Gold Digger Is Destroying His Life | Financial Audit

🥪 Get 1 year of Dollarwise PLUS my NEW cookbook! https://dollarwise.com *AL WEEK HAS BEGUN* 🚨 A full week of chaos that you do NOT want to miss. FIND OUT if he has left the CREATURE once and for all. Sign up for Hammer Elite on YouTube https://hamr.link/b820d8 or the Hammer Elite App https://hamr.link/2480d8 to get access to it ALL. ============================= *Caleb Hammer Financial Resources* ============================= 👉 *PERSONAL LOANS* Shop for the best personal loan for a new purchase, a consolidation, or something else → https://shorturl.at/c53Eg 👉 *CAR INSURANCE* Find and compare much better AND cheaper car insurance for free → https://hamr.link/ytautolion 👉 *DEBT RELIEF* Finally experience relief from your debt once and for all → https://shorturl.at/VbGPv 👉 *STUDENT LOAN REFINANCING* Student loans killing you? Get relief today → https://hamr.link/e7c428 👉 *CREDIT BUILDER* Got crappy credit? Break free and finally build it for good → https://shorturl.at/zZf2P 👉 *AUTO LOANS* Get the best rates on an auto loan or refinance → https://shorturl.at/vNxQL 👉 *BEST HIGH-YIELD SAVINGS* Find the best high rate for a savings account →: https://hamr.link/363e17 👉 *TOP CREDIT CARDS* Stop with the BS and get the best points on your purchases → https://hamr.link/b7a5fb ============================= 🔥 MY NEW FLAVOR IS FINALLY LIVE!! Get Liquid Assets *NOW* for under 40 cents per serving!! Get 10% off your entire order with code CALEB - https://hamr.link/calebdrank 🔥 Get Your Own *Hammer Financial Score* → https://hamr.link/newquiz ============================= *Sponsors for This Video* ============================= Build credit fast and get your first month for just a dollar at https://getkikoff.com/caleb today. Thanks to Kikoff for sponsoring us! If you or someone you know experienced serious mental health struggles as a result of social media use, you may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. Visit https://morganmorganpa.sjv.io/c/7273707/4089046/23429?sharedid=caleb-hammer to submit a claim now. ============================= *Extra Resources* ============================= 👉 Checking & Savings: Get up to $350 and 3.75% APY on savings with Chime®: https://secure.moneymatchup.com/-caleb-chime-YT 👉 Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree: ➡ https://coursecareers.com/CalebHammer 👉 Protect your online privacy and security for free with Aura: ➡ https://aura.com/hammer ============================= *Education* ============================= 👉 Get access to EVERYTHING I offer all in one place: https://bit.ly/4sUm2pb ⚡Learn how to budget: https://bit.ly/4sspyGh ⚡Learn how to invest: https://bit.ly/41mr8OP ⚡Pay off your debt: https://calebhammer.com/master-your-debt ============================= *Chapters* ============================= 00:00 Intro 01:25 Jobs & Income 05:00 something not adding up... 06:25 smells like a gold diiiiiigger lol 13:20 bros trying to get her on a prenup LMAAOO 21:37 bros double dipping at work?? 28:10 oh great, hes getting physical too 37:03 whats buddy doing on whatsapp..? 41:14 buddy needs to find a new girl lol 01:08:11 WHAT AN INSANE BALANCE 01:25:45 Budget!! ============================= Want more content? ============================= 🍿 The Caleb Hammer Show: https://www.youtube.com/@calebhammershow 🍿 Caleb Hammer Top Videos https://www.youtube.com/@CalebHammerTopVideos 🍿 Caleb Hammer Clips: https://www.youtube.com/@calebhammerclips 🍿 Front Page Documentaries: https://www.youtube.com/@frontpagechannel ============================= *Connect with me!* ============================= TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calebhammercomposer X: https://x.com/sircalebhammer IG: https://www.instagram.com/calebhammercomposer/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/calebhammercomposer/ ============================= *Want to be a guest on Financial Audit?* ============================= 👉 We film weekdays in our studio in Austin, Texas (in person only)! To apply, visit: https://calebhammer.com/apply *Some of the links and other products that appear in this video are from companies for which Caleb Hammer will earn an affiliate commission or referral bonus. This is not investment advice. Business/General: [email protected] Sponsorships: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Caleb Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In-flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 0:27Caleb Hammer?

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies, 18 plus.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  Six months ago, you almost moved out and ended the relationship. You're in a four-year relationship, you're getting married next week.

• 0:56Speaker 03

  You come in with a bankruptcy, you've previously left a marriage. I take care of you and all your kids.

• 1:01Speaker 04

  Then why, when you get upset, throw it in my face that I'm not working?

• 1:05Speaker 03

  Because you complained that I don't do anything.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  So you saw the timestamps?

• 1:08Speaker 04

  I went to accountability and it didn't show anything, that he was on...

• 1:12Speaker 02

  It didn't show... Leave her. Do not marry this woman, she's a fucking crazy bitch, dude.

• 1:16Speaker 04

  There was quite a bit of like, stepdad, [BLEEP] on there. My oldest is 14.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  Oh. I just launched my brand-new cookbook, Just Pack a Sandwich. It's full of budget-friendly recipes I love. It's so good. Oh, really? Plus a few inspired by your favorite Financial Audit episodes. McDonald's, McDonald's! Right now, the only way to get a physical copy is with a full year of Dollar Wise. Go to dollarwise.com or click the link below to get yours.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit, right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances, with an interesting personality, or a story, or a life, or a relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to calebhammer.com/apply or click that link in the description below.

• 2:05Speaker 04

  I'm Jamie, and I'm 34.

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Hi, I'm James, and I'm 36, from Louisville, Kentucky.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  And this is Financial Audit.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Hey, thanks for coming down to Austin. Jamie, what do you do for a living up in Louisville?

• 2:19Speaker 04

  So, I'm a licensed barber, but right now, I'm a stay-at-home mom.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  Oh, kiddos, congratulations. How many kids you guys got?

• 2:27Speaker 04

  Uh, three. So, 14, nine, and six.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  14, nine, and six, okay. So, it is an interesting thing, because everyone that comes on the Financial Audit has horrible finances, and it seems that everyone that also comes on Financial Audit has more kids than the average person in the United States by far. And you're already doing that, because we're below two kids per average couple, so... Yeah.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Okay, so you're making nothing, wait.

• 2:55Speaker 04

  No, well, so I...

• 2:55Speaker 02

  When people go stay-at-home mom from a career, usually it's because their kid is like, super young. I mean, everyone's in grade school.

• 3:01Speaker 04

  Well...

• 3:02Speaker 02

  What's she doing during the day?

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Well, taking care of the household, really. Making sure kids get to go all the extracurricular activities.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  So, post-school, but like, what is she doing from eight to three?

• 3:14Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, we have three acres, and I have a hundred-square-foot garden, and we have two dogs.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  You're not walking around it very much.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Oh my gosh, yes I am. I've, I've lost a lot of weight, gained a lot of muscle, I've, I had quite a few health issues.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  You've been working the cows out on the pasture, haven't you?

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Trying to save money where we can, grow as much as we can.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, and I recently found out I have a corn allergy, but, so I was trying to go more natural, less preservatives.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  There's corn in everything.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Corn is not natural.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Well, the corn is in everything.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Okay, don't drink ethanol next time.

• 3:49Speaker 04

  Like, cornmeal, cornflour, you know, all that stuff.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Sure, because we're in Africa.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  So, you would be surprised, I mean, you would be surprised, like, almost all cereals have

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:00Speaker 04

  cornmeal in them.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  You were eating cereal at 34, okay.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  James, what do you do for a living?

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I'm a maintenance supervisor for a private mailhouse.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Okay, what does that make?

• 4:17Speaker 03

  About $93,000 a year.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  That's why, because Louisville's not a high-cost living city.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  I also started getting child support in August, as well.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Oh, they're not yours?

• 4:27Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  Are any of them?

• 4:28Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  None of them?

• 4:29Speaker 03

  None.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  You gonna do another, a little, uh, pop of the semen?

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Uh, she can't.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  Well, we'd have to do IVF.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that's expensive.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  What do you mean she can't?

• 4:38Speaker 03

  She has, uh, no fallopian tubes.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Oh, IVF, okay, are you gonna, do you want to do this?

• 4:43Speaker 04

  Possibly.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  That's been a...

• 4:45Speaker 02

  It's expensive.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that's what I said.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  So how many penises did you take?

• 4:49Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 4:49Speaker 03

  How many baby daddies?

• 4:50Speaker 04

  One dad, one dad for all three kids.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Previous marriage.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  How much do you get in the child support?

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Uh, $8.05 a month.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  What, for three kids?

• 4:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, because they based it off my previous income.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Your previous income, not his?

• 5:04Speaker 04

  Well...

• 5:04Speaker 03

  They can't base it off mine.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Oh, not yours, [BLEEP] the X.

• 5:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, so, oh my gosh. It was really messy, like, custody agreement-wise and everything else. We gained more custody September of last year, and it, I had to pursue the child support and everything.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  That didn't take effective till August.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  I'll see if I care later, but I need to know, James, what you make, uh, per paycheck cycle, and what is that?

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Uh, I get about $4,700 bucks a month, net to bank.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Are you sure? Like, based on your pay stub?

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, it's because I have, you know, retirement, uh...

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Well, how much goes to retirement?

• 5:41Speaker 03

  I put in 5%, and they match 5%.

• 5:45Speaker 03

  And then, you know, I have a, uh, union and dues and stuff like that.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Oh, you have a union, what percent do they take? Because right now, you're losing 45% of your income, and I know that's not all the taxes. You're not in the highest tax bracket, so something's... And if only 5% is going to retirement, there is something else missing.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  Well, there's health insurance, yeah.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, health insurance.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Sure, but what is that?

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Uh, about 85 of paycheck.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Okay, it's not adding up. Okay, union, though, union must be [BLEEP] siphoning.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, uh, well, I have to pay two. One for, uh, one is the union for, uh, because of maintenance workers, and then I have one, because I just went to supervision.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Oh, they're double-dipping, yeah, I love those things, they're so great.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  Kentucky state taxes are pretty high, too.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  For his income, doubt, but either way, like, I guess any taxes feels high.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  So I have health insurance, vision insurance, dental.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just all not covered, it's all...

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Yes, very good.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  What's going on? What are we talking about? What's happening here?

• 6:43Speaker 04

  So, I'm sick of being treated like a child in this relationship. Like, we don't have a joint account.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Oh, so I was wrong about the cow, it's a child. The way you're being...

• 6:53Speaker 04

  Oh, I mean, like, so before the child support started, if I needed cash, say, like, the kids needed money for a field trip, I would have to ask him if he could get the cash out.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  He is making all the money. Wait, how long have you guys been married?

• 7:07Speaker 03

  We're not.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  We're getting married Saturday.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Well, hold on then, it's totally fine. Why, why the [BLEEP] would you have access to the money? You're not married.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  That's my point exactly.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  Some, like, just so we have a shared account, because it's...

• 7:20Speaker 02

  You're not married!

• 7:21Speaker 04

  But me not working was a joint decision.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Congratulations, it's still your decision in the end. Like, he agreed to it, but it was your decision in the end. Did he agree, when you made that agreement, was the promise that you would get access to a joint banking account?

• 7:33Speaker 04

  No, I mean, he didn't say that, I just like...

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Well, that's interesting, shut the [BLEEP] up, Dad.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  Well, I just, I mean, like, you don't, oh, okay, so...

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Is that the move?

• 7:44Speaker 04

  We, we, we agreed, and the child support was supposed to start earlier, and there was a bunch of legal issues.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Kentucky actually went down 0.5% this year, by the way. They actually cut taxes, continue.

• 7:57Speaker 04

  But the, like, the other aspect is, I don't know where anything is coming. Like, I don't know what's coming and going at all, so if...

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  If, you know, he's...

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Is it your money?

• 8:10Speaker 04

  Well, no, but how am I...

• 8:11Speaker 02

  Are you married?

• 8:12Speaker 04

  How am I supposed to manage the household, like, buying groceries?

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Is that your responsibility?

• 8:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, I get the dog medicine, take them to the vet, you know?

• 8:21Speaker 02

  So how do we communicate that, then? Because that, that could be fair.

