Ep 609 - Mega Heider (feat. Corey Heider & Nate Marshall)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Corey @HeiderCorey on IG or 'Corey Heider' on YouTube Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live yo0o0o0o. Got a bonus for you this week. We're spoiling you. Got the D. A. W. G. Corey Heider at the Podes this week with Cusk n N8. Corey is the man check out his vids they are the best. Please enjoy. God Bless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  And Corey, how's it going on, dude? What the hell's happening?

• 0:08Matt McCusker?

  But I was just saying what a joyous occasion it was to meet up. You were telling us about the people of, where was that?

• 0:13Speaker 02

  Pittsburgh?

• 0:14Matt McCusker?

  Mm-mm.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  What?

• 0:15Speaker 00

  No, the tribes.

• 0:17Matt McCusker?

  The tribe, the eagle, the snake, the lion.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  The Incas and Aztecs, yeah. Oh, Tenochtitlan. We was talking about Tenochtitlan just a moment ago.

• 0:25Matt McCusker?

  Tenochtitlan.

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:26Matt McCusker?

  I like that.

• 0:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:27Matt McCusker?

  And they finally settled.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  On, on straight willpower. They, they waited, they didn't settle. You know what I mean? So ladies out there, don't settle. That's what I'm saying, don't settle.

• 0:36Matt McCusker?

  True. What do you think of the modern dating market right now?

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Oh, man. Well, I'm glad to be out of it. So I am, brother, because it is, it's like going bass fishing in a porta potty out there, brother.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  I can't tell if that means it's super easy.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  So, no, you do not want to catch bass in a porta potty, cuz. No bueno. No bueno. No, dude.

• 0:57Matt McCusker?

  Hold on, to Nate's point, it is easy.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. You might be, you might be knocking turds around, but to Nate's point, you're gonna catch a lot.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're gonna catch a lot. Nothing I'd want to eat, though. Nothing I'd want to eat.

• 1:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, uh, yeah, I peed in a porta potty like two days ago. I don't know if this was on purpose, but somebody clogged up the urinal in the porta potty with toilet paper. It looked like it, like a, somebody did it intentionally and it's like, why?

• 1:23Speaker 00

  Create a hell.

• 1:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, why would you want to disable the pee option?

• 1:28Speaker 02

  You're gonna hurt the own guy trying to help you.

• 1:29Matt McCusker?

  I, it was really weird. I was like.

• 1:31Speaker 00

  I have a theory about homeless people that they thrive in fucked up conditions. Like they want it as bad as possible.

• 1:37Matt McCusker?

  Damn, and when the porta potty, they see a porta potty and they're like, not nasty enough.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  Clogging with paper towel or toilet paper, piss on it, make it reek.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Some money, some men want money, some want power, some just want to watch the world burn, dawg.

• 1:50Matt McCusker?

  What's, what's the nastiest porta potty you think you've ever seen?

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Dude, I've seen one that breached.

• 1:55Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:55Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:56Matt McCusker?

  Breached water?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  No, not breached water.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, brother.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  You're talking about the fucking portal?

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Above sea level, cuz. She was, you couldn't sit on it, you would have been penetrated by everything. No, I don't know how the last person done it. They must have had a stem ladder.

• 2:11Matt McCusker?

  That would have truly been Montezuma survey.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 2:16Matt McCusker?

  You saw, there was a fucking mountain. No, dude.

• 2:20Speaker 02

  I'm telling you.

• 2:21Matt McCusker?

  I believe you, but holy.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  I'm telling you.

• 2:22Matt McCusker?

  I didn't think that was possible.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, could you, what, what, here, okay. So here's the dynamic of it. The last two, three P or last serious game changing last person. Cause they, they would have done the last four or five pounds, bro. They had to put the keystone on the fucking, you know.

• 2:38Matt McCusker?

  That was the peak.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  That dude, that had, it had to have been Asian, really, you know what I mean? Get down on a squat.

• 2:43Matt McCusker?

  Sure.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  The Japanese squat. Bro, they had to have been facing the outward wall, not the door.

• 2:48Matt McCusker?

  That'd be funny too. If it was just a single, it was just a mountain of diarrhea, but then a single solid turd. Floating like iceberg. It's just like, yeah, I've been eating broccoli and rice and chicken. It's just a 12 inch turn.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  Usually goes the other way. I get the plug and then the break. Cause on keto, you know what I mean? You get that cheese plug, cuz. For two days or you get one that U-turn. Sometimes you see it, oh, you did a full U. That's what's been happening. That motherfucker tried to go back on a one-way. You can't be, that's a uh-uh.

• 3:18Matt McCusker?

  It does suck when you get it, you like, when you poop and it's the shape of your intestines and you're like, oh.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  That's good, that's good though. You know, you clean that out. You like, I'm good for at least, you know, 18 inches in there.

• 3:29Matt McCusker?

  You're ready. How's the, uh, so how was the keto going? How long you been on keto?

• 3:33Speaker 02

  Oh dude, on and off. So I started, started seriously. Dude, I was like 385 pounds. I was like, I gotta either die from this or figure something out.

• 3:40Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  I was like, I could eat salads and go to the gym every day. And I was like, no, that sounds like some bitch shit, right? I can't, I can't dude. I went to the gym one time, I was like, I'm sweaty. I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home and figure it out. And then, um, I saw an internet article that said, if you eat hot dogs wrapped in cheese until you feel like you're gonna have a heart attack. Like, run that six, seven months, cuz. Right? Six, seven months, just run it dude. And that's what I did.

• 4:03Matt McCusker?

  And now you lost weight.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Brother, I would, there would be times where I walk past a man, I'd be like, who the fu- oh my god.

• 4:08Matt McCusker?

  How much you say your peak was?

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Sagging dude. My peak was 385. So

• 4:13Matt McCusker?

  Touching fours.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, touching fours. That's why, bro, and this is like, I used to watch Rob and Big back in the day. And Big was so big, like, you probably don't notice, you probably never knew this. A home scale typically only goes to 330 pounds. Like, if you're bigger than that, go to the hospital.

• 4:27Matt McCusker?

  Does it say error?

• 4:28Speaker 02

  This ain't a Walmart. Yeah. It's just, it's just like, yeah, error, error on the electric ones, or the other ones will boop, boop, boop, boop. I love them ones, because at least you can still tell. You're like, 330 plus. Okay. I should, you know.

• 4:40Matt McCusker?

  So it would just be like, no.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, so back in the day, right, me and my boy was scrapping metal for drugs, just like any good, hardworking American.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  And we was at the scrap yard, right, and there was this guy that looked like the dude that lived in the pit in Waterworld. That's the only way I can describe him. He had never seen the sun, bro. And he just lived in scrap, he died by scrap, bro. He didn't leave his shed, his scrap shed.

• 5:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  And I went in there and he had to scale. And I was like, how high did I go? He's like, 25, 3500 pounds. I was like, can I stand on it? You mind if I stand on it real quick? He's like, 385. He's like, goddamn, boy. And I was like, yeah, that's, that ain't good, is it? And I was like, how much, just trying to like divert. I was like, how much you get for, for scrapping somebody like that? He's like, after you boil a man down to the bare minerals, they're only worth about 12, 11 cents.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  That's either the first joke this guy has ever told, or we should get the fuck out of here, okay? Pretty, pretty quick.

• 5:31Matt McCusker?

  What were you, what were you scrapping that day?

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm gonna say stainless steel, dude. It was a stainless steel, uh, hospital cabinet weighed about 400 pounds. I'm the same as me.

• 5:40Matt McCusker?

  It's not bad, it's not a bad haul.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Oh, dude.

• 5:42Speaker 00

  How much did you make for a haul like that?

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, we made like, four or five per thirties.

• 5:50Matt McCusker?

  They, they really do. They do cut the, um, if they think you're on drugs, you don't get the real scrap price.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  I know, dude, it's like a bartering system. You're like, come on, I know I stole it, but you know.

• 6:01Matt McCusker?

  I've seen it in action. I've seen like, two dudes, like tweakers come up in like a shopping cart full of wire.

• 6:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Dead giveaway.

• 6:07Matt McCusker?

  Dude, they're like, $30. And I'm looking at it like. Well, it looks like a little more than that. You get like a tweaker price. They rip you. They just fucking crush you.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  They know you're just like, yeah.

• 6:15Matt McCusker?

  They know you'll say yes to anything.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:18Matt McCusker?

  So, yeah, they, it's really funny.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Bert, yeah, you got your Bert wire.

• 6:21Matt McCusker?

  Dude, the scrap game, especially on any job site, it's, there's more problems on a job site due to the scrap and how it's getting like, you know, who gets it? It's people, are people like sneaking it, stealing it? It's, I've, it's just like a never ending drama.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  It's insane. Dude, that's like literally 20, 25% of my job is calling the cops because someone stole the fucking copper pipe.

• 6:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  And now we gotta repalm the whole house.

• 6:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, it's just wild.

• 6:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, people go through your house, like your entire house and just pull out everything.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, it's like trying to keep apples away from raccoons. Did you ever do that?

• 6:50Speaker 00

  No.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Bro, they'll, bro, they'll break through your house vents. They will sneak through your fucking vents like Tom Cruise in Mission Fucking Impossible. They will scale down. They will unlock your door, let in their homies.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  I had one trying to break in. I think I told you before, I had a raccoon try to break into the crib. I just had his little, this is back when I was living in Jersey, just a paw reaching through like where my, uh, my air conditioner like was like closed. It just was a little paw.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  What?

• 7:15Speaker 00

  I just grabbed my hatchet. I was about to hatchet his paw off.

• 7:17Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna cut his hand off like a rabid fucking chief? You're gonna cut the thief's hand off?

• 7:23Speaker 00

  Just hold it, just guard him.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Persian rules, real quick.

• 7:26Matt McCusker?

  You should have shook his hand.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 7:28Matt McCusker?

  My neighbor had pet raccoons.

