Pod Insights On Purpose with Jay Shetty 8 Ways to Deal With Negativity: News, Social Media, People & Reduce Stress In Your Life About this episode What do you do when it seems like you’re surrounded by negativity everywhere you look? In this episode, Jay Shetty shares how to keep the negativity and stress of the world from affecting your life. Just because you’re constantly bombarded with bad news doesn’t mean you have to let it hurt you or weigh you down.
Watch the full video to learn Jay Shetty’s eight strategies and techniques to deal with negativity in the news and reduce stress in your life. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:29 Jay Shetty? AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.
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3:00 Jay Shetty? Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. When your emotions are based on fiction, they control you because now you become a fiction writer and your emotions start painting these vivid pictures of how bad everything is. And fact will just shoot an arrow right through that, but we don't focus on fact. Please focus on fact. See, things are not getting worse. We're not getting better at seeing what the truth is.
3:37 Jay Shetty? Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one place to listen, learn, and grow. Now, before we begin, if you have not had an opportunity to listen to the Meditative Story Podcast, check it out. It combines intimate stories told by extraordinary humans with mindfulness prompts and breathtaking music in a way I've never heard before. My friend Arianna Huffington's Thrive Global, in partnership with the media startup Wait What, creates the podcast. In fact, I'll be sharing a meditative story as the premiere of their new season on March 3rd. I think you'll find Meditative Story to be beautiful and transcendent. Now, this topic today has been a long time coming.
4:22 Jay Shetty? I feel this is something that so many of you DM me about, so many of you are asking about, so many of you are thinking about, because there is just so much negativity around us. Right? We have to deal with so much negativity in the news, at work. In our families, in our friend circles, in the news, it's a headline every single day, a headline that just breaks down our life, like it just makes you feel terrible. And sometimes it makes you feel sick and sometimes it just makes you feel sad and disheartened and depressed. And then you've got your family and your friends, you've got gossip going on, you've got conflict, you've got people in your inner circle who just don't see eye to eye anymore.
5:05 Jay Shetty? Or maybe one of your friends has cheated on another friend and now you're the one in the middle, managing all of this conflict. Or maybe in your family, maybe people in your family haven't got along for years. And again, you're at the heart of it, you're mediating, you're navigating, you're negotiating, you're having to be the ambassador and advocate on behalf of someone. And then in the workplace, there's competition, there's politics around who's going to get promoted, there's politics around favoritism. Maybe you're experiencing like your boss or manager don't recognize who you are. And now you're feeling the negativity there as well. It seems that we're surrounded by negativity.
5:50 Jay Shetty? And of course, no one wants to live there. I don't blame you, I'm with you, I don't want to live there either. And this is why I've built these strategies and these techniques and these tools that still allow me to function effectively in the world. They allowed me to be a realist, they allow me to be in touch and connection with what is going on. But these tools and strategies that I'm going to share with you in this podcast also allow me to be free, they allow me to think, they allow me to dream, they allow me to continue to try and make an impact in the world, which is something I know that is so important to each and every one of you. I know that each and every one of you listening right now is just not wanting to be a passenger in the world,
6:33 Jay Shetty? but you want to live your purpose in the world and you want to make a difference and you want to make an impact. And I want to help you do that as well. I want to serve you and support you in a way that you're not limited, you're not held back by this negativity, but that you're powered and empowered to make a difference. I've been reading a ton more again, I've been diving back into books since I finished writing my book, right? This is what kind of happens when you finish writing your book, you can start reading others' books again, because I've been reading my books so many times. And I'm so proud of the book that I was able to write. And I can't wait for you to read it. If you haven't pre-ordered it, please, please, please make sure you go and preorder it right now from ThinkLikeAMonkBook.com.
