Teddi Mellencamp (Pt 2) How to Reconcile Your Life’s Meaning, Summon Strength & Hold Onto Hope During Setbacks!

Get your tissues out, and get ready to feel overwhelming gratitude and perspective for the blessings in your life right now, that can be so easy to take for granted when we have them. And of course we have a little fun too and get the inside scoop on what really happens behind the scenes of your favorite reality TV shows, and so much more. Welcome to the INCREDIBLE Part 2 conversation with Teddi Mellencamp sharing stories she’s never shared before on life’s hardest set-backs, marriage, infidelity, cancer, parenting during hardship, reconciling faith and summoning strength, hope and courage during bad-breaks and life’s setbacks! You might know Teddi as a TV personality who rose to fame on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she’s also co-host of the wildly popular podcasts called Two T’s in a Pod with Tamra Judge & Diamonds in the Rough with Erika Jayne, she’s daughter of musician John Mellencamp, a mom to her beloved little ones, Slate, Cruz, and Dove. She is also stepmother to Isabella and I’m so grateful to call her, friend. As her impact and following continues to explode, She’s also going through the unimaginable and the fight of her life, in this very moment, right now. Teddi was recently diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma, which she shared has metastasized to her brain and lungs. Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌⁠⁠⁠jamiekernlima.com⁠👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter and get ready for your self-worth to soar!🩷 ✨ Want to learn more about Teddi’s work? Check out her coaching program: https://allinbyteddi.com/ 🎧 Don’t miss her hit podcast with Tamra Judge, Two Ts in a Pod: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-two-ts-in-a-pod-with-tedd-49447273/ The American Academy of Dermatology offers a simple guide on what to look for and how to do a self-exam of your skin: ⁠aad.org/public/diseases/skin-cancer/find/know-how⁠. If you notice anything suspicious or just want a professional check, you can find a board-certified dermatologist near you at ⁠find-a-derm.aad.org⁠. Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show 14:57 Why Do Bad Things Happen To Us? 9:35 Don’t Make the Person Suffering Do The Work 17:54 Searching for Peace, Feeling Lost 30:10 When Faith Feels Far Away 34:20 Letting Go Of Social Pressure Also, please make sure to take 2 seconds and click the “Follow” button right here on this page to follow me and the podcast, I’m so grateful and thank you SO much! ____ It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Click ⁠⁠Here⁠⁠⁠ to Subscribe to the YouTube Channel Follow me here: ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠ — Sign up for my inspirational newsletter for YOU at:⁠⁠⁠ jamiekernlima.com⁠⁠⁠ — Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are! ⁠⁠⁠WORTHY⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Believe IT⁠

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jamie Kern Lima?

  Coming up in this incredible part two episode with Teddy Mellencamp.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  What I can say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer? Yes.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  I think it was my payback.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Nothing goes without payment, I guess. It was all over the press, it was everywhere.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  And you know, you're trying to

• 0:43Speaker 01

  you're trying to minimize everybody's pain. You end up maximizing it. I kind of, I kind of know how our marriage works.

• 0:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  And you think it could change?

• 0:54Speaker 01

  I think if I was willing to change. But I don't think I am anymore.

• 0:59Jamie Kern Lima?

  What do you mean?

• 1:02Jamie Kern Lima?

  When you say too, that you had resentment, he had cheated?

• 1:06Speaker 01

  I think it wasn't necessarily the act. It was, I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes in, in my marriage post that.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  But that broke me. I never really opened up about it. A financial thing was why the person was coming forward. And that was like even more heart wrenching because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money? And not even a lot of it?

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Disgusting. And I had to, I had to, I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  I had to beg him. I don't think he was in love with me at that point. I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other, but that wasn't one of those times. I've never talked about it at all. Were you in love with her? If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me?

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Do you even love me now? Are there other people? My actual soul-to-soul relationship with God, I don't know if... I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  And that's just an honest answer, you know? Like, I... I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm gonna heal.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  I also believe, how come sometimes the people involved with God do some of the most hurtful things? I talk to God every night before I go to bed, and I talk to God in the morning. I mean, I have conversations with God, and I tell God how afraid I am, and I just want to keep being positive. And I just want to be okay. And I believe that he feels that way, too.

• 3:27Jamie Kern Lima?

  Have you dated anyone since, or gone on any dates?

• 3:29Speaker 01

  And I'm on a hinge.

• 3:31Jamie Kern Lima?