• 7:30Speaker 00

  Had a pet raccoon?

• 7:31Matt McCusker?

  Pet raccoons and he fed it Urkel cereal.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Urkel?

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Did he do that?

• 7:37Speaker 00

  That feels fucked up.

• 7:39Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I remember going up there. I remember being like, damn, I never had Urkel cereal. I want Urkel cereal so bad. These fucking raccoons are gonna eat it.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Right out the box.

• 7:46Matt McCusker?

  Or you would just throw it in there, feed it.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  You get down in there with it, it's good.

• 7:51Matt McCusker?

  They were cool. They were actually, raccoons are cool.

• 7:54Speaker 00

  They're cool ass animals, but they're just, I don't know, they're just dirty shit.

• 7:57Matt McCusker?

  Bear family, technically. Goes hard.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Ursine, mini bear.

• 8:01Speaker 00

  Cut his paw.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  Mini bear. Short, shout out to Ursus Major.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 8:10Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 8:11Speaker 03

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• 8:12Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cot, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters. Natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 8:23Speaker 03

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• 8:48Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 8:49Speaker 03

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• 8:50Matt McCusker?

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• 9:53Speaker 03

  Incredible.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  So we should probably, uh, you know, the, the way I found you, actually it was, uh, Brandon from Rough House. Yeah. Put me on you. Yeah, he's the man. There's guys. Dude, the videos are so good. Just going through, you know. So like, what do you do? What, like, explain? Okay. Your thing. Okay, okay. So I'm a contractor by trade, right? But all the houses, see, this is the hook, right? It's like one of them magic pot monkey paw genie wishes, right? Like, you get to be a contractor, but every house you go into is filled with shit and diapers and dead things. How about that? You like that? You looking for work? How about that? Huh? How about that for a pandemic job? It's better than being like the Home Depot installer guy.

• 10:31Matt McCusker?

  There I think they're like absolute underworld of contractors. The guy who puts in like a door, a screen door from Home Depot. He's like, like dude, Nate, you can sign up today.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  And just be that guy?

• 10:40Matt McCusker?

  And be the guy.

• 10:40Speaker 00

  I would like.

• 10:41Matt McCusker?

  And then when you get there, you go, oh, I gotta go up two flights of steps. That's an additional thirty seven dollars. Bring this shit the fuck upstairs now. I'll give you a tip.

• 10:48Speaker 00

  Screen door.

• 10:49Matt McCusker?

  Stop charging me extra shit. He's like, do you want the really long nail that like sets it in like deeply? I'm like, that'd be nice. Like that's an additional fifty nine dollars. Like dude, what the fuck?

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Nickel and diming you.

• 10:59Matt McCusker?

  Bro, Home Depot contractors come out and it's, it's the old dog and pony show. They, it's like they get, they're, they're like a fucking Vegas escort. They're like, they show up. It's like, I thought it was three hundred bucks. Like, whoa, that's to get here. That's just now. That was gonna be a couple of, yeah, they're fucking bullshit.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Big dog, you need to get your own contractor.

• 11:15Matt McCusker?

  That would be tight.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  Dude, what are you, oh, what's stopping you? Do it.

• 11:19Matt McCusker?

  Lack of knowledge, lack of technical knowledge.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Grab one. Grab one. Grab, just grab a dirty, just a dirty thick man somewhere out. You know what I mean?

• 11:27Speaker 00

  I'm so glad.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Just a dirty thick man out in the street somewhere. You know what I mean? You'd be like, what are you up to, huh? God, you wanna be on my retainer? You wanna be on retainer?

• 11:37Matt McCusker?

  I used to, uh, paint houses with my friend Spud and he was, he like trained me. I can like, I can actually house paint. That's one thing I can do. But he was all mechanic. He was all technical. So I would do a lot of like talking to the people for him. So I, I know how, I know enough and he would laugh because I, I know enough. I'm good with like lingo. So I can like bullshit and really make it seem like I know what I'm talking about. So I would, you know, he don't get a kick out of me. He's like, walk around with customers like, oh yeah, okay. And I'd like talk, talk, talk and turn him like, dude, what the fuck are you, how do you do? So yeah, I could, I could be, I could be the guy with the iPad and like the clean tucked in polo that shows up being like, yeah, all right, let me, I'm gonna have one of my guys come out.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  You would literally be the Home Depot installer.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  It all comes full circle, man. Yeah, that's how they get there.

• 12:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, five hundred percent markup.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  No idea.

• 12:24Matt McCusker?

  So you, you made the monkey paw genie wish. You got your wish to be a contractor, but you, it's, it's like the underworld of like just fucked up houses.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Terrible.

• 12:32Matt McCusker?

  You're recording it, dude, it's.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  I got so used to it though. It's crazy what you can get used to.

• 12:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  That's what I mean, bro. That's why I see my, my buddy's granddad who was in NOM. I seen the way he looks at fire and I'm like, how do you get used to that? You know what I mean? He just looks at it like he's seen piles of bodies burn. You know what I mean? And now, I'm just saying, and now I go, it's a, it's a wild look to see on a man's highway, just staring at a flame like, yeah, anyone here wanna move? I'm like, oh man, dude, this is wild.

• 12:58Matt McCusker?

  So you walk into the houses and you just, you're ready. You go in.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  Glazed over.

• 13:02Matt McCusker?

  Completely. What's the worst thing, what's the worst thing you've seen in a house? I think you may have showed.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  I may have showed you and we may not be able to talk about on you. Can we talk, can we talk? What's the rules? I don't know.

• 13:13Matt McCusker?

  You can talk about anything. I think you just can't show it on.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Okay. So there was this one time that, you know, well, you go in the house and first off, ground rules, you break into the house.

• 13:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  Right? So what I do looks a lot like crime, which is great because that's what I used to do too. This is my alley, right? So we break in the second floor window, right? Because it was unlocked. You go up, scroll up, do ladder through the roof. Okay. You go in the house. They all stink.

• 13:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Right? Because what do they feel with? You don't know. Is there, is there a rat king in here? We don't know. We don't know, dude. We're not familiar. So you go into whatever bedroom you just came through, right? And he's like, with the bang.

• 13:51Matt McCusker?

  Are you like straight through a window or something?

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Straight through the window.

• 13:53Matt McCusker?

  Because there could be people in there too. That's the scary part.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. With the bang, I got a gun.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Got brass knuckles. You know what I mean? All that shit. Just walking through tough as shit, cuz.

• 14:05Matt McCusker?

  Kicking dirty sweaters out.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Not afraid to go back to jail. Absolutely. And the whole house stinks, right? So, because the fridge has been unplugged for, Christ knows, you know what I mean? So the whole thing's just from ground levels is no bueno. So when you go in there and there maybe has been a lady laying face down in the kitchen for 11 months, you might not know right away. You might not know right away. They don't tell you that. You know what I mean? That's all the paperwork usually. So, yeah.

• 14:31Matt McCusker?

  So what do you do when you find that? Like, what's the next?

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Kick it.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  No, you have to. Kick it, dude. I ain't, uh-uh, not on my watch, buddy. Nope, nope, nope. You give it the double tap real quick. You know what I mean? I got boots on. Ain't no big deal.

• 14:44Matt McCusker?

  You're going to be with the play dead trick. Stab me in the neck. I get it.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  You measure twice and cut once.

• 14:50Matt McCusker?

  So you, that's, yeah, you gotta give the tap.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  You gotta make sure you don't turn your back on a corpse.

• 14:54Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  I've learned that from every movie and I'm not fast. I'm not, if you're already on the ground, it's the only shot I got. The windiness, you know?

• 15:02Matt McCusker?

  Zombie butt.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  Dude, curb stomp. Out, cuz.

• 15:08Matt McCusker?

  So you're someone across the dead, R.I.P.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  Sometimes, yeah.

• 15:12Matt McCusker?

  Damn, like, what did you really feel the first time? That's, even at a funeral, I'm kind of jarred at the viewing.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  No, I didn't care.

• 15:20Matt McCusker?

  I forgot you're glazed over.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I'd see I had a real fucked up childhood that we're not allowed to talk about ever. I know I promised everyone I wouldn't. I would never say it, but so compartmentalization is like, boy, she's on point, bro. If it wasn't, I'd be in therapy right now. Do you know what I mean? I'd be fucked up on the street somewhere.

• 15:39Matt McCusker?

  You just became fun, basically.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like, you got two, two, two, two choices here, bro. You can either get real fucked up or you can become the life of the party. Okay, what are we gonna do? Got two avenues, cousin. Okay, let's never talk about any of this shit again.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  I always say if I had one, if I had a nickel for every time I got molested, I have one nickel I never talk about.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Say, wait, what was the question?

• 16:10Matt McCusker?

  You're just talking about, yeah, just you're steel counting.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Locked in. Ain't nothing gonna break my stride. Ain't nothing gonna hold me down.

• 16:20Matt McCusker?

  Absolutely not, absolutely not.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  So, okay, dad, grandma, that's okay. We still got other jobs to do. Okay? So, hold on, let me call somebody. What's this? 911? No, that's not an emergency. Let me find, hold on. Let me find the local number real quick. So I call up, yeah, the priest. Yeah, I need an old priest and a young priest. And maybe a F-250 Super Duty with a morgue slab in the back, maybe. Okay. Or the guy who collects deer. Did I ever tell you about the guy who collects deer?

• 16:47Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Brother, you did. We should get his Instagram, but I don't think he can work a phone. He got them thumbs. But anyway, so this guy, right?

• 16:55Matt McCusker?

  What's up with his thumbs?

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Don't even worry about it. If you gotta ask, if you gotta ask, you can't afford it.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  So anyway, okay, okay. So I'm driving down the street, right? And I see this guy, cut off Dale Earnhardt shirt, right? Hat on, glasses on the hat, not even on his fucking eyes, right? Marble hanging out of his mouth, real loose, real fucked. Oh, oh, oh, hope is the only thing holding that thing in his mouth. Hope and his dry ass lips from being in the sun and chucking deer all day. So. He's got, okay, so he's got a 1999 Chevy Silverado 5.3, fucking great motor. And he all rusted out, right? Bed falling off the fucking thing.

