566 Create Amazing Self-Worth and Body Image with Emily Skye

"IF YOU CAN'T ADAPT TO THINGS YOU WILL FAIL OR SUFFER. - EMILY SKYE Do you ever feel like you're in a dark place? Do you struggle and find that you keep comparing yourself to others? You're not alone, and it's natural. Even I find myself comparing my body to other guys on Instagram and feeling like I'm not adding up - and I'm a fit, healthy guy. The key is to shift our mindset. Don't feel like you are competing with them. Look at them for inspiration and motivation. If they can achieve it, you can too. There's a secret that really helps make this shift, and it's critical that we do it in our media flooded world. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 566 with Emily Sky.

• 0:06Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:32Lewis Howes?

  Very excited about our guest today. We have Emily Sky, who is a health and fitness ambassador, qualified personal trainer, fitness model, fat loss and healthy living guru. She has over 11 million people who have tuned to Emily to transform their bodies. They've tuned into her. And she's the skinny insecure depressed girl turned fit, happy and confident. She was put on antidepressants at age 11, and she started modeling when she was 13, because it was her mom's attempt to help her gain self-confidence. Again, she's got over 11 million people on Facebook and over 2 million on Instagram who follow her and

• 1:14Lewis Howes?

  devour her information and her inspiration. And she has got an incredible journey, very powerful. She's not just a fitness personality. She's, she's got so much more that we dive into. And I was actually a little bit surprised on how far she went in this interview. What we talk about are whether body dysmorphia is worse because of social media or not, and how to be responsible about what you show on your Instagram or social media profiles. Also Emily's best tools to get through low points in life, as she's had many, where she talks about and dives in deep. How to balance huge success and stay ambitious for what is to come and not get too comfortable. Guys, this is a powerful one. Make sure to

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  take a screenshot of this right now and share it out on Instagram story, Twitter, Facebook, LewisHowes.com/566 for the full show notes, the full video interview, all the information back on there as well. Want to give a shout out to the fan of the week. This is from Britt Ford. So Britt, thank you so much for this. And Britt says, "Thank you, Lewis, for what you're doing for all of us. I've listened to every single episode and could not be a bigger fan. Being a former Division One athlete turned creative hustler, I resonate with your message and love listening to you during my workday. You're an amazing example to both men and women, and I look forward to continuing to follow you along the journey. I recommend this podcast to not only entrepreneurs,

• 2:40Lewis Howes?

  but to anyone who needs some more positivity in their life." So Britt Ford, you are the fan in the review of the week. Thank you very much for all your support and for listening with this show. And if you guys want a chance to be shouted out on the podcast, for me to call your name out, spread some love back to you, then just go to your podcast app or go to iTunes and type in the School of Greatness podcast and leave a review. You can do it on your phone very easily right now. It's a lot easier to leave reviews and that helps us get the word out to more people. Again, we get over 2 million downloads a month on the School of Greatness podcast and it's all because of you. So, thank you guys very much. I'm super excited about this one, guys. I hope you enjoy this with Emily. She's got

• 3:23Lewis Howes?

  a powerful story and a powerful transformation and she inspires millions all over the world. Without further ado, let me introduce to you the one, the only Emily Sky.

• 3:38Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. We have the legendary Emily Sky in the house. Good to see you.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me. It's good to be here.

• 3:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, from down under in Los Angeles. Very excited. I guess we met where I forgot that we met for a few moments. It was like a brief moment at Fit Expo.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Have day, you.

• 3:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, at an expo years ago, but it's coming back to me the more I'm thinking about it now. So, we met for a moment through Mark Fit, a mutual friend of ours who's a good buddy of mine. And you've just been taken off, you know, since then and since before then. You've been taking off in terms of your career, your notoriety, you're getting on the cover of every magazine in the world. You've got a massive audience, I think of over 12 million, probably 20 million by the time this comes out. Every week it's blowing up. But it wasn't always this way where you had all these followers and people interested in you, isn't that right?

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right. I was quite the opposite of the popular sort of person. So, growing up, I was quite insecure, had no confidence at all. I was depressed, suffered anxiety. I was just lost. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I never fit in with anything. So, when I was at school, I- Never sort of had a good group of friends. I couldn't, I always felt like I was the odd one out, almost like an alien. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with my life. And I remember sitting down in the library and we're going through this questionnaire thing to establish what we suited for a job. And nothing suited, I thought, I can't do this, I can't sit in an office, I can't do this. And I'm different. I want to do something different that's creative, that is really, I guess, embracing and making most of what I am and

• 5:11Speaker 01

  then how I can turn that into something that helps other people as well. So I didn't know how to do it. I knew it was there. I knew I was destined for something, but I was just, I knew it was gonna take a process to get there, but also figure out who I am first, before I could do that.

• 5:25Lewis Howes?

  I feel very similar to that. Did you feel like, were you good at school? Or did you struggle in school as well?

• 5:31Speaker 01

  No, I struggled and that's probably because I didn't go to school much.

• 5:34Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I hated school and I avoided it. I had like ninety days off a year, like.

• 5:39Lewis Howes?

  Ninety days off?

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I didn't go. I hated it.

• 5:43Lewis Howes?

  Was this in like elementary, middle or high school?

• 5:45Speaker 01

  The whole thing. I just, as I said before, I didn't fit in with the, with like a group of people that I felt like I belonged with. But also, I didn't like restriction. I didn't like being told I had to do this and I had to study these subjects that I had no interest in. I wasn't gonna use it in the future. So what was the point? Waste of time.

• 6:02Lewis Howes?

  I literally don't remember very many things that I learned from school.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Me either.

• 6:06Lewis Howes?

  A couple of classes in college that was like on sports marketing were something I was interested in.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 6:11Lewis Howes?

  I was like, okay, I remember a few moments, but everything else, I felt the same way. I just struggled and it's hard to remember and comprehend things and didn't wanna study.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Just not interested, yeah.

• 6:20Lewis Howes?

  It's tough. So you didn't have friends, that many friends at school. You felt like you were an outsider. Why is that? I thought Australia, everyone was nice.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm nice, I think. Yeah, I don't know why exactly. Maybe I didn't conform. Maybe it's because I wasn't cool. I didn't, I wasn't there much. So it's hard to, to bond with people when you're not actually there. And I was very shy as well. So as I said before, I didn't have much confidence. So I was so insecure and even just talking to someone, I mean, even to do this, if I thought I'd do this one day, I would lose it. Like I wouldn't be able to handle it. The thought of it would make me sick because I was just so shy. I couldn't talk to anyone. I couldn't stand up in front of the class. I'd fall over. It was just, I have an idea of where it came from. I think when my dad left when I was two and a half, it sort of created this insecurity of not being good enough and that people always leave me and I'm not lovable and.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  All those negative things. So it's probably stemmed from that, but I've gotten over it and it's

• 7:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  I've used it for good, I guess.

• 7:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's good. What were you doing when you weren't in school then?

• 7:19Speaker 01

  When I wasn't.

• 7:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. If you were taking these days off, were you just at home by yourself? Were you like?

