The Truth About Haters & How to Use Criticism for Success

Does the fear of judgment and criticism paralyze you? Whether you admit it or not, the FEAR of judgement is a shared human experience we ALL have... In today's episode, I confront one of the most pervasive fears on the path to success—the fear of judgement or aka... HATERS. I am going to help you dismantle the myths around this fear, differentiate between destructive hate and constructive criticism, and reveal how you can transform even the harshest feedback into fuel for your personal and professional growth. I'm breaking down the Five Stages of Progress and how each one interacts with criticism, from being invisible to becoming a target of envy. You'll learn to differentiate between someone who wants to pull you down and someone offering golden nuggets of truth that could propel you forward. Here’s what you'll learn: Understanding Critics and Haters: Recognizing the difference between those who aim to pull you down and those offering constructive criticism that could propel you forward. The Five Stages of Success: Learn each stage's unique challenges and opportunities, including how to gracefully transition from being unseen to being criticized, and eventually, to using all experiences as stepping stones. Embracing Criticism: How to accept feedback without letting it dent your self-esteem, and the importance of staying coachable and open to growth. Join me as we learn to not just block out the noise but to listen selectively and act decisively, turning potential distractions into powerful lessons. This isn't just about silencing the critics—it's about thriving amidst them. It’s time to shift your perspective on haters and critics and start seeing them as part of your journey to a successful, maxed-out life. #MAXOUT! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive. And the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

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• 1:30Ed Mylett?

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• 2:08Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. So I'm gonna get right into the topic this week, and it involves this idea of haters, and whether you really even have them, or they like this boogeyman so many people are making up in their lives as sort of artificial leverage to have success. And if you do have them, is it necessarily a bad thing? What's the difference between a hater, a critic, and feedback? And I want to talk about this because I think it's really important, probably the most overcooked. I think you'd agree with me. If you listen to any personal development, any motivational stuff, self-help, entrepreneurship content, this idea of prove your haters wrong, you know, is like everywhere. It's it's an easy topic for someone to make a meme about, a podcast about,

• 2:54Ed Mylett?

  you know, I see on social media all the time, "Thank you to my haters because you're the reason I..." And I get all that, but you know, I'm old enough that there were no haters when I was young. We didn't even have the term. But what I did have is some critics. What I did get is some feedback. And it wasn't until really the last decade or so that these people started to get categorized, you know, in this sort of, you know, place that's only to be inspired by or moved away from. And so what I'm gonna talk about today is the five stages of progress that I've been through in my life, the five stages of success. You know, I talk about this Chinese proverb I love that says, "If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back." And I've been down this road pretty far of progress and success, and I've lived, you know,

• 3:35Ed Mylett?

  over a half century. And so I want to share with you what I think the five stages of progress are, and they don't start with having haters. And so don't slough off, all feedback is hate, by the way. Maybe some of this is stuff that, you know, I needed to hear, and maybe you need to hear. In fact, if I go all the way back in my life, the truth is, many of the things my quote-unquote "haters" had to say, there was some validity to some of it, not all of it. Some of it is just pure jealousy and envy. But some of it was stuff I needed to hear, and in hindsight, they were right. There were things I could have been better at, and I could have improved on. And right now, it seems like all negative feedback is hate, and that that stunts progress in your life. That, "Oh, it's just a hater." No, maybe it's something you need to hear.

• 4:20Ed Mylett?

  Maybe they see something you don't see. At the same time, maybe none of that's true, and they're just very envious and jealous or insecure themselves, and they're projecting those insecurities on you. But I mean, how many memes have you seen? That's telling you to prove your haters wrong and Michael Jordan would make up stories and Tom Brady had a chip on his shoulder and Dana White's got this thing with his enemies. I got all that and it is leverage and I have been motivated to prove people wrong in my life. But I have to be honest with you. It's not the highest form of motivation is to prove people wrong. It's to prove you right. It's to prove God right. It's to move towards something, not away from feedback. So you can use the dark side and the light side. You can use positive and negative. You can use pain and pleasure as leverage.

• 5:02Ed Mylett?

  But sometimes what we call a hater is actually really good feedback. And stuff we need to hear. And by the way, even if their intentions are to hurt you, it doesn't mean that it can't help you to hear it. Right? Just because someone's intentions are bad, it doesn't mean, I mean, I'll be honest with you. When I was younger, the people that would say certain things about me, they were doing it because they were insecure or jealous or envious. But it doesn't necessarily mean that what they were saying wasn't accurate. And there weren't things I needed to improve on. And so don't slough off all this stuff. Not every piece of feedback or criticism is hate. And if I can be candid with you, the thing that I see in people is very thin skin. Very few people want to be coached. They say they do.