• 17:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Already stacked with deer ranging from, that motherfucker still looks good, to jerky cousin. Straight jerky. That boy had been bleeding out for weeks. And he is on the side of the road, cigarette hanging out, bare hands, I can't bend down because of the mic. He grabs his motherfucker and just heaps it on the pile and gets no gloves, short, cut off.

• 18:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Brother, the same shirt, no shower.

• 18:02Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  I'm like, this guy be stacking corpses dirty. So that goes back to the point, you can get used to a lot of shit for money.

• 18:09Matt McCusker?

  Where, wait, where'd you encounter this guy though?

• 18:11Speaker 02

  On the side of the road. Where else do you get deer corpses? Fuck.

• 18:14Matt McCusker?

  Oh, he was getting the dead deers, not, he wasn't even hunting them.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  Roadkill, I'm sorry, yes. I'm from Pennsylvania. Yeah, where the, the, the roads are scattered with corpses.

• 18:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he was.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Like the streets of Germany. Yeah, it's crazy.

• 18:26Speaker 00

  Do you know him? Do you know what he was collecting them for? Or you know what he was getting?

• 18:29Speaker 02

  Probably fucking, what are they, Duncan Hines points or whatever.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Many crockers.

• 18:35Matt McCusker?

  People eat roadkill. He might have been munching it.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, they probably pay him, right? They probably takes a picture, like, we'll pay you $25 a corpse, just stack them and take them to the dump. Cause that's what they do, they take them to the dump. I've also been on the other end of that, where I had to unload a U-Haul on a start of fucking deer corpses.

• 18:49Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  And I'm like, trying not to step, I'm like, sorry buddy, you know?

• 18:53Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  My bad, I'm gonna throw this TV on your head.

• 18:55Matt McCusker?

  There is a program where you can take deer corpses to the dump and get some money?

• 18:57Speaker 02

  I've never been, you, I mean, we usually stop at plasma, right? That's usually where people sink.

• 19:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  As far as legal ways to get money, scrap metal, plasma.

• 19:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  I've never been deer corpse.

• 19:12Matt McCusker?

  Deer corpses, wow. That's like an, that's like a 1830 fur trader.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:17Matt McCusker?

  Those guys are like trap varmint.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  They didn't even do it for the fur though. They just do it for the love of ball.

• 19:21Matt McCusker?

  True. Maybe you can get some antlers, maybe that's kinda nice.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  Keep you from the urge to really murder. You know, if you want like people bodies, it's like, I'll just fuck around with these.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Poke it. That's what homeless people, yeah, that's what homeless people are for, I thought. You see, practice.

• 19:33Matt McCusker?

  Murder?

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, practice murder.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 00

  Or crash dumps.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  We don't wanna talk about mom and therapy, cause we, man.

• 19:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you could, you could, uh, hookers get murdered a lot too.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  That's sad.

• 19:45Matt McCusker?

  That's sad.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  They're just doing a service for their community.

• 19:47Speaker 00

  I know. That's somebody making you come and then you kill them.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  That's not even fair.

• 19:50Matt McCusker?

  And then you come again.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  That's not, not me.

• 19:55Matt McCusker?

  Ain't right. No, you're right. That's, there's a lie.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Only in Grant I thought of.

• 20:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I feel bad. I don't like it when hookers get killed. I'm the same way.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  I cry, yeah.

• 20:08Matt McCusker?

  Murdering a homeless guy, though, is pretty, it's pretty gnarly, dude.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would never, but you know, it's just fun to joke about.

• 20:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, it's like choking them to death, too. You're down. So I had, I had a, funny enough, I got in my car the other morning. Got in my car the other morning. I was driving. I had like run early, so I was like a little sweaty. It wasn't, you know. Get in my car and I'm like, fuck, I saw someone had rifled through my glove box. I'm like, fucking homeless guy went through my car. And then they call me like, fucking stinks like a homeless guy in here. And I'm like, driving and then I was like, I think that's me, actually. Then I was like, I think it's both of us. I think the homeless guy's must.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Was he in there? Was it live action?

• 20:42Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no, he was, no, no, no.

• 20:43Speaker 00

  I didn't think you were about to hit the, he was in the backseat.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 20:47Matt McCusker?

  No, he, I didn't even check. I should have checked.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, just that mirror.

• 20:50Matt McCusker?

  True. He's just sitting there. I might leave him a snack in my car. I don't care. You know what I mean? It's like he didn't get any, he didn't take anything from me.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  There's something, I get it, but there's something that just bugs my soul when I know somebody's.

• 21:02Matt McCusker?

  I'm worried, I'm worried he's gonna beat off in my car. That would piss me off.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Soup kitchen.

• 21:07Matt McCusker?

  If I find the jizz, I'll be pissed.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Dude, if they come in there, there's not just one of them. They gang up for that. That's a group, that's a homeless group activity.

• 21:14Speaker 00

  Oh, somebody broke into your car?

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Never heard of Dirty Mike and the Boys?

• 21:17Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Brother, that's a real thing that happens. Yeah.

• 21:19Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 21:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, they made a soup kitchen out of this guy's Prius.

• 21:22Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, on the other guys in the movie. Never seen it? Dirty Mike and the Boys?

• 21:25Matt McCusker?

  No. I wonder if I left, but you don't think if I left like, like some chapstick and applesauce and water, he'd.

• 21:30Speaker 00

  He's gonna be like, you know how they say to don't feed the deer? You know how they say, don't feed the deer? He's gonna start showing up at the car.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  I mean, I, more and more.

• 21:37Matt McCusker?

  I wouldn't mind that, though. Just, because we have a ring cam. Just to see how many. That'd be nice.

• 21:43Speaker 00

  Just grazing homeless.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Five guys. Wait a second. Business idea. You get your own bait car or just buy a new car and use a CRV as a bait car, okay? Or your car. I'm sorry, are we allowed to say that? I don't know.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  He doesn't. Use the Accord as a bait car, okay?

• 21:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  And then you just put it in your driveway and you just bait it for all these homeless to come in there and do.

• 22:02Matt McCusker?

  Stream. That'd be a good live stream.

• 22:04Speaker 02

  Like if one of them Eagle cams up in the woods, which is all homeless in Austin. Bro, I ran into one. So remember, we've talked about, you said, hey, be careful of the homeless people. They're a little bit brazen. I was like, it's okay. I know how to choke them. I know rear naked choke. It's real strong. So this guy, right? I'm wandering around the streets last night and this guy comes up to me. He's like, he keeps. Yeah, this is my dude, right? And he's like, you got a cigarette? I was like, nah, man, I don't even smoke. And I left all my Zen in the hotel room. I'm like, I'm cooked, bro. He's like, you got a dollar? I was like, nah, bro. I was like, nah, bro. It's like, everything's cash. I'm just mimic him, right?

• 22:39Speaker 02

  I was like, nah, bro. I was like, I got none of the cash. And right, he's like, ah, he's like, fuck. I was like, I know, I don't know what we're gonna do, bro. And he's like, alright, man, good luck, brother. And I'm like, yeah, thanks, man. And I like walk away and he walks away and I'm like averted, right? And I was like walking, three minutes later, same dude. Hey, buddy. I was like, buddy. I was like, it's you again. I was like, you remember from like six minutes ago? And I start tweaking, right? I was like, six minutes ago? I was like, did you get a cigarette yet? And he's like, no, man, fuck. And I was like, I know, dude, we're cooked, bro. What are we gonna do?

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Just assimilate.

• 23:13Matt McCusker?

  You just joined him, yeah.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  And Austin, I am the dead center between the homeless and the upper, the sophisticrites. Okay? I'm dead fucking square. So the sophisticrite looks me in the eye, they cross the street. If a homeless man looks me in the eye, they ask for money. I'm like, so I could be either one.

• 23:31Matt McCusker?

  You're either one, you have a foot in each world.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  So I talk to all the well dressed people in elevators real nice. And I act super homeless to the homeless people. I'm like, bro, we both, like, where, what are we gonna do, bro?

• 23:43Matt McCusker?

  Well, I did enjoy the fact, so flying out here, I put you in first class.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  What's that, first class?

• 23:49Matt McCusker?

  I think so, right?

• 23:49Speaker 02

  I don't know, I wouldn't know fucking first class from third class.

• 23:52Matt McCusker?

  Were the seats big?

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:54Matt McCusker?

  And was there just two of you in a row or three?

• 23:56Speaker 02

  There was three. There was a space.

• 23:58Matt McCusker?

  If my wife gave you comfort plus, I'm gonna call her and scream at her.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  I was happy.

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  How many people were with you?

• 24:05Speaker 02

  There was two people, there was on the way there, on the way here. There was two people. On the way to Baltimore, there was one person seated in between us. But you were not allowed to set your bag there or he would look at you funny the whole time.

• 24:17Matt McCusker?

  So you were in the front?

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I was the first, like, if something went down, I'm the first motherfucker to jump out.

• 24:23Matt McCusker?

  Hell, yeah, hell, yeah. So you were in first class? I was about to call my wife and say, you fucking sheep skater.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Stop it, why are you treating me like this?

• 24:29Matt McCusker?

  I had to.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  I'm literally white trash, what are you doing? You gotta start ground, you gotta build up, dude.

• 24:34Matt McCusker?

  No, I wanted, I wanted to unleash you in first class, dude.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  It did not go well.

• 24:38Matt McCusker?

  You tried to make a flight buddy.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  So many times.

• 24:41Matt McCusker?

  And they were just shutting you down?

• 24:42Speaker 02

  Absolutely not. Yeah, the one lady, uh, I don't know if I could say this, you know, uh, hipper, hipper.