• 7:23Speaker 01

  At home, I'd watch TV. I'd do things that I enjoyed because I loved everything that's creative. So taking photos, drawing, painting, writing, just all those sorts of things that I could, like I had the freedom to do what I wanted to do.

• 7:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:39Lewis Howes?

  So when you were doing this career job thing, like these questionnaires, and you're realizing that there was nothing you wanted or nothing you fit into, what was the vision you had for yourself? Did you see yourself doing what you're doing now and kind of health and wellness and fitness and inspiring people?

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Not, not this at all, because I was always athletic. That was the only thing I was good at at school, really. Athletics, taking photos.

• 8:02Lewis Howes?

  Like twins.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I'd be good at that. I'd get picked for like the footy team at school and things like that, but.

• 8:08Lewis Howes?

  Footy, meaning soccer?

• 8:09Speaker 01

  Football. So it's, I don't know, the ball's shaped like this, not round. It's different here, isn't it?

• 8:13Lewis Howes?

  Rugby, rugby. Yeah, yeah, rugby. Yeah, yeah.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. So the boys would pick me for their team.

• 8:18Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 8:18Speaker 01

  It was the only time that they were interested.

• 8:20Lewis Howes?

  Was that because you were good or why did they pick you?

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Because I was good, yeah.

• 8:23Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. I was a fast runner, so.

• 8:26Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:27Lewis Howes?

  All right, cool.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:29Lewis Howes?

  Um, so that's what you were doing in your off time. And you imagine yourself doing what when you were growing up then?

• 8:34Speaker 01

  I really had no idea what I was gonna do. I thought maybe, maybe I'd do something with sports. Maybe I'd go into athletics or sprinting or something. I was talking to the Australian Institute of Sport back in, I would have been probably 12 or something, about joining a team that would train me ready for like possibly the Olympics down the track. But because I didn't have any self belief, I didn't think I'd be good enough for that either. So I just, I was ruining everything, sabotaging myself before I even had a chance. But I never saw anything like this. We had no social media back then. I didn't even have a computer until I was late teens. And then phones came out when I was, what's 15 or 16, something like that. No social media. I wasn't really into inspiring people or anything like that. Nothing that I'm doing now,

• 9:18Speaker 01

  because how do I inspire someone when I don't even like myself or the way I was living? I knew that I'd do something good and I wanted to do something that would help other people. I didn't know what it was gonna be, but I knew that I would have some sort of following. I don't wanna say fame, but like some sort of people looking to me for something, which I thought was ironic because I was so insecure and so shy.

• 9:40Lewis Howes?

  But you knew that's something you wanted.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  I knew it. I knew that it would, yeah.

• 9:43Lewis Howes?

  Or it was gonna happen.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  And it was weird because over here, I've got this, like the ultimate of what I wanna be and what I wanna do. Didn't, wasn't sure that what it was at that stage. And I'm down here and I thought, how can I be that though? I'm supposed to be there, but I'm here now. And it just, it was a weird feeling. And then I knew that I had to start working on myself and I did reach a point where I did. It was probably early to mid twenties, so it was, I guess, fairly late. And I started working towards making myself the best I could be by getting healthy and fit and being more positive. And having some self-belief, surrounding myself with more positive people. And realizing what actually made me happy in life, which was fitness, obviously, and health and helping people. So that's when I started doing what I'm doing now and, and sort of building that.

• 10:26Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:27Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So how did you get out of this kind of place of being insecure or self-doubting yourself?

• 10:33Speaker 01

  It wasn't overnight.

• 10:34Lewis Howes?

  What were the things you were doing? Were you reading books? Were you connecting with inspiring people? Like what allowed you to see that trigger and actually move into it?

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. It wasn't overnight. It was like, I guess it was a moment where I thought, I'm not happy with myself. I'm not happy with my life. I don't see myself going anywhere. I felt crap. I just didn't feel good at all. And I, I knew that I had to start making those changes, that no one was gonna come along and, and pick me up and do it for me. Cause that's sort of what I thought would happen. Someone would come and help me.

• 11:03Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  No one's coming to save you.

• 11:04Lewis Howes?

  No one rescued you?

• 11:05Speaker 01

  No. In a way, yes, cause I've got my boyfriend of eight years, who I'm having a baby with. Um, he came along and he had a lot to do with it, but I had to take that first step and start making those changes. So it was removing the negative people who were bringing me down in my life. Cause I was doing modeling before, so. It it sounds very odd because I was so insecure, I had no self belief and yet I was doing modeling. Because I saw that as a way of maybe getting some sort of love or praise from other people. So I could feel like I fit in. So I was doing that and that obviously wasn't working because it just made me more and more unhappy.

• 11:41Lewis Howes?

  More insecure, more of that, comparing yourself to every other model.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Very competitive and very unhealthy for me.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  I'm not saying for everyone. I mean, some people love it, but for me it just wasn't good.

• 11:50Lewis Howes?

  And when you were modeling, were you working out every day? Was it more like starving yourself and trying to fit in?

• 11:55Speaker 01

  I I didn't know I was starving myself, but now I look back and I know I definitely wasn't eating enough. And I was doing like long cardio sessions, just trying to get as skinny as I could be. And then I realized that wasn't healthy, so.

• 12:08Lewis Howes?

  Right. So how long were you modeling for?

• 12:11Speaker 01

  About ten, ten or twelve years, but towards the end of that, that's when I transitioned into fitness. So I started getting healthier and fitter. I started building muscle. I wanted to have muscle and be strong. And I was really passionate about that, so.

• 12:23Lewis Howes?

  Why did you want muscle?

• 12:24Speaker 01

  I guess I saw women that had muscle and back then it wasn't like it is now on Instagram. Every second person's a fitness model, or so they say. There's only a few people. There's only like some people doing fitness competitions and the women were quite muscular, but they weren't really someone that the everyday person could look to and and think, I want to be like that. It was almost too much, but I liked it. I appreciate it. I love, I love muscle on a woman. I think it's empowering. So I saw the empowering side of it. I saw magazines with these fit women on it with muscle and I thought, I want to be like that. And whether they're happy or not, that's another thing. It doesn't matter. It did the job for me. So I used that to motivate me and and help me make changes. So I went out and started lifting, lifting weights, learned as much as I could about it.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  And um then I started doing fitness modeling. So I was doing like ad, um, infomercials.

• 13:15Lewis Howes?

  And going into fitness modeling.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it was hard because I was skinny before and doing like the normal sort of modeling, traditional modeling. Yeah. And then I started gaining muscle and they were saying to me, um, my agency that I was with or different companies that I was working with, that I was too muscly now and it was too much, even though I wasn't, I was a lot smaller than I am now. I was still tiny, but it was too much and they didn't like it. So they started photoshopping my photos, getting my abs out, bringing in like the shoulders that I'd built. So I thought this is really shit. I just, I didn't like that, that they were changing me. Finally, I was happy with myself and I felt amazing. And yet they were trying to change me and bring me back to what I was before.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  So then I thought, I'm gonna have to say goodbye to this. I can't do modeling because I can't be, not that it was making me happy anyway, but I don't wanna be that. That's not who I am anymore. And I loved fitness and I wanted to make fitness cool and that everyone wanted, I wanted everyone to have what I had in their own way. And that's when I went out and told all my friends and family, you need to start exercising, eating healthy food. It's amazing. I felt incredible. And then I thought, how can I do this on a bigger scale? And that's when Instagram, Facebook and all the different social media platforms.

