E557 The Inauguration

Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about his trip to the Inauguration, the wild group he was paired with during the ceremonies, and his side of the now-viral chair incident… ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Morgan & Morgan: If you or someone you know has lost a loved one, a home, a business or property because of the California wildfire, you can check out Morgan & Morgan today. For more information go to CaliWildfireLawsuit.com/theo. BlueCube: Head over to https://www. BlueCubeBaths.com and get $1,000 off when you mention Theo’s name. Valor Recovery: To learn more about Valor Recovery please visit them at https://valorrecoverycoaching.com/ or email them at [email protected] Symmetry Sauna: https://www.symmetrysauna.com/theo ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Cam https://www.instagram.com/cam__george/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9:00 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 0:41Theo Von?

  I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. I have some tour dates to let you know about. East Lansing, Michigan, February 27th, we'll be performing there. Victoria, B.C. in the Canada on March 16th. College Station, Texas.

• 1:26Theo Von?

  Belton, Texas, over there. Oxford, Mississippi, in the hottie toddy belt. Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Nashville, Tennessee, my home currently, and maybe forever. We'll see how God does the zoning in my life. Winnipeg in the Canada, and Calgary in the Canada, right there. Get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. Thank you so much for your support. And this is still the Return of the Rat Tour. I think we're gonna end this tour at some point this year, but that's the one it is for now. Um, thank you. Good day, son.

• 2:06Theo Von?

  I said, good day. It's been a week. It's been a week. What's been happening? Oh, this I am. Good day. First of all, let me say that to you. And this is the day that we have been given. And um, yeah, and I'm happy to be here and alive with you today on planet Earth at this time in existence. And here we are. Um, what is going on? I'll tell, oh, this I fricking, um, I'm in Los Angeles, right? And I forgot that I have a Jeep Cherokee out here. And um, it's probably

• 2:48Theo Von?

  maybe six, seven years old or something. And I forgot that um, I wasn't driving my car at home, right? In Nashville. So the other day, I thought my car got stolen. So I called the um, police or whatever, or you know, yes, the author, authorities, they come, the guy, we're standing, I'm like telling him, describing uh, my car, which is a Cybertruck, and I know that's alarming. And it makes a lot of people sad, and that's okay. Um, but I'm describing, and it is, it's a, it's very, it's, it's like driving like a um, molar filling for the Statue of Liberty. You

• 3:32Theo Von?

  just feel like you're driving this huge molar filling for some gigantic thing. But um, anyway, besides all that, I called the police, I'm telling the guy, uh, took a while, waited probably 40 minutes, I'm telling the officer, explaining the vehicle and stuff, and I reach in my um, pants, I have car keys, right? I have car keys. And the guy, and I said, well, these are the keys to it. And I gave them to him. And he presses the button and the fucking

• 4:06Theo Von?

  dude, I uh, the car, the car was like fucking five cars away.

• 4:13Theo Von?

  I thought that I had, I was driving my Cybertruck. I just forgot. I thought I was driving my truck and I just, I forgot because I, I just hadn't been in Los Angeles in so long and I just forgot that I was driving this Cherokee, the Jeep. So, the Jeep, like I'm a multi-car owner. But, um, anyway, absolutely embarrassing and just ridiculous and just, you know, I was like, I was to describe the vehicle to him, you know, and describe the vehicle. And first of all, when you're describing a Cybertruck, you're like, yeah, it looks like a, uh, if you fucking, it's a fucking, you know,

• 4:55Theo Von?

  it looks like a UFO that couldn't make it, you know, that's kind of what, you know, it's just very, it's like, you know, it looks like a, uh, like you're driving a sand wedge or something.

• 5:07Theo Von?

  So just that, that alone is, is bizarre. And then, I was like, yeah, I don't know what happened. I ran inside here for a little bit and I came out and it was gone. So I'm telling them that and then I have the keys and then I, I think I, that's where my glitch was. I was like, yeah, and I guess I, I still have the keys and I give them to him. He fucking presses the thing, the keys to the, uh, my Jeep and bam, it's fucking right there. So, anyway, whatever. That's where I'm at. Um, what else? Let's get into it, man. I just got back from the inauguration in the USA and I was, uh, let's play some, let's play, let's lead into it with a little instrumental.

• 6:07Theo Von?

  U, USA.

• 6:13Theo Von?

  Inauguration.

• 6:25Theo Von?

  Very beautiful. That's Canon in D major right there. If you're into that sort of thing.

• 6:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, I was just, I took a red eye flight and so I got in probably 6:30 in the morning. Had to get dressed in the car and took this suit that I have on. Got dressed in the car, went to, got dropped off at a hotel, right? And you couldn't, you couldn't go within like five blocks of the hotel. You had to, there, you couldn't drive up to it. So got dropped off, so I'm just walking and it's cold, you know, when you're like, you know, you're hurrying because we had to get there by a certain time, by 8 a.m. to make sure that I could be like legit or whatever.

• 7:14Theo Von?

  So I guess, so I'm changing in this thing and I didn't know the man. The man, the driver of the car that picked me up, he was a, he was from a, like a United Nations area or whatever. You know what I'm saying? He, this guy was a, he, we probably got him in a trade or something. I don't know how we got him. But he didn't speak a lot of English and that's okay. And I didn't speak a lot of his language. So we just were, you know, we were different. We were verbally kind of different people. And so anyway, I'm like, and I've never, you know, I'd have to change in this car. And so it's just like,

• 7:56Theo Von?

  yeah, it's weird. First of all, I had to change down to complete nudity, you know, down to just,

• 8:03Theo Von?

  you know, just down to the Lord's mat finish. You know what I'm talking about? Maybe that first layer. And so it was just a lot, you know? So anyway, that happened and, and so anyway, we get, we get like, you can only get within five blocks of this hotel to where I had to go check in by 8 a.m. And it was called Hotel Wilfred. Hotel Wilfred, wrote it down. And it was fancy. I mean, you go in. And there's like a, there's like a trump, like somebody has a trumpet or whatever. They're not even playing it, but they're holding it or whatever, like a guy standing by the door. And there's some guy whose job, he stands outside, his only job is to just be cold.

• 8:49Theo Von?

  He just looks cold, he's like, you know, it's like a nice place. It's like, like a place you would see on Home Alone where he goes, where Kevin goes. And, but yeah, there's a guy out, out front. His job is just to get cold for the rich people inside. So they don't have to do that, right? So he's just outside just being fucking freezing. That guy was out there, dude. And so I go inside and there's nice carpet and everything.

• 9:14Theo Von?

  And this wasn't where I was staying. This place was probably, I don't even know how much it was. But they wouldn't like, it was a lot. But anyway, everything had carpet, the walls had carpet, the ceiling had carpet, everything had kind of flooring or whatever, everything. And, but very fancy, like pictures of, um, like, uh, like rich, somebody rich eating something, you know? Like, oh, um, sirloin or whatever. So anyway, all that shit. So go in there and ask to use the restroom. They had a guy, like the place was nice. They had a guy who was just looking at you, who looked like,

• 9:55Theo Von?

  do we let this dude use our toilets type of dude, you know, like kind of like a shit bouncer, whatever they call it, you know, just a dude. And he looked at me and I could tell he was like visually on the fence, right? But then I kind of gave him like a, you know, I can handle it. Type of thing, you know, and then I went in the bathroom. I'm in there changing or whatever. I'm in there, um, getting, uh, my toothbrush, get toothbrush and put some lotion on my arms and legs, right? Because uh, yeah, because I didn't wanna, you know, it was winter time and I get pretty chapped

• 10:34Theo Von?

  out. So anyway, I go and I meet our group in the lobby and I meet up, there's a guy named Alex Brusiewicz and he was um, the guy who got us in to be able to go. And he was a guy also who, his, yeah, his last name, I think Brusiewicz, I don't know, it's a lot, letters that don't even fucking know each other, right? It's like, you could tell some of the letters, if you write it out, you're like, ah, these bitches, they never even, these letters don't know each other, you know? And if you look on the faces of some of the letters, if you had them lined up, you see some of the letters like, I don't, I don't know this guy, you know, pointing at the letter next

• 11:16Theo Von?

  to him or whatever. Yeah, Brusiewicz, Brusiewicz, Brusiewicz, something like that. Anyway, I get there, this is the people that is in the group, okay? It is um, it is Kyle from Nelk Boys, right? John Shahidi, um, from uh, Shots and Happy Dad, um, Jake Pauls, Logan Pauls, uh, who else? Let me think. Jake Pauls, Logan Pauls, Pam Pauls, Pam Pauls, uh, Pam Logan Pauls. Let me see,

• 12:00Theo Von?