• 24:47Matt McCusker?

  Are you?

• 24:48Speaker 02

  No, she, oh dude, I was peeping her phone the whole time. Well, she was sitting right there and she had wifi. I'm like, how the fuck she get wifi? So I was like this, I was like, oh shit, she was that king of queens. I love that shit.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  And I know all the words, so I didn't even need the volume.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  And she kept looking at this fucking seating chart for a stadium for a softball game, right? And it was in Massachusetts and I knew he was going to Austin. And I was just like, I gotta figure out something to start a conversation with her, right? And I didn't want to say, oh, you just went to the bathroom. Did you take a dump? Like, what was that about? Was that cool? And so she came back and I was like, oh, you're going to a game? And she was like, no. And she like hit her phone and put it in her pocket. And I was like, okay, I'm just, I'm gonna fuck off for the next two hours and look out my window. Cause I got the window seat and another outburst like that, I'm gonna close the fucking shade. So you got one more of those lady.

• 25:36Matt McCusker?

  You were phone peeping, you tried to make a conversation.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Not a phone peeping, yeah, that might not be a good idea. I don't, I know.

• 25:40Matt McCusker?

  I phone peep, dude, I phone peep.

• 25:42Speaker 00

  You can't let people know your phone peeping.

• 25:44Matt McCusker?

  Letting them know.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  You've been going to a game?

• 25:47Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I, I saw a guy in like an airline uniform one time on his phone. I'm like sitting next to him, I'm like looking down. And it was full like, did you fuck this person? It was like, and then it was like him texting that person and they were going back and forth. And I was like,

• 26:00Speaker 02

  Scandalous.

• 26:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was very scandalous.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 26:02Matt McCusker?

  I was getting rocked up.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  I hope she did fuck him.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  I'm not phone peeping. I just have a massive erection for other reasons.

• 26:11Matt McCusker?

  I was just clocking his affair. I'm like, fuck dude, this fucking pilot's having an affair. That's so hot.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Of course he is. Why else are you a pilot? Don't marry a pilot. Okay. If you're out there and you're married to a pilot.

• 26:19Matt McCusker?

  I was a pilot?

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Brother, come on. What are you gonna do? Why?

• 26:23Speaker 00

  Well, like he was about to go fly the plane?

• 26:24Matt McCusker?

  No, he was, he was like doing like civilian flying.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 26:28Matt McCusker?

  So you know, like this flight attendant and pilot sometimes just hop on the plane and fly.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  Dude, that'd be hilarious.

• 26:32Matt McCusker?

  He was doing that. I was next to him and I was just clocking his phone. It was a lot of older people too, have that giant font. You can't help. I could read it from 40 yards away.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  Saw this Instagram reel the other day with just a lady at the Spurs game. Like there's so many Mexicans here. I didn't know they could afford it. It was just her with the giant font. It shows like, holy shit.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Do you know why they can afford it? Cause they work hard. And they're they're a very industrious people.

• 26:55Matt McCusker?

  You should text, you should do your own text at the game.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:58Matt McCusker?

  Was that the game where they won the like last second shot?

• 27:01Speaker 00

  I I don't know what game, it was just like a random, it didn't even, you couldn't even see the players, it just was the people zooming in on the ladies.

• 27:06Matt McCusker?

  It's also a funny way, just to like photoshop people's phones and just write the most whatever you want, like damn, that's fucked up, why would she text that? It's crazy.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  That's a power move. That could be the whole Instagram itself, right there, dude.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Hey, everybody, uh, real quick, I will be in Phoenix this weekend, this very weekend, I'll be at Phoenix, the Celebrity Theater. I'll be in Phoenix at the Celebrity Theater and then Tucson, Arizona on Saturday. Guys, I'm sorry, I'm just so sleepy, I woke up at four thirty this morning, unintentionally jockoed out, woke up at four thirty and um, just got after it, guys, I'm exhausted, I'm bushed, I'm absolutely bushed right now, but I won't be bushed when I'm in Phoenix and then Tucson this weekend. So come on out, guys, there's a um, there's a link to my website, mattmccusker.com in the show description or something, in some box beneath this video.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  Please come. Or don't, if you don't want to come, don't come, somebody do, I'll be shredded by summer. I'm actually on track to genuinely be shredded by summer, so that's, you know, you can't have it all. But I will be shredded either way, guys, have a good night, please come, bye.

• 28:18Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I've I've uh, so apparently there's people out there now, like, you know, when you see those like Instagram videos of like, I can make ten grand online, you know, I'll show you how to do it. I, this one guy, I was watching his video and he said he just like, has chat GPT, he's like, write a very sad fucked up story. And then he gets the, he like looks through him, he goes, yeah, that's pretty fucked up, then he goes, Sora, make a video about this. And then he just has AI, just write these like clickbait weird, or like, write the story then has a thing, AI, do the video. And he just spams them online, he goes, one of them's gonna hit and go viral, and you make like ten grand a month off of just one, and he's like, I work for like twenty minutes.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:57Matt McCusker?

  So that's such a weird, it's like those guys who like bet against the stock market, and it's like, you don't do any.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  And it's so easy though, like as soon as you said it, it's like, oh, I did, I s-

• 29:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I click them all the time.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:07Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck?

• 29:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  You would have to go to the gym regularly because you would never get tired from doing that.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  No.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  You would sleep terribly.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  You would actually.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. What, just sitting at home all day, just making AI fuck itself? That's weird. Just watching AI beat off over itself and like, here are sad stories, we can clickbait people.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  There is something sad about that too. I was watching, I'm like, man, that's kind of empty. Especially because it, it won't work if he made, make great stories, make happy stories, like, and then put those in videos, it'll get no traction.

• 29:36Matt McCusker?

  I know, it doesn't, it doesn't get-

• 29:38Speaker 00

  It's gotta be fucked up and sad.

• 29:39Matt McCusker?

  It's like a sad thing, like, and then her child died and she got ran over by a train and people are like, oh, it's just a nurse being like, oh my god. Oh, that's terrible.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  I'm feeling my own emotions.

• 29:51Speaker 00

  What, what was the guy? Could you see it, like, was the guy Indian guy?

• 29:53Matt McCusker?

  He was like a white guy, he was like a young, young white hot shot.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, I just, I just-

• 29:58Matt McCusker?

  Indian guy.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Was he talking up?

• 30:00Matt McCusker?

  Now they're working the phones, bro.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Was he a hashtag?

• 30:02Speaker 00

  AI heavy too.

• 30:04Matt McCusker?

  They are, you think they're AI heavy?

• 30:05Speaker 00

  I, I, that's what ta- There, there's a thing I've been noticing a lot, you know, I, I've told you before that my, my algorithm is all thoughts, but I've been noticing it's been Sly and then AI thoughts. And every now and again, the captions, like, it's like they forgot to hit the translator or whatever, and it's just Indian shit, but it's like, it's just ladies, it's just super real looking ladies that you gotta like squint and like notice weird movements or notice that they're all doing the exact same thing, but they're like quiet and they have like, they're verified accounts with OnlyFans linked to them. They're like doing AI pimping.

• 30:37Matt McCusker?

  That's what you said, the engines are up to right now.

• 30:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:39Matt McCusker?

  Pimping the fake ladies.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  So I didn't know they also pulled over to-

• 30:43Matt McCusker?

  What's wrong with engines?

• 30:44Speaker 02

  I don't know, I'm-

• 30:47Speaker 02

  I thought we eradicated that word in the eighteen fucking hundreds, but we can bring it back.

• 30:52Speaker 00

  Well, I'm talking about Indians from India.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  I don't, okay, we'll see how that- Yeah, I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, dude. I'm very expressive. I get. I literally have no filter and I try. I shouldn't have. No, that's fine. We call them.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  No, you're right. I shouldn't call Indians Indian. Indian, calling the Indians from India Indians.

• 31:10Speaker 02

  I don't even know. Yeah, dude, that's like, that's like second generation. That's like, and that's like racial inception.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Just go over to India and be like, you Native American? And we think, oh shit.

• 31:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  Fire back, dude. Clap back.

• 31:27Matt McCusker?

  What is fun, isn't that the whole thing from Christopher Columbus thinking he was like getting to India?

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:31Matt McCusker?

  Oh, look at these fucking guys.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  Yes, that's how fucking stubborn white people are, dude. It's fucking crazy to me.

• 31:37Matt McCusker?

  Too, because they call, they're called Indians.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  It didn't, I shouldn't have stuck. That's crazy. That'd be like you pulling up to a red light and being like, that's a purple light and everyone be like, no, that's absolutely red light. And you're like, well, we'll just kill everyone.

• 31:47Speaker 00

  Enough people calling it a purple light.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  What color is it now? Oh, it seems pretty purple to me, huh? Let's keep that rolling. We'll name baseball teams after it and everything.

• 31:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, even Native Americans, kind of, they're like, they're like, no, we're like an Iroquois or a Gomquin or whatever. So it's just funny, like, nah, we came up with your name.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just sticking with it.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Pretty rough, pretty, yeah. Dude, I wish we.

• 32:08Matt McCusker?

  It is boss on some level, but it's not good. It's definitely boss to be like, nah, look, like, this is your guys' identity. We figured it out for you.

• 32:16Speaker 00

  We're not gonna learn the rest.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  I wish if there was anything we could have culturally appropriated, um, from the Native Americans, it'd have been the naming system. We brought that over from Europe. Bro, come on, dude. I want to be running dog, dude.

• 32:28Matt McCusker?

  I'm with you on that.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Bro, wouldn't that be great? Nighthawk. Nighthawk Senior.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  That's my grandpa, Crazy Squirrel. You'd love him.

• 32:39Matt McCusker?

  Their naming system was, I'll give you that.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  It's superior.

• 32:41Matt McCusker?

  It was sick. I'm, I'm for, I, I, you know, nobody's with me on this one, but I'm all about a Native American president.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's go.