• 8:23Speaker 04

  I mean, I ask, like, I have to ask him what's available. He gives me a credit card to use for regular expenses, and I'll have to ask him how much is... I'll have to ask him how much is available, like, can I...

• 8:36Speaker 02

  Is she maxing it out?

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Well, it has been, but I've always, I end up keeping it down, I've never had late payments.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Is she maxing it out?

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Not on a regular basis, no.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Then why does she have to ask, if there's room on it?

• 8:49Speaker 04

  I don't know, that's...

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Do you, is he making you ask?

• 8:53Speaker 04

  I mean, yeah, because there's been times he's like, there's nothing on it right now, and I'm, okay, well, what am I, like, I need to get this?

• 8:59Speaker 03

  I tell her when she can spend and when she can't.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  I'm confused, you guys had the agreement that she takes care of the household and groceries and stuff?

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  So, what do you, like, why then do you say what and when?

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Because it basically depends on paychecks and when I've actually put, you know, made a payment towards that.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  So you're saying how much is left to spend?

• 9:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  What if there isn't anything to spend and she needs to get groceries, what happens?

• 9:19Speaker 03

  I find a way to make, get, put money on that card.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  On the card, you don't do anything extra, not a debit card, not a backup?

• 9:26Speaker 03

  No, most of my debit card transactions are just payments.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  And I don't give a [BLEEP] that you guys don't have a joint account, you're literally not married, I do not care.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  If you guys chose to have one together, then that's also fine, but like...

• 9:37Speaker 04

  It's just, you know, it's just the whole thing of, like, you want me to take care of all this stuff, and I don't know where we stand budget-wise, like, I don't know what he's been...

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Why can't she log into the credit card just account as a viewer? Why can't she give her viewer access?

• 9:50Speaker 04

  Everything has been after the wedding.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Maybe, I don't know, have the account.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  It's on Capital One app, so anything, if you log in, you're in control of the account.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Well, I know, but that's why I said, maybe we can get some viewership access, maybe...

• 10:03Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm not opposed to that, but I don't, honestly, it's not, she's not, you know, these were credit cards I had before I even met her.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Does she have a budget?

• 10:11Speaker 04

  No, he went, so, a couple months ago, with like, with all the wedding expenses and everything else, and what was still owed, you know, to different vendors and stuff, we sat down and I said, okay, this is what's still owed to these people, and when? What, you know, like, is this okay? Do we need to cut anything out, like, hair or makeup, or, you know, because his, uh, his sister got kicked out? Yes. I mean, well, I mean, the bridesmaids are well, cuz he told me I have it in savings. Everything, you know, is covered for the wedding in the savings account. Well, I found out like this past week that apparently there's no more money. And I didn't even-

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Is it your money?

• 10:51Speaker 04

  No, but it's the, he doesn't give me a budget or anything like I don't know where we're standing.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Have you asked for a budget?

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Yes. But it's never been stuck to, so we wrote everything down-

• 11:03Speaker 02

  What do you mean stuck to? What was the response when you asked for a budget?

• 11:06Speaker 04

  So we did download Dollar Wise and then-

• 11:08Speaker 02

  What was your response when you asked for a budget?

• 11:11Speaker 04

  He didn't-

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Answer the f- question.

• 11:13Speaker 04

  I just, he didn't really give me one. I mean, I had to sit down with him.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  When she asked for a budget, cuz she is spending your money. You guys aren't married, so I don't really care about the joint access right now.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  I mean-

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Why don't you give her a budget? If you were putting the responsibility on her plate to have to deal with all the household shopping.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  So, pretty much the, I didn't really have a budget to give her cuz I mean-

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Your income's consistent. There's a budget to give her. You can make a f- budget, dude.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just haven't really sat down and actually did it.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Why?

• 11:44Speaker 04

  And we moved into-

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Laziness.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Oh, well, this is, congratulations, the part where you get to vet a partner.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  I mean, it ju- then that's-

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Now, financial conversations are important to understand each other's personal financial situation. Now, so that's where the red flag would come for him draining his savings, right? Cuz it's like, if he chooses to spend his money, that's his choice right now cuz that's that. But you learning about it is where you can be, okay, hey, maybe this isn't the guy for me. Cuz finance is being one of the leading causes for divorce in this country.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  So we moved into, how, we moved out of Louisville last August. And that's part of the reason I'm not working because, well, that's where originally, so we moved out. We, it's like an hour away. And it was really difficult for me to find a barber position out there where I could make the money-

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Is it the middle of nowhere?

• 12:38Speaker 04

  For the kids a bit, yeah.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Well, no f- shit then, don't move to the middle of nowhere where there's less demand for services.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  I don't have sympathy for a choice you made.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  No, I'm just saying like it just, there are circumstances that put us in this position. I mean, the transmission went out-

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Middle of nowhere?

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Hit, that's where his family is. They're there.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  You have to live near his family?

• 13:03Speaker 04

  That's what he wanted.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Wanted. You didn't have to, you chose to.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  And I didn't know this at the time, but our mortgage, like the mortgage doubled. And he, with him not having a budget or anything, well, yeah, but I didn't know it was gonna impact the finances as much as it has.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  It is important to know when you're getting into it.

• 13:23Speaker 04

  Like he didn't change really any of his spending. No, no.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Okay, listen, yeah, I guess it's, yeah, it is important for you to at least know the ins and outs before getting into marriage. But until you guys are married, it's like not, it's, I mean, it is his-

• 13:38Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, the whole-

• 13:39Speaker 02

  But it's good for you to know so you can walk away before you get into it. But asking for access right now before marriage, like I'm not really there.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  Well, it's just like if he came to me and said, okay, this is what we have for grocery budget. This is what we have for extra expenses, you know, as far as like if there's a field trip, the kids need shoes, you know, school supplies.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  I get that. He said he's lazy, so what are you gonna do? Are you gonna marry a lazy guy that doesn't care? Are you? When did, did he say it was next week?

• 14:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  Well, and then there's the whole prenups situation too, because he hasn't, yes. He said, unless I sign the prenup-

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Why are you getting into a prenup? You're not in like that income type of situation. What's your net worth?

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Oh, I have no idea what my net worth is.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Negative, like what the, why are you prenupping her?

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Well, he's saying it's-

• 14:24Speaker 02

  She a gold digging whore?

• 14:26Speaker 03

  No, not that I know of. She's had a previous marriage.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, so what's the issue?

• 14:29Speaker 04

  It's basically nothing from that marriage. I mean-

• 14:33Speaker 03

  Pretty much I wanted to know, uh, I wanna protect my retirement. Cuz I do have a fairly substantial retirement right now. It's about a hundred and thirty thousand.

• 14:43Speaker 04

  But in the state of Kentucky-

• 14:44Speaker 02

  It's not good for your income at your age.

• 14:46Speaker 04

  It's protected. I mean, in the state of Kentucky, it's protected.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  And she came in with, uh, what, a bankruptcy already?

• 14:54Speaker 02

  Also, you're just afraid of her financial mismanagement.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  But, I mean, prenup wouldn't really protect that in a marriage. It would just protect via divorce.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  And then my house, I wanna, I wanna make sure like, cuz my house is in my name. I just wanna make sure that, you know, say she wants to up and leave, you know? Then I'm, I have to sell my house.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  Why would you get with a woman and marry her though if you're afraid she's gonna up and leave? If you don't have that level of confidence, why are you marrying her?

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Well, it's more, uh, prepare to the wor- prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  That's, I mean-

• 15:21Speaker 03

  That's my motto.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  And how do you feel about this?

• 15:23Speaker 04

  So the whole thing, so I looked it up, in the state of Kentucky, until the day we're married, I can't pursue his retirement up and like-

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Until the day you're married?

• 15:33Speaker 04

  It only, I could only get a portion of his retirement from the day that we're married. So like, everything he's already saved up for his retirement is protected.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  I get it, but does that include compound growth in the market though?

• 15:45Speaker 04

  I'm not sure, so-

• 15:46Speaker 02

  He's gonna get the most of his growth from?

• 15:48Speaker 04

  Well, and then like he talked about his inheritance cuz his dad has a bunch of land. But like it's in a trust, so the, I don't know that they're, you know? I don't think there's any way I could have access to that unless his dad specifically added me into the trust. And what was the other thing? Wasn't there one other thing?

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Are you insulted by her? Like, what's the issue? Like, it doesn't sound like you're that big of a-

• 16:10Speaker 04

  I mean-

• 16:11Speaker 02

  If you guys both agree for a prenup, I also don't care. Consentient adults can do whatever the f- they want unless it's like illegal. What are you, a cop?

• 16:18Speaker 04

  I don't know if they're, because I don't have access to anything and everything was supposed to be good and now it's not good. Is he potentially hiding something that I'm not aware of?

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Also, at the same time, you know-

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Prenup? Like, that's what you're afraid of?

• 16:32Speaker 04

  Well, I haven't seen it.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  You think he has like a big thing of gold that he's hiding? That's what you're afraid of?

• 16:36Speaker 04

  I haven't seen the prenup. It hasn't been put in front of me, so how can I say that I am okay with it?

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Doesn't matter. Like, you could put in there, like if he does something egregious, then it voids.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  I asked him if we could add that in there and-

• 16:49Speaker 02

  Well, you just said you're afraid of her getting up and leaving. I'm sorry, but if you cheat or something, have it be voided.

• 16:54Speaker 04

  That was my whole point.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  That's fair.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean, that's only if you write that in there.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, so write it in there.

• 16:59Speaker 04

  And he doesn't wanna do that, I mean-

• 17:01Speaker 02

  A week before marriage?

• 17:03Speaker 04

  But it is-

• 17:03Speaker 02

  What is wrong with you guys?

• 17:04Speaker 04

  It has been such an argument and I asked him if it was that important. I, it's been like six months plus. No, I haven't seen it.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  What are you gonna do a week from now if she doesn't sign it?

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Well, and that's what I told him.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  That's a decision I wanna have to make.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  I was like, are, is your best man gonna walk up to me the day of the wedding and say, here, sign this prenup? Or everything's off and you walk away with nothing and nothing to show for it? Like, that's, that's the point that I'm at right now. Like, I-

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Well, you haven't seen it.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  Well, exactly. So how can I-

• 17:33Speaker 00

  Hey, Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  Agree to something that I haven't seen.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  I have them. And it has all your agreements in it, and you guys can choose to sign it at the end or not.

• 18:06Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  But we'll get there. But yes, uh, of course, if you've beat her or something like that should be in there that she gets.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Oh, that's fair.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  So you agree to it?

• 18:15Speaker 03

  To an extent, she wants-

• 18:16Speaker 02

  To an extent, what's he said?

• 18:17Speaker 03

  So, the, what she wanted in there is to want me to have to support her kids after-

• 18:23Speaker 04

  I didn't say support the kids.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, no matter what.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  I said, potentially like a savings account set up for them because, I mean-

• 18:31Speaker 03

  Figured that responsibility should fall upon their father.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Well, yes.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  As I've assumed responsibility to take care of them now.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  But it, like, so he's been in their lives since the youngest was three, like she doesn't know life without him.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Still not biologically as good, like, so he didn't choose to bring him into the world.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  It's to the point of calling him dad. I mean, I'm just saying it does matter though, like if he wants to be that person in their life.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Just do it where he owes if he does something bad.

• 18:59Speaker 04

  I mean, I guess that's fair. That's, that's a fair statement.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Now, do you trust her that she couldn't find a job? If we're just talking about trust and getting into this thing next week, she says she moved to this small town and couldn't find a barber job. Do you trust her on that?

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Well, I really didn't look it in, into it at all, so I don't really know.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  Care?

• 19:17Speaker 04

  And he, I've-

• 19:18Speaker 02

  So how many did you apply to in the area?

• 19:19Speaker 04

  Well, I called a ton of shops. I called over ten. I mean, I called some, like, areas that were about thirty minutes.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, so you called all?

• 19:30Speaker 04

  Most of them don't have chairs open.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Well, I know, but you, if you'll call and apply, that's where you figure out, right?

• 19:36Speaker 04

  As a, so I would be an independent contractor. Like, so it's not that I'm applying.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  You can work at Great Clips for a second to make some money.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  They don't, they don't accept barbers in my, in Kentucky.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  You have to be a, uh-

• 19:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, so that-

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Stylist, what is it called?