  Logan Pauls mom is called Pam. Um, and then Connor McGregor and Evander Holyfield and Danica Patrick, right? The race car, um, you know, she was like, at first they had like Princess and Mario Kart and then right after that they had uh, Danica Patrick. So, you know, one of only two female racers ever. So anyway, that is our group, that's our group, right? And like, I don't

• 12:38Theo Von?

  even know, let me see, I'd never, I'd met Evander's one time. Okay, so I'd met Evander, I'll tell you this story, I met Evander's. So Evander's is uh,

• 12:53Theo Von?

  He, one time I'm at an airport, I think it's Chicago, and they had a McDaniel's right there. And they had it all. You know what I'm talking about? They got it all, baby. They got a, uh, the McDouble, the Whopper, the Nuggets, the McNuggets, everything, you know? They got it all, the McFlurry, you know, uh, the ice cream machines down. Turn it on, Jack! That bitch ain't broken. Um, anyway, so one time I'm at the Chicago airport. I see, uh, Evander's Holyfield's sitting right there. He was at a table by himself. He had himself, he got himself a medium fry. Okay?

• 13:35Theo Von?

  And I'll, you know, I'm the kinda guy that who I guess I'm the kinda guy who if I'm walking by and I see Evander's Holyfield eating a medium fry, I'mma stop and watch him. You know, and you don't know you're, you're, you're, you're that type of guy until you're that type of guy. So I'm walking by, I see the fry, I see the Holyfield, bam, brother, you know what I'm saying? It's the fucking thriller for vanilla McFlurry, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just had to watch this. So Evander's is sitting there, he's putting fries into his mouth, and he'd been, over the years, he's accumulated a lot of punches to his face, right? And that's no, that's historical facts. So some of the fries, he wasn't even opening his mouth, right? He was just pushing them through.

• 14:20Theo Von?

  Just pushing them through the, uh, you know, that pan of mouth canal, baby, that, you know, through his face, through his mouth, just putting them in. And there was a girl who had been working at the Cinnabon down about maybe seventy yards, okay? They had a Cinnabon about seventy yards down the terminal. And I saw her run up. I saw her run up, and she stopped right in front of Evander's, and he's out, he's there. He's in the, you know, he's halfway through the fourth round of a fucking medium fry. And this girl runs right up, dude, and you could tell she was, uh, she'd left the counter unattended. I'm not trying to rat anybody out, but this was a young sister, and she'd left the counter unattended.

• 15:05Theo Von?

  Chicago airport, probably nine years ago, right? Probably 7:00 PM. She runs down, she points right at Evander's, and she says, "Ooh, I used to watch you wrestle."

• 15:22Theo Von?

  I used to watch you wrestle.

• 15:26Theo Von?

  So it just goes to show you can work your whole life doing something and somebody just they don't know. People don't know. They think you wrestle, you know, you could be one of the greatest heavyweights of all time and somebody thinks you are Coco Beware, right? Somebody thinks you should have a bird on your shoulder, you know, it's just, it is what it is. No shade to any of those men. So anyway, that's the group, dude. So now I'm getting on. So you had to, you had to go outside. I asked the people at the front desk of the Willard Hotel. Nice, bro. Them bitches damn. They like, it was old too. Like they had ghosts, I bet. And even the ghosts would have a fucking wallet on them. That's how I'm

• 16:12Theo Von?

  rich people. They, you see a ghost in there and he'd be, you know, he'd be like, ooh, I'm rich motherfucker. He wouldn't even scare people. He's like, that's from fucking poor ghosts, homie. He was at the, at the, at the strip club, dude, you know?

• 16:34Theo Von?

  But, um, okay. So we get to the back of the bus. We sit down. Oh, so as we're going to get outside to get onto the bus, that's like leaving the hotel. We go out, out of the, out of the area. They had, now they have like secret service and everything is very show your ID, like every 30 feet. You're showing your ID to somebody, letting somebody look at you, look at you, you know, some people touching your glands, the sides of your neck or whatever, every somebody's

• 17:04Theo Von?

  you know, somebody's asking you who your mother is, you know, that kind of shit. So the, yeah, there's just somebody like every 30 feet, you're clocking in with somebody, every 30 feet, you're showing your credentials, showing that wristband, arm, neck brace, everything. They had all kinds of wrist brace, neck brace, back, everything they had. Armband, neckband, fucking, they had so many things you had to show to get, keep going, to keep moving on. So get on the bus, it's a full bus. Uh, there was a young lady and her husband right in front of me who were from Louisiana. That was really cool. She was, she knew my friend Mandy that I used to date and we was friends. It was her friend. I'm sitting next to, uh, Danica Patrick from the race car.

• 17:50Theo Von?

  You know what I'm saying? So you know how I am, bro. I'm trying to meet a wife, dude. She's got a man, no judgment. But yeah, it was great. I saw I sat by her. And she was awesome, dude. We're, we're just clowning around, having fun. Oh, I forgot to say this.

• 18:07Theo Von?

  So we're go, right before we start to get into the bus, that's when Conor McGregor's rolls up, bro. Conor McGregor's dude, and this is the, you know what I'm saying? And this guy comes up. And his suit, it was like they perfectly fitted, brother. Like he just fucking, just, just fucking, oh, like they just, like the suit had just been stitched right around him just a second before he walked into our view. And he was just fresh. He was just fucking like he'd been just drinking Irish spring soap water. You know, he just looked like he was just fresh out the tap, you know? And he, um, he was energetic and he rolls right up, you know? How you going lad? Eh, class, class lad?

• 18:52Theo Von?

  You know, just nice, great to meet you, you know, just positive. His energy was, and it just a lot of energy. Like a lot of, and it was honestly, it was a lot of good energy that he rolled up with. Just in right there to the Paul boys and he didn't know, I guess him and the Pauls had had, uh, confliction online. And I didn't know it.

• 19:13Theo Von?

  I didn't know that. You don't, I'm not, you don't see me in all the gossip columns and all of that. But they'd had confliction online, grown men arguing on the internet. They'd been doing it. And no judgment, man. But yeah, he just comes in with his energy. He had his energy up like that. And he just had his energy like that. Like he just found all the pots of gold they'd ever hidden. Hey lad, fair play, boys. And that's how he rolled up, you know? Like the fucking, it was almost like a Notre Dame. It's like if he was a guy on the, on the little helmet or whatever. You know, on the hat. He was a Notre Dame guy. But he was twice as bad as that fucking

• 19:58Theo Von?

  little mascot guy they'd had. He could just fucking, it's like he had a thousand Joe Joyce's in each one of his hands. And he just had the fucking legs strong as the Moors, you know?

• 20:14Theo Von?

  What are Moors? Let me look it up. I think I'm just yelling stuff out of my head.

• 20:20Theo Von?

  Group of people with surname Moore who originally from Ireland. Oh, well.

• 20:27Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, I thought it was, I thought it was like a thing.

• 20:31Theo Von?

  Mowers, mowers, the cliffs of mower. Oh, there you go. And he had legs like the cliffs of mower. And he rolled up in his head. He said, he just had the energy of a fucking.

• 20:44Theo Von?

  He had the energy, he had his he just was full of electricity, man. He really was. He had it. He just, he just, uh, it was a, it was a, he had a voraciousness. You know, his aura was at about six, seven, seven thousand, eight thousand. And I might even sure what the exchange rate of that is. And, um, in British pounds, I think they use them there. What money do they use in Ireland? Oh.