• 32:49Matt McCusker?

  Well, everyone, we've never had a Native American president.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  I feel like he would turn on the whites. You guys would be.

• 32:55Speaker 02

  Let it happen.

• 32:55Matt McCusker?

  What are you talking about?

• 32:56Speaker 00

  After, after what y'all did to them? You think they're not quietly holding a grudge?

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Let's open up this.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  I didn't do anything. I know, I know now, but historically.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  True.

• 33:06Speaker 00

  They got their little grudge in the back there, just on those. I was driving around Phoenix before and like, just the parts where they put, your people look like shit out there.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  It is not good.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  Like you hit like green and then it's just, you just, it just turns back into the desert as soon as you hit the reservation.

• 33:22Speaker 02

  And they're like, that's what you get.

• 33:24Matt McCusker?

  They got some bum lands for sure.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Yeah dude, I was in the Wind River, just like he said, bro. Wind River Mountains in somewhere, Wyoming, Montana, I don't know, I was driving. I didn't pay attention. Um, and you came up and like he said, bro, it was green mountains, beautiful, white people land. And then it was just barren desert. And like, welcome to the Indian Reservation. And right, I'm from, uh, this little town in Pennsylvania, well, like near Pittsburgh. And I was on this Indian Reservation, right? Nothing around. Took me three hours and 10 minutes to drive there through nothing. And I go in this little steak, uh, little convenience store, not even gas station. Everything's dusty, bro. I pull off this thing, it's Delalo. Fucking, and I was like, that's my hometown. I was like, there's no way. I didn't know that was a national thing. And I look and I was like, no, made in Jeanette, Pennsylvania. I was like, how? What truck came out here, bro?

• 34:07Speaker 00

  What is Delalo?

• 34:08Speaker 02

  It's, Delalo is like a li- a little Italian market in a fucking suburb of Pennsylvania. Like, I don't even know. It's not Pittsburgh. It's not Greensburg. Like there's, I don't think there's anything I could say that.

• 34:18Speaker 00

  And it made it all the way out to the rez?

• 34:19Speaker 02

  Brother, brother in Wyoming. I'm like, how? How'd you get out here, little guy? I just wanted to take him back home. I'll take you back, dude. You lost your way, dude. Come back.

• 34:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, nobody talks about the Native Americans ever. It's like, it's, they get like the, the littlest bit of lip service at like liberal colleges every now and again.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  There's nothing good we can say.

• 34:40Matt McCusker?

  And that's also kind of like a weird thing, but like, just, we're going to acknowledge the fact of this land. Anyway, here's what we're building here and it's going to be sick. It's going to be awesome.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  You guys get casinos. Let's get it.

• 34:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm, dude, the Native American president could be sick.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:54Speaker 00

  Could be.

• 34:55Matt McCusker?

  Dude, fucking the peace pipe in the Oval Office?

• 34:57Speaker 00

  I mean, that would honestly be the best thing.

• 34:59Matt McCusker?

  Be awesome.

• 35:00Speaker 00

  See him sitting down with ZG and Pig, smoking a peace pipe?

• 35:03Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it would be so fucking, especially, I, I, I would like to, and I don't want to get political here, but I would like to get away from, uh, having like 87 year olds as the president.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't have like a guy's cognitive decline.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  We need JFK too. Tokyo Drift.

• 35:18Speaker 00

  A guy's got not much time left on here, just making all our decisions.

• 35:21Matt McCusker?

  No, dude, we need, yeah, we need, I, I would say 50 is like the perfect age.

• 35:25Speaker 00

  Can I, can I have one more counter argument against the Native Americans though?

• 35:30Speaker 00

  They have historically taken so many Ls. I don't know. I don't know if you put them.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  We just went through a series of them taking L. Come on. L, bro. He's thinking about his country. Okay. Okay, are you ready for this? So let's look at the other side of the coin. Okay, so if you've taken every L possible, you've learned every fucking way to not do that shit again. True, true. That's how I got where I am today. Yeah, it's up. Yeah, true, true. I learned every lesson the hard motherfucking way. True, you're making a good point.

• 36:00Matt McCusker?

  What's the hardest lesson you ever learned?

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Oh my god, dude, look both ways before you cross that motherfucking road, cousin. Oh yeah, you got hit by a car. Cousin. What kind of car? Uh, Dodge Shadow 93 ES trim.

• 36:15Speaker 02

  Oh, how fast was it go? Forty-five miles an hour. Damn. Into twenty-five, cousin. Damn. I was three hundred and fifteen pounds at thirteen years old on my dad's stolen Trek mountain bike. I stole it from him. He didn't steal it. Yeah. It was rightfully his. I had no fucking right taking it. So let me bust this story down. Yeah, yeah. You got time? Let me bust this story down. Okay, so your boy was at home skipping school, not supposed to be doing it. And then his dad's bike was in the basement, the nicest possession in the Heider household. Not ever supposed to be touched by me, who broke every fucking thing he ever touched ever. I was a nightmare. They called me bits and pieces. I don't even think my mom knew my name. She just called me bits and pieces. Cause that's all the fuck I left when I.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  And so, okay, so I went down in the basement. I stole my dad's bike. It had a digital speedometer. It's important for later in the story. Foreshadowing. So I take it, I dip off. I'm gonna go to my boy Brandon's house. I'm gonna flex on the neighborhood, right? Pimp, pimp, pimp, hooray. So I go down and I, it's all downhill. So at three hundred and fifteen pounds on a bike downhill, it's fun. It's an easy game, dude. You could've flown. I could've. I didn't even touch the sidewalk, cut. So I get down there and I'm like, yo, look at this bike. It's tight, right? He's like, yeah, good point. Let's go on a bike ride. Our boy CJ just got hit by a car on his bicycle. We should go visit him. He's in danger, okay? And I was like, that does seem nice, but that's all downhill. And then I'm gonna have to pedal uphill to get home. And it's like, real, I already pedaled downhill to get here. I was like, all right, fuck it, right?

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Let's do it. Let's take him on for the team. Yeah. So I went down, visited CJ, right? His mom is in the alley telling the story. Hype, bro. We're in Johnstown. She ghetto. We're hype. She hit my baby, say she only doing 25 mile an hour. I know she wasn't doing no 25 mile an hour. She came down, she bam, she's like, look at my baby dude CJ. 68 pounds soaking wet with a pocketful of change, come out collarbone, but bro, he looked like fucking tiny tin. Fuck, he was ruined dude, ruined. So I was like, damn, all right, that ain't good. So I was like, flex, I got the speedometer on my bike right now. I'm gonna come down past 25 mile an hour, right? It's like.

• 38:14Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you're like checking.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  Exhibit A. Exhibit A.

• 38:18Matt McCusker?

  Exhibit. You're like, let's get this back straight. Through the court, you can be like, this boy was on a mountain bike and he clocked.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, someone come down at 25 and you gauge, right? With your eye, your calculated eye. If that was, this is worth my life. Okay. So I go up the hill, right? No flush, right? And uh, remember the calves? I got these calves, right?

• 38:37Matt McCusker?

  You got crazy calves, bro.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  So.

• 38:40Matt McCusker?

  Calves are fucking. You have like bodybuilder calves.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Thank you, I appreciate it. So even at like 13 years old, I had about 400, 450 pound feet of torque. Okay. So I put that bike in 37th gear, straight on it. When I just fucking started, bro, on this downhill, right? And I'm looking 21, 22. Next thing you know, nothing, bro. All I hear is glass shatter.

• 39:05Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Entire screech in that order. And that's important because she didn't hit the brakes until after this pack was done. Cause she was, well, she wasn't on her phone. We didn't even have phones back then. But anyway, so she hit, right? Okay. And let me tell it right here. So I actually, what happened was the bike, it was an inferred stop sign. She was doing 45, I was doing 22 and um.

• 39:26Matt McCusker?

  You could probably hit 23 by then.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Maybe. Bro, I was locked into the speedometer. I did not even look ahead of me.

• 39:31Matt McCusker?

  Ah.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Hundred percent. So she came and it could have been this, which me on the bike, her, it could have been this where she hit me. But it actually happened like this, where I just clipped her fender as she was going. And it sent me over her hood and then her windshield and roof caught my 315 pound supple child body. Okay. Bent the whole safety cage back. And at which point she said, oh, fucking shit, right? Cause my ass is in her mouth, probably.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, so she slams the brakes. Okay, and I go yeet, yeet, right? Twenty-eight feet through the air, another forty-five on my left ass cheek. And the only reason I know is because it's mostly missing. That could be afterthought if you want to look at that. So, um, I fly, right? And I didn't, I'm so stubborn, I didn't even know what the fuck happened. So I go to sit up, I'm like, what the fuck?

• 40:20Matt McCusker?

  Were your shoes off?

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Brother, let it happen. Hold on, one second. Let it happen, cart before the horse, okay? So, I sit up, I'm like, oh shit, dog damn, right? And I see a car antenna, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, down the road, but I'm keeping up with the motherfucker. Right? And I'm like, oh, that's wild and crazy. Okay? I'm moving. And then I feel the inertia, like you stop at a stoplight. And I'm looking, I'm like, I'm sitting in the middle of the fucking street. This is dangerous. So I go to get up, right? And I go, fat as shit, fat as shit. So I go to roll and get up in my little three-stage motion that you do, right? When you ain't got the upper body strength. And, um, and I go to step off the road and it felt like I stepped in a pothole. And I'm like, Johnstown City Works, damn it.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  And I look down and it just looks like my shoe's off, but it's, it's still attached to my foot and my calf is just on the ground. And my brain says, shut it down and start it back up. Something's wrong. So I bam, straight back down. Right? And so when I went down, I hit my head and all that. So I'm out and the whole neighborhood's holding me down. They're like, oh my God, right? And they're freaking out, bro. And I come to and I'm like, Brandon, because that's my boy I came with. That's the first thing I, Brandon, Brandon. And my fourteen-year-old friend, he can't even look at me, bro. He's like, he's dying. I can't look at my homie like that, cousin. Right? Because what I didn't know is there is a pool of blood puddling around my waist. So

• 41:36Matt McCusker?