• 19:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, a cosmetologist. You have to have a cosmetologist license to work at Great Clips. So like Fantastic Sam's, a bunch of those like fr- franchise hair places that you would think of, they don't accept barbers. And I've offered to get like a part-time job or something to help with this situation.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Why are you getting, do you agree with the prenup or not, if there's those stipulations in?

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  So what's the f- to your problem?

• 20:14Speaker 04

  Well, because I haven't, because every time I asked him about bringing up a prenup, he wouldn't put it in front of me. It was just, I'm gonna get to it, I'm gonna get to it.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Sounds like you're getting married next week without a prenup. Big W for you.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  But at the same time, I don't want him to-

• 20:32Speaker 04

  Like, I don't, I don't know. I just, it's, it's been a lot. Everything is-

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Oh, it's been a lot. What's been a lot?

• 20:42Speaker 04

  Well, he's, he has hidden stuff from me in the past that I wouldn't have expected. And so that is a little bit-

• 20:55Speaker 02

  What, about almost four years?

• 20:56Speaker 04

  Almost four years. Yeah.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  What has he hidden from you? That would make me concerned, but you are the one saying your vows in a week.

• 21:02Speaker 04

  It wasn't financially, like, he, he pays for an app called Accountability. Accountable, accountable to you is what it's called.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Accountable to you? Accountable to you? App, accountable, oh, the, the number two, accountability software. Uh, digital accountability for those serious about transparency, purity and integrity. Guard against temptations. What the [__] is this?

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  You [__] freaks? What is wrong with you? What happened?

• 21:35Speaker 03

  I had a gooning problem.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  Who doesn't?

• 21:38Speaker 04

  Well, it was to the point of affecting our relationship and I found out that there were some conversations with people at his work. Um-

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Wait, what do you mean?

• 21:49Speaker 04

  So, most of it was before we became an official couple, but like, we were supposed to be exclusive. I found something before he switched to a supervisor position where one of his coworkers was apparently grabbing his ass.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  But, so, why weren't you telling her to stop that you're with someone? I mean, I can see how that'd break trust in this relationship. It's right before the [__] marriage, though.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  So that, I mean, that is a big part of why I've questioned so much about this prenup. Like, is there something that I'm not aware of because-

• 22:19Speaker 02

  But that's why you have the accountability app, though, right? Cause you guys are [__] freaks.

• 22:22Speaker 04

  So-

• 22:24Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, that's insane that you guys are like-

• 22:26Speaker 04

  Lately, it seems like there's, there's gaps. There's like three hours where it's showing nothing. And I don't know why.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Why would it show nothing? I don't know the app.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  The only thing, only thing I can think of why it would show nothing is I'm not doing anything on the phone.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what I would assume.

• 22:42Speaker 04

  He uses his phone for work. So if he's at work and it's not showing anything, you know-

• 22:46Speaker 02

  You're on your phone at work 24 hours a day?

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Well, most, like, most of my employees are out throughout.

• 22:50Speaker 04

  I mean, and I-

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Okay, are you on your phone every second of the day?

• 22:53Speaker 03

  No, not at all.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Okay, so what?

• 22:55Speaker 04

  Well, and I've, I've, I've found pictures from, like, nudity pictures from people he worked with that he was- So, she's blocked on Facebook now, but it was, like, that took a lot, honestly, to-

• 23:10Speaker 02

  To get her to block her or to get him to block her?

• 23:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  You suck with money, so you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, YNAB, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to EveryDollar, that's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're gonna force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they wanna sell you in the end? Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like Dollar Wise. Built by these people just like you, for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  Download it now, start the free trial, dollarwise.com, link in the description below. Guys, you've known me since the beginning and the fact is, I just love building products that help people and we're continuing to do that with Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Listen, now you got personal loans that you can get the best rates on forever you wanna use it for, whether it's consolidation after you change your behavior or you need to purchase something that gets a good return on investment. And now we got credit building as well. You can shop for the best credit builders that are either free or low cost to you and build that credit. We got debt forgiveness and debt consolidation as well. We got auto loans for your new car that are great rates, or you can refinance your horrible auto loan today. And not only that, now you can shop for the best car insurance out there.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  The thing is, we are building more and more of these to help you get the best tools and services that you can possibly get online at the best rates. So check those out at CalebHammer.com. All those links are below in the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Check them out. Save yourself a lot of money.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  I saw a text between them where it was like, "Meet me at this dock." You know, and-

• 25:01Speaker 02

  A couple years ago?

• 25:03Speaker 04

  This was before you switched to the supervisor position, like, last September?

• 25:09Speaker 02

  Okay, so meet me by the dock?

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he said it was because she didn't have a radio, so they would go to meet in person. I'm like, why are you texting that?

• 25:16Speaker 03

  That's an entirely different person. That was, that's-

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Well, there were so many-

• 25:21Speaker 03

  There was quite a few.

• 25:22Speaker 04

  Conversation, honestly, that it's, it's hard for me to keep track of who was, what, when, where.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  You were flirting with a lot of different women?

• 25:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, kinda.

• 25:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, and now, like, so that-

• 25:33Speaker 02

  You guys together, you guys were together for two or three years at this point?

• 25:36Speaker 03

  It was about two.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Even still, it's crazy, dude.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  Well, and it wasn't, it wasn't just-

• 25:41Speaker 02

  That's not a gooning problem, that's cheating.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  It wasn't just women at work. It was also like, you know, like Reddit or Instagram. Like, if a woman reached out to him, he wouldn't start the conversation, but he wouldn't finish the conversation either. I mean-

• 25:55Speaker 02

  It feels good to get flirted, too. That's why sometimes there's like open flirting, you know, in relationships like we're allowed, cause it just, it boosts the ego, right?

• 26:02Speaker 03

  And, and a lot of it, you know, especially on our, from being a guy's standpoint, a lot of it's bots. And you're honestly just trying to see, is this a real person or is this a-

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Why do you care?

• 26:11Speaker 04

  But why would you be looking into it? I mean, and this was at a time in our relationship when like, our sex life was not-

• 26:18Speaker 03

  You ever mess with, uh, telemarketers when they call you?

• 26:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 26:22Speaker 03

  You know?

• 26:23Speaker 04

  You don't do that when you're in a relationship, though. You don't, you don't entertain the idea of someone flirting with you.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  What was happening during this time?

• 26:31Speaker 04

  Like, our sex life was not great at this time. I mean, like, maybe once a month.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, you were also having a lot of surgeries and stuff at the time.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  This was not during that time. This was after when I had been doing better.

• 26:45Speaker 03

  I think the timeline might be a little skewed there.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  No, when all this came up.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  No, when it all came up.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  And you, like, you had hidden, you said you were gonna get off stuff, and then I saw you were still on Instagram. Remember?

• 27:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  And you said it was because the guy at work was, would send you Instagram reels and stuff. And, you know, and I saw like his Reddit and he had a Twitter account and, like, I didn't know how bad it was.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  People have those accounts. That's not a red flag.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  But it was like, it was like all women, and there were like, women masturbating and there was-

• 27:22Speaker 02

  On Reddit? Or on Instagram?

• 27:25Speaker 04

  On Reddit.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, that's on Reddit.

• 27:27Speaker 04

  Or X, like, you know, so, but like, that's all his feed was, was pretty much just like women.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Goon pay, dude? That's kinda crazy.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, but, so-

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, she would go into the laundry and find cum rags.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  Or near like a computer, remember? There was quite a bit of like, stepdad [__] there. My oldest is 14.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  Never had it, has anything occurred, nor will it ever occur.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  I've had to be candid, like, I mean, it's not what I consume. Uh, I usually more enjoy, if you wanna get into my goon shit, it's like, just like casual couples filming. But, but, the stepmother, stepfather [__], that's like 80% of the [__] right now.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  And, and like, there were a lot of times when all this was going on where I was trying to initiate sex and he would be like, "I'm too tired," or, you know, and then I found out- Yeah, but then if I'm constantly being rejected, why do, why should I still try to pursue?

• 28:30Speaker 02

  But then he goes and watches porn.

• 28:31Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  That's bad. That's bad.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  You know, so, like-

• 28:36Speaker 02

  You're not gonna find me being like, "Oh no, you don't want," like, you will, the one thing I've been on your side for is one, "Uh, don't flirt with coworkers, don't flirt with people if you guys don't have an open flirting whatever, whatever." That's cheating, that's bad, but also, it's a year ago, your sex lives are good now. And, uh, I'm also like, I am also on her side when it says, "Hey, don't watch porn if you're turning her down." But again, that was a year ago. Why the [__] do I give a shit?

• 29:03Speaker 03

  We also, you know, came, had conversations and I've-

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Well, I'm saying, this was in February, so actually, that's not a year ago.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  No, that's when she discovered it.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Oh, wait. Okay, make that make sense. Timeline for me.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Well, no, she-

• 29:17Speaker 02

  What do you mean she discovered it?

• 29:18Speaker 03

  Well, she saw, got my phone and saw that, she saw the-

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Dad called, so I went to answer it, cause I know you're like, always wanna answer the phone.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  The past apps.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  And then after the phone call was over, I saw Reddit and a video was up.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  So, okay, earlier this year, he was choosing [__] over you.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Oh, well, that's actually a lot different then.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  And this is not when I had all this shit going on.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  This is just a few months ago, and we're getting married next week. Oh, okay, well, that's actually different. Okay.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  And then, like, in a lot of these conversations, when he gets really mad, like, he's punching things. We have a hole in our garage wall from where he punched the wall.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Why are you choosing to marry that? I'm sorry, what the [__] is that? He's not a 14-year-old kid anymore, like teenage.

• 30:08Speaker 04

  I mean, so like, it's not like it happens every single time. I mean, for the most part, he's-

• 30:12Speaker 02

  It happens. You have kids. You're considering making another one.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  With someone that punches holes into walls? That's not-

• 30:20Speaker 04

  Well, and, you know, like, I've told him that I really think he should get into therapy.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  Oh, that's great, but you're choosing to marry that next week before he did. How often does he get aggressive?

• 30:31Speaker 04

  I mean, it just happened the other day.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  What happened? What was the argument?

• 30:35Speaker 04

  He's, he's had like really bad allergies lately. He wasn't feeling great. And I asked him if he could help out because we needed to get a bunch of stuff done before the kids got home and we were traveling. And he got-

• 30:49Speaker 02

  It feels like your job. The guy works, but okay.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  He got really defensive. Well, because I couldn't get everything done by myself.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  You come in here and say, and just start attitude, angry vacuuming.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  That's not what happened.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  That is what happened.

• 31:02Speaker 04

  No, because after we left seeing the DJ, after we left seeing the DJ, I made a to do list in the car. And I said, this is what needs to get done. Are you okay with it? And then you cleaned-

• 31:13Speaker 03

  You said, I made myself a to do list. Do you want me to make you one?

• 31:15Speaker 04

  And I said, is there anything else that needs to be added in there? I said, is there anything else that we need to add in there? Do you want me to make you a to do list? And you're like, I don't need a to do list. And I said, okay. So then we got home and you cleaned up most of the front yard and came inside and said, I need a minute. So I was like, okay, fine. And I was doing stuff. And then I came in the room like 30 minutes later and said, can you get ahold of your brother in law?

• 31:38Speaker 03

  And I said, yes.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  About watching the kids? And, but you didn't get ahold of him. You sent him a text. So then 30 minutes later, you're still sitting there. That's more than a minute to relax and refresh. And so I got frustrated and then you got really mad. And one thing led to another and you said, well, why don't you be the bread, like, why don't you be the breadwinner? And then you punched something.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  See, why are we doing this? This is not necessarily, not a great environment for kids if we're endlessly punching-

• 32:07Speaker 03

  None of them were ever around, no.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  That's how it always starts. I've had it on this show. I know how it escalates.

• 32:14Speaker 04

  My dad would, he would put his head through walls, like-

• 32:17Speaker 02

  What?

• 32:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. No, that was my household growing up. Like I had a fractured arm.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  A week from now? It's, it's interesting. Like you, you keep being the victim in this story from your own words and then you're choosing to marry next week. So I'm like, I, I have a hard time like sympathizing when you're choosing to commit for life.