7:15 Jay Shetty? It's also available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, internationally. Can't wait for you to read it. But I've been reading again, and one of the books that I've been reading is called Factfulness. Now, I read it last year, but I've been reading it again this year. And the author, Hans Rosling, asked these amazing questions. Listen to this carefully. This is a question from the book, and I want you to answer it for yourself. In the last 20 years, the proportion of the world population living in extreme poverty, has it A, almost doubled, B, remained the same, or C, halved? Which one is it? Is it A, B, or C? Has, in
7:57 Jay Shetty? the last 20 years, the proportion of the world population living in extreme poverty, has it A, almost doubled, B, remained the same, or C, halved? Think about it for a moment, even scribble it down, write it down right now. I want to know what you think it is. So, the answer is C. It has halved. But when asked this, when the author looked into the studies and research about this, less than 10% knew this. Most people believe that in the last 20 years, the proportion of the world population living in extreme poverty has almost doubled or remained the same. And actually, it has halved, which is great news. I mean, not that that has solved the problem, not that we have solved world
8:42 Jay Shetty? poverty, but we should be happy by the fact that things are progressing in the right direction. We have made some progress. Let me ask you the second question that Hans Rosling in this book, Factfulness, poses. He says, where do we think life expectancy is now? What is life expectancy? What is the average life expectancy for a human? Answer is A, 50, B, 60, or C, 72. Which one do you think it is? A, B, or C? A, 50, B, 60, or C, 70? Play along with me, right? It's fun to figure this out together. Most people think it's B, 60. The answer is actually seventy, because the average is seventy-two. Now, some places state that we're exposed to more negativity today
9:27 Jay Shetty? in twenty-four hours than we were in our whole lifetime twenty-five years ago. Right? Just, just think about that for a moment. That today, we're exposed to more negativity in twenty-four hours than we were in our whole lifetime twenty-five years ago. Now, whether that's completely statistically or factually true, the point is, I think we've all experienced it. We look at our messages, we look at our incoming news, we look at news from a friend, we look at what's happening when you're in the gym or you've got televisions all around you. Like, now, walking down the street, you're getting news. You're getting news through social media. Right? You're getting news through so many different places. If you think about life twenty-five years ago, imagine how long, twenty-five years ago, thirty-five years ago, fifty years ago,
10:11 Jay Shetty? it took news to travel from one town to the other town, from one city to the other city. And if you think about it fifty years ago, fifty years ago, sixty years ago, a hundred years ago, if something happened in another country, would it even get across? Or would it be old news by the time it did? Today, it's almost like we literally find out news instantly. We know what's happening halfway across the world instantly. Right? Just, just absolutely instantly, news just spreads. And negativity triggers us to respond. Think about this carefully. This is something I've just been observing, and this has just been my observation. I've just been watching, and I'm intrigued by watching it.
10:51 Jay Shetty? If you hear the news that someone has died versus someone is born, your mind naturally feels more sad of someone dying than happy for someone being born. We interact more with the news that someone has died, something that we've lost, rather than rejoicing in the powerful thing of someone being born. Now, I'm not comparing those two as, as not important for you to feel sad. That's not the point I'm making, but I'm saying, look at how the mind latches on to that. If you read in the news that someone died age ninety-nine versus someone survived until age one oh one, I mean, it's the same story, but from a different angle. Our mind focuses on the negative.
11:36 Jay Shetty? Right? Our mind focuses on the negative. And Hans Rosling, in his book Factfulness, talks about the ten reasons we're wrong about the world and why things are better than you think. So notice how in those first two examples, most of us believed that poverty had either stayed the same or grown, or we believed life expectancy was lower. And he gives more and more examples to show us that actually, things are not as bad as we think, which means that our thoughts believe that things are more negative. Now, why do we believe that things are more negative? We believe things are more negative because, like I said, we're consuming more negativity in a day. News travels faster. Our mind is tuned in to the negative news. The negative news stands out.
12:21 Jay Shetty? And I remember a very poor statement, but I used to hear it repeated in newsrooms all the time. If it bleeds, it reads. If it bleeds, it leads. Right? If there's a news story that is harsh, tough, challenging, conflict, pain, people read it more. It leads in the rankings more. Now, this is a choice that we get to make. We know that this happens because our cave people brains focus more on protection. The belief that a tiger might be hiding in the woods, or the trees, or rustling could be a snake slithering across, forces us to try and protect ourselves through knowing what's negative. But when we do that over and over and over and over and over and over and over again,
13:06 Jay Shetty? we're creating this habit of amplifying negativity in our lives. Right? Amplifying negativity in our lives. And the example that I was giving, I posted this on Instagram a few weeks ago now, I'm just trying to bring it up and find it for you all. So listen to this. I said, "You remember the bad times more than the good times, because when you're struggling, you cry for a week, but when you succeed, you celebrate for a day, appreciate your wins more." Now, when I posted that, it's the same mindset, right? That when we see some bad news, we talk about it for longer. We talk about it with everyone. Right? When something goes wrong, how often do you call someone up? How often do you message someone and say, "Did you see this?"