  You're on hinge?

• 3:32Speaker 01

  I'm on hinge.

• 3:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right now?

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Right now. But I changed my age range, and now I don't know that I can be on hinge.

• 3:40Jamie Kern Lima?

  Why? Are you... Do you use your real name on hinge?

• 3:44Speaker 01

  It just says Teddy. My hinge is about to blow up. By the way, Ryan, why didn't you let me in?

• 3:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Do you use your photo, your real photo? And Teddy?

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  On hinge?

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:55Jamie Kern Lima?

  With Edwin asked, "Do you want to date?" What would you say? It's interesting, you're calling it a break, too.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Well, I don't... I don't know what to call... What do you call it? What do you call it when you're on a divorce?

• 4:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  And then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away, so then you have to put it on hold. Hold? Hold sounds worse than break.

• 4:17Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  There's no good answer. I mean, I could just say husband, but then people are like, "You're married?"

• 4:24Jamie Kern Lima?

  Well, yes, but.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  I mean, that's not, that's not going to fit on my Hinge profile.

• 4:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  No. Our incredible guest today, Teddy Mellencamp, is a television personality who rose to fame on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's also the co-host of the wildly popular podcast called Two Ts in a Pod, daughter of musician John Mellencamp, a mom to her beloved little ones Slate, Cruise, and Dove. She's also the stepmother to Isabella, and I'm so grateful to call her friend. As her impact and following continues to explode, she's also going through the unimaginable and the fight of her life in this very moment, right now. Teddy was recently diagnosed with stage four melanoma, which she shared has metastasized to her

• 5:13Jamie Kern Lima?

  brain and lungs. And today's episode of the podcast is unlike any before. So get your tissues out and get ready to feel overwhelming gratitude and perspective for the blessings in your life right now that can be so easy for us to take for granted when we have them. And of course, we have a little fun, too, and get the inside scoop on what really happens behind the scenes of your favorite reality TV shows and so much more. Whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds and hit the subscribe or follow button on

• 5:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  the app you're listening or watching on? It truly means so much to me. You can also get inspiration into your inbox from me for free. You can join my newsletter community at jamiekernlima.com. And this incredible podcast episode today is not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration today, or perhaps a boost in their self-belief. Because what you're about to hear can truly impact mine, yours, and their lives, too.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

• 6:31Jamie Kern Lima?

  Oprah, how have you defied the odds?

• 6:35Speaker 03

  Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  You listen, it feels like a hug, but your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow.

• 6:45Jamie Kern Lima?

  Melinda French Gates.

• 6:48Speaker 05

  When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  I could see the light around her, she's infused with light.

• 6:58Jamie Kern Lima?

  Imagine overcoming self doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  I talked to my therapist about it, I'm like, if I feel the urge, if I get asked on a date, or if somebody wants to take me out, she's like, you should go. She's like, anything that you want to do right now, and you feel in your heart that you want to do, do it. She's like, it could even be, it could be a date with, if he asked you on a date and you wanted to go, nobody's setting any rules for you. But like, right now, I'm not in that place, I'm not wanting that from him, I just want him to be happy, and I want our kids to be happy, and I want us to be able to have a good friendship and relationship. And I don't want to do anything to hurt him.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  But I don't know that I need to like, I kind of, I kind of know how our marriage works.

• 8:11Jamie Kern Lima?

  And you think it could change?

• 8:15Speaker 01

  I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore.

• 8:22Jamie Kern Lima?

  What do you mean?

• 8:25Speaker 01

  I think I would, the old me would have gone above and beyond to do anything to make sure that he's, you can go to this event, or that I could attend this with him, or that we could go on this trip, that I would be home by this time, because that would make it more convenient for him and the kids, or whatever it may be.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  And I don't have, I'm not like that anymore.

• 8:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:55Jamie Kern Lima?

  Do you think he could change for you, or would?