• 32:36Speaker 04

  So it, it's gotten, it's gotten worse than before. It was like once in a blue me-

• 32:43Speaker 02

  And you're choosing to marry that next week?

• 32:45Speaker 03

  I try to remove myself from the situation because when I feel myself getting worked up, I want to go be alone.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Sure, but you go and hit something instead. What?

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Well, no, it's because she keeps following me. Won't let me leave.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  Why do you do that? Come on.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  She won't let me go reset.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  That is not, that is, I've gotten much better about that. Maybe in the past I did that.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Just the last time, you stood in front of the door and wouldn't let me go out of the door because I was trying to go calm down. So I don't overreact.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  You went and stayed at your dad's and you didn't tell me till you, you said, I'm gonna go hang out at my dad's for a little bit. And then you stayed the night and I didn't know.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  So?

• 33:21Speaker 04

  And, well, the kids were at the house.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Your kids?

• 33:24Speaker 04

  Yes. They were at the house and he just, he just left. And, you know, like I, he said, I need a minute.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  I just didn't tell you how long I was gonna be there.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  You should have.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  I did. That's true.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  You texted me after you left. And so like, yeah, I, in that moment, I didn't do the right thing. And I, I got in your way and I said, I can't have you go stay at your dad's again.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  Get in the way? What do you think that's gonna do to someone that's fired up? This person is de-escalating because they know they get too, so angry they hit things that they were trying to walk away and you get in their way?

• 34:00Speaker 04

  Well, so the thing-

• 34:01Speaker 02

  What the fuck is wrong with you?

• 34:03Speaker 04

  I did get out of his way after he was like, I need you to move, you know? And I said, I just, I can't have you go in your dad's again.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Which, yes, you can, by the way.

• 34:17Speaker 04

  So, I mean, I've, there's been times where we almost split up. Where I was willing to walk away and start all over again.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  When?

• 34:27Speaker 04

  Because, I mean, it's happened several times in the past year.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  In the past year? Have you left?

• 34:33Speaker 04

  I mean, no.

• 34:37Speaker 04

  Because especially with-

• 34:38Speaker 02

  So what do you mean then? What are you saying?

• 34:40Speaker 04

  It's, it's pretty complicated.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Uncomplicate it with words.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  So just with that custody agreement, because I've been back and forth so much with my ex. He has constantly fought me to gain more custody and I-

• 34:57Speaker 02

  So you can't leave him?

• 34:58Speaker 04

  I'm a little worried that I'll lose my kids if I do.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Why? Because he makes all the money?

• 35:03Speaker 04

  I don't have a place.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  I provide a stable environment.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  The only reason you're getting married with him is to keep your kids? I'm being told six months ago, you almost moved out and ended the relationship. That was six months ago. You're in a four year relationship. You're getting married next week.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  But you didn't just to keep the kids?

• 35:19Speaker 04

  No, because he got the accountability app and he talked to his dad about it and his dad gets a-

• 35:25Caleb Hammer?

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration blog. Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses setup required. Compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Slurts and stuff. And he was talking about going to therapy. Well, I didn't want to be the only one.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  So six months ago, he talked about going to therapy. He hasn't gone to a therapy in six months? When he talked about it and you're getting married next week? These are interesting choices you're making. Listen, here's the thing. I might be on your side for this conversation. There's nothing pushing back so far. It's because you're choosing to get married next week. You're playing victim and then you're choosing to commit to it for life. So I'm like, what am I dealing with? She's a-

• 36:20Speaker 04

  I wouldn't take it that far.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  I would. That's why I said you-

• 36:24Speaker 04

  Overall, he-

• 36:26Speaker 02

  He got the accountability app. What has hap- so what does it do?

• 36:30Speaker 04

  So like there's certain settings where it'll flag, like if he gets on Reddit, it'll send an alert.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  It's Reddit. He doesn't have to, there's other things on Reddit besides Goonie.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, that was pretty much, that was pretty much all that was on there. I mean, like Instagram was the same thing. I mean, because there was even a point where I found out he was using a, uh, what was it? Wallpaper app? Or wallpaper?

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  Thing to watch-

• 37:00Speaker 03

  On Steam.

• 37:01Speaker 04

  Because it was on his computer. So like, I don't get notifications for that.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  What? Huh? I, I don't know.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Wallpaper engine is what, it's a program. It's interactive wallpapers. And-

• 37:13Speaker 04

  I never would have guessed that you could get on that.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what happened. Wow. It's almost like you could have said that. People don't know how to do podcasts. Okay.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  You were watching, yeah, via wallpapers.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 04

  And he didn't, he didn't tell me about it. At this point, I was asking him like-

• 37:30Speaker 02

  When was this? Post the accountability app?

• 37:32Speaker 04

  Probably March.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Is he allowed to watch porn?

• 37:35Speaker 04

  No, I'm not comfortable with it.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  But your sex life has improved. He's gotten under control.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, we also-

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Why can't he watch porn in a healthy way?

• 37:44Speaker 04

  I, I don't know that he's capable of it.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  Maybe not, but the thing is, he's, he's fixed what you've asked for.

• 37:53Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, the anger issues have been worse.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  Well, that has nothing to do with Goonie.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  I mean, some people might argue.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Well, maybe I guess, but he hasn't fixed it. You're getting married with him next week, so.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  A lot of the times it's, I'm the one pursuing intimacy.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 38:08Speaker 04

  And like I, he turns me down. I mean, you turn me down about half the time. I'm too tired or-

• 38:15Speaker 02

  Okay, how many hours a week do you work?

• 38:17Speaker 03

  At work? Forty. But then I've mostly also been renovating the house and I've been hauling.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  He's allowed to be tired sometimes.

• 38:24Speaker 04

  And I'm, so I-

• 38:25Speaker 02

  He's allowed to say no, as long as he also says yes. Others.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  With recently, and like this came up since getting accepted on the show, I, in the hiatus of sex, that like, there's the gaps in the accountability, like reports. And so I went to his Google Play history and saw WhatsApp Messenger. And given what's happened in the past.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  What the fuck are you doing on WhatsApp?

• 38:48Speaker 03

  Uh, nothing.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Show me then.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 38:52Speaker 04

  Do you, so that, you know, like that's been-

• 38:56Speaker 03

  I mean, here, you can.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  Well, you gotta pull it up. He doesn't know how to work a-

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I don't have WhatsApp.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Download it then.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  What'd you see on the Google Play store?

• 39:05Speaker 04

  I mean, it just so right, like the day before we were supposed to go for this 30 day of no sex is when WhatsApp Messenger popped up.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  In what way did it pop up?

• 39:15Speaker 04

  Well, it just says that he visited WhatsApp Messenger and then there were more times after that.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Make sure you're watching.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  So he's, he went into Google Play to download WhatsApp. And I, he has three different emails that he uses and I don't know that which one it was. And if it's not a device that you recognize, it'll give-

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Make sure he's logging in with his default into WhatsApp.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  And he-

• 39:41Speaker 02

  What do you mean he visited it? How did, in Google Play, you said he visited it?

• 39:45Speaker 04

  It just shows-

• 39:45Speaker 02

  What does that even mean?

• 39:46Speaker 04

  It just shows when you get on, like when you use an app. Basically, like I think Apple has something similar, like Apple Play history or something.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  Amy, what's he doing?

• 39:59Speaker 04

  He has, he's putting in his date of birth.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  He's signing it up. No, this doesn't make sense. Log into your account.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  I don't have one.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  The only thing I can think is it's, I have a coin sorting game and then you can watch ads at past levels.

• 40:14Speaker 04

  Well, and what I don't understand is why, like the WhatsApp Messenger is not showing up on accountability.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  I've had this phone number for the last, what, three years?

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Okay, go ahead.

• 40:23Speaker 04

  So, and he, he has a work phone as well that I don't have access to. Like I don't know the password. And he, he didn't bring his work phone.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  But I'm not allowed to do, like it's monitored by the IT service at my work. If anything is going on there, I, I'll get fired.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  That's fair. That's fair. And I know his workplace. They are quite strict, so.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  You know, but it's just like, why is it saying that you have a WhatsApp Messenger if you, like why, that you're getting on there?

• 40:52Speaker 03

  I have to set up a profile right now.

• 40:54Speaker 04

  But at the same time, it doesn't show it up on accountability. Like there's gaps in accountability when it says you're on that and it doesn't show like that you're on the coin game or anything like that. It's just blank space.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  It's like, when am I at work? So sometimes I'll be playing the coin game or I'll, and I'll hit home.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  What you don't understand is it, it should still show that and it's not showing that. There's just nothing.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  I'm not a software engineer. I don't know how that happens.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  Well, and I, like, so there's, if he puts it in power saving mode.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  With everything that has happened in the past, and well, there was also when he had, he got, he downloaded mods for, what was that game?

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Oh, Skyrim.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  Skyrim.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Skyrim.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  He had changed it to where, so it was like, because it was like all women with like giant boobs that were super bouncy. And then when you took the people into a house or something, they were in lingerie and you could have sex with them.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  When?

• 41:56Speaker 04

  This was what, April?

• 41:58Speaker 03

  Well, no, that's because I've had that mod pack on there for god knows how long.

• 42:01Speaker 04

  Well, and then you tried to tell me you didn't know about that stuff. And you were like, well, they could be naked. It could be worse. So you either knew about it or you didn't know about it.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't know the details of all the mod packs. So there's like 3,000, 3,500 mods that downloads in a pack.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  And you had to press certain buttons to activate the mods. So if I just got on there, I wouldn't have seen it, but I had, I was, you know, looking at that and then it said, do this. And then it's, changes the whole game to

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, like I said.

• 42:30Speaker 04

  Basically sex land. I mean.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Brother, you're a smoker.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Oh, you people are disgusting.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  I mean, you're acting a bit crazy though.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  Okay, but I mean, if you look back at everything, I, I feel like it's appropriate for me to have questions and try to understand what's going on.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  There's a difference between questions and going batshit crazy.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  I don't think this is batshit crazy. I mean.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  I don't know. You're, this is, I couldn't be with this.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  But since you've confronted me about it, and I agreed, I've tried very hard.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  But you haven't, you haven't gone to therapy.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  I agree with you on that. I agree with you on that, but you're throwing out like the secret WhatsApp, TikTok, all this stuff. I'm not seeing.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Well, anytime you have questions, I give you my phone and let you go through it.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, but there, like I said, there's also your work phone that I don't have access to.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Which is very strict.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  Is what you say.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  You know, and given like conversations between coworkers in the past.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  In the past. You're, dude, you're beating, this is so weird. Like I swear, men don't do this. Women do, only women do this. Where like, he legitimately did something bad.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  Shh.

• 43:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Quiet bird woman. The thing is, I mean, he'd, shut the fuck up smoker, lung cancer, future nasty mother.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  So.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  Shut the fuck up, I'm talking. Guys, I'm trying to make a point. And I was actually gonna be on your side for a second, you

• 44:14Speaker 02

  men don't do this, only women do this, where a man did something bad a year ago, worked to fix it, they fixed it. And then a year later, a woman is still like destroying him for it, even though he's already fixed it. Like, I don't understand.

• 44:27Speaker 04

  I mean, it's because there were so many times where he said it was fine. And then I found out it was not fine.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  But then, alright, so at the same time, you know, we've come, we've had made agreements and there, and I take care of you and all your kids. I've, I've, I've, all their needs are taken.

• 44:43Speaker 04

  That we both made. I mean, it's not.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Everything has been taken care of.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  It's just, you say you, you're trying to change and everything and, but you haven't, like, what I've told you in the past is you can't replace one thing. You, there's gotta be a fill-in for that space where you were spending all that time looking at and everything else.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Doesn't matter, dude.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Well, but if, if he lied to me repeatedly over months and I had to.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  It pisses me off that I'm actually trying to make, I've made these changes.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  And you still accuse me. I mean, if I'm being accused, why not do the crime?