13:48 Jay Shetty? But when something goes amazing, how often do you message someone and go, "Did you see this?" How often do you bring it up at a dinner conversation or a coffee conversation? And maybe you do, but I'm just showing us the tricks of the mind.
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16:15 Jay Shetty? The mind tricks us in all these ways and we sometimes miss them. Now, I want to share with you some reasons why this happens. Now, one of the reasons which I've noticed is that every generation thinks that their time is the worst. Literally, if you spoke to your parents, they would tell you that when they were growing up, things were the worst. What they went through as teenagers, and when you look at history, for example, you look at World War I, you look at World War II, you look at everything that's happened in history, you look at the extent to which it's been, it feels like the worst. But as the generation currently experiencing it, and even your parents experiencing now, we think now is the worst. But notice that that is a common thing that all people feel.
16:59 Jay Shetty? The second thing that Hans Rosling points out is something called selective reporting. Your friends tell you when something is wrong instead of right. Most people think there are more crimes in the US, but actually there are less, right? And that selective reporting is so interesting because it happens in news, it always happens through our friends, it happens in our work circles, it happens in so many different spaces. Now, I was thinking about this, right? Imagine a plane that was about to land badly, but didn't. It wouldn't get reported, right? If a plane was about to land badly, but it landed fine, it wouldn't get reported. But if it crashed, then it would have been reported straight away.
17:37 Jay Shetty? So naturally, the selective reporting and the selective news that we're exposed to changes what we experience, right? It changes what we experience, it changes what we think. And therefore, so many of us think things are more negative than they actually are. And I think this is an important point because what I'm trying to say is not just positive thinking. I'm not just saying, "I'll read positive stuff and you'll feel positive." That's really not the solution from this podcast, and that's not what I want you to walk away with. But I want to make you aware of the tricks your mind is playing. If you're not aware of the tricks, you can't spot it. I'll give an example, you go watch an illusionist or a magician. If you know how they do the trick, you can't be fooled. But if you don't know how they do the trick, you believe they can read your mind.
18:23 Jay Shetty? And we all do this to ourselves every day with the news through advertising. The news knows that you react better to negative news. So guess what? You see negative news more. And therefore, when you see negative news and you respond more, people keep creating negative news. So you don't get a chance to rewire your brain. You don't get that chance. And that doesn't get solved by reading positive stuff alone. So I want to share with you eight strategies and techniques to deal with negativity in the news and reduce stress in your life. Because when you keep reading negative stories, the challenge is that negative thoughts become our norm.
19:08 Jay Shetty? And when negative thoughts become our norm, they keep repeating themselves in a way that causes us pain and more stress and pressure. So here are eight. And Hans Rosling shares a lot of these as well. So I highly recommend reading the book alongside this or after this too. So number one, Hans Rosling says it's feeling, not thinking. Emotional, not logical or rational. So because negative is something that we feel, whereas when we read something positive, it's something that we think. It's something that you know. Whereas when you experience negativity, you feel it. And this is why it's so important to feel our positives and feel our wins. We rarely feel and process our good news through deep emotions of gratitude and satisfaction.
19:53 Jay Shetty? These, these things are lacking in our receiving of good things in our life. Right? So this is why when we talk about gratitude, it's not like, oh, just be grateful. It's like gratitude is allowing you to deeply feel something positive in your life. If you get good news and you just go, oh, that's great. And you don't feel grateful for it, it doesn't really leave a lasting impression in your life. Whereas when you hear bad news, it always has an emotional impact. Right? It does it automatically. Whereas with good news, we have to process it through gratitude. That's the difference. With bad news, you emotionally connect with it already. With good news, we're somewhat limited because, you know, we try and be modest.