• 8:58Speaker 01

  I think he has changed certain things. I think by being in the hospital with me, by taking me to the hospital, by learning from doctors, because I think if this would have happened three years ago, when this first was diagnosed, and he would have had more of a

• 9:16Speaker 01

  a kindness to him about it, and not, well, it's only stage two, not many people die from stage two of cancer, you know, like those types of things, that just men say out of passing, or that their friends say to them, and so they repeat.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Maybe, I don't know for sure, but maybe I would have responded differently, but I had already had resentment by then. I don't want to explain it to you. Go online and look it up.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  I don't want to explain to you why I'm scared that I have stage two cancer.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  I don't want to explain to you why I'm afraid that I don't have health, you know, like life insurance. I don't want to explain to you, I still to this day, whether it's him or someone else, like, I don't want to explain to you why now it's, now that my thyroid's messed up, that I'm having some different medical issues, and it's because when you're on um, immunotherapy, it attacks different parts of your body. So now all of a sudden I have either hypo or hyper, I can't remember which one it is, thyroidism, and I couldn't figure out why I was shaking so much. So then I had to go back to that. So, but it's like, I, once I tell you what the diagnosis is, either call my doctor,

• 10:35Speaker 01

  talk to me a little bit, only if it's with love, like, I just, I don't have the patience for it. And then I get annoyed.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  And I don't know that that will change once I don't have cancer. Cause I know I can do it. I know I can, if somebody tells me something about them, and it's not something they want to talk about, I can research it. Heck, I do it every single day on the podcast.

• 11:01Jamie Kern Lima?

  When you say too that you had resentment, and I know this has come out now, which is why I'm going to ask you.

• 11:09Jamie Kern Lima?

  Was it when he had cheated? It's been reported in the press that nearly 10 years ago, just before Teddy and Edwin made their debut on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teddy discovered Edwin had been having an affair with one of her close friends at the time. The couple decided to stay together, and Teddy says Edwin had remained faithful in their marriage ever since.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  I think it wasn't necessarily the act.

• 11:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  And was it with your best friend? Or a good friend?

• 11:40Speaker 01

  It was with somebody I knew. Yeah. It was with somebody I knew. And I mean, I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes in my marriage post that.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  But that broke me. That was the first time in my life where I was like, how will I show up every day with a smile on my face? And raise these kids? And be this perfect wife? And start a television show? And become somebody that people like, or they think are funny? And people will say, why do you seem different than when you were on your first season of Housewives? Like when we listened to your podcast? And I never really opened up about it, but that's why. That's what I was going through. My first season on Housewives, that's what I was going through. So people say, oh, you seem kind of quiet, or you're kind of passive, or... But that's not really who you are.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  And I was like, well, I wasn't faking who I was. I was coping.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  I was coping, and I was so scared that someone was going to find out and ruin my family's life.

• 12:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  Did you tell anybody? Did anyone know?

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Uh, my best friend that I told the day it happened. My, uh, like I have one. I went and stayed at her house. The day that it happened and that, or the day I found out.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  And ultimately, you know, it came down to like

• 13:17Speaker 01

  a financial thing was why the person was coming forward.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  And that was like even more heart wrenching because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money?

• 13:35Speaker 01

  And not even a lot of it?

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Disgusting.

• 13:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  Did you find out because that person came forward?

• 13:46Speaker 01

  That person called me.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  That person called me and told me.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  And it was a couple of days before filming.

• 13:58Jamie Kern Lima?

  Of your first season?

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Of my first season.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  And I had to, I had to, I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  I had to beg him. He, I don't think he was in love with me at that point. I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other. But that wasn't one of those times.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  And there was a while that I thought, maybe I'll leave.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  And then it got better.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  But I think people oftentimes think that if this happens in a marriage and it, you know, even if it's reversed, which, you know, people have said a lot of different things about me too. Is that

• 14:51Speaker 01

  you're doing it because you don't have care for other people in your life. Sometimes you just don't have enough care for yourself.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Sometimes you just don't have enough care for yourself to do its best. And it's not trying to hurt other people. I don't think Edwin was trying to hurt me. I don't think throughout any of the mistakes I've made throughout my life, I've been trying to hurt my family or Edwin, or of course not my kids. But people don't make these conversations open very often.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Because everybody's scared of being judged.

• 15:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  When most of the time, a lot of people are affected by it.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  And I mean, I one million percent have done many things in my life that

• 15:45Speaker 01

  I wish I could turn back time. And there's some things that I can say. I needed to do that to move on.

• 15:55Jamie Kern Lima?

  Can you talk about, this was everywhere in the press?

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:00Jamie Kern Lima?