• 14:27Lewis Howes?

  When was this? So you started kind of putting this information out online?

• 14:30Speaker 01

  Uh, well, I started on a, it was called Blogspot.

• 14:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  So I was blogging what I was doing.

• 14:36Lewis Howes?

  When was that?

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, oh, probably about seven and a half years ago, eight years ago.

• 14:43Lewis Howes?

  Two thousand ten, two thousand nine.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  About that, yeah.

• 14:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was around the time I met my partner, Declan. So that's when I started getting really, really fit and healthy and then started blogging it and realized that's what I wanted to do with my life.

• 14:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, we're just kind of documenting your process, your transformation.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  So I was putting, I was doing competitions back then, so up on stage flexing, all the rest of it. That's a whole nother story as well. I find it too intense for me. I still enjoyed it. I learnt a lot from it. So I was documenting the competition, how I went about it, the diet and training that I was doing and then how I came out of it. Cause I actually, after the first competition I did, because I was so restrictive, I put on a lot of weight within like a week and a half after. So I realized how unhealthy it was. So I documented that as well. Then Facebook and Instagram. I think I was on Facebook first. Instagram, I was a little bit late getting on, but I started using those platforms as well to build it up and really went hard trying to build the audience and to reach as many people as I could.

• 15:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  To spread a positive message and spread information.

• 15:46Lewis Howes?

  When did you realize that it started to kind of take off? Like the things you were doing, that people were clinging on to it and they were excited about it and getting results in their life?

• 15:54Speaker 01

  It was years ago. So before I started my actual program that I've got, it's a diet and training program. I noticed that people really liked the fitness content that I was putting up, which went into more content around mind health, mental health. Um.

• 16:11Lewis Howes?

  You like that the most?

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm I'm actually more into all the mind, mind side of things than, yeah, it all starts with with your mind.

• 16:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Became quite popular and it really started taking off online. I think a lot of other people sort of jumped on and were doing the whole fitness thing and it went crazy. But I feel like I got in at a good time because it was before it was like popular and it was cool to do. People loved what I was doing and the content I was putting out there. So it grew from there and I realised that they really did like the workout videos that I was doing. I was putting one up every day of a free workout and no one else, I'd never seen anyone do it before, a video with instructions on it.

• 16:48Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:48Lewis Howes?

  On Facebook or?

• 16:49Speaker 01

  Facebook and Instagram and it was like short, I had to speed it up because it was like fifteen seconds you had on Instagram. Yeah, and so people started tagging people in on Instagram and then sharing it on Facebook and it took off. I I think in a week I built a million followers on on Facebook just from videos going viral. Yeah. Yeah.

• 17:08Lewis Howes?

  Don't you wish it was still that easy to grow that fast?

• 17:10Speaker 01

  I think about it all the time.

• 17:12Lewis Howes?

  If I only would have done more than, you know what I mean?

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Exactly. Make the most of it.

• 17:16Lewis Howes?

  Gosh, Instagram has taken over our lives, hasn't it?

• 17:19Speaker 01

  In a way, yeah.

• 17:19Lewis Howes?

  It's crazy, right? Talk to me about, you think the people have a more struggle now with body dysmorphia because of Instagram, Facebook or whatever? Or, you know, is it easier now because there's more tools that are available for us to overcome? As opposed to maybe when you were thirteen and there wasn't as much access to this information?

• 17:38Speaker 01

  There's definitely a bit of both. I think there were always issues, it's just we weren't aware of the issues and now people, they have a voice, they're able to be heard now. So I think on one hand, we've got Instagram with everyone on there who's like living the perfect life, putting their perfect photos on there. Betraying that and giving people the idea of they can have that too. And then people never feeling good enough. So like in particular, young girls looking at this content, thinking that's life goals. I want to be like that. I want a body like that or a family like that or clothes like that, whatever it is.

• 18:09Lewis Howes?

  Relationship like that, yeah.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, relationship goals, that's another one I've talked about before. But they compare themselves and they always feel like they're not good enough. And I struggled with not being good enough for many years. But I didn't have Instagram and and Facebook back then, but it was in magazines and on movies and people at school that you compare yourself to. So. I guess it's similar, but obviously there's so much more now on Instagram. But I just hope that people realise they can reach out and talk to people. And if people do, just, I guess, talk more, talk to each other, then they can realise they can help people. But I think that if we use Instagram for good, like what I'm trying to do by educating people and being real with people, that you've got like, it's sort of balanced.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  So you've got the unhealthy people out there and then people like me, hopefully, that come along and can help people who, maybe they didn't have that before. If there was no Instagram, they wouldn't have been able to have that chance.

• 19:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What do you think we can do with Instagram and Facebook to regain a healthy sense of our bodies again, you know, without having to compare to these things? What can we do since we're scrolling all day and looking at this?

• 19:18Speaker 01

  You've got to be responsible for what you're consuming, I think. It's hard to do because young kids aren't, they like looking at this sort of stuff. They love seeing the perfect, they love that idea. It's almost like a romantic movie. It's romanticising it. I think if people can take more responsibility and if something's making them feel bad, if a particular person's making them feel bad about themselves and maybe question themselves, why, why are they? And do I need to have them on there? Can I get rid of them?

• 19:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  But that's hard. I mean, you can only say to people, be responsible, don't do this. But they're still going to do it because it's an addiction, isn't it? People love it.

• 19:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What about yourself in terms of, you know, you've got this massive audience? You have all these people that look up to you that are inspired by your mindset, your body, your look, your muscles, whatever it is. Do you ever go through times of still being insecure or comparing yourself? Even though you have this.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it never just.

• 20:13Lewis Howes?

  Everyone wants to be you, but you're like, well, I'm still not good enough.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  I don't think anyone feels a hundred percent confident all the time in themselves. I think people always have times where they, you know, have a bad day or they don't feel like they're as good as they can be. And I have those times. It's nowhere near what it used to be. But I think now I have the tools to be able to get through it and I know how to. I'm aware of when I'm feeling down. Why am I feeling this way? What's contributing to that? What can I remove to help myself move on and and get past this? So being really, I guess, self-aware.

• 20:44Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think you get insecure at times? What are the reasons?

• 20:48Speaker 01

  Um, I don't know whether it's because I used to be a very insecure person, so that it's always sort of, I'm always fighting it. It's always sort of coming back. I think that that's a huge thing of getting on top of that. And knowing that that's the type of person that I used to be as well, not going back to that. But there's a lot, like, social media is insane. It's competitive. There's a lot of people out there posting things that could, I could look at and then go, oh, I'm not this, or I'm not that. Or, for instance, I'm pregnant at the moment, obviously, and I have gained fat.

• 21:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh, are you?