• 45:33Speaker 04

  I.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  If I'm already being accused anyway.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  Look, bad credit or no credit is expensive. You get hit with higher deposits, worse rates, denied apartments, denied cars, all because the system basically wants you to already have credit before it lets you build credit. It's dumb. That's why today's video is sponsored by Kickoff. Kickoff is a credit building app that actually helps you build credit easily and affordably. Plans start at just $5 a month. There's no credit check, no hidden fees and no interest. You can sign up in minutes from your phone, set up auto pay and start building positive payment history with tiny on-time monthly payments. It also helps improve key factors in your credit, like payment history, utilization and credit mix. What I like is how simple it is.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Small payments, set up auto pay and give yourself one less opportunity to forget the damn payment. And for people starting below 600, users grow an average of 86 points just by paying on time. Kickoff also offers rent reporting, so the rent you're already paying can help you build credit too. Start building credit with Kickoff today and get your first month for as little as $1. That is 80% off the normal price when you go to getkikoff.com/khaleb today. That is kickoff without the C. Get customers first month only, subject to approval, offer subject to change. Average first year credit score impacted plus 86 points between August 2024 and August 2025 for kickoff credit account users who started with a score below 600, who paid on time and who had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during that period. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Individual results may vary.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  If you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered Meta and others to pay millions for their role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression and body image issues, but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict underscores the consequences of those decisions. Now Morgan and Morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they cause. Click the link in my bio to take a short quiz. You may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  Just, just go and do it.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  I mean, if I'm gonna get accused anyway.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  You know, just totally.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, how is what you're doing productive? If the guy literally did get better, why beat them up over it? He actually, I don't think he should do it, but he actually may as well, because you're treating him the same. Him being fixed, you're treating him the same as someone who's actively doing it.

• 47:55Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, that's part of the reason why I thought therapy would be so, especially with the like the punching walls and, and you know, like we, it's really, really uncommon for if he walks away from an argument to come back and like resolve the issue. I have to say, well, can we talk about this? I'm, you know, I'm really upset.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Rose had every video game in the history of humanity downloaded.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  We didn't, you know.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  It's not resolved.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Okay, you can't tell me you've never had a TikTok when you have had TikTok installed on this phone.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  That's might have been when you were looking for it and installed it.

• 48:30Speaker 04

  Well, because I did.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  She was looking for an account.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  When I first found out about everything.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  You installed it?

• 48:35Speaker 04

  I'm pretty sure I did. At least the TikTok. Because I saw it in the Google Play history. Like it said, no, but it said you installed it before that. And that's why.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  What do you mean, Google Play history?

• 48:49Speaker 04

  Like it'll show you.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  You've had a kick, K I K.

• 48:52Speaker 04

  What's kick?

• 48:52Speaker 02

  That chatting.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  What is kick?

• 48:54Speaker 03

  That might have been years ago.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  He's also had Tinder and Bumble, but again, that may have also been years ago.

• 49:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Cause it doesn't really get, like, that's just some stuff that's all been, it could have been the last 10 years.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  It was installed in 2022, I think, is what I had seen. So, I mean, it just, there, there's been a lot that's happened in the last year. You know, a lot of it I wasn't aware of. And so with me not having like any knowledge of the finances and everything that, and then the, the.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  Coming back to, see.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, because it just, it's the whole trust thing though.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  I guess, but you're the one projecting no trust. And I know it's from something he did in the past, but it's from that. Like, listen, he doesn't have any of the apps installed. He's never had WhatsApp installed. That's never been installed once. So your story is immediately collapsing. You're crazy. Here's, shut the fuck up.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  I have screenshots that show.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Show me.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Show me.

• 49:52Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm pulling it up.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  Here's the thing, you can go to takeout.google.com, do, deselect all, select only Google Play Store and export.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, and that's what I did.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  So you saw the timestamps?

• 50:04Speaker 04

  Yes. And then I went to accountability and it didn't show anything that he was on.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  It didn't show anything. It didn't show, leave her. Do not marry this woman. She's a crazy bitch dude. You've done a lot of bad. You're not good and you should inform her more of what is happening in the finances. Even though you're not required to share anything with her, like account access and stuff, especially pre-marriage. She's batshit crazy. If she's still punishing you from something at the earliest six months ago that you haven't improved on dramatically, she will punish you six years from now.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  She's, she looks like a bird.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  This is why I'm kind of pushing for that prenup. In case she continues to punish me.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  Leave her. Trust me. Trust me. She's an awesome.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  Hey Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi. Sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 51:18Speaker 02

  And one, a Kentucky three, you can find many.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Wow, that's something.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  It's reality.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  You have.

• 51:26Speaker 04

  You're reality. I mean, geez.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  You have sounded like nothing more than self-victimizing crazy this entire episode.

• 51:35Speaker 04

  How? Honestly?

• 51:37Speaker 02

  How?

• 51:38Speaker 04

  Yes, how?

• 51:39Speaker 02

  I wanted to be on your side. The thing that you were saying, if all true, I would have been on your side. But they're not. Your screenshot better show some damning proof.

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Oh my gosh, I'm trying to find it. Okay.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  I mean, at this point, should we even get married?

• 51:53Speaker 02

  I would say no.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  I would say no.

• 52:00Speaker 03

  Might be worth the loss of funds.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  Loss of funds.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Of everything I've already paid for.

• 52:05Speaker 02

  Ah, who gives a shit? This is for decades of misery that she's about to cause you.

• 52:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, because it's all been misery. That's all, that's all the relationship has been.

• 52:14Speaker 02

  This man who did fix the thing. Listen, if he was doing this shit now, I would be on your side that he needs to fix it. He fixed it. Why are we literally destroying him for something he has already done, which you've requested, except for therapy? But honestly, it sounds like he's fixed it without therapy. So like at that point, it's just performative.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  Well, it's not just about the, the stuff. It's also about the anger and.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  The anger thing I'm on your side with, but why would you want to marry someone with anger issues?

• 52:39Speaker 04

  Cause it's not, it's not like it's all the time. It's not, I mean, but.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  So you don't, so it's not a problem?

• 52:44Speaker 04

  It's more so lately, it's been worse. And I don't know if it's because of the stress of the wedding and the finances.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Let's see these screenshots.

• 52:56Speaker 04

  I'm looking for them.

• 52:58Speaker 03

  Do you really have them?

• 52:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Really?

• 53:00Speaker 04

  I mean...

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Cause I...

• 53:02Speaker 04

  I did...

• 53:02Speaker 03

  I haven't done anything nefarious.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 53:06Speaker 04

  I think I deleted them, cause I didn't want you to see them.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Then go to your deleted photo.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  Well, that's what I'm about to do.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  And like I said, I give you full disclosure to my phone.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  Now, why would you want me to see the proof that backs up your story?

• 53:17Speaker 04

  I didn't want him to see it, because...

• 53:20Speaker 02

  Does he go through your phone?

• 53:22Speaker 03

  I do not.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  She's a crazy bitch, and she looks like a transitioned Mitch McConnell. There is no reason for you... Who applied?

• 53:32Speaker 04

  I did.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  That was a mistake.

• 53:35Speaker 04

  It was, okay.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  So, where are they at?

• 53:39Speaker 04

  I... Oh my gosh.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  We're waiting.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  And I'm looking. I have more trash in here than I realized.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  And here's the thing, also, it's like, nearly every time that someone is being accused of something, the producer tends to find at least something that would suggest that the accusation is correct. Through the deep dive and everything, there's nothing on this guy.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Through the deep dive?

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Yes, she does separate interviews with him, and we always find a hint. There was nothing, except for the anger thing, but again, if you don't even care about it enough to call off the marriage, then why do I care?

• 54:13Speaker 04

  So, when all this came up, I was talking to... Was it... And she said, "Don't bring it up to him, bring it up at the show."

• 54:21Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  So, that is part of the reason.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  Oh, but trust me, the producer's deep dived.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  I mean, and I sent her the screenshots. I sent her the screenshots, too.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Devin? Sent you the screenshots? She never got screenshots? You're a liar.

• 54:36Speaker 04

  I sent it to Devin, it was Jen.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Ah, our story producer.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Oh, let's see, let's see if they're there.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  Girl, I'm gonna give you every chance. I'm gonna give you every [__] chance.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Okay, I appreciate that.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  So, we're gonna give her a response to respond, and I'm gonna go pee.

• 54:51Speaker 04

  I had to clean a bunch of storage on my phone, so I deleted a bunch of stuff. Like, a lot of it was when I was in barber school, so it was wasting a bunch of storage space.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Oh, shut the [__] up, you excuse-making whore. You're not a whore, I'm sorry.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  That's one thing I'm not.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  Every other insult I said was true.

• 55:12Speaker 04

  In your opinion.

• 55:22Speaker 04

  Is there anything on your work phone?

• 55:25Speaker 03

  No.

• 55:26Speaker 04

  And then, as far as like the prenup, why is that still so important, this close to the wedding?

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Like I said, you come in with, what, a bankruptcy? You've previously left a marriage?

• 55:39Speaker 04

  Okay, he was a serial cheater.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  But he also didn't have anything.

• 55:44Speaker 04

  I didn't go after his retirement.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  Does he have one?

• 55:48Speaker 04

  Yes, he does have a retirement. But I just was ready to get out of that relationship.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  Your trauma is not my problem.

• 55:57Speaker 04

  I know it's not your problem, that's why I'm in therapy.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  I mean, as far as I can tell, I mean, I've stepped up.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then you throw things at me like, "Why don't you be the breadwinner?" The minute I start to get upset and frustrated, you slap me in the face with, "You're not working." Even when I've offered to work, you have said, "I'd rather get a second job than you go to work."

• 56:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, because that would be better for the children. You being home helps them a lot, they have excelled with this arrangement.

• 56:33Speaker 04

  So, then why say stuff like that? If you're just sitting here saying that the overall household is doing better...

• 56:39Speaker 03

  I have never said, "Don't go get a job." Never once.

• 56:44Speaker 04

  But, okay, so you haven't said don't... You have, you said, "I would rather get a second job than you go back to work."

• 56:52Speaker 03

  But if you wanna get a job, go get one.

• 56:55Speaker 04

  But if the whole conversations we've had is that things are... I like how things are run at the house, I like that you being able to say... Then why, when you get upset, throw it in my face that I'm not working?

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Because you complained that I don't do enough.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  I just wanted you to reach out, say... I asked you to one thing that you didn't have to get off the couch to do. No, you didn't, you texted him! You did not talk to him, you didn't have a conversation!

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Isn't that... Reaching out? And then he texted me back 15 minutes later.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  After we had a fight about it?

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  Instead of you just calling him. Oh my... It'd been 30 minutes, and I told you I hadn't talked to his sister, to your sister.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  And then I sent a text, got reply, but you weren't patient enough for that to happen. Why does it always have to be your way?

• 57:48Speaker 04

  I'm not saying it has to be my way, we both agreed that there was plenty of stuff that needed to get done, and we're trying to get it done before the kids got home, so we could spend time together with them. And then, when it came time to do it, you're like, "I need to go relax," and an hour later, you're getting pissed because...

• 58:04Speaker 03

  No, I'm getting pissed, cause you come in there just angry. You just sound like, "Hey, can you help me do this?" Your tone, you come in here just all hyperventilating and all up in arms. And of course, yes, that's gonna get a reaction out of me, because I told you, like, I needed a time to relax. It's not saying I'm not gonna do it, cause what did I do? I went up there, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the floors.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  They were getting home at 4 o'clock, and it was 2:30.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. The stuff we needed to get done, got done in less than an hour and a half.

• 58:39Speaker 04

  I had to, I still had to run to the store to get them stuff for breakfast, and for them to be watched, so they had food there that they'll eat, and, you know, and I had to cut yours and [__] and [__] hair, I mean...

• 58:51Speaker 03

  You're also a stay-at-home mom. That's, that's, that's the, our partnership. I make sure all the bills get paid.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  I haven't been able to be home as much, because I've been doing a bunch of stuff for the wedding, and I had the bachelorette party, and like, you knew all this was going on.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  And that bachelorette party is a need.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  You went on a bachelor party, I mean, like, and I, mine was planned much further in advance than yours, and I changed it, so it wasn't gonna be as expensive as it was originally gonna be. I mean, outside of, I mean, I did get the shirts and the leggings, and that was expensive.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  That was not, you didn't need whole outfits for that. We don't need outfits for after the wedding. It's stuff we don't need.

• 59:36Speaker 04

  Well, I didn't, I didn't, I canceled the order for the wedding party stuff, and originally, I was gonna be paying for that, and then my alterations for my dress were a lot more than expected.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  What did I walk into? What is wrong with you guys? I was, I was taking a pee.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  Well, argument.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  It's just, there's been a lot of unresolved arguments.