  So, um, the horse trainer.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, I've never talked about it at all, um,

• 16:11Speaker 01

  just because of the kids and I've never wanted anybody to have, you know, a guarantee whether it happened or didn't happen. But what I can say is

• 16:26Speaker 01

  did I do things that hurt other people? Yes.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer? Yes.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  Like it was my payback.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  So it

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Nothing goes without payment, I guess.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  But Um Yeah, the entire That entire However, long it was that it was all over the press, it was everywhere.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  And you know, you're trying to

• 17:19Speaker 01

  You're trying to minimize everybody's pain, you end up maximizing it. Whereas if you feel like you could just open up, because now not only do you have yourself, You have

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Your significant other, your kids. The other person's significant other, their kids. I mean, so many people are hurt in the wreckage.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  But I can say this from knowing.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  The wreckage doesn't happen On its own.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  It never had happened to me.

• 17:58Jamie Kern Lima?

  What do you mean?

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Like, I think I was so broken as a human being During that part of my life That I Did things out of my better judgment.

• 18:17Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, earlier you mentioned sometimes you do things and you regret it. Sometimes you do things because you needed to.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:23Jamie Kern Lima?

  To to go to that next place or to And do you think that That season

• 18:33Jamie Kern Lima?

  Was because it was something you needed to then go to the next season or?

• 18:37Speaker 01

  I think I was so sick During that stage, because remember how I told you there was like months of headaches and stuff like that? I was looking for comfort.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Anywhere I could get it. I felt so much pain. I felt so sick. I didn't go to the doctors. I didn't, and I just felt some certain kind of way. And the pain was so much that I had gotten to the point of like, almost

• 19:05Speaker 01

  hating waking up in the morning, which I had never been that kind of person.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  I noticed things about myself that just like, I would just

• 19:15Speaker 01

  I wasn't myself. And I'm not going to blame that I was sick. But I do think a bunch of things happened in my life all around the same time. And I had zero control of any of them. Like I just was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Will this make me feel better? No. Will this, will this, will this, will this, will this?

• 19:41Jamie Kern Lima?

  How is your, how is your faith? How's your relationship with God? Through this? And right now? Um. We need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do, take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire. Because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration that they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter, and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected, and more worthy. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life.

• 20:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy. How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back. Build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more.

• 21:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief.

• 21:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you, delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl.

• 22:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love.

• 23:19Jamie Kern Lima?

  And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to Stop Overthinking and Learn to Trust Yourself at jamiekernlima.com/resources or click the

• 24:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  link in the show notes below. And now, more of this incredible conversation together. How is your faith, how's your relationship with God through this and right now?

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Do you want me to be honest about this? Okay.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  My faith took a turn. Not my faith, but my relationship with God took a turn.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  I went to a couples therapy where we went out of town.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  And this is when I think I was fighting for my marriage the most.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  And I felt like it took away the last couple bits of fight that I had left in me.

• 25:01Speaker 01

  And I wondered, how is this possible? How is this possible? This is supposed to be that moment that we're going to be able to change things. I'd already had the first cancer thing. I hadn't had the brain cancer yet.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  The past stuff with Edwin, that damage was way done, but I still needed to move on. And I remember sitting there and talking to the person and saying, I need to, in order to move on, I need to know what happened. I need to know every bit of the story.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  And I remember him looking at me and saying, no, you don't.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  And I remember thinking in that moment, if this is the person Edwin is going to, we will never change.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  Because he doesn't see me as the same.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  And it's heartbreaking.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  I knew that day. We sat out on the beach that day. Everybody left early. We sat out on the beach and we played pickleball. That was our best day there. We got to laugh and have fun and remember what we liked about each other. But still, at the very end, I asked, "Please tell me exactly what happened."

• 26:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  With the affair.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  And he said, "You even heard. You don't need to know. It's only gonna hurt you."

• 26:43Speaker 01

  You can only hear that so many times.

• 26:47Jamie Kern Lima?

  And did that... What did that mean to you that made you know this is done?

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Because somebody...

• 26:56Speaker 01

  I had been asking for however many years.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Seven years, maybe more. I mean, I've been asking almost... Now it's been 10 years, but I had asked so many times what the details were. I needed to understand how it started. I needed to... Like, there were certain things. I don't need to know, like, the actual serious physical things, but I needed to know the mental side of it. How did you start talking to this person? What was the first time?

• 27:30Speaker 01

  Were you in love with her?

• 27:33Speaker 01

  If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me?

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Do you even love me now? Are there other people?

• 27:53Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 27:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  Answer you.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  He would probably answer me in present day. But I still don't know that we would ever talk about her.

• 28:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  And, and is it something inside of you that just needs to know?