• 5:45Ed Mylett?

  But then they don't like the way they're coached or how they're spoken to, or they take things very personally. And that's because I really think as a culture, we've become very soft to criticism. And that's unfortunate because when I played baseball, for example, I called it coaching. Like, if I were dropping my hands too much, tell me if I were, you know, getting out on my front foot when I was hitting, I wanted to know if I was making a tactical mistake. I didn't think I was a hater or a critic. I thought it was coaching. And even if my coach was mad at me when he did it, if the feedback helped me get better, I wanted it. But I really do feel like people are really sensitive to criticism now. And frankly, in my life, if I didn't get criticism and feedback, constructive or not constructive,

• 6:28Ed Mylett?

  you know, I probably wouldn't have grown and changed as fast as I did. I love to coach people that are coachable at the speed of instruction. But they've got their feelings out of the way. You know, feelings are something that can really hold back your progress. How you feel about how someone coached you, how you feel about feedback, how you feel about a certain level of criticism. That feeling, success doesn't care how you feel. So I'm talking to you as a really good friend today. Success doesn't care how you feel about feedback. It just wants you to get better. Success is your coach. Success is your standard. Growth and expansion is requisite, right? In your life. And so don't just take everything that's, you know, hurtful as not true in your life.

• 7:11Ed Mylett?

  And so people have asked me like, was when you had the hater stage? You know, I'll give you the five stages now. There's five stages of progress in your life. But people ask me, was the hater stage when people were really criticizing, critical of you, which I'm sure I still have? The most difficult stage of your life? And it's not. I'll give you the stage one in most people's lives. Stage one is invisible. That was the hardest part of my life. Feeling invisible.

• 7:39Ed Mylett?

  People disregarding me, discounting me, not seeing me. Anonymity. That was the hardest part. Feeling like no one cared or took me seriously or paid any attention to me. No one was threatened by my progress or worried about me to compete against. And the invisible stage is the hardest stage of life. And that is the stage the vast majority of people are at, even listening today. And it's frankly, the stage most people never get out of. They never leave that stage. Because that invisibility, that anonymity, that complete disregard for you causes you to believe it.

• 8:20Ed Mylett?

  I don't think haters or feedback or critics are what stops most people. I think it's feeling invisible. And most people, as I've said, the vast majority of people never get to the point where anybody's noticing them to pick on them. And it's that repetitive pattern of I've always been invisible. I've always been average, so I'm always going to be ordinary. No one's ever going to take me seriously. No one's worried about competing against me. No one sees me coming.

• 8:47Ed Mylett?

  I think that's the stage that, you know, being underestimated.

• 8:53Ed Mylett?

  is really difficult. And what's even worse than that is no one estimating anything. Right? And that's the hardest stage and it's the hardest stage of where you are. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1 injections. Just submit your insurance card and Ro handles the rest. No paperwork, no waiting on hold, no confusing phone calls.

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• 10:20Ed Mylett?

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• 11:01Ed Mylett?

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• 11:10Ed Mylett?

  The good sign for you is when you get to stage two, which is people start to make fun of you. That's stage two. What a great indication you're making progress. You are now no longer invisible, at least to that one person, at least to those five people. So the first stage is usually not like hate. It's being made fun of. It's, it's going from being invisible. And if you're at that stage right now, I can't wait for you to have somebody make fun of you. Because once you get someone making fun of you, you know, kind of ripping you like, she thinks she's this or that, that, you know, isn't that cute? Bless his heart, he's gonna try. Did you see how bad he did in that speech? Did you see that sales call she made? Oh my gosh, she's hilarious. She takes herself way too soon.

• 11:51Ed Mylett?

  Look how he's dressing now, right? Look at him. Look how he talks. Look at the words he uses, whatever it is. Look at him going to his little business meeting. Look at her thinking she's a big deal. Right? That making fun of you stage is stage two of progress in your life. And at that stage, you can discount all of that feedback. That's not real stuff. That's insecure people around you being threatened by your progress, being threatened by your growth. And let's just be really honest. It's a huge thing. It's a massive compliment. To this day, you know, I'll have, you know, memes made about me. What a huge compliment. You know, that, you know, something I misspoke on a podcast or said and conflated, you know, a word or two.