• 21:15Theo Von?

  Euros. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's Euros or Minus, buddy. We're gonna figure it out. But anyway, so, so that's how he rolled up a lot of electricity, but even just dude, he, he knew my name, said something nice. So I was like, you know, I was very just, you know, I was like, holy shit, dude. So then we were, we get on the bus, right? So I'm sitting next to Danica Patrick. Okay. Um, we're sitting in front of Evander Holyfield, dude.

• 21:50Theo Von?

  You know, and people used to watch him wrestle and he is a legend. We're on this bus. And then, um, John Shaheidi, Kyle from Nelk and Kyle Forguard. Or For- Fregard? Fregard? I'm not sure. Is it Fregard? Fregard? Kyle, they call him Kyle. Obviously I can tell why, because people, because it's after that, it's fucking, you're bothering people. But Kyle from Nelk, right? Who looked, who looked like he was going to court to not get in trouble for a serious crime, like a business crime. Like he looked dashing. He really did. The man looked dashing.

• 22:28Theo Von?

  Um, and, oh, and then behind them, Jay, uh, oh, and then, um, Alex Brusiewicz, John Shaheidi, um, and then in the back, it was Jake Paul's Logan Paul. Behind them, Pam, Logan's mom and Conor McGregor. The fucking Catarati kid of Ireland.

• 22:59Theo Von?

  And it was just, uh, and it was awkward. You could see also on everybody's face, because I guess there'd been issues between, um, the Pauls and the McGregor's. They'd been having beef online or whatever. And so, uh, they'd been beefing and so there was issues there. And I didn't know it, but so it was just awkward, you know? So I think there was some energy there. Uh, but it was also people was, uh, they said fair play to each other. Both of those sides said fair play to each other, boys. And we're gonna have a good day and we're here for something bigger than, bigger than, bigger than us, you know? For, uh, to witness just a country that has freedom. And so, uh, the bus took off, took a while. We've probably sat there 40 minutes. A lot of laughter and fun stuff.

• 23:43Theo Von?

  Um, you know, just crazy dude. I mean, I can't even believe I'm sitting next to, hold on.

• 23:51Theo Von?

  I'm sitting by Evander Holyfield, dude, right? And you could tell he can feel like these, these other boxers in the back, but we know who the fucking dog is, you know? And I looked at him like, I'm on your team, brother. You know what I'm saying? If shit gets fucking risky out here, you know, if things get crazy, you know? Then, uh, then you, you know what I'm saying? If he, and he's, you know, he's getting up in years, but if you gotta even use me as a white walker just to help you get out of here. Mate, let's, whatever we gotta do, man. Um, so, but yeah, but I, I, I just, I truly can't believe that I'm on this. You know, it's just, it's a, you know? Do you find yourself in certain moments where you're like, this is pretty crazy that you're in a moment, right?

• 24:35Theo Von?

  And it's just regular people for sure. But it, you're like, this is, like, who did we trick or whatever to, um, get in here? You know, like, how did we? I don't know. Um, I don't know. And we didn't trick anybody, but there's a part, there's just like, yeah. You're like, what are we? You know, one of these things is not like the others. It just seemed like, I don't know. And I'm not trying to say that like in a self pity or like pity me way. I just, or like, oh, I don't deserve to be there. I'm just like, it just was fucking kind of a surprising moment. We're all going to a presidential inauguration. I don't know these people, you know? I don't know. I mean, I know John Shaheed really well. He's actually a close friend of mine.

• 25:20Theo Von?

  Um, who runs Happy Dad and I know, um, who else was it? I. Well, I paid for one of Evander's fights before for sure when they had early pay-per-view, I know. And um, and I've paid for one of the Paul's fights. Uh, and I'd met Jake and Logan, but I don't know him, you know? So anyway, there we all are. We're on a bus. We get over by the Capitol. And they say, as soon as the thing ends, we have six minutes to get out of the venue and back onto the bus. Before they're gonna shut down certain roads. And that was one of the biggest things.

• 26:03Theo Von?

  All along the outside, when I've been walking towards the hotel and everything, it's probably ten uh, ten to thirty degrees or forty degrees or thirty-four, six, seven degrees, right? It's not a ton of degrees, but it's not, it's not like no degrees, but it's like, uh, some degrees. You know what I'm saying? So. But there's military everywhere. Every fucking, you even like, like there'd be military, there's like SWAT team. Um, you know, police, sheriffs, um, undercover, like a marine. Um. Every, there was people in hide, it was like, like I went to use a mailbox, I opened it up, it's a fucking, uh,

• 26:49Theo Von?

  military guy in disguise, dressed up like a um, mail thing. Like, oh, fuck, you know? Um, he still took two of the letters for me, so thank you. Um, but yeah, everything you just couldn't, you gotta be careful. There was military everywhere, so you couldn't piss outside kind of vibes, you know? Um, anyway, so we're driving, but all the roads, there's like barricades everywhere. There's like trucks that they've just brought in to park at all these intersections, all around this Capitol area, like, like any corner you would pass on the way in, because we'd circled the entire thing, trying to find a way to get closer to this hotel, so I hadn't had to walk. Just because it was so brisk out. So the thing,

• 27:33Theo Von?

  but there was, some of them had cement barricades, some of them just had like a big trucks, some of them had SUV, um, war, little war trucks or whatever, it's like a little tank, but with, um, and they made them for regular people, but they were fucking sad. It was like, uh, H Hummers, they had those real Hummers. They had, um.

• 27:57Theo Von?

  They just, there was things stopping everywhere and there was military personnel all over or police uh personnel all over. So anyway, the bus ride takes a while. You gotta go through these certain streets. They have these big barricades set up and then you have to kind of like turn the corner and then straighten your bus out to make it through um these huge like kind of cage steel uh walls that they put up. So the bus can just fit right down the middle of the walls, like the full intersection is the full street is closed and it's just been narrowed to um this one uh like the middle lane kind of it. And so that took a while, like doing different turns. Um anyway, we pull up outside of the Capitol, probably pretty far off. I'm not sure, maybe 400 yards.

• 28:43Theo Von?

  We walk, we start walking, it's beautiful day, beautiful. I mean, like freezing cold, but just picturesque. The sun's hitting you. You can see the Capitol, the American flag and um it was exciting. All the officers, it seemed, they're all wearing like this, the hot, the hot, the cold um like headgear. You can just see their eyes or whatever and just their gun or whatever and that's and um

• 29:10Theo Von?

  yeah, they look like all like kind of dark snowmen, like kind of like black snowmen like a little bit. Cause there was just, a lot of them was wearing SWAT gear, tactical. They had everything. They had a fucking gun, handcuff, uh billy club, um uh Ray Bans or whatever, you know, just uh pepper spray, salt spray, um just you fucking, you know, you didn't even know what was going, just you know, one of them would fucking just throw a grenade full of uh um lemon pepper, you know, if it got, shit got really bad. Uh so anyway, that's, you have all the, all these officers and everything. You go inside, let me think, right. So at the bottom, oh, there's all these bikes. They parked all these bicycles and stuff

• 29:52Theo Von?

  kind of to make it like you had to go past them and it was a little bit of like a gauntlet kind of. It was just odd, the different things that they put in place to kind of make it odd to get into places. So you get inside and then we walked along a hallway and then you start to see military like Marines, um, Army, Colonels, Generals, um, Sergeant, Staff Sergeant, um, Sergeant Pepper, I think, and everybody in that bitch, right? They had, everybody was, there was, and they were standing at attention, you know, and some were at not attention.

• 30:34Theo Von?

  You know, the lazy ones or whatever. I don't know who they were, but they, um, you know, and some people were getting photos. I mean, if you're rolling with Conor McGregor's, they, you know, people's fucking topped in lot. You know, that's the most violent, tallest leprechaun they ever made right there. He's a savage man. And so, yeah, and you got him and the Pauls and so, um, it was kind of nice because I, you know, I was just, uh, under the radar. They're all taller and bigger and so they have more, um, excitement. I just kind of was, you know, um, I was just, you know, I was kind of in awe of the situation.