• 28:13Speaker 01

  I don't need to know anymore.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  I don't need to know anymore. And that's the first time in however many years I haven't needed to know.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Just something in me went,

• 28:28Speaker 01

  you don't need to know.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  And I don't need to know if it's the truth. I don't need to know if it's a lie. I don't need to know anything.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  And that gives me peace.

• 28:38Jamie Kern Lima?

  Did that change your relationship? With God?

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Um, I don't think it changed my relationship with God. It changed my relationship to how I'm in a communication with God. Like I don't, my support system is now not through the church. I have a lot of very close friends that are very close in the church that talk to me a lot about this. And, um, help me. And I also have somebody who is very faith-based. That's my therapist. Um, but my actual soul to soul relationship with God, I don't know. I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  And that's just an honest answer, you know, like I, I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm gonna heal.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  I also believe, how come sometimes the people involved with God do some of the most hurtful things?

• 29:46Speaker 01

  And it's really hard for someone like me. Everything's a certain way, you know, like I've definitely loosened up. I mean, I, I used to not even be able to give hugs.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  The fact that I can even do that now is a big step up. But,

• 30:04Speaker 01

  I'm trying. I think I'm a learning process and I think through all of this,

• 30:09Speaker 01

  I'm trying to find happiness. I'm trying to find the right way. And trying to believe that.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Things happen for a reason.

• 30:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  Do you, do you believe that and also in your relationship with God? Have you, do you doubt God exists ever?

• 30:26Speaker 01

  I don't doubt God exists. I would say I don't put the time and effort I should into my relationship with God.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  And it's because, and I'm not blaming. I haven't put my, the, the time and the effort I need to into my relationship with God. I think there comes a lot of, when you've known people that are super religious.

• 30:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 30:54Speaker 01

  And you see certain sides, then for me, it can be a, a pull away.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Because then I see them being humans.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  And that's hard for me to decipher.

• 31:10Jamie Kern Lima?

  Has your diagnosis and in particular, the one most recently in April, is stage four? Has that, have you had a conversation with God about that?

• 31:22Speaker 01

  Oh, I've had many conversations with God about it. I mean, I talk to him, I talk to God every night before I go to bed and I talk to God in the morning. I mean, I have conversations with God and I tell God

• 31:38Speaker 01

  how afraid I am and I just want to keep being positive. And I just want to be okay. And I believe

• 31:48Speaker 01

  that he feels that way too.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  And so they're just small conversations.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  But it's definitely,

• 32:01Speaker 01

  you know, it's, it's, it's one of those things where you, you do your best.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  I, I hope that my kids build more of a, a belief in people and God than I have.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Like it's very hard for me to trust

• 32:25Speaker 01

  myself, other people, God.

• 32:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Because of what you've gone through?

• 32:40Speaker 01

  So we can go back a million more years. We don't have that kind of time, but it's been a lot.

• 32:45Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. When things we do not wish upon anyone happen to us, things that we would never, ever want in a million years.

• 32:59Jamie Kern Lima?

  Do you, is there any part of you that believes? Or I guess just has faith that even though it doesn't make sense, even though it's awful, like it's happening for me, I'm gonna come out of this?

• 33:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I, that's, that's how I believe this is happening. Like I before I was diagnosed with the, you know, the one in my

• 33:26Speaker 01

  the eight in my, or the nine in my chest and my lungs and all that.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  I was really in a poor place and I think my spiral would have gone down in a different way because of you know, things that were going on in my marriage and our life and then that kind of happened and it forced all of us to take a breath and remember what's important.

• 33:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  It forced all of us to go, hey, guys, you've all made mistakes.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  Take a breath.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  This is not the priority here. This is.

• 34:05Jamie Kern Lima?

  Have there been things you've decided I'm just gonna forgive?

• 34:11Speaker 01

  I think, yeah, I mean, throughout my life, I think there's certain things that I gonna forgive. I would say there's also certain things that like, I don't know that I'm angry about. I think I have a lot of figuring out still to do. And I feel like so much of my life I've, I've done this because people expect me to be a certain way and part of all this is learning like

• 34:37Speaker 01

  I gotta be just the way that I am. You know, I'm not the best spoken half the time. I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna say that. But I can also be really fun and loving and kind and that's kind of who I am. And I've had to be a little bit more take me or leave me.

• 34:58Jamie Kern Lima?

  Do you feel more free?