• 21:20Speaker 01

  And cellul- yeah, that's what this lump is here. But I've gained fat and cellulite and changed, and I've lost a lot of muscle.

• 21:27Lewis Howes?

  Or whatever, yeah.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, all these things are happening, which I am a hundred percent embracing. I'm happy with. But I could look at these other people who are online, who are fit and pregnant, and they look amazing. And they're on their own journey. That's a thing. Everyone's on their own journey and shouldn't compare. But I could look at them and think, well, how come this person's got abs and she's a few months ahead of me and and yet her abs are there and she's tiny and I've got all this cellulite and stuff going on. I could look at that and and that could affect me, but I don't. I think I'm at a really good place now where I'm so happy and my baby's obviously most important to me, so I don't let those insignificant things affect me.

• 22:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's good. What are some of the tools that you use when you're looking to overcome that, you know, insecurity or fear or comparison? Because I think this will be helpful for a lot of people who are constantly comparing.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:14Lewis Howes?

  To see someone like you with a massive audience, great body, great image, great everything on how you do that.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  I think you've got to work out what makes you happy in life and what's most important to you. Is it really? Trying to be perfect and worrying about what everyone else thinks of you, especially on social media. If you put up a photo and people say, oh, you look great here, does that really make you happy? Temporarily, yeah, you feel good, your ego is getting fed, but long term, I don't think it really does. And I think you need to get to a point where you do know what makes you happy and you're aware of that. And you, you don't rely on that to keep feeding the happiness. Yeah, but when I feel down, and I've talked about this before with my followers, but when I get in my sort of down moments, and I haven't had one for a while, which is a good thing.

• 23:00Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  But um, last year I had a bit of a time. I think I'd been travelling a lot and I just got really run down and everything just went to shit pretty much.

• 23:07Lewis Howes?

  It's hard to keep your body healthy and.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  And then your mind goes and, oh, I was feeling crappy. I wasn't training, which is a big thing. Getting moving is incredible, does incredible things for you. The endorphins that you get from it are really, it's a real thing.

• 23:21Lewis Howes?

  It is a real thing.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I hadn't been doing it for a while and I just, I didn't want to, I wasn't motivated. And I thought, how can I?

• 23:27Lewis Howes?

  To move, to work out.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, how can I get myself back there? I know that that's what changed my life. And yet here I am stuck feeling shitty again. I thought, okay, well, I don't want to go to the gym because I'm not motivated to do that. How can I get myself there? So I put music on and danced around the house and I started learning hip hop. I was putting tutorials on the big screen on YouTube and dancing around the lounge room like an idiot. I was no good at it, but it's not the point.

• 23:51Lewis Howes?

  That's right.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  I felt good. I felt happy and the music lifted my mood and I started getting outdoors, outside in the, in the sun and fresh air. And just finding that balance again and I guess grounding myself in a way. So I could start to feel like, okay, what is it? What is it that it makes me happy again? What is it that gives me life, that makes me jump out of bed every day? So I got back there and then I'm back on track again. So you've got to find what, what it is that does it for you. Maybe it's reading a book, maybe it's walking, I don't know, ice skating, rock climbing, whatever. Do something that makes you feel good again, but you've got to find your creative. And my creative for me is training and getting outdoors and talking to people and helping people.

• 24:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's probably not sticking on your phone, looking on Instagram all day.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  No, that's, that can be quite poisonous.

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you've got to set boundaries for yourself and restrictions.

• 24:39Lewis Howes?

  When you're following and your accounts is your business and your brand. And if something isn't working or isn't getting the results you want, how do you deal with that? Inner voice when like, okay, I put a post out here. Normally I get a certain amount of real results where traction and comments, whatever, sales, and I didn't get that. How do you handle that inner critic?

• 25:01Speaker 01

  It's hard because it is me. I'm the brand. It's not someone else. It's so it's hard not to take it personally. And I think you invest so much. I invest a lot into my business and what I do, and I love it. But I do take things personally because it is me. And I know it's a hard thing to do. So I've got to sort of sit back and go, okay, well, there's a lot of things coming into play here with algorithms and things. What could be the reason? Is it really my content that people aren't liking? Or is it because they're not actually seeing it? Because Instagram's done an update and people who follow me aren't actually seeing the post. So you've got to like step back and realize what's going on here. So it is hard. It's hard to sort of monitor what's working and what's not, and whether it is you or not. But you can test. And there's a lot of things you can

• 25:46Speaker 01

  do to work out what actually works and what people want to see and what you're following really likes. But yeah, you've really got to think about, maybe it is just the algorithm.

• 25:54Lewis Howes?

  And how do you stay grounded? Something's taking off and doing really well. You're on the cover of every magazine. You're getting brand deals. You're getting all this stuff. It is all working for you. How do you stay grounded and also stay happy with it being enough?

• 26:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:08Lewis Howes?

  Sometimes we'll get these big marks and then we're like, oh, but it could be more. It could be this. It is not enough. So how do you stay grounded in those times?

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think because it's taken a long time to get where I am. And you could say that I started working on it when I was a teenager, because that's when I started with modeling. And I use a lot of, a lot of the things I learned with modeling now. So I do a lot of things myself. I take my own photos on a tripod with a timer. I edit my own videos. I write my own content. I reply to people online. I do a lot of stuff myself, which I learned when I was doing modeling. So I think in life, there's a lot of things that you can use right now. I mean, down the track, when you find what it is you want to do. Because I've gone through that and I've worked really hard. It hasn't just happened overnight. I wasn't just handed it. I have a lot of appreciation for what I've got. One thing I do struggle with is really, really appreciating

• 26:58Speaker 01

  and being grateful for what it is that I've got right now and it being enough. Because I always want to be, I want to be the best. I want to reach more people, do so much stuff. And I sometimes get frustrated because I know that I'm not quite where I want to be yet. And it's a really hard balance to really appreciate and look back on what you've done and go, yeah, I've killed this. I'm doing well. And still go, oh, there's still more I wanna do. It's quite hard and that's something I do struggle with a lot. And when I do say get a magazine cover, I've got to really make an effort to go, I achieved this because I deserve it. It's difficult and I think I get a bit mixed up with, I don't want to sort of lose who I am through the whole thing and I don't want people to think.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  And it's funny because I always say, don't worry about what people think, but I do, I care what people think because I'm trying, I'm doing this for a reason. I wanna help people. So I have to care what they think, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this. I wanna always stay, I guess, relatable to people and never seem like I'm full of myself, which I'm not and I'm far from it actually.

• 28:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  So yeah, it's finding that balance between being proud of yourself, looking at what you've achieved, where you've come from. And then still being able to say, yeah, but I've still got room to grow and more to do and more goals to do.

• 28:12Lewis Howes?

  Who's been the most influential person in your life growing up?

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Growing up? When I was younger, I didn't really have anyone that I sort of looked up to. As I've, I don't know if I'm still growing up now in my 30s.

• 28:24Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  There's a few people. One's Brené Brown, who's, she's a researcher, shame researcher and.

• 28:31Lewis Howes?

  We just interviewed her a couple of years ago.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  She's incredible. So.