• 31:12Theo Von?

  My buddy, um, the wildfires got his home, but I'll tell you this, he had a fish tank, uh, and the fish in it survived, which is pretty unbelievable. But, um, that's, that's, you know, that's just the power of nature and water. It's been estimated that the damages so far from the California fires total more than 250 billion dollars. The loss of life is immeasurable and the state and city are still in shock. There are claims that insurance companies canceled thousands of homeowners' fire policies in the months leading up to the fires. Were those cancellations legal? Could this catastrophe have been avoided?

• 31:58Theo Von?

  If the wildfires were caused by negligence, someone must be held responsible. Morgan & Morgan, America's largest injury law firm, has helped millions of families in their times of need, just like now. They were there for the PG&E wildfire and for the Maui wildfires, and now they are here to help again. If you or someone you know has lost a loved one, a home, a business, or property because of the California wildfire, you can check out Morgan & Morgan today. For more information, go to caliwildfirelawsuit.com/THEO. That's C-A-L-I wildfire lawsuit.com/THEO to learn more.

• 32:39Theo Von?

  caliwildfirelawsuit.com/THEO. This is a paid advertisement for Morgan & Morgan. Getting your sweat on might seem like hard work, but with Symmetry Sauna, it's a work of art. Premium custom saunas for your home or business, plus a series of sleek, pre-built saunas. I just got myself a Symmetry sauna, and I'm sweating out bad decisions. Why sauna? Well, it relieves sore joints and muscles, improves skin, boosts heart health, and melts stress like hot butter. Hmm. And I'm finally sleeping like a baby, which is rare, since I'm usually up at 3:00 a.m.

• 33:23Theo Von?

  wondering if penguins have knees. Pro athletes, fitness buffs, big folks getting small, small folks getting big, everybody's hotboxing, and Symmetry Saunas can help. Designed in the USA, made with aspen wood from ancient Estonian forests. Ooh. Yep, fancy trees. Symmetry Sauna, the perfect balance of form and function. Learn more about how to get your own premium home sauna from Symmetry Sauna at symmetrysauna.com/THEO. So anyway, we go to get... Oh, and once they started to open the doors, it was... Some areas were kind of first come, first served seating. That's what it felt like. So it was kind of rushed.

• 34:08Theo Von?

  It was like on the Fri... Like, last Friday or whatever, when you got, you know, when they got a bunch of, uh... You know, they got a bunch of kind of basketball wives fighting for those TVs or whatever, like, um... It's for like, thanks. Whenever Christmas shopping starts, you know what I'm talking about? So they had that. It was that kind of energy. Everybody's running to get a seat. Uh, type of energy and we weren't running, but we're kind of keeping a quick pace, you know? Um, but then we got up in there and we sat down. And they had also with us who are by us or whatever was Sam Altman. And he did AI, right? And we'd love to get to chat with him and learn about,

• 34:51Theo Von?

  how the world's gonna fall apart. Like, you know what I'm saying? We gotta at least, uh, learn about it a little bit. And then, um, Sam Altman, Alexander Wang, right? And I don't know a lot of Wangs. I don't know any.

• 35:06Theo Von?

  Okay, there he is. Alexander Wang or Vong. I'm not sure how they do it in. He's New Mexican.

• 35:15Theo Von?

  So he's ba- he's kind of the, um, you know, he's kind of the Asian John Jones, if you will, sort of. He, um, but he went to MIT. He's a, uh, interesting guy. Anyway, he, he's there. There was all, everybody else was governors, elected officials, rich people, uh, like, you know, people that had cattle or gold, you know, or whatever. Um, and some people don't even call it gold. You know, at first, a lot of times they called it [bleep] rocks. Which is a crazy thing, but I could easily see people calling it that. And that's sad.

• 35:53Theo Von?

  Anyway, uh, what am I fucking talking about? So we all sit down, right? We all sit down and it's a wait, bro. It is like, you know, and there's a lot of military. You got to meet a lot of military folks. So just to see all them in their dress garb, you know, I mean, that was, that was probably one of the coolest things. You're in the Capitol and there's all, everybody's in their garb and it's just very, um, regal, very regal looking. And, uh, yeah, and people were amped and there was fun stuff. And then every now and then you'd shake somebody's hand and they had a wet hand or whatever. And you're like, oh, fuck, you know, somebody, get this fellow a bag of flour, somebody or just getting one of those, um,

• 36:35Theo Von?

  Uh, pool chocks and let him just chalk his hand up before he shakes again before he meets somebody, you know, um, but yeah. And then so that that kind of happened. We sat there for a while, probably 30 minutes. And then, uh, and so we all slipped off and, uh, just slunk out and got into a special area beneath some stairwells where a lot of the military was back there and they had, they was drinking, uh, chicken broth, hot chocolate and coffee. And, um, the government had given them a little bag with a banana in it. You know, you're like, dear God, these people putting their lives on the line, right? They're here to protect the president. We're fucking.

• 37:19Theo Von?

  Somebody, I mean, and some of these bananas had been, I don't want to say they had been abused or whatever by their owner or whatever, but they had been trafficked. I don't say, or I don't know how they, but some of the bananas had, um,

• 37:33Theo Von?

  you know, they're not, you know, they're, they're not going to be put back in circulation. I was surprised some of them were still in circulation. And, uh, anyway, um, but the military personnel didn't care and, uh, and that was kind of a blast too. Just, that was probably the highlight of the whole inauguration was seeing all the military folks from all different branches, from police to, um, like, uh, army, navy, SWAT, uh, sweat. There was just some gay guy wearing a sweat shirt that's sweat on it. Um, who else? They had even stolen valor, even the people out there in stolen valor. You were like, you know, you were, it was an honor.

• 38:16Theo Von?

  All of that, just, that was something great. Sorry, this story's getting long. Um, so anyway, we got over there, we're, and we're just, we hadn't eaten any breakfast, right? I hadn't. And so you're just, I'm just slurping chicken broth and slurping hot cocoa, you know, and anyway, so that was like a nice excursion from sitting there. We go back to our seats and my chair was bad. I had a bad chair. The chair had been, I don't know. It was probably made in China or whatever. It was been one of those, you know, probably a chair, um,

• 38:50Theo Von?

  Yeah, it was a chair that shouldn't be allowed to chair. They should check these chairs, right? They should breathalyze and whatever they should do, but they did whatever this chair, you know, probably knew somebody or whatever and got in the building. Anyway, it was kind of slagging a little. My chair was kind of like, so when I sit down, I had that fucking lean on me. You know what I'm saying? That's so the lean. That's so the lean. So a lot of, and suddenly as soon as I sat like that, a lot of black people kind of nodded at me because once you have that lean on you, buddy, it's a little bit of a kind of urban respect going on, you know? So I was like, okay, I'm in, I'm here. So we sit down, the congregation starts, the whole congregation,

• 39:31Theo Von?

  the, um, the whole evening starts, the inauguration starts, and it's very nice, man. I mean, it's just, you know, you're witnessing a piece of history and you get to be there. And, uh, it definitely felt like a lot of very regal people and everybody was dressed very well. And, uh, just fancy. It was a diverse group, it felt like. Um, I don't know if that's true. That's, that's crazy to say that part. Uh, but it was, it was nice. It was really nice. And just like, yeah, just felt lucky to be there. Just to see it. You know, I mean, I, I was saying this this weekend on Twitter, but you know, some countries, they

• 40:13Theo Von?

  can't vote. They don't have voting. You can't go vote. You just live. And you feel like you don't have a say in how, um, in the template that you operate in or the, the world, the universe that you're set up in, you don't have a, you don't have a hand to raise ever. Um, but, but yeah, so it was just, it was, it was, it was wild to see that. It was wild to witness it. And then just the little things, just like everybody just watching, like all the little things at the inauguration, just the little moments of little glances from the different people. And it's like this whole changing of the guard and it's like this tag team. It's like tagging in, you know, instead of tagging

• 40:55Theo Von?

  in your, um, partner, it's like tagging in your opponent, which is just such a wild thing to witness in a, in a sport. If you look at politics, almost like a sport. Um, and so we sat there, everything was going pretty smooth. And then at some point, my chair broke, right? The chair broke. Um, I felt it fell. I just, it fell, right? I fell out. I don't know what to say it. The chair like might have, I don't know what happened. Right? But the chair fell and I fell and it was like, oh dude, it was the worst, right? It was embarrassing. Because at first I thought, oh, people thought I did this, right? Like, I don't do, I don't like physical stuff. Uh, I, I don't like that.