  Cause of your ass?

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Well, that's, I know that now, but at the time, they just thought my inner organs busted like a water balloon and was leaking out of the closest hole it could find. Which just happened to be my asshole. Yeah. So everyone's like, man, dead man walking. You know what I mean? They're like, bro, don't move, don't move. So, long story short, they sent me to the hospital. They, they, well, they said, we're gonna have to catheterize you. And I was like, listen, I'm Christian. My grandma would not like that. We can't be doing that. I don't know what medically if that will help, but I just don't, they're like, no, we're gonna stick a tube in your dick. I was like, can I be Catholic? Is that still on the table? I will be Catholic if that's still on the table and they're like, no, we just got a bam. So, bro, yeah, pulling it out was the crazy part.

• 42:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Like she was starting a goddamn lawnmower, dude.

• 42:18Matt McCusker?

  She was yanking.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  Bro, she's like, hold up, hold up, hold up. Okay. Oh, hit the choke, hold up. Bang, boy, I was like, damn.

• 42:25Matt McCusker?

  Ah, he don't give you nothing for the bear to feel.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  It sucked a bed sheet up my ass, bro. It had so much fucking momentum, bro. It was insane.

• 42:32Matt McCusker?

  How long was the recovery?

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Uh, way too long. So I was 14. It just, this happened 10 days before summer vacation. And Brian Gunling said, if you're still out there, I appreciate you. I'm sorry. I fucked up all your work. That was my, um, leg specialist. So he rebuilt it, tibia, fibia clean through, because my leg wrapped around her A pillar like a snap bracelet. So it had dusted everything that was connecting. So they pinned and plated it all back together. He did a wonderful job. But I was a 315 pound fucking 14 year old that was not taking no on summer vacation. And I started walking on that. And if you look to this day, bro, I have the arthritis of a 90 year old man. You'll see me. Bro, get, if we ever go somewhere in a car for six hours, watch how I get out. Make fun of me.

• 43:15Matt McCusker?

  Where you can't.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Live stream it. Brother, brother, I make all the noises, old people noises.

• 43:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. That's fair.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  And my favorite hobby is driving cars that are slammed to the ground. And I'm like, this is, yeah, I literally, it's like that fucking Leonardo getting out of, on Wolf of Wall Street. I just lay down and fucking crawl out. Yeah, dude, it's a car. No, no big deal.

• 43:35Matt McCusker?

  You like, you like them slammed to the ground?

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, well, it's the only ones that are cool. I don't like trucks. Even that'd probably be a whole nother issue. I'd have to get a fucking ladder.

• 43:43Matt McCusker?

  Do you, so you worry you're gonna, I mean, I have to, you know, take away from almost dying. Were you worried about scraping the undercarriage? Or you slam load to the ground?

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah. The Miata, literally, my Miata has state, are you talking about my asshole? Because I've done that too.

• 43:55Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm talking about the car.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Okay, I've hit road debris that I felt my asshole.

• 43:58Matt McCusker?

  No, dude.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Hundred percent. Hundred percent. Like you, because it's, you're right, brother, cousin, you're right there. You hit like a bushing that fell off a fucking old truck and it, that floor panel, like it don't touch you.

• 44:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but you feel the floor.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, it's like if you put a fucking trash can lid on your ass and I hit it with a hammer.

• 44:13Matt McCusker?

  That's true.

• 44:14Speaker 02

  Oh, that was a close one.

• 44:15Matt McCusker?

  So what's up with, what's up with the, so?

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Oh, Miata has stainless steel frame rails.

• 44:19Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Because I planned for that. So it literally has 302 stainless steel. I could 50 50 grind my Miata down a, I could six set of stairs.

• 44:26Matt McCusker?

  Fucking sick.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude. As long as I don't blow out the oil panel.

• 44:29Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Golden. But if I wrecked, I mean, I'm fucking dead. It's literally a skateboard.

• 44:33Matt McCusker?

  So you healed up and do you have to fix your legs after you were like thrashing around?

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, okay. Well, what do you mean? Like, yeah, they they pin plated it all together. And then after I fucked it all up, right? I went back as an adult and I'm like, I'm sorry, guys, right? I was young, immature. I'm new. I've grown, right? And they're like, yeah, you got, we could do something like, we'll break your fucking leg. Right? And we'll remove your ankle completely because you can't have arthritis in something you don't have. That's that's a cool trick we learned. And we'll just fucking mount your foot straight to your fucking leg like Cotton Hill. From King of the Hill, you know, blow out your ankle. And then, yeah, and then you could just stab the clutch from your fucking hip. Like, how am I gonna?

• 45:08Matt McCusker?

  So you don't have like ankle flexion?

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Not there would be nothing. I I've never got it done. Because they're like, that's the option. I was like, I'll just.

• 45:14Matt McCusker?

  Deal.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll stay.

• 45:16Matt McCusker?

  Damn, you would have had like a G I Joe foot. Just straight. That's fucking wild.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Like, do I at least get to pick the angle? I was like, what if I want to wear high heels?

• 45:23Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  One six inch pump and a prosthetic like orthopedic fucking.

• 45:32Matt McCusker?

  You should have just went and got the full fucking height surgery where they like break your legs and lengthen them. You could have got.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, while you're in there type shit. Yeah. That's called scope creep.

• 45:41Matt McCusker?

  Scope creep.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's when you go in. So let's say you go in, right? Because you just want to break your leg so you could fix it. And you're like, well, while you're in there, why don't you give me extra leg surgery? And they're like, well, we got this new hydraulic leg surgery to make you jump really high. We'll already be in there. And like, well, while you're in there. So now what started out as a $3,000 fixer upper, now you're 55 grand in aftermarket supplies. That's scope creep.

• 46:02Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  While you're in there.

• 46:03Matt McCusker?

  Home Depot contractor.

• 46:07Matt McCusker?

  So what's the, you know, what's the, what's the plan going forward, dude? What are you, what are you up to?

• 46:11Speaker 02

  In life?

• 46:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  That's a great question, right?

• 46:13Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Just wing it. That's what I've been doing so far. I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far. I'm one of those people that just look back like, damn. That's a holy shit. Huh? Because I look back at like all, like, a lot of the kids I grew up with and stuff, right? And I like, even growing up. Like, because I like, you know, there wasn't much structure there.

• 46:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  So I was just like, man.

• 46:31Matt McCusker?

  What part of PA? Like, where's your PA town? Like, where did you grow up? What's it called?

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Johnstown.

• 46:35Matt McCusker?

  Johnstown, okay.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  Johnstown, Pennsylvania. What's up?

• 46:38Matt McCusker?

  Was that, was that close? Because me and Nate drove and we were, we drove from Ohio to Pittsburgh and we were all pumped to see Youngstown where Bone Thugs was from. That's close, right?

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Maybe. No? I think that's closer to Pittsburgh. No?

• 46:51Matt McCusker?

  It's close to Pitts. It definitely is. We were like all pumped because we kept seeing Youngstown. We're like, we were listening to Bone Thugs the whole time, just fucking being dorks.

• 46:59Speaker 00

  Two hours of Bone Thugs.

• 47:00Matt McCusker?

  And I thought it was like, it's gotta be coming up. We're in Ohio. It's gotta be right here. It's like on the edge. Literally, I think it's the last town before you hit Pitt.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Johnstown, Ohio.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  No, no, no. Youngstown.

• 47:10Matt McCusker?

  Youngstown.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Youngstown, yeah.

• 47:11Matt McCusker?

  It's where Bone Thugs is from.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 47:13Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know if you knew it at all.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, well, I know of Youngstown. Yeah, yeah.

• 47:16Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  We don't go there.

• 47:17Matt McCusker?

  Oh, okay.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  It's just another hood.

• 47:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 47:19Matt McCusker?

  I got you.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  I'm like, I'm already from the hood. I don't gotta go hood business.

• 47:21Matt McCusker?

  You're not gonna go. Not even if Bone Thugs is from.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, me, I just bum bum bum bum. I hear Crossroads, I think about my uncle Charles, yo. I cry every time, but yeah.

• 47:30Matt McCusker?

  You don't need to go.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  No, I don't. When he touch, remember in Crossroads where he, when he touched that man, his eyes turned black?

• 47:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  And I miss my uncle Charles, yo. He's gonna be gone in front of his home. Oh, dude. Don't get me started.

• 47:43Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  That's why I didn't want to, that's, you had to edge me on. Now I'm here.

• 47:49Matt McCusker?

  So what's the plan? What's the plan going forward?

• 47:50Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna keep working, bro. I'm gonna keep doing it. If anybody wants to make me famous, I'll get famous.

• 47:55Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  If you, I mean, you know, I'm gonna, you know?

• 47:58Matt McCusker?

  Keep grinding out the content.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  I mean, I.

• 48:01Matt McCusker?

  Can we, can we pull up one of the, I just want the videos are, dude, the videos are fucking amazing.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  Show me one that made me happy. What's the key? The one you just showed me with the glove? Were you, I don't know. I don't know.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. No, I never posted that. Cause that's one of those things. I never posted. Cause I was like, bro.

• 48:13Speaker 00

  I'm thinking about it. I don't know if it should go on the screen.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  There it is.

• 48:16Speaker 00

  Here it is. This is.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  This one changed my life.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Devil egg tray.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  We got you, dog. All day. That was probably the most expensive one I'll hear about in the comments. My man got deviled egg trays for deviled egg days.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  He thought we were out. Oh, no.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Happy Easter.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Twenty-seven minute video.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  This shit gets deep.

• 48:53Matt McCusker?

  It's a lot of deviled eggs.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Insane, primarily egg diet.

• 48:56Matt McCusker?

  So in terms of like encountering people living in the house.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  I hate that.