• 28:34Lewis Howes?

  She's amazing.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. So she's been a big part of getting me through like tough times and things too. Yeah. Incredible woman. So I look to her and also Dwayne Johnson, who I met last year, I think it was. He's been a bit of a mentor for me. Yeah. Cause obviously like he's absolutely killing it at everything.

• 28:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. And he's very proud of you.

• 28:53Lewis Howes?

  Has he been guiding you in your career or helping with some of this stuff?

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. So if I've ever got, you know, something I'm, I'm struggling with or I don't know how to deal with something, he's a great person to ask his opinion on.

• 29:02Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:03Lewis Howes?

  Very cool. What about your, your parents? You said your dad left when you were young, right?

• 29:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, two and a half.

• 29:08Lewis Howes?

  Do you have a relationship with him or is he completely out of the picture?

• 29:10Speaker 01

  How long have you got? Um, no, I don't have a relationship with him. I met him a few years ago for the first time.

• 29:17Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Since I was, I think six was the last time I saw him.

• 29:19Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  He was sort of in and out of my sister and my life for years and then it was unhealthy for us for him to come in like six, every six months. See us and then I just struggled with that. So, um, he decided not to have anything to do with us. He went and did whatever he did with his life, not much. And then, um, I, I kept in contact with my, my grandparents, which is his parents. They always said, when are you gonna meet your father? You're gonna meet your father. I never, to be honest, wanted to because I, I was hurt by him leaving and it really was hard for me to get over, which I did get over. Why bring that up? You know, he's had no interest in me all these years. So, but I met him because I felt like I had to.

• 29:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  My sister and I went and met him a few years ago and then.

• 30:01Lewis Howes?

  Does he live in Australia or where's he?

• 30:02Speaker 01

  He's in New Zealand now. So, yeah. So that's sort of, he had opportunities to keep the, the relationship going or build a relationship and he didn't, he didn't do it. So what do you do, hey? I don't think he deserves it, to be honest.

• 30:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Did you guys go to New Zealand and see him?

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, yes, I've seen him. I think I went on my own this trip, but we met him in Australia in Sydney and then I went over to see my grandparents over there and saw him there as well.

• 30:26Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Years ago, yeah.

• 30:28Lewis Howes?

  What opened up for you during that time?

• 30:31Speaker 01

  Nothing.

• 30:31Lewis Howes?

  Nothing?

• 30:32Speaker 01

  No. I, I remembered I met him and I thought, oh yeah, he's a nice guy. And then we have a few things in common and I can see I get these traits from him, but it's, I don't see him as a father at all.

• 30:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:44Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest lesson you learned from him? Even being absent the whole time was.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  What not to be?

• 30:49Lewis Howes?

  What's that?

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Because there's some things, I see some things that he is or was and he's a musician. So he didn't actually want a family anymore. So he had married my mum, had me and my sister and then realised that's not what he wants. He actually came home when my sister was born. My mum brought her home and he said, I'm leaving. It's not what I want. And she said, I've just had your, your child, your second child. What are you doing? And he said, no, I wanna be a musician and wanna travel and be a famous, whatever. So, um, he made that choice and, uh, he didn't succeed at it. Yeah. That was a question again.

• 31:28Lewis Howes?

  Biggest lesson you've learned.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  Biggest lesson, not to be like that. So family comes first and it's most important. I'm about to have my first baby and I almost gave away the sex then, but my baby will be number one priority. Don't you try and get it out of me.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, but everything else is secondary to that. It's great to have career goals or whatever, but it's people in your life that are most important and you've really got to invest the most time and energy into that, I think.

• 31:59Lewis Howes?

  How was developing a relationship as your partner, you're not married, correct? Is it?

• 32:03Speaker 01

  No, we, we need to get him to put a ring on it, I think.

• 32:08Lewis Howes?

  You, you want a ring on it, but he's not ready yet.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  No, he does. It's just, we haven't had time. I know it's an excuse, isn't it?

• 32:17Lewis Howes?

  I get it. It's all good.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  I'm having his baby now, right?

• 32:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  It's time for a ring.

• 32:22Lewis Howes?

  How is having a family, supporting your dream and vision or not supporting it? Do you feel like it's going to help your vision or you feel like it's shifting visions to have a family now?

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Something I've learnt over the years is you've got to adapt to things. And if you can't adapt well, then that's when I think you fail or you suffer. And it's hard for humans to adapt. I think we get comfortable, but I will adapt to this. And um, I think that having a baby will make me probably more relatable to people.

• 32:53Lewis Howes?

  A lot of moms and yeah.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  There's a new market there because I do have a big following of mums already. So then they're like, yes, finally, you like me sort of thing. So I think it, it'd be good. And also to show how I become a mum and go through that. And also getting back in shape, my priority won't be to get back in shape. It's going to be my baby, but of course I love health and fitness and I want to be healthy and fit for my child and for me and my family. So I will get back there, but it's not like.

• 33:22Lewis Howes?

  You're not trying to get on a cover of a magazine right away and yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Well, I've got to, I might have something.

• 33:27Lewis Howes?

  You're not trying to get a six pack right away.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  No, that's it. It's not about that. It's about how I feel and being the best for my family.

• 33:33Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. What about biggest lesson from your mom? What are the biggest things she taught you?

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Um. She taught a lot of values and how to treat people. There's a few things. I mean, I don't want to talk about too much negative stuff because I love my mom to bits. But she's taught me some things. She's a bit of a doormat and I think she'd be comfortable with me saying that, but yeah, she's a doormat. She's a people pleaser, always wants to make sure everyone else is happy and.

• 33:56Lewis Howes?

  First before her.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Before her, never worries about herself. And I used to be a lot like that. But I work not to be and not to say that I don't care about other people and I don't put other people first, but I don't think you can really truly help other people unless you help yourself first. And not if you've got to be a doormat and, and you're unhappy and you're suffering. I really don't think that benefits anyone. So that's probably one of the biggest lessons, but she treats everyone very well. And that's something I've learned as well. So that's positive. She's an amazing woman, raising my sister and, and me all those years on her own. Yeah.

• 34:30Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. So what is the dream for you then? After the baby comes, what's the?

• 34:35Speaker 01

  I'm living my dream.

• 34:36Lewis Howes?

  You've, you've got this massive brand and business. You've helped, you know, tens of thousands of people through your programs, your products.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  It's hard to say what my.

• 34:45Lewis Howes?

  Do you have a clear vision or dream?

• 34:47Speaker 01

  I've had clear visions along the way and there's things I've sort of envisioned and it's manifested into something and it's actually come true and it's crazy. I look back and go, but I actually envisioned this and now I've got it. I think I've heard you talk about this before. It's real and I've done that over the years and I, I'm very happy with what I have achieved. I always talk about, I sometimes can't really understand and appreciate and believe that I deserve it, but I have achieved a lot. And there's so much more I do want to achieve, but it really goes back to how can I reach more people? How can I have a positive impact on them? So it's just growing my business, growing fit family that I've built to be bigger.

• 35:26Lewis Howes?

  Why do you want to reach so many people?