• 12:36Ed Mylett?

  And it's a huge compliment. And by the way, here's what is really true. Nobody will be making fun of you that's doing better than you. Critics, that's a little different, which we'll get to in a minute. But the people are like making fun of you. They're feeling really bad about themselves. I have, don't have any energy in my life at this stage and haven't for a long time to poke fun at people. Fortunately, you know, I'm too busy growing and making progress myself. I have this great saying I've said for years that I, when I was getting that feedback from people, pardon my progress. Sorry, it makes you uncomfortable, right? But if you're getting poked fun of, you're making progress in your life and you've moved out of really the 90% pool already. The 90% pool in life is invisible, anonymous.

• 13:24Ed Mylett?

  Underestimate, actually not estimated at all. And they're completely disregarded. And that's a tough place to be, stage one. You gotta bust your tail to get out of stage one, and you can. And the indication that you've gotten out of stage one, and you're starting to get something going, even if there's no money, even if you don't have the external results yet. If you're being made fun of, people are joking about you, mocking you, right? Which is stage two, the mocking, joking, made fun of stage. You are making progress. It is actually the first external indication that you're making progress. You will be made fun of before you make the money. You will be made fun of before you get the promotion. You'll be made fun of before you get the body. You'll be made fun of before you get the relationship. You will be made fun of first.

• 14:08Ed Mylett?

  So people say, and that's when a lot of people quit, they're like, I don't have the external results yet. I don't have the body that I said I'd have, or the business, or the money, or the whatever I said I'd have, the promotion, the degree, whatever it is. You know, the professional career. And I'm being made fun of, that's like a double whammy, because there's no external proof that what I'm doing is right for me in my life. Wrong. The mocking, the making fun of stage is the external indication that always comes before the money. Always comes before the promotion, always comes before the progress, always comes before the reward. Is the mocking stage. So if you're being made fun of right now, you're at stage two of progress in your life, and good for you.

• 14:52Ed Mylett?

  And disregard all that feedback. Stage three, though, is the critic stage. This is when people aren't just making fun of you, now they're being a little bit critical. And you know what I mean by the difference, right? They, it hits home. It hits home, they're saying something like, hey, you're you're spending way too much time away from your family, or all you think about is money, or you've, you know, you, you're not paying attention to church anymore, or you're so obsessed. Whatever it might be, when's enough enough? They start criticizing you, which is different than poking fun at you, and here's the difference. Because it's actually deeper. It's actually something you're doing. And at this stage, most people in our culture now go haters.

• 15:34Ed Mylett?

  Haters, they're hatin'. I'm gonna use it as leverage. I'm gonna do this. And that is really valid a lot of the time. But it shouldn't be your knee jerk reaction. The first thing I think we should be asking ourselves is, is there any validity to this? Is this something I need to hear, even if they are antagonistic towards me? And by the way, some of these people that are critical of you, remember my dad was critical of me. Several times. And it hurt me because it was my dad. Right? Really hurt me. But he wasn't doing that because he was a hater. He was doing that because he was concerned. And in hindsight, he was justifiably concerned about some things I needed to improve. And so people that love you are allowed to be critical of you.

• 16:18Ed Mylett?

  And to give you feedback, and they should not be sloughed into the category. Of hater. So. All criticism is not hate. All feedback is not necessarily to be disregarded. In fact. I'd say it's at least 50 50. You should hear some of it. And see if there's an adjustment that needs to be made. Or if in the business, your business, you're struggling a little bit and you're being criticized because you're not making enough phone calls. Or showing up early enough, or growing, or reading, or whatever it might be. You should listen to that and decide, is this valid? And don't be so dad gum sensitive. Your sensitivity and your feelings may be costing you your dream.

• 16:59Ed Mylett?

  Do you hear me? So. Yeah, there are real haters. Okay, but can I give you the truth?

• 17:07Ed Mylett?

  The vast majority of people are worried about what you're thinking about them.

• 17:13Ed Mylett?