• 49:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 02

  I like finding them dead better.

• 49:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I would, I would, I swear to God, I would say it's scary, dude.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  One time, so one time, a long, long time ago, I came into this house, right? And just like typical shit, bro, I break in, I usually don't even think someone's in there because it's so uncommon. And um, I go in and the house is warm and I'm like, ew, that's creepy. And then I like walk in, I get hit in the neck with some drip and like, oh, the drip is warm. I hate this. And then I get in the living room and dude, oh, oh, a very important part, see this one is not even significant to me. The whole house is a canyon of horde. The only thing to walk through is a canyon and it is eye fucking level trash. And then you start getting down and it starts getting wetter and wetter and wetter till it turns into dirt. Because it's been there so long that, you know.

• 49:51Matt McCusker?

  It just disintegrates.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  It just, the paper and everything turns back into dirt. So I'm like walking through this, I'm like, this is crazy. And like I said, it's fucking eye level, dude. And I get into the living room and the lights are on, it's warm, it's weird. But again, you don't assume somebody's fucking in here, dude. Like, it's so easy for me to like disassociate that somebody lives like that. But, so this fucking chihuahua, fucking Yorkie mix, bro, starts just like Simba in The Lion King, like pouncing over these fucking canyon towards me, barking. And I'm like, this motherfucker's eye level, like the playing field has been leveled here.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  This is not good for me, okay? Like usually it's not scary because they're on the ground, but this motherfucker is heightened and he has toxic damage too. Charging through shit, dude, I'm scared, okay?

• 50:38Speaker 02

  So he's coming at me and I hear a voice, well, I forget the dog's name, but she was like, get away from him or something. And I'm like, oh no. I'm like, I'm with the bang. I don't know. And she's like, did Martha send you? I was like, I don't know Martha, I'm not, and it was dude, there was this lady that was. Big girl. You ever see what's eating Gilbert crate?

• 50:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  You ever see his mom?

• 50:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:59Matt McCusker?

  Just this big girl living in the trash.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  Bro, that's, she can't leave.

• 51:03Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  You eat your weight and you can't leave. Cause once you get bigger than a door thirty six inches. So, keep a tape measure on deck if you're getting there.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Cause I'm just saying, there's gonna be a time that you leave your house for the last time.

• 51:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she was entombed.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  Unless you go out to eat, then you won't be able to get back in, which is probably a better problem to have.

• 51:21Matt McCusker?

  Oh fuck, so she was, she was just part of the house.

• 51:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, they call that landlocked.

• 51:25Matt McCusker?

  Why can't the, why can't the bank just respect that?

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:29Matt McCusker?

  It's like, yeah, I know you guys, three hundred eighty five thousand dollars, but I am become one with this house.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, they'll shut that shit down, throw you in the street and give the, the subsidiary to someone who deserves it. I mean, they don't deserve, I mean, I, it's not, no, I'm sorry. It's not me to say anything about that, but it's just, it's hard for me to imagine letting shit go that far, right? Cause I, just I've let my life go pretty far and I'm like, I know what it takes to hit a rock bottom. Like, I couldn't imagine hitting that rock bottom, being like, this ain't that bad.

• 51:56Matt McCusker?

  I know, dude.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Let's keep it rolling.

• 51:58Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's amazing.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  You ever find out what fell on you, what dripped on your net?

• 52:02Speaker 02

  Sewage.

• 52:02Speaker 00

  Sewage, okay, just straight from, okay.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, no big deal.

• 52:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, my, my.

• 52:06Speaker 02

  They're hot shitting.

• 52:07Speaker 00

  Oh, hot shit.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  You know, hot shit.

• 52:09Matt McCusker?

  My uncle got me at that one time. We were all like working together and I had, early, like a year before, prank called my uncle, funny enough, as the bank. Cause he had just bought this house and he's all, he's all pumped up and I called him being like, hey, this is TD Bank, uh, there's a second mortgage on your home. And I had the address and I was like clacking the keyboard the whole time. It sounded really official.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  Sold it.

• 52:28Matt McCusker?

  Sold it, dude. He, I was like, well, you know, it's like eighty seven thousand dollar second mortgage. You, you didn't, I'm surprised you, they didn't come up with that at like title. They should have showed you that. And there, he was like, just bugging out, ah, ah, and I'm like, I'm like, just come down here, we'll figure it out. Probably just put a lien on your house. I was like, what's your mother's maiden name? He's like, I'm not telling you a goddamn, he's just fast and hung up. He ended up calling my whole family, he was calling my dad, my aunt, and he was just like freaking out and they're all like, what the fuck? That sounds crazy, like, and then I told my dad what I did and he was like, that's the funniest thing in the world. So they're all laughing. Eventually he found out, my dad was like, dude, my, it was my son, he was fucking with you. And, uh, my uncle was, he holding, he still holds a grudge to this day about, it's been.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Obviously.

• 53:06Matt McCusker?

  Maybe twelve years.

• 53:08Speaker 00

  Was that honest?

• 53:10Matt McCusker?

  No, no, that's my cousin. I don't know if Hoss would have went to the, actually, he actually, my uncle did go to the bank and started arguing with them in person.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  Why would you let that cook? I would have broke that for the end of the call.

• 53:21Matt McCusker?

  Me and my cousin in high school and we're like just fucking around calling people. I'm like, oh, this would be funny. It was like not even premeditated and it was just a flawless prank that it just fucked them up. And we were, they were knocking down a, cause they all do demolition. They were knocking down an old grocery store. And I was just standing there talking to everyone and he, we like saw each other and he just grabbed one of the pipes and bent it towards me and all that nasty water. I was like, fair, fair. I was like, I'll take it. Fair enough. That stuff is nasty. It was kinda nice. He just went, it was like one of those like fat copper pipes. Tilt it down. I was like, oh.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Those sewage guys are a whole nother breed, bro.

• 53:58Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  I had to call one to my house. Cause like, that's not me. I'm not fiddling around in that. And it was like backing up to my basement. Okay. And it like, my house sits up high. So it had this whole slope. Okay. Then down to the street. So we're talking 75 feet of three inch pipe filled with doo doo and buku berries. Okay. The whole nine, bro. The whole nine. And he's like trying to find it and this and that and the third. And he goes out to the street and there's like a little turn. And he turns it and he's like, I found it, bro. And he jams this fucking giant snake, bro. This giant, and it hits this thing and he's he's standing right over it, like looking down into it. Like that's, I know better than that. You shank do that, right? And he busts that thing loose and what it happened to be was bacon grease. Cause you know, I'm used to renting. I'm still not.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  So bacon grease and literally a five gallon bucket of undigested peanuts. Cause I was going through a crunchy peanut butter face at that point.

• 54:52Matt McCusker?

  That's keto life.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Dude, and bro, I cannot just, I literally had to like get the squirrels out of my yard for months. Cause they were like, so this thing breaks loose, this fucking hardball of break bacon grease and then like a fire hydrant of peanuts. And he's sitting there loving it, dude. He's like excited. Like he was waiting for Old Faithful to go off in it. He's like, I got it. I'm like, you're standing in it, bro. This ain't fucking Splash Mountain, bro. Fuck out of there, cousin.

• 55:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that is, that is wild. The pump plumbing is something I could never. Just turds all day?

• 55:23Speaker 02

  All day for fun.

• 55:25Matt McCusker?

  But anytime you meet a plumber, they felt like they're built for it. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're that guy.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  True. I used to be in the car industry. Well, okay, I used to be in the customer service industry hard.

• 55:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Right? Cause I was a big boy. So my mom was always like, you're never be get a job working on your feet.

• 55:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Not gonna happen.

• 55:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  Let's cut that shit short. You want an SSI check or you want a desk job? You know what I mean? I was like, okay, desk job. Good point. So I go, right? Real, real, real good mom there.

• 55:52Speaker 02

  But um, so I go and I get desk job after desk job and I'm good at it, right? Cause I'm personable, right? I'm likable. Cause we move schools all the time. That's how I got either good friends or you stay alone.

• 56:02Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  So let's keep it rolling. So I got good at making friends. So customer service, right? And I desk job, desk job, desk job. But every six months, I'm like, man, what do you think dying's like? It has to be better than this, right?

• 56:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  So I'm like, man, that's something to think about. We'll put that on the back.

• 56:24Matt McCusker?

  Truly, I guess.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  So I'm just gonna keep doing my desk job and trying to figure out why I'm so sad.

• 56:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  Right? And then the ultimate happened, right? My, uh, the pandemic happened in this order, bro. Pandemic happened. I almost died in traffic on the way home from getting fired from my job. And then as I got home, I got a whole new lease on life, made dinner for my wife and she got home and divorced me.

• 56:47Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 56:47Speaker 02

  And then the next day I wake up and I'm like, okay, I don't have a job. I have a whole new lease on life and I'm out of wife. What does your boy do? Right? And I was like, hmm, let's collect this.

• 56:57Matt McCusker?

  I love what.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Pandemic money, right?

• 57:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  I'm schizophrenic. I'm not gonna lie, bro. I never know who's showing up for dinner.

• 57:05Matt McCusker?

  Well, the new lease on life with the firing, the new lease on life, nice. Sudden divorce. That's like, whoa.

• 57:12Speaker 02

  It was in 12 hours.

• 57:13Matt McCusker?

  Dude.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  Bing bang, bing bang, bang.

• 57:15Matt McCusker?

  And then pandemic.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I literally got rebirthed. I was, I woke up the next morning with placenta on me. I was like, this is, I've never had such a tangible moment. Okay.

• 57:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  Let's cook, dog.

• 57:26Matt McCusker?

  Pandemicked up for like a couple of years there?

• 57:29Speaker 02

  Well, what was the question?

• 57:30Matt McCusker?

  So you, and you rode that right into the pandemic?

• 57:33Speaker 02

  Well, that was the pandemic. I got fired because of the pandemic.