• 35:00Speaker 01

  I feel more free. I mean, I don't even look anymore what people say about me on social media. It's a daily occurrence. Some new massive thing and I'm like, I haven't moved Google Alerts. I stopped looking at all of those things because, I mean, I I was so confused on how much time to be on social media when I was in the hospital getting brain surgery that I was like, should I post this?

• 35:26Speaker 01

  And Kyle was like, absolutely not. What do you mean, should you post this?

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Like, it just becomes such like a part of your life and like, there were parts that I just couldn't even believe that I would even consider doing.

• 35:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  Is it because you're so trained to like? You're you're so public.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, so public and so like keeping people in the loop of what's going on and people are not gonna wonder where I've been for blah, blah, blah. And then finally, it took like an entire team of people to be like, Teddy, we'll all come up with a plan to share. You don't need to be in the hospital, not fully comprehensive to what's going on, sharing any of this. Sit here and heal, you know, like people always say, well, then why do you do a podcast where you talk about people for a living? I'm like, I'm recapping a reality television show. Don't take it so seriously. And if you do,

• 36:22Speaker 01

  I hope you really enjoy it. Because like, that's really what it is. It's a reality television show.

• 36:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  So with this whole shift, you you shared earlier, you are dating someone recently, which uh, I know what you're talking about because I saw it come out on Page Six and it I think it came out in a bunch of places. And you were saying, by the time y'all and the press were talking about it, I had already broken up with that person, right? Is that what happened? And um, and uh, and of course, anything that you do, i- if you breathe and you smile, people have an opinion on everything, right? That's the world that we're in nowadays. And I read a quote where you where you said, you know, I just don't want anything serious right now.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Well, I think right now, there's only so many days where I'm gonna feel my best or feel my strongest.

• 37:19Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  And I don't know them until later. So I can't be in a place where I need to be planning, helping somebody else plan out their life or their day to day activities.

• 37:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  Like if it all just works and it's and it's company and it doesn't, great, but I'm not looking to, like, I don't, I don't have any plans like getting married again or doing these things right now.

• 37:41Jamie Kern Lima?

  Mm hmm.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  Like, I'm just trying to beat this thing.

• 37:44Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  And and I and I think that's the the biggest thing and I don't have any ill will towards the guy I was dating, poor thing, that I'm like, sorry, tried to warn you.

• 37:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  And he's really private, right?

• 37:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:59Jamie Kern Lima?

  Everywhere.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm like, sorry about it. But I, there was never anything negative about it, it was more just like, on the days I feel good right now, that's all I got.

• 38:11Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:13Speaker 01

  And I'm sorry.

• 38:14Jamie Kern Lima?

  He wanted more serious and so.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  He didn't necessarily say, but I could, I could feel it.

• 38:19Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  But such a good person and so like, you know, maybe at a different time in my life.

• 38:28Jamie Kern Lima?

  Mm hmm.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Like such a nice guy, so like caring, helpful, it, it, and you, there are certain personality types that are caregivers. And like, he was so excellent, but then I just started feeling like, almost like, bad, like, I was like, I need, I need to make sure that I'm in the same, hold on, how do I phrase this?

• 38:56Speaker 01

  I didn't want it to get to a point where he was more serious than me. And then I had to end it in a way that was dramatic. I have enough dramatics in my life.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  I have enough.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  If I can catch, but the people that send me messages and like, how dare you ever go on a date? You have, you have this, you have that. I'm like, guys, we all gotta do what just makes us happy in the moment. Let's try, as long as we're not hurting anyone, like, like, it's, there's gotta be a happy medium. We can't be so judgmental of everything that everybody does because we don't know what people are going through.

• 39:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes. Have you dated anyone since or gone on any dates?

• 39:39Speaker 01

  No, I mean, I'm on a hinge.

• 39:41Jamie Kern Lima?

  You're on hinge?

• 39:41Speaker 01

  I'm on hinge.

• 39:42Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right now?

• 39:43Speaker 01

  I'm right now. But I changed my age range and now I don't know that I can be on hinge.

• 39:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Why?

• 39:50Speaker 01

  I changed it to older. I was like, maybe I need to be

• 39:54Speaker 01

  maybe I need to be with somebody older because I don't, I don't know. This was just a theory. And then I put it older and then I was like getting all these messages and I was like, nope, this is not what I need. Not what I need. They send too long a messages. They write ha ha's.

• 40:11Jamie Kern Lima?