  That's what they're thinking about. They're not thinking about you. That's sort of an ego thing. They're actually not thinking about you. They're thinking about what you're thinking about them. Trust me. Right? And so, and I could promise you this, like. I always watch people that are actually somewhat successful, still talking about. Critics and haters. It's like, man, like your game should be so big right now that you're trying to prove something about who you're becoming. I don't spend any of my time with that kind of leverage anymore. Now, I get all that stuff. There's the famous Michael Jordan thing where he, you know, make up stuff and Dana White's got this thing about enemies. And Tom Brady was a six round draft pick. I get all that. I also know a few of them and I can tell you that although that motivated them, what really made them great was their standards, was who they were trying to become, was what they were trying to accomplish,

• 17:57Ed Mylett?

  was their vision, was their dream, was there a part of them was always had a chip on their shoulder? Yes, but there was a much bigger part of them that was chasing a dream, chasing expansion, contribution, their vision for their life. They're running down a dream. Didn't have a whole lot of time to spend waiting around and lining up critics. And so I want you to ask yourself that. If you're at the critic stage, this is progress. If you've got critics, you're making progress. Now, there is an adage that's also not true. I can tell you in my experience where people said, you will only get hate and criticism from people doing worse than you. Nope. You will only be made fun of by people doing worse than you. But trust me, you'll have some haters, some justifiable haters,

• 18:42Ed Mylett?

  who are critics of yours that are doing better than you. And sometimes they're your mentor. And the reason for that is they're threatened. You may take their position. They're threatened. You may never need them again as a mentor because you're outgrowing them and will move on to another one. I have watched very successful people be critical, frankly, haters of people that they lead. And I've watched it. And for some reason, they are threatened by the progress of a subordinate or someone in their organization, who will someday probably do better than them. Great leaders want to see people prosper and do better than them and share them on.

• 19:23Ed Mylett?

  People ask me all the time, like, why are you so good to people that, you know, have not always been great to you? And the reason that I try to be is because it's my standard. When I was younger, I wasn't that way. When I was 30, I didn't have this mindset. I just wanted to win, but now I want everybody to win. And I don't believe when someone else is winning, it means I'm losing. I in fact, I know that's not true. And so if you're at the critic stage, you're really doing something. But by the way, you can be criticized by somebody doing better than you. It's possible. And if that's happening, just understand it. So you got to distinguish, is this just a hater? This person is just jealous, envious, insecure, and there's no validity to what they're saying? Then use it as leverage. Or is there some validity? It hits home and it bothers you maybe because you know there's some validity to it.

• 20:08Ed Mylett?

  Some of these criticisms when I was younger would really bother me. And if I really pick it apart now that I'm a little bit older and currently when I have feedback from friends or whatever, it's because it's true. Or there's some shred of truth to it. And so even if they are trying to hurt my feelings, I'm going to leverage it to get better. If it's just hate, slough it off. So that's the the critic stage. Okay, I'm gonna take you through the real you. We're having a real talk today. All right.

• 20:36Ed Mylett?

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• 21:20Ed Mylett?

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• 21:37Ed Mylett?

  Once you pass the critic stage, you become very, very successful. And I'm going to be real with you. This is maybe as motivating as it could be, but it will be in a minute. Trust me. But I'm going to tell you the next stage you get to after you're successful. And it's they use you stage. They use you. And you'll then have a bunch of people use you, use you for your connections, use you for your relationship, use you for your credibility, use you for your money, use you for your access, use you for your knowledge.

• 22:07Ed Mylett?

  Use you for your brand, use you for whatever. And that's the next stage of success. You are now successful when people begin to use you. And almost all people have had some level of progress and success right now are going, I've never heard someone say that out loud. And it's so damn true. And anyone who's ever made any progress knows this. If you want to know whether or not you're making progress and you are now ultimately pretty darn successful. You, you're going to have people use you and try to use you. And that is stage four. So let's just think about this. There's the anonymity stage, the invisible stage. Then there's the make fun of you stage. Then there's the critic stage.

• 22:49Ed Mylett?

  And then there's the use you stage. And a lot of you right now, I could feel you even starting to tear up. You're like, that's exactly where I'm at right now. I've made some progress. I did have the people make, I was invisible. Then I had some people making fun of me. Then I had some critics. Then I grew, then I got better. Now I'm reasonably successful and I'm on my path to my dream. And you know what? People are starting to use me and it feels one way street a lot, doesn't it? It feels like you're always contributing. See, the law of reciprocity says that you're going to give without expecting anything in return. Some people give so that they can make a withdrawal. And that's the other thing you'll experience in your life that when, when someone says to you, well, for all I've done for you, you can't do this for me. That means they weren't really doing it for you. They were doing it for them with the intention to leverage that at some point.