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Because I was never happy before I found what makes me happy, which is health and fitness. It's weird what came first. I love helping people and love seeing. How much they can change, going from being unhappy to finding what makes them happy. And it's different for everyone, obviously, but for instance, to give you an example, I had a girl at, I think I was at the fitness expo that I met you at that we can't remember, but anyway.

• 35:52Lewis Howes?

  You know what, you thought it was Ohio, it's that way.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  We met thousands of people, so. But a girl came up, it was actually her boyfriend came up to me and she said, my girlfriend's here and she wants to meet you, but she's so nervous and shy and she's, she's suffering, she's got depression really bad and she's not wanting to live anymore. Wow. And I just thought, oh, this is like outside of what I do, but I can't turn her away. Like she's, I need to, I need to meet her and sit with her. So I found her just sitting on the ground and she was crying and just freaking out because she wanted to meet me, but she's scared to. So I sat down with her and I told her some of my story and what I've been through with hating myself and my life and not knowing what to do with it and blah, blah, blah. So she sort of opened up and she was then in happy tears and thanked me for it.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  And she ended up messaging me after saying that I made a huge impact on her and she was able to make changes. And that just, that's like one of the main reasons why I do this, because it, it's not all the, yeah, it's great to have followers and you know, all that sort of stuff that might be attached to ego, but this is really what matters, reaching people in some way. And I think if we're vulnerable and authentic, then it makes it easier to be able to reach them because they realise, hey, I'm not alone, or here's this person over here who's going through what I am going through or who has gone through it. Because a lot of people might look at someone like me and think, oh, you know, she has everything and has a perfect life or whatever, even though I put out a lot of content to dispel that, but it's good to sort of show that, hey, I've achieved all this

• 37:20Speaker 01

  and I am happy and I've achieved so much within myself. My career's been a great achievement, but what I've achieved personally is far outweighs that. So I love that young girls like that can actually see me and then go, oh, there's hope for me.

• 37:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  I can do this.

• 37:34Lewis Howes?

  Did you ever have a dark place where you felt like you didn't want to be here anymore?

• 37:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:38Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, when I was a teenager.

• 37:40Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was, I was probably about maybe eighteen. And I had a, not a, not a nice boyfriend. I had a few pretty terrible relationships. One of those, I did get an AVO out on restraining order. On a guy who was very abusive and tried to stab me with a knife.

• 37:57Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 37:58Speaker 01

  Smash plates over my head and tried to throw me off a balcony. But he's not the guy that actually um.

• 38:02Lewis Howes?

  Holy cow.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  I I had one before him. Yeah, I used to get them out of the cup and smash them at me.

• 38:08Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  Horrible.

• 38:10Lewis Howes?

  Did you live with him or was that just, you were living at home still or how was that?

• 38:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, so back in my dark, I've sort of changed topic here, but in my darkest spot was when I was about eighteen, I was with this boyfriend that was no good, not not nice, I'd keep it at that. I didn't want to live anymore, so I actually got tablets and I took a heap of tablets trying to end it. And then I, something happened and I I said, no, this isn't what I want. I remember feeling like I was sinking through the bed and it was all over and I, no, I want to live. And I made that choice. And it took years to sort of work out what actually can make me happy and everything else, but I did make the choice to, I choose life. Anyway, so years later, I I meet this other guy.

• 38:51Lewis Howes?

  That was when you were with another boyfriend.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I had a good run.

• 38:55Lewis Howes?

  Were you living with him or were you still at home?

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Not not the one when I was eighteen, I was still at home.

• 38:59Lewis Howes?

  And before you go on to the next horrible boyfriend, did what what happened, you took these pills, did you like go to the hospital and pump them out, did you throw up?

• 39:07Speaker 01

  I threw up.

• 39:08Lewis Howes?

  You threw up?

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I threw up, yeah. It was, I was.

• 39:10Lewis Howes?

  You're like, I want to live.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  It was very blurry, I sort of crawled out.

• 39:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, okay.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  I think I went to the laundry, so I didn't wake my mum up.

• 39:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Vomited and yeah, it's pretty crazy to think that I was that person. Yeah.

• 39:22Lewis Howes?

  And so the the next horrible relationship.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, then I was living with him and he was the one that was very physically abusive.

• 39:28Lewis Howes?

  Smashing plates on your head.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, strangling, he'd lay on top of me and strangle me.

• 39:32Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, my neck. And I remember looking into his eyes and they were just evil eyes, just, oh, horrible. So um.

• 39:39Lewis Howes?

  And he tried to stab you with a knife?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Yep, he chased me around. I got out, I was living in an apartment. I got out the front door and ran down the corridor and he chased me. Trying to stab me with the knife and I was, I got to this lift, cause it was a main lift and there was another one around the corner. It was like a slow lift. So I knew I wouldn't be able to get to the first one in time, cause he'd get me. So I sprinted around to the other one. Got there, opened the doors, doors open. I can hear him coming. It was like a movie.

• 40:06Lewis Howes?

  The door shut like right when he was coming in there?

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Boom, hand goes through, stops it.

• 40:10Lewis Howes?

  His hand stopped it?

• 40:11Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 40:12Lewis Howes?

  And then what?

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Pools dragged me out by my, I think it was my hair.

• 40:15Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  And he's pulling me along and then the security saw it on the.

• 40:20Lewis Howes?

  Cameras?

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Footage, yeah. They yelled out something. I don't remember much. It's all sort of blurry, but they stopped him. Cause I thought it's all over.

• 40:28Lewis Howes?

  You were screaming, I'm assuming.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I was.

• 40:31Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  I had to plan my escape because I moved away. I was actually in Queensland at that stage and I had family in Sydney. So it's actually a plane trip. It's like an hour, hour on the plane. So.

• 40:42Lewis Howes?

  So the cop, the, the security came and broke it up or something?

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, police came.

• 40:46Lewis Howes?

  You were able to get away?

• 40:47Speaker 01

  He did the whole, um, I wanna change and I can only do it if you, you're here with me to support me and I, I love you and I'll change for you and do all the crying and the, it's like the beaten housewife syndrome where you just keep going back. And because I wanted him to get better and help him, I kept going back and.

• 41:04Lewis Howes?

  So this, is this point where you said enough is enough and you didn't go back?

• 41:07Speaker 01

  I knew that I couldn't go back, but I was stuck up there. So I had to plan how I was gonna escape.

• 41:11Lewis Howes?

  Stayed for a while.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  So I said to him, cause what he would do is he'd say, he'd manipulate me and, and say, if you leave, I'll hurt your family.

• 41:19Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  I'll kill your family.

• 41:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  He's a, he was a nutter.

• 41:23Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Absolute nutter. So I planned, I said that I wanted to move back so I could be close to where my family was. So we moved back and then, waited till he went out one night, cause he'd go out and cheat on me all the time. Yeah, horrible. Got a friend to help me with all my stuff and I took as much as I could and escaped. And then he turned up at my mum's house. Tried to drive his car through the garage crazy. But he was yelling at, I'm gonna drive the car through the garage and he's revving it and trying to like drive it through to break in so he could get to me. And he's pacing around the house, knocking on the, banging on the windows and doors.

