the interesting, I don't know how to explain that, but I hope that answers your question.

• 1:08:38Jonathan Cohen?

  It sounds, what I make up is you sound integrated. You know, to say that everything is connected and that, oh, some people will be like, oh, the marriage isn't okay, but I can escape into comedy. But for you to be like, oh, that isn't working and it's gonna have spillover effect. It sounds like you're just integrated and in that integration, you bring yourself to the stage and to being present. And I think a lot of people can listen to that and learn from it and relate to it no matter what they do for a living.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, yeah, I agree with you and that it's just that. The biggest thing that I, I mean, the earliest lesson I took in, because I would just go to open mic and I'd see these people, and some of them wrote these jokes that were just so great. And I was like, wow, I couldn't write a joke like that. Some of them be so like wild and on stage and so like charismatic. And I'm like, oh, I don't, I'm not, I'm a little more introverted than that. And some of them had washboard abs. And I was like, well, I don't have that. And so there's a point where I was like, oh, I can't chase or beat certain people at things. Like, the best weapon I have is me. And so the more me I become, the more I dig into what I am and what I love and what I'm about, the more I differentiate myself.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  And I think it's served me well now. And just that, you know, I don't get a ton of auditions, but when I do, a lot of them are meant for me. A lot of them are written in my voice. A lot of the time, you know, I've had a lot of breakdowns that come Ron Funchess type. And I take that as a, you know, a huge compliment, even though I'm continuing to change. So, you know, who knows what that even means?

• 1:10:13Mayim Bialik?

  It's been such a, such a pleasure to get to talk to you in more depth. Thank you for letting us pick your brain. I highly recommend that people go see you. Can you, can you tell us where you're gonna be?

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  Um, November and December. I don't remember. Can you tell me? Thank you. Let's put it in. Oh, yeah, let's just keep it here. That's very helpful.

• 1:10:38Mayim Bialik?

  You're gonna be in Vegas.

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  I will be in Las Vegas. Oh, please come. I swear to God, it's gonna be a horrible time. Probably for me, not for you. I will do great. I will work real hard, but I'm imagining it's gonna be, oh, half full is probably optimistic. So if you could come by, there's a lot of entertainment choices. But if you're into the introspective silence. I'm a single father while you're in Las Vegas.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  Please come back. Wise Guys, November 3rd and 4th. If you're in LA, please, I do this show with my friend Blair Saki called Fun Voices. We have a bunch of friends. It's a secret lineup. It's 10:30, November 18th, at the Comedy Store in the Belly Room. Other than that, I'll be in San Diego at the American Comedy Club.

• 1:11:33Mayim Bialik?

  Right around Thanksgiving.

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I think now that got moved to week after, December 8th and 9th. So, and then other than that, I'm just hanging around Los Angeles because I'm trying not to tour as much because it's bad for, I'm trying to get my health together.

• 1:11:47Jonathan Cohen?

  Tell people about the podcast.

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  Oh, it's called Getting Better with Ron Funchess. It's a comedic self-help podcast and just like a personal journey of whatever I'm going through. We have guests on occasion, people who I love and enjoy and want to find out how they got to where they are and how they're continuing to get better. And then a lot of times it's just me talking about my life for the last couple of weeks and what I'm doing to get better. Because it's hard to book a podcast sometimes. And then they come by and then they're like, I didn't like what I said. Let's not do that. And I was like, I'm a, you in this very, this is limited time that I have.

• 1:12:30Mayim Bialik?

  Well, it's been so much fun having you. We wish you all the best and hope to see you at a gig.

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:37Mayim Bialik?

  I would love to see you on stage.

• 1:12:39Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 1:12:40Mayim Bialik?

  Live and in person.

• 1:12:41Speaker 02

  It's a pleasure. I always enjoy talking with you. It's been fun meeting you. Wow, what a great combo platter.

• 1:12:47Mayim Bialik?

  That's what we say from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time.