• 41:38Theo Von?

  Like, I'm not good at that type of stuff, falling out of a chair, that type of shit, right? That's for fucking clowns or shitty mimes, right? Like a, like, yeah, that's for shitty mimes, the shitty mime type shit, I don't do that. So the chair broke and then I was like, oh man, and Sam Altman looked at me. The guy who made AI, bro, he looks at me like, I was like, oh God. That dude's never gonna come on the podcast. Um, I was like, dude, design me a chair right now. Bro, I was like, design me some way to get out of this embarrassment. Um, so that was kind of strange. And then I got up and, uh, and anyway, the thing carried on.

• 42:21Theo Von?

  We snuck off one more time to get some more stuff because it got long. You know, some of the benediction got a little, um, you know, they were up there rattling and shit. And then Trump came through, he gave a very long speech in there. You know, I think addressed a lot of different things in there. Um,

• 42:40Theo Von?

  that it was kind of like the B sides, like things he maybe didn't want to say in the actual, in a, uh, main part. But he said in there and then

• 42:51Theo Von?

  on the way back to the hotel, our bus, uh, kept turning off. It was, um, experiencing breakage or whatever, or it was broken. So we got out and just walked like the last few blocks and that was kind of hectic. Um,

• 43:07Theo Von?

  Just because some of those people are pretty recognizable and you know, just a lot of people were coming up pictures and videoing and ask, you know, people from a different place. It was just a lot. It was like a lot of energy. And it was kind of a little scary, you know, like I don't have security. I'm not saying I need security, but you're just out there. You don't know what people are, you know what I'm saying? You don't know, you just don't know what's going on. So that was a little crazy. Got back to the hotel and yeah, went home, went to my hotel, which is a called maybe a mile away or something. Took a nap for a few hours and then went to the ball

• 43:46Theo Von?

  later on. And there was some issues about the chair, you know, I ended up like, well, here, let me tell about the ball. So the ball, I guess they had a bunch of different balls and I had got it. I got a ticket to one ball, right? And it was very nice. It was called the Starlight Ball and it was beautiful in there. And I got dropped off, had to get dropped off of blocks away. And then they had a very long like snake walk that you had to go on to get to the door. And it was probably maybe, probably a 20 minute walk, right? And so it was cold out. It was probably 25 degrees or something. So you're walking out there and I didn't bring a coat, right? Because I didn't know, you know, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't think, I guess. And so I didn't think about a coat and

• 44:31Theo Von?

  I didn't have a coat. And so we finally get up to the front and they let you in and it was beautiful. You know, it's nice. It's elegant, the fucking, they got curtains, they got carpet, the curtains were some curtains was 80 feet long, 90, 45, 75 feet long, baby. They had curtains that had carpet on them. Like these bitches, they had, you know, they had everything in there. They had a, the craziest thing I saw, they had a ceiling fan. It must have been 150 feet up in the air, dude. I was like, what? How would you do it? And so I, I kind of was like looking for the switch for that low key for a while. Let me see, inside of the ball, I got to see some people

• 45:13Theo Von?

  that I knew Joe Rogan was in there. Mayor, oh, Ernie Johnson, who's the guy, Speaker of the House, maybe?

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Mike Johnson?

• 45:24Theo Von?

  Mike Johnson, baby. We got to talk to him. He's from Shreve, Port, Louisiana. He had a great sense of humor. We got to joke around a little bit. He had a few of his children with him, got to talk with them. Um, Wayne Gretzky was in there, the great one. I saw him. Dude, Wayne Gretzky had lost, uh, his tooth in there. My tooth got chipped, right? My tooth, my tooth got chipped or something on a hard, uh, appetizer, right? So Wayne's in there. I told him that. He goes,

• 45:54Theo Von?

  like that, showed me his mouth. He's missing a whole tooth, dude. You know, runaway train, never going back. He had, that bitch just gone. I mean, he's a hockey player, so yeah. But then they're like looking on the floor for the tooth. So for probably 10 minutes, I'm helping him and his wife and somebody else, like a, I don't know if it was a dentist or whatever, but a dental assistant, basically. I think it was just a dude that liked guys or whatever. But he was trying to help look for it. And then, um, so we're looking for Wayne Gretzky's tooth, okay?

• 46:27Theo Von?

  And I think he's like, yeah, I think, I think he, at one point I thought he said he had a couple, he usually kept a couple extra on him, you know? Cause this is a hockey guy. These guys, you know, you'll go to bed, they'll have their wedding ring and a tooth on the nightstand. You know, that's just the kind of guys they are. You know, um, so yeah, he just had that empty net up top and it was, um, but it was hilarious, dude. We laughed and, uh, and we took a nice photo together, me, him, Mike Johnson.

• 46:54Theo Von?

  And then I started getting some social anxiety in there. That was a little bit hectic. And what else was, I mean, it's just like a couple thousand people.

• 47:04Theo Von?

  You know, and you can't be like, hey, have you seen Wayne Gretzky's tooth? You know, like, so I would do that a couple of times. I was like, yeah, have you seen Wayne Gretzky's tooth? You know? And I think a lot of people thought it was a euphemism for something or whatever. It was like a, um, kind of like, uh, something like that. But, um,

• 47:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, anyway, we I don't know if they found her or not. I gotta touch base with them, but what a legend, dude. What a legend, bro. That was awesome. So that kind of made my night, I think. Uh, what else? I saw Tony Hinchcliffe and Jeff Ross, and we joked around for about a half hour over by the desserts. The things that I did not enjoy, to be honest with you, no judgment, but these are just things that what it was like. There was only probably 25 chairs in the whole place for probably, I don't know, maybe it's 2,000 people in there or something, 1,600 people. Um, right? Is that the right amount of people? Uh, maybe 1,000 people. So they only probably, uh, they might have had 40, 40 chairs, right?

• 48:02Theo Von?

  So there was, it was like, if you saw a chair, it was like, it was fuck, it got squid gamey in there, dude. It was very, if you even heard an ass cheek, leave a fucking seat. You could hear that shit, you could hear it at 40 paces. You could hear an ass cheek leave a, leave a, uh, seat.

• 48:21Theo Von?

  See people rush in, fly in, just first for that damn 18 square inches of real estate, boy. For that ass real estate, maybe that chair. Um, who else? Sean O'Brien, I saw the Team Suis Union president who came on to the podcast once. Who else did I get to see or not see? Oh, Ben Shapiro, I saw, didn't get to talk to him. Um, Jake and Logan, I saw, um, I'm leaving some people out, but it was just a lot and I was kind of burnt out. There was so, it was just like a lot of meeting people and it was just a lot of energy. Uh, so then I, at one point, um, I ended up leaving and at the same time Lex Friedman was leaving. He does podcasting. I'd never seen him before.

• 49:02Theo Von?

  Um, and we talked, we, we walked for about 20 minutes and then caught an Uber for about 15 minutes and, uh, just laughed, had a good chat.

• 49:14Theo Von?

  Yeah, and that was, uh, that was it. That was the whole deal. I didn't get to see, uh, I didn't get to meet anybody of the cabinet or anything like that.

• 49:24Theo Von?