  I was gonna say, I would think you'd go younger if you want like nothing super serious.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  Well, that's, well, I was thinking once somebody's married and had, because it has happened twice to me where two people that I've dated said they didn't want kids, said they didn't want to get married. And then all of a sudden there's a flip around, like I would, I never said I wouldn't. It's just not something on my radar. Well, no, no, it's on nobody's radar when they're single. But I was asking for a reason.

• 40:38Jamie Kern Lima?

  Are you, do you use your real name on hinge?

• 40:40Speaker 01

  It just says Teddy. My hinge is about to blow up. By the way, Ryan, why didn't you let me in?

• 40:46Jamie Kern Lima?

  Ah, okay. Do you use your photo, your real photo? And Teddy?

• 40:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 40:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  On hinge?

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Yes. Where else am I gonna go to meet somebody? Like, what am I gonna text you and be like, hey, do you know anyone good for me?

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Like, everybody I know knows Edwin.

• 41:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  I want to be respectful to him. I don't need to be like, "Hey Edwin, met the guy you played pickle with three weeks ago." It's a cute one. Like, but we do laugh about this stuff. He's like, "The other day I came in and I had flowers in my room." And he's like, "Did somebody send you flowers?" I'm like, "Yeah, look what it says." And it says, "The secret, love your secret admirer." And he goes, "What?" And I go, "It's from the kids, because I asked them for red flowers."

• 41:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  So, okay, so you said you'd be fine if Edwin dated?

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Yes. I also don't, it's, it's not even that I feel nothing, but it's like, why am I getting all the wrath? Like, where's Edwin's, like, nobody's tracked down who he could potentially be dating, but they're on me. I breathe on someone and that's my new boyfriend.

• 41:51Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Um, Erica was so funny. She's like, "It's because they don't care about the guys."

• 41:58Jamie Kern Lima?

  I, I tell you, I think people are harder on women, for sure.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:02Jamie Kern Lima?

  Every woman who's ever, you know, had a, a public role of any kind.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  Or a government role, or anything. I definitely think people are harder on women. With, um, so if Edwin asked you on a date, what would you say?

• 42:16Speaker 01

  If my kids were there, or not my kids?

• 42:19Jamie Kern Lima?

  Both, either way.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  Okay, a personal date, one-on-one, like, can we go on a date? I would say no. But if he said, "Do you want to go to dinner with the kids?", I would say yes. Or if he said, "Do you want to go to dinner?", I would say yes. But if he made it like it was a date?

• 42:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  I would say no.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  I think both of us, regardless of where the future holds, I think both of us need this time. And I, and I was always one of those people before, believe me. Back in the day when he didn't really want to be with me, I did not believe in breaks.

• 42:55Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  But now, you know, I don't know, I don't know anything. All I've learned from all of this is, I don't know anything.

• 43:03Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  I know, I gotta just, one foot in front of the other, day by day.

• 43:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  Well, it's interesting, you're calling it a break, too.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Well, I don't, I don't know what to, what do you call it? What do you call it when you're on a divorce?

• 43:15Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  And then, somebody gets cancer, almost passes away, so then you have to put it on hold. Hold? Hold sounds worse than break.

• 43:25Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 43:26Speaker 01

  There's no good answer. I mean, I could just say husband, but then people are like, you're married? Well, yes, but, I mean, that's not, that's not gonna fit on my Hinge profile.

• 43:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  No. It's, it's, um, that's so funny. This conversation with Teddy Mellencamp is so powerful and vulnerable and inspiring. We made it into three parts. Coming up, we're lightening things up around here. Teddy is sharing what really happens behind the scenes on your favorite reality TV shows, and how much of it is really real. Plus, her best tools and tips on how to navigate online criticism, and her hard-earned wisdom on how you can best help your friends and loved ones navigate hard things in their lives, and so much more. Teddy is opening up like never before in this final part three of this conversation.

• 44:21Jamie Kern Lima?

  Coming up, in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know, because it can be the impact and change that they need in their life, too. And if you loved today's episode, click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or review, I'd be so grateful. And again, share it with everyone that you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Maybe someone you know is going through a struggle or a hard time, too, and they're just trying to keep the faith. Please share it with others online or in your community, who just might need the words

• 45:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you are meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you. Thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are. Heal where you need. Blossom what you choose. Journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like, because you belong

• 45:45Jamie Kern Lima?

  here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring

• 46:28Jamie Kern Lima?

  life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them, and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you

• 47:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious. And so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you, delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com

• 47:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your One-on-One with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love, hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.