• 1:00:04Speaker 02

  Okay, I did get a screenshot, it says, "visited WhatsApp Messenger", but I do think it is that game thing, cause the reality is, he never downloaded it. Like, here it is.

• 1:00:13Speaker 04

  Okay, so, but I wasn't lying, like, I did see something.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  I guess.

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  I did see something, and that was part of like...

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  But you say he has a hidden WhatsApp account and hidden TikTok?

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  Well, I said, I didn't, I didn't know, because a lot of his...

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  You, you accused Devin, to be clear, that you think he has a hidden TikTok account and WhatsApp.

• 1:00:33Speaker 04

  Because I didn't know he had a Twitter before all that stuff about Reddit and stuff came out.

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  Hey, it doesn't, most people have a Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, that's not what's crazy. I know he had bad stuff on there, but that's not inherently crazy. WhatsApp is one of the most down, I don't, I don't think I have it, but it's like, one of the most common apps in the world, it wouldn't have like, blown my mind.

• 1:00:55Speaker 04

  Well, it was just because there, there were the lapses in the accountability at the same time that that was showing up. It didn't even show that he was on the coin game.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  Why would that happen?

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  Only thing I can see, cause I wasn't using my phone.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  How many times have you watched [__] last month?

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  None.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:15Speaker 02

  Why?

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  Cause I made an agreement.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  How many times have you masturbated?

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  None.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  It would've been okay if you did. I care about it being under control and not addictive.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I haven't.

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  You believe it?

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  We did make that agreement.

• 1:01:30Speaker 02

  Then what are you doing here?

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  What do you mean, what am I doing here?

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Why are you just sitting here, just like, "Ah, ah, how dare you, ah, ah!" He's not doing anything! You don't think he's doing anything?

• 1:01:42Speaker 04

  No, because in the past, he had said he wasn't, and then I found out he was, and he was lying to me, so...

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  In the past, okay, so here's, here's...

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  That's why I was questioning it, though, is my whole point. That's why I had questions, because of what happened in the past. Because I wasn't sure if it was a relapse or something like that, and he didn't want me to find out about it.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  So, here's what she's saying. Because you lied about it in the past, she will forever think that you're lying about it now, because she will never be able to move me out of it. Because you have given no indication that you are breaking that trust now, yet she is bringing it up. What would stop her a year from now, two years, 10 years, 20 years?

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  I mean...

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  Deathbed.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  Trust is an easy thing to lose and a hard thing to gain.

• 1:02:35Speaker 02

  It is, but guess what, this is what you're committing to.

• 1:02:38Speaker 04

  Well, and we've talked about, after we're married, to do couples counseling and stuff to help work through some of this stuff.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Do you forgive him?

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  That's a loaded question.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  Do you forgive him?

• 1:02:51Speaker 04

  For the past mistakes, if he was doing something now, I don't know that I...

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  Do you forgive him for the past mistakes?

• 1:02:57Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  To [__] act like it? You're projecting on him like he's doing something now!

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  It was...

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  I have my own faults. I'll admit to that. And.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  It's just like.

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  I'm pissed you're accusing me all the time.

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  Am I really accusing you all the time, though?

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Quite often, actually.

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  Outside of this WhatsApp stuff?

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  When was the last time that I've accused you of anything?

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  Two weeks ago.

• 1:03:35Speaker 04

  What do you mean, two weeks ago?

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Two or three weeks ago. I'm not, the time is kind of fuzzy, but, uh, you just asked, you was, hey, can I see your phone?

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  You know, the thing is, that's interesting.

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  There's multiple people in this room when we're making this show, and one of them, I don't know which one, but they're saying, uh, they think, you know, I'm trying not to read into it too much, but to me, it's like she wants him to be doing something bad because either you're doing something or.

• 1:04:00Speaker 00

  Hey, Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  You just want to get out of the marriage?

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  I mean, if that's the case, then just tell me.

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  You're like, really trying to, it's almost like, you know how like, in those cases that are happening with like Me Too 2.0 and stuff like that, and people are like cheering for to have happened, or cheering for to not have happened? You're like cheering that he like did something bad. Like, you can like question like, what if? And then if you find out he didn't, accept it. Don't cheer for the bad thing to have happened. That's really weird.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  That, that is probably something I need to work through because there's been plenty of time.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Marry this creature.

• 1:05:01Speaker 04

  There's been plenty of time.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Put her back in the wheelchair, wheel her into the Senate, and she'll be there, unproductive as always.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  Again, your past stuff's not, not.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  But the stuff that's happened in our relationship too is the other thing.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  But it's done, and you said you forgave him. He's worked on it. He's done what you've asked and required. Oh, don't enable that. Don't touch that.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Whose finances am I even looking at?

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  Mine.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  Both of ours.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  Okay, and we might be combining them. I wouldn't recommend you guys, oh, getting married. How much are you gonna lose in the wedding when you inevitably back out because you're gonna become sane in the next week?

• 1:05:40Speaker 03

  Probably about 20, 15, 20?

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Worth 15, 20 years of misery.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  That's about $1,000 a year.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  What are each other's financial scores, independently right now? Zero being the worst, 10 being the best. What do you think you guys are independently today?

• 1:05:57Speaker 04

  I'm probably a one.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  I don't know what the factors are, but three?

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Zero being the worst, 10 being the best, just in general, okay? If you want to figure out where your Hammer financial score is in detail in each category, all you have to do is take a free assessment. Just takes a few minutes to figure out where you stand, where you're failing, where you're doing great at CalebHammer.com. And if you don't want to be like a guest that ends up on the show, I mean, they downloaded Dolewise, now they get it for free forever. But you can get a free trial to see if you like it, and if you do, sign up for the annual version to save you nearly 15% or 50% on your money. So check it out, Dolewise.com. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. And as we get into these finances, the reality is, like, I don't think you should marry her, but like, her best friends are begging her not to marry you. They have this huge thing against you, and we're calling one of them in the post-show. And they're literally, they have committed to trying to get her to literally not marry you today. But before that,

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  debt, her parents, who, I assume only you owe your parents, right? Because you guys have been pretty separate. So what do you owe to your parents? $13,000?

• 1:06:58Speaker 04

  When I was pregnant with my youngest, uh, my ex, he, he to, he got hit by a drunk driver and his car got totaled, and then he was driving my car to work and hit a deer, and it got totaled.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  Okay, this is 14 years ago, though.

• 1:07:14Speaker 04

  It was, no, it's not 14 years ago. My youngest, my youngest.

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  Still six years ago, it's pretty.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, so so my mom had recently got a settlement because she got injured at work and offered to buy us a car that could fit all the kids because we didn't have the money.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Why do you still owe on it six years later? I get it. You got, your mom bought you a car, okay, I got that. Didn't need the whole thing, but why do you still owe?

• 1:07:38Speaker 04

  My ex didn't pay anything towards it when we were together.

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  Why haven't you?

• 1:07:42Speaker 04

  I have. It was originally like $28,000.

• 1:07:45Speaker 02

  Do you have a minimum monthly payment you pay to her?

• 1:07:47Speaker 04

  So as of right now, they told me not to worry about it because he's doing work on their car. Well, and it was, I was waiting on the child support and they knew with the wedding finances and stuff that they didn't want me to stress about paying them because they said they were doing fine currently.

• 1:08:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:08:03Speaker 04

  So.

• 1:08:04Speaker 03

  Their car, their, their current car had a rod knock. So basically, bad motors.

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, they had an extended warranty and they said that they weren't gonna honor it, so.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  I understand.

• 1:08:16Speaker 04

  They said they were.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  Why do you owe your sister $450?

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  Because she helped me get into my first apartment after the divorce and I, well.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  That was over four years ago. You can't pay $450 in four years?

• 1:08:28Speaker 04

  It was like a thousand.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  You've paid 500 in four or five years? Four or five? What has been, when was your divorce?

• 1:08:37Speaker 04

  It was the end of 2022, and I was going to school full-time and working full-time.

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  Oh, you were working full-time, very good, so.

• 1:08:46Speaker 04

  Well, because I left the, I left my previous marriage with pretty much nothing. And I was having to basically start from scratch, furniture and.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  Welcome to you getting divorced. I don't know, you chose it.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  Okay, I understand that. I'm just saying, like, there were a lot of, and I've had quite a few health issues where there.

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  I can see. Try not being morbidly obese. You've paid an average of $9 a month to her for four years. $9 a month, that's the best you could do?

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  I mean, sure, there were probably times I could have given her more, but she told me to give it to my parents, so I was paying them more.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  Okay, I don't know. It's just like, I, I do kind of have it out against you right now. It's just because I hate people that make themselves out to be a victim and then accuse people of stuff they're not doing right now. Trust me, I'll get on the accusation train. If we have stuff to beat them up with, I'll shit down his throat. My favorite thing to do.

• 1:09:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  That's my kink.

• 1:09:48Speaker 04

  Okay. I just, well, and then as far as my sister, she told me this past Saturday that she would waive what I owe her.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  Wow. Look at you, a great sister, couldn't even do 450.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  So me could start fresh.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what's gonna do it.

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  It's okay, we'll bleep your real name. 689 O'Dos, Lowe's.

• 1:10:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a, had to buy a water softener.

• 1:10:17Speaker 02

  Oh, it's you?

• 1:10:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, I mean, well, I guess we did.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  Who's credit? Whose credit is that on? It's yours, okay. So, water softener, gotcha. What's the minimum payment for this?

• 1:10:28Speaker 03

  53 bucks.

• 1:10:29Speaker 04

  Because like, we've had times where they had us on a boil alert.

• 1:10:35Speaker 04

  Because there was like a pipe burst or something, I mean.

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  You can bleep that, too.

• 1:10:39Speaker 04

  Oh. My bad.

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  You're getting bad at this.

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  What are you doing?

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Uh, I was pulling up the interest rate.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  Uh, that's fine. Okay, Capital One Quicksilver. Whose is this?

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  Me.

• 1:10:48Speaker 02

  Ah, there it is.

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  One that I.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  No, this one says.

• 1:10:51Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  What the did you do, dude? What is wrong with you? Okay, he doesn't pay it off every month. Is this the one you give her?

• 1:10:59Speaker 03

  Which would, what's the balance?

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  Quicksilver. Dude, is that $13,478.48?

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  That's mine.

• 1:11:06Speaker 02

  You make so much money. What the are you doing? What is wrong with you? Hold on. Okay, uh, yeah, maybe you shouldn't marry this. Neither of you should marry each other for a multitude of reasons. This is an insane, listen, shut the, he spends, shut up. He spends $2,469. Shut up on this while he's doing it. Okay, go ahead.

• 1:11:24Speaker 04

  Wait. Okay.

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  I don't

• 1:11:30Speaker 04

  how, what are, what all is being put on that car? As far as like bills?

• 1:11:36Speaker 04

  Or any bills being put on that car? What bills?

• 1:11:40Speaker 03

  Uh, electric, water.

• 1:11:42Speaker 04

  I thought you paid the electric from, I thought that came out of your like bank account, not credit card.

• 1:11:52Speaker 03

  No. Because the only thing I use my bank account for is the mortgage. And then I transfer, uh, and I make payments on the credit card.

• 1:12:00Speaker 02

  No, there was not utilities on there.

• 1:12:01Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:12:02Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:12:03Speaker 04

  So like, that's you spending money on yourself in a month. And that, like, that's about what I spend for the whole household.

• 1:12:14Speaker 04

  How does that, how does that, how does that work? Cause I'm getting it for two dogs, two cats, two adults and three kids. And budgeting it for about 2,000, if not less. Like budgeting going in the grocery store, looking for coupons. Look, like trying to find cheaper meals.

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  No, I agree. And the dude's completely [__] up everything, buddy. This takes 29 years to pay off. You're [__] how much you smoked? That's not, you're not gonna be alive for that. It's $444 a month you owe towards this.

• 1:12:48Speaker 04

  And I don't even know what the monthly payments for those are.

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  I just said $444.

• 1:12:52Speaker 04

  Well, I know, but I meant like, he hasn't communicated at all what the minimum payments are on the credit cards.