• 23:33Ed Mylett?

  And so if you have someone saying that to you, well, I did this for you or for all I've, what all? Those sentences are someone who was not giving out of just to give, they were giving expecting something in return. Whereas I want people around me, which will be stage five in a minute, we'll talk about that they give without expecting anything in return. That they actually really embody the law of reciprocity. But here's the great news. Because we see all these things as in life, I did initially because no one told me any of this. As sort of this road, that's just not what you would think it'd be to success. So I went through this stage, many, many years of just being invisible and feeling below average and nobody took me seriously. And then all of a sudden, some people started to make fun of me.

• 24:15Ed Mylett?

  And that meant somehow I was making some kind of progress. That was making insecure people really insecure. And then a little while later, I got some critics. Some of them were just straight haters. You leverage that. Some of them though, were kind of sent by God, even in a mean package. To give me some feedback I needed to hear. And it took me too long to hear it. I sloughed everybody off who was critical. I was really thin skinned. I think you know what I'm talking about. I was in my feelings. I was real sensitive all the time. But the truth of the matter is, once I started to say, okay, no, that one, that's a jerk. But that one, they may actually be a jerk, but what they're saying, there's some validity to it. I need to shore that up. I'm not getting in early enough.

• 24:56Ed Mylett?

  Or I am doing X, Y, or Z, or I do lose my temper too much, or I do, there's some validity to that. I need to tighten that one up. That's a valid one. And so that's when you're really growing is when you sit back almost unemotionally and say, is there something I need to hear here? Is there something I need to change here? Is there any validity? You can even ask someone else that you do trust. Hey, so and so says this. Is there some truth to that? You're not going to hurt my feelings. Please tell me. Is there some truth? Now, they were just trying to help you, man, or maybe they weren't. Maybe they're just, they're just trying to hurt you. But in that hurt was something that needed to grow you. Right? And then you'll go to a stage where people start to use you.

• 25:40Ed Mylett?

  And then you've, you're really making it. And so if you're at that stage now where you're going, yep, someone just did that, or you know what, six months ago, or I thought about this one situation, or yeah, all of a sudden. And that's just part of progress. And it's just never talked about. I, you know, I'm, I don't think I've heard a podcast or anybody cover the use you stage. And, and you'll never leave that stage completely. And then one of the things you have to do is you become successful. And whatever that means, by the way, may not mean money. It may mean just that, man, you're really in good shape now. Or yours way happier. Or your faith's really grown. Whatever it is. When you get to that stage, you have to learn to distinguish when you meet new people.

• 26:22Ed Mylett?

  Who are they? And why do they want to be around you? And that's part of being more successful like you're being, or you will be. And for those of you that are on the beginning of the journey, this is a podcast you can just remember and listen forever and go, oh, my gosh, he told me that I was going to get made fun of after I was invisible. He's right. That's happening. Oh, my gosh, now I'm being criticized. That happened. Oh, wow. Someone's trying to leverage me and use me now. Yeah. Okay, I remember this. Ed Mylett told me about that. And that's the next stage. And then there's this other stage, though, stage five, where you're around people who give to give. And I'd call this like the collaborate with people stage, the ride with you stage.

• 27:07Ed Mylett?

  And then you'll meet a small group and it will be small. As you climb life's ladder and whatever that means to you, wealth, money, influence, faith, physicality, spirituality, brand, influence, whatever it is, then you'll find a small group of people who truly want to collaborate, who want to ride with you, who want to help you, who want to give just to give, and you give just to give to them. And that will be a small group. And when you find that group, that's your tribe. Those are your ride or dies. Those are the real ones. And sometimes they show up, you think they're that way, and it turns out they're not. Always would give you advice to be very, very careful who you allow into your close circle.

• 27:53Ed Mylett?

  And but when you have those people, that's why becoming successful is worth it. The first four stages are pretty tough. And by the way, you can experience all five stages at the same time, once you're successful. You can, once you're very successful, you can still have people critical of you that are using you, but that also give and collaborate and love you. And stage five is beautiful. I remember, I'll give you something that, I remember when I was younger, my dad had very few friends, close friends, he had some. And I remember thinking, I almost looked down at him for that to some extent, like, why doesn't he have a bigger life? Why doesn't my dad have more pals and buddies and, you know, the guys like other people do?