  And I didn't get to see, uh, Baron Trump. I didn't get to see Baron, bro. B-Dog, bro. You hear me? I didn't get to, I, I didn't get to see Baron Trump. That would have been that something nice to meet that man. That's a young man you wanna meet. You know what I'm saying? He just,

• 49:43Theo Von?

  he's that,

• 49:46Theo Von?

  you know, he just is. He's that frickin' seer. He's that seer, baby. He's the Lord's lookout, baby. You know what I'm saying? He is. He's that crow's nest of society right there. And so, um, yeah, that was probably a bummer. I didn't get to see, uh, Bobby Kennedy Jr., who's a friend of mine. That would have been really nice. Um, I thought Melania looked really nice and gangster at the same time. Beautiful gangster vibe. Uh, I got to see J.D. Vance's wife. Um, just see her. That's really beautiful. A lot of, they, I think she's the first Indian, uh, second lady in time ever that we've ever had, Indian American.

• 50:29Theo Von?

  And if you've never met an Indian person, go meet one this year. I say that wholeheartedly. I met a couple of Indian people last year and I'm still enjoying, um, the benefits of that and the, uh, it's great. That's been great. So if you don't, haven't met someone like that, that's a great person to meet. Um,

• 50:49Theo Von?

  what else? There was some, oh, oh, was there some? Oh, Tim Kennedy I got to see. I just met him week before and I wish, I, I couldn't find his number. I, I, I, I was gonna try to meet up with him. It was so hard to go from one thing to the next. I was like, once you got somewhere, you were kind of there. There was just a lot. It was very tough to kind of move about in the city. Um, what else? You all know I like to keep things cool, even in the winter. And nothing is cooler than a Blue Cube Cold Plunge. I'm fortunate enough to have one at home, and let me tell you, it's like baptizing your soul, baby, getting that little crispy bucket, baby.

• 51:31Theo Von?

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• 52:16Theo Von?

  Head over to their website, BlueCubeBaths.com, and dive into the details. Opt in on their website, or give them a call. I am grateful for the one that I have, and I feel honestly thankful to be able to have one. I know they're not in everybody's price range, and that's understandable. But at the same time, I want to support my friend and his amazing company. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone.

• 52:58Theo Von?

  Watching pornography has become so commonplace today, and oftentimes, men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend, Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member, and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography, and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that.

• 53:43Theo Von?

  Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www dot Valor Recovery Coaching dot com, or email them at admin at Valor Recovery Coaching dot com. Thank you. Yeah, and I think my biggest takeaway was just that things, it's just changing, you know, it's like, just that things are kind of different. You know, like I couldn't believe that they, that we got to be at something like that,

• 54:28Theo Von?

  but I think that's just how the world is getting. Everything's kind of evening out. You know, I don't really believe that there's, like, it doesn't really feel like, it almost feels like there's not even really famous people. Everybody feels a little famous because everybody is able to kind of promote themselves if they want.

• 54:46Theo Von?

  You know, what used to be like media that felt like it was kept from people or controlled, it just feels like, it's just there now and you can make your own decisions based on how you're consuming or who you're consuming stuff through, I guess. I don't know. I guess I don't have like a lot of macro level pictures, pictures of that kind of stuff. But just to get to meet Sam Altman, dude, the AI guy? Like, what? And then it was just more, just like, yeah, it was fascinating. I wish I had had, I was kind of burnt out. I, I, it was very magnificent and had like a,

• 55:31Theo Von?

  you know, a Cinderella type energy and stuff. I'm just glad that I got to go to it. I couldn't believe that. There wasn't, there was a thing where, you know, I thought Jake and Logan, I thought Logan and Jake were messing with me. They had videotaped, they were vlogging from the get, right?

• 55:50Theo Von?

  And I never spent much time around them, you know, and I know that they're really successful and uh, and they're, I mean, they're war, they're, they're tough guys. Those are tough guys, right? No doubt. So anyway, they put a clip up. I fell out the chair, dude, and I didn't do, I didn't know. I knew that the chair had been bad. The chair was faulty. It was faulty chair. I don't know if that was CIA or whatever. No idea. No idea how, you know, if they, there was a plan there. But anyway, they, the chair was faulty. But then afterwards, somebody said that they were fucking with the chair, you know?

• 56:31Theo Von?

  And so part of my brain was like, oh, were they, did they do something with it to egg it on, you know? Like, you know what I'm saying? If you see somebody who's like leaning on a crutch or whatever, and then you bar their crutch, you know, you leave town. You know, because you got priors or whatever, and then they fucking, they take that L, baby, that gravity L, baby, they fall. So I just didn't know. So I got in the kind of this skeptical place.

• 57:01Theo Von?

  And I should have just checked in with Logan about it, I guess, but they were recording everything. So I didn't know if they were going to record it or whatever. And I just, I hadn't been around him that much, you know, and I didn't, I think I get nervous around like vlogging type of things because it feels like um, you're, there could, somebody could be setting you up or something. I'm just not that familiar with that universe. Uh, and then later in the day, um, Logan Paul's made a video where he said, uh, he made a challenge about, uh, oh, he said, if I was going to put you through something, I'd put you through a table, you know, not a chair, because he is a wrestler. He's a WWE wrestler. I believe he's been a champion too, hasn't he?

• 57:42Theo Von?

  Let me see.

• 57:46Theo Von?

  Yeah, he was the WWE Champion from November 2023 to August 3rd, 2024. So, um, yeah, so I thought he's, you know, so I thought that he, I thought that he wanted that, that, that he was, you know, then I thought he was creating like an online hype about it, you know, I thought he was calling out the Rat King, you know, and if you want, if you want the smoke, baby, I'll fill your lungs, you hear me?

• 58:11Speaker 02

  Cause I'm gonna give you the truth, baby, and I'm gonna give you the trauma. Name the time and the place and the place and the time. Cause I got a clock and a globe and an axe to grind. From Alaska to Nebraska, from Maine to Fort Wayne.

• 58:31Theo Von?

  So that's where I was at. And then, uh, we ended up talking in the morning and, um, I just, I should have probably communicated. That was my, my, my part in it was, I didn't communicate better. And they weren't, they, they didn't, they didn't do anything.

• 58:49Theo Von?

  They were recording, the chair fell and, uh, it was ridiculous. And then they weren't trying to, uh, they weren't trying to wrestle. I used to watch you wrestle. They weren't trying to wrestle. And so, yeah, so no hard feelings there. Um, yeah, some just self responsibility. I think it was just a little bit of a miscommunication and just not knowing each other, maybe not knowing each other's energy some.

• 59:19Theo Von?

  And I'll say this too, honestly, I had a great time hanging out with them because we also had had a great time that weekend. They were probably two of the guys.

• 59:30Theo Von?

  Yeah, we just, uh, just joking around. I got to see how they interact with their mother and I thought that that was very sweet, to be honest with you. Uh, no home, no Diddy or whatever, you know, just, just like the way, um, and it was just all real genuine. You know, you could tell that they have, uh, Yeah, you could just tell the affinity that they have for their mother and the same for them. Because a lot of families that grow up where the children are famous and stuff, they don't have the same fortune, they don't have the same good fortune, you know? And so that was really cool, actually. It was, I admired that about them.

• 1:00:12Theo Von?

  Yeah, this honky zen monkey rolled up on me at the hotel at one point and was kinda just like, he was just kinda trying to say stuff to me and just, he was drunk, right? And he was just kinda kept spitting a lot and it was just a lot for me. And he was just, his energy was super clear, he was like right up in my face, kind of. And I told him I didn't want to really talk, I was just, it had been a long day or whatever. And then he kept, he kept coming up and Logan and Jake both kind of just formed, just put a damn Trump wall right there in front of me. And I didn't need to be rescued, but I'm kinda glad they stepped in because it could have got a little weird. You know, I was kinda, I was on edge a little.

• 1:00:57Theo Von?

  You know, I just hadn't hit a meeting and all, just shit like that. You know, I just gotta take care of my own shit a little bit better. But, um, so yeah, what I'm saying is, and nobody asked me to say this, you know, we just, Logan and I had a call the other day, that shit was just confusion. And, um, yeah, that was just confusion. And then, uh, yeah, I'm actually glad I got to, um, I'm glad I got to get to know them better. To be honest with you, it was kind of a joy of the weekend. And, um, what else was nice?