• 57:36Matt McCusker?

  Wow, dang it.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  Dude, it like big, big, big, big bang me. Like all like, it was all rapid fire, bro. So, um. Well, actually, I got laid off. I was going home from a layoff. I gotta specify, because if anyone's listening, like, he didn't get fired that day. I was going home from a layoff. Bro, they laid me off, and then the guy who laid me off got fired, and they never brought me back.

• 57:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  So call that what the fuck you want to call that. But I got a technicality, okay? If anyone wants out there.

• 57:57Matt McCusker?

  They just cut an entire branch off the plant. They're just like, alright, fuck yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  And I was dangling on a security rope attached to it.

• 58:05Speaker 02

  Okay, bye. So then I wrote out that pandemic money, right? Because your boy Donnie was flapping me with them $600 stimmys.

• 58:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  And I was getting unemployment, and I was getting, you know, Corey Heider's from the street monies. So your boy was, I was like, I'm making more money.

• 58:21Matt McCusker?

  You're killing it.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Unemployed and divorced.

• 58:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  This is a fucking, okay.

• 58:26Matt McCusker?

  Who knew?

• 58:27Speaker 02

  I know an upstroke when I see one, you know? So I wrote that out, and then I got bored, right? Because I was like, okay, well, this is, not having a job's crazier than a desk job.

• 58:36Matt McCusker?

  It's weird. It is, especially if you're used to having a job. When you stop having a job, it's a fucking weird feeling.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  I crave structured activity, bro.

• 58:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Hard. I'm like waking up with nothing to do. It's gonna get fucked up quick.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  When you're cranking your hog by 9:30 in the morning, you're like, damn, this is only downhill from here.

• 58:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's when you start doing the darker corners of Craigslist.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  You want to do human trafficking, looking at my ship suit? You know what I'm gonna do? You know, I don't know. Fuck, Dark Web, I heard's fun this time of year.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  So my boy calls me, right? And all those video, well, the videos I post, right? And the shit that, you know, I know what he does. And he's like, why don't you come work with me? And I was like, no. I was like, that's when you say you're bored, and your mom's like, wash the dishes. I'm like, that's not fun.

• 59:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  No, that's not what I meant. And he's like, just come on, dude, I need help. So I just started helping him, and then I fell in love with it, and then you become normalized that shit. And then I was like, damn, I'm an outside cat this whole time. I thought I was an indoor cat, bro.

• 59:34Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy. So you didn't have any, like, instruction experience before that?

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 59:38Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Nope. I will, I would fuck around on my own, accord, building cars and fucking shit up.

• 59:44Matt McCusker?

  You're handy, you're handy and stuff, yeah.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  Oh, and dude, when I was a kid, I could build a bong out of anything. By 12 years old, I ripped apart literally the entire Radio Shack catalog and rebuilt it. Built it at one point. That's what I did as a kid. Cause I figured out, bro, at five years old, this blows my mind. I think this is the peak of my whole peakedness. At five years old, bro, I figured out how an internal combustion engine worked. Cause I couldn't figure out how the tire span. I was like, if the tire spins, something's got to spin to spin that. And then something's got to spin to spin that. And then something's got to spin to spin that. But eventually it's got to be a reciprocating motion. So how do you turn a reciprocating motion into a spinning motion? And I had this toy steam train that had the wheel with the And I looked at turn the reciprocating into, I was like, I bet that's it. And that's literally how an engine works. Now, if I was Japanese, I would have figured out the Wankel rotary engine right there on the spot.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  But I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. So, you know, there's always the first place.

• 1:00:33Matt McCusker?

  I had that. Cause I remember being like a little boy and I was like, I had the weed whacker and I like took it apart to do something. And I was like, I'm gonna take it apart. This is my seminal moment of becoming like a mechanical minded man. I took the weed whacker apart and just was like, fuck. Called my dad. I was like, dad, the weed whacker's kind of messed up. The fuck's going on with it?

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:00:52Matt McCusker?

  Whole thing. I was trying to add the string and it got all fucked up. And he's like, what the fuck?

• 1:00:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Never tried to really fix anything ever since.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  I was just always mechanical. And then people were like, you're likeable. I was like, okay, I'll lean into that. Cause I've never ever had confidence in every, I've literally never had confidence in anything I've ever done. And if, you know, like this whole Instagram thing, it started as a Snapchat. So I used to send my friends. They're like, post that shit, dude. You're You're killing it. Like this is funny. I'm the only one that sees it. You know what I mean? It's crazy. And then if you ever look, my Instagram handle is Heider Corey. Like I had to look myself up in the phone book. Like I didn't know my fucking name. And that's because the Instagram was an accident, bro. I was like, working at a gas station with my fat sweaty leg. And it pocket dialed, because I was like on Facebook and I put it in there and it like opened Instagram. Started Instagram automatically from Facebook. Like I clicked things with my leg. And I pulled it out of my pocket and Heider Corey Instagram was logged in. I was like, what the fuck is that?

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  And I just canceled it and looked out and I never opened it again for five, six years. And then boy was like, yo, start posting that shit. And I opened Instagram Heider Corey. And I was like, let's do it. I've thought about changing my name so many times, but I was like, I just imagine waking up with zero followers and like, Was it worth it? Or should I just been Heider Corey? It's not a lot. I'm not wrong, but all right.

• 1:02:04Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, man, can't thank you enough, dude.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:06Matt McCusker?

  We did it.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  We did it.

• 1:02:07Matt McCusker?

  I knew, I knew it would be fucking rad.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  We guys want to do now. We go Goodwill?

• 1:02:11Matt McCusker?

  Let's go chill. Yeah.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:12Matt McCusker?

  Let's go chill. Let's go walk the streets.

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  We're gonna fuck this place up.

• 1:02:17Matt McCusker?

  Dude, thank you, man. Yeah, just go on, what is it, Heider Corey?

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  Heider Corey, Blue Collar Corey, Corey Mega Heider.

• 1:02:23Matt McCusker?

  Corey Mega Heider.

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  That's on Facebook. That's my own personal Facebook because Instagram was like, yo, start a Facebook. And I was like, I have a Facebook. So I grew my own personal Facebook with like all the pictures I didn't want to have in social media and all that. I was like, fuck it, we'll just grow it. And I grew it to 80,000. They're like, oh, he meant a page, not a profile. I was like, you piece of shit. Fuck. So that's why, yeah, dude, that's why I grew that page, Blue Collar Corey. And bro, I killed it there, two months. The first month, I had 130 million views.

• 1:02:48Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy. It's awesome.

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  For just being a fucking dickwad from the hood. That's crazy. That's insane, dude.

• 1:02:54Matt McCusker?

  That is awesome.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 1:02:55Matt McCusker?

  Now you gotta monetize, you gotta sell like a t-shirt or something.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  I know. That's, we're working on it. I think there's a lot of avenues. I think, honestly, me and the boys are, I think Phillip, your boy from Rough House are gonna get, yeah, I think we're gonna get on. I gotta do it. I'm just a, it's really, I don't mean to get down on it, but it's really hard for me to place a bet on myself.

• 1:03:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  Like legit, like it's just so instilled in my DNA. Like, bro, your last place, just make do with it. You know what I mean? Like, it's crazy. And I don't know if the amount of therapy or something can change that. And if it does, what if I'm not funny anymore? You know what I mean? Like, what if, because you know how trauma takes it, right? We've, I'm sure you've experienced trauma. I know you had a fucking trauma.

• 1:03:40Matt McCusker?

  No, I think you just, I would just rock it. I would just keep rocking it, dude. Just let it rip. Yeah, let it rip. Don't second guess yourself. I know what you mean. It feels weird and it's like, just rock it out.

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  I've never been cocky to pick a bet on myself.

• 1:03:52Matt McCusker?

  Thing is too, is like, what the fuck? You know, you know how to do it. If it doesn't work out, you're like, there's no,

• 1:03:57Speaker 00

  You're just back to,

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:58Matt McCusker?

  Back to square one.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Risk free.

• 1:04:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  That's why I just like never quit working or like, you know, or never like leaned into it or went to, like I do stand up every once in a while, but the stand up scene in Pittsburgh is crazy.

• 1:04:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Dude, I would like, I'd be like, I think this is like an AA meeting. I think an AA meeting is funnier than this.

• 1:04:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the open mic comedy is pretty. Sad as it gets. That's one of the underworlds. We mentioned desk, sitting desk jobs. That's an underworld. Open mics are an absolute underworld as well.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  It was crazy. I was talking to this one guy. I was like, I was like, so like, we were talking. He's like, oh, I'm not even funny. And I was like, you're not funny? I was like, you're gonna do stand up? And he's like, yeah, I just, you know, I think some of these people, bro, they have a horrible social anxiety. And it's like cutting themselves, like, like self harm. Do you know what I mean? That's their, I'm gonna go up on stage and just fucking bomb. Oh dude, and everyone's gonna hate me. And it's gonna be that social anxiety that I fear in my head, but I'm gonna live it real. And at the end, it's gonna be over. It's gonna be the coming probably. You know what I mean? Just like, there's people that hurt themselves.

• 1:04:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Or people that do weird things. It's just like, fucking.

• 1:04:57Matt McCusker?

  It's, yeah, it's fucked up.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Bully me, I'm gonna come.

• 1:05:02Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that'd be kinda sick. If that worked, that'd be awesome.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, there's always.

• 1:05:06Matt McCusker?

  I wish I came after I bombed.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, new, new set.

• 1:05:13Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, thank you so much, man.

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Certainly.

• 1:05:15Matt McCusker?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Thank you. I appreciate it.

• 1:05:17Matt McCusker?

  Of course, man. Dude rocked.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  I feel like this is a monumental moment. This is gonna be on my tombstone.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  I'm so excited.

• 1:05:26Matt McCusker?

  Dude, thank you, man.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Yes, sir.

• 1:05:27Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna pee.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Thank you. I never know when we're done. Are we done?