• 28:36Ed Mylett?

  And I remember my dad, very wise man, saying to me, he goes, Eddie, you know, the older you get, the more the shirt, the circle shrinks. And you realize who truly loves you, who truly believes in you, who truly has your back, who's there, not there to.

• 28:53Ed Mylett?

  Take all the time, but to give. And he goes, the older you get, you'll realize there's very few of those. And he goes, it'll be a couple of friends and it'll be your family. And it won't even be all your family. And I think he's right. You know, the older I've gotten, I've got a great group of people that are in my ride group, my collaborate group, my friend group. But it's hard to get in that group. Because I've lived a long time and I've seen this stuff. I hope you can appreciate like a real talk today. And let me say this to you. It's all so worth it. Because when you make your dream come true, whatever that is, as good as you think it's going to be to make it come true, it's a million times better.

• 29:38Ed Mylett?

  And the reason it's a million times better is that fifth group of people that you will have done it with them. You can't do it alone. You're going to need the help from some great people. You're going to need some mentors, you're going to need some coaches, you're going to need some cheerleaders. You're going to need some people who tell you the truth. And you need to be smart enough when they tell you the truth, not to slough them off as a hater. Or a critic, but they're giving you feedback because they love you. See, the only way you get to stage five, ever, where you have climbed where you want to climb. And you've got that ride or die kind of collaborative group around you. Is that when you're at that critic stage, you learn to distinguish between someone who's a hater

• 30:19Ed Mylett?

  and someone who's trying to tell you the truth about things you need to know to get better and grow. So many people get stuck in the invisible stage, but a lot get stuck in this hater stage because of all this stuff online about just haters, prove them wrong. There's a lot of validity to that statement. But like anything, you can take it in large doses and take it too far. And then people become very in sense, very sensitive, very in their feelings, very hurt all the time. I want my friends to love me, but not to accept me as I am. I don't want a bunch of people around me that accept me as I am. I want people around me to see me as I can be. And not accept the standard I've got now if they believe I'm capable of better.

• 31:04Ed Mylett?

  Not accept my low standard of whatever it might be in the gym or in my faith or in my business life or the content I'm creating or how I treat people. I want someone to go, hey Eddie, you need to hear this man and I love you. And I needed to be smart enough at the critic stage to go, that's someone that actually might be in my ride or die group because they've got the guts to tell me the truth about me. Where everybody else just yeses me to my face and criticizes me behind my back. I want the person who sits down and goes, bro, I love you. I love you. So I'm gonna tell you something difficult you need to know. Right? And they tell you. And you need to be smart enough to go, that's just hate. You're jealous. You're insecure. Maybe not. Wouldn't it be terrible to get to the end of your life and God had sent you some messengers in your life?

• 31:48Ed Mylett?

  That were there to give you the message you needed to hear? And you didn't hear it or listen to it because you just thought they were a hater. Right? Maybe they truly love you. And you need to hear it. By the way. Maybe they don't and they're trying to hurt you, but you still need to hear it.

• 32:05Ed Mylett?

  And then of course, there's the group where they're just jerks and you should slough it off and prove them wrong, but that ain't everybody. In your life. And I think I've made some real progress in my life by being able to make that distinction. You say, Ed, well, how do you know? You don't initially. But I think the way you most likely can determine it is internally and praying about it going, was what they said true? Is this bugging me so deeply because there's some validity to it? Or is it bugging me because it's just totally not true and they're misunderstanding me? And by the way, if you're consistently misunderstood, I need to change the way you behave and communicate. Because that's a you problem. And as I do podcasts like this, as you know, I'm talking to me. At 53 years old, I'm gonna be candid. I'm gonna open the door a little bit for you.

• 32:49Ed Mylett?

  I don't like having my feelings hurt. I don't like being sideways with people. I don't like criticism. I uh, I'm one of these people that if we were friends and I'd done something to hurt you, man, I want to fix it so quickly. I'm just not good. It's crazy because I'm an intense person. I'm terrible with conflict. I don't like being in conflict. It bothers me so much and I don't know what that comes from, something in my childhood, probably. But all of my friends that are listening to this that know me, they'll tell you, man, it's just, I want to fix it. I want to make it right. I, and by the way, I'm capable of hurting people. I'm capable of losing my temper or saying something I shouldn't say and uh, man, I want to fix it as quickly as I can. So,

• 33:32Ed Mylett?