• 1:12:59Speaker 02

  That's not good. You should be, oh, I'm not, like I said at the beginning, you are not entitled. Or she's not entitled to have access to your accounts and all this stuff, pre-marriage, all this stuff. I don't really care. You should communicate what your financial situation is. So she can make, she, why, why would you not communicate any of this to her? That is disgusting behavior going into a marriage, guy.

• 1:13:22Speaker 03

  Well, most of it is, honestly, it's like, nothing's ever been a late payment. Everything's always been paid on time.

• 1:13:30Speaker 04

  Well, and when I've brought up, when I've brought it up in the past, he's like, it's my money, so I'll spend it on what I want.

• 1:13:38Speaker 03

  Say that again?

• 1:13:38Speaker 04

  You've said that before. It's my money, so I can spend it on what I want.

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  But here's the thing, and this is what [__] with me. I hear that, I leave. You heard that? You're getting married with him next week.

• 1:13:47Speaker 04

  I did, I didn't.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  So like, what the [__]?

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  I didn't know where it was at.

• 1:13:51Speaker 02

  Doesn't matter. No, no, no, no, no. Him saying it's my money, I'll spend it on whatever I want. When you've asked what his financial situation is, he said that, and then you marry. So like, what can I do?

• 1:14:01Speaker 04

  He told me he made cutbacks, that he wasn't spending as much anymore.

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  What would cutbacks even mean without context of knowing what it is?

• 1:14:08Speaker 04

  Not buying three Red Bulls every day.

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  He can buy three Red Bulls if it ain't, if he's not like carrying high interest rate credit cards and he's contributing to retirement well. He can do that. Him doing that or cutting back or not doing that is all dependent on the context and you don't know the context. And when you ask for the context, he said.

• 1:14:25Speaker 04

  I applied on the show though.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  No, you're getting married next week and he said, it's my money, I'll spend it on whatever I want.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

  And I have made cutbacks.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  Fuck, this is cutbacks? Go [__] yourself, you little cunt. What are you talking about, you dumb fuck?

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  What were you spending before? If this is cut back, what were you spending on yourself before?

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  Like, I mean, I switched to rolling my own cigarettes as, as opposed to spending, actually buying them.

• 1:14:48Speaker 04

  I mean.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  Which is a fraction of what that cost is.

• 1:14:50Speaker 04

  You've also talked about stopping smoking in the past.

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  That would be a good little thing to do.

• 1:14:55Speaker 04

  And like, and I've told you, I'd be okay with you.

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  How many, how many little, uh, ciggies you doing on a daily basis there?

• 1:15:01Speaker 03

  Uh, about a pack a day, which is about 20.

• 1:15:03Speaker 02

  You are gonna die.

• 1:15:04Speaker 04

  He's been like a pack and a half a day before too. I mean, we've had a very serious conversation about this. Like, I don't want to only have 10 years with him because he's smoked for the past 30 years. I mean, like, and.

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  Possible.

• 1:15:19Speaker 04

  It's, and like, I know, like, his dad is a big advocate for him quitting.

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  Well, who would it be? First of all, it smells like, should I take, you know why I went to the bathroom to wash my phone? Cause my hands smelled like fucking nasty cigs.

• 1:15:32Speaker 04

  I mean, and like, if I've also told him, if we did decide to have a kid, I would want him to be quit smoking before then.

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

  You don't do a kid. Guys, you're not even close to being able to have a kid together.

• 1:15:41Speaker 04

  But I'm just saying.

• 1:15:42Speaker 02

  This is maxed out.

• 1:15:44Speaker 04

  That card's maxed out?

• 1:15:48Speaker 02

  Oopsie. It is pocket sort. So you are video game spending.

• 1:15:54Speaker 04

  You spent money.

• 1:15:55Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. $7.41. So gaming, so phone gaming. He stopped in and got some Red Bulls, Venomachine, Venomachine, Red Bulls, Red Bulls, Red Bulls. Pandora music out of all the things.

• 1:16:12Speaker 04

  Like you've been saying that we're, we're in this position because of the money spent on the wedding. But you're spending this amount of money on eating at work, cigarettes and Red Bull games. But it's my, it's my fault that we're in this financial position because of the wedding, not because.

• 1:16:33Speaker 02

  I'll see your spending.

• 1:16:34Speaker 04

  You've been.

• 1:16:36Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 1:16:37Speaker 04

  Not making, you haven't been budgeting at all.

• 1:16:41Speaker 03

  I mean, you wanted the wedding this year.

• 1:16:42Speaker 04

  Well, but you.

• 1:16:43Speaker 03

  I was, I wanted to push the wedding at least back a year.

• 1:16:46Speaker 02

  I'd push it back permanently.

• 1:16:48Speaker 03

  Cause I'm trying, I was trying to get this caught up.

• 1:16:50Speaker 04

  Well, I didn't know.

• 1:16:53Speaker 00

  Hey, Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 1:17:18Speaker 04

  Where we were at financially.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  We had a big old fight about this year and you were just adamant, cause we got this venue to.

• 1:17:25Speaker 04

  Well, okay, so we, I got my tax return and he said if I could pay for the first deposit on the venue, then we could.

• 1:17:33Speaker 03

  Went to the courthouse and been, and then.

• 1:17:36Speaker 04

  Well, and we also talked about having the wedding on the property and we were price checking stuff. And you said, I don't want to do any manual labor on my wedding day. So I'd rather pay more money and not have to do that.

• 1:17:47Speaker 03

  And this is your second wedding.

• 1:17:49Speaker 04

  I didn't have a wedding with the first marriage and you know that.

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  Don't punish her for that. How was on your side and tell that?

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  I didn't even have a wedding dress for my first marriage. We went to the courthouse. It wasn't a special day or anything. It was because he was gonna be joining the army and that would, took three years. So, you know, that was dumb on my part, but it is what it is. It happened. And then, so like, that is part of the reason why I didn't want a wedding with him. Because this is supposed to be it. It's just supposed to be me and him for the rest of our lives and.

• 1:18:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, it shouldn't be. Um, billiards, he spent $106 there. Red Bulls, Red Bulls, Chick-fil-A, Red Bulls, Red Bulls, Red Bulls.

• 1:18:33Speaker 04

  We just talked about Red Bull and you said, I'm not getting Red Bull every day anymore.

• 1:18:40Speaker 04

  We just had that conversation. It's not every, it's often enough. I mean, I've told, I've told you that I could get the energy shaker mixer things that, that you could just take to work. I mean, and then you don't have to go get the Red Bull and stuff.

• 1:18:55Speaker 02

  It's 40 cents a serving. It's incredible. Get liquid assets now. That's our flavor.

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  It's actually pretty good.

• 1:19:00Speaker 02

  It is very good, I would say. 40 cents a serving. My discount code, stop sniffing. There's no burgers in here.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  Break down, honestly. I'm.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  $6,032.95 with a $194 minimum payment on your second Quicksilver card.

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  That's the one she used, that I gave to her.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:22Speaker 02

  And it's the same amount of bullshit on the second thing, including like, I think, I think he got his wedding suit there. This is, it's all restaurants and it's all bullshit and a little amount of money spent on bullshit on his credit cards alone. I thought he was, I thought he was doing a prenup because he was financially well. No, he's not. He's [__] financially [__].

• 1:19:39Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't know.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  I do.

• 1:19:43Speaker 04

  I mean, but the other thing is, like, I can't go back and look at any of this stuff because I don't have access to it.

• 1:19:48Speaker 02

  We're doing it now.

• 1:19:49Speaker 04

  I'm.

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  $1,503.93. If you can't look at it, don't tell me what it is. I'm telling you what it is.

• 1:19:57Speaker 04

  I'm not saying you're not telling me. I'm just saying.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  $192.71 a month with $1,503.

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  Stand when you can't look at it.

• 1:20:03Speaker 02

  I'm telling you right now. If you would shut the [__] up. What is wrong with you? He spent more than he put towards it. No interest is occurring, must be an interest free period. It is until early next year. It's only a few months away.

• 1:20:16Speaker 04

  Which card?

• 1:20:18Speaker 02

  Cause you were talking. Will the Beast? Amazon.

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. He's told me that he does the, he selects the interest-free payments on that.

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:20:30Speaker 04

  I have a card that's on.

• 1:20:31Speaker 02

  That's why I said they were interest-free until early next year. You [__] yapping hyena.

• 1:20:37Speaker 04

  I have a card that is interest-free until April. So that's why I misheard what you said and I wasn't sure. Well, I didn't hear that part.

• 1:20:45Speaker 02

  Cause you were talking.

• 1:20:48Speaker 03

  She does that.

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  Believe it or not, he got Amazon, interest-free on there.

• 1:20:54Speaker 02

  Okay, you.

• 1:20:56Speaker 04

  The Cerulean?

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  Cerulean, yeah, okay.

• 1:20:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  I couldn't figure out how to say it. Yep.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:02Speaker 02

  That, yep. Sure. You put in a payment towards it. You got fees, you got purchases. This is your card. So it's not like you don't have a credit card to spend on, but $857.42 of the $45 minimum payment. Credit protection charge, monthly maintenance fee. It's bullshit. It's fees and interest and shitty.

• 1:21:19Speaker 04

  Well, cause that, I'm trying, the plan is to pay down.

• 1:21:22Speaker 02

  Ah, it's a 36% interest.

• 1:21:24Speaker 04

  Yes. So, so once I have enough available balance on my other card that's interest-free, I'm gonna transfer that balance.

• 1:21:30Speaker 02

  Oh, great. That's not gonna work. You don't fix your behavior.

• 1:21:33Speaker 04

  I'm gonna cancel that card because just the fees and everything alone, it's just not worth having.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's over the limit on these, by the way. That's who you're marrying. And listen, maybe that's a valid excuse, but here's the thing, on the Olo card, she's also over the limit. So it just happens across the board. Yep. You owe $2,519 when the limit's $2,500.

• 1:21:52Speaker 03

  I gave, I give you the money to pay for them.

• 1:21:54Speaker 04

  No, okay, that one.

• 1:21:56Speaker 02

  She put $27 to it. Why was there a fee charge? I'll tell you. Would you like to know? Do you want to read what that is down here?

• 1:22:01Speaker 04

  No, he knew.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  It's down there.

• 1:22:03Speaker 04

  He knew there was one late fee because

• 1:22:08Speaker 04

  um, he didn't.

• 1:22:09Speaker 02

  It's a late fee.

• 1:22:10Speaker 04

  He didn't have the cash to cash at me so I could make the payment. So I was waiting for the child support payment to come.

• 1:22:16Speaker 02

  See the trend with her? She has every excuse in the world except for any accountability of her own.

• 1:22:20Speaker 04

  Well, because.

• 1:22:21Speaker 03

  Well, try to hold me accountable for everything.

• 1:22:22Speaker 04

  It seemed like the child support was a regular, it's gonna become a regular base.

• 1:22:29Speaker 04

  Like a scheduled payment and then it came late, so.

• 1:22:31Speaker 02

  You have a house, $244,113.75 where this very happy marriage is gonna take place. Of a $2,178.39 minimum payment, 7% interest, not the best. But is what it is. I'd refinance only if you can get 2% off that.

• 1:22:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:48Speaker 02

  Of the balance that you owe 244,000 on, it's probably worth just about 259, so.

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  Nothing too crazy. You, interest-free for a moment, but not for much longer. You owe 23,269 on something. Service finance company. What is this?

• 1:23:12Speaker 04

  When the foundation?

• 1:23:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, basically foundation on the house.

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  Better have gotten [__] insurance from it now.

• 1:23:19Speaker 04

  Insurance.

• 1:23:20Speaker 02

  Like, it better be covered that after. What the people that fixed your foundation, if it happens again, they're fixing it.

• 1:23:25Speaker 03

  Yo, yeah, it is. Most definitely.

• 1:23:27Speaker 04

  When does that interest re-end?

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  I think April.

• 1:23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it goes through a decade, too, so it's about to be

• 1:23:35Speaker 02

  What's your normal minimum payment on this?

• 1:23:38Speaker 04

  Have you been paying on it?

• 1:23:39Speaker 03

  I have not.

• 1:23:42Speaker 02

  But it's always says total amount due zero, so you don't owe anything during the zero percent period? Well, shit. I mean, it's gonna be, I don't know what it is, but

• 1:23:50Speaker 03

  It's defer, it's gonna, it's deferred interest on that one.