• 1:01:37Theo Von?

  I mean, it was all just crazy, just to even, even just to like stand around Evander Holyfield and you're just like, welcome to be around him, right? There's not like, he doesn't, there's no, neither one of y'all needs to walk off because you're both in the same group. It was like you were at a field trip, that was, that's what it was like. It was like when you were kids at a field trip and it was like, okay, this is the B group and this is your chaperone, or this is the L group and this is your chaperone. And so that was us, we had eight or nine of us, we had our chaperone. Um, and we were just, you know, we were just learning about civics.

• 1:02:09Theo Von?

  And getting to see some of it firsthand and we really did like laugh. It was a fucking blast dude. And yeah, I think maybe part of me, I wish they'd have asked if they'd have put the clip of falling of the chair out or whatever, but in the end, it's okay. It's all good. You know, I don't have any, any ill thoughts towards them, you know, um, I, I, uh, yeah, I thought that they were, I thought they were cool guys. Maybe I need to quit saying that dude. Obviously they're both married and I like women. But, um, but yeah, I kind of wish we would have fucking took that. I kind of wish we would have took it to the ring, you know? I think there was a part of me that, that was hoping, you know? Cause you know, the rat king, baby, I'll put him in the fricking mozzarella wheelchair, baby. You feel me?

• 1:02:52Theo Von?

  My finishing move is the tax evasion, baby. So, um, but that's every kid's dream to get in there and get body slammed and lose a vertebra, you know?

• 1:03:05Theo Von?

  In a, a sold out arena in Charlotte. I mean, who, you know, we can all dream.

• 1:03:11Theo Von?

  But yeah, I'm just glad I got to go to the inauguration. I would have gone, you can't miss it. You couldn't miss it if you got to go. And I just feel lucky that I got to go. And so thank you to Alex Brusiewicz, um, for taking me.

• 1:03:24Theo Von?

  For John Shahidi, my buddy who's, uh, been super supportive and helps me a lot and helped me, um, get to do, uh, the political podcast last year and just to learn about some things that I care about, you know? And, um, and just different politicians and how it works. It's like, I've learned a lot in the past year, to be honest with you. I think anyway, you know, I think I have and, um,

• 1:03:53Theo Von?

  so yeah, wish I'd have gotten to meet Baron, um, wish I'd have gotten to see Bobby Kennedy.

• 1:04:01Theo Von?

  Some people gave me a hard time about going to the inauguration or supporting a party, whatever. I don't think about it. I, you know, I didn't, I, I support, I do what I want to do for me and you can do what you want to do for you, you know, and, um, but nobody owns my support.

• 1:04:19Theo Von?

  Nobody owns my support for anything, I don't think, you know, except maybe my family. Um, and even then, I can, even then, I'll keep it away from them sometimes. So, um, I don't know about what else. Let's take a call that came in. Here we go.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Hello, Mr. Theo Von. This is Judy.

• 1:04:42Theo Von?

  Hey Judy!

• 1:04:47Theo Von?

  Sorry, my buddy used to say that all the time. Uh, carry on Judy onward. Thank you for calling.

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  I'm in Shreveport, Louisiana.

• 1:04:54Theo Von?

  Oh, yes. Mike Johnson country. And you know, he's Speaker of the House. And I liked his attitude. I liked his energy, you know, and I'm curious to see what this whole new camp, what they do in there. I'm curious to see, you know, because it's a motley, it's a motley group that they got going in there. And I want to get to meet some of them. Um, I want to get to talk to some of them and learn some stuff, you know, and also ask them, ask them some promises. You're going to do this, you can do this. And then we can see if we can hold them to it. If we get to keep podcasting for years, we'll be able to hold them to it. Hey, you, you said you were going to get to do this. Why didn't it happen? Or why did it happen? You know? So that kind of stuff really intrigues me. You know, are we going to get lobbyists and, um, uh, foreign countries and Apex and all these

• 1:05:39Theo Von?

  different people out from, uh, interfering with our candidates? Um, and interfering with our lobbies? Or how does it work? And also, am I just delusional? And I just don't know the whole system? And, and if that's the case, then educate me on it. Because there's also just a cost of doing business in some things, you know? Like sometimes it's just, there's a cost of doing business. You know, like you could go set up a fruit stand or something, or a little, uh, little watermelon stand or something, uh, a little banana shop or something on the corner of a street. You could do that. But you have to pay a permit, right? You have to, it's just the cost of doing business. So sometimes I wonder if there's, you know,

• 1:06:24Theo Von?

  what the truth is out there. I want to learn more about that. Let's hear more. Sorry.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  I've called you a few times. Anyhow, I just want to say congratulations. I'm so happy for you that you had the opportunity to go to DC on inauguration day. I'd actually...

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  I said something to my husband over the weekend that I sure hope the Ovon goes to Washington to experience inauguration day.

• 1:06:52Theo Von?

  Well, thanks ma'am, or young lady, or yeah, thank you, miss. I appreciate that. Yeah, the Ovon went to Washington, I guess. Fivel goes west, or whatever. Fivel goes to section eight. That's gonna be, maybe I'll be able to be in that. Yeah, but Fivel was a mouse, dude, and he went west and we're the rats, baby, and we went east. So, but thank you for thinking of me. Yeah, I was thinking about that, too. I was like, how can I not go? You know? So, yeah, thank you. Let's hear more, miss.

• 1:07:21Speaker 03

  Because you, my friend, are so worthy and deserving to have that opportunity. Countless, countless of us are so grateful. Thank you for going. You truly deserve that. I was so excited for you. And I just want to thank you again for just having truly the best podcast that I get so hyped to listen to. And you were so deeply loved.

• 1:07:50Theo Von?

  Well, thank you. Thank you. That's sweet of you to say that. That's nice of you to say. You know, I did, I thought about my teachers from growing up. I thought about my mom. I didn't steal, but I took a couple extra napkins, because I know my best friend's mom is gonna want one. My mom's gonna want one, probably. Yeah, there's a teacher, too, if I ever, if I get to see him again, that I would like to give him to. Just little things like that. Yeah, and to see things you like and don't like. You get to witness, like, okay, there's some stuff here that I feel like this. There's some stuff here that I

• 1:08:29Theo Von?

  feel like that. Yeah, I felt like, I don't know. I just couldn't believe it. You know, to be real honest with you, I just couldn't believe it. You know, I just couldn't believe that I'm sitting in there, and I'm at the damn, you know, this is like the, they're doing the inauguration. You know? And, and then the chair broke, and I'm like, ugh.

• 1:09:03Theo Von?

  And you're on the floor and you're like, oh, this isn't good. And then you just, I thought I'd, I was like, please let me fall through to another world or whatever. Like I looked over at Sam Altman and I was like, designer, you know, I was like, send me into the matrix right now, man. You know, don't make me have to just get up and just be human. So that was a lot. I don't know, was it a lot? But anyway, it is just is what it is, man. And the best part of it was some rich lady scoffed at me. She's like, oh. Oh. Oh.

• 1:09:43Theo Von?

  As if she had to watch one of her own dogs shit. You know, those people that are really rich, they have someone else walk their dogs. So they never really know that their dog's shit or whatever. She was like, oh. God. She grabbed her husband's arm or something. I'm like, yeah, you got it right. You're sitting in the wrong section. You in section eight, boo boo. These chairs busted as hell, brother. So maybe we'll start making our chairs in fucking America again. I don't know. Maybe we'll start taking some pride in the things that we built, that we build, you know? I don't know. I wonder what the future is going to be like.

• 1:10:24Theo Von?

  You know, I wonder. And if we're strong enough, man, it's weird. It's like the things that I feel like are bad for me sometimes. It's hard to stay away from. It's hard to keep using them.

• 1:10:34Theo Von?

  You know, it's a, it's just a, it's interesting.

• 1:10:39Theo Von?