20:37 Jay Shetty? We don't really appreciate it. We don't really understand it. So it's so important to deeply process and immerse in those wins and those successes that come into our life. Strategy number two. Make sure you read about good news and really understand positive stories and amplify the good that happens. So, so many of us, like I said, we read the good news and we read the bad news. We share the bad news, but we hold on to the good news. And it's so important to expose your mind to good news stories as well, to read about the positive and powerful things that are happening in the world. Because when you do that, it also gives you more hope, belief and faith. When I started reading this book, I was just like, oh wow, well,
21:21 Jay Shetty? if the world's not as bad as we think it is, then actually I can still make an impact. Right? When you think that everything's crumbling down around you, that's when you get into a depressive mode and you go, I can't have an impact. I can't do anything. Right? How many of you have been there? Right? How many of you have ever felt like that? Where you're just like, Jay, it's helpless. There's no point. I can't do it. And I, I hear that sometimes when I'm speaking at an event, so many people say to me like, Jayla, what's the point of trying? Well, things are not as bad as you think. You're just only exposed to the negatives. You think things are worse and you think you can't do anything about it. But actually, you can do so much about it. So from now on, I want you to do this. When you see something you like, and I see you do it, those of you who are sharing the podcast, it means the world to me. When you're seeing something good, you're sharing it
22:05 Jay Shetty? with others. Therefore, everyone else gets to join in and be a part of that good. Right? A couple of weeks ago, when we did the Jada Pinkett Smith episode, so many of you posted about it, which means so many more people got to hear about it. If you're benefiting from something, if you're growing from something, a podcast, a book, a course, a workshop, a charity, a community, a group of people, whatever it is, share that. Share that so that more people can get involved and be a part of that transformation. Don't just let it stay there. Don't just let it stay there because we do it with negative news. Now, the third one, be selective about the selective reporting you consume. And these are three
22:47 Jay Shetty? questions that I recommend to be selective. Is it necessary? Is it useful? And is it helpful to you? You will find that when you ask this question, you will find that most of the news is not necessarily useful or helpful to you. It's not really making a difference in your personal life, yet we glue to it like it's going to transform our lives. Right? We watch television like it's meant to be personal development and self-growth. When actually it's just completely bombarding us with negativity bullets. That's literally all it is. It's negativity bullets all day. And I mean, none of us are bulletproof to negativity. I mean, there's no bulletproof jacket to negativity. That's what we're trying to build right now. But if you're wearing a bulletproof jacket, but you're still being bombarded by negativity
23:30 Jay Shetty? bullets every single day, of course it's going to tear. Of course it's going to break. So it's so important that you ask yourself, is this necessary for me to know this? Is it useful? And is it helpful? Not just for having a conversation around the water machine at work, not just for being engaged in a WhatsApp conversation. Is it truly helping you live better? Is it truly helping you live better?
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25:28 Jay Shetty? Now, number four. Hans Rosling says, "Don't be surprised by bad news." And this doesn't mean you don't become immune, you become immune to bad news. That isn't the point, because we don't want that. We don't want an apathetic society or community that doesn't care and doesn't feel compassion. But what it means by that is, when you see it, don't let your mind give you that fake feeling of, "Oh, wow, like, this is new, this is novel." Because then it starts getting attached to that sort of a feeling, right? So don't allow yourself to get so surprised by it. Allow yourself to process it, to reflect. And that's what number five is. Don't judge before researching and reading. This is one of the biggest mistakes we make, is that we believe the headline.
26:10 Jay Shetty? Now, when I read a lot of sports news, for example, and, you know, sports isn't life or death, so it's not even important. But I know this for a fact. Every article I'm clicking on, you're clicking on because of the title. And then when you read about it, you're like, "Oh, well, that manager didn't even say that." Or, "That player didn't even say that." And so you have to do your research and reading. You can't just judge and make a negative judgment based on something without reading about it, without researching it. And when you do that, you start expanding your mind. You start to expand your thoughts and your abilities. And you start thinking and approaching tasks in different ways as well. Number six is, don't make a final conclusion without all of the facts. This one's huge for me.