  I want you to know that when you're going through these stages, it's awesome. If the invis- the only stage that sucks is the invisible stage. It sucks because it's an indication that you quite haven't made the progress and grown the way you need to. And you need to make a statement. The only way people are ever going to believe in you and support you is you got to support you and believe in you first. The only way you're ever going to get people, people say, how do I get my spouse to support me? You got to do something. You got to step up and prove something. People, people are watching you. They're watching you and I can tell you that when you begin to make progress, there's going to be some people come on board, but there's also going to be people make fun of you. It's going to be people criticize you. Then there's going to be people that use you, but then there's those people that will collaborate and love you and believe in you and support you.

• 34:15Ed Mylett?

  And they're the ones that help make your dreams come true. And as I said, it's a million times better and not for the reason you think. Most of the dreams you want to make come true. They're going to feel pretty good. But it's not those dreams. It's actually the dreams you will make of the people that you love who haven't even had the dream yet. There's someone in your family who doesn't even know they need you, but when you become very wealthy, you're going to help them with a medical situation. God's going to bless you like that. There's, there's, there's a situation. There's someone in your family that hasn't been born yet and your success, your example is going to inspire them. There's someone in your family who's going to need something really bad. You're going to be there to give it to them. And right now, that's not even your dream or your vision. The great part about making your dreams come true is the dreams that you'll make come true of the people that you love, who don't even know they have those dreams yet, or haven't even been born yet.

• 35:00Ed Mylett?

  That part, you're like, wow, added bonus, amazing. The other bonus is that when you get there, there's some people you can look in the eye and go, man, we did it. We did something great together. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for your help. I love you. Man, we did something great. We maxed out, right? It's having that group, whether that's your spouse, or your family, or your friend, or three or four people, or your team in your company, and there's eight or 10 or 12 that you know are the key ones that were there. They were there in the hard times. They stuck it out when you're almost out of business and they still believed in you and they picked you up and you were going to quit and they didn't let you, right? And then you look each other in the eye when you won and you go, man, we did something great together. That's awesome. People ask me all the time, you know, when I played sports in high school and college, like, what do I miss?

• 35:45Ed Mylett?

  Man, I miss my teammates. I don't miss practice. I don't miss, you know, all the grind of the travel. I miss my teammates. I miss that look on the bus on the way back or in the dugout like, hey, man, we did it. This is awesome. Man, this is awesome. No one thought we were going to do this, right? And all that stage, and ask any athlete, any athlete was at one time invisible. Then people made fun of them. Then they had critics. Then they had people come around and use them, and then they won. And when they won, they've got mentors, coaches, friends, family, that small group of people, that it's so worth it. And so that's my thought on the five stages of success. And do you really have haters? And who are they? Which ones are they?

• 36:27Ed Mylett?

  And to be really, really careful, hopefully this wisdom, these ideas, give you food for thought. And then ask yourself, what stage you at right now? You at the invisible stage? That's okay. Every successful person was once invisible, once felt average, once felt discounted, once thought, everybody's underestimating me, or not even estimating me at all. Every single successful, happy person was made fun of. Not most, all, all. Every single successful person had critics, but the successful ones didn't slough them all off as haters. They listened to the feedback and decided whether it was valid and made course corrections and adjustments where they should, and then use the actual haters as leverage.

• 37:10Ed Mylett?

  Every single person who has become successful in anything has been used and taken advantage of and had people leverage them. Are you at that stage? It's a stage no one talks about till today. And then there's the collaboration stage, the ride stage, the make your dreams come true stage, the reason you live stage, to be really honest with you, is that group of people that make you better, that love you but don't accept you as you are. Say, let's grow, let's get better, let's push each other, let's make something great happen. I believe you're so amazing, I think in this one area you can get better. Right? I want my friends to accept a lot of things about me, but not all of them. There ought to be some area they're like, man, you're better than that. Come on, let's roll. Right?

• 37:52Ed Mylett?

  And so that's what, to me, it's all about in life, is to do something great. And as someone who's done a little bit of it, I can just tell you, as great as you think it is, it's better. It's better. All right, I hope this helped you today. I bet it did. And if it did, share it with somebody. You know, I talk to me as I'm talking to you. And I hope you sense that today. These are all things I need to work on, all things I've realized, and all things that I'm hoping as a guy coming, you know, back the road a little bit can help you with directions to where you want to go. God bless you. I love you. Max out your life.