  But I'm just happy I get to be alive and play the game every day. Sometimes I play it pretty good. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes my attitude sucks. Like, yeah, dude, I was at the, the ball or whatever and the desserts, dude, I was just, I wanted to get a drink or something. And then I was like, I'm not drinking, you know? Um, uh, I'm not doing it. I just been, I was just like, I was kind of going through it. And so I fucking said, I'm gonna get me some desserts, right? Cause sometimes if you want to drink, if you, to, to, to, to, to stop that craving, you get you some desserts, boy, you know? So I tongue down a couple petty fours. Baby, let me bring up a petrol one of them. God, they're good. If, they're beautiful. They're good if they're good, but they, when they're not, they're just a waste of your fucking calories. Any four.

• 1:11:23Theo Von?

  And I'm the kind of guy, I'll put something in my mouth and if I decide once it's in there that it ain't worth it, you gonna get that shit back, honey. I'mma, I'll put that shit in a napkin, baby. And hide a little doggy bag somewhere behind a plant or something. I don't give a damn. I'll fucking feed that bitch to a sofa cushion after I take it out of my mouth. I don't give a damn. Cause I don't eat bullshit sugars, dog. A petit four, also known as Mignardesis, Mignardesis, is a small bite sized confectionery or savoury appetizer. The name is French petit four, meaning small oven.

• 1:12:02Theo Von?

  A small oven, baby. You know what I'm saying, huh? Damn, boy. And Wayne Gretzky lost that frickin'. He was spittin' Chiclets, dude. Shout out to them. He had a, I'm upstairs, baby. He fucking, he, the Lord installed a window on his smile, baby. He had that thing going. And shout out Wayne, man. We talked about his family and I'm just clowning. He knows, he had a great sense of humor. Uh, he's like, yeah, usually I got a couple extra I keep on me. Oh, but just moments like that, you're talking to the greatest hockey player in the world and he's asking you how you're doing. And then you're just helping somebody look for a tooth in a fucking nice room. It's just like,

• 1:12:44Theo Von?

  this is shit you kind of always dreamed about, I guess, you know?

• 1:12:50Theo Von?

  Let me see if there's one more question. Any questions you guys had, Nick or Zach?

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  I don't think so. Are you looking for a voicemail? Can you hear me?

• 1:13:01Theo Von?

  You notice anything on your mind about the election? Was there anything?

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  You made a point, you posted on Instagram about how you think we need more than two parties. That was interesting.

• 1:13:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think that's something, you know? I think that's a big thing for me is that, hey, how do you get more parties? Because I feel like if they're,

• 1:13:20Theo Von?

  you know, if you, if they're just,

• 1:13:24Theo Von?

  we need more teams. It'd be more exciting.

• 1:13:29Theo Von?

  You know, and I know there are more. People are like, there's the Green Party. I know that. Let me see. How, how many? Political, just so we know, some of you guys are like, this idiot, you don't know?

• 1:13:44Theo Von?

  The electoral system in the US is called, is it called a two-party system? That means two parties dominate the political field.

• 1:13:53Theo Von?

  The two largest parties.

• 1:13:59Theo Von?

  Okay, minor parties, there's the, obviously, so then you have Democratic and Republican, those are your two major, your minor parties are the Libertarian Party, was founded December 11th, 1972. As of March 2021, it is the largest third party in the United States.

• 1:14:18Theo Von?

  Claiming nearly 700,000 registered voters across 28 states. The Green Party, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:14:25Theo Von?

  Blow it in the air, baby, that's sticky icky. The Green Party has been active as a third party since the 1980s, you know what I'm talking about. Cheech and Chong, homie, that's what's up, baby, dope as yola. The party first gained widespread public attention during Ralph Nader's second presidential run in 2000, okay, okay.

• 1:14:50Theo Von?

  And then, the Constitution Party is a national conservative political party in the United States, it was founded in the US tax, as the US Taxpayers Party in 1992 by Howard Phillips. There's also the Alliance Party, is a centrist American political party, was formed in 2018 and registered in 2019. And the Vermont Progressive Party.

• 1:15:12Theo Von?

  So that, those are three, four, five other parties.

• 1:15:17Theo Von?

  That's pretty cool, I would love to just talk to Bernie Sanders again, you know, that would be something nice this year to learn a little bit more about some stuff, um, yeah, I'm just, I think I've gotten more curious this year, I feel more curious.

• 1:15:32Theo Von?

  And then just, yeah, some things I want to do this year, try and be better to my friends,

• 1:15:40Theo Von?

  I think I can do it.

• 1:15:43Theo Von?

  And just take more time and not in my own world and think about other people's worlds. That's one thing that keeps me sometimes I just get stuck in my own world and then it's it's not that I'm not thinking about others. It's just I'm thinking about me too much or some things I have to do, right? Um, so there's some goals in mind. Anyway, sorry to ramble. Anything else? Any other? Nick, did you have a question? Anything come to mind? I know Zach had it.

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  I didn't. I just thought it was kind of a beautiful moment. It did feel like things are changing.

• 1:16:15Speaker 01

  Good or bad?

• 1:16:17Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's the thing. Sometimes change, it's good. You don't know. You know, it's like Bobby Kennedy. Uh, people did it. People said he was a witch doctor or whatever. People said he was, um, what were some of the things you heard? Oh, he worked for Frankenstein. You would hear all of that or whatever. Um, you know, people would say he has a bus full of like frogs with Band-Aids on him and shit like that and like bears that are missing arms or whatever. And yeah, yeah, he's definitely, you know, he's had some weird instances with some roadkill. I'll agree to that. Um, but it's a mystery. I like something new. I like, let's try this. Let's try this.

• 1:17:01Theo Von?

  So. All right. Blessings to you guys. Thanks for listening to me ramble about the inauguration. Uh, thanks for being a part of the podcast. Um, as always, the hotline is nine eight five six six four nine five zero three. What was the call in thing that we spoke about earlier? Um, Nick, do you remember about one of them? We talked about that would be a good call in thing?

• 1:17:23Speaker 01

  Craziest thing you've ever seen in a bathroom?

• 1:17:26Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, that's what it was. And so one happened at one thing that happened was I was at the inauguration, you know, and, uh,

• 1:17:35Theo Von?

  and,

• 1:17:38Theo Von?

  and I was there, right? And so this, so I go into the restroom, right? Typical, you know, restroom user. That's who I, who I am. So I go in there and you start.

• 1:17:51Theo Von?

  There's only a couple of sounds that you hear in the bathroom that you that are kind of acceptable, right? You know, you you'll accept a lot of sounds in a bathroom. You're like, okay, you're like, oh, all right, but okay, you know, and then sometimes you hear some stuff and you do a quick prayer for somebody or something. But there's only a few sounds, but that somebody was in there, um, either, I don't want to say doing, you know, cocaine, maybe, or, or just breathing short, really fast every now and then. So that kind of blew my mind, but it just goes to show you that you never know when somebody,

• 1:18:33Theo Von?

  you know, is getting tooted up on the gear. You know what I'm saying, Big Randy? You never know. So, all right, a little bit more American inauguration music on the way out. But yeah, you can hit the hotline 985-664-9503. Let us know something you've seen in a bathroom that's been strange over the years, something that's kind of shocked you or really, you know, you thought to yourself, okay, that's different right there. 985-664-9503. Praise God, baby, I'm upstairs. And if you, if you, if anybody finds Wayne Gretzky's tooth, you guys hit the hotline, you know that, and we'll get that install done for him up

• 1:19:17Theo Von?

  there. But, uh, you guys be well, man. Thank you, guys. Amen.

• 1:19:53Theo Von?

  Bear Run!

• 1:20:07Theo Von?

  You guys be good to yourselves, baby, you deserve it. Gang.

• 1:20:37Speaker 04

  Welcome to the 50th Hunger Games! Witness the beginning of the revolution.

• 1:20:41Speaker 05

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from the start.

• 1:20:44Speaker 04

  Filmed for IMAX.

• 1:20:46Speaker 05

  Make them remember you.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping, November 20th, rated PG-13.