26:55 Jay Shetty? So even if I'm stressed about something at work, or I'm stressed about something happening, until I have the facts... I won't make a decision or a conclusion and I will actually look for the facts in all of my life in any negativity that I have. So if people are scared in the work or family area, there's conflict and we don't know, I call someone up and I will find the facts out right now because I only want to have my emotions to be based on facts. When your emotions are based on facts, they can't control you. When your emotions are based on fiction, they control you. Listen to that again. When your emotions are based on facts, they can't control you. When your emotions are based on fiction, they control you because now you become a fiction writer and your emotions
27:37 Jay Shetty? start painting these vivid pictures of how bad everything is. And fact will just shoot an arrow right through that. But we don't focus on facts. Please focus on facts. See, things are not getting worse. We're not getting better at seeing what the truth is. Things are not getting worse. We're not getting better at seeing what the truth is. That is what's happened. As E O Wilson said, we're drowning in information, starving for wisdom. Wisdom is that. Wisdom is getting better at finding facts, seeing what the truth is. And you may say, gee, I don't even have time to do that. Well, guess what? That time could save you brain space for negativity.
28:18 Jay Shetty? That time is going to give you a positive, powerful mindset that things are possible. There's a great story of Roger Bannister where it was called the four-minute mile, right? No one believed that you could run a mile in under four minutes. And he did it. He broke that record and then everyone believed you could do it, that everyone broke his record. So for so many years, no one believed you could run it in less than that. And once he broke it, everyone believed. This is what our negative patterns are like. We believe something negative and until it gets broken, until someone shows us an opening door another way, we don't believe that it's truly possible. Now, number seven, this is really important. I've said it before, I've said it for a few years, but it's powerful, right?
29:02 Jay Shetty? What's on your newsfeed is feeding your mind. What do you want to see first thing in the morning? Choose an Instagram page, choose a podcast, right? Whatever it is, what do you want to see first thing in the morning? And limit your opportunities to see negativity first thing in the morning. Because guess what? Negativity is contagious and it's like a downward cycle. Once you've seen one thing, you then spot the next negative thing. You spot the next negative thing and then you're on a negative train. Right? Our minds are like that. Once it spots one thing that it sees, it then spots another thing like and connects. How many times has this happened to you? Right? Like when you see something in the morning, first thing, you now see it all day. That's going to happen with positive and negative too. That's going to happen with gratitude and not too.
29:45 Jay Shetty? So if the first thing you see is something negative, it's now putting you on the back foot. And number eight, find a way to get your news. Follow the right places, listen to the right podcasts. Have your feed set up so you only come across the places that you trust, the things that you want. Set your notifications up. Get curated about that because you don't just want to be allowing yourself to be bombarded from anywhere all the time. You want to make it focused, right? You want to be exposed to what you choose to be exposed to at that time. And of course, if something is huge news, you're going to find out through a friend or someone else anyway. But why make it tough for your mind? Why make it challenging for your mind?
30:29 Jay Shetty? I want you to try out these eight strategies. Check out factfulness as well. The reason I did this podcast is I just don't want any of you to believe that there isn't hope. I don't want any of you to believe that we can't change the world. I don't want any of you to believe that we should all give in. We should all just stop and we should stop trying. I just don't want you to believe that because it's just not true. And that's what they want us to do. That's what anyone would love for us to do is just stop believing. But there's no need for you to stop believing. There's no need for you to stop having hope because things are getting better, even if it doesn't always feel like it. And even if the only thing that is getting better is that we're more awake, that we're more focused, that we're more pumped to make a difference,
31:12 Jay Shetty? even if that is the only thing that's getting better, that's huge. Because humans being activated around purpose and mission is the most powerful thing that can happen. So if that's the most powerful thing that can happen, that is amazing, right? If that's the only thing that's happening is all of us are getting more together and unified and working together, then that's all we need. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. Make sure you share your biggest takeaways. Tag me on Instagram, tag me on Twitter, tag me on Facebook, on LinkedIn. I love seeing all of them. And please, please, please make sure you go and grab a copy of Think Like a Monk, Training Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Single Day. Thanks for listening, everyone.
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32:35 Speaker 05 This episode is brought to you by Netflix's new series East of Eden, a bold reimagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece, following generations of the Trask family through love, betrayal, and the choices that shape humanity, starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask Brothers and Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames, the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants, no matter the cost. Watch East of Eden, October 1st, only on Netflix.
33:05 Speaker 06 Mr. President, my company tore me of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.
33:22 Jay Shetty? What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.
33:26 Speaker 06 With great power comes great deniability.
33:29 Jay Shetty? I'm not the first man.
33:30 Speaker 06 Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.
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