• 41:55Lewis Howes?

  We have very similar experiences with exes.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Really? Did you have a nutter too?

• 41:59Lewis Howes?

  I had a few interesting ones, yes. Where they were at my house with a knife, threatening to do things, yes.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  I wonder what it is that attracts these people.

• 42:08Lewis Howes?

  We're just crazy, I guess, I don't know.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  I think you learn from it though, don't you?

• 42:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, definitely.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  I learn a lot from those experiences and I've been able to help other people with similar things.

• 42:15Lewis Howes?

  So you got out?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:17Lewis Howes?

  You left?

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:18Lewis Howes?

  Moved?

• 42:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it took a year to get the rest of my stuff back. He had my passport.

• 42:23Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  He wouldn't give it back. But it was a small sacrifice to make.

• 42:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Wow.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:29Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Was the next guy just as bad or did you start finally?

• 42:33Speaker 01

  No, the next guy was quite good, actually. We're still friends today. Had a great relationship, just wasn't like in love sort of thing. And then I met Declan when I was twenty four, so I'm thirty two now, had to think about that. Yeah, met him and he's my best friend, he's my business partner, he's, he's everything, he's, he's amazing, helped me through a lot of the stuff and showed me what a, how a man should really treat someone or a partner should treat their, their love.

• 42:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's great.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:01Lewis Howes?

  Amazing stories.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Good people do exist out there, you're just gonna go through the bad ones sometimes.

• 43:05Lewis Howes?

  Right, they do. Wow, I wanna transition into.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  That got intense, didn't it?

• 43:10Lewis Howes?

  It was amazing, yeah. I wanna transition into a healthy body image in men. We talked about this with women, but I feel like there's a lot of challenges with men as well, with the distraction comparison, you know, I see shredded, ripped, strong dudes on Instagram all the time. Not saying that I'm comparing and like not happy with my body, but I know there's a lot of this happening. How can men, I guess, have a more healthy relationship with their body image? For themselves and how can they support other men in the process as well?

• 43:39Speaker 01

  I think it's hard because women are a little bit more vocal about it, I think perhaps. So they tend to gravitate towards each other and create these groups of communities.

• 43:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, there's no support groups of men being like.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  I think men feel like it's not like a masculine thing. It's they isolate themselves and they don't know that they can reach out because that makes them look like they're weak. And they have this fear, I'm just not talking from experience because I'm not a man, obviously. But I think they have a fear of de-masculinated or a weakness. So it's the opposite. I think if you reach out and you're actually talking about these issues that you have and talking to each other, then I think that's a sign of strength and it's a good thing. But I really do think talk about it more and talk to your mate, like find someone who's, who is a good, genuine friend and talk to them. My boyfriend actually does this a lot with people. He's got a lot of friends that sort of ask him for help and he's become almost a bit like a counselor

• 44:36Speaker 01

  because he loves being able to help people like that. But yeah, I think a lot of people, a lot of men don't. They just have to keep it all to themselves and think they've got to stay strong.

• 44:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, talking more, I think, helps with everything.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Got to talk.

• 44:49Lewis Howes?

  Talking in general.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  People need people.

• 44:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  We've got to talk to each other more.

• 44:53Lewis Howes?

  So true. What's the thing that you're most proud of that you've done that maybe people do know or don't know about you?

• 45:00Speaker 01

  I think the most proud is my personal journey and how I've come to a place where I do actually accept myself. And I'm not chasing this idea of trying to fit in with people. It's more about having a sense of belonging and only having a few select people around me that love me and realizing what's real and what's not, or who's real and who's not. But definitely being able to say I love myself, that's a huge thing for me. Because I hate, I despise myself before, but I actually love myself now and I make, I invest a lot into myself because I think I am worth it now. And I think that's something that everyone needs to find and hopefully everyone does find. But that's definitely my biggest achievement.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  It outweighs anything else career wise or anything.

• 45:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's great. I think it's a great achievement, yeah. If we're not happy with ourselves, the rest of the stuff doesn't matter.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 45:52Lewis Howes?

  What's a question you wish more people would ask you that they don't ask?

• 45:56Speaker 01

  You've actually asked you. I think more towards mental health. Is probably something I I'm more interested in.

• 46:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's something you'd do then to empower your mental health or to strengthen your mental health on a daily basis, either in the morning or afternoon or whenever?

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Breathing. Sounds simple, but just stopping to take time to breathe into your diaphragm so that you can think and have a clear sort of mind and so you can work out where you're at and where you want to go from there. And you get so caught up in life being so busy that you sort of forget what's happening. Well, I do anyway. I get really out of control and don't know. I just feel stressed out. It's just so much to to sort of handle. And you've got to stop sometimes, take deep breaths and then relax, spend time on yourself. And even if it's only 10 minutes a day, and I know a lot of people talk about this, but doing something that is like you're creative or you're you're time out, that is just time

• 46:57Speaker 01

  to yourself, sit down reading a book or sit down doing nothing, turn your phone off and just really try to, what's the word, like get get back to like your balance.

• 47:07Lewis Howes?

  Get grounded, yeah.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, grounded. So for me, even just walking along the beach, I'm lucky enough to live near the beach and getting my shoes off and just putting my bare feet in the sand, getting in the water. I just, I feel like you're almost earthing yourself, like you're downloading all the crap and the negative stuff and then you're recharging yourself with positive.

• 47:26Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  Energy from the earth.

• 47:27Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Not to get too hippie or anything, but.

• 47:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it works.

• 47:31Lewis Howes?

  We're in L A. It's okay. You can speak like that here.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:33Lewis Howes?

  Very cool. Anything else on mental health besides breathing?

• 47:36Speaker 01

  Mental health, yeah, talking more like I've I've talked about before, but talking more to people, not being afraid of opening up and and being vulnerable with the right people, of course. Sometimes if you're vulnerable with the wrong people, it can really turn worse for you. It's a whole other topic, isn't it? Realizing that you're not alone and that there's there's so many people out there that are more alike than you think. And if we did just talk about it more than we could get through it more and have that support.

• 48:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  Support each other.

• 48:07Lewis Howes?

  Very cool.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:08Lewis Howes?

  Very cool. Final few questions for you. Or is there any questions you have for me first before we bring you to the final?

• 48:13Speaker 01

  When are you coming to Australia?

• 48:15Lewis Howes?

  I've been asked this a lot lately. I have a big audience there actually, so I need to get over there sometime. Maybe around my next book.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:21Lewis Howes?

  This book launch, I might try to come at the end of this year. So we'll figure it out. But you're in the Gold Coast, right?

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's beautiful there.

• 48:26Lewis Howes?

  How far is that?

• 48:26Speaker 01

  Uh, Brisbane's the main city.

• 48:28Lewis Howes?

  Is that where you are?

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Near there. I'm on the Gold Coast, but Brisbane's about an hour, hour and twenty minutes drive.

• 48:33Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  From there. So you can actually fly into Brisbane.

• 48:35Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Trying to get you over there.

• 48:37Lewis Howes?

  So if I go to Brisbane, you'll come? We'll hang out in Brisbane?