• 1:23:52Speaker 04

  How much interest is gonna, how much deferred interest?

• 1:23:56Speaker 02

  Your deferred interest is gonna be insane.

• 1:23:58Speaker 04

  I thought it was just interest didn't start until

• 1:24:00Speaker 03

  Oh, one of them was, it's, it's, it doesn't start accruing interest until 2028.

• 1:24:06Speaker 04

  No, but he's saying it ends in April.

• 1:24:09Speaker 02

  So the amount of money you put in this house that you only have an equity position of like fifteen thousand hours, and you've spent like a hundred thousand dollars in this house. You got new windows, you also, so you owe nine thou-

• 1:24:18Speaker 04

  It was just one door and one window. It's not like we replaced all the windows in the house.

• 1:24:24Speaker 02

  I don't give a, bird woman that probably flew into it?

• 1:24:29Speaker 02

  Well, I had to replace it, right?

• 1:24:30Speaker 04

  Remove the deck.

• 1:24:32Speaker 02

  Okay, nine thousand six hundred seventy-nine dollars and twenty-six cents.

• 1:24:37Speaker 02

  Minimum zero again, is this in the same situation? No, it's accruing it. Twenty-four point nine nine percent interest, yes, creature. If you listen to what I say, you

• 1:24:47Speaker 04

  He hasn't told me.

• 1:24:49Speaker 02

  I'm telling you right now!

• 1:24:52Speaker 04

  And I was asking him!

• 1:24:54Speaker 02

  I'm answering, you actual creature. What is the minimum monthly payment on this?

• 1:25:00Speaker 03

  I think it was, to get it off, paid off in the promotional period, it was like three hundred dollars a month.

• 1:25:06Speaker 02

  Three hundred?

• 1:25:07Speaker 03

  Something like that.

• 1:25:10Speaker 04

  So we got rid of the storage unit. That covers most of that payment.

• 1:25:14Speaker 02

  Is that where you keep her?

• 1:25:17Speaker 04

  That's, he's paying for it basically for his sister and her family.

• 1:25:25Speaker 04

  And you just got that key, what, last week?

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  Thousand seven hundred forty-seven dollars and thirty-six cents. Oh, no, new balance is sixteen thousand on more windows or something, ah.

• 1:25:37Speaker 04

  Is that the other?

• 1:25:38Speaker 03

  No, that's where the, uh, the floor.

• 1:25:42Speaker 02

  Oh, good, you guys are crazy. What's the minimum on this? Cause again, it doesn't say.

• 1:25:48Speaker 03

  I don't remember.

• 1:25:49Speaker 02

  Oh, good. What is it?

• 1:25:54Speaker 04

  That expires, the promotion expires next year.

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  That wasn't my question. Which?

• 1:26:03Speaker 02

  Great, she can't tell me. Wonderful. That's helpful for budgeting. No shit, you can't budget.

• 1:26:09Speaker 04

  Payment due date, October of

• 1:26:13Speaker 02

  Okay, you have student loans through federal student loan, seventeen thousand five hundred thirty dollars and twenty-nine cents. What's your minimum to payment?

• 1:26:21Speaker 04

  In my student loan, uh, so I'm on a repayment plan right now, so it's ten dollars a month.

• 1:26:27Speaker 02

  Okay, and what about for Ed Financial?

• 1:26:30Speaker 04

  It's, it's all of them. It's ten dollars a month for all of them.

• 1:26:35Speaker 02

  Now, and Ed Financial, so seventeen thousand five hundred thirty dollars with now on that, and Ed Financial, eight thousand six hundred sixty-eight.

• 1:26:43Speaker 04

  Cause

• 1:26:43Speaker 02

  Ten bucks a month.

• 1:26:44Speaker 04

  The repayment plan that I picked, it said that when I make the payments, they'll take away the deferred, like the interest, so.

• 1:26:54Speaker 02

  Any other fun facts you wanna give me?

• 1:26:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:27:02Speaker 02

  Car. You have a vehicle of some kind, what is it?

• 1:27:05Speaker 03

  I have three.

• 1:27:06Speaker 02

  Okay, wow, you

• 1:27:10Speaker 04

  Well, all of them are paid off.

• 1:27:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're all paid off.

• 1:27:12Speaker 02

  Oh, I see, oh, okay, this is a checking account, right, I see now. Transferring things back and forth, ATM withdrawals, he's going to the strip club.

• 1:27:22Speaker 04

  Well, that's probably new to you.

• 1:27:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:25Speaker 02

  A lot of after paying Amazon air checking account, and wine, wine, wine, wine. Yeah, I can tell that brain is

• 1:27:33Speaker 02

  A little alcoholism over here?

• 1:27:35Speaker 04

  I do cook with wine, too. I mean

• 1:27:39Speaker 02

  No accountability from this woman at all. She is like, she's insane. Guys, you need to get the fuck away from her.

• 1:27:47Speaker 04

  I mean, he drinks just as much as I do.

• 1:27:50Speaker 03

  That's true. I do drink.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  What is wrong with you, dude? You guys suck. Let me see if we can even budget you guys as a couple, and you can't even tell me the minimum to payment for the Nine thousand six hundred seventy-nine dollar debt. If I'm equating it to like the twenty-three thousand, I'm gonna say it's about a hundred seventy-five dollar.

• 1:28:10Speaker 04

  You don't know what that

• 1:28:11Speaker 02

  You guys suck, man. I don't know how you guys have made it this far in life.

• 1:28:19Speaker 03

  I was doing pretty good till about three, four years ago.

• 1:28:22Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, you said when, when we moved, and the mortgage doubled was the biggest impact.

• 1:28:30Speaker 02

  Um, why'd you spend two thousand dollars minimum last month, most likely three thousand on bullshit? Yeah, it's not the mortgage, it's your behavior. You have no self-control, you're a preacher. Your minimum to payments, including the mortgage, is three thousand seven hundred fifty dollars and one and ten cents.

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  What's your utilities costs, all combined, monthly basis?

• 1:28:52Speaker 03

  Average about three fifty. For, oh, if you want to include internet, about four fifty.

• 1:28:58Speaker 02

  Phone bill.

• 1:29:00Speaker 04

  That's a hundred.

• 1:29:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, ninety.

• 1:29:03Speaker 04

  What is it, ninety or a hundred? What do you give your dad?

• 1:29:05Speaker 02

  Vroom, vroom, drive, drive!

• 1:29:08Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm about probably two hundred a month.

• 1:29:12Speaker 04

  I'm about one fifty.

• 1:29:14Speaker 02

  Three fifty in car insurances.

• 1:29:15Speaker 03

  Uh, it's like two thirty?

• 1:29:18Speaker 04

  I have no idea. We're all on the same plane.

• 1:29:21Speaker 02

  Necessary food, you and the kids, you should be able to do about eight hundred bucks. Meal prep, meal plan, warming up food, not cooking with as much wine.

• 1:29:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:31Speaker 02

  Allegedly. TP fund, anything else to survive, that is three hundred dollars. Some months it's school supply, some months it's more tampons, some months it's blah, blah, blah. It changes what it is every month. Three hundred, maybe three fifty output for the family that size. Medical, healthcare, they're co-pays on a monthly basis. Co-pays. Co-pay.

• 1:29:48Speaker 03

  Twenty-five, thirty?

• 1:29:50Speaker 04

  Well, with your prescription and

• 1:29:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's about forty-five bucks a month.

• 1:29:53Speaker 02

  Forty-five bucks a month. Subscriptions, I'll try seventy, I'll try a hundred, cause there's so many people there. You have any pets?

• 1:30:00Speaker 04

  We have two, two cats.

• 1:30:02Speaker 02

  Two hundred dollars, pet insurance, cause you cannot afford to take care of them.

• 1:30:05Speaker 04

  But, okay, no, our vet, they do have a payment plan if anything major comes up.

• 1:30:12Speaker 02

  So you wanna get into a debt instead of insurance to prevent a debt?

• 1:30:16Speaker 03

  Where, where do you go to get pet insurance? I've never heard of that.

• 1:30:18Speaker 02

  You know, we'll send you a lot of things after the show.

• 1:30:21Speaker 04

  Cause I've heard of a lot of like really skeevy insurance things.

• 1:30:23Speaker 02

  Yes, there's not, exactly. We'll get you good ones. Two hundred dollars, how much for pet food, pet supply? That's like fifty dollars a pet, by the way.

• 1:30:30Speaker 04

  So, well, actually, one of those, we're, we're not gonna get insurance, she came with the house, she's a barn cat. I think she would run away.

• 1:30:37Speaker 02

  How much for pet supplies, pet food?

• 1:30:39Speaker 04

  They get heartworm medicine, that's about thirty a month. And then, um, dog food is probably one fifty and cat food is like

• 1:30:50Speaker 03

  That much for dog food?

• 1:30:52Speaker 04

  They eat a lot.

• 1:30:53Speaker 02

  So how much total, guys? I'm adding up the rest of it. I wasn't keeping track.

• 1:30:56Speaker 04

  Um, let's say two thirty for their medicine, their month, like their month, monthly heartworm medicine and all the food.

• 1:31:04Speaker 02

  Budget is six thousand five hundred forty-five dollars a month.

• 1:31:11Speaker 02

  Those are your fucking choices, you You're under by a thousand dollars, a thousand forty. You guys are, don't get married, I think that's what we all learned, I don't even care. I'm not giving you guys any advice. Like, what the, you guys are broken. You can't afford to survive, you need to get a job! Why are you at home?

• 1:31:29Speaker 04

  Well, I've talked to him about getting a job.

• 1:31:31Speaker 02

  And he says no? He's wrong. I don't care. Don't get married.

• 1:31:38Speaker 02

  Okay, I need to see what your friend has to say, clearly. Maybe this is egregious shit. Or her friend is about to learn that she actually just is enabling a crazy We'll figure that out in the post-show, their Hammer Financial scores, go fuck yourself. Get yours at CalebHammer.com, promise you won't get that one. Now, join Hammer Elite, the best membership on YouTube with over a hundred seventy-five thousand monthly active members for a reason. Because it is a twenty-minute extension of this show where we find out crazy things called the post-show, plus three premium shows every single day, just like this one. Six days a week. Check it out. Join on YouTube or join on the Hammer Elite app, wherever you wanna be, it's the same membership. See you there.

• 1:32:16Speaker 02

  You are suggesting that they shouldn't get married. Go in, I wanna hear why.

• 1:32:19Speaker 05

  You know, she was trying to express how she felt, he was kinda shutting, I feel like shutting her down on how she was feeling.

• 1:32:25Speaker 02

  So they're having a couples' argument?

• 1:32:26Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:32:27Speaker 02

  That's your ammo?

• 1:32:28Speaker 04

  No, that's not my

• 1:32:29Speaker 02

  You're a crazy bitch, I'm sorry, your friend, your friend is a psycho.

• 1:32:33Speaker 05

  I don't think she's psycho. I feel like she is working on herself.

• 1:32:41Speaker 02

  Welcome to Al Week. Al! Are you excited?

• 1:32:44Speaker 03

  Yes, I am.

• 1:32:45Speaker 02

  We have a special week only for Hammer Elite members. We have seven girls coming in for a pop the balloon challenge.

• 1:32:54Speaker 04

  I wanted to give Al a little present with my three Ds.

• 1:32:58Speaker 02

  Wow, be eating your last meal on this week's Fat and Fatter. We're also gonna be doing auto-breakdown and off-topic.

• 1:33:05Speaker 03

  Honestly, I feel like

• 1:33:09Speaker 02

  She wants to know if you would pee on her.

• 1:33:11Speaker 03

  I don't know about that one.

• 1:33:14Speaker 02

  Make sure you click that join button to join Hammer Elite, the number one membership on YouTube, or the link below, or download the Hammer Elite app, or go to HammerElite.com to save membership on all platforms. Join us for Al Week. I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality, or a story, or a life, or a relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to CalebHammer.com/apply or click that link in the description below.

• 1:34:11Speaker 02

  If you're building AI agents, you should check out Strands Agents. It's an open source SDK for Python and TypeScript. The idea is simple. Give a model some tools, let it decide what to call and when, and loop until it's done. No chain convicts, no graph orchestration, and works with any model provider. It's also open source and built and tested for production agents. Get started at strandsagents.com.