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 48:40Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 48:41Lewis Howes?

  Alright, cool. Yeah, maybe I'll do a tour. I'll connect with you guys after sometime. This is called the three truths. So you've put out a lot of content over the years. You've got a lot of programs, you know, videos, images, everything. But let's say this is your last day many years from now, and all the stuff you've ever put out has been erased. All your content, images, everything's gone. Programs, gone. But you have a piece of paper and a pen to write down the three things you know to be true about all of your experiences in life. The three lessons that you would share with the world. And these would be the only things that people would have to remember you by. What would you say are your three truths?

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Be a hundred percent you and don't be afraid to be who you are. And it's not about trying to be who you think people want you to be. You've got to find out who you are and then being happy with that and realizing that not everyone's gonna like you, but it's, it's so much better to just be a hundred percent you. If people don't like you, then that doesn't matter. So there's one. Two, choose people that you want in your life who are real and giving you something back. So it works both ways, obviously, but I think time's so short and our lives are so short and you don't want to waste it with the wrong people. And I've wasted it with a lot of wrong people before. So really, um, realizing who's real. Does that count?

• 50:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  I don't know if that counts.

• 50:04Lewis Howes?

  That's two.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  We have one more.

• 50:06Lewis Howes?

  One more.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  I think something that I struggled with is perfection and realizing that nobody is perfect. Nobody's even close to it. And that chasing it's never gonna make you happy because I've been there and I've done that and never did, never made me happy. And being okay with good enough is good enough. Just trying the best that you can and being a hundred percent who you are. I think this goes back to my first one though, it sort of ties in, but yeah, being authentic and it's not about perfection because that, that doesn't exist and it'll never make you happy anyway, it's boring. I think that can count.

• 50:44Lewis Howes?

  That's great, I love it.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  That's really hard.

• 50:46Lewis Howes?

  I love it.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  You should have told me this earlier, I could have sat there and come up with a great response.

• 50:50Lewis Howes?

  It's all about being spontaneous.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:52Lewis Howes?

  It's okay. You said, don't try to be perfect. If you would have known before.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 50:55Lewis Howes?

  Then it would have been too perfect. So it's a perfect and it's imperfection, right?

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Imperfectly perfect.

• 51:00Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. I want to acknowledge you for a moment, Emily, for all that you've been through. It sounds like you've been through a lot, you've overcome a lot that people weren't even aware of. And it sounds like about a decade of darkness, maybe even longer. And for you to discover at your own worth and really fall in love with yourself, which I think is really important for all of us to do. To be able to do that first is a huge thing and then to be able to share that with the world and inspire so many millions of people that you do. I want to acknowledge you for all that you're doing to stay committed to yourself and then to share that with the world. It's, it's making an impact, so I appreciate you.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 51:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Before I ask the final question, I want to know where can we connect with you?

• 51:40Speaker 01

  Come to Australia.

• 51:41Lewis Howes?

  You've got a number of programs on how to optimize your fitness, nutrition and workouts and things like that. And that's all at your website, correct?

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it's emilysky.com. Make sure you don't forget the E, so it's Emily Sky with an E at the end, dot com. And then there's Facebook, if you just search Emily Sky on there, it'll come up. And Emily Sky Fit on Instagram, Snapchat's the same, and Twitter is Miss Emily Sky. But if I get married, that's gonna have to change.

• 52:07Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  When I get married.

• 52:10Lewis Howes?

  This is Emily's guy. What's the thing you're most excited about right now?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Having a baby.

• 52:15Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Most excited, yeah. I've never been more excited in my life.

• 52:19Lewis Howes?

  That people can support you with in your online stuff or what's, you know, are you mostly on Instagram now or Facebook? Where should they go? The main place?

• 52:25Speaker 01

  I think Instagram's a little bit more personal. I'm on there a lot more and I do talk to everyone on there. So I respond to people comment and I respond. But I think what's been really cool about this new journey I'm on, having a baby is I'm sort of used to being the person that maybe people come to and I sort of give out information or I'm motivation, inspiration, whatever it is people come to me for. But now a lot of people are giving back and I'm learning from them about having a baby, which is really cool. And I think people like to feel like they're offering value or they're needed or wanted. And it's a really cool way for them to

• 53:01Lewis Howes?

  Give back.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Give to me and, and then I appreciate that. So it's like, it really is a community and really like a family and I wish I could meet everyone, give everyone a hug.

• 53:10Lewis Howes?

  Do another world tour in a few years and you can have everyone come meet you.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:14Lewis Howes?

  Very cool. Well, I'm excited. I really appreciate the time you came here and I know this is gonna add a lot of value to people.

• 53:19Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me.

• 53:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course. The final question is what's your definition of greatness?

• 53:24Speaker 01

  Yep. Definition of greatness is being a hundred percent yourself and working out what it is that you enjoy in life, what gets you out of bed every day, what makes, gives you that, the passion for life. And how can you make that a part of what you do every day? So whether it's your career, your job, how can you make it a part of that? And then to me, what's very important is obviously reaching people and somehow helping them in some way that's I think if I'm able to do that and sort of give to them in some way, give back, that's my definition of greatness. So it's when everything's aligned.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  My goals and what I want out of it. And if I, am I doing things the right way? Am I helping people as well? It's not just about me and for my own benefit, it's, it's not enough. I need to doing something more to help people. I think that's my definition.

• 54:19Lewis Howes?

  Awesome. Emily, thank you so much for coming on.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me.

• 54:22Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Come to Australia, you can get in my suitcase.

• 54:24Lewis Howes?

  I will.

• 54:30Lewis Howes?

  There you have it my friends, I hope you enjoyed this and it inspires you to be greater today. Again Ralph Wildo Emerson said, "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." You have incredible power within you. Now is the time for you to step up and move forward. Don't analyze your life anymore, don't second guess yourself anymore. Take committed action, one step forward today and then continue to do it over and over again. To get closer to the life that you want to live, the relationships you want to be in, the business you want to have, the career you want to have, and the feelings you want to have around your health and your environment.

• 55:11Lewis Howes?

  Again, this is your life, you have ownership over the thoughts that you have every single day and the decisions you make and the actions you take. If you enjoyed this, make sure to share it out with your friends. LewisHowes.com/566 Take a screenshot of this, post it on your Instagram story, tell me what you got the most out of during this interview, and let me know, post it on social media. And I screenshot a lot of these of what you guys do, so any creative posts you do on Instagram, tag me @lewishowes, tag Emily Sky as well. I'll screenshot and share some of these on my Instagram story to send you some love back also. You mean the world to me, thank you so much for all you do, for spreading this message,

• 55:52Lewis Howes?

  but most of all for taking the action on the things you learn in these interviews and in these episodes. Because if we just take in the information and we don't apply it, then we're wasting the information. So thank you for all that you guys do. I get so many emails and messages and tweets and posts on Instagram, telling me about your transformations in your business and your life. And it means the world to me and I'm so glad that we're doing this together. We're growing together, I'm learning, you're learning, and we're doing this together. Thank you again guys so much for being here, it means